Off-My- ' Issue EXTRA DISTANCE INHIS DRIVES

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Off-My- ' Issue EXTRA DISTANCE INHIS DRIVES-.. EXTRAS INHIS CIGAR ETTE

YES, LARRUPING LAWSON LITTLE - NATIONAL OPEN CHAMPION- PREFERS THE CIGARETTE THAT GIVES r THE "EXTRAS"- SLOWER-BURNING CAMELS

YOU WATCH that ball go scream- ing off the tee and you shake your head. How does he do it? Form, tim- FTURNED TO CAMELS ing, power, wrist action, control... FOR he has them all-but Lawson Little has that extra measure of each which EXTRA MADNESS makes the difference between a good AND FOUND SEVERAL golfer and a champion. Just as the EXTRASTOO extras in his cigarette... Camel... OTHER SWELL make the difference between smoking INCLUDING EXTRA SMOKING. and smoking pleasure at its best. SLOWER BURNING SURE IS THE TICKET FOR MILDNESS STEADY SMOKING COOLN ESS

FLAVOR

laboratory tests, CAMELS j slower than the average other of the largest-selling ted-slower than any of : means, on Copyright, 1940, R. J. Reynolds lohacco Co., Winston-Salem, N. C. the average, a 'us equal to WATCH OUT, PAR-here comes Little! No, Lawson Little is never content unless he can better par ... in his golf.... in his cigarette. "I want all the mildness I can get in my cigarette," he says. "Camels burn slower and give me extra rRA SMOKES mildness. And Camels also give me something else I never found before- flavor that doesn't tire my taste." Yes, Camels give all the qualities you want ER PACK! plus an extra measure of each. The extra flavor of costlier tobaccos preserved by slower burning. The natural mildness and coolness of costlier tobaccos plus freedom from the irritating qualities of too-fast burning. And on top of extra pleasure-Camelsgive extra value (see panel at right). SLOWER-BURNING CAMELS GET THE'EXTRAS".WITH j THE CIGARETTE OF COSTLIER TOBACCOS TI-It I0LhII0 WAII OCTOBER, 1940 Vol. XI. No. 2

DON HERALD LOY BAXTER Godfather Graduate Editor

BOB MEYER 9 Editor-in-Chief

EDITORIAL STAFF Ginger Austin Max Scherer BUSINESS STAFF Lucy Meyer BOB DOBBINS Babs Hoelocker Business Manager Betty Tuck Jim Wood Ed Ferrey Knight McKesson Jeanne Gifford Meyers Thompson Jerry Werber Gene Hollingsworth Elsie Chalafont Betty McBride Skinny Spencer Phyllis Knapp Knight McKesson Jane Tourner Betty Jane Prinz S. Joseph Hoffman Helen Marnan Doris Steinmetz Bob Rottiughaus Mae Louise Kohr Dorothy Everman

Copyright 1936 by the Bored Walk Publishing Co., Inc. Published monthly, nine times during the school year, from September to May inclusive by students of Indiana Uni- versity. "Entered as second class matter at Bloomington, Indiana, under the Act of March 3, 1879." Address: Bored Walk, Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana. Subscription rates, one dollar the year. Single copies, fifteen cents.

Dirge for the Khaki Youth By BOB MEYER

"There's a man outside, Major, who poisonous gas. He says this man can send wants to see you. He has a book that he our whole army into death and damnation thinks you should read." if we enter another war." "Send him away, Driscoll. You know I "Driscoll, you can't be bothered.with salesmen." fool! Get rid ofmhim! The man is crazy. Who does he think "He's not a salesman, Major. He's a this liter- minister. He wants to give you the book. He ary hero is, Frank Merriwell or Jesus Christ?" says that it's a story of a man who walked about the earth teaching countries peace in- "Yes, Sir, that's the name he mentioned, stead of warfare, using kind words instead of Major - Jesus Christ." *BEAT I 0W A! WELCOME OLD GRADS

MIC( Y 4Mc0uIRA 8RC/? KEM9 MoELLEIC. J/AMES T77QM6' E _

HOOSIER ROSTER - Name, Position, Number

7 Swihart, B 41 Bucchianeri, G 9 Zimmer, B. 42 Bragalone, G. 11 Kinsey, B . 43 Naddeo, C 14 Hardisty, B 44 Liscinsky, C 15 Myers, T. 46 Elliott, E 16 Brooks, B 47 Jurkiewitz, C 18 Rhoda, B 48 Steele, G. . 21 Smith, Ken, B- 50 Lewis, B 22 Tofil, B . 52 White, Gene, G 23 Smith, Wm., G. 53 Harris, E...... 24 Hursh, B .. 54 Gahm, C. 25 Evans, T ._... 57 Dumke, Ray, B 27 Swaim, E 59 Ronzone, B...... 28 Gerstenhaber, B. 62 Rucinski, Al, B.....-. * 29 Doloway, B-...... -..-... 64 Ricketts, G...... 30 McGurk, G ....-...... 65 Moeller, C ...... 31 Nash,E_....-.. ... _ 67 McGuire, B ...... 32 Bassett, E...... - 68 Martin, T

34 Williams, G ..----.... -.-. 69 Trimble, T...... -- . 35 H uff, T ...... -...... ---. 70 Harrell, B...... 36 Rucinski, Eddie, E .-...... - 71 Lange, B. .:. -. 37 Preger, B...... 75 Rehm,T...... - . 38 Dumke, Mike, E.....--...-... 78 Sabol, T...... --.-- 39 Tipmore, B ...... _...... 79 Smith, Frank, T .... 40 White, Bob, B._...... - 80 Uremovich, T. ...-. ".. d ere is wat you Io °

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WAL[AC! Antique Rose Point Sir Christopher Rembrandt Stradivari STERLING This pipe you've just got to have. The "watch-case" top keeps the wind from tear- ing into the pipe-bowl and "emptying" it. Protects the briar (and your clothing) from

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Tune in UNCLE WALTER'S DOG HOUSE { " KAYWOODIE COMPANY Every Tuesday night-NBCRed network Rockefeller Center, Fifth Avenue, New York Prizesforyour "Dog House" experience COPR. 1940, KAYWOODIE COMPANY Bored Walk

THE TALK OF THE CAMPUS

when she appeared in court against Boxell has written the book for The Notes and Comment Gene Markey, a man as gene-less as Jordan River Revue for the past two KENNETH T. DOWNS, International a YMCA leader at the Union record years. These boys are what can really News Service foreign correspondent hour. However, the story, even though be called "a team," likely aspirants to who spoke in Alumni hall on Wednes- it lost face for mankind through a the Hecht and McArthur fame of day, Oct. 2, held a capacity crowd en- male's inconceivable act of neglecting movie script writing. Johnson's name thralled with his first hand descrip- Hedy, brought great joy to the withered comes before Boxell because he claims tion of the fall of Paris as he himself and clandestine friars of the Daily to have bought 75% of the copy pa- saw it and covered it. Mr. Downs Student night desk whose emotions per. The play is a satire on the filth possessed a clipped delivery, a fidelity have been as regimented as a fresh- of the American stage, and concerns man on registration day. First, some a worn-out critic, Amelius Hunt, and years back, Betty Grable got married a worn-out playwright, Sam Quentin, and the mad monks felt their chances both of whom became worn out after, slipping. Then she was divorced and doing only one piece of work, that be- the lads felt again that life held some- ing some years back. Johnson denies thing in its promised treasure for that it is autobiographical. them. But Betty lost her appeal and Lana Turner hooked up with the tem- and accuracy, a sparkling hu- Poll-litical to truth peramental Artie Shaw and left a mor which he injected with restraint, trail of broken hearts trying to carry THE presidential political set-up has precinse choice of adjec- and a most on and turn out ten heads a day and taken a form reversal that would tives. With the possible exception of schedule them. Hedy, being married make a racing man call for the saliva one woman in row six, seat five, who to that poor sap Markey, left no fur- test, if the cross-section of college stu- knitting, every listener seemed to was ther ray of cheer. But now that the dents on the Bloomington campus is find this young reporter as demanding divorce has come, the D.S. lads are any barometer. And logically the col- of their attention as our local Daniel again on the prowl. Incidentally, lege student's mind represents a de- Webster, Bo McMillin. However, there Hedy's grounds for divorce were that fining indicator of a particular type is one pertinent point which, it seems, they "had only four quiet evenings at of voter's mind-the intelligent voter everyone noticed at the very beginning. home since they were married." All of who has formed his own opinion about The speech should not have been which brings to mind the divorce case the candidates sans influence of WPA titled "What Really Happened in excerted from a small town paper and bosses or honkey-tank soap box preach- France." For reputedly it was not what reprinted in Editor and Publisher a ers. In early September, the swing to- really happened. The facts were only few years ago. "Mrs. Lottie Prim was ward Wendell Willkie was like an what everyone knew happened by granted a divorce in Alvin county court avalanche, generally as well as locally. means of newspaper accounts early today when she testified that since Many students returned to the fall last summer. Mr. Downs added many she and her husband were married session with enthusiasm over the can- twists and sidelights into the situa- five years ago, they had only spoken didate who had psychologically swept tion, but the real issues were evaded together three times. Mrs. Prim was into the good graces of many by the by neatly labeling the causes as social, granted custody of the three children." appealing "swift-rise-of-the-dark-horse economical, military and technical. method. However, although many hes- However, according to a faculty mem- itate to do an about-face and condemn ber who is an authority on the subject, Bohemians in Hell! Mr. Downs has had the screws put to OVER AND ABOVE the usual line of him in this country. He is under pres- milarchy that the University the- much for one sure and cannot say too ater usually puts out - Shakespeare main reason-he wants to go back to and Eugene O'Neill - this year it can Europe. claim a new play which would capture the public interest in title alone, if Amour Cult not by the high repute of the writers. HE DAILY STUDENT came through Bob Johnson and Paul Boxell. The their companion, a greater number are recently with an AP wire story title concocted by these osmosis twins beginning to believe that Mr. Willkie which captured more male attention is "Bohemians in Purgatory," a fetch- is exploding too much, is too extreme than the annual Theta Sig Deep Pur- er if there ever was one. Johnson was in his opinions, or as many collegians ple script - the announcement that the winner of $500 last year for a express it "is shooting off his mouth Hedy Lamarr was granted a divorce winning play in a State-Wide contest. too much." This is not propaganda of all anecdotes is from Webb Miller's "I Found No Peace," which tells of the correspondent who, on an off day, wrote a feature story about a fabulous- ly rich baron on the Riviera who would invite his guest for a swim and give them bathing suits made from a dis- solving material. An American manufacturer who read of the fabric, wired the Paris bureau of the press associa- tion asking for a sample of this cloth. The bureau chief in turn wired his correspondent to send a sample. The poor reporter ,upon investigation found that the entire tale was mythical, and ashamed to admit his error, he wired- "Can't. Fabric would dissolve en route." The manufacturer was not so easily dismayed. He prepared a her- metically-sealed box and sent it abroad to receive the material safely. The correspondent was trapped. So he returned the air-tight box with a few handsful of crumpled breakfast cereal scattered in the bottom. The manufacturer was convinced.

Sans Diploma TWO years ago Indiana University held that rare species of intelligent minority who had absolutely no regard whatsoever for a diploma. He was strong enough in his convictions to carry them through-for a short time. The grand hoax that the diploma plays in education was exposed to his mind. After all, it is so foolish to labor "I wouldn't think of leaving this place, but I love to see them get all excited." at required courses, prescribed by of- ficials who know nothing of your pri- against Willkie. It is simply a state- A PLURALITY of books by foreign vate situation or need, in order to give ment of fact about campus opinion. correspondents has flowed upon you that document which is supposed Willkie's views may be right. He may the market recently, without doubt the to distinguish you above all others, who be wrong. Be that as it may, whether direct outgrowth of the situation in may be equally well educated but have he is the best man or not, many seem Europe or its indirect results. Most of not completed the regimented and to condemn his political methods of them are good. Some are poor imita- pedantic curriculum of the high gaining his end. They think he is over- tions, probably because they have been muckity-mucks. This lad was a sopho- doing it. To put it in understandable rushed in order to attract royalties more. He had gone to I.U. just long anecdote, his followers are often ac- while the crisis is still in his heat. enough to know what made it tick. So, tually embarrassed for him, much the However, none of the recent reportorial midway in his sophomore year, he same as one is embarrassed for a ham literature concerning this great war doped out a plan for going to college actor in a class B cinema, even though seems to reach the magnificance of free and still getting the education he the actor is a perfect stranger to the several autobiographical works turned desired - sans diploma. At second se- observer. This however, is only the out by correspondents several years mester enrollment, he faked a full trend in the college student's opinion. ago regarding much lesser situations course on the official enrollment card, There is also another class of voters- than the present one and lesser impor- all of courses he didn't want in the those that like Willkie's manner of tant wars. This statement is with the least. Then he went around to the "shooting off his mouth." It appeals exception of John Gunther's recent profs who handled the kind of stuff to the lower intellectual class as con- works, "Inside Asia" and "Inside Eu- he was interested in. "Say, Prof.," he fidence and conviction. This may be rope." However, Walter Duranty's "I would say, "I have a full course, but Willkie's method of controlling the Write As I Please," Webb Miller's "I I am interested in your class and largest number of voters. But if his Found No Place," and Negley Farson's would like to take it without credit, if views prove correct, his manner can "The Way of a Transgressor" seem to you don't mind. Just sit in on the lec- do not harm, many say in rationaliza- show the value of more preparation tures, you know." He did this to five tion for their trust in him. Also, there and time. They are packed with all profs for 15 hours' work, and attended is a growing attitude that he is the the magnitude of the modern, epical, school free. Only one thing went wrong lesser of two evils, the champ in this sweeping Cecil B. DeMille style in re- in his program - he found himself line being Franklin Delano. And then cent volumes, and contain in addition flunking those courses which he was there is always that quipster that cov- a pleasing, sweet, well-tempered sight taking without credit. So he went ers everything by asserting that he into humanism and philosophy and home. doesn't want Eleanor for a third term. humor that others lack. Most notable -R. M. Women's coiffures and hats were even more fantastic than today. Money PAGE OF THE PAST was free and so were the women. Bix Biederbecke and his immortal trumpet By MAX SCHERER roamed the campus, and Hoagy Car- michael was playing hot piano. There (EDITOR'S NOTE-Bored Walk has Some would say 'twas naught but were numerous campus luminaries, but long felt the need for a written, long- alcohol the campus "mad musicians" out- enduring record of some of the high- That fed their genius' flame, roared the Roaring Twenties. There lights in the informal history of Indi- But alcohol burns with a pale blue was Wad Allen, saxophonist supreme, ana University. And so, in the issue, light, brilliant student, writer and campus we preesnt the first in a series of 'Twas not so with their fame. humorist. There was Hoagy with his Pages of the Past. piano and Fergie of the Dandale with Many of the old-timers around the They blazed the sky with the scorch- his drums. But none outshone, in campus will remember the characters ing light brilliance or in boress, in music or in who figured in these monthly presen- That the touch of their brilliance madness, the King of the old Book tations. Perhaps some have cronded has; Nook bohemians, Bill Moenkhaus. with the boys when some of their They lived their lives for what they Wolfgang Beethoven Bunkhaus, he colorful history was painted. If any loved, was called-his sacred day was Tues- of the elder campusites read these ar- And they lived in the age of jazz. day, and his sacred number was nine, ticles in Bored Walk, and are not his sacred animal was the hog, and his ashamed to admit it, and they have sacred fruit the banana (one of which their ex- a personal anecdote among Every school has a history, but no he carried in his shirt for a week, say- periences which concerns the gallivan- school has a history more colorful, ing it soothed his nerves). tings of Pages of the Past's character, more exciting or more fascinating He was a superb classical musician, and are not ashamed to relate it, pleast than Indiana University's. and an incomparable jazz man. His do so. Help to build a chronicle his- genius and his love of boress have be- tory of Indiana University's lighter come legendary, and rare it is that his side that will put Good Ol' Siwash to escapades are exaggerated-they defy shame. And to many the most colorful era exaggeration. in our history was the 1920's - the Much needs be and will be written jazz age. The Bookstore was a brown about the Moenkhaus-Allen-Carmich- wooden building then. The Union ael clan, for they authored the bizarre building was an architect's drawing, and shining pages of the history of ODE TO A TORN and Indiana was famous for its Bored Indiana. WRENCH Walks. -MAX SCHERER

By *. Wolfgang Beethoven Bunkhaus Prof (in customary pre-exam- (From The Vagabond, ination speech) : "Now if I catch Dec., 1924 anyone talking during the test, I'll give him zero." * Student: "What will you give us if we don't talk ?" Nine years from now an un- Prof: "Nothing." broken door will swing forth * And eat soup out of a new moon. A cute young thing walked in- to a dress shop and asked to see And there will be no more some silk dresses. The saleslady lakes or saxophone lessons! tried to convince her that she should buy a woll dress, but to All will be in the University. no avail. Finally she asked, "But why do you insist on a One by one a cow goes by... silk dress?" "I'm tired of having the wool It is late and it will soon be pulled over my eyes !" over, * Then Tuesday is gone forever Into omnipotent obscurity. "Hello, is this the Fidelity In- surance Company ?" I have a boil. "Yes, madam." "Justwhat is it you don't like about "Well, I want to have my hus- our electric razor, sir?" band's fidelity insured." . .. AN ALL-CAMPUS ACCOUNT OF HOW THE NEXT ELECTIONS, PINNINGS AND DE-PIN- NINGS WILL GO! LATEST TABULATIONS SHOW: BORING S ACACIA FRATERNITY - keen on boresses and platonic friendships. President Wilhite, "Whiz", DELTA DELTA DELTA sorority -- house of Faster starts the year off right with advice to those keen boressers, Babs Hoelecker, Betty Jane the chapter. I quote. "Boys, there are three Campbell and Betty Harsh. These three had things we must watch in this house. Two I have pledge sister Vida Seaman send home for her mentioned before and the third is very serious. Hudson Bay blanket to wear for the first dance We must not have girls in the house because if of the Blanket Hop. Babs keeps the dorm in an we do before we realize it we'll have a mother." uproar with her nocturnally regular night-mares! Unquote. In all seriousness, Whiz meant a house- mother! DELTA GAMMA sorority - Mary Jane Straub, Y.W.C.A. prexy and roddess, has been seen in the ALPHA CHI OMEGA sorority - eager to keep basement of J. C. Penney's store trying on little the Sing cup harbored on the shelves of Alpha boys' jackets. It was later learned that she was Chi, but discouraged at a rather monotone group inquiring about jackets for members of Mortar of pledge voices. Board. Pretty pledges Margaret Antibus, Marge The cute blond pledge who is a senior but doesn't Hasbrook and Winnie Brown promise to keep the look - or act it - is Marjorie White of Indiana- social life of the sorority buzzing. polis. DELTA TAU DELTA fraternity - with practi- Then there's Marjorie, "Heddy", Buckmaster cally all the pins put out last year back again in among the new ones! their home position, the Delt boys plan a new campaign on female hearts.... or perhaps, they ALPHA - DELTA PI sorority catering this year will decide to contrast last year's "most pins out to their long-time tormentors, the Delta Upsilon on the campus" by becoming proverbial batche- men next door. A bit of poetry and thou! lors. With Burly Grimes in the The petite southerner, fraternity jewelry Helen Glenn, is their proc- business and Glen Rust giving away cigarettes to tor and a graduate of Mercer university, Macon, winners of the Phillip-Morris Ga. football scorecast, the brothers can't decide whether to put out jew- ALPHA OMICON PI sorority - trying to get all eled pins to accomodate Grimes or to stay home five fingers in a pie! Mary Jane Armstrong, rod- and smoke like made to accommodate Rust. dess, leads the "let's get our house into activities" campaign. DELTA UPSILON fraternity - Paul, Rip Van Winkle, Splittorff woke up enough to put his pin Home of D. Bacon Richardson, of Theta Chi fame. out on A. O. Pi Jeanice Bartling. Dwight Handley Helen Mae Snencer, transfer pledge with an ac- was quite surprised to see his pinee, Mary Susan cent, recently accepted the Acacia nin of Bob Stull, Theta roddess, dressed in a formal gown Straesser and was thrown in the pool in the in- awaiting him in the library the other night. The terior of the lodge as per custom! most newsy news of this excerpt it the fact that BETA THETA PI fraternity - all wearing their Handley was actually in the library! hair over their eyes this year. "All this and Beta too !" DELTA ZETA sorority - That comedy genius and roddess too, Jane Hudson, keeps a firm hand CHI OMEGA sorority -Pleiades prexy, Jane on the affairs of Delta Zeta. Kleinert, has returned the Delta Tau Delta badge of Frank Holt and is once again "foot-loose and fancy." Mary Francis Ferris, that cute little town pledge, is also causing several masculine hearts to palpitate. Helen Marnan keeps that smooth gent and Acacia, Ooc House, all to herself. These quad gals manage to get an edge in on everything! DELTA CHI fraternity - now that the smoke has blown over all is' okay between these boys and the Delta Gamma gals. It seems the "boys across the street" decided to serenade and after long vocalization with no receptive response, they came back home in a huff. Later the D.D.'s sent four cartons of cigarettes with an apology - they had been in fraternity meeting. ALPHA TAU OMEGA fraternity - under the reign of Bill Hunter, prexy, and the influence of Howdy Wilcox, social chairman, one can't under- stand why the frat brothers showed up at the Sigma Kappa house for a tea dance - one week in advance of the date set. I've been told these two leaders never get any place on time! "Who the hell threw that spitball?" PHI OMEGA sorority - Jane Bottorff ends her "unattached" days on the campus and accepts the c~y GINGER A US TIN Theta Chi pin of George Engelman - when seniors stroll about the campus holding hands, they are either very naise or very much in love. KAPPA ALPHA THETA sorority - Pledge Pep- PI BETA PHI sorority-smoothies in abundance! per Young keeps the entire house in a state of Since Barbara Bayless has returned the Sig Nu can think of turmoil all the time. How one girl pin of Jack McCormick, she doesn't know what to so much mischief, the Thetas have yet to find out! Prexy Marie Jeannette Turgi doesn't seem do with the sweater she has been knitting him to be pining the absence of her graduated Beta, since way back. . . . all men Jack's size are quali- Marvin Huffman. fied to apply for consideration! Vara Judd no They say the beauty of Virginia Wills, pledge, is longer is attached by pin, but being a senior something to behold - but it doesn't talk for her. hasn't made her stock any less valuable! KAPPA DELTA sorority - Pledges Mary Jane Lewis, Marietta Murphy and Marjorie Vogel bring SIGMA ALPHA EPSILON fraternity - if Frank new life to the portals of Kappa Delt. Thelma Far- Gregory can get his pin back from Hedy LaMarr, rington of the lovely voice is back singing her the glamour boy might be tempted to put it on way into every one's hearts . . . especially the lovely Kappa Phyllis Burge. Rod Eddie Hutton masculine ones. is back in school taking graduate work and more Katheryn Alexander, his Theta pinnee. Ed Fer- KAPPA KAPPA GAMMA sorority - minus sev- rey enjoys his midnight rides with Joey, "Paul eral queens who didn't return to school, but Revere" Reed, Kappa pledge, who possesses one developing several to replace them in their pledge streamlined Buick plus one streamlined chassis! class. .. . and I do mean Pat Failing, Betsy Wolfe and Mary Lou Ruthledge. SIGMA ALPHA MU fraternity - house of tall, dark and conscriptive gents. Herman Dicter now KAPPA SIGMA fraternity - led by prexy and in law school can no longer bear the extra-cur- campus rod No. 2, Marvin Miller. Efficient proc- ricula activities for the house, so recruits are be- tor system boasts the scholarship of the frat - ing trained. but it doesn't cut down any on Jim Fish's joing. SIGMA CHI fraternity - missing several boys LAMBDA CHI ALPHA fraternity - the squad who answered Uncle Sam's call-to-arms or just a of frat men practicing football on their spacious call-to-arms. Bill and Bob Menke are dating indicate that front lawn each afternoon would around the campus and causing general heart these boys were either trying to rival the varsity trouble among "hero-worshiping" coeds. football team or the law steps whistlers - since they aren't too occupied athletically to notice any SIGMA KAPPA sorority - Betty Moldthan, la feminae what passes! pretty senior, has a problem. Her boy friend of PHI BETA DELTA fraternity - favorite occupa- last year, Dick Klaer, is now attending Notre tion is water-fights with their Acacia and A.T.O. Dame, but Betty is enjoying a platonic friendship neighbors. Zeke Shapiro, active member, is on with Dick's best friend, Keith Nelson. While on the campus full-force again this fall. .. . the other side, Dick is dating Keith's girl-friend at South Bend. A pal, "everything I have is PHI DELTA THETA fraternity - all quiet on yours" policy! the front of the castle on the hill. Quite a number of boys answered calls other than book-learnin' SIGMA NU fraternity - Hank Shricker has fair- and didn't return to school. Toughy Brooks and ly well converted all "would-be-Republicans" with Campbell Kane are still carrying the sword and the able assistance of prexy Dick Stoner who de- shield to fame. clares that the house is non-partisan - except that they're all Democrats. PHI GAMMA DELTA fraternity - there's life in the old frat still, at least it was guaranteed SIGMA PI fraternity - biggest frosh coed dis- when several live-wires were pledged. We note appointment so far this year was learning that that ex-pledge Bob Offitt is back in school. house-prexy and football hero Frank Smith was PHI KAPPA PSI fraternity - hot-bed of politics definitely tied down in the Chi Omega house - and nocturnal discussions of world wide affairs. the tier-upper is pretty Marge Barnes. Nat Hill is leading the right flank as prexy of THETA CHI fraternity the Republican club, while house-president, Bob - Sphinx member, Dan Drain and football man, Moose Mueller keep coeds Denny is sponsoring a movement for better citi- phoning zenship through a national organization. Having the frat house while wit (please, I didn't prefix a goat may or may not indicate that the boys are that!) Jim Antrim is again looking around a bunch of kids - at least they pledged the larg- for prospects. est pledge class and every one a "top." ZETA TAU ALPHA sorority - now that Katie PHI MU sorority - Beryl Ann Brownell returns Kirk isn't tied down on or off campus, she's mak- with a super-Buick only to be told that she ing friends in every frat house. Prexy Georgia couldn't keep it at school. Virgene Moore man- Vorgang manages with W.A.A. prexy Nelda ages to maintain that scholastic average of hers Johnson to make Z.T.A. indespensible to the and help the sisters also. organization. THE QUIZ OF THE MONTH: HOW PURE IS YOUR MIND?

Acting upon the complaint of various campus members that the jokes in the Bored Walk have 9. been something less than lily white of late, we are moved to make a survey of the student body's interest and knowledge of pornagraphia. At great What are you doing with those ears in your expense and waste of time, the staff has collabor- hand? ated in its efforts to bring together a collection of dirty jokes which have been current in the last few decades. Below we print the last lines of said 10. jokes. The reader's purity will be determined by the number which he can recognize from these last lines. She knew the marines had landed.

11. 1

I didn't know which way to turn. Now let go.

12. 2 Let him make his own dam' coffee. De fust prize wuz six bits. 13 3. "That's nice. Don't smoke." And you, Ginsberg, at least you can stop while I'm talking to you.

4. 14.

Did you ever bowl? I usually wear them back if I can.

5. 15.

"I'm warming up your breakfast". Might as well, I'll catch hell when I get home, anyway.

6. 16.

A base on balls. Give my regards to the duke.

7. 17.

What the hell's a panoe ? Ye Gods ! Shulz is dead!

8Y 18.

You ought to know. You were in it. My God! Then I've been seduced. BIG CITY BLUES

"I'm really ashamed of this salad, and if you don't think it tastes right, please don't eat it." "Oh, it's fine." "That's mighty nice of you. But everything went wrong today. I suppose those biscuits are as heavy as lead." "Honestly, they taste swell." "Well, I usually have pretty good luck with biscuits, but--" "They're just marvelous, I think." "Thanks, but I know you won't like the grilled chops. They're terrible." "Well, I can't see or taste anything wrong with them." "That's certainly kind of you. But I just didn't seem to be able to do anything right today. Everytime I started to cook anything, someone came in with a prescription to be filled."

"How much for this radio?" "$50 cash." "Why shouldn't I laugh; the school has to pay all the expenses. "How much on payments?" I got it playing football." "$65; $50 down and $3 for five weeks."

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH (The guy in the Box Office) *

"Boy, it sure makes a difference when you got a good He: I haven't been off my feet all day. team. Everybody wants to see them play. I haven't had so She: Oh, do they come off, too? many chances to insult people since I gave up teaching. This sure is swell. I put them right in their places when they come around trying to buy tickets. "Nope! Not a thing left for this Saturday's game. No reserved seats left for the rest of the home games!" Guess that puts the skids under that guy. The nerve of him asking me to sell him tickets for this week's game. You've got to keep them in their place, or they'll run all over you. "Two on the fifty-yard line? You're nuts, Bud. I'll let you have a couple in the last row, they're not together and each one is behind a pole." Boy, I've got this guy scared. "You heard me. I said that's all I got. If you don't want them, that's 0. K. with me." Am I getting good! I'll soon be able to insult them without opening my mouth. There's a guy here trying to get my attention. Now what shall I do to keep him waiting? Boy, is this fun! I could answer the phone. It's been ringing the last half hour. "Hello, nope, not a thing." Ha, ha! Hung up before she could say a word. Guess I've kept this sucker waiting long enough. I'll insult him now. "Huh? Not a chance. Move! There's people be. hind you trying to get waited on." That should teach him not to bother me any more. The nerve of these saps trying to buy football tickets here when the whole town is full of ticket speculators.

He has a nice head of skin. "Bender here is my best student. He never forgets a thing." THE RIGHT SPIRIT

An art at which Drunkards Always Excel is weaving; One can count On spending well his time, to watch the speed from East to West at which a drunkard's hips weave back and "That deduction in your pay check, Chesterton, is for the forth. three hours you were locked in the time vault."

HOW TO BE AN ASSISTANT-COACH

"Do you really mean to tell me, this is the first time you've ever played football? I can't believe it. That's it now. Let's see you hit that dummy again. Don't try too hard. That's it! You have plenty of dynamite. Let's try it again. Boy, if you'd have taken the game up in high school, you would have been a star today. But we'll take care of that. Let's see you tackle me. Ow, that hurt! You've got the stuff, kid. Tell the locker boy to give you a uniform. Beat it now-O.K., coach, I've got another sucker for the scrub team. One more and we'll have enough for your regulars to bounce around."

"What did you say when you proposed to Jane?" "I told her the truth. I said: 'I am nothing, I have nothing, and I can do nothing." "What did she do?" "Nothing." "He's the class pessimist!" ffff 6 T MORE SMOKIN pif2IfUR Today, more than ever, people are taking to Chesterfield because Chesterfield concentrates on the important things in smoking. You smoke Chesterfields and find them cool and pleasant. You light one after another, and they really taste better. You buy pack after pack, and find them definitely milder. For complete smoking satisfaction is/kryou can't buy a better cigarette next/packL HEJJERFIFID

"Yes, siree, I take a cold shower every morning before my first period class. I have been doing it for three years now." "I haven't bought one textbook since I have been in school." "You don't have to study to pass." "We'll deliver your suit at six o'clock sharp." "Easy payments arranged." "Bachelor's Laun- dry-sox darned." "Yes, we expect to have our own new fraternity house by the end of the sem- ester." "Our records show that you paid $100 more than you thought on your tu- ition." "Of course, we realize that there are better colleges than ours." "Well, just a short one. I've got study- "I'd like to mix your drink, lady, but eagle ears, frog brains, or ground bones, we just don't have." ing to do tonight."

" A REAL GOOD TIME They have devised a process of mak. Mrs. Brown was glad that school Which of my two sons do you like ing wool out of milk, which must was beginning soon, and her two sons, going out with best-Harry or Aus- make the cows feel sort of sheepish. Harry and Austin, would soon be tin? off to college again. Not that it wasn't "Mrs. Brown," replied the maid, a pleasure having them with her all assured by her mistress' manner, "if summer, but she had heard gossip you must know, of the two, I prefer that they were in the habit, each at Austin; but for a real good time, give different times and unknown to the me the master." other, of taking the comely young maid out for a lark. " Mrs. Brown didn't want to spoil their vacation by mentioning it to "What's an appropriate gift for a their paternally strict pater, but all telephone operator?" her direct questioning of Harry and Austin failed to ascertain the truth "Why not give her some earrings." of the rumor. " Mrs. Brown's curiousity finally got the better of her. She figured that by strategy, she might get the truth from "When a fellow says he knows a the maid. "Now, Agnes," she said, I girl like a book, it's a sure sign that want you to answer me candidly. he's putting her on the shelf." "My fiance is a Sing-Sing active." MARTYR T(O A CAUSE DITTY OF A FITTY I was dust a-itty fit Adrift in a solarium 6:00 a.m. - Calamitous! Disastrous! 7 o'clock! The other boys were one Until dey brought anudder fit The last time Slick had signed the by one slowly climbing out of bed. quite a female flarium. call list for this "middle-of-the-night" Same in all frat houses, loaft to go to Wid hour was still vividly fresh in the bed and loaft to get out of bed. Dis dame and me, we fit and fit, memory of Call-boy Joe. Every five Dat bowl was my own 7:10, 7:15, 7:20, 7:30 ... . Joe dressed lairium, minutes for 120 whole minutes he had between calls. He had classes too, An' den she swore she'd have a shaken, deplored, threatened and didn't he? He had to get up himself, fit- pleaded, but all in vain. He had finally didn't he? He paid for his breakfast Now we've given up and Slick had slept through a full aquarium! like anyone else, didn't he? Slick, two classes and one examination! G-d -- MIRIAM JAMES d----, you anyway. Get up or I'll pitch Not likely that he should forget that you bodily out of that bunk! ever! At least he vowed that should *' 7:35, 7:40 . . . he have the dire misfortune to incur Everyone was up now -everyone but Slick who a repeat performance, he'd take it in lay wheezing through his nose, his body contorted A freshman from the Amazon his shorts and save the price of a good pretzel shape. Equality! Who said Put nighties pair of trousers-to say nothing of of his Grandmazon; there was no caste in America. What if explaining the be-seated article to his The reason that Uncle Sam knew about mother. It hurt the same regardless this campus! He was too fat of additional padding! 7:45 o'clock! Suddenly it happened! To get his own Pajamazon. Six o'clock! Great balls of fire! Slick stumbled out of bed, staggered Might as well get started right away- toward the dorm door. He was slovenly * before he dressed even. What if it were atempting to rearrange his pajamas to their intended position. Rubbing only 5:45 o'clock? Every minute count- his The Prayer of a Coed-"I'm sleepy eyes and drooping his sagging ed with such an undertaking confront- not asking for myself, God; but ing him. shoulders, he yawned and at the same time Joe breathed a sigh of please send my mother a son-in- "Ye gods, rhinie, what in the h--- relief, he law." took a few more uncertain steps and do you mean by trying to prod me out then half-fell, half-threw himself into of bed at 5 o'clock?" the nearest bed. * Slick was vehement in his words. Suits! 7:50, 7:55, 8 o'clock . . .. Hell!!! at least he had been wide awake. And then there was a man This wouldn't be so bad - in 15 min- -- Ginger Austin who invented a glass eight ball utes he'd call him again and the for people who like to look ahead. dreaded ordeal would be over. 6 o'clock! Slick peeped at Joe out * * of one eye heavily laden with sleep. One stark, staring unseeing eye and One: "I'd like to buy a bras- that was all. No move, no murmur, no Silas Clam siere. indication of recognizing the familiar, Lies on the floor, Other: "What bust ?" "time to get up." He tried to slam One: "Nuthin', it just wore 6:05 a.m. - a tossled, stringing A swinging door. out." messy head of blond hair turned over in bed and groaned. * * 6:10 a.m. - How could even Slick "I was shot through the leg Street car conductor: "How fall into such profound slumber in 15 in the war." minutes time? old are you, little girl?" "Have a scar?" Little Boston Girl: "If the 6:15 "No, thanks. a.m. - Gad, Slick was a re- I don't smoke." corporation doesn't object, I'd pulsive sight in the morning. Bet that prefer to pay full fare and keep classy little Pie Flee wouldn't brag my own statistics. about the Greek God whose pin she flounted if she could see him now. * 6:30 a.m. - Eyes swollen, mouth hanging open, Slick turned reluctantly Professor: Give me a defini- to half glance at Joe who was threat- tion of jealousy. ening homicide at this moment. Wiseguy: It's a friendship between two girls. 6:40 a.m.-Something like a "crowd" roar in Prof. Harmon's class escaped the lax lips of one very sluggish sleep- * er. Found on a Freshman's Reg- 6:50 a.m.-Horn blast it! He wanted istration some breakfast. Card : Whose slave did the Name of Parents: "Mama Pigma Cri's think he was anyway? and Papa." They tell a smart story about NATTY but NICE Purdue and Indiana University. at COOMBS The story goes that a very wealthy gentleman let it be By.DAVE COOMBS known that he proposed to make a large gift to the former seat IT IS CUSTOMARY at Grand Open- of learning. The wealthy gen- ings to offer up something free as bait tlman probably thought of the to future customers. Roses, perhaps, donation to education largely be- for the ladies and sharp glances for the men. But we are different. In this, our cause of his own lack of knowl- Bored Walk debut, we aren't giving edge. Anyway, an alumnus of away a d - - - d thing. Somewhere Indiana visited him and said; along the'line we heard that it is bet- "Do you know that at Purdue ter to receive than to give. Therefore, the president is a sexagenar- every new reader will be expected to leave a baby bond on our front stoop ian ?" "Goodness, no." "Do you between now and the time it takes to know that the boys and girls at call a cab. Purdue matriculate together ?" In order to avoid further confusion "I had no idea that was so." "Do we would like to point out that this you know that the boys and girls Campus space is supposed to be devoted to use the same curriculum ?" "Is small talk about Fashions for Uni- that a fact ?" "And, finally, did versity men. What's new! What's what! And such stuff and things you know that before the girls Musts' concerning slick campus wearables. graduate, they are compelled to As the guy said "clothes make the show the Dean their thesis ?" man". Well, sometimes anyway. "Horrors." The money went to Our vote for the best dressed visitor Indiana. * McGREGOR at the Texas game must go to one Hoagland Carmichael, SPORTSWEAR '26, of Beverly Hills, Calif. Hoagie and the Misses * stopped off enroute to New York. In the cool of the evening "Hoag" made a * SPECTATOR guest appearance with Red Norvo's CAMPUS band at the Blanket Hop. Later on he First She: "Oh, Gilbert has entertained local owl car citizens at a COATS down town bistro with renditions of the most powerful pair of binoc- some of his old and new favorites. ulars !" Second She: "Good, I dearly Mr. Carmichael was turned out in * BOSTONIAN a very, very sharp double breasted love these strong, virile men." SHOES suit. It was a close striped dark brown worsted done up in the best Hollywood manner. Some of the * town's older characters could con- * STYLEPARK trast this ensemble with the sawed HATS off yellow slicker he used to effect in his undergraduate days at Indi- ana. Star Dust, it seems, has Chirping little birds in trees turned to gold dust. Another style Whistle tuneful pleasantries; * CAMEL flash at Bo's opener was a nifty But such joy is not for me- TOPCOATS lad from Austin, Texas, named I must grind to get my C. Jack Crain. Remember.

Don't go away, now. In the very next * COOPERS issue of Bored Walk we really are go- JOCKEY ing to give out with the latest stuff. * The correct get-up for an afternoon SHORTS at the Commons. What to wear when afflicted with sinus trouble. How to slick up for the first formal of the I bought two skirts on the installment season. These and many other inter- plan, esting observations will be yours for. The reason, of course, to please a man. the small sum of fifteen cents. So hold The skirts are worn, on to your hats, men, and repeat after The man is gone, But the darn installments go on and Down Town - East Side us our well dressed theme song "Natty But Nice". See you next month at the on- same place. -ELEANOR Jewelry Jottin ,s.... . Gifts - Stationery By JERRY WERBER

Have you seen girls on the campus with as many as ten Indiana bracelets Student Supplies on one arm? This good-looking ham- mered silver jewelry set with turquoises is authentic, and yet, one needn't go Greeting Cards any farther west than Indiana avenue in order to purchase it. The Nathan Hale shop carries an unusual line of novelties, and students at the University, both men and women, are becoming regular patrons of the store. One of their features is frequent We invite you to inspect our shipments of wooden animals. Betty Anne Ogden, Alpha Chi Omega pledge selection in new jewelry - who collects horses, takes advantage of much larger than ever be- this opportunity to add to her collec- fore. tion. Bulky necklaces and bracelets of everything from miniature "vic" records to measuring spoons are among the newest novelties in jewelry. Chi NATHAN HALE O pledge, Bettee Schutz wears a bunch ACROSS FROM ADMINISTRATION BLDG. of varnished safety pins on her "Joe" sweaters and also to liven up plain black dresses. Men, who never seem to know what to buy their girls, will do well to con- sult the Nathan Hale merchandise Titsler: for Englishman: "I say, what are "Say, who you shov- initiation, birthday and Christmas they doing?" ing?" presents. There's something in this American: "They're dancing." McGinnis: "I dunno. What's shop that will satisfy every girl, no Englishman: "They get mar- your name ?" matter how hard she is to please. ried later, don't they ?"

Sgt: "There's a bunch of volunteers outside with a bunch of soldiers." Capt.: "What are soldiers doing here?" Sgt.: "They're dragging the volunteers."

I love your hair, I love your eyes, Your form is simply swell; Each night you have a new sur- prise, But dear, you're dumb as hell. "What do you think this is, the Pi Phi house? Get a load of this!" Duty calls of various sorts, Those gauchos don't wearily There's a guy in the newly-built Midterms and long term reports ; wheeze in,_ dorm I should seek a mood reportive, They verily bouncingly breeze in Gives tootings each day on his So I'll leave this poem abortive. They vaunt manly muscle, horn, Till the gent in his upper, And raving steers rustle, Won't come down to supper, But the poor guys just can't pull Cause he's getting damn tired their knees in! of corn. "What do you mean, I have -MIRIAM JAMES baby hands ?" "They're just beginning to * creep." *

First Cannibal: "Is I late for * There was a young lady of Trent dinner?" Who said she knew what it Old Lady: "Little boy, I Second C.: "Yes, you is. meant, wouldn't kick my sister around Everybody's eaten." When men asked her to dine the street like that if I were Gave her cocktails and wine, you." She knew what it meant-but Little Boy: "Oh, it's all right. * she went. She's dead." * * The bride was very much concerned upon finding twin beds in the hotel room. When Roses are blue, Papa Gnu came home and Violets are pink, asked the matter, she replied: Mama Gnu looked at him shyly, After you've had "I certainly thought we would then said, "I've got Gnus for The thirteenth drink. get a room to ourselves." you."' HIGH-CLASS HUMOR DEPT. There once was a German prof, A little girl wrote the follow- Dell, ing essay on men: (From "Approaches to Poetry," Whose lectures were dull, truth "Men are what women marry. by Blair and Chandler) to tell. They drink and smoke and He (Vachel Lindsay) sprin- If one were adept swear, but don't go to church. kled his conversation with play- Notes could be kept, Perhaps if they wore bonnets, ful conceits and puns. When he Although, if one didn't 'twere as they would. They are more logi- recited his poems to the literary well. cal than women, also more zoo- lights of New York late one * logical. Both men and women night in a Childs restaurant, he spring from monkeys, but the dubbed the place "Child's Gar- women sprang further than the Peroxide coed sidling by den of Verses". Of another res- men." With the upturned nose, taurant which was quite mascu- You're attracting every line, he said, "This is a regular eye With those gorgeous clothes. * he-man's place," and then, wink- The trouble is-I might have ing, he added, "and I don't mean known it, Mrs. Felicia Hemans." Some of "In your opinion, who are the This campus-you think you his Christmas cards he signed three greatest sailors in Ameri- own it.. "Respectionately yours." Unre- can history ?" asked an admiral strained by the awing silence * who was conducting an examin- which is a part of the atmos- ation for the Navy. phere of some of America's most Drunk in telephone booth- Sextant: "I'm sorry, sir, I artistocratic hotels, in the lob- "Number, hell! I want my pea- didn't catch your name when I bies and dining rooms of those nuts!" entered the room." dignified caravansaries he per- formed shenanigans which shocked the attendants and con- vulsed fellow guests. ITS Finger Tips ... * For University Men

was The astronomy professor It's the smart thing wherever lecturing. "I predict the end of the world you go ! New Fingertips . . . in fifty million years." in Corduroy and Gabardine "How many ?" cried a fright- . in the new shades for ened voice in the rear. Fall - "Fifty million years." "Oh," said the voice with a deep sight of relief, "I thought you said fifteen million." $7.50 to $15.00

* * YOU WILL WANT ONE OF THESE Our Cadillac is all worn out, the COATS FOR professor's wife lamented. SCHOOL My mink's in shreds, will have to go, and I want a sable next.

Don't fret yourself, her husband said, there is no fuss or bother. One-Stop Men's Shop I have two other classes now, I'll write another text. Slips That Pass in the Type . . By Miriam James NICK KRING SLIGHTLY HURT IN hiERMAN CLICKS MANY BODIES FATAL COLLISION ON HONEYMOON MEET IN PARK -Headline in the Argos Reflector. -Headline almost in the Indianapolis Are Well Satisfied. News. Death, where was thy sting! -Headline in the Noblesville Ledger. -0- There's plenty in that name. Eat with both hands? Like daily TWO FRANCESVILLE baths? Keep mouth shut when you RATE IS HIGHEST YOUNG LADIES WED sleep? Like to spend winter in Maine BIRTH MOST CROWDED FARMS ANNOUNCE ENGAGEMENT woods with woman writer?-Writer's ON the Logansport Pharos- Digest. -Headline in -Headline in the Argos Reflector. Tribune. Wonder how much time she spends Better late than never. writing? And vice versa. IN TRAINING

Stan Lee looked out of his window and sighed sadly. He /.s fi r hoped the last contest would rush along, so that he could break training and go out and enjoy himself as the rest of the fellows in his classes were doing. At times he was sorry he went out for the team. It wasn't so bad before he had become the star of the team; he could sneak out once in a while but now they watched him like a hawk. What was more, the coach placed more restrictions on him than on any other - member of the team. His leg work was so valuable that they were afraid to take any chances of his hurting them. For that reason, he wasn't allowed to attend dances, even during the early part of the evening. The coach wanted to have a special car pick him up and deliver him to his classes, but Stan Lee felt enough was enough and he put his foot down on that suggestion-of course, he put it down lightly.

He was the only one on the squad to get his effectiveness purely from foot work. At that, Stanley Lee thought perhaps the coach wasn't over strict. A debator should be in the best Bad breath made Cora at each Ball condition when he stood upon the platform to speak. A hapless flower (species: wall). But she tried Pep-O-Mints, and, sir!, Men stand in line to dance with her 0

"But my dear girl, I own a sanitarium." "Yeah, I know the rest."

offends now Everybody's breath MORAL, ,and then. Let Life Savers sweet- en and refresh your breath after "Did you carry a stove on your camping trip?" eating, drinking, and smoking. "Where do you think we cooked, on mountain ranges?"

FREE! A BOX OF LIFE SAVERS FOR THE BEST WISECRACK!

What is the best joke that you heard on the campus this week? Send it to your editor. You may wisecrack yourself into a free prize box of Life Savers! For the best gag submitted each month by one of the students, there will be a free award of an attractive cellophane- ),_wrapped assortment of all the Life Saver flavors. Jokes will be judged by the editors of this publication. {._The right to publish any or all jokes is reserved. Decisions of the editors will be final. The winning wisecrack will be " published the following month along with the lucky winner's name.

"Were you the quarterback on the varsity?" "No, I was a nickle back on the bottle."

"Do you allow elephants on this train?" "Yes, but they have to check their trunks."

Speaking of alimony, divorce seems to be the only pro- "Look, it says, 'Made in Japan'." fession that pays more for failure. GIVE US MORE ETHER

(Radio is here to stay. We're sure of it now, because like the movies they have begun to record their boners. The following radio faux pas were listed in a radio magazine.)

"The Women's Auxiliary of For- eign Service will show their pink forms whenever asked to."

"Flemolin gives the best guarantee ever. If you don't like it, you can get your money back. But personally I don't think you will get your money back-nobody ever has."

"I was too young and innocent then," remarked a guest songwriter on Major Bowes' Amateur Hour. An- swered the Major, "Well, Mabel, you are still young."

News announcer, after describing a severe blizzard: "But here is a bright spot in the picture. Over 20 have died in a heat wave in Argentina."

"Mecca is recommended for shav- ing even babies' tender skin.

"He and his gang were sent to pris- on for life-the limit in Wisconsin," according to Col. Norman Schwartz- kopf on Gang Busters.

"If you send your clothes to the Starlight Laundary, you'll never re- man expects to have hands that are TO POETRY: 3:00 A.M. cognize them when they come back." exciting and feminine." You- "No matter how hard you work, a After a soap commercial :"We would That are my very life... You- not expect you to use it on your face, That are the breath of me... but it's good for other places." If- "A dog and his pipe are man's best You do not let me sleep... You- friends." Will be the death of me! "From there he (Arturo Godoy) " went to Chile, where he was born." He: I'm in a fog. "Dorothy Lamour dashed over from the theatre in between acts in full She (looking at empty whiskey theatre makeup, but minus the sa- bottle) : Fog, hell, I'd say you were rong." in a scotch mist.

"1939 was a grand year for Co- lumbia records, a record-breaking year." First Gold-Digger: Was your time very profitably spent abroad? "Pop's Sandwich Shop is featuring half-fried spring chickens." Second Blond: I'll say, I made every second count. "Their ends are down and all un- covered," according to Ted Husing " at the Orange Bowl football game.

"We will now hear from a talented The school is so tough they hold tear gas drills. "She wants to know if you drink." young sinner." mile whirlwind romance, a sensational *FLICK TIPS* new star, as well as two of the biggest names in movies, the greatest musical extravaganza of all time opens Satur- day, October 19 at the Princess The- WHERE THE STUDENTS GO atre. Ten months in production, 20th Century-Fox's Technicolor "Down Ar- WED., THUR., FRI. Oct. 16 - 17 - 18 gentine Way" was conceived on a lav- ish scale for surpassing that studio's widely acclaimed "Alexander's Ragtime Band."

Don Ameche and Betty Grable are paired in this latest picture, while the sultry Carmen Miranda makes her screen debut, singing four of the dis- tinctive songs that have made her famous on two Continents. Scheduled for showing at the Prin- cess during the next few weeks are Four of the eight songs in "Down Encore Show Argentine some of the most outstanding pro- Way" were composed by Friday 10 P.M. Mack Gordon and Harry Warren. ductions ever to come out of Holly- WILL ROGERS These include "Two Dreams Met," "Handy Andy" wcod. So plan to come down to the "Down Argentine Way," "Nenita" and Princess and relax with your favorite "Sing to Your Senorita." movie stars to the finest entertain- SAT., SUN., MON., TUES. Some of the hits you can expect to Oct. 19-20-21-22 IUnilywood offers. mcL:t see at the Princess during the next month include "The Man I Married," Hitched in Paramount's new comedy- co-starring drama, "I Want A Divorce" are Joan lovely Joan Bennett and Francis Blondell and Dick. Powell, who are Lederer; "Moon Over Burma," man and wife in real life, anyway. The featuring Dorothy Lamour, Robert stars' antics highlight this hilarious Preston and Preston Foster; John hit which is now playing through Fri- Barrymore in "The Great Profile"; day. Don't forget the Encore Show Cary Grant and Martha Scott in "The next Friday at 10 P.M. which will pre- Howards of Virginia," and Gary Coop- sent the return showing of Will Rogers' er in "The Westerner." most beloved hit, "Handy Andy." We'll be seeing you at the Princess Boasting eight torrid songs, a 6,000 reel soon.

Alwaijs Two Big Features Starts Sat. Midnight, Oct. 19 Plays Sun., Mon., Tues. JANE WITHERS

Plus : 2nd New Hit !

Al THE t i A UL[UA "Look, Coach, a 21 to 35'er!" THE ENCOUNTER While strolling down the street I somehow chanced to meet Myself the other day. Adjusting my cravat, I tensely tipped my hat, And wondered what I'd say. I smiled at me and said In language quite well-bred, "I hope it doesn't rain." Relieved by this remark, A CHEER- I answered, for a lark, "I hope it does-in Spain." for Indiana Diverted by my quip, I then began to skip, A cheer for the fine, smart college cloth- While shoutin, "What a card !" ing and furnishings you always find at And at this compliment, I really must assent, KAHN'S. I rose in my regard. For 74 years we have smartly and We had a pleasant chat economically clothed the men of Indi- About-Oh, this and that, ana University. Make our store your And then we said goodbye. first stop. While strolling down the street I've never chanced to meet A nicer man than I. -KA wNS *

He-Shall we sit in the par- lor? "Is that you, darling?" "Your husband looks like a She-No, I'm too tired, let's brilliant man. I suppose he go out and play tennis. "No, it's just your husband." knows everything." "Don't fool yourself. He doesn't even suspect anything." A THIRD TERM? * YES! NO! A gay fop from old Monticello Is really a terrible fellow. EARL BROWDER GEORGE WASHINGTON Communist Candidate for Declined a third term and there- In the midst of caresses, President of the U. S. by set the precedent of a two He fills ladies' dresses term limit for President. "The tradition against a third With garter snakes, ice cubes, term in the presidency must be THOMAS JEFFERSON set aside." and j ello. "Should a President consent to for a third elec- EDWARD J. KELLY be a candidate BOSS he would be rejected Mayor of Chicago tion, I trust * on this demonstration of ambi- "I suppose I was one of the very tious views." first to go on record for a third "My dad takes things apart to term." ANDREW JACKSON "It would seem advisable to limit see why they don't go." BOSS FRANK HAGUE the service of the Chief magis- "So what?" Mayor. of Jersey City, N.J. trate to a single term of either ''You'd better go. "Absolutely 100% for a third four or six years. term for Mr. Roosevelt." WOODROW WILSON * HAROLD L. ICKES "It is intolerable that any Presi- Secretary of the Interior dent should be permitted to de- "But, after all, what is a 'sacred termine who should succeed him Wife: "What makes you think or another." tradition' among friends?" -himself we are getting near a big city, dear ?" Monroe County Wilikie ClubI Motorist (doing 70): "We're hitting more people."

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P Luckies' finer tobaccos mean less nicotine

As tobacco experts like Bill Luckies has been 12% less than Currin will tell you,Luckies buy the average of the four other the finer leaf. These men know leading brands*-less than any -they spend their lives buying, one of them. selling and handling tobacco. Luckies, you see, analyze *NICOTINE CONTENT OF LEADING BRANDS Now here's what this means tobacco before buying it. So From January 1938 through June 1940 Lucky Strike has averaged to you as a smoker.... Luckies' our buyers can select leaf that 9.46% less nicotine than Brand A finer tobaccos mean less nico- is ripe and mellow, yet milder 20.55% less nicotine than Brand B tine. The more you smoke, the -low in nicotine. 15.55% less nicotine than Brand C more you want a cigarette of Remember, with indepen- 4.74% less nicotine than Brand D proven mildness. So remember dent tobacco experts, with men For this period Lucky Strike has had an average nicotinecontent of 2.01 parts this fact: for two years, the who know tobacco best-it's per hundred. average nicotine content of Luckies 2 to 1. With men who know tobacco best-it's LUCKIES 2 TO 1