Overheards Printed 75 Overheards Judged Too Consumed at Over 100
Total Page：16
File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb
THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE Vol. VII No. 2 SECOND BIRTHDAY ISSUE 6 June 2007 IN CREATING THE CHRONICLE Some statistics from our first two years. There have been… 21 issues published 74,272 views of the intranet editing site 4,600 copies distributed around College 1666166 Overheards printed 75 Overheards judged too scandalous to be printed over 300,000 words published 897 intranet editing pages created 27 dons contributing letters or articles over 140 boys contributing letters or articles 24,840 sheets of A3 Character paper used over 1,000 cups of tea and coffee consumed at over 100 Editors’ meetings 21 Polls carried out (2 too ground-breaking for publication) 8 episodes of A Tutor’s Diary leaked and serialised 9 Social wwStereotypes pinned down 2 crests discovered in the Archives that have never been used before 45 original drawings hhcommissioned from Radleians… and we hope you have enjoyed reading it too. – – — INSIDE — – – A Poll – page 30 • Social Stereotype – page 31 • The Warden’s Music – page 32 • The Shells in Normandy – page 40 Diary of a Marathon Runner – page 38 • Social Barbeques – page 52 • Correspondence – page 56 and much more… 6 June 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE A POLL ON ELECTIONS OVERHEARD… (1) We asked about 80 from the Sixth Form across all A regular column devoted to memorable lines from all Socials to find out how politically up-to-date they are. quarters of College. To celebrate our birthday we publish a double helping of Overheards this time. 1. Were you aware that there were Presidential Elections in France recently? Overheard during Cocoa, trying to answer questions Yes: 96%, No: 4% for chocolate: 2. Do you know who the new President of France is? Tutor: ‘Which of the American presidents have I met?’ Yes: 80%, No: 20% Boy: ‘…er, Lincoln?’ 3. What kind of party does he/she represent? Overheard in social: Right: 68%, Left 20%, Don’t know: 12% Boy A: ‘I’ve never been to a charity shop before.’ 4. Where you aware that there were elections to the Boy B: ‘Oh, but you must! They’re great for tweed...’ Scottish Parliament recently? Yes: 85%, No: 15% Overheard in social: 5. Which party has the most seats in the Scottish Shell: ‘I am not sure if I like Radley: at prep school I Parliament now? was a big fish in a small pond; here I am a big fish in a Conservative: 9%, big pond.’ Labour: 13%, Overheard during a rowing outing: Lib Dem: 11%, Scottish Nationalist: 61%, Cox: ‘Come on guys! We are all in, er.... the boat’! Don’t know: 6% Overheard in a Chronicle Editors’ meeting: 6. Can you name the new First Minister of Scotland? Yes: 56%, No: 44% Don: ‘We need to make our articles more appealing to the average illiterate Remove’ 7. Can you name the new First Minister of Northern Ireland? Overheard in social: Yes: 53%, No: 47% Shell: ‘How often does The Week come out?’ 8. Do you think it matters that there could soon be a Scottish Prime Minister? Overheard in an English lesson: Yes: 48%, No: 52% Boy A: ‘Miss, I’ve got something to show you!’ 9. Are you Scottish? Boy B: ‘Oh, Miss, can I show you mine first?’ Yes: 16%, No: 76%, Half Scottish: 8% Overheard in the Classics Department, discussing 10. Do you think that Scotland should be fully Prince Harry going to Iraq: independent of the rest of the United Kingdom? Boy: ‘But sir, I wouldn’t get an entire unit dedicated to Yes: 70%, No: 30% hunting me down in Iraq.’ Unsurprisingly (due to the media attention) almost Don: ‘Yes you would, I’ve got contacts – I’d just have everyone was aware of the important elections in to ring them up.’ France and Scotland, but then anyone who has looked Overheard on a Saturday evening in a Tutor’s kitchen: at the cover of a broadsheet this term would know that. Only two thirds, though, knew that Sarkozy was the Boy: ‘24 beers in the box. 24 hours in the day. rightwing candidate. What surprises more than the Coincidence? I think not.’ French elections is the embarrassingly few who knew about the elections on our doorstep. The number of Overheard over Leave Away, on the subject of taking political anoraks who could supply the names Sarkozy, blood: Salmond and Paisley was encouraging (and they can’t Boy A: ‘Why don’t you just put lycheeses on him?’ all be taking Politics A level). Boy B: ‘Do you mean leeches?’ Slightly inconsistent is the discovery that 70% believe Please keep sending us (printable) quotes – to that Scotland should be independent but only 48% [email protected]. think there should be a Scottish PM. Perhaps we should have asked if they knew who exactly that could be… 30 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 6 June 2007 SOCIAL STEREOTYPES An ongoing series of recognizable Radley characters who may be lurking in a Social near you… 9. THE THEATRE TECHIE Alastair has brought a mini-fridge into the lighting box performance. He lounges in a black leather Conductor to keep him going during the gruelling nine-hour 5000 (Alastair borrows this from the Precentor’s technical rehearsal, although it’s stuffed with nothing office; the poor man has no idea where his chair goes more stimulating than Coke and Red Bull. Sipping for days on end) and sips a Red Bull on the rocks, thoughtfully he laments, ‘I mean, it would really help bored speechless as he watches the amateurs holding if those amateurs in the Social plays had actually their scripts and trying to remember their lines... ‘In looked at their scripts...’ The Shells helping with the my technical rehearsal?’ sound and lighting wind him up as well: ‘Can I know Eventually even he becomes impatient. His armoury of the code?’ they pester him, ‘What does this button denials to their last-minute requests – ‘No, I can’t light do?’ Naturally, he knows all the answers, but they are there because I haven’t got any more channels’... ‘No, his secrets… because you didn’t tell me you had a war scene with Alastair is the mastermind behind every play in three bi-planes, a machine gun and a gramophone in College; indeed, as he sees it, he props up the entire the background...’ – is formidable. He could probably Drama department. He runs the Theatre practically on manage all of those things but, to be honest, Alastair his own, and takes advantage of the fact that no-one just can’t be bothered. He enjoys his power in this else apart from Matt knows anything about it. domain over everyone and, after all, it is only a social Alastair’s New Theatre has play. grown up with him – the On the night of the foundations were laid when performance Alastair is in he was a Shell – and it is now his trademark light grey very much his baby. He suit which Mummy has doesn’t admit to how much specially dry-cleaned for work on top of all the him. Two minutes too rehearsals that this infant soon the audience demands, but it’s a suddenly goes quiet for no displacement activity, you reason, but he waits out see. He’s much happier in the the long and giggly box, a world away from silence; the Remove at the Mocks, music practice, back who ‘shhhhed’ the preps, deadlines, rowing, his auditorium is looking Tutor… all breathing down increasingly self- his neck and threatening to conscious. Finishing the disrupt the serene order of dregs of his can and his technical kingdom. swivelling professionally His fingers fly over the dials to the mic desk, Alastair and faders with the takes great pleasure in confidence and sensitivity of starting the performance a concert pianist, and usually illustration by Arthur Laidlaw (H) when he’s ready and not he doesn’t even need the script. Even in his free time, before. Everything goes smoothly from his point of he heads over to rig the latest requests weeks in view. The acting, of course, is dire. advance of the next social play. In excessively boring But it’s not over yet: the Tutor leaps athletically onto Chemistry lessons he designs integrated sound and the stage, crushing a £250 footlight with a suede boot lighting boards littered with thousands of knobs and as he does so. Alastair’s head sinks into his hands with buttons. He constantly complains that the current a moan. The Tutor’s speech turns out to be longer than board is simply ‘not professional’, and that it is the first act but, as usual, there’s no mention of the absolutely essential to buy a brand new £26,500 one. technical crew. ‘We don’t do this job for the thanks,’ The Bursar has seen straight through this argument: he he says with a grin to Minion no. 2 at the lighting desk well knows that prospective parents are never shown (he kept meaning to ask what that Shell’s name was). round the lighting box; 32-inch plasma screens in the DT Department get the money instead. Locking the box on his way out he stoops to pick up a crumpled piece of paper and stares, perplexed, at the It’s now the technical rehearsal of the I Social Play, It back page. After performing his play in his Theatre, Ain’t Half Hot, Mum!, just three days before the they didn’t put his name in the programme. 31 6 June 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE THE WARDEN’S MUSIC SUNDAY 13 MAY, SILK HALL When the Chronicle’s Music Editor collared me on the best.