volume 6 - issue 4 - september 29, 2009 - uvm, burlington, vt

by ginamastrogiacomo kelly macintyre onfession - my behavior has been organic matter is broken down from its scope of the University’s current program. year.” trashy lately. So downright scan- fully formed state into soil and nutrients. When asked if they were interested in It seems that the intent is there, but dalously trashy, in fact, that it took City It’s a circle-of-life type of deal. So basi- composting in their dorm, 45 percent no follow-through. While these practices Hall to point out the error of my ways. cally, through composting, we can reduce of non-programmed student responded may be going on behind the scenes, the This Thursday, Burlington’s City Hall our waste and then reap further benefits yes. And surprisingly, when asked if they real impact can only come from the big- decided to pose this same tricky ques- from that because the soil that is cre- compost at home, an overwhelming ma- gest waste makers of all--UVM students. tion, “When is trash not trash?” when ated is crazy-nutrient rich for new plant jority of the students responded yes. If the University can’t properly dispense they overturned garbage cans in City Hall growth. That’s all fine and good, but does this the information to students, how are they Park to see how much of what was in said Every day at UVM, food waste is actually go down on campus? It would to even know where to go in order to trash cans was, well, trash. The startling picked up and transported to the Inter- seem that many students are unaware of accomplish their goals as far as environ- conclusion was that a mere 22 percent of vale Compost Facility, a nonprofit orga- the initiatives. Tyler, a freshman at UVM, mentalism is concerned? the overwhelming 53.7 pounds that they nization that’s located close to campus. and a member of the Environmental The margin of error has to be pretty removed actually belonged in the trash UVM says that on average, the school School here at UVM, said that he com- great, and at the very least, UVM does bins in the first place. collects approximately 4.96 tons of food posts at home but does not on campus, acknowledge that there are challenges to What could have possibly found it’s waste per week. This material is then “because of the smell.” composting on campus. Many products way in there? (Personally, I’m pictur- brought to the Intervale, where it is mixed Holidae Filkins, another freshman, are still being determined whether they ing Oscar the Grouch.) 24 percent (13.2 are “biodegradable” or not, and thus pounds) belonged in blue recycling bins, no one seems to have any clue about what never even make it to the Intervale plant. and a whopping 46 percent (24.8 pounds) Also, due to the high volume of catering could have been composted. goes on with the University’s disposal system, and other community events hosted by There’s the normal everyday items the University, the scheduled “pick up that often slip our minds like apple cores, and even if they did have enough, the times” for the compost is not enough to tissues, coffee grounds, and tea bags. But meet the waste produced. Thus there are there were also a couple surprises, like detriments of a composting program might pounds and pounds of unaccounted-for chicken bones. ...Chicken bones? No outweigh the benefits. trash and waste. The odor and contami- meat or dairy items can be composted - nation due to improperly sorted waste not only items like fruits, vegetables, coffee only keeps students from composting in grounds, and egg shells. with other organic wastes and turned into says that she also composts at home, but their dorms, but also keeps the University “The point of the exercise,” said Jenni- soil to be used on farmland. From the has never seen the initiatives available on from further promoting such practices. fer Green, the co-coordinator of the city’s very beginning stages, while your meals campus. “Even the students in the ‘Green Then there’s the boon of funding the Legacy Project, “was not to shake a finger are being prepared, they separate food House’ aren’t any more environmentally whole ordeal. The University currently at City Hall workers, but to understand scraps, and in some cases, students are friendly than us,” she says. “I’ve never pays $90 for every ton of solid waste they how they were getting rid of things, get a asked to dump their leftovers into “Food seen the bins around campus.” Many of dispose of. sense of what you’re producing,” she said, Waste” carts. these same students were completely “so you can change your behavior.” In a survey conducted by UVM unaware of the composting “programs” Consider that finger shook, Ms. Green. students in the Fall of 2006, it appears available. continued as compost on pg 3 Composting (upon some further sleuth- that more students would be interested Katie, a sophomore, said, “Last year ing on the matter) is the process by which in campus-wide composting, beyond the there were separate bins for recycling and composting. I haven’t seen those at all this news reflections créatif stuffé advertise for your club or organization with the american hi my name is throw me a smoke the water tower. news website freshman by ahmadsahli it’s effective, and we’re by emilyhoogesteger by bekafoley cheaper than the other guys. Hello, Could you refrain from preaching about the dangers of obesity in future issues? If I wanted to read that, I’d read the Cynic. I like it when the water tower doesn’t take itself so seriously. The article on Brennan’s was interesting and confirmed what I always thought about that place: It sucks. Thanks and keep up the good work! - Brad Barratt Sometimes reading the water tower makes our readers want to get naked and fight the power. But most of the time, they just send emails. send your thoughts on anything in this week’s issue to [email protected] and we’ll print it. the water tower. uvm’s alternative newsmag uvm.edu/~watertwr with macsmith Editorial Staff Editors-in-Chief The G20 ConventionBig groundbreaking steps were made this Roman Planski has finally been arrested on warrant out since the Max Bookman past convention concerning our effects on climate change, leaving '70’s for having sex with a thirteen-year-old girl—something that he Lea McLellan environmentalists thrilled. They sat down, agreed on a very gen- acknowledged. Polanski fled the States to avoid his arrest, and even eral basis that there might be some sort of climate change going skipped the Oscars when he won Best Director for The Pianist. Can you News Editor on, made a vague statement on their intentions to look into this believe that? They gave an Oscar to a pedophile. Paul Gross phenomenon, and that was pretty much it. Soo good!! Zombie Babies A Canadian baby born sixteen weeks prematurely was Reflections Editor Cleveland Not the city, the show. It sucks. The city is okay. declared dead on the spot, only to wake up in time for his funeral wake. Molly Kelly-Yahner He then started making weird noises like that baby dinosaur from Juras- John Boehner Swine Flu’s latest victim is Kimberly Young of Ox- sic Park, bit off everyone’s faces and ran screaming into the Canadian Créatif Stuffé Editor ford, Ohio. Young died because she didn’t have health insurance. wilderness. Call M. Night Shyamalen. I just wrote his next movie. Alex Townsend Young’s representative in Congress is House Minority Leader John Boehner. John Boehner has been an adamant opponent of Humor Editor healthcare reform. He pronounces his last name Bay-ner, but on Mac Smith paper it clearly looks like it should be pronounced “boner.” Lol. Managing Editor Alex Pinto Copy Editor Amy Goodnough Jen Kaulius with paulgross Online Editor Anthony Sweet “I thought I’d be starting.”

Staff Writers -Michael Vick. What a douche. Juliet Critsimilios Henry Kellogg “Everything must be put “We made it very clear: Beware!” Colby Nixon on the table” -Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD), chairman of the Democratic Olivia Nguyen -French President Nicholas Sarkozy, joining the rest of the in- Congressional Campaign Committee, restating a message made to Bridget Treco ternational community in a collective (and irrational) freak-out Democratic activists urging them not to become complacent with over the discovery that Iran has been operating a secret nuclear the Democrats’ overwhelming majority, lest the Republicans make Art Staff power plant, underground. Though I gotta say, if you were Iran, huge victories in the upcoming midterm elections. This statement Art Editor and Israel was threatening to destroy your nuclear facilities for comes in light of a recent 20% decrease in campaign donations to Kelly MacIntyre no real reason, where would you build a power plant? Democratic candidates, which is believed to be a combined result of the lagging economy, complacency with the majority, and alienation Staff Artists “Friday’s Muslim prayer initiative of wealthy donors because of harsh rhetoric on big business. Mike Cappuccio Aaron Lopez-Barrantes is part of a well-defined “We have survived a few days eating Victoria Reed strategy to Islamize American biscuits, a very irregular diet.” Layout Team society and replace the Bible with -Brazilian diplomat Francisco Rezende Catunda who has been Matt Carralero holed up with deposed Honduran President Manuel Zelaya in the Megan Kelley the Koran…” Brazilian embassy in the Honduran capital of Tegucigalpa. -Rev. Canon Julian Dobbs, on the gathering of 50,000 Ameri- Zelaya was overthrown in a military coup a couple months ago and can Muslims in our nation’s capital last Friday. The Muslim recently made a surprise return to Honduras, where everyone wants gathering will include a public prayer section and its stated to kill him, to play perpetual hide and seek in an embassy. agenda is to show “the wonderful diversity” of Muslims living in America and to dispel stereotypes about Islamic religious practices. And this Christian has a problem with that.

the water tower is UVM’s alternative newsmag and is a weekly student publication at the University of Vermont Our generation stands at a crossroads. As we walk through a world ever connected to a thunderstorm of news and reflection, we risk Contact Us Find Us Join Us losing the ability to think for ourselves. Letters to the editor/ Pick us up at one of these locations New writers and artists are always welcome the water tower is for us non-thinkers. General email B/H Library - 1st Floor We provide witty and sometimes outlandish [email protected] Davis Center - 1st Floor Entrance Weekly meetings opinions so that you don’t have to come up Editors-in-Chief: Davis Center - Outside the Marketplace Tuesdays at 7:00pm with them yourselves. We can’t promise that [email protected] L/L - Outside Alice’s Café SGA and Student Orgs. Office you will agree with everything that we say, but Advertising: Old Mill Annex - Main Lobby Davis Center - 3rd Floor you will respect the tenacity we have to say it. [email protected] Redstone Campus - Simpson Hall Every once in a while we will generate something that is truly thought Waterman - Main Lobby Or send us an email provoking. We are the reason people can’t Online - uvm.edu/~watertwr wait for Tuesday. We are the water tower. (depending on what your by emilyhoogesteger definition of “it is a tax” is) by macsmith Two Sundays ago, Barack Obama became the first president to pull off -ap pearing on five Sunday network shows in -EXCLUSIVE: 3 month anniversary of beginning of end of what they call the “full Ginsberg.” Michael Jackson’s funeral Why do they call it that? It’s really not -Another article on Joe Wilson important. This is part of Obama’s plan to -EDITORIAL: Are awards shows overrated? get his pitch for health care back on track -EDITORIAL: Is fire hot? Is water wet? by going directly to the press. He can’t rely on network news to cover the health- care debate on its own because, well, On TV tonight: celebrities can’t help but die every week in this country. He tried to address a joint -Biggest Loser: Pets session of Congress but some assholes -Law and Order: Anarchy and Chaos (Joe Wilson) like to steal the spotlight. He -North Wichita, P.D. seriously can’t catch a break. -“A Ham Sandwich and Swine Flu”: A Heartfelt Interview So Obama said, “Fuck it, I’ll do it live,” and forced his way into your face all Sun- day. If you weren’t still passed out from What do you think? the night before, you would have noticed Tweet/’Book/Txt us that his biggest proposal, the one he kept Our Experts Discuss the Issues: hammering in over and over and over, and join the conversation was the fact that this plan was NOT going to raise taxes. -Jay Leno’s Primetime Debut anotherloser: u guys r stupid.obamma iz obviasly raycest One problem: He didn’t write the bill. -Lame Leno Looks Lazy, Loses Love anothernotherloser: NO HES NOT!! A few days later, Democrat Max Bau- -The Hairstyle Jay Leno Needs to Succeed cus proposed the health insurance bill. -Jhjkdasjsad Fsdds Vjshd (you guys will read anything This is the anticipated bill that will, in the these days) Hey! You found the news! And Waldo! Afghan election fraud?; Earthquake in eyes of some, create decent, affordable Bhutan; Floods in Southeast US healthcare and in the eyes of others turn us into a Russian/Chinese hybrid country where we eat our noodles out of bowls of Vodka. Wherever you stand on this compost available to them. The main problem is you can visit the Dining Services website debate, and let it be known that I don’t continued from page 1 that students have little to no information for their statement about composting care where you stand, one portion of the about what goes on with the University’s as well as recycling on campus. In the bill will undoubtedly lose Obama a bunch Adversely, only $25 is required to be disposal system, as it is not publicly meantime, we’ll be living smell-free with of sleep as it makes its way through Con- paid to the compost facility, so it would advertised and even if they did have the small guilt associated with improperly gress: the tax increase. seem that the University is saving money enough, the detriments of a compost- sorted trash. through its endeavor. That adds up to ing program, cost, smell, and possible So when is trash not trash? When it’s “Does he sign the bill about $11,000 in savings on landfill tip- contamination of dorms might outweigh composted. But if it’s never composted, ping fees. However, the cost to collect the benefits. then it can always keep the less appealing and break his cam- the compost is $12,000. At the very least, In the end, it’s a draw. While the and more appropriate title--waste. g UVM is breaking even with a venture that environmentally correct thing to do paign promise of no is not even properly advertised. would seem to be the composting, it just Send us your thoughts on this article or While the benefits of composting are doesn’t seem pertinent for students, nor anything in this week’s issue, and we’ll taxes for the middle undeniable--waste reduction, creation a large enough concern for the school to print them of soil, support of local farms, and the advertise, for there to be any sizeable en- class, or does he veto feeling of a job well done--no one seems vironmental impact made. If you’d rather [email protected] to have any clue as to what’s actually not just talk trash about our waste system, the bill, wasting the last six months of our lives?” Now let’s dissect this thing here. by bsage It’s not actually a straight up tax. It’s a The mission is on the verge of failure. Insurgents have been so successful that in ing. If the Afghan people continue to feel very sneaky excise tax that will fine fami- This is the claim of General Stanley the recent Afghan elections, only about that the U.S. soldiers do not understand lies that can afford healthcare up to $1900 McChrystal, who assumed military com- half of eligible citizens turned out amid them and cannot protect them, then it is (down from $3800 in his initial pro- mand of the U.S. forces in Afghanistan insurgent threats of violence against vot- quite likely that there will be an irrevers- posal). If you haven’t spotted the inherent back in May. McChrystal, who is ex- ers. The people of Afghanistan obviously ible and unmanageable increase in the bullshit in this bill I’ll lay it out for you: pected to request that tens of thousands had limited confidence in the U.S. army’s number of hostile insurgents, and the Besides the fact that Obama promised no more troops be sent to the region, has just ability to protect them, despite America’s American cause will be lost. As far as taxes, the government can’t make you buy completed his most recent report on the ongoing goal to “make the world safe McChrystal’s request for more troops, something. Sure, it’s illegal to own a car situation in the country, and it is rather for democracy.” “We have operated in though it is painful to say so, I feel it without car insurance, but you made that grim. The Washington Post quoted him as a manner that distances us--physically should be granted. The U.S. has three op- decision to get the car. A decision you writing: “Failure to gain the initiative and and psychologically--from the people we tions in Afghanistan: pull out of the coun- didn’t make is whether or not you want to reverse insurgent momentum in the near- seek to protect,” this again coming from try now, maintain the strategy currently be born. These things just sort of happen. term [next 12 months]... risks an outcome McChrystal’s report. It is both funny and in place, or increase troops in an attempt Let’s fast forward into the future. where defeating the insurgency is no sad that McChrystal is aware of this issue to gain greater control. The first option, This bill miraculously makes it through longer possible.” while of course saving Congress and ends up on Obama’s desk to The report, which “The U.S. has already experienced many American lives, sign. Does he sign the bill and break not was highly con- dooms Afghanistan to only his healthcare promises but also his fidential and was fall under the tyrannical entire campaign promise of no taxes for never supposed this in Vietnam and Mogadishu regime of the Taliban the middle class, or does he veto the bill, to be disclosed to once again. After eight wasting the last six months of our lives? the news media, and Iraq, but some things take a years, countless dollars Baucus really put the President in a paints a much and thousands of deaths, pickle. This bill, without any kind of pub- bleaker picture of long time to learn.” essentially nothing will lic option, fails to keep private insurance the situation in Af- have changed in the companies competitive, and taxes middle ghanistan than most people anticipated, yet has not taken measures to fix it, for it class people who don’t have the bullshit country. The second option is probably insurance they want changed in the first and it is rather ironic that the only way is vitally important. A deep understand- even worse, for it likely means that the the American public is able to find out ing of the subtle political and cultural place. Taliban will gain control of the country So is it in Obama’s best political inter- about the true nature of our foreign wars nuances of the Afghan people will allow slowly rather than quickly, as more mon- is through leaks of highly secret informa- the U.S. military to gain greater support est to be the first president to reform ey is spent, more American and interna- healthcare, or to keep his integrity to the tion. That the report got out shows great from the Afghan population and slow the tional soldiers as well as Afghan civilians incompetence and corruption by the increase in insurgents currently plagu- people who elected him? In an a priori lose their lives, and still virtually nothing excuse for the mediocrity of his own bill, government, but this is certainly not the ing the American effort. However, if the will have improved since the beginning first time that a member of the American Afghan people feel that the American Baucus declared that it’s just “designed to of the decade. That leaves option three, get the 60 votes it needs to pass.” Well I’m military has abused his power and has soldiers do not truly understand who which is the only one capable of reversing hindered U.S. strategy as a result. they are and what they want, then they glad we finally know where your inten- the progress of the insurgents and creat- tions are, Mr. Senator. The report is clearly one written by are more likely to simply view the U.S. ing a safe environment for the Afghan a desperate man, and it speaks to how military as a band of outside invaders and people to practice democratic govern- much the situation has deteriorated since join the Taliban insurgents in an attempt ment, build and train an army which can don’t write the fall of the Taliban government in De- to expel them from the country. The U.S. maintain security in the country after U.S. for the wt news section cember of 2001. 2009 has been the deadli- has already experienced this detrimental withdrawal, and to simply go about their est year for American troops since the phenomenon in Vietnam and Mogadishu everyday lives. While a troop increase will don’t come to meetings war began, and it seems that the insur- and Iraq, but I suppose some things take mean more American deaths, a deeply on tuesdays at 7 in the student gent bands led by former Taliban leaders a long time to learn. disheartening prospect, I believe it is the orgs. office (3rd floor, d.c.) such as Mullah Omar are having great So where does the U.S. go from here? only way that all that has been sacrificed success creating chaos throughout the To begin with, the military must recom- so far will not become nothing more we’ll beat you up if you do country. Besides killing American troops mit itself to defending the lives of Afghan than a tragic waste. The increase must and Afghan civilians, their attacks have citizens and to understanding their beliefs produce results quickly however, for if it jk. but seriously. created a climate of insecurity and fear about the war as well as their true desires does not then it must be sadly concluded among the Afghan population and have for post-war Afghanistan. Their confi- that nothing can be done in Afghanistan, led them to question the effectiveness and dence in the American army has always and to keep our men there to die would even the motives of American troops. been limited and it seems to be decreas- simply be murder. g by julietcritsimilios

atman is awesome. Lets review. Batman’s outfit and gadgets consist of a completely black badass body suit, cape, Bat by bekafoley mobile (aka an awesome expensive tricked out car), Bat cave (aka a secret lair with a butler, Alfred Pennyworth, and high-tech computers), and gadgets that let him scale buildings and fly atop Gotham city. He also, in case you didn’t know, has a Bat boat, a Bat plane, and a Bat ne of the easiest ways to spoil a of course you have to hide the picture sub. normal conversation with an because you snagged someone else’s Batman responds to a Bat signal, which the city of Gotham shines in the night sky in upperclassman is to admit that you’re a card from one of the gym cubbies and order to get his attention and help. freshman. We just finished having the are planning on getting some free Maui An entire city depends on this man luxury of being seniors in high school Mango smoothies...kudos. to stomp out crime, fix their bed- and were able to flaunt that fact in the Furthermore, going from class to class lam, and take down their bad guys. face of all the youngin’s below us. How- you first years have inevitably come to Batman goes after said bad guys who ever, now we have to re-live freshman realize how much you’ll be walking here, pose crime to the immediate (and global) neighborhood while striving My “Class of 2013” free t-shirt is now more for justice. After seeing his parents murdered in front of him as a child, hidden than my social security card. Batman promised himself that he would fight crime to avenge his par- year of high school again where we’re considering it’s essentially the size of a ents’ deaths. What a good son. preemptively judged based on that fact. small town rather than a college campus. While bettering his community I’m sure that after experiencing a I unwillingly admit to acquiring “shin Batman does so without any su- couple weeks on campus so far, you fresh- splints” in both shins my first week as a perpowers, which makes him more men have already made some efforts to result of the endless trekking. Now having relatable and realistic than most conceal your first-year qualities. Person- endured the never-ending walk to Trinity superheroes. Batman relies on what ally, my “Class of 2013” free t-shirt is Campus and having conquered the hill you and I rely on: his own strength, now more hidden than my social security of Main Street numerous times, clearly reasoning, and intuition. Batman is card. I plan to never wear that thing hiking mountains with the Outdoor Club said to be “one of the world’s greatest again unless I get swine flu (sorry, I mean will be a piece of cake. detectives,” and trains his body and “H1N1”) and have to be quarantined in You all have the long boarders to thank mind to be ready for any crime-fight- my dorm room for an extended period of for making navigating through campus ing situation. His toned body lets him physically surpass his enemies and his scientific skills help him outsmart them. Quick wit and a brolic body. What’s not to love? When he’s not using his pow- ers for complete good, Batman’s true identity is Bruce Wayne. Mr. Wayne is Gotham City’s signature billionaire playboy who owns Wayne enterprises, an upscale company that grants great profit to the city. Wayne donates his company’s earnings to good causes, making both his real identity and superhero identity one of moral hierarchy and selflessness. Bruce Wayne also has a way with all the ladies, yet is still a true man’s man. Speaking of being a man’s man, Batman of course has a loyal sidekick Robin. Batman is so legit that he actually has someone to help him fight crime. Along with Robin, Batman’s butler Alfred Pennyworth is his close pal that always grounds him in his moral convictions and helps him stay on his path of righteousness. If you are the company you keep, Batman shows us that true friends help better you as a person and as a superhero. Batman also shows us his human side when he asks these friends for advice, guidance, and loyalty. Along with being the best Superhero, Batman gives the comic world the best enemy of all time- the Joker. While he is sick, deranged, and downright creepy, the Joker is the most greg jacobs widely known comic villain. Joker’s continual presence in the comic only furthers our love for his arch nemesis as we see that Batman always fights for what is true, right, and just in the world. Even Batman’s enemies are awesome. How can anyone compete? All hail the Dark time. even less stressful. They zoom past you Knight. g When UVM told us this summer that at 20 mph downhill with perfect ease. forty percent of freshmen would be living The thought of picking up a time-saving in forced triples, it was certainly news hobby such as this may cross your mind, who convinced you? that we had not wanted to hear. Coming but to those who haven’t tried it before, tell [email protected] home after school to an empty room and be warned that it’s not as easy as it looks. and we will publish the results in next week’s issue. having oodles of time to ourselves was There is a whole stylizing process you certainly going to be a thing of the past. first must go through. Get some phat Ray And perhaps an uncomfortable change, Ban sunglasses and a pair of some thrifty, especially after hearing personally from beat-up Vans. A couple of extra bruises a family friend that in the sixties (when and scrapes would make you look legit. UVM was in its uber groovy days) our Perhaps some Skull Candy head phones by caseycartwright cozy Harris/Millis was dubbed the name to top it off. “Scare us, Kill us” – quite an inviting As the year goes on, we can only hope elcome to Greek Life at UVM! at the end of the day, a drunk slut is going to be just that nickname when you haven’t moved in yet. our moderately irritating freshmen quali- In reality, Groovy UV became our Where girls are ladies, rush is recruitment, and whether she is in the Greek Community or not. The ties diminish, and soon enough, it will be saying the word pledge will get your chapter kicked off Greek system at UVM needs to realize that by taking the home just four weeks ago, and we have time for the grade below us to take the certainly got lots to learn. It was prob- campus. Whatever happened to the good old days of fun out of Greek life they are not enhancing its progress; beating. It’s inevitable that walking slowly hazing, keg parties, and pranks? Well unfortunately for they are only taking away its potential. The new Sorority ably a recent discovery for you first years and looking confused with a campus map while eating at the Harris/Millis dining members of the Greek community, those days are long Recruitment shirts read, “Our laughs limitless, our unfolded in front your face will no longer gone. hall to realize that it’s actually called the be a common activity. Though it’s undeni- Grundle, and that Belgian waffles are a bit The University of Vermont is known for quite a few “The Greek system at UVM needs to realize able that we may still follow you informed things. Greek Life, however, is not one of them. Here at too heavy for breakfast every day. upperclassmen to lead us to where there that by taking the fun out of Greek life they Perhaps you will soon be able to swipe UVM we are less than 5% Greek. The question is, why? are not enhancing its progress; they are next college party is. Aren’t fraternities supposed to be the guys on campus your card at the entrance of Harris/Millis The other day, I spoke briefly with a only taking away its potential.” without failing eighty times and causing a who have the most fun, get the most girls, and throw the junior who asked what year I was, and as most raging keg parties? Well, maybe five years ago. To- scene. Forget classes and silly schoolwork, soon as I muttered that I was a freshman, the complexity of the ID card is hard day, a keg will get you kicked out of school along with a memories countless, our sisterhood endless” in pink he said “You’re lucky because you are just long list of other violations. Most members of the Greek letters with flowers surrounding it. What message is the enough to figure out. On the bus, your beginning an awesome four years of your picture faces the driver. At the gym, your Community join to enhance their social lives, but that Greek Community really trying to send here? That our life, and all of us upperclassmen who are social life is slowly being stripped away by members of loving sisterhood will last forever and help us in all our picture faces away. At the dining halls, finishing it up are truly envious”. Clearly, your picture faces the cashier...unless IFC and Panhel trying to reconstruct the Greek image. future endeavors? Who would fall for this? Well I did, it’s no use feeling ashamed of being a Instead of embracing the stereotypes that we have had and so will hundreds of girls this semester. freshman, all those above us are just jeal- since our grandparents were in college, certain Greek If the members of Greek Life ever want to make a ous of our fresh start and clean slate for advisors have dedicated their entire lives to making dent in the UVM community, they need to stop wor- our unavoidable embarrassing, hilarious, g sorority girls fine examples of young women instead of rying so much about the proper things to say in front yet unforgettable moments. drunk sluts who like to party. This is a lovely notion but, of potential new members (formally known as rushes), by maxbookman by bridgettreco

respectable debate over the alleged superiority of a superhero must address a few integral categories that make any masked avenger worth his (or her) salt: Alter ego, eptember 21st marked the end of The one kid in a wheelchair is constantly home city, romantic interest, and of course, super powers. summer— and the comfort of fall has physically and emotionally bullied, the So let’s cut right to the chase. Spiderman owns the competition in any one of these cat- begun to sweep in. We’ve all settled into flamboyantly gay boy is thrown into a egories. When Spiderman isn’t out bashing heads, slinging webs, or modified base jumping classes and snuggled up in our new places dumpster every day, and the lead singer from the Empire State Building, he is living his life as Peter Parker. When he busted onto of residence, and when it comes down of the group, Rachel Berry, gets a slushie the scene in 1962, Peter Parker broke ground as the first teenage superhero who wasn’t to cuddling with our new roommates in thrown in her face repeatedly. Funny, but someone else’s lame sidekick. Parker is front of the television when we have some also frustrating. special because he is someone we can actu- free time— the one show you’re going But the rest is pure magic. With ally relate to. Years before the recent fad in to want to be watching is Glee. The title comedic timing like I’ve never seen in a superhero movies to delve deep into the hu- says it all! It will joyously fill you with the Fox show, great acting by superb actors man elements of the characters, Peter Parker wonders of song and dance, comedy, and (like the underused Jane Lynch)— this was already a human we could all relate to, just enough melodrama. If you’ve offi- show will definitely be a hit for years to not some simple, shallow caricature tacked cially sworn off the whole musical theatre come. While characters break into song on as an afterthought. He deals with things bit, fine— but if you’re interested, give every once in a while, there are choreo- we’d expect heroes to deal with, like mak- ing money while going to school. He’s not “The title says it all! It will joyously fill you with a stud, not incredibly popular with women, and not super rich. By most standards, he’s a the wonders of song and dance, comedy, and nerd. With that said, Peter Parker is the only nerd we know of who can kick (and punch, just enough melodrama.” and smash, and web-blast) some serious ass. Parker’s setting also tallies up some awe- this show a chance. It may surprise you. graphed numbers as well that surprise someness points. His home city is not some Glee is Fox’s new comedy— and if the you. Check out their rendition of “Don’t random fictitious metropolis. Spider Man prospect of Fox starting a new comedy Stop Believin’” and “Rehab.” There’s a lives in New York City, which makes him a show leaves you feeling wary, don’t worry, great version of Rihanna’s “Take A Bow” true-blue New Yorker, born and raised in I felt the same way. Ever since the cancel- by the lead vocalist (Rachel) as well as Queens. lation of our beloved Arrested Develop- a fierce cover of “Bust Your Windows” Being a New Yorker, he knows that get- ment, Fox hasn’t come up with much in when Mercedes (the next Aretha) realizes ting around on the streets with everyone the past few years— oh, except that thing her crush may not like her “that way.” else is out of the question. That might pass called American Idol (I rest my case). He’s flamboyantly gay, and her friends in some lesser cities, but anyone who has Glee is kind of like the idea of Disney’s decide to have a “gaytervention” to tell commuted in New York knows that during High School Musical except with sex and her the truth (“Mercedes, he wore a rush hour traffic, nothing – nothing – gets a little drug use, cripple jokes, supposedly corset today”). On last week’s episode, anywhere in under two hours. That’s why “celibate” cheerleaders, black humor and, the entire football team reluctantly learns Spidey web-slings. Web-slinging, the succes- well, not everyone looks like Zac Efron. the “Single Ladies” dance in order to sive swinging from building to building that There is one hot guy, though, if that’s psych themselves for the big game. They serves as Spidey’s primary mode of transpor- what you’re looking for (Cory Monteith), perform the dance during their last time- tation, is undoubtedly badass. and the star, Matthew Morrison, ain’t too out of the game, and blow the other team Another integral part of any awesome bad looking either (check up on it). away, enough to win the game. Unrealis- superhero is a love interest. And Mary Jane The premise is quite simple: high tic, maybe, but who doesn’t love football is a babe. With her voluptuous red hair (of school Spanish teacher Will Schuester players breakin’ it down to Beyoncé? course Spidey’s girl would have red hair), decides to take over the school’s Glee Besides the melodramatic stereotypes, suggestively badass name, and out-of-your- club— of which he was the star during his some of the cheesiness of the show will league persona, Mary Jane is the perfect high school days. He decides to recruit warm your heart— and trust me, their companion for Spider Man. Granted, in the movies, Kirsten Dunst’s Mary Jane manages football player Finn, whom he overhears Journey cover will absolutely break it. to do nothing except cause annoying distractions for Spidey by getting herself precariously singing REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight Entertainment Weekly praises, “Has there perched at some dangerously high altitude on some sort of platform with waning structural This Feeling” in the locker room show- ever been a TV show more aptly named integrity, all while screaming at the top of her lungs. But in the comic books, there’s thank- ers. Along with a band of so-called (but than Glee? It both embodies and inspires fully none of that bullshit. exceedingly talented) “misfits,” Finn exactly that quality.” Stories about coming Lest we forget the pork and beans of what makes Spider Man the best: his super powers. begins to come out of his shell and make out to parents, pregnancy scares, and un- Peter Parker can trace his super powers back to a class trip to a science lab (gone awry, when friends with the underdogs. It’s not until requited love are typical, but Glee makes he was bitten by a radioactive spider. As a result, he developed superhuman strength, the a sexed-up performance of Salt-N-Pepa’s them its own. Like I said, it may not be ability to scale walls, and the capacity to sense danger seconds before it happens (creating “Push It” at a school assembly when the for everyone— if you’re into Fox shows the 13 year-old favorite, “my Spidey sense is tingling!”). And there’s the webs. In the com- whole school begins to realize the talent like Prison Break or 24, this show may not ics, Parker actually develops a contraption that synthetically produces his web shooters, but (and sex appeal?) the misfits have. be for you. But if you like comedy, melo- in the movies they sort of just shoot from somewhere inside his wrists. Both are way cool. The only argument against the show’s drama and acapella covers of Kanye West Clearly there are those out there in the Marvel and DC universes who have stronger, writing could be the stereotypes. The songs, you will definitely loveGlee — the more elaborate, powers than Spidey. But no one comes close to the combination of alter emphasis on the kids being “outcasts” and crown jewel of fall television, and a land- ego, home city, hot girlfriend, and simple yet awesome powers that Spider Man packs. at the “bottom of the food chain” in the mark in Fox’s comedy programming. g Power alone isn’t what makes Spider Man awesome. In fact, it’s the restraint of power that high school world gets a little old. This re- serves as his guiding principle. In the immortal words of Parker’s late Uncle Ben, “with inforcement of high school stereotypes is great power comes great responsibility .” g rather outdated, and was totally covered in High School Musical (let’s not revisit).

at the end of the day, a drunk slut is going to be just that and be more concerned with making them your actual are scrutinized and being almost willed to fail. Infrac- whether she is in the Greek Community or not. The friends. I must say that I did meet some of my best tions are placed on anyone who says “freshman” instead Greek system at UVM needs to realize that by taking the friends by joining a sorority, but they did not become my of “first year” or puts balloons in the Davis Center fun out of Greek life they are not enhancing its progress; friends through playing icebreaker games with M&Ms during recruitment. How are we supposed to take these they are only taking away its potential. The new Sorority or having family movie nights. Don’t get me wrong, I people seriously? Only when we stop focusing on the Recruitment shirts read, “Our laughs limitless, our would never condone hazing by any means, but a little little and meaningless things will Greek Life truly pros- family beer pong night never hurt anyone either. per as a community. “The Greek system at UVM needs to realize I took the liberty of interviewing a sorority girl who A former sorority girl has said to me that the Greek that by taking the fun out of Greek life they graduated in 2008. I was afraid to tell her that I was no system is incredibly bureaucratic. It is just a bunch of are not enhancing its progress; they are longer a member of this organization but, when I did, I people who like to stand around and hear themselves advertise only taking away its potential.” was received with a shriek of excitement and praise for talk. Greek Life’s main problem on this campus is that making that decision. Everything that she loved about they need to stop being so uptight and remember that, in Greek Life when she joined, as a freshman, no longer although there is much more to life than partying, it can- the memories countless, our sisterhood endless” in pink exists. Activities that used to thrive within the commu- not be removed completely. water letters with flowers surrounding it. What message is the nity are now viewed as a chore. Greek Games used to If Greek Life continues down this road, sororities tower. Greek Community really trying to send here? That our begin with Kegs and Eggs; now sororities and fraternities should rip the letters off their houses, get a keg, and loving sisterhood will last forever and help us in all our spend their mornings screaming at people for being late tell our lovely Greek advisor to shove it. Then instead future endeavors? Who would fall for this? Well I did, and fighting over who forgot the bagels. of sororities trying to get each other shut down or frat [email protected] and so will hundreds of girls this semester. For every great thing that Greek Life does, like raising boys fighting each other at parties, we could all just get If the members of Greek Life ever want to make a money for the Ronald McDonald house, literacy, women along. Only when there are drastic changes made within dent in the UVM community, they need to stop wor- helping battered women, and St. Judes, they should be the Greek Community will they be able to become an rying so much about the proper things to say in front rewarded and respected enough to have control over asset to the UVM student body instead of being seen as of potential new members (formally known as rushes), their activities. Instead, sororities and fraternities alike illegitimate. g someone on campus catch your eye? overheard a conversation in b-town? has anything ever happened to you couldn’t get a name? was it hilarious? dumb? inspirational? that made you wonder submit your love anonomyously tell the ear and we’ll print it. how the hell does this even happen to someone? uvm.edu/~watertwr/iwysb.html uvm.edu/~watertwr/ear.html let it all out. it’s good for you. uvm.edu/~watertwr/hthdtehts.html

We used to hang out a lot in the beginning of this year On the fourth floor of Williams: I was putting in a tampon and I dislocated my knee. Yes, and in the past couple weeks you haven’t been around. I was sober. HTHDTEHTS Did I do something wrong that made you mad? We had Some chick: Wait, when did incest become immoral? a great weekend, then poof, like the ending of a beautiful I was talking to this really cool girl at some party on summer chilled by autumn winds, you have moved on. At Royall TyTy: Thursday night. She was so down to earth and friendly, Where are you, my Italian riviera? and not like all the other hot girls you meet at UVM. We Someone: There’s nothing worse than the taste of latex had been chatting for about an hour when she intro- When: that time and lubricant. duced me to her girlfriend. Figures. HTHDTEHTS Where: that place I saw: a little woman In the Cyber Café: I was leaving a party last weekend and I realized that I I am: a man had forgotten my sweatshirt downstairs on the couch. Employee (commenting on a girl complaining about some When I went down to get it, some girl was straddling bullshit): Call 1-800-your mother, maybe she will want and making out with a guy...on my sweatshirt. It wasn’t Sweet Caroline. I met you at a house party this past to hear it. just normal making out...this was rated NC-17. But it Friday. We had the same taste in music. You loved Phish, was freezing out so I actually had to ask them to get up. and the Beatles. I gave you a beer and we shared a ciga- Outside of UHeights South: They didn’t even stop, they just kind of flopped over and rette, and that was the last I saw of you. I thought you continued to dry hump. HTHDTEHTS were beautiful and I wanted to get to know you more. Freshman Girl 1: That dorm has a spiral staircase! Oh and apparently you’re a freshman... Freshman Girl 2: What the fuck!? My roommate eats all this really stinky tofu and i hate it. HTHDTEHTS When: last Friday Outside of a classroom in Williams: Where: East Ave. Confession: I am obsessed with DotA by Basshunter. I I saw: a woman Guy 1: Last night we went over to my buddy’s house. think I’ve listened to it like 13 times today, and I haven’t I am: a man Guy 2: Word. eaten lunch yet. HTHDTEHTS Guy 1: We look in the fridge and there’s a 30 so we want to start drinking, but he doesn’t have any cups. So we My new roommate knocked my toothbrush into the You were at STAR each take a yogurt, eat it, and then start drinking out of toilet and didn’t tell me until I had already brushed my And then we sat next to you in chemistry the yogurt cups. teeth with it three times. HTHDTEHTS Your name starts with A.N. but you wouldn’t tell us the Guy 2: Sweet, yogurt shots! rest of it. I went to a party, got really drunk, and ended up puking You wouldn’t show us your portfolio either off the balcony onto their lawn furniture at the end of We like art too! the night. As if this wasn’t embarrassing enough, I had lost my phone in the couch cushion and I had to go back When: Monday 10:12 am the next morning and ask if I could look for it. Where: Angell w/ Ruggles HTHDTEHTS I saw: a woman I am: a man and a woman This is my last year at UVM. I’ve gotten laid once. At Orientation. HTHDTEHTS

Your brightly colored shirt caught my attention I remember you don’t like wearing logos I like your creative stories Want to write some together? When: Tuesdays and Thursdays Where: lafayette I saw: a man I am: a woman

We pass each other almost everyday and we both smile at each other. I don’t know your name but you have very short, red-dyed hair and beautiful eyes. Whenever I go with colbynixon to see my friends at UHN, I want to invite you across the hall so I can get to know you better. IWYSB! When: almost everyday Where: UHeights North 1, level 1 The Athletic Shorts- I saw: a girl The Button-Down- I am: a girl Worn in combination with a t-shirt, these work for the gym, or even the Grundle. Worn A good start, button-down shirts I think you are a senator because I always see you at the in combination with a button-down, you’re shooting for a look that says, “I could be are always classy. This SGA office, but you might just work there. You have guy clearly came out black curly hair and are really nice! I wantcha so bad. going downtown or hitting the courts right now.” It’s the perfect look for when you’re with every intention to walking up Pearl at two in the morning and look good. This would When: every now and then be a better look had Where: SGA Office one of your buddies calls you, and says, “Yo lets ball, right now.” Plus, with the elastic the shirt been ironed. I saw: a man Seriously, look at it, the I am: a woman waist, it’s far more convenient than fumbling around with a belt when you need to take a shirt has more wrinkles pit-stop. than Alan Greenspan. You are a beautiful bio major with a flair for fashion. I It would have prob- heard it was your birthday this weekend. I wish I could ably been a good call have given you the world...but alas...I could only offer my to wear a white, grey, meager apple crisp. You are hot. or even no undershirt, rather than throwing When: every. single. day this American Eagle Where: S. Winooski Ave. special over your teal I saw: a REAL woman UVMSSC t-shirt. I am: a woman The Neon Skater Shoe- Part prep, part jock, part hipster, you now can get into any party with your wide array of tastes. It’s like you’re a renaissance man, you’ve got it all. If you’re lucky, this footwear will draw everyone’s attention to your feet, thus bypassing the mullet of outfit combinations. vanessa denino Feeling a little créatif? Wishing Vantage Point was published more than once a semester? Well now you can submit your creative writing, short stories, poems, drawings, black and white photos, and any other créatif things to the water tower’s new section, créatif stuffé. Send your submissions to [email protected] by Tuesdays at 4:00.

by stephencoteus Obvi she hooked up with him. She was with him like literally for like three n a half minutes. Well she was like really fucked up. Yea ohmygod I saw her like fall into a TV like slow mo- tion no-o-o-o-o like one’a those. No way! What a stupid drunk bitch! Some girl said she was out on the porch with him like attacking his mouth. Ohmygod she probably had her tongue like down his throat. I bet she slobbered all over his mustache ew ew gross mental image! And she denies it still like c’mon we’re not stupid just accept that you’re a slut honey. Like why does she like always lie? Seriously like she can do whatever she wants no one fucking cares just don’t lie about it.

by alexandriakerrigan i move through you quietly, unnoticed until, finally, you acknowledge my existence. our relationship, intense and everlasting, is strangely beautiful and secretive. i am. digital photograph by Gina Mastrogiacomo dependent on your breath and your choice as you graciously bring me to life. i am all that you consume. by ahmadsahli you are my creator. Throw me a smoke. not describe it otherwise. The allegories we subscribe to inside of you i move, secure and grateful You know what? Just get over here. for the time i have been granted as dreamers… do they restrain us from arriving at the I’ve been thinking… Remember those days? When ultimate epiphany? Train wreck. Ha. Was it merely an i can sense it will not be long we moved seamlessly through life, often asking ourselves and so each moment is held in the highest esteem attempt of evading a series of conventional bores? I hope if it could possibly be any better? If the passersby, the not, I’ve given into that particular allegory long ago. until, finally, i am expelled colossal statue we shared with them and the same one cold and alone, Train wreck. we fought over, were true to reality? Was it merely an Have we based this value on nothing? Train wreck. drowning. attempt of evading a series of conventional bores? Or did flushed away in spectacular swirls of lovely brown The allegories we subscribe to as dreamers… do they we really come across love in its most infant form? restrain us from arriving at the ultimate epiphany? The i will carry your name with me And just about…here! I usually trip over one of two my creator generosity of your existence is unbreakable. Lay out in magnets in my head. Crossing field lines I jerk irregu- front of me only what you can provide and only what I i am yours, always. larly in a bind set by gravity. Rest assured that this is only love, poop. desire. a metaphor describing the deformation of my train of A walkway. A pendulum of skin and bones, fueled by thought; call it a train wreck. For some reason I can- anticipation. Another metaphor, sorry. Train wreck. g

by joshhegarty episode 4 Are we doomed? We must be doomed The newscasts say we’re doomed The papers say we’re doomed by henrykellogg We must be doomed When strange evil threatens the UVM campus to the point was clear that only by finesse was I going to pass these We must be doomed of all weirdness, Oskar McGrew strives to save UVM from watchdogs. There were no other would-be guests pres- The newscasts say we’re doomed certain peril... ent outside. I attempted one of the oldest tricks in the They’re watching through our windows Right now I seek to get to the bottom of strange book to get into a party that I was neither invited to or They’re taping in our bedrooms demons made of boron that could threaten the very wanted at. They listen to our phone calls existence of UVM as we know it. “Yo, bro,” I spoke in their dialect. “My friend Joey is They hear our every breath Nowhere else is the full depth of the absurdity of the down there totally smashed, he needs me to take him Fascist wolves are at our door human experience so fully realized than at a frat party. A home. I just gotta go in there and fetch him real quick.” We’re eager to let them in mass of humanity packed into a small space, with music I spoke a little too quickly as I was walking towards the They will take our money loud enough to prevent conversation; they form intro- door and as my sentence finished my hand was on the They will take our self worth spective nightmares. The agendas of the day, the week, door handle. “I’ll be right out,” I said as I let myself in. They will kill our children and the lifetime bubble and froth over. Alcohol is added “Yeah, you betta be” was the last thing I heard as They will kill us all to the mix. The drunken meets the sexual which meets the door closed behind me and the thud of the music The cold war isn’t over the bizarre. A throbbing urge fills the crowded house: engulfed me like a warm, sweaty glove. The cold war’s never over an urge to prove the nagging suspicion in the pit of their “Apple Bottom Jeans Boots with the FuuuRRRRR.” Selfishness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves collective guts, that all their charades are meaningless. There I was. In the inner sanctum of the ultimate horror. So give us your tired, your poor, Kurtz in the Jungle could never have conceived of the Lights flashed. Bro-licious girls danced in their brogas- And we will turn them away horror of where I was headed. micly revealing attire. Bros broed with their brotorical Because this is not a melting pot I stood before my closet. I donned my Mariachi pants looks of over confidence and self-congratulatory bro- Nor a land of opportunity and sombrero. If I were to infiltrate a party at the Triple ness. Anyway, it was a brofest. I found the way down- This is America Omega fraternity in an attempt to find out if they were stairs, past where the party was happening and entered The greatest country in the world indeed behind the demon that had been created I had what appeared to be a laboratory. Mountains of glass And as the tyrants bear down on us to dress right. A wardrobe of bathrobes confronted me. viles boiled red liquid. A strange bath contraption with This is the perfect time to panic Which one should I wear? Blue lined with Kevlar? Too leather straps in the corner drew my attention. What Because coherent thought is useless in the face of evil cumbersome and although some frat parties go sour I sorts of vile, bizarre, inhuman things could be done in And that’s what this is was unlikely to get shot. Red terry cloth? I always wear such a place I thought. Evil from below that one. Leopard print? Yes. Definitely. With leopard Then, all of a sudden, the three guys who had been Far from patriotism print bathrobe and a sombrero on, people would not guarding the door were standing beside me. “Eh, you Far from God expect my true identity, but they would know that I was said yous was looking for Joey, ‘cause he has to much to Far from anything worthy of thought there to party. As I biked down, I knew an interesting drink, but I know Joey and he don’t drink,” the middle This is the Red, White and Blue night was in store. thug threatened. And we’ve got enough Red I locked my bike to a tree two houses away from Tri- I reached into my utility belt and threw a smoke Thank you very much ple Omega then walked into the front yard to assess the grenade. The tin can hit the foot of the center thug but We’re doomed situation. Going to a frat party stag always presents an did not explode. “Blasted third-rate Soviet smokebomb!” The newscasts say we’re doomed interesting situation. The door was worked by three large I cursed. It became clear I was going to have to fight my The papers say we’re doomed men smoking cigarettes They were not wearing shirts way out of this the old-fashioned way. g We must be doomed but rather showing off that they were able to spend their The newscasts wouldn’t lie time in two separate milieus, the gym and the beach. It This is the perfect time to panic Marlboro Reds. Marb Reds are Parliaments. Smoked by the preppiest of the prepsters. really tough cigarettes. Smoking These brahs, easily identified by wearing J. Crew shorts Rollies. Rolled cigarettes, or “rollies,” are for all you hipsters one is very similar to swallow- and polos with popped collars, spend their weekends who “can’t afford” regular cigarettes. For much less money ing a lawnmower. This is why playin’ ruit and seshin Ls to the face—no matter what you will get a bag of tobacco and rolling paper that will last people love them, especially frat they’re in. Parliaments generally taste like real you twice as long as a pack of cigarettes. Budget-wise, this American Spirits. girls who want you to know cigarettes if you leave them rotting in the sun for a opens your options considerably from dollar PBRs to that These kids are granola how much of a badass bitch few weeks, but that doesn’t seem to bother an entire ironic volleyball league you really want to join. It’s cool. Your crunchin’, earth lovin’, they are. Any girl smoking a population that gets its rocks off drinking natty ice. mom doesn’t know your rent isn’t actually that high. The enviro-hippies who marb red at a party is sending The other perk about Parliaments, with their extended act of rolling a cigarette is also very appealing to hipsters, smoke American Spirits. out a message that she doesn’t filters, is that they easily facilitate another expensive especially ones who like to show off arm tattoos, crazy rings They claim that these want any dude who won’t be habit characteristic of these smokers. Anyone for a from American Apparel, and just generally how dirty their cigarettes are better for able to put up with her snarky quick bump? fingernails are. the earth, when in real- cynicism, sarcastic jokes, and ity they are still “cancer overall disinterested disposi- sticks” that if put out and left on the ground will tion. However, being not magically dissipate able to tackle all of into the soil. These kids that might earn a rock the image of not lucky bachelor one caring about their ap- (and I mean only pearance or what other one) night of really people think of them, awesome angry sex. but in fact these outfits are carefully picked out: Her skirt, although hand made, probably cost $50. Her hair, giving the idea that she is a free spirit and “just flowin’ down this river that is life, man”, is washed daily in Aveda brand shampoo and conditioner. His Birks, although a classic hippie choice, ran him anywhere from $70 to $150. These kids will pridefully flaunt their choice of American Spirits, because they just wanna be one with the earth, maaaan. cat litter: by leah boccaccio, jen anderson and mac smith edited by mac smith artwork by: kelly macintyre

with julietcritsimilios September 22nd marked the Fall Equinox--it’s officially the prettiest time in Burlington. Have fun while you can because -10 degree weather is just around the corner. joesussman & brianreid 1. Autumn Leaves Diana Krall Since you by henrykellogg The Raveonettes - In And Out of Con- went away the days grow long/and soon I’ll trol (Vice) hear old winter’s song/but I miss you most by alexpinto After opening for the Decembrists at the The fourth released by the Danish rock of all my darling/when autumn leaves start Flynn, I had the privilege to interview duo. Music infused with lo-fi distorted to fall If you’re from England, feel free to call Indie music cult favorite Laura Veirs who guitars and cutesy noise pop melodies. this old news, but for most UVMers the has with her band, the Hall of Flames, For Fans Of: The Pains of Being Pure At 2. September Earth Wind and Fire Ba de drum ‘n’ bass/hip-hop/jungle production been touring with the Decembrists pro- Heart ya/say do you remember/ba de ya/dancing team Two Fingers will sound as fresh as moting her new album July Flame, which in September/ba de ya/never was a cloudy the first morning toke. will be released in January. Ramona Falls - Intuit (Barsuk) day Their full-length dropped months ago The first solo release by Menomena lead (also called “Two Fingers”) and there are WT: How long are you going to be on the singer Brent Knopf. Rock tunes filled with 3. Autumn Sweater Yo La Tengo We some great tracks—real original stuff, road with the Decembrists? layers by over 35 guests including Mirah, could slip away wouldn’t that be better/ not just stolen beats remixed with other LV: Three and a half weeks. The Hello Sequence, and Loch Lomond. me with nothing to say/and you in your stolen beats. Think the heavy, industrial WT: Why do you do it, what makes you For Fans Of: Menomena autumn sweater chaos of British electronica coming to want to be a musician? visit Montreal (actually where it came LV: Well, the short answer is infinite These United States - Everything Touch- 4. Harvest Moon Neil Young But now it’s together) and butting heads with the growth. es Everything (United Interests) getting late/and the moon is climbin high/I minimalist power of American hip- WT: How long have you been playing Alternative, folk, country rock. This is want to celebrate/see it shinin’ in your eye hop. Dope, right? And perhaps most music for? their third release in the past two years. impressive of all, the rappings of guest LV: Well, since I was 19 and I’m 35 now, They have a fun bar band sound. 5. Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground MC’s Sway, Ms. Jade, and Ce’Cile sit so however long that is. For Fans Of: Wilco The White StripesWell any man with a comfortably on top of the dense music, WT: I know you’re From Portland, microphone/can tell you what he loves the not sounding pasted on awkwardly as an Oregon, so what do you think of the East Vivian Girls - Everything Goes Wrong most/and you know why you love at all afterthought (something that happens Coast? (In The Red) to lyrics too often in hip-hop-influenced LV: It’s much more reserved and uptight Sophomore album from three Brook- 6. Autumn Fallin’ Jaymay I believe it was dance music). The track “Doing My Job” here. (laughs) But the West Coast has lyn garage girls on In The Red. Cleaner, you/who I wanted to be talking to/and I features the sultry words of the Philly drawbacks, too. It’s a lot more hipsterish darker, and more ambitious than their believe we were friends/and I believe we native Ms. Jade, and is unbearably hot— out there. debut. will be again think a female-voiced “Wait,” with a very WT: Where is the best place to listen to similar bass-drop beat but without the your music? 7. When The Leaves Come Falling creepy Ying Yang Twins. LV: In the belly of a ship at sea. Down Van Morrison And as I’m looking But check out the LP at your leisure, at the color of the leaves in your hand/as because the only thing your crowded we’re listening to Chet Baker on the beach basement will need is the 25-minute music writers wanted in the sand Two Fingers mix available on the Paper Bag Records website (paperbagrecords. Are you the one always hogging 8. Autumn in New York Billie Holiday com/downloads/twofingers25minmix). Dreamers with empty hands/they sigh for It’s just a promotional thing but it has a the laptop at all your friend’s parties? exotic lands/its autumn in New York/its bunch of bootleg stuff that’s not on the LP, Does your library rival Bailey Howe? good to live again and some fun recognizable top40 rap re- Do you like to write about da music? mix stuff that everyone loves. GET IT.n Contact us at [email protected]. 9. Wake Me Up When September Ends We’re looking for writers who know their stuff and aren’t too Green Day Ring out the bells again/falling from the stars/drenched in my pain again/ elitist to keep their favorite bands to themselves. becoming who we are