THE WHITE ALLY TOOLKIT WORKBOOK USING ACTIVE LISTENING, EMPATHY, AND PERSONAL STORYTELLING TO PROMOTE RACIAL EQUITY BY DAVID W. CAMPT, PHD THE WHITE ALLY TOOLKIT WORKBOOK USING ACTIVE LISTENING, EMPATHY, AND PERSONAL STORYTELLING TO PROMOTE RACIAL EQUITY ADVANCE EDITION RELEASED FOR THE APRIL 2018 WHITE PRIVILEGE CONFERENCE GRAND RAPIDS, MI BY DAVID W. CAMPT, PHD The White Ally Toolkit Workbook: Using Active Listening, Empathy, and Personal Storytelling to Promote Racial Equity Copyright © 2018 by David W. Campt. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, please contact the publisher. I AM Publications (617) 564-1060 [email protected] www.iampubs.com Printed in the United States of America Advance Edition, 2018 ISBN: 978-1-943382-02-6 IN APPRECIATION Anyone on a journey through diffculties needs allies. It is important to pause to directly express thanks for the special kind of support that many folks have given so this workbook could come to be: To Mike Novogratz and Katie Weitz, for giving the resourceful guidance that forward thinking philanthropists can; To Lucky Lynch, Paige Eaves, Judith Mowry, Sybil Madison, and Ivan Cutler, for picking up the phone now and then and being the cheerleaders vitally needed so that a vague and fuzzy vision could become something concrete; To Mike Barney, Monica Butler, Lisa Thompson, and Beth Castle for the reminders of the value of emotional support; To Theo Brown and McCrae Parker, for being willing to talk about the intricacies of dialogue repeatedly and well into the early morning; To Ngozi Robinson and Matthew Freeman, who each exquisitely combine the central roles of thought partners and “do” partners; To caregivers Steven Neal, Mary Chatman, Margaret Stewart, and Willie Walker, whose teamwork in allyship in parental caregiving was essential in creating a year with the least number of nights in the hospital as any in the past half-decade; To Vietta and Arnai Johnson, whose perseverance through trials is one of many reminders of the need of discipline, focus, and the never ending need for keeping an calm eye on the prize; To James and Geraldine Campt, whose amazing positivity still fuels, and whose lessons about the importance of good communication have driven my lifelong passion for dialogue And fnally, to all who serve humanity by actively being spending their precious human energy on causes bigger than their own. TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION I APPROACH OF THE ALLY CONVERSATION TOOLKIT I USING THIS WORKBOOK IX PART 1: WHITE ALLIES….KNOW THYSELF 1 WHITE ALLY PRIORITIES RANKING TOOL 3 WHY WHITE ALLIES MUST TAKE OVER THE WORK OF “WOKING” 9 ALLY LISTENING SELF-ASSESSMENT INSTRUMENTS 18 CREATING YOUR LISTENING BEST PRACTICES TOOL 38 THE WHITE ALLY RESPONSE ASSESSMENT TOOL 44 PART 2: USING THE RACE METHOD TO ENGAGE RACISM DENIAL 57 THE RACE METHOD – AN OVERVIEW 58 HOW THE MODULES ARE EXPLAINED 80 COMBATING RACISM DENIAL – THE MODULES 87 MODULE 1: “RACISM MEANS HAVING INTENTIONALLY NEGATIVE VIEWS OF OTHER GROUPS. SO IF I DON’T HAVE CONSCIOUS NEGATIVE INTENT, I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING RACIST.” MODULE 2: “NOWADAYS, THERE ARE VERY FEW ADVANTAGES TO BEING WHITE. I AM NOT ‘PRIVILEGED”. MODULE 3: “VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE CONSCIOUSLY RACIST ANYMORE.” MODULE 4: “SLAVERY AND SEGREGATION WERE A LONG TIME AGO. WE SHOULD NOT TALK ABOUT THEM ANYMORE AND JUST MOVE ON.” MODULE 5: “THE ECONOMIC PROBLEMS OF PEOPLE OF COLOR ARE PRIMARILY DUE TO THE BAD CHOICES THAT THEY MAKE.” MODULE 6: “IF PEOPLE OF COLOR WOULD JUST ACT PROPERLY, LAW ENFORCEMENT WOULD TREAT THEM FAIRLY.“ MODULE 7: “IT IS VITAL THAT AMERICA DRASTICALLY REDUCE THE LEVEL IMMIGRATION SO THAT WE CAN RETURN TO OUR CULTURAL GREATNESS.” MODULE 8: “THOSE ATHLETES AND OTHERS PROTESTING SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT THEY LIVE IN AMERICA AND SHOULD NOT DISRESPECT THE NATION AND THE FLAG BY KNEELING DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. “ PART 3: THE ALLY COACHING CURRICULUM 171 THE PRIMER - KEY CONCEPTS ON INTERPERSONAL RACISM 172 RACIAL ISSUES – THE COLLECTIVE CONCEPTS 183 OTHERING UNCONSCIOUS BIAS ATTRIBUTION ERROR RACIAL ANXIETY UNEARNED RACIAL ADVANTAGE (COMMONLY CALLED WHITE PRIVILEGE) RACIAL THREAT RACIAL BACKLASH AND RACIAL DENIAL INSTITUTIONAL RACISM STRUCTURAL RACISM RACIAL INEQUITY/RACIAL EQUITY PART FOUR: ODDS AND ENDS 227 PAST EXPERIENCES OF PEOPLE TRYING TO INFLUENCE EACH OTHER 230 CONTINUUM OF RETORTS 233 SHAME: DOES IT AFFECT YOUR WORK AS AN ALLY? 235 CHOOSING SKEPTICS TO ENGAGE 238 CREATING AN INFORMAL ALLY PRACTICE GROUP 242 CREATING FORMAL PRACTICE GROUPS WITH A FACILITATOR 245 USING INSIGHTS ABOUT CONSERVATIVE AND LIBERAL MORAL FRAMEWORKS AND ORIENTATIONS 246 WHY ANTI-RACIST PROGRESSIVES NEED TO SUPPORT CONSERVATIVES 253 CLOSING ENCOURAGEMENTS 257 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES 267 Don’t be in such a hurry to condemn a person because he doesn’t do what you do, or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today. – Malcolm X INTRODUCTION PURPOSE OF THIS WORKBOOK For too long, the call for an “honest dialogue about race” has been thought about as a conversation between white folks and people of color (POC). As important as that conversation is, the idea behind this workbook is that some progress on race relations is best achieved through conversation among white people. According to public opinion polls in 2017, about 55% of white people think that racism against white people is as big of a societal problem as racism against people of color. Unless white public opinion is shifed, it will be diffcult to create initiatives that address the signifcant problems related to racial equity. The goal of the project this workbook springs from - Ally Conversation Toolkit, or ACT - is to fip this 45/55 split by 2025. For this to occur, many things are needed, such as better articulation about racism from diverse political and corporate leaders, better messaging about race in mass and social media, and more sophisticated talk about race in our education systems, to name just a few. What is also needed is more and more effective one-on-one conversation between white people who know that racism is a special burden on the lives of people of color and the more than half of whites who think that racism affects every group equally. It would be neither fair nor feasible for POC to carry the burden of having these conversations. There are not enough POC - or alternatively, there are too many white folks – for that to work. And POC are increasingly fatigued by educating white people; they are already dealing with the additional burden of actually coping with racism. Of course, some of that educational work by POCs to whites is much needed; open-minded white folks need to hear the stories from POCs about what racism looks like in modern day America. It is time to shif some of the burden of educating racism denying white folks away from POCs and on to people who might be considered white comrades in the fght against racism. This workbook and the ACT project is based on the idea that allies to a manifestation of societal oppression (i.e. and “ism”, like racism, sexism, or homophobia) need to community in a very mindful way in order to have The White Ally Toolkit Workbook i INTRODUCTION effective conversations with others who are slao not direct targets of that “ism.” (To clarify, when the “ism” in question is racism, the work of the Ally Conversation Toolkit is ofen referred to as the White Ally Toolkit). To do that, these white folks need to prepare for these conversations by doing some refective work of their own – by themselves, in groups with other like-minded white people, and preferably both. This workbook oo many white folks readily talk will help with about “checking their privilege” that refective T work. In to their POC friends and other whites addition, white people who are “wokE” without having the who think long, slow, frustrating, and socially anti-POC racism risky series of conversations with matters also need to have a their Cousin Hannah or Uncle conversational Tristan (to use a couple of white strategy for discussing names) who don’t think racism racism that is designed against people of color is real. to counter the tendency to deny racism exists. To put it directly, white people who care about addressing racism need to learn how to do a version what people of color have been doing for centuries, which is code switching. This term refers to a practice of speaking differently in different settings in order to increase one’s effectiveness. The approach to discussing racism in such a conversations with those who are not like-minded about racism needs be done to be very differently than the way racism is discussed in settings where people have a shared understanding that racism exists. This workbook is designed to foster the deep refective internal work that is needed, to describe a strategy for this code switching, and to give guidance about how to apply it in a variety of situations. ii The White Ally Toolkit Workbook INTRODUCTION White allies need to be much more serious about the how they view the work of having effective conversations with people who deny racism than many of them are now. In the view of this project, it is not enough to go to white ally meetings, or to work with people of color on institutional change.