Page 2 The Lumberjack March 22 - 28, 2000 FOUND: Fifty-two, 13-inch gold men

Best Motion Pcture Believed to be “American Beauty” 37% 22 Best Director Professional Yukmouth an ‘Insider’job M. Night Shyamalar at Mogollon Brewing Co. “The Sixth Sense” 61% DJ Dance Night with Sabrina Fladnevs brittannium. an extra-high- Power to the People at Best Original Screenplay The iMtnberjack grade pewter, and then hand- Monsoons polished and electroplated in M. Night Shyamalan Katie Naverly at Things are “Topsy- copper, nickel silver and 34- “The Sixth Sense” 32% Charly’s Turvey” in Academy Award carat gold plate. Each Oscar Best Actor Best Dance Mix at the is 13 1/2 inches tall and Museum Club land as the Oscars are read­ Kevin Spacey weighs 8 1!2 pounds. All to­ New York Night at ied lo be handed out. “American Beauty"155% gether ihe little Oscars, all Mulligan’s • The Country awaits in Best Actress snug in their shrink wrapped suspense, a soft murmurcir- Annette Benning 23 packages and tucked into cling the country; Who will “American Beauty” 58% Grandharva Loka at be the Best Actor ? What will one big box. weigh over 467 Mogollon Brewing Co. be the Best Picture? $100 pounds, making them very Raging Jazz Project at pools are being thrown to­ hard for Fulgear to miss. In­ Unscientific informal survey of 100 campus residents Sunday. Monsoons gether only lobe gobbled up stead of taking the Oscars Shaggin’ Wagon at by the few perceptive, and and runni ng. Fulgear notified Charly’s ending thank you speeches. lucky, movie-buffs who the authorities. If Fulgear cars won’t be as big of a rip accidentally throwing them in Renegade at the Mu­ Host Billy Crystal is expected seem lo have an uncanny would have took off with the off as Gerloff’s reward. Acad-' the back room with the third- seum Club to play up the whole Oscar “Sixth Sense” as their pre­ precious statuettes, the esca­ emy President Robert Rehme class mail. The Academy re­ College Blowout at mishap during his crazy host­ dicted choices take home pade may have caused him says some of the recovered printed and re-mailed new bal­ Mulligan’s ing antics, while Robin Will­ one of the 55 little golden to turn green after the first Oscars will probably be used lots. They also extended the iam will find some way of 24 statues know to the Acad­ mile upon discovering that for the telecast Sunday night deadline for returning ballots singing songs from “South The In Betweens at emy Actors’ Branch as “Os­ the precious Oscars are as most of the statuettes recov­ to March 23. Park; Bigger. Longer, and Un­ Mogollon Brewing Co. car.” worth only $18,000 retail ered by Fulgear were still in This Year’s Academy cut’’ suitable for every televi­ Virgil Caibe at Mon­ Luckily, the academy has while the reward for finding their protective styrofoam and Awards should prove to be sion viewer. Whoo-hoo! soons found most of its 55 little them was a whopping plastic wrapping. more than the usual bad puns, Who’s got the cheesy puffs? Limbs Akimbo at Oscars. $50,000 Rehme is also trying to fish cheesy songs, andteary, never Charly’s As of March 10. the Os­ Roadway security man­ up an extra Oscar ticket to give Renegade at the Mu­ car statuettes, like freshly ager Jon Gerloff. who of­ to the man who fished up the seum Club fered the award, was not yet Oscars. ‘A Night at the Oscars’ with Theatrikos Mexican Extravaganza at olive-oiled “American ready lo pay Fulgear for his If loosing the Oscars isn’t Mulligan’s Beauty" spaghetti that’s just Theatrikos Theatre Company will have slipped down Kevin findings. Duringapress con­ enough to make fans lose their its Fifth Annual “A Night at the Oscars” 25 Spacey’s pants, had been ference Monday Gerloff said heads like a nasty round up in to celebrate the 72nd Academy Awards Fat Chance at Mogollon missing. On Sunday. March that he had not decided yet “Sleepy Hollow,” the 4,000 ceremony. Brewing Co. 19, dumpster-diver Willie whether Fulgear would be ballots sent to the award vot­ The party begins at 6 p.m. Sunday, and MACR Poetry Slam at Fulgear found 52 of the paid. ers never arrived. Before they will feature a continuous buffet, cocktails and several wide screen televisions. Monsoons statuettes while night-fish­ “Ef 1 saved them, don’t I couldjumptoconclusions and Limbs Akimbo at deserve the reward?” “Blame Canada” or anyone Patrons may dress up and participate in ing through a supermarket celebrity impersonations. Charly’s dumpster in the Koreatown Fulgear asked a reporter else, the U.S. postal service Renegade at the Mu­ spoke up. admitting they had For more information, call Theatrikos area of Los Angeles from KABC-TV at 774-1662. seum Club Hopefully this years Os- lost the len sacks of ballots by 2Fer Saturdays at The Oscars are made of Mulligan's

26 Dexter Grove at Movie is just another Mogollon Brewing Co. Arizona Highlands at Charly’s from 3:30-5:30 teen-scream horror flick A Night at the Oscars at 6 p.m. at Theatrikos Nate Vocum C'The 13th Warrior”), and that's right the Grim Reaper C'Candyman”), mysteriously fine acting. Theatre Playhouse, call The fjjmherjack five other students kicked himself, stalks the survivors knows why Death is stalking Ex-writer for the “X- 774-1662 for details off the plane, which blows who cheated him out of what these troubled teens and their Files.” James Wong, gives 27 Thirty-eight students and up just outside of the office. was supposed lo be their last teacher, and enlightens Alex a good directing debut with Open Mic at Mogollon two teachers are on their The other students in­ breath. and Clear. Although why he “Final Destination/’ show­ Brewing Co. way lo Paris, France, for a clude Tod, played by Chad Though the plot structure has such an insight on the ing us that he can create su s- Free Pool at Monsoons I O-day senior trip. All is E. Donella; Carter, played is original enough, “Final thought process of the Grim pense on the silver screen Karaoke at the Museum well until Alex Browning, by Kerr Smith ffrom T V ’s Destination" doesn’t break Reaper is anyone’s guess. just as well as he did on Club played by Devon Sawa free from the standards of the The death scenes are gory television. Burgers and Beer at “Dawson's Creek”); Billy < idle Hands*’), has an in­ In fact, if you are look­ Mulligan’s * Hitchcock as Seann W. recently revived teen-horror and about as intricate as-a credibly realistic premoni­ Scott (“American Pie”>; genre. Rube Goldberg invention, ing for a good scare, or you 28 tion that the plane is going Terry, played by Amanda The main character, Alex, which is to say that they are just like edge-of-your-seal Two for Two at to explode right after take­ Detmer and Clear Rivers as is suspected of being the complicated and a bit over the suspense, “Final Destina­ Mogollon Brewing Co. off. Ali Larier (“House on murderer hy unobservant and top. tion” produces both of these Open Mic with Katie Ale* freaks-out and in­ Haunted Hill”). unintelligent FBI agents, as The acting by each charac­ things quite well. If you are Haverty at Charly’s advertently gets himself, What at fiirst seems like a usual. A’shadowy camco ter is weak, hut that doesn’t looking foT anything else, Fiesta Tuesday with his teacher Ms. Lewton. stroke of good luck soon character, the mortician, really matter since no one you might want to avoid the Tequila DJs at the played by Kristen Ciokc turns into a curse as Death. played by Tony Todd goes to a horror movie for the this film.