♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ MAGAZINE Valentine’s Week Issue! FEBRUARY 11, 2008 Volume 8, No. 8 5 DOLLS AND DOLPHINS FIRST SHIRA BENDER Shira thinks about the ultimate LOOK expression of unrequited love. 11 S.E.P.T.A. ERICA TOBIN Erica braves mass transit for purely – well, almost purely - unselfish reasons. PHOTO SPOTLIGHT: HUG FAIRY 8 SHELBY PRINDAVILLE It’s A BRANDED WORLD OUT THERE 9 MICHAEL FIELD Michael goes to war against ads and tries to survive in our brand-name culture. REVIEW: IN RAINBOWS 12 STEVE WAYE Steve listens as Radiohead breaks down musical and marketing boundaries. COMIC: GLASS HALF EMPTY 12 DAN MARKOWITZ PHOTO SPOTLIGHT: BATH AT NIGHT 14 MICHAEL SALL CROSSWORD: Valentine’s daY 16 THE EDITORS COVER CARTOON: YUE WU CONTACT CONTRIBUTORS EDITOR -IN -CHIEF : Mi c h a e l Sa l l • EDITORS : T i M Po T e n S , Be n n y la i tm a n , er i c a T o B i n , Da n De u ts c h • CHIEF DESIGN EDITOR : ch a r l i e iS a a c S • CHIEF ART EDITOR : Da n Ma r k o w i T z • WEBMASTER : T i M Po T e n S • BUSINESS MANAGER : ANN A FIRST CALL, KELLY WRITER ’S HOUSE To l M a c h • DISTRIBUTION MANAGER : Va l e r i a T S y g a n k o V a • TREASURER : ra c h a e l hu T c h i n S o n • FEATURES MANAGER : KA THY 3805 LO C UST WALK , PHILADEL P HIA , PA 19104 wa n g • RE C RUITMENT MANAGER : ri V k a Fo g e l • MARKETING MANAGER : Ju n Pa r k • ARTISTS : DA N MA R K OWITZ , YUE WU www .FIRST C ALLMAGAZINE .C OM COLUMNISTS : Sh i r a Be n D e r , er i c a T o B i n • WRITERS : MICH A EL FIEL D , STEVE WA YE F cp A P ER @GMAIL .C OM PHOTOGRA P HERS : Sh e l B y Pr i n D a V i l l e , Mi c h a e l Sa l l • LAYOUT ARTISTS : VA LERI A T S YG A N K OV A 2 FIRST CALL FEB R U ar Y 11, 2008 LETTER FROM THE EDITORS Dear Lovers and Haters, no pink or red clothing items in sight, Welcome to the first First Call don’t stress. But don’t call one of those EDITORIAL Valentine’s Week issue. Now, most lame depressed people hotlines either. of my FC team here would fall into (If there was a jkjkjkjkjk smiley face, POLICY the second half of my addressees: the I would be inserting one here.) Read snarly haters who believe that the First Call instead and listen to some First C all is T HE UNDE R G ra DU at E glass is half empty and the sun won’t Radiohead (see Steve’s review). It is M A G A Z I NE O F T HE UN I VE rsit Y O F come up tomorrow. That is, in fact, okay if no one else loves you, because PENN S Y L V A N ia P UB lis HED EVE R Y the reason behind our issue title: Val- we do. And we are better than every- entine’s Week. one else anyway. O T HE R MOND A Y . OU R M issi ON As it seems, most of the First Call So now that we have poured our is T O pr OV I DE MEMBE rs O F T HE team believes that Valentine’s Day hearts out to you, read on. Don’t leave C OMMUN it Y A N O P EN F O R UM F O R has become way overblown and far us unrequited in our lovin’. We are a too big of a deal. Too C-O-M-M-E- fun-loving bunch of writers - not so EX pr E ssi NG I DE as A ND O pi N I ON S . R-C-I-A-L. Too much branding (see much of a Romeo-and-Juliet-killed- TO T H is END , WE , T HE ED it O rs O F Michael’s article). They say it’s not a themselves crowd. It’s not like read- irst all ar E C OMM itt ED T O A day anymore; it’s a week. An expen- ing us is hard work. Our articles rock, F C , sive week. A stressful week. A useless and you know it. P O lic Y O F NO T C EN S O ri NG O pi N - week. Speaking in extremely vague And in this issue we tackle new, I ON S . Articl E S ar E pr OV I DED BY electoral terms, the majority of the modern, racy issues. Like interspe- FC team hates Valentine’s Day. They cies relationships (see Shira’s article). R EGU lar C O L UMN ists A ND W rit - really hate it. Seriously, no one else on campus will E rs . THEY ar E C HO S EN F O R P UB - But, they aren’t here to introduce teach you about that. Maybe the Bio licati ON B as ED ON T HE QU alit Y you to Valentine’s Day — I am. You Department, but they definitely won’t might be on a suicide watch list if they be as entertaining. You might even O F WritiNG, A ND , IN T HE cas E O F were. So we, the real lovers of Valen- sleep through their version. C OMMEN tari E S , T HE QU alit Y O F tine’s Day, aren’t going to talk about If Valentine’s Day was like Christ- ar GUMEN tati ON . OU tsi DE O F T HE all of those “we hate Hallmark” cynics. mas, not reading First Call would leave Instead, we will chat about Valentine’s you with lots of coal in your stocking. EDitOrial A ND O T HE R EDitOrial Day’s fabulosity. Yes, fabulosity. Maybe we can work something out C ON T EN T , NO articl E R E pr E S EN ts On Valentine’s Day, everyone can with Godiva. “You’ve been naughty, T HE O pi N I ON O F irst all its wear pink and red from head to toe. now you get coal in your chocolates.” F C , How many other days can you do that Eww. As I have already established, EDitOrial BO ar D , O R I ND I V I DU al without looking like an Easter Bunny? we here at FC are real lovers. Don’t MEMBE rs O F First Call O T HE R Okay, you might still look like an Eas- make us go all doom and gloom be- ter Bunny, but people can’t poke fun cause we have to punish you. T H A N T HE A U T HO R . NO C ON T EN T at you for it. If they do, send them my IN First Call UN L E ss O T HE R W is E way. I’m tough, you know. (See the Lots of lovin’ from the glass-half-full stat ED R E pr E S EN ts T HE O fficial SEPTA article inside this issue.) side of FC, If you are miserable and alone in Erica Tobin P O siti ON O F T HE A DM I N istra - your room because there are absolutely Editor ti ON , fac U lt Y , O R st UDEN T BODY at lar GE O F T HE UN I VE rsit Y O F PENN S Y L V A N ia . There are 3 things firstcallismFirst Call will never joke about: the Underground Railroad, S UPPORTE D BY THE KELLY Terrorists, and Michael Jordan. W RITERS HOUSE FIRST CALL FEB R U ar Y 11, 2008 3 4 FIRST CALL FEB R U ar Y 11, 2008 DOLLS & DOLPHINS How to make your interspecies marriage work! Or not. S haron and Cindy are in love. Sharon is a 43–year-old Jewish millionaire from London. Cindy is a 35-year-old resort performer from Eilat, Israel. They had a 15-year romance before getting married in 2005, during which time Sharon often traveled to Israel to visit her sweetheart, according to the Israeli newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth. Oh, and Cindy is a dolphin. At the wedding ceremony, Cindy’s trainers threw her some mackerel, after which Sharon herself jumped into the water to swim with her new husband. Sharon says she is not a pervert. In fact, she claims to be “the happiest girl on earth”. Only time will tell if Cindy is in fact the happiest Delphinidae. Interspecies marriages. Kind of makes you wonder what the whole institution of marriage is really about. There are many in this country who would say that Sharon and Cindy are just as “married” as any gay or lesbian couple would say FIRST CALL FEB R U ar Y 11, 2008 5 of themselves. There are those who humans who have sex for fun? Adds stories, and things get a bit more... would say that they are just as “mar- a whole other sick layer to this story, intense. Take Terry and Lucy for in- ried” as any man and woman could doesn’t it? stance: “I have had my Lucy (shes a be.