Feeling the Fleshed Body: the Aftermath of Childhood Rape

Edith Cowan University Research Online Theses: Doctorates and Masters Theses 2014 Feeling the fleshed body: The fta ermath of childhood rape Brenda Downing Edith Cowan University Recommended Citation Downing, B. (2014). Feeling the fleshed body: The aftermath of childhood rape. Retrieved from https://ro.ecu.edu.au/theses/1413 This Thesis is posted at Research Online. https://ro.ecu.edu.au/theses/1413 Edith Cowan University Copyright Warning You may print or download ONE copy of this document for the purpose of your own research or study. The University does not authorize you to copy, communicate or otherwise make available electronically to any other person any copyright material contained on this site. You are reminded of the following: Copyright owners are entitled to take legal action against persons who infringe their copyright. A reproduction of material that is protected by copyright may be a copyright infringement. 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Feeling the fleshed body: The aftermath of childhood rape Brenda Downing Bachelor of Social Science (Women’s Studies) (Hons) Thesis submitted in fulfilment of the requirements of the award of Doctor of Philosophy Faculty of Health, Engineering, and Science Edith Cowan University October, 2014 1 ABSTRACT The point of propulsion for this research is my raped and censured body with its somatic aftermath narrative. This doctoral research project is a feminist and creative investigation that sought to uncover and articulate the long term somatic impacts of childhood rape as they manifest in the adult female body. I employed a multi-modal, complementary, and embodied methodology using a combination of autoethnography, somatic inquiry, writing-as-inquiry, and performance-making-as- inquiry. In addition to my autoethnographic explorations, I gathered information from other women raped in childhood, as well as information from women’s healthcare professionals. Drawing on the autoethnographic and participant information gathered, theoretical connections were made between lived subjective experience and contemporary feminist scholarship surrounding sexual violence and its aftermath, the raped material body as a site of articulation, the raped material body as a source of knowledge, and the raped material body as a site of resistance. The major component of the project was my autoethnographic engagement with and reflection on the somatic manifestations of rape trauma. This exploration, using a process I call somatic inquiry, involved a three and a half year immersion in the body-based, therapeutic and educative practice of Body-Mind Centering®. This method of inquiry was pivotal to the development of my understandings. An additional outcome of the project was the performance work, aperture. Made in collaboration with Alice Cummins, this creative piece emerged from my autoethnographic somatic inquiry research to sit alongside the body of the doctoral work as a companion to the thesis. I performed aperture to an invited audience in September, 2012 at The Chapel Space in Perth, Western Australia. Although the performance itself was not for examination, the process of making the performance was a crucial element of my research methodology. Writing and performance-making are the modes I have used to communicate my knowledge-making process. By embedding my research within a creative paradigm, I have challenged more traditional forms of social science knowledge production and dissemination whilst also honouring the ontological, epistemological, and transformational potentialities of subjective, embodied, and performative research. 2 The most crucial understanding to emerge from my research is that all rape begins with the body. My research has exposed the myriad and complex ramifications of rape trauma and has detailed how these ramifications extend well beyond the event itself. My research has also uncovered the ways the multiple manifestations of childhood rape trauma reveal themselves through the body in defiance of the sociocultural and familial silencing that so often accompanies disclosure, and in resistance to dominant discursive and psychological constructions of the aftermath of rape. My focus on articulating the body’s capacity to register and store trauma has significant implications for the treatment of and responses to the victims of childhood rape. 3 DECLARATION I certify that this thesis does not, to the best of my knowledge and belief: (i) incorporate without acknowledgement any material previously submitted for a degree or diploma in any institution of higher education; (ii) contain any material previously published or written by another person except where due reference is made in the text; or (iii) contain any defamatory material. Signed: Date: 8 October, 2014 4 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS It has been a privilege to work with my Supervisor, Dr Lekkie Hopkins. Her deep feminist knowledge, insightfulness, and unwavering faith in me and in this research have been an invaluable support. Our many supervision sessions overlooking the Indian Ocean and the creative freedom she gave me breathed life into this project and helped sustain its momentum. My special thanks to my Associate Supervisor, Dr Marilyn Metta for her belief in this project and her faith in my capacity to complete it with creativity and integrity. Her wise and generous counsel has sustained and nourished me. My enduring gratitude and love to Alice Cummins for helping me find other ways to read, feel, and move with my body. Her involvement in this project has been a gift. My thanks to the participants in this project. My especial thanks to the nine women who generously offered their stories of trauma and placed their trust in me to hold their stories with sensitivity and care. My deep appreciation to a wide circle of people, especially Regina Downes and Debbie Marfleet for their loving and enduring friendship; Julie Robson for her early involvement; Danielle Brady for her interest and support; Amanda Gardiner, the Magdalena Talks Back women, and the Riddells Creek Body-Mind Centering women for the many conversations; and Ross Colliver, Ric Chaney, and Chris Hair for the warmth of their encouragement, their insight and good humour. To my extended family, who have only recently come to my story, my thanks for their continuing love. And finally, to Jack, Lucy, and Beth, my tender love. This writing will help them understand. I would like to dedicate this thesis to the memory of my gentle and loving brother, Murray Higgs. The opportunity never presented itself and he died during this project without ever knowing his youngest sister’s story. I would also like to dedicate this thesis to the memory of Susan Teather. Her enthusiasm for life and the courage she showed during her illness will remain an inspiration. 5 Table of contents Introduction ........................................................................................................................ 8 Chapter One Philomela and me .................................................................................................................. 15 Chapter Two The language and prevalence of sexual violence ..................................................................... 35 Chapter Three What is somatics? .................................................................................................................. 45 Chapter Four Correspondences.................................................................................................................... 64 Chapter Five Somatic narratives: participant somatic inquiry....................................................................... 95 Chapter Six Somatic narratives and meaning-making............................................................................... 106 Chapter Seven Speaking of and with and through the raped body ................................................................ 127 Chapter Eight Coming to knowing: A methodology of embodiment ............................................................. 141 Chapter Nine Coming to knowing through embodied autoethnography ...................................................... 150 Chapter Ten Coming to knowing through writing-as-inquiry ..................................................................... 198 Chapter Eleven Coming to knowing through performance-making-as-inquiry ................................................ 210 Chapter Twelve Weaving the warp and weft of the aftermath of childhood rape ............................................ 224 Bibliography .................................................................................................................... 234 Appendices .....................................................................................................................

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