University of New Hampshire University of New Hampshire Scholars' Repository Doctoral Dissertations Student Scholarship Fall 1997 Bodily discourses: When students write about sexual abuse, physical abuse, and eating disorders in the composition classroom Michelle Marie Payne University of New Hampshire, Durham Follow this and additional works at: https://scholars.unh.edu/dissertation Recommended Citation Payne, Michelle Marie, "Bodily discourses: When students write about sexual abuse, physical abuse, and eating disorders in the composition classroom" (1997). Doctoral Dissertations. 1978. https://scholars.unh.edu/dissertation/1978 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Scholarship at University of New Hampshire Scholars' Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Doctoral Dissertations by an authorized administrator of University of New Hampshire Scholars' Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. 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BODILY DISCOURSES: WHEN STUDENTS WRITE ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE, PHYSICAL ABUSE, AND EATING DISORDERS IN THE COMPOSITION CLASSROOM BY MICHELLE MARIE PAYNE BA, Miami University, 1987 MA Florida State University, 1990 DISSERTATION Submitted to the University of New Hampshire in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy in English September, 1997 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. UMI Number: 9807563 Copyright 1997 by Payne, Michelle Marie All rights reserved. UMI Microform 9807563 Copyright 1997, by UMI Company. All rights reserved. This microform edition is protected against unauthorized copying under Title 17, United States Code. UMI 300 North Zeeb Road Ann Arbor, MI 48103 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED c 1997 Michelle Marie Payne Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. This dissertation has been examined and approved. _ CL . ^u JJs \ZT x a a J Dissertation Director, Patricia A. Sullivan, Associate Professor of English C j O b U ______________ Cinthia Gannett, Associate Professor of English Melody Gragjich, Professor of English Thomas Newkirk, Professor of English Paula Salvio. Assistant Professor of Education Date J y LJ Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. DEDICATION To the students whose work has guided me and the students who will continue to remember their battered bodies through language. iv Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS In 1993 after I had completed my doctoral exams, I ruffled through the scraps of paper in the maniila folder I had labelled "Dissertation Ideas" in hopes of discovering a subject that compelled and intrigued me enough that I could live with it for a few years. I passed over the yellow page with "sexual abuse essays"scribbled on it. Instead, I began a more general bibliographic search on writing and madness, then turned to issues of student resistance and apathy. While these both engaged my curiosity, I still felt ambivalent. One day as I was talking with one of my professors, Cindy Gannett, I expressed some despair that I couldn't focus on a subject—and I was running out of time. "Michelle," she said. "you can't see it right now, but you will. It's clear to many of us, and when you're ready it will seem so obvious." Later that day my husband, also a composition doctoral student, said the same thing. I knew I was resisting the subject of abuse as a research project. Having already written and presented research on students' sexual abuse essays, I wasn't sure 1 wanted my sense of identity wrapped up in issues of bodily violence—I had struggled for several years to conceive of myself as more than a survivor or a victim, and to focus my professional identity around these issues seemed too . narrow? dangerous? Whatever the reason. I was reluctant to pursue this study. Not until I began wondering about the historical discourses that "populate" the ways of writing about abuse and eating disorders (sparked b\ Bahktin) did I seriously consider proposing this study. Abigail Abbot Bailey's memoirs and the current theories on discourse, power, and the teaching of writing all prompted me to "see" this project in ways I had not before. And so I was ready. I could not have imagined Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. how fulfilling, engaging, and powerful this project would become, nor how much I would learn (and continue to learn) from the students and teachers who were so willing to participate. The writing staff at the University of New Hampshire was eager to talk with me about my study, and several instructors and teaching assistants gave freely of their time for interviews and informal conversations. They also asked me to present some of my research during a staff meeting, and the discussion we had, as well as the support and encouragement both implied and expressed, were vital to the thinking and writing of this dissertation. 1 cannot name them all, but 1 especially thank Bruce Bailenger, Pam Barksdale, Derek Brewer, Leslie Brown, Tim Dansdill, Brock Deither, Sara Dovre, Alice Fogel, Lucinda Garthwaite, Andrea Harkness, Lysa James, Carol Kountz, Jodi Labonte, Tamara Niedzolkowski, Laurie Quinn, Leaf Seligman, Linda Stewart, Barb Tindall, Sue Wheeler, Bronwvn Williams, among many others. They are a talented group o f teachers, committed to students, and sensitive to the complex dynamics of writing about such personal issues as bodily violence. I learned much from them and value the relationships we developed while I was at UNH. Many thanks. 1 dso thank the students who agreed to participate and took hours out of their schedules to talk with me and/or allowed me to observe their classes. I cannot name them, but without them, this project would not have happened. Their courage and insights direct this work, their voices always reminding me to listen. To the students in my Writing About Female Experience course at Florida State University—their choice of topics to organize that course and the essays of three of those vi Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. students made this dissertation conceivable and "visible" to me. To my closest friends, who helped me untangle ideas, make connections, battle my self-doubt and manage my stress. They helped me care for my body and soul with walks on Long Sands Beach, coffee at the MUB or Cafe Brioche, long talks on the phone, and many hugs and tissues when I needed to cry. To the Dissertation Readying Group at UNH who read many drafts of chapters and provided deadlines and a sense of community I needed. They were excellent readers, and Dr. Sue SchibanofFa wonderful guide and mentor for us all. My thanks, then, to friends and reading group members: Rick Agran. Jennifer Beard, Greg Bowe, Susan Bradbury Clay, Gay Lynn Crossley. Gretchen DiGeronimo, Molly Doyle, Mary Hal let, Andrea Harkness, Deborah Hodgkins, Elisa Hopkins, Dot Kasik, Carol Keyes, Anne Malone, Erica Olbreicht. Kathe Simons, Lisa Sisco (who read many drafts and helped me make a number of connections), and Lisa Stepanski. To the librarians at Rye Public Library—Mamie Tracey. Kathleen Teaze, Jennifer Sanbom. Tricia Quinn, Wendy Palmer, Stefania Metalious, Pam Jautaikis. Sharon Holsapple. Susan Brough-who found many articles and books I needed and became such an important community to both me and my husband, their colleague. To the staff at King Library of Miami University, Ohio, and at Dimond Library of UNH. To the secretaries in the English Department at UNH—Tory Poulin, Heather Robbins, and Chris Ransom, all of whom helped over the years in more ways than I can name. Chris in particular, as Graduate Secretary, scheduled all my meetings answered many of my questions. To Chuck Anderson, who edited the article version of Chapter 3 to make it more vii Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. concise, focused, and organized, and who convinced me (along with Marian McCurdy), to publish with their text and get the rest of my work out. Chuck has been a tremendous mentor.