© Kamla-Raj 2008 J. Hum. Ecol., 23(2): 91-99 (2008) Stepparents Perception of the Factors Affecting the Quality of the Stepparent– Stepchild Relationship
David A. Adeyemo* and Grace Igaba Onongha
Department of Guidance and Counselling, Faculty of Education, University of Ibadan, Ibadan, Nigeria *E-mail: [email protected]
KEYWORDS Quality of Relationship. Stepparent. Stepchild. Families
ABSTRACT The study investigated the contributions of parenting style, communication, relationship with non- residential kin, loyalty conflict and spousal marital relationship to the quality of the stepparent and stepchild relationship. It made use of simple random sampling in selecting 400 stepparents from ten local government areas in Cross River State. The study sample responded to two valid and reliable instruments. The results indicated that the five independent variables, when taken together, were effective in predicting the quality of the stepparent and stepchild relationship. Each of the variables (with the exception of parenting style) contributed significantly to the prediction of the quality of the stepparent and stepchild relationship. On the basis of these findings, it is suggested that intervention programmes centre on relationship enhancement, communication skills and conflict resolution would benefit the stepparent and stepchild relationship.
INTRODUCTION to talking about the quality of relationship in Stepparents-Stepchild family. One of these Stepfamilies, the new emerging family struc- factors is parenting style. Parenting style ture, have been classified as a high risk setting describes multidimensional processes involved with more pathological behaviours and higher in raising children who should become useful rates of child sexual abuse than among first members of the society (Akinboye, 2000). Though families (Ihinger – Tallman, 1988). Traditionally, raising children can be one of the most joyful, remarriages and stepfamilies were formed enchanting and rewarding aspects of family life, primarily as a result of the death of a spouse; it has in-built hardships, frustrations and today the formation results primarily from divorce. conflicts. This is why parenting is often described These “remarried”, “reconstituted”, “binuclear”, as a combination of tough times, and tender “blended”, and “stepparent” families constitute moments. Parenting could be more stressful than significant non-traditional marital and family adjusting to marriage itself. arrangements that present unique circumstances Without biological link, it can be extremely and relationships. Stepfamilies may include a difficult to tolerate, let alone like a stepchild who stepfather, mother, and her children; a stepmother, is being particularly troublesome and coping with father and his children; or a mother and father recalcitrant teenagers can be a nightmare (De’Ath, joining two sets of children. 1993). Stepparents may feel that they are out on a Stepfamily researchers agreed that the quality limb at times, excluded from the biological link of the stepparent and stepchild relationship is an that their partners have with the children and important determination of overall stepfamily because of this, unable to play a full parent role. happiness. However, because many stepparent However, a great many stepparents do have warm and stepchild relationships do not have the solid and loving relationship with their stepchildren foundation created by early childhood bonding and a strong commitment to them. experiences, stepparent and stepchild bond may Perhaps, the greatest source of stress in be particularly vulnerable to family stress (Preece, stepparenting results from the fact that the step- 2004). A positive relationship between the step- roles are not clearly defined (Atwood, 1990). The parents and stepchildren can lead to positive roles of the stepparent become the measure of outcomes both for the children and for the family. the stepfamily’s development. The degree to However, the relationship can be influenced by a which all members accept and provide a number of factors that cannot be controlled. meaningful role for him/her determines how well Several factors could be at work when it comes established the family’s roles and rules would be 92 DAVID A. ADEYEMO AND GRACE IGABA ONONGHA by the immediate family members, other relatives to communication. Further, Sequerah (2002) and outsiders. explained that some families were taught to The stepparent is a new comer and many times respect the elders and to follow what they say, an intruder or interloper to an established family right or wrong, without question. Respect is only system (Atwood, 1990; De’Ath, 1993). There is shown to those family members who are older usually an attempt by an existing system to expel than them. This left no room for friendly con- a foreign body. Initially because the stepparent versation between family members. Children were is an intruder, there may be an attempt, either expected to follow their parents’ wishes whether overtly or covertly to expel him or her. This dis- they like it or not. Failure to do so often results in comfort and upheaval may be the result of children the son or daughter being disowned by the family. not knowing what to expect from the stepparent, With this kind of conditions, communication is since the role of the stepparent is ambiguous and out of the question. Discontentment and often ill-defined. frustrations are kept within the heart and often; a A study by Goodman – Lezin (1985) revealed feeling of wanting to do something rebellious that residential stepmothers do better if they grows. adopt a less active disciplinary role than their Along the same but diverse line of thought is husbands, while working toward establishing a the issue of power. Coale (1990) opined that the more positive relationship with their stepchildren. biggest communication difficulties among This is not to suggest that “anything goes” or parents, stepparents and teenagers stem from that total disengagement is the best approach to confusion over who has control over what. When parenting by stepmothers. The fact remains that power issues are confused, communication is when fathers assume more responsibilities in limit- problematic. When power issues are clear, commu- setting behaviours, the stepmother reports more nication generally falls more easily into place. marital satisfaction. Importantly, it is also known Research has been generated around the idea that that when fathers and stepmothers agree about stepparents and stepchildren relationships are childbearing issues and behaviours, stepmothers bound to be full of conflicts because of lack of feel better about their marriages (Skopin, 1989). adequate and effective communication between This good feeling can and often is reflected in a them. More so, those involved had often stressed more positive relationships with stepchildren. on the issue of improved communication Visher and Visher (1979) proposed that, (Manning and Wooten, 1987; Eades, 1996). discipline works only when the person receiving Another variable of concern in this study is the discipline cares about the reactions of and the quality of the relationship with non-residential the relationship with the person melting out the kin. Relationship with others can have a signi- discipline. These remarks touch on the question ficant impact upon the quality of life in a new of who in the stepfamily should administer the stepfamily. However, after problems with finances discipline? Who should be the one to say no? and children, couples in remarriages rank outside Experts in stepfamilies like Taylor and Taylor family (kin) as the third major problem they face (2001), Sposato (2001) and Boomer (2001), highly (Bernard, 1991). One common stress in remarriage recommend the biological-driven parenting as comes from the necessity for frequent contact practical and stepfamily specific. with ex-spouse(s). Most of the problems that arise One other variable that is addressed in this with ex-spouse have to do with children visitation, study is communication. Communication in the custody, and child support (Lasswell and Lassell, family brings decisions on certain issues, such 1991). These keep alive issues that the divorcing as productive and health decisions. This is one couple initially considered to have been settled of the important reasons why communication is in court. It is not at all unusual for divorced crucial in the family, especially between husband parents to go back to court again and again for and wife; parent and child. Communication is the post divorce litigation over such issues. Although key to any parent-child relationship and step- there many, of course, be legitimate cause to file parents are no different in this respect. for change of custody to seek increased or The role tradition plays in determining decreased support payment, or to ask for a ruling effective communication has been documented. on disputed visitation rights and responsibilities. Sequerah (2002) noted that in the eastern region Marital therapist believe that there are usually of the globe, tradition is the main stumbling block underlying dynamics between the divorced STEPPARENTS PERCEPTION OF THE FACTORS AFFECTING THE QUALITY 93 spouses that cause them to keep upsetting each by Gerlach (2002), loyalty conflicts are a special other (Elkins, 1976). kind of value conflict. They usually feel more Atwood (1990) remarked that relationships confusing and stressful than similar conflicts. between former spouses usually are not well Family loyalty conflicts are very provocative, defined, and that couples seldom know how to inflammatory kind of values conflict unsolved; respond appropriately to each other once they they are a primary promoter of emotional and legal are divorced. Even less well defined is how the re/divorce. The basic dynamic is: one person feels current wife should behave towards the former hopelessly caught in the middle of two or more wife and how the current and ex-husbands should valued people who each demand or “deserve” relate if at all. The “divorce chain” as Bohannan being attended to “first”, now. These conflicts (1970) calls it, get even more complex when the almost always bring out the deepest personal ex-spouses of the remarried couple have also insecurities, needs, and sensitivities in typical co- remarried. They form a new kind of extended parents, minor and grown kids and kin. This kinship system, an accepted etiquett for proper makes them particularly hard to resolve. Findings social relationships in such a system is non- by Acock and Demo (1994); and Demo and Acock existent (Lassell and Lasswell, 1991). (1996) provided strong support that family While there exists a good deal of information conflicts play a pivotal role. Adolescents are on the relationship between former spouses after drawn into conflicts, feel caught between parents divorce, such as how they interact and how that and are either pressured to take side or try to interaction affects children, there is little about remain close to both parents and experience how the remarriage of one or both of those loyalty conflict. parents affect the established patterns of Shame-based children who are terrified of parenting. What few studies available suggest is being rejected and left a lone according to Gerlach that remarriage negatively affect the ability of (2001), can ceaselessly demand their parents’ farmer spouses to co-parent effectively. For primary support and attention. Others are numb, example studies show that remarriage reduces the pleasant, and accommodating, believing they do interaction between former spouses around not deserve and should not expect nurturing childrearing concerns (Ahrons and Wallishch, anyway. Such kids often meet new stepparents’ 1987; Ruffin, 1991; Seltzer, 1991), reduced the offers of nurturing friendship with protective frequency of visitation between non-residential indifference, distrust, and even hostibility, baffl- parents and children (Furstenberg and Nord, ing everybody. Others can vibrate with neediness 1985; Seltzer, 1991), and reduces and the parent’s and clinging dependence. Any of these reactions satisfaction with parenting (Ahrons and Wallisch, normally create powerful loyalty conflicts in and 1987; Ruffin, 1991). Research also showed that between the kids’ stepfamily’s conflicts in and the negative effects of remarriage are especially between the kids’ stepfamily’s homes. Stepkids true when only the husband is married (Ahrons naturally wanted to test rules and authorities in and Wallish, 1987; Seltzer, 1991). their new home family to test and re-test the new Equally important is the quality of relationship couple to see “is this family safe, or will the new with grandparents and step-grandparents. couples split (and devastate me), too”? Remarriage of parents may bring new grand (Andersen, 2001). parents and step-grandparents into the live of The last variable that is considered in this children creating new family structures and needs study is spousal marital relationship. The success for adjustment. Where there are children, of stepfamilies depends on a number of factors, grandparents may have played an active role especially the quality of the new marriage. If the following parents’ divorce. According to Lasswell new spouses begin having difficulties with their and Lasswell (1991), they (grandparents) may not own relationship, that will affect nearly every wish to give up this new closeness and may aspect of family life, including how the children oppose any remarriage. They may not be able to fare (Bantam, 1999). This assertion is supported accept their step-grandchildren to the point of by the study of Brown-Brett (1993), which found causing conflict. They may interfere with already that marital conflict was a powerful predictor in touchy discipline controversies in the new home. adolescent behaviour problems in stepfamilies. Loyalty conflict is another independent Couples in stepfamilies have many conflicting variable investigated in the present work. Going forces that can weaken their relationship. For 94 DAVID A. ADEYEMO AND GRACE IGABA ONONGHA example, the healthy development of the new system that is acceptable to both parents marriage often suffers with the premature (Coleman and Ganong, 1989). It is the opinion of presence of children, as is often the case in Burgayne and Morison, (1997) that, if partners remarriages. The demands of childrearing may insist upon retaining the methods of handling distract from, if not interfered with, the money and making financial decisions that they development of a healthy marital relationship. For used in other relationships, they may experience example, time for each other is short circuited by friction with their new spouses. Tension is other family duties; every one may feel uneasy especially likely if financial problems were a and trapped (Atwood, 1990). contributing factor in a previous divorce. In addition, parents often feel greater loyalties In addition, changes in income or expenses in to their children because they have had a the family will likely affect the financial situations relationship with them for much longer time. It is of the households in which former spouses or common for each spouse to put his or her own non-residential children live. For example, children’s interest first. It is often in an effort to additional money for the children’s dental care compensate for the trauma children experience may be requested by the custodian parent at the when there is a divorce or death. But when the same time the non-custodian parent incurs the children’s interests are first, the spouses’ children expense of repairing his roof. The cost of the dental are found somewhere down the list, and this care, combined with the roof bill may present a according to Harley (2001) and Sposata (2001) is real financial challenge to the non-custodian a formula for marital disaster. A study by Coberly parent (Lowan and Dolan 1988). However, (1995) indicated that husbands in remarriage research has shown that families with a higher homes where their own children are present most income function better as stepfamilies (Engel, time tend to have higher marital adjustment. This 1998). This makes sense as having more money includes both simple blended (when only one helps eliminate a significant source of tension in partner has children) and complex blended (where the stepfamily. It can also reduce friction between both partners have children) family. While wives households, because there is more money in simple blended families where the children are available for the support of children and former hers, reported marital adjustment than did wives spouses. However, when households have limited in complex blended families. financial resources, the potentials for tension and However, Pasley (1993) opined that it is not conflict increases. the presence or absence of children per se which affects marital quality. Instead a key to marital Purpose of the Study relationship is likely the dynamics of interaction between spouses and between the parent or The purpose of present study was to stepparent and child around child-related issues. investigate the contributions of parenting style; A number of studies support the conclusion communication; quality of relationship with non- regarding the importance of spousal and parent- residential kin; loyalty conflict and spousal marital child interaction to understanding the marital relationship to the quality of the stepparent and relationship in stepfamilies. For example Pasley stepchild relationship. (1993) reported that the quality of the stepparent and stepchild relationship is a strong indicator of Research Questions marital quality. Money, frequently cited as the biggest source The following two research questions were of stress in family life, is often and even more investigated in the study: challenging matter for members of the stepfamilies. (1) What is the joint effect of all the factors Husbands and wives often have differing (parenting style, communication, relationship attitudes and beliefs about family finances. In a with non-residential kin, loyalty conflict and remarriage however, each partner contributes not spousal marital relationship) on the quality of only his or her own beliefs about money to the the stepparent and stepchild relationship? new relationship, but also past financial (2) What is the separate effect of all the experiences and established habits of spending independent variable (parenting style, and saving money. It can be a major challenge for communication, quality of relationship with remarried spouses to merge their ideas into a non-residential kin, loyalty conflict and STEPPARENTS PERCEPTION OF THE FACTORS AFFECTING THE QUALITY 95
spousal marital relationship) on the pants (stepparents) responded by indicating their dependent variable (quality of the stepparent level of agreeableness to each of the item and stepchild relationship). statements using a four-point scale ranging from (1 – strongly disagree to 4 – strongly agree). The METHOD subsections of the scale have also demonstrated a high internal consistency with Rulon split halves Design of 0.75, 0.82, 0.79, 0.76 and 0.90 respectively.
The study adopted survey research design Procedure using the ex-post-facto type. The researchers were interested in knowing the effect of the The questionnaires were administered to the independent variables on the dependent variable participants by the researchers. The instruments without necessarily manipulating the indepen- were collected immediately after completion. The dent variables. exercise lasted for two weeks. The nature of the study as well as the number of items contained in Participants each of these questionnaires accounted for the delay in the completion and collection of the The population of this study comprised of all questionnaires. stepfamilies in Cross River State, Nigeria. Simple random sampling was used to select 400 Data Analysis stepfamilies. The participants were made up of 186 stepfathers and 241 stepmothers. Their ages The data were analysed with Pearson Product ranged between 20 and 58 years. The mean and Movement Correlation and Multiple regression. standard deviation of the sample’s age were 32.6 Multiple regression was used to find out the years and 3.69 years respectively. combined and relative contributions of the five independent variables (parenting style, Instrument communication, quality of relationship with non- residential kin, loyalty conflict and spousal marital Two instruments were utilised in this study. relationship) to the prediction of the quality of Stepparent and Stepchild Relationship Quality the stepparent and stepchild relationship. Questionnaire (SPSCRQ2): The SPSCRQ2 developed by the researchers was used to assess RESULTS the quality of relationship that the stepparent and stepchild maintain, based on self-report The present study addressed two issues. One responses to 16 items. Participants responded by of the issues was to know the extent of the indicating their agreement to each of the 16 items contribution of parenting style, communication, (for example tolerance level, Interpersonal and quality of relationship with non-residential communication) using a six point scale ranging kin, loyalty conflict and spousal marital from 1 (very poor) to 6 (excellent). relationship to the prediction of the stepparent The SPSCRQ2 has demonstrated high internal and stepchild quality of relationship. The second consistency with Rulon split halves of 0.98. issue of concern was to find out the variable that Stepparent and Stepchild Relationship Ques- made the greatest significant contribution to the tionnaire (SPSCRQ): The SPSCRQ (Stepparent prediction of the stepparent and stepchild quality specific) also developed by the researchers has of relationship. The results of the data analysis two sections-A and B. Section A seeks that provided answers to the research questions demographic information from respondents. are presented below. Whereas, section B has five subsections -A, B, The results of the data analysis indicating the C, D and E. Subsection A has 19 items that assess mean, standard deviation and inter correlation parenting style; B has 15 items that assess among the variables in the study are shown on communication style; C has 18 items that assess table 1. relationship with non-residential kin; D has 14 The intercorrelation coefficient among the five items that assess loyalty conflict; and E has 15 independent variables revealed the following items that assess spousal relationship. Partici- results: parenting style and relationship with non- 96 DAVID A. ADEYEMO AND GRACE IGABA ONONGHA
Table 1: Descriptive statistics and correlations among variables Variables No. SD Quality Parenting Commu- Relation- Loyalty Spousal of style nication ship with con- marital relationship non- flict relation- residential ship kin Quality of relationship 400 62.7925 15.24995 1.000 .010 .279* -.262* -.459* -.038 Parenting style 400 49.9925 28.38135 .010 1.000 .077 .179* .111* -.014 Communication 400 43.1275 5.63032 .279* .077 1.000 .095 -.008 .172* Relationship with non 400 37.4775 6.52387 -.262* .179* .095 1.000 .443* .302* -residential kin Loyalty conflict 400 30.8250 6.74783 -.459* .111* -.008 .443* 1.000 .329* Spousal marital relationship 400 37.6250 4.89687 -.038 -.014 .172* .302* .329* 1 residential kin was positive and significant (r = communication, relationship with non-residential .179); parenting style and loyalty conflict was also kin, loyalty conflict and spousal marital positive and significant (r = .111). Communication relationship) as a block yielded a coefficient of and spousal marital relationship was positive and multiple regression (R) of .307 and a multiple significant (r = .172). Loyalty conflict and spousal correlation square of .298. This shows that 29.8% marital relationship was positive and significant of the total variance in the quality of the (r = .329). Relationship with non-residential kin stepparent and stepchild relationship of and loyalty conflict was positive and significant participants is accounted for by the combination (r = .443). Relationship with non-residential kin of the five variables. The table also indicated that and spousal marital relationship was equally analysis of variance of the multiple regression positive and significant (r = .302). Again result data produced an F-ratio value significant at 0.05 revealed significant positive relationship between level (F (5, 399) = 34.952; P<0.05). communication and the quality of relationship (r From the results in table 3, four of the five = .279). However, results indicated a significant independent variables (communication, negative relationship between relationship with relationship with non-residential kin, loyalty non-residential kin and the quality of relationship conflict and spousal marital relationship) made (r = -.262), and between loyalty conflict and the significant individual contribution to the quality of relationship (r = -.459). prediction of the quality of the stepparent and Going by the result presented in table 2, the stepchild relationship, while (parenting style) did five independent variables (parenting style, not. The results indicated that the following beta
Table 2: Summary of multiple regression analysis between the independent variables and the dependent variable Multiple R = .554 Multiple R Square = .307 Multiple R2(Adjusted) = .298 Standard error estimate = 12.77289 Source of variation df Sum of squares Mean squares F-Ratio P Regression 5 28511.936 5702.387 34.952 <.05 Residual 394 64279.841 163.147 Total 399 92791.777
Table 3: Relative Contribution of the independent variables to the prediction of the quality of the stepparent stepchild relationship Predictor Unstandardised Standardised coefficient coefficient T-Ratio P B SEB Beta Parenting Style 3.463 6.852 .064 1.502 >.05 Communication .721 .023 .266 6.198 <.05 Relationship with non-residential kin -.316 .116 -.135 2.800 <.05 Loyalty conflict -.989 .019 -.438 -9.052 <.05 Spousal marital relationship .317 .143 .102 2.213 <.05 STEPPARENTS PERCEPTION OF THE FACTORS AFFECTING THE QUALITY 97 weights, which represented the relative contri- non-residential kin) as the third major problem bution of the independent variables to the predic- they face. The findings of the present study tion, were observed. Parenting style (β = .064; t = corroborate the finding of Ahrons and Wallish 1.502; P > 0.05); communication (β = 266, t = 6.198; (1987), Ruffin (1991) and Seltzer (1991) that P <0.05); relationship with non-residential kin (β= remarriage reduces the interaction between former .135; t = 2.800; P <0.05); loyalty conflict (β = .438; spouses around childrearing concerns. The t = 9.052; P <0.05) and spousal marital relationship findings of Furstenberg and Nord (1985) and (β = .102; t = 2.213; P < 0.05). Although, four Seltzer (1991) lend additional support to the variables made significant relative contribution present findings that remarriage reduces the to the prediction of the quality of the stepparent frequency of visitation between non-residential and stepchild relationship, communication was parents and children. The result further the most potent predictor. corroborates the assertion of Gerlach (2002) that family loyalty conflicts are very provocative, DISCUSSION inflammatory kind of values conflict. If not resolved they are a primary promoter of emotional The results revealed that with the exception and legal divorce. The present findings, of parenting style, communication, relationship strengthen the findings of Acock and Demo with non-residential kin, loyalty conflict and (1994); and Demo and Acock (1996) that family spousal marital relationship are potent predictors conflicts play a vital role. Adolescents are drawn of the quality of the stepparent and stepchild into conflicts, feel caught between parents and relationship. The magnitude of the relationship are either pressured to take side or try to remain among the independent variables in predicting close to both parents and experience loyalty the quality of the stepparent and stepchild conflict. relationship is reflected in the values of coefficient The result that communication is a most of multiple regression (.307) and in multiple R – potent predictor could be attributed to the impor- Squared adjusted (.298) as shown in table 2. Thus tance of communication in parent-child relation- it could be said that 29.8 per cent of the total ship. The stepparent and stepchild relationships variance in the quality of the stepparent and are bound to be full of conflicts because of lack stepchild relationship is accounted for by the of adequate and effective communication bet- combination of parenting style, communication, ween them. More so, as De Matto (1999) rightly relationship with non-residential kin, loyalty pointed out, lack of communication is related to conflict and spousal marital relationship. The F- behavioural problems in young people. ratio value of 34.952, which is significant at 0.05, Supporting the positive impact of communication further attested to the fact that the predictive in stepfamily relationships, Horkey (2002) capacity of the independent variables could not recommend open communication as a component be attributed to chance factor. that can make members to be proud of belonging Considering the extent to which the five to a stepfamily. As indicated in table 1, independent variables contributed to the communication has a positive correlation with the prediction of the dependent variable, it could be quality of the stepparent and stepchild inferred from table 2 that communication is the best relationship. And as reported by Visher and Visher predictor of the quality of the stepparent and (1979) that a stepparent who encourages his or stepchild relationship. The result of the correla- her stepchild to talk about their feelings and tional analysis in table 1, show that relationship listens to them regularly and repeatedly is viewed with non-residential kin and loyalty conflict have positively and a close relationship is likely to negative relationship with the quality of the develop. stepparent and stepchild relationship. This means that higher relationship with non-residential kin Implication of Findings and loyalty conflict scores are inversely correlated and higher communication scores are correlated A number of implications have emerged from to the quality of the stepparent and stepchild the results of the present study. A stepfamily relationship. needs to develop a coherent sense of itself This result is not surprising. Couples in including internal rules and also develop viable remarriage rank outside family (relationship with rules regarding relations with non-custodian 98 DAVID A. ADEYEMO AND GRACE IGABA ONONGHA parents and other kin and with siblings living with survey of families and Households. Child Tend in former partners. A way of handling loyalty conflict Washington, D.C. (2003). Burgoyne, C.B., and Morison, V.: Money in remarriage: is by providing ample opportunity, time and Keeping things simple and separate. The Socio- energy for the expression of individual concerns logical Review, 45: 363 – 395 (1997). (e.g. weekly meetings, for the airing of personal Coale, H.: Stepteens: Issues of Control. From
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