MARCH 2010
What His Texts Really Mean (You’ll Be HOW TO Totally :-o) TOUCH A NAKED Carrie Underwood MAN The Surprising 16 Naughty Strokes Story Behind That Will Send Her Big Love Him Over the Edge
Stuff Your “HOW I Friends Know SOLVED About Your Relationship— OUR SEX That You Don’t ISSUE” Real Women Share Their No-Fail Fixes for 13 Seriously Awkward Curb Your (but Common!) Problems
Cravings! 50 Ways to Without Feeding Your Face Charm Anyone... and Always Get What You Want Fashion: PLUS 7 Items You’ll Wear the The Love Hell Out Of ) (All $60 or Less Lie 52% of Men Tell
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Don’t have time Cosmo to devour the whole magazine right this minute? These must-read h ’10 h tidbits (all cribbed
c at a from articles in this issue) will Carrie give you a taste of Mar Glance Underwood what’s to come.
Convo CAN’T-MISS QUOTE Starters LResearch shows that ‘‘I rarely go to clubs…and I friends often know what’s right for us always wear underwear!” better than we do. —Carrie Underwood on why she’s different from typical Hollywood starlets, p. 42 Tap in to the surpris- ing things that others may know about you WAYS TO P. 14 6 FLIRT IT UP with our tips. THE INDEX BIGGEST Turns out, your Some words just keep popping mojo powers are up. This month, it was: GUY good for getting you INSIGHT more than just a free Erotic When he texts vodka tonic. When you flirt with every- U The combination of sensations “hey,” he’s not L he’ll experience if you touch one in your life, you Surveys have found ...... p. 122 being cryptic. that 70 percent of him here He wants you boost their egos— married people met U The stories this chick read to to know he’s thereby upping your their spouse through her boyfriend in lieu of phone chances of getting someone they know. sex ...... p. 130 thinking about can) Dorling Kindersley/Getty(Watering Images. Find out how to your way. Drop the What shoes are to both women you, and he’s expand your pool of U one-liners below, and men, thanks to the wiring in
craving CLIFF WATTS. dudes to choose our brains ...... p. 174 then flip to p. 180 from. P. 14 0 reassurance for 48 more tips to U The influence that the sun has L that he’s on help you work
One reason women on a Gemini’s love life this (Underwood) eat even when they month ...... p. 224 your mind too. your magic. aren’t hungry: to The rhythm that nearly puts this Find out what 1. Frequently delay making a U “Red-Hot Read” character over to text him gush over your tough decision or the edge ...... p. 228 getting through a back on p. 142. neighbor’s gorgeous to-do list. You’re flower boxes or gar- more likely to snack den and she’ll be than, say, watch TV or go online because more willing D. (Bracelet) JESUS AYALA/STUDIO those activities seem to water your plants like procrastination, Best Deal while you’re away while eating doesn’t. on vacation. P. 15 6 in the Issue
2. Next time you s Choice/Getty Images. L Yikes: 15 percent of A chunky floral bangle need advice, tell condom-users will your girls, “You guys become pregnant adds the perfect feminine each year because touch for only $5.80. P. 90 will know exactly they didn’t put it on how I should deal P. 16 8 correctly. with this....” (Cake topper) Photographer’
16 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
from the editor Things I Didn’t Know Till Behind the This Issue
Scenes at LOne reason men crave Cosmopolitan makeup sex is simply for reas- What Really Makes Love Last surance that the We’ve always known that a fair share of guys relationship is are unfaithful, but these days, it seems to be not on the rocks. Is Being Too Nice positively raining rogues. What makes it espe- (Page 66) cially galling is how hypocritical some of them Making You Sick? L Page 164 are. Cheaters like Governor Mark Sanford and When young Tiger Woods totally leveraged their wholesome women dine images. We decided it was time to dish out a out with a thin pal who chows little punishment. Check out page 120. down, they Yo u Te l l Us Although there’s no foolproof way to tell if a subcon- guy is likely to cheat, it’s good to listen to your sciously “As an employee at a women’s gut. Hint: If you are the follow shelter, I want to thank Cosmo 18th intern he’s bagged, her lead for covering domestic- and be very afraid. It also and eat heartily sexual-violence issues so often. helps to nurture your as well. (Page 222) Great job, and thanks for getting relationship. “Secrets of the word out there.” —Samantha Crazy-in-Love Couples,” LBlueberry Love doesn’t on page 126, reveals yogurt—thanks “I opened your magazine, and have to be seven simple secrets to a complicated. to the violet-red my jaw dropped. Inside was a strong long-term bond. juice found in local teacher featured as one of it—can be used Cosmo’s sexiest bachelors The New Body Language as dye to give [November 2009]. I also teach, your hair a red- Recently, body-language expert Janine Driver and I’ve never seen a teacher look dish tint. that good. Luckily, he doesn’t stopped by the office to give Cosmo staffers (Page 110) work with me or I couldn’t focus. some insider tips about how to read people just Keep the hotties coming!” —Aimee from observing their movements and posture. LAccording to While we’ve done plenty of body-language ar- a recent survey, “You missed the mark in ‘7 Habits ticles on reading men—from how to tell if the cheating is not That Are Giving You Belly Pudge’ gorgeous guy at the bar is into you to what your the number JACK MISKELL. Glowimages/Getty Images. [December 2009]. You list being boyfriend’s sleep style reveals about his relation- one thing men a vegetarian as the number two ship MO—Janine reminded us of another way lie about. reason for belly fat...but that by to use this knowledge: at work. Turns out, you (Page 48) itself won’t make you fat. Poor can use simple moves to send subliminal mes-
diet and no exercise are the real sages to your coworkers (and boss!) that you’re LOnline win- SCHLESINGER. TAMARA problems.” —Julie on top of your game and brimming with con- dow-shopping fidence. Check out Janine’s tips from her new taps in to “I loved your online feature on book, You Say More Than You Think: A Seven- your brain’s the Stupak-Pitts Amendment. Day Plan for Using the New Body Language to reward It’s awesome that you informed Get What You Want,on page 150. center, your readers about this issue triggering a that is central to women’s shopper’s from left) Keith Major Photography. from left) Keith Major Photography. reproductive freedom and gave high. (Page 174) them tools to take action.” —Anna op to bottom,
Kate White, Editor-in-Chief (T
COSMOPOLITAN.COM/TELLCOSMO Got something to say? COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Holy Hot Guys! It’s the 10th Anniversary of the Cosmo Bachelor BA Issue!CHELOR SEARCH 2010 Know a cute, single guy? He could win $10,000 and a new BETH STUDENBERG. Express wardrobe!
Our nationwide search for the hottest guy from each state starts now, and we’ll be crowning one lucky guy Bachelor of the Year. If you know a sexy, unattached man who should COSMO’S BACHELOR HALL OF FAME make the cut, nominate him. Go to
cosmopolitan.com/bachelors to send (Greer) DREW AND DEREK ERIC MCNATT. RIKER. (Ward) us an e-mail or to print out an official entry form. Include his age, height, weight, profession, and state. Give details on why he’s so awesome, plus two color photos (one head shot and one full-length, shirtless body shot) and contact info for you both (phone Andy Baldwin, Steven Ward, Jabari Greer, David Entinghe, number, e-mail, and street address). California, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, 2007 Ohio, 2005 Be sure to fill us in on how you know 2005 2003 This athlete Cosmo launched him—sorry, no boyfriends allowed. After being in We taught this currently plays his modeling Drop off the entry form, with photos Cosmo, he went guy well: Steven for the New career, including attached, at your local Express or on to star on ABC’s now dishes Orleans Saints campaigns for
Express Men store, or mail it to Cosmo The Bachelor: An dating advice as and ranks among Abercrombie & Manicure: for MAC Cosmetics. Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Hair: Senior fashion editor: Jennifer Brent for Kérastase Paris at Kramer and Kramer. Rebecca Hessel. Bachelors, 300 West 57th Street, 38th Officer and a the host of VH1’s the NFL’s fastest Fitch, Tommy Floor, New York, NY 10019. Deadline: Gentleman. Tough Love. defensive backs. Hilfiger, and DKNY. April 11. See page 235 for entry rules.
EXPRESS IS THE EXCLUSIVE RETAIL SPONSOR OF THE 2010 AMARA SCHLESINGER. T COSMO BACHELOR CONTEST. (Baldwin and Entinghe) Wildfox; jeans: Chip & Pepper. Shirt: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc.
30 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
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Mega success has made this sexy country star reluc tant to dis- cuss her fiancé. But we finally got her to open up. By Ky Henderson
“Do not look at me!” Carrie Underwood orders a small group of onlookers as she struts past. “What did I tell you? Don’t look at the artist!” We’re backstage at Live With Regis and Kelly, watching Carrie do her best impression of a bitchy celebrity—the key word being impression. She’s actually joking around with guys in her band, who crack up as she walks by in a purple cocktail dress and a pair of strappy black heels that look like what Victoria Beckham would wear if Carrie she moonlighted as a dom- inatrix. And yet even in that outfit, Carrie looks to- Underwood tally approachable. It’s a quality she was sort of born with. “An Oklahoma in Love girl like me wouldn’t even know how to be a diva,” she explains. “I’m just a person who has a cool job. I love to Group. Wall Makeup: Rachel Goodwin for Chanel at the Tresemmé. Hair: Marco Santini for be at home. I rarely go to clubs…and I always wear
underwear! I just know I’d : Michelle McCool. fall down, and that’s not for everyone to see.” Manicure: Elisa Ferri for See Management. Dress: Fendi; earrings: Robert Lee Morris; bracelets: DANNIJO. See page 234 for shopping information. See page 234 for shopping information. Dress: Fendi; earrings: Robert Lee Morris; bracelets: DANNIJO. Manicure: Elisa Ferri for See Management. Fashion director
42 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM It’s extrahot in Carrie country. Earrings: Gemma Redux
Photographs by Cliff Watts CO S MO QUIZ COSMO TH e. Other:______. Canada duringthewinter! d. Igettospendsomuchtimein c. Hehasmybackinabarfight. b. He’s ingreat shape. a. Thegamesare exciting. NHL-player fiancéisthat: abouthavingan The bestpart ______. ______I’m sometimesmistakenfor ______. because ______I’m really insecure aboutmy e. Other:______. d. c. Toilet-paper Taylor Swift’s house. b. a. Releaseahip-hopalbum. If Iwantedtoshockpeople,I’d: ______. probably be______If singinghadn’tworkedout,I’d e. Other:______. d. Deep-friedandsmothered ingravy. c. Outdoorsy. b. Unpretentious. a. Traditional. being: T Nickname:______Name:______44 o me,being“country”means Let JesusDrive?” “Jesus, Take theWheel”was“Who Admit thattheoriginaltitleofmysong Cash is. Tell peopleIhavenoideawhoJohnny COSMOPOLIT NEWS E
AN / MARCH 2010 ______
THE P OUT WHY. TO FIND TO FIND TURN hockey fan. her aninstant Mike Fisher, made Carrie’s fiancé, ______famous is______aboutbeing The weirdest part ______. I’ve alwayswishedIwere betterat d. Legs. c. Butt. b. Boobs. a. Hair. of mybodyismy: My favoritepart e. d. c. b. a. have been: other than If Icouldhavewonareality show barbecuesauceonmyface. d. Irarely discoverthatIhave negativeimpactontheenvironment. c. IfeellikeI’mhavinglessofa b. Ineverhavemealregret. AGE AGE So YouThinkCanDance. The AmazingRace. Rock ofLove. Project Runway. Hell’s Kitchen.
terrier Ace. with herBFF:rat Carrie takesoff more thantheotherperson. d. Needmyownspace c. Overanalyzethings. b. Wear thepants. pushover. a. Bealittlebitof In r , it would American Idol,itwould maintainmyweight. a. It’s relatively easyto that: being avegetarianis The bestthingabout ______. who didn’tlovemy I couldn’tdateaguy elationships, Itendto:
.
Carrie hasbecomethemostsuccessful Since winning MYSTERY WOMAN with “Jesus,Take the Wheel.” after thataudition,shehadher firsthit out forIdol.Alittlemorethanayear vinced hertogoSaintLouis totry journalism incollege,friends con- career. Then,whilestudyingbroadcast thought seriouslyaboutitbecominga child. Shelovedtosingbutnever up almostasthoughshewereanonly who hastwomucholdersisters,grew her parentsstillliveandwhereCarrie, fresh offthefarm.” I was20poundsheavierandliterally twice ifitweren’t forIdol.Backthen, it. Nobodywouldhavelookedatme that youneedtomeetinordermake woman, therearealotmorecriteria do,” Carrietellsus.“Whenyou’rea who hadtheopportunitytodowhatI me wishthatthereweremorewomen singles onherfirsttwoalbums. artist inhistorytohave10numberone ber one.She’s thefirstfemalecountry Ride and copies. Hernexttwoalbums, went ontosellmorethan7million Hearts, debutedatnumberoneand past fiveyears.Herfirstalbum,Some even thoughshe’s beenatitforonlythe female countryartistofthedecade— ing morethanhockey. Mike, Carriebasicallytalksaboutnoth- mutters—but whenshe’s askedabout photo—“Don’t knowwho sense ofhumorwhensheseesthe love life.Shedoesn’t losehersmileor most guarded…especiallyabouther we’ve evermet,Carrieisalsooneofthe one ofthemostdown-to-earthcelebs brute.” Thingis,inadditiontobeing and referstohimasher“good-looking fiancé, prohockeyplayerMikeFisher, surprises Carriewithapictureofher That farm was in Oklahoma, where That farmwasinOklahoma,where “It’s beenwonderful,butitmakes Regis letheroff Once she’ Play On,alsodebutedatnum- s onstagechatting,Regis American Idolin2005, way tooeasy. C OSMOPOLIT is,” she that is,”she Carnival Carnival AN.COM
(Underwood) MAP/splashnews.com. (Fisher, from left) NHL Images/NHLI via Getty Images; Andre Ringuette/NHLI via Getty Images.
CO her knees. thing about She’s gota S MO a cattlefarm. she wasraisedon of thefactthat teenager inspite since shewasa a vegetarian NShe’s been mom anddad. of freaks outher pictures. Itkind hours, taking park outsidefor in Oklahomaand her parents’ house fans willdriveto NSometimes, F NOW UNTIL CARRIE… ABOUT KNOW DIDN’T YOU 5 NEWS ACTS
after she’s 30. until want tostart Now shedoesn’t she turned30. dren bythetime done havingchil- swore she’dbe younger, she NWhen shewas she was. had noideawho Carrie homebut stopped andtook A woman cut herknee. jogging andbadly she trippedwhile finale in2008, the NRight before bones. in theshapeof inlaid diamonds alongside tiny of herdog,Ace, with thename ring engraved custom-made NShe wearsa American Idol F for theOttawaSenators,Carriehad After ayearofdatingMike,whoplays more…and nowshehasit. another connectionshe’s alwayswanted is toherconnectwithfans,there’s more ofherself.Still,asimportantit sign, Carriesays,thatshe’s revealing wrote sevenofthesongson been spendingalotoftime.Sheco- a writingroom,sheopensup.” with Carrie.“Andonceyougetherin Luke Laird,whocowroteseveralsongs other artistsgetinto,”sayssongwriter self innegativesituationsthatsome guarded, becauseshehasn’t puther- way, it’s beentoheradvantagebeso pluses tonotrevealingmuch.“Ina them. Andbesides,therearedefinite friends—she hasatight-knitcircleof usually talkaboutsurfacestuff.” often choosetobearoundguys,who you tendtoopenup,andthat’s whyI mits. “Whenyou’retalkingtowomen, tery. “I’maclosed-offperson,”shead- is somethingevenCarriesaysamys- ably fail.Thatisn’t whoshereallyis.” she triedtobeapopartist,she’dprob- bums. “She’s acountryartist.Infact,if who producedallthreeofCarrie’s al- of herselfartistically,” saysMarkBright, knows her, there’s nodoubtaboutit. all. ButifyouaskCarrieoranyonewho question whetherit’s countrymusicat blending hascausedsomepeopleto sound thatalsoembracespop.That poster girlsforanewcountry-music ing amassivediamond onherfinger. was spottedataSenatorsgame sport- liner notesforhisloveandsupport. “#12”—Mike’s jerseynumber—in the buted lastfall,Carriethanked were together. Butwhen barely acknowledgedpubliclythatthey ferent, CarrieandT A The writingroomisoneplaceshe’s That’s nottosayshehasnogirl- Who shereallyisoutsidethestudio “Carrie hasalwayshadastrongsense Less thantwomonthslater, Carrie Even thoughtheirmusicisverydif- VORITE NUMBER aylor Swiftarethe Play Onde- —a Play On—a
laughs toherself. “Iwantitall.” says. “Iwanttobehappy.” Thenshe ends upaloneandunhappy,” Carrie people whohasanamazingcareer but nection she’dbeencraving. mal). It’s aperfectexampleofthatcon- while shelaughsathissinging(nor- crank upthevolumeandbeltitout on thecarradio(notnormal),Mikewill of normalcy. Ifoneofhersongscomes apart—but theycreatetheirownkind they stilllivemorethan1,000miles make theirsastrangerelationship— their relationshipbetweenthem. mouths shut,choosinginsteadtokeep except CarrieandMike.Theykepttheir people startedtotalk.Well, everyone went toherfirsthockeygame…and on thephoneforafewmonths,she like ‘Whatifhe’s weird?’ ” didn’t wantittobeone-on-one.“Iwas other people,”Carriesays,sinceshe she didinToronto inOctober2008. nally, heendedupbackstageatashow telling himheshouldmeether. Sofi- friends offriends,and tally, heandCarriewerelinkedthrough his mother’s intuition.Butcoinciden- of course,didn’t paymuchattentionto point outthesingertoherson.Mike, taped herperformancessoshecould Mike’s momsawCarrieonIdoland name...but wecanlivewiththat. versation doessheactuallyuseMike’s escape.” Atnopointduringourcon- I wasfriedtryingtowrite,hemy being supportive,”shetellsus.“When it wassomethinghesaidorjustby a lotofinspirationforsongs,whether then shestartstalking.“Heprovided she looks)asifwe’retorturingher. But a brief,silentmoment,wefeel(and “That couldbe edgement, shegivesthisquietreply: about thatfirstrealpublicacknowl- “I didn’t wanttobeone ofthose Carrie admitsthatcircumstances He wasn’t. AfterchattingwithMike “I madesurehecameinwithsome In away, theircourtshipbeganwhen She’s joking,ofcourse.Sortof.For And yet,evennow, whenweaskher any number12.” C OSMOPOLIT they started AN.COM N
Dress: Costume National; earrings: Gemma Redux; pumps: YSL.
COSMONEWS Relationships
The reason he tells it is just as important as the lie itself. but won’t challenge him on it because they don’t want to seem like a nag,” says Dory Hollander, PhD, author of 101 Lies Men Tell Women. But if you’re giving your man a free pass, you’re missing out on an opportunity to strengthen your bond…and putting your relationship at risk. FEEL HIM OUT. When he utters those four little words, it isn’t necessarily a red flag. Most likely, he just doesn’t feel like talking about something he thinks will make him seem weak in front of you—especially if he’s hit a snag at work. “Work is where men feel the greatest sense of power and stability in their lives,” Meyers says. “So when things go # wrong there, they can feel like their life is The 1 spinning out of control.” That vulnerability is yet another emotion that guys would rather not express. “Men have this idea that women are looking for their knight Lie Guys in shining armor, the man who can handle any- thing,” Meyers says. “They’re afraid they’ll be less attractive if they don’t keep up that facade, Tell Their so they need to be told flat out that you actually like it when they open up a little.” Make a joke to get your point across without entering seriously cheesy territory. Say something Partner like “Not to go all Dr. Phil on you or anything, but I kind of like hearing about what goes on during When Tiger Woods first denied those “rumors” cir- your day…even the bad stuff.” Then back off if he culating about him, we wanted to strap the dude doesn’t want to have a heart-to-heart that instant. down and force him to take a lie-detector test. But By giving him the option to discuss it later, you’ll according to a recent survey, the number one man-lie help him feel like he’s still in the driver’s seat. isn’t about cheating. Turns out, it’s this: “Nothing’s “Women make the mistake of wanting to fix every- wrong. I’m fine.” More than half of men fessed up to thing in one long talk,” says Paula Rinehart, author feeding their girlfriends this line. That means that more of What’s He Really Thinking. “We approach prob- likely than not, your man has used it on you. lems that way, but men take more time to figure things According to experts, this go-to fib is all about avoiding out.” Give him a couple of days, then ask him if he’s drama and protecting male pride. “Most guys know still bummed…and why. they’re not as good at talking through their feelings as DANGER SIGNS. As for the guy who drops this lie often women are,” says Seth Meyers, PhD, a Los Angeles and won’t say a peep no matter how much you gently relationship expert. “He’s worried that if he tries to encourage him, you have to call him out. “At this point, vocalize what’s bothering him, he’ll say the wrong thing, it’s a more serious situation,” Meyers says. Use this line to make you emotional, and cause the issue to escalate let him know it’s not okay to keep his lips zipped: “I’ve been
into something worse than it is.” In other words, he trying to connect with you on this, but everything I’ve tried folio-id.com doesn’t want to make a mess that he can’t clean up. has failed. What do you think I should do here?” It’ll let him And he’s not the only one ducking drama: “Most know that you’re considering his feelings but that he has to
women know intuitively when a guy is holding back speak up to make things right. —ROBIN HILMANTEL Nicola Majocchi/
48 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
CO
pr 24 to her current of r eferred this S 200 2007 eaders W Look?
54 look. MO % COSMOPOLIT NEWS 3 h S worked for her. Sleek and smiley here. twisted h tsFri’ et Best Fergie’s at’s e was totally totally e was AN Beauty Evolution / MARCH 2010 2008 2004 T some of her most Fergalicious moments. some moments. of mostFergalicious her at back peek a Here’s style. edgy an h e rocker has never been afraid to try to try neverbeenafraid e rocker has for her too. too. her for full-on glam works Of course, her inner tomboy. her embrace with all guys made Being in a group
2005 2009 suits this beauty. A darker shade that urban look. been good at She’s always C OSMOPOLIT AN.COM
(Left to right, from top) Ferdaus Shamim/WireImage; Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage; S Granitz/WireImage; Chris Polk/FilmMagic; Gregg DeGuire/WireImage; infevents.com.
The Real Story COSMONEWS BY LILLIAN GLASS, PHD Britney May Have Found The One
MAY 2008 OCT. 2009 Skeptics say Britney’s past love disasters may predict her future, but our body- language expert sees true love with Solid Beginnings her boyfriend This photo, taken a year before the two officially started dating, shows a strong and agent, friendship. Britney’s face is relaxed, and her grip on Jason signals her trust. Jason Trawick.
JUNE 2009 Taking Care Jason opens the door, a protective gesture, and Britney twists her body toward his They’re even as she walks forward, in Sync showing she craves his support. Britney and Jason main- tain a similar stride as NOV. 2009 they walk, a
subconscious splashnews.com;Worldwide/ titomedia.com.au/ splashnews.com; Picture Media/ infphoto.com. Maciel-RS/ x17online.com; Hot Shots sign that they are on the ws.com; same page in the rela- tionship and share a tight bond. clasos.com/ splashne tesy of Lillian Glass; from top) cour
He’s a Family Guy (Left to right, Jason’s posture mirrors Britney’s as they care for her sons, suggesting that he’s comfortable melding with her life. 56 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
COSMONEWS sexy vs. skanky
Kim Kardashian Patricia Arquette
Posing in a one-shoulder dress Popping out of a one-shoulder dress
Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole
Touching your Licking your guy’s abs guy’s abs in a club Brody Jenner and Jayde Jesse Grant/WireImag e; splashnews. Nicole Ordering a romantic Ordering sex
meal over the phone over the phone ws.com; s plashne
Mel Gibson then Mel Gibson now
Bloodred lips Bloodshot eyes
Having a dating Dating lots t Carrasquillo/FilmMagic; Entertainment Press/ of guys show on VH1
Wearing Wearing your from top) Gilber low-slung trunks trunks this low x17online.com. com; © MGM/courtesy Everett Collection; splashnews.com; Stephane Ouzeau/ x17online.com; x17online.com. (Left to right,
Matthew McConaughey Sean Stewart confessions Cosmo readers share their most shocking stories and steamiest secrets.
Check, Please! “I had a really crazy day—the kind that takes six cups of coffee to get through—but I was still looking forward to my blind date that evening. When I got there, I was so overly caffeinated that I was shaking. I dropped my fork and almost tipped over my plate. I couldn’t stop awkwardly fidgeting the entire night, and my date kept looking at me like I was insane. Still, I thought he might be up for giving me a second chance until the end of dinner, when I got up from the table…and took the entire tablecloth with me. Everything on top of it spilled all over the poor guy, Pantie Flasher and he barely said good-bye before practically sprint- “I hadn’t done laundry in a while, so I wore the only Damage ing away from me.” —Rita, 21 clean underwear I had: an ultratight thong. It got Control to be really uncomfortable, so in the middle of the Nasty Piece of Work day, I ran to the bathroom and took it off, deciding it “One day, I was surfing the Web when I came across was better to go commando than keep it on. Since a supersexy photo of Rachel Bilson. A guy friend of the pants I was wearing that day didn’t have any mine is totally obsessed with her, so I sent him an pockets, I stuffed the pantie into one of my boots. e-mail with the lusty picture attached. I wrote a funny Later, without thinking about it, I stopped by a shoe subject line and then typed in his name and hit send. store. As a cute salesman was helping me out, I took Later, though, when I was looking through off my boot…and the thong fell out onto the floor “ If I were her, E-MAIL my out-box for something else, I realized right in front of him! His face turned beet red, and he OUCH! I would have that the auto-fill on my computer must looked away. I didn’t know what to do, so I stuffed it winked at the have entered my boss’s e-mail address instead of back in my boot as quickly as possible, put it on my shoe sales- my friend’s! I had sent an e-mail to my boss with the foot, and ran out of the store.” —Nora, 34 man and said subject ‘Don’t Jizz Your Pants!’ and a nearly naked Honeymoon’s Over ‘Oh, I forgot picture of Rachel Bilson attached! Shortly afterward, I was going he came up to me and was like ‘What was that about?!’ “On our way back from our honeymoon, my husband commando Makeup: Jillian Chaitin for Nars. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Jacket: DKNY; dress: Thayer. Thayer. Jacket: DKNY; dress: Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Makeup: Jillian Chaitin for Nars. Thank goodness he was chill about the whole thing and I decided to stop by my new in-laws’ house. We today.… after I explained the mix-up.” —Laura, 24 had tons of photos we wanted to show them, so we Does that made sure to delete the few risqué ones before we get me Baby Got Payback got there. We went inside and started flipping through a discount?’ visionofvera.com. “My now-ex broke up with me totally out of the blue. the pictures right away. After some cute posed Whipping I didn’t find out why until a month later, when a friend shots, a photo of me coming out of the shower in out a clever told me that it was because he had cheated on me our hotel room—completely nude—came up! Appar- joke in the with a girl he’d met online and decided he wanted ently, we hadn’t seen that one when we went through middle of an to date her instead. Furious, I went onto MySpace to censor the dirty ones. We tried to change to a embarrassing —which he uses all the time—and set up a fake different photo right away, but there must have been situation account using a hot picture of a friend he’d never some glitch because we couldn’t move beyond that would met. I struck up a conversation with my ex and screen for at least another 30 seconds or so! We definitely pretended to have all the traits I knew he loved in a had already agreed to stay for dinner, so we couldn’t impress me.” girl. He completely fell for it—I even got the horny even make a quick exit.” —Meredith, 22 —John, 20 bastard to ask for a raunchy striptease. I promptly —REPORTED BY ROBIN HILMANTEL Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Carlos Vera for Vera Hair:Senior fashion editor: Carlos Rebecca Hessel.
forwarded the message to his new girlfriend.” . COSMOPOLITAN.COM/CONFESS Have a juicy confession? Log on to tell us the dirty details. WADLEY —Emma, 19 and clarity. content, Stories may have been edited for length, Names of readers who share stories and those mentioned in the have been changed to protect their privacy.
62 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
GUY confessions What’s wrong withthisguy?!” day thinkingtomyself,No,itnever, everhappens! understanding andall,butIspenttherest ofthe said, ‘Don’tworry. Ithappens!’It’s coolthathewas to grabit,butasIdid,accidentallypeedonmy thing ataurinalwhenmycellphonerang.Iwent it’s Andrew andGwen.’ ‘Judging bythenamestheykeep repeating, Ithink machine neededtostopASAP. Shethensaid, say thatwhoeverwashavingsex onthewashing had ‘forgotten’ totellus.Hismom hadcometo Turns out,ourhoststillliveswithhisparents and came downstairsinherpajamas,clearlyupset. tected. Two minuteslater, amiddle-agewoman um, finishedup,wemanagedtocomeoutunde- coworker I’dsecretly beencrushingon.Afterwe, and endedupgoingintothelaundryroom witha everyone from wasthere. theoffice Iluckedout “My friendfr Sin Cy “While inthebathr Golden Boy “My girlfriendandIhadbeendoingthelong-distance Par admitted toherthatitwasallmyfault.” complexbecauseofit.Istillhaven’t her apartment busted bythepoliceandshe’dbeenkickedoutof hadbeen I actedshockedtolearnthatherparty I’d beenthere. Whenshephonedme the nextday, and madethetripbackhomewithouttellingher report theunderagedrinkingthatwasgoingon, I leftbefore shespottedme,called the copsto making outwithsomeguyI’dnevermet.Furious, who gotasurprise.Icaughtherinbackroom last minutewouldbeanawesomepresent. party, her birthday soIknewthatshowingupatthe really bummedwhenItoldhercouldn’tmakeitto prise visittoseeheronbir thing foralmostayearwhenIdecidedtomakesur- 64 BUSTED! TOTA “When Igottoherparty, though,Iwastheone
Men admit to their dirtiest deeds Men admittotheirdirtiestdeeds and mostshamelessscamsever. ty Monster ty L LY LY COSMOPOLIT cle turned around, helookedatmeand moment mybosswalkedin.WhenI shoe. Sure enough,that’s theexact om workwasthr oom atwork,Iwasdoingmy ” AN / MARCH 2010 thday. Shesounded owing aparty, and —Andrew, 25 —Harold, 21 —Jimmy, 22
he foundoutaboutit,thefirstthingsaidto “I hookedupwithmybuddy’ Sloppy S though Iknownexttonothingaboutit,pr “I wasdatingthisgirlwhor A BadR and sodidthegirl.” being soawful,theyeliminatedmeimmediately... job Icould.Notthatitreally mattered. Iendedup rap to.Iwaspanicking,buttriedtodothebest handed methemikeandputonabeatforto this, mydate’s wholefacelitup—thatis,untilthey entered arapbattle!Whentheannouncer explained have beenconfused,though,becauseIhadactually they calledeveryoneupontothestage.Imust written especiallyforher. impress herbygoingupandreading apoemI’d attheend,Idecidedtoreallyopen-mike portion she wouldlove,andIwasright.Whentheyhadan this beat-poetryslam.Ithoughtitwassomething was alsoreally intoitandtookheroutonenightto an idiot…andasshole.” get backatmeforsleepingwith hisex.Ifeltlike that Iwascleanandmybuddy justtryingto but afteraridiculouslypainfulcheckup,Irealized bitch. Ivisitedthedoctortoassessdamage, everything, atwhichpointItoldhershewasalying and wenttothegirlconfront her. Shedenied the reason webroke freaking up.’Istarted out me was‘You knowshehasanSTD,right?That’s COSMOPOLIT “I signeduptodoit,andafewminuteslater,
AN.COM/CONFESS ap e conds conds —REPORTED BYROBINHILMANTEL Have ajuicyconfession? s ex-girlfriend.When eally intorap.Even —Peter, 30 —Hank, 25 etended I etended I
Log ontotellusthedetails. “ some I waswith a hard time.” still giveme My friends a street sign! straight into I walked attention, really paying I wasn’t by, andsince we passed at themas kept staring volleyball. I girls playing of gorgeous saw agroup when we buddies Hot-Guy Blooper C OSMOPOLIT —Kareem, 26
AN.COM
BETH STUDENBERG. Names of readers who share stories and of those mentioned in the stories have been changed to protect their privacy. Stories may have been edited for length, content, and clarity.
a Fight After Acts He How Dec By MollyT postbattle behavior. totranslate his experts that way. Soweasked guy landdoesn’twork fault). Unfortunately, (even ifitwasn’this about whathappened” “Honey, I’msosorry on thecouchandsay, man wouldsityoudown In aper fect world,your rif fin PhotographsbyChris Clinton
o de de
Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Damian Monzillo using Davines Hair Care for Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. using Make Up For Ever. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Pants: l.o.g.g. Man Manual
67 YOU, SENSE IF YOU ANGER THERE’S OSMOPOLITAN C / LURKING. BETWEEN DISTANCE PROBABLY MARCH 2010 Man Manual So af 68 HE TEXTS resolution withhim. to reach adeeper or distressed, you need and leaves you confused themessagefallsflat If that meanshe’s genuine.” feel closerto him, then you andmakes a nerve Now ittouches What?“If I’m Right, You’re Wrong, Amador, PhD, authorof details,” stresses Xavier devilisinthe read it.“The emotionally whenyou affectsyou the text his wording andhow you’re upset. protective filter incase because itgives hima apologize viaelectronics, to.” It’s easierfor himto isn’t somethinghe’s used abouthisfeelings talking because con versation avoiding anin-person face talk, hemightbe probably prefer aface-to- Man Tin the Under standing July, PhD, authorof damage,” says William attempting to repair the mulling thingsover, he’s step. shows thatafter It to tell how he’s feeling. says theSword, it’s hard seeing hisface whenhe hearing hisvoice or up. Problem is, without sends you to atext make APOLOGY YOU AN But pay attention to But pay attention to isagoodfirst “This . “Althoughyou’d t er anargument, he COSMOPOLIT
AN / MARCH 2010 you canfinallyendit. you’re watchingTV,so fight casually,likewhile the case,bringup feely withyou. Ifthat’s his own,orislesstouchy- doesn’t offeranyideasof with plansyoumakebut questions, goesalong your answer ing flags: Heisshortwhen hasn’t forgivenyou.Red were inthewrongand dealing withit,”Julysays. aggressive wayof and thisishispassive- probably angerlurking, between you,there’s “But ifyousensedistance he hasgottenoverit. you, chancesarethat home? Ifhe’swarmwith day assoonhegets and fillyouinabouthis funny linkfromwork, makeup, sendyoua you’re doingyour squeeze yourwaistwhile for littlesigns.Doeshe and istuningyou out.” says, “or heisreally pissed of adealto him,” July “Either itwasn’t thatbig why he’d beunruffled. There are two reasons sudden-onset amnesia? day? hehave Does spaghetti. Isitopposite shower, making game, singinginthe unfazed—watching the and your guyappears NORMAL Y TOTALLY HE SEEMS ou justhadablo He might think you He mightthinkyou To tellwhichitis,look wout,
original issue. do needto dealwiththe Then tell himthatyou be more opento talking. on solidground, he’ll Once hefeels thatyou’re want to be withhim. upandyou still breaking doesn’t meanyou’re thatyour spat him know isokay.”everything Let reassurance that to you physically for Amador says. “Heturns things rightagain,” to make action to take fix-it mind-setandwant the rocks. “Guys have a relationship could be on he’s outthatthe freaked hit thesheetsbecause get worse.” will snowball andonly isn’t solved, thesituation “However, ifthedispute closeness,” Julyexplains. achieve afalsesenseof to ignore and reality turning to sexasaway Band-Aid. “Hemightbe but don’t useitasa through theproblem, you’veafter worked sex wrong withmakeup sheets. There’s nothing tension between the wants to work outthe before thishorndog dust hashardly settled Whoa! D HE WANTS SEX SEX MAKEUP ON TO TO MOVE He might also rush to He mightalsorushto o wn, boy. The
PRESENT OR A FLOWERS YOU Y HE BUYS things undertherug. to sweep quet isatactic Whereas a genericbou- fight.” details ofevery need to hash outthe term couples whodon’t peace offering for long- canbeagenuine “It thoughtful,” Julynotes. surprise, that’s truly inthefridgeasa cake favorite ofcheese- kind heleaves“If your is. how personalthegift verbally.” how toknow express it of regret, onlyhedidn’t have beenareal gesture of thedoubt. might It “Yet give himthebenefit still upset,” Amadorsays. and thentellhimyou’re he’s feeling.“Thankhim, probe himabouthow note reading “I love you,” chocolates camewith a tion prize.” thebox If of be tossing you aconsola- was to blame, hemight says. “Nomatter who sincere apology,” July aren’t accompanied by a to talkthrough adispute. a dudedoesn’t want screen when be asmoke But thesegoodiescan roses orjewelry, right? bestowing you with dissuade aguyfrom ou Also take into account into account Also take that “Beware ofgifts ’d to becrazy C OSMOPOLIT AN.COM
ROSES CAN BE A SMOKE SCREEN WHEN A DUDE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK THROUGH YOUR DISPUTE.
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 69 Man Manual Th His Clothes His get enough of him. get enoughofhim. like you’re sayingyoucan’t it’s nothing buthisshirt, him asexgod. would pretty muchmake wild sexgoddess,that if hecouldturnoneintoa buttoned-up anduptight.So therefore, smokin’. out istotallytwisted…and, the thoughtofthemmaking much ofagoodthing.Plus, the better. won’t beinhibited,somuch up front thatthewoman hard forit...andifheknows Yo They’r Librarians Ther Hot Twin Sisters want tohaveworkvery Sometimes aguyjustdoesn’t Chicks Supervampy When youputonhisshir On By... TurnedSo Why H 70 u Wearing e’ AUTHOROF SOURCE: CHRISTOPHER BLAZINA, PHD, SOURCE: CHRISTOPHERBLAZINA,PHD, s no such thing as too s nosuchthingastoo e supposedtobe COSMOPOLIT THE SECRETLIVESOFMEN account. account. up onhis button it Hey, don’t e e
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GuyReport / MARCH 2010 “ D When awomanstar like oneofyourgirlfriends?’ her andsay, ‘Hey, whoa,waitaminute here,doIlook Decision” Dumbest UMB ADVICEHE’SGETTING GUYPINION help himlove This trickwill a sweater. any gift…even Fashion Fashion “My
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were.” breathable they kept sayinghow salesman—he I blamethe Caribbean vacation. a playboy on look likeanItalian that mademe peach loafers “I hadthese Who doesn’tlikegifts? PERFECT THE FOR HIM PRESENT best girlfriendever. just thinkhehasthe to payyouback—he’ll worry aboutneeding him one,hewon’t you already owed weekend.” Ifhethinks “Thanks fordrivinglast with anotelike your giftathisplace attached, leave there are nostrings make sure heknows Mason University. To psychology atGeorge associate professor of Todd Kashdan,PhD, return thefavor,” says as anobligationto the blue.“Menviewit given apresent outof uneasy whenthey’re recent study, guysfeel W ell, according toa —Abe, C OSMOPOLIT — datingdummies.com
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Man Manual ‘‘Crazy Ex’’ ‘‘Crazy About His Th H IS SIDE 72 ready tocallBS. tale, you’llbe whacked-out you hearthis So nexttime bag ortwo. dated anut claims tohave every man explains why He Called?, Why Hasn’t coauthor of Matt Titus, Dating coach COSMOPOLIT e
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MARCH 2010 ings guys ings an intelligentwoman, reformed. They act reformed. Theyact 2 not hedeservesher. wrong andwhetheror things hehasdone he thinksaboutallthe 1 Bad boys can be Bad boyscanbe When aguydates
that those of us raised that thoseofusraised manners. Justknow 3 stand them. you canusuallyunder- the bottomofthat, reason. Ifyougetto that wayforacertain Lots of guys lack Lots ofguyslack but we do get there. but wedogetthere. to comethatpoint, takes usalittlelonger just liveforyourself.It we realizeyoucan’t 10 it’s unfair. they look.Weknow on womenabouthow pressure thatisput 9 ing inarelationship. way ofcommunicat- used astheprimary 8 easier thatway. us what’swrong.It’s you’re not.Justtell you’re finewhen 7 little more. kick upourgamea They makeuswantto by smartwomen. 6 to bethere. special, wefindways When arelationshipis a relationshipfail. isn’t anexcusetolet 5 comfortable, it’ssexy. wearing sweatsandis comfortable. Ifsheis to agirlwholooks 4 to makeupforit. they’re lackingandtry women noticethat to opendoorsfor but neversay. what menthink crush reveals Our curr Men are intimidated Men areintimidated Guys areattracted A busy schedule A busyschedule We understand the We understandthe Texting shouldn’tbe Don’t tellaguy As men get older, As mengetolder, C OSMOPOLIT ent celeb AN.COM
Ken Browar/Icon International
fun fearless
Zip-Pocket Skirt Martin + Osa, $69.50, martinandosa.com
Snakeskin Bangles Ted Rossi, $65 to $198 each, henribendel.com
Back off, denim! Khaki is making a comeback as the season’s must-have basic. Belted Bandage Dress Grass, $59, 800-BUYMACY
BOY BY BAND OF OUTSIDERS Slouchy Cropped Pants Old Navy, $26.50, 800-OLDNAVY
Sequined Shorts J.Crew, $198, jcrew.com Fashion editor and stylist: Karen Larrain. (Runway) firstview.com. (Runway) firstview.com. Fashion editor and stylist: Karen Larrain.
Minitrench Crisscross
ALA/STUDIO D. ALA/STUDIO D. Aryn K., $90,
Y Python Sandals dillards.com Coach, $198,
JESUS A coach.com
See page 234 for shopping information. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 79 fun fearless fashion Rock the New Runway
Naughty Sexy Sporty Cowgirl Rocker Siren The West never Pairing a A striped cotton looked so damn distressed tee top goes good! Make sure with a killer suddenly glam the shirt’s fitted. leather jacket when you add a And the skirt? shows you like flashy necklace Supershort. it, um, rough. and stilettos.
Scarf, Lulla by Bindya, $30, anthropologie.com
Jacket, Lulu*s, $75, lulus.com; shirt, LNA Clothing, $80, lnaclothing.com Necklace, Lydell NYC, $42, lydellnyc.com D&G BALMAIN ADAM
Belt, United Colors of Benetton, $49, 800-535-4491
Pants, Martin+Osa, $79.50, martinandosa .com
Shirt, Divine Rights of Denim, $88, 800-BUYMACY; skirt, Top, Splendid, $59, E Street American Eagle Outfitters, Denim Co., 847-433-8338; $44.50, ae.com skirt, DKNY Jeans Jrs., $59, zappos.com Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. Stylist: Amri Kibbler. (Runway) firstview.com. Amri Kibbler. Stylist: Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. .
Shoes, Baby Phat Boots, Jessica Simpson by Kimora Lee Collection, $129, Boots, Go Jane, Simmons, $59, 800-BUYMACY $28.60, 212-799-3100 gojane.com KEVIN SWEENEY/STUDIO D
80 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM KEVIN SWEENEY/STUDIO D. Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. Stylist: Amri Kibbler. (Runway) firstview.com. Lo
See page 234 forshoppinginformation. ISABEL MARANT Apparel, $36, American collective.com; shirt, Jacket, BBDakota,$100, belt, LeatherIsland,$69.95, planetblue.com PlanetBlue,$118, .com; skirt, .com chineselaundry Laundry Boots, Chinese , $129, , $129, o americanapparel.net;
ks Rebel Uptown What doy fireworks. boots? Fashion motorcycle fierce tweed with when you mix dakota dakota endless endless shop shop .com kimgilby Gilby, $140, Kim Scarf, ou get
W showstopping ensembles have will everyonechecking you out. h ether your fashion mood of the moment is feminine or tough, these is your moment feminine fashionether ortough, moodofthe these ae.com Outfitters, $29.50, American Eagle .com; belt, bananarepublic Republic, $79.50, Pants, Banana
STELLA MCCARTNEY dares himto A deephalter Vi Classic (barely) PG. pants keepit loose-fitting with hiseyes; undress you cosabella.com $96, Halter, Cosabella, 850-438-7114 Mainly Shoes, Shoes, Schutz,$155, xen shop
MARCH 2010 $49.99, .com; dress, JohnnyMartin, Jacket, Diesel,$160,
.com charlotterusse Russe, $26.99, Booties, Charlotte CYNTHIA STEFFE getthatstyle.com / COSMOPOLIT diesel diesel lace-up booties. and jacket sleek cropped dress witha of aruffledfloral S C Seductress u w t the frilliness t thefrilliness eet eet AN 81
fun fearless fashion
$34 Pants, Lulu*s, Serious Bang lulus.com for $300 A whole wardrobe for the cost of a couple pairs of jeans? Oh, yes. Mix and match the latest essentials and you’ll always have something to wear.
$50 $44 Skirt, Jack BB Dakota, fredflare.com Dress, Roxy, roxy.com
$30 Watch, Fred Flare, fredflare.com
$24.50 Camisole, Ann Taylor Loft, loftonline.com
$60 Jacket, ELLE,
kohls.com Amri Kibbler. ALA/STUDIO Stylist: Fashion editor: D. Karen Larrain. $54 Y Shoes, KensieGirl Shoes, kensiegirl.com JESUS A
86 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 See page 234 for shopping information. COSMOPOLITAN.COM fun fearless fashion
Eye LANVIN Candy A single in-demand Heavy-Metal accessory will take your Necklace outfit from ho-hum to For instant chic, slip on this statement “Oh, wow!” in seconds flat. stunner with a simple solid-color tee. Gunmetal necklace, Blu Bijoux, $80, maxandchloe.com; flower bib necklace, Lydell NYC, $125, lydellnyc.com THAKOON
Bag, High Strappy Clutch Fashion, $250, The new way to carry a 416-444-9857 small shoulder bag? In Shoes, Report Color-Splashed Heels the palm of your hand. Pick Signature, one with a decorative Rainbow hues are a superfun $195, leather or metallic strap. alternative to animal prints. Dare to reportshoes HERRERA CAROLINA wear them with other wild patterns. .com
Skinny Belts Bracelets, R.J. For a fresh look, take two Graziano, $35 each, slim belts in contrasting 212-685-1248 materials—like metallic 3.1 PHILLIP LIM and patent leather— and loop them through each other.
Belts, J.Crew, (top) $24.50, (bottom) CHANEL $29.50, jcrew.com Fashion editor and stylist: Karen Larrain. (Runway) firstview.com. (Runway) firstview.com. Fashion editor and stylist: Karen Larrain. Lucite Bangles The light, clear shell balances
out the tough chain-link. Pile ALA/STUDIO D. Y on a few of them or mix with
bracelets you already own. JESUS A
88 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM fun fearless fashion Fresh Picks Necklace, Lenora Dame, $96, Spring’s floral craze may be winknyc.com sweet…but innocent? Not when applied to Cosmo-esque styles. Top, Johnny Martin, $34.99, getthatstyle.com
Blouse, American Eagle Outfitters, $34.50, ae.com
Shorts, A.P.C., $150, apc.fr ws.com. CHRISTIAN DIOR
Taylor Swift pacificcoastne Jeans, Gerlan, $240, 212- 966-4066
Dress, MM Couture by Miss Me, $92, Rings, Fred Flare, missme.com $12 each, fredflare.com Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. Stylist: Amri Kibbler. (Runway) firstview.com. (Swift) Ben Dome/ (Runway) firstview.com. Amri Kibbler. Stylist: Fashion editor: Karen Larrain. Shoes, Marc Fisher, Bracelet, $89, marcfisher Forever 21, footwear.com ALA/STUDIO D. ALA/STUDIO D.
$5.80, Y forever21
.com JESUS A
90 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 See page 234 for shopping information. COSMOPOLITAN.COM
The hot trends, tips, and stuff beautyNEWS you’ve gotta try this month
CELEB LOOK Anne's real-life Optical Illusion version of the Choosing a shadow based on your eye shape can White Queen give you a bigger, more gorgeous gaze. Consult this chart to discover the best one for you. EYE SHAPE EYE SHAPE EYE SHAPE Oval Round Almond rtis/Starpix. rtis/Starpix.
IDEAL IDEAL IDEAL SHADOW SHADOW SHADOW Pearlescent Liquids offer A powder creams a sheer wash slides best into capture and of color— the upswept reflect light, all your large, outer corners, making naturally where it stays narrow eyes flirty peepers put without appear bigger. really need. creasing. TRY TRY TRY Revlon Chanel Fluid Givenchy Shadow in Iridescent Eyeshadow Electric Eyeshadow in in Modish Pop, $6.50 Delta, $32 Brown, $29 Red Lips and Bold Brows Anne Hathaway, who plays the White Queen in Alice in Wonderland (out this month), sports her character’s crimson pout and SOURCE: MAKEUP ARTIST MATHEW NIGARA, OF N.Y.C. NEW YORK COLOR dark arches offscreen too. To do it, apply a scarlet lipstick and a brown brow gel, says POLL L.A. makeup artist Kate Lee. Would You Flaunt a Faux Tattoo? Bling It On Go from dull to dazzling with luxe light- % reflecting formulas enriched with gold, 37 diamonds, and pearls. (Hathaway, from left) Todd Williamson/WireImage; © Disney Enterprises Inc. All Rights Reserved. (Miller) courtesy of Marion Cu All Rights Reserved. Williamson/WireImage; © Disney Enterprises Inc. Todd from left) (Hathaway, CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. (1) Estée Lauder YES 2 Re-Nutriv Ultimate 1 % Lifting Creme, $250: Crushed pearls give (Stills) .CO.UK. 63 Y drab skin an instant NO glow. (2) OPI Nail EYECAND We get it: Temporary tats don’t serve much of a Lacquer in DS Glow, purpose…except this one. Not only does it let $12.50: Diamond you wear your inner badass on your sleeve (or dust keeps nails super- wrist, as Marisa Miller demonstrates), but it’s also shiny. (3) LaRocca ART MCKENZIE/ scented with the new Victoria’s Secret Love Rocks Shield Multi-Active Lip STU fragrance, $39. Even better: It’s free at VS stores. Balm, $18: Swipe on this gold-flecked, anti- microbial gloss post- 3
(Illustrations) make-out session.
See page 234 for shopping information. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 93 beauty HIS PICKS
Seductive New Scents Curious to know what guys think of the latest fragrances, we blindfolded a few and started spritzing. Here’s what they fell for most. Beyoncé Givenchy SJP NYC, $35 Heat Eau de Ange ou Smells like: Parfum, $49 Démon Le Strawberry, Smells like: Secret, $95 gardenia, Honeysuckle, Smells like: vanilla, and almond, Jasmine, white sandalwood macaroon, peony, and Stud says: and musk patchouli “This belongs Stud says: Stud says: on the girl “Oh, baby, “Definitely the “The girl who next-door. She you're making me so...greasy?” sexiest of the wears this is sweet and bunch; it really knows exactly innocent and screams sex- what she never tries too pot!” —Nick, 27 wants.” —Ian, 28 hard.” —Egan, 26 Man-Related Breakouts (Aniston) Jim Spellman/WireImage. CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. (Stills) Frustrated with acne that keeps popping up on one side of your face? The cause could be how you snuggle and snooze with your guy. Resting on his chest, arm, or shoulder transfers pore- clogging sweat and oil to your skin, says NYC derm Heidi Wal- dorf. Use a salicylic-acid cleanser to deep-clean skin postcuddle.
Are You Too Comfy (Couple) Nicola Majocchi/folio-id.com. With Him? Being super-laid-back—at least when it comes to your grooming routine—can put the brakes WE ASKED on sexy. Tally your score to find out if you’re overly cozy. How long has it SCORING: been since your last bikini 0 to 2 points:In his 100 wax or trim? eyes, you’re effortlessly Guys on Add 1 point for each month gorgeous (way to keep him guessing). the Street 3 or 4 points:You’ve Have you ever kept some maintenance Do you care if a girl asked him to pop a hard- a mystery. Now sweep styles her hair the to-reach pimple? the rest under the rug. same way every day? Add 2 points if yes 5points or more: Warning: You’re nearing Do you routinely let him turn-off levels! Book a % % wax, get a zit-fighting 29 71 see you while wearing a Jennifer Aniston shower cap, zit cream, or body wash, and do up- YES NO sticks to her whitening strips? keep on his boys’ night. signature do SOURCE: HELEN FISHER, PHD, AUTHOR (hey, it works!). Add 1 point for each yes OF WHY HIM? WHY HER?
94 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 See page 234 for shopping information. COSMOPOLITAN.COM
beautyLOOT
Green Alert! Amazing Kisser Cosmo’s Hydrating collagen Bye-Bye, Blotches ecofriendly softens and fattens lips Loaded with soothing find while you snooze. essential oils, this p.m. serum nixes redness. , $9.95 umper Lip Pl en PM Hans Sally Wake Up Sexier!
These overnight sensations work Midnight Concentrate, Recovery $39
while you sleep, leaving you Kiehl’s with clearer skin, plumper lips, and healthier hair by the a.m. 24/7 Pit Protection It takes a full night’s sleep for skin to absorb deo, so apply it before bed. Finger Food Safflower-seed oil takes Moisture Fairy tips from ragged to This avocado-oil-infused cocktail-ring-ready. mask creates silky, facial- like results by morning.
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L’Oréal Paris EverStrong Overnight Repair Treatment, $8.99 smedicine Nighttime Blemish Powder, $38 Powder, Nighttime Blemish smedicine o C CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D
98 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 See page 234 for shopping information. COSMOPOLITAN.COM beautyLOOT The Perfect Pink for You Wearing the right shade of this perky hue is like caffeine for your face...and anyone who looks at you will feel the buzz.
If Your Skin Is Fair If Your Skin Is Medium If Your Skin Is Dark
Shimmering pale pinks Rose and mauve tones Fruit-punch-like pinks offer a soft “I woke up marry pink and brown: pop for a spotlight- this gorgeous” glow. the perfect mix for you. stealing effect. et Pink, $26 Suns h in Blus ood ollyw 40 ry H , $ s Ve ink Kor e P chael tag mmel Blush in Pink Sorbet, $2.84 r Mi Vin Ri aude in tée L ush Es rBl Dio
Delicately Daring Swipe it all the way up cheekbones. The “lace” makes your skin look luminous. Royal Flush For a sexy aura, Bombshell Appeal extend blush beyond Get a bold burst of Subtle Yet Sultry cheeks to your nose, color on the apples Brush this glistening chin, and forehead. hue on lids or use it of your cheeks by as a highlighter using a fluffy brush. Go-Go Glamour across brow bones. Place color on lids only (don’t go above the crease) for a peek of rich pink. 0 .5 6 1 $ , n ee
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All Lacquered Up Mouth-Watering CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D The specks of glitter Acaí berry and capture light, pomegranate making your pucker drench lips in appear plumper. a juicy hue. verGirl ShineBlast Lip Gloss in Radiate, $7.49 Co
inique Vitamin C Lip Smoothie Lip Colour in Goodness Grapecious, $17.50 l
C 100 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 See page 234 for shopping information. COSMOPOLITAN.COM
beautyQ+A
XvxryEvery month, month, wx answxrwe answer bunch a bunch of your of burningyour bxautyburning quxstions. beauty questions.
Is it cool or cheesy Q to mismatch your nails and toes?
The look can work, but A color coordination is key. “Choose two hues in the What’s lingering same shade family,” says under this Suzi Weiss-Fischmann, artistic gorgeous mane? director for OPI. To rock the purple trend that’s so hot right now, paint a grapeish tone on toes and lavender on tips.
(Top) Nicole by OPI in Violet Vibe, $8; Essie in Does an itchy scalp mean I have Lilacism, $8 Q major product buildup?
”Not if you wash your hair daily,” says Neal Schultz, A MD, founder of DermTV.com. In that case, you Each time I shave probably have mild dandruff (it doesn’t cause flakes), Q my legs, I miss which can be cleared up with a zinc-rich shampoo, like random sections. How Head and Shoulders Smooth and Silky, $5. If you’re not do I get every inch? a regular sudser, oil and lingering product are probably to blame. Add a wash a week until you stop itching. Use low-foaming A shave gel to track your blade’s path. “If you still see it on your legs, you’ll know you skipped a spot,” Is it okay to use face towelettes says Diane Wood, master instead of cleanser every day? barber for King of Shaves. Q Follow up by running your As long as they’re made with an anti-inflam- hand along your skin to feel A matory, like green tea, which counteracts the for spiky patches. wipes’ often irritating fibers, says NYC derm Neil Sadick. Try Bioré Make-Up Removing Towelettes, $8.
Eyeliner on my lower lashes Score legs as Q always smudges. Help! touchable as Gabrielle After applying a no-budge waterproof Union’s. A pencil (like Rimmel Exaggerate Water- proof Eyeliner, $5.70), gently press it into skin with a stiff eyeliner brush to add staying power. Finish by dusting translucent powder on your under-eye area. This will prevent your skin’s oils from pulling down the pigment. STEP 1 STEP 2 MCKENZIE/ EYECANDY.CO.UK. STUART KIM MYERS ROBERTSON. from left) SteveCHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. Granitz/FilmMagic.
SOURCE: NYC MAKEUP ARTIST EMILY KATE WARREN op to bottom, (T COSMOPOLITAN.COM/BEAUTYQA Have a question for Cosmo’s primping pros? Ask it here!
See page 234 for shopping information. COSMOPOLITAN.COM
beauty CHEAT SHEET .CO.UK. How to Y Make the EYECAND Prettiest Try Shakira's night- out touch: Hide an elastic with a lock Ponytail of your hair.
This style is so much more than MCKENZIE/ (Illustrations) STUART CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D.
a bad-hair-day fix. Sex it up with (Still) these red carpet–inspired tricks.
THE PRO: Harry Josh, international creative consultant for John Frieda (Shakira) Jason Merritt/Getty Images. THE PREP: Blow-dry hair straight with a round brush, which will create volume at the roots and make strands supersmooth. THE TECHNIQUE: Frizz Fighter Pat a drop of John Frieda Root Awaken- ing Strength Restoring Smoothing Use a pad- Now tip When gath- Style your Section off Lotion, $6.49, 1 dle brush 2 your head 3 ered hair is 4 bangs— 5 the tail into over your to remove any back, and level with your don’t slick them three parts, and finished style. tangles, then gather strands eyes, secure it back into the wrap each around comb your hair into a pony- with an elastic ponytail. And let a curling iron straight back so tail. Leaning band. Wrap it short layers for 10 seconds. that you don’t creates volume tight (shoot for hang naturally, Gently brush have a part. plus prevents three loops) rather than out the curls for a part lines so that the band forcing them bouncy, total and bumps. doesn’t sag into the elastic. bombshell effect. and look sloppy. A wispy, piecey look is sexy.
106 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 See page 234 for shopping information.
COSMO BEAUTY BOOK
Get a Gorgeous
Smokin’ for spring: Cool-toned highlights Hair Hue Greg Conraux/folio-id.com; (Lewis) Byron Purvis/AdMedia/Sipa Press/AMAAMSIPA; (Chloe) gorunway.com. Tina’s huepicksare perfect with alipgloss−likewand). ers, $11,goesoneasily disappears inawash(Streek- temporary hairpaintthat tipped hair. Playcopycatwith seen Tina’s blue-andpurple- addicted to Two-Tone If you,likeus,are totally T Streaking Go T colorist Marcy Cona. looking skunky,” saysClairol trast givesdimensionwithout strands only. “Theslightcon- and applythemixtohanging (everything aboveyourears), Clip upthetophalfofyourhair “Find theRightShade,”above). than yourcurrent hue(see dye that’s twoshades deeper Grab aboxofsemipermanent ing theirunderlayersslightly. Leona Lewis,whoare darken- ake acuefr Leona Lewis r y theNew
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Naturally Fringe ing tothebox’s instructions. absorbed, andrinseaccord- with ablow-dryersoitgets Apply mixtodryhair, heat NYC coloristLisaChiccine. plant’s orangecast,” says instead tocounteractthe brunet orred, usehotcoffee it withhotwater, but“ifyou’re instructions willtellyoutomix $9.99) foryourshade.The (a popularpick:AvigalHenna, über-rich andshiny. nent gloss,makingcolor and actslikeasemiperma- these natural-is-bettercases plant-based dyeisidealfor pregnant, tryhenna.The supersensitive, oryou’re too damaged,yourscalpis because yourstrandsare your strands. willsoften nourishing yogurt a week,and—bonus!—the strawberry sexpotforabout says Knights.You’ll bea then rinseafterfiveminutes, damp hairfrom roots totips, throughComb theyogurt Nicole Kidman–esqueblush. enough foryou. minutes. Rinsewhenit’s light ing, checkcoloreveryfive ments. To prevent overbleach- the row inhalf-inchincre- wrap itinfoil.Continueacross width sectionofhair, then too bigforbangs)toapinkie- (the kit’s applicatorisusually apply bleachwithatoothbrush lighting kitforyourshade, suggests Zeller. Usingahigh- If youmustbypasshairdye Highlight yourbangsonly Y Boost Frost Y Choose a henna powder Choose ahennapowder our Hue our Hue See page 234 forshoppinginformation.
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(Products) CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D. (Yogurt and comb) JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D. Food stylist: Matt Vohr for Halley Resources. (Larter) Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage.
guywatch Stud Meter Check out which guys are getting sexier by the minute…and who’s totally turning us off.
Kellan Lutz This sexy star adopted Kevin, a sick Chihuahua, and nursed him back to health. Cough, cough… we need nursing too! George Clooney There’s nothing more studly than bringing your girlfriend and your mom to a premiere. Jay-Z and Will Smith The hip-hop heavy- weight and A-list actor are coproducing the Broadway show Fela! Jerry O’Connell We love that you’re man enough to admit you like Miley Cyrus’s music. Robert Pattinson Our R-Patz make-out fantasies cooled (just a little) after he called his hygiene disgusting. Mario Lopez It’s great that you can go potty by yourself, but there’s no need to dem- onstrate it to everyone. Busta Rhymes He’s reportedly been ordered to pay $75k after throwing water bottles at a guy who left his concert. Anthony Michael Hall Police say the ‘80s star
(Jay-Z) Larry Busacca/WireImage for American Express. (Smith) Michael Tran/FilmMagic. (Pattinson) Dave Hogan/Getty Images. (Rhymes) (Rhymes) (Pattinson) Dave Hogan/Getty Images. Tran/FilmMagic. (Smith) Michael American Express. (Jay-Z) Larry Busacca/WireImage for allegedly pushed and shoved his girlfriend during a fight. Good luck revitalizing your career tesy of subject. after that heinous act. (Lutz) cour Johnny Nunez/WireImage. (Clooney) Graham Whitby Boot/Globe Photos. (O’Connell) Benassi/splashnews.com. (Lopez) Neilson Barnard/Getty Images. (Hall) ST/splashnews.com. (Hall) ST/splashnews.com. (Lopez) Neilson Barnard/Getty Images. (O’Connell) Benassi/splashnews.com. Whitby Boot/Globe Photos. (Clooney) Graham Johnny Nunez/WireImage.
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 117 guywatch Awesome Aussies Have you noticed how many hot up-and-comers are imports from down under? We did…and just looking at them makes us want to slather on a Vegemite bikini. Yum!
Xavier Samuel Taylor Lautner who? This sexy bloodsucker is the next heartthrob in the Twilight series. Sam Worthington Between Last Night and Clash of the Titans, he’s currently all over the big screen. ca/splashnews.com. ca/splashnews.com.
Ryan Kwanten Sookie’s bro is rarely seen with his shirt on in episodes of True Blood. No complaints here!
Liam Chris Hemsworth Hemsworth He presses these After wowing us in chiseled abs Star Trek, we’d against Miley in The wrestle crocs for a Last Song. Lucky girl. chance to get close to this cutie. etra Images RF/Getty Images. (Samuel) Will Ragozzino/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival. (Liam Hemsworth) Sinky/Mac Film Festival. Tribeca Will Ragozzino/Getty Images for (Samuel) etra Images RF/Getty Images. T (Flag) (Kwanten) Amanda Edwards/Getty Images. (Worthington) Richie Buxo/splashnews.com. (Chris Hemsworth) Sharky/splashnews.com. (Chris Hemsworth) Sharky/splashnews.com. (Worthington) Richie Buxo/splashnews.com. Amanda Edwards/Getty Images. (Kwanten) guywatch
Eddie Cibrian Grow Up, This getup could be the basis for Eddie’s next made-for-TV These cheating movie, Pampered Already! Justice. bastards are guilty of such infantile behavior, we Tiger Woods devised a A little extra punishment junk in the worthy of the trunk is bound to mess with his crime: dressing swing ing—er, swing. them like the man-babies they are. Image Source/Getty from left) fotosearch.com; Image Source/Getty top to bottom, (Bodies, World. ide AP/W ws.com; splashne
Mark Sanford Good luck “hik ing the
Appala chian AKM Images/ Images; Turner/Getty Trail” with diaper rash.
David Letterman We bet he John thought Late Edwards Show staff In this outfit, it’ll meetings be hard for the couldn’t get any well-coiffed more awkward. ex-senator to He was wrong. con vince anyone he’s not Rielle Hunter’s baby
daddy. top to bottom from left) Landov; Dave Cannon/Getty Images; Davis (Heads, Corbis; Image DJ RF/Getty Images. (All diapers) Dorling Kindersley/Getty Images. (Mug) CBS/Jeffrey R. Staab/Landov. (Golf (Golf Staab/Landov. (Mug) CBS/Jeffrey (All diapers) Dorling Kindersley/GettyR. Images; John Lund/TiffanyImages. Schoepp/Blend Images/Corbis; Masterfile/ radiusimages.com/ Corbis; Image DJ RF/Getty Images. Photos have been digitally altered. (Hair dryer) istockphoto.com. (Rimes) Jason Merritt/Getty Images. (Frame) Image Source/Getty Images. (Backpack) PhotoDisc/Getty Images. club) Stockbyte Silver/Getty Images.
120 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Love & Lust What He’s Dying to Hear Guys crave reassurance too. Say “I could do this all day” while pampering his penis to let him know you’re into it. SOURCE: JOEL BLOCK, PHD
She’s heading for spot number two. EMMET MALMSTRÖM. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jamal Hodges at Creative Management. Makeup: Jordy Poon. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Bra: Blush. Pantie: Belabumbum. Earrings: Helen Ficalora. Spots toSpots There ( Se Touch Down work magic on each one. work magiconeach one. Him that makes any man lose that makesanymanlose Cer package trigger insane package triggerinsane Here’s howtofindand Th pleasure—the kind his mind with lust. his mindwithlust. By Bet tain hotzonesonhis xiest hany Hei tman e
) 1 to goforthegold. how youwanthimrightbefore you’reready filled spotwillgethimevenharder—exactly stop combowithafocusonhis mostnerve- that firstinchor2ofhimagain. Thestart- Next, movetotallyoffhim,then takeinjust up anddownonlyontheheadofhispenis. all thewayinsideyouatfirst.Instead,slide during sex,climbontop,anddon’t takehim To surprisehimwithintensesensations effect thatwillbeunexpectedlyarousing. wet, andyourbreathprovidesacooling lightly blowingonit.Your tonguegetshim the tip.Alternatebetweenflickingand your tongue—quickly tip) iscoveredbyyourhands.Thenflick top halfsothathisentirepenis(exceptthe base ofhisshaftandtheotherrighton Pleasur about tostartgivingyouspecificsonhowthey their Most guysaresothrilledwhenyoutouch suggest the sexiest ways to arouse him. suggest thesexiestwaystoarousehim. give usaroadmapforhisprivatepartsand help guideyou,weaskedtopsexexpertsto intense onenight,aslowbuildthenext.”To make sexfeeldifferentforhimeachtime— master variousstimulatingtechniquesto gia. “Onceyouknowthosezones,can ria Brame,PhD,aclinicalsexologistinGeor- spots thatarepackedwithnerves,”saysGlo- penis, andtheareasurroundingit,hascertain out wheretofocusyourattention.“Aman’s they’re appreciative,itcanbehardtofigure like tobehandled.Andwhileit’s greatthat ally starttobepainful,”saysBrame. stimulate theheadofhispenis,itcanactu- touched. “Butliketheclitoris,ifyouover- MARCH 2010 man e himther Wher The T-Spot persensitive spot and will give him persensitive spotandwillgivehim clitoris. Translation: Itisonesu- as manynerveendingsyour ridge up—ofhispenishasabout atomy (in any way!) that they’re not atomy (inanyway!)thatthey’renot a majorjoltofpleasurewhen e itis: / COSMOPOLIT e: Placeonehandatthe Thetip—fromthe , likeasnake’s—over AN 123
The B-Spot Where it is: The area where his shaft Toys for the Boys meets his body (the base) is a big erog- Common household items that enous zone, and manipulating it correctly instantly turn naughty when can actually help him last longer. “By you use them below his belt gripping the base of his penis a certain way, you control blood flow and are able to make him hold off climaxing,” says Brame. “It’s a spot A WARM WASHCLOTH 2that benefits him and you.” That makes this an especially Testicles handle heat better than most other primo area to focus on if you want to take turns pleasing areas down there, so put a warm washcloth each other—you can keep him in the game while you catch over his boys and gently squeeze him through it. up until you’re ready to orgasm together. Pleasure him there: Make a ring using your pointer finger A SHOELACE and thumb, and place it around the base of his penis. With Wrap it around the middle of his shaft once, your other hand, start at the ring and pull up (medium so you have two long ends. Then while giving pressure works best). When you reach the top, bring it back down to the ring you’ve made and start over. Keeping oral attention to his tip, pull on the strings, your fingers at the base blocks the blood flow in his shaft, flossing it up and down. It provides a bit of making him stay aroused without climaxing. And the mo- friction that feels great. tion you’re making with the other hand circulates the blood that’s in the shaft, getting him as hard as possible. A MANGO If you want to try orgasming together (or get as close as Ice can be too cold down there, but fruit has just possible!) during sex, tell him to let you know when he’s the right amount of coolness to cause a feel- near the brink. If you’re not there yet when he gives you good tingle. Chew a small piece of mango (don’t the sign, reach between your bodies (this is easiest in mis- swallow it) then take him in your mouth. You can sionary), and grab him so that your fist is touching the use whatever fruit you have, just don’t try any- bottom of his penis. It mixes up the sensations enough thing too acidic, as it can burn him. that it helps him last longer. You can move your hand slightly up and down in motion with him so that it still feels sexy. When you’re on the verge of release, take your hand A LACE CAMI OR BRA away. He’ll almost instantaneously climax, because sud- Take it off, bunch it up in the palm of your hand, denly, his whole member can enter you again. and glide it over his penis. The lace adds a slightly rough texture against his skin that’s unex- The F-Spot pected and arousing.
Where it is: There’s one area that should A FINE-TOOTH COMB always be part of your down-there rep- Apply a little bit of pressure, and gently slide ertoire: the frenulum—the spot on the the comb’s teeth along his shaft, pulling it underside of his penis where the shaft toward his body so you’re not pushing. The meets the head (look for the tiny raised light scratching gets blood circulating through- bit of skin). “That’s where all the nerve out his member. fibers he feels on the head intersect,” says Ava Cadell, 3PhD, a sex therapist in Los Angeles. And once that area has been stimulated, it continues to feel great even A COTTON BALL after you’ve moved elsewhere. The slight tickle of this little fluff will make him Pleasure him there: Make a tight fist around the base of yearn for a firmer touch. Take a few minutes to his penis, and slightly twist back and forth. At the same tease him by running it up the length of his penis time, use the pad of your pointer finger, and roll it con- and around his testicles before finally giving in to tinuously over his frenulum. The rolling motion mimics a more take-charge grasp. the twisting you’re doing down below, so you’ll be —JULIA MORPURGO similarly fondling both ends of his package, driving him
124 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM EMMET MALMSTRÖM 4 something issmall.Placeyour thumbonthatsexyseam in thepositionyoudowhenyou’retryingtoindicate Pleasure himther wild. Duringthedeed,it’ guys lovehaving theirtesticleslightlysqueezed, so testicles), thenrelease.Repeat afewtimes.Lotsof squeeze soyourfingersalmost meet(inbetweenhis finger ontheseamwhereitmeets hisbackside.Gently where itmeetsthebaseofhis shaftandyourpointer for afewseconds.Ifheflinches,backoff. played with,sotestitoutfirst.Lightlytouchhimthere Just beware,someguysfindthisspottoointensetobe in ontheraphe,whichisveryreceptivetodirectcontact.” know tospendsometimeonhistesticles,theydon’t focus of hisscrotum,”saysBlock.“Unfortunately, whilewomen over. “Therapheistheseamthatrunsdown center crazy withthepumpingforafewseconds. that area.”Sotrydoggie-style,andtellhimtogoreally tions thatlethimmovealotcreatethemostfrictionin Joel Block,PhD,asextherapistinNewYork, “andposi- moves backandforthwhenheinsideyou,”says F-spot. Thereason?“Theskinonhispenisnaturally
explode. make him enough to likely tobe area is the right touching Simply The R-Spot Wher his testicles that’ll make him get tingly all his testiclesthat’llmakehimgettinglyall But there’s afrequentlyforgottenlocaleon any fastmovementmadetowardthem. knee-jerk reactiontotakecoverifthere’s extremely sensitive—you’veseenthat e: e itis:
Put yourthumbandpointerfinger
It’ s eveneasiertotantalizethe s nosecretthathisboysare
5 line, pushalittle hardertogivehimastronger O. used to(orboredby)onefeeling. Ashenearsthefinish him). Try mixingup the pressuresothathedoesn’t get knuckle (ifyouuseyourfingertip, youriskscratching Just reachbetweenhislegs, and pressonitwithyour tingle. TheP-spotisalsoeasyto accessduringmissionary. brings justenoughbloodflowtothatareamakeit suction mimicswhatyoudoonotherpartsofhimand but insteadofasmooch,lightlysuckontheskin.The pleasing area,doublingthefeel-goodthrills. spot), soifyoupresshardenough,you’llhitthatultra- perineum islocatedontopofhisprostate(themaleG- combination ofsensationsthatmostguyslove.”Plus,the is likelytobeenoughmakehimexplode. you savethismovetilltheend,simplytouchingthere seam withonefinger(usea“comehither”motion).If dling him,reachbehindyou,andgentlyscratchthe you’re bothwarmedup,trycowgirlsex.Whilestrad- doing thesametothatridgeismind-blowing.When Pleasur patch. Pursethemtogetherlikeyou’regoinginforakiss, with yourtongue,andbringlipstothispleasure e himther stimulating his penis makes for an erotic stimulating hispenismakesforanerotic says Cadell.“Touching hisperineumwhile thin, makingthenervesmoreaccessible,” of orgasmicpotential.“Theskinthereis testicles andanus—theperineum—isfull Wher The P-Spot MARCH 2010 e: e itis: Duringoral,stoplavishinghisshaft Thepatchofskinbetweenhis / COSMOPOLIT AN 125 N
Love & Lust Habits of Crazy- in-Love Couples
With iconic couples breaking up left and right—no more Reese and Jake : - (—it’s easy to think the odds are stacked against happily ever after. But plenty of relationships stay strong and steamy forever, and yours can too. By Carrie Sloan
126 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM We’ve uncovered the secrets to being that couple—you know, the been-together- forever pair who are so connected, they make the Obamas’ relationship look ten- tative. Granted, you have to have the same values when it comes to things like kids and marriage, but there are other, more surprising factors at play. “Many couples think staying tight requires mag- ical soul-mate status, but in reality, the trick is to establish habits that strengthen your bond,” says Yvonne Thomas, PhD, a psychologist in Los Angeles. We interviewed a team of relationship experts, including Thomas, and pin- pointed exactly what those habits are. From the right way to make up after a So what if it fight to how often you talk about the fu- looks sappy? ture, using these strategies on a regular They’re in love! basis will keep your love going strong forever...or for as long as you want it to.
Other Women See Ben Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Damian Monzillo using Davines Hair Care for Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. using Make Up For Ever. Manicure: Manicure: using Make Up For Ever. Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Hair:Senior fashion editor: Damian Monzillo using Davines Hair Care for Kate Ryan Inc. Rebecca Hessel.
Stiller, You See Ben Affleck ON. One of the biggest secrets to long-lasting lust is also the easiest: tweaking the way
CHRIS CLINT Ashley; (On him) shirt: Neil Barrett; jeans: Degaine. ring: Helen Ficalora. Taylor; necklaces: Emily & (On her) top: Rebecca Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. you think so that you always try to see
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 127 the best in your guy…and helping big, defuse his fury by saying “I can him to do the same. You Keep understand why you’d be mad.” That We’re not suggesting that you ignore Your Fights Clean cooperative, rather than combative, his mistakes or pretend he’s being Conventional wisdom has it that part- approach will help transform a fight sweet when he’s acting like an ass. It’s ners who always (or rarely) duke it out into a conversation. more about reframing your view so are on thin relationship ice. But it’s And if one of you does fly off the you appreciate all the great things he how you fight that matters, not how handle (which is bound to happen has going for him. For example, if he’s often. If your brawls rival trashy Rock every once in a while), do damage so devoted to his job that you feel like of Love smack-downs, your romance control as soon as possible. Make you two barely talk some nights, resist lacks staying power. genuine repair attempts: Apologize, the urge to gripe. Instead, think about “Conflict is inevitable, but nasty be- then laugh or touch him to cut the how much you respect his passion and havior, like finger-pointing and name- tension, says Gottman. These ac- ambition. If you’re the one working calling, shows contempt for each other, tions tell the other person that, no overtime, remind him of how much and that’s sulfuric acid for love,” says matter what you disagree about, he loves to brag about his ultra-accom- relationship researcher John Gott- you’re still on the same team. plished girlfriend or wife. Besides squashing resentment, fo- cusing on what draws you to each other will revive that gotta-have-you- now lust you had in the beginning. “The Love “When starting to date, all couples have an idealized take on each other, Ritual which leads to intense attraction,” says Thomas. “But after six months That to a year, that often fades, and we Keeps Us tend to zero in on what’s wrong with the other person.” Tight” It’s no surprise that fixating on We asked readers faults can make you dissatisfied in how they reinforce the relationship. But simply keeping their connection the good stuff in mind makes your (in ways that don’t union strong because you’re always involve getting naked). Sometimes you need to aware of how lucky you are to have bond over bad food. such an amazing other half.
man, PhD, cofounder of the Gottman Institute in Seattle. You Share the Same Having a On the flip side, if you confront Badass Habits few guilty problems head-on and in a way that Sneaking into posh hotel pools after conveys respect, you can actually get hours, e-mailing your friends-and- pleasures in closer during a fight. “Research shows family discount to everyone and their that the most successful couples use mother, calling in sick and download- common something called the soft start-up ing Xbox game demos all day—hey, when they argue,” says Gottman. everyone has one or two ways that they helps love go The soft start-up works like this: Say break the rules or behave badly. But your guy suddenly bailed on meeting the surprising news is that whether the long you and your friends for dinner one you and your guy agree on which in- haul…and night. Instead of blurting out “You’re fractions are okay—and which ones a total douche bag for not showing aren’t—has a direct impact on the can set up!” go with “Hey, what happened? I longevity of your relationship. was upset that you canceled like that.” This is especially true when it comes off sparks. Or if you’re the one who screwed up to seriously bad-for-you behaviors. A
128 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM CHRIS CLINTON Other’s NaughtyNeeds ders whenitcomestodeepening a-hole-in-the-bed bootydoes won- As youknow Y State UniversityofNewY in thebackofapolicecruiser. make sureyoudon’t endupcuddling go aheadandbebadtogether—just a partnerincrime,”saysThomas.So ate—it canfeelexciting,likeyouhave boundaries youeachfindappropri- certain areasofyourlife—butwithin “If youcanbothbealittlerecklessin together, butitcanalsosetoffsparks. poker giveyousomethingfuntodo bad realityTVorTexas Hold’Em Not onlydoesamutualobsessionwith also helpsyourlovegothelonghaul. harmless guiltypleasuresincommon ers and/ordrinkerseventuallysplit. by, whileabstainerspairedwithsmok- and smokingstayedcloseastimewent rored eachother’s levelsofdrinking study foundthatcoupleswhomir- to eachother, andyou’re alwayslook- tionship; yourbodiesarebrand-new during thefirstmonthsofyour rela- your connection.That’s noproblem ou SatisfyEach Booze and cigarettes aside, having Booze andcigarettesaside,having , lotsofsuperhot,burn- we’ve come.” reminder ofhow far wine. It’s ofa sort a bottleofourfavorite sandwichesand takeout ing room, complete with set uppicnicsintheliv- now, butwe to stilllike ‘picnics.’ We have atable floor andhave nightly onthe put ablanket boyfriend andIwould a coupleofweeks. Somy we didn’t have atablefor into ournewapartment, “ W hen we firstmoved
ork at Buffalo Buffalo —Felicia, 28
dow. Orifhe’s the onewhodigsexcite- during sexorgetitonfrontof awin- if he’dbewillingtokeephis suiton scenarios, askyourcomfort-loving guy side hasyoudreaminguphotrole-play cating aboutsexahabit,saysKerner. work—as longasyoumakecommuni- your guyareopposites,itcanstill come morenaturally. Butifyouand type, keepingeachothersatisfiedwill stantly testoutnewscenarios.” that drivethrillseekershavetocon- they wanttostickwith;don’t have explains Kerner. “Whatevertheylike, there things,“buttheroutineiskey,” and couldbeturnedonbysomeout- other hand,maylikegettingbusyalot up things.Comfortseekers,onthe and arealwayslookingforwaystoamp ers cravenovelty;theygetboredeasily author of says sextherapistIanKerner, PhD, thrill seekersandcomfortseekers,” what theotherpersoncraves. more crucialthatyoustayawareof themselves...and itbecomeseven bedroom personalitiesbegintoreveal zontal. Butafterawhile,yourtrue ing forreasonstobenakedandhori- For example, if your thrill-seeking For example,ifyourthrill-seeking If youbothhappentobethesame “There aretwobasicsexualtypes: “M “ We pickanewtheme Iron Chefonceamonth. quality time.”quality him, andsomeserious members…just me, roommates, nofamily York, whereIlive. No where helives, orNew tion in either Baltimore, room andhave astayca- we willbookahotel oped thisthingwhere cities, sowe’ve devel- W y husbandandIpla e live indifferent She ComesFirst.Thrillseek- —Jessica, 23 y y
both up.” The competition heatsus meals centeredaroundit. each time, thencreate from theweek.” thestresses relax after other one-on-oneand really gettoenjoy each downtime whenwe that pastweek. It’s our shows we DVRedfrom and watchallthe TV inoursweats get cozy “E very Fridayvery night, we MARCH 2010 Endless Surprises other Uncovering newdetailsabouteach Y too andgivehimathrill. pick theonesthatyou’returnedonby list thathecanupdateanytime—then ment, tellhimtocreateasexualwish that transmitter dopamine,whichleadsto nese, triggersthereleaseofneuro- it slipthatyoucancountto20inJapa- in hisseventh-grademusicalorletting each otherforever…and ever. is thedrugthatwillkeepyou high on says Gottman.Thatperpetualnewness who youbothare—aliveandongoing,” you’re slowlypeelingawaylayers of ing firststageofarelationship—when future. “Doingsowillkeepthatexcit- pasts orwhatyou’dliketodointhe You alsocanaskquestionsaboutyour learn somethingnewabouteachother. it—even ifyoubothhateit,you’llstill food ortheoperajustforhellof activities together, liketryingKorean ferent facetsofthemselves.” Thomas. “Theycontinuallyrevealdif- —Michelle, 25 ou BothPack It can be as simple as doing novel It canbeassimpledoingnovel “Partners wholastaren’t static,”says —Holly, 31 isn’t he/shesoawesome , likefindingoutthathestarred / COSMOPOLIT of eachother’s lives.” other andwe’re part we’re ofeach thinking apart. letsusknow It the nightswe spend we gotosleepon once atnightbefore morning andthen each otheronceevery with theideaoftexting the day. Sowe cameup have timeto talkduring and don’t always schedules I have crazy “M y bo
yfriend and yfriend and AN feeling. feeling. —Emily, 22 129 N
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“ The Sneaky Sexy Leg Lock “My guy often finishes too early. But Way I Solved now, when he is on the verge of orgasm and tells me so, I wrap my legs around him really tightly so he can’t Our Sex Issue” thrust, and I stay that way for a min- ute. That calms him down a bit and lets us extend our session.” —Jill, 28 He won’t even know he’s being Bedtime Stories schooled. “When my long-distance love first initiated phone sex, I would clam up because I didn’t really know how to talk dirty. To make it easier, I bought a book of erotic short stories and would read them to him over the phone. Eventually, I became comfortable enough to sex him up telephonically without the literature.” —Greta, 30 Kissing Clinic “My husband is a really soft, gentle kisser. But I crave being kissed hard and with urgency—like he’s been wait- ing all day just to lay one on me. So I purposely rented movies that showed There’s a time and place for being direct, couples making out like mad and then yet with some bedroom glitches, creativity moaned things like ‘Oh, my God— can help you avoid a lot of awkwardness. look at the way he’s kissing her. That These chicks show you how. makes my thighs melt!’ It took a few BY LAURA LEU weeks for the message to sink in, but he finally started putting some passion Film Buff my top, kiss my boobs, take off my and pressure into it.” —Alice, 34 “My guy kept telling me he wanted to undies, go down on me, do mission- videotape one of our sexcapades, but ary, and then do doggie-style. It was Hairy Situation I wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of a like having sex with a robot. So I “I was horrified by my boyfriend’s lack sex tape falling into the wrong hands deprogrammed him by subtly taking of down-there grooming—I felt like I if we ever broke up. Instead, I took the control without his realizing I was needed a weed whacker just to find his full-length mirror out of my closet and doing it. If he was performing oral, I’d junk. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings placed it right next to the bed so we push him on his back and we’d 69. If by telling him how turned off I was, so could watch ourselves when we had he was doing me from I invited him into the sex. It satisfied his desire, and I never behind, I’d flip on my shower with me, BORN FAST? had to worry about the possibility of side so he’d have no handed him a razor, and Manicure: Deana Blackwell at Mark for Make Up For Ever. Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Art of Hair. Hair: Conrad Dornan for Shu Uemura, : Rebecca Hessel. Premature ejacula- seeing myself naked on the Internet.” choice but to switch tion is considered told him he could do —Liz, 30 positions. I must have a psychological whatever he wanted to gone through a hun- problem, but me. Afterward, I told
recent studies link Senior fashion editor
Mr. Roboto dred Cosmo sex tips, it to testosterone, him it was my turn. I “My boyfriend would go through the but it eventually broke hinting it could be trimmed him down and physical. exact same routine every time we had him out of his routine.” SOURCE: JOURNAL OF SEXUAL oohed and aahed about MEDICINE ROBERT WHITMAN. sex: Kiss me for five minutes, take off —Cassie, 30 how good it looked, and and clarity. content, Stories may have been edited for length, Names of readers who share stories and those mentioned in the have been changed to protect their privacy. Bra: H&M. Edward Inc.
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then to drive home the point, I went Give him the down on him right there. He’s kept it right hint groomed ever since!” —Roxy, 26 and he’ll catch on quick. Feeding Her Desires “In typical cliché fashion, my hus- band tends to roll over and fall asleep immediately after sex. Since I like postcoital cuddling and pillow talk, I discovered the trick to blocking the pass-out is to coerce him into the kitchen for a snack. When he’s fin- ished eating, we head back to bed, and he’s more awake to tend to my girlie needs.” —Sarah, 28 Vocal Coaching greater detail. ‘I like spanking’ Too Freaky “A new guy I started dating was became ‘I like to be spanked a few superquiet in bed. I was lucky to get times when I’m close to orgasm.’ That to Fix a moan or two, and sometimes, I totally worked.” —Ann, 29 We don’t care if he looks even had to ask him if he had come. like Brad Pitt and sounds So to get him to pipe up, I thrust Wigging Out like Russell Crowe—this myself against him really hard when “I dated a guy who was into fantasy bizarre behavior is a he did make noise and said, ‘Hearing role-playing, but I felt silly wearing deal breaker. you moan gets me so turned on.’ That anything as elaborate as a costume. I L led to more noise, which led to more would, however, wear wigs, which He hates it when you talk to him during sex but encourages positive reinforcement, until he helped me get into character without you to speak to his penis…as became so vocal, his neighbors prob- it being too weird—in fact, I felt totally long as you address it as ably noticed the change.” —Fanny, 26 uninhibited. I found out that all you Kensington P. Wigglesworth III. need is a new hairdo and a slightly Happy Hour modified accent to transform into a L Every time you switch posi- “My husband is a total morning per- different person—no ridiculous get- tions, he tweets about it. son, and I’m much more of a night owl. up required.” —Lydia, 32 L He refuses to buy sheets for So when I want to get busy at night, his mattress because he’s “not he’s too tired, and when he paws at me Condom Conundrum made of money.” in the morning, I feel too sleepy. I “Condoms have always been a boner L He asks if you’d be up for a figured out the best way to work killer for my boyfriend: He goes limp threesome with Daisy. Daisy is around our off-schedules is to jump whenever he puts one on. So I fixed his German shepherd. him shortly after he gets home from that problem by putting the condom L work. He still gets some morning on for him…with my mouth.” Whenever he sees you shirt- action…but only on the weekends.” —Jen, 30 less, he starts giggling like a —Katie, 29 13-year-old boy. Rubbed the Wrong Way L His least favorite way to do it Repeat Offender “I dated a guy who would rub my cli- is girl-on-top, because your “Whenever I told my boyfriend about toris like he was scouring the bath- torso blocks the TV. something I liked in bed, it would room sink. Rather than tell him that L Instead of playing seductive : H&M. become his sole focus. When I men- he was being way too rough, I told him background music, he blasts tioned that I like being spanked, he that it would really turn me on if he Keyboard Cat. smacked my butt so many times dur- watched me masturbate. He loved it, L ing foreplay and sex that it hurt for a but more important, he was able to see His butt cheek is pierced. couple of days. So I decided to start what kind of touch got me off.”
explaining what turns me on in much —Allie, 25 ROBERT WHITMAN. Underwear
132 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Love & Lust Tales of Over-the-Top Romance
We’re big fans of sweetness, but these unrestrained lovey-dovey gestures trigger our gag reflex. BY JESSICA KNOLL
senior year, my whole family and then he cut it out and drove up for it, but my boy- framed it. It was a nice friend said he had too much gesture, but that thing was work and couldn’t make it. so over-the-top, it went I was so upset, I hung up on right to the back of my Oh, no, he didn’t. him when he told me. closet.” —Mina, 25 “Fast-forward to after the show, during a recep- Tear-Jerking tion in the theater lobby. I Journal It’s safe to say that joked that I was going to was mingling with my fam- “My high-school boyfriend most guys have an miss it more than anything ily and friends when we and I had been dating for a allergy to all things romantic: else about our trip. heard this loud, dramatic year when I went on a We’re talking flowers, can- “He really took my com- music. There in a corner weeklong vacation to Mex- dles, poetry, and other items ment to heart. When was my guy with a tape ico. I didn’t have phone that symbolize the goopy Christmas came around, he player, wearing a pink tutu service there, so I went all side of love. But there’s a giddily handed me my over his jeans, doing this week without talking to small percentage who get present: two of the robes hilarious ballerina dance. him. When I got home, he really into the stuff. When from the hotel, one for him, He told me he felt so bad presented me with a we asked Cosmo readers to one for me. I was so happy for bailing that he wanted 20-page journal he’d kept tell us the most sap-orific until I saw that he’d had our to make it up to me. I’m not in my absence. In way too move their man ever made, pet name for each other, sure how making a total much detail, he’d written we got lots of responses— Muffin, stitched on the fool of himself accom- about how much he missed stories that were so funny back of each robe. As if that plished that, but still, it was me. It was just so cringe- and over-the-top, they sent weren’t cheesy enough, my the most ridiculous thing worthy, I feel like vomiting our mush meter into hyper- robe read Muffin Girl, and anyone’s ever done for me, whenever I remember it.” drive. Check them out. his read Muffin Man. He so I forgave him.” —Ali, 25 —Hope, 21 was so proud of his gift, I Comfy, didn’t have the heart to tell Roses Are Red... Cozy Crime him that I doubted I’d ever Like My Face SAPPY ENDINGS “When my boyfriend and I wear it.” —Cait, 32 “For our one-year anni- A recession can’t curb the need for a Prop stylist: Nancy Sotomayor. Balloon: Balloons to Go. Balloon: Balloons to Go. Prop stylist: Nancy Sotomayor. traveled together for the versary, a former boyfriend goopy read: Sales . first time, we stayed in a So You Think wrote me a poem about of romance novels luxe hotel room that had You Can Dance? how much he loved me. went up 8% in the fourth quarter of these amazingly soft, fluffy “Every fall, the college He had typed it up in a ’09 compared to the white robes. I lounged dance group I was part of cursive font so it would same time last year. SOURCE: HARLEQUIN CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D around in mine so often, I puts on a big show. My look romantic and fancy, ENTERPRISES
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With Sap guy mostgirlswouldhave “I usedtodatethisromantic Ser from workonmybirthday “My husbandpickedmeup Say GnomeMor 136 loves me.” sons whyhe‘gnomes’ had writtendozensofrea- nal. Here’s thekicker:He statue holdingasmalljour- including agarden-gnome gnome-related gifts, table wascoveredwith home, thedining-room end ofit,butwhenwegot largest gardengnome. a farmthathadtheworld’s he hadorganizedapicnicat were heading.Itturnsout, had zerocluewherewe hour intothecountry—I for me.We droveaboutan and saidhehadasurprise up withhim.” handle themushandbroke night, Irealizedcouldn’t straight home.Laterthat tend toenjoyit,thenwent annoyed, butItriedtopre- of apicnicspread.Iwasso friend ofhissittinginfront There wasmyguyanda you fortherestofmylife.” singing, “Ijustwannalove guitar playingandsomeone When Igotthere,hearda go toalocalfootballfield. from himinstructingmeto day atwork,Ifoundanote he crossedtheline. course meals.Butonenight, house, andcookingmefive- lighting candlesalloverhis prising mewithrosesinclass, to convertmeintoasap:sur- He dideverythinghecould loved, butIamnotthattype. “I thoughtthatwasthe “On mycarafteralong enaded COSMOPOLIT
—Chelsea, 19 —Liesa, 35 AN e /
MARCH 2010 Awkwardness) Display of Boyfriend PDA (P who wasalittlemushy “I startedseeingthisguy and Itooka10-dayvacation. “One summer me aboutittothisday.” later said.Myfamilyteases while hewaswaiting, wich—in casehegothungry and agrilled-cheesesand- a bouquetofroses,balloons, drenched insweat,holding found himcroucheddown, shifted itaroundabit,we prise—after mysisterandI inside, and—surprise,sur- boyfriend wasprobably the porch.Ihadafeelingmy Then wesawahugeboxon that readWelcome Home. saw abanneronourgarage When wecamehome, and dumpedhim.” immediately deletedit before Igotwindofitand for alloffiveminutes song everyday. Itwasup singing memyfavorite to makemehappy, suchas he woulddosappythings promised thatifIsaidyes be hisgirlfriend,andhe to getitalloutthere. had topostasecondtime even fitintoonepost;he It wassolongthatitdidn’t longest Facebookpostever. explained hisfeelingsinthe a this withmeinprivate,like ously. Insteadofdiscussing he wantedtodatemeseri- all changedoncehedecided at first,Ididn’t mind.That in aBox “In it, he asked if I would “In it,heaskedifIwould normal ublic person,he , myfamily
—Kristen, 18
—Kelly, 30 , but , but
Candle Wax surface where he’d placed surface where he’d placed had spilledalloverevery tea lights—notsomuch.It wax fromthoseromantic to vacuumaway, but the The rosepetalswereeasy what amistakethatwas. bed withoutcleaningup. of tealights.We wentto with redrosesanddozens my apartmentdecorated so Iwassurprisedtofind anniversary ormybirthday, one night.Itwasn’ plans tomeetatmyplace “My boyfriendandImade House of “The nextday, Irealized Put yourandguy’s Personalized M&Ms yourself lucky. Google itandconsider ing abominations? craptastic cupid-shoot- Never seenoneofthese Love-Gun Catapult bag,please. Barf withlove. your heart bolize hispiercing It’s supposedtosym- Necklace andArrow Heart sweetness. overdose ofsaccharine diabetic shockduetoan watch everyonegointo order candiesand faces onthesemade-to-
section, rightnexttotheV They should sell these in the dairy They shouldselltheseinthedairy t our
Gifts Ever Gifts Cheesiest
one totakeaphotoofusat on ahike,weaskedsome- “While myguyandIwere Sa everything.” and stillcouldn’t getridof them. Iscrubbedfordays over-the-top.” time onit,butitwastoo because he’dspentatonof had toactlikeIlovedit ist, andIlikedthephoto. Well, heisn’t exactlyanart- sweet tosketchitforme. he thoughtitwouldbe our one-yearanniversary, my favoritepicofus,sofor the topoftrail.Itwas bother extractingit. dollar bill,noonewill your noteonahundred- unless you’vewritten know whattosay; Don’t worryifyoudon’t Message inaBottle 4-foot-tall rose. respect” quitelikea lost allmyself- you somuch,I’ve Nothing says“Ilove Giant Flower together, youare. Ew. you aren’t sleeping on itmeansevenwhen names embroidered A pillowcasewithyour Pillowcase Personalized y Cheese T he he C OSMOPOLIT elveeta. —Rachel, 1 —Jozefina, 30 AN.COM 9 N
Courtesy of Mars Chocolate North America
Love & Lust
NIf you’re hungry, forgo BONDING ordering a pizza and BONUS instead break out red Connecting with another person wine and cheese. It will boosts the level continue the sensual vibe of the hormone progesterone, you had going, and the reducing stress.
antioxidants in the vino SOURCE: UNIVERSITY OF will increase blood flow, MICHIGAN STUDY relaxing both of you.
N Upgrade your usual postsex shower by giving each other neck rubs. The bonding hormones oxytocin and prolactin that are released when you climax are also triggered by touch, so the massage will extend the feelings of closeness.
N Before you get busy, turn off anything with an on button, like your cell phones, laptops, and TV. That way, the only thing you’ll be plugged into afterward is each other, not your Facebook news feed or DVR queue.
N Instead of rolling over once the action is done, drape one of your legs over his and rest You never know, these tips just might lead to round two. your hands on his chest. It will keep you con- nected without doing the spooning thing.
N One word: candles. Light a few after you hook up (instead of before) and the mood will 8 Ways to instantly feel more romantic.
NPlay hooky and call in sex—er, sick after your Feel Closer romp. Having to leave ASAP, whether it’s to meet a friend for brunch or attend your can’t- miss Spin class, is a total mood killer. Resched- ule your plans, and enjoy a leisurely hour or After Sex two of doing nothing together in bed.
It turns out that Take a moment to think about what you N Set your iPod to a romantic playlist. Choose postaction— and your guy usually do after sex. Chances tunes that remind you of your favorite moments not before—is are, it’s sleep, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly together (like a concert you went to). Just lis- actually prime bonding time. romantic, especially considering that the few tening to them will make you two feel closer Our strategies hours afterward are one of the best times to without having to speak. bond. “When you orgasm, hormones are help you ride N the warm, re leased that make you feel more connected,” Reverse-strip each other. Slowly button his fuzzy high. says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. shirt, and let him zip up your skirt. Dressing “Take advantage of that by doing things to pro- each other is superintimate since it taps in to BY MINA AZODI long the feeling.” But that doesn’t mean intense the primal instinct to “preen” your mate. N conversations or eye gazing—little gestures can SOURCES: SEX THERAPIST ERIC GARRISON, AUTHOR OF MASTERING MULTIPLE-POSITION SEX;
ROBERT WHITMAN reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight. CLINICAL SEXOLOGIST RACHAEL ROSS, MD, PHD
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 139 Love & Lust How to Meet the Perfect Man Your crew can be a guy gold mine—granting you access to scores of new cuties. But first you need to give them a little nudge.
BY KY HENDERSON Crave more dates? Your friends can get the ball rolling.
What if we told you there’s a 70 Describe Mr. Right Stick to Groups percent chance that someone in When it comes to your love life, Big group outings are the best way to your social circle already knows your being a little pushy can be a good literally bump into guys at the edge of future husband? You’d no doubt start thing. “You have to let your friends your social circle. “If you don’t get scanning the crowd at your buds’ b-day know that you’re looking and also along with a guy, there’s no pressure bashes more carefully. Well, keep your what kind of guy you’re looking for,” to keep talking to him,” Cox says. And eyes peeled, because a study of mar- says psychologist and dating coach if you’re out doing something you
ried couples showed exactly that: 7 out Barbara Cox, PhD, who points out a enjoy (bowling, bar trivia, a dinner an shirt: Alternative Apparel; jeans: American ans: Theory; shirt: Alternative Apparel. of 10 reported having met through bonus: “Verbalizing your desires party), you’re more likely to be relaxed, mutual acquaintances. actually helps you form a firmer idea charming, and at your best. “Because we tend to associate with of what you want.” Another great idea: Throw a party, people who are similar to us, we end But no matter how detailed you are and ask every friend to bring a single up having things in common with when you describe your ideal guy, person of the opposite sex. At worst, even friends of friends of friends,” your friends still won’t have perfect you’ll end up with a few more friends… says James Fowler, PhD, who cites Mr. Right radars for you. So if a pal and you know what that means: “The the study in his book Connected: The insists there’s no way you could pos- more new friends you make, the more Surprising Power of Our Social Net- sibly be interested in any of the doz- eligible guys you meet,” says profes- works and How They Shape Our ens of single guys she plays softball sional matchmaker Janis Spindel, Lives. That’s why sparks are so likely with on the weekends, don’t take her author of How to Date Men. to fly when you’re chatting with a cute word for it, says Evan Marc Katz, guy to whom you are coauthor of Why You’re Get Online socially linked. Still Single. Offer to be “Facebook gives you easy access to that BY THE NUMBERS Of course, knowing her team’s biggest fan, pool of people in which so many singles If you have 20 pals that the love of your and they each have and check them out for find a partner,” Fowler says. Shame-
life is just a few intro- 20 friends and yourself. “Don’t be shy lessly browse for hot guys in friends’ Blackwell Manicure: Deanna using MAC Cosmetics. Thora for Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Testa. Hair:Senior fashion editor: Marco Rebecca Hessel. ductions away won’t they each have 20 about putting yourself photos. If you find one, ask that friend
friends, that’s 8,000 RIKER. help you actually meet people. One of in a position to meet if he’s cool and if it’s okay to contact
him. You have to get them is likely to be friends of friends, even him. Yes on both counts? Tell the hot- DEREK your future spouse. out there and mingle. if it seems awkward at tie your mutual pal thought you should SOURCE: JAMES FOWLER, PHD for Mark Edward Inc. (From left) shirt: Z Zegna; jeans: Burberry; jacket: Aryn K.; dress: Lulu*s; brown sweater:Alan; t (From left) shirt: Steven Z Zegna; jeans: Burberry; jacket: for Mark Edward Inc. N Apparel; je Eagle Outfitters; shirt:Alternative Ella Moss; skirt:Age; shirt: Krafty; necklace: Forever 21; sweatshirt: Gilded Here’s how. first,” Katz advises. get to know each other ASAP. DREW AND
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Love & Lust
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: A few words that communi- What cate nada but make you feel obligated to respond. Common examples: “hey,” “what’s up?” “talk to me.” TRANSLATION: This guy wants you to know he His Texts is thinking about you and is craving reassurance that he’s on your mind too. YOUR MOVE: His ego needs a little stroking, so try “what’s up, sexy?” to boost his mojo while Really matching his mellow approach.
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: Loaded questions like “what Mean are you up to tonight?” and “you made plans Whether he is in a mad rush or with the girls this weekend, right?” assumes you’re a freaking mind reader, TRANSLATION: He wants to feel out your a man’s thumb-typed messages can response before putting his neck on the line. range from cryptic to total nonsense. YOUR MOVE: Play coy. Try “what do you have in Translate them here. mind?” to make him tell you what he wants. BY KORIN MILLER HIS GO-TO TEXTS: A string of characters that are even more maddening because you can almost figure them out. Along the lines of “last nit u tuk it 2 krzy” or “: \ ?” TRANSLATION: He feels like the two of you can practically read each other’s minds, which is why he doesn’t translate his thoughts into English. Y OUR MOVE: Let him know you are still on the same wavelength (but have no clue what that meant) with a flirty “are you texting drunk again? Call me. xo.”
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: Stupid movie quotes, like “night is a very dark time for me” (Blades of Glory) or “break yo’self fool” (Superbad) TRANSLATION: Guys compete with one another to memorize the most lines from their favorite movies. When he types one to you, it’s an attempt at flirting. He’s trying to show you how This isn’t the funny he is (or thinks he is). key to clear YOUR MOVE: Besides impressing you, he wants communication. to see if you’re savvy enough to know what he’s referencing. So Google the quote he sent to find out where it’s from, then shoot one back. No time? Just send “i love lamp” (Anchorman).
HIS GO-TO TEXTS: Anything but a straight-up yes or no: “sounds like an option” or “maybe” TRANSLATION: He has zero interest in trying to come up with plans for the two of you or even attempting to make a decision. YOUR MOVE: Don’t let the fact that he won’t give you an answer stop you from moving forward or getting what you want. Write back “ok, give me a
call or I’ll just decide.” allis/Alamy Mark W
SOURCES: DEBRA GOLDSTEIN AND OLIVIA BANIUSZEWICZ, COAUTHORS OF FLIRTEXTING; KRISTINA GRISH, AUTHOR OF THE JOY OF TEXT; LES PARROTT, PHD, COAUTHOR OF L.O.V.E.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Love & Lust Ask Him Anything
I’ve been Advice from our guy guru, Jonathan Small Q dating a guy for several “Uh-oh. I think months. It was my weave is clear that we caught on your weren’t seeing weave.” other people… or so I thought, because I just discovered that he slept with someone else. He claims it wasn’t cheating because we aren’t in a relationship, but I don’t agree. What do you think? I think A you gave him a free pass to fool around QUESTION: I recently broke up with my “Dude, that is not happening.” Try your best to with other boyfriend of six years, and since then, my shrug it off and even laugh about it...and avoid chicks. You relationships with my platonic guy saying anything about how you see him more like never actually talked about friends have changed. They’re all flirting a friend or brother. That way, his ego won’t be being a com- with me a lot more, and a couple have bruised and you’ll keep your dude friend. mitted couple, flat-out suggested that we hook up. I so he was able want to keep my friends, not have flings. QUESTION: A few months ago, I caught my to justify doing But if they started behaving like this the husband looking at porn on our computer. whatever he minute I became single, were they ever It bothered me, but I decided to deal with wanted—after really my friends to begin with? it by watching what he’d been watching all, he’d never ANSWER: Six years would be an awfully long time and then mimicking it in bed. Last week, agreed that you to hang around if they’d only wanted to do you. (Talk however, I discovered that he’s still look- were together. about blue balls.…) I think their behavior actually ing at that kind of porn! Why, when I’m Is that sleazy? proves that they’re good friends: They found you doing (almost) everything that those Of course. It’s attractive before you were single, yet they didn’t women do, does he still need to do that? like a murderer make a move because you had a boyfriend. ANSWER: He’s not watching porn because he getting off on a Look, guys can be extremely shortsighted when wishes you were a porn star. Guys generally watch technicality. But it comes to sex. They don’t necessarily think dirty movies to fantasize and experience sexual becoming monogamous is ahead enough to realize that if you slept together, variety, even if it is just in their heads. So no mat- a milestone, and it would at least alter and possibly damage a ter how great your sex life is, he’ll still be com- you can’t just friendship that they value. All they’re able to pro- pelled to spend some alone time at awesomeracks cess is that a cool, hot chick is suddenly single .com. Why get mad and force him to lie about it? assume you’ve (Male model) Stockbyte/Getty Images.
reached it with- after being off-limits for years. I want to commend you for being so open to ON. out having a talk. You can send a clear message that you’re not trying new things in bed. But for your husband, Good luck work- interested in hooking up as long as you’re careful sex with you and sex with himself are two com- CHRIS CLINT ing it out. of their feelings. Next time one of them tries to put pletely different things. Haven’t you ever thought
the tonic in platonic, just tell him something like of someone else when you’re on your own? (Couple)
144 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM “ As our wedding planning has intensified, my fiancé’s sex drive has plunged. What’s the deal?”
About the only reason to be concerned finally, look at the reduced amount of sex about his porn intake would be if it ap- right now as an IOU that you’ll cash in on peared to be taking the place of his having your honeymoon. sex with you. But right now, it sounds like he’s just being a normal guy. So keep being QUESTION: After a wild HOOKUP open-minded about sex, and offer to watch night out with friends, HELP porn with him if you feel like it. But try not I went home with a guy to get upset about his doing it alone. I’d just met—something I’d never done before. The next morning, I QUESTION: My boyfriend and I got woke up mortified, but he ended up engaged a couple of months ago, being supernice and putting me at and I’ve noticed that as our wed- ease. And after chatting, we ding planning has gotten more exchanged numbers. Thing is, he intense, his sex drive has gone hasn’t called. I’m worried that he’s down. I’m doing most of the work, writing me off as a slut. Should I so I feel like I should be the one let him know how out of character stressed out and not in the mood. that was for me? He’s not getting cold feet in any ANSWER: Welcome to the wonderful other way, so what’s the deal? world of hooking up with strangers! ANSWER: Most engaged guys are way Sometimes, nights like that turn into more fearful of the wedding than they are something more, but one reason they’re of being married, in part because planning called one-night stands is because making is a gigantic effort that they typically have them anything more is so potentially awk- next to no control over. And dudes aren’t ward...and in many cases, unappealing. real fond of being totally out of control. I have no clue why he hasn’t called. He For instance, your fiancé may say he could have a girlfriend, he could be very doesn’t care about the flowers, and he busy, he could be uninterested, or yes, he probably doesn’t, but it’s easy for a guy to could have written you off. Or it may be that see how consumed you and others are he assumes it’s impossible to take things with decisions like that and then start feel- from hammered hookup to first-ish date. ing like he’s the least important thing in his But hell, if you really felt a connection own wedding. Plus, even if he’s not paying with him, then I say contact him. Just don’t a dime for the ceremony, he may still be say anything about it having been out of uneasy with how much it’s costing some- character—he doesn’t care. Instead, send one…like his future in-laws. him a text explaining that you had a lot of Ask your guy to be more involved in the fun both that night and the next morning planning and see how he reacts. He might and you’d be up for seeing him again. He appreciate the gesture. Make sure he may agree and get in touch…or he may knows how much you’re looking forward never respond. Regardless, you gave it to being his wife, not how much you’re your best shot, and you treated yourself looking forward to being a bride. And to a brand-new experience. N
COSMOPOLITAN.COM/ASKHIM Check out previous Q&As or submit your own guy problem. Secrets Your Friends Know About You... ThatYo uDon’t If there’s one thing you know better than anybody, it’s yourself, right? Um, no. Like most people, you’re probably full of blind spots about everything from which career is ideal for you to how you really feel about your guy. Even more shocking is who can tell you the truth. BY MOLLY TRIFFIN
Have you ever signed on for something you didn’t think you’d be crazy about and then discovered that, in fact, it was for you? Maybe a friend set you up with a guy T who wasn’t your type and now you’re in love or a coworker talked you—the queen of takeout—into going to her cooking class and you loved it. You’re even thinking of working in a restaurant. It’s weird how that happens...but what’s even weirder is that someone else knew what was a good fit for you all along. “We’re so wrapped up in ourselves that it’s hard to get a clear view of who we are in certain respects,” explains Sam Gosling, PhD, author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You. Others can step back more easily. “They see the big picture, since they don’t have as much of a stake in the outcome as you do and they aren’t distracted by the internal emotions that can bog you down,” says Allen McConnell, Lewis endowed professor of psychology at Miami University, in Ohio. All this potentially life-altering info is out there—your hidden assets and weaknesses, underutilized talents, subconscious standards for your dream guy. The tech- niques here will help you uncover what people around you could tell you, if you only knew how to ask.
146 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM You, Even Better
PLUMB Your innate What memories did they have of “We are often in the dark about YOUR PAST strengths you? Which traits of yours did they what our strengths and weaknesses { } and weak- comment on? It can also help to skim are when we are growing up nesses have likely been there all through old Facebook posts. Pay because we’re simply not aware along, so your first move should be close attention to any adjectives used that there’s any other way to be,” to look backward and see what to describe you. Funny, stylish, Gosling explains. “For example, people have said about you in the wild—all these point to prominent you might be a very talented writer, past. Open up your high school qualities friends saw in you, the but since writing comes so natu- yearbook, and read over the mes- things that really stuck out about you. rally to you, you might not realize sages friends wrote you. That information is golden. that you’re more skilled than other people are. You assume everyone writes like you do.” Use people’s memories too. A great trick: Ask some of your close friends or family members to tell you their favorite story about you. They might bring up moments you’d forgotten about or remem- ber the details differently than you do, and both will clue you in to what they think is essentially you, says Simine Vazire, PhD, director of the Personality and Self-Knowl- edge Lab at Washington Univer- sity, in Saint Louis. For example, maybe your mom remembers how you insisted on tying your shoes by yourself with no help when you were a little kid—a sign of how independent and ambitious you were from the very start. Or your husband might bring up how on your first date with him, you gave the bartender specific instructions about how to prepare your dirty martini and he liked that you were take-charge rather than passive and knew exactly what you wanted.
LISTEN FOR If a person SURPRISES says some- Want { } thing about to Know you that takes you aback or What People doesn’t jibe with how you think Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jamal Hodges at Creative Management. Makeup: Jordy Poon. Makeup: Jordy Poon. Hair:Senior fashion editor: Jamal Hodges at Creative Management. Rebecca Hessel. Really Think of yourself, don’t get pissed of You? about it—get curious. “We Download the Honesty Box each have an idea of who we Facebook app. It lets friends are and who we want to be,” send you anonymous mes- EMMET MALMSTRÕM. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. (From left) tank top: Nation; halter top: Bebe; T-shirt: Alternative Apparel. Alternative T-shirt: (From left) tank top: Nation; halter Bebe; Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Gosling says. “While this is sages, so they’re more likely to be frank about their opinions. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 147 essential to help guide us toward person feel about something that’s “They’ll tell you what they think our goals, it can also close us down happening in your life. If you’re you want to hear.” So you have to to other options that don’t fit in telling a friend how excited you are find a clever way to get at their hon- with the picture we’ve created.” about your plan to move to the est opinions. That naturally occurring tunnel West Coast, but her facial expres- The key is to casually ask friends vision can lead you to gloss over sion or tone of voice seems a bit and family members offbeat ques- observations that contradict the doubtful or even worried, “that’s a tions that will reveal who they vision you have of yourself. But if sign she might have a different believe you really are without their you don’t look outside the tunnel, point of view,” McConnell warns. feeling that they’re dissecting your you might miss out on some incred- While she might not necessarily personality. A few to try: “Who do ible opportunities. know what’s best for you—and it’s you think should play me in a So the next time a comment definitely crucial to listen to your movie?” “Which celebrity could someone makes surprises you, gut first and foremost—her reac- you most see me dating?” “What probe the person for more details tion is a piece of information sug- song reminds you of me?” Bring up about her statement. Say a friend gesting you might want to evaluate the question nonchalantly, maybe mentions that she thinks you’d be more carefully whether this is over drinks after work, as though a great match with an artsy guy she indeed the right decision. it’s a funny thing that just popped knows, even though you usually go into your head. for the sporty type. Ask her why she Another way to go about it is to believes you would be a good fit. CONDUCT A One rea- float “trial balloons” by pals when “She is probably picking up on a COVERT POLL son it’s so you’re considering making a change vibe that you don’t notice you’re { } tricky to and gauge their responses. “I’m giving off,” Vazire points out. It figure out how others see you is that thinking of switching my major to might be the case that a more free- they’re often too polite to give you forensic science/joining an improv spirited, sensitive dude would actu- straightforward feedback. “People group/going on safari for my hon- ally be a better complement to you probably won’t tell you the whole eymoon. Are you surprised?” It’s a than the frat-tastic guys you’ve truth if you ask them flat-out what neutral question, so they should been dating up until now. they think your best and worst traits answer honestly. Pay attention, too, when there’s a are or whether they think you’re on Or engage their imaginations by mismatch in how you and another the right career path,” Vazire says. asking if they could picture you
YOUR LOVE LIFE L “READ” PICTURES Maybe you’re afraid it’ll your relationship so well OF THE TWO OF YOU. sound bad, but it’s key to is that they observe how It’s tricky to be objective look at these when you interact physically. Spot Relationship about your love life. Take assessing your bond. You can do the same. a step back by looking at Signs you’re solid: Your Truths Before photos as if you’re one of L COMPARE YOURSELF feet turn toward his; you your friends viewing you. TO THE JONESES. Your use a tight grip when Your Friends Do Consider how close you friends see you juxta- holding hands; you mirror appear: if you look like posed with other two- each other’s movements. Weird as it sounds, a study found that your you’re really into each somes, so think about friends are better at predicting whether your other or if there’s a sense how you and your man L CHECK OUT OLD relationship will last than you are. According to of ambivalence. differ from couples you E-MAILS. Another thing researcher Christopher Agnew, PhD, depart- know: Do you make more friends observe is how ment head and professor of psychological sci- L NOTICE WHAT YOU or less physical contact? you communicate— ences at Purdue University, they have clearer EDIT OUT. The details Do you smile and laugh whether your dialogue is judgment because they’re less invested. But you omit when talking to as much as they do? natural and fun or strained. Get a sense of it there are ways to access that info yourself— others about your man point to potential red L DECODE YOUR OWN by going through past these tips will get you started. flags. Haven’t had sex in BODY LANGUAGE. One e-mails and G-chats. a month? Arguing more? reason friends can read SOURCE: SIMINE VAZIRE, PHD
148 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM The next time a comment surprises you, probe for details.
doing something different: “Could If she has some great you see me dating a football insight about player?” or “Could you imagine me you, him, and the working in the fashion world?” future...you You’ll learn a lot from their reac- might want tions—if they hesitate or seem to listen up. taken aback, it’s a tip-off that they don’t associate those qualities with you. But if they’re truly enthusias- tic about this potential new ven- ture, then you’re probably onto something. Of course, the people in your life aren’t infallible, and you don’t want to follow their advice blindly while ignoring your own instincts, McCon nell stresses. So find a bal- ance between the “trees” you can see and the “forest” others might be able to discern. Be sure to take some time to pinpoint what feels right to you about a particular deci- sion or change before seeking out other opinions. Once you’re sure of that, get input from friends, cowork- ers, or family, and then reconsider the situation. friend mentions that you’re a great Assessing what people turn to you public speaker after seeing you give for versus what they cut you out of CONNECT You don’t a toast at your sister’s wedding, says something about your talents THE DOTS always have that’s certainly nice to know. But if (like that you’re a good listener or { } to solicit big your boyfriend, aunt, and an coolheaded under pressure) and statements to get great feedback, acquaintance you just met five min- things that you need to work on though. Stay attuned to some seem- utes ago all tell you the same exact (being more empathetic, juggling ingly insignificant clues that can thing, then you should listen a little multiple tasks). pop up at random times. For more carefully. Just remember to be open to instance, look out for loaded It can be helpful to think about what you discover about yourself, words—superlatives like always the role you play in people’s lives as and don’t freak out if some of the and never. “Whenever someone well, Vazire adds. Are you the one secrets that you uncover are nega- uses emphatic language while talk- friends call when they’re having a tive. Because in the end, having a Necklace: Forever 21; jeans: Levi’s. ing about you, it sheds light on a crisis or the one who finds out about fuller picture of the real you—both strong personality trait they see in the drama after it’s already resolved? the good and the bad stuff—will you,” Vazire notes. Does your boss ever ask you to guide you toward your most per- Also, watch for patterns in how spearhead a last-minute project or fect job, the greatest guy for you, N EMMET MALMSTRÕM. people describe you. If your boy- is a coworker usually put in charge? and your most kick-ass life.
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 149 1. Ace a Meeting Project corner-office 5. Take Charge confidence. of the Office Bitch The only thing she’ll be talking to is your hand.
3. Shut Up an Annoying Coworker Shhh, genius at work.
6. Outsmart a Competitive 2. Make Colleague Anyone Claim her turf... Say Yes an inch at a time. Never get turned down again. 4. Move Past a Mistake Get on the boss’s side— even when you’ve screwed up big-time. NOEL J. FEDERIZO. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Jennifer Brent for Kerastase at Kramer + Kramer. Makeup: Jenni Shaw for Creative Management, NYC. Manicure: Deanna Blackwell for Mark Edward Inc. Shirt: Theory; skirt: DKNY Jeans; shoes: Steve Madden; necklace: Soo Ihn Kim; watch: Cartier. GETTING GETTING to you). Sit on the first third of your seat, which makes you to you).Sitonthe firstthirdofyourseat,which makesyou 1 a decade, divulges the moves that give you an edge. a decade,divulgesthemovesthat giveyouanedge. enforcement officerstoreadbodylanguageformorethan Language toGetWhatYou Want. Driver, whotrainedlaw- You Think:ASeven-DayPlanforUsingtheNew Body nine Driver, authorofthenewbookYou SayMoreThan liminal messagestoothers,”saysbody-languageexpertJa- things goyourwaywithoutanyonerealizingit. how you “Subtle shiftsinhowyoucarryyourselfcansendsub- Janine Driver and your peskiest job JanineDriverandyourpeskiestjob body-language-guru TR There’ on. It’s notevenaboutwhatyousay. Giveup?It’s about many hoursyouloginorhowprojectstake ahead onthejob...andithasnothingtodowithhow A A AT WAY (it will immediately make him feel more connected (it willimmediatelymakehim feelmoreconnected HOW TODOIT ACE AMEETING woes willsuddenlydisappear. WORK Use this move. You canactuallyusebodylanguagetomake ORYOUR s onethingpeoplenevertellyouaboutgetting FOR By MinaAzodi genius advicefr ICK : 6 C hoose aseatclosetoyourboss extraordinaire om S S
5 6 2 4 3 consciously more likely to agree with what you’re saying. consciously morelikelytoagreewithwhatyou’resaying. sociate thetwoofyouinhismind,whichmakeshimsub- pen heuses.Thispsychologicaldevicepromptshimtoas- him—maybe thetypeofcoffeehedrinksorbrand something thatyouknowhelikesinthehandnearestto appear moreengagedandontopofthings.Thenhold command, prompting her to say yes. command, promptinghertosayyes. shift?” Thatbriefsilencesubtlyframesitasasubliminal such as“Iknowwe’reallbusy, butcanyou[pause]workmy deal, pauseforafewsecondsbeforeyousaythekeyword, finish therequest,signalinga“heartfelt”appeal.To sealthe as theyask.Thentouchyourhandoverheartyou officers useduringquestioningtopersuadeapersondo across herdesk.Y
doing asshe’ control andaren’t buyingherBS. palm-down handgesturetoshowthatyouaretheonein you’re literallylookingdownyournose.Useadismissive, your chinabout2inches.You’ll exudeconfidencesince saying, “Goingforward,thiswillnothappenagain.” want togetpastyourscrewup.Emphasizethepointby frontational stancethattriggershimsubconsciouslyto to onesideofhimwhenyouconfess.Thisisanoncon- tral, suchas“I’vegotsomuchworktodo.” If shedoesn’t getit,aimitatherasyousaysomethingneu- rel againstyourlips,signalingthatyoudon’t wanttospeak. pointers, whichformthebarrelof“gun”).Restbar- gun steeple(youinterlaceallyourfingers,exceptfor conveys that you can—and will—get what you want. conveys thatyou can—andwill—getwhatyou want. Touching herturfasserts youasthealphacoworkerand your headsuggestsyou’relookingforapproval),andlift COLLEAGUE HOW TODOIT OUTSMART ACOMPETITIVE THE OFFICEBITCH HOW TODOIT T favor, gesturewithonepalmup,atechniquepolice MAKE ANYONE S HOW TODOIT SHUT UPAN HOW TODOIT ANNOYING COWORKER HOW TODOIT MO your supervisor from freaking by standing 2 feet your supervisorfromfreakingbystanding2feet AKE CHARGEOF s talking,anddoagestureknownasthehand- VE P MARCH 2010 ou wanttotakeupspaceinher territory AST A A AST : : : : :
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You, Even Better The Cosmo Checklists You’re minutes away from solving life’s mysteries. For each question, put a check next to the statements that apply to your life—never mind if a few seem odd; experts say they point toward surprising truths. Any- time you end up with more s than blanks, the answer is yes. BY ROBIN HILMANTEL AND JESSICA KNOLL DAVID MALOSH PUT A RING ON IT? PUT ARINGONIT? OFYOU?JEALOUS SECRETLY DOES HEW IS Y FRIEND INTOHIM? IS HISFEMALE SOURCES: PETERANDERSEN,PHD,AUTHOROFTHECOMPLETEIDIOT’SGUIDETOBODYLANGUAGE THE DIFFERENCE;CHERYL DELLASEGA,PHD,AUTHOROF MEANGIRLSGROWNUP;DAVID GIVENS,PHD,AUTHOR OF
last year. wedding withinthe He’s beentoafriend’s independent. You are financially during his20s. one yearatsomepoint He wassingleforatleast ated aboutdivorce. He isnotsuperopinion- you directly. His mome-mailsorcalls time off. tion orwhentoaskfor his bossaboutapromo- on howtoapproach feel Facebook-stalked. so muchthatyoualmost She writesonyourWall been talkingaboutyou. She tellsyoupeoplehave goes toitwithoutyou. to belamebutthen is going She saysaparty stopped talkingaboutit. promotion afteryou’ve She stillbringsupyour her leastfavoritepeople. Your boyfriendisoneof she saysyoulookgreat. you thinklooksheinous, toward him. the insidesofherarms wrists, herpalms,or She usuallypointsher all thatwell. don’t knoweachother besties, eventhoughyou She actslikeyou’re when she’s around him. She touchesherselfalot is whenshetalkstohim. her voiceisdeeperthanit When shetalkstoyou, know alotaboutyou. friends, theyalready He asksyouropinion When youtryonadr When youmeether fights withhim. She sometimespicks OUR FRIEND COAUTHOR OFTHEREALREASONSMENCOMMIT;HARVEY BROOKER,PRESIDENTANDFOUNDEROFHARVEY BROOKER’SWEIGHT-LOSS PROGRAMFORMEN;JEANCHATZKY, FINANCIALEDITORFOR PHD, COAUTHOROFALLTHEGOODONESAREN’T TAKEN;LOUPAGET, AUTHOROFTHEGREATLOVERPLAYBOOK;LINDSEYPOLLAK, OF ANT TO
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DO Y WILL Y DO Y ANNOY PEOPLE? ABILITY? BUY-ME-A-DRINK- ONE DAY?
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styles inthepastthr Y stuff withhim. stuff majority ofhertimedoing She spendsthevast up forspecialoccasions. lingerie, whileyoupickit She’s alwaysbuyingnew line “LastNight...” from herwiththesubject You getlotsofe-mails years; shehasn’t. shoe storage. You useyourovenfor not your bedside table. not yourbedsidetable. your medicinecabinetbut You keepcondomsin He hasbadpostur Her boyfriendhatesPDA. Y beverage available. beverage available. unless it’s theonly He won’tdrinkwater someone else’s fault. wrong forhim,it’s always When somethinggoes gaining weight. ever hewantswithout been abletoeatwhat- So far, hehasalways He hasanofficejob. list ofanyoneyouknow. He hasthelongestDVR one side,etc. hunches over, leansto new restaurant. the movies;yoursisa Their go-todatenightis bathroom…all unused. gels, andlotionsinyour You havecandles,bath ered withthrow pillows. inch ofyourbediscov- During theday, every but nodinnerstuff. with breakfast goodies Your kitchenisstocked photos ofgirlfriends. ou’ve triedmultiplehair- our fridgeislitter OUR SEXLIFE TELL MENOLIES;SUSANSHAPIROBARASH,AUTHOROF OUR OUR SINGLE MARCH 2010 ed with ed with e—
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birthdays. birthdays. to remember office He’s thoughtfulenough directions onaproject. rolls whenyougivehim He nevercringesoreye- neatly trimmed. He keepshisfingernails gloomy days. umbrella, evenon and doesn’tcarryan He isspontaneous for luncheveryday. He hasdifferent things area around hismouth. face alot,especiallythe something, hetoucheshis When he’s tellingyou ask himabouthisday. He getsallTMIwhenyou get intofights. You twopretty muchnever only wantsitatnight. morning sex,andnowhe He usedtobeallabout the historyiscleared. after himandnoticethat You getonthecomputer movie lastnight?” fused aboutsomething. questions ifyou’re con- She saysyoucanaskher name andsayshitoyou. Her bossknowsyour on vacation. work issueswhenyou’re She contactsyouabout concern yourwork. ings eveniftheydon’t She pullsyouintomeet- fingers ornotatall). (as opposed towithher the palmofherhand She touchesyouwith help onaspecialproject. she stillasksforyour tion, like“Howwasthe answersasimpleques- He looksupwhenhe Y since he’ He fixespaperjams, ou feelswamped,but ; JOEL BLOCK, PHD, TOXIC FRIENDS;JOELBLOCK,PHD, O OUR BOSS OUR BOSS s handy. UR UR TODAY AN AND AUTHOR OF AND AUTHOROF GIRL ONTOP
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You, Even Better Learn to Love the Suckiest Day of
the Week Somebody please hand this New research has pinpointed girl a Cosmo. the crappiest 24 hours (no, it’s not when you think!). But if you tweak your routine in some key ways, good cocktail of oxytocin and dopa- vacation. Just imagining yourself you might actually start to mine into your system. After all, they lounging on a beach is an instant look forward to it. do call it, uh, hump day. mental holiday. BY MINA AZODI N Sprinkle some cinnamon in your N Make Wednesday Would You morning coffee. Not only will it dress Rather Day with your guy. Exchange There’s no doubt about it: up your java, but a study found that texts like “Would you rather I kiss Mondays are tough. But the scent also can decrease anxiety your thigh or your neck?” Anticipat- according to new research, Wednes- and stimulate the part of your brain ing each other’s texts will make the days can really suck the life out of tasked with keeping you alert. day speed by and give you great you…literally. A recent study found N Nix the brown bag and make this ammo for a hot hookup later. that most suicides occur midweek. your lunching-out day. It’s a small N Buy an inexpensive flower to put “It’s the tipping point,” says Augus- change, but trying new things—even on your desk, like a daisy or a rose. tine Kposowa, PhD, the study author simply a different deli—will spark Certain colors can improve your and professor at the University of an adrenaline rush that helps to fuel mood—including yellow, which California at Riverside. “Stress from a good mood. boosts happiness, and red, which Monday and Tuesday weighs people N Create a Wednesday a.m. playlist amps excitement. down, and the weekend can still feel for your commute. Bumper-to-bum- N Change your desktop background very far away.” per traffic isn’t so bad when you’re to a fun pic from a recent day off (just Okay, the study looked at the blast ing your fave songs. right-click a cute photo from one of worst-case scenario, but it gets at a N Sign up for ShopItToMe.com, a your friends’ Facebook albums to save truth that has intensified since the site that alerts you when your favor- it to your computer). It’ll be a visual recession: People are working harder ite brands go on sale. Choose to have reminder of and spending less on breaks like the info sent to you on Wed nes days. the good times happy hour, which makes for less, You’ll score cute stuff for cheap, and you have com- well, happiness. But it doesn’t take online window-shopping taps in to ing your way CHOCOLATE Rx a lot of time or money to get your your brain’s reward center, trigger- in less than 72 Eating an ounce and a half of dark week (and mood) back on track. Try ing a shopper’s high. hours. chocolate a day N SOURCES: DALE for two weeks will these tactics for quick relief. Schedule your Saturday plans ATKINS, PHD, AUTHOR OF SANITY SAVERS: reduce your level now, and the weekend won’t feel so TIPS FOR WOMEN TO of stress hormones. N Have a quickie in the morning, far off. Or plan the details of another LIVE A BALANCED SOURCE: JOURNAL OF LIFE; AUGUSTINE PROTEOME RESEARCH orkbook Stock/Getty Images
even if it’s solo, so you get that feel- event—an upcoming concert or KPOSOWA, PHD W
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You, Even Better
at your job—you start fantasizing about get- ting some sweet payback for your extra effort. But while you might want to get a luxe massage or blow off work and hang with friends, those kinds of things require free time, which is in short supply on tense days. Food, on the other hand, is an almost instant reward, especially if you get it by speed-eating through the fridge or racing out to the nearest drive-through. It’s such a natural way to pam- per yourself that nutritionists say many women subconsciously start to associate feeling over- whelmed or overworked with a trip to the vending machine or a plate of fries. Scarfing all that junk won’t really satisfy you, though. When you’re stressed, you’re actually less likely to savor the taste of your food or respond to feelings of fullness. So pop in a piece of gum instead. It can help in two ways: Some experts claim that chewing is calming, and you’ll sidestep those calories that you wouldn’t have even enjoyed anyway.
There’s a better way to satisfy your postworkout urges. You’re Exhausted Ever notice that you’re desperate for sugary and carb-loaded foods after a bad (or short) Curb Cravings night of sleep? That’s because when you’re dragging, your body craves a jolt of energy...and a sweet snack often delivers an instant boost. Without Thing is, not only does your body not need the calories, but indulging in something y Resources. Prop stylist: Nancy Sotomayor. Plate and fork: Fishs Eddy. Combination locks and napkin: Gracious Home. Combination locks and napkin: Gracious Home. Plate and fork: Fishs Eddy. Prop stylist: Nancy Sotomayor. y Resources. sweet and junky will actually make you feel Eating a Thing more tired, since sugar-energy highs are fol- lowed by rapid energy plunges. Instead, wake yourself up when you’re feeling beat with a quick burst of exercise—for example, a Before insane Do you ever find yourself reaching for a 20-minute gym routine or a brisk walk. Then urges force high-calorie food when you shouldn’t even plan to better manage your fatigue next time, Food stylist: Susan Ottaviano for Halle you to eat be hungry? Turns out, the human brain has a by either getting to bed half an hour earlier more than tendency to fire off a “I need to eat” message in or taking a power nap. you’d like, response to emotions and situations that have make sure it’s You Worked Out JAMES WESTMAN. really your nothing to do with appetite...and constantly appetite misreading that cue and chowing down can pack Exercising depletes your on extra pounds. The trick is to learn what your body’s protein, which may talking and WHY REAL not something body is trying to tell you and what kind of fix your explain why you sometimes HUNGER IS BEST else entirely. system truly needs. These tips will help you avoid want to chow down on People who are loads of calories in the easiest way possible. cheese or meat right after calorie-deprived BY ZOË RUDERMAN clocking time on the tread- (e.g., they skipped breakfast) taste You’re Stressed mill. But that craving salty and sweet It’s human nature to crave a reward for hard doesn’t mean you have to foods better. work. So when you’re under a lot of pressure— eat a mega meal. Instead of SOURCE: BMC NEUROSCIENCE for example, you need to finish a big project inhaling hundreds of calo-
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You, Even Better ries (and negating the hard work you You’re Procrastinating put in at the gym), satisfy your protein Women often eat to delay making a need by drinking a glass of nonfat milk. tough decision or to put off an Eight ounces has just 86 calories but unwanted task. Nutritionists say we enough protein to quell your urges till tend to choose food over things like it’s time for lunch or dinner. watching TV or going online because those types of activities seem like a You’re Near Other waste of time and “real” procrastina- Noshers tion, whereas eating doesn’t since, hey, You feel full after a satisfying dinner... a girl’s gotta eat. Stop kidding yourself but then you show up at a friend’s party and either give in to goofing off or and start grazing. The environmental buckle down and get it done. At least cues (food spread out on a table, peo- you won’t have to feel guilty about ple’s mouths munching) and our innate being unproductive and overeating. human desire to mimic others are mak- ing you think you’re hungry when you You’re Thirsty aren’t. So keep your hands and mouth Hunger and thirst fire off nearly iden- otherwise engaged—for instance, by tical messages in the brain, so our grabbing a seltzer or just chatting and bodies often confuse the need to drink flirting (all that talking will ensure your with the need to eat. If you ate recently mouth stays busy). but are suddenly jonesing for some F ood is such a natural way to pamper yourself that many women subcon- sciously associate feeling stressed with a trip to the vending machine.
You’re Bumming solid sustenance, the explanation is As kids, we’re often placated by our probably dehydration. That’s why parents and teachers with yummy nutritionists say the first thing to do treats, which may be why we connect when you’re craving food is drink those same foods (often sweets) with water. Guzzle it down, and wait about getting out of a funk. Think of how 10 minutes; that lingering hunger will many times your mom said “Here, probably fade. have a cookie” to stop your crying. But what you really need when You’re Bored you’re feeling blue is emotional We migrate to the kitchen when we comfort from someone close to you. have nothing to do because, well, it’s So rather than reaching for a cup- something to do—something fun and cake, reach for your cell phone or pleasurable to boot. If you can’t get your laptop and call a friend or cruise out of the house or away from your Facebook. desk and you start fantasizing about It also helps to get energetic: chips, ice cream, or [insert your poi- Experts say connecting with other son here], do something competitive, people and getting out of your apart- like playing a video or online game. ment and doing something—even if It’ll entertain you and keep your hands it’s just window-shopping with too busy to reach for food. N friends—have been shown to banish SOURCES: DAWN JACKSON BLATNER, RD, AUTHOR OF THE FLEXITARIAN DIET; JANA KLAUER, MD, AUTHOR OF bad-mood hunger. THE PARK AVENUE NUTRITIONIST’S PLAN
You, Even Better Fit in 6 Minutes Shrink Your Waist Bye-bye, love handles. Hello, tight curves! These moves erase side pudge fast—so your bod will be smokin’ in that bandage dress. Meet Your Trainer Tracy Anderson is a 1 2 top fitness guru who helps A-listers like Gwyneth Paltrow and
Shakira sculpt lean, y. sexy figures. Check her 2 out at tracyanderson 1 method.com. BASIC ISOLATION (1) Stand with your feet slightly wider than shoulder width, hands on hips, abs SEXY LEG CROSS pulled in. (2) Keeping (1) Sit on the edge of a chair with your your stomach tight, left leg crossed. Lift 3 inches off the seat shift your torso to the and hold for a few seconds. Pop up your left, pause for a left hip slightly; the right side of your second, and then shift waist will tighten. (2) Extend your left leg. to the right. Only your Hold for a second or two, and return to upper body should start. That’s one rep. Do 25, and repeat move, not your hips. on the other side. This is one rep. Do 25, and work up to as TURN UP many as you can. 1 THE VOLUME These exercises are inspired by dance, so listen to music as you do them. Moving to the beat will make Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Elisa Flowers at Bernstein and Andriulli for Sebastian Hair. Makeup: Katrina Baile Andriulli for Sebastian Hair. Hair: Senior fashion editor: Elisa Flowers at Bernstein and Rebecca Hessel. the isolations feel . more natural. 23
1 2 CHRIS ECKERT/STUDIO D DIAGONAL (Anderson) Gary Gershoff/Getty Images for Baby Buggy. Asics. Elisabetta Rogiani; shorts: lululemon; sneakers: Top: Manicure: Deana Blackwell for Mark Edward Inc. ISOLATION (1) Start in a basic isolation with your upper body to the left, abs tight. (2) Shift your torso to the right, lowering your chest about 45 degrees. It’s SIDE LEG LIFT AND LEAN easy to let your stom- (1) Stand on your left leg, right hand on your hip, left hand on a ach hang here, so pull it chair. (2) Raise your right leg 45 degrees, knee bent. The right in. Shift back to start— side of your waist will contract. (3) Step out 3 feet with your that’s one rep. Do at right leg so it’s 45 degrees diagonally behind you. Tighten your least 25; switch sides. abs and lean your torso to the left—the right side will tighten.
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You, Even Better Shameless BY MINA AZODI
Money-Saving Food Clothes
Auto
Tricks Rent HOW TO… Save More Money The key is knowing exactly where your cash is going, but keeping a budget can be a pain in the ass…and intimidating. Now there are several Websites that log your spending habits for you for free. For example, Mint (Rain boot) DAVID COOK. coat and dress) DAVID LAWRENCE. (Trench .com links up to your checking and credit- A Cheaper card accounts and organizes your spending Dinner Out into categories, such as food and clothes. That way, you always know what your debit No Cosmo girl should swipes are being used for, and you can D. JESUS AYALA/STUDIO have to pass up dessert, easily ID the areas where you can cut back. (Earrings) but going for that extra course can really add SOURCE: BETH KOBLINER, AUTHOR OF GET A FINANCIAL LIFE: PERSONAL FINANCE IN YOUR 20S AND 30S up. Save your dough, and on the way home, get istockphoto.com. something sweet from Try This Genius Shopping Tip a local shop. That’s likely You can get amazing deals on the latest where your area restau- rants’ treats are from must-have gadgets, like a Kindle or a pricey anyway, since many mid- digital camera, at the Amazon.com warehouse. range eateries buy their Head home with It’s a little-known secret on the site—the desserts from a bakery something sweet. company resells returned items at a deep Oh, and pick and mark up the prices. up dessert too. discount. All products are guaranteed to work like new, but if you’re not satisfied, you can return them within 30 days for a refund. Budget Decor Ideas Furniture is usually crazy expensive, REALITY CHECK but now you can make over your place for less. Some furniture retailers are offering their own Cash for Clunkers deal by (On her) blazer: BB Dakota; shirt: bag: Manicure: Deanna Blackwell for Mark Edward Inc. Banana Republic; jeans: Levi’s; using MAC Cosmetics. Thora for Kate Ryan Inc. Makeup: Testa. Hair:Senior fashion editor: Marco Rebecca Hessel. giving you a discount RIKER.
in exchange for your DEREK worn-out items. They THE HABIT WHAT YOU COULD HAVE BOUGHT may not advertise it, so Buying a snack at THE COST A wallet, a trench coat, DREW AND a drive-through $702/ a wrap dress, a Flip video recorder, you’ll need to ask. year Cynthia Rowley. (On him) jacket: Topman; jeans: Current Elliott. (Flip video recorder) courtesy of Flip Video. (Pie chart, french fries, and wallet) french fries, (Pie chart, Video. (Flip video recorder) courtesy of Flip jeans: Current Elliott. Topman; (On him) jacket: Cynthia Rowley. three times a week rain boots, and gold earrings (Couple)
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the cosmo health report Is Being We always knew that being a sweat and other funk from his skin— Too little bit bitchy helps you get which may be crawling with bacteria, ahead, but it turns out, it can keep you viruses, and fungi—could end up on healthy too. Doctors say that certain you. (And you’ll only have to wipe Nice nice-girl behaviors, like giving a sick down the machine once, rather than friend a sip of your drink, can leave every time you two alternate.) you with a cold, oral herpes, or swine Making flu. And don’t assume you’re safe Sharing Dessert because flu season is almost over. If a pal asks to sample your confec- Swine flu, which those under 25 are tion, cut it in two, put one half on a You particularly susceptible to, may stage separate plate, and joke “If we don’t a comeback this month. split it, I’ll totally wolf down the whole Of course, we’re not advocating thing!” No germs are exchanged, you Sick? being downright rude. It’s more about save a few calories, and hey, you come substituting a different kind of eti- off as supergenerous. Certain polite habits could quette for the following practices. land you in flu hell. It’s Meeting With a time to ditch the niceties Letting Someone Sick Coworker and stay healthy. Sip Your Drink Why a walking incubator with a BY ZOË RUDERMAN Saliva is a big-time germ conductor, hacking cough decides not only to so avoid a potential microbe-fest on come to work but also to hold a the rim of your glass by saying, “Oh, I meeting, we’ll never understand. think I feel something coming on, and Colds and flus thrive in offices thanks I don’t want to make you sick.” to those decisions, helped along by the closed windows and a lack of Kissing Hello circulation. Avoid a face-to-face Exchanging a quick, wet peck on the meeting by telling her that you’re cheek can leave you with germs on chained to your desk waiting for an your face, which can then enter your important call and you’d prefer to system via your nostrils or mouth. discuss things on the phone. When someone goes for a smooch, lean in, air kiss, and pull back before Shaking Someone’s there’s any skin-on-skin contact. Hand True, you could catch something Hands are notorious germ conveyers, because of the proximity of your but sometimes, a handshake just can’t faces, but the odds are lower than if be avoided. So make sure to wash up you’d actually made a mouth-to- or use hand sanitizer afterward…and Prop stylist: Nancy Sotomayor. y Resources. cheek connection. before you touch your face Germ-tini with a twist, coming Alternating Reps on (always keep a FALSE right up Gym Equipment minibottle in CONFIDENCE If a fellow gym-goer asks to share the your bag). N Getting a flu shot and the H1N1 chest-press machine with you, say that SOURCES: ETIQUETTE vaccine may leave Food stylist: Susan Ottaviano for Halle
EXPERT MELISSA LEON- you’re almost done and he can have it ARD, ESTABLISHYOUR you lax about hand to himself in a few. He’ll likely move SELFNY.COM; JENNIFER washing and, there- WIDER, MD, AUTHOR fore, more likely to on to another machine while you fin- OF THE DOCTOR’S spread germs. COMPLETE COLLEGE SOURCE: JENNIFER WIDER, MD ish, reducing the number of times his GIRLS’ HEALTH GUIDE JAMES WESTMAN.
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cosmo gyno BY ESTHER CRAIN
Stop putting your Gyno News life on pause once a month. Body Benefits of Getting It On In case you need a bona fide health reason to hit the No More sheets, a recent study found Period Pain that women of all ages who d escribed themselves as Fast solutions cramp-causing chemicals from Diarrhea and/or gas. sexually satis- to the misery your being released. Digestive discomfort during fied felt more the first days are the result of Achy, tender breasts. Ease flow brings the same body chemicals that the bloating that makes breast cause cramps. Ibuprofen can Killer cramps. When you tissue sensitive this time of the stop production of these chem- sense your period is imminent, month by avoiding caffeine and icals, and bland foods, such as be proactive and take two anti- salty foods—both cause your bananas and rice, can make inflammatory painkillers, such system to retain water. A super- stomach trouble less likely. as ibuprofen, every four to six supportive bra also will help SOURCE: RAE CHERNG, hours. This should prevent minimize tenderness. OB-GYN IN SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA Booty: An amazing mood booster
energetic and were psycho- HEALTH Resist the urge to hold in your urine: That allows logically health- ier than women HINT bacteria to multiply, upping your odds of a UTI. who weren’t so thrilled with Q&A their lust life.
The satisfied
younger women ‘‘ Can washing after‘‘ sex lower studied had sex an average of 13
my STD risk? times a month, so aim for at In theory, it makes sense that you may be able to wash STD- least three causing bacteria or viruses out of your vagina before they have times a week if a chance to infect you, the same way you wash your hands you want to AMARA SCHLESINGER. to reduce your odds of picking up cold bugs. But it won’t work, boost your says Udele Tagoe, an ob-gyn in Philadelphia. It takes only a mental health second or two for germs to glom on to the skin and/or body fluids and make a inside and around your vagina, allowing them to enter your difference in your day-to-day system and trigger an infection. The only way to reduce your STD Your best bet for outlook. (Female model and couple) T (Condoms) Taxi/Getty Images. (Condoms) Taxi/Getty Images. risk substantially (but not completely) is always to use condoms. staying STD-free
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 167 your body BY ESTHER CRAIN What Your Body Reveals BREAST CHECK Spider When Veins on Breasts Your Legs These thin, weblike red Don’t lines are blood vessels that Your set isn’t have enlarged Match supposed to be due to symmetrical. pressure in your legs—say, The scoop on breasts appear to be more Each breast has a differ- from excessive three common even. Be concerned if one ent shape. Even if your girls standing or breast suddenly grows larger. are the same cup size, they walking around variations In this case, see your doc. will likely hang differently. This in high heels, One breast is bigger than could happen if your workouts explains the other. This is usually the Your nipples point in dif- favor one side of your body, Leonid Trost, a case whether you notice it or ferent directions. One might because the muscle on that dermatologist not, and it’s not unheard of or point up while the other points side gets more toned, and the in Palm Beach, abnormal for one breast to be down, left, or right. It depends breast above it looks more Florida. The up to half a cup larger than the on where the areola rests prominent. Again, if one sud- veins are other. If your size difference on each breast—for example, denly looks different from the harmless, but makes you feel self-conscious, if the areola sits higher, it other, check in with your MD.
wear a padded bra so your may angle the nipple upward. SOURCE: JENNIFER WIDER, MD, WOMEN’S HEALTH SPECIALIST AND COSMO RADIO HEALTH EXPERT Heels this high aren’t worth the side HEALTH- Be sure the condom is put on correctly: Each year, effects. BOOSTING HABIT 15% of pregnancies occur because it wasn’t. if you don’t like SOURCE: PLANNED PARENTHOOD the way they look, a derma- His and Hers tologist can shrink them via “ Are products that an injectable solution or enhance a guy’s fade them with laser therapy. Prevent them
performance safe?” (Illustration) ANDERS WENNGREN. by wearing Herbal meds can They may not be. These OTC pills and capsules are classified as supple- compression mess up ments—so the FDA doesn’t require them to undergo the testing that stockings and his health. drugs do. “They usually contain an herb called yohimbine,” says urologist limiting the s Choice/Getty Images. CLINTON. Sheldon Marks, men’s health expert on WebMD. “The amount of yohim- amount of time bine in them is weak, but there have been reports of heart and liver prob- you spend on lems, plus irritability and insomnia.” Warn your guy of the dangers, and your feet and in heels. (Signs) Photographer’ tell him there’s no proof these concoctions actually improve satisfaction. (Male model) CHRIS
COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Need to Know
170 COSMOPOLITAN / MONTH 200X COSMOPOLITAN.COM (Opposite page) David White/Alamy. (This page, from left) New York Post/splashnews.com; splashnews.com. I B investigators foundthecluesthatledtoherallegedkiller. it wouldbeherbodyinthemiddleofamurder scene.Here’s howreal-life like theonesyouseeonprime-timepolicedramas…neverthinking Michelle Leewasayoungfor being stagedby thekiller, withthe whether itwasextremetothe point of that ultimately, investigators wondered cide detectives—sotwisted, infact, disturbing, eventohardened homi- an unknownkiller. in forensics,acareernowcutshortby in herhighschoolyearbook:towork was justreachingthegoalshenamed the NYPDninemonthsearlierand narcotics cases.Shehadstartedwith criminologist analyzingevidencein tory, whereMichellewasarookie worked intheNYPDCrimeLabora- one oftheirown. victim, 24-year-old MichelleLee,is homicide willbefarfromroutine:The crime, thattheirinvestigationofthis reason, beyondthegrislinessof clues andsoonrealizesthere’s another lice Departmentarrivestocombfor Scene UnitoftheNewYork CityPo- “She’s deadinthebed!”TheCrime ing’s threeflightsofstairs,screaming, the apartmentanddownbuild- been burnedwithasteamiron. sticks outfromherneck.Hertorsohas post byherhands.Akitchenknife lifeless body, naked,boundtothebed- and findsahorrificscene:Michelle’s into herroommate’s roomtosayhello Michelle. Thenextmorning,shepeeks to sleepwithoutseeingherroommate, end trip,headsupstairs,andgoesright York, apartmentbuildingfromaweek- comes hometoherQueens,New episode: t y ’s astory The sceneofMichelle’s deathwas Michelle andherroommateboth The womanreportedlyrunsfrom Matthew Malone Matthew Last April 26, a young woman Last April26,ayoungwoman
line straightoutofa CSI CSI Crime Scene Anatomy ofa not yetbeentold,becauseatpresstime, The fullstoryoftheinvestigationhas graphing thesceneandcoveringMi- tary series.Thatwouldinvolvephoto- and hostofHBO’s New York Citychiefmedicalexaminer plains MichaelBaden,MD,former collected evidenceatthescene,ex- Crime SceneUnitfirstwouldhave ical examinerandmembersofthe led toanarrest. piece togethersomeofthestepsthat forensic expertsCosmoconsultedto are inthepublicrecord,allowing ever, somedetailshaveleakedoutor closely guardedbytheNYPD.How- scene andininterrogationshasbeen the evidenceuncoveredatcrime been convicted.Thatmeansmuchof pect withMichelle’s murder, hehasn’t prosecutors havenowchargedasus- the casehadnotgonetotrial.Andwhile tives inthewrongdirection. that cameveryclosetosendingdetec- would comeintoplay—knowledge which insiderforensicknowledge murder investigationwouldbeonein It wasoneofmanyindicationsthatthis intent ofthrowingthemoffthetrail. As withanyviolentcrime,themed- ensic specialisthopingtosolvecrimes Autopsy documen-
A for Michelle Lee(right). brutal murder of investigating the detectives off tactics tothrow have usedinsider student himself,may (left), aforensic says GaryMcGurk ensic exper
MARCH 2010 28, McGurk sat in the interview room 28, McGurksatintheinterviewroom tioning, andontheeveningofApril Criminal JusticeinManhattan. Lee’s almamater, JohnJayCollegeof Gary McGurk,a23-year-old studentat tioning arelationshipwithmannamed low-tech asitgets:diaryentriesmen- dence foundinMichelle’s roomwasas of themostimportantpiecesevi- News reportedthat,asithappened,one Dr. Baden.ButtheNewYork Daily beyond thefourwallsofroom,”says with alltheelectronicsinvolved,goes “Crime-scene investigationnowadays, the crime—weresurelycollected. tify potentialsuspectsandamotivefor and cellphone—whichcanhelpiden- may containfibersandskincells). bedpost, leavinganyknotsintact(they cut thematerialusedtotieher used tomurderMichelleforDNAand and laterswabbedthekitchenknife Investigators alsowouldhavecovered under herfingernailsduringastruggle. skin, andbloodthatmightbecaught trace evidence—thingslikehair, fiber, chelle’s handswithbagstopreserve t t Detectives pulledhiminforques- Personal itemslikeadiary, computer, / COSMOPOLIT
AN 171 bag and passport. bag andpassport. McGurk hada When arr 172 Vernon Geberth,formercommanding the Cops Face-to-Face W of theNYPD’ with benefits.” investigators. “Itturnedinto friends physical thananythingelse,” hetold ship didn’t panout.“It was more short time,hesaid,buttherelation- asked herout,andtheydated fora her joggingattheJohnJaygym.He eye inthefallof2004,whenhesaw plained howMichellehadcaughthis about hisfamilylife,thenheex- suspect openup.McGurktalked questions, saysGeberth,tomakethe usually do,byaskingnonthreatening cover upinvolvementinthecrime.” view. Everythinghedoes,doesto and thatcomesthroughintheinter- “He isamanipulatorwitheveryone, for Cosmo.Hisoverallimpression: cases, evaluatedMcGurk’s statement worked onmorethan8,000murder homicide investigationsandhas Task Forcewhoisnowaconsultanton officer oftheNYPD’s BronxHomicide edge tooutsmarthisinterrogators. and suggesthetriedusinghisknowl- reveals telltalesignsofthattraining say thatMcGurk’s statementtopolice Forensic expertsfamiliarwiththecase insight intothemindofamurderer. psychology, trainingdesignedtogive close toearningadegreeinforensic scruffily good-looking,McGurkwas later madepublic.Irish-bornand a longstatement,someofwhichwas The investigatorsstarted,asthey ested, COSMOPOLIT
s 108thprecinctandgave
SLIPUPS MORELIKELY. FURTHERAFIELD,MAKING STORIES RANGED MCGURK RELAXED,HIS ALWAYS HOPE, AS JUST ASINTERROGA AN ith / MARCH 2010
Geberth, McGurkseemedtobecome Just asinterrogatorsalwayshope, says Kinky Sex Tales ofRoughand how reallybegantokickin. forensic-psychology student’s know- according toGeberth,iswhenthe a differentsideofMichelle...andthat, scribed heras“verytalented.” commissioner RayKelly, whode- faculty andofNewYork Citypolice her therecognitionofJohnJay Her academicperformanceearned fession. Andsheexcelledinthatworld: ing inatough,male-dominatedpro- bie pink”nailpolish,evenwhilework- was self-assuredenoughtowear“Bar- and realityshowsonBravo. was afavorite—window-shopping, food—mac andcheesewithketchup ing, andresponsiblefriendwholoved membered Michelleasacaring,lov- morial pageafterherdeath.Theyre- friends, whocreatedaFacebookme- picture paintedofherbymany Michelle wasfairlyconsistentwiththe he developedhealthproblems. well) andworryingabouthimwhen claimed tohavelenthermoneyas money whenhewasoutofwork(he out whenshecould,lendinghim disagreements with Michelle,” McGurk disagreements with Michelle,”McGurk slipups morelikely. “I hadveryfew started rangingfurtherafield, making more comfortableandhis stories But then McGurk began to describe But thenMcGurkbegantodescribe Michelle longedtoownapugand Much ofMcGurk’s descriptionof McGurk saidMichellehelpedhim TORS
a callonmycell phonefromher. Here, said McGurk.“At3:56a.m.,Ireceived and saidgoodnightwalked off,” door, andshesaid hadcompany repay himyet.“Igottoherapartment the blockasshetoldhimcouldn’t it wasafter2a.m.,hesaidtheywalked collect $500sheowedhim.Although to Michelle’s streetlatethatnightto end oftheeveningwasaredflag. too farandhisvaguenessaboutthe helpful andcooperative,buthewent says Geberth,hewastryingtoappear mate timeofMichelle’s death.Here, count becamefuzzyattheapproxi- the costofaboatride—buthisac- cluding exacttimes,subwaylines,even his datewiththen-girlfriend,in- night ofthemurderincarefuldetail— knowledge oflawenforcement.” fense. Thatshowsaperpetratorwith taught tothinkofthisasasexualof- knife intheneck—investigatorsare body waspresented—nude,withthe clever offender. Thewaythevictim’s sidious,” saysGeberth.“It’s donebya away fromthemostlikelysuspect. demeaning her, ortodrawattention express angertowardthevictimby satisfy thekiller’s deviantfantasy, to way, it’s foroneofthreereasons:to that whenthebodyisstagedinasexual ing murderscenes,Geberthhasfound staged. Basedonhisexperiencestudy- him thatthecrimescenewasprobably kinky sexgonewrong.Thatconvinces sexual sadisthadkilledherduring nation ofthecrime:thatanunknown feels, wasplantinganalternateexpla- We decidednevertodothatagain.” got totapmywriststopchokingher. time, Michellegotveryangry. Shefor- me. I’dbeontopandchokeher. One asphyxiation. She’dbeontopandchoke when wedidthebondage, handcuffs, spanking,biting.Sometimes nature: dressup,lightbondage,furry said. “We haddisagreementsofasexual According to McGurk, he had gone According toMcGurk,hehadgone McGurk wentontodescribethe “The thirdscenarioisthemostin- What McGurkwasdoing,Geberth C OSMOPOLIT AN.COM
Danny Ludici/New York Daily News (Blood patterns) ANDERS WENNGREN. (Fiber-match images) courtesy of the Center for Modern Forensic Practice, John Jay College of Criminal Justice. TRUE BLOOD detectives. “Hecouldn’ look—check myphone,”headdedto ics werefarfrom thoseofamurderer. calculated todemonstratethat hiseth- sponded withastatementthat seems he’d liketosayanythingelse. Here- 1:45 a.m.,adetectiveaskedMcGurk if tos andcadaversdisturbing.” at needles.…Ifindcrime-scenepho- tos. “It’s toomuchtohandle.Ipanic stomach,” hesaidofcrime-scenepho- upsetting. “Thepicturesturnyour crime andcriminals—workhefound he woundupatJohnJaystudying considered becomingapriest.Instead, During highschool,hesaid,had sics student,muchlessperpetrateit. tolerate thebrutalityhesawasaforen- moral base,someonewhocouldbarely to presenthimselfassomeonewitha phone withherstothrowthemoff. possibly becausehehadcalledhis them thecellphone,”saysGeberth, scene ofaviolentcrime. crucial cluesatthe the droplets—reveal shape, andpositionof including thesize, Bloodstain patterns— attacker’s fist. most likelybythe speed andforce, relatively low victim washitata indicate thatthe least 4mm)often Large droplets (at As theyconcludedtheinterview at Meanwhile, McGurkwasworking LAWRENCE KOBILINSKY, PHD,CHAIRMANOFTHEDEPARTMENT OFSCIENCES,JOHNJAY COLLEGEOFCRIMINALJUSTICE SOURCES: STEVENF
. HUNDERSMARCK,PHD,DIRECTOROFTHECENTERFORCRIMINALSCIENCE,INDIANATECH; Medium-size Medium-size baseball bat. blunt object,likea attacked witha victim was suggest thatthe 1 to4mm blood droplets of t wait to show t waittoshow
can’t see. the nakedeye bloodstains illuminates Luminol spray
bullet fragments. the absenceof been shot,evenin victim mayhave investigators the or smaller)tells stain (drops 1mm A mistlikeblood- Verdict Waiting forthe tigators haveidentifiedaclear It’ wasn’t possible,sotheylethimgo. evidence, anindictmentatthispoint would deservetobeputaway.” pose doesnotmatter.…If Ididit, whether itwasanaccidentoronpur- said. “WhateverhappenedtoMichelle, I wouldalsoembarrassmyfamily,” he I wouldnotonlyembarrassmyselfbut “If IweretohavedonethisMichelle, worked), conducting moreinter- building whereMichellehad from thebedroom(inalabin the four weeks,analyzingevidence tors wenttoworkoverthenext evidence isstrong.Soinvestiga- sary foraconvictionifthephysical enough—but motiveisn’t neces- Michelle owedhimhardlyseemed motive—the $500McGurksaid
s stillunknownwhetherinves- Because police had yet to process the Because policehadyettoprocessthe
between blows. his armback the attackerflings thebladewhen off wall asbloodflies onthe castoff” pr A stabbingoften oduces “blood oduces “blood —NIKI MARIEEVANS
MARCH 2010 like nooneelse.Noelse.” “You knownothing....IknewMichelle try toactasiftheydo,”hetoldthem. angry whenpeoplewhodon’t knowher much moreyettoberevealed.“Iget seem, inretrospect,tosuggestthereis words todetectivesaboutMichelle with theevidence.SomeofMc Gurk’s guilt andofhisduplicityintampering the evidenceconvincedthemofhis detectives areatlibertytodetailhow may notbeansweredattrial,when derer (hepleadednotguilty). precinct, thistimeasanaccusedmur- Police broughthimbacktothe108th with abagofclothesandpassport. they arrived,hewasleavingthehouse er’s homeinWoodside, Queens.When police arrestedMcGurkathismoth- in hisspeculativescenario. possibly inthewayGeberthdescribed and positionofherbodyaf ter death— BlackBerry andalteredthecondition with bloodevidenceandMichelle’s up thecrime,heallegedlytam pered with theknife.Inanattempttocover a bluntinstrumentandstabbingher is chargedwithstrikingMichelle against GaryMcGurkonMay21.He hand downasix-countindictment Queens CountySupremeCourtto evidence convincedagrandjuryin close detailsofwhatwasfound,butthe views, andlookingatphonerecords. (left) canbeusedinhisdefense. is foundnearthevictim.Amismatch for instance,athread from hissweater many times),canimplicateasuspect if, A fibermatch(aboveright,magnified IF THEFIBERFITS Many questions remain that may or Many questionsremainthatmayor Once theindictmentwasissued, Pretrial, theD.A.’s officewon’t dis- SCIENCETRAINING,CENTERFORMODERNFORENSIC PRACTICE, JOHNJAY COLLEGEOFCRIMINALJUSTICE SOURCE: PETERDIACZUK,DIRECTOROFFORENSIC / COSMOPOLIT AN . 173 ..
N Need to Know JAMES WESTMAN/STUDIO D. Stylist: Nancy Sotomayor. tin, anyone?)becameobjects with exoticnames(Loubou- Long beforespikedheels First ofall,there’ Happy Feet gets whenheacquires ararefind. similar tothesatisfactionastamp collector each typeprovidesamini-adrenaline rush tures,” saysFerriss.Asaresult, collecting shoe treesandshelves.“They’re likesculp- think ofhowthey’reoftenstored artfullyon PhD, editorofFootnotes:OnShoes.Just them thatwayornot,”saysSuzanneFerriss, are acollector’s item,whetherwomenrealizetheyperceive brain’s prefrontalcortextermedthecollectingspot.“Shoes strom. Buyingnewfootwearstimulatesanareaofthe traits alsocomefromanotherbrainreaction,saysLind- pleasurable feelinglonger,” saysLindstrom. can wearmultipletimesaweek—sotheyholdontothat pers rationalizeshoesasapracticalbuy—somethingthey when theitemyou’repurchasingisapairofshoes. then flatlines,andguiltstartscreepingin...except,thatis, increases untilyouswipeyourdebitcard.”Usually, thehigh ology: Truth andLiesAboutWhyWe Buy.“Thedopamine ing expertforFortune100companiesandauthorof similar totakingadrug,”saysMartinLindstrom,brand- ter dopamineisreleased,providingafeel-goodhigh, when youtryonanykindofapparel.“Theneurotransmit- wired forshoelust,evenwhenthegoinggetstough. science tohavetheanswer:Turns out,we’vealwaysbeen beating theoddsinsales.Trust fully explainhowfootwearis than hell—butthatdoesn’t just makingyoufeelhotter ing anoutfitfromlastyearor effects—like instantlyupdat- ways hadnear-supernatural buying apairofshoeshasal- same periodlastyear. Yes, have goneupcomparedtothe the recession,footwearsales have plummetedthanksto While salesofmostthings got proofofexactlyhowcrazy: shoe-crazy. Butrecently, we of desire,chickshavebeen But it’s notjustdopamineatwork.Shoes’mood-altering s someseriousmood-boostinggoingon
imaginations—and emptyingourwallets—more thanever. We explainthefascinatingreasons whyfootwearisseducingour BY MINAAZODI WOME F STORY A LOVE SHOES: AND irst ther e wasCinderella, thenthere Bradshaw. was Carrie Obsession them regularly. but wearsonly4 of pairs ofshoes woman owns19 The average Yo “Shop- Buy- u r r SOURCE: NA
TIONAL RESEARCHCENTER # 1 CONSUMER REPORTS cording toDanielAmen,MD,authorofTheBrainin butt lifts,andherbackarches.” a primalmatingposecalledlordosis,”saysFisher. “Her why, exactly?“Whenawomanwearsthem,she assumes rears itshead:sex.Stilettosareundoubtedlyfoxy Now goevenhigher—tostilettos—andanotherelement we stillhaveabitofthatmind-setingrainedinus.” labor. “Shoeswereameasureofclass,”saysFisher, “and heels—everyone elsehadpracticalfootweartodomanual appeal. Inpreviouscenturies,onlythewealthyworehigh status becauseyou’retallerwhenyouwearthem.” at RutgersUniversity. “Highheelscanliterallyraiseyour power,” saysHelenFisher, PhD,professorofanthropology “Like mostanimals,we’rewiredtoassociateheightwith high heels All thosewonderfulfeelingsareintensifiedwhenyouchoose Sexual A HigherPower
But there’s moretoitthanhowhotyourasslooks.Ac- Heels carryhistoricalsignificanceaswell,addingtotheir
...but again,it’s biology, notJimmyChoo,atwork.
Heel it wasjustourlust forhighstyletalking. why shoescanbeerotic.”And wethought gions shareneuralcrosstalk,which maybe with thefeet,”saysDr. Amen.“Thesere- genitals isrightnexttothearea thatdeals of thebrainthatcommunicates withthe that mayassociatefeetwithsex.“Thearea Love, ourmindsarestructuredinaway MARCH 2010 ing N / COSMOPOLIT
AN 175 , but N
Need to Know
About 40 percent of employees have an office romance at some point in their careers.
176 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM ROBERT WHITMAN. Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Conrad Dornan for Shu Uemura Art of Hair. Makeup: Thora at Kate Ryan Inc. for Make Up For Ever. Manicure: Deana Blackwell for Mark Edward Inc. (On her) top: Theory; skirt: Catherine Malandrino; shoes: Velvet Angels; gold bangle: Lia Sophia; bead bracelet: Ettika. (On him) jacket and pants: DKNY. ‘‘ MY BOSS’’ WITH WHYISLEPT pr asked three women to spill the true stories asked three womentospillthetruestories ofile casesmakeitsoundlikeabadidea... the most important part: whatcameofit. part: the mostimportant Having sexwithasuperior?Recenthigh- and yetlotsofpeoplekeepdoingit.W of their secret work affairs, including of theirsecret including workaffairs, head, Charles(allnameshavebeen tions whenImetmynewdepartment I was27andworkinginpublicrela- have beenhorribly embarrassed. to thebathroom.Charlesand I would I crashedintoacolleagueon his way me out.Myfeelingswerehurt—until to pushhimintoastall,buthe hustled room. IfollowedCharlesinand tried I wantedtohavesexinthebarbath- hour nearby, andIdrunkenlydecided night, thewholestaffwenttohappy we didhavesomeclosecalls.One nice tohot.We endedupinbed. his pool.That’s whenthingswentfrom he invitedmetohishouseswimin cop coffee andtalkabouthowwewere leaned oneachotherforsupport. most fouryears,andCharlesI ful breakupwithmyboyfriendofal- that point,Iwasgoingthroughapain- after wemet,hiswifemovedout.At me andmarried...butafewweeks changed). Hewas10yearsolderthan Swim...and More A Late-Night A Late-Night Nobody at work had a clue—though Nobody atworkhadaclue—though At first,itwasjustfriendly:We’d get ing. It was nice. After a few months, ing. Itwasnice.Afterafewmonths, As toldtoHillar
y Quinn e e
MARCH 2010 I was35,heacoupleofyearsolder partment atmymedical-devicefirm. was promotedtothemarketingde- I startedreportingtoDavidwhen that’s allwewereevermeanttobe. through somethingdifficult.And me—we helpedeachotherget how IthinkaboutCharlesand nail drivesoutanother.” Andthat’s clavo sacaaotro he helpedmelookformynextjob. things inlife.HeandIstilltalk, for ittobeover. We wanteddifferent simpler...but Ithinkitwasalsotime firm, andmaybethatmadethebreak the affair. Charleshadjustleftthe work andoutsideit,feltlow. thing butarebound.Thestakes,at also hadnodelusionsaboutbeingany- protected (yes,thatwasnaive).We entire managementteam,soIfelt another job,andIwasfriendswiththe didn’t worry. Charleswaslookingfor on betweenus.Hedeniedit,andwe even askedhimifanythingwasgoing about oursituation—Charles’s boss I said,“Whattook yousolong?” he nervouslyaskedifcould kiss me. ting onmybedforthreehours before a bar. We ended upinmyroom,chat- small ofmybackaswetalkedalone at conference, Davidstartedrubbing the about ayearwhen,atanout-of-town be nocomplications.Was both ofusbeingmarried,therewould flirted withDavid,figuringthat, sex fortwoyears.Cravingintimacy, I point, myhusbandandIhadn’t had riage hadneverbeengreat,butatthat and wewerebothmarried.Mymar- ‘ ‘Business’ There’s asayinginSpanish: Five monthsafteritbegan,Iended Maybe weshouldhavebeenstressed We’d beenworkingtogetherfor /
COSMOPOLIT ’ Out ofTown . It means “One . Itmeans“One I AN wrong. 177 Un , ,
find outyourfirm’s datingpolicies. and subordinates shouldnotdate. And remember: Althoughasurvey THE HUMANRESOURCESASSOCIATION OFNEWYORK; 178 CAREERJOURNAL.COM; BARBARASAF fessionals polled said supervisors fessionals polledsaidsupervisors Even ifthere’s noruleagainstdat- or company-issued mobile device or company-issuedmobiledevice SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT AND SOCIETY FORHUMANRESOURCEMANAGEMENTAND DON’T: may becommon...butthey’re W ing, conductingyourrelationship Read theemployeehandbookto More thanhalfofemployeesina coworkers shouldbeprohibited. policy, 80percent oftheHRpro- SOURCES: JENNIFERLOFTUS,PRESIDENT Sur companies do not have a formal companies donothaveaformal survey said PDA between dating survey saidPDAbetweendating go badly. Sure, he’s potentially would take the heat if things would taketheheatifthings ; POLL BY THE ON THEJOB;POLLBY MANAGING—ROMANCE HELAINE OLEN, COAUTHOR OF HELAINE OLEN, openly in your workplace could openly inyourworkplacecould you act,considertherules. DON’T: reality, it’s underlingswhocan DO: to sendnon-work-related mes- opening himself up to sexual- opening himselfuptosexual- lead tocharges offavoritism. DO: sages ortextstoeachother. e, on-the-jobr seriously risky. Sobefore harassmentcharges, butin found that three-quarters of found thatthree-quarters of ork-Af Playbook EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK FOR FINDING—AND EMPLOYEE HANDBOOKFORFINDING—AND COSMOPOLIT Behave professionally. Pr be atriskofbeingfired. Use yourworke-mail oceed withcaution. Assume your boss Assume yourboss elationships elationships OF CAREERSOLVERS OFFICE MATE: THE THE OFFICE MATE: ANI, PRESIDENT fair fair —LAUREN OTIS AN What -ELECT OF at the office at theoffice / MARCH 2010 Exhibit A: Exhibit A: not
to do
gether everyfewmonthsonbusiness each other…butweonlysleptto- life changedfor thebetter. So evenwiththepainanddrama, my one whoinspiresmelikeDavid did. self-esteem, andIhopefind some- were. Theaffairhelpedmeregain my caught. Iwashappytheway things planning ondivorcingmyhusband. they’re tryingtoworkitout.ButI’m wrote back,thoughDavidlatersaid didn’t wanttolosethem.Shenever that Davidlovedherandhiskids vid’s wife,tellingherthetruthbutalso and wroteaFacebookmessagetoDa- he’d beenthevictimofaseductress. blaming meforeverything,asthough “like men”…andthatDavidwas to tryworkthroughthesituation David andmyhusbandwereintouch computer. ThenIfoundoutthat keystroke-tracking softwareonmy tual housearrestandsecretlyinstalled while myhusbandputmeundervir- afraid formysafety. in thekitchendoor. Iwasactually it allalong!”Hethenpunchedahole fucking him!”hescreamed.“Iknew me inarage.“Icannotbelieveyou’re band readoure-mailsandconfronted it evenmadehimmoreattractive. in partduetohiskids,thatwasokay; our spouseswasneveronthetable, more likeacouple.Thoughleaving rants. We werestillpassionate,but going tobars,we’dgogreatrestau- relationship evolvedtoo:Insteadof the mostcreativeI’deverbeen.Our pounds, waspromotedtwice,and two years,Ialsoblossomed.lost60 asked foratransfer(Iwasdenied). me seriouslyasaprofessional.Ieven That mademefeellikehedidn’t take during discussionsamongcoworkers. office, he’doftendisagreewithme trips. To discouragesuspicioninthe At work,wewrotedirtye-mailsto Do Iregretanything?Yes: getting That wasthelaststraw. Iquitmyjob I endedtheromanticrelationship, Then everythingblewup.Myhus- And yet,overthecourseofnext
old human-resourcesconsultantfor It startedwithlunch.Iwasa31-year all, he was a great boss! all, hewasagreat boss! I thinkhe’llbeagreathusband. After and aretalkingaboutgettingmarried. have beentogetherforthree years (Yeah, I’mnotsosure,guys.) Nowwe people saidtheyknewall along. couple. Thereweregasps,butsome let itsliptocoworkersthatwearea we movedintogether. Soonafter, he to bringourrelationshipwork. sonal life.We werebothcarefulnot I wasabletoseparateitfromourper- he waswrongabout.Itfeltawful,yet (and others)overanissueIthought me, Iwasn’t. Jimonceyelledatme think Iwasbeingfavored.Believe forbid it;wefeltcoworkerswould it secret,althoughourcompanydidn’t sleeping atahotelafterthat. and…well, let’s justsayIstopped apartment, openedabottleofwine, Then onenight,wewentbacktohis three months,allwedidwastalk. adventures wewanttohave.For thing: travel,friendsandfamilies, rants weeklyandtalkingaboutevery- started goingouttobarsandrestau- a drinkafterwork.Iwasthrilled.We the hallandaskedifIwantedtoget About aweeklater, Jimpassedmein miles awayandstayingatahotel. days aweek—commutingfrom100 felt likemorethanaboss. lunch lastedthree.Heimmediately eryone try, whereyouhavetobeniceev- unusual traitinthehospitalityindus- cause wearebothverysarcastic—an date. We madeeachotherlaughbe- view. Butitendedupfeelinglikea nervous—it seemedlikeajobinter- out tolunchindividually, andIwas were bothsingle.Hetookeachstaffer 34-year-old generalmanager. We a hotelchain,andJimwasthenew The Lunch That Didn’tEnd After two years, I left the firm, and After twoyears,Ileftthefirm,and At work,nothingchanged.We kept As aconsultant,Iwasonlyinfew all thetime.Ourone-hour
C OSMOPOLIT AN.COM N -
ROBERT WHITMAN. (On her) bra: Jenna Leigh. (On him) shirt: John Varvatos; belt: Burberry.
Flaunt your inner Marilyn.
Wa50ys to Become a Legendary Flirt Warning: These tips could cause your guy, your friends, and total strangers suddenly to do whatever you say. BY KORIN MILLER Fun and Fearless
Of course, you’ve flirted like a demon on dates, but you’re seriously missing out if you’re not working your magic on everyone in your life. Men, women, your boss, the intern, kids—heck, even your dog—should be on the receiving end of your irresistible charms. Why? Spreading the light- hearted love not only provides a serious ego boost when 5 Act all innocent and people have a positive response, but it also helps you shy when the adorable get what you want—anywhere, anyplace, anytime. UPS guy happens to “Flirting can be sexual, but it doesn’t always have to catch you still in your be—it comes in many forms,” says relationship expert short silk robe at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. Susan Campbell, PhD, author of Truth in Dating. “When you flirt with someone, you make them feel 6 Frequently gush over appreciated and admired, and that makes them more your neighbor’s gorgeous flower boxes or garden receptive to you and willing to help you in any way they and she’ll be more willing can.” Plus, working your mojo cements the bond you to water your plants already have with, say, your best friend or long-term while you’re away on a boyfriend. “It lets them know you still find them as two-week vacation. appealing as ever,” says Campbell. 7 Ask your rubber- Winning someone over in a matter of seconds doesn’t limbed yoga teacher have to involve using your boobs (although there’s a to demonstrate an time and place for that too), so we pulled together a list advanced asana that you’ve “always wanted to of spunky, sexy, silly, and undeniably fun ways to flirt, see done by a pro.” She no matter who you’re looking to lure in. will love the chance to show off...and pay more attention to you in class. FLIRT TO GET USEFUL successfully manages to PEOPLE ON juggle a family with her YOUR SIDE amazing career. 8 Lean on the 1 Try this professional 3 When a relative gives counter at the yet intimate gesture when a sappy toast at a family dry-cleaners you’re introduced to your event, catch your new sis-
JESUS AYALA/STUDIO D. D. JESUS AYALA/STUDIO so that the man’s boss: Take his hand, ter-in-law’s eye and wink. cashier can and use your free one see your (Necklace) to cover his as you shake. 4 Before you ask the statement salesclerk at your favorite necklace 2 Gyno rushing through store to grab you five slip into your your visit? After looking at different sizes, look her cleavage. pics of her kids on her up and down and say
(Monroe) Bettmann/Corbis. office wall, ask how she “That is such a great outfit.”
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 181 FLIRT FLIRT TO PICK UP TO REWARD HOT GUYS (OR YOUR CREW JUST MAKE FOR BEING SO 9 Take a sip of your YOURSELF GOOD TO YOU mocha latte, stare into FEEL SEXY) the eyes of the barista 26 Write an e-mail to who made it, and moan 14 Check out a cutie your BFF out of the “Oh, yeah...that is sooo on the subway for two 21 blue, detailing the top good.” Next time, watch seconds, look away, then Walk up to that 10 reasons she kicks ass. your drink appear glance back at him Taylor Lautner before everyone else’s. through lowered lashes. look-alike 27 Treat your pooch standing alone to an at-home doggy 10 Send your best 15 Sitting in a room full at a party, give massage every a.m. him a playful friend’s mom a written of guys? Turn sideways smile, and say, thank-you note for in your chair, cross your 28 Let your little “I heard there the great advice she legs, arch your back, and would be cousin win at Guitar gave you last week. run your fingers through tons of cute Hero, and ask him to your hair. guys here. give you some tips. 11 Encourage your So far, I’ve only stylist to audition 16 “Trip,” fall against seen one.” 29 Tell your big sis for Bravo’s Shear a man’s chest, and say she’s a total MILF. Genius—because she “Damn, your pecs are so would clearly win. hard, I felt like I was 30 When your male falling into a wall.” friend shares a funny story, 12 E-mail your 22 Hit up a sports bar, laugh and say “You are cubemates a funny 17 Get the indie-music and ask the guy sitting hilarious!” loudly enough story with a note that guy hanging near the beside you what his for everyone to hear. reads, “I know hilarious jukebox to help you pick favorite team is so you’ll people like you out a song. “know who to root for.” 31 Call your dad will appreciate this.” from Home Depot to 18 Ask the motorcycle 23 Ask the hot Best ask his advice on your dude next to you to Buy salesman to help DIY project. tell the story behind his you pick the perfect “awesome” tattoo. birthday present for 32 Talk up your shy your guy friend since friend in front of the guy 13 19 Recruit a hot he’s a “sexy tech genius, she’s crushing on. Get the stranger to do a karaoke like you.” duet with you because overworked (Rose) SVEND LINDBAEK. (Lautner) Jordan Strauss/Getty Images. intern’s you have a feeling he’s 24 Tell the guy run- advice on a “crowd pleaser.” ning on the treadmill at 33 where to take the gym how impressed Send your a friend for 20 Comment on a you are by his grueling grandma 2 cocktails guy’s outfit with some- workout. dozen of her because “a thing like “It takes a lot favorite flower, cool girl like of balls for a man to wear 25 Step off the dance just ’cause. you must pink—I’m into that.” floor and quickly adjust know all the one of your thigh-high SVEND LINDBAEK. D. AYALA/STUDIO JESUS in places.” stockings. Uh-oh, did that hottie sitting a few from left)
feet away catch you? (Drinks,
182 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM Anatomy 34 of a Flirt Brag about That rush you feel when you’re that time your 40 Send him a PG-13 charming a guy’s pants off? It isn’t animal-loving TwitPic showing you just mental. Here’s what happens brother res- naked from your arm- to your bod. cued a stray pits up with a message = puppy while that reads “You can Flushed Cheeks you’re out see the rest tonight.” Blushing is an autoresponse to the adrena- together with line rush you get from making a move…and family friends. 41 When you’re at a dead giveaway that you’re into someone.
the movies, lightly trace = your fingers up and Tingling Tatas down his forearm. As you flirt, a flood of the intimacy hormone 35 Ask your mom if she oxytocin gets your heart pumping, mak- has lost weight. 42 Slip into your ing the twins swell with blood and become fishnets while giving extrasensitive in the process.
36 Next time you need him the eye. === advice, tell your girls Sweaty Palms “You guys will know 43 Ask him to lift that Cozy up to a dude you dig and you’re exactly how I should deal bulky box off the top likely to get palm puddles. Sexually charged with this....” shelf because “I need a interactions trigger the release of the sweat big, strong man for this.” gland–stimulating hormone norepinephrine. 37 Give everyone in your inner circle a flatter- 44 Roll over in bed Below-the-Belt Boost ing nickname, like Man- and lay your hand on his The oxytocin flood doesn’t just affect your Eater and Fashionista. biceps. Give it a gentle breasts; it also causes you to feel a tingly, squeeze and say “Wow.” warming sensation down there.
FLIRT 45 Cheer him on at his pickup football or soc- Weak Knees WITH YOUR cer match, and recap his Feeling like you’re going to topple over BOYFRIEND/ smooth, game-winning when you chat up a hottie is totally normal. The pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine HUBBY TO moves afterward. MAKE HIM rushes through your body, making you feel FEEL LIKE A momentarily weak.
STUD SOURCE: GENERAL INTERNIST HOLLY PHILLIPS Sit in the46 38 Gift him with a kitchen pair of silk boxers to and watch pamper his package 47 Study his face, and tricks, then take on him make since it’s been working his famous remark on how much he other couples. “extrahard” lately. five-alarm- looks like [insert hot fire chili male celeb he kinda- 50 Wear a very short 39 Use your tongue because it’s sorta resembles here]. skirt, and let him follow to get that last crumb you up a long flight of
(Pepper) Image Source/Getty Images. (Pepper) Image Source/Getty Images. “better than off your lips while eat- anything on 48 Grab his ass on your stairs. ing dinner with him. the Food way into a restaurant. SOURCES: SUSAN CAMPBELL, PHD, Network.” AUTHOR OF TRUTH IN DATING; EVE MARX, 49 Get him to teach AUTHOR OF READ MY HIPS; SUSAN RABIN, AUTHOR OF LUCKY IN LOVE AND FOUNDER
(Dog) istockphoto.com. you his expert poker OF SCHOOLOFFLIRTING.COM
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 183 Fe months ago.” costume isanother. Nottomention, Halloweenwas my familyisonething,butgetting deckedoutinafireman is playdress-up withmylittlesister. Gettingalongwith “Whenever myboyfriendcomesover “One ofmyguy’ Bad Sign it wascute,butgotoldreally fast!” whenever hebeatsmeatsomething.Atfirst,Ithought W thenaUwithhishands,makingtheWhatUpsign Fu Extinguish This 184 arless n and COSMOPOLIT
s mostannoyinghabitsismakinga AN / Bi MARCH 2010 , allhewantstodo —Amy, 21
—Ali, 18
background everytimeItrytogetacutepicture withmyfriends.” photo—and abunchofothers—becausehethinksit’s funnytojumpinthe “Not onlydoeshelooklikeacreeper Snap OutofIt tch spends hours‘studying’forthedraft and “I’m datingafantasy-baseballaddict.He naked overhere?” a gamethat’s notevenreal, whenI’m the computer. Whydoyou care about he’s obsessivelycheckinghis scores on ers’ info.WhenIwakeupathishouse, even makesspreadsheets withtheplay- Chain Ball and
, but my boyfriend totally ruined this , butmyboyfriendtotallyruinedthis —Whitney, 24
It “Meet mynewr to bring him home.” to bringhimhome.” my boyfriend‘justhad’ at afleamarket,and They foundeachother What aPig C OSMOPOLIT —Niki, 23 —Charlotte, 22 AN.COM oommate.
Courtesy of subject (5) We love men, but sometimes they SPECIAL drive us freakin’ EDITION: crazy. Check out YOUR GUY, what these chicks EXPOSED Out! have to put up with.
Nailed for Head Case On the Rocks Being Nasty “My picture frames were demoted to “I always feel the urge to kick my guy out of the living “Even though I’ve asked him to stop a a box in the closet to make room room while my shows are on because he’s constantly million times, my husband continues for these sports caps in our bedroom. crunching on ice. Ugh, I just want to relax and watch to clip his toenails in the shower and then My fiancé thinks they are some television in peace!” —Heather, 25 the nails stick to the walls. It is by far the beautiful pieces of artwork!” —Dana, 29 most disgusting thing ever!” —Virginia, 28
Say Frequent Cheesy Flasher “We’ve been together for six years, and I don’t have a “My boyfriend has the annoying habit of not zipping up his fly. We were on single shot of my husband where he isn’t striking a stupid the way to a family gathering, and I reminded him that if he went to the pose or making an ugly face. The closest I’ve come to bathroom to make sure he zipped up. Sure enough, he came back to the getting a normal picture of him is when he’s passed out dinner table with his boxers peeking out. My grandma whispered, ‘Why asleep. He is in his 30s but acts like he’s 5.” —Nicole, 34 don’t you bring home a nice boy for a change?’” —Claudia, 22 tesy of subject (6) COSMOPOLITAN.COM/BITCH-IT-OUT Annoyed beyond belief? Log on to share your pet peeve (and photos). Cour
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 185 Fun and Fearless Dudes don’t really get skanky. So if they took over, they’d simply If Guys compare what they think is hot to… what they think is even hotter. Edited Cosmo By Ky Henderson COSMONEWS sexier sexy vs. skanky
Eva Longoria Parker Hilary Duff and Jessica Szohr Gossip Girl. gets a peck from a pal. go at it on
Frenching a friend hello Kissing a friend hello
…That doubles as A new Camaro… an intergalactic laser-shooting robot
Staying healthy and Eating a big, sloppy looking good burger once in a while Sienna Miller Sienna Miller Chicks wearing Chicks wearing
bikinis half of a bikini vrolet.com; © Paramount/courtesy of Everett Collection; bauergriffinonline.com (2); Soul Brother/FilmMagic; Todd Williamson/WireImage. Williamson/WireImage. Todd Brother/FilmMagic; Soul (2); bauergriffinonline.com Collection; Everett of Paramount/courtesy © vrolet.com;
Not complaining that 5-inch stilettos your feet hurt
Telling us how much Showing us how much you want us when we you want us in the get home from the bar bathroom of the bar
Revealing dresses che wenn.com; Images; Grossi/Getty Majo top) from Revealing dresses with ultrahelpful
easy-access zippers right, to (Left
Ashley Greene Ashley Greene
186 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Fun and Fearless ‘‘ The Naughtiest Thing I’ve Ever Done’’
After months of dealing with a mooching coworker, this girl jumped at the chance to call her out in front of the whole staff. “Do I look like your damn assistant?”
I was psyched when I landed and over. I hated the extra work but table from me and pass off my ideas my first job as a marketing assis- was reluctant to create tension by tell- as her own, I decided to take action. tant at a small academic publishing ing her off and worried I’d seem like Right before our next company-wide house. I said yes to everything and a snitch if I complained to Steve, our meeting, Maggie came over to my viewed even sucky tasks like filing as hard-to-please boss. Maggie no doubt desk to grab her notes, which I had, learning experiences. All my cowork- realized this and was taking full advan- of course, agreed to organize into ers were great…except Maggie (all tage of a naive newcomer like me. talking points. That’s when I slipped names have been changed). She was In the beginning, Maggie was her an outline of my project instead. at my level but obviously didn’t have a sweet and friendly when asking for In the meeting, she cluelessly grip on her responsibilities. Even help. But as time went on, she would started reading it out loud. It wasn’t though I was the newbie, Maggie con- occasionally toss the nice act aside until Steve interrupted her to ask stantly asked me to help her with easy and practically bark orders. I began why she was talking about my assign- stuff, from printing out mailing labels to suspect I was dealing with a seri- ment that the penny dropped. Mag- to transferring phone calls. ously shady character. So when she gie just stared at me, slack-jawed. Now that I think about it, the way confided that she was trying to move Several other people were nodding she dressed revealed a lot about her. to a different department, I volun- and smirking—guess I wasn’t the At first glance, her outfits came off as teered to help her any way I could, only one who knew what a nut Mag- professional and trendy, but when just to get rid of her. gie was. I shrugged and said, “She you looked closer, there was always I couldn’t believe it, but three must have grabbed my notes instead something off—the cut would be months later, she was still there. The of the ones I wrote up for her.” wrong or she’d be wearing three dif- even bigger shocker: She’d been Steve called Maggie into his office ferent shades of black. promoted! Armed for a “chat,” and I was ushered in 30 Unfortunately, in those with a new title, minutes later. The result? She kept first few months, I was GLUTTONS FOR Maggie doubled her her promotion but had to stay in the too blinded by new-job PUNISHMENT requests. I contin- department she hated. And I was nerves to notice. Nearly 50 percent ued to play along promoted after my review three of people who Before long, Maggie are the target of but knew I couldn’t months later, thanks to my excellent had turned me into her workplace hostility take much more. ideas. I felt bad about hanging Mag- have no plans to personal tech support and Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel. Hair: Carlos Vera for visionofvera.com. Makeup: Jillian Chaitin for Nars. Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Tank top: Ogle. This is a professional model. top: Ogle. Tank Manicure: Kim Chiu for Mark Edward Inc. Makeup: Jillian Chaitin for Nars. for visionofvera.com. Vera Hair:Senior fashion editor: Carlos Rebecca Hessel. Finally, after she gie out to dry, but I learned a valuable
leave their job.
tutor—I explained basic SOURCE: KANSAS STATE had the nerve to sit lesson in the process: Give credit UNIVERSITY STUDY WADLEY. procedures to her over across a conference where it’s due...or else. N
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 189 Fun and Fearless
There’s no holding Are You her back. There, Chelsea? Hilarious author, comic, and Cosmo columnist Chelsea Handler will spout off on anything from one-night stands to her love of vodka. So who better to address the trendiest topics right now?
Spring Break fan of their music, and I think they’re Dating Two Men I never took part in spring break. I odd-looking. But in a world full of I’ve never understood how anybody refused to attend those ridiculous young stars like Lindsay Lohan and has the time to date two guys at once. beach outings in college. I mean, I Britney Spears, maybe I should give I barely have the patience for one. I also refused to go to college, but still, these boys a break. At least none of also own a dog, so I feel completely I’m sure I could have wandered down them have ever gone crazy and shaved overwhelmed. Dealing with some- to Florida in March and obtained a their head, gotten arrested, or flashed one in constant need of attention good venereal disease had I wanted their vagina. Perhaps these guys are and who waits at the door for me to. I’m also certain that I would have good role models for kids. Not the kids when I get home can be exhausting. excelled at beer pong. who ever want to be cool or have sex, Not to mention when the dog is but the other kind. there too. If you can’t find what you On-Set Romances need in one man, maybe you should If you’re going to sleep with your Brad and Angelina just be alone. If there’s one lesson costar in a movie, I think it’s impor- Despite the rumors, Brad and Ange- we all should have learned from Car- tant that you divorce your current lina are not going to split up. I do rie Prejean, it’s that it is okay to do spouse first. See: Tori Spelling. See believe that they’re completely miser- things by yourself. also: LeAnn Rimes. I’m pretty sure able, but it doesn’t matter. They have that the Lifetime network alone is too many children to turn back now. Guys Who Frequent responsible for several broken mar- Maybe they got a good return policy Strip Clubs riages. I know some people say it’s on the adopted ones in case things It’s fine if they go from time to time, impossible to work with somebody didn’t work out, but they’d still have a but not regularly. Nobody likes the that closely every single day and not handful of biological kids, which are smell of strawberry lotion and girls fall in love…or at least pork them. I much more difficult to ditch. Fire named after cars that much. If your disagree. See: Chuy. But I do under- stations usually stop taking them after boyfriend’s excuse is that he’s attend- stand that it happens. See: Angelina they reach preschool ing a bachelor party, let Jolie. Or see: Sienna Miller. age. I also assume that him go. If your boy- CHECK OUT Brad is terrified of leav- HER SHOW friend’s excuse is that The Jonas Brothers ing Angelina. Nobody Watch Chelsea it’s Tuesday, you may I’ve never been silent about my feel- wants to piss off a dish the latest have a problem. The gossip and ings on the Jonas Brothers. I find them woman who once wore interview tons only exception to that annoying. I can’t take seriously one somebody else’s blood of celebs on her rule: if he is, in fact, a person who wears anything represent- around her neck and show, Chelsea stripper. In that case, Lately. It airs ing their commitment to remaining a dry-humped her weeknights at he’s just showing good virgin, let alone three. I also am not a brother. 11 on E! work ethic. N Christopher Kilkus/Contour by Getty Images
190 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM
Fashion and Beauty Now 8 Must-Try Trends The latest styles are a lot like you: sometimes sweet and playful, sometimes bold and badass. PHOTOGRAPHS BY MARC BAPTISTE
1THE WHITE TRENCH This classic staple in an updated color adds Bond Girl allure to any outfit.
192 COSMOPOLITAN 2 A LINGERIE- INSPIRED DRESS Delicate lace and figure- tracing lines are a killer date- night combo.
(This page) (Opposite page) dress, Preen trench coat, by Thornton Banana Republic, Bregazzi; bag, $198; dress, MM Marc Jacobs, Couture by Miss $525; earrings, Me, $88; shoes, C. Greene; Tory Burch, bracelet, Siman $325; bag, Tu, $588 Mulberry; brace- lets (from top), Vita Fede, $135; Ted Rossi, $215; ring, Alex Monroe, $195; dog collar, $38, and leash, $60, La Cinopelca 3CLEAR CUTOUTS Transparent panels turn an LBD into an innocent yet provocative peep show.
Dress and bracelets, Michael Kors
BEAUTY TIP: Frosted lips plus peekaboo plastic equals steam- ing hot. Swipe on a silver-tone lipstick, such as MAC’s Metal Maven, $14.
194 COSMOPOLITAN / MONTH 200X Jacket, Roxy, $59.50; tank top, New York & Company, $28; shorts, J.Crew, $49.50; belt, Chinese 4 UTILITARIAN BASICS Laundry, $68; boots, The Frye Company, Snag a cool safari jacket, and $328; bag, Max Mara; rock it with rolled-up shorts and boots. sunglasses, Ray-Ban, $139.95; earrings, Banana Republic, $24; (on left wrist) tigereye bracelet, $88, and brass brace- let, $40, Sisco Family Jewels; watch with leather band, Michael Kors, $140; (on right wrist) leather wrap bracelet, CC Skye, $95; beaded bracelet, A.V. Max, $60
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 195 5 DANCER CHIC The ballerina look is one part feminine, two parts femme fatale.
Bodysuit, Zimmermann, $195; skirt, Bebe, $69; earrings, Melanie Auld Designs, $300; (on left wrist) brace- let, Ranjana Khan, $395; (on right wrist) bracelet, $385, and ring, $220, Ranjana Khan Jacket, Loft, $298; camisole, Ann Taylor, $28; pants, Charlotte Ronson, $195; belt, Forever 21, $8.80; shoes, Elie Tahari, $398; bag, Mulberry; necklace, Lydell NYC, $45 6 THE NEW NEUTRAL Revive beige separates by pairing them with superlight pink. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 197 7GRAPHIC DETAILS A techno print gives fembot sex appeal to a danger- ously tight dress.
Dress, Nicole Miller Collection, $400; booties, Dolce & Gabbana; bracelet, Robert Lee Morris; ring, Alexis Bittar, $175
BEAUTY TIP: Eye- catching rings and bangles call for flaw- less tips. Nail-polish decals, like Sally Hansen 14 Day Nail Shield, $6.99 (in sheer shades), nix drying time.
Fashion director: Michelle McCool Hair: Jason Murillo for Garren NY at Atelier Management Makeup: Renee Garnes for Lancôme at Artists by Next Manicure: Tatyana Molot at Artists by Next Illustrations by Claudia Domingues for Alice + Olivia See page 234 for shopping information. 8 WILD- WEST GEAR Ride ’em, cowgirl! Frills and denim will rope him in every time.
Shirt, $395, bra, $75, skirt, $645, and belt, $395, D&G; necklace, Ginette_NY, $335; (on left wrist) bracelet, Cynthia Desser, $195; (on right wrist) leather and silver bracelets, Waxing Poetic, $55 each; brown bracelet with polka dots, Sisco Family Jewels, $88
MONTHMARCH 200X2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 199 The Hot Hues for Spring
This season’s deliciously delicate shades are perfect for a lazy afternoon spent sipping cocktails and torturing the pool boy. Melrose Place’s resident man magnet, KATIE CASSIDY, shows you how it’s done.
PHOTOGRAPHS BY KENNETH WILLARDT MELLOW YELLOW Cardigan, Ann Taylor, $88; necklace, Kara Ross, $220; bracelets, $238 each (top and middle), $275 (bottom), DANNIJO
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 201 SPLASH OF COLOR Bustier, $368, and shorts, $238, Tibi; shoes, Casadei; sunglasses, Gucci, $295; necklace, $195, bracelet (on left wrist), $325, and bracelet (on right wrist, middle), $155, Alexis Bittar; bracelets (on right wrist), Ben-Amun by Isaac Manevitz, $60 each
BEAUTY TIP: Don’t forget protection when flaunting skin outdoors. Keep it gorgeous with Lubriderm Advanced Therapy Moisturizing Lotion With SPF 30, $7.
202 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 PINK LADY Dress, Dsquared; shoes, Diane von Furstenberg, $280; necklace, CC Skye, $410; ring (on left hand), Ann Taylor, $48; ring (on right hand), House of Lavande, $548 MINT CONDITION Top, DKNY Jeans, $59; skirt, Cynthia Steffe, $425; shoes, Giuseppe Zanotti Design, $680; earrings, Joanna Laura Constantine, $120; bracelets, Jenny Bird, $115 for set of 12
Senior fashion editor: Heather Pfaff Hair: Jason Stanton for cloutieragency.com/ Redken at Cush Salon, Beverly Hills, California Makeup: Christy Coleman at the Wall Group Manicure: April Foreman at the Wall Group See page 234 for shopping information. GOING FOR GOLD Dress, Lulu*s, $63; clutch, Nancy Gonzalez; necklace, Ann Taylor, $128; bracelets, $340 each (top and bottom), $250 (middle), Kenneth Jay Lane; ring, DANNIJO, $225
BEAUTY TIP: Add drama to daytime cocktails by extending Maybelline Eye Studio Gel Eyeliner in Blackest Black, $10, just past your outer corners.
MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 205 I[noXo IWjkhZWo
Got big plans for the steamiest night of the week? If you wait until the last min- ute, you could end up with bikini-line bumps, uneven brows, and dull skin. Instead, do a task or two a day and you’ll walk out the door looking gorge. BY LEAH WYAR
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DEFUZZ YOUR SCORE SMOOTH SKIN LADY PARTS L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY… Lets L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY… Gives your skin recover from any sensitiv- your irritated, just-waxed bikini area ity by Saturday and appear totally plenty of time to heal, so you’ll be flawless and touchable. bump-free on your big night. L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Achieve com- LGET-SEXY SECRETS: Long hairs can plexion perfection with a double get tangled in the wax, upping your slough, or two exfoliation steps in a wince risk; trim them (see “Your Oh- row, suggests dermatologist Elissa So-Hot Tool Kit,” on page 208) until Lunder, of Wellesley, Massachu- they’re as long as a grain of rice. setts. First, rub a physical exfoliator Next, sprinkle on powder to give wax (code for gritty) into wet skin for a better grip, says Shobha Tummala, about 60 seconds. “This loosens founder of Shobha hair-removal the bonds that hold dull, dead skin salon in NYC. Skip the Brazilian cells together,” says Dr. Lunder. (ouch!), and wax the sides of your Rinse, then lather up with a cleanser bikini area only (not your lady bits). made with glycolic or salicylic acid Pre-applied strips let you take off an (both are chemical exfoliators). Mas- even amount of hair on either side, sage it onto skin for a minute, then ideal for shaping a landing strip. leave it on like a mask for another Apply them in the direction of hair minute. Rinse, and pat skin dry. To growth, hold the skin taut, and pull keep those top layers dewy, apply a off the wax, going the opposite way. glycolic acid–rich cream Wednes- Tidy remaining hairs by trimming. day, Thursday, and Friday nights. M[Zd[iZWo
CREATE AMAZING ARCHES L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY… Can head off botched brows. Knowing you have oodles of time prevents reckless plucking (like the kind you do 60 seconds before a hot date). L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Pros are best at major shape changes, but clean- ups are doable at home...and easi- est after a shower. “The steam softens the follicles, so hairs are easier to remove,” says L.A. brow expert Kristie Streicher. First, pencil in your brows darker than usual (line up inner brows with the sides of your nostrils, then follow your natu- ral arch), and step back from the mirror. Like the shape? Tweeze out- of-bounds hairs, pulling in the direc- tion of growth. Not sure a hair should go? Hide it with concealer to get a prepluck preview. Take off makeup, and have one last look-see. PHOTOGRAPHS BY GREG BROOM J^khiZWo BE A BRONZE GODDESS PREP YOUR MANE AND MASTER THE L TACKLING THIS TASK TODAY… GET YOUR MANI ON FINISHING TOUCHES Leaves you time to even out L TACKLING THESE TASKS TODAY… Do these last few steps in streaks...and let the sometimes- Saves you serious style time tomor- order to achieve the final megabombshell effect. smelly chemical scent air out. row and lets your scalp produce 24 L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Jump in the hours’ worth of oil, which grounds L Tweeze new bikini-line hairs. shower, and gently exfoliate all over hot air–induced flyaways. Nails get If hairs are too long for your liking, with a loofah. Dry off, then apply hours of drying time, nixing nicks. groom them with a trimmer. Pull lotion to bony areas (like knuckles, L GET-SEXY SECRETS: Wash your skin taut so you don’t nick it. knees, and wrists), which absorb hair, but apply conditioner to ends L For a total-sexpot twist to your more product. Now grab an only so roots stay perky and fresh. usual makeup routine, apply brown aerosol spray. “They don’t require To avoid buildup and flat hair, use shadow to lids, smudge it out to rubbing in, which can lead to only a styling cream, a multitasker the sides, and dot petroleum jelly streaks,” says Natalie Cupid, that protects wet hair from heat on top to create a sultry sheen, senior technician at NYC’s Sundara damage plus adds shine and suggests Rachel Goodwin, celeb- tanning salon. Get a feel for the smooths frizz, says NYC stylist rity makeup artist for Chanel. sprayer’s speed on paper before Teddy Charles. Blow-dry strands L Set hair in large Velcro rollers, using it. When you’re comfortable, upside down, tugging at roots to and blast them with heat from a clip up your hair, and hop back create volume. When hair is halfway blow-dryer. Let hair cool while into the shower (it can be rinsed of dry, stand up and blow out small you get dressed, then take out the any tanning residue). Holding the sections, winding them with a rollers, and tease the crown area. can 6 inches from skin, mist on boar-bristle round brush. L After you’re dressed, top off using even horizontal strokes. Next up: nails. Push back cuti- exposed self-tanned skin with To tint your back, bend at the waist cles, file tips so they’re even, then bronzing powder. Use a big powder and reach around, spraying from apply a base coat and two coats of brush (ideal for the body), and your neck to butt. Wait 15 seconds color. “Neutral colors camouflage apply in circular motions. so the mist settles, then hang out mistakes, while sparkly formulas L Spritz your favorite perfume naked until you’re dry (about 10 anchor lacquer to the nail,” says on just-moisturized skin. Fragrance minutes). If streaks show up, buff Jenna Hipp, celeb manicurist in L.A. molecules will stick around until the them with a wet loofah. Finish with a thin layer of top coat. wee hours of night. Oekh E^#Ie#>ej JeebA_j All the primpers you’ll need . Dress: Jay Godfrey; earrings: Kenneth Jay Lane. to prep D MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY your little Pull skin taut L’Oréal Paris Go One Tweezerman Sally Hansen Air- Soft shades, like Estée Lauder Spray YSL heart out when shortening 360° Clean Deep Slant Tweezer, brush Sun for Pure Color in Iced Rose, $18, Parisienne, hairs with the Gil- Exfoliating Scrub, $20, is all you’ll Body, $10, Essie Nail Color in Shifting Power, $65—a mix of lette Venus Bikini $7, offers a dou- need for life— sprays upside $8, and CoverGirl Boundless Color rose and peony— Trimmer, $5. ble slough in one simply return it to down, ideal for in Megawatt Mauve, $3.69, hide on top of damp, step, thanks to the company tinting hard-to- chips. Sunsilk Hydra TLC 24/7 lotioned-up skin. salicylic acid and a when it needs reach areas, like Creme, $5, smooths strands. JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO nubby buffing tool. sharpening. your back. (Stills) 208 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM Senior fashion editor: Rebecca Hessel Hair: Leon Gorman for Cutler NYC/Redken at See Management Makeup: Tracy Murphy for Lancôme Manicure: Myrdith Leon- 7d_dijWdjboikbjho McCormack at Ford Artists for m2m damorejon cWa[kf[\\[Yj0 Waxer: Bimala for Shobha, myshobha.com See page 234 for IckZ][oekhb_d[h$ shopping information. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 209 Emma Watson LITTLE THINGS THAT SPOIL YOUR LOOK Check out these A-list babes. Their photos prove that no one—not even someone in the hands of a pro—is immune to beauty slipups. That’s traksphoto why our simple star goof-proofing tips are so Ziyi Zhang Taylor Momsen valuable. Follow them BEAUTY BLUNDER and you’ll Lipstick-Tinted Teeth always be picture-perfect. Bold crimson lip color has an all-eyes-on-you effect—the reason it’s so popular on the red carpet. Trouble is, its rich pigment BY JESSICA R. WHITE seems to have a magnetic pull toward teeth. What’s the deal? “Red shades can be packed with three times more pigment than paler shades,” explains Alan Farer, vice president of color research and development at Coty. “The stark contrast of red on white is simply more noticeable than pink or nude on white.” SOLUTION: Try this trick from celeb makeup artist Brett Freed- ireImage. (Zhang) Francois Durand/Getty Images. (Momsen) Dave Allocca/ (Momsen) Dave (Zhang) Francois Durand/Getty Images. ireImage. man: Apply lipstick, and blot. Next, rub a cotton swab across your teeth to remove any trace of pigment. Then dip the oppo- site end of the swab into petroleum jelly, and rub it over your front teeth. The barrier prevents color from sticking to your atson) Jon Furniss/W JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO D. throughout) JEFFREY WESTBROOK/STUDIO (Stills, D. .com. (W porous pearly whites—plus, it makes your grin extraglossy. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 211 BEAUTY BLUNDER A Mismatched Face and Body Jennifer Lopez Victoria Beckham BEAUTY BLUNDER Camilla Belle Makeup That Makes Part of the Maybelline Eye Studio shadow kit Your Eyes Look Smaller in Pink Passion, $10 A smoky eye is one of the sexiest night-out looks, but going too dark or being heavy-handed can create the illusion of less white space in your eyes, which slims them, says Maral Balian, makeup artist for Warren-Tricomi Salon in NYC. SOLUTION: Black isn’t the only way to sport a smoky set. “Gray, especially if it spar- kles, has a just-as-sexy effect without narrowing the eye area,” says Balian. First, line your upper and lower lash lines with black liner, but keep the line thin—no thicker than a piece of angel-hair pasta. Now swipe gray shadow onto your lids and, using a thin eyeliner brush, apply it over the liner as well to brighten it. Smudge the color to diffuse any harsh edges. Finally, place a white, shimmery shadow in the inner corners and directly above your irises to make eyes pop. BEAUTY BLUNDER Way-Shiny Skin Brittany Snow Celebs have sweltering lights to con- tend with. In real life, high restaurant Even if you’re religious about self-tanning temps or a sweaty night of dancing from head to toe, your face will inevitably can leave you looking like a hot mess. look paler, as it’s washed and exfoliated SOLUTION: Head off slippery skin by more frequently than your body is, and adding these steps to your get-ready that accelerates the fading process. routine: Apply face primer to absorb SOLUTION: Avoid discoloration by using slickness, then even out your complex- bronzer. “Those with pink undertones pre- ion with an oil-free base, says celeb vent orange-looking skin,” says makeup makeup artist Monika Blunder. Set artist Rick DiCecca. We like Estée Lauder everything with translucent powder. Bronze Goddess Bronzing Blush, $32 Rather than using powder to touch up (Lopez) Steve (Snow) Jeffrey Granitz/WireImage. Mayer/WireImage. ireImage. (above). Apply it to your forehead, nose, later (layers of it can look cakey), use and cheekbones and from your jawline to blotting paper—ingredients like rice nix your neck. “Blending these key areas oil sans residue. Press a sheet against Amy Graves/W Jessica Simpson (Beckham) Todd Williamson/WireImage. (Simpson) Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage. (Simpson) Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage. Williamson/WireImage. Todd (Beckham) makes everything match,” says DiCecca. skin so you don’t rub off your makeup. (Belle) 212 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM BEAUTY BLUNDER Rings Around the Eyes What’s worse than sleep-deprived raccoon eyes? Reverse raccoon eyes, or those surrounded with concealer that is too light or chalky. Not cute. SOLUTION: Be sure your concealer is no more than one shade CoverGirl & Olay Simply Ageless lighter than your foundation or skin tone, suggests celeb Concealer, $11 makeup artist Molly Stern. Also, check the ingredients list to make sure the formula doesn’t contain zinc, which can create a white residue that’s supervisible in pictures taken with a flash. Once you’ve chosen a winner, follow Stern’s foolproof color-matching method: Apply concealer to well-moisturized skin (doing so prevents cakiness). Press it on with one finger, which warms and melts the formula, then top it with a thin layer of foundation so it matches the rest of your skin. Set everything in place with translucent powder. BEAUTY BLUNDER Chips All Over Your Tips Like jewelry, nail polish accessorizes your look...and you wouldn’t wear a nicked-up gem- AnnaLynne McCord Eve stone ring, would you? Cameron We’re not suggesting Diaz you have to be mani- cure-perfect all the time (who has the BEAUTY BLUNDER cash for that?), but if you are going out Bedhead Brows and plan on holding a glass of wine all night or are meeting a slew of new Of course, groomed arches are impor- people and will be shaking hands with tant. But even a perfect shape can them, take two seconds to touch up. look out of whack when hairs aren’t SOLUTION: The easiest way to fix chips is ireImage. (Meester) John Parra/WireImage for Victoria’s Secret. (Diaz) Kevin Winter/Getty Images (2). Winter/Getty Images (2). (Diaz) Kevin Secret. Victoria’s (Meester) John Parra/WireImage for ireImage. combed into place, says Rachel with a nail-polish pen (it’s filled with lac- Gangemi, brow specialist at Valery quer) in a shade that matches the polish Joseph Salon in NYC. on your fingers. “One drop will give you SOLUTION: Using a lash brush (like the enough polish to conceal the mistake,” one at right) or clean mascara wand, explains celebrity manicurist Elle. (We (Eve) David Livingston/W brush brows in an up-and-out direction, like Sally Hansen Color Quick Fast Dry until they look uniform. Dot on a little Nail Color Pen, $8.) Let polish dry for 60 water to tame stubborn hairs that stick seconds, then skip the timely application out. Finally, spritz the brush with hair of a top coat and instead apply cuticle oil spray (or use a brow gel) to hold hairs over nails to add shine. It’s also smart to in place. FYI: This should be the last store a packet of nail-polish-remover step of your routine—applying makeup Leighton wipes in your wallet—in cases of major Meester (McCord) Brad Barket/Getty Images. afterward can mess up your work. mess-ups, bare nails are better. Anastasia Mini Duo Brush #7, $18, and See page 234 for shopping information. Clear Brow Gel, $21 MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 213 cBY BETHANYosm HEITMAN o life Weekend Adios, flyaways! Chill With Him A new study just emerged that found watching television is one of Americans’ favorite ways to veg out. Coincidentally, Netflix has simultaneously added a ton of TV shows to its Instant Stream feature (no need to wait around for the DVDs). This Sunday, invite him over to cuddle up and watch episodes of your favorite show—think Lost or 30 Rock. Whip up some popcorn or grab some pretzels, and relish the last few hours of your weekend by just lounging. Brunch Beverage IN OUT Tiny Bubbles: Fizzy Cocktails for Every Occasion Using Champagne, Prosecco, and and Prosecco, (Mimosa) excerpted from Tiny Bubbles: Fizzy Cocktails for Every Occasion Using Champagne, Extraspicy Bloody Mary Mimosa (Extraspicy Bloody Mary) istockphoto.com. Pamper Your Hair Rock Out There’s a new game from XBox that’s The weather is finally warmer—time to undo all the With perfect for weekends when you’re damage the cold air did to your hair. Saturday a.m., try craving something low-key. Invite pals this recipe to boost shine: Mash together 1 avocado, 1 T Friends over, grab some beer and good frozen olive oil, 1 T apple-cider vinegar, and 1 T brown sugar. pizzas (think DiGiorno), and try Lips Work in, and leave on for 5 minutes before rinsing. Or try KIM MYERS ROBERTSON. Aveeno Nourish + Shine Shampoo and Conditioner ($7). ($60, xbox.com). It comes with mikes SOURCE: MATT FUGATE, STYLIST AT SAM BROCATO SALON and lets you do karaoke to cool current (Model) , by Kate Simon. Photographs by Sheri Giblin. Published by Chronicle Books. © 2008. (Lips) courtesy of xbox.com. (Lips) courtesy of xbox.com. © 2008. Published by Chronicle Books. Photographs by Sheri Giblin. by Kate Simon. Wines , Other Sparkling songs. But this isn’t just a sing-along. It also rates how well you keep up. So plan to get your Lady GaGa on. Relaxation Pointer When your weekend is packed full of errands, do something nice for yourself for each thing you get done—like swing by a cute café for a latte. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 215 cosmo life BY JESSICA KNOLL weekend You and Him Tap In to Your Guy’s Weekend He says He asks how He DVRs Brain it’s too hot you like your for your your coffee. favorite 3 Signs He sweater. He’s hoping show. Wants to Translation: you’ll stick Even though Spend He hopes you around he doesn’t HIS PET PEEVE leave it at longer in the love it, he’ll More Time his place and a.m. watch it just “ She shops all day With You come back to keep with her friends and for it later. you around. blows her money SOURCE: GEORGE WEINBERG, PHD, AUTHOR OF WHY MEN WON’T COMMIT on a pair of shoes or a bag. Then I get stuck with the whole dinner tab Fun, that evening.” —Kevin, 29 Fearless Way to Meet a Guy The next time you’re running errands in sucky apix.net.au. weather, bring your tiniest travel umbrella. When Good thing (Male model) you spot a hunk he isn’t a sore loser.... whose umbrella you’d like to get JAMES LANUZA. under, stash Hot Date Together yours in your purse. Approach Play With Him him and ask if March Madness starts on the 16th, so make he’d escort you a Satur day a.m. date at a basketball court. to your car so Tara VanDerveer, head coach of women’s that you don’t get basketball at Stanford Uni ver sity, suggests you get creative with the game H-O-R-S-E. drenched. Then Each player has to replicate the other’s shot (Illustrations) Images. Taxi/Getty (Couple) offer to buy him a and make it to avoid getting a letter, so be drink to thank him crafty by tossing the ball under a leg or for his chivalry. backward. We suggest you ditch the word ALA/STUDIO D. ALA/STUDIO D. H-O-R-S-E for B-A-L-L-S (as in basketballs). Y For every shot made, the other has to do something sexy, like give a steamy kiss. JESUS A (Bag) 216 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM cosmo life at your place BY BETHANY HEITMAN Yo ur Decorating Dilemmas— Solved Eric Cohler, an interior designer in New York City who can make any room look great, comes to the rescue. Q:I can’t afford a headboard for my bed. How do I lose the dorm look? A: Paint a headboard! It is cheap and takes no time at all. Choose a color that complements your bedding, and paint a large rectangle right above where your bed Q: My parents sits. Then, with a contrasting color, paint gave me a 3- to 4-inch border around the rectangle. their old, ugly couch. How can I Q: I have a bunch of photos I want Q:I like the look of a centerpiece modernize it? to display. Any suggestions on how? on my dining table or coffee table, A: Shop for a A: Order varying sizes of prints on a but flowers die. What lasts? simple slip- Website like Shutterfly.com. Then buy A: Buy a large glass vase (they’re cheap cover—you can the same frame in different sizes, and at Pier 1 and Ikea), and fill it with sand find really hang them in groups. If you want or moss balls. You can also set out one or inexpensive the display to be really fancy, pick frames a stack of pretty photo albums on a ones now. that have mats in them. coffee table—they’re fun for guests to Choose a color flip through. Colorful candles are always that goes with a good idea too. the room or opt Q:What’s a simple way to make my for white (it’s puny space appear bigger? actually the A: Most people stay away from dark- Q:I have a duvet cover, and my easiest color to colored paint, but if you use a deep hue on blanket gets all bunched up in care for: If it only your ceiling or one wall, it helps it it. How can I keep it smooth? gets dirty, you recede, making the room seem larger. A: You can find weighted clips at stores can just bleach Getty Images Also, use touches of light colors like Bed Bath and Beyond. Secure them it). Then dress it .com/ everywhere else (throws, vases, artwork, to all four sides of the comforter before up with unique etc.) to make the area feel alive and airy. slipping it inside the duvet cover. pillows. redcover 218 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM ecoatsmo tlifehis up An Easy Wine-Tasting Party You don’t have to be a wine snob. Just gather your crew, serve these bites (they go per- fectly with any vino), and have fun sipping and sampling. It may sound daunting, but a wine tasting can be a no- fuss, really fun way to entertain. Just pick a region (Tuscany, Cal- ifornia, Argentina…), Katie Lee and have each guest bring a bottle from that area. As the hostess, whip up a few tasty hors d’oeuvres. That’s it. You will be stress- free and save a bundle on booze. 1 Devils on Horseback ⁄3 cup Dijon mustard Gruyère (or your fave firm cheese) 2 cups seasoned bread crumbs Blue (like Roquefort) ¾ teaspoon kosher salt Grapes Everyone will love the salty-sweet combo of ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper Sliced apples the bacon and the dates! Honey mustard or duck sauce, for serving Dried fruit (like apricots and figs) Skewers Nuts 24 pecans Crackers and crusty bread 24 pitted dates Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking 8 slices bacon (don’t use thick-cut), cut sheet with parchment paper, and spray with Arrange on a tray for guests to nibble on crosswise into thirds nonstick cooking spray. Thread chicken pieces throughout the evening. 1½ to 2 cups mango chutney, for serving onto skewers, working the skewer in and out of the meat. Brush chicken with Dijon mustard. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking In a shallow dish, combine bread crumbs, Wine-Tasting Tips sheet with parchment paper. Insert a pecan salt, and pepper. Dredge each chicken skewer into each date. Wrap each date with a piece of in bread-crumb mixture until evenly coated. LAssign friends to bring white, rosé, bacon, and secure with a toothpick. Place on Place skewers on prepared baking sheet, and and red so you don’t end up with too baking sheet, and bake until bacon is crisp, bake until cooked through, about 8 to 10 min- many bottles of one variety. about 8 to 10 minutes. Drain on a paper towel, utes. Serve with mustard or duck sauce. LNothing ruins nice wine like drinking and serve with mango chutney. it out of a plastic cup, so invest in a set The Perfect Cheese Plate of wineglasses. Stores like Ikea or a res- Dijon Chicken Satay taurant-supply store should have some Food stylist: Susan Vajaranant. Prop stylist: Thom Driver for Halley Resources. (Lee) PETER MURDOCK. Thom Driver for Halley Resources. Prop stylist: Vajaranant. Food stylist: Susan as inexpensive as a dollar or two. . Choose a variety of cheeses with a range of LProvide bottled water so that Meat on a stick: This makes eating one- textures and flavors. handed so much easier. nobody gets tipsy. LPut out notepads and pens so Goat cheese (chop a handful of fresh herbs, 1½ pounds boneless, skinless chicken and roll the goat cheese in it) guests can write down the names of breasts, cut into strips their favorite wines. Brie LARA ROBBY/STUDIO D 220 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM 222 heavier friend, they were more likely to eat lighter. lighter. eat to likely more were they friend, heavier well. Yet as when wentheartily they a out to eatwith subconsciously who they chowed pal down, ate thin W A W You MayOvereat beef, fewer or has fish 300 calories. than A 3-oz. serving of skinless chicken, trimmed protein up fires your calorie-burning ability. B h healthy sexystr Le M en young adults in a recent study dined out with a en young arecent a adults in out study dined with e cause it requires more energy to digest, digest, to energy more requires it cause e c COSMOPOLIT tabolism Booster eir o a smo life smo d Reason d Reason n Protein AN / MARCH 2010 SOURCE: FOOD FIGHT JOURNAL OFCONSUMER RESEARCH Hot-Fudge Hot-Fudge fat gramsare theartery- Thanks tothemilkin clogging saturatedkind. Too badit’s negatedby ice cr fat counts; 22 of those fat counts;22ofthose the hefty calorie and the heftycalorieand Sundae has some calcium. has somecalcium. eam, this dessert eam, thisdessert Calories: Fat: 30grams 540 vs treat, it’s lessdamaging. saturated. Ifyoucravea those fatgramsare the sundae,andonly7of 130 caloriesfewerthan value. Still,onebrownie is has noreal nutritional Gooey andchocolaty, it Fat: 24grams Calories: . joe averages around 60calories. each. Aregular hot cupof but theyhaveabout240calories sooo satisfyingincoldweather, Sweetened cof F C Brownie ast F h 410 ocolate ocolate protein. Afewideas:peanutbutter on whole-wheatcrackersorGreek If you’re sur (and youdon’tjusthaveexercise- something that’s part- part-carb, act induced faux cravings), go with induced fauxcravings),gowith yogurt withfruit,saysTanyayogurt “ on after aworkout?”on after Zuckerbrot, RD,founder fee concoctionsar W of skinnyinthecity.com. SOURCE: CAR hat should I snack hat shouldIsnack Q &A e youreally are hungry VEL ANDST ARBUCKS NUTRITIONALINFORMATION ong e e C OSMOPOLIT AN.COM (Top to bottom, from left) StockFood/Getty Images; Dorling Kindersley/Getty Images (2); Flickr RF/Getty Images. side for sex—undressing takes too long. side forsex—undressing takestoolong. you wanthim par The funMoonwantsyoutohosta cocktail Y 224 T Aries With impatient Uranus ruling, impatientUranusruling, Love advice:With the 4th,mentionthatyouloveColts. team).Whenyouseehimnear his favesports learn newinfoaboutyoursecret crush(like Dating tip:ThankstostrategicMercury, you Later, letyourguyinonthetechnique. your G-spot,andmastertheblendedorgasm. 15th. Sohaveapleasure forone. Find party Moon makesalonetimeapriorityafterthe people overformargaritas, mojitos,and ou usuallylovetopar Feb. 23,1983 Emily Blunt aur ty. Onthe20th,inviteasmallgroup of Pisces BIRTHDAY GIRL (FEB. 18–MARCH 20) COSMOPOLIT us . Push your undies to the bad. Pushyourundiestothe ty, butthesecluded (MARCH 21–APRIL19) AN (APRIL 20–MA / MARCH 2010 forward to...forward andwhatto watch outfor. G Y 19) et asneakpeekatwhatt Probing Plutouncoversanastysecret within possible, plantogooutoftownnearthe25th. Gemini Cancer What mak W Strengths: for themtocomeyou). them asmilebutthenwait intoxicatesguys(you’llgive Your mysteriouscharm andgirliegirl. down-to-earth out of Brave Jupitertemptsyoutotakeatrip;check out flavored lubetokickupforeplay anotch. Love advice:Theerotic Sunsaystobreak number—he’ll textyouwithin24hours. chemistry. Don’tleavewithoutgivinghimyour happy hour, andtheromantic Moon creates Dating tip:Afriendbringshercoworkerto energy attractstonsofmen. rowdy onthedancefloor. Bonus:Your positive Invite allyourfriendstoafunclub,andget could comeyourwayafterthe7th.Celebrate! at work—apromotion oranexcitingproject Thanks toluckyJupiter, yougetgr background (try homemade guac.Playahotmovieinthe Y for directions. Help him out, then invite him to for directions. Helphimout,theninviteto Moon inspires acuteout-of-townertoaskyou Dating tip:Closetothe12th,fortuitous want toavoidthedrama. your socialcircle around then.Trust us,you’ll ate, artistic, intuitive ate, artistic, sitive, unr prise factormakesyourhookupsointense. stop byhisplaceaftergirls’night.Thesur- Love advice:UnderspontaneousMars, mutual friendtotellhimyou’re intohim. tease, soplayitcoolthatnight,thenaska friend showsinterest ataparty. He digsa Dating tip:AssultryVenus circulates, aguy sex scene)tosetaseductivetone. Love advice:ExoticVenus suggestsgoing meet youatalocalhotspotlaterthat night. down oneachotherintheshower. ou’r eaknesses: e the ideal blend of e theidealblendof f-season destinations,likeEurope. If ealistic, suspicious Compassion- es youse —it has a Leonardo Celebrity—it hasaLeonardo Overlysen- xy: (JUNE 21–JUL (MA Y 20–JUNE20) the 6th.Inviteguyyou’re calls foranunusualdateon Dating tip:RadicalUranus control issodamnsexy. guy youcraveoral.Beingin bitchy remark ortellyour 17th, calloutafriendfor under theboldSunnear not yourstrong suit,but Y Speaking yourmindis our bir eat news eat news o look o look Y 22) thday month: thday month: waiting for before dinnerwithfriends.Ahottiewho’s up 20minutesearlytoenjoyasolodrink Dating tip:CaptivatingVenus saystoshow ule arefreshing oxygenfacial. rewarding yourselfwillbeano-brainer. Sched- a singleday. You’ll feelsoaccomplishedthat babeland.com andpickoutanewsextoy. into someX-ratedshoppingtogether. Goto Love advice:ThetitillatingSuncoaxesyou girls, soproceed withcaution. FB page.Hispicsreveal arevolving doorof the inquisitiveMoonadvisesyoutolookathis Dating tip:Whenanewguyasksyouout, place onthe7thandshare thescoop. center stage,sorallypalsatafavoritebrunch an oldflame)nearthe4th.Leoslovetobe store foryou(thinkanunexpectedvisitfrom 31st, opportune Jupiter says to fake-spill your Jupitersaystofake-spillyour 31st, opportune Dating tip: icing onthecake? A sexy, sculptedass. rev upyourenergy duringthisbusytime.The you’ll feelblah.Taking ana.m.Spinclasswill Le Libra Vir but don’tputworkoutsonthebackburneror Overwhelming Saturnjam-packsyournights, vantage byplowingthr Patient Saturnrulesafterthe21st.T W under thegutsy Moon—he’ll pounce ASAP. Love advice:Walk around inslinkylingerie for aslowieinspired bylanguid Neptune. Love advice:Getintobedearlyonthe9th cup. Acuteguywillhelpyoucleanup. ith excitingJupiterinplay o go his While grabbing coffee on the onthe Whilegrabbingcoffee buddywillaskyouout. your-clothes-off mood. your-clothes-off you bothinanI-wanna-rip- The adrenaline rushwillput go onthescariestrides. seeing toathemepark,and Love advice: way withhim. climb ontop,andhaveyour wrists abovehishead, Use aheadbandtobindhis V enus saystoupthekink. BY ST ough your to-do list in ough yourto-dolistin C OSMOPOLIT (AUG. 23–SEPT (SEPT , a surprise is in , asurpriseisin (JUL ACEY WOLF Y 23–AUG.22) . 22–OCT Daring AN.COM ake ad- . 22) . 21) Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic Pisces: Best Scorpio (OCT. 23–NOV. 21) Capricorn (DEC. 21–JAN. 19) Love Matches Midmonth, the creative Sun triggers your The 17th will be a big night—think a friend’s artsy side. Sign up for a pottery or photog- bachelorette party or an anniversary dinner raphy class. Hot tip: If you’re in a relationship, with your man. Daring Jupiter urges you to use your skills on your guy. Coat him in ed- sex up your look for the occasion. Buy a ible body paint or take XXX pics together. sheer top (a major spring trend) that’ll reveal (Don’t forget to delete the evidence.) a lacy cami underneath. Dating tip: You’re horny, thanks to the in- Dating tip: Although preppy guys are more satiable Moon. On the 3rd, text an old booty your type, experimental Uranus says to flirt call for a no-strings-attached hookup. back when a hipster hits on you. Love (or at Love advice: Passionate Jupiter wants you least a hot tryst) is definitely in the air! to try this naughty idea with him: Have sex Love advice: Under generous Jupiter, give Cancer Scorpio every day for the entire month. him a deep-tissue butt massage. Chace Crawford Leonardo DiCaprio Sagittarius (NOV. 22–DEC. 20) Aquarius (JAN. 20–FEB. 17) July 18, 1985 Nov. 11, 1974 The competitive Sun has you gunning for a The lucky Moon brings you extra cash after new challenge. One example: Join a charity the 18th, but the stars say you’d be smart The Crab’s He’s tradi- group to raise money near the 16th. The to save. In a few months, you’ll want to dependable tional (like stars say you’ll meet a cute do-gooder who’ll spend those funds on a cool experience, nature wins giving you his fall hard for your ambitious streak. like a summer beach rental. your trust— jacket), which Dating tip: Under unexpected Uranus, a Dating tip: Playful Jupiter has you going no easy feat. you find hot friend of a friend moves to your town on a fun double date with a coupled-up friend Your deep romantic. He’s before the 9th. Offer to take him to your fave and her guy’s buddy on the 7th. Do some- connection determined to sushi spot and give him an insider’s tour. The thing active, like ride ATVs or take a hike. It’ll makes sex please you stars predict this will be a spicy match. draw you closer than dinner and a movie. an intense, in bed, so tell Love advice: Suggestive Venus says to Love advice: Sexy Venus says to turn off soulful him what make a classic board game racy. For every your iPhone, laptop, and TV and explore his experience. gets you hot. wrong answer, remove an item of clothing. untapped moan zones (turn to page 122). Turning Him On The stars reveal how to tantalize your man based on his sign. Pisces Cancer Scorpio Thanks to impulsive Uranus, he’s up for anything Analytical Mercury has him reevaluating his life Steamy Venus has him all over you. Make a sex- near the 3rd. Play hooky: Do brunch and a mati- plan—like if he should go back to school. Let him triathlon date near the 7th—start on the couch, nee...and make out in the nearly empty theater. talk it out over burgers and beers on the 17th. move to the stairs, and end in the shower. The move he’s craving: A steamy view. Touch The move he’s craving: On-the-go action. Have The move he’s craving: Verbal passion. Say yourself during you-on-top sex. him pull over, and get it on in the backseat. the words he’s dying to hear: “I’m coming.” Aries Leo Sagittarius He is MIA under the reclusive stars but will resur- He’s lusting after you near the 16th, as the intense This outgoing guy prefers quiet nights under the face on the 10th once energetic Mars rules. Have Moon rules. Turn him on even more by tucking mellow Moon. Cook pasta at his place around the an all-night sexathon to make up for lost time. lacy panties into his pocket before work. 14th, wearing his button-down and nothing else. The move he’s craving: Neck action. Lightly The move he’s craving: Playful pain. Lightly The move he’s craving: A challenge. Master nibble all the way down to his collarbone. spank him or pull his hair midaction. the tricky art of sex against the wall. ireImage. Taurus Virgo Capricorn The macho Moon makes him crave guy time near Passionate Uranus makes this stoic guy romantic He’s chained to his desk, thanks to hardworking the 15th. Plan a girls’ night, but have your groups on the 6th. He’s craving sensual sex, so hold his Mercury. He’ll want a distraction on the 17th, so meet up later...and let the coupling up begin. gaze during missionary and moan his name. bring by a late dinner. Since you’re all alone, slip The move he’s craving: A tease. Text him at The move he’s craving: A sexy plan. Meet into the coat closet for a steamy kiss. dinner “Let’s skip dessert. I just want you.” during lunch hour to squeeze in a quickie. The move he’s craving: A.M. oral. Turn off his alarm, and wake him up with your lips. Gemini Libra ilmMagic; Eamonn McCormack/W Guided by expansive Jupiter, he gets a career He turns into a gym rat under the disciplined Sun Aquarius boost around the 5th. Take him out for a cham- after the 20th. Have a treadmill contest: The one Lucky Jupiter puts extra cash in his pockets. When pagne toast, and then head home to continue the who runs the farthest in half an hour gets to order he’s tempted to blow it on the 21st, help him resist celebration between the sheets. the other one around in bed afterward. by proposing a free plan: naked night with you. The move he’s craving: Extra stimulation. Hold The move he’s craving: A public tryst. Open The move he’s craving: Stop-and-go action. a small vibrator against the base of his penis. the blinds, turn on the lights, and get busy. Bring him to the brink, pause, then start again. (From left) Soul Brother/F COSMOPOLITAN.COM/ASTRO Find out what the stars have in store for you every day. 226 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM Th 228 Kauffman... Trouble, byDonna Fr some action. tosee start bedrooms finally those vacant checks in, Hennessey mysterious Brett when sexyand Vermont. But B andin newly opened at KirbyFarr Business isslow om Here Comes COSMOPOLIT ell’s e Li AN / ous chemistry ner. Theytalkforhours,andKirbyfeelsseri- man heisinmore waysthanone.... inn...and thenproveswhatan experthandy- around andevenofferstohelp fixupthe move, becauseinthemorning, Brettsticks say anything.Itturnsoutto betheright sexiest (andonly)guest,she resolves notto private matter. Notwantingtoscareoffher East Coast,butitseemsobviousthatit’s a what hadbroughthimtohertinyinnonthe poker playerfromVegas. Kirbywantstoask goes tobed.Shefindsoutthathe’s afamous does aGooglesearchofhisnameafterhe avoids talkingabouthimself.Curious,she him fromsomewhere. Kirby can’t shakethefeelingthatsheknows like theoutdoorsytype.Notonlythat,but jacket andsexytee,Brettdoesn’t exactlylook torcycle andbooksaroom.Inhisleather geous BrettHennesseyrollsuponhismo- guest—that is,untilthemorninggor- mont’s history, andshedoesn’t haveasingle MARCH 2010 T he firstnight,BretthelpsKirbycookdin- K opened tothewarmestwinterinVer- irby Farrell’ mits of Lust of mits . ButshenoticesthatBrett s newB-and-Bskilodge tall he was, and she felt her desire surge. tall hewas,and shefeltherdesiresurge. her. Sherealizedforthe firsttimehowbigand around, Brettwasstandingjust inchesfrom grabbed thefirst-aidkit.When sheturned kitchen,” shesaid.“Followme.” swallowed hard.“IhaveBand-Aidsinthe muscular back.“Howbadisit?”heasked. reveal aredlinerunningacrosshisbroad, turned aroundandpulleduphisteeshirtto a nailthatwasstickingoutofthewall.”He trying tohelpout.ButIscratchedmybackon thought Icouldcoverthedoor—” to getwater. Isawthemeshonporchand clutched hisbackwiththeother. “Icamedown are youdoing?”sheasked. side ofthenowscreenlessporchdoor. “What foyer andfoundBrettcrouchingontheother Fix-Up back oftheBandB.Shewalkedinto when sheheardsomeoneswearinginthe Kirby wasdrinkingcoffeeinthekitchen In the kitchen, Kirby opened a cabinet and In thekitchen,Kirbyopeneda cabinetand Kirby tookinthesightofhisbareskinand “I know,” hesaid,hisexpressiontight.“Just “You reallydidn’t havetodothat.” Brett heldarollofmeshinonehandand C OSMOPOLIT AN.COM ROBERT WHITMAN Brett took the kit and placed it on the over yet, Kirby put her hands on his Kirby held onto his shoulders, her counter. Kirby reached out to help him shoulders to stop him. As if reading her head leaning back in ecstasy. open it, and his fingers brushed hers. mind, Brett said, “I’ll be right back.” They found their rhythm, and Kirby Slowly, his stroke became more delib- felt the momentum build. Brett leaned erate over the back of her hand. Kirby Lust in the Kitchen forward, pressing her against the wall looked up, and their eyes locked. Kirby nodded, and he hurried off. A and burying himself deep inside her. “Kirby.” Brett’s voice was low and few moments later, he returned with His breath was hot against her neck. raspy. He lifted his fingers to her a condom. When he pushed off his He took her mouth in his own, and chin, forcing her to hold her gaze. pants, Kirby paused to marvel at his the sweet release hit them at the same “Am I the only one thinking about unbelievable physique. His member time. Kirby gripped Brett’s shoulders this?” he asked. was thick and erect, and Kirby took so hard, her fingers cramped, and she Kirby felt breathless. It was exactly the condom from Brett’s hand and cried out his name. what she wanted to hear, but she rolled it on. Then she wrapped her As their breathing slowed, Brett couldn’t stop wondering what had arms around his neck and tilted her said, “Hold on.” driven him out of Vegas. “You’re not,” face to kiss him again. Kirby tightened her legs around she said, “but I barely know you.” Brett gripped her hips and pulled him, and he turned so he could lay her “I know I’ve been holding back,” up her thighs, urging her to cross her down on top of their discarded clothes Kirby replied. “But what brought me here doesn’t matter. All that does is what I feel for you.” His green eyes blazed with sincerity, and Kirby decided she didn’t care what his secret was. She pressed her body into his and kissed him deeply. Playing to Score Brett pushed his hands through her long blond hair then slid them down her shoulders, grazing the outer sides of her breasts. His mouth moved slowly down her neck. Kirby ran her fingers up and down Brett’s back as he undid the buttons on her shirt. Before unclasping her bra, Brett Kirby gasped as Brett moved flicked his tongue over the sheer material. Kirby cried out, and Brett lower and closed his slowly peeled the now damp, flimsy mouth over her bare breasts. fabric from her skin. She gasped as he closed his lips over her bare breasts and, as he moved lower, ankles behind his back. He hiked her on the floor. Then he settled beside kissed her stomach. up further, until her face was even with her and drew her to his chest. When he unbuttoned her pants, his. Then slowly, he slid down the wall, As her racing pulse slowed, Kirby Kirby felt her knees go weak. Brett’s taking her with him…and onto him. found herself again wondering about own low groan of appreciation as he Kirby gasped as he entered her. Brett. She wished she didn’t care, but tugged her pants down her hips had “It’s okay?” Brett asked. when his fingers began to stroke her her splaying her palms flat against the “Very,” she said. back, she felt her heart being squeezed. wall to hold herself upright. He grinned and kissed her, lifting And she knew that if they kept this up, “Yes,” she moaned as his tongue her hips away from the wall so she even for just a little longer, it was going found her. could control the movement. to hurt like hell when he left. N Her hips moved with him, establish- Their kiss was broken when Brett Adapted from HERE COMES TROUBLE, ing an erotic rhythm that could drive leaned back onto his hands. He arched by Donna Kauffman. Copyright © 2010. her over the edge. Not wanting it to be his hips and drove deeper into her. Published by Kensington Publishing Corp. MARCH 2010 / COSMOPOLITAN 229 SHOPPING INFORMATION TABLE OF CONTENTS GET A GORGEOUS HAIR HUE PAGE 14: Rebecca Taylor—Neiman Marcus; PAGES 110 TO 114: Streekers—streekers Cusp; cusp.com. Robert Lee Morris—Robert .com. L’Oréal Professionel—lorealprofessionel Lee Morris Gallery, New York City, 212-431-9405. .com. Dior—Dior beauty counters nationwide. C. Greene—Broken English, Los Angeles, 310- Avigal—amazon.com/beauty. 458-2724; brokenenglishjewelry.com. 8 MUST-TRY TRENDS CARRIE UNDERWOOD IN LOVE PAGE 192: Banana Republic—banana PAGES 42 TO 46: Fendi—fendi.com. Robert republic.com. MM Couture by Miss Me— Lee Morris—Robert Lee Morris Gallery, New mmcouture.com. Tory Burch—toryburch.com. York City, 212-431-9405. Gemma Redux— Mulberry—Tender, Birmingham, Minn., 248- gemmaredux.com. DANNIJO—Bloomingdale’s; 258-0212. Vita Fede—vitafede.com. Ted American Rag; Bergdorf Goodman. YSL—ysl Rossi—tedrossi.com. Alex Monroe—alex .com. Costume National—costumenational monroe.com. La Cinopelca—zoomiesnyc.com; .com. Zoomies store, New York City, 212- 462-4480. PAGE 193: Preen by Thornton Bregazzi— FUN FEARLESS FASHION Curve stores, Los Angeles, 310-360-8008; PAGE 79: Aryn K—Select Dillards. Ted Rossi— Miami, Fla., 305-532-6722. Marc Jacobs— Henri Bendel, New York City; 800-HBENDEL. Old Marc Jacobs boutiques nationwide; marcjacobs Navy—Old Navy stores. Coach—Coach stores; .com. C. Greene—Broken English, Los Angeles, 866-262-2440. 310-458-2724; brokenenglishjewelry.com. PAGES 80 TO 81: Go Jane—800-UGOJANE. Siman Tu—Siman Tu Gallery, New York City, DKNY Jeans Jrs.—Macy’s; 800-777-4524. 212-237-327-4326; simantu.com; customer Diesel—Diesel stores nationwide; 877-433-4373. [email protected]. PAGE 86: Elle—Select Kohl’s stores. PAGE 194: Michael Kors—Select Michael PAGE 90: Forever 21—Select Forever 21 and Kors stores; 866-709-KORS. XXI Forever stores nationwide. A.P.C.— 212-966- PAGE 195: Roxy—roxy.com; NY & Compa- 0069; A.P.C. stores, New York City, 212-966- ny—nyandcompany.com. J.Crew—jcrew.com. 9685; West Hollywood, Calif., 323-297-0414. Chinese Laundry—514-279-6328; customer Marc Fisher—Macy’s. [email protected]. The Frye Company—thefryecompany.com. Max Mara— BEAUTY NEWS Max Mara store, New York City, 212-879-6100. PAGE 93: Chanel—chanel.com. Givenchy— Ray-Ban—Sunglass Hut; sunglasshut.com; parfumsgivenchy.com for store locator. Victo- 800-SUNGLAS. Banana Republic—banana ria’s Secret—victoriassecret.com. Estée republic.com. Michael Kors—michaelkors.com. Lauder—esteelauder.com. O.P.I.—Ulta stores. CC Skye—ccskye.com. A.V. Max—avmax LaRocca—laroccaskincare.com accessories.com. Sisco Family Jewels— siscofamilyjewels.com. HIS PICKS PAGE 196: Zimmermann—Salon9 Showroom PAGE 94: Beyoncé Heat—Department stores. by special order, 212-354-9220. Bebe—bebe Givenchy—givenchybeauty.com. SJP NYC— .com. Melanie Auld Designs—melanieauld Department stores. designs.com. Ranjana Khan—Neiman Marcus (bracelet); Saks Direct (ring); Angela, Menlo Park, WAKE UP SEXIER! Calif., (cuff). PAGE 98: Kiehls—kiehls.com. Origins— PAGE 197: Loft—loftonline.com. Ann Taylor— origins.com. Nic’s Sticks by O.P.I.— nicolebyopi anntaylor.com. Charlotte Ronson—Charlotte .com for store locator. Cosmedicine—cos Ronson store, New York City. Forever 21— medicine.com. forever21.com; select Forever 21, Forever XXI, and For Love 21 stores. Elie Tahari—Elie Tahari THE PERFECT PINK FOR YOU Collection boutiques; elietahari.com; 212-334- PAGE 100: Dior—Dior beauty counters nation- 4441. Mulberry—Garmany, Red Bank, N.J., wide. Estée Lauder—esteelauder.com. Avon— 732-888-2127. Lydell NYC—lydellnyc.com. avon.com. Lancôme—lancome-usa.com. PAGE 198: Nicole Miller Collection—nicole MAC—maccosmetics.com. Chanel—chanel miller.com. Dolce & Gabbana—Select Dolce & .com. Clinique—clinique.com. Gabbana boutiques; dolcegabbana.it; 877-70-DGUSA. Robert Lee Morris—The Rob- BEAUTY Q&A ert Lee Morris Gallery, New York City, 212-431- PAGE 104: Nicole by O.P.I.—nicolebyopi.com 9405. Alexis Bittar—alexisbittar.com; Alexis for store locator. Essie—essie.com for store Bittar store, New York City, 212-727-1093. locator. PAGE 199: D&G— Bergdorf Goodman (shirt and skirt); yoox.com (shirt only); D&G boutiques BEAUTY CHEAT SHEET nationwide; 800-979-9308 (skirt and belt only); PAGE 106: John Frieda—Drugstores nation- neimanmarcus.com (bra only). Ginette NY— wide. Ginette NY stores, New York City, 917-365-4838. 234 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM Cynthia Desser—cynthiadesser.com. Sisco previously published, and does not contain any Family Jewels—siscofamilyjewels.com. Wax- material that would violate or infringe upon the ing Poetic—waxingpoetic.com; 877-724- rights of any third party, including copyrights, trade- 5434. marks, or rights of privacy or publicity. A panel of Cosmopolitan editors will select 51 semifinalists, one from each of the United States and one from THE HOT HUES FOR SPRING the District of Columbia, from qualified applications PAGES 200 TO 201: Ann Taylor—anntaylor based on the content of the nomination letter and .com. Kara Ross—barbarajean.com; 800-207- the photos submitted. Cosmopolitan editors will 2590. DANNIJO—Henri Bendel (top bracelet); select semifinalists from April 19 to April 26, 2010; their decisions are final. The semifinalists may be dannijo.com (middle bracelet); JAKE, Chicago, notified by phone or e-mail starting May 3, 2010. 312-664-5253 (bottom bracelet). Each semifinalist is subject to the following criteria: PAGE 202: Tibi—net-a-porter.com. Casadei— (1) must be a legal U.S. resident between the ages Wynn, Las Vegas, Nev. Gucci—Solstice sunglass of 18 and 40 at the time of entry; (2) must be male; boutiques; solsticestores.com; 866-246-9043. (3) must be unmarried and cannot currently have a Alexis Bittar—alexisbittar.com; Alexis Bittar girlfriend; (4) cannot have posed showing full-fron- tal nudity for any sexually explicit Website or publi- store, New York City, 212-727-1093. Ben-Amun cation. Cosmopolitan editors reserve the right to by Isaac Manevitz—212-944-6480; ben-amun disqualify winners at their discretion. Void in Puerto .com. Rico and where prohibited by law. Contest is subject PAGE 203: Dsquared—Oxygene, Bal Harbour, to complete official rules available at cosmopolitan Fla.; Diane von Furstenberg—Diane von Furst- .com/bachelors. enberg, New York City, 646-486-4800. CC Skye—ccskye.com. Ann Taylor—anntaylor Do you have a problem with your subscription? Are you moving? Get help at our customer-care .com. House of Lavande—House of Lavande, Website at service.cosmopolitan.com. Palm Beach, Fla., 561-802-3737; houseof lavande.com. COSMOPOLITAN (ISSN 0010-9541) IS PUBLISHED PAGE 204: DKNY Jeans—Macy’s; 800-777- 12 TIMES A YEAR BY HEARST COMMUNICATIONS INC., 300 W. 4524. Cynthia Steffe—By special order at the 57TH STREET, NEW YORK, NY 10019: FRANK A. BENNACK JR., Cynthia Steffe showroom, New York City, 212-403- VICE CHAIRMAN AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER; GEORGE R. 6200. Giuseppe Zanotti Design—Giuseppe HEARST JR., CHAIRMAN; CATHERINE A. BOSTRON, SECRETARY; Zanotti Design boutiques, New York City, 212-650- RONALD J. DOERFLER, SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT AND CHIEF 0455; Bal Harbour, Fla., 305-868-0133; Las FINANCIAL OFFICER. HEARST MAGAZINES DIVISION: CATHLEEN Vegas, Nev., 702-866-0055. Joanna Laura BLACK, PRESIDENT; JOHN P. LOUGHLIN, VICE PRESIDENT; JOHN Constantine—D.P. Accessories, 212-244-0678. A. ROHAN JR., VICE PRES IDENT AND GROUP CONTROLLER; DONNA LAGANI, SVP/PUBLISHING DIRECTOR. SUBSCRIPTION Jenny Bird—jenny-bird.com. PRICES: U.S.A. AND POSSESSIONS: $29.97 FOR ONE YEAR; PAGE 205: Lulu*s—lulus.com. Nancy Gonza- $57.94 FOR TWO YEARS; CANADA ADD $15 PER YEAR AND ALL lez—nancygonzalez.com. Ann Taylor—anntaylor OTHER COUNTRIES: ADD $24 PER YEAR. COSMOPOLIT AN WILL, .com. Kenneth Jay Lane—877-953-5264. UPON RECEIPT OF A COMPLETE SUBSCRIPTION ORDER, UNDERTAKE FULFILLMENT OF THAT ORDER SO AS TO PROVIDE SEXY BY SATURDAY THE FIRST COPY FOR DELIVERY BY THE POSTAL SERVICE OR PAGES 206 TO 209: Tweezerman—tweezer ALTERNATE CARRIER WITHIN FOUR TO SIX WEEKS. man.com. Estée Lauder—esteelauder.com. PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT NEW YORK, NEW YORK, AND AT YSL—yslbeauty.us. Essie—essie.com for store ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. CANADA POST INTERNATIONAL PUBLICATIONS MAIL PRODUCT (CANADIAN DISTRIBUTION) locator. Jay Godfrey—Select Neiman Marcus SALES AGREEMENT NO. 40012499. © 2010 BY HEARST locations. Kenneth Jay Lane—877-953- COMMUNICATIONS INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. COSMOPOLIT AN 5264. IS A REGISTERED TRADE MARK OF HEARST COMMUNICATIONS INC. MAILING LISTS: FROM TIME TO TIME, WE MAKE OUR LITTLE THINGS THAT SPOIL SUBSCRIBER LIST AVAILABLE TO COMPANIES THAT SELL GOODS YOUR LOOK AND SERVICES BY MAIL THAT WE BELIEVE WOULD INTEREST PAGES 210 TO 213: Anastasia—anastasia OUR READERS. IF YOU WOULD RATHER NOT RECEIVE SUCH .net. Estée Lauder—esteelauder.com. MAILINGS, PLEASE SEND YOUR CURRENT MAILING LABEL OR EXACT COPY TO: COSMOPOLIT AN, MAIL PREFERENCE SERVICE, P.O. BOX 7024, RED OAK, IA 51591-0024. FOR CUSTOMER BACHELOR RULES: NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO SERVICE, CHANGES OF ADDRESS, AND SUBSCRIPTION ORDERS, ENTER OR WIN the Cosmo Bachelor Contest, spon- LOG ON TO SERVICE.COSMOPOLITAN.COM OR WRITE TO sored by Hearst Communications Inc. Ways to enter: CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT, COSMOPOLIT AN, P.O. BOX Beginning February 9, 2010, at 12:01 a.m. (ET) 7186, RED OAK, IA 51591-0186. TO ASSURE QUICKER SERVICE, through April 11, 2010, at 11:59 p.m. (ET), (1) go ENCLOSE YOUR MAILING LABEL WHEN WRITING TO US OR to cosmopolitan.com/bachelors and complete and RENEWING YOUR SUBSCRIPTION. RENEWAL ORDERS MUST BE submit an entry pursuant to the onscreen instruc- RECEIVED AT LEAST EIGHT WEEKS PRIOR TO EXPIRATION tions; (2) mail submissions to Cosmo Bachelors, 300 TO ASSURE CONTINUED SERVICE. MANUSCRIPTS, DRAWINGS, West 57th Street, 38th floor, New York, NY 10019- 3299, with entries postmarked by April 11, 2009, AND OTHER MATERIAL SUBMITTED MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY A and received no later than April 16, 2010; or (3) STAMPED SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE. COSMOPOLIT AN visit select Express or Express Men stores to submit CANNOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIAL. PRINTED an in-store entry (go to express.com for store loca- IN U.S.A. CANADA BN NBR. 10231 0943 RT. POSTMASTER: PLEASE tions). By participating in the contest, the entrant SEND ADDRESS CHANGES TO COSMOPOLITAN , P.O. BOX 7186, certifies that his/her entry is original, has not been RED OAK, IA 51591. VOL. 248, NO. 3 Cosmo Quiz BY ROBIN HILMANTEL Do You Know 7 TO 10 POINTS When a Guy’s Blind-to-Love Babe You may display killer confidence in most Into You? areas of your life, but when it comes to guys, your mojo is missing. It’s time to stop assum- ing that you aren’t sweatable and start tuning 1. You’re grabbing a beer with your BFF when she says a in to the signals men are sending. “Try smiling hottie across the room is eyeing you. You say: and see if he smiles back. Also, listen for lots of questions,” says communication coach a “Seriously? Sweet! b “I doubt it” without c “Yeah, him Cynthia Leeds Friedlander, author of Speak I’ll do a drive-by so much as and every other Easy. “Both are signs he likes you and what the next time I hit glancing over to guy here.” you’re saying.” Get quizzed all the time by the bar.” check him out. grinning guys? Yeah, that’s what we thought. 2. A month after meeting your new male coworker, you notice he’s Facebook friends with several of your 4 TO 6 POINTS coworkers...but not you. You: Man-Reading Mama Avoid him at work a Hold strong. He’s b Friend him—it’ll c Guy radars don’t get more precise than yours. no doubt smitten only take a few the next day since Because you pay attention to the people but trying to seem posts to find out he clearly has a around you and value their opinions, you’re nonchalant. how he feels. problem with you. better at guessing what’s going on in their 3. You’re hanging with a friend and her man, and while heads, says Linda Papadopoulos, PhD, author she’s in the bathroom, he gives you a kinda-friendly, of What Men Say, What Women Hear. The kinda-touchy shove. You: fact that you’re grounded helps too. “You have a healthy self-esteem, but you also don’t suf- a Pull your girl aside b Are sure he only c Let it slide. It’s a afterward to tell did it because first-time offense. fer from an inflated ego,” Papadopoulos says. her that her your friend told So your man-reading skills aren’t skewed by boyfriend totally him he has to be insecurity or wishful thinking. crossed the line. nice to you. 4. If you were a TV character, you would be: 0 TO 3 POINTS a Rachel from Glee: b Serena from Gossip c Jacqueline from The Confident but Clueless talented and Girl. Like her, you Real Housewives of You’re one fierce female, but assuming you adorable but slightly pretty much radiate New Jersey, misunderstood. sex appeal. because you’ll talk bring every guy to his knees can backfire. to anyone. “You’re projecting onto men how you view yourself rather than gauging how they really 5. While checking the Missed Connections on Craigslist feel,” Papadopoulos says. That means you’re (it’s a guilty pleasure!), you usually: probably less than perceptive in other stages a Think about how b Keep an eye out for c Wish a guy would of your relationships as well. To get a more crazy it would be listings describing do something that accurate read, use your girls as a gut check. if a couple actually the outfit you wore romantic for you. Explain his exact man moves, and ask—don’t met through one that day...or your tell—if he’s sending off a digging-you vibe. of them. gorgeous smile. Soon you’ll be able to tell without their help. COSMOPOLITAN.COM/QUIZ Log on to test yourself with more fun and insightful quizzes! 2 – c b–0, a–1, 5. c–1; b–0, a–2, 4. c–1; b–2, a–0, 3. c–2; b–1, a–0, 2. c–0; b–2, a–1, 1. SCORING: 236 COSMOPOLITAN / MARCH 2010 COSMOPOLITAN.COM