What If Your Daughter Doesn't Marry A
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The Ami Food Magazine COOK CREATE CONNECT The Ami Food Magazine GARDEN INSIDE 29 Av 5780 August 19, 2020 Issue 481 FOR YOUR HEALTH Sous vide for everybody! Mini Trifles + Zucchini Shells + Cheesy Mushroom Ragu AUGUST 19, 2020 29 AV 5780 ISSUE 481 Disappointed CORONA in His AND A-B-C WARFARE Meet Lydia Lanxner, Laniado Hospital’s Son-in Head of Disaster Management -Law RASH DECISION WHAT A casual encounter IF YOUR results in a cure for my DAUGHTER daughter’s illness DOESN’T A FAMILY AF FAIR MARRY A The blessing of ‘‘TOP BOY’’? good neighbors Liv481_cover3.indd 1 8/13/20 8:54 PM 002_Living481_LivingQaurters.indd 1 8/13/20 9:34 PM The best candy combo market.com and Yesss! click How to enter: / ( ) @ Win a Segway! / / Available in the | | @ candy aisle. 003_Living481_MB KosherSweets.indd 1 8/13/20 9:28 PM l et ’s Celebrate WHOOPIKIDS.COM Monsey Williamsburg Boro Park 44 Main Street 200 Wallabout Street 845-352-0822 4711 13th Ave 718-852-5411 718-853-5411 UPSTATE POPUP 5232 MAIN STREET SOUTH FALLSBURG NY 12779 646-236-7736 004_Living481_Whoopi.indd 1 8/13/20 9:27 PM Real Fruit & Vegetables All Natural No ARtificial SPECIAL Colors or KOSHER RUN Preservatives Under the Supervision of GMO FREE Gluten truug p far KOSHER PARVE Free Vegan apple veggie fruit stix COLLECTABLE GAME CARDSCOLLECTʻEM ALL IN EACH BOX FOR A FUN CARD GAME YANKY GOLDMAN 718.337.8262 YANKY Dist. by: BloomsKosher.com 005_Living481_Blooms.indd 1 8/13/20 9:26 PM 29 AV 5780 AUGUST 19, 2020 ISSUE 481 Contents FEATURES 26 Navigating the Newlyweds: What if your son-in-law is not the top boy? By Riva Pomerantz 34 Corona and A-B-C Warfare Lydia Lanxner is the head of disaster management at Laniado Hospital in Israel By Shira Leibowitz Schmidt 42 The Clean Bill: Rash Decison A casual encounter brings a cure for my daughter’s illness As told to Miriam Weiser 58 Summer Fiction Contest Week #7: A Listening Ear by Yaffa Hersh owitz DEPARTMENTS 8 A Word from the Editor 42 34 By Rechy Frankfurter 10 Letters 16 The Rebbetzin Speaks By Rebbetzin Feige Twerski 18 Parshah By Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi WHISK 20 Bytes MAGAZINE By Miriam Glick —part of your 22 My Take Ami package By Shmelke Diamond 48 Medical Minute The Ami Food Magazine COOK CREATE CONNECT 50 Single-Minded By Chani Gantz The Ami Food Magazine 29 Av 5780 August 19, 2020 Issue 481 52 Crossroads 20 By Chaya Gross 56 Our Days The rhythm of our lives 62 The Back Page By Dina Neuman Aha! Moments will return soon Sousfor everybody! vide Mini Trifles + Zucchini Shells + Cheesy Mushroom Ragu 6 AMI•LIVING AUGUST 19, 2020 29 AV 5780 Liv481_TOC.indd 6 8/13/20 9:12 PM In vogue at your venue Evening fashion by the most sought-after designers. Talented stylists to make it work for you. Shop ready-to-wear wedding dresses by designers such as Antonios Couture and Tony Ward Travel to fashion: its closer than Paris Mother of the bride becomes star of the show High fashion. Higher standards. HIGH FASHION HIGHER STANDARDS 718.635.1673 hautebring tohall the Evening fashion by the most sought-after designers. Talented stylists to make it work for you. Shop ready-to-wear wedding dresses by designers such as Monique Lhuillier and Gemy Maalouf. Machatenista Gowns Clothing for occasions and events NEW 845.554.0812 6 Yoel Klein Blvd Monroe, NY New hours: Sun, Mon, Wed: 10-4 | Tues, Thurs, Fri: by appointment only 007_Living481_SHimmers.indd 1 8/13/20 10:34 PM During the terrifying days when the When I arrived at my parents’ lost his entire family in the war, with coronavirus was sweeping through home, my father proceeded to show the exception of one brother. me a book he is in the process of our neighborhoods and the names My sister, who was also visiting my compiling. My father is a Holocaust of those who had died were coming parents, didn’t want to see these gory survivor who has taken it upon in waves, we all thought there was pictures and tried to change the himself to remember, and have no way our lives could ever return to subject. Going over to the bookcase, others remember, the forgotten normal. We never imagined that a she took out another book of my graves of victims of the Nazis who lie time would come when we would father’s, a beautiful volume feel comfortable in a crowd. In fact, a alone or in mass graves far from any Jewish community. Some of these commemorating a family hachnasas friend of mine whose daughter got sefer Torah a couple of years ago. “This engaged during the height of the Jews died during death marches and were buried by local residents. is what I want to see,” she said. “Let’s coronavirus told well-wishers she look at these beautiful memories.” hoped that by the time her daughter Others died in concentration camps and were either dumped into mass got married, not only would they all At that moment, it occurred to graves by the Nazis or buried in a be able to attend, but they would me that although it had seemed as if more orderly manner under the even be able to hold hands at the the coronavirus had never supervision of the Americans. Among wedding! It was so farfetched as to happened, what I saw was only the the documents and photos he be a blessing to confer. surface. As in my father’s case, showed me were images of piles of though the Holocaust still weighs This evening, before sitting down dead bodies waiting to be buried, a heavily on his mind 70 years later to write these few words, I went to sight he personally witnessed as a and he hasn’t forgotten those who visit my parents. We live over a mile young boy of 14. have no one to remember them, from each other (my kids once It is my father’s hope to create a anyone meeting him casually would clocked the distance), and as I was website with all of this information never know that. My father is a walking—especially on 13th so that eventually, should a Jew ever person with simchas hachaim. Avenue—I couldn’t help marveling at find himself passing th ough one of On the surface it may look as how life seems to have reverted to these areas, he can finds lists of though nothing has changed. But we pre-coronavirus days. Other than the names and locations and visit these have changed, in a profound way. And occasional mask, the Brooklyn graves. My father wants people not we have not forgotten the tragic loss streets are bustling with people, the to forget them, and to stop and say a of life. It’s just that life must go on. stores are full, and life appears to kapitel Tehillim for these kedoshim. have gone back to normal. The same The project has taken my father We must force our eyes to look at can be said for Lakewood, which I years of intensive research, but it is a the “hachnasas sefer Torah” recently visited. subject very dear to his heart as he memories in order to carry on. Rechy Frankfurter [email protected] 8 AMI•LIVING AUGUST 19, 2020 29 AV 5780 Liv481_rechys_letter.indd 8 8/13/20 9:33 PM BottomLineMG.com for us It was really hard to walk the first group session. I couldn’tinto imagine that these parents would understand have with thestruggles we our son of that, &on top I was embarrassed struggles. As the to sharediscussion ourbegan, the therapist helped us & all the otherparents shed our of shame & begin to share. It was really cathartic to let go of all the we’d been things holding inside for so long & to see that other parents struggle too.One thing the said really with me. therapist in stuck “If you change the music the home, you can change your us realize that we child’s dance steps.”It could be working together helped in a more productive way in helping I am so our family. thankful to for these groups; they are an incredible resource formy wife & I. Join MASK’s parent support groups. Have the courage, call MASK’s confidential anonymous helpline today! Mental Health, Addiction P: 718.758.0400 School Issues W: MaskParents.org TERS RA Referrals for ALL ages E: [email protected] AT D IO M Y S L I H M O A W F 6 2 0 M A P M 9 T TH A URSDAYS BE OUR PARTNER! DONATE ONLINE AT WWW.MASKPARENTS.ORG 009_Living481_Mask.indd 1 8/13/20 9:25 PM your AMI MAGAZINE 15751575 50th50th St.,St., Brooklyn,Brooklyn, NYNY 1121911219 Phone: 718-534-8800 Fax: 718-484-7731 letters [email protected]@amimagazine.org Publisher, CEO Register to Vote informative magazine. Rabbi Yitzchok Frankfurter ...when moving to Tampa more than he was originally booked for. I know he’ll probably be found innocent. Corona We paid I$1,400 read with for livestreaming interest your soarticle the I feel so bad for Chava for having to In reference to Feature, Issue 478 Editorial Weddings grandparentsregarding could the watch spider from bite home.and presumed make such a decision of whether to Our weddingcellulitis was infection. for 50 couples and it return to him or not, with her parents Senior Editor DearThey Editor: do not save money! Rechy Frankfurter cost us theUnfortunately, same as a regular my husbandbig has breathing down her back.