Valentine's Week Issue!

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m a g a z i n e Valentine’s Week Issue! FEBRUARY 11, 2008 Volume 8, No. 8 5 dolls and dolphins FIRST shira bender Shira thinks about the ultimate LOOK expression of unrequited love. 11 S.e.p.t.a. Erica Tobin Erica braves mass transit for purely – well, almost purely - unselfish reasons.

photo spotlight: hug fairy 8 shelby prindaville

It’s a branded world out there 9 michael field Michael goes to war against ads and tries to survive in our brand-name culture.

Review: in rainbows 12 steve waye Steve listens as Radiohead breaks down musical and marketing boundaries.

Comic: glass Half Empty 12 Dan Markowitz

photo spotlight: bath at night 14 Michael sall

crossword: valentine’s day 16 The editors

cover Cartoon: yue wu

Contact Contributors Ed i t o r -i n -Ch i e f : Mi c h a e l Sa l l • Ed i t o r s : T i m Po t e n s , Be n n y La i tm a n , Er i c a T o b i n , Da n De u ts c h • Ch i e f De s i g n Ed i t o r : Ch a r l i e Is a a c s • Ch i e f Ar t Ed i t o r : Da n Ma r k o w i t z • We b m a s t e r : T i m Po t e n s • Bu s i n e s s Ma n a g e r : An n a FIRST CALL, Ke l l y Wr i t e r ’s Ho u s e To l m a c h • Distribution Ma n a g e r : Va l e r i a T s y g a n k o v a • Tr e a s u r e r : Ra c h a e l Hu t c h i n s o n • Fe a t u r e s Ma n a g e r : Ka t h y 3805 Lo c u s t Wa l k , Ph i l a d e l p h i a , PA 19104 Wa n g • Re c r u i t m e n t Ma n a g e r : Ri v k a Fo g e l • Ma r k e t i n g Ma n a g e r : Ju n Pa r k • Ar t i s t s : Da n Ma r k o w i t z , Yu e Wu www .f i r s t c allmagazine .c o m Co l u m n i s t s : Sh i r a Be n d e r , Er i c a T o b i n • Wr i t e r s : Mi c h a e l Fi e l d , St e v e Wa y e f cp a p e r @g m a i l .c o m Ph o t o g r a p h e r s : Sh e l b y Pr i n d a v i l l e , Mi c h a e l Sa l l • La y o u t Ar t i s t s : Va l e r i a T s y g a n k o v a

2 FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 LETTER FROM THE EDITORS Dear Lovers and Haters, no pink or red clothing items in sight, Welcome to the first First Call don’t stress. But don’t call one of those EDITORIAL Valentine’s Week issue. Now, most lame depressed people hotlines either. of my FC team here would fall into (If there was a jkjkjkjkjk smiley face, POLICY the second half of my addressees: the I would be inserting one here.) Read snarly haters who believe that the First Call instead and listen to some First C all is t h e u n d e r g ra d u at e glass is half empty and the sun won’t Radiohead (see Steve’s review). It is m a g a z i n e o f t h e Un i v e rsit y o f come up tomorrow. That is, in fact, okay if no one else loves you, because Pe n n s y l v a n ia p u b lis h e d e v e r y the reason behind our issue title: Val- we do. And we are better than every- entine’s Week. one else anyway. o t h e r Mo n d a y . Ou r m issi o n As it seems, most of the First Call So now that we have poured our is t o pr o v i d e m e m b e rs o f t h e team believes that Valentine’s Day hearts out to you, read on. Don’t leave c o m m u n it y a n o p e n f o r u m f o r has become way overblown and far us unrequited in our lovin’. We are a too big of a deal. Too C-O-M-M-E- fun-loving bunch of writers - not so e x pr e ssi n g i d e as a n d o pi n i o n s . R-C-I-A-L. Too much branding (see much of a Romeo-and-Juliet-killed- To t h is e n d , w e , t h e e d it o rs o f Michael’s article). They say it’s not a themselves crowd. It’s not like read- irst all ar e c o m m itt e d t o a day anymore; it’s a week. An expen- ing us is hard work. Our articles rock, F C , sive week. A stressful week. A useless and you know it. p o lic y o f n o t c e n s o ri n g o pi n - week. Speaking in extremely vague And in this issue we tackle new, i o n s . Articl e s ar e pr o v i d e d b y electoral terms, the majority of the modern, racy issues. Like interspe- FC team hates Valentine’s Day. They cies relationships (see Shira’s article). r e g u lar c o l u m n ists a n d w rit - really hate it. Seriously, no one else on campus will e rs . Th e y ar e c h o s e n f o r p u b - But, they aren’t here to introduce teach you about that. Maybe the Bio licati o n b as e d o n t h e q u alit y you to Valentine’s Day — I am. You Department, but they definitely won’t might be on a suicide watch list if they be as entertaining. You might even o f writing, a n d , in t h e cas e o f were. So we, the real lovers of Valen- sleep through their version. c o m m e n tari e s , t h e q u alit y o f tine’s Day, aren’t going to talk about If Valentine’s Day was like Christ- ar g u m e n tati o n . Ou tsi d e o f t h e all of those “we hate Hallmark” cynics. mas, not reading First Call would leave Instead, we will chat about Valentine’s you with lots of coal in your stocking. editorial a n d o t h e r editorial Day’s fabulosity. Yes, fabulosity. Maybe we can work something out c o n t e n t , n o articl e r e pr e s e n ts On Valentine’s Day, everyone can with Godiva. “You’ve been naughty, t h e o pi n i o n o f irst all its wear pink and red from head to toe. now you get coal in your chocolates.” F C , How many other days can you do that Eww. As I have already established, editorial b o ar d , o r i n d i v i d u al without looking like an Easter Bunny? we here at FC are real lovers. Don’t m e m b e rs o f First Call o t h e r Okay, you might still look like an Eas- make us go all doom and gloom be- ter Bunny, but people can’t poke fun cause we have to punish you. t h a n t h e a u t h o r . No c o n t e n t at you for it. If they do, send them my in First Call u n l e ss o t h e r w is e way. I’m tough, you know. (See the Lots of lovin’ from the glass-half-full stat e d r e pr e s e n ts t h e o fficial SEPTA article inside this issue.) side of FC, If you are miserable and alone in Erica Tobin p o siti o n o f t h e a d m i n istra - your room because there are absolutely Editor ti o n , fac u lt y , o r st u d e n t b o d y at lar g e o f t h e Un i v e rsit y o f Pe n n s y l v a n ia . There are 3 things firstcallismFirst Call will never joke about: the Underground Railroad, s u p p o r t e d b y t h e k e l l y Terrorists, and Michael Jordan. w r i t e r s h o u s e

FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 3 4 FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 DOLLS & DOLPHINS How to make your interspecies marriage work! Or not.

S haron and Cindy are in love. Sharon is a 43–year-old Jewish millionaire from London. Cindy is a 35-year-old resort performer from Eilat, Israel. They had a 15-year romance before getting married in 2005, during which time Sharon often traveled to Israel to visit her sweetheart, according to the Israeli newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth. Oh, and Cindy is a dolphin. At the wedding ceremony, Cindy’s trainers threw her some mackerel, after which Sharon herself jumped into the water to swim with her new husband. Sharon says she is not a pervert. In fact, she claims to be “the happiest girl on earth”. Only time will tell if Cindy is in fact the happiest Delphinidae. Interspecies marriages. Kind of makes you wonder what the whole institution of marriage is really about. There are many in this country who would say that Sharon and Cindy are just as “married” as any gay or lesbian couple would say

FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 5 of themselves. There are those who humans who have sex for fun? Adds stories, and things get a bit more... would say that they are just as “mar- a whole other sick layer to this story, intense. Take Terry and Lucy for in- ried” as any man and woman could doesn’t it? stance: “I have had my Lucy (shes a be. If marriage is strictly a legal con- The patrons of www.marryyour- yellow lab) for 3 years. She is the best tract, then it’s up to your government pet.com certainly believe that love is thing that ever happened to me. We whether you are in fact bound ‘till all you need. The site itself has a kind love going for long walks and fetch- death. If it’s a spiritual thing, then of joking quality to it: the front page ing the bone. I was married until maybe your local deity has to call the reads, “So you’ve found your partner Lucy came along. My wife met my shots. And if it’s just about “love” in for life, only thing is - he’s an animal. needs, but she was nothing compared all its pink, red, chocolaty, mushy Not just that he leaves hair in the to my little Lucy.” I don’t even want glory, then Sharon and Cindy will in- bath and has abominable table man- to think about what kind of “needs” deed be swimming side by side for all ners, but that really he’s an animal, little Lucy was meeting better than of eternity. i.e. with feathers, scales or whatnot.” his wife could. And did you know that dolphins But then you get to the section And then there’s Jacob and Sally are the only mammals other than where people can post their own love McMan: “I went to Petco around a year ago when I was looking through the hamster section. I’ve always wanted a hamster, I didn’t know I’d be finding the love of my life. Jacob was in the wheel, working out. He’s a strong little guy; very buff and has I’m not just a great body. I’d given up on men. No one ever loved me! And I loved so much! But no man ever said he loved me or cared for me or told me writing to I was amazing... So when I gave up on men, I became lonely and bought Jacob. Jacob is a grey hamster. ..We judge these have fallen in love and I am about to propose soon. He has given me love no man could ever give! I know he can’t say it, but I know he wants to, people, al- he thinks I’m beautiful and amazing! He loves me, and boy do I love him!” though I do Well, at least he’s got a great body. But these people have found happiness, right? Isn’t that all that have my own really matters in this cold hard rat race of ours? To find a warm beating heart to sleep next to at night? Actually, scratch that. There are qualms with those who don’t even need the beating heart thing – they have found love in inanimate objects, a phenom- using ani- enon that was recently investigated in a BBC documentary, “Love Me, Love My Doll.” The movie follows the lives of a group of men who have mals for… fallen in love with their $10,000.00 life-size “real dolls.” The dolls are made to the buyers’ specifications, “ from eye color to cup size to down- untoward there hair color and consistency. At first you might think of them as glorified sex toys, but after watching purposes. these men literally groom, change, bathe, and cook for their dolls, I’ve started to question the whole unre- 6 FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 ” quited love thing. I mean, if it really hurts that much to be in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, then how do these men get by? Their women don’t even have a pulse. At first you When it comes down to it, most people believe that love must go both ways. If you love someone who might think of doesn’t love you back, then you are someone to be pitied and hopefully empowered to leave the relationship. And if you love someone who them as glori- can’t love you back, like your pet or your doll, then you are immediately labeled as a bit off-kilter, if not certi- fied sex toys, but fiably insane. “ But I’m not just writing to judge these people, although I do have my own qualms with using animals after watching for...untoward purposes. Rather, my point is to consider their actions in terms of what it really means to be happily in love. Can a relationship these men literal- really ever be truly happy if it is a completely selfish existence? Let’s say I love my cat, and I convince my- ly groom, change, self that my cat loves me back. Then, haven’t I done this entirely for my own pleasure? I may believe that my cat is also gaining from the relation- bathe, and cook ship (beyond his food and scratchy post thing), but unless I truly am clinically insane, I have to know and understand deep down that my cat for their dolls, I’ve does not and cannot love me the way that human beings love one another. That’s nothing against cats - they started to ques- just don’t have the upper brain func- tion. And if you’re one of those be- lievers in cat souls, then fine, use the doll example instead. A doll cannot tion the whole love. Simple as that. A man in a relationship with a doll is in it entirely for his own happiness. And maybe he’s actually happier than the man unrequited in a relationship with a live woman who doesn’t love him back – at least this way he doesn’t have to deal with love thing. feelings of inadequacy. But really, they all say it right there in the documentary that they are happier with their dolls than they’ve ever been good a day (editor’s note: week) as I guess this is all just a roundabout with real women. They are happier any to recognize how lucky we are way of saying: don’t take people for to not have to actually give anything to love people who have their own granted. Because the next time your of themselves to another person. Or agendas and lives and hopes and pet is giving you that sexy “I want so they say. I don’t buy it. dreams. They don’t exist for our you” look, he’s probably just asking If these people can teach us any- pleasure; they’re not our dolls and for food. And that’s it. FC thing, it’s to appreciate the human- dolphins. We’re just lucky enough ity of the people we love. I know that to have bumped into them, to get to Shira Bender is a senior in the College. sounds cliché, but Valentine’s is as know them, and to be close to them. You can write to her at shiratb@sas. FIRST CALL ” Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 7 photo spotlight: Hug Fairy, Shelby Prindaville

Shelby Prindaville is a senior in the College. You can write to her at shelbyp@sas.

8 FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 It’s A Branded World Out There Surviving the Advertising Onslaught Michael Field

was browsing newsstands the other Ford’s next adventure as the in-over- zine was filled with failed attempts at Iday looking to supplement my fix of his-head professor and archeologist. political humor and essays on spoiled, The New York Times, Sports Illustrat- I bought the magazine and head- wealthy, European royalty. ed, and the final issue of Y: The Last ed home, my journey for nighttime It was then that I came to a grim Man when my eyes happened across reading successful. I settled in and, realization. Vanity Fair isn’t about a glorious sight. The February issue of with a madman’s fervor, began to dive the articles, but rather the hundreds Vanity Fair sported a cover adorned into the magazine. of pages of advertisements. To get by Harrison Ford wearing a classic fe- Slowly, page by page, my enthu- to the articles in the magazine I was dora hat, brown leather jacket, and a siasm lessened. It wasn’t until page forced to flip through page after page bullwhip. 58 that I found the first article, a less- of designer ads flouting pictures of The cover loudly proclaimed, than-satisfying letter from the editor. half-dressed celebrities sporting ei- “INDY’S BACK!” and I immediately The real first article of the magazine ther ball gowns or underwear. picked it up. After growing up on a did not begin until page 96. While You might think I’m being a bit steady supply of Star Wars and Indi- the Indiana Jones article was satisfy- over the top here, but let me take you ana Jones, I was ready for Harrison ing, albeit brief, the rest of the maga- on a little walk through the beginning

FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 9 of this magazine. When you open it stead of majoring in Cinema Studies being about wasn’t my experience with up you are immediately assaulted by I had to switch to Wharton - no, to a Vanity Fair, which I’ll never repeat, ads for Emporio Armani, Estée Laud- dual-degree program. It would be a but rather a brand-name lifestyle. It er, Gucci, Christian Dior, Saks Fifth dual degree of Political Science and has permeated our society so deeply Avenue, Louis Vuitton, and Prada. Business. With a minor in Legal Stud- that it has become impossible to es- It continues unhindered like this for ies. Then, when I make six-figures cape. In 1997, over 200 billion dollars more than 20 pages before you finally my first year out of an Ivy League law were spent on advertising. It is become across the table of contents. The school, I can return to King of Prus- cause of this that now, when you buy a barrage of ads then continues in the sia and spend the four-thousand dol- shirt with a Nike swoosh or a Lacoste vain hope that one of them will rise lars needed to buy that one coat that I alligator on it, you are not only buying above the rest and convince you to didn’t even like that much. a piece of clothing but also a lifestyle. spend absurd amounts of money on But you don’t even need to travel We are all living it now. That’s why perfume or clothing. all the way to King of Prussia to come we’re at Penn, why your neighbor is Reading this issue of Vanity Fair to the same conclusion that I did. A in Wharton, and why you are going to reminded me of a similar experience trip down Walnut St. will suffice. In law school. last semester. I had just attended a the course of a simple afternoon, one It is with this in mind that I urge panel run by Career Services entitled could easily spend hundreds of dollars you: fight against brands. Ignore the “Major In What You Love.” After the after stops in Starbucks, Gap, Barnes advertisements, the slow movement of panel I was psyched for my Cinema & Noble, and American Apparel on your hand being drawn to your wallet, Studies major, which would allow me the way to or from classes. and the smug Wharton student who to be happy the rest of my life even if The saddest part of all of this is lives in the dorm room next to yours. I was waiting tables in L.A. hoping that even in a piece deriding the abun- Major in what you love and get your someone would discover my over- dance of advertising and brand labels medium-wage job regardless of what looked screenplays. in every aspect of our lives at Penn, post-undergraduate education any- Then I took a trip to King of Prus- I still couldn’t help but drop brand one else thinks you should get. sia mall. names left and right throughout the Either that or go to law school. It was somewhere between La- article. I make fun of Vanity Fair for After all, that’s my plan. FC coste and Burberry (so around Cart- front-loading the magazine with ads, ier, Tiffany’s, Armani Exchange, and while at the same time I name drop Hugo Boss) that I realized I couldn’t brands all through my firstsentence . Michael Field is a freshman in the College. live that sort of life to be happy. In- I guess what this article ended up You can write to him at fieldmb@sas. I love the beach, but I wish I was at First Call...

Come to our next meeting, Tuesday, Feb. 12th at 8pm in the Harnwell (HRE) upper lobby.

10 FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 S.e.p.t.a. super exceptional people take A-Train Erica Tobin: To-Bin Or Not To-Bin might seem tough. I might seem is underground. If you ask me, all than ten dollar cab rides. I’m also Ilike the kind of person who picks things underground are sketchy. Ex- saving my life; the locked cab doors fights and makes people shake in their cept the Underground Railroad. But, convinced me of that fact. boots with one icy glare. I might seem let’s ignore that exception to the rule. Most importantly, though, I am so tough that you’d imagine people Before taking SEPTA, I had seen saving the world! (Insert goofy high cross to the other side of the street lots of creeps. The difference now five here.) That’s right. I am keeping when they see me. (Well, that is, if with SEPTA was that I wasn’t locked the air clean with my newfound love pink lip gloss and pastel sweaters re- in a vehicle with those creeps. So, I of mass transit. At least this was my ally freak you out.) But I’ll let you in braced myself for my first real SEPTA initial grandiose belief. So I checked on a little secret: I actually the facts. have an inner wimp. As it turns out, the This inner wimp has Environmental Protection been taking a real hold of Agency estimates that traf- one particular aspect of my fic jams alone waste nine life lately. Here’s a clue: billion gallons of gas a year. it’s not a bird or a plane… I’m a gas-saving commuter it’s SEPTA. A girl can only now. WOOT! Further- walk so far when she is more, the UrbanPlanet In- wearing five inch heels. stitute estimates that every I’ll be the first to admit one dollar invested in pub- that I thoroughly enjoy our lic transportation projects “Penn Bubble.” Not to slap generates between four too much praise on our su- and nine dollars in local per campus, but all of the economic activity. So, you essentials are here. Star- see, I’m investing in our bucks? We have two, or City of Brotherly Love and three. Breakfast? Au Bon avoiding crazy locked-door Pain muffins rock my world. drives when I take SEPTA. Real food, with a little less I understand the urge sugar? Check. Clothing to stay within the comfy stores? I didn’t leave the confines of our “Penn Bub- “Bubble” until recently, and ble” as much as anyone. I haven’t had to run any er- And those of you who al- rands naked yet. Speaking ready take SEPTA have my of running… Pottruck Gym, permission to laugh at me people! (even though I am now of- Well, this semester I found myself trip. I headed over to Fresh Grocer ficially tough because I use SEPTA). going downtown more and more of- and bought my tokens - cash only. But, if you don’t already take ten. I also found my cab drivers be- Looking back, it seems so simple. I SEPTA, I suggest that you try it out. coming increasingly weird. (Red eyes, buy tokens all the time now. At that You’ll feel so accomplished. You’ll fi- scary radio, and locked doors. There time, however, I was sure that I was nally be able to tell the SEPTA survey were no real issues, but I felt like my about to die. I could see the newspa- people on Locust Walk that you do use luck was bound to run out eventually.) per headlines: “Student SEPTA Ride SEPTA. You will sleep like a baby at I thought about SEPTA. I know most Takes Turn for the Worst.” night because you know you are sav- Penn kids don’t think safety and then I trembled the whole way to the ing Mother Earth. And (chances are) immediately think of SEPTA, but subway station. Then, I used a token. you won’t end up being the material trust me. If you met my cabdrivers, I waited for the subway. I made it for that dreaded headline on the front you too would suddenly think “SEP- down to Center City alive and in one page of the Inquirer. TA = safety.” piece. It was fabbuloousss. Fingers crossed. FC There is only one problem. My I am a SEPTA junkie now, and past experiences with SEPTA have also I’m okay with it. I’m saving my pen- Erica Tobin is a junior in the College. included creepy people. Plus, SEPTA nies; SEPTA tokens cost much less You can write to her at ericamt@sas.

FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 11 REVIEW: In rainbows The Defining Work of a Band That Will Define Our Generation Steven Waye s a rule, few events arouse ex- Acitement within the hipster community. It’s cool not to care, unless it means caring about something that has no right being cool. Like androgyny. And soccer. With this in mind, the frenzied flocking of the indie masses to the internet this past October to get their ears on In Rainbows, Radiohead’s most recent offer- ing of sonic wizardry, was truly an event worth taking note of. It was a virtual Woodstock of sorts for a 21st century audience, with hippies and hal- lucinogens being replaced by hipsters and hard-drives, and the crashing of InRain- bows.com speaking just as loudly as Arlo Guthrie’s now-famous proclama- tion “The New York State Thruway’s closed, man.” Yet at this point in their career, Radio- head can no longer be dismissed simply as the darling of a niche group of scenest- ers. The rousing commercial success mass appeal is of Radiohead’s outside-the-industry such that they have become release is clear evidence of much more an embodiment of the independent than a sporadic burst of enthusiasm by ethos: become universally adored an alternative audience. Radiohead’s by selling out to no one but your-

Dan Markowitz is a freshman in Engineering. You can write to him at idaniel@seas and visit his website at http://defectivity.comicgenesis.com.

12 FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 self. The band’s airplay has stretched with all the great inconsistencies of ENTRY LEVEL HR POSITIONS far beyond grungy coffeehouses and life by treating them exactly as they @ GOLDMAN SACHS dusty basements. The estimated pro- are, joyful and melancholy and beau- Advantage Human Resources is seeking liferation (1.2 million downloads the tiful and confusing and wildly celebra- candidates for entry level HR positions at Goldman Sachs. The individual who fills day after its release, according to a tory all at once. Greenwood’s versatile this position will be employed full-time pitchforkmedia.com report) of their guitar work perfectly supports Yorke’s by Advantage Human Resourcing, and assigned to work with Advantage clients. free-of-charge internet release sup- falsetto as he strains at the edges of a Your assignment will be at Goldman ports this claim. I’ve made Radio- universally human feeling of existen- Sachs. In that capacity, available positions head devotees of Classic Rock junk- tial angst, and the ensuing tension is include: ies, hardcore aficionados, and Justin enough to make the listener simulta- ● Campus/Diversity Recruiting Coordinators Timberlake fans alike. And it’s not as neously renounce life completely and ● Training Coordinators if Radiohead were exactly hurting for fall in love with it all over again. If interested, please email resume to popular or financial success before In [email protected] with “HR-GS” in the Rainbows, their seventh full-length Track 1: subject line release. Despite their artistic mean- 15 Step – Thom and the boys come derings, they have enjoyed a wide base back kickin’ on the opening track, an of support ever since the release of the open invitation to the manic dance critically acclaimed OK Computer in party running through Yorke’s head. 1997. So what is it about Radiohead, despite the band’s decidedly pioneer- Best line: ing sound, that allows them to achieve “You used to be alright, what hap- such widespread adulation? pened? Did the cat get your tongue, In reference to the lyrical content did your string come undone, one by on the new album, frontman Thom one?” Yorke says, “It’s about that anonymous Submit fear thing, sitting in traffic, think- Track 2: ing, ‘I’m sure I’m supposed to be do- Bodysnatchers – Greenwood lets ing something else.’” The sometimes loose on the guitar as he hasn’t done your dreamy, sometimes danceable beats since OK Computer’s “Electioneering”. that serve as a backdrop for Yorke’s In the worst of the great 20th century lyrical musings about paranoia, sub- poet Fred Durst, makes you wanna urban entrapment and romantic disil- “break stuff”. photos lusionment recreate the sort of lyrical tension that The Beatles often per- Best line: fected. It takes a truly gifted lyricist “Do the lights go out for you? Because to write a sing-along about arson or the lights go out for me.” and heroin addiction, and like John Len- non before him, Thom Yorke manages Track 3: to reconcile dark imagery with beauti- Nude – Lush, soaring, pop ballad. ful melody more adroitly than any of The kind of song Chris Martin dreams writing his peers. In Rainbows exhibits what about writing. Their best work since is easily Yorke’s best work since OK “How to Disappear Completely”. Computer. Without denying the bleak to mechanical brilliance of their output Best Line: from the Kid A/Amnesiac era, the band “You paint yourself white and fill in occasionally got too bogged down in the noise, but there’ll be something their experimentation with dub and missing.” fcpaper@ electronica and churned out material that was at times too inhuman to con- Track 4: nect with the listener. Yorke’s haunt- Weird Fishes/Arpeggi – Opens as a gmail.com ing wail is one of the band’s greatest minimalistic fingerpicking tune, tak- assets, and when paired with Jonny ing the listener on a full tour through Greenwood’s soaring string arrange- Yorke’s weird ocean, full of rippling ments and biting guitars, the results starts and stops. are stunning. In Rainbows sees Ra- diohead laying down their synthetic Best Line: drum kits and vox modulators, admit- “Turn me on to phantoms I follow to ting that each new album does not the edge of the earth, and fall off. Ev- have to be a complete reinvention in erybody leaves, if they get the chance, order to be a masterpiece. They deal and this is my chance.”

FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 13 photo spotlight: bath at night michael sall

Michael Sall is a junior in the College and Wharton. You can write to him at sallms@sas.

14 FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 Track 5: Best Line: All I Need – Crunchy synth bass line “I don’t wanna be your friend, I just First, I studied art history. throbs over top of a thin layer of war- wanna be your lover, no matter how it Now, I manage operations. bling strings. The quintessential ends, no matter how it starts. At McMaster-Carr, we welcome all academic back- Radiohead atmosphere piece. What grounds. In fact, many of our successful managers were happens when the self-deceiving sub- Track 9: led by curiosity to study such non-business fi elds as abstract math, biology, or political science. Others pursued degrees urbanite from “No Surprises” starts Jigsaw Falling Into Place – Their in fi elds like accounting, computer science, or industrial being desperately honest with him- most straightforward rock song since engineering. Regardless of their majors, their intelligence, self. The Bends. It’s refreshing to hear creativity, and passion for details enable them to thrive here. Our customers know us as a one-stop shop for indus- Radiohead sounding like an actual trial widgets of all types and sizes. Our employees know Best Line: band instead of a cohort of manic de- us as a unique business run like no other. We develop “I’m an animal, trapped in your hot pressive computers. Maintains the our own catalog and engage in intensive market research. We write our own software systems in-house. We run our car.” tension and edge of the rest of the operations with passion and precision. We rely on our own album without the usual dramatics. expertise for continual process improvement. Track 6: Do you want to continue learning in a vibrant setting? Our management development career path will give you Faust Arp – Sticky sweet string bal- Best Line: the opportunity to learn all aspects of our unique business, lad masks Yorke’s spoken-word ex- “The walls abandon shape, you’ve got from catalog development and market research to fi nance, haustion. Mostly filler, the eye of the a cheshire cat grin. All blurring into software development, and product distribution. This cross- functional exposure will allow you to build the knowledge storm. one, this place is on a mission.” and experience that is critical to becoming a leader in our organization. Best Line: Track 10: We will be coming to campus to interview for this unique role. Opportunities exist at each of our locations: “It’s what you feel now, what you ought Videotape – More subdued than one • Atlanta, GA • Chicago, IL • Cleveland, OH to, what you ought to. Reasonable expects from a Radiohead closer, Yorke • Los Angeles, CA • Princeton, NJ and sensible, dead from the neck up, sounds restrained in both his lyrical because I’m stuffed, stuffed, stuffed.” droning and his tired, repetitive piano playing. An elegy of sorts, as close to www.mcmaster.com/careers Track 7: “at peace” as we’ve ever heard from the Resume Submission Deadline: Reckoner – Every now and then these band, and we get the sense that Yorke February 13, 2008 Info Session: February 21, 2008 guys write something that makes me is almost (gasp!) happy as the album Campus Interviews: February 22, 2008 wanna just start dancing for joy, and rolls away into the distance to the I just don’t give a shit what Yorke is rhythm of a firing squad drum beat. wailing about. A perfect ending to a masterpiece. U Penn 2.25x4.5.indd 1 1/25/2008 11:54:01 AM Best Line: Best Line: “Because we separate, it ripples our “No matter what happens now I won’t reflection.” be afraid, because I know today has been the most perfect day I’ve ever Track 8: seen.” FC House of Cards – A dreamy, punch- drunk ode to the moment. Opening lyrics sound kind of like they belong in a Rod Stewart song. And I mean that Steven Waye is a sophomore in the College. in the very best way possible. You can write to him at [email protected].

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FIRST CALL Fe b r u ar y 11, 2008 15 spreading some love ACROSS 1. Faith Hill song: “Caught up in the ___, the slow and steady rush” 5. Title of song: “Killing me softly with his ___” 11. Title of Marvin Gaye song: “We’re all sensitive people” 12. Whitney Houston song: “I will always love you... you are my ___” 13. Meg Ryan can’t sleep, so much fucking rain. 14. Adam’s love. What guy wouldn’t love a woman made of ribs? Mmmm... ribs. 15. Ross FINALLY got together with her in the end. 17. Movie heartthrob + UN Ambassador = Lots of kids 18. She was too good for the Beast. 19. Scientology couple. Also, strangely enough, a kind of housepet-gone- wild. 23. Title of Sade song: “He’s loved in seven languages” 24. William Shakespeare’s “star- crossed lovers” 25. The Beatles thought all they needed was love, until she broke up the band. 26. Bonnie’s partner-in-crime DOWN 6. She actually married a tobacco 10. Title of NSync song: “Keeping 2. Best-selling aphrodisiac on V-day, baron, not John Smith. Hey, money your faith when it’s gone” besides Viagra, which comes in a close talks. 16. Elvis song: ____ Hotel second. 7. Affleck couple name: both times 20. Marge’s hairless counterpart 3. These are forever (and fresh from 8. Meg Ryan has an orgasm (in this 21. Ken’s plasticized playmate the De Beers mine in Rhodesia). movie - not in real life, of course). 22. Bert’s “partner” (Yes, we mean it 4. Celine Dion song: “Love can touch 9. Title of BSB song: “There you were, like that.) us one time and last for a ___” wild and free” [

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