May, 2008 VOLUME XXXVIII No
Total Page：16
File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb
SANTA ANA, CALIFORNIA May, 2008 VOLUME XXXVIII No. 5 Better Than I Deserve I started drinking the summer before I started going to high school. I was at a friend’s house and we had been waiting all night to get some booze. By the time it got there I had to be Inside this issue: home. But I drank anyway. So I drank these two 40s very 1, 2 quickly and started skateboarding home. I remember the sky Better Than I Deserve seemed bluer that night and I had this overwhelming sense that Chapter 4—We Agnostics 3 I was going to be ok for the first time in my life. Twelve Thoughts on Sponsorship 3 It didn’t take me long until I was getting loaded daily. It 4 became more important than most things very quickly. I Step Five dropped out of school my first semester to go to a home school My Favorite Meeting 4 type program. My reasoning for doing this was so school Tradition Five 5 wouldn’t get in the way of drinking. My aunt even offered to 5 pay for me to go to a private school. I Speaker Meetings turned her down; I knew the school did a What’s Happening 6 drug test. So that chance vanished. Public Information—District 5 6 As time went on, I needed to drink 6 more and earlier. A few years went by, Central Office Activity and there were no major problems. On Meeting Changes 7, 9 the 4 th of July, 2000, I drank more than I Group Contributions 8, 9 had ever drunk before. I had to be home 9 at 11 o’clock that night. My parents no A Farewell Letter longer trusted me. Normally, I would go Sharon’s Story/Who Am I? 10 home quickly say goodnight to my mom Birthdays/Web Statistics 10 and go to bed. This night I decided I 11 wanted to talk. She very quickly realized I had been drinking. Call Forwarding/Income & Expense Report She took me to my friend’s house and started yelling at my Recovery Acrostic/We Are Not a Glum Lot 12 friends and telling them that I would never come over there again. My friends didn’t care. They just wanted us to leave. I was grounded for a while, and started sneaking out in the mid- ORANGE COUNTY CENTRAL OFFICE dle of the night to get drunk. 1526 Brookhollow, Suite 75 Later that summer, I flew to my dad’s house as I normally (Mailing address: 1526 E. Warner, Suite 75) did. My dad by this time had become a drinking buddy. He Santa Ana, California 92705 showed me how to get rid of a hangover. So I started drinking Phone (714) 556-4555 in the mornings and all throughout the day. Fax: (714) 556-7231 My mom found out how much I was drinking. As a result E-mail: [email protected] my mom took me to family counseling. We only went once Website: www.oc-aa.org because I quickly got the counselors on my side. The next few Office hours Mon-Fri 9:00 AM-9:00 PM months I put my family through hell. I started running away Sat 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM and going into youth shelters. Finally, my mom put me in an South County Office: 27281 Las Ramblas, Ste.135 out-patient place. Two weeks after arriving there, they asked Mission Viejo 92691 me to leave because my drug/alcohol level was higher than Phone: (949) 582-2697 when I came in. This led me to run away again. I stole some Fax: (949) 582-2611 money from my mom and slept in the shed of my friend’s back E-mail: [email protected] yard. Surviving off fifty-cent chips and salsa from a local taco Hours: Mon-Fri 10:00AM to 5:00 PM shop I wondered how my life ended up like this. Four days before Christmas, I walked out of a movie store The Orange County Intergroup Association Meeting and came to from a black-out to alarms sounding. I realized I Wednesday, May 14th at 7:00 PM was stealing a movie. Two clerks came outside and started Kaiser Hospital, 6670 Alton Parkway @ Sand Canyon, Irvine following me. I thought to run, but I couldn’t, so they shuffled The meeting will be held in the MOBII ( New Building 5th Floor) Rooms ASN-5209 + 5210 Continued on page 2 Page 1 Continued from page 1 me back inside. The police showed up, as well as my mom. The police took me to the station to fingerprint me and my mom took me to the hospital. On the way to the hospital my mom said, “I can’t do this anymore, Ben. Every time the phone rings I think it’s the morgue telling me to come identify the body.” I didn’t want to do this to my mom; I always wanted to be a good son. I had dreams of getting good grades, doing loving things, and taking care of her when she was old. But my selfishness took those dreams away. The next morning I got into a fist fight with my father. There was a restraining order over Christmas. I stayed at a friend’s house. My mom wanted to see me Christmas morning, but she asked me to come sober. I did. That morning I either didn’t get what I wanted or she said something I didn’t want to hear and I started breaking things in her home and pushing her around. The police came shortly after and told me to leave, Compliments of www.recoverycartoons.com that I didn’t belong there. So I left and went to a grocery store and stole two bottles of booze, went behind the store and sat on an abandoned couch. That morning was the first time alco- Life isn’t tied with a bow, hol didn’t do what I needed it to do. I thought about suicide. I wondered whether I was sane or not. For the next two weeks I but every day is still a gift. continued to try to make alcohol work. I got sober on January 12, 2001. I was placed in a treat- ment facility that took us to meetings of Alcoholics Anony- mous. When I first got there, I was full of fear and had bouts of ORANGE COUNTY INTERGROUP SERVICE BOARD rage. They told me to get a sponsor. I asked a few people. They all said “I’m too busy” or “I have too many already.” Chair, Frank M. ●Vice Chair, John P. Then a woman who I respect a great deal pointed at a man and Treasurer, Ken S. ●Secretary, Beth E. said, “Why don’t you ask him?” Andy was just leaving. so I Central Office, Dave M. walked outside. He was standing two steps lower than I was, and I’m about 6 inches taller than him. But for whatever rea- Who? What? When? Where? son he seemed taller than me that night. I asked him, “Will you be my sponsor?” He didn’t say, “Call me tomorrow and we’ll Public Relations Committee, Nick N. talk.” He asked me, “Are you willing to go to any lengths for Meets the 3rd Wednesday of the month at 6:30 pm Group Relations Committee, Carlos T. victory over alcohol?”, and for the first time I said, “Yes,” and Meets the 4th Wednesday of the month at 7:00 pm I was willing to do whatever he asked. Lifeline Committee, Bill W. As a result of the twelve steps and twelve traditions of Meets the 1st Thursday of the month at 7:00 pm Alcoholics Anonymous, my life has completely changed. The Special Events Committee, Debbie M. men and woman of AA have shown me a way of life I had Meetings scheduled as needed never felt I could live. The relationships that have occurred H & I Committee, Nick M. over the last seven years have been amazing. When I was Meets the 2nd Sunday of the month at the Garden Grove Alano new, there was a man who always told me his life was better Club. Institutions meet at 4:00 pm; Hospitals meet at 6:00 pm. South than he deserved. For a while I didn’t understand that and it Orange County H & I meets at the Laguna Beach Canyon Club the 3rd Wednesday of the month at 7:30 pm. frustrated me. Finally one day I asked what he meant. He said, “For all the people I’ve hurt, mistakes I’ve made, my life With the exception of H & I, the above committees meet at is better than I deserve.” I have come to believe that for my- Central Office, 1526 Brookhollow, Suite 75, Santa Ana, CA 92705. self, today. If you are interested in serving on a committee or would like more information please contact the above or Central Office at Ben F., Tustin 714-556-4555. Your service is appreciated! To Carry the Message of Orange County H & I South Orange County H & I nd Alcoholics Anonymous to On the 2 Sunday of the month 3rd Wednesday of the month , 7:30 pm the Alcoholic who is Garden Grove Alano Club, 714-534-2244 Laguna Canyon Club, 949-497-1823 9845 Belfast Drive, Garden Grove, CA 20456 Laguna Canyon Rd., Laguna Beach confined in a Hospital or For additional info call 714-979-8524 Institution Or Central Office: 714-556-4555 Page 2 curably stupid, I realized that it was the sum total of all the Chapter 4 -We Agnostics work that would bring about what I was searching for.