DOCUMENT RESUME

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AUTHOR Levy, David L., Ed. TITLE Speak Out for Children, 1999-2000. INSTITUTION Children's Rights Council, Inc., Washington, DC. ISSN ISSN-1042-3559 PUB DATE 2000-00-00 NOTE 86p.; For 1998 newsletters, see ED 433 149. AVAILABLE FROM Children's Rights Council, Inc., 300 "I" Street, N.E., Suite 401, Washington, DC 20002; Tel: 202-547-6227. PUB TYPE Collected Works Serials (022) JOURNAL CIT Speak Out for children; v14 n1-3 Spr 1999-Win 2000 EDRS PRICE MF01/PC04 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS *Child Custody; Childhood Interests; *Children; *Childrens Rights; *Court Litigation; Divorce; Fathers; *Federal Legislation; Newsletters; Parent Child Relationship; Parent Education; *Parent Rights; Parents; Public Policy IDENTIFIERS Marital Separation; Noncustodial Parents; Unmarried Parents

ABSTRACT This document comprises the three issues of Volume 14 of the "Speak Out for Children" newsletter, published to strengthen families through education and to assist children of unwed parents, separation, and divorce. The Spring 1999 issue contains articles on National Child's Day, joint custody presumptions, changes in children's life and activities from 1981 to 1997, proposed anti-joint custody legislation, and father absence and criminal activity. The Summer-Fall 1999 issue includes articles on the West Virginia shared parenting law, state rankings on the best places to raise children, and children's access to their noncustodial parents. The Winter 1999-2000 issue contains articles on the Fathers Count Act passed by the House of Representatives, the Oklahoma Parentage Act, and the relation between divorce rates and joint custody. Regular features of the newsletter include book reviews, notice of funding opportunities and conferences, news from individual chapters of the organization, descriptions of relevant court cases, and descriptions of pending federal legislation. (KB)

Reproductions supplied by EDRS are the best that can be made from the original document. Speak Out for Children, 1999-2000 Volume 14 Numbers 1-3 Spring 1999-Winter 2000

Children's Rights Council, Inc.

PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION DISSEMINATE THIS MATERIAL HAS Office of Educational Research and Improvement BEEN GRANTED BY EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES INFORMATION CENTER (ERIC) This document has been reproduced as received from the person or organization originating it. Minor changes have been made to improve reproduction quality. TO THE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES INFORMATION CENTER (ERIC) Points of view or opinions stated in this 1 document do not necessarily represent official OERI position or policy.

2 ISSN 1042-3559 Vol. 14-No.1 Spring 1999 Assisting Children of Strengthening Families Attend CRC's 12th Conference Unwed Parents, Through Education Sept. 22-26, 1999 (See pages 8-10) Separation and Divorce And Advocacy otyrFOR 1,440

The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council. Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389Phone (202)547-6227

IN THIS ISSUE: U.S. Expected to Observe Child'sDay in June

Letter to Editor 3 A resolution to create a new national holiday,support creation of the holiday. A National Child's Day, has been introduced in June is perfect for News Flashes 4 the U.S. Senate by Senator Bob Graham (D-FL).picnics, parades, and The resolution is expected to he passed andcommunity and neigh- Changes in Children's signed by President Clinton by the time you re-borhood activities for Time 4 ceive this newsletter. children, he noted. Don't Let Congress 5 Although previous Congressional reso- "It is appropriate to lutions that sought to establish children'sthink of children in this Petition 6 day designed the first Sunday in Octoberfamily context," said for the occasion, CRC urged Sen. GrahamCRC Board Chairman The CRC View 7 to place Children's Day on the firstSun-John Bauserman, Jr. Conference Info 8-10 day in June. More than 100 Some churches around the country alreadycountriesobserve Books Videos, observe Children's Day the first Sunday in June,Children's Day. TheGraham asks U.S. for the First Time Audios, Buttons 11-14 and in early June, Children's Day is "nestled be-U.S. is one of the fewto Celebrate Chilean's Day between tween Mother's Day and Father's Day," asSen.countries that has no Mother's Day and Father's Day Two Parents ti Better Graham said in a letter urging other senators tosuch national holiday. Continued on page 3 Than One 15 Family Facts 16 Joint Custody Presumptions Increasingin States Father Absence Linked According to a 1997 American Bar Asso-mont, and Washington. to Children's Criminal ciation publication, 19 states plus the District (CRC considers California to have a presumption Activity 17 of Columbia have some form of presumptionfor joint custody by practicethat is, because of the for joint custody, either legal, physical, or legalhistory of giving joint custody in a substantial num- ridajuid the Country 18 and physical. ber of cases). News 19 In 11 of those states plus D.C., it is a clear "We are pleasantly surprised to find this rapid ,/Insideipter presumption for joint custody, in 8 states it is agrowth of the idea that the best parent for children is CRC 20 presumption if both parents agree. The clear pre-both parents," said Rick Kuhn, CRC evaluator of re- sumption states are Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Kan-search. melon -Custodial Parents sas, Louisiana, Minnesota, Missouri,Montana, "Yet the situation is changing so fast that appar- tier Health EP a New Hampshire, New Mexico, Texas, and theently even the Bar Association has a hard time keeping 21 pOitrance District of Columbia. In some of those states the up," said Kuhn. "CRC's research has located newly 11 *in Cases 22 terms shared parenting (e.g. Florida) orjointpassed joint custody statutes in four additional states, managing conservatorship (Texas) are used. bringing the total to 23 states and Washington, D.C. In gply for Funds 23 The 8 states where it is a presumption if boththose states, Alabama, Ohio, Oregon and Tennessee, parents agree are California, Connecticut,there is a presumption if both parents agree. Equal Parents' Week24 Maine, Michigan, Mississippi, Nevada, Ver- Continued on page 3

;EST COPY AVAILABLE CRC is a member (Number 1513) of

"Speak Out for Children "is published by the Children's Rights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. Levy. Contributors to this Issue: Don Bieniewicz, Lynn Ephraim, David Dinn. College student intern Jennifer McCormick, Rutgers University. Layout by Sheila Holzberger and Rob Traister.

Children's Charities of The CRC America The Children's Rights Council stituting conciliation and mediation for Material in this newsletter authored (CRC) is a nation-wide, non-profit IRSthe adversarial process, and providingby CRC may be reprinted without per- 501(c) (3) children's rights organizationfor emotional and financial child sup-mission, provided the source ("Reprinted based in Washington, D.C. port. We work to strengthen fragile from the Children's Rights Council news- CRC works to strengthen familiesfamilies of children whose parents areletter 'Speak Out for Children,' Spring through education and advocacy. We fa-unwed. We also favor school-based pro- 1999") is given. For non-GRC material, ob- vor family formation and family pres- grams for children at risk. tain permission from the copyright owner. ervation, but if families break up, or are Formed in 1985 by concerned par-For further information about CRC mem- never formed, we work to assure a childents who have more than 40 years col-bership, publications, cassettes, catalog, the frequent and continuing contact with lective experience in custody reformand services, write: CRC, 300 "I" Street two parents and extended family theand early childhood education, CRCN.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002- child would normally have during ahas chapters in 32 states and two na-4389; phone (202) 547-6227; fax (202) marriage. Our motto is "The Best Par-tional affiliate organizations: Mothers5464CRC (4272). ent is Both Parents." Without Custody (MW/OC) and the The CRC home page is http:// For the child's benefit, CRC favorsStepfamily Association of Americawww.vix.coni/crc/ CRC's email address: parenting education before marriage, (SAA). [email protected] Speak Out for Children during marriage, and for parents who Prominent professionals in the fieldsis published four times a year and is sent are unwed or separated. We work to de-of religion, law, social work, psychology, free to members. Library rate: $20.00 a militarize divorce between parents whochild care, education, business, and gov-year. Send letters, comments, and articles are involved in marital disputes, sub-ernment comprise our Advisory Panel. for publication to Editor, CRC.

OFFICERS AND BOARD NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS Karen DeCrow Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. MEMBERS Darryl Grant. Former President of N.O.W. Executive Director David L. Levy, Esq., President Washington Redskins Jamesville, New York Northern California Mediation John Bauserman, Jr., Esq.. Superbowl XVII and XXII Center Chairman of the Board Champion Elliott H. Diamond Sam Brunetti, CEO Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/ Co-Founder, CRC Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. John Bauserman. Sr. Author Reston. Virginia Author. Psychiatrist Ingrid Bough-Bell Scousdale. Arizona Judge Richard V. Wakiron (reed) EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Phyllis Diller, Comedienne .42e Yarbort nigh John Goidubakti. D.Ed. Los Angeles. California Vicki I. utskv. Author /Columnist D. Richard Kuhn Deepliaven. Minnesota HONORARY PRESIDENT Nancy Heleno Obetz. Margorie Engel, President. David Brenner. entertainer Stepfamily Association of James Levine.The Fatherhood New York, New York ADVISORY PANEL America Project Rabbi Mendel Abrams. NI Min The Family and Work Institute GENERAL COUNSEL Former President, Board of Warren Farrell, Ph.D.. Author New York. New York Michael L. Oddenino Rabbis former Member of the Board of Arcadia. California of Greater Washington. DC Directors, New York City John Money, Ph.D. Professor of N.O.W. Medical Psychology and DIR. OF INFORMATION David 'limey. Actor Leucadia, California Pediatrics SERVICES Santa Monica, California Johns Hopkins University and Ed Mudrak Larry Gaughan, Professional Hospital Hon. Sherwood Boehlert Director Baltimore. Maryland DIRECTOR OF PARENTING U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Family Mediation of Greater EDUCATION PROGRAMS: Washington, D.C. Hon. Debbie Stabenow Elizabeth Hickey. M.S.W. Jim Cook, President U.S. Congresswoman (I) -MI) Salt Lake City. Utah Joint Custody Association Jonathan M. Goodson. Presi- Los Angeles, California dent Hon. Fred Thompson PARENTING EDUCATION Mark Goodson Productions U.S. Senator (R-TN) SPOKESPERSON: "Dear Abby" Los Angeles, California Wes Unseld. VP Washington (Abigail Van Buren) Bullets Los Angeles. California Hon. Bob Graham Member, NBA Hall of Fame U.S. Senator (D-FL)

Page 2 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 Children's Day Continued from page 1 RESOLUTION Some people say everyday is Children's Day. "By the same token, Designating the first Sunday in June of each calendar year as "National Child's every day is Mother's Day and Father's Day. Whereas the first Sunday of June falls between Mother's Day and Father's Day," said Bauserman, "but children are Day; so important, a special day should be set Whereas each child is unique, a blessing, and holds a distinct place in the aside to acknowledge them." family unit; CRC college student interns assisted Whereas the people of the United States should celebrate children as the Sen. Graham's office in calling and faxing most valuable asset of the United States; senators, asking them to co-sponsor the Whereas the children represent the future, hope, and inspiration of the resolution. Some CRC members and United Stales; chapters also assisted by contacting their Whereas the children of the United States should be allowed to feel that senators. their ideas and dreams will be respected because adults in the United States, The resolution is in the box at right. take the time to listen; Whereas many children of the United States face crises of grave propor- tions, especially as they enter adolescent years; Joint Custody Whereas it is important for parents to spend time listening to their children Continued from page 1 on a daily basis; "Since CRC began in 1985, we have Whereas modern societal and economic demands often pull the family apart; been one of the nation's strongest ad- Whereas, whenever practicable, it is important for both parents to be in- vocates of family law that promotes the volved in their child's life; involvement of both parents in a child's Whereas encouragement should be give to families to set aside a special life, regardless of the child's family situ- time for all family members to engage together in family activities; ation," said CRC President David L. Whereas adults in the United States should have an opportunity to reminisce Levy. Presumptions for joint custody on their youth to recapture some of the fresh insight, innocence, and dreams that (shared parenting) are an important part they may have lost through the years; of child-family friendly law, as Jim Cook, Whereas the designation of a day to commemorate the children of the United president of the Joint Custody Associa- Slates will provide an opportunity to emphasize to children the importance of tion, has always said. developing an ability to make the choices necessary to distance themselves from "With the 1999 state legislation ses- impropriety and to contribute to their communities; sion, we are close to realizing an impor- Whereas the people of the United States should emphasize to children the tant goal: the establishment of joint cus- importance of family life, education, and spiritual qualities; tody presumptions in the majority of Whereas because children are the responsibility of all people of the United States, everyone should celebrate children, whose questions, laughter, and dreams states." are important to the existence of the United States; and "If things go well, the total could in- Whereas the designation of a day to commemorate the children will empha- crease again in 1999 and many other size to the people of the United States the importance of the role of the child states have bills pending at the time of within the family and society; Now, therefore, be it this writing," said Kuhn. Resolved, That the Senate For more information on jointcustody (1) designates the first Sunday in June of each year as "National Child's in the U.S., see CRC's website: Day"; and www.vix.com/crc The American Bar (2) requests the President to issue a proclamation calling on the people Association's publications on state laws re- of the United States to observe the day with appropriate ceremonies and activities. garding joint custody can be found at www.a1x netorg/media/factbooks/cht4.htm. Letter to the Editor Editor. child of an unwed mother goes to thematerials that CRC had faxed to me, and CRC recently helped me to getmother unless the court decides other-the lawyer spoke to the judge. joint custody in Kennebec, Southwise, he was giving me joint legal and I will continue to have half the time Dakota. a rural town with a popu-physical custody because I had my sonwith Gayt, age 4. lation of 275 people. 175 days in 1998. I had this in 1998 be- I hope to start a CRC chapter in A circuit judge who travels to thecause of an agreement with the mother, South Dakota. county seat of Lyman County, which in- but the mother later wanted to cut back cludes Kennebec, said that even though my access. Quint Garnos South Dakota practice says custody of a I showed my lawyer joint custody Phone 605/895-2425

Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 3 5 BEST COPY AVAILABLE ! ! News Flashes! ! Access Grants A House Committee will hold hearings this year on the access/ visitation grants. If you have trouble obtaining such a grant, or the grants are not being run right in your state, write to Congresswoman Nancy Johnson, Chair, Human Resources Subcommittee, House Ways and Means Committee, Washington, D.C. 20515, and send it to CRC. We will present all letters to her. CRC plans to ask that states be directed to direct more of the grants to non-profit organizations with experience in counseling non-custodial parents. Make that recommenda- tion in your letter, if you agree with it.

Political Action Committee * Have an impact on the year 2000 Presidential and Congressional elections! Help the Children's PAC, the political action committee that shares CRC ideals. Help the PAC, Help Make it Work! Contact Ann Marini, M.D., and Robert Lipsky, who manage the PAC, at 10408 Hebard Street, Kensington, MD 20895, phone 301/530-9290. Do you know what a difference it would make if we had one member of Congress totally committed to the idea that "The Best Parent is Both Parents?" Help Make it Happen! IL

Changes in American Children's Time, 1981-1997

By: Sandra L. Hoefferth, Ph.D 1997, a 16 percent decline in free timein both 1997 and 1981. Given that free Reprinted from The Brown University Child over the past 16 years. time declined, we would expect declines and Adolescent Behavior newsletter The major causes for this decline arein most activities. Playing dropped by 25 the increased time spent in school,percent, more than the overall decline Family life has changed significantlywhich rose from 21 to 29 hours perin free time, and television viewing de- since 1980. In 1997 two-thirds of theweek, an increase of eight hours. Asclined by slightly less-13 percent. mothers of preschool children werecould be anticipated, the largest increase Churchgoing declined by 40 percent working, compared with 47 percent inwas in the time preschool children spent over the period and outdoors activities 1980 and 12 percent in 1950. This is ain school or child care; even so, school-such as walking, hiking and camping, remarkable number. The employmentage children also spent more time indeclined by about 50 percent. of mothers of young children has had aschool, presumably some before- and Finally, household conversations, major effect on family life, just as theafter-school programs are included bythat is, just sitting and conversing, de- initial movement of men out of the home parents in their reports of "school time."clined by 10 percent over the period, and into wage employment did at theAn additional increase occurred in per-though again, the initial numbers were beginning of the industrial revolution. sonal care time, which is time spentsmall. In recent research at the Univer-bathing, grooming and so on, but also Children's time increased in several sity of Michigan, we focused onincludes time spent packing up one'simportant activities, particularly sports, changes in children's experience ofpossessions or getting ready to go places. visiting, household work and other pas- family life over the 16-year plus peri- Presumably spending more time out ofsive leisure. Sports includes standard ods between 1981, when the first such the home entails more time getting readyteam activities such as soccer, baseball, study was conducted, and 1997. Both to go as well. basketball and swimming. The time studies used the same time diary Meal times also declined betweenchildren spent in sports almost doubled method. The two major findings of our 1981 and 1997, a decline of about anover the periods. research are that, first, children's freehour per week. This is consistent with Children participated in a wide va- time is increasingly structured. To find increased maternal employment Thereriety of scheduled and organized sports out how much free time children hadwas a small, insignificant increase inactivities in 1997. Participation in- in 1981 and 1997, I summed discre-time spent sleeping. creased equally for girls and boys; still, tionary time, defined as time not spent in 1997 boys spent twice as much time in personal car, eating, sleeping and How Free Time has in sports activities as girls. school, and divided by the 168 hours Changed Visiting increased by 100 percent each week. That amounted to 38 per- over the period. This included time cent of a child's week (63 hours) in Children spent about half of their 1981 and 30 percent (51 hours) in free time playing and watching television Continued on page 5 Page 4 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 I) Don't Let Congress Tell Children in Your State that they Can't Have Both Parents in their Lives!

Stop the Anti-Joint Custodybe lost overnight if the states heed We need to hear from you. Please (Shared Parenting) Resolution! such a sole custody resolution fromsign this important petition, and send Read, then Sign Petition to HouseCOngress. it to CRC, so we can forward it with Speaker Hastert! Please sign the letter to Speakerother petitions to House Speaker Hastert and mail it to CRC, so we canHastert. Dear CRC Supporter, walk into the Speaker's office with a We are sending your petitions tobig stack of such letters to really make House an impression! Please sign this petition to Speaker All of us must work together to de- Speaker Hastert today! Hastert ask- feat this resolution, because children ing him to need their dads and their moms when- Please sign the enclosed letter to stop an anti- ever possible to help them do well, toHouse Speaker Dennis Hastert. Fax joint custody avoid crime and drugs, and to achieveit to CRC at 202-546-4272, or mail it resolution their goals. So please sign this letterto CRC at 300 "I" Street N.E., Wash- We need right now! And it is important to have ington, D.C. 20002. Please fax or mail your help to others sign it, too! your membership or renewal of$35, stop an anti- Now please let us tell you whatand a contribution in any amount. joint custody else is happening. This same resolu- If you cannot renew now for $35 resolution We are sending your tion was introduced last year, and youfor one year, sign the petition to that has been petitions to House Speaker and I helped to defeat it once. But itSpeaker Hastert anyway, so we can re-intro- Hastert asking him to stop is back again. And the sponsors ac-deliver him a big stack of letters! ducedin an anti joint custody tually say in the Resolution that it isThank you. Congress resolution in the child's "best interest" to have thisyear. a "primary caretaker." You and I Please sign the letter we will deliverknow that children generally do bet- See petition on to House Speaker" Dennis Hastert,ter when they have both parents in following page. asking the House to oppose Sec. 241 their lives! of H.R. 357 (the Violence Against We have another chance to defeat Women Act). this resolution if we flood Speaker Sec. 241 is a resolution that asksHastert with your letters. Correction the states to "have a presumption that As you can see, we are right in the In the Winter issue, we mis- children shall have their main physi-middle of things. It is more impor- spelled the name of John cal residence with their primary care-tant than ever to work together. Schulte, the Ohio father who is taker parent unless that parent is un-That's why I thought I might ask you trying to locate the whereabouts of his children under the Federal fit." to please send a contribution to CRC. Parent Locator Act. To include this resolution in theIf you are not a member, join for $35. Violence Against Women Act is aIf you are a member, please renew clever and indirect way to abolish jointfor $35. Consider a contribution in We thank Bladen custody, because we are all against vio- any amount to CRC to help us in this lence against women, but we realizeeffort to continue to educate our law- Lithographics Inc. that we can protect women and soci-makers and the public that "The Best in Gaithersburg, ety without abolishing sharedfor Children is Both Parents." Thank parenting. you. MD for providing Please sign the letter and mail it printing services to right away because it is dangerous for CRC. Congress to ask the states to go back to primary caretaker, sole custody Sincerely yours, laws. That would mean an abolition David L. Levy, Esq.Presiclent, CRC and our of joint custody statutes everywhere! CRC chapters need grant All the efforts we have made ad- and proposal vancing the right of a child to have Rebecca Roberts-Malamis, Esq. writers. two parents whenever possible could Legislative Director Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 5 7 RETURN THIS ENTIRE SHEET TO Children's Rights Council 300 I Street N.E., Suite 401 Washington, D.C. 20002

PETITION TO THE SPEAKER OF THE U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF CHILDREN FROM THEIR PARENTS!

The Undersigned Hereby Petitions the House of Representatives to Stop Sec. 241 of H.R. 357, which asks the States to abolish their joint custody (shared parenting) statutes!

Speaker of the House J. Dennis Hastert Washington, D.C. 20515

Dear Speaker Hastert:

I ask you to stop an anti-joint custody resolution that is Sec. 241 of H.R. 357 (the Violence Against Women Act). Sec. 241 is a resolution that would ask the states to "have a presumption that children shall have their main physical residence with their primary caretaker parent unless that parent is unfit." To include this resolution in the Violence Against Women Act is a clever and indirect way to abolish joint custody. We all strongly oppose violence against women, but we realize that we can protect women and society without abolishing shared parenting. Please don't cut children off from their parents! Children need their dads and their moms whenever possible to help them do well, to avoid crime and drugs, and to achieve their goals. Please have the House of Representatives stop Sec. 241. Thank you on behalf of children and families across this great country.

Signature

Print Name

Address

Date

I have signed the above letter. Detach and deliver it to House Speaker Hastert. I wish to support our efforts to defeat this resolution and to continue our other important efforts. I would like to join or renew for $35. after my expiration date. Here is an additional contribution of Orcharge myVisa MC AMEX a totalof $ Card # Exp. date My membership # (see back of newsletter) Fax this sheet to CRC at 202-546-4272 for quicker action. I cannot or am not able to join, renew, or contribute at this time, but send my signed letter to Speaker Hastert anyway. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce the petition with or without credit to CRC. We strongly urge you to reproduce it and return it to CRC, for presentation of many petitions to Speaker Hastert. Be sure to get your family and friends to sign. More copies of the petition are available from CRC. We appreciate your financial support to enable CRC to continue its work. Make your check or credit card payment to CRC and send to 300 "1" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002, or fax credit card contribution to 202-546-4272. Or make a contribution to the CRC chapter in your state.

Page 6 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 8 Strengthening of family life is the common element of all the above ideas. xeewe 'iee The long and the short of it is that Dewee 4 .deoey one size does not fit all. If there are bil- lions to be spent, there is enough money branch of the Ford Foundation that cre- to go around for all of the above purposes, ated NPCL, and which has "deep pock-and then some, as we evaluate "what ets" it is investing in fatherhood issues. Levy works" best for children and families. Mincy noted that fatherhood is now If you are part of a group, start to How You Can Obtain on the top of the radar screen for politi- run a program, such as a "Hotline" for Government Funding to cal leaders, but that it might not be at theparents, or a neutral drop-off site for Help Children Obtain top of the screen three years from now. children. Access to Both Parents He noted that the research and think- If your group doesn't have its ing on the issue of fatherhood is so new, 501(c) (3) status, get it! Call CRC for in- CRC has advocated since its incep-and so many groups have varying ideas,formation. Network with other parenting tion in 1985 laws and attitudes that fo-that it is not clear what should be rec-groups in your community. Be a part of cus on the need of a child for two par-ommended. Or what works! the action! Help point in what direction ents, rather than cloaking issues around One solution, said Mincy, is to con- those billions will go! the needs of "mothers and children." Ornect child-support efforts to local father- "fathers' rights." hood groups and use amnesty programs Congress and the White House areand job opportunities to get men reat- CRC on the Internet tached to work and their children. ready to invest billions of dollars in pro- Bruce Kaskubar, CRC coordinator grams to reconnect fathers to their fami- Other speakers at the conference in Minnesota; Rick Kuhn, CRC evalua- lies, and while CRC expects good thingstied single parenthood to the volatile tor of research in Maryland; and Serge to come of that, we see a danger in just"gender relations" among black men Prengel, CRC of New York City, main- focusing on fathers comparable to the pastand women, and their ambivalence tain CRC's site on the Internet World- 30 year political focus just on mothers. about marriage. wide Web. The CRC site can be reached It is CRC's hope that the pendulum These behaviors, plus the "virtual at http://www.vix.com/crc/ Rick Kuhn will swing to the middle, where the trin-silence of black women" on what they reports that the CRC website is getting ity of "mother, father and children" willwant the fathers to do, have to be ad- more than 1,000 hits (inquiries) a month. be seen as the ideal family structure fordressed before real progress can be Bruce's e-mail is most children. And public policy willmade, said Mincy. [email protected]; Rick's is be based on encouraging that trinity. Fatherhood groups shouldn't delayKuhnl @aol.com and Serge's is But first, perhaps, America has toin their push for government money, [email protected]. rediscover the importance of fathers toadded Mincy. "Harness the resources Mike Oddenino, CRC's General children. And that is what is happeningnow, before fatherhood gets pushed offCounsel, has a new website. It can be the political agenda.". today. reached at www.oandglaw.com (correc- The questions being asked arc: where CRC's view on spending the bil- tion from last issue) should the billions of dollars about to belionsfor which we wish input from spent go? To programs aimed at gettingyou, CRC members, is: fathers to many? To efforts to make child What Mincy saysto connect Patronize Our Advertisers support enforcement "kinder and gen-unwed fathers to their children, the tler"? To job-training and employmentchildren's mother, and jobs; Advertise in CRC's Newsletter: programs so fathers can financially sup- A Encourage marriage, which 5,000 circulated with a Nation- port their children? is what Wade Horn's National Fa- wide readership of 25,000! These are the questions raised at a therhood Initiative strongly favors; Business Card $75 March 24-25, 1999 conference on 'The Don't forget the 18 million Quarter page $150 Politics of Fatherhood," sponsored bychildren of divorce, the 2 million (3.575 x 4.825") the National Center for Strategic Non-non-custodial mothers, and the 12 Half page $275 Profit Planning and Community Lead-million non-custodial fathers. (7.15" x 4.825") ership (NPCL) and the Howard Univer- The access grants provided by Fullpage $500 sity School of Schools of Divinity andCongress show that reaching out (7.15" x 9.65") Social Work. with programs that work such as For information contact: NPCL focuses mainly to help "frag-parenting education, mediation, and Andrew Ross ile families"low income, unmarried neutral drop-off and pick-up of chil- 301/320-5960 parents. dren centers can help connect chil -. Lawrence Peckmazian The hit of the conference, in mydren to their divorced and separated 703/920-1451 view, was Ron Mincy, who heads aparents. Spring 1999Speak Out For Children Page 7 chi 4Reo coovcii 12Th National Conference "Keeping Children First in the zr Century" Holiday Inn Hotel di Suites - Old Towne Alexandria September 22nd-26m, 1999

WHAT A PACKAGE! ALL INCLUDED: Savvy speakers sharing the best practices - Chance to network - Workshops -Conference notebook with synopsis of presentations and list of attendees- Mega book fair and More. PLUS: Wine & cheese reception - Continental breakfasts-Columnist & media personalities luncheon - Authors luncheon -VIP breakfast- Banquet with special keynote speaker and entertainment. MEET AND HEAR from renowned researchers, judges, lawyers, legislators, columnist, sports figures, and authors like John Guidubaldi, D.Ed., Kent State Univ., Sanford Braver, Ph.D., Ariz. State Univ., CRC General Counsel Michael Oddenino, Civil Rights attorney Ron Henry, the head of the Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement Hon. David Gray Ross, and many others.

LATEST INFORMATION: Does your child really need you?Should I give my children a choice? How can I make sure the money goes to my child? Do I really want joint custody? How can I get leverage to win outof court? Am I alienating my child? How can I get fair and yet an adequate child support award? Do I go to court to get my rights or to lose them? How can I get grant money? What does "in the child's best interest" really mean? Should I mediate or litigate?

EXHIBITORS will offer special money saving products and services: long distance phone services - computer software and hardware educational toys and stuff- books and other resource materials - legal services - travel discounts - child support assistance.

THE BOTTOM LINE for parents and professionals:

You will see and hear more than you thought possible!

* INFORMATION - CONTACTS - RESOURCES - CONNECTIONS * Hotel special $89 double or single occupancy Call (703) 548-6300 & say CRC conf. Fully equipped health club with pool and sauna / free shuttle from National Airport (2mi.) / FREE parking

% 774ad Stowis our official travel agent for special airline fares and vacation packages. Call 1 (800) 235-0356 (9:00-5:00 weekdays / 9:00-1:00 Sat. EDT.) and say CRC conf.

Page 8 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 + FEES +

$150members before Aug. 14 $200non members & late registration (Includes first year's membership) Ala carte: $25 workshops & seminars (no meals, but includes coffee breaks)Thurs.-Fri.-Sat. $75 $25 luncheon tickets Fri.-Sat. $50 $15 breakfast tickets Fri.-Sat.-Sun $45 $40 banquet Fri.Evening $40 $25 wine & cheese reception Thurs. Evening $25 TOTAL $235 Pre-conference (Wed.): Access counseling training by Dick Woods and certification by CRC $60

Bonus: Free book to the first 100 paid full conference registrants: "A Family Divided" by Robert Mendelson ("A divorced father's struggle with the child custody industry.")$25retail + PROGRAM +

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Page 10 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 Children's Rights Council 999CATALOG OF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANYBOOKS rasccoLTINFTED! BOOKS FOR KIDS NEW! The Divorce Decisions Workbook, by Margorie Engel, I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James 1992. Planning and action guide with 55 formulas to help Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. you in four key decision areas:financial, legal, practical, and HB252 $16.95 emotional. SB-2006 *Discount Price $7.00 How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Ad- vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read one- NEW! of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents as they Divorced Dads, Shattering the Myths, reshape their lives post-divorce. by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. The sur- prising truth about fathers, children and di- SB-112 *Discount Price $4.00 DIVORCEDvorce. HB-250 $24.95 I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps

children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative 511AIIERING MYEIIS feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. For the Sake of the Children, by Kris Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses how SB-2012 *Discount Price $2.00 to share your children with your ex-spouse de- spite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida coordinator. PHO- Questions from Dad, by Dwight Twilley, 1994. An effec- TOCOPIES ONLY! tive way to develop better relationships between childrenHB-216 *Discount Price $9.00 and their parents. *Discount Price $7.00 HB-240 The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. An outstanding book with a powerful message: while di- What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, vorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. better than one. HB-2001 -- $23.00 SB-307 - $12.00 Helping Your Children through Divorce, Florence It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by Bienenfeld, Ph.D.,1995. A resource book depicting the im- Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help pact of divorce on children. children understand divorce and sends a SB-201A *Discount Price $7.00 good message. SB-308 $5.99 A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book that will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler they play in changing patterns in their lives. & Michelle Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate honest and open SB-225 *Discount Price $8.00 communication between adults and children at the trau- matic time of separation and divorce. O and A for kids. The Joint Custody Handbook, by Miriam Cohen, 1991. SB-2010 *Discount Price $6.00 A 1991 update of one of the classic books on joint custody. Contains sample parenting agreements. PHOTOCOPIES BOOKS FOR PARENTS ONLY! 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co- HB-213 $10.95 parents and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, and Step-family situations. Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc- SB-113 $9.95 cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own research, and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal informa- The Adult Children of Divorce Workbook, by Mary tion. Hirschfeld, 1992. Visualization exercises help readersSB-223A *Discount Price $10.00 root our destructive feelings left over from their childhood. HB-223B *Discount Price $18.00 SB-2009 *Discount Price $5.00 Loving and Listening, by Melinda Blau, Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. 1996. A Parent's Book of Daily Inspirations for Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive Rebuilding the Family After Divorce guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. SB-235 - *Discount Price $10.00 HB-204 *Dl9count Price $9.00 is REVISED! by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make names). two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages SB-282 Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 to this classic book! Individual copies $10.00 SB-202 -$20.00 Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the na- solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. tionally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. Points our destructive habits by both genders which, when H137284 $25.00 realized, strengthen families and relationships. SB-246 Extra Low Price $3.00Joint Custody: An Alternative for Divorcing Fami- lies, by Mel Morgenbesser and Nadine Nehls, 1981. A The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce, guidebook for parents about summer camp and education by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. through travel. SB-286 $16.95 HB-285 *Reduced price $5.00

Putting Kids First, by Michael Oddenino. A must read for BOOKS FOR STEPARENTS caring parents and professionals, by CRC's General Coun-How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. sel. Includes a children's bill of rights. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the SB-248 $9.95 Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and give suggestions on how to make stepfamilies work. Second Chances, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra HB-301 $13.95 Blakeslee, 1989. Based on ten year longitudinal study of the effects of divorce on adults and children. Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/New Rules, HB-22- *Discount Price $8.00 by Claire Berman, 1986. Former president of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical help and insights. Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par- SB-304 - $7.95 ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still valid inStepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Ma la Burt for discussing the problems of children being raised by single the Stepfamily Association of America. parents. SB-303 - $9.95 SB-220 *Discount Price $10.00 BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS CKLAIINU SUI.CIVIUL NEW! Pnnwuno FLPI Creating a Successful Parenting Grandparents, by Dr. Ruth Westheimer (Dr. Ruth). Includes a 20-page chapter on divorce. Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne Major. Nationally ac- SB-393 $22.00 claimed author of "Breaththrough Parenting" and "Winning the Custody War Without Ca- BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS WIEREWEEMI sualties" SB-280 $24.95 At My Father's Wedding: Reclaiming our True Masculinity, by John Lee, 1991. A ground-breaking work 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, about the Father Wound and the pain a child can bear be- 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- cause of it. pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. HB-242 - Extra Low Price $2.00 HB-281 $19.50 Surviving Divorce-Women's Resources After Familyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by Separation, by Mavis Maclean, 1991. Women coping with Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to communi- earnings, maintenance and welfare in the U.S., France, cating values. and Great Britain. HB-282 $21.00 HB-819 *Discount Price $5.00

The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide toThe Liberated Man, by Warren Farrell, 1993. Reveals Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC what every woman needs to know about men and what book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) every man needs to know about himself. for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10SB-244 *Discount Price $3.00 each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC forThe Daddy Track and the Single Father, by Geoffery $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. HB-642 $19.95 14 Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need toHealing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults Know about Money and Divorce, by Esther M. Recover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., Berger, 1996. CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth SB-251 $22.00 Dalton, attorney and mediator HB-615 $15.00 New! Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's Journey, by Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized Divorce, by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the funda- CRC's own Serge Prengel, 1998. Published with praise mental skills of negotiation conflict resolution and from Warren Farrell, Karen De Crow, and James A. Cook. -mediation, for everyone's good. SB 252 ---- $13.95 SB-605A *Discount Price $9.00 The Myth of Male Power, by Warren Farrell, 1993. Rock LEGAL ISSUES solid and authentic decimation of the myth of male advan- tage ...sweeps aside stereotyped assumptions to uncover A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, 1997. a deeper truth. A discussion of a divorced father's struggle with SB-245 *Discount Price $6.00 the child custody industry. HB-762 $21.00 Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights and The Custody Revolution, by Richard desires. Warshak, 1992. The Father Factor and the SB-243 *Discount Price $3.00 MotherhoodMystique. HB-702 *Discount Price $15.00 ra I hers. Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-sell- 114,411 is ing book for fathers who want to maintain contact The Fathers Emergency Guide to Divorce/Custody with their children. Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Law- SB-640 $12.50 yers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Subculture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the legal insights of Wil- The Divorced Parent: Success Strategies for Rais- liams Dawes, Esq., 1997. ing Your Children After Separation, by Stephanie SB-247 $15.00 Marston, 1994. Provides practical advice and specific tools for raising well-adjusted children. PARENTAL KIDNAPPING HB-643 $21.00 The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for mental Father's Day, by Bill McCoy, 1995. Witty and wise notes health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. An authoritative work on the Parental Alienation Syndrome . from a new dad in the real world. SB-1004 $30.00 HB-644 $22.00 When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents collection of stories on being a man at midlife in America, searching for their children and abductors who have taken with introduction by Robert Fulghum. them; also makes public policy recommendations. HB-645 -- $21.95 HB-901 $22.95

Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster CHILD ABUSE Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about child custody and child support for a single par-Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong, ent. 1996. False Accusations of Child Abuse: A Roadmap for SB-641 $21.95 survivors which helps to answer their questions. S= MAWR SB-2014 $15.95 The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Emily Children Held Hostage: Dealing with programmed and Card, 1996. A plan for managing your money when you are brainwashed children, by Stanley Clawar, Ph.D. and Brynne the only one your family can count on. Rivlin, M.M.S., 1991. Published by the ABA's Section for SB-646 - $14.95 Family Law, this book discusses a 12-year study of pro- MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION gramming and brainwashing during custody battles. $45.00 Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, SB-1003 Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., Protocols for Sex Abuse Evaluations, by Richard 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase sys- Gardner, M.D., 1995. Presents a new series of criteria and tem to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom interview sequences to help examiners involvedin sex abuse litigation. evaluations. HB-603 $35.00 HB-1007 $39.95 Recognizing Child Abuse and Combating Child program described in this video has helped many children Abuse, A comprehensive guide to recognizing, prevent- of divorce. ing, and handling child abuse and neglect, by a residentV-905 $15.00 scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. (both booksPsychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D.) tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, SB-1006 *Discount Price $12.00 M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- HB-1008 *Discount Price $20.00 ate the child against the other parent. V-906 $25.00 The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gel les 1996. A con- AUDIOTAPES vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child wel- By noted author Warren Farrell fare system. Why Men Are the Way They Are HB-1022 - $23.00A-310 $ 8.00 Understanding Each Other (set of two tapes) Suggestions of Abuse, by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D. 1994.A-311 $ 8.00 A book about true and false memories of childhood sexual The Myth of Male Power trauma. A-312 $ 8.00 HB-1023 $22.00 Complete set of Warren Farrell tapes True and False Accusations of Child SexA-113 $20.00 Abuse, by Richard A. Gardner,1992. A guide for legal and mental health professionals. REPORTS HB-1024 $45.00New! A list of statutes and major cases on joint custody in all 50 VIDEOS states. Prepared by Ray Meiers of CRC of Ohio, up- Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth dated to August, 1998. Excellent 20-page nationwide Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex- compilation reference guide. Available on disc (microsoft perience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC- word) or hard copy. award winning video prepared by CRC's National ParentR110 $10.00 Education Director. UPDATED 1997, Interference with Access (Visitation) as a V-902 $25.00 Tort. Not a frequent remedy, but one that may be available. The Sensible Approach To Divorce, prepared by Wyan-R116 $10.00

. dotte County, Kansas officials. A CRC-award winning pro- gram in Kansas that shows parents how they can both be PINS AND BUTTONS fully involved in children's lives post-divorce. The famous "Children First" pin. 8 colors, with figures of seven $15.00 V-903 children standing on a field of green with logo "Children Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- First." Two prongs. 3/4" high, 1 1/2" wide. ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that P101 $8.00 provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce.Button created by Patti Diroff that says "Child support is more V-904 $20.00 than a check, it's being a parent' With CRC logo, including The Family After Divorce: Restoring the Family children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2 1/4" diameter. Fabric, by Phoebe Snover Prosky, MSW. (25.00). TheB202 $2.00 r Order Porn, Title Total enclosed Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title exp. date Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Title Total Suite 401 S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP: .1

44. Two Parents are Still Better Than One Until we change in more fundamentalby the absence of a parent. By Kathleen Parker December 21, 1998 ways, divorce isn't going away. Nor is our No matter how swell we are individu- Orlando Sentinel nationally syndicated absurd notion that single-parenting is justally, two parents are better than one. No columnist another lifestyle option. According to thematter how technologically advanced (or Reprinted with permission U.S. Census Bureau, the increase in single-strange) we become, the original blue- dad households is a function of both di-print calls for two parents. Male and fe- Wouldn't you In good news thisvorce and the solo-parenting "choice," asmale. Mom and Dad. like to wake up oneweek: The number ofwell as adoption agencies' willingness to I realize that's an unpopular notion single fathers with consider single people, gay and straight, as these days. We don't like to deny day and see thechildren at home hasparents. Of men heading single-parentpeople their happiness, however they headline: "Two-increased by 25 per-households today, 35 percent have nevermay define it, and above all we don't parent familiescent in the past three been married. like to judge. Two men want to have a make dramaticyears. In 1970, according to the report,baby? Why not? A teen-ager outgrows comeback." That's also theabout one in 10 single parents were fa-her teddy bear and wants a real baby bad news. thers. In 1998, it's one in six. The num-to love? Well, deary, it's better than It's good news because the numbers ber of single-parent families headed byabortion. seem to suggest that courts are beginning tofathers has grown in the past three years A professional woman's bio-clock recognize that fathers are parents, too. For from 1.7 million to 2.1 million. By com-is out of batteries so she swings by the too long, mothers automatically wereparison, 9.8 million mothers head single-sperm bank on her way home from awarded custody of children and fathers parent households. Overall, single-par-work? You go girl! were mere "visitors" to their kids. ent families constitute 27 percent of all But ask a child what he wants and It's bad news because when one par-families. he'll tell you: a mother and a father. ent has custody, regardless of whether Fathers groups, which have foughtMeanwhile, studies show that despite it's the mom or dad, the other is essen-hard for equality in the custody battle,anecdotal successes, children reared in tially missing from the child's life. Chil-are celebrating the new figures. Demog-single-parent homes are at greater risk dren don't prefer one parent over theraphers are boasting the breakdown offor getting in trouble, suffering emo- other, except when they're working on asexism. tional problems or dropping out of deal, such as figuring out which one is Feminists say this trend ultimatelyschool. more likely to let them see "Psycho."will help women. It should go without saying that not Generally, they like having both parents All probably true. Men have beeneveryone gets what they want -death around. disenfranchised and children hurt by theand necessary divorce happen-but at A better news item would be thatcourts' tendency to award sole custody least we should hesitate before celebrat- shared custody arrangements have in-to mothers. ing advances that merely make awful creased 25 percent. Or even better, that Preferential treatment to women issituations less awful rather than better. divorce rates are plummeting. Wouldn'tsexist. And single mothers usually suf- Better would be to reverse the trend you like to wake up one day and see thefer both financially and emotionallyaway from single-parenthood toward headline: "Two-parent families makefrom the burden of trying to raise chil-the ideal of whole families, including a dramatic comeback... Or, "More chil-dren alone. mother and a ladle': dren than ever are enjoying two-parent But one hardly feels like breaking out Parker'se-mailaddress is households." the Cold Duck. Children are still [email protected] Changes in Family Time Means More Passive Activities

Continued from page 4 spent on the telephone talking with 1981, children spent one-half hour in scheduling. The food preparation indus- friends. One puzzling finding was thatother passive leisure; that figure was try is a fast growing segment of the work time in household work more than three hours and six minutes in 1997. force, with carry-out and restaurant food doubled between 1981 and 1997. Fi- substituting for home-cooked meals. nally, consistent with the conclusion Implications Families may spend time running back that there has been an increase in struc- and forth to stores rather than making ture in children's lives, we see that the We recognize that families are a lotgoods at home. time children spend in other passive lei- busier today; with two parents working This is reflected in the increased time sure - going to shows and sports eventsand children in their own activities, evenchildren spend in household work, the at which the child is a spectator and notchildren need their own personal orga-largest chunk of which is explained as a participant - increased five-fold. Innizer. Family life requires very tight Continued on page 17 Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 15 17 -Ara. ',0," a"-

Make withChildren During Top 10Mistakes Parents DivorceLawyers Rank Divorce during di- mistake parentsmake with children children is the biggest according to a surveyof the other spouse infront of the with visitation, Denigrating the a messengerand interfering followed closelyby using children as vorce, attorneys. in Chicago,November 12, nation's top divorceand family law (AAML) , at itsAnnual Meeting Matrimonial Lawyers members participated, The AmericanAcademy of divorce. Some 200 parents withchildren make during It's importantfor parents to 1998, ranked the10 top mistakes children beforetheir legal battles. put their Children are part momand part dad and "It is imperativethat divorcing parents long-term consequences. actions duringdivorce can have the Academy'spresident. remember that their according to MikeMcCurley of Dallas, in their lives," divorce are: need both parents biggest mistakes parentsmake during In order offrequency, the 1. Denigratingthe other spouse. 2. Using thechild as a messenger. rights. 3. Interferingwith visitation behavior. of the otherspouse's infidelity, 4. Sharingintimate details supporting the children. 5. Failing to paychildsupport/adequately love interest. introducing the child tothe parent's new 6. Immediately other parent. child as far away aspossible from the 7. Moving the the other parent. the child'sconversations with 8. Listening to the legal pleadingsor 9. Having thechild read all the attorney. having them contact from the other 10. Having thechild request money spouse. of child sexualabuse, most Regarding allegations 50 such allegations weretrue less than attorneys felt fairly well divided on Divorce MoreNegative percent of thetime. They were for ChildrenThan the courts weredoing in sorting out Deathof a Parent how good ajob Jerusalem -Childrenof divorced untruthful allegations. likely to suffer the truthful from Matrimonial Lawyers from depression The AmericanAcademy of age and background in adult life thanpeople ofsimilar of the nation's top1,500 matrimonial whose parents havenot divorced, says is composed in the special- chiatric studyon factors leading a psy- attorneys who arerecognized experts to depression. The Israeli studyindicates that matrimonial law,including divorce, the loss ofa parent through di- ized field of annulment, vorce is more likelyto cause depression prenuptial agreements,legal separation, And than loss throughdeath. valuation and division,support separation froma mother or from both custody, property divorceor desertion, was parents, whether through of unmarriedcohabitors. more likely to cause depression and the rights encourage ration only froma father. than sepa- The purpose ofthe Academy is to elevate the stan- Researchers BernardLerer and OferAgid the study, improvethe practice, chiatric Unit of the Biological Psy- matrimonial law. of Hadassah Hospitalfocused dards and advancethe cause of ents divorced before on children whosepar- publishes a freebook, "Step- the childwas 9. The Academy Your Children They examined231 patients from Jerusalem's Anger. Protecting Herzog, Talbiyeh ping Back from Academy at and Eitanim psychiatrichospitals Order from the and matched themwith 170 people During Divorce. in a controlgroup that was drawn from the localcommunity. 312/2634477. readers to This doesn 'tmean children ofdivorce would like our are doomed to depres- Editor's note: We sion in later life.The researchers Top 10 mistakeslawyers make emphasize that divorce point out the in depressionotily among about was a factor issue of "SpeakOut for Children." 30% ofpatientsin the study, for the next send to the that onlya minority of children and Send to CRC, wewill compile, and depression. experiencing divorcesuffer from Academy. From articleby Matthew Kalman 1999 in USA Thdaryy, Februa Z "71r7Y-I r .;'*" From Volume 14, Number 1, Spring 1999,Speak Out for Children,newsletter of the Children's Rights Council 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 pahone (202) 547-6227 8 Father Absence Linked to Children's Criminal Activity

by Maggie Gallagher income, urban residence and even cog-live with any parents." Sadly, it looks as excerpted with permission from a Universal nitive ability. ifwhen single mothers marry anew part- Press Syndicate column The results? Young men raised inner (again, on average), a boy does not November 27,1998 disrupted families were 200 percenttypically so much gain a father as lose a more likely to end up incarcerated thanmother. Young men Is father absence men who lived in intact families. These new findings confirm an old -raised in disrupteditself the cause of The effects of father absence seemtruth: The moral choices parents make, families were 200 crime, or is it merely to be addictive: Each year spent in aabout having sex and raising children the poverty and ra-broken family increased the odds of in-outside of an intact marriage, affect not percent more cial inequality single- carceration by 5 percent. Boys whoseonly their own children's life chances, likely to end up in- parent families ex-families divorced during their teen yearsthey affect all of us. carcerated than perience? Is divorcewere about 1.5 times more likely to be And yet we are doing a pathetically men who lived in more or less damag-incarcerated, while boys raised by un-poor job of passing on a firm marriage intact families. ing than unwed par-wed mothers (who mostly never livedethic to the next generation: According enthood? And didwith their fathers) were about 2.5 timesto the Census Bureau, a shocking 44 remarriage hurt or help? as likely to end up jailed. percent of first births are now outside To answer questions like these, re- Boys with stepfathers were on av-of marriage. If this continues, almost searchers Sara McLanahan and Susanerage almost three times more likely tohalf of American young women who Harper followed more than 6,000 youngend up in prison than boys in intact fami-become mothers will do so, for the first men through their crime-prone years, lies. In fact, note the authors, 'The oddstime, without being married. from their teens up through their earlyfor youths from stepparent families are This is surely one of our most press- 30s. They controlled for race, education,similar to those from youths who do noting social problems.

Changes in Children's Time Means Less Talking with Parents

Continued from page 15 time children spend accompanying par- and, therefore, with future success inemployed. ents on errands and shopping trips ratherschool and life. While studying increased There is one cautionary note. We than traditional chores and cleanup. by 50 percent between 1981 and 1997,found that children who spend fewer the total hours children spend studyinghours eating meals have higher levels Consequences is still small, only about two hours perof aggressive behavior problems than week. In addition, studying is not neces-those who spend more hours eating As the present generation of chil-sarily associated with doing better inmeals. We do not yet know, of course, dren moves into young adulthood, we school because children who study morewhich comes first; however, meal time 'nay see the consequences in reruns 01 include those who arc having school is Dui inipol tam. time when children their expectations of home and familyproblems. parents can find out what happened over life. Certainly, we are seeing in the over- Finally, we did not find that childrenthe day. whelming enrollments ofyoung womenwho spend less time playing at home This is not the only time children in colleges and universities that womennecessarily do worse on tests of verbal and parents spend talking, but since just will be involved in careers in the future. or math achievement or have more be-sitting and talking as the main activity Society will continue to adapt. havior problems. Children may be play-also declined dramatically between 1981 Television time has not gone up; in ing in their preschool programs or haveand 1997, there may be a basis for con- fact, it has declined, though not by assome free time at school. Thus, thiscern. much as the overall decline in free time.study provides only a partial picture of We will be conducting additional Television is a passive activity that, over-children's time. analyses over the next few years and con- all, has a small but statistically significant In addition, we found no evidence ducting a second wave of data collection impact on children's reading achieve- that mothers who work outside the homeon these same children and their fami- ment test scores. On the down side, the are neglecting their children. A differ-lies in the year 2001. For more informa- total time spent reading-only about oneence of only three hours per week intion on the Child Development Supple- hour per week has not changed overdirect parental engagementwith childrenment to the Panel Study of Income dy- the period. Of the activities we exam-was found in two-parent families with an namics or to order a copy of our reports ined, reading is the activity that is associ-employed mother compared to two-par-please visit our web sit at www.isr.umich/ ated with better reading comprehension ent families in which the mother was notsrc/chilcklevelopment/home.htrnl. Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 1.7 Around the Country

West Virginia Almost relocate would have to come to the court Thompson got involved because her Gets Strong Shared with a new parenting plan, and show that"significant other" has had difficulty for Parenting Law the move is for a "legitimate purpose,"three years in obtaining adequate access Effort foiled by Governor and not to frustrate the access of the childto his five-year old son. His former wife Underwood to the other parent. said she did not have to give him more The proposed law also providedaccess, and that the state was not going The Governor of West Virginia,make-up of missed visitation, and civil to change the law for him. "Well, the Cecil Underwood, saying he likes jointpenalties of a fine of $100 for the firstlegislature did," said Thompson, "and custody and mediation, but dislikes es-offense, $500 for the second offense, andwe are going to stay at it." tablishment ofa proposed $1,000 for the third of- elected family court, ve- fense of interference with Write to your state toed a presumption for access (visitation). Inter- legislators asking them to shared parenting that had ference could also have pass a similar law been overwhelming been grounds for chang- in your state. passed by the West Vir- ing the "allocation of re- ginia legislature. sponsibilities." West Virginia has "The bill would have long been a bastion for done away with the pre- Colorado Allocates sole custody, and support- sumption that the parent Parental Responsibilities ers of shared parenting who is the primary plan to tryagain nextyear. caregiver gets custody," Two years ago, Colorado passed leg- 'The attempt is to du- said Ginger Thompson ofislation for enforcement of parenting plicate post-divorce what Charleston, the presidenttime, meaning that courts are required to expedite requests for enforcement of occurred pre-divorce," Ginger Thompson lead advocacy of the West Virginia Alli- ance for Two Parents. parenting time, by fines, bonds, and said House Judiciary efforts to help give West Virginia The proposal also cre-make-up of visitation. Chairman Rick Staton, a children moms and dads. strong supporter of the ated a system of elected Now, as of February 1, 1999, all ref- bill. family law judges to hearerences to custody of minor children For example, "if one parent alwaysdomestic relations cases. have been deleted from state statues and took the kid to Little League practices 'We had effective, genuine lobbying replaced with an "allocation of parental before (the divorce) that doesn't meanefforts of several grass roots, including responsibilities." For example, litigating now that stops just because it's not theirgrandparents' groups and fathers'parents are required to submit to the weekend," Staton said. groups, coming together under the Alli-court comprehensive parenting plans. The new law would have mandatedance, and making a sensible argument,"The "best interest of the child" also now parents to attend parent educationsaid Thompson, explaining the surpris-includes "the abilityof the parent to place classes, and then sit down and work outing strong legislative vote in favor of thethe child's needs before their own." Ac- a shared parenting plan. bill. "And we picked up some press sup-tivist Ken Ward predicts this will reduce If the parents couldn't work out a the alienation of children. plan, they would have been required to When there was a stalemate between 'The whole thought behind these participate in professional mediation.the West Virginia House and Senatechanges are that children are not prop- And if that didn't work, then court. over two versions of the bill, Governorerty and they're not something to win in Separated parents would have been Underwood, a Republican, assisted in re-a fight between the parents. These laws primarily affected, but people alreadysolving the process. But he vetoed the take the fight right out of custody, which divorced would have had one year to ask final product, saying domestic violencewill reduce litigation." the court to work out a new co-parentinggroups lobbied against the legislation For more information, consult Colo- plan. It was unclear whether the proposalSupporters said domestic violence vic- rado revised statues Title 14, Article 10, applied to unwed parents. tims were protected under the bill. or consult the webpage of Fathers for The bill also provided for a new fi- Richard Neely exercised a heavy in- Equal Rights in Colorado, www.ffer.com nancial child support formula that Staton fluence against joint custody when he was said was more fair to middle class par-a longtime member of the West Virginia ents. Supreme Court and its chief justice. Write to your state Whereas relocation by one parent inNeely is now in private law practice in legislators asking them to the past was easy, relocation was ex-Charleston. pass a similar law. pected to be harder to obtain under the 'Times have changed," said Thomp- new law, because parents who wish toson. Page 18 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 Mandated Mediation in Nebraska Chapter News The Nebraska Supreme Court re- CRC Provides Access Programs in Washington, D.C. cently approved an amendment to Rule 4-3 of the rules of the Fourth Judicial Judges and other city officials spokeneutral drop-offand pick-up site for chil- Court which requires all parties to do-at a press conference to announce ac-dren, supervised access/visitation, and mestic relations matters involving chil-cess/visitation services for residents ofparenting education classes. dren to attend a parenting education the District of Columbia provided by Na- The hotline and services are pro- program within sixty days from receipttional CRC and its Washington, D.C. vided with funds from the District's child of service in process. This includes dis-chapter. support office, and supervised by the solution of marriage, determination of Thepress D.C. Superior paternity, and visitation (parenting time) conference was Court. requests. Parties are also required toheldatthe Superior prepare a Parenting Plan, including childHillcrest Court ChiefJudge custody, visitation (parenting time),Children's Center Eugene N. grandparenting time, and other issuesin the Shaw area Hamilton, who relating to children. of the nation's with his wife has No trial date will be scheduled untilcapital on Febru- raised more than attendance at parenting education hasary 9, 1999, and 80 children in fos- been completed and mediation has beencarriedthat ter care, and Cor- attempted, provided however, that fail-evening on all poration Counsel

, ure or refusal to participate shall notfour D.C.'s major ri!i;,11;d1b John Ferren, a delay entry ofa final judgement by morelocal TV net- CRC Legislative Intern Ta'Mora Jones with Superior former judge, who than six months. works, the affili- Court ChiefJudge Eugene Hamilton at CRC's Press supervises the District's child sup- ates of ABC, Conference The Role of the Mediator CBS, NBC and port office, spoke The role of the mediator in disputesFox. about the excellent opportunity the pro- will be to assist parents to communi- Children of divorced, unwed or sepa- grams offer to help children and families. cate and to make voluntary, informed rated parents may visit with the non-cus- One of the highlights of the press choices in an effort to find a mutuallytodial parents at a neutral, non-threaten-conference was seeing a father hold his acceptable resolution concerning theiring atmosphere, and their parents can be4 year old son whom he is seeing more child or children. The mediator will behelped with parenting issues generally. frequently, he said, thanks to the CRC impartial, neutral, and unbiased toward The National CRC office operates aprogram. the parents. Mediation ethics derive"hotline" for District of Columbia resi- Get funding for a hotline and neu- from the respect the mediator has fordents, at 202-544-3900, and providestral drop-off and pick-up site in your the uniqueness of each parent and fam- information, resources and referrals. community. Network with groups inter- ily, their values, dignity, competence The Washington, D.C. chapter,ested in family issues to see who has and right to self-determination. headed by Frank Banner, provides themoney for such projects! Qualities and qualifications of the mediator will facilitate the parents' abil- ity to create a new or modify an already Ask for Downward Modifications existing parenting plan for their child or children. The final agreement must Nick Young, di-the entire process. be approved by the court. rector of Child Sup- "If non-custodial parents are paying port Enforcementthrough the system, they are already a From "For Our Children," Vol.1, Division for the State client or customer and are entitled to No. 1, by CRC of Nebraska, describing of Virginia, urgeshave the benefit of child support ser- the mediation program in Nebraska be- non-custodial par-vices," said Young. ing administered by the chapter, under ents to apply for ser- a federally-funded access grant for the vices from child sup- state of Nebraska. port offices, includ- CRC would like to hear State and Support ing review and down- from any parents who seek Write to your state Director Says You ward modification of relief from any child legislators asking that Should Ask for their orders, if war- support offices. Send your divorce mediation be Downward Mod, ranted, and to en- success, or lack of success required in your state. Where Appropriate sure equity through stories, to CRC. Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 19 Inside CRC

Former Hill Aide Mediation, Moveaway ents fight over this number, custodial Helps CRC Help parents trying to keep access below the Leslee Newman, ID., who has beencut -off, while some non-custodial parents Rebecca Roberts-Malamis, isgiving free consultations on move-awayfight to make it higher, in a battle over CRC's new Legislative Director. She is issues to CRC members, is available formoney. helping CRC to ask Congress to notmediation consultations (at a fee). The CRC guideline cancels out both pass the anti-joint custody amendmentLeslee, who is a trained mediator, canproblems, because it is based on the as- which is Sec. 241 of Violence Againstbe reached at 714-282-1515. Her hus-sumption that some access/visitation Women Act (see elsewhere in this is-band Don Smith, Ph.D., clinical psy-takes place, and in a slowly increasing sue). Rebecca was a legislative attor-chologist, is available for child custodyway, so that an adjustment is based on ney for Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) onevaluations. Don's number is 714 -939-the actual access a child has to a non- Capitol Hill for nine years, and later6678. Don and Leslee are both in Or-custodial parent. worked as a Washington representativeange County, California, but can handle In such event, more money is being for the Chubb Group of Insurance Com-cases anywhere in the country. spent directly on the child, so somewhat panies. She left that job to be an at-home less money would need to be transferred mom for her son Billy. Now that Billy is to the other parent. 4 years old, she is venturing forth, and Get a Better Guideline in To obtain a copy of "Child Support volunteered to help CRC. Rebecca is Your State Guidelines: The Next Generation," married to Peter Malamis, a vice-presi- which contains the CRC guideline, dent of a medical consulting firm in The best chance to have your statephone (202) 401-9383, which is the northern Virginia. adopt a newer, fairer financial child sup- Office of Child Support Enforcement's port guideline is to have a state agencyChild Support Reference Center, lo- or commission invite Don Bieniewiczcated at 370 L'Enfant Promenade SW, Two CD's Mention CRC to testify in your state. Washington, D.C. 20447. There is no Bieniewicz is author of the CRC guide-charge for the publication, as long as Author, pop line, published by the federal governmentsupplies last. singer, and CRCin its booklet entitled "Child Support Copies of the CRC guideline itself Spokesperson Guidelines: The Next Generation." as published by the government are Dwight Twilley The guidelines in effect in almost allavailable from CRC for $5 for CRC

...0111 has two CD's be-states, which were prepared by Robertmembers, and $10 for non-members, ing releasedWilliams, of Policy Studies, Inc., Den-including shipping and handling. back -to -hackver, for federal government distribution If you would like to contact Don thisSpring.some years ago, are all based on zero Bieniewicz for his assistance in getting Twilley wrote "Questions They are; visitation, Williams has admitted. this guideline adopted in your state, from Dad" * "Between Furthermore, such guidelines havewrite him at 10004 Fairoaks Road, the Cracks," aa "cliff effect," a magic number, suchVienna, VA 22181, contact him via collection of rarities and unreleasedas 30% or 35%, where an adjustmentemail at [email protected], or phone tracks spanning 20 years on the Not Line of the guideline kicks in. So some par-703-255-0837 (evenings). label; and * "Tulsa," the new Dwight Twilley studio release, on the Cooper label. Twilley acknowledges the Children's Updated Parenting Directory Available Rights Council in the credits on both releases. The new update of CRC's International Parenting Directory is mailable. Up- Dwight and his fiance Jan Allison, dated as of September, 1998, this 7th edition of the directory contains infor- his artistic director and part-time record- mation on more than 1,200 groups and individuals across the country and ing engineer, plan to be married later abroad working in areas such as custody, access/visitation, and prevention of this year. Twilley, a native of Tulsa, parental kidnapping. The Directory, an invaluable networking tool, is avail- wrote the book "Questions from Dad" able in hardcopy or disk for $12 for CRC members, and $15 for non-mem- several years ago, a book whose tips bers. CRC thanks Paul Robinson and Ed Mudrak for their hard work in up- provide ways for parents to keep in dating this Directory. The hardcopy is updated once a year; the disk is up- dated frequently. Order from CRC and specify which version you want touch with their kids. hardcopy or disk. The book is available from CRC, in the catalog elsewhere in this issue. Page 20 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 Donors are AppreciatedNon-Custodial Parents Will Pay for our Children's CRC thanks everyone who con-Health Insurance, but Why Can't We Have any Say tributes to CRC in the charity drive on Federal Panel? that takes place in all federal govern- ment offices every Fall. CRC is listed A federal commission has beenbe part of a parenting plan developed as number 1513 in the Children'sformed to find ways to improve the en-by parents that includes both parents forcement of in their children's life, he said. Charities of America listing, whichmedical child The group will assess the Na- is part of the Independent Charitiessupport obliga- tional Medical Support Notice, of America. We also thank those whotions for unin- which is to be issued under interim contribute to CRC in the Washing-sured children. regulations later this year. The no- ton, D.C., and San Francisco (Bay The panel is tice will provide a uniform manner Area) United Way campaigns. expectedto to inform employers about the need We also thank those who contrib-hold hearings to enroll a non-custodial parent's ute to CRC through their Unitedaround the child in employer-provided health Way in some other part of the coun-countrythis insurance coverage. try, where we are not listed, butyear to elicit tes- The panel's schedule for hear- where employers may sometimes al-timony from ings has not yet been set. To find out citizens and offi- low employees to designate CRC. cials who have if the panel will visit your part of the CRC depends on volunteer help and ideas on what Shalala country, contributions for its existence. works, and what phone If you wish to make your tax-deduct-doesn't work, in the health insur- Michael ible contribution directly to CRC, sendance field. 1 Kharfen, it to CRC, 300 I Street, Suite 401, Wash- The panel was announced in 2 0 2 / 4 0 1 - ington, D.C. 20002. March, 1999 by Health and Human 9215, or Services Secretary Donna E. Shalala Sharon Intellectual Property and Labor Secretary Alexis Herman. Morrissey Protection Shalala said there are more than 10 2 0 2 / 2 1 9 - million uninsured children. 8921, at the Charlie Ruggiero, who obtained trade- Twenty-three people were ap- U.S. Depart- mark protection for the name and logopointed to the Panel, many of them ment of "Children's Rights Council" and therepresenting HMOs and insurance 41! Health and name and logo for our newsletter "Speakcompanies. Five representatives of Herman Human Ser- Out for Children" is a specialist in trade-groups speaking for custodial moth- vices (HHS). mark, patent, copyright, and licensing law.ers were appointed, and one represen- The panel's recommendations are tative of an unwed parent organization.expected to be part of a report from He is a partner in the law firm of Ohlandt,Not one representative of groups for Greeley, Ruggiero and Perle, 1 Landmark Shalala and Herman to Congress in children and non-custodial parents2000, leading to possible further legis- Square, Suite 903, Stamford, CT 06901,were appointed, even though Secretary telephone (203) 327-6067. Shalala said in her announcement oflation. the panel's formation that many "non- Family Court Information custodial parents" air: nut providing. Write to Secretary Donna coverage. Shalala, U.,S. Department CRC Advisor Leslie Ann Brownrigg CRC President David L. Levy, who has information and research on whywas invited to testify at the panel's open- of Health of Human every state should have a unified Familying session, said that California CRC co- Services, Washington, Court. Contact CRC on how to reachordinator Patricia Gehlen finds that D.C. 20447, asking that Leslie. health insurance is available for chil- dren in California for as low as $74 a non-custodial parents be Thanks Julie and Rob month. heard from when Medical CRC thanks Julie Maggiacomo and Levy spoke of the need for more in- Child Support Panel Rob Whitfield for volunteer services tocentives for parents to be part of children's lives. Health insurance could meets this year. kids and CRC. CRC Info Your group may already operate a "Hotline" for information and referrals, Fax 202-546-4272 and you could start a neutral drop-off and pick-up site for children at a local Website: www.vix.com/crc church, both of which could be funded. Go for the funds! Call CRC for infor- mation. E-mail: [email protected]

Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 21 ;Pi za Court Cases Surviving Parent Gets Jan. 19 overruled a provision in aCourt told the trial court to consider the Custody couple's divorce decree that custody ofmother's plan to move. A Nevada stat- Probate courts lack the authority tothe children would change automati-ute provides that, if custody has been decide guardianship petitions involvingcally to the father if the mother moved established, and a parent having joint minor children if a child's parent ob-more than 50 miles from Upton, WYcustody intends to move outside the jects, the Rhode Island Supreme CourtThe court said that a custodial parent'sstate with the child, he or she mustob- has ruled. constitutional right of travel carries withtain the parent's permission to request The Probate Coin may only appointit the right to take the children with her.court authorization. After deciding on such a guardian after the Family CourtThe mother decided to pursue a newjoint custody, the trial court judge said has terminated the objecting parent's pa- career after the divorce, and was ac-that, under this statute, it was inconsis- rental rights, said Chief-Justice Joseph R. cepted into the graduate program at thetent to conclude that both parents were Weisberger. And that will only happen,University of Wyoming. However, the capable of sharing custody, and then he said, if a Family Cot trt judge makes a program was available only at theallow one parent to defeat that conclu- finding that the father or mother is unfit.school's campus in Laramie. A trialsion by requesting permission to move "Unless the court finds egregiouscourt had denied the mother's motionwith the child. The mother said she had behavior on the parent's part,"to modify the divorce decree so that she exhausted her career opportunities as a Weisberger said, state law mandates thatcould take her sons to Laramie with her.secretary in Las Vegas, and claimed that "reasonable efforts shall be made to pre- (Watt v. Watt, Wyo SupCt., No. 96-the move to West Virginia would allow serve and unify families:" 322, 1/19/99) her to finish college and obtain a teach- The ruling by the high court came in ing certificate. a case involving a 7-year-oldNewport Relocation and (McGuinness v. McGuinness, Nev boywhose mother died ofcancer in Janu- Conditional Change of SupCt, No. 30836,12/30/98 ary 1997. Shortly before herdeath, the Custody (CRC note: Get real, court, are there mother, who had sole custody, placed no secretarial career opportunities or custody of the boy with her cousin. The Nevada Supreme Court ruledcolleges in Nevada?) The father, Timothy Carr objectedFeb. 12 that a lower court was wrong to to the guardianship petitionfiled by thedeny a mother's petition to take her chil- Hague Convention and cousin. He argued that the Probate Courtdren with her to Japan in order to be Visitation lacked authority to award permanentwith her husband, who was in the armed guardianship of a minor child over theforces. The father had sought a condi- The U.S. Court for the Eastern Dis- opposition of a surviving parent. tional change of custody, which wouldtrict of Pennsylvania said Dec. 15,1998, Weisberger pointed out that Rhodebecome effective if the mother movedthat the Hague Convention on Interna- Island case law states "parents arc the to Japan. However, the Supreme Courttional Child Abduction does not cover natural guardians of their children" andsaid such a conditional change of cus-enforcement ofvisitation. The parents "on the death of a parent to whom suchtody would force the mother to choose divorced in Texas and the mother was custody has been awarded, the right tobetween the children and her husband.awarded custody of the children. After custody automatically reverts to the sur-The Supreme Court said that condi-the divorce, the father moved to En- viving spouse." tional orders changing custody shouldgland. He claimed that the mother then Thus, what Heidi Carr's cousin isbe made only if the judge affirmativelydenied him access to the children, and asking the Probate Court to do is to ter-determines that the child's best interestsrefused to provide information about the minate the father's "natural guardian-are served, taking all factors, not justchildren, including her current address ship and custody rights" and award herthe move, into consideration. and telephone number. The court said custodysomething, Weisberger said, (Hayes v. Gallacher, Nov. SupCt.,that the Hague Convention provides no only the Family Court can do. No.31191,2/12/99) remedy for interference with visitation He pointed out. however, that pro- or access rights unless there has been a bate courts still have the authority to Relocation and Joint wrongful removal of a child. Because appoint guardians for orphans and mi- Custody the mother had custody of the children, said. nors who do not have objecting parents. no removal was involved, the court A trial court should have consideredThe court told the father that the proper Relocation and a mother's wish to move to West Vir-place for his action was a state court that Automatic Custody ginia with the child before it decidedhas authority to enforce and modify the Change that joint custody was in the best inter-Texas divorce decree. ests of the child, the Nevada Supreme (Bromley y. Bromley, DC EPa, No. The Wyoming Supreme Court onCourt ruled Dec. 30. The Supreme98-MC-0180, 12/15/98) Continued on page 23 Page 22 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 9e Court Cases Continued from page 22 Concealment of Child father, who lived in Arkansas. The ment v. Clemons. Ark CtApp, No. 98- mother had assigned her child support542, 2/3/99) A mother's willful concealment ofrights to the state of Missouri, where (CRC note: Once more a court re- her son from his father since 1978 doesshe lived before moving with the childfuses to consider the emotional health not preclude her from collecting fromto California. The appeals court saidand rights of children) . the father the child support arrearagesthat, under the Uniform Interstate Fam- that have accrued during the period ofily Support Act (UIFSA) a court may All of the above cases except the first concealment, the Arkansas Court ofnot consider collateral matters, includ-one are summarized from Family Law Appeals ruled Feb. 3. The mother hading visitation, when faced with the is-Reporter. They appear here by permis- moved to California, and had refusedsue of enforcing child support. sion of the publisher, The Bureau of any contact between the child and the (Office of Child Support Enforce-National Affairs, Inc.

Apply for Funds Write to Congress! We have a new Congress. Do you in Third Round of Access Grants! know who your Representatives and Senators are? Write and get acquainted. Under the third round of access (visitation) grants sched- Tell them politely what you think about uled for the summer of 1999, each state will double what it what is happening to children and fami- receives, according to David Arnaudo, an officer in the fed- lies these days. Get acquainted with the eral office of Child Support Enforcement (OCSE), who over- staff membersworking for the Represen- sees the grant process to the states. tative and Senator who handle our types Small states each received only $50,000 for each of the of family issues. Then when you write first two years of the grants. But each state will receive at least later in the session asking them to vote $100,000 for the third and successive years, according to the for or against an issue, they know you! Arnaudo Says More 1996 Welfare Reform law, which authorized the grants. Funds Are Available Funding for small states in the third year will go up, while funding for larger states, some of which received $600,000 to Write to House members at: $1 million in each of the first two years, will receive less, said Arnaudo. Representative Non-profit groups are eligible to receive funds from the states, and are urged (name of your Representative) to contact state officials in charge of the grants. For information on who handles House of Representatives the grants in your states, contact CRC. CRC will help you write a grant proposal, Washington, D.C. 20515 if we can. Write to Senators at: Senator (name ofyour Senator) U.S. Senate Washington, D.C. 20510 Sonny Burmeister Award Get to know your State CRC will present its first Sonny Burmeister Child Advocacy Award at our legislators, too! 1999 conference in September. The award is named for Sonny Burmeister, longtime head of the George CRC activist, who died in an accident in Febru- ary, 1996. Sonny was a mentor and inspiration for many people around the Bleicken Ran for country. Submit your nomination to the chairman of the committee, Ed Gadrix, Congress Esquire, Gadrix and Associates, 770 Old Roswell Place, Suite B200, Roswell, Eric Bleicken, a former CRC GA 30076, phone 678-461-9525. Ed was a friend of Sonny's, as were other member ran for Congress in Massa- members of the committee, including Elizabeth Hickey and Mike Oddenino. chusetts. Eric received 40 percent of the vote, despite having spent only a fraction ofwhat his opponent incum- bent spent. Still, not all of Eric's costs Change of Address have been paid off. To make a con- To keep newsletters and other materials coming, please notify CRC three weeks in ad- tribution, contact Eric Bleicken, vance of any address change. Send old and new addresses to CRC, 300 "1" Street N.E., 170B Pleasant St., S. Yarmouth, Suite 401. Washington, DC 20002. MA 02664, phone 508/760-2045.

Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 23 25 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Equal Parents' Week July 26 August 1, 1999 by Patti Diroff CRC's National Coordinator of Equal Parents' Week

Buy or Make a Ribbon We urge all of you who cannot orga-of both parents in children's lives to meet Like This and Tie it to anize or attend a public vigil, or who do their children's need for that love, we Tree or Antenna or Wear not have one taking place near you, to have lost the ability to see, feel and touch it July 26 to August 1 hold a "Home Vigil" by lighting a candle the very thing we live, breathe and feel in your home for at least 15 minutes, onas the very heart and soul of our human- As the national sponsor of EqualJuly 28 at 8:30 p.m. ity, our own human love. This is what Parents' Week 1999 (July 26 August A "Home Vigil" can be held by any-we mean when we say, "The Best Par- 1), CRC encourages its chapters, mem-one; a single person living alone, andent is Both Parents" bers, and supporters to join in sending ainclude as many people as you wish, so View CRC's Equal Parents' Week united message throughout the U.S. dur- family and friends can be invited. website at http://members.tripod.com/ ing Equal Parents' Week. CRC will once again be network-epweek Our message reaches to the heart ofing with other organizations to invite Contact Patti Diroff with questions families everywhere by advocating that the them to participate in Equal Parents'and comments, and to notify her of right of a child to be raised and nurturedWeek. Please spread the word to friends purple ribbon activities, and public and by parents, and the right of families to ex-and families to tie purple ribbons andhome candlelight vigils. ist and function as a family, are civil andhold vigils to make our message a na- She is offering a free Equal Parents' human rights inalienable to all families. tional mandate. Week button to the first 100 people who CRC asks you to please wear and Joint custody is a choice for uncon- contact her and provide a solid commit- tie purple ribbons (to trees, door knobs,ditional love and sacrifice. ment that they will hold a Home Vigil. bikes, car antennas, etc.) Monday July Fundamentally, all components ofShe can be contacted at 909/591-3689. 26 through Sunday, August 1, 1999 tocourts and government need to focus onYou can e-mail Patti Diroff at send this message. joint custody to realize that it workspattidiroff@worldnetattnet On Wednesday, July 28, at 8:30when we put our children first. CRC's supports National Parents' p.m., we will observe "A Moment in our If we as a society fail to recognizeDay July 25, which is sponsored by the Hearts, Moment of Solidarity" as ourthat there is no substitute for the love Parenting Coalition International (for- national event, by holding candlelightof a parent in children's lives and theremerly the National Parents Day Coali- vigils and "Home Vigils." is no substitute for the equal presencetion), in Washington, D.C.

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A Family Divided is on target about the social ill that faces society today.I liken it to social cancer.' -- Sidney Siller, Chairman/Founder of the National Organization for Men

How to Purchase A FAMILY DIVIDED Bookstores Internet: www.amazon.com Publisher: 1.800.421.0351 (Prometheus Books) CRC Catalog of Resources

Page 24 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 NationalAffiliate Organizations and Chapters National Affiliate Delaware Massachusetts North Carolina/South Carolina Texas James A. Morning, president Frank E. Anderson. coordinator Fred Wall. Jr. coordinator Children's Rights Coalition Organizations CRC of Delaware 617/289-8331 509 N. Seventh Street (Affiliate) PO Box 1311 Wilmington, NC 28401 P.O. Box 12961 Mothers Without Ted Ell, president Dover, DE 19901 910/762-4952 Capitol Station Custody (MW/OC) CRC of Cape Cod phone/fax: 302/734-8522 email: Austin, TX 78711-2961 Jennifer (sham, coordinator 1 Emily's Lane e-mail: [email protected] phone 512/499-8CRC Sandwich, MA 02563-2794 http: www/ jmorningdbellatlantic.net fax512/499-8056 phone 508/420-1701 North Carolina motherswithoutcu.stody.org email: bigredlefathers.org District of Columbia fax 508/428-5976 Dan Carrigan. Director Steptunily Association Frank Banner. coordinator Center for Children of Separation Vermont George Kelly, chairman of America (SAA) CRC of the District of Columbia and Divorce Laurie Casey, coordinator Concerned Fathers of Mr. Larry Kallemeyn, Executive Hillcrest Children's Center 4950 Park Road The Family Tree Access Center Massachusetts, Inc. Director 1325 "W" Street N.W. 3rd Charlotte, NC 28209 1 Scale Avenue, Suite 62 P0Box 2768 650J Street. Suite 205 floor 704/522-1331 Howe Center Springfield, MA 01101-2768 Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 Washington, D.C. 20009 Rutland, VT 05701 phone 413/736-7432 Ohio 402/477-7837 phone; 202/232-6100 802/775-0068 fax413/732-3867 Margaret Wuwert. coordinator Joint membership in SAA and fax: 202/483-4560 CRC of Ohio CRC: $35.00 for the first year. Michigan Vhldnia Florida Bartrara Toth, coordinator CRC of Northwest Ohio John Vaughan, president CRC Chapters Kris Kline, coordinator CRC of Michigan 2745 Sagamore Road CRC of Virginia, Tidewater chapter CRC of Florida Toledo, OH 43606 PO Box 61245 P0Box 653 CRC of Japan 355 Shure Drive Edmore, Ml 48829-0653 419/472-1471 Virginia Beach, VA 23462 Walter fiends Ellenton. FL 34222 Parents and Children for Equality 757/463-KIDS 517/427-5774 P.O. Box 583 phone 941/722-8688 Kevin O'Brien, director email: johnv@picusnetcom Max Meadows, VA 24360 fax813/620-9068 Minnesota P 0 Box 8805 website 540/637-3576 Bruce Kaslcubat coordinator Cincinnati, OH 45208 www.childrens-rights.org Georgia email: emarieearthlink.net CRC of Minnesota 513/624-7223 Harry A. Prillaman, coordinator Murray Steinberg, president and 5905 Chateau Road N.W. CRC of Georgia Brian Thomas Rochester. MN 55901 Oregon CRC of Virginia, Richmond 1645 Williams Drive 4-18-15-903 Kamiki Tazawa phone and fax: (507) 289-5745 Roy Nolan, coordinator chapter Marietta. GA 30066-0486 9244 Royal Grant Drive SetaRaya-Ku (call before faxing) CRC of Oregon Tolcyo, Japan 156 phone: 678/643-5924 P 0 Box 2095 Mechanicsville, VA 23116 fax:1)78/643-5923 Portland, OR 97208 phone 804/559-7090 011-81-3-5317-4371 Brucektedeskmedia.com email: phone 503/232-8630 fax 804/559-7072 Alabama Harry_Prillaman@VNF:T.IBM.CONI Missouri Fax 503/233-9390 email: Familyrcejuno.com Call CRC for information Scott Field, chair INnnois CRC of F.astern Missouri Patnsyivarda Paul Robinson. president Alaska Terry Cady. cor ardinator Michael E. Jones, axmlinator Fathers United for Equal Rights P.O. Box 220661 Diana Buffington, CRC Alaska CRC of Illinois Kirkwood, MO 63122 CRC of Pennsylvania and Women's Coalition coordinator, is in the process of 905 Wayne Avenue P 0 Box 1323 314/963-4668 RD 2, Box 290 moving. Call CRC for information Deerfield, 1L60015 Arlington, VA 22210-1323 alt. phones 314/878-1262 Seward, PA 15954 phone 847/374-0461 phone 814/446-4207 phone: 703/451-8580 Arkecrna 314/838-7092 Call CRC for information fax 312/322-3553 em il: koltoninewans.net fax 814/446-5935' fax: 301-568-5812 email: email: paulmrearixaxes.s.org Michael Nieland, M.D.. president Arkansas mynk71A0pnrcligy.com K.'iryn Stone, secretary-treasurer CRC of Pittsburgh Bill Bailey. Ph.D. CRC of Southwestern Missouri Washington State 460 S. Graham Si. Jamaica Filgo CRC of Arkansas Indiana 1701 S. Fort Avenue David Dinn, coordinator Pittsburgh, PA 15232 CRC of Washington 1685 Boston Place Springfield. MO 65807 412/441-2200 P.O. Box 222 Fayetteville. AR 72703 CRC of Indiana 417/862-1592 2625 N. Meridian, .202 Arlington. WA 98223 501/575-2058 (w) Anne and Michael Poliakoff, chairs Indianapolis. IN 46208-7703 Nebraska/Iowa 541/482-6881 501/444-0172 (h) CRC of Harrisburg-Capitol Region Phone: 317/925-5433 Lyn andWilliam Huerter, e-mail: [email protected] 2654 N. 2d Street California Fax: 317/926-I)INN coordinators Harrisburg, PA 17110 Wiscorsin Will Brown, president e-mail: Mike Hyland. president 717/213-0183 Nancy Kellogg, c(x)rdinator CRC of California I mondaysedukerencom CRC of Nebraska email: CRC of Wisconsin I' 0 Box 1,4181 BO. lk arc 373147 max [email protected] Sacramento, CA 95860-0811 Grandparent Rights in New P.O. Box 452 Strength (G.ILLN.S.) Omaha. NE 68137-5387 Racine. W153401.0452 phone 916/488-KIDS South Carolina -See North Kay and Ray Berryhill. co-dinxtors 402/330-3353 (voice & fax) 414/619 -3024 fax 916/441-2024 Carolina email: chilcheneradiks.net email: acwOix.netcom.com 0(189 CR 5 email: kunilybottanvecom.nes Corunna. IN 46730 webette: www.hampbet/cama Tennessee Patricia Gehlen. coordinator 219/281-2384 David Courson, coordinator (916)635-2590 NewJersey CRC of Tennessee Dominick Romano. president Regional chapters and directors Iowa -See Nebraska/Iowa 2120 Griffintown Road New Jersey Council for Children's Las Angeles, Keith Fagan White Bluff. TN 31708-5207 Kentucky Rights (NICCR) 818/705-4752 615/327-8667 Kevin O'Brien P0Box 316 Placer and Nevada counties, CRC of Kentucky Pluckemin, NJ 07978-0316 John Castello P 0 Ikrx 74126 973/694-9323; FAX 443-9358 CRC WANTS CHAPTERS IN 916/489-3482 Dayton. KY 41074-0126 email: DANIDOMeaol.com Riverside. Ted I I ill EVERY STATE!!! 513/624-7223 909/781-7277 New York Vol°, Kitty Jackson Louisiana Kim Boedecker-Frey. coordinator For development of chapters in states that do not 916/753-8867 Call CRC for information CRC of New York 231 Main Street. Suite I yet have CRC chapters, contact for northwest states is Colorado Maryland Vestal, NY 13850 Mark Entrekin. coordinator Jim Babcook at 402/792-2271. and for northeast states, Harvey Walden. coordinator phone/fax (607)785-9338 CRC of Colorado CRC of Maryland Ron Pitcher, 513/755-2932. 4715 Ranch Circle 417 Pershing Drive 'llunnas'Ihornton, CRC of New For development of chapters iii other states, contact Colorado Springs, CO 80918- Silver Spring, MI) 20910-4254 York City the CRC office, at (202) 547-6227. 4118 301/588-0262 CRC of New York City phone 719/548-8798 welbte: 499 Ft. Washington Ave...31) join CRC, then ask for a copy of the 100-page CRC fax 719/597-2218 lutp://membersiripod.com./ New York, NY 10033 booklet that explains everything you need to know about Mail: aichildrendaoLeom -mdcrc/ Iodine: 212/431-7724 affiliation. The cost of the booklet is $15 for non-mem- home: 212/740-7008 Rob and Sandra Snow. chairs email: bers, and $12 for members. CRC of Greater Baltimore crenyaMbetterdivorcescom To form additional chapters in states that already 2 West 39th Street have one or more chapters, contact the state coordina- Baltimore, MD 21218 410/889-9404 tor, existing state chapter head, or CRC national office.

Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 25

ea'. 1.! 3EST COPY AVAILABLE Life members have contributed at least $500 to CRC. Please doublecheck us for accuracy. Let us know of any errors or omissions. Thank you. Lou Adolph Elliott Diamond Walter H. Kuckes Ruth Scheer Paul Alexander David M. Dinn Paul LeBon Brad D. Schultz Asa Baber Jennifer Dumas David L. Levy Mark Seymour Wally Babington Ted Ell Dennis J. Lewis Lewis A. Sierra Travis Ballard Robert Eisenbart The Levian Foundation, Inc. John E. Siegmund John Bauserman, Sr. Family and Society Institute Israel Lichtenstein Peter Solaris Joan Berkowitz Hayden C. Fisbeck Robert Lipsky Donald K. Smith L & M Foundation ElliottJ. Friedel and Ann Marini Charles and Donna Stewart Don Bieniewicz Steven Glinski George R. McCasland Robert K. Thomas Piotr Blass Jonathan M. Goodson Gary Maxwell Mr. and Mrs. Danielle Thu Kamil Botros Tom Greco Stuart Miller William A. Toto Sr. Dennis C. Boytim Thomas E. Harries Michael L. Oddenino Andrew P. Ulsher Thomas D. Cabot III Robert Heisley Abe Pollin Virginia Wellington Cabot Cliff Clark Ronald K. Henry PNC Mortgage Corp. Foundation Stuart Cochran Michael Hirschensohn of America Searle Whitney Maureen Corbett Melvin Hottrnan Elina Hum Pratt Johnny P. Wilson Charles D. Deckard Anna D. Keller Deborah R. Riggs Rex Wright Ralph and Frances George Kelly Jack L. Robinson Andrew Zwemamenn Della Camera Bashir Kouchaji Gary Santora

We thank all contributors who have joined, renewed their membership, contributed to CRC, or ordered materialsfrom CRC from October 1, 1998 through December 31,1998. Gene Abney L Evans Ron Johnson John Money Robert Scrivener Lou Adolf Dean Fitzgerald Thomas Johnson James Moore Jeff Seat Evangeline Alexandris Stephen Fleming Michael Kaiser Lawrence Morgan Gale Shafer Alicia Alinaya Winn Forkner Aldoren Kauzlarich Bill/Shirley Mowell John Shanton Marion Arbogast Steven Fuard Colleen Kavan Maggie Mudd Samuel Shaw P Asta Lyle Fullmer David King John Mullany Charles Sheppard Kevin Baggett Steven Gaesser Janet King Greta Murray Andrew Sherriff Larry Balderston Larry Gardner Steven Klingelhoefer MaryAnn Nadeau Arnold Shienvold Greg Beard Quint Garnos Joe Kritsky John Nelson Art Silknitter Randy Beazley Gary Garriot Richard D Kuhn Barry Nicholls Phyllis Simon John Belongie Jeff/Shiu-on Giuverick Patrick Lacy Norma Nissenson Walter Slone Boris Bergus Carolyn George Michael Lamb Lattice Norwood Robert Snow Rebecca Black Kevvam Gen la Joe Landy Angela O'Connor Allen /Karam Stone Leonard Blayer Michael Giuliano Michael Lane Hugh O'Donnell Jeff Stratton James Bologna Jay Goldberg Tom Lange Richard O'Neil Mike Sullivan James Boslough Marla Gorfain John/Kristi LeDuc Carole Olson William Summers Patrick Boyle Joseph Gottesman Wladimir Lemberg Marc Orlick Linel Svetlichnaya Sam Brunelli Charles Gower Melanee Leventhal Frank Pace Patrick Tang Martin Burch Mike Graves Wilma Lewis Robert Pasnak Connie Thomas Virgil Chase Martin Griffith Lisa Lindsey Fred Pescatore Freda Thorne John Cimino Gerald Guzi Svenn Lindskold Adam Phillips Univ City Housing Co Joseph Civisca Richard Haire Kevin Lineweber Rochelle Pink Jerry Vara Richard Clapp Robert Harrison Linda Lee Lockwood Steve Popek Kevin Waechter Wilma Cohen-Lewis Reggie Heisler Richard Martin Arthur Popp Stan Wagner Chris Converse Gerrie High to Walter Martin Kim Prestidge Richard Waldron Dan Cook Brian Hill Mark Matthews Steven Pulliam Jason Walsh Thomas CA)okston Donna Hills Gary Maxwell V Rajan Paul Ward Jeff Cooper Ken Hobennan William McCune Bob Redmer Mark Warren Robert Couch Charles Hoeft David Merchant Cindy Riekenberg John Weaver Wayne Covell Dianna Honeywell Peter Mercurio Robert Riley Donald Webb Pat Curren Terry Hoopes Irene Merlin Denis Roberts Jack Wiegand Deborah Datz Mary Hoskovec Paul Millea Cathi Rodgers Wilkie Woodard Jim Dennis Paul Hoskovec Robert Millen Dorene Rurop Gerald Woracek John Ducker Tim Howe Teresa Miller William Schnellbaecher Joseph Young Richard Dziennik Douglas Hyatt Timothy Minor Richard Schoen Robert Eier Carolyn Johnson Paul Mitchell Neil Schreiner Michael Elliott Dennis Johnson David Moen Greg Scott Page 26 Speak Out For ChildrenSpring 1999 4 01 More Chapter News ,ki Amicus Briefs

Continued from page 19 If your case is on appeal, and you Mothers Without Custody on the Internet! would like CRC to consider writing an amicus brief, contact CRC. CRC Mothers Without Custody, a national organization representing America's 2 cannot handle cases at the trial level, million non-custodial mothers, is now a solely on-line presence. and we do not write the main appeal Jennifer Isham, M.A., N.C.C. (nationally certified counselor) and L.C.P.C., brief. An amicus brief is a supple- who was president of MW/OC, is coordinating the website as http:// mental brief, telling the courtwhy this www.motherswithoutcustody.org case is of significance not only to the MW/OC has been an emotional support group for non-custodial mothers. parties in the case, but to other chil- Isham has been counseling non-custodial mothers for 15 years in formal and infor- dren and families We generally need mal settings. She was instrumental in developing the mandated parent education 30 to 60 days before the filing dead- project for separated and divorced parents for McHenry County, Illinois, north of line. CRC is particularly interested in Chicago. cases on appeal that raise constitu- The motto of MW /OC is "Still Love, Still Care, Still There." tional issues relating to a child's right "Legislators and policymakers are often surprised to hear that there are 2 mil- to two parents. lion non-custodial mothers, but it helps them to understand the problems better," said CRC President David L. Levy. "We are delighted that Jennifer Isham is offer- ing a way to help non-custodial mothers." New CRC Chapters in Pennsylvania and Maryland Michael and Anne Poliakoff have formed a new CRC chapter, CRC of Harris- burg-Capitol Region, in Pennsylvania. Michael, who has a Ph.D. in classical litera- Nicholas Kelly ture, is Pennsylvania's Deputy Secretary for Higher Education, while Anne, a Ph.D. in American studies, is president of Citizens for the Arts, a non-profit organization. Nicholas Kelly, the son of Michael is anon-custodial father of three children, Cyrus, 15; Emily, 12, and Abram, longtime custody reform activist 8. Anne is their stepmom. George Kelly, died in an acci- Sandra Snow, Ph.D. and her husband Robert Snow, head the new chapter in dent in late March, 1997, in Baltimore, Maryland's biggest city. Robert is a non-custodial dad who is doing re- Springfield, Massachusetts. search on the Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), and Sandra has worked with Nicholas, a former Marine, was families for 17 years. 25. He leaves his grieving dad, a sister, and his mother. George CRC Book Selling on Amazon.Com Kelly may be reached at Con- cerned Fathers of MA, Inc., P.O. What a pleasant surprise! After negotiations between Paul Robinson of CRC and Box 2768, Springfield, MA Amazon.com, the huge internet book seller agreed to carry the CRC book, 'The Best 01101. Parent is Both Parents." We also thank Bruce Kaskubar of Minnesota CRC for rightly orienting us. Within the first weeks of availability on amazon.com, 25 copies were ordered or sold. You can order the book from amazon.com for the list price of FAMILY FACTS lheBest $10. Parent This is the same price as the book sells from CRC, plus $4 for is Both shipping and handling; but if you want bulk copies at a reduced rate, Photocopy and distribute the Parents order 10 copies or more from CRC for only $4 a copy, resell for the "Family Facts" on page 16! Use as -I k : Rik! list price of $10 each, and make a profit for you or your organiza- hand-outs when visiting the Legisla- li1, lion! ture, disseminating information to the You can help educate judges, policymakers, and others on is- courts or the media, or as a resource sues of concern to you and CRC by giving them a copy. for testimony and Letters to the Edi- For orders from CRC of 20 copies or less, add $5 for shipping (to one address). For tor. "Family Facts" is a regular fea- orders of more than 20 copies, shipping cost is included. ture of this newsletter. Send us your If you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed by David L. Levy, verified facts (with actual copies, just state to whom you would like it autographed (yourself, perhaps your childrengive sources and dates) to "Family Facts," their names) and your autographed copy will be sent to you. CRC.

Spring 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 27

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to policy makers, judges, and interested persons in your state. Send order to CRC y. 7.. Summer/Fall 1999 Vol. 14-No.2 ISSN 1042-3559 Strengthening Families Come to CRC's 12thConference Assisting Children of Unwed Parents, Through Education Sept. 22-26, 1999 Separation and Divorce And Advocacy

The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Phone (202)547-6227

IN THIS ISSUE: Strong Shared Parenting Becomes Letters to Editor 3 in West Virginia By Ginger Thompson The CRC View 4 President, West Virginia Alliance for Two Parents Equal Parents' Week 6

5,600,000 Children Have After two vetoesand physical joint custody. Access to Non-Custodial and a special session of While the new West Virginia family law bill, Sen- Parent Interfered the West Virginia leg- ate Bill 2003, is not everything joint custody advocates With 7 islature, Gov. Cecil wanted, it is much better than the current system, which Underwood (R) signed was based on case law. Until the passage of the new News Flashes 7 into law a measure thatlaw, judges did not have the power to order joint cus- CRC's 12th National drastically changes thetody. Custody was awarded to the parent deemed to Conference 8 way state courts dealbe the primary caretaker; the new law eliminates the with divorce and childprimary caretaker presumption. Senate Created Child's custody. The new law The original proposed bill advocated by the West Day in 1999 8 Ginger Thompson is "one step short" of a Things I'm Learning as I presumption for legal Continued on page 3 Promote my Book 9 Legislation Update 10 Top 10 States Report Released to Major Media It's All About the Children 11 Maine is the best state in which to raise a child, according to the 5th annual rank- Chapter News 12 ing of states compiled by the Children's b Site Information13 Rights Council, and released to the biggest media day in CRC history on July 27. ton 14 Fourteen news cameras covered the Books Videos, press conference on Capitol Hill, at which dios, Buttons .... 15-18 Maine Governor Angus King (I), U.S. Senator Olympia Snowe (R) , Reps. Tho- roily Facts 19. mas Allen (D), and John Baldacci (D), all from Maine, received congratulations from CVMuatity Form 20-21 CRC. ourt Cases 22 CRC spokespeople appeared on The Today Show, CBS This Morning, CNN, nside CRC 23 and numerous radio and TV shows around CRC Staff Work on Top 10 Report Around the Country 24 the country. Associated Press wire service Continued on page 5 "Speak Out for Children" is published by the Children'sRights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. CRC is a member of Levy. Contributors to this issue: Ken Skilling, Kathleen Ballard, David Dinn, Don Bieniewicz, Paul Robinson, Ed Mudrak, and college student interns Eric Boyer, Indiana University of Pennsylvania; Maryellen Dougherty, Wake Forest University; Carrie Dvoranchik, Duke University; Jaime Levi, University of Virginia; Erin McCarthy, William and Mary; Vanitha Muregesan, George Washington University; Stephanie Reich, Brooklyn Law School; Amanda Roisman, Southern Methodist University; Fatima Saadat, Smith College; Ellen Sanders, Smith Col- lege; and Chad Vinansky, Lycoming College. Layout by Sheila Holzberger.

Children's The CRC Charities of America The Children's Rights Counciladversarial process, and providing formission, provided the source ("Re- (CRC) is a nationwide, non-profit IRSemotional and financial child support.printed from the Children's Rights 501(c) (3) children's rights organizationWe work to strengthen fragile familiesCouncil newsletter 'Speak Out for Chil- based in Washington, D.C. of children whose parents are unwed. dren,' Summer /Fall 1999") is given. For CRC works to strengthen familiesWe also favor school-based programsnon-CRC material, obtain permission through education and advocacy. We fa-for children at risk. from the copyright owner. For further vor family formation and family preserva- Formed in 1985 by concerned par-information about CRC membership, tion, but if families break up, or are neverents who have more than 40 years col-publications, cassettes, catalog, and ser- formed, we work to assure a child the fre-lective experience in custody reform andvices, write: CRC, 300 "1" Street N.E., quentand continuing contactwith two par-early childhood education, CRC hasSuite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002; ents and extended family the child would chapters in 32 states and two nationalphone (202) 547-6227; fax (202) 546- normallyhaveduringamarriage.Ourmottoaffiliate organizations: Mothers Without4CRC (4272). is "The Best Parent is Both Parents." Custody (MW/OC) and the Stepfamily With a browser, the CRC home For the child's benefit, CRC favorsAssociation of America (SAA). page's URL is http: / /www.vix.com /crc/ parenting education before marriage, Prominent professionals in the fieldsCRC's email address: [email protected] during marriage, and for parents who areof religion, law, social work, psychology, Speak Out for Children is published four unwed or separated. We work to demili-child care, education, business, and gov-times a year and is sent free to members. tarize divorce between parents who areernment comprise our Advisory Panel. Library rate: $20.00 a year. Send letters, involved in marital disputes, substituting Material in this newsletter authoredcomments and articles for publication to conciliation and mediation for theby CRC may be reprinted without per-Editor, CRC.

OFFICERS AND BOARD NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS Elliott H. Diamond Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. Darryl Grant, Washington Redskins MEMBERS Co-Founder, CRC Executive Director David L. Levy, Esq. President Superbowl XVII and XXII Reston, Virginia Northern California Mediation John L. Bauserman, Jr., Chairman Champion Center Samuel A. Brunelli, CEO Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author Phyllis Diller, Comedienne Ingrid Bough-Bell Los Angeles, California Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. John L. Bauserman, Sr. EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Author, Psychiatrist John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Judge Richard A. Waldron (ret'd) Margorie Engel, president Scottsdale, Arizona D. Richard Kuhn Lee Yarborough Stepfamily Association of America Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist Nancy Heleno Obetz Deephaven, Minnesota HONORARY PRESIDENT Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author David Brenner, entertainer ADVISORY PANEL former Member of the Board of James Levine, The Fatherhood New York, New York Rabbi Mendel Abrams, M.Min Directors, New York City N.O.W. Project Former President, Board of Rabbis Leucadia, California The Family and Work Institute GENERAL COUNSEL of Greater Washington, DC New York, New York Michael L. Oddenino Larry Gaughan, Professional Arcadia, California David Birney, Actor Director John Money, Ph.D. Professor of Santa Monica, California Family Mediation of Greater Medical Psychology and Pediatrics DIR. OF INFORMATION Washington, D.C. Johns Hopkins University and Hon. Sherwood Boehlert SERVICES Hospital U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Ed Mudrak Jonathan M. Goodson, President Baltimore, Maryland Mark Goodson Productions Jim Cook, President DIRECTOR OF PARENTING Los Angeles, California Hon. Debbie Stabenow Joint Custody Association EDUCATION PROGRAMS U.S. Congresswoman (D-MI) Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W. Los Angeles, California Hon. Bob Graham Salt Lake City, Utah U.S. Senator (D-FL) Hon. Fred Thompson "Dear Abby" U.S. Senator (R-TN) PARENTING EDUCATION (Abigail Van Buren) Jennifer Isham, President SPOKESPERSON Los Angeles, California Mothers Without Custody (MW/ Wes Unseld, VP Washington OC) Wizards Karen DeCrow Crystal Lake, Illinois Member, NBA Hall of Fame Former President of N.O.W. Jamesville, New York BEST COPYAVAILABLE Page 2 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999 3r) Shared Parenting parenting which they had previouslya parent to relocate with the child with- Continued from page 1 been prevented from doing because ofout a court hearing, he or she must be case law. Under the new law, courts notperforming more than 70 percent of the only can order the equivalent ofjoint cus-custodial responsibility. They must give Virginia Alliance for Two Parents was tody but shall order it. The new law states 60 days notice and provide the address based in part on a model bill published that "if each of the child's legal parentsof the new proposed custodial homes by the Children's Rights Council. This has been exercising a reasonable shareand other information. They must also model was incorporated into the Senate of parenting functions for the child, the demonstrate that the move "is in good version of the bill, but died in conference court shall presume that an allocation offaith with legitimate purpose" and also committee during the regular legislative propose a new parenting plan. session. The House version, baseddecision-making responsibility to both parents is in the child's best interests." "For those who would like to see a loosely upon the American Law Institute The presumption is overcome if thereclear rebuttable presumption ofjoint le- model, prevailed. That bill passed dur- is a history of domestic abuse, or by agal and physical custody, this does not ing the last night of the session, but was showing that joint allocation of decision-seem like a victory, but it is. By West vetoed for technical reasons. making responsibility is not in the child'sVirginia standards this is a huge leap for- Another version passed during an best interest. ward," said Thompson. extension of the regular session in March (Note: Ginger Thompson is giving and was vetoed by the governor after CRC a West Virginia chapter for the some women's groups protested. The Mandatory Parent Ed and first time. See info in chapter listing on Governor called a special session of the Mediation page 26). legislature in May and the bill was rein- In addition, beginning January 1, carnated, changed somewhat, and2000, parent education and mediation passed a third time. See http://are mandatory statewidejudges will be www.legis.state.wv.us/domrel0a.html. able to order share parentingwhen there WestVirginia's current domestic law canis no agreement between the parties. Ask your state legislators be found at http://www.legis.state.wv.us.Parenting plans will then be mandatory, to pass a joint custody Click on WV Code then click on Chap-outlining each parent's responsibilities. (shared parenting) law ter 48. If the parents are unable to agree to a The most important part of the newparenting plan in mediation, each par- similar to the new law in law is the section which restrains courtsent will submit one and the family West Virginia. from using the primary caretaker doc-lawmaster will make a ruling. trine in determining custody. The law The terms custody, visitation, cus- now states that beginning January 1,todial parent, non-custodial parent, etc., 2000, "the primary caretaker doctrineare gone with the new law. Judges will shall be replaced with a system that allo-allocate "custodial responsibility," and CRC Info cates custodial and decision-making re-each parent will have the decision-mak- sponsibility to the parents in accordanceing authority while the child is in his or Fax: 202-546-4272 with this article." her care. Website: www.vix.com/crc Another section of the law gives The new law also places restrictions E-mail: crcdceerols.com courts the ability to order sharedon relocating with the child. In order for

Letters to the Editor

Editor: Editor. he let the states know they will be evalu- For shame! CRC didn't focus David Levy did a wonderful job ofated on the issue ofjoint custody (shared enough on joint custody in your reportpresenting a very balanced and intelli-parenting) in next year's ranking of the on The Top 10 States to Raise a Child. gent description of the issues in the rank-states, when data is expected to become ing of "The Top 10 States to Raise Chil-available from the Census Bureau that Sam Sadatdren" on The Today show July 27. will allow state-by-state reporting of this Wyoming This is just what has been neededdata nationwide! David worked into the conversation Ben Sawyer the issue of two parents very nicely; and Massachusetts Summer/Fall 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 3 O 0 0O 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Updated Parenting 0 0 0 74e 6? veeeik 0 Directory Available 0 4 5144ded qede eft 0 0 0 0 e'er ril>teet02 Pevre4a Educesteoot 0 CRC has written to all 1,200 organiza- 0 0 tions listed in CRC's International 0 0 0 0 Parenting Directory to update their entry. 0 0 The 8th edition of the directory, in- 0 Hickey 0 0 0 corporating those changes, is expected 0 Separating Utah Parents Must Attend Parent 0 to be available by early October, 1999. 0 0 0 Education ClassAnd They Like It! 0 The 1,200 groups listed are working 0 0 across the country and abroad in areas 0 such as custody, access/visitation, and o In the May, 1999 issue of Utah's Parent magazine I discuss both the 0 root0 prevention of parental kidnapping. O causes and possible solutions to problems that develop in many marriages0 The Directory, an invaluable net- otoday. 0 0 working tool, is available in hardcopy or o My article is the second installment in a three-part series entitled "Deal- 0 disc for $12 for CRC members, and $15 °o ing With Divorce." I have been working for the past tenyears as the Director0 0 for non-members. CRC thanks Paul O of the Mediation and Divorce Center in Salt Lake City. 0 Robinson and Ed Mudrak for their hard While I believe that mediation is one solution, I also believe thata healthy0 0 work in updating this Directory. o dose of education would better prepare divorcing parents for the challenges0 o ahead of them. 0 The hardcopy is updated once a 0 year; the disc is updated frequently. Or- o Since beginning to offer free voluntary classes in Salt Lake City that fo- 0 der from CRC and specify which version o cused on the needs of children in divorce situations,I have found the pro-0 0 you wanthardcopy or disc. o gram to be very successful. 0 0 o Eventually, the success of the program led to a state law which requires IZMI EE2 CEI ED ED Ea GE E21 0 O divorcing parents in Utah to attend a class that sensitizes parents to what0 o children do and do not need during and aftera divorce. 0 We thank Bladen 0 O The class evaluations which are filled outupon completion of the course0 tl Lithography in o revealed that many felt education should bean integral part of not simply0 a Gaithersburg, MD for O divorce, but marriage itself. Frequently, the evaluations bore comments like: 0 El 0 tg providing printing o"I wish I took this class before I got married." 0 0 services to CRC. o This led many parent-educators, includingme, to believe that perhaps a0 o class prior to obtaining a marriage license would helpassure that couples are0 munotaffilm EmEmieri 0 O ready for the reality, responsibilities, and challenges of marriage. When asked0 oif a class like this would be helpful before marriage,more than 80 percent of0 0 Intellectual Property o the divorcing parents have answered "yes." 0 As my work has shown, there is a great need for allparents to be educated0 Protection 0 o concerning both marriage and divorce. Many people believe that divorce is0 Charlie Ruggiero, who obtained trade- o the answer to the problems, and formany couples it is. But divorce brings0 mark protection for the name and logo 0 o with it other types of problems, like disruption of family traditions, which are0 "Children's Rights Council" and the o many times unforeseen. For those considering divorce, it isnecessary to pon-0 name and logo for our newsletter "Speak o 0 o der some of the reasons why so many marriages are ending that way. These 0 Out for Children" is a specialist in trade- o reasons include lack of communication, holding in feelings ofresentment,0 mark, patent, copyright, and licensing law. 0 o drugor alcohol dependency, and unwillingness to compromise. 0 He is a partner in the law firm of Ohlandt, Discovering the roots of marital problems is the firststep toward finding0 Greeley, Ruggiero and Perle, I Landmark 0 0 O the best solution for all involved, especially the children. Thoughmany are0 Square, Suite 903, Stamford, CT 06901, o able to identify the reasons they seek a divorce, findingways to work it out0 telephone (203) 327-6067. 0 O may seem more mysterious. Tips on improving a marriage include effective0 O listening, communicating and compromise. Throughout the wholeprocess,0 0 Beat the Tax Man: O however, it is essential to focus on healing, and embracing important relation-0 oships. 0 Contribute to CRC 0 0 Keep working for children. If you Hickey is an award-winning author and video producer. She hasauthored0 wish to consider leaving a bequest or o 0 "Healing Hearts" and a children's picture book, "I Loveyou More Than....0 property to CRC, please state the follow- O She created the video, "Children: The Experts 0 0 on Divorce", all of which are ing in your will: "I hereby leave the fol- 0available from CRC (see CRC List of Publications). 0 lowing to the Children's Rights Council: o o 0 0 O 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 (state your bequest) ." Page 4 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999 34 Top 10 States rate, a decrease of the children in pov-generous states have been on granting Continued from page 1 erty rate, and a decrease in the teen birthjoint custody (shared parenting) and how rate in Maine. liberal they have been in granting liberal coverage resulted in the news being pub- The report ranked the 50 states andaccess/visitation, but we hope to be able lished by an estimated 1,500 newspapersthe District of Columbia on abuse andto measure these factors next year, so and 1,500 radio stations. neglect, the percentage of children im-states...get ready. CNN provided coverage severalmunized by age two, high school drop- Several news outlets also mentioned times, and CBS News, National Publicout rate, child death rate, infant mortal-the CRC website, where it clearly states Radio (national), Scripps-Howard andity rate, percentage of mothers not re-that "Children raised in single-parent Knight-Ridder wire services covered theceiving prenatal care in the first trimes-families are at great risk for juvenile de- event. ter, percentage of juvenile arrests, per-linquency, teen pregnancy, poor grades, People from Indianapolis to Loscentage of teen births, and percentagedrugs, dropping out of school and other Angeles told CRC that they saw or heardof divorces. The average of all ten fac-trouble." of the release 3 or 4 times, in the news-tors was calculated for each state, and "CRC could never get this publicity paper, on the radio, and on TV. the states were ranked from lowest to for the idea that 'The Best Parent is Both U.S.A. Today headlined "Children'shighest percentage from 1 to 51. Parents,' said CRC President David L. Rights Council Report..." on page 3. The article is reproduced below andLevy, "but we can point out that CRC The CRC website, which usuallythe state rankings are reproduced in thecares about child poverty, teen births, gets about 125 "hits" (inquiries) a day,column on the next page. and other issues, and the best way to had 74,000 hits in one dayJuly 27. solve these problems is by encouraging 30,000 of the "hits" sought out the Top Joint Custody Mentioned two-parent involvement. That way, we 10 Report. get people to think about the solution to Maine advanced from eighth place At the news conference, on Theso many of these problems." in 1998's ranking. Maine replaced Iowa,Today Show, and on CBS This Morn- CRC staff members prepared the 1998's number one state. This is prima-ing, CRC President David L. Levy saidreport and participated in the press con- rily due to an increase in the graduationthat it has been hard to measure howference.

USA TODAY WEDNESDAY, JULY 28, 1999 3A Children's Rights Council calls Maine best place to raise kids The Associated Press "Nobody from Maine would tell you that everything is fixed," the PORTLAND, Maine Compil- governor said. ing information on everything from King spokesman Denis Bailey immunization to juvenile crime, a said the governor has made child national advocacy group has con- welfare a top priority with pro- cluded that Maine is the best state grams such as the Children's Cab- in which to rear a child. inet. The program was formed in Maine advanced from eighth 1994 to let the heads of five state place last year, when Iowa was No. agencies collaborate on policies af- 1 in the rankings compiled by the fecting parents and children. Children's Rights Council. But Bailey also noted that some Behind Maine are Massachu- areas for improvement aren't setts, Connecticut, Vermont and shown by the figures, such as those New Hampshire. showing a low high-school dropout Bringing up the rear, in descend- rate. ing order, are California, Arizona, 4214: "What we don't do well in is the Texas, New Mexico, Louisiana and By Robert F. Bukaty, AP number of graduates going on to Washington, D.C. King: 'Nobody from Maine would college or technical school," he The report released lliesday tell you that everything is fixed.' said. measured rates of abuse and ne- Peggy Armstrong, a spokeswom- glect; the rate of immunizations un- "This is a wonderful honor foran for District of Columbia Mayor der age 2; the high-school dropout Maine, and it simply tells the coun-Anthony Williams, said city offi- rate; children in poverty; the childtry something we've known incials had no quarrel with the Dis- death rate; the infant mortality Maine for a long time it is a won- trict's last-place rank in the report. rate; those not receiving natal care;derful place to raise children," said Next year's budget, which Con- total juvenile crime; the divorceGov. Angus King, who was joinedgress must approve, earmarks $50 rate; and the teen birth rate. by members of the state's congres-million for programs to "help turn The states were ranked by calcu-sional delegation. But he acknowl- these terrible statistics around," lating the average of all 10 factors. edged that more needs to be done.shesaid. SummFall 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 5 it SEST COPY AVAIIARC c How States Rank Equal Parents' Week for Children by Patti Diroff CRC's National Equal Parents Week Coordinator The Children's Rights Council ranking of states' desirability for raising a child according to 10 Wednesday, July 28, at 8:30 p.m., was truly a "Moment of Solidarity"as a factors, from best to worst. message was sent not only around the country, but around the world. Chapters of the Children's Rights Council, joined by organizations and individuals in 26states 1 Maine and three foreign countries, united their devotion to their families and theircom- 2 Massachusetts mitment to "The Best Parent Is Both Parents" by holding 38 public vigils and 59 3 Connecticut home vigils. 4 Vermont We are excited that participation in Equal Parents' Week spread outside the 5 New Hampshire United States. This year, the Children's Rights Council 6 was joined by Kids Need North Dakota Both Parents and Nova Scotia Parenting Coalition in Canada, GRaN (Growing 7 Maryland 8 Kansas Relationships and Network Support), an Australian Grandparents organization, 9 Wisconsin and Both Parents Forever in England. 10 Iowa CRC was joined by 17 organizations throughout the United States whose members 11 Minnesota held public and home candlelight vigils. A roll call of these organizations includes: 12 Rhode Island Alabama: Alabama Family Rights Association (AFRA) (2 vigils) 13 Hawaii California: 14 Alaska Coalition of Parent Support (3 public vigils and 15 home vigils) 15 Nebraska Arroyo Seco Extended Student Services daycare center in 16 Pennsylvania Livermore 17'New Jersey Kansas: Kidsview 18 Washington Maine: Maine Dads (2 vigils) 19 North Carolina Mass: Coalition for the Preservation of Fatherhood 20 Delaware Michigan: The Council for the Prevention of Child Abuse & Neglect in 21 Colorado Jackson County 22 Utah Fathers and Children Together (FACT) 23 Virginia Fathers for Equal Rights 24 Missouri New York: New York Men's Action Network 25 Michigan Fathers for Children 26 Wyoming 27 South Dakota World Wide Divorced Parents 28 Georgia Pennsylvania:Fathers' & Children's Equality Bucks County (FACE) 29 Ohio Tennessee: DADS of Tennessee, Inc. (2 vigils) 30 Montana Virginia: Equal Parents Equal Time of the Roanoke Valley 31 Alabama Washington: TABS (Taking Action Against Bias in the System) 32 West Virginia Wisconsin: Wisconsin Fathers for Children & Family 33 Illinois 34 New York CRC participation included chapters in Colorado, Georgia (3 vigils); Ohio CRC/ 35 Kentucky Pace and Northwest Ohio Chapters; 22 home vigils held by members of theNe- 36 Florida braska/Iowa Chapter; a large home vigil held by Maryland members Robertand 37 Indiana Sandra Snow; a candlelight vigil held by Massachusetts chapter members Carolyn 38 Tennessee Brumber and her son Michael; home vigils held by North Carolina Chapter;a 39 South Carolina large home vigil held by CRC Ohio member Debra Riggs; anda large home vigil 40 Oregon held in Virginia by CRC member Carissa Swain Kopp. The New JerseyChapter 41 Idaho took the leadagainand its members held 8 vigils throughout the State! 42 Mississippi Other participation included persons who held home vigils in Florida, Louisi- 43 Arkansas ana, Missouri, New Hampshire, and Texas. 44 Nevada 45 Oklahoma We want to extend a heartfelt thank you to all CRC members, anda special 46 California message of appreciation to everyone outside CRC who joined with CRC in sending 47 Arizona our message this year. We extend an invitation to everyone to help us to make next 48 Texas year's message even stronger. Every purple ribbon andevery vigil lends a voice to 49 New Mexico the message we are trying to send, and EVERY PERSON COUNTS inhelping to 50 Louisiana send this message! 51 District of Columbia Patti Diroff, the National Coordinator, can be reached at (909) 591-3689 and patticliroffeworldnetattnet Continued on page 11 Page 6 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999 r4 A .s4 5,600,000 Children Have Access to Non-Custodial Parent Interfered With

CRC has been asked to repeat an Other Researchers Have Data Findings Include item from the Fall, 1998 "Speak Out for Weighed In Shared Parenting Children" newsletter: In 1995 and 1996, In the past, CRC reviewed literature, Based on data from the U.S. Cen- the Children's Rights Council estimatedincluding Wallerstein and Kelly's booksus Bureau and the National Center for that 6,600,000 children have difficulty in entitled Surviving the Break-up, that said Health Statistics, approximately 20 per- obtaining access to their non-custodialthere was interference with access in 25cent of children of divorced families are parents. As child and family advocatespercent to 50 percent of all cases. We in equal shared-parenting situations. around the country know, legislaturesused a middle figure of 37 percent. Us- Equal shared parenting means that and the courts do little to encourage ac-ing 37 percent of 18,000,000 childrenthere is approximately 50/50 percent tive parenting for the one million of chil-of divorce (1 million a year times 18sharing of time between two parents on dren affected by divorce each year.years that children are considered mi-a year-round basis. This figure has Based on new evaluations of research bynors), wearrived at the numberdoubled since 1990, when only about 10 Richard Kuhn, of CRC, we now estimate 6,600,000. percent of children were estimated to be that almost 5,600,000 children have dif- However, we observe that other re-in equal shared parenting situations. ficulty in obtaining access to their non-searchers are using numbers of between custodial parents. 25 percent to 40 percent for access in- CRC has revised the figure downterference. CRC has essentially split the CRC and our chapters need from 6,600,000 to almost 5,600,000 fordifference to arrive at an estimated fig- grant and proposal writers. the following reasons: ure of 32 percent. r ! !News Flashes! !

Have You Had Trouble Getting an Access Grant? * A House Committee will soon hold hearings on the access (visitation) grants. If you have trouble obtaining such a grant, or the grants are not being run right in your state, write to Rep. Nancy Johnson, Chair, Human Resources Subcommittee, House Ways and Means Committee, Rayburn Office Building Room B317, Washing- ton, D.C. 20515, and send it to CRC. We will present all letters to her. CRC plans to testify that Congress should increase from $10 million to $50 million each year the amount that states receive for access grants, and have the states subcontract more with non-profits groups that have experience in counseling non- custodial parents.

A Drop-Off and Pick-Up Site Is Fundable! *Start a neutral drop-off and pick-up site in your state! If you would like information on how to do this, contact Al Ellis, Director of Child Access Services, CRC. This is a fundable program that helps people!

Funds for Juvenile Justice Programs Available *Will you get your share of the billions of dollars in the Juvenile Justice bill? Congress will soon decide how to allocate billions of dollars for programs to prevent youth crime, including gang prevention, after-school pro- grams, crime prevention, mentoring, and neutral drop-off and pick-up sites for children. Children of single- parent families are more likely to get into trouble. Subcontracts with non-profit groups are permitted by the states under the recently enacted Juvenile Justice bill. Almost every group that reads this newsletter could qualify for one or more of those programs by working with parents at early intervention, counseling parents, etc. Con- tact your Congress member for information and work with your mayor or governor's office that handles Juvenile Justice programs.

IL a Summer/Fall 1999. Speak Out For Children Page 7 37 CRC's 12th National Conference September22-26

Ross Meyer Braver Engel Steinberg

Child Support Commissioner Davidments,Jobs, NotJail for Unwed Parents,ministers the $10 million a year in ac- Gray Ross, Catherine Meyer, the wife ofand many other panels and topics. cess/visitation grants to the states. the British ambassador to the U.S., book The conference includes a banquet, Sanford Braver, author of "Divorced author Sanford Braver and many otherbookfair, exhibits, entertainment by theDadsShattering the Myths," and ma- distinguished writers, researchers, pub-Virginia Council on Indians, Book andjor national researcher on the phenom- lic officials, judges, and custody reformAuthor Luncheon, Media Luncheon, enon known as "pushed away and forced advocates will speak at CRC's 12th na-and other special features. away fathers." tional conference September 22-26, Some of the speakers: Some other speakers include 1999. Catherine Meyer, wife of the BritishHerman M. Frankel, M.D., Ron J. The theme of the conference isAmbassador to the U.S., who has notClark, M.P.P. Cathy Young, Kathleen "Keeping Children First in the 21st Cen-seen her children in 5-1/2 years because Parker, Ron Haskins, John Guidubaldi, the German father of the children re-Ed.D., Scott Browning, Ph.D., Jean The conference is at the Holiday Innfuses to allow her access. The case hasMcBride, M.S., Ann Warshauer, Scott Hotel and Suites, 625 First Street, Alex-received international attention. LadyBrowning, Ph.D., Serge Prengel, Peter andria, Virginia, two miles from NationalMeyer has appeared on major talkBreggin, M.D., Dean Tong, Jeffery Airport. shows, sometimes mentioning CRC as aLeving, Kay Pasley, Ed.D., Gerald The conference includes Hot Newgroup that she is working with to drawSolomon and Ron Milko, attorneys, Tips About Kids of Divorce, the Paren- attention to the case. Margorie Engel, Vicki Lansky, Douglas tal Alienation Syndrome, The Legal and David Gray Ross, Commissioner ofDarnall, Ph.D., Ron J. Clark, Barbara Social Issues of Psychiatric DiagnosingChild Support, U.S. Department ofF. Steinberg and Philip Stahl, Ph.D. and Drugging of Children, How to Ob-Health and Human Services, who is For information on the conference, tain Access (visitation) Grants, Congres-working to make the child support of-call CRC at 202-547-6227. sional and Legislative V.I.P. breakfast,fice more family friendly. David See you at the conference! Stepfamily Issues, Co-Parenting Agree-Arnaudo, who works under Ross, ad-

Senate Created Child's Day in 1999

The U.S. Senate passed a resolution creatinga National Child's Day the first Sunday in June, 1999. The resolution was sponsored by Sen. Bob Graham (D-FL), and passed theSenate unani- mously. Graham sent a letter to CRC saying "Today, in these modern times, familiesare often separated for many reasons and 'National Child's Day'gave them a chance to be involved with their children and their lives. We extend our thanks foryour emphasis on children and for your endless work on 'National Child's Day.' Without the support ofyou and the members of your organization, this monu- mental legislation and appreciation of children would not have been successful." Because Sen. Orrin Hatch (R) wants to observe Children's Day in 2000on a Sunday in the Spring, the future of "Children's Day" as an observation in June is in question. We thank CRC members for their letters and faxes which helped the Senateto pass this resolution in 1999. If any CRC members would like to work on establishinga Children's Day AS A PERMANENT HOLIDAY the first Sunday in June, contact CRC. Page 8 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999 f Things I'm Learning as I Promote my Book, "Still a Dad" by Serge Prengel, former president, CRC of New York City

I've been in-touching to be interviewed by an adultwhich requires a little more effortbut volved in CRC forchild of divorcesomebody who, afternot that much. Ask your bookstore or many years. Overall these years, is still trying to make sense library to organize a reading/discussion the years, I have de-of what happened. of "Still a Dad"or any other book or voted time and ef- Now, all of this is in sharp contrastgroup of books. This kind of event can fort to publicizingto my experience before the bookget-help build trafficmore people getting thecauseofting relatively little response from the to the library or bookstore, but also more shared-parenting,media. The difference? The book. Jour-people hearing aboutyour organization. locally in Newnalists respond to it, because it's clear I'd like to conclude with some con- York City andand easy to read. They quote from it. crete suggestions. I would like each chap- nationally. Like many other ac-They feel comfortable referring to it. ter to include books and authors in their tivists, I've had my share of small suc-The book can become a focus aroundpublic relations activities. I believe two cesses as well as frustrations. which to build a showthe host will in-simple steps can help: Something really different has been vite a local activist and discuss the topics 1. We need a Speakers Bureau happening for the past few months. Onraised by the book. function at CRCto maintain a the one hand, I have suddenly seen a lot So what's the lesson I want to share list of authors who are more interest in the mediaI've done from this good news? representative of CRC's dozens and dozens of interviews across There's a lot of goodwill, even if it's positions and how they can be the nation, and more are forthcoming. not that visible as you go along trying to contacted...so that each chapter On the other hand, I have also experi-get media interested, as you send press has this resource easily available. enced in a powerful way the sensationreleases and make phone calls that re- I'd be happy to start this until of banging my head against a wall. All ofmain largely unanswered. somebody else volunteers to take this has been happening as I have been If they're not responding, try some- over. I will post this list on the promoting my book (Sti// A Dad: Thething else. For one thing, try sending Web in the Fall. Divorced Father's Journey). them booksmy books, or some other 2. We'll learn more if we I'm writing this article to share with books you like. Work with the authors coordinate our efforts you the lessons I have been learning. At to create publicity. That's usually a win- exchanging information about the end of this article, I will make sug-ning combination to get attention from what works best. I am willing to gestions on how CRC chapters can use the media; a book and a local groupit start being the contact person - books and authors to educate the mediashows there is a local constituency. Be- here again, until somebody else and the public about the plight of non-sides, radio interviews are easy on au- volunteers for the job. custodial mothers and fathers and thethors because they don't involve travel, I would love to hear from you. You benefits of shared parenting for children.it's usually all done by phone. can email me at: First, I will startwith good newsthe Now for the bad news. The book [email protected] or call me at dozens of interviews. Well, it feels good to does not have much faith in books for or 212-337-3737. know that there is interest out there forabout fathers. Bookstores are reluctant to what we have to say. There are a lot ofcarry many of themfearing there's not sympathetic people who are willing to lis- much of a market for them. This, in turn, Amicus Briefs ten and learn more about our experiences. makes it much more difficult for books May Be Available Many people in the media alreadyabout men to reach their public. know a lot about what it's like, and are There is a remedy. It is to becomeIf your case is on appeal, and you would actually happy to have guests that can more actively involved in asking for whatlike CRC to consider writing an amicus articulate it for their readers and listen-we want. When there's a book you likebrief, contact CRC. CRC cannot handle ers. For instance, a suave radio show hostwhether mine or any othermake noisecases at the trial level, and we do notwrite the main appeal brief. An amicus brief turns out to also be a loving divorcedaround it. It takes very little individual is a supplemental brief, telling the court father who misses the frequent contacteffort. Ask your bookstore to order itwhy this case is of significance not only he used to have with his children. An-(there's no obligation on your part). Askto the parties in the case, but to other other is a grandmother whose grandchil-your public library to carry itso that oth-children and families as well. We gener- dren are slipping away from her as a con-ers will have a chance to be exposed to it. ally need 30 to 60 days before the filing sequence of divorce. And it is especially There's a further degree of activismdeadline. 'tn`" Summer /F1 1 999 Speak Out For Children Page 9 LegislationUpdate

Here are some important bills and resolutions in Congress affecting families. Writeto your House member or Senator to let them know what you think of a particular bill. They do not get enough mailon issues of concern to CRC members. So contact them! Let them know what sort of legislation you would like tosee passed! Write Senator (name) Representative (name) Washington, D.C. 20510 Washington, D.C. 20515

House Bills Senate Bills H.R. 521. Denial of Passports to Noncustodial Parents in S. 51 Title III Cases of Nonpayment of Child Support. Introduced by Rep. Study of Child Cus- Robert Andrews (D-NJ). Referred to House International Re- tody Laws in Do- lations Committee and the House Subcommittee for Interna- mestic Violence tional Operations and Human Rights. It is a bill that would Cases. Authorizes deny passports to noncustodial parents subject to State arrest the Attorney Gen- warrants in cases of nonpayment of child support awards. eral to make grants Write to Chairman Benjamin A. Gilman, (R-NY), House I to States and Indian International Relations Committee and Chairman Christopher Andrews Biden tribal governments Smith (R-NJ), House Subcommittee for International Opera- to enable them to tions and Human Rights, Washington, D.C. 20515, asking thatenter into contracts and cooperative passports should also be denied to individuals subject to State arrest warrants inagreements to assist public or private violation of custody and access/visitation orders. non-profit entities in establishing and op- H.R. 816. Child Support Enforcement Act. Introduced by Rep. Christophererating supervised visitation centers for purposes of facilitating supervised visi- Cox (RCA). Referred to House Ways and Means Committee. It isa bill to require a parent who is delinquent in child support to include his unpaid obligation intation and visitation exchange of children by and between parents. Requires that gross income, and to allow custodial parents a bad debt collection for unpaid child support payments. priority be given to States that consider domestic violence in making a custody H.R. 833. Sec. 149 sets forth duties of the bankruptcy trustee under Chapters 7decision and require findings on the and 13 regarding a claim against an individual debtor for the collection of childrecord. Introduced by Sen. Joseph support, notifying the claim holder and appropriate State child support agency ofBiden (D-DE). Currently in the Senate the debtor's location. Sec. 152 denies automatic stay protection to withholding ofJudiciary Committee. income payment for payment of certain domestic support obligations and for the commencement or continuation of a proceeding: (1) concerning child custody or Sec. 302. Directs the Attorney Gen- visitation; (2) alleging domestic violence; or (3) seeking dissolution of marriage (ex-eral to study and report to Congress on cept to the extent the proceeding concerns property of the estate). Federal and State laws relating to child custody, including the Parental Kidnap- Introduced by Rep. George Gekas (R-PA) and passed in the House; the billping Prevention Act of 1980, and their may be considered by Senate Judiciary Committee this Fall. effect on child custody cases in which H.R. 1488. Compassion for Children and Child Support EnforcementAct ofdomestic violence is a factor. Requires 1999. Introduced by Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL). Referred in the House Ways andstudy to examine the burdens and risks Means Committee and the House Judiciary Committee. Compassion for Childrenencountered by victims of domestic vio- and Child Support Act of 1999. A bill to amend the Internal Revenue Code oflence arising from compliance with the 1986 and Social Security Act to repeal provisions relating to the State enforcementfull faith and credit (and judicial juris- of child support obligations and the disbursement of such support andto requirediction) requirements of thatAct. the Internal Revenue Service to collect and disburse such support throughwage withholding and other means. CRC recommends that you write to Sen. Biden and to your own U.S. sena- S.Res. 125 Resolution encouraging and promoting greater involvement of fa-tors urging that neutral drop-off and pick- thers in their children's lives and designating June 20, 1999as "National Father'sup of children sites should be given even Return Day." Introduced by Senator J. Lieberman (D-CT) and passed by the Sen-higher priority in S. 51, Title 111, because ate on June 18, 1999. more unwed, separating and divorced Page 10 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999 40 parents have communication problems Equal Parents' Week than are engaged in violence. Continued from page 6 CRC recommends thatyou state that Sec. 302 of the proposed law should di- rect the Attorney General to also report on the frequency of use and effect of false allegations of abuse in the midst of cus- tody or access/visitation battles, which "It's All About the Children" have been noted by the American Bar Arroyo Seco Extended Student Services daycare center in Association and other organizations. We * Livermore, California held a special candlelight vigil on July 28. Both must deal with false abuse accusations custodial and noncustodial parents were invited, and six small chil- in order to more fully help children who dren in the center also attended. Judy Salinas-Poper, who helps run really have been abused, as officials in the daycare center, understands that "it's all about the children" be- Texas and other states have decided. cause she sees how divorce affects children. g Judy made rolled up candles out of purple construction paper S. 1033. Child Support Penalty Fair- and yellow construction paper flame for the children. The children ness Act. Introduced by Sen. Dianne also lit candles with a birthday candle and at the end...each child blew Feinstein (D-CA). Referred to Senate out a candle, which they enjoyed. Finance Committee. It is a bill to amend In Judy's words, "We can screw up anywhere in our lives but not Title IV of the Social Security Act to when it comes to the children. They are the future and we hold their coordinate the penalty for the failure of promise in our hands." a State to operate a State child support disbursement unit with the alternative penalty procedure for failures to meet CRC NEEDS data processing requirements. Free office space. Get a tax write-off as you help kids and CRC. 1,200 square Write to Sen. Feinstein and your feet or more anywhere in the Washington, D.C. area (Maryland, D.C. or own U.S. senators urging that the pen- Virginia).. alty for failure to implement the full faith And our chapters around the country need office space, too! and credit interstate access/visitation law should result in financial penalties to the A new photocopy machine. Martin Lopez of Minnesota was nice enough to state. donate a new Lanier photocopier to us about 10 years ago, but it has worn out, and we need a one. S.1036. Children First Child Support Reform Act of 1999. Introduced by Sen. Our chapters could use photocopiers, too! Herb Kohl (D-WI). Referred to Senate * Our chapters need computers. Finance Committee. A bill to amend parts A and D of title IV of the Social Lawyers to write CRC Amicus Briefs on appeal. Security Act to give States the option to pass through directly to a family receiv- ing assistance under the temporary as- Order CRC Book and Make Money! sistance to needy families program all child support collected by the State and Order bulk copies (10 or more) of the still popular 1993 the option to disregard any child support 'iPalp EIS publication, The Best Parent is Both Parents, for only $4 a that the family receives in determining a copy. Resell the copies for the list price of $10 each, and family's eligibility for, or amount of, as- Parent. make a profit for you or your organization! sistance under that program. You can also give copies to judges, policyrnakers, and Cti others to help educate them on the issues of concern to you and CRC. ,...nasolf rs-ry Send checks to CRC, and copies will be mailed to you. Change of Address For orders of 20 copies or fewer, add $5 for shipping (to To keep newsletters and other mate- one address). For orders of more than 20 copies, shipping cost is included. rials coming, please notify CRC three Individual copies will continue to be available from CRC for $10 each, weeks in advance of any address plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. change. Send old and new addresses If you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed by David L. to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Levy, just state to whom you would like it autographed (yourself, perhaps your Washington, DC 20002. childrengive their names) and your autographed copywill be sent to you.

Summer/Fall 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 11 REST COPYAVAILABLE' 41 Chapter News

The Winning Story vices improve children's lives as wellaschard C. Weiss, a doctor of veterinary have an impact on the non-custodialmedicine, for re-energizing CRC in Ala- CRC chaptersparents involvement with his children? bama. Most of the members of the new and national offic- "We think the programs are work-CRC of Alabama chapter are already ers speak on theing well," said Cady, "and we look for-members of the Alabama Family Rights phone cross-coun-ward to a second year of administeringAssociation, which has worked in the tryevery twothese services." Alabama legislature for the past few months. All state years. The group will continue to help chapter heads are Access Centers protect the right of a child to frequent invited to be on the in D.C. Area contact with both parents after divorce. Terry Cady call to help coordi- Dr. Weiss, the father of two children, nate efforts and to CRC is expanding operations in the Washington, D.C. area. A new ChildEmily and Hannah, is remarried to stimulate chapter development. Deborah, and lives in Auburn. Anew feature of those calls is to pickAccess Transfer Center will open in the Fall in Fairfax County, Virginia. This out the most interesting story, as voted Alaska. on by the chapter heads themselves, andCenter will be operated in cooperation Gary Maxwell, who used to be CRC's to feature it in this newsletter. with the Circuit Court of Fairfax County. Fairfax is the largest county in the Met-coordinator in Alaska, is now back in that The "winning" story for the April, job. Gary has his own business, Child 1999 conference call was a descriptionropolitan DC area. The CRC Baltimore Chapter willSupport Services in Anchorage, which of an access grant being run by Terry helps non-custodial parents deal with dif- Cady, Illinois's CRC coordinator. CRCopen a Child Access Transfer Center in the Fall in cooperation with the Circuitficulties they experience with the child Wisconsin coordinator Nancy Kellogg support system, and the courts. Gary is participated in the discussion. Court in Baltimore County. In keeping with CRC tradition thereso knowledgeable about custody and Cady described a $200,000 grant he support that attorneys call him for con- received under the Illinois access/visita-will be no fees to parents for theseser- vices. We continue to use our volunteers sultations! Gary is the father of a boy and tion program to provide services for a girl, Brandon, 12, and Brittany, 14. DuPage County. at these Centers. Joseph Mason, who coordinates ac- A Supervised Child Access Center will also open in Prince George's Connecticut cess programs for the state of Illinois, CRC has not had a chapter in Con- and who also runs financial childsup-County, Maryland. This Center is in cooperation with the Circuit Court ofnecticut for several years, partially because port programs and job programs for able Bob Adams, who headed a chapter, unwed parents, came to a CRC confer-Prince George's County. Althoughsome paid staff is required to provide securityhas been ill. Mark has started a new Con- ence, where he met Cady. necticut chapter that plans to work on leg- That meeting contributed to Cady'sat the supervised access center, there is no cost to parents. CRC received an ac-islation and courtwatch. Mark Roseman, competing for and being awarded the an insurance agent, is the father of two $200,000 grant for DuPage County, cess grant from the state of Maryland to near daughters, Allison, 16; Stefanie, 12, and Chicago. provide this service. CRC has developed a tool kit to helpa son, Andrew, 7. His group plans to Judges in DuPage County have made monitor legislation, do court watch, and delivery of access services part of theirchapters start Child Access Transfer Centers. If you want a copy, pleasecon- help parents deal with the problems as- responsibility, and the DuPage County sociated with separation and divorce. Psychological Association, headed bytact Al Ellis at CRC Headquarters. Angela Zolato, works with the courts to Philadelphia deliver the services. CRC Chapters in Four For the first time, CRC has a chap- "This is the most comprehensive States; New Coordinator ter in Philadelphia. It will be headed by access/visitation program in Illinois, in- in Alaska Rita A. Jones, a grandmother and former cludes everything," says Cadymedia- social worker with the city of Philadel- tion, education, access (visitation)neu- CRC is expanding! We now havephia, who has worked in a battered tral drop-off and pick-up of children, andchapters in 33 states, Washington, D.C.women's shelter. "It is important for supervised access (visitation), a compre-and Japan. Alphabetically, the new chap-CRC members to listen to the concerns hensive data collection on how theseters are as follows: of battered women, and someone like programs are working, which includes af- Rita A. Jones will help us do that," said ter -the -fact focus groups on the impact Alabama William J. Clements, a family law attor- of the services they received. CRC has not had a chapter in Ala-ney in Philadelphia, who is the new Questions asked are: Did theser-bama for several months. We thank Ri-group's treasurer. Page 12 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999

+V, ! ( ,1). 42 West Virginia For the first time in many years, CRC Sign or Get a Friend, Relative, or has a chapter in West Virginia. Ginger Colleague to Sign The Petition to Stop Thompson, who was instrumental in gain- ing passage of a strong joint custody law Anti-Joint Custody Resolution in Congress in West Virginia (see page 1) heads the chapter. Ginger became involved in di- Thanks to the hundreds of people who have already sent CRC a vorce reform because her significant other petition for House Speaker Hastert. But we need more petitions! is a non-custodial father who had trouble getting to see his child, Jonathan, 5. The more friends of children who sign, the better. Mail or fax the petition to CRC. We will present all petitions to Speaker Hastert.

Visit CRC's Expanded Web Site at WWW.GOCRC.COM

202.647.6227 Quite 401, 300 I ("eye") atteet NE, Washington, DO 20002 EVENTS a ACTIVITIES HOME ACT NOW! NEWS a VIEWS ACCESS(VISITATION) - RESEARCH s, REPORTS ORGAN:ZATION INTERNS s VOLUNTEERS MEMBERSHIP 4 RENEWAL'

The Children's Rights Council is expanding its presence on the web. CRC now has its own do- main and can now accept online credit card payments for conference registration, memberships (new and renewals), and donations on a secure server using an SSL certificate.

REGISTRATION FORM We have added a few new areas. Visit "Act Now!" to find out CRC'S 12th National Conference "Keeping C64dreo Kra In Me Ma Cenwry. howYOU can help children and families now. Check out the OR sumtemple. tom os SO4.272.9006 CRC ATM Brenda Fairy 6767 pace Hill Ave, Stitt P.O PSI NOR Worm* call: "News & Views" area to keep up-to-date on current legislation. Riamm4 VA 23225 202.547.6227 Also check "Access (Visitation)" to learn what CRC is doing to BILLCIG ADDRESS: NAME: promote childrens' access to both parents and what you can do 1DDRESS: POSTAL in your state. "Events & Activities" will list local and national CRC- ITV: FrATE: COD8' .V14,171,17E 0 =cm 0 mons, morn supported activities you can join. .51.111411146131: suer= VI.. C.1.11.111. DAM ImI 5193 memben befare Any 31 35200 040-40001mrs t Ws regstrados Dom. 10 yr. Membenhip) 3Amami MerabersOlp-535 Dal detectible) Check back often because we will be makinadclitions in the A Is Cart= 3525 Wadotops aSCOLVIIII (06 web bat =Wm cofreo bass) Ituts-S61 575 MS Lash.. nava hi-Set 550 near future, including "Shop CRC", an online store featuring a 515 Ilscakfast tame. RiS® 545 540 Donna Fri Elro. 540 full catalog of books and tapes. 3315 Wm & Ow= Receptica Mom Ova SUBIVIVAL: PmCwilereoce (W05): Mem couosdirg training by Dick Woads & ete.ysar 0000001w 560 by CRC We would like to express our gratitude to Paul Vixie for giv- TOTAL DM: ing us our start on the web and for generously hosting our site for .4.30-51/441.9.1ezds. le the past several years.

Browse our new site to see what we have to offer and remember to "Act Now!"

Summer/Fall 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 13 8L81 COPY AVAILABLE RETURN THIS ENTIRE SHEET TO FAX: 202/546-4272 Children's Rights Council 300 I Street N.E., Suite 401 Washington, D.C. 20002

PETITION TO THE SPEAKER OF THE U.S. HOUSEOF REPRESENTATIVES

PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF CHILDREN FROM THEIRPARENTS!

The Undersigned Hereby Petitions the House ofRepresentatives to Stop Sec. 241 of H.R. 357, whichasks the States to abolish their joint custody (shared parenting)statutes!

Speaker of the House J. Dennis Hastert Washington, D.C. 20515

Dear Speaker Hastert:

I ask you to stop an anti-joint custody resolutionthat is Sec. 241 of H.R. 357 (the Violence AgainstWomen Act). Sec. 241 is a resolution that would ask thestates to "have a presumption that children shall have their main physical residence with their primary caretakerparent unless that parent is unfit" To include this resolution in the Violence AgainstWomen Act is a clever and indirectway to abolish joint custody. We all strongly oppose violence againstwomen, but we realize that we can protect women and society without abolishing shared parenting. Please don't cut children off from their parents! Childrenneed their dads and their moms whenever possible to help them do well, to avoid crime and drugs, and to achieve theirgoals. Please have the House of Representativesstop Sec. 241. Thank you on behalf of children and familiesacross this great country.

Signature

Print Name

Address

Date

I have signed the above letter. Detach and deliver itto House Speaker Hastert. I wish to support CRC's efforts to defeat this resolution and to continue our other important efforts. Iwould like to join or renew for $35 after my expiration date. Here is an additional contribution of Or chargemy Visa MC AMEX atotalof$ Card # Exp. date My membership # (see back of newsletter)

I cannot or am not able to join,renew, or contribute at this time, but sendmy signed letter to Speaker Hastert anyway.

Permission is hereby granted to reproduce the petition withor without credit to CRC. We strongly urge you to reproduce it and return it to CRC, for presentation of many petitions to Speaker Hastert. Be sure to get your family and friendsto sign. More copies of the petition are available from CRC. We appreciate your financial support to enable CRCto continue its work. Make your check or credit card paymentto CRC and send to 300 "I" Street NE., Suite 401, Washington,D.C. 20002, or fax credit card contribution to 202-546-4272. Or makea contribution to the CRC chapter in your state. 4 4 Children's Rights Council 1999CATALOG OF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANY BOOKSDISCOUNTED! BOOKS FOR KIDS Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. NEW! Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive I LoveYou More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. HB-204 *Discount Price $9.00 HB252 $16.95 The Divorce Decisions Workbook, by Margorie Engel, Daddy Day, Daughter Day, by Larry and Chaia King, 1992. Planning and action guide with 55 formulas to help 1997. A true story of divorce told through both a child's and you in four key decision areas:financial, legal, practical, and a father's perspective. emotional. SB-2006 SB-215 $12.95 *Discount Price $7.00

How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Ad- NEW! vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read one- Divorced Dads, Shattering the Myths, of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents as they by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. The sur- reshape their lives post-divorce. prising truth about fathers, children and SB-112 *Discount Price $4.00 divorce. HB-250 $24.95 I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative For the Sake of the Children, by Kris feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses how SB-2012 $4.95 to share your children with your ex-spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida coordinator. PHOTOCOPIES Questions from Dad, by Dwight Twilley, 1994. An effec- ONLY! tive way to develop better relationships between children HB-216 *Discount Price $9.00 and their parents. HB-240 *Discount Price $7.00 Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the im- What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, pact of divorce on children through different stages of their 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be lives. better than one. SB-231 $22.50 SB-307 $12.00 Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par- It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can help by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents begin children understand divorce and sends a to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as good message. partners, not enemies. SB-308 $5.99 SB-236 $23.00

The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. & Michelle Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate honest and open An outstanding book with a powerful message: while di- communication between adults and children at the trau- vorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where matic time of separation and divorce. Q and A for kids. parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. SB-2010 *Discount Price $6.00 HB-2001 $23.00

BOOKS FOR PARENTS Helping Your Children through Divorce, Florence 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co- Bienenfeld, Ph.D.,1995. A resource book depicting the im- parents and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, pact of divorce on children. and Step-family situations. SB-201A *Discount Price $7.00 SB-113 $9.95 The Joint Custody Handbook, by Miriam Cohen, 1991. The Adult Children of Divorce Workbook, by Mary A 1991 update of one of the classic books on joint custody. Hirschfeld, 1992. Visualization exercises help readers Contains sample parenting agreements. PHOTOCOPIES root our destructive feelings left over from their childhood. ONLY! SB-2009 *Discount Price $5.00 HB-213 $10.95 A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book thatFamilyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to commu- they play in changing patterns in their lives. nicating values. SB-225 *Discount Price $8.00 HB-282 $21.00 Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc-The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own research, Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal information. book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or SB-223A *Discount Price $10.00 more) for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price HB-223B *Discount Price $18.00 of $10 each, and make a profit for you or your organiza- tion! Individual copies will continue to be available from REVISED! CRC for $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies Mom's House, Dad's House, by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., last. If you would like copies (individual or bulk order) 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make autographed by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages like it autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give to this classic book! their names). SB-202 $20.00 SB-282 -Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 Individual copies $10.00 Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995. Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary Points our destructive habits by both genders which, when Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the na- realized, strengthen families and relationships. tionally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. SB-246 Extra Low Price $3.00 HB-284 $25.00 The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce, BOOKS FOR STEPARENTS by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Visher, Ph.D. SB-286 $16.95 and John Visher, M.D., 1982. The co-founders of the Stepfamily Association of America answer questions and Putting Kids First, by Michael Oddenino. A must readfor give suggestions on how to make stepfamilies work. caring parents and professionals, by CRC's General Coun-HB-301 $13.95 sel. Includes a children's bill of rights. SB-248 $9.95 Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/New Rules, by Claire Berman, 1986. Former president of the Stepfamily Second Chances, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Association of America provides practical help and insights. Blakeslee, 1989. Based on ten year longitudinal study ofSB-304 $7.95 the effects of divorce on adults and children. HB-22 *Discount Price $8.00Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Mala Burt for the Stepfamily Association of America. Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par-SB-303 $9.95 ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still valid in BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS discussing the problems of children being raised by single parents. Surviving Divorce-Women's Resources After SB-220 *Discount Price $10.00 Separation, by Mavis Maclean, 1991. Women coping with earnings, maintenance and welfare in the U.S., France, and Great Britain. Ciu:stinu n SutiCIS:vut NEW! Pmum FLAV HB-819 *Discount Price $5.00 Creating a Successful Parenting . &V; Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne Major. Nationallyac- Another Way Home: A Single Father's Story, by claimed author of "Breaththrough Parenting" John Thorndike, 1996. A memoir of Thorndike's life with and "Winning the Custody War Without Ca- his wife and the difficult decisions he has had to make re- sualties" garding their son's life. SB-280 $24.95 HB-651 $24.00

3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, Fatherless America, by David Blankenhorn, 1995. Shows 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- the devastating consequences of fatherlessness in both pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. individual families and in our society. HB-281 - $19.50 HB-622 $23.00

4 6 The Masculine Mystique: The Politics of Mascu-The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Emily Card, 1996. linity, by Andrew Kimbrell, 1995. Presents the argument A plan for managing your money when you are the only one that American men are in crisis and includes what lead to your family can count on. this phenomenon. SB-646 $14.95$ HB-802 $23.00 MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by Geoffery L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Mediation, housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, M.D., HB-642 $19.95 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase sys- tem to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Need to litigation. Know about Money and Divorce, by Esther M. HB-603 $45.00 Berger, 1996. SB-251 $22.00 Healing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults Recover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., New! CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's Journey, by Dalton, attorney and mediator HB-615 $15.00 CRC's own Serge Prengel, 1998. Published with praise from Warren Farrell, Karen De Crow, and James A. Cook. Parent Vs. Parent: How You and Your Child Can SB 252 $13.95 Survive the Custody Battle, by Stephen P. Herman, M.D., 1990. Expert advice for parents through all stages of The Myth of Male Power, by Warren Farrell, 1993. Rock the divorce process. solid and authentic decimation of the myth of male advan- HB-611 $20.95 tage ...sweeps aside stereotyped assumptions to uncover a deeper truth. Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized SB-245 *Discount Price $6.00 Divorce, by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the funda- mental skills of negotiation conflict resolution and Why Men Are the Way They Are, by Warren Farrell, mediation, for everyone's good. 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insights and SB-605A *Discount Price $9.00 desires. SB-243 *Discount Price $3.00 LEGAL ISSUES

Fa Fliers' Fathers' Rights, by Jeffrey Leving. A best-sell- A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, 1997. ing book for fathers who want to maintain contact A discussion of a divorced father's struggle with with their children. the child custody industry. SB-640 $12.50 HB-762 $21.00$

The Divorced Parent: Success Strategies for Rais- The Custody Revolution, by Richard ing Your Children After Separation, by Stephanie Warshak, 1992. The Father Factor and the Marston, 1994. Provides practical advice and specific tools Motherhood Mystique. for raising well-adjusted children. HB-702 *Discount Price $15.00 HB-643 $21.00 Custody for Fathers, by Carleen and Michael Brennan, Father's Day, by Bill McCoy, 1995. Witty and wise notes 1994. Includes more than 100 strategies that have helped from a new dad in the real world. fathers win (share) custody of their children in a mom-bi- HB-644 $22.00 ased system. HB-761 $15.00$ Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum, 1996. A collection of stories on being a man at midlife in America, Divorce and the Myth of Lawyers, by Lenard Marlow, with introduction by Robert Fulghum. J.D., 1992. The exposition of myths regarding the legal sys- HB-645 $21.95 tem and its effects on divorcing couples. HB-721 $10.95 Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster Child The Fathers Emergency Guide to Divorce/Custody Cush*Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about Mnde child custody and child support for a single Battle, A Tour Through the Predatory World of Judges, Law- parent. yers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Subculture of .41114SB-641 $21.95 Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the legal insights of Wil- WEAVER WA171111t liams Dawes, Esq., 1997. SB-247 $15.00 PARENTAL KIDNAPPING VIDEOS The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for mentalChildren: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex- health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. perience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC- An authoritative work on the Parental Alienation Syndrome. award winning video prepared by CRC's National Parent SB-1004 $30.00 Education Director. When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca V-902 $25.00 Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas, Texas Asso- searching for their children and abductors who have taken ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that them; also makes public policy recommendations. provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce. HB-901 $22.95 V-904 $20.00 Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- CHILD ABUSE tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, by Dean Tong, M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parents can alien- 1996. False Accusations of Child Abuse: A Roadmap for ate the child against the other parent. survivors which helps to answer their questions. V-906 $25.00 SB-2014 $15.95 REPORTS Protocols for Sex Abuse Evaluations, by Richard UPDATED 1997, Interference with Access (Visitation) as a Gardner, M.D., 1995. Presents a new series of criteria and Tort. Not a frequent remedy, but one that may be available. interview sequences to help examiners involvedin sex abuse R116 $10.00 evaluations. Send for a list of other reports. HB-1007 $39.95 Recognizing Child Abuse and Combating Child PINS AND BUTTONS Abuse, A comprehensive guide to recognizing, prevent- The famous "Children First" pin. ing, and handling child abuse and neglect, by a resident 8 colors, with figures of seven scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. (both books children standing on a field of by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D.) green with logo "Children First." SB-1006 *Discount Price $12.00 Two prongs. 3/4" high, 1-1/2" wide. HB-1008 *Discount Price $20.00 P101 $8.00 Button created by Patti Diroff that says "Child

The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can 1SP support is more than a check, it's being a par- 6 atoguATMOAtt Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gelles 1996. A con- I ent." With CRC logo, including children's faces. vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child wel- 4 colors, round, 2-1/4" diameter. fare system. B202 $2.00 HB-1022 $23.00 T-SHIRTS Suggestions of Abuse, by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D. 1994. CRC 4-color t-shirts say "Help Stop Crime, Give Children 2 A book about true and false memories of childhood sexual Parents" Specify size: child S, M, L; Adult S, M, L, XL. trauma. Specify color: white, blue, or light tan. HB-1023 -$22.00 $10 adults, $8 children r OrderForm Title Total enclosed Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title exp. date Title Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Total Suite 401 S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 SHIP ORDER TO: NAME: ADDRESS: A CITY: STATE: 8 ZIP: IL 104" And Dads Why KidsNeed Morns social problem is the mostsignificant family or believe thatfatherlessness Seventy-two percentof Americans facing America. sobering statistics: dads in the lastyear. Here are some haven't seen their biological father. In1960, just 9 of the childrenof divorced parentsmillion, don' tlive with their or Forty percent approximately 24.7 percent of children, while the Nr Thirty-six lived with one parent. 224,300 in 1960 to1,248,000 in 1995, percent of children increased from 5,862,000 in 1995. of live births tounmarried women grew from221,000 in 1960 to in tdr The number never-maried mothers likely to be a teen momif she grows up number of childrenliving with is five times more girl with anadvantaged backgroundbiological dad and morn. or A white teen-age instead of with her likely to divorceand headed by a single mom while singleand are more a household homes are morelikely to give birth especially likely to have in single-mother before their 5thbirthday are to- Girls raised that girls whosefathers depart remarry. Studieshave shown others. attitudes and toseek approval from likely to be poorand 10 times as permissive sexual their moms arefive times as living withoutdads married to ger young children the U.S. Departmentof likely to beextremely poor. risk of drug andalcohol abuse," says children are "at adramatically greater eir Fatherless when teen-agers. Health and HumanServices. 4.3 times morelikely to smoke cigarettes their kids, thechildren are ir When dadsdon't live with

this: But consider twice as likely to or Childrenwith fathers are TV Shows stay inschool. dad and mom at home half as Fatherless dr Boys with softheir likely to beincarcerated, regaldlesare A just-releasedNational Fatherhood that of the 102 Initiative analysisfound parents' income oreducationDomestic prime-time networkTV shows in late a Men AgainstDomestic featured a father 1998, only 15 eir According to as a central character.Of these, the 85 percent ofyouths in trayed the father majority por- Violence survey, as uninvolved, incompetentor both. prison are fromfatherless homes. Source: The NationalCenter for Public with fathers Policy Research,a non- oir Girls 15-19raised in homes partisan Capitol Hillthink-tank. less likely to engage inn are significantly -age premarital sex, and76 percent of t Mothers said their fathers arevery or Important toChildren girls surveyed It is a little known influential over theirdecisions fact that, accordingto Census Bureau somewhat there are about 2million non-custodial data, regarding sex. mothers in the U.S. with better Mothers often havea worse time of Nr Paternalpraise is assoaated not having custodythan achievement inschool fathers, according-tocustody observers, behavior and pected to have custody. because mothersare ex- while father absenceincreases When mothers donot have custody, people in young often think theremust be "something vulnerability and aggressiveness wrong" with the There is "nothingwrong" with the mother. children,particularly boys. mother. Some mothersvolun- households with tarily relinquishcustody to tar Childrenliving in pursue educationalor job opportuni- likely to suffer from ties. Other motherslose custody in the fathers are less vail in our domestic "win-lose" battles thatpre- and depression. relations courts. emofional disorders When the day with involveddads are less comes that Americareplaces the win-lose or Children ressure, are more tion of custodybattles with a "win-win" situa- susceptible to peer p has frequent and situation in whicha child competent, moreself-protective, more continuing contact withmom, dad, and extended family, "non-custodialmom" (like self-reliant and moreambitiou. non-custodial dad)will go the Initiative, way of the dodo bird,except in cases where Source:National Fatherhood tody arrangements more restrictivecus- D.C. are needed to protect thechild. Washington, Source: The Children'sRights Council , From Volume 14, Number 2, Summer/Fall`1999, Speak Out for Children, newsletter of the Children's Rights Council 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 4-01;Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 phone (202) 547-6227 49 CoWdL IN THE COMBINED FEDERAL CAMPAIGN, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL(CRC)

We are a member of the Children's Charities of America (CCA).Look for CRC's listing in the index of the CFC Brochure, then turn to the page given for CCA'smembers.

CHILDREN'S CHARITIES OF AMERICA The Children's Rights Council works toassure that children of separation and divorce obtain as much emotional and financial support as children of intact marriages.

Some of CRC's accomplishments:

Credited with being the organization that convinced Congress,for the first time in history, to provide funds for access/visitation demonstrationprograms in 1988;

110 The results of the above 1988 grantswere so positive that in the 1996 Welfare Reform Law, Congress provided $10 million a year for all 50states and jurisdictions to provide access/visita- tion programs;

100 Publicized Census Bureau findings in 1998 that thestates with the highest amount of joint physi- cal custody in 1989-1990 had the lowest divorcerates in the subsequent years 1991-1995;

Publicized findings that children with two parents generallyhave fewer problems with drugs and crimes than children with only one parent. Obtained changesin attitudes and laws in order to encourage a child's bonding to two parents and extended family;

10 Promoted the school-based "Banana Splits"program to help children of separation and divorce channel the transition in their lives into stronger academicachievement;

Award-winner for assisting a county outside Washington D.C.(Prince George's, MD) in hiring staff to improve bonding between children and their non-custodialparents; and

0 Provided assistance to parents and professionalson how to get through the divorce process in the most peaceful, problem-freeway, so as to take the stress out of divorce. Money that would be spent on battling between parents is available for the children.

CRC only receives funds thatyou actually designate!

The Children's Rights Council isa national non-profit organization at 300 "I" St., NE #401, Washington,D.C.20002-4389. Phone: 202/547-6227 Fax: 202/546-4272. See our web site at http://www.vix.com/crc/

To obtain a copy of our Catalog of Resources, Directory ofParenting Organizations, Affiliation Book, Annual Report, or latest audit, write or call CRC. Thankyou.

PLEASE COPY, DISTRIBUTE,AND POST IN FEDERAL OFFICES, POST OFFICES,AND MILITARY BASES.

BEST COPY AVAILABLE ,a2 5 0 IN UNITED WAY, WORKPLACE, AND CORPORATE CAMPAIGNS, CONTRIBUTE TO THE CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL (CRC).

CRC works to strengthen families through education and advocacy. We favor family for- mation and family preservation, but if families break up, or are never formed, we work to assure a child the frequent and continuing contact with two parents and extended family the child would normally have during marriage. Our motto is "The Best Parent is Both Parents."

For the child's benefit, CRC favors parenting education before marriage, during mar- riage, and in the event of separation. We work to demilitarize divorce between parents who are involved in marital disputes, substituting mediation for the adversarial process, and pro- viding for emotional and financial child support. We also favor school-based programs for children at risk. There are several ways you can contribute to the Children's Rights Council:

through the Combined Federal Campaign if you work for the federal government at any federal office, post office, or military base;

g in the Washington, D.C. and San Francisco Bay Area United Way campaigns;

411 if you wish to contribute to CRC through a United Way where we are not listed, please ask your employer if you can designate (write in) the Children's Rights Council;

goo in corporate campaigns throughout the United States; or

ir if you wish to contribute directly to CRC, write to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, If Washington, D.C. 20002-4389. Contributions accepted on Visa, MC, or AMEX credit cards.

Visit the Children's Rights Council on the Website: http://www.vix.com/crc/ All contributions are tax-deductible.

CHILDREN FIRST! THANK YOU! To join, or for more information, call (202) 547-6227.

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51 Court Cases

Intentional Interference a situation where each divorced parentJuly1997, Campbell destroyed the child with Parent-Child had one of two children for a longersupport check and refused to allow visi- Relationship period than the other parent. The sontation. Three months later, Campbell's The Florida Supreme Court ruled lived 59 percent of his time with the fa-husband petitioned to adopt the child. on June 17 that a claim for intentional ther, and the rest with the mother. TheThe adoption petition stated that interference with the custodial parent-daughter lived 71 percent of the timeWalker's consent was not required, be- child relationship by a non-parent waswith the mother, and the rest of the time cause he had abandoned the child, and actionable. However, the court appearedwith the father. There is no provision inhad not had his paternity legally estab- to confine application of this principlethe state child support guidelines tolished. Although the mother and her to the defense of custodial parents' rights.cover such an arrangement. The courthusband did not notify Walker of the The court rejected a contention that therejected the father's argument that theproposed adoption, he found out about state's abolition of claims for alienationcustodial arrangement should be classi-it and objected. Nevertheless a court of affections precludes recognition of thefied as shared responsibility, because onpermitted the adoption to go ahead. cause at action. The cause was initiatedaverage the children spent 44 percent ofHowever, the Appeals Court said that by a divorced father, who brought a cus-their time with him. Instead, the courtadoption statutes that operated to extin- todial interference claim against hissaid, the daughter's child support should guish automatically Walker's rights with- daughter's maternal grandmother, herbe determined as if she were the sole out a notice or a hearing violated his due aunt, and their lawyer. The father saidchild in a basic visitation arrangement, process rights under the federal and state that the grandmother and aunt conspiredand the parents should be required toconstitutions. to abduct the child while she was in herprovide child support in accordance with [Walker v. Campbell, Ind. Ct. App., now-deceased mother's custody in Vir-their incomes. In regard to the son, theNo. 17A03-9806-CV-279, 5/24/99] ginia. The Florida Supreme Court saidcustodial an-angementwas the equivalent that 16 state supreme courts had recog-of shared custody, and the shared cus- Parental Alienation and nized the tort of intentional interferencetody rules should apply, the court said. Maintenance Noting that the guidelines assumed that with the custodial relationship or abduc- A mother's poisoning of her teenage tion. The court pointed out that the tortthe additional expense of providing a home for the second child was much lessson's relationship with his father justified of intentional interference with business a reduction in the amount of mainte- relationships was recognized in Florida, than the additional expenses for the first child, the court decided that thenance the father must pay the mother, and argued that the custodial relation- the New York Supreme Court, New ship was entitled to no less legally recog-motherwho has the lower income would receive support at the full first-York County, has ruled. The court nized protection from unreasonable in- found that the son's four-year estrange- terference. Courts must be vigilantchild level for the daughter, and support at the second-child level for the son. The ment from the father was a clear result against abuse of the legal process, the of the mother's vindictive decision to Florida Supreme Court said. However, mother will receive credit for her share of the cost of a second child during thealienate the child from the father. The the court added, those who would by- court said that denial of all maintenance pass the legal system by taking children son's stay with her. The father will re- ceive credit for his share of a first childto the mother would adversely impact from persons who had a superior right the child. It thus concluded that the fa- to legal custody caused a far greater af-during the son's stay with him. [Erickson v. Erickson, N.M. Ct. ther should pay her only the amount she front to the justice system. reasonably needed to meet her daily liv- (Stone v. Hall, Fla. No. 92499, 6/17/ App., No. 19428, 4/1/99 released 5/6/ 99] ing expenses. The award was contingent 99). on the mother ensuring adherence to the current visitation schedule. Child Support and Unmarried Father's Rights [R.B. v. S.B., Sup. Ct., NYLJ 3/31/ Unconventional Custody 99] Situation An unmarried father who paid child support was entitled to his say on adop- New Mexico's child support guide-tion proceedings, even though there Father Loses Custody to lines should be adapted to cover an un-were no legal proceedings to establish Maternal Grandparents conventional custody situation, even ifpaternity, the Indiana Court of Appeals The New Jersey Superior Court, Ap- there is no statutory provision for theheld on May 24. Jack Walker, the manpellate Division, ruled May 28 that a specific situation, the New Mexico Courtin question, was the putative father of anchild's maternal grandparents had a of Appeals ruled in a decision releasedout-of-wedlock child born to Jenniferstronger claim to custody of an out-of- May 6. The court looked to "economic Campbell in 1991. He paid child sup-wedlock child than the child's father, fol- realities" to determine child support inport and exercised regular visitation. Inlowing the death of the mother. The Page 22 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999 child was born to a 17-year-old girl, who died 12 days after giving birth. The court concluded that the maternal grandpar- ents had been the child's "psychological New Board Member County, California, but can handle parents" since the death of the mother and Advisors cases anywhere in the country. in August 1996. As a result, the court said it was in the child's best interests to Terry Cady, Illinois's CRC coor- A Way to Adjust remain with the grandparents. The fa- dinator, has been elected to the CRC the Guideline ther was granted liberal parenting time. Board of Directors. He will represent A dissenter to the court's decision said the CRC chapters. Cady, a senior vice Ask a state agency working on the father should have been awarded president of Bank of America, admin-child support guidelines in your state custody, arguing that the appropriate isters a $200,000 access/visitationto invite Don Bieniewicz, CRC's ex- standard was not the best interests of the grant in DuPage County, Illinois. pert on guidelines, to tes child, but whether or not the father was Two other CRC state coordina- Asking Bieniewicz to testify could a fit parent. By this standard, the father tors, Fred Wall of North and Southhelp convince your state to adopt would have custody, the dissenter said. Carolina, and Margaret Wuwert, ofportions of the only guidelines we [Watkins v. Nelson, N.J. App. Div., Ohio, will be advisors to the boardknow of that is based on a child hav- No. A-4552-97T1, 5/28/99] from the chapters. The changes wereing two parents. approved by the CRC board, from This CRC guideline, authored by The above cases are summarized suggestions by chapter heads as waysBieniewicz, was published by the fed- from Family Law Reporter. They appear to increase chapter participation in theeral government in a publication en- here by permission of the publisher, The national board activities. "An organi-titled "Child Support Guidelines: Bureau of National Affairs, Inc. zation is only as strong as its chapters,"The Next Generation." said CRC's CEO Sam Brunelli. CRC To obtain a copy of the federal congratulates these appointees as wepublication, phone (202) 401-9383, take steps to improve services to thewhich is the Office of Child Support chapters. Enforcement's Child Support Refer- Patronize ence Center, located at 370 L'Enfant Our Advertisers Promenade SW, Washington, D.C. Mediation, Move-away 20447. There is no charge for the Help publication, as long as supplies last. Advertise in CRC's News- Leslee Newman, J.D., who has Copies of the guideline itself as letter: 5,000 circulated been giving free consultations onpublished by the government are with a Nationwide read- move-away issues to CRC members, available from CRC for $5.00 for ership of 25,0001 is available for mediation consulta-CRC members, and $10.00 for non- tions (at a fee) . Leslee, who is a trainedmembers, including shipping and Business Card $75 mediator, can be reached at 714 -282-handling. 1515. Her husband Don Smith, Write to Bieniewicz at 10004 Quarter page $150 Ph.D., clinical psychologist, is avail-Fairoaks Road, Vienna, VA 22181, (3.575 x 4.825") able for child custody evaluations.contact him viaemailat Don's number is 714-939-6678. [email protected], or phone 703- Half page $275 and Leslee are both in Orange 255-0837 (evenings). (7.15" x 4.825")

Full page $500 Donors Are Appreciated (7.15" x 9.65") CRC thanks everyone who contributes to CRC in the charity drive that takes place in all federal government offices every Fall. CRC is part ofInde- For information contact: pendent Charities of America. We also thank those who contribute toCRC Andrew Ross in the Washington, D.C., and San Francisco (Bay Area) United Way cam- 301/320-5960 paigns. We also thank those who contribute to CRC through their UnitedWay Lawrence Peckmazian in some other part of the country, where we are not listed, but whereemploy- 703/920-1451 ers may sometimes allow employees to designateCRC. CRC depends on volunteer help and contributions for its existence. If you wish to make your tax-deductible contribution directly toCRC, send it to CRC, 300 I Street, Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002.

Summer/Fall 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 23 5 1 Around the Country

Parents Get Way to Florida's new law has no such guide- CRC note: The 20 percent of non- lines. It requires courts to adjust supportcustodial parents who are mothers and Lower Child Support payments whenever noncustodial par-their children should also benefit from Dow Jones Newswires ents spend a "substantial" amount ofthe new law. July 28, 1999 time with their children, however long judges determine that to be. After mak- A controversialing that call, judges are free to set pay- Ask your state legislators new Florida state ments as they see fit, so long as they con- to pass a law similar to law will give parents sider parents' income and expenses, Florida's. Give credit for a It who pay child sup-among other factors. child having two parents! port a chance to Send the legislators this lower their monthly Some Judges Object article. payments. But far from appreciating the extra Despite fiercediscretion, many state judges are exas- GovernorJeb Bush opposition from aperated by the lack of guidance. In aJune Absence of Black number of judgesletter to Gov. Bush, six judges from the and attorneys, Gov.11th Judicial Circuit of Florida in Mi- Fathers Decried Jeb Bush (R) signed a measure that re-ami called for a veto of the law, arguing by Cheryl Wetzstein quires judges to consider the amount ofthat its loose parameters amounted to from The Washington Times time parents spend with their children"gobbledygook," absent any practical June 17, 1999 in determining child support. When themeans of implementation. Trying to fig- new law takes effect October 1, all non-ure out exactly how much noncustodial The "silence" about the absence of custodial parents with substantial visita-parents spend on such things as the costfathers in black homes has been broken, tion privileges will be eligible for a breakof an extra room for their children willsay scholars who released a statement in what they owe. be time-consuming, according to theabout the "great social tragedy." Rep. Steve Effman, a Democrat fromjudges; the effort, they said, would cause "What we're saying is that children Plantation, says he sponsored the legis-them "to leave each night with perma-need their fathers," said Obie Clayton lation to prevent fathers, who representnently crossed eyes." Jr., director of the Morehouse Research up to 90 percent of noncustodial parents Without clearly defined calculationInstitute. Mr. Clayton told a news con- in Florida, from having to pay "doublemethods, some lawyers fear child sup-ference that a national effort to recon- child support." port will be set arbitrarily, such as it was nect fathers with their children should Beyond their monthly financial ob- 15 years ago, before the Legislature sug-be undertaken. ligations, fathers incur additional ex-gested awards for courts to issue. Those Data show that fatherlessness is ram- penses such as paying for housing, food,guidelines became mandatory in 1989,pant in black families, about 70 percent and other necessities during visits witha year after the Legislature studied the of black children are born to single moth- their children, Rep. Effman said, and thisissue and found child-support levels var-ers, and that fatherlessness is growing the places an undue burden on fathers who ied widely across the state. They are also fastest in white families. And 40 percent spend a considerable amount of timeoften too low to support children. of all children live without their fathers, with their children. So he crafted a bill "There's no question about it," saysmostly because of divorce or unwed to make sure judges account for theseJudge Rosemary Barkett of Miami, whochildbearing. extra costs when setting child-supportdirected the study and is now a member Children who grow up without their levels. of the 11th Circuit U.S. Court of Ap-fathers are at heightened risk for prob- "It's a matter of equity," said Rep.peals. "Those awards didn't go very far." lems in their physical and mental health, Effman. Now, some lawyers say, awards willeducational achievement, social behav- The resulting legislation gives Floridabe made in the same haphazard fashion,ior, careers and future family formation, one of the most liberal child-supportthreatening the ability of divorced moth-said the Institute's report. standards in the nation. Twenty otherers to raise children. states already have scaled back child sup- The Florida chapter of the National Study Implies that port payments for active noncustodialConference for Fathers and Children, parents, but in those states, parents mustone of the groups that pushed for the Primary Caretaker spend at least 90 days a year with theirlaw, says that national studies have dem- Doctrine is Shaky children, and sometimes more, beforeonstrated that the more fathers see their qualifying for lower payments. Precisechildren, the more likely they are to pay The Washington Post (March 1, formulas then dictate how much is owed.child support. 1999) reported the results of a multi-year Page 24 Speak Out For ChildrenSummer/Fall 1999 study conducted by University of Mas- sachusetts psychologist Elizabeth Harvey. The study found overwhelming evidence that the general quality of fam- In Memory Of ily is much more important in determin- ing the child's later development than Frank Anderson, who was CRC's Massachusetts coordinator, former the question of whether or not the international.president of Parents' Without Partners, and superb politi- mother is employed. The data is col- cal strategist, died in June, 1999, after a long bout with cancer. Ander- lected in the National Longitudinal Sur- son, of Revere, Massachusetts, and CRC officials visited various federal vey of Youth and was published in the offices in years past pressing for legislation for policies that would en- March issue of Developmental Psychol- courage children to have access to both moms and dads. Anderson knew ogy. The American Congress for Fathers how to figure out the political landscape of any situation, and he did it and Children pointed out that basically, with humor and gusto. He leaves his wife Mary and a son from a previ- the study's results serve as a convincing ous marriage. counterargument to those trying to ad- vance the notion that the primary caregiver should automatically become the custodial parent in divorces. CRC Wants Chapters in Every State Family Facts For development of chapters in states that do not yet have any CRC Photocopy and distribute the "Fam- chapters, contact Ron Pilcher, 513/755-2932, or advisors to the CRC board ily Facts" on page 19! Use as hand-outs Fred Wall in North Carolina and Margaret Wuwert in Ohio. (See their when visiting the Legislature, disseminat- phone numbers on page 26). ing information to the courts or the me- Join CRC, then ask for a copy of the 100-page CRC booklet that ex- dia, or as a resource for testimony and plains everything you need to know about affiliation. The cost of the booklet Letters to the Editor. "Family Facts" is a is $15.oth regular feature of this newsletter. Send To form additional chapters in states that already have one or more us your verified facts (with actual cop- chapters, contact the state coordinator or existing state chapter head listed ies, sources and dates) to "Family Facts," on page 26. CRC.

THIS RIVETING EXPOSÉ REVEALS HOW JUDGES, ATTORNEYS, PSYCHIATRISTS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS VIOLATE LAW & ETHICS IN THEIR MISGUIDED ZEAL TO IDENTIFY A "PRIMARY PARENT"

One Divorced A FAMILY DIVIDED Father's Story A Divorced Father's Struggle with the Child Custody Industry Every Father's and Child's Nightmare 4 ,moo eme 772eodeedopt 547pp Prometheus Books ' Cloth $27.9b

"Robert Mendelson's new book, A Family Divided compellingly chronicles Dr. Michael Nieland's journey through the land mines we call family court, and along the way provides important advice to fathers facing the prospect of divorce as well as thoughtful recommendations to policy makers for change. Don't go to divorce court without having read this book!" -- Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative

A Family Divided is on target about the social ill that faces society today.I liken it to social cancer." -- Sidney Siller, Chairman/Founder of the National Organization for Men How to Purchase A FAMILY DIVIDED Bookstores *Internet: vtr.vw_amazon.com Publisher: 1.800.421.0351 (Prometheus Books) CRC Catalog of Resources

Summer/Fall 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 25 BEST COPYAVAILABLF ,1 5 National Affiliate Organizations and Chapters

National Affiliate Colorado Kevin O'Brien Dominick Romano, president William J. Clemens, treasurer Mark En trekin, coordinator CRC of Kentucky New Jersey Council for Children's CRC of Philadelphia Organizations CRC of Colorado P 0 Box 74126 Rights P 0 Box 11413 (NJCCR) Philadelphia, PA 19111 Mothers Without Custody (MW/ 4715 Ranch Circle Dayton, OH 41074-0126 Colorado Springs, CO 80918-4118 513/624-7223 PO Box 316 phone: 215/844-3440 oq Pluckem in, NJ 07978-0316 Jennifer (sham, coordinator phone: 719/548-8798 phone: 973/694-9323 South Carolina-see North Caro- website only http: www/ fax: 719/597-2218 Maryland fax: 973/443-9358 lina motherswithoutcustody.org email: [email protected] Harvey Walden, coordinator CRC of Maryland email: [email protected] website: www.njcccr.org Tennessee StepfamilyAssociation of America Connecticut 417 Pershing Drive David Courson, coordinator (SAA) Mark Roseman, coordinator Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 New York CRC of Tennessee Margorie Engel, president CRC of Connecticut 301/588-0262 Kim Boedecker-Frey, coordinator 2120 Griffintown Road Larry Kallemyn, Executive 48 Shepards Knoll Drive website:Intp:// CRC of New York White Bluff, TN 31708-5207 Director Hamden, CT 06514 www.members.tripod.com/ 231 Main Street, Suite 1 615/327-8667 650J Street, Suite 205 phone: 203/288-7827 -mdcrc/ Vestal, NY 13850 Lincoln, Nebraska 68508 fax: 203/281-1425 phone and fax: (607) 785-9338 Texas 402/477-7837 email: [email protected] Rob and Sandra Snow, chairs Children's Rights Coalition (Affili- 1-800/735-0329 website: paradisetech.com/ CRC of Greater Baltimore Thomas Thornton, president ate) Joint membership in SAA and ctcrc.htm 2 West 39th Street CRC of New York City P.O. Box 12961 CRC: $35.00 for the first year Baltimore, MD 21218 Delaware phone and fax: 410/889-9404 499 Ft. Washington Avenue, #3D Capitol Station New York, NY 10033 Austin, TX 78711-2961 CRC Chapters James A. Morning, president email: baltocrceyahoo.com CRC of Delaware hotline: 212/431-7724 fax: 512/499-8056 fax: 2112/740-7008 email: [email protected] CRC of Japan PO Box 1311 Massachusetts email: [email protected] Walter Benda Dover, DE 19901 Ted Ell, president Vermont P.O. Box 583 302/734-8522 CRC of Cape Cod North Carolina/South Carolina Laurie Casey, coordinator Max Meadows, VA 24360 email:[email protected] 1 Emily's Lane Fred Wall, Jr. coordinator The Family Tree Access Center 540/637-3576 Sandwich, MA 02563-2794 509 N. Seventh Street I Scale Avenue, Suite 62 email: [email protected] District of Columbia phone:508/420-1701 Wilmington, NC 28401 Howe Center and Frank Banner, coordinator fax: 508/428-5976 910/762-4952 Rutland, VT 05701 Brian Thomas CRC of the District of Columbia email: [email protected] 802/775-0068 4-18-15-903 Kamiki Tazawa 1-fillcrest Children's Center George Kelly, chairman website: [email protected] Setagaya-Ku 1325 "W" Street N.W. 3rd floor Concerned Fathers of Massachu- Tokyo, Japan 156 Washington, D.C. 20009 setts, Inc. Virginia Dan Carrigan, Director John Vaughan, president 011-81-3-5317-4371 phone: 202/232-6100 P 0 Box 2768 fax: 202/483-4560 Springfield, MA 01101-2768 Center for Children of Separation CRC of Virginia, Tidewater chapter and Divorce P 0 Box 61245 Alabama phone: 413/736-7432 4950 Park Road Virginia Beach, VA 23462 Dr. Richard C. Weiss, coordinator Florida fax: 413/732-3867 Charlotte, NC 28209 phone: 757/463-KIDS 514 Heritage Court S. Kris Kline, coordinator 704/522-1331 email:[email protected] Auburn, AL 36830 CRC of Florida Michigan website: childrens-rights.org phone: 334/826-1832 or 355 Shore Drive Barbara Toth, coordinator Ohio 334/844-2666 Ellen ton, FL 34222 CRC of Michigan phone:941/722-8688 P 0 Box 653 Margaret Wuwert, coordinator MurraySteinberg, president CRC of Ohio CRC of Virginia, Richmond chap- Alaska fax: 813/620-9068 _Edmore,.M1,48829-0653 CRC of Northwest Ohio ter Gary Maxwell, coordinator email: [email protected] 517/427-5774 2745 Sagamore Road 9244 Royal Grant Drive CRC of Alaska Toledo, OH 43606 Mechanicsville, VA 23116 P.O. Box 92003 Georgia hfmnesota 419/472-1471 phone: (804) 559-7090 Anchorage, AK 99509-2083 Harry A. Prillaman, coordinator Bruce Kaskubar, coordinator fax: (804) 559-7092 phone: 907/277-3980 CRC of Georgia CRC of Minnesota Parents and Children for Equality email: [email protected] fax: 907/276-3980 1645 Williams Drive 5905 Chateau Road N.W. Kevin O'Brien, director email: gmaxwell @alaska.net Marietta, GA 30066-0468 Rochester, MN 55901 phone 678/643-5924 phone and fax: (507) 289-5745 P 0 Box 8805 Paul Robinson, president Cincinnati, 01-145208 Fathers United for Equal Rights and Arizona fax: 678/643-5923 (call before faxing) phone: 513/624-7223 Women's Coalition Conrad Greene, coordinator email: [email protected] email: Brucek @deskmedia.com fax: 513/624-3703 P 0 Box 1323 CRC of Arizona email: [email protected] Arlington, VA 22210-1323 P 0 Box 454 Minois Missouri website: www.pacegroup.org phone: (703) 451-8580 Scottsdale, AZ 85252-0454 Terry Cady, coordinator Scott Field, chair fax: (301) 568-5812 phone: 602/970-5903 CRC of Illinois CRC of Eastern Missouri Oregon email: [email protected] fax: 602/970-5925 905 Wayne Avenue P.O. Box 220661 Deerfield, IL 60015 Kirkwood, MO 63122 Roy Nolan, coordinator CRC of Oregon Washington State California phone: 847/374-0461 314-963-4668 P 0 Box 2095 Jamaica Filgo Will Brown, president fax: 312/322-3553 ad. phones 314/878-1262 Portland, OR 97208 CRC of Washington CRC of California email: [email protected] 314/838-7092 phone: 503/232-8630 P.O. Box 222 P 0 Box 60811 email: [email protected] Fax: 503/233-9390 Arlington, WA 98223 Sacramento, CA 95860-0811 Indiana Karyn Stone, secretary-treasurer phone: 541/482-6881 phone: 916/488-KIDS David Dinn, coordinator CRC of Southwestern Missouri Permsylvania email: [email protected] fax: 916/441-2024 CRC of Indiana 1701 S. Fort Avenue Ann Poliakoff, coordinator email: [email protected] 2625 N. Meridian, Suite 202 Springfield, MO 65807 Indianapolis, IN 46208-7703 417/862-1592 West Virginia Anne and Michael Poliakoff, chairs Ginger Thompson Patricia Gehlen, coordinator phone: 317/925-5433 CRC of Harrisburg/Capitol Region CRC of West Virginia (916) 635-2590 fax: 317 /926 -DINN Nebraska/Iowa email: [email protected] Lyn and William Huerter, coordi- 2054 N. 2d Street 3706 Washington St Harrisburg, PA 17110 S. Charleston, W.Va 25309 Regional directors Grandparent Rights in New nators 717/213-0183 phone: 304/749-6534 Los Angeles, Keith Fagan Strength (G.R.I.N.S.) fax: 304/744-8657 818/705-4752 Kay and Ray Berryhill, co-directors Mike Hyland, president email: [email protected] Placer and Nevada counties 0689 CR 5 CRC of Nebraska Michael Nieland, M.D. president John Costello Corunna, IN 46730 P 0 Box 37387 CRC of Pittsburgh Wisconsin 916/489-3482 219/281-2384 Omaha, NE 68137-5387 460 S. Graham St. Nancy Kellogg Riverside, Ted Hill 402/330-3353 (voice and fax) Pittsburgh, PA 15232 P 0 Box 452 909/781-7277 Iowa - See Nebraska /Iowa email: [email protected] 412/441-2200 Racine, WI 53401-0452 Yolo, Kitty Jackson website: www.htmp.net/oma (414) 619-3024 916/753-8867 Kentucky New Jersey Rita A. Jones, president email: [email protected]

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Jed Abraham Ann Davis Jack Halloran Lawrence Morgan Kathryn Ropees David Adams Barry Davis LishaHaning Joe Motacek James Rore Lou Adolph John/Monica Davis Christopher Hardaway Maggie Mudd Mark Roseman Sam Aghli Donald Dimon M Joseph Harvey Brent Mullen Thomas Savedge Oye Alle Don Ditto Geoffrey Hawley Ellen Muller Gregg Schaff Kenneth Altadonna Wiley Dobbs Reggie Heisler Patricia Murphy Robert Schreiber Raymond Altevogt David Dolinar Gerrie Highto Greta Murray Margaret Schrueder Lola Bailey Judith Ehret Ken Hoberman Don Nadeau John Schulte Faye Bales Robert Eier Charles Hoeft Shaaram Nameni Jeff Seat Janice Barker Michael Ellis Phillip Holman Mike Neader Robert &Ann Seidenberg Aaron Barley Douglas Evans Ned Holstein Paul Nester Arnold Shienvold M Pope Barrow L Evans C Honan Sylvester Nickpee Michael Short Francis Baumli Pamela Evans Bev Hyde Marion Niemi Phyllis Simon avid Baz Joe Facca William Hynes Norma Nissenson Louis Snyder Greg Beard Judy Farris Stewart Iden Kevin O'Brien Alan Spadine Steven Becker Karl Firmbach David Johnson Hugh O'Donnell Jackie Stewart Charlotte Beckett James Fisher Carl Jones Richard O'Neil Robert Stewart John Belcher Michael Fleming Michael Karp Carole Olson Mary Stib David Bell Stephen Fleming Michael Kee Lester Ostroy Vivian Stoutimore R Benjamin Joseph Flores Judy Kentor Robert Pasnak David Tait Boris Bergus Winn Forkner Carol Lee Kipps Settle J Patrick Paterson Patrick Tang William Bibbs Bryan Fowler Neal Klopping Lizabeth Patuto John Thompson Kim Boedecker-Frey Don/Lorraine Franz Bruce Kongslien Forestine Paulay Faye Utyro James Boslough Lina Frescasdobbs Carissa Kopp Hans Pawlisch Jerry Vara Kevin Braend Quint Garnos Joe Kritsky Fred Pescatore John Vaughan Coni Brandyond Gary Garriot Michelle Krstyen Rusty Peverell Richard Waldron Farriel Britt Carolyn George Mike Kucik Jan Pijanowslci Dennis Walk Mike Brumber Scott George Judy Kutter Ken Pilon Greg Waller Sam Brunelli Melanie Greenan-Engle Patrick Lacy Brock Pinelli Jay & Kate Walsh Lynn Bruner Inge Ginsburg Michael Lamb Michael Poliakoff Ian Warburg Robert Carey Michael Giuliano Vicki Lansky Kim Prestidge John Weaver Neil Carpathios Dana Goldie Robert Lasheff Allen Price Donald Webb Leighton Chong Mike Graves James Levine Edward Quesada Marc Weller Joseph Civisca Wardell Gray Linda Lee Lockwood V Rajan William Wells Gary/Sandra Clark William Green David Lubofsky Joe Reid Pat Whalen Robert Conklin Kathryn Gregg Richard Martin John Richards Thomas Wiehl Richard Cordes Martin Griffith Walter Martin JoAnne Risser-Hicks Ron Williams Glen Cote Sonja Griffith Gary Maxwell Denis Roberts Wayne Williams David Courson Edward Gross Michael McCoy Wendy Robinson Louis Winston Gregory Todd Darabcsek Gerald Guzi Mike / Wilma Miles Mary Roch Bill/Martha Zeltner Deborah Datz Roger Hall John Money Jacob Roginsky Tim Zirbil Summer/Fall 1999 Speak Out For Children Page 27 A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES AND Non-Profit Organization ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. Ar5Ri CinkkilL Permit#881

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CI Life Member, $500 USponsor, $125 Is this a new address? Benefits Indude: Other, $ Yes No Quarterly Newsletter "Best Parent..." Name: Bumper Sticker Copy of a National Address: Conference Pro- ceedings City: State: ZIP: FREE telephone con- versation with a na- Home Phone: Work Phone: tionally recognized expert on Move- Away issues! E-mail: Date: Much, much more! May we occasionally give your name to other groups for mailings approved by CRC? Yes No Send Application & Contribution to: CRC300 "I" Street, NESuite 401Washington, DC 200024389 Call 202/547-6227 to charge your membership to VISA/Mastercard or AMEX Bulk copies of this newsletter are available (20 for $20, 50 for $40, and 100 for $75) for distribution to policy makers, judges, and interested persons in your state. Send order to CRC Winter 1999/2000 Vol. 14-No. 3 ISSN 1042-3559 Strengthening Families Assisting Children of Through Education Never-Married, And Advocacy Separated and Divorced Parents CuTToz at The Quarterly Newsletter of the Children's Rights Council, Inc. 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 Phone (202)547-6227 IN THIS ISSUE: $150 Million Fathers CountAct The CRC View 4 Passes in House Divorce Rate Expected to Drop 5 As part of its continuing efforts on welfare reform and welfare-to-work initiatives, the House of Repre- Around the Country 6 sentatives passed a $150 million "Fathers Count Act" 1999 Conference a (FCA) on November 10,1999, by a vote of 328 to 93. Success 7 The Senate is considering S.1364, the Responsible Fatherhood Act of 1999, a similar bill which the Sen- States Encouraged to ate is expected to act on in early 2000. Forgive Arrearages 10 The House bill is one of the first times that a Main Sponsors Johnson Cardin Some Major CRC branch of Congress has passed a bill to encourage the role of fathers as parents in low income families and Accomplishments 11 to help fathers better provide for their children. Some Equal Parents' Week ...12 House Passes Bill to Help with observers have referred to this bill as a parenting bill, Emotional and Financial because it will have the ultimate purpose of assisting Learn About the Access Support; Senate Now Considers Counselor Accreditation Measure Continued on page 3 ProgramTM 12 Inside CRC 13 Oldaharna Moves Toward Books Videos, Equal Access of Child to Both Parents Audios, Buttons .... 14-18

C Encourages Oklahomahas implement this provision as in- atinum, Gold and Silver passed a Parentage Act tended, said Greg Palumbo, e Members 19 that allows parents to Ph.D., executive director of have an equal time share Oklahomans for Families Alli- Family Facts 20 with the child from the ance. :11apterNews 21 time of the first court The law states "It is the hearing, if either parent policy of this state to assure that ourt Cases 22 asks for it. minor children have frequent ok Reviews 23 This may be the first Equal Time Share Provided at the First Court Hearing and continuing contact with time in any state that an for Separating Parents in Oklahama parents who have shown the ngressional Update 24 equal time share is estab- ability to act in the best inter- National Affiliate lished from the time of the first hearing. ests of their children and to encourage parents to share Organizations and Custody reform advocates in Oklahoma in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their chil- will be watching closely to see if judges apters 26 Continued on page 5 59 "Speak Out for Children" is published by the Children'sRights Council, Inc. Editor: David L. CRC is a member of Levy. Contributors to this issue: Julie Maggiacomo, Gladys McIntosh, Lenora Williams, Ken Skilling, Kathleen Ballard, David Dinn, Don Bieniewicz, Paul Robinson, Ed Mudrak, and college student interns Chichi Nuoko, Montgomery College, Debra Lam, George Washington University, and former intern Anna Stinchcomb. Lay- out by Sheila Holzberger.

Children's The CRC Charities of America The Children's Rights Councilconciliation and mediation for the Material in this newsletter authored (CRC) is a nation-wide, non-profit IRSadversarial process, and providing forby CRC may be reprinted without per- 501(c) (3) children's rights organizationemotional and financial child support. mission, provided the source ("Reprinted based in Washington, D.C. We work to strengthen fragile familiesfrom the Children's Rights Council news- CRC works to strengthen familiesof children whose parents are never-letter 'Speak Out for Children,' Winter through education and advocacy. Wemarried. We also favor school-based 1999/2000") is given. For non-CRC ma- favor family formation and family pres-programs for children at risk. terial, obtain permission from the copy- ervation, but if families break up, or are Formed in 1985 by concerned par-right owner. For further information never formed, we work to assure a child ents who have more than 40 years col-about CRC membership, publications, the frequent and continuing contact with lective experience in custody reform andcassettes, catalog, and services, write: two parents and extended family theearly childhood education, CRC hasCRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, child would normally have during a mar-chapters in 32 states and two nationalWashington, D.C. 20002; phone (202) riage. Our motto is "The Best Parent isaffiliate organizations: Mothers Without547-6227; fax (202) 546-4CRC (4272). Both Parents." Custody (MW /OC) and the Stepfamily CRC's home page is www.gocrc.com For the child's benefit, CRC favorsAssociation of America (SAA). CRC's email address: [email protected] parenting education before marriage, Prominent professionals in theSpeak Out for Children is published four during marriage, and for parents who arefields of religion, law, social work, psy-times a year and is sent free to members. unwed or separated. We work to demili-chology, child care, education, business,Library rate: $20.00 a year. Send letters, tarize divorce between parents who areand government comprise our Advisorycomments and articles for publication to involved in marital disputes, substitutingPanel. Editor, CRC.

OFFICERS AND BOARD PARENTING EDUCATION Jim Cook, President Hon. Bob Graham MEMBERS SPOKESPERSON Joint Custody Association U.S. Senator (D-FL) David L. Levy, Esq. President Wes Unseld, VP Washington Los Angeles, California John L. Bauserman, Jr., Chairman Wizards Jennifer Isham, President Samuel A. Brunelli, CEO Member, NBA Hall of Fame "Dear Abby" Mothers Without Custody (MW/ Ingrid Bough-Bell (Abigail Van Buren) OC) John L. Bauserman, Sr. NATIONAL SPOKESPERSONS Los Angeles, California Crystal Lake, Illinois Judge Richard A. Waldron (ret'd) Darryl Grant, Washington Redskins LeeYarborough Superbowl XVII and XXII Karen DeCrow Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. Champion Former President of N.O.W. Executive Director HONORARY PRESIDENT Dwight Twilley, Pop Singer/Author Jamesville, New York Northern California Mediation Catherine Meyer, author Center Washington, D.C. EVALUATORS OF RESEARCH Elliott H. Diamond John Guidubaldi, D.Ed. Co-Founder, CRC Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. GENERAL COUNSEL D. Richard Kuhn Reston, Virginia Author, Psychiatrist Michael L. Oddenino Nancy Heleno Obetz Scottsdale, Arizona Arcadia, California Phyllis Diller, Comedienne FAMILY ADVISORY BOARD Los Angeles, California Vicki Lansky, Author/Columnist DIR. OF CHILD ACCESS Chairman, Deephaven, Minnesota SERVICES Clifton Alan Clark, Sr. Margorie Engel, president Alfred Ellis former CRC Director of Develop- Stepfamily Association of America James Levine, The Fatherhood ment Project DIR. OF INFORMATION Warren Farrell, Ph.D., Author The Family and Work Institute SERVICES ADVISORS former Member of the Board of New York, New York Ed Mudrak Rabbi Mendel Abrams, M.Min Directors, New York City N.O.W. Former President, Board of Rabbis Leucadia, California Hon. Debbie Stabenow DIRECTOR OF PARENTING of Greater Washington, DC U.S. Congresswoman (D-MI) EDUCATION PROGRAMS Larry Gaughan, Professional Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W. David Birney, Actor Director Hon. Fred Thompson Salt Lake City, Utah Santa Monica, California Family Mediation of Greater U.S. Senator (R-TN) Washington, D.C. Hon. Sherwood Boehlert U.S. Congressman (R-NY) Jonathan M. Goodson, President Mark Goodson Productions Los Angeles, California Page 2 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999/2000 60 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Fathers Count Act In order to establish a national clear-open up communication with the other Continued from page 1 inghouse of information about father-parents." hood programs, the Secretary will make children to have more involvement by a $5 million grant to a national nonprofit Comments on House both parents in their lives. Some servicesfatherhood organization with at least four Floor by Ben Cardin, and programs are expected to reach outyears of experience. For multicity father- Ranking Democrat on to divorced parents, also. hood projects, two grants will be granted Human Resources "The projects will help fathers playeach year to national nonprofit father- Subcommittee an important role in their family through hood promotion organizations. both the payment of child support and Cardin said: "Under the Act, 150 million dollars in competitive grants will through good parenting of the child, and Comments on House be made available for communities to open communication with the other par- Floor by Chairman Nancy encourage fathers to become a consis- ent," said Rep. Nancy Johnson (R-CT), Johnson tent and productive presence in the lives chairman of the Human Resources Sub- Johnson said: "This legislation willof their children, whether through mar- committee, which led the way to passage fund projects directed at helping poorriage or through increased visitation and of the bill. fathers meet their responsibilities by pro-the payment of child support." Organizations Will moting marriage, improving their "These new grant funds can be used Receive Funding parenting skills, and developing their for a wide array of specific services, in- earning power." cluding counselingvocational education, The $150 million would be for grants "Welfare reform has stimulated thejob search, and retention services, and to public and private organizations which development of far better services for the even subsidized employment." promote marriage through counseling,welfare dependent mothers; services that "The underlying premise of the Fa- mentoring and enhancing relationshipcould help her identify her skills, pro- thers CountAct is children are better off skills. The bill will encourage local ef-vide her with the knowledge that couldemotionally and financially when both forts by requiring that 75% of the fund-help her succeed in the work place, findof their parents are productive parts of ing goes to non-governmental commu-a job and progress." their life." nity based organizations. Preference for "Our goal is to help fathers find fundingwould go to organizations whichsteadier employment and develop their promote successful parenting, throughcareers...Our second goal is to help them Contact Your disseminating information about good(fathers) develop a better relationship U.S. Senators parenting practices including family plan-with their child and with the child's Ask them to support the "Respon- ning, encourage child support paymentsmother. Why? Because kids need dads. sible Fatherhood Act" (S. 1364) in- and regular access between fathers andDads count, just like moms count." troduced by Sen. Pete Domenici (R- their children. "We must, in sum, help those NM) and Evan Bayh (D-IN). It would assist in aiding fathers andmostly young adults create a more their families to avoid or leave the wel-stable environment economically and fare system, by providing activities such emotionally for their children so their CRC Needs as job training, subsidized employmentchildren will enjoy the opportunity kids and education to advance job opportu-should have in America." "...A recent * Free office space. Get a tax nities and careers. study by renowned researcher Sara write-off as you help kids and The funding decisions will be madeMcLanahan of Princeton University CRC. 1,200 square feet or by two bipartisan panelseach consist-shows that at the time of non marital more anywhere in the Wash- ing of ten members with six appointedbirths, over half of the parents are ington, D.C. area (Maryland, by Congressional committees and twocohabitating and about 80 percent say D.C. or Virginia) . each by the Secretary of Health andthey are in an exclusive relationship that * A new photocopy machine. Human Services and Secretary of Labor. they hope will lead to marriage or at The first panel will select and make rec-least become permanent. * Volunteers to help with filing, ommendations for funding of projects It seems reasonable to us that if we phone calls, and writing letters. totalling no more than $70 million in fis-develop ways to support these young * Our chapters need comput- cal year 2001, while the second panelcouples...they may be able to maintain ers. will select and make recommendationstheir adult relationship and developing for projects that will begin in fiscal year their parenting relationship. * Lawyers to write CRC Amicus 2002. Even if the parents remain separate, Briefs on appeal. For each of the fiscal years 2002the projects help fathers play an impor- Our chapters around the country through 2005, $3,750,000 is appropri-tant role in their family through both could use office space, photocopi- ated for the National Clearinghouse and the payment of child support and ers, and volunteers, too! the Multicity Fatherhood Projects. through good parenting of the child and Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 3

6 " . O 0 0 0O 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7 eRteti 0 0 0 4 Davie tlam, 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 It was heart- 0 0 Levy hundreds of government programs over Perhaps some of those signs 0 0 ening to see thethe past generationin housing, welfare,came down as more women joined 0 O 0 0House of Representatives pass acustody courts, and a myriad of otherthe ranks of non-custodial parents. 0 O $150 billion fatherhood bill in No-government programs that have cost the 0 There are now 2 million non-cus- 0 O vembera bill that doesn't identify fa- U.S. billions, and produced many wasted todial mothers, and millions of sec- 0 others only as child support obligors, lives. ond wives, and grandmothers. 0 O but which also sees them as parents 0 0 In other words, the government hasSome of those women have been 0 0who make a real contribution to theirbeen creating a generation of single-par- on the phone, writing letters, and e- 0 ochildren's lives. 0 ent familiesand then wondering whymailing their Congressmembers, 0 o Nancy Johnson, Republican ofour prisons were expanding, our schools 0 with the frequency of a dunning bill 0 O Connecticut, turned out to be as ex-failing, our crime and drug rates high. collector. 0 °o cellent at shepherding this billto pas- Ourgovemmenthas been pushingand Well, the convincing is being 0 o sage as Clay Shaw of Florida who pre- 0 forcing away parents from their children. done. And despite the opposition 0 ceded her. He introduced the origi- One by one, those "two-parent fami-of NOW, the "Fathers Count" bill 0 nal version of the Fathers Count bill 0 lies need not apply" signs are cominghas passed the House, and now goes 0 0o a year ago. down. They are coming down becauseto the Senate. 0 O The bill passed the House by a 3 0 policymakers have gotten the word that I often get mail, as do many of 0 o to 1 majority, after Shaw tookoverchildren's lives are made more produc-you, from groups concerned about 0 O the chairmanship of a different corn- 0 tive when two parents are around. the environment, peace, and other 0 o mittee. Children generally do better aca-world safety issues. I try to contrib- 0 o In strong words on the House 0 demically, and avoid lives of crime andute to some of those groups, be- 0 o floor, Johnson made it clear that she drugs when both dad and mom are avail-cause I know, as do you, that if we 0 o views fathers as parents, competentable to help them. do not have a relatively safe and se- 0 o and caring. 0 0 Perhaps some of those signs camecure planet, none of the family is- 0 O The truth is that kids need bothdown when researchers, like Sarasues we all work on matter. You 0 parents, moms and dads. Programs 0 o0 McLanahan of Princeton University, cannot raise a family if the Polar Ice 0 have been running for 30 years to onlywho had bought into the single-parentCap melts, if the Gulf Stream dis- 0 O help moms, including policies telling 0 0 fad of the '70s and '80s, found that theappears, of if virulent bacteria de- 0 a single-parent that she could not liveresearch did not support her earlier be- 0 stroys all life. 0 O with a low-income wage earning fa-liefs. She was honest enough to admit But my heart and soul are in 0 t her, and still receive welfare.Policies that she was wrong in assuming one 0 par-children's and family issues; and it 0 O which commanded the mother toent could do the job of two. makes me feel grateful that after 0 kick the low-waging earning father out She was preceded by many research- 0 years in the trenches, we are mak- 0 o of the house in order for her to ob-ers and writers like Sanford Braver and ing progress. 0 .° tarn public housing. Policies that saidJohn Guidubaldi, who knew the facts, Much remains to be done, but 0 O only a mother could obtain custody 0 but who had to have sufficient data tothat the tide has been shifting the 0 O of her children. reach conclusions that would convince past several years with the help of 0 o 0 "Two-parent families need not ap-the policymakers like Nancy Johnsonwomen and men of goodwillis 0 oply" has been the sign on the door ofand Clay Shaw. grounds for encouragement. 0 0 O 0 0 0 0 O 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

CRC Info We thank Bladen "Negativity is the Destroyer of Lithograpics Inc. in Fax: 202-546-4272 the Good Life" Gaithersburg, MD for Website:www.gocrc.com providing printing Dr. A. Jayne Major, author E-mail: [email protected] services to CRC.

Page 4 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999 /2000 6 2 Oklahama Access tance of temporary orders," saidused to deny a father from custody or Continued from page 1 Palumbo. "Temporary orders have aaccess to his child even though he was way of becoming permanent orders," he unaware he had a child until birth or af- dren after the parents have separated orpointed out. ter birth, because the mother failed to dissolved their marriage." Palumbo said that "because the law inform him. Does your state now have a "To effectuate this policy, if re- applies to separated or divorced parents, sex registry for men? I know here in quested by a parent, the court shall pro-unwed parents should also be eligible toOklahoma there has been no publicity vide substantially equal access to thereceive an equal time share with theto inform men that failure to register af- minor children to both parents at a tem-child." ter sex is supposed to terminate your porary order hearing, unless the court parental rights if the mother chooses finds that such shared parenting would Fathers Must Register or adoption. The father has to determine be detrimental to such child." Lose Rights to Adoption if the mother is pregnant with your child, "The burden of proof that such Also, Palumbo reports that in response you have to have a lawyer on retainer shared parenting would be detrimental to the federal speedyAdoption Act, Okla-for the purpose of notifying your objec- to such child shall be upon the parent homa law requires men to register everytion to adoption, and if you change ad- requesting sole custody." time they have sex with a woman so as to dresses, you must notify the state of any "This is a strong presumption forpreserve their potential status as a parentaddress change. joint custody, but only for temporaryand claim to their children. Palumbo says Oklahoma is acting on custody orders. However, it is a revolu- He says: Failure to register with thethe basis of the National Commission for tionary change, because of the impor-Oklahoma sex registry for men could beUniform Parentage Act.

Divorce Rate Expected to Drop as Joint Custody Increases

Kansas and Connecticut have highest amount of physical joint custody and highest decline in the divorce rate.

Based on current trends, the di-Health Statistics shows that the states "More children growing up with 2 vorce rate in the U.S. will be reducedwith the greatest amount of physical jointparents means a greater likelihood that by 5 percent to 10 percent within thecustody in 1989 and 1990 had the great-children will do better academically, next 20 years, CRC predicted at aest decline in the divorce rate in the sub-and be less likely to get involved with press conference at the CRC confer-sequent years 1991 through 1995. Datacrime, delinquency, and drugs," said ence November 24. are only available for 19 states. John Guidubaldi, Ed.D., a former The divorce rate, which has "The states with the over-all highestpresident of the National Association dipped slightly in the past few yearsamount of physical joint custody andof School Psychologists, who partici- from its high of 50 percent of all mar-highest decline in the divorce rate arepated in the press conference. riages, will drop further because of theKansas and Connecticut, but Idaho, Il- "If a parent knows that he or she rapid rise of joint custody (sharedlinois, Montana, Alaska, Rhode Island,will have to interact with the child's parenting), and the greater involve-and Wyoming, also scored well in at least other parent while the child is grow- ment of fathers in children's lives. one of the two categories," said Ricking up, there is less incentive to di- CRC said data from the CensusKuhn, a CRC evaluator of research, whovorce," said David L. Levy, CRC Bureau and the National Center forparticipated in the press conference. President.

Winter 1939/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 5 Around the Country

Idaho and Iowa Apply License Revocationto Empowerment Network Access Denial, Too Re-Launched The Empowerment Network, a Idaho and Iowa have become the Iowa policy hub for state legislators, grassroots first states to enact balanced law on li- leaders and policymakers promoting cense revocation, by requiring that re- Iowa law provides for similar licenserenewal of American families and com- vocation or suspension of drivers' orsuspension under a court's contemptmunities, has been re-launched. professional licenses of parents delin-power. The law states that as an alterna- David Caprara, a former deputy to quent in child support also apply to par-tive to jail, "If a person against whom aJack Kemp when he was secretary of ents who violate visitation orders. temporary order or final decree has been Housing and Urban Development, and entered willfully disobeys the order ora deputy to former Virginia Governor Idaho decree... (the violator) ...may be enjoined George Allen, is president of TEN. for engaging in the exercise of any activ- You can learn of TEN activities by Teresa Kasier, head of the Idahoity governed by a license." 'License'visiting its website, at child support office at the time the legis-means any license or renewal of a li-www.empowermenmetwork.com lation was being considered, urgedcense, certification, or registration issued TEN's Honorary Co-Chairs are re- through a Welfare Reform Advisoryby an agency to a person to conduct atired Sen. Dan Coats (R-IN), Oklahoma Committee appointed by the Governortrade or business, including but not lim-Governor Frank Keating, and Robert that the legislation should apply in a bal-ited to a license to practice a professionWoodson, Sr., National Center for anced law. Legislators agreed and thusor occupation or to operate a commer-Neighborhood Enterprise. Board Offic- made the Idaho license suspension lawcial motor vehicle." ers besides Caprara include Sam Brunelli, the first in the nation to apply to emo- Dick Woods, longtime custody re-President ofTeam Builders International tional as well as financial support. form activist in Iowa, assisted state legis-and Robin Read, Vice President, National See Idaho Code, Chapter 14, Titlelators in obtaining approval for thisFoundation for Women Legislators. 7, Family Law License Suspension, ef-change in the law. EmpowermentLeadership fective January 1, 1997. See Iowa Code on Dissolution ofRoundtable members include Jack Kaiser is now head of the MarylandMarriage and Domestic Relations, Sec-Kemp, Charles Ballard, Institute for child support office in Baltimore. tions 598.23 and 598.23A. Responsible Fatherhood and Family Re- vitalization, Don Eberly, Civil Society Project, and CRC's David Levy. Ask your state legislators to passa law similar to law in Idaho and Iowa Cry for Children that says that licenses may be suspended for Almost 200 people from around the violations of custody and access orders. country heard a dozen speakers at a 'Cry for Children' rally at the Lincoln Memo- rial Reflecting Pool on November 7. The rally was designed to "expose the truth of divorce and divorce litiga- Access Grants tion tactics as they apply to children," Terry Cady, CRC coordinator for Illinois, who administersa $200,000 said Cry for Children national chairman access grant in DuPage County, Illinois, testified on behalf of CRC and other Brad Ingram, of Richmond, VA. groups before a House Subcommittee on September 23 regarding the ac- Speakers include Dennis Austin, cess (visitation) grants. pastor of Mission Service for Christ's Cady praised the over-all concept of the grants, but pointedout some Earthen Vessels, Steve Baskerville of problems: Howard University, Murray Steinberg of 1) Some of the grants were being directed togroups, such as domestic Children's Rights Coalition of Virginia, violence shelters, which already receive $1.6 billion in federal funds. Dean Tong, author of "Ashes to Ashes," 2) The $10 million annual amount provided by the federalgovernment Jeff Golden of Fathers' and Children's for access (visitation) grants to the states should be increasedto $50 Equality, Philadelphia. million each year. C-Span refused to video the event, 3) Non-profit groups with experience in counseling non-custodialparents said Ingram, because they found no is- should receive a majority of the funding. sue of "prominent national significance" being discussed at the Rally. Page 6 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999/2000 64 1999 CRC Conference a Success

Nearly 200 people attended CRC's Ron Clark, Virginia Fatherhood 12th national conference September 23- Initiative, "Fatherhood Works." 26, 1999, at the Holiday Inn Hotel & Friday, Sept. 24 Suites, Alexandria, Virginia. Ronald Haskins, Staff Director, Participants included CRC chapter House Subcommittee on Human coordinators and members, parents, Resources, "Valuing the Family on grandparents, and step-parents, authors Capitol Hill" and syndicated newspaper columnists, Uriel Johnson, National Center and researchers in the field of family is- for Strategic Non-Profit Planning sues from several major universities. and Community Leadership Attendees also included mediators, (NPCL), "Jobs, Not Jail for parent educators, family law reform ad- Unwed Parents" vocates and government officials from Cathy Young, writer, and the federal level and from eight states asJournalists Young (left) and Parker (right) KathleenParker, syndicated well as two Congressional subcommit- Spoke About the Importance of columnist, "Media Luncheon" tee chairmen. a Child's Right to Two Parents Sanford Braver, Ph.D., John "The purpose of the national con- Guidubaldi, Ed.D., Joyce Arditti, ference has always been to provide for "How the Child Support Office is Ph.D., Mark A. Rogers, Psy.D., the coming together of our membership Becoming Family Friendly." and Rick Kuhn, "Hot New and of prospective members for the pur- Barbara Steinberg, "Parental Research on Families." pose of sharing ideas and information AbductionThe Extreme of Serge Prengel, author, "A which will ultimately advance the tenets Parental Alienation." Divorced Father's Journey" of our mission statement," said CRC Catherine Meyer, "International Edward Holstein, Kathleen Board Chairman John L. Bauserman,Jr. Parental Kidnapping." Parker, and Stephen Baskerville, "It is through our national conference that Charles Janus, "Exploring "Goals for the Fatherhood we serve and inform our members in Radical Political Options." Movement" addition to bringing researchers and writ- Neil Tift, National Fatherhood Ann Warshauer, "Parenting ers together and emphasizing CRC's edu- Initiative, "Enhancing Co- Education During and After cational goals." Parenting Partnerships in the Divorce" "All three aims were admirably Family." Phil Stahl, Ph.D., "The Impact met," said CRC President David L. David Arnaudo, federal child of Child Development in High Levy. "Murray and Barbara Steinberg support office, "How to Obtain Conflict and Alienation" did a terrific job as coordinators of this Access (Visitation) Grants". Panel Jean McBride, M.S., "Step- conference." participants included D.C. Mothers" "The conference featured presenta- Superior Court Chief Judge Dean Tong, Robert Schreiber, tions structured around a variety of rel- Eugene N. Hamilton, CRC Child M.D., Murray Steinberg, and evant topics and implemented in an ac- Access Director Al Ellis; New Barbara Steinberg, Ph.D., "Risky cepting, interactive environment," said York State Child Support Director Business: Dealing with Allegations Barbara Steinberg. "Small round table Robert Doar and Kim Boedecker- and Borderline Personalities" discussions were also available to partici- Frey, CRC of New York; Joseph Saturday, Sept. 25 pants which gave everyone an opportu- Mason, Illinois Department of Sanford Braver, Ph.D., "Impact nity for personal exchanges of ideas and Public Aid; Stacy L. Rogers, of Divorce on Parents" support" Maryland Director of the Office Philip Stahl, Ph.D., "Using Presenters were: of Community Initiatives, Custody Evaluations in the Wednesday, Sept. 22, Pre- Nebraska Assistant Child Support Conflict Resolution Process" Conference Director Roxie Webb and Lyn Jeffery Leving, J.D. and Mark Access Counselor Certification and Bill Huerter, CRC of Rogers, Psy.D., "Dads, Kids, and Program, presented by Dick Nebraska. Emotional Development" Woods. Peter Breggin, M.D. "The Herman Frankel,M.D., Thursday, Sept. 23 Overuse of Ritalin and Other "HelpingYou and Your Children Round table discussions, led by Drugs on Children." Deal with Loss During and After T.B.A. Daily. CathyYoung, "Cease-Fire!: Why Divorce" Hon. David Gray Ross, Women and Men Must Join Greg Schaaf, "Problems and Forces to Achieve True Equality. commissioner of child support, Continued on page 8 Winter 1999/2000 SpeakOut For Children Page 7 65 1999 Conference for the Johnson children, and this wasa to: Rep. Albert Wynn (D-MD), an in- Continued from page 7 good thing, because then the Johnsonformal CRC Advisor, and Rep. Robert children got to know their dad better. Andrews (D-NJ), for his sponsorship of Opportunities with Mediation" Rep. Clay Shaw (R-FL), a formera bill passed by Congress in 1998 that Kay Pas ley, Ed.D., "Step-chairman of the Human Resources Sub-requires states to enforce access (visita- Families Today: 1,477 Researchcommittee, who introduced the first"Fa-tion) orders of other states. Studies Later" thers Count" bill two years ago, who now CRC wishes to thank volunteers who Margorie Engel,Ph.D.,heads the Social Security Subcommittee. helped at the conference: Murray and "Financial Issues andShaw spoke of the need to preserve so-Barbara Steinberg, Ingrid Bough-Bell, Complexities in Step-Families" cial security for the next generation, and Lawrence Peckmazian, Paul Robinson, Douglas Darnall, Ph.D.,also spoke about the importance of twoD'Arcy McGreer, Cliff Clark, John "Explaining Parental Alienationparents for children whenever possible.Siegmund, John Michael (photogra- for the Courts" Rep. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), an pher), Harvey Walden, Diana and Ellen Sunday, Sept. 26 advisor to CRC, who, when she wasaLevy. Patricia Clark and Mattie Nance Richard Gardner, M.D.,member of the Michigan legislature,ran the bookstore, and Bill and Jackie "Parental Alienation Syndromespearheaded the broadening of the Green did audiotaping. Revisited and Revised" Michigan "Friend of the Court" system CNN and other Ronald Henry, J.D., "Theto include informal resolution of access national news orga- Outlook for Kids and Families" (visitation) complaints. nizations reported Ellen Levy, Closing Circle of Rep. Bob Barrett (R-NE) also at- on the conference. Hope tended the conference, with his wife Some of those me- Elsie. dia contacts were ar- Speakers from Congress ranged by Illinois at Rep. Nancy Johnson (R-CT), chair- Children First Awards rn ey Jeffery man of the Human Resources Subcom- Leving, who was CRC presented "Children First" cer- Leving mittee of House Ways and Means, tificates to the four members of Congress publicizing his book, where welfare reform, financial childmentioned aboveJohnson, Shaw,"Fathers' Rights" in several media out- support, access (visitation) and Father-Stabenow and Barrett, for their contri-lets at the time of the conference. hood legislation emanates. Mrs. Johnsonbutions to kids and CRC. We also pre- President Clinton sent greetings to said that after her election to Congress,sented "Children First" awards in pre-the conference. (See text next issue of her husband became the major caregiversentations at their Congressional offices"Speak Out for Children.")

THIS RIVETING EXPOSÉ REVEALS HOWJUDGES, ATTORNEYS, PSYCHIATRISTS AND PSYCHOLOGISTS VIOLATELAW & ETHICS IN THEIR MISGUIDED ZEAL TO IDENTIFYA "PRIMARY PARENT"

One Divorced A FAMILY DIVIDED Father's Story A Divorced Father's Struggle with the Every Father's and Child Custody Industry Child's Nightmare 614, RI evanoweceaog

547pp, ' Prometheus BooksCloth 827.95

"Robert Mendelson's new book, A Family Divided, compellinglychronicles Dr. Michael Nieland's journey through the land mines we call family court, and along theway provides important advice to fathers facing the prospect of divorce as well as thoughtful recommendations to policy makersfor change. Don't go to divorce court without having read this book!' -- Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative

A Family Divided is on target about the social ill that facessociety today.I liken it to social cancer." Sidney Siller, Chairman/Founder of the National Organization for Men How to Purchase A FAMILY DIVIDED Bookstores " !memoir www.arnazon.com Publisher: 1.800.421.0351 (Prometheus Books) CRC Catalog of Resources

Page 8 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999/2000 6 BEST COPY AVAILABLE nference Snapshots

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Photos from clockwise: House Subcommittee Chairmen Johnson and Shaw; The non-custodial parents' quilt: The invisible parents want their love for their children to be seen (www.betterdivorce.com/quilt); Volunteer of the Year C.J. Honan and Margaret Wowert, CRC Ohio Coordinator; Roundtable discussion; Dinnertime; Learning session; Group shot; and Book fair (center). Photos by John Michael ([email protected]) Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 9 67 States Encouraged to Forgive Arrearagesfor Correction Low Income Families In our Summer/Fall "Speak Out for Children" we recommended that Low Income Parents Can Now, if a state can collect current your state adopt the new West Vir- Pay $1 in Arrearages and support owed plus $1, this case satis- ginia joint custody statute. We erred. that is 0.k. with the States fies federal requirements for the states Do not adopt this statute. and the Feds to receive their incentive payments The new joint custody law in West from the feds in the arrearage collec- Virginia is a substantial improvement The federaltion category. for that state, primarily because it child support office Teresa Kaiser, modifies the "primary caretaker" is encouraging when she was Mis- policy that was followed in that state states to forgive souri child support for manyyears. Under the outmoded childsupport director, and other primary caretaker theory, the parent arrearages when child support direc- who primarily cared for the child be- parents reconcile or tors, recommended fore the divorce is to receive sole cus- re-marry. In a "Pub- this method of com- tody after the divorce. Ross lic Policy Support- puting the There are also other improve- ing Two-Parent arrearages collec- ments over prior law in the new West Kaiser Families/Compromise of Arrearages," tion incentive mea- Virginia statute, but there is a defect, Federal Child Support Commissionersure because it allows state flexibility in in that the statute gives credit to "care- David Gray Ross sent a message to state setting arrearage payments, yet still states taking functions" but not to "parenting IV-D (child support) directors urgingcan be considered efficient. functions" in deciding whether there them to follow the lead ofVermont and The Federal Child Support Office, shall be joint custody. "Caretaking" Washington State in suspend child sup-under Judge David Gray Ross, sent to functions that receive credits include port arrearages for low-income families.Congress the performance measures such things as grooming and dressing "Currently in most states, even if the which included the measure ofarrears the child and toilet training, while parents marry or remarry, families with cases with collections and this was passed "parenting" functions such as provid- TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needyby Congress. ing economic support, furniturere- Families) arrearages are required to "A compassionate approach to pair, and doing yard work, are spe- make payments to the state as a result ofarrearages is also reflected in Judge cifically listed as not to be counted. the TANF requirement of assigning Ross's recent memo," said Kaiser, who This crediting of "caretaking" child support payments," said Ross.is now child support director for Mary- functions butdisregarding "parenting" "This can worsen the economic situationland. functions is part of the "model" bill for low-income families, thereby reduc- recommended by the American Law ing their ability to maintain a self-suffi- Institute that West Virginia adopted. cient two-parent household." Gore Wants Credit Card Crackdown Again, West Virginia's law is a gi- Ross said a state could accept less ant step forward for that state, but until than the full payment of arrearagesas- On a harsher note, Vice President the legislature adds a one word Gore, in a speech October 20,1999, said signed to the state on the same grounds changeto count parenting and care- that exist for compromise and settlement he would pressure credit cardcompa- taking functions, the statute's fullrec- of any other judgment in the state. nies to reject applicants who are delin- ognition of a child's right to twopar- See memo dated March 22, 1999quent on child support payments. Aides ents is in doubt. from Federal Child Support Office, PIQsaid he would offer the nation's three 99-03, or on website: www.acf.dhhs.gov/ major credit card bureaus reports from programs.cse/pol/piq-9003.htm the federal database on parents (prima- rily fathers) who have fallen behind in Change of Address Current Plus $1 child support. Arrearages Acknowledging that the government To keep newsletters and otherma- could not force the companies,a Gore terials coming, please notify CRC As stated in "Speak Out for Chil-advisor said, "We think they'd be three weeks in advance of any ad- dren," (Summer /Fall 1998),new federalshamed into it." (See Washington Post dress change. Send old and new ad- law computes federal incentive payments 10/20/99, pageA16). dresses to CRC, 300 "I" Street N.E., to the states by focusing on cases with Suite 401, Washington, DC 20002. collections, not the previous require- ment that the state collect the highest CRC and our chapters need Also, CRC now has its own domain. amount possible, even if it meant impov- grant and proposal writers. Our new website address is: erishment for the payor. www.gocrc.com Page 10 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999/2000 6 8 Some Major CRC Accomplishments

CRC was founded in 1985. As CRC enters its 15th year (2000), it is time to reflect on CRC's Accomplishmentsnone of which would be possible without our members and supporters, and a little help from the Almighty.

1985. Under our original name, National Council forrectory, listing more than 1,000 groups across the country Children's Rights, formed a nationally prominentAdvisorythat can help parents. Panel, including "Dear Abby," U.S. Senators and Repre- 1993. Changed our name to "Children's Rights Coun- sentatives, representatives of Mothers Without Custody, cil" to put children first. Stepfamily and Grandparents groups, researchers and writ- 1993. Published CRC book "The Best Parent is Both ers on family issues. Parents" (Hampton Roads Publishing Co). 1985. Sought Congressional authorization for the es- 1994. Results of 1988 access demonstration grants were tablishment of access (visitation) staff throughout the coun-so positive that Congress, in the 1994 Welfare Reform Act, try to informally help in obtaining children's access to theirprovided $10 million a year in access grants for all 50 states non-custodial parents. and territories to share in. 1986. First of 12 national CRC conferences, which 1994. The federal government published the CRC brought together researchers and writers, CRC members,Model Child Support Guideline authored by CRC mem- and policymakers from the U.S. and abroad. ber Don Bieniewicz in its publication called: "Child Sup- 1986. CRC testified for the first of 20 times before Con-port Guidelines: The Next Generation." gressional committees. Also submitted the first of 40 writ- 1995. Published first annual "Top 10 States to Raise a ten statements for the record in other Congressional hear-Child" report, which has received increasing national me- ings in favor of access (visitation) policies and programs, diation attention over the years. joint custody (shared parenting), welfare reform thatwould 1995. Helped with Congressional establishment of Na- encourage 2-parent families, mediation, and implementa-tional Commission on Child and Family Welfare, which tion of the Hague Convention Against International Pa-after deliberations, recommended more mediati6n, uni- rental Kidnapping. fied family courts, parenting plans. 1987. CRC held a rally in front of the Capital, the first 1996. Helped obtain passage of presumption for joint of various rallies, Candlelight Vigils, award breakfasts, andlegal and physical custody in the Nation's Capital. Chap- awards for "Best in Media," "Healer Awards" andters made strides in changing laws and attitudes in their "Parenting Awards" given over the years. respective states. 1988; Filed the first of 20 amicus curaie (friend of the 1997. CRC and its chapters started receiving access court briefs) in support of a child's right to two parents.grants, which total $355,000 in four states (Illinois, Ne- The first brief, filed before the U.S. Supreme Court, askedbraska, NewYork, Maryland) and Washington, D.C., pro- the court to upholdwhich it did, by a narrow 5-4 major-viding mediation, parenting education, parenting plans, ity, the right of an unwed biological father of a child to aneutral drop-off and pick-up of children, supervised ac- hearing to determine if he should have visitation rights. cess, hotlines. Some parents are seeing their children for 1988 After 3 years of advocacy by CRC on Capitolthe first time in these programs. Hill, Congress provided in the Family Support Act of 1998. Disseminated report based on data from the Cen- 1988 for access (visitation) demonstration grants in 6sus Bureau and National Center for Health Statistics that statesIndiana, Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Massachusetts, the states with the highest amount of physical joint custody Arizona. Mediation, counseling, and telephone moni-in 1989 and 1990 had subsequently the greatest decline in toring were tried. the divorce rate. The reason seems to be that when par- 1989. Published the first of more than 75 evaluationsents know they will have to interact with the other parent, of research reports over the years. The first report showed there is less incentive to divorce. that fathers were paying up to 35% more in child support 1999. Led successful effort second year in a row to than federal figures had previously reported. defeat an anti-joint custody (shared parenting) resolution 1990. Welcomed the first of 38 chapters in 32 states,in the House. Washington, D.C., and Japan. 1999. Assisted in advocating for passage of the "Fathers 1991. Published first annual edition of Parenting Di-Count" bill in the House.

Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 11 ti 9 Equal Parents' Week Introducing E-mail by Patti Diroff Contact for CRC CRC's National Equal Parents Week Coordinator Members Send and receive e-mail to and Equal Parents' Week will be held September 25 to October 1, 2000. This isa from other CRC members around the country. change from past years, when Equal Parents' Week was held in July, inconjunc- Ifyou are a CRC member, e-mail tion with National Parents' Day, to emphasize the mutual objectives of bothevents. "After much thought, we are returning Equal Parents' Week to its original date the following message to Harry in September, to avoid summer-related problems whichpose impediments on par- Prillaman, CRC Coordinator for ticipants, particularly vacation and hot weather," said Patti Diroff, CRC's national Georgia. Equal Parents' Week coordinator. "I am a national CRC member "Equal Parents' Week will advocate that national priorities be establishedto who would like to join the crc- reform custody and financial child support laws," said Diroff. "Custody lawsshould [email protected] distribution list." be structured to maximize the involvement that both parentsare willing and able to contribute to raising their children. This means a 2-parent focus in arranging flex- Call the CRC national office at ible work schedules and other demands that affect parents and allocating the maxi- 202-547-6227, or fax 202-546-4272 mum amount of time each parent is able and willing to spend with their children." to make sure your national member- ship is current. "The structure of financial child support needs to be reformedto promote the ability of both parents to meet all their children's needs withoutcompromising, or imposing financial impediments to non-financial forms of child support." Intellectual Property "I am also considering developing a children's theme forsome of the candle- Protection light vigils as an option, such as the candlelight vigil held bya daycare center in Charlie Ruggiero, who obtained Livermore, CA in 1999," said Diroff. trademark protection for the name Comments, ideas and suggestions are welcome; youmay reach Patti at 909/ and logo "Children's Rights Council" 591-3689 and patlidiroff@worldnetatinet and the name and logo for our news- letter "Speak Out for Children" is a specialist in trademark, patent, copy- right, and licensing law. He is a part- ner in the law firm of Ohlandt, Learn About the Greeley, Ruggiero and Perle, 1 Land- Access Counselor Accreditation PrograrnTM mark Square, Suite 903, Stamford,. A Division of The Children's Rights Council CT 06901, telephone (203) 327-6067. Beat the Tax Man: Contribute to CRC Receive Training by the Children's Rights Council, and Becomea Certi- fied Access Counselor. Keep working for children. Ifyou Trainer: Dick Woods of Des Moines, Iowa, who has given thiscourse on wish to consider leaving a bequest or behalf of the Children's Rights Council annually since 1993. Completionof property to CRC, please state the fol- the one day workshop qualifies you to take the test for certification.Upon lowing in your will: "I hereby leave passage of the test, and completion of a questionnaire on course content,you the following to the Children's Rights will receive a "Certified Access Counselor" certificate suitable for framingin Council: (state your bequest)." your Office. THIS UNIQUE TRAINING IS PROVIDED ONLY BYTHE Credit Card CHILDREN'S RIGHTS COUNCIL. Information Training sessions have been offered at Children's Rights Councilnational conferences. Thanks to everyone who uses the CRC Visa Credit Card. CRC re- We are offering this course between conferencesas a service to CRC members and supporters. ceives $5 for every new person who signs up to use the card. We also Location of course and date will depend on howmany people contact Dick Woods. receive 15 cents every time you use the card, regardless of the size of the For information and registration, contact Dick Woodsat 2125 Prairie purchase. So it is better to break View East, Ames, Iowa 50010, phone 515/233-2750. Allowtwo to three weeks for reply. down your purchases into several small amounts, so CRC can receive You may also contact CRC for further information. more of those 15 cent credits.

Page 12 Speak Out For Children Win teK.1999/ 2000

p a 70 Inside CRC

CRC is pleasedtion, and they can easily be coached by a A Way to Adjust the to announce thatparent to give a particular answer. Financial Child Support Catherine Meyer, The Hague Convention says that chil- Guideline author of "They Aredren are to be returned to the country of The thing that most surprised West My Children, Too" "habitual residence," which is designed toVirginia legislators when Don Bieniewicz is the new honorarystop forum shopping in different countries. testified before them in November was president of the CRC presented testimony for the learning that standard financial child sup- Children's Rightsrecord at both hearings, the gist ofwhich port guidelines used in their state pro- Meyer Council. She was of-was that access (visitation) should bevided no adjustment for standard visita- fered the post by thetreated the same way as custody by thetion with the child by the non-custodial CRC Board of Directors. Hague Convention, so that childrenparent Meyer gave a talk on Internationalwould be returned to the country of "ha- "They were shocked. They thought Parental Kidnapping at CRC's 12th Na-bitual residence" for custodial or accessthere was an adjustment," said tional Conference on September 23, and rights to be enforced. Some courts such Bieniewicz, when he was invited to speak also made remarks along with other bookas those in Great Britain recognize access before the legislators. authors at the conference's Book and rights more than courts in other countries. Most states follow guidelines recom- Author Luncheon on September 25. CRC mentioned that Sweden, Germany, mended by Robert Williams of Policy Lady Meyer (pronounced May-or) isand the Arab states are among the coun-Studies, Inc. in Colorado, and distrib- the wife of the British Ambassador to thetries that frequently refuse to honor cus-uted several years ago by the federal gov- United States, Sir Christopher Meyer. tody or access decrees of other countries. ernment. Williams has conceded that Lady Meyer has not seen her two In another development, the Justicethere is no provision for child support sons, Alexander and Constantin, in fiveDepartment says it is looking into theadjustment for time spent between the years. They are being held in Germanynumber of individuals making child sup-child and the non-custodial parents in by the father. port payments who abduct children be-the standard arrangementwhich includes "There are many situations where a cause visitation was refused. For furtherstandard visitation. child is deprived of access to a parent byinformation, contact Ronald Lacy, direc- Ask your state agency working on the other parent Whether it happens intor, Missing and Exploited Children'schild support guidelines to invite the U.S. or abroad, it is a horrendousProgram, 202/616-3637. Bieniewicz, CRC's expert on guidelines, problem which CRC works constantly to testify. to resolve," said CRC Board Chairman Now It's the Family Bieniewicz's testimony could help John Bauserman, Jr. "We are glad that Advisory Board convince your state to adopt portions of Lady Meyer is helping to highlight this CRC used to have an "Advisorythe only guideline we know of that is problem and educate policymakers andPanel" of prominent Americans. Webased on a child having two parents. the public about it." have a changed the name to "Family This CRC guideline, authored by "I very much look forward to work-Advisory Board," to give it more promi-Bieniewicz, was published by the federal ing with CRC and bringing more atten-nence, and Clifton Alan Clark, Sr. is thegovernment in a publication entitled tion to children's rights issues," said Ladychairman of that Board. Clark is a"Child Support Guidelines: The Next Meyer. former CRC director of development.Generation." Comedian David Brenner, who had CRC encourages active involvement by To obtain a copy of the federal pub- to wage a several year fight to have access advisors whenever possible to help chil-lication, phone (202) 401-9383, the Of- to his son Cole, was CRC's previousdren, families, and CRC. fice of Child Support Enforcement's Honorary President. "We thank David Reference Center, located at 370 very much for his long service in that Mediation, Moveaway L'Enfant Promenade SW, Washington, post," said CRC President David L. Levy. Help D.C. 20447. Lady Meyer testified on international Copies of the guideline itself as pub- parental kidnapping at two recent Con- Leslee Newman, J.D., who has beenlished by the government are available gressional hearings. She urged that coun-giving free consultations on move-awayfrom CRC for $5.00 for CRC members, tries be obliged to follow the Hague Con- issues to CRC members, is available forand $10.00 for non-members, including vention on International Parental Kidnap-mediation consultations (at a fee) . Leslee, shipping and handling. ping, and that a loophole in the conven-who is a trained mediator, can be reached Write to Bieniewicz at 10004 tion, under which a child may be askedat 714-282-1515. Her husband DonFairoaks Road, Vienna, VA 22181, con- which country he wants to live in, be tight- Smith, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, istact him via email at ened. She testified that in Germany, chil-available for child custody [email protected], or phone 703- dren as young as 3 are asked this ques-Don's number is 714-939-6678. 255-0837 (evenings). Winter 1971/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 13 Children's Rights Council 2000CATALOGOF RESOURCES for parents and professionals MANY. BOOKS DISCOUNTED ! Couldn't Make it to the CRC Conference? Buy a Book by an Author Who Spoke ! Learn More About the Conference- Books by authors who spoke at the Conferenceare triple starred (***)

BOOKS FOR KIDS BOOKS FOR PARENTS NEW! 50/50 Parenting, by Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. Almost 300 co- ***A Heart Full of Love, written by Bette S.Margolis, parents and 83 children report on life in Married, Divorced, illustrated by Christie L. Kline. A wonderful book for that and Step-family situations. special 7- to 9-year-old in your life who is undergoing pa- SB-201 $9.95 rental divorce. The Adult Children of Divorce Workbook, by Mary SB-101 $15.00 Hirschfeld, 1992. Visualization exercises help readers I Love You More Than..., by Elizabeth Hickey and James root our destructive feelings left over from their childhood. SB-202 Cohen. Illustrated by Lynda Smart Brown, 1998. *Discount Price $5.00 HB-102 $16.95 ***Divorce Book for Parents, by Vicki Lansky, 1987. Daddy Day, Daughter Day, by CNN's Larry King and Warmly supportive and reassuring, this comprehensive Chaia King, 1997. A true story of divorce told through both guide speaks to all divorced and divorcing parents. a child's and a father's perspective. HB-203 *Discount Price $9.00 SB-103 $12.95 ***The Divorce Decisions Workbook, by Margorie How to Survive Your Parent's Divorce: Kids Ad- Engel, 1992. Planning and action guide with 55 formulas vice to Kids, by Gayle Kimball, 1994. Easy-to-read one- to help you in four key decision areas:financial, legal, prac- of-a-kind guide for young people and their parents as they tical, and emotional. reshape their lives post-divorce. SB-204 *Discount Price $7.00 SB-104 *Discount Price $4.00

I Think Divorce Stinks, by Marcia Lebowitz, 1992. Helps r111,1111.11,1,. 110 tr ***Divorced Dads, Shattering the children recognize that it is appropriate to have negative Myths, by Sanford L. Braver, Ph.D., 1998. feelings about divorce and to express those feelings. DIVORCEDThe surprising truth about fathers, children and SB-105 $4.95 divorce. HB-205 $24.95 What am I Doing in a Stepfamily?, by Claire Berman, DADS 1994. A children's book explaining how two families can be SFIATIERINVITATYTHcl ***For the Sake of the Children, by Kris better than one. Kline and Stephen Pew, 1992. Discusses how SB-106 $12.00 to share your children with your ex-spouse despite your anger. Kline is CRC's Florida coordinator. PHOTOCOPIES ***It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, ONLY! by Vicki Lansky, 1998. Koko Bear can HB-206 *Discount Price $9.00 help children understand divorce and sends a good message. Divorce: Crisis, Challenge, or Relief?, by David A. SB-107 $5.99 Chiriboga and Linda S. Catron, 1991. Addresses the im- pact of divorce on children through different stages of their The Divorce Workbook, by Sally Ives, David Fassler lives. & Michelle Lasch, 1985 How to facilitate honest and open SB-207 $22.50 communication between adults and children at the trau- matic time of separation and divorce. O and A for kids. Why Parents Disagree: How Women and Men Par- SB-108 *Discount Price $6.00 ent Differently and How We Can Work Together, by Dr. Ron Taffel, 1994. An explanation of why parents be- My Book, My Self for Boys, by Linda Madaras and Area gin to lead different lives and how parents can raise kids as Madaras, 1995. The "What's Happening to My Body for partners, not enemies. Boys." SB-208 $23.00 SB-109 $11.95 7 o The Good Divorce, by Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D., 1994. Familyhood: Nurturing the Values that Matter, by An outstanding book with a powerful message: while di- Dr. Lee Salk, 1992. A practical, inspiring guide to communi- vorce is not 'good,' there is a path to a 'good divorce' where cating values. parents cooperate fully for the sake of their children. HB-220 $21.00 HB-209 $23.00 The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to A Hole in My Heart, by Claire Berman, 1991. A book that Shared Parenting in the 21st Century, the CRC will enable adult children of divorce to recognize the role book edited by David L. Levy. Order bulk copies (10 or more) they play in changing patterns in their lives. for only $4 a copy, resell the copies for the list price of $10 SB-210 *Discount Price $8.00 each, and make a profit for you or your organization! Indi- vidual copies will continue to be available from CRC for Families Apart, by Melinda Blau, 1993. 10 Keys to Suc- $10 each, plus $4 for postage, as long as supplies last. If cessful Co-Parenting. A blend of the author's own research, you would like copies (individual or bulk order) autographed and that of other experts, and rich in anecdotal information. by David L. Levy, just state to whom you would like it SB-211 *Discount Price $10.00 autographed (yourself, perhaps your children-give their names). REVISED! SB-221 Order 10 copies or more each only $4.00 Mom's House, Dad's House, by lsolina Ricci, Ph.D., Individual copies $10.00 1998. Making shared custody work: How parents can make two homes for their children after divorce. 100 New pages Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, by M. Gary to this classic book! Neuman, L.M.H.C. 1996. This book is based on the nation- SB-212 $20.00 ally renowned "Sandcastles" workshop. HB-222 $25.00 Negotiating Love: How Women and Men Can Re- solve Their Differences, by Riki Robbins Jones, 1995.The Sibling Society, by Robert Bly, 1996, author of "Iron Points our destructive habits by both genders which, when John." Describes our culture as one where adults remain realized, strengthen families and relationships. children, and children have no desire to become adults-a SB-213 Extra Low Price $11.00 nation of squabbling siblings. HB-223 $25.00 The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce, by Paula Weintraub and Terry Hillman, 1996. NEW! SB-214 $16.95 ***Ceasefire, by Cathy Young, 1999, syn- Putting Kids First, by Michael Oddenino. A must read for dicated columnist. Why women and men must caring parents and professionals, by CRC's General Coun- join forces to achieve true equality; how that sel. Includes a children's bill of rights. will help children, too. SB-215 $9.95 HB-224 $25.00 Second Chances, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Saying No Is Not Enough, by Richard Blakeslee, 1989. Based on ten year longitudinal study of - Schwebel, Ph.D., 1989. Raising children who the effects of divorce on adults and children. make wise decisions about drugs and alcohol. HB-216 *Discount Price $8.00 SB-225 $11.00 Surviving the Break-Up, How Children and Par-Abolition of Marriage, by Maggie Gallagher, 1996, ents Cope with Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D.syndicated columnist. How we destroy lasting love. and Joan Kelly, Ph.D., 1980. A classic that is still valid in HB-226 $25.00 discussing the problems of children being raised by single parents. Friends for Life, by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson, SB-217 *Discount Price $10.00 1997. Enriching the bond between mothers and their adult daughters. REVISED! HB-227 $29.00$ Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne Major. Nationally acclaimed author of "Breakthrough ***Talking Back to Ritalin, by Peter R. Parenting" and "Winning the Custody War Without Casual- Breggin, M.D., 1998, 4-time guest on Oprah. ties" What doctors aren't telling you about the dan- SB-218 $24.95 gers of stimulants. HB-228 $25.00 3 Steps to a Strong Family, by Linda and Richard Eyre, 1994. A 3-step program that can make your family life hap- pier, less stressful, and more rewarding. HB-219 $19.50 73 BOOKS FOR STEPPARENTS Money-Smart Divorce. What Women Needto How to Win as a Stepfamily, by Emily Know about Money and Divorce,by Esther M. Visher, Ph.D. and John Visher, M.D., 1982. Berger, 1996. The co-founders of the Stepfamily AssociationSB-507 $22.00$ of America answer questions and give sug- gestions on how to make stepfamilies work. The Myth of Male Power, by Warren Farrell,1993. Rock HB-301 $13.95 solid and authentic decimation of the myth of maleadvan- tage ...sweeps aside stereotyped assumptions touncover Making it as a Stepparent, New Roles/ a deeper truth. New Ru es, by Claire Berman, 1986. Former presidentSB-508 *Discount Price $6.00 of the Stepfamily Association of America provides practical help and insights. Why Men Are the Way They Are, byWarren Farrell, SB-302 $7.95 1986. Provides insights into loved one's secret insightsand desires. Stepfamilies Stepping Ahead, edited by Ma la Burt for SB-509 *Discount Price $3.00 the Stepfamily Association of America. h'ailters. SB-303 $9.95 ***Fathers' Rights, by JeffreyLeving. A best- MI... Mr. 1040,(631,11.1.41,70, selling book for fathers who want to maintaincon- BOOKS FOR GRANDPARENTS tact with their children. Grandparenting in a Changing World, by Edna SB-510 $12.50 Le Shan, 1997. "Common sense presented withuncommon grace." -Kirkus Reviews. The Divorced Parent: Success Strategies for Rais- ing Your Children After Separation, SB-401 $12.00 by Stephanie Marston, 1994. Provides practical advice and specific tools for raising well-adjusted children. BOOKS FOR SINGLE PARENTS HB-511 $21.00$ ***Still a Dad, The Divorced Father's Day, by Bill McCoy, 1995. Witty and wisenotes Father's Journey, by CRC's own Serge from a new dad in the real world. Prengel, 1998. Published with praise from HB-512 - -- $$22.00 Warren Farrell, Karen De Crow, and James A. Cook. Like Father, Like Son, By Hunter S. Fulghum,1996. A SB-2501 $13.95 collection of stories on being a man at midlife in America, with introduction by Robert Fulghum. Surviving Divorce-Women's Re- HB-513 $21.95 sources After Separation, by Mavis Maclean, 1991. ChildK Child Custody Made Simple, by Webster Women coping with earnings, maintenance and welfare in CUStOdY the U.S., France, and Great Britain. &In7,1" Watnik, 1997. Answers all your questions about HB-502 *Discount Price $5.00 child custody and child support for a single Cs, parent. Another Way Home: A Single Father's Story,by MUM WATNIR SB-514 $21.95 John Thorndike, 1996. A memoir of Thorndike's life with his wife and the difficult decisions he has had to make regard-The Single Parent's Money Guide, by Emily Card,1996. ing their son's life. A plan for managing your money when you are the onlyone your family can count on. HB-503 $24.00 SB-515 $14.95 Fatherless America, by David Blankenhorn, 1995 Shows the devastating consequences of fatherlessness in both in-Questions from Dad, by CRC Spokesperson andpop dividual families and in our society. singer Dwight Twilley, 1994. A very cool way to communi- cate with your child. Introduced by Dr. Susan Forward. HB-504 $23.00 SB-516 $17.00 The Masculine Mystique: The Politics of Mascu- I Am the Mother of Sons. Poems by Jayne Jaudon linity, by Andrew Kimbrell, 1995. Presents theargument Ferrer, that American men are in crisis and includes what lead to 1996. Illustrated by Lina Levy. HB-517 this phenomenon. $10.00 HB-505 $23.00 Men on Divorce-The Other Side of the Story,ed- The Daddy Track and the Single Father, by ited by Penny Kaganoff and Susan Spano, 1997. Geoffery SB-518 L. Greif, 1990. A book about successfully coping with kids, $12.00 housework, a job, an ex-wife, a social life, and the courts. One Swell Dad, by Pat Ross, 1992. The book HB-506 of memories $19.95 and expressions of fatherly endearment from the past. HB-519 $9.00 74 Another Way Home, by John Thorndike, 1996. A single Divorce and the Myth of Lawyers, by Lenard Marlow, father's story. J.D., 1992. The exposition of myths regarding the legal sys- HB-520 reduced to $5.00 tem and its effects on divorcing couples. HB-706 $10.95 MEDIATION & CONFLICT RESOLUTION ***The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce/Cus- ***Family Evaluations in Child Custody, Media- tody Battle, ATourThrough the Predatory World of Judges, tion, Arbitration and Litigation, by Richard Gardner, Lawyers, Psychologists and Social Workers in the Subcul- M.D., 1989. In this update, Gardner proposes a three-phase ture of Divorce, by Robert Seidenberg, with the legal insights system to remove child custody evaluations from courtroom of Williams Dawes, Esq., 1997. litigation. SB-707 $15.00 HB-601 $45.00 Every Parent's Guide to the Law, by Deborah L. Healing Hearts, Helping Children and Adults Forman. Everything you need to know about legal issues affecting parents and children pre-birth through the child- Recover from Divorce, by Elizabeth Hickey, M.S.W., rearing years. CRC's National Parent Education Director, and Elizabeth SB-708 $18.00 Dalton, attorney and mediator HB-602 $15.00 PARENTAL KIDNAPPING Parent Vs. Parent: How You and Your Child Can Survive the Custody Battle, by Stephen P. Herman,NEW! Autographed Copies! M.D., 1990. Expert advice for parents through all stages of the divorce process. ***They Are My Children, Too, by Catherine Meyer, HB-603 $20.95 1999. Powerful account of a mother's loss of her children. A case of international parental kidnapping. Written by Between Love and Hate, A Guide to Civilized CRC's new Honorary President. Divorce, by Lois Gold, M.S.W., 1992. Learn the funda- HB-801 $23.00 mental skills of negotiation conflict resolution and mediation, for everyone's good. When Parents Kidnap, by Geoffrey Greif and Rebecca SB-604 *Discount Price $9.00 Hegar, 1993. This book captures the experiences of parents searching for their children and abductors who have taken LEGAL ISSUES them; also makes public policy recommendations. HB-902 $22.95 NEW! From Courtship to Courtroom: What CHILD ABUSE Divorce Law Is Doing to Mariage, by Jed H. Abraham, 2000. Abraham, a lawyer, ***Ashes to Ashes...Families to Dust, 7i;Web`...., mediator, and joint custody advocate, writes by Dean Tong, 1996. False accusations of To'Coitjloolda chilling picture of how today's divorce laws child abuse: A road map for survivors that make life miserable for families. helps to answer their questions. SB-701 $15.00 SB-901 $15.95

NEW! ***Protocols for Sex Abuse Evalua- ***Complex Issues in Child Custody tions, by Richard Gardner, M.D., 1995. Pre- Evaluations, by Philip M. Stahl, 1999. Is- sents a new series of criteria and interview sequences to sues of concern for evaluators. help examiners involved in sex abuse evaluations. I I HB-702 $30.00 HB-902 $39.95

A Family Divided, by Robert Mendelson, 1997. ***The Parental Alienation Syndrome, A guide for men- A discussion of a divorced fathers struggle with tal health and legal professionals, by Richard Gardner, M.D., the child custody industry. 1995. An authoritative work on the Parental Alienation Syn- HB-703 $21.00 drome. SB-903 The Custody Revolution, by Richard Warshak, 1992. $30.00 The Father Factor and the Motherhood Mystique. Children Held Hostage, Dealing with Programmed HB-704 *Discount Price $15.00 and Brainwashed Children, by Stanley S. Clawar, Ph.D., C.C.S. and Brynne Rivlin, M.S.S., 1991. This book Custody for Fathers, by Carleen and Michael Brennan, is approved by the American Bar Association. 1994. Includes more than 100 strategies that have helped SB-904 $50.00 fathers win (share) custody of their children in a mom-bi- ased system. HB-705 $15.00 a 0 Recognizing Child Abuse, by Douglas Besharov, Ph.D., Psychotherapeutic & Legal Approaches To Paren- a resident scholar of the American Enterprise Institute. A tal Alienation Syndrome (PAS), by Richard A. Gardner, comprehensive guide to recognizing, preventing, and han- M.D. An in-depth discussion of ways that parentscan alien- dling child abuse and neglect. ate the child against the other parent. SB-905 $12.00 V103 $25.00 The Book of David, How Preserving Families Can REPORTS Cost Children's Lives, by Richard Gel les, 1996.A con- UPDATED 1997, Interference with Access (Visitation)as a vincing and dramatic book about the flaws of the child wel- Tort. Not a frequent remedy, but one that may be available. fare system. R101 $10.00 HB-906 - $23.00 Send for a list of other reports.

Suggestions of Abuse, by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D. 1994. PINS AND BUTTONS A book about true and false memories of childhood sexual trauma. The famous "Children First" HB-907 $22.00 pin. 8 colors, with figures of seven children standing on The Abuse ExcuseAnd Other Cop-Outs,by noted a field of green with logo lawyer Alan Dershowitz, 1994. Sob stories and evasions of "ChildrenFirst."Two responsibility. prongs. 3/4" high, 1-1/2" wide. HB-908 $23.00 P101 $8.00 Button created by Patti Diroff that says True and False Accusations of Sex Abuse,by Ri- "Child support is more than a check, it's chard A. Gardner, M.D., 1992. A guide for legal and mental being a parent." With CRC logo, including health professionals. children's faces. 4 colors, round, 2-1/4" di- HB-909 $45.00 ameter. B202 $2.00 VIDEOS Children: The Experts on Divorce, by Elizabeth T-SHIRTS Hickey, MSW 1994. The children speak from their own ex- CRC 4-color t-shirts say "Help perience of going through their parents' divorce. A CRC- award winning video prepared by CRC's National Parent Stop Crime, Give Children 2 Par- Education Director. ents" Specify size: child S, M, L; V101 Adult S, M, L, XL. Specify color: $25.00 white or blue. $10 adults, $8 children Don't Forget The Children, by the Dallas,Texas Asso- ciation of Young Lawyers. A CRC award-winning video that provides information on co-parenting in the event of divorce. V102 $20.00 r Order Form Title Total enclosed Title MC, VISA, AMEX # Title Title exp. date Title Send to: CRC Books Title 300 "I" Street N.E. Total Suite 401 S/H $4.00 first item Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 $1.00 each addtl. item Phone your order to CRC at 202/547-6227 SHIP ORDER TO: Fax your order to CRC at 202/546-4272 NAME: ADDRESS: CITY: STATE: ZIP:

Page 18 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999/2000 CRC Wants Chapters in Every State

CRC WANTS CHAPTERS IN EVERY STATE! GO CRC!! CRC Encourages Platinum, Gold and Silver For development of chapters Life Members in states that do not yet have any CRC chapters: We appreciate everyone who has worked for children and CRC. We thank Re: states out west, contact all those who have enabled CRC to improve the lives of children and families. CRC Board Member from the So many have given so much, of their time, efforts, and tax-deductible finan- chapters Terry Cady in Illinois. cial contributions. Re: states in the south, contact For the year 2000CRC's 15th anniversaryCRC is announcing three Board Advisor from the chapters new levels of support of CRC. They are as follows: . Fred Wall in North Carolina. * A PLATINUM LIFE MEMBER is one who gives CRC $5,000 or more. Re: states in the east, contact * A GOLD LIFE MEMBER is one who gives CRC $2,500 to $4,999. Board Advisor from the chapters * A SILVER LIFE MEMBER is one who gives CRC $1,000 to $2,499. Margaret Wuwert in Ohio. * A LIFE MEMBER is one who gives CRC $500 to $999. See their names and numbers During the past year, we have listed life members in all of our newsletter on page 26. issues who have given CRC at least $500. Starting with our next issue we will For states in the east, you may list only new life members, as well as platinum, gold and silver life members. also contact Ron Pilcher, 513/755- Those will be contributors starting January 1, 2000. 2932. Anyone who has contributed to CRC in the past may increase the dona- Join CRC, then ask for a copy tion to reach any of the life member levels. If you are unsure about your of the 100-page CRC booklet that previous donation level, contact CRC, and we would be glad to let you know. explains everything you need to Thank you. know about affiliation. The cost of the booklet is $15.00. Family Facts Updated Parenting Photocopy and distribute the "Fam-Letters to the Editor. "Family Facts" is a Directory Available ily Facts" on page 20! Use as hand-outsregular feature of this newsletter. Send when visiting the Legislature, disseminat-us your verified facts (with actual cop- CRC's new "International ing information to the courts or the me-ies, sources and dates) to "Family Facts," Parenting Directory" (8th edi- dia, or as a resource for testimony andCRC. tion) is readyin hardcopy and disc. Based on replies from groups Order CRC Book and Make Money! in the previous directory we wrote to, the new directory will contain Order bulk copies (10 or more) of the still popular 1993 listings of about 1,000 organiza- OldeilPy:;;; publication, The Best Parent is Both Parents, for only $4 a tions across the country, and `1".7.0it*itil [VC] copy. Resell the copies for the list price of $10 each, and make 11R abroad, that work in areas such as a profit for you or your organization! Individual copies are $10. custody, access (visitation), and parental kidnapping. The Directory, an invaluable networking tool, is available in Amicus Briefs May Be Available hardcopy or disc for $12 for CRC members, and $15 for non-mem- CRC recently filed an amicus brief on appeal for CRC member Jeffrey bers. CRC thanks Paul Robinson Beal. Beal seeks joint custody of his children. and Ed Mudrak for their hard If your case is on appeal, and you would like CRC to consider writing an work in updating this Directory. amicus brief, contact CRC. CRC cannot handle cases at the trial level, and we The hardcopy is updated once do not write the main appeal brief. An amicus brief is a supplemental brief, a year; the disc is updated fre- telling the court why this case is of significance not only to the parties in the quently. Order from CRC and case, but to other children and families as well. We generally need 30 to 60 specify which version you want days before the filing deadline. hardcopy or disc. Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 19 77 cerAtiee,A74mcea Do Better CongressmembersFind Children with Dadsand Momsin TheirLives Senate by Sen. PeterDominici (D-NM) Fatherhood bill (S.1364)introduced in the U.S. In the introduction toThe Responsible their biological Father; and Sen. Evan Bayh(R-IN), it states that children, live apart from children in the U.S., or36 percent of all such 1) nearly 25 million who divorce have atleast 1 child; 5,000,000 in 1960 to17,000,000 in 1999, and 2) 60 percent of couples increased from just over living with only a mother from 19 percent to 25 percent; 3) the number of children children living with only1 parent increased the percentage of their father in at least 1 yearand 50 percent of between 1981 and 1991 without a father have not seen who live in households 4) 40 percent of children home; such children have nevervisited their father's comparison to children whohave such contact: contact with theirbiological father are, in 5) children who live without likely to live in poverty A) 5 times more drugs into the classroom; B) more likely tobring weapons and C) twice as likely tocommit crime; 13) twice as likely todrop out of school; E) twice as likely tobe abused; F) more likely tocommit suicide; likely to abuse alcohol ordrugs; and G) more than twice as community is the H) more likely tobecome pregnant as teenagers; fathers and the bestpredictor of crime in a overwhelmingly males who grewup without 6)violent criminals are father households; highest percentage of singleparent percentage of absent Australia, Germany, andItaly, the U.S. has the compared with GreatBritain, Canada, 7) physical absence of households with dependentchildren; family or social problemfacing the U.S. is the citizens believe thatthe most significant and development ofchildren; 8) 70 percent of U.S. of involvement offathers in the rearing the father from thehome, resulting in a lack that provide for supportfor responsible fatherhood, encouraged, not restricted,from implementing programs 9) States should be incidence of marriage; promote marriage,and increase the need to reconnectchildren and fathers; 10) there is a social fatherhood and 11) the promotionof responsible encouragement of two-parentfamilies should not- efforts of single Girls More A) denigrate thestanding or parenting Likelyto Get Pregnant mothers; or WithoutDads of children fromabusive parents; in Theix- Lives B) lessen the protection will have two More than but should increasethe chance that children a quarter ofAmericanchildrenneady them grow up healthyand secure; 17milliond caring parents to help not live with theirfather. Girls the U.S. and thefuture of our children, a father in their without 12) for the future of should assist life aretwo anda half times Congress, States, andlocal communities likely toget pregnant more actively involved intheir and 53 percentmore likely parents to become more commit suicide.Boys without to children's lives; and 63 percent a father in their lifeare important means bywhich a parent more likely torun away and 37percent 13) child support is an likely to abuse as financial responsibilityfor a child and drugs. Both can take which a girls and boysare twice emotional support is animportant means by more likely to dropout ofhigh school, for a child. twice as likely parent can takesocial responsibility to end up in jailand nearly four need help foremotional times more likelyM "Fathers Count" or behavioral problems. This bill is the Senatecounterpart to the U.S. Department House in 1999. Write toSens. Dominici of Health bill passed by the S.1364; write to your ServicesFIRS), (and Human them for introducing press release, March26, 1999 and Bayh thanking fatherhood bill. Senators urging supportfor a responsible Mothers Write all Senators at WithoutCustody Thereare now 2 million of th mothers without custodeiry Senator children. Thesemoms are huning U.S. Senate to fullyshare inthe upbringing Theyeed Washington, D.C. 20510 ever possible. of their childrenwhen-

From Volume 14, Number 3, Winter 1999/2000, Speak Out br Chi/dren, newsletter of the Children's Rights Council 300 "I" Street N.E., Suite 401, Washington, D.C. 20002-4389 phone (202) 547-6227 78 Chapter News

Access Centers no cost to parents. CRC received an ac-obtaining shared parenting for children in D.C. Area cess grant from the state of Maryland toand families in Massachusetts. The Mas- provide this service. CRC is expanding operations in the sachusetts chapter president is Steve Washington, D.C. area. A new Child CRC has developed a tool kit to helpCarrier, who recommended Carolyn for Access Transfer Center has opened inchapters start Child Access Transferthe coordinator position. Centers. If you want a copy, please con- Fairfax County, Virginia. This Center tact Al Ellis at CRC Headquarters. Texas will be operated in cooperation with the Diana Buffington is CRC's new co- Circuit Court of Fairfax County. Fairfax ordinator for Texas. Diana is former is the largest county in the MetropolitanNew CRC Coordinators instate coordinator in Alaska, but she DC area. Massachusetts and Texas moved to Texas, because her husband The CRC Baltimore Chapter will obtained a job in Dallas. Diana was born open a Child Access Transfer Center in Massachusetts and raised in Texas, so going there is cooperation with the Circuit Court in Carolyn"returning home." She got into the Baltimore County. Brumber, amovement because of her husband In keeping with CRC tradition there grandmotherRon's non-custodial status with his son. will be no fees to parents for these ser- who lives in theWhile in Alaska, Diana chaired the Task vices. We continue to use our volunteers Boston area, isForce on Alaska Family Law Reform, at these Centers. CRC's newand was in the process of working for A Supervised Child Access Center Massachusettsnew financial child support guidelines, will also open in Prince George's Brumber and granddaughter coordinator.based on the CRC guideline when she County, Maryland. This Center is inCarolyn had difficulty getting to seeingleft, and had proposed legislation on cooperation with the Circuit Court ofher grandchildren because of a custodymediation and kinship care. She testified Prince George's County. Although somebattle between her son and daughter.at several hearings in the Alaska Wel- paid staff is required to provide securityHer main concern is "how divorce willfare Reform Act. She is active in the Re- at the supervised access center, there isaffect the children." She will focus onpublican Party in Texas. if you are considerilivgare; ge, or going through divorle, you in &us g read a. FROM COURTSIEP r2O COURTROOM OURTSHIP What Divorce Law Is Doing To Marriage... Shat ortc Li% h Doing lu ',tarn tgt. by Jed H. Abraham Attorney Jed H. Abraham explodes the myths about divorce in this candid, often caustic, book about ToCOURTROOM the ways in which divorce laws are unfair to men. Drawing upon his extensive experience, Abraham sketches a compelling picture of what men can expect during court battles over alimony, custody, child support, division of property, and charges of domestic violence.Forget your illusions about amicable separation and fair divorce laws, says Abraham, as he details the economic and emotional hardships that beset many men during, and long after, the divorce process. But From Courtship to Courtroom is also a helpful guide to men who want to avoid the drain of divorce. At first suggesting that they not marry at all, but also acknowledging that they will, Abraham warns men to prepare before marriage for the worst that might happen if the knot unravels. He makes concrete, feasible suggestions about selecting the right mate, pre-nuptial agreements, spousal bank accounts, and how to change the law. Any man considering marriage, or going through divorce, will want Publication Date: January 2000 to read this book. ISBN: 0-8197-0692-2 Paperback Jed H. Abraham practices family law and mediation in Evanston, Illinois. He holds a B.A. (Phi Beta Kappa) from the University of California at Berkeley, an M.B.A. from New York University, and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He is $14.95 the principal author of Illinois' joint custody legislation and has published widely on family law reform in academic and professional journals and in the popular media.

Available from Bloch Publishing Co., Inc. 0 37 West 26th Street, 9th Floor 0 New York, NY 10010 Phone: 212-532-3971 0 E-mail: Blochpub@worldnetattnet 0 Website: http://www Blochpub corn

Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 21 7 9 BEST COPY AVAILAKE CourtCases

U.S. Supreme Court to adopted a statue providing specificallymony that her ex-husband paid, on the Decide Grandparents for grandparent visitation or generally forbasis that the completion of trainingwas Case visitation rights of third parties over thenot a "very dramatic" change in circum- The U.S. Supreme Court will soonobjection of the parents. stances. However, the appeals courtsaid decide whether paternal grandparents State courts, however, are divided the ex-husband should not have beenre- can have access (visitation) with their over whether such statutes are constitu-quired to provide anything beyonda ma- grandchildren despite the objections oftional, especially if there is an intact fam-terial change in circumstances in order the mother and the mother'snew hus-ily objecting to the access. Washingtonto get the reduction in alimony. band, the step-father, who has adoptedjoined Tennessee and Georgia courts in (VA Ct App., No. 0259-98-3, 6/29/99) the children. declaring that their grandparents visita- Tommie Granville and Brad Troxel tion statutes violated the U.S. Constitu-Non-Dad Can get Support lived together sporadically before tion. In contrast, Kentucky, Utah, New Reimbursement When Tommie stopped seeing Brad in JuneHampshire and Indiana have applieda Real Father Shows Up 1991, while she was pregnant with their"best interests of the child" test. second child, Isabelle. After Tommie In King v. King, 828 S.W. 2d 630 A divorced man is entitled to reim- bursement of the child support be paid and Brad's separation, Brad's parentssaw (Ky, 1992), cert. denied, 113 S. Ct. 378 Natalie and Isabelle only during Brad's (1992), the U.S Supreme Court deniedhis ex-wife, after he found that another limited visitations. a request to review a Kentucky Supreme man was actually the father of the three Brad committed suicide on May 13,Court decision that generously inter-children involved, the Colorado Court of Appeals ruled October 28. The 1992. At first the girls continuedto visit preted the Kentucky grandparents stat- ap- the Troxels regularly, but their motherute. In that case, a paternal grandfatherpeals court said that the Uniform Par- soon decided to stop visitation. In De-was allowed by the court to visit with hisentage Act permitted such a reimburse- ment claim by a stepfather against the cember, 1993, the Troxels fileda peti-grandchild twice weekly against the tion to obtain visitation rights with theirwishes of the child's married, fit and biological father. During the divorcepro- grandchildren. In 1995, the trial courtnatural parents. ceedings, Donald Smith petitioned for entered a decree ordering visitationone The U.S. Supreme Court's decisiona declaration as to the paternity of the weekend a month, and one week dur-not to hear King and thus to allow the three children. Loretta Smith soughtsuc- ing the summer. Kentucky Statute to stand as constitu-cessfully to have the children's putative (The grandparents have beenmar-tional is an indication that the Courtmayfather, Charles Ames joined asa party. allow the Troxels access. ried for 35 years. The grandfatherwas a When Ames was determined to be the member of the nationally known musi- Another indication is that 75% offather, the trial court then decided that cal group, the Fleetwoods, in the 1960's).older Americans are now grandparents,Donald Smith could recover the support The grandparents maintained visita-including several members of the Su-previously provided for the children. tion until the Court of Appeals in Julypreme Court. The appeals court rejected Ames'argu- 1997 reversed the visitation order, hold- Further note: Almost all CRCmem-ment that Donald Smith failed to file his claim within a statutory two-year period. ing that non-parents lack "standing"tobers we have polled favor children'sac- seek visitation unless a custody action iscess to grandparents, regardless of theThe court said that Loretta Smith told Donald in October 1993 that he pending. The Troxels never soughtcus-parents' marital situation. was not tody; only access. the father, but he did not know thetrue The Washington Supreme CourtAlimony Can be Reduced father's identity until Loretta named reversed the lower court's holding that if Other Parent's Imputed Charles during the divorce proceedings. the grandparents lacked "standing", but Income Increases (In re Smith, Colo. Ct. App., No. 97CA2202, 10/28/99) held that grandparents visitation rights A trial court that imputed incometo were unconstitutional. a divorced woman for child support pur- The Supreme Court is expected toposes should also have done so in rela- Parents Cannot Mutually address the issue ofwhether grandparent tion to her ex-husband's alimony obliga- Decide What Is in the visitation laws are constitutional, especiallytion, the Virginia Court of Appeals held Best Interests of Their in the face of a parent's objection. TheJune 29. The case involved a non-custo- Children court may also have to decide whether dial motherwho, shortly after the divorce, A divorced couple may not establish permitting grandparent visitation over ancompleted job training thatenhanced her their own arrangements for modification adoptive parent's objection infringes onearning capacity. The judge ruled that she of custody if those arrangements differ the integrity of the adoptive family. was voluntarily underemployed, and in-from the statutory rules, the Minnesota Note: By 1993, after severalyears of creased her child support obligation, butSupreme Court held Sept. 2. Thecase efforts, every state in the U.S. hadhe refused to reduce the amount of ali-involved parents, Ronald Prauenshuh Page 22 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999/2000 80 and Sherrie Giese, who were divorced in 1994. They agreed that there would Book Reviews be joint custody, but Giese would have sole physical custody. The agreement From Courtship to Courtroom: What also provided that, if either parent were Divorce Law is Doing to Marriage to move a distance greater than 50 miles away, this would be a substantial change by fed H. Abraham in circumstances. In this situation, cus- Available from CRC tody would change, based on the child's 169 pages, softback, $15 Bloch Publishing best interests, the parents agreed. In Company, Inc., New York; ISBN: 0-8197-0692-2 1996 Giese accepted a new job in a Min- nesota city 150 miles away. Frauenshuh This new book presents a chilling picture of the ways in which today's divorce sought a change in custody on the basis laws make life miserable for men: alimony, custody battles, child support, attorney's of the earlier agreement. However, the fees and false domestic violence accusations. CRC finds that today's divorce laws make a chilling picture for many women, trial court refused to apply the parties' but Abraham, a lawyer and mediator, focuses on men. From the moment your best interests standard, and said that the wife files for divorce," Abraham says, "the State, acting through the court, will assert child's emotional and physical well-be- authority over everything you own," in order to distribute a major share of your ing would not be thwarted by the property to her. Moreover, with most courts awarding custody of the children to the mother's move. It therefore permitted mother, "your ex will acquire primary parental authority to live with your children her to move with the child. The Su- and to determine their general development, including their health care, education, and religious training. You may 'visit with them' on scheduled weekends." preme Court upheld the decision of the "And that's just the beginning." trial court, saying that only when joint Abraham, who has a strong economics background, offers insights on the fi- physical custody is granted can the par- nances of divorce that are not present in other books. He shows just how economi- ents set the rules for modifying custody. cally devastating divorce can be. Both women and men can benefit from reading (Frauenshuh v. Giese (Frauenshuh), this book. Note: About 10 years ago, Abraham was one of the first researchers to expose Minn., No. C8- 98144, 9/2/99). the errors in research by Lenore Weitzman. Abraham found contradictions in her Editor's Note: Under this ruling, the methodology, which led him to believe that the huge disparities in standard of living parents may not mutually decide what is post-divorce between fathers and mothers she postulated were not accurate. Other in the best interests of their children. The researchers found similar inconsistences, and eventually Weitzman admitted the Divorce Industry at work! errors. Abraham is also a major author of Illinois' oint custody legislation and has published widely on family law reform in academic and professional journals and in Father's Parental Rights the popular media. May Not be Terminated for Child He Didn't Know Existed A Heart Full of Love A man's parental rights to a child he by Bette S. Margolis, Illustrated by Christie L. Cline did not know existed may not be termi- Available from CRC nated through an adoption without his 80 pages, large type, illustrated, $15, consent, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ISBN: 0-9676360-0-0 held Sept. 16. The case involved an un- wed mother who failed to inform the An 'Easy-Read' Book, published by American Psychiatric Press, Inc. Winner father of her pregnancy, and withheld his of the Guilded Quill Award for excellence in children's literature. For children identity from the agency who chose to ages 7-9 place her child in an out-of-state adop- Some blurbs on the back cover explain the book: tion. The Supreme Court upheld a lower "Children need to grieve the losses attendant to their parents' divorce. This court dismissal of the adoption petition, book offers a beautiful way to begin the dialogue. I heartily recommend it. saying that the father's due process rights John Bradshaw, author, NewYork Times bestseller, were denied when he was deprived of "Bradshaw On: The Family." notice of the pregnancy and birth, and "Real life is complicated for children of divorce. At last, a charming book that was not given the opportunity to assert shows by example that it's o.k for a child with a loving heart to be open and recep- his parental rights. tive to new family members" (In re Baby Boy W., Okla., No. Margorie Engel, Ph.D. president, Stepfamily Association of America 91604,9/16/99). "If a child of divorce learns that you can't have too many adults who love you, Except for the grandparents case, the and it's o.k. to love them in return, then this book has not only helped him or her above cases are summarized from Fam- through divorce recovery, but it has also provided some valuable lessons in empa- thy, understanding, acceptance and above all, love." ily Law Reporter. They appear here by Andrea Engber, Director, National Organization of Single Mothers, permission of the publisher, The Bureau Syndicated Columnist, "Single..With Children." of National Affairs, Inc. Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 23 al Congressional Update

Here are some important bills and The bill contains unsubstantiatedpher Cox (RCA). Referred to House resolutions in Congress affecting fami- charges that abusive fathers seek jointWays and Means Committee. It isa bill lies. Write to your House member orcustody, ignoring whether abusive moth-to require a parent who is delinquent in Senator to let them know what you thinkers also seek joint custody, or whetherchild support to include his unpaid ob- of a particular bill. They do not getmost people who seek joint custody areligation in gross income, and to allow enough mail on issues of concern togood, decent Americans who love theircustodial parents a bad debt collection CRC members. So contact them! Letchildren. The bill ignores the fact if most for unpaid child support payments. them know what sort of legislation youchildren were granted shared parenting H.R. 833. Sec. 149 sets forth duties would like to see passed! of their moms and dads, most problemsof the bankruptcy trustee under Chap- Write affecting children would decrease, in-ters 7 and 13 regarding a claim against Senator (name) cluding lower crime and drug rates,an individual debtor for the collection Washington, D.C. 20510 higher school performance, less familyof child support, notifying the claim Or violence, less suicide among children,holder and appropriate State childsup- Representative(name) and higher childhood self-esteem. port agency of the debtor's location. Washington, D.C. 20515 Also, the bill ignores research de-Sec.152 denies automatic stay protection scribed in a NewYork Times News Ser-to withholding of income payment for House ills vice article November 23, 1999, statingpayment of certain domestic support that in areas from Vermont to Colorado,obligations and for the commencement H.R. 3315, Re- approximately one quarter of defendants or continuation of a proceeding. (1) con- ducing the Effects ofcharged in domestic violencecases are Abuse and Domes- cerning child custody or visitation; (2) al- now women. FBI Statistics reported byleging domestic violence; or (3) seeking tic Violence onthe Heritage Foundation and syndicated Youth, the READY dissolution of marriage (except to the columnist Kathleen Parker find that bothextent the proceeding concerns property Act. Introducedwomen and men commit crimes againstof the estate). November, 1999 bychildren. Violence tends to occur in situ- Rep. Sue Kelly and Introduced by Rep. George Gekas ations involving alcohol and drug abuse, (R-PA) and passed in the House;to be Andrews co-sponsored by thus lending a gender-neutral coloration considered by the Senate in January. Reps. Connieto the issue of family violence. Morella, Nancy Johnson, Carolyn H.R.1488. Compassion for Children Congress must demand objective na-and Child Support EnforcementAct of Maloney and Judy Biggert. The bill aims tional research on child and family abuse to reduce the impact on children who 1999. introduced by Rep. Henry Hyde and fund programs which have the well (R-IL). Referred in the House Ways and witness or experience domestic violencebeing of children as their realpurpose. by among other measures asking Con- Means Committee and the House Judi- H.R. 521. Denial of Passports tociary Committee. A bill to amend the gress to adopt language that "it is not inNoncustodial Parents in Cases of Non- the best interest of the child to force joint Internal Revenue Code of 1986 and payment of Child Support. Introduced Social Security Act to repeal provisions custody in cases where there is a history by Rep. Robert Andrews (D -NJ). Re-relating to the State enforcement of child of domestic violence" and that it is "not ferred to House International Relationssupport obligations and the disburse- in the best interest of a child to makeso Committee and the House Subcommit-ment of such support and to require the called "friendly parent" provisionsa fac- tee for International Operations andInternal Revenue Service to collect and tor when there is abuse against a parentHuman Rights. It is a bill that would deny or child." disburse such support throughwage passports to noncustodial parents sub-withholding and other means. According to Rep. Kelly, the READYject to State arrest warrants incases of Act "amends the Parental Kidnapping H.R. 1869. Sponsored by Rep. Sue nonpayment of child support awards. Kelly (D -NY), the House on Novem- Prevention Statute to provide a defense Write to Chairman Benjamin A. to women who flee across state lines to ber 10 passed the Stalking Prevention Gilman, (R-NY), House Internationaland Victim Protection Act, which would escape domestic violence or sexual as-Relations Committee and Chairman sault." Rep. Kelly further stated: "Domes- amend Title 18 of the U.S. Code and Christopher Smith (R-NJ), House Sub-broaden the definition of stalking in in- tic violence often escalates duringsepa-committee for International Operations ration and divorce, and visitation is often terstate or foreign commerce to include and Human Rights, Washington, D.C. those who act "with the intent to injure used as an opportunity for abuse." The20515, asking that passports should also bill also notes: "The need for supervised or harass" another. The bill would not be denied to individuals subject tostatetake the place of state anti-stalking visitation centers far exceeds the number stat- arrest warrants in violation of custodyutes but would provide for federal pros- of available programs, resulting incourts and access/visitation orders. ecution where a stalker threatens by tele- ordering unsupervised visitation anden- H.R. 816. Child Support Enforce- dangering parents and children." phone, mail, or e-mail. Rep. Spencer ment Act. Introduced by Rep. Christo-Bachus (R-AL), one of the sponsors, told Page 24 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999 / 2000 the House (See Congressional Record,son has a support obligation, an amountup of children sites should be given even November 19,1998, page H11910), thatequal to the lesser of: higher priority in S. 51, Title III, because "we have over 1 million women in this (i) the anticipated future child sup-more unwed, separating and divorced country who are being stalked, we haveport determined under (C) and parents have communication problems about 400,000 men, and we have hun- (ii) the net proceeds held under (A)than are engaged in violence. dreds of thousands of children who areas reduced by the any application of such CRC recommends that you state that now being stalked because of theproceeds under (B) and: Sec. 32 of the proposed law should di- Internet." The bill now goes to the Sen- (E) distribute to the person anyrect the Attorney General to also report ate for consideration. amounts not held in trust under (D). on the frequency of use and effect of false By expanding the definition of stalk- The term "anticipated future childallegations of abuse in the midst of cus- ing to include "harassment," a chargesupport" means the presentvalue ofeachtody or access/visitation battles, which frequently leveled by one parent againstchild support payment that will comehave been noted by the American Bar another during divorce, the bill will al-due under the support obligation of theAssociation and other organizations. We most certainly lead to greater abuse ofperson, assuming that the support obli-must deal with false abuse accusations court restraining orders by vindictive gation will finally cease solely because thein order to more fully help children who parents. Under the new bill, no clearchild has attained an age requiring thereally have been abused, as officials in guidelines are given for the removal oftermination of the support obligation. Texas and other states have decided. restraining orders S.1033. Child Support Penalty Fair- H.R. 1248. The Violence Against Senate is ills ness Act. introduced by Sen. Dianne Women Act (VAWA), sponsored by S.51 Title IIIFeinstein (D-CA) . Referred to Senate Rep. Connie Morella (R-MD), would Finance Committee. It is a bill to amend Study of Child Cus- increase appropriations authorized un- tody Laws in Do-Title IV of the Social Security Act to der the current act. The United States mestic Violencecoordinate the penalty for the failure of a State to operate a State child support Supreme Court recently announced that Cases. Authorizes disbursement unit with the alternative it would review the constitutionality of the Attorney Gen- VAWA. H.R. 357, another VAWA bill, penalty procedure for failures to meet eral to make grants sponsored by Rep. John Conyers ( D- data processing requirements. to States and Indian MI ) , would significantly expand the Biden tribal governments scope of VAWA and includes provi- to enable them to Write to Sen. Feinstein and your sions for an antijoint custody resolution. enter into contracts and cooperativeown U.S. senators urging that the pen- A related new bill, HR 3315, recentlyagreements to assist public or privatealty for failure to implement the full faith introduced is discussed above. and credit interstate access/visitation law non-profit entities in establishing and op- HR. 2855. The Child Support Re- should result in financial penalties to the erating supervised visitation centers for serve Trust Act was introduced in Sep- purposes of facilitating supervised visi-state. tember 1999 by Rep. Rob Andrews (D- tation and visitation exchange of children NJ) to amend the Social Security Act to by and between parents. Requires that require that anticipated child support be priority be given to States that consider Important Phone held in trust on the sale or refinancing domestic violence in making a custody Numbers of certain real property of an obligateddecision and require findings on the parent record. Introduced by Sen. Joseph House Judiciary Committee This bill includes the following pro- Biden (D-DE). Currently in the Senate (202) 224-4151 vision: On any sale or refinancing by a Judiciary Committee. person of any real property in the State Sec.302. Directs the Attorney Gen- House International Relations against which a lien for amounts of over- eral to study and report to Congress on Committee due support owed by the person has ever Federal and State laws relating to child (202) 225-5021 arisen, without regard to whether such custody, including the Parental Kidnap- lien has ever been extinguished, the State ping Prevention Act of 1980, and their House Ways and Means reserve trust unit shall: effect on child custody cases in which Committee (A) withhold the net proceeds of the domestic violence is a factor. Requires (202) 225-3625 person from the sale or refinancing; study to examine the burdens and risks (B) apply the net proceeds withheld encountered by victims of domestic vio- Senate Fmance Committee under (A) to any overdue support owed lence arising from compliance with the (202) 224-5225 by the person; full faith and credit (and judicial juris- (C) determine the anticipated future diction) requirements of that Act Senate Judiciary Committee child support of the person; CRC recommends that you write to (202) 225-3951 (D) hold in trust, for the benefit of Sen. Biden and to your own U.S. sena- the child or children for whom the per- tors urging that neutral drop-off and pick- Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 25 83 National Affiliate Organizations andChapters

Hatnclen, Cr 06514 National Affiliate Rob and Sandra Snow, chairs Vestal, NY 13850 8201 Brookriver Drived, #118 phone: 203/288-7827 Organizations CRC of Greater Baltimore phone and fax: (607) 785-9338 Dallas, TX 75247 fax: 203/281-1425 2 West 30th Street phone: 214 /630 -8377, #118 email: libros3@aolcom Mothers Without Custody (MW/ Baltimore, MD 21218 Thomas Thornton, president lax: 214/630-1143 oq website: paradisetech.com/crc/ phone and fax: 410/8899404 CRC of New York City ctcrchun e-mail: [email protected] Jennifer Isham, coordinator email: [email protected] 499 Ft. Washington Avenue, #3D website: website only: http: www/ New York, NY 10033 conununity.dallasnews.com/clmn/ Delaware Massachusetts motherswithoutcustody.org hotline: 212/431-7724 CITIX James A. Morning, president Carolyn Number, coordinator fax: 212/740-7008 CRC of Delaware Stepfamily Association of America Stave Carrier, president email: [email protected] Children's Rights Coalition (SAA) PO Box 1311 CRC of Massachusetts Dover, DE 19901 (Affiliate) Margorie Engel, president 16 Union Street North Carolina/South Carolina P.O. Box 12961 302/734-8522 Holiston, MA 01746 Larry Kallemyn, Exec. Dir. Fred Wall, Jr. coordinator Capitol Station email: [email protected] 650J Street, Suite 205 phone: 508/4295282 509 N. Seventh Street Austin, TX 78711-2961 Lincoln, NE 68508 e-mail: Wilmington, NC 28401 fax: 512/4998056 402/47727837 District of Columbia [email protected] 910/762-4952 email: [email protected] 1-800/735-0329 Frank Banner, coordinator email: [email protected] CRC of the District of Columbia email: StepFtun0aol.com website:[email protected] Vermont Flillcrest Children's Center wcbsitc: www.stepfam.org George Kelly, chairman Laurie Casey, coordinator 1325 "W" Street N.W. 3rd floor Joint membership in SAA and Concerned Fathers of Dan Carrigan, Director The Family Tree Access Center Washington, D.C. 20009 CRC: $35.00 for the first year Massachusetts, Inc. Center for Children of Separation Howe Center phone: 202/232-6100 P 0 Box 2768 and Divorce 1 Scale Avenue, Suite 62 fax: 202/483-4560 CRC Chapters Springfield, MA 01101-2768 4950 Park Road Rutland, VT 05701 phone: 413/736-7432 Charlotte, NC 28209 802/775-0068 CRC of Japan Florida fax: 413/732-3867 704/522-1331 Walter Benda Kris Kline, coordinator P.O. Box 583 CRC of Florida Michigan Virginia Ohio John Vaughan, president Max Meadows, VA 24360 355 Shore Drive Barbara Toth, coordinator Margaret Wuwert, coordinator Ellenton, FL 34222 CRC of Virginia, Tidewater 540/637-3576 CRC of Michigan CRC of Ohio chapter phone:941/722-8688 email: [email protected] P 0 Box 653 2745 Sagamore Road P 0 Box 61245 and Brian Thomas fax: 813/620-9068 Edmore, MI 48829-0653 Toledo, OH 43606 Virginia Beach, VA 23462 4-18-15-903 email: [email protected] 517/427-5774 419/472-1471 phone: 757/463-KIDS Kamiki Tazawa Setagaya-Ku email: johnny@picusnetcom Georgia Tokyo, Japan 156 Minnesota Or contact: website: childrens-rights.org 011-81-3-5317-4371 Harry A. Prillaman, coordinator Bruce Kaskubar, coordinator Kevin O'Brien CRC of Georgia CRC of Minnesota P 0 Box 8805 Murray Steinberg, president Alabama 808 Springharbor Court 5905 Chateau Road N.W. Cincinnati, OH 45208 Woodstock, GA 30188-5509 CRC of Virginia, Richmond Dr. Richard C. Weiss, coordinator Rochester, MN 55901 phone: 513/6247223 chapter phone: 678/643-5924 514 Heritage Court S. phone and fax: (507) 289-5745 fax: 513/624-3703 9244 Royal Grant Drive Auburn, AL 36830 fax: 678/643-5923 (call before faxing) email: [email protected] Mechanicsville, VA 23116 email: [email protected] phone: 334/8261832 or email: [email protected] website: www.pacegroup.org phone: 804/5597090 334/844-2666 fax: 804/5597092 Minois Missouri email: weissrlevetmed.auburn.edu Oregon email: familyerichmond.net Terry Cady, coordinator Scott Field, chair Roy Nolan, coordinator Alaska CRC of Illinois CRC of Eastern Missouri CRC of Oregon Paul Robinson, president Gary Maxwell, coordinator 905 Wayne Avenue P.O. Box 220661 P 0 Box 2095 Fathers United for Equal Rights CRC of Alaska Deerfield, IL 60015 Kirkwood, MO 63122 Portland, OR 97208 and Women's Coalition phone: 847/374-0461 P.O. Box 92003 314-963-4668 phone: 503/232-8630 P 0 Box 1323 Anchorage, AK 99509-2083 fax: 312/322-3553 atl. phones: 314/878-1262 fax: 503/2339390 Arlington, VA 22210-1323 phone: 907/277-3980 email: mynk7lA @prodigy.com 314/838-7092 phone: 703/451-8580 fax: 907/276-3980 email: [email protected] Pennsylvania fax: 301/568-5812 email: [email protected] Indiana Ann Poliakoff; coordinator email: [email protected] David Dinn, coordinator Karyn Stone, secretary-treasurer Arizona CRC of Indiana CRC of Southwestern Missouri Ann and Michael Poliakoff, chairs Washington State 2625 N. Meridian, Suite 202 Conrad Greene, coordinator 1701 S. Fort Avenue CRC of Harrisburg/Capitol Region Jamaica Filgo, coordinator CRC of Arizona Indianapolis, IN 46208-7703 Springfield, MO 65807 2059 N. 2d Street CRC of Washington P 0 Box 454 phone: 317/925-5433 417/862-1592 Harrisburg, PA 17110 P.O. Box 222 Scottsdale, AZ B5252-0454 fax: 317/926-DINN 717/213-0183 email: Imondayedukereitcorn Arlington, WA 98223 phone: 602/970-5903 Nebraska/Iowa phone: 541/482-6881 fax: 602/970-5925 Lyn and William Huerter, Michael Nieland, M.D. president emailfilg8811@taosomedu Grandparent Rights in New coordinators CRC of Pittsburgh California Strength (G.R.I.N.S.) 460 S. Graham St. West Virginia Patricia Gehlen, coordinator Kay and Ray Berryhill, co-directors Kevin Boston, president Pittsburgh, PA 15232 Ginger Thompson, coordinator email: [email protected] 0689 CR 5 CRC of Nebraska 412/441-2200 CRC of West Virginia Will Brown, president Corunna, IN 46730 P 0 Box 45387 3706 Washington St email: [email protected] 219/281-2384 Omaha, NE 68145-0387 Rita A. Jones, president S. Charleston, WV 25309 CRC of California 402/330-3353 (voice and fax) Bill Clements, treasurer phone: 304/799-6534 915 L Street, #G282 Iowa -See Nebraska/Iowa email: [email protected] CRC of Philadelphia fax: 304/744-8657 Sacramento, CA 95860-0811 website: www.hunp.net/oma P.O. Box 11413 Kentucky email: [email protected] phone and fax: 916/635-2590 Philadelphia, PA 1911 II Kevin O'Brien, coordinator New Jersey phone: 215/849-3440 Wisconsin Colorado CRC of Kentucky Eric Purason, president Nancy Kellogg, coordinator Mark En trekin, coordinator P 0 Box 74126 New Jersey Council for Children's South Carolina-see North Carolina CRC of Wisconsin Dayton, KY 41074-0126 CRC of Colorado Rights (NJCCR) P 0 Box 452 4715 Ranch Circle 513/624-7223 PO Box 316 Tennessee Racine, WI 53401-0452 Pluckemin, NJ 07978-0316 Colorado Springs, CO 80918-4118 David Courson, coordinator 414/619-3024 phone: 719/548-8798 Maryland phone: 973/694-9323 CRC of Tennessee entail: [email protected] fax: 719/597-2218 Harvey Walden, coordinator fax: 973/443-9358 2120 Griffintown Road email: [email protected] CRC of Maryland email: DANIDOM@aolcom White Bluff, TN 31708-5207 417 Pershing Drive website: www.njeccrorg phone and fax: 615/952-2498 Connecticut Silver Spring, MD 20910-4254 email: [email protected] Mark Roseman, coordinator 301/588-0262 New York CRC of Connecticut website:http:// Kim Boedecker-Frey, coordinator Texas 48 Shepards Knoll Drive www.members.tripod.com/ CRC of New York Diana Buffington, coordinator -Indere/ 231 Main Street, Suite 1 CRC of Texas Page 26 Speak Out For ChildrenWinter 1999/2000 8 BEST COPY AVAILABLE Z, I r our Cle_21727_17I.5.6?"10_2*".5 ./

Life members have contributed at least $500 to CRC. Thank you. Stuart Cochran Ronald K. Henry Gary Maxwell Peter Sokaris Lou Adolph PNC Mortgage Corp. of Paul Alexander Maureen Corbett Robert Heisley Paul Menchetti America Asa Baber Charles D. Deckard Michael Hirschensohn Stuart Miller Philip Holman Michael Nieland Donald K. Smith Wally Babington Ralph and Frances Della Charles and Donna Travis Ballard Camera Melvin Hottman Michael L. Oddenino John Bauserman, Sr. Elliott Diamond Robert Kaleopaa Marc Orlick Stewart David M. Dinn Anna D. Keller PNC Mortgage Corp. ofRobert K. Thomas Jeff Beal Mr. and Mrs. Danielle Joan Berkowitz, L &M Wiley Dobbs George Kelly America Thu Foundation Jennifer Dumas Bashir Kouchaji Abe Pollin William A. Toto Sr. Don Bieniewicz Ted Ell Walter H. Kuckes Elina Hum Pratt Andrew P. Ulsher David Birney Robert Eisenbart Paul LeBon Deborah R. Riggs Virginia Wellington Cabot Pi otr Blass Family and Society Insti- Dennis J. Lewis Jack L. Robinson Foundation Kam il Botros tute The Levian Foundation, Paul M. Robinson Searle Whitney Dennis C. Boytim Hayden C. Fisbeck Inc. Gary Santora Johnny P. Wilson Thomas D. Cabot III Elliott J. Friedel Israel Lichtenstein Ruth Scheer Rex Wright Terry Cady Steven Glinski Robert Lipsky and Ann Brad D. Schultz Andrew Zwernamenn Robert Carey Jonathan M. Goodson Marini Mark Seymour Laurie Casey Tom Greco George R. McCasland Lewis A. Sierra Cliff Clark Thomas E. Harries Marie T. McManmon John E. Siegmund

We thank all contributors who have joined, renewed their membership,contributed to CRC, orordered materials from CRC from July 1, 1999 through October 30, 1999.

Donna Crow Dwayne Jones Mary Olesh Nicholas Soppa Juan Albino Marek Sowinski Darrell Alford Louis Daily Colleen Kavan Patricia Oluade Gregory Todd Darabcsek Rich Kavan Tita Ortiz-Tirado Murray Steinberg Dominick Amari Edward Stephens Paula Andrews Patricia Davidge Barry Koplen V Al Pakalnis Ginger Stewart David Amaudo David Davis Kurt Krusen Judy Parejko Jackie Stewart W Baker Charles DeLaney Walter Kuckes Joe Parr Beatriz DeManey Richard D Kuhn Kay Pasley Robert Stewart Joel Bankes Mary Stib Carolyn Barnes Donald Deering Pamela Lambey William Paull Bob Stien Johnnie Barnes Joann Delenick Marilyn Lassiter Arthur Popp Kathy Stone Edward Bartlett Peter Delenick Fred Lehnhoff Serge Prengel Don Ditto Renee Lennox Allen Price Pamela Stuart-Mills John Bauserman Pete Tedford Robert/Debbi Bauserrnan Rick Doss David Levy John Priestly Robert Thomas Walter Benda Richard Eberle Ellen Levy Erik Purason Dean Tong R Benjamin Robert Eier Jerry Light Christie Rakestraw Sandra Turrin Kevin Bernier Gary Ellal Brenda Lindhorst Sandy Rakestraw Jerry Vara William Bibbs Michael Ellis Leonard Lipshultz John Richards Margorie Engel David Li towitz David Roberts David Wagner Don Bieniewicz Gloria Mae Wagner James Blackston Cynthia Ewing Clarence Loomis Wendy Robinson Barbara Wagner-Steinberg Luther Bond Michael Ewing Keith Madsen Stacey Rodgers Eley Harvey Walden Byron Bonds Whitney Farr Bette Margolis Mark Roseman Fred Wall Terri Boseman TompkinsJames Fisher Willie McCargo David Gray Ross Carolyn Ward Ingrid Bough-Bell Joe Foreman Bob McCoun Mark Rowley Geraldin Washington Allen-Karla Bowers Charles Garrett Tia McCoun Duncan Roy Roxana Webb David Brasington Scott George Karen McKechnie Michael Ruminer c/o Dr Linda Gil Dan McLaughlin Weiss Daniel Webster Paul Brundage Deborah S Weiss Lynn Bruner Stanley Green Danya McMurtrey Kathleen Sahlman Richard Weiss Mary Bullock Heidi Griffin Richard Mikesell William San ti Kenneth&Beni Burress Sonja Griffith James Miller Gary Santora Alistair Wheeler Robert Whitfield Terry Cady Helen Harwager Jesse Miltier David Schmutz Jack Wiegand Mahaliah Campbell Gwynneth Hawes Cook Sylvia Miott Elizabeth Schnee Karen Wilksman Iliana Caraballo-Pedraza Robert Hedrick John Morgan Robert Schreiber Daniel Williams Marvin Chapman Ron Henry Sherry Moss John Schulte Ross Williams Bill Clemens Frank Hicks Fredrick Mueller Robert & Ann Seidenberg Anne & Paul Clements Ned Holstein Ellen Muller John Siegmund Frances Willson Lynnford Wilson Fernando Cogley C Honan Greta Murray Donna Sims Wilkie Woodard Linda Cook William /Lyn Huerter David Mysliwiec Allen Sinsheimer Glen Cote Mark Hughes Kenneth Naumann William Smith Patricia Woodruff Sandra Woolard David Courson Arthur Ignatiadis Michael Nieland Edward Soleck Margaret Wuwert Dorothy Cowling John Jolley Kevin O'Brien 85 Kenneth Solway Winter 1999/2000 Speak Out For Children Page 27 A NON-PROFIT, TAX EXEMPT ORGANIZATION STRENGTHENING FAMILIES AND Non-Profit Organization ASSISTING CHILDREN OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE U.S. Postage PAID Washington, D.C. ChiLtorR°5RiG1t5 Permit #881 *vain. ocoilicuitozrasilooRithf5

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