Get It Together Organize Your Records So Your Family Won’T Have To
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2nd Edition Get It Together Organize Your Records So Your Family Won’t Have To By Melanie Cullen with Shae Irving, J.D. always up to date The law changes, but Nolo is on top of it! We offer several ways to make sure you and your Nolo products are up to date: Nolo’s Legal Updater 1 We’ll send you an email whenever a new edition of this book is published! Sign up at www.nolo.com/legalupdater. Updates @ Nolo.com 2 Check www.nolo.com/update to nd recent changes in the law that affect the current edition of your book. Nolo Customer Service 3 To make sure that this edition of the book is the most recent one, call us at 800-728-3555 and ask one of our friendly customer service representatives. Or nd out at www.nolo.com. please note We believe accurate, plain-English legal information should help you solve many of your own legal problems. But this text is not a substitute for personalized advice from a knowledgeable lawyer. If you want the help of a trained professional—and we’ll always point out situations in which we think that’s a good idea—consult an attorney licensed to practice in your state. 2nd Edition Get It Together Organize Your Records So Your Family Won’t Have To By Melanie Cullen with Shae Irving, J.D. SECOND EDITION FEBRUARY 2007 Editor SHAE IRVING Cover Photography TONYA PERME (tonyaperme.com) Book Design SUSAN PUTNEY Index JANET PERLMAN Proofreading ROBERT WEllS Printing CONSOLIDATED PRINTERS, INC. Cullen, Melanie, 1951- Get it together : organize your records so your family won’t have to / by Melanie Cullen ; with Shae Irving. p. cm. Includes index. ISBN-13: 978-1-4133-0563-0 (alk. paper) ISBN-10: 1-4133-0563-6 (alk. paper) 1. Estate planning--United States--Popular works. I. Irving, Shae. II. Title. KF750.Z9C85 2007 332.024'016--dc22 2006046794 Copyright © 2007 by Nolo. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PRINTED IN THE USA. N o part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without prior written permission. Reproduction prohibitions do not apply to the forms contained in this product when reproduced for personal use. Quantity sales: For information on bulk purchases or corporate premium sales, please contact the Special Sales Department. For academic sales or textbook adoptions, ask for Academic Sales. Call 800-955-4775 or write to Nolo, 950 Parker Street, Berkeley, CA 94710. Acknowledgments I admit it: I’ve suffered an unflagging obsession with this book. Many others have suffered from it, too, enduring my insatiable curiosity about organizing their affairs, planning for death, and working through loss and grief. For the latter, if I seemed more curious than compassionate, I apologize for not simply extending my condolences. Despite my enthusiasm, this book would not have made it to market without help from others. The book you hold in your hands is evidence of my indebtedness to several people. Shae Irving, a talented editor and writer, brought sage judgment to bear. Her dedication to simplicity —while acknowledging complexity—fulfilled my prayers. Robert Wells contributed his fine proof- reading skills. My Nolo design team—Susan Putney, Toni Ihara, and André Zivkovich—helped make the book easy to use and a pleasure to hold. Evelyn Crabtree, Gloria Fudim, Betty Harrison, Marilyn Moyle, Becky Tobitt, and Karen Witesman gave me thoughtful feedback on initial drafts—from practical questions to spiritual issues and emotional challenges. Suzanne Rotondo helped to envision this book, then responded to my seemingly endless questions and dilemmas with helpful direction. Finally, but first of all, my mom, Bonnie Harris, and my daughters, Tanya Cullen and Sasha Swanson, provided the inspiration, love, and faith that initially—and ultimately—inspired this book. About Melanie Cullen Melanie Cullen holds an MBA from the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University. Following 20 years in corporate management, she is a consultant in management and technology. An avid planner and a blue-chip organizer, she lives in Davis, California, near to loved ones who appreciate that her affairs are truly in order. About Shae Irving Shae Irving graduated from Boalt Hall School of Law at the University of California, Berkeley, and joined the editorial staff at Nolo in 1994. She is the author or coauthor of many Nolo products, including Prenuptial Agreements: How to Write a Fair and Lasting Contract, Medical Directives and Powers of Attorney for California, and Nolo’s WillMaker software. She also edits many of Nolo’s estate planning books, among them The Executor’s Guide, Plan Your Estate, and Estate Planning Basics. A Personal Note From Melanie Cullen My mother died unexpectedly a few years ago. She had fallen and broken her leg. We knew, of course, that no one dies from a broken leg. But her mending was slow and difficult—a difficulty that, blessedly, foreshadowed her death. One blessing was that I knew I needed to spend more time with her, to share with her, to listen more closely. Another blessing was the niggling sense that I should be asking some tough questions: Where is that burial plot you and Dad purchased years ago? Where is the paperwork? What kind of funeral service do you want to have? Who should we call for help winding up your estate—an attorney, a financial advisor, your insurance agent? With the answers to these questions jotted down in a notepad, my siblings and I were margin- ally prepared for the dawn of Mom’s passing. We didn’t find the paperwork for the cemetery plot; it wasn’t where she thought she had filed it.W e were awash in a sea of decisions and telephone calls, each of which needed to be made in the first day or two. And we were in shock, moving into unfamiliar, Mom-less territory. With this experience as a backdrop, I began to get my own affairs in order. I started the process with one goal in mind: Creating a planner to make my death far less burdensome for my daughters. I wanted to provide some direction, reducing their confusion in the first hours, days, and weeks.Y et, as the process unfolded, I found that helping my children was only the first of three benefits. The second benefit was that, when documenting information, organizing materials, and making end-of-life arrangements, I was often thinking of my own eventual death. As sad as that made me, I soon moved on, taking with me this truth: Facing the certainty of death generates a freedom to live life more fully. I am less fearful about death and more joyful about life. I am increasingly aware of the precious moments that I have been given—and of the finite nature of that grant. Living out my days as though each might be my last is a wake-up call, a call to be more fully aware of each day. Living each of my remaining days with attention and appreciation is an enor- mous challenge—and a marvelous gift. The third benefit was a simple one: a bounty of relief and satisfaction at having my affairs in order. Despite my innate tendency to organize, I found that my portfolio—birth certificate to retirement benefits to final arrangements—was a thing of beauty. Never before had my insur- ance policies been gathered in one location—including even the accident policy offered with my major credit card. The process of pulling together my documents, information, and wishes has helped me to feel informed, up to date, and in control of my affairs. I share with you this process: • to reduce the eventual, inevitable burden on your loved ones • to help you experience the freedom of facing your mortality, addressing unfinished business, and valuing your days, and • with the hope that you will enjoy the satisfaction of organizing your affairs. May you find direction, organization, and a certain freedom in the process of creating your planner. Ultimately, may your loved ones find direction, solace, and love in the planner that you leave behind. Table of Contents About This Book Who Needs to Plan Ahead? ...................................................................................................2 How It Works ................................................................................................................................3 Help Along the Way ..................................................................................................................4 Completing Your Planner What the Planner Contains ...................................................................................................6 Seven Steps to Preparing Your Planner ...........................................................................8 After You Finish Your Planner ........................................................................................... 12 Letter to Loved Ones 1 Tips for Writing Your Letter ............................................................................................... 14 Where to Get Help .................................................................................................................. 17 In Your Planner .......................................................................................................................... 17 Keeping Your Letter Up to Date ...................................................................................... 18 Instructions 2 In Your Planner .......................................................................................................................... 21 Keeping Your Documents Up to Date ........................................................................