1 FRIDAY 01 NOV Graduate Students Union Pick a size The GSU page is here Which company size is right for you 31 35

“Keep the Cat Free”

08/11/13 Issue 1559 felixonline.co.uk

New postgraduate ħ opens THIS ISSUE... Friday sees the opening of the new h-bar for postgraduates and staff TECHNOLOGY Matthew Allinson Reporter Joseph Letts Editor-in-Chief

new postgraduate student and staff drinking and social venue on the South Say Hello to the Kensington campus isA set to open this Friday. In keeping Google Nexus 5 27 with the Union’s trend of naming its drinking establishments with incredibly nerdy puns, the new space will be called ħ (pronounced h-bar), named after the reduced NEWS Planck constant, which is the smallest quantum of angular momentum (with a value of 6.582 x 10-16 eV s). There have been some criticisms of the new name, however according to the Union the name was chosen out of a shortlist of names submitted by staff members and postgraduate students. The ħ will be a multi-function space, with a ‘café’ area and a ‘bar’ area. The bar will be run by the Union, whilst food is provided by College’s Boris Johnson under Campus Services division. The bar will be staffed by students with questions 4 previous bar experience, similar to the Old Holland Club and will have several student shift leaders, one of whom will be Stefan Nubert, former Deputy President Finance & Services MUSIC and current Imperial postgraduate JOSEPH LETTS student. The café area is set to serve Student barman pulls a test pint of Aspall Cyder in the ħ, days before the opening. Leon -style street food — think falafel wraps and couscous — which adds an other Union bars, with the addition students and staff”. biggest boost to functionality from the exciting variation to College’s current of a new craft beer from Greene King In comparison to the postgraduate refit is the opening up of the space in food provision, while the bar area called “Noble”. There might also be and staff venue that used to exist in the the sub-basement below Sherfield and will provide pub-style food as well some promotional deal available later space (the Holland bar) the ħ provides ħ. This has created two activity spaces/ as sharing platters and tapas-style on in the year. a significantly large space for drinking meeting rooms for union clubs and dishes. The lunch provided by the The Union stated that they were and eating, utilising more of the societies, which were in desperately venue will be different from the menu keen for the space to host postgraduate Sherfield building’s basement spaces. short supply. Unfortunately this in the Senior Common Room, with student events and welcome student Additionally the availability of food has come at the expense of the staff AMS Album of the the added benefit of being accessible input while the way in which the during lunch hours has the potential snooker room, but given the desperate for taught postgraduate students space is used is developed. They are to reduce the stress on the popular lack of space on campus and the large week: (unlike the SCR). The bar will serve a also keen for postgraduate students to SCR, which currently operates at snooker room on the top floor of the REFLEKTOR 16 selection of beverages available at the consider ħ as a “home for postgraduate full capacity during this period. The Union, this did seem redundant. 2 FRIDAY 08 NOV EDITOR’S PICKS

FILM BOOKS COMIC Oscars Camus Plugtime Film makes predictions about Explore the life of Albert Camus Guess what, we’ve got a new the Oscars Best Supporting comic strip! Say hello to Plug- Actors awards time!

COMMENT Imperial’s New Kenya: What is Next? What’s happening to Kenya in the future? Twitter Tool Fracking vs Science Comminication What is fracking? Nida Mahmud News Editor

group of academics at by themselves. don’t tell you how they do it. They also Erratum Imperial have created a The Director of the Institute of focus on the individual rather than a Hey, so last week we had errors in our erratum. We’re sorry. This week we’re tool that is able to rank Global Health Innovation at Imperial, topic.” bound to have some more. If you find some errors, want to complain or just the most influential Professor Lord Ara Darzi, stated: “‘We “The T-index is a simple, transparent want to have your name on non-printer paper, why not send in a letter to speakers on any topic. first became interested in measuring score that measures how influential AThis is achieved by scoring the users influence in social media during the someone is based on the quality and [email protected]? of Twittter; it is known as the T-index recent reforms in the health service, quantity of their output on a specific and is dependent on many times they when it became clear that Twitter subject. The method is open to post and are retweeted. The T-index had become an important forum everyone, so people can discuss how is defined separately for each topic for discussions about the changes. useful it is as a metric. LOLCAT OF TEH WEEK: More from teh Lolcat editor of interest. A high score is achieved We wanted to find some way of “The results show that bloggers when the user is well known and when determining how influential different and independent voices can have they have been tweeted often. individuals were who were tweeting their messages disseminated to a It is hoped the T-index will help about the reforms and published a wider audience than established advertising companies, political research article detailing our findings. news providers. For tweets about groups and digital agencies to “We then realised this metric could David Cameron, Marcus Chown and ascertain who the most influential be more widely used across Twitter to Chunky Mark have higher T-indexes people are on social media. measure key influencers in any topic than established media providers like The tool was launched by sharing from fashion brands, to public events the Guardian and Daily Mirror. the ’10 most influential tweeters’ on to major geopolitical events. The “We also provide information on five different subjects. The analysis results we’re getting from the topics the most popular tweets overall about has been done on topics such as we’ve analysed so far are fascinating, each topic. These are almost always Manchester United and David and certainly tell us more than existing from celebrities such as Stephen Cameron. metrics of influence currently in use.” Fry, Lady Gaga or members of One The team who created it would Dr Dominic King, a lecturer at Direction. But while one tweet about a like to expand the project so that Imperial commented that “There topic may stimulate a peak of interest, any person can search who the most are lots of companies that measure it’s likely to be short-term. The T-index influential speakers are on any subject influence on Twitter, but they usually measures sustained influence.”

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. THIS BROUGHT Printed by Iliffe Print Cambridge, Winship Road, Cambridge. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2013. WEEK WASTO YOUBY Editor-in-Chief Joe Letts News Editors Nida Mahmud, Philippa Skett, Aemun Reza Features Editors VACANT Business Editor James Tsim Science Editors Philippa Skett, Keir Little, Fiona Hartley Politics Editor Kartikeya Rana Food Editors Carol Ann Cheah, Michael Chung Comment Editors Eoghan J. Totten, Tessa Davey Arts Editor Arianna Sorba Books Editors Maciej Matuszewski, Eva Rosenthal Music Editors Simon Hunter, Riaz Agahi, Stuart Masson, William Stocker Television Editors John Park, Emily Fulham Film Editor John Park Games Editors Maximilian Eggl, Calum Skene, Imran Rashid Technology Editors Maximilian Eggl, Yong Wen Chua, Osama Arawa Travel Editor Chris Richardson Sports Editors Kunal Wagle Emergency Editors Philippa Skett, Ravi Pall, Rory Fenton Online Editors Philip Kent, Annina Sartor, Stephen Ball Puzzles Commanders Kingshuk Dasadhikari, Oliver Price Lord and Lady of the Copy Stephen Ball and Annina Sartor Copy Editors Alexandra Hamilton, Thomas Heaven, Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi, Tom Rivlin, Aislinn Hayes FRIDAY 08 NOV 3

Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud [email protected] NEWS

President of Republic Some postgraduates critical of h-bar of Korea visits Imperial

Layton Thompson / IMPERIAL COLLEGE LONDON Things that make you go hmmmmm? JOSEPH LETTS

6pm. Instead on Fridays the ħ will be They also mentioned that the new Kunal Wagle Matthew Allinson serving [alcohol] from 4pm and the entrance provides wheelchair access Section Editor Reporter whole space, canteen and bar, with a (via the new lift) and the bar is also at combined capacity for 250 people, will a wheelchair-friendly height. It gives me great be serving staff and postgrads only. Despite complaints about the The previous entrance to the old appearance of the bar, and the On Wednesday November 6th, the “pleasure that we Holland Club is now closed off and general bemusement at how the one- President of the Republic of Korea, he new-look postgraduate serves as a fire escape, while the new space, two-uses policy will actually Park Geun-hye, paid a visit of Imperial have gathered bar is set to open this Friday, entrance is only accessible via the work when the whole thing opens College, in order to make a speech with pictures released by Sherfield building. Several staff we next week; most people we spoke outlining her vision for scientific at the world the Union and College spoke to predicted calls for this to be to seemed resigned that they would partnership with “leading scientific previewing what it will re-opened so that access would be probably get used to the new look, nations, such as the UK”. renowned Imperial Tlook like and explaining the services available for staff to go enjoy a pint with one PhD student summarising it She gave her speech at the UK-Korea provided by the new space. without having to come face to face as “sort of like when Facebook updates Creative Economy and Future Science College London With its combination of wood tables with their tutees eating. However, and I hate it for a bit,” whilst agreeing forum, hosted by the college. Provost and green leather upholstery, the new according to Union sources the door “that it makes sense that they need the of Imperial College James Stirling said – famous for look bar was described by Kirsty Roy, cannot be used as an entrance due space, but it sucks because I loved the that the college were “honoured that a PhD student from the department to the conditions of their license. old place.” President Park has chosen Imperial its cutting edge of Materials as “Looking exactly like a for such a significant part of her State McDonalds”. Its previous incarnation, Sponsored Editorial Visit”. During her visit, President Park research in science the Holland Club which closed in was given demonstrations of various 2012, had a ‘traditional British pub’ pieces of ground breaking research, and technology décor (i.e. ‘dark and dingy’) but it including an “invisibility cloak” using was this atmosphere that many of its Student Discounts At metamaterial technology. She also saw regulars enjoyed. projects such as the latest robotic body The name, ħ,prompted half of the sensing technology, plastic electronics people I interviewed to laugh and the and quantum technologies. These are Park Geun-hye” other half to face-palm.It was chosen Fresh Hairdressers President of the Republic of fields where UK research is considered Korea out of a shortlist of student and staff 70m from South Kensington tube to be world leading. submitted names, with the final choice Science and Universities Minister and cooperation among small and being made by a committee including David Willetts MP, who accompanied medium enterprises (including one of the Sabbatical Officers. President Park on her visit to Imperial, additional support for startups). The most drastic change in operation said, “International collaboration In the lead up to the event, Imperial of the bar is the fact that during the across Higher Education is essential if signed an agreement to enhance UK- evening the space will be available Men’s cuts £22 (normally £35) the UK is to remain ahead in the global Korean cooperation in developing to all staff and students (including All over clipper cuts from £10 race for science and innovation.” He hydrogen and fuel cell technologies. undergraduates) for dinner. At this Women’s cut and rough dry £28 also added “Imperial College London A Memorandum of Understanding time (between 5-7pm), the evening Women’s cut and salon finish is crucial to many of the eight great was signed by Professor Stirling and dinner service currently provided blow-dry £38 (normally £55) technologies including big data, Professor Taihyun Chang, Provost by the Queen’s Tower Rooms will Highlights from only £40 robotics, space and synthetic biology. of Pohang University of Science and be served in canteen area of ħ, and Working alongside the Republic of Technology (POSTECH) in Korea. the postgrad and staff pub area at Sorry CASH only! Korea will strengthen our relationship Imperial’s Energy Futures Lab is the the back will be closed off behind a and allow greater collaboration in central hub for research into fuel cell movable soundproof partition. Whilst FRESH hairdressers are offering years to come.” technologies in the United Kingdom. allowing the staff and postgraduates the best haircuts, prices and Appointments available Tuesday to The visit itself began with speeches Imperial is also due to sign a strategic some privacy, they will still have service in South Kensington. Saturdays 9.30 to 6.30 from President Park, David Willetts partnership agreement with the to potentially walk through a busy and Professor Stirling, following Korean Institute of Science and canteen full of undergraduates to Please call 0207 823 8968 to We are only 70 metres from which President Park was shown Technology (KAIST). get to the bar, a fact that several staff book an appointment and ask for South Kensington station at 15a the research being presented. In Imperial College already has a strong and PhDs we spoke to were unhappy a student discount. Please bring Harrington road, South Kensington, addition to this, the event featured connection with Korean universities, about. Fortunately for postgrads and your student ID we look forward to SW7 3ES 0207 823 8968. workshops for academics, investors having already attained extensive staff a-like, this arrangement will seeing you. and entrepreneurs from both nations links with KAIST, POSTECH and not be the case on Friday evenings. We use the best styling products Check out our website: to explore additional UK-Korean Seoul National University. In addition As anyone who used to use the old from Wella, Moroccan Oil, L’Oreal. www.freshhairdressers.co.uk collaboration and development to this Imperial also has strong links Holland Club knows, Friday nights in fields such as future innovative with Korean industry, having formed were by far the busiest evenings, technologies, digital cultural content, partnerships with Samsung and LG. frequently reaching full capacity by 4 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud NEWS [email protected] People’s Question Time

JOSEPH LETTS JOSEPH LETTS Top: Boris answering questions during the meeting. Bottom: One of Boris’ vehement explanations Felix snapping an exclusive picture of the Mayor just before he departs for his journey home.

Accommodation in July, called the Earl’s Court Project, this Boris explained how unfortunately Philippa Skett Fire Station Closure much to the displeasure of the rest of there is no “great big bus Valhalla” for News Editor Students at Imperial also took the the assembly who called the decision buses to “recuperate in” after running One topic in particular evoked a chance to voice their views, with one “appalling.” during peak travelling times, so they very strong response from some of the student asking about implementing Nicky Gavron of the assembly from are left circulating under capacity. audience, and this was concerning the controls over the private the Labour party, implored members It is undecided as to whether or he Great Hall at Imperial closure of the fire stations across the accommodation sector, especially of the public to “Go on with your not this warranted the man shouting played host to the second capital. Plans to shut 10 fire stations concerning landlords that “take campaigning,” as the renovation plans in response that Boris himself is a biannual People’s Question and axe 550 jobs was approved by the advantage” of the students looking to are still not a done deal. With the new “waste of space,” although considering Time, an opportunity for London Fire and Emergency Planning rent properties for the first time. plans to include 6,000 new luxury the other, less imaginative heckles he members of the public Authority (LFEPA) in early September With a quarter of all Londoners apartments, the audience argued that received, was certainly not the only Tto interact directly with the Mayor of this year, causing considerable renting from private landlords, Boris the redevelopments did not include person to feel animosity towards the and the London Assembly. Over 700 distress to those in the boroughs making a decision about this would options for affordable housing. London Mayor during the evening. people attended the event, with many effected. certainly be in the interests of millions One member of the public being members of the public that live Assembly Member James Cleverly, of people across the city, although he The London Living Wage enquired as to whether there will in the Kensington and Chelsea area. chairman of the LFEPA, supported has decided to take a stance not to be an introduction of greater safety The evening started with an this decision although the Fire interfere. With Boris increasing this by 25p measures to the cycle lanes after introduction from Darren Johnson, Brigades Union (FBU) is currently He stated that although it is “vital to £8.55 this week, this was also on accidents have left cyclists injured, Chair of the London Assembly, considering challenging the decision. to continue to build more affordable the agenda. The wage is considered occasionally fatally. However students followed by a lively speech from Cleverly, when explaining the cuts, homes,” capping the rent prices to be the minimum people should be who do cycle criticised the discussion, the Boris himself featuring his said that they were in response to would not be happening in the near paid per hour to cover the basic cost saying not enough was resolved characteristic humour and dubious the significant reduction in fire risk, future. He stated that there is still of living in the capital, although it is or disclosed to the public about statistics about the advances he had and Fire Commissioner Ron Dobson the Voluntary Accredited Landlord more of a recommendation than a improving the lives of cyclists. made since making office in 2008. (who was not present) has already scheme that should be ensuring that requirement with only five councils Boris did state that “so many people According to the man himself, he stated how response times will remain the rights of the tenants are upheld, of the 32 London boroughs currently [jostled] me as I was cycling through has cut delays on the tube by 40% (“Or among the best in the UK. but explained that he “cannot reduce signed up to the scheme. Holborn. Maybe they had a point apparently [as this is] what TFL tell One woman delivered a rather values of housing stock under the laws Boris praised the scheme, explaining to make, ” alluding to the idea that me”) and his 8% crime cut is enough emotive speech to the Mayor over of supply and demand.” More houses that it increases “loyalty [among people may be taking out their anger to claim London is now the safest the decision, deploring the idea that are needed to reduce rent prices as workers]” and delivers an acceptable at the Mayor using the very bikes that cities in Europe, if not the world. He he was using his humour and charm opposed to setting caps on rent prices standard of living for the people are colloquially named after him. also credited London for the immense to mask the decisions he was making of existing properties. of London. No-one enquired as to The overall atmosphere of the export trading that we provide, that could potentially jeopardise whether Boris was aware of Imperial discussion was rather tense, with heartily including Piers Morgan’s the lives of her, her family and the Earl’s Court renovation plans: College directly employing 699 people audience members being very vocal exportation to America. rest of his community. However The Earl’s Court Project who are paid below the LLW, although about the issues that they were That’s not to say all members of there seems there is no turning back this was probably because the crowd concerned about. However, the the crowd warmed to his humour. on the motion, with the measures was still expending valuable energy in evening ran smoothly, and it was Throughout the evening as topics coming into effect next January and The renovation plans in the Earl’s calling him a ‘wanker’. encouraging to see members of the such as transport, planning stations closing including those that Court area was also discussed, with public getting involved with the and development, housing and service Knightsbridge, Westminster, members of the public voicing their Travelling around London decisions that would affect their lives, regeneration were discussed, hecklers Woolwich in Greenwich and Belsize disbelief over the benefits to the even if it did seem that the outcome of constantly shouted above what Boris in Camden. demolition of the exhibition centre Buses were also on the agenda, with some of the more audacious proposals was trying to explain, and other and 760 homes in the neighbouring one man enquiring as to why buses are looking rather bleak for some. members of the crowd often were West Kensington and Gibbs Green were constantly running down his left shushing the more rowdier of the council estates. Boris approved plans road of residence empty, including a The next People’s Question Time members of the public. for the 77-acre redevelopment scheme student favourite, the number 52. On will be held after the New Year. FRIDAY 08 NOV 5

@feliximperial FelixImperial FEATURES

Business, Policy, and Economics for the Future: A Sustainable

Part 3 of a 3 part feature brought to you by the London Climate Forum 2013

by the International Monetary Fund sustainability has been introduced very likely be a lot more concerned for cultivating biofuel crops, and so Shiladitya Ghosh (IMF), people in the UK get a new into various communities around the about it and the mitigation issue on. It may well be that they would LCF Organising Committee phone every 22 months, only beaten world. might already have been addressed have to completely shift their focus to ‘top’ spot by the US of A… similar Note, however, the word ‘introduced’. by now. This implies that: because and redevelop their brands. trends exist for TV sets, cars, and For any semblance of sustainability, one does not consciously get directly There are yet many more issues to be other accessories. Such a trend has ideas have to be implemented on affected by increased CO2 levels in discussed in such a fashion. How would fortnight ago you read been in part perpetrated by mobile a large-enough scale to make a our daily lives, one feels less inclined future conurbations, megalopolises, about the IPCC report’s contract operators who tend to offer difference, which is where economics to take any steps against it. As a result, and even ‘smart’ cities be planned and finger-pointing, 7 days handset upgrades at the end of a and policy can play their part in businesses which already attempt to designed? Will a ranking on the Dow later you glanced over contract’s tenure. There is little sign of making things happen. To simplify the be sustainable and promote it to their Jones Sustainability Index become the the future of energy this being on the turn; however recent economics to an almost-sacrilegious customers, somehow find their efforts single most important statistic for a sourcing…nowA we will have you viral concepts such as Phonebloks level, if policy makers were to rule that not being reciprocated in terms of business to predict its future? Should contemplate sustainable strategies (from Kickstarter) have shown that all future construction in a town/city interest from the market. Thus, the policymakers be obliged to be climate- for business, policy, and the general there is substantial consumer demand would have to conform to particular challenge is to motivate people to aware and incorporate sustainability economics of the future! for electronic products that are more standards and designs incorporating worry about climate change and into policies? Well, we are no experts What exactly does sustainability sustainable, with companies such as sustainability, the demand for the sustainability by showing them how it but we are certainly keen to hear some mean? Simply put, a business is Motorola showing great interest and appropriate products and raw will affect their lives. of them discuss exactly these issues sustainable if it minimizes its adverse supposedly developing a very similar materials would increase, making On the other hand, there are this Saturday in College. impacts on the environment and concept phone of their own. business profitable for suppliers, while businesses and sectors of the economy Want to hear more conclusive incorporates environmentally- Stemming from that thought, demand for sustainable construction that are decidedly unsustainable, such and insightful discussions about friendly operating principles while another answer may well be to would also rise, at the very least as petrochemical companies and sustainable business, policy and managing to return a net profit, so implement infrastructure that maintaining profit margins for their associated industries. How can economics of the future? Come as to keep things going. So, what encourage consumers to embrace constructors. they make a difference? On paper, along to the London Climate Forum will allow a business to continuously environmentally-sustainable This change can also be brought one possible strategy is to focus on at Imperial College London on 9th return a net profit in such a manner? concepts. For instance, constructing about by greater consumer awareness. biofuels development, but that would November for a panel discussion One answer is by making products buildings using more steel than At the recent 20th Anniversary event require a substantial write-off in terms on this subject and a host of other that last long. In the current times, concrete, incorporating solar cells by Global Action Plan, a UK-based of capital and an unhealthy level of exciting talks and exhibitions. consumerism has taken on a fickle and mini wind-turbines into their charity focusing on encouraging fresh expenditure to merely adapt mask causing people to regularly designs, developing materials that environmentally-conscious behavior, their business to biofuels, after which Visit www.londonclimateforum.org replace their gadgetry and personal absorb and trap CO2 to lay pavements Chris Rapley noted that if CO2 were there would be the costs and problems for more details as well as to grab hardware – according to a 2011 survey with – these are all examples of how orange and noxious, people would associated with securing land suitable tickets! SHAG Week Next Week

Sexual Health Advice and Guidance (SHAG) week is more than just an excuse for a convenient acronym, it’s an entire programme of activities running next week that focusses on all topics related to sex, sexual health and sexuality.

There will be a SHAG stall in Sherfield foyer every lunchtime providing condoms, information and, most importantly, the opportunity to try out various SHAG-themed games such as ‘Guess the Number of Condoms in the Jar’ and ‘Unlucky Dip’ for the chance of winning a fabulous prize.

SHAG week also features a range of free events that are open to everyone, including:

Monday Wednesday Thursday Friday ‘It Gets Better’ at Pee-in-a-Pot Free Sexual ‘Philadelphia’ Imperial Testing Health Clinic Film Screening

18.00-20.00 Huxley LT 145, Reception in 19.00-20.00 Space between FiveSixEight 11.00 – 16.00 Activity Spaces, Union 18:30 Concert Hall, Union Building Metric from 20.00 and the Union Bar Building

A panel of Imperial staff and students will The Terrence-Higgins-Trust will be Services available include rapid HIV, Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington be discussing their experiences with coming visiting the Union to provide quick and chlamydia and gonorrhoea tests, condoms, star in the Academy Award Winning out. This will then be followed by a reception easy ‘pee in a pot’ style screenings at CSP lube and advice. The clinic welcomes all ‘Philadelphia’, a film which tackles AIDS, in Metric to give people a chance to meet, night. students regardless of age, gender, sexual homosexuality and homophobia in 1980s mingle and continue the discussion. orientation, study type or country of America. origin. 6 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editors: Philippa Skett, Keir Little, Fiona Hartley SCIENCE [email protected] Skett’s science corner Diagnosing Down’s Syndrome

Philippa Skett Science Editor Utsav Radia on the new antenatal blood test and its potential to detect the genetic disorder before birth

It has been a busy week here on campus, with both Boris Johnson and the president of South Korea paying new antenatal blood Current antenatal screening that in the 1005 pregnancies trialed a visit. Such activity has highlighted the fact that both test, developed by involves a combined test done in the at 10 weeks, there was a much lower science and politics are actually very much intertwined; Professor Kypros first trimester between the 11th and false positive rate of 0.1% and a 99% something that can be easy to overlook. Nicolaides and his team 13th weeks of pregnancy and includes rate of Down’s Syndrome detection. Our own Professor Nutt this week was rewarded the of researchers at King’s ultrasound screening (used to measure Currently, this test is only being 2013 John Maddox Prize for Standing up for Science, CollegeA London in collaboration with thickness of tissue at the back of the offered privately and to any pregnant for his impact in influencing drug classification, and his University College London Hospital, foetus neck) and a hormonal test of the women who volunteer to participate dedication to promoting science despite facing difficultly. with the potential to diagnose Down’s mother’s blood (to detect high levels in the ongoing trials. Professor His paper earlier in the year, published in Nature, Syndrome in developing foetuses, is of Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin Nicolaides added that this new implored the government to reconsider their rather being considered for trial in the NHS. and Estriol). The results of these tests technique “if offered across the UK, arbitrary drugs classifications to allow for a more Down’s Syndrome, also called along with the mother’s age are used would have the potential to increase comprehensive scope into the research concerning illegal Trisomy 21, is a genetic condition to predict the risk to the foetus – this the diagnosis rate from 1,000 cases drugs and their biochemical effects. affecting around 750 (1 per 1000) method picks up about 90% of cases. to almost all of the 1,200 which occur With drugs ranging from cannabis to MDMA having newborns in the UK each year and For high-risk pregnancies, further every year”. potential medicinal benefits for treating a whole host of is one of the most common genetic methods of testing include: Chorionic Professor Lyn Chitty of Great ailments, research has been stifled by the government causes of learning disabilities. Trisomy Villus Sampling, which involves Ormond Street Hospital confirms that legislation surrounding lab acquisition of the drugs for 21 is caused by the presence of all or taking cell samples from the placenta; this could “very significantly reduce experimentation. part of an extra copy of chromosome and, Amniocentesis, where a sample the number of invasive tests” as only His relentless rebuttal against current legislation led to 21 in a person’s DNA. of amniotic fluid is taken. These are 0.5% of cases that had the blood test his dismissal from the government, highlighting just how Down’s patients suffer from many subsequently analysed for presence required any form of invasive testing. science and politics can struggle together at times. physiological disabilities such as of the extra chromosome 21 copy. Early detection of the condition in On a brighter note, the UK and Korea signed an hypotonia (reduced muscle tone), However, both methods are invasive foetuses can help parents to plan ahead agreement to advance fuel cell technology, with Imperial’s sandal toe, congenital heart defects, and carry a 1% chance of miscarriage and also gives them time to learn more own Professor James Stirling and Professor Taihyun brachydactyly (short fingers), a flat and a false positive chance of 3-4%. about the condition and how they can Chang, Provost and Executive Vice President of Pohang facial profile and skeletal deformities. The new antenatal blood test help their child. However, at £400 a University of Science and Technology in Korea, penning Down’s patients struggle with activities uses ‘foetal cell free’ (cf) DNA that test, it seems highly unlikely that will their names to agree to further engage in hydrogen and like walking, sitting, standing, reading is present in the mother’s blood be readily available through the NHS fuel cell technology. etc. There is no current cure for to scan for the presence of the any time soon. Science and politics can be so intrinsically involved that Down’s Syndrome but support is given extra chromosome 21. The study, neither should be seen as entirely exclusive or independent to help patients lead a healthier, active published in the journal ‘Ultrasound of each other. The clash or collaboration between the two and independent lifestyle. in Obstetrics and Gynaecology’, shows DOI: 10.1002/uog.12504 seem even more exuberated this week, but it is great to see Imperial providing a platform for both of these. It is important to remind ourselves that there is a bigger world outside the microcosm of science and technology that we currently seem to reside in on campus. The science we are learning, the way in which we learn it, down to the jobs available for when we graduate are Antibody treatment for cancer all sculpted according to the political landscape that SNITCHNGR.COM paves Exhibition road and beyond. It is important to recognise that science doesn’t exist as a pure endeavour of the pursuit of knowledge but hangs within the larger Pavitar Singh Devgon framework of politics and policy. Science Writer

There is plenty of on-going research in the field of battling cancer, whether Love Science? chemically, physically or biologically. A research group from southern Cancer cells like these may be targetted by the treatment California is developing a new Or want to be Brian Cox? You need to strategy on improving the transport are still limited due to skin toxicity. Comparing the two in mice tissues, start somewhere... of medicine within the patients’ body, However, due to healthy tissue cells PB1 and Cetuximab both showed by creating antibodies which only expressing similar properties to the close to 80% reduction in cancer cells. Why not write for us? Get in touch! activate in the presence of cancer cells. diseased cells, the antibodies are not However, when tested in primate cells, The idea of using monoclonal always able to make the distinction Cetuximab caused the predicted skin [email protected] antibodies (antibodies cloned from and may target healthy tissue too. toxicity, although no such observation a unique parent) is not a new one, A solution was proposed by a team was made in the PB1-treated bodies. Follow us on twitter, and has existed for almost a century. of researchers led by Desnoyers Further tests were conducted at However, due to side effects and the Luc, to mediate the toxicity of the higher doses, and for longer periods, where we’ll post up way certain antibodies attack the antibodies based on the surrounding after which mild dermal toxicity was any interesting stuff cancer cells, there has only recently cells. While the antibodies would found, but at a less severe level than we stumble upon been approval for their use. For still have the power to knock out the Cetuximab. example, the Cetuximab antibody cancerous infections, they would only Analysis and research are continuing (science-related, releases antigens which can become release the antigens in the presence of in this area, but with more hopeful obviously). toxic to skin cells in high doses, the intended cells. results being shown, this could limiting the effectiveness of this The research group developed the develop into quite a plausible method treatment. EGFR antibody PB1 based on the of treatment. @SciFelix Attempts to use antibody-drug previously trialled Cetuximab and conjugates have shown potential, but their tests have shown hopeful results. DOI: 10.1126/scitranslmed.3006682 FRIDAY 08 NOV 7

@feliximperial

FelixImperial SCIENCE Traditional ecological knowledge: the old versus the new Nika Levikov on just how old customs can bring us up to speed for the future

HTTP://WWW.ETHNOBIOMED.COM/ raditional ecological knowledge (TEK) is not a new concept, especially for indigenous peoples themselves or those who Tpractice old customs. However, we still find ourselves merely engaging in dialogue about how TEK should be applied to policy-making and research. The world of conservation is only now recognising that incorporating other disciplines is necessary if any changes we try to make as scientists are going to stick. Local knowledge of those that live in close confines with nature could help solve issues facing ecology today I first learned about TEK when I attended an annual meeting held by the Society for Conservation countless ways to further fragment Indigenous people have applied Along with landowners and scientists, have the luxury of time. TEK could Biology in 2010. The topic was how itself. TEK successfully in this regard. the Aboriginal community is taking speed up the scientific process by to build a bridge of communication We are faced with a history that In the African Sahel, for instance, part, spreading their knowledge on providing scientists with information between indigenous peoples and is dark, one that many people are farmers use a zero-tilling method that fire management. that gets them to ask the appropriate scientists. I was surprised to see the unwilling to forget and perhaps not allows their crops to prosper under The extent to which their knowledge questions and gather data more anger and bitterness from indigenous even forgive. It is clear that whilst we sit harsh climate. The Inuit hunters is being applied is unclear, but quickly. communities, that such a dialogue was in our self-righteous chairs exclaiming in Alaska have been able to keep recognising that these people have So let’s cut the dialogue about what only being put to the table at that time. that barriers must come down, they hunting bowhead whales despite their adaptation methods that have worked we should be doing as scientists Why hadn’t it happened sooner? haven’t completely. Targeting climate changing migrations. It took years for for many years is a move in the right and conservationists. A systemic “There is something Westernchange mitigation could be a way of scientists to realize that their estimate direction. strategy should be put in place to scientists don’t understand,” they said, building a bridge. of the bowhead whale population was Climate change is a global problem, go beyond initial communication “a spiritual connection that makes Many solutions that have been wrong and that the Inuit had a much but there is no global solution. As with between indigenous communities and our relationship to the land unique”. posed in the recent past involve more accurate number. The Inuit also other aspects of conservation, the everyone else. I would argue that there are plenty alternative energy sources and brought up the importance of wind possible solutions need to be applied TEK isn’t science, but without it, we of scientists with a spiritual side, but being ‘green’, but the people most strength and direction as a factor in on a local level. Using TEK helps risk greater biodiversity loss, cultural were these communities right? Do affected by climate change tend to analysing migration patterns. localise the problems and mitigation loss, and a slowed implementation of they know the land in an intimate way be indigenous communities in poor Another success story is with The efforts. climate change solutions. Using TEK that scientists can never accomplish? developing countries. Adaptation by Hotspots Fire Project in Australia, There is a risk that TEK might be should be the norm. I’m convinced that the indigenous some scientists is being presented as which is getting communities together ‘wrong’ and evidence behind certain After all, with climate change peoples living in reservations in a solution, given that extreme weather to talk about fire and how to manage strategies are usually anecdotal and/ already negatively impacting people Arizona aren’t the only ones who feel conditions such as droughts and it because of increasing risk of fire or biased, but the rate at which the across the world, what more do we this way. Modern day society finds floods have already made an impact. outbreaks due to climate change. climate is changing means we don’t have to lose? Science image of the week: a digital hologram of malaria his rather unassuming just how they infect the cells in the collection of blobs is bloodstream. Understanding how actually a male Plasmodium these microgametes then mate sp. parasite (on the left, with together in their sexual lifecycle could the ‘tail’ known as a flagella) lead to improving preventive methods Tswimming among red blood cells, of the disease from spreading. looking to penetrate into them to The researchers saw that the replicate within their fragile structure. microgametes move in an irregular, This parasite causes malaria, and is lopsided corkscrew motion, allowing spread via the mosquito Anopheles them to move in a multitude of gambiae when they take up blood directions to find female mates whilst during feeding, unknowingly swimming among blood cells. spreading the parasite from person to This was developed by the person. University of Edinburgh and the Upon the parasite replicating to Rowland Institute at Harvard breaking point, the cells will burst University. open to relinquish a whole new Dr Sarah Reece, Royal Society population of the parasite that will Fellow at the University of Edinburgh then go on to continue the lifecycle and one of the authors of the study, of this potent protozoan, or simply said: “Findings gained using our invade more red blood cells. unique system provide us with a It is not what this image is capturing better understanding of how malaria however, but in what way this image parasites mate and spread this has been produced that is notable. deadly disease, and have revealed Scientists have developed a 3D that malaria sperm, and similar filming technique that creates digital organisms, have greater freedom holograms of the sperm-like cells, of movement than was previously known as microgametes, to show thought.” 8 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editor: Kartikeya Rana POLITICS [email protected] Piracy and the need to tackle it Jash Rughani looks at piracy and the ways to deal with it.

demands a chunk of the proceeds of Kenya has long been the chief Jash Rughani a hijack from ordinary pirates. The provider of qat to east African nations. Politics Editor daily supplies and mobile network Many more are now turning to qat, are sold off to them at inflated rates. which is not only easier to grow, but Financing comes from former police can be harvested twice a year and iracy grips the public and military officers or civil servants, brings in an inwcome that is five times imagination. Witness qat dealers, fishermen and former higher than coffee. The trade has the success of “Captain pirates. They take anywhere between greatly contributed to development in Phillips”, a film in which 30% and 75% of the ransom. A typical the district of Meru, and local farmers a vessel captained by operation has three to five investors. are calling for the status of qat to be Pthe actor Tom Hanks is hijacked by Some financiers, especially those in formalized. Qat-chewing is big (and Somalis. Somali pirate operations the Somali diaspora who have little generally legal) business in much of have been a major threat to ships in cash inside Somalia but large deposits the region, and the role of Somalis in the Gulf of Aden and those bypassing abroad, employ what the report distributing it is growing. The lack of the Indian Ocean. Yet the pirate describes as “trade-based money- transparency or monitoring of the qat modus operandi is far from clear laundering” to send funds to Somalia. trade in Kenya, the main supplier to to intelligence agencies. In order In order to contain pirate activity Somalia, makes it susceptible to crime. to contain their activities many in the area, a number of measures In such an atmosphere, conventional organizations have come together to need to the taken. It turns out measures are rendered inefficacious. understand their funding operations. the guardian that government policies are not True that one man’s trash is another Reports have it that between $339m originated from Ethiopia. And, just as the crop. In fact, qat cultivation is particularly favorable for setting up man’s treasure. and $413m was paid in ransoms off coffee was criticized and even banned currently expanding into new areas, private enterprise that would lead to the Somali coast between 2005 and in parts of Africa during the 16th such as Embu and Nyeri, outside the job creations. The involvement of ex- 2012. Ordinary pirates usually get century, so the mildly narcotic khat traditional growing area of Meru, near government officials further worsens Let’s have more than $30,000-75,000 each, with a bonus has recently found itself at the center Mount Kenya. the situation. two people sharing of up to $10,000 for the first man to of a moral debate. Islamic rulers in Depending on personal As long as government support to board a ship and for those bringing Mogadishu, the capital of Somalia, consumption of qat, pirates receive pirate financers is not severed, ship their views on their own weapon or ladder. recently banned use of the drug. This the pending sum upon successful hijacks would continue to flourish. Politics. Qat, a narcotic plant that is chewed led Kenya, Somalia’s biggest supplier, completion of their mission. Some Money laundering has enabled the by many, is often provided to pirates to stop all flights to its neighbor, pirates find it difficult to retire swift execution of a number of these on credit during an operation. sparking street protests in Mogadishu, because they end up in debt at the ghastly acts. Somalis residing in UAE, Send your articles Traditionally used in the same way and triggering concern among qat end of a hijack. Part of the ransom Kenya and Djibouti are believed to to: as coffee - to assist social gatherings, growers and traders in Kenya, who saw money flows to local communities be the main beneficiaries of the loot. meetings and ceremonies such as exports drop by 40 per cent. In Kenya, that provide services to pirates. Al If current sources are identified and [email protected] weddings - the stimulant qat, like qat has semi-legal status, but this has Shabaab, a terrorist group that wields held punishable, it could serve as a coffee, is widely believed to have not stopped farmers from cultivating enormous power in the area also deterrent to nouveau financers. The situation in Iraq after the war with US Kartikeya Rana looks at the situation in Iraq after the war

groups to assert themselves in various civilians, which has further angered and F16 fighter jets are of little use Kartikeya Rana areas. the Sunni minority. Not only is there against insurgents. Furthermore, Al- Politics Editor There is currently a security failure anger against the heavy handedness Maliki’s government has not been in Iraq. Since there is no interior of the government forces but also able to be inclusive of all the minority or defense minister in Iraq, both of due to the failure of the government groups. Many US Senators feel that ver since the US troops were these tasks are managed by Al-Maliki. to do something for its citizens. The Al-Maliki should not be supported withdrawn from Iraq in In cities across Iraq where there is a government is dysfunctional and until he shares power with the 2011, there has been little predominant presence of the Sunni unable to pass important legislation. Kurdish and Sunni minority groups. international coverage about minority, Maliki’s troops lead by the There is also rampant corruption and If the government does not include the situation in Iraq. Iraq is Shiite majority has had to withdraw. a lack of electricity, which further minority groups, it will continue Ein a state of dysfunctional governance Whilst in other places the troops have adds to the people’s grievances. to lack support and resultantly the and civil strife. This has caused the had to face desertion, which may be Nuri Al-Maliki has now asked the insurgent forces will remain strong. present Prime Minister, Nuri Al- caused by the forces’ local alliance. jafrianews.com US for military assistance to fight Al-Maliki’s support of Basher Al- Maliki, to ask for military assistance Furthermore, the security forces have A frustrated Nuri-Al Maliki the insurgents. The demands include Assad is also unlikely to gain him any from the US. had to withdraw from key towns in a request for an apache helicopter support from US senators. ON March 7, 2010, the people Anbar and from a mainly Sunni area of the most active insurgent group and drones amongst other military After years of rule by Saddam came out in large numbers to vote in the neighborhood province of in the country. Apart from opposing equipment. Tehran tends to emphasis Hussein, Iraq is finding increasingly in the national legislative election. Salheddin. the Shiite led security groups, these that Al Qaeda is a common threat to hard to transition to democracy. The credibility of the elections About 500 Iraqis have been killed insurgent groups also attack Sunni everyone. In return for US support, After the Iraq war, the country lacked became questionable by the since April of this year by Sunni militias which were previously Al- Maliki offers to negotiate with resources to rebuild itself as a nation disqualification of 500 candidates by insurgents who have been bombing opposed to Al-Qaeda and were Iran over cutting down on their and as a result the divisions between the Supreme National Commission and attacking the Shiite majority. A known as the Sahwa, or awakening, nuclear program. Although Tehran the various groups have grown of Accountability and Justice due to large number of these insurgents have supported by the US troops during and Baghdad have got increasingly stronger. their alleged links to the Ba’ath Party, been infiltrating from neighboring their operation in 2007. close, holding talks with the Iranian Nuri Al-Maliki needs to hold more the party to which Saddam Hussein Syria, which is itself facing a severe The government forces tend to take government is unlikely to reap any talks with the various minority groups belonged. In November 2010, a civil war of its own. A number of refuge in barracks as they are unwilling fruitful rewards. and show that he is more inclusive coalition formed between all the major these forces are also home grown with to conduct patrols on the streets. This Obama is also unlikely to be able to before he asks for aid from foreign political factions, which resulted in a their allegiance with Al Qaeda. ISIS unwillingness has resulted in the forces meet all of Al Maliki’s demands for a nations. It will be interesting to see political vacuum. This allowed armed (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) is one conducting raids and mass arrests of variety of reasons. Firstly, helicopters how the situation plays out. Union Page

h-bar opening on Friday 8 November at 17:00

h-bar is the exciting new Postgraduate and staff pub and café bought to you by Imperial College Union and Campus Services.

it will be open on weekdays from 10:00 to 23:00 and offers international grab and go lunch options in the café and traditional fare from hearty pies to favourite tipples in the pub.

Featuring a superb selection of real ales and lagers and guest ales chosen by you, great traditional pub food at lunch times and in the evenings, grab-and-go street-style lunch options from the cafe and regular events such as the GSU Pub Quiz, we couldn’t be more excited about the new h-bar!

Keep an eye out for introductory offers on food and drink to welcome you to our new pub. h imperialcollegeunion.org/h-bar SHAG Week Sexual Health Advice and Guidance (SHAG) week is a programme of events geared towards providing information and starting dialogue on all topics related to sex and sexuality.

There will be a range of activities throughout the week, including a series of talks from Imperial staff and students about their experiences coming out, a SHAG- themed Quiz, a free sexual health clinic and film screenings. The events are free to attend and open to everyone.

In addition, there will be a SHAG stand in the Sherfield Foyer every lunch time over the week. Here you’ll be able to pick up a pack of condoms, ask questions and maybe even win a prize! imperialcollegeunion.org/shagweek

Job opportunities at the Union Sexual Health Clinic

We have the following part-time vacancies and voluntary positions available - As part of SHAG week, Imperial College Union will be hosting a free sexual health just visit our website to apply. clinic run by the Terrence Higgins Trust.

Student Trustees of the Union (voluntary position) - applications close The clinic will take place in the Activities Spaces, Union Building, Beit Quad. Friday 15 November, 12:00 Services available include rapid HIV, chlamydia and gonorrhoea tests, condoms, Help us improve and better serve the students of Imperial College London. lube and advice. The clinic welcomes all students regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, study type or country of origin. Minibus Team We are looking for people to join our team of student staff to help look after Appointments are bookable from 11:00 - 16:00, and a limited number are bookable our fleet of minibuses. in advance. To book an appointment or get more information about the clinic, please contact Zoe Richardson, Representation Coordinator, at z.richardson@ Porterage Team imperial.ac.uk. We are looking for a team of student staff to help us keep the Union Building and its spaces ready for the day ahead. imperialcollegeunion.org/jobs imperialcollegeunion.org/sexual-health

imperialcollegeunion.org 10 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editors: Eoghan J. Totten, Tessa Davey COMMENT [email protected] Fracking Versus Science Communication

has been carried out on a number drew inferences from the USA. rock. By its very nature it demands energy market, it detracts from the Eoghan J. Totten of occasions prior to the 2011 States like North Dakota typify diligence, focus and time. A mediated, integrity of science and health policy. @eoghantotten Blackpool ‘Earthquake’. Nodding exponential growth in the fracking reduced rate of production from shale The UK could learn from this. The Comment Editor donkeys (remnant equipment from industry. It has provided the country fracking could minimise unnecessary composition of fracking fluids would fracking processes) pepper the fields with an unprecedented sense of ‘energy damage to surrounding bedrock and need to be disclosed, in line with surrounding the Gainsborough security’ through a liberal supply of reduce the (still vague) environmental that of Government expenses and and Beckenham communities. domestic gas. It has boosted exports hazards. It could unify the disparity the already established ethos of free he word ‘fracking’ has Fracking has been carried out as far of American coal. The other side of between pragmatism and economics information. become aligned with back as 1969. It must be noted that the phenomenon is the myriad of by encouraging a more relaxed and To conclude, science communication unconditional taboo in controversial ‘shale’ fracking did not construction, deforestation, increased (crucially) localised energy market. may prove to be the crucial and the United Kingdom in a take place in this instance. In spite emissions and noise pollution. The Secondly, this could engender an ethos restorative link in the chain of the two year interval. Strong of this, the case study highlights the crux of American opposition centres of openness surrounding the practice. future UK energy market. It can Tpublic scepticism has been fuelled by dangers associated with the selective on civilian health within areas of In the United States many companies serve to show that fracking, while the parade of paraphernalia arriving implementation of statistics employed industrial development. Many also champion injunctions, concealing the a chief focus, must be considered from the USA. Images ranging from by certain media outlets. This question the consequences for the composition of their fracking fluids. within a cohesive approach to science, flaming taps right through to ominous creates an exploitative smokescreen, water table, the integrity of agriculture While this is favourable for business in economics and ethics. This may prove ‘frack pads’ litter the internet. In the especially on internet search engines, and biodiversity. context of an aggressively competitive to be easier said than done. summer of 2013 protestors took thus masking the truth by crowding It is clear that the priorities of to the streets at the G8 Summit in it in skewed hysteria. Public opinion the American fracking industry Fermanagh. Balcombe became the is confined to a fabricated status quo cluster around the economics (Many focal point in the notorious Cuadrilla and the problem becomes a self- middle men and landowners have row, exhibiting some of the most exciting perpetuity. accumulated small fortunes) . The vitriolic resistance. The UK debate can be realigned industry has developed without While there may be fundamental through the clarified efforts of sufficient regulation. One might infer ethical and environmental questions science communication. A 2013 BBC that the physical process of hydraulic to be addressed in context of the documentary entitled ‘Fracking: The fracturing is misconstrued as the evil wider fracking debate the sporadic New Energy Rush’ and presented entity. In actuality it is the supporting sensationalism of many individuals by Professor Iain Stewart of the framework of policy, business and and parties ought to be condemned. University of Plymouth demonstrated commercialism that generates the Credence must also be conceded to that the fracking debate, despite the imperfection. empirical analyses and research into schism in public opinion, contains The UK could learn from these the practice. many other dimensions that could mistakes. First and foremost, It must be highlighted that the shift the balance of debate to the the process of fracking requires process of hydraulic fracturing underlying science. The documentary exceptionally high pressures to fracture motherearthnews.com What does the Future Hold for Tibet? known as the Tibet Autonomous are endangering Tibet’s fragile is slowly being eradicated? It has been Region (though it holds no real environment. According to NGO students who have pushed for Tibet’s Kamilė Padma Rudaviciute autonomy from Beijing) TAR has ‘Friends of Tibet’ the ingidenous cause in the West, more so than Writer a population of around 6 million population has dramatically declined. politicians who have turned a blind Tibetans and over 7 million Chinese Monasteries have been destroyed, eye to human rights violations. On It is a nation who, following occupation in 1952, especially in Lhasa, obstructed by new the 22nd October, at the quadrennial “ have been forcefully relocated to buildings, plastic palm trees (I kid you UN Human right’s review in Geneva, that, due to its t least 120 Tibetans Tibet, making Tibetans the minority not) and plans of an airport. Monks “Students for a Free Tibet” managed have set themselves population in their own land. Prior have been imprisoned (the majority to break through security and scaled pacifist policies, alight in protest against to its occupation it was a historically of Tibetan prisoners are monks) and scaffolding at the UN headquarters in Chinese rule since and politically independent country tortured. The Tibetan flag has been Geneva with a banner saying: “China had no power 2009. It’s the only with its own language, alphabet banned, possession of a photograph fails human rights - UN stand up for peacefulA way they’ve been able to (both of which hold no similarities to of the Dalai Lama lands you in prison Tibet”. On Tuesday 5th November to withstand broadcast their recurrent message: Chinese Mandarin), distinct culture and celebrating his birthday on a student activists protested at the Save Tibet. It seems that their message and religion (Tibetan Buddhism). sacred mountain is not advised (as Intercontinental Hotel in Westminster occupation. has fallen on deaf ears. When you ask H.H. Dalai Lama is the spiritual and demonstrated by 9th July 2013). against Intercontinental’s plans to most people what they know about political head of Tibet,giving you an How has the rest of the world sat build a 5000 room hotel in Lhasa. Tibet common answers would be “it’s idea of the values that the Tibetan back whilst the most peaceful nation The plans indirectly give licence to part of China isn’t it?”, or “it’s where nation holds. Chinese plans of turning Tibet” into the Dalai Lama lives…” Whilst the It is a nation that, due to its a commercialized concrete jungle. second answer is significantly wrong pacifist policies, had no power to Multiple NGOs, united action and and the Dalai Lama has been in exile withstand an occupation. It has a continuous protests land the Tibetan’s since 1952 the first answer, though unique culture preserved within cause in the headlines frequently. technically correct, completely the heights of the Himalaya and While unforeseeable in the near undermines and puts into perspective remained untouched until Chinese future, for Tibet to become truly Tibet’s efforts to fight peacefully for occupation. Ever since its days of autonomous, let alone independent, it independence for over 50 years. peaceful Buddhist practice Tibet’s does not seem a lost cause. So what is Tibet? Tibet is situated situation has gravely changed. Human Once aware of Tibet’s situation, in the western part of China, on the rights have failed, Tibet’s culture I feel compelled to take action . If Tibetan plateau, encompassing ¼ of and religious practices have been you’re interested in supporting Tibet, Chinese landmass which, including heavily oppressed. Environmental visit www.studentsforafreetibet.org traditional Tibetan provinces, have destruction as a consequence of and like the Students for a free Tibet been gradually assimilated into the burgeoning infastructure in Tibet Imperial College facebook page for Sichuan and Qinghai regions. Now (adhering to China’s energy needs) regular updates. FRIDAY 08 NOV 11

@feliximperial

FelixImperial COMMENT Kenya: What is Next?

slate Kenya as much as possible but between 1952 to 1956, known as the we have very, very little tolerance for Mau Mau Uprising, an armed local Priyank Shah foreigners doing it. This is borne out Kikuyu movement directed against Writer of a sense of pride. The jubilation at the colonial government and the Barack Obama becoming president European settlers. It was the largest of the USA was huge in Kenya. It (and most ferocious) movement in prompted my dad to send me a text British Africa. The Mau Mau fighters was born in Kenya. I lived there saying, “Wananchi na kuja!” meaning, are declared as freedom heroes until I was 10 years old. I learned “The local citizen has come.” but the Mau Mau movement was to swear at someone in Kiswahili I followed the recent March described as, “a disease which had and Kikuyu. One of my fondest elections as much as possible. Many been eradicated and must never be Kenyan memories is my first ever media and news agencies claimed remembered again,” by soon-to-be Ilive cricket match at the Gymkhana they were the most important first Prime Minister Jomo Kenyatta. Stadium in Nairobi. It was the 2003 election in Kenyan history. This In June British Foreign Secretary World Cup and Sri Lanka were in cannot be stressed enough. Yet no one William Hague announced that town. The gulf in class was enormous cites Kenyan history to support this, Kenyans tortured by British colonial and yet we trounced them by 53 runs. save the bloodshed five years ago. It forces during the Mau Mau uprising It really doesn’t get better than that. was incredible to see large queues at will receive payouts totalling £20m. Sadly enough the fortunes of Kenya the voting stations. “We have been In 1962 a coalition government Cricket (and I guess the entire country waiting for this for the past five years.” formed and a constitution was in 2007) have plummeted to some Were the comments of a Mr. Anthony established. Kenya achieved self- Great opportunity to work in a CHECK OUT painful lows, mainly due to financial Wachira to the BBC. Government with Jomo Kenyatta as its telecoms company as a phone tester. OUR WEBSITE and personnel mismanagement. The great thing about primary first Prime Minister. He is renowned My elder brother decided he wanted school in Kenya is the two main as founding father of Kenya. Ethnic Toughshield is an established provider of rugged to study medicine. Since there was no aspects of our history classes: The tensions remained as Kenyatta of devices for enterprise customers. Gain experience and way we could afford international fees Roman Empire and Kenyan history. the Kikuyu tribe reallocated “re- be part of a growing business. If you are interested my mum, brother and I moved to the Our teacher was a very passionate possessed land” from European please contact Veronica Kudajczyk on 0207 491 6942 or UK to try and get home-fees status. Irishman. farmers to his fellow Kikuyus. This [email protected]. My brother graduated as a doctor Kenya was a British colony since created tensions with the other tribes. in 2009 and is now well on his way the end of the 19th century as part Likewise President Moi redistributed to becoming an anaesthetist. More of the East Africa Protectorate. wealth to his Kalenjin tribe while Months of ethnic violence followed also been built. Whatever you can get importantly he is now a father. It It served as a British base during marginalising (and even attacking) the between the Kikuyus, Luos and here, you can now get over there . would appear that the move has been World War 1. Following this, political other Kikuyu and Luo tribes. Having Kalenjins. I was in Nairobi at the time of a good decision. activity in Kenya started to grow as governed with a corrupted iron fist Enough has been written about the the Westgate terrorist attack. I live Having completed secondary the local people bore the brunt of from 1978-2002 fresh elections took atrocities. One of my idols, Wangari quite close by. Investigations are education here my interest in Kenya the increased taxes and lower wages. place, leading to Mwai Kibaki being Maathai (first woman to win the onging and new CCTV footage is became passive. People in the UK Kenya was an important British base named president. There was much Nobel Peace Prize), said, “If they had still being released: It further lets the would say “You’re not black!” or, “Is in World War 2, stimulating African hope in Kenya and the economy grew resources and better leadership they Government down. Police and Army that the capital city of Africa?” when nationalism. Meanwhile tensions rapidly, until Kibaki was ensnared would not be killing each other over werefound to have looted the banks I told them I was from Kenya. Until were rising between the British (who in Moi’s leftovers. Kibaki’s regime grazing ground and water.” and jewellery shops in the building. this summer I hadn’t been back since wanted to impose their agricultural quickly fell apart and Raila Odinga A new constitution was set out by This is a strange situation for me. December 2008. After all, why would methods) and the Kikuyu tribe (who (supported Kibaki in 2002) attacked the government in 2010. It is the first Kenya is an outrageously bountiful I want to go back to a place where refused). As a reaction to exclusion Kibaki’s government in the lead up to (desperately needed) redaction since country of wildlife, scenery and electricity ran three days a week and from political representation the the 2007 elections. Kibaki and Odinga the 1969 constitution It has been met culture. Kenya’s economy is on the where hot water was a luxury? Life was Kikuyu people founded Kenya’s first were the main contestants in the 2007 by widespread international acclaim verge of massive growth and yet things a lot more challenging than it should African political protest movement election which appeared to have been in its efforts to tackle corruption and social security is still terrible. Traffic have been. Yet ‘home’ is and always in 1921. It was the Young Kikuyu won by Odinga, until accusations of strengthen civil society. The recent is horrendous and the inner city roads will be Kenya. I think most Kenyans Association led by Harry Thuku. vote-rigging filtered in. Kibaki swore election was pitted as a two-horse are still gravel. would agree that we are happy to The most famous events occurred himself in as President. race between Raila Odinga and Uhuru Eye-watering sums of money are Kenyatta (son of Jomo, the first Prime being invested into projects like Minister). The latter (who won) stands Konza City which aims to be the accused by the International Criminal ‘silicon savannah’. It will cost around Court along with his Deputy President US$14.5billion. There have also been William Ruto for being involved in oil discoveries in Lake Turkana,. This organising the 2007 attacks. should be good news. I consider myself I returned to Kenya this summer an African and therefore optimism is and was astounded. There are new not a choice; it is a necessity. I have high-rise buildings and apartments faith in Uhuru Kenyatta to leave a everywhere in Nairobi. The Chinese meaningful legacy. If he doesn’t, I have built some new flyovers and hope that the next president will. repaired some main roads. Roads Hope springs eternal. Harambee! leading out to other major cities have I consider myself an African and therefore “ optimism is not a choice; it is a necessity. ” 12 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editors: Eoghan J. Totten, Tessa Davey COMMENT [email protected]

Of the h-bar, Boris Letters

and the weather Dearest Felix Editor,

This Druid still refuses to apologise for the Joseph Letts harm he is planning to cause to the Union. Furthermore he has now started insulting my Editor-in-Chief intelligence by asking a question of infantile proportions. Perhaps for this weed smok- ing hippy of the forest it would have been a Hello again. question of certain difficulty, but not for the So, today sees the opening of the infamous mighty paladin! The answer is obviously, 2.... h-bar, the new pub that has opened in the AND 0!!! HAHA you thought you had caught Sherfield building on the side of the ‘old’ me out Druid, try again and see if you can Holland Bar. This is an interesting event for beat the might of the light! I would wish to postgraduate students and staff members, ask you a question, but judging by the ease most of whom still fondly remember the old by which I answered yours I believe that any pub. question that I ask would blow your mind and There are some major improvements burn your already shoddy robes! I once again in the new venue, including a dedicated await an apology, for all those of us who have food service, a larger drinking space, easy suffered ice cream related incidents! wheelchair access and more space for club and society activities. On the downside for The Paladin PG’s and staff members they’ve lost the use of two snooker tables and they have to share part of the space with undergraduate students for a Monday–Thursday dinner service (5:30- JOSEPH letts 7PM), albeit with the bar section separated by The mayor came to campus to take part in a Who won? Who a partition. We look forward to your letters ‘People’s Question Time’, which was an event outside the library, moments before he began about the new h-bar, all comments welcome, where the people of London had the chance his cycle home. whether glowing praise or long rants. Well, to hold him to account in a public forum. Finally, yes there was a colossal amount of lost? You decide! reasonably long rants. Tickets were quickly snapped up and luckily rain for some parts of this week, it almost makes Tuesday saw the presence of Imperial Felix was able to attend, and we were even one tempted to check the weather forecast. Oh regular, the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson. able to get an exclusive picture of the Mayor well, time to use the new umbrella.

Hiya, guess what? Yes, we’re still looking for writers and news reporters! We don’t care if you’re a scientist, engineer, medic or something else, come and write an article for us! felix. FRIDAY 08 NOV 13

@feliximperial

FelixImperial ARTS

Arts Recommends Astronomy Photographer of the Year @ Royal Observatory Greenwich, SE10 British Museum strikes gold The Greenwich Observatory presents the winning and shortlisted images from across the world for the ever-popular Astronomy Photographer of the Year competition, showcasing stunning photographs ranging from within the solar system to into deep space. Until 23rd February, FREE with Beyond El Dorado

RADAR 2013: Signals from the New Writing World @ Bush Theatre, W12 Festival of intriguing sneak peeks, stimulating debates and inspiring Kamil McClelland performances that will shine a light on the hottest new writing talent of today, Writer and explore the urgent questions facing theatre in this moment and beyond. Includes poetry nights and an artist’s tour of Shepherd’s Bush. 6th - 21st November, £3 - £15 What: Beyond El Dorado: Power and Gold In Ancient Columbia Pop Art Design @ Barbican Art Gallery, EC2 Where: The British Museum, WC1 Featuring over 200 works by more than 70 trailblazing artists and designers, When: Until 23rd March 2014 Pop Art Design is the first comprehensive exhibition to explore the exciting Price: £7 students, £9 adults exchange of ideas between artists and designers in the Pop Age. Includes students-only guided tours by Wallpaper* magazine editors. igh in the Andean jungle, to Until 9th February, £8 students, £12 adults the sound of drums, flutes and trumpets, ‘El Dorado’, the golden one, the future king of the Muisca tribe, prepares Hto dive into sacred Lake Guatavita. Covered from head to toe in gold dust, he tosses emeralds into the water below as an offering to the ethereal spirits that reside in everyone and

everything. © MUSEO DEL ORO, BANCO DE LA REPUBLICA, COLOMBIA It was witnessing ceremonies like this that prompted early Spanish explorers majesty and sophistication not evident them believed they were invincible to speak of a land so rich in gold that anywhere else in the pre-colonial with the whole cosmos on their side. their cities were almost dripping with Americas. Their ability to manipulate Transformation played a large part GUIDING LIGHT TO THE STARS BY MARK GEE (AUSTRALIA) it. Even now, the idea of El Dorado gold through advanced casting and in the lives of these tribes. Their art conjures up images in the minds of hammering processes into divine consistently shows humans in the most Europeans of some mythical city pieces of art is unquestionable, even just process of metamorphosis, with of gold, deep in the South American by looking at the remaining artifacts whiskers or snake scales, and they often 1,500 masterpieces looted by the rainforest - proof of how deeply this not melted down and taken back to practiced body painting or scarification myth has infiltrated our notions of this Spain by gluttonous conquistadors. to create further modification. These magical land. The way that gold doesn’t tarnish ceremonials aimed to blur the lines Nazis found in Munich This mythical ritual was only one and is effectively ageless can make between spiritual and worldly power, of many that occurred amongst the material seem oddly impersonal, making chiefs into demi-gods that his son, Cornelius. The collection was the pre-Hispanic tribes of ancient inexpressive and monotonous. the people idolised and worshipped. Arianna Sorba only discovered when the reclusive Colombia. The Beyond El Dorado Moreover, it can feel over-extravagant Tumbaga, an alloy of gold and silver, Arts Editor Cornelius, now 80 years old, was by exhibition at the British museum sets and emotionally detached, especially was the material mainly used to create chance investigated for tax evasion, out to decipher this El Dorado legend when not in motion. Unless it is their ornamentation and also had and the 1,500 artworks were found and, as the title suggests, go beyond animated, glistening, you do not spiritual meaning as well as practical round one billion euros worth stacked amongst empty juice cartons this to uncover the truth behind the get the same effect of power and benefits. As well as being stronger of art has been discovered in and tins of food in a darkened room in amazingly complex spiritual worlds transcendence. However, the gold in than pure gold, tumbaga represented a the home of an 80 year old his flat. It appears that Cornelius, who of these tribes. Through extensive this exhibition is suitably dispersed union of gold, imbibed with the sun’s man in Munich. The collection, hasn’t been seen since August this year, new archaeological research, viewers amongst a wide array of ceramic and energy, and silver’s luminescent quality including pieces by Matisse, never had a job or even opened a bank gain a clearer picture of civilisations, jewellery pieces, keeping it interesting represents the power and majesty of APicasso, Renoir and others, represents account, and kept himself in pocket by previously only known about through and giving a more varied picture of the the moon. By combining the two, the one of the largest recoveries of looted occasionally selling off a masterpiece the journals of colonisers, looking to technical skill of these vibrant agrarian universe was united and art made from art in recent history, and includes or two to art galleries and auction make it big in this land of wealth and societies. it had a heavenly aura like nothing else. many pieces previously unknown to art houses. opportunity. In 1499, when the Spanish arrived on Beyond El Dorado represents a scholars. The initial discovery was actually The exhibition brings together pieces the shores of Colombia, they found a rediscovery of the intricate societies, The Nazis confiscated or destroyed made early last year, in February 2012, from all of the ancient Colombian people rich in resources beyond their which, up until now, had been largely artworks throughout the 1930s and but the German authorities have kingdoms in a broad display of artistic wildest dreams. However, gold was ignored by European history. It was 1940s that they deemed ‘degenerate’ since been sitting on the information not seen as an economic commodity as if they were the new Spanish or ‘un-German’, including many in order to give art historians time to amongst these peoples. It was a highly conquistadors returning from a far expressionist, surrealist, cubist clarify the works’ values and origins. spiritual material, with all the power flung land, with new artifacts set to and Dada masterpieces. They also There’s also the rather difficult task of and energy of the sun, turning anyone dazzle and delight. The exhibition acquired entire collections of Jewish finding the rightful owners – or even who wore it into a living deity. Its magic felt unique, exciting and extremely art collectors, either by forcing them the descendants of the owners – of enabled spiritual transformations that comprehensive, just as one would to sell to the Nazis at extremely low the artworks. While most pieces do converted shaman into birds, jaguars expect from the British Museum. I prices, or simply taking them once the appear to have been acquired illegally or other powerful creatures. Music, do wish, however, there was more true owners had fled the country. during the war years, the emergence dance and hallucinogens heightened anthropological research done This particular haul was originally of paintings by old masters such as them into a trance-like state where they into these tribes as opposed to gathered by Hildebrand Gurlitt, a Canaletto further complicate the gained the abilities of these animals purely archaeological, as it would museum director who was meant to situation, and suggest that at least some – knowledge, strength, speed – all of contextualize what I was seeing be selling looted works abroad to make of the collection has been legitimately which could help their communities much more. To be able to see videos money for the Nazis. Instead, he kept bought by Gurlitt senior and thus really in war or if struck by disease. They of modern tribes performing rituals the works for himself, reported that the do belong to Cornelius. It could take even wore gold helmets in battles; with full body art and decoration entire collection had been destroyed years before the artworks are returned, completely inept at stopping an arrow would have just added the little extra in the bombing of Dresden in 1945, restored and finally displayed for the but, with all the power that channeled sparkle that this golden exhibition was and eventually handed them down to public once again. © TRUSTEES OF THE BRITISH MUSEUM through them, the warriors who wore missing. 14 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editor: Maciej Matuszewski, Eva BOOKS Rosenthal [email protected]

Flash Fiction The dangers of being strange by Laurence Pope L’etranger for the centenary of Camus’ birth The King watches his empire crumble un- der a tide of darkness. Ivory towers toppled, holy men slain. His fair Queen, crushed un- der mighty hooves. Cornered and alone he Eva Rosenthal throws down his crown. Checkmate. Books editor

Imagine a white hot day blazing around you, created by blinding and numbing sunlight, all colours scrubbed clean- Chortle Festival er and brighter and the air too hot to breathe. As I read L’etranger – usually translated as either The Stranger or The Comes to London Outsider – a similar atmosphere ap- peared to surround me, created by Al- bert Camus to accompany his ‘stranger’ The British comedy website Chortle has announced through the absurd trap lying in wait its first comedy book festival – which will take place from the very first page. in Ealing at the end of this month. The festival will A man – surname Meursault – notes open with a stand up gala in Ealing Town Hall, fea- the death of his mother with the words turing hit comedians including Richard Herring and “Aujoud’ hui, maman est mort. Ou peut Shappi Khorsandi. This opening event will be hosted etre hier, je ne sais pas” – something by Logan Murray, known for his appearances in TV like “Today, mother is dead. Or it could shows such as Peep Show, Packet of Three and Pebble be yesterday, I’m not sure” – in these fa- Mill. mous opening lines. Other events include Robert Finn’s talk on how to The man’s detachment only becomes turn debut novels into bestsellers and Rob Newman’s more evident as the novel progresses. discussion on the trade secrets of Elizibethan Eng- His life is lived through an intense ap- land. Imperial alumnus Dr Simon Singh will present preciation of what might be called life’s a lecture about the mathematical secrets of Matt simple pleasures: watching the progres- Groening’s hit TV shows The Simpsons and Futur- sion and procession of an entire after- ama. Jack Whitehall, star of hit shows Fresh Meat noon from his window, desiring his girl- and Bad Education, will also join his father to discuss friend when she wears a read and white their recently released book Him & Me – which ex- striped dress or swimming in the waves plores their unusual family relationship. on a sultry day. He is not unappreciative Tickets range in price from £5 to £20 per event and of company but rather seems able to de- places are limited so interested people are interested rive only a very superficial feeling from to book early. it; this is more than sufficient for him. For more information and to buy tickets for the indi- In many ways, he could be described vidual events visit comedybookfest.com . – and I imagine a Daily Mail headline would – as cold and soulless… in short, Albert Camus with accompanying non-PC cigarette a stranger to ‘normal’ human feeling – a devil. Meursault’s powers of observation are interesting to me however, is the com- cially, read like the explosion into light immense; he takes careful and precise plete lack of judgement he demonstrates of a human brain. Meursault’s accept- notice of his surroudings and actions, towards the choices made by others, ance of his fate and of the absurdity of often noting bizarre occurrences of hu- something which resonates especially all human life and relationships is con- man behaviour. He also tries to under- in the currently fashionable ‘non-judge- densed into these truly powerful pages. stand himself and his motivations, how- mental’ trend of allowing people to live His life, or rather his death, is a certainty ever simple they may appear to us. Most their lives – to a certain extent – as they and there is nothing left to do but take want. pleasure from the warm summer night On a day of glaring sunlight, walking and the stars, open for the “first time along a beach, the ‘stranger’ enters a to the tender indifference of the world” semi-delirious state and with the even- (loosely translated from “je m’ouvrais ing coming on, shoots and kills a name- pour la premiere fois a la tendre indif- less, although menacing, man. Then, for ference du monde”). no apparent reason, he shoots a further L’etranger is a book that tilts our un- four bullets into the dead man’s body. derstanding of human souls and their Meursault is subsequently jailed, under- myriad forms, of the way in which we standably. are unable to accept anything beyond His trial however, is an absurd night- our narrow view of the world. Meursault mare, that proceeds in any case, with a – a stranger in his society – is cold by sense of the utmost normalcy. some measure. But what meausure are The prosecutor, who initially likes we using? Who are we to judge? In 2013 Meursault, takes a sudden and very per- it seems adequate to pose these ques- sonal aversion to the ‘stranger’s’ disbelief tions. I think Camus poses these and in God. From then onwards, Meursault’s many, and more complex, questions in destiny – the guillotine – becomes en- his L’etranger. trenched. The courthouse is merely a zoo and Meursault an encaged animal, L’etranger by Albert Camus, Editions Gal- judged mostly on the lack of emotion he limard 1942 showed at his mother’s funeral. The Outsider by Albert Camus in a new Jack and Michael Whitehall It is moreover an incredibly human translation by Sandra Smith, Penguin and moving. The last four pages espe- Classics 2013 FRIDAY 08 NOV 15

@feliximperial

FelixImperial MUSIC

Dealing Conversation a Falco-n Punch Stuart Masson talks to Future Of The left guitarist ‘Falco’

uture of the Left released You reached your target amount in their latest album, How just 5 hours. Did it feel satisfying to Stop Your Brain in an to know you’ve cultivated such a Accident, last week and dedicated fanbase? they are currently touring Fthe UK, visiting London on Yeah, it was really exciting on one the 13th. Stuart Masson caught up level, but obviously you don’t want with lead singer and guitarist Andrew to see the whole enterprise purely in ‘Falco’ Falkous. financial terms but just as a show of faith it was quite lovely. I would say it For starters, can you give a quick was quite a heartwarming experience. description of Future of the Left for A lot of the business experience of those who haven’t listened to you being in a band, and it’s increasingly before? a business, is cold and lonely and depressing. So even though it was Just a loud rock band who want something that was just a headlines to play music which is 8% louder than day, and a lot of the work began from most other stuff you’ve heard but still that point, it was still lovely. As much has melody in it and isn’t shit. as it sounds false, I will never forget it, genuinely very exciting. The new album was funded by fan donations on pledge music, did that What prompted the decision to affect the album making process? have the whole album streaming in advance of its release date? It affected it, yes, in the way that it gave us the money to do the record. It’s a question of publicity and It was fantastic to have that money up also because we had some production front and know we weren’t going to problems with the CD production. be scraping around on credit cards or Unfortunately I can’t go into that whatever. It made it easier and more because of legal reasons, I’d love to go fun and it meant that the recording, into that, because I love to pick a fight, for once, was a week in the studio it’s one of my favourite things to do. It You’ve come out in the past and to become really English as a coping followed by a few days mixing. When became a question of the fact that the vilified file sharing. What was the mechanism. Are you looking forward to getting we’ve recorded in the past it’s been album wouldn’t be available until the story there? back on the road and touring the broken up into weekends or single 28th rather than the 21st so if people Your lyrics are often highly surreal new album? days, just whenever we’ve had the were going to be talking about the I think it’s important in terms of and amusing. What is your writing times off week. There was a certain record, we wanted them to be talking the blog post I wrote when our album process? I am, especially if my back gets comfort that allowed us to focus and about the actual songs, not the fact it leaked two and a half months early better, because I’ve been in agony for really get into it. was going to be delayed. a few years ago, that was specifically In general, the lyrics are usually the last few weeks. I went to see an about leaks as opposed to file sharing. just thrown together at the last osteopath this morning, so if I can I’m not the hugest fan of file sharing, moment. Sometimes, when they are stand up straight, I will enjoy touring a I don’t know many self-respecting thrown together at the last moment lot more. Although I feel lucky to have musicians who are, although some they don’t work, and they’re the songs a job and earn some money, nothing people have convinced themselves that nobody ends up hearing. More comes close to playing rock n roll. that they are. Leaks are a different often than not I think it’s really helpful thing, especially when they happen to the creative process to have some You’re well known for your on stage so early, because people have got into pressure. We’ve finished recording rants and putting hecklers down. Is your record, extracted the fat and for the day, everybody else is having this something you plan or does it protein, and moved onto something dinner, you’ve got an hour to write come out naturally when you’re on else, even if they’ve really enjoyed it, a two songs, go. That kind of situation stage? month before your record even exists brings out the best in me. tangibly. Also, when you release an When I started playing, I didn’t say album, you want a sense of occasion, I You made the unusual decision to anything in between songs because I wouldn’t go as far as to say a party, but release an EP, Human Death, at the didn’t know what to say and also, you want it to certainly be an event same time as the album. How did when nobody knows who you are, in your life. When it’s been leaked so that come about? what’s the fucking point in talking? early, when it is eventually released, There was maybe a time, when Kelson it’s just apologetically farted out into We just wrote a lot of songs that was in the band as well, when perhaps the world. we really loved which weren’t maybe the talking and people talking back at as focused as the record. We definitely us from the crowd got a bit too much. How did you come up with the voice don’t see them as b-sides, in any sense. There’s a balance to be drawn. You in Singing of the Bonesaws? We see them as being part of a slightly need to remember it is about the rock. more considered musical approach. There’s some genuinely funny people I don’t honestly know. Maybe For example, in the case of Fucked Up who come to see us, but sometimes I hadn’t had enough oxygen to my Runners, that was kind of our jokey, you just find people who know the brain that day. I was listening to the very self-conscious attempt at doing reputation of the band and just want end of the first test between England a song with a kind of Shellac-y guitar to be arseholes and make the show and Australia in the middle of doing sound. To us, if that had ended up about them. If that happens, we just vocal takes and I was a bit nervous, on the problem album, it would have get them fucking chucked out. so maybe something in me decided sounded too much like a pastiche. 16 FRIDAY 08 NOV Editor: Simon Hunter, Riaz Agahi, Stuart Masson, William MUSIC Stocker [email protected]

Do you enjoy having such a fans? reputation? Yeah, I mean they’re really easy to Embarrasments or Riches? No, but it is the way we are. play and they’re really good fun and I Generally speaking, it’s a good thing in wrote them, so it would a shame not terms of the atmosphere it engenders, to hear those songs again. Particularly but occasionally it becomes a bit of To Hell with Good Intentions and Riaz Agahi examines a few new(ish) releases a problem. You just have to have the Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues, they knowledge and experience to deal with really are the easiest songs to play ever that problem, to understand when it written and I love playing them. What becomes a bit boring. We had a show is actually quite flattering is that people in Sydney about four years ago where a lot of people enjoy those songs. What this guy kept shouting the same shit all is a bit sad is when the biggest reaction the time and we kept humouring him of the night is to those songs, and that and taking the piss out of him. A lot of happens sometimes. But yeah, we like the people in the crowd enjoyed it, but playing them. if you’re a long way back in the crowd, it’s difficult to hear what the heckler’s Finally, ever since I first heard saying, so you’re only hearing one half Robocop 4 – Fuck Off Robocop, I’ve of the conversation. That isn’t always always wanted to ask you, what’s apparent to the people on stage, so you your favourite film? need to be aware that the experience for everybody in the audience is not I’ve got a few, but probably, if it had to as hilarious as for those at the front, be one, probably Dr Strangelove. I love and when people have paid to come Blazing Saddles, that’s probably the Sergio Sorrentino & Huntsville Joachim Nordwall and see you, the emphasis is on best out and out comedy. So yeah, Dr entertaining them first and foremost. Strangelove, that’s my favourite film. Machinefabriek Vignettes Past Increasing, Future Soul Music You often drop a few mclusky tracks Future of the Left’s new album - How into your Future of the Left sets. Is To Stop Your Brain In An Accident, Receding that because you still enjoy playing was released on October 28th via the songs or is just a treat for the Prescriptions Autodidactic Dutch graphic Huntsville are one of the many This album has the potential to be artist – turned sound artist Ma- Norwegian bands such as Puma, who one of my favourites of the year, and its chinefabriek recently added to fall into the ‘jazz’ category which for quality is backed up by its recent place his prolofic 2013 output with this my money is always a rather dismiss- in Wire’s latest office ambience, one of effort, a collaboration withSergio ive label to put on these normally very the biggest accolades in my opinion. AMS album of the week Sorrentino, an Italian avante-garde eclectic artists, so for the purpose of Having said that, it’s certainly the big- guitarist considered to be one of the this review I am going to defy Occam’s gest misnomer of the year. Those in Arcade Fire - Reflektor best modern Italian guitarists. From razor and instead call them ‘ambient search of soul music should probably an early age he showed a precocious free-jazz-folk.’ scurry back to their Motown collection Despite it being over ten years since AF first brilliance, performing in a tonne of This is their second album since as there’s not much to enjoy here. burnt music onto a CD to hand out at a small places in his native country, and has moving from ubiquitous Norwegian What it does have, is Joachim local gig in their Montreal neighbourhood, gradually amassed a large amount of jazz label Rune Grammofon to Hubro Nordwall of The Skull Defekts fame they are still teenagers – full of fire, angst, acclaim for his work, which, it should and much like their other albums blasting out some music that I would beauty and surprising lyricism. They have be said is more Oren Ambarchi than consists of a small number of long describe as the lounge-music in purga- been almost alone in crafting albums which Sir Richard Bishop. tracks, in this case 3 tracks totalling tory. It’s not a huge departure from have a lot to say without falling into the dread- The album as a whole reminds me 40 minutes. I always feel like this is a his previous work, and indeed final ed ‘concept album’ trap. Their first offering, of the high point of Machinefabriek’s brave format for such a short album, track Psychic Propaganda is actually Funeral, is a masterpiece of tension and strife 2012 album Color Tones a 12 minute because in a 40 minute punk album, a re-edit of last year’s EP, showing a between generations, Neon Bible is a biting track called Mosaic, which culmi- for example, you can afford to throw connection between it and this work, criticism of modern day religion and The Sub- nates in a wonderfully relaxing and a few crap songs in and no one will which actually has a thicker timbre by urbs is an exploration of the hopelessly grey areas that lie between the urban and rural evocative guitar part. In a way, with notice. comparison. extremes. But the crucial thing is they needn’t be, it’s the music and not the ideas that Sorrentino’s able assistance, Machine- The opener, Presence in Absence, If this is Dante’s Inferno, then keep you hooked. They have developed a sound that can span genres and yet still be fabriek has distilled the beauty of this starts with some rather ominous, puls- the album’s equivalent of Virgil is the solidly AF, and never has this been more evident than on their fourth: REFLEKTOR. moment into an entire album, backed ing, ethereal tones which are uncer- percussion, provided by Jean-Louis The first impressive thing about REFLEKTOR is that it lived up to its enormous hype. up by a suitable sense of dread, remi- emonously eclipsed by a loud clatter Huhta, also from The Skull Defekts. NME have called AF ‘the most important band of the decade’ and I feel a strong per- niscient of Svarte Greiner’s release of from the drums, recalling in a way the The percussion is really the central sonal attachment to their music, they’re certainly my favourite active band. Despite this year, Black Tie. dynamic brilliance of Emptyset. At 17 theme of the album, one that hypno- this, for the past week my housemates have been slowly going mad as I have it blaring If I were to describe Sorrentino’s minutes, it’s rather a slow burner, and tises and creates something of a trance out of my room on perpetual repeat, so they have clearly delivered. The second is the guitar work in 2 words I would say: gradually adds layers over the course like state, but in a much more muted sheer scope of the album’s music – funky synth pop, dub, straight out rock’n’roll and natural harmonics. I can totally un- of the track as the timbre slowly and eerie way than the electronic more traditional AF styles all woven together with that sound, and a very new, much derstand why as well, as they possess thickens. Very melodic guitar work genre. more electronic and gripping bass section. a subtlety that a notew often can’t gives the track a meandering feel until The relation between this album The album opens with the only single, ‘REFLEKTOR’, a seven and bit minute long, muster and it’s a tool I’ve used end- it gradually decays, interesting, though and dance music definitely does hold infectious and subtle attack on online personas and digital relationships. Featuring lessly in my own exploration of bass is how each instrument has a moment water though, particularly in tracks a stuttering sax solo, beautiful harmonies and backing vocals by David Bowie (who guitar. where it leads the track. like ‘Soul Vibration’ or the very ap- threatened to steal the single, it was so good!) the album starts well and stays that way. The album is one of those albums ‘The Flow of Sand’ is possibly my propriately titled ‘Acid Ritual,’ where Highlights include the entire album. Personal favourites however are ‘Flashbulb Eyes’, that flows as one piece, with an ele- favourite, as it evolves over a slightly Nordwall’s synth work recalls acid with its dubby vibes and terror that our obsession with documenting our lives through ment at the end of each track usher- distorted repetitive bassline, like a house. In fact, ‘Acid Ritual’ would be photographs has taken the spirit out of things, and ‘Normal Person’ which is basically a ing in the next. The electronic drone darker, less groovy Fire! Really what a great alternative title for the album, mocking rock ballad about normality and our endless search for it. It should be so aw- style sounds from Machinefabriek’s we have is 3 interesting studies in particularly given the dark ritualistic fully clichéd but instead it ends up being really, really good. REFLEKTOR is certainly the synth work extend notes beyond drone, which evolve slowly by varying vibe that Nordwall produces through- most danceable AF album to date, but doesn’t lose any of its soul – it’s more a natural their expected length, giving a sort of the elements involved and the more out. evolution for a band not afraid to explore. If I was forced to find a criticism it would be disorienting effect which maximises expressive elements, like the guitar, It reminds me a little of EVOL’s the sad decrease of Régine Chassagne’s vocal contribution – she still provides power- the dynamics of the piece. seem to guide a change in mood. Proper Headshrinker, an album that ful harmonies and compliments Win’s voice beautifully, but there’s no stand out vocal The only real problem I can While the album’s great, there’s a it sounds nothing like but which, like performance from her like Haiti or Sprawl II. think of is that never really explodes, certain sense of no end product, but Soul Music, presents the traditions of Still it’s probably the best album of the year, go listen to it. but to change that would ruin its any Huntsville – or indeed free jazz electronic music in a very abstract and Stuart Masson subtlety. fan, will know to enjoy the journey. unfamiliar way.

18 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editor: John Park FILM [email protected]

The endgame Only Tilda and Tom left alive

the end, Ender’s Game does neither. Michael S. Martin After an attack on Earth by an ant- Star Writer like alien species called formics is very narrowly defeated, humanity decides to prepare itself from a future attack by sending its best and brightest chil- Ender’s Game dren to Battle School, a space station where they are groomed by Colonel Director: Gavin Hood Graff (Ford, with his usual geriatric Writers: Gavin Hood, Orson Scott grumpiness) to become the army of Card (novel) the future. The best and brightest of Starring: Harrison Ford, Asa them all is Ender Wiggin (Butter- Butterfield, Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail field), but he is troubled by his violent Breslin, Viola Davis, Ben Kingsley impulses. Runtime: 114 minutes In a way, Ender’s Game is similar to Certificate: 12A the first Harry Potter film -Harry Pot- www.themovies.co.za ter and the Philosopher’s Stone-, up to dodgy lines and suspect acting by some of the supporting child actors. Eve’s sister Ava joins them, played to Watson’, who supplies Adam his blood The film’s appeal is exploring with Fred Fyles bratty perfection by rising star Mia with a side order of sardonic coolness the main character the possibilities in Star Writer Wasikowska, but this forms a small - tip the balance in Jarmusch’s favour, Over the past few years we have sadly the new world he is in, much like the blip on their introspective existence. preventing things from getting too seen studios satisfy audiences’ need best part of GTA is seeing if you can In fact, without this upset there would heavy. for film escapism with story-driven kill sharks with grenades. When we be very little to drive the plot along; Swinton is, as ever, a magnificent fantasy action (comic book films be- first enter space we see blobs of sick despite great performances from John presence on the screen. With her ing the biggest example) while staying floating around in zero gravity. In Bat- Only Lovers Left Hurt as fellow vampire Christopher piercing gaze and startling appear- away from science fiction. Even sci-fi tle School the students are trained by Marlowe and Anton Yelchin as Ian, ance, she is an obvious choice to play staples like Star Trek -whose writers playing a sort of zero gravity paintball Alive Adam’s only friend from the human Eve - in every scene she is in she man- Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci are in which limbs that get hit are ren- world, Only Lovers Left Alive is essen- ages to quietly steal the show, stealth- involved in this project- haven’t been dered immobile, so we see the stu- Director: Jim Jarmusch tially a duologue between the central ily drawing attention towards herself spared and have been turned into en- dents try different strategies of dubi- Writers: Jim Jarmusch characters. like a black hole. With standout roles tertaining but nonetheless seat-rum- ous real world application. Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Tilda The fact that Adam makes his living in a huge range of films - from Lynne bling blockbusters. The film leaves behind much of the Swinton, Mia Wasikowska, John as a secretive musician, creating songs Ramsay’s devastating We Need to Talk After decades in development discussion on war and the use of vio- Hurt, Anton Yelchin, Jeffrey Wright on antique recording equipment, About Kevin to Tony Gilroy’s thriller (young Anakin Jake Lloyd was consid- lence, and all of the political backdrop Runtime: 123 minutes fits in nicely with the film’s brilliant Michael Clayton - I feel like I can say, ered for the role of ten year old Ender), from the book, to become a film about soundtrack, which won accolades without risk of hyperbole, that Swin- I had some hope that an adaptation children bouncing around in space. at Cannes. Masterminded by Dutch ton is one of the most versatile and of the popular novel Ender’s Game But if we judge it as that it is a very The veteran American actor Mar- composer Jozef van Wissem, and fea- talented actors of our time. On a side would inject some much needed sci- entertaining and well made film. It all tin Mull once said ‘a cult following is turing the electronic/experimental/ note, it is incredibly refreshing to see fi into blockbusters. But when I saw escalates to a much bigger third act a nice way of saying very few people avant-garde darling Zola Jesus, the an- - in an industry where actresses peak that Gavin Hood, director of the ter- that packs a lot of punch, and leaves like you’. Perhaps this is a worrying tics of Adam and Eve are accompanied at the age of 30 - a film in which the rible X-Men Origins: Wolverine, was with a last scene that satisfies the thought for legendary independent by an eclectic range of sounds that romance is played out between an directing that hope turned to fear that viewers’ need for closure but still sets director Jim Jarmusch, whose latest range from the mid-century Motown older woman and a younger man. a very good novel would be ruined. In up the possibility of a sequel. feature film Only Lovers Left Alive has that made Detroit famous, to middle Within Hollywood there is a tendency been chosen to headline the ‘Cult’ sec- eastern sounding string music, to epic for the leading man to engage in a re- tion of the London Film Festival’s pro- post-rock soundscapes. Jarmusch’s lationship with a woman who is no- gramme. The components that make soundtracks are always a delight, but tably younger; I call this the ‘Woody up the film - existential crises, noc- with this film he has outdone him- Allen Effect’, after arguably the worst turnal wanderings, and fetishisation self, curating a breathtakingly brilliant offender, whose films regularly fea- of all things vintage - make it sound playlist. ture him as the protagonist in a rela- a bit like some kind of obnoxious arts However, despite holding strong tionship with women up to 30 years student’s final project; they’ve read a in most other regards, it is the script his junior. In Only Lovers Left Alive bit of Satre, seen A Bout de Souffle a that somewhat lets the film down. the age difference between the pro- couple of times, and now can’t wait to Jarmusch, who wrote the screenplay, tagonists isn’t seen as a major factor show the world how achingly hip they has an obsession with name-dropping (they are immortal after all), making are. However, despite some hipster- famous poets, artists, and musicians it a seem like a breath of fresh air in a esque pretentions, Jarmusch’s light the two main characters have known largely patriarchal industry. touch and shades of black humour over their long life; it seems that there The cinematography in the film is make this film incredibly entertaining. wasn’t a single person of note from the sublime, with Detroit and Tangiers Described by Jarmusch as a ‘crypto- last two centuries who didn’t have the captured in long, languid shots; while vampire love story’, Only Lovers Left pleasure of Adam and Eve’s company it could easily be classed as ‘ruin porn’, Alive focuses on the relationship be- - from Byron and Shelley, to Poe and the burned out remains of Detroit tween Adam and Eve, a pair of aging the aforementioned Marlowe. There form a beautiful backdrop for this vampires played by Tom Hiddleston is one particularly painful scene where unconventional love story. These im- and Tilda Swinton. Drifting through Adam drives Eve past Jack White’s for- ages, combined with the wonderful the streets of romantic Tangiers and mer house in Detroit, and they both soundtrack and the magnetic cast of heart-breakingly desolate Detroit like wax lyrically about how much they Swinton and her bright young things, wandering stars, they come together love him. add up to make a film that is almost for night-time drives, ruminations Although this habit does make the achingly cool. Literally dripping in on the banality of modern life, and film seem a bit like an exercise in pre- ennui, Only Lovers Left Alive is a film trips to a local hospital to ensure their tension, the wonderful humourous that will appeal to both hardcore supply of ‘pure O negative’ doesn’t moments scattered throughout the cinephiles and casual viewers alike. A

Entertainment Weekly run dry. Their peaceful cohabitation film - most notably a star turn for Jef- cult film? Certainly. An unlikable one? is momentarily interrupted when frey Wright as the phlebotomist ‘Dr Not a chance. FRIDAY 08 NOV 19

@feliximperial

FelixImperial FILM

The return of the Australian Norse god Imperial Cinema

Jack Steadman Writer

Thor: The Dark World

Director: Alan Taylor Writers: Christopher Yost, Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely screenrush.com Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hiddleston, Christopher Eccleston, scale battle (one of many), which looks large-scale battles that echo those in the wise-cracking Loki (who provides Idris Elba, Jaimie Alexander, Ray far prettier than it has any right to be, Avengers Assemble to epic one-on- the vast majority of laughs throughout Stevenson, Zachary Levi, Kat considering it takes place in a world ones, including both a barnstorming the film, despite only appearing in less Dennings, Stellan Skarsgård, quite literally entitled The Dark World action sequence on the Dark World than half), and the supporting cast As a special Post-Grad Film Night Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (why yes, it is that Dark World from and the finale, a inter-dimensional give as good as they can with predom- we’re showing the critically ac- Runtime: 120 minutes the title, however did you guess). This battle between Thor and Malekith inantly limited screen-time (particu- claimed coming-of-age drama Mud. Certification: 12A grimy yet weirdly pretty quality seeps (Chris Eccleston) that consistently larly for the Lady Sif and the Warriors With echoes of the Adventures of through the entire film – Asgard is wrong-foots everyone involved, from Three, who appear even less than they Huckleberry Finn it tells the story of absolutely beautiful, and the FX are the participants to the audience (and did the first time). Chris Eccleston two teenage boys in rural Arkansas second to none (the 3D’s even kind of is all the more fantastic for it). feels a little wasted as Malekith con- who meet and help a reclusive fugi- good, in that ‘doesn’t quite justify the The twisty-turny nature of the finale sidering he spends most of his time tive called Mud (Matthew McCo- Phase 2 of Marvel’s grand scheme to extra price of entry but still looks nice’ is representative of the plot as a whole just making strange noises, though, as naughey) who is hiding out in hope take over the world (sorry, “make re- way). The design of the Dark Elves – there’s a lot going on here, and while does Natalie Portman when her role is of a reunion with an ex girlfriend ally good movies”) continues apace feels a bit generic (although their ship it’s not exactly difficult to follow it can mostly reduced to damsel-in-distress called Juniper (Reese Witherspoon). with this, the second entry in the se- interiors bear more than a few simi- mean that the two major, surprisingly replete with bonus sarky assistant (Kat As the travails of adolescence ensue, ries about everyone’s second-favourite larities to the feel of the Xenomorphs powerful emotional sequences feel Dennings, still fantastic). the two boys clash with Mud and Norse god (if you’re about to tell me from Alien, which gives them bonus a little weakened. On the flip-side: There are plenty of additional learn about the hardships of family, Loki isn’t your favourite, I’m going to creepiness), but since the focus is less much more time spent on them would treats throughout the film – from love and the loss of innocence. stop you there and tell you you’re a re- on them and more on the action, it’s have dragged the film down into an one completely predictable cameo to Kick-Ass 2 is the acid-tongued ally bad liar). With Game of Thrones not a major issue. over-long, intolerable mess, so taking one (hilarious) surprise one – and it’s sequel to the raucous comic book director Alan Taylor taking over the Speaking of the action (of which it as it is is definitely the better option definitely another Marvel film that de- movie send-up. The semi-retired reins from Kenneth Branagh, it seems there is a lot), it’s just as good as any- here. mands a rewatch just to fully appreci- eponymous hero (Aaron Taylor- reasonable to expect things to take a thing that’s come before in the Marvel Of course, all this prettiness and de- ate it all. A couple of plot points do go Johnson) decides to return to his darker, grimier tone than the rather film universe, and in some cases goes lightful plot would count for naught missing in action (namely the poten- crime fighting ways by training camp, light-hearted original and, well, on to better it. It’s as quippy as you’d were the actors completely useless, tial for a Sif-Thor-Jane love triangle), with Hit-Girl. In other news, Chris they do. expect from a Marvel film (as evi- and that’s definitely not the case here. but on the whole it’s all wrapped up D’Amico aka the guy who plays After the standard opening mono- denced within the first two minutes of Hemsworth is as comfortable with nicely in one of the year’s best films. McLovin. commits matricide and logue from Odin (Anthony Hopkins), Thor’s (Chris Hemsworth) introduc- Mjolnir as he’s ever been, Tom Hid- As for the stings: well, see them for decides to reinvent himself as su- events instantly launch into a full- tory fight), but it also ranges from the dleston is the undeniable highlight as yourself. There are two, after all… pervillain: the Motherfucker. The Motherfucker assembles a gang of badman supervillains who and Martin strike up the unlikeliest enter deep discussions about religion, go on a rampage of policeman de- Dame Judi’s finest hour friendship in search for a boy they sex, among others, and it’s an on- capitation and twitter bullying. only know as Anthony. screen pairing that is never boring. Nerdy Kick-Ass and Hit Girl have And so starts the thoroughly enter- Sixsmith at first isn’t all that invested their work cut out if they want nary retelling of what started off as a taining journey that eventually takes in the story: it’s something he does any chance of taking down The John Park horrifying event. A child is torn away them across the Atlantic to the States instead of writing books about Rus- Motherfucker! Film Editor from his mother, and for 50 long years where the two outstanding perfor- sian history he knows no one will read Mud-11th of November at 19:00 she has kept this a secret, ashamed of mances of the film’s leads are put to now that he’s unemployed. And yes Tickets: £5 online imperialcollege- such past, stemming from her long- tremendous use. Dench’s heart-break- they have their differences, most obvi- union.org/node/3970 or £6 on the running faith in the Catholic Church. ing portrayal is without doubt the ously so when it comes to discussing door, includes a free ice-cream or Philomena She finally gathers up the courage to highlight, and so are the outrageous- God, but as time goes by he warms to bag of popcorn. share this painful information, which ly hysterical one-liners Philomena her view of the world, and is clearly Kick-Ass 2- 12th November at Director: Stephen Frears leads to a desperate search for her comes up with, said in all seriousness drawn more and more to help her find 19:00, 14th November at 19:00 Tick- Writers: Stephen Frears, Jeff Pope, long-lost son who she knows nothing without actually trying to be funny. closure. ets: £3 members/£4 Non-Members Martin Sixsmith (novel) about, but who she has never stopped We saw Dame Maggie Smith drop the There are many unexpected turns These will be our final set of Starring: Judi Dench, Steve Coogan thinking of. f-bomb in last year’s Quartet. Here the film takes, none of them an un- screenings this term before our Runtime: 98 minutes Philomena Lee (Judi Dench) is one Dame Judi Dench drops a “c” one...not believable development, but ones legendary all-nighter in Decem- Certificate: 12A of many women who were sent off to THE C-word...but something close. that amount to something a lot more ber (check out our website https:// an Irish convent to spend their youth- With her incredibly sweet and moving poignant and thought-provoking. union.ic.ac.uk/arts/cinema/ in the ful years working almost like slaves performance, Dench is an unstoppa- Tears will flow as Dench dominates near future for more deets) under the fierce command of harsh, ble powerhouse breaking your heart the screen with never-ending warmth, Here is a link to Imperial Cinema strict nuns. A pregnancy out of wed- with her every glance. and when there is sadness there will be membership imperialcollegeunion. lock and a forced adoption abroad Her travel companion Coogan is as many moments of laughter, and it’s org/?q=node%2F2969, it’s £5 for a Stephen Frears’ latest “inspired by a is her “human-interest” story, and equally as effective, providing the this delicate balance that gives the film year and guarantees you cheaper true story” drama is a rousing crowd- helping her tell this is disgraced ex- complete opposite of the God-re- its endless likability, one that is never films all year! First film is free! pleaser that will make you cry and BBC correspondent Martin Sixsmith specting, very courteous, socially forced, but instead charms with its Next time: Cinema All-Nighter! laugh throughout with its extraordi- (Steve Coogan). Together Philomena unaware grandmother. Together they gentle, genuine storytelling. Think you can do better? Join the team, or donate to help cure cancer, at http://tiny.cc/impmo - whether you can grow a moustache or not! [email protected] Only a few, valuable centrefold spaces left this term. You provide the people, we’ll do the rest. Free for any club, society, or project! 22 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editor: John Park FILM [email protected] 2014 at the Oscars: Best Supporting Actor

Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave) Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips) Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club) Tom Hanks (Saving Mr Banks)

It’s a shocking but true fact that Mi- Everyone thought they would be im- Playing a transgender character is The film marks the first time Walt chael Fassbender has never been nom- pressed by Tom Hanks. And they no easy job for any actor, but word Disney has ever been played on the big inated for an Oscar. Ever. Not even were. But making an even bigger is, Jared Leto (who lost 30 pounds screens. And who better to play such for Shame. That’s right. So this really impact in this thriller that finds an for the role) gives quite the sensa- an icon than Tom Hanks, who shows should be his year to shine...right? His American container ship boarded by tional performance of this year. He he’s not only good at saving Private ruthless, pure-evil, malicious inter- armed Somalian pirates was Barkhad was awarded the Breakthrough Actor Ryan but also Mr Banks in an attempt pretation of the worst slave owner Abdi, a first-time actor. It’s the deadly Award at the Hollywood Film Awards to bring Mary Poppins the novel to you’ll ever come across is frighten- intensity in his eyes that scares at first, (perhaps slightly insulting given how the movie theatres? As Walt, he is the ingly convincing, and his unhinged but it’s also the surprisingly humane long he’s been successfully around in friendliest boss you’ll ever find on this performance is compelling through- side to his lead pirate character that the industry), but an Oscar campaign planet, and as his easy-going Ameri- out. Once again, his performance isn’t he brings out that paints an interest- must surely be well underway. She’s a can way clashes with the more tradi- something you’d feel comfortable sit- ing aspect of his role that could have seemingly street-smart, HIV-positive tional and uptight English methods of ting through to watch, but even that been simpler and dumbed down. Abdi prostitute, although she too must have Mrs Travers, the book’s author, much taboo subject of slavery shouldn’t de- should definitely brace himself for a a story or two to tell given her actual hilarity ensues, with Hanks being an ter a nomination at this year’s race. whole horde of nominations. vulnerability and insecurity. integral part of the pair.

December is just around the corner, and film studios are lining up their critically-lauded films to take part in this year’s much-anticipated Os- car race. As with any year, there are strong contenders in every field and it’s certainly too early to be betting on a winner. So over the next few weeks, Felix Film will be giving you a breakdown of the actors, actresses and films that will be grabbing the headlines in the near future; but this is in no way a definitive list, as some of the films haven’t even been released over here yet. This week in our feature is the Best Supporting Actor category. Ready... Steady... Go! FRIDAY 08 NOV 23

@feliximperial

FelixImperial FILM 2014 at the Oscars: Best Supporting Actor

James Franco (Spring Breakers) Sam Rockwell (The Way, Way Back) David Oyelowo (The Butler) Jake Gyllenhaal (Prisoners) James Gandolfini (Enough Said)

Remember that film that no one saw With dialogue such as “You see what Angry and rebellious, with his im- As a hardworking detective deter- As a plus-sized man with a heart of and was hated by the very few that I did there? I manipulated her with pulsive, fiery temper, although never mined to get to the bottom of a mys- gold, the late James Gandolfini’s un- did see it? Harmony Korine’s Spring my sexual charisma”, the sleazy-look- without a justifiable cause, David Oye- terious kidnapping case that only timely passing makes this grown-up Breakers is certainly a tricky one to ing Sam Rockwell is full of hilarious lowo’s performance is electrifying. As gets more and more complicated as romantic comedy all the more touch- come to grips with, something that one-liners, as he runs a summer wa- a black man growing up in a society hidden evidence and the past slowly ing and poignant. Two divorced adults requires patience and a completely ter-park in this heartwarming indie that never fully embraces him, it’s only start opening up, Gyllenhaal’s at-times in their mid-fifties try their luck once different level of expectations from comedy. His supporting turn is an understandable that he has such a dis- greatly restrained and at-times incred- more with falling in love, although this the action-packed, girl-power film it absolute triumph in a film that boasts torted view of the unkind world. The ibly intense, moody performance, as time there are other problems that promises to be. But something that several top-notch cast members. Sure, inevitable conflict that arises between well as that intricate balance between present themselves between the cou- cannot be faulted is James Franco’s ec- the film was released during summer him and his government-serving fa- the two, is a part of what keeps this ple. Gandolfini delivers the humour- centric supporting turn, which alone as a vacation family movie, but there ther is tragic and heartbreaking, and 150-minute crime drama thriller so ous aspect of his character well, and makes the movie worth seeing. His should be enough charm and quality as one important half of such relation- utterly compelling. As he becomes is a worthy star opposite Julia Louis- tattooed, dreadlocked, fake-toothed in the coming-of-age story to warrant ship, Brit actor Oyelowo absolutely tired and frustrated, we do too, but the Dreyfus, but it’s the more vulnerable appearance is a shocker, and the acting some worthy attention and spotlight nails it opposite Oscar-winning Forest tough investigative process is made side of him with his cuddly big heart that goes with it is remarkable. his tremendous role. Whitaker. more relatable thanks to him. that really wins us all over.

Daniel Brühl (Rush) Steve Coogan (Philomena) Matthew McConaughey (Mud) Jeremy Renner (American Hustle) Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Ron Howard’s exhilarating Formula Possibly the least showy role on the One of McConaughey’s more serious David O. Russell’s American Hustle is Who knew that awkward, insecure kid 1 drama benefits hugely from its un- list, but in keeping with the film’s roles, where he doesn’t turn on the the kind of film that could be nominat- from Superbad could be considered as forgettable race sequences (and lots general tone, it’s the quieter, more cheese or lay on his thick Southern ed for all four acting categories next a contender during awards season and of them, too), but when it comes to subdued performance that makes accent; one to show us what a versa- year. We already discussed Jennifer in particular, the Oscar race? Having selling the biopic part of the film, it’s the most impact, which is what Steve tile actor he can really be. As fugitive Lawrence having the potential to be already been nominated once before the actors who do all the hard work. Coogan brings to the table. There’s on the run, McConaughey possesses a part of the Best Supporting Actress for Moneyball, things are starting to As Niki Lauda, Daniel Brühl makes a plenty of dry humour for him to play all the right necessary rough edges gang, and with this category, it’s a dif- look promising again for Jonah Hill, memorable figure of the legend. There around with, but ultimately it’s his to convince, but there is more to his ficult choice between Jeremy Renner who stars in a Martin Scorsese film is tragedy that surrounds his charac- chemistry with Judi Dench that makes ‘Mud’ character than what you may in- and Bradley Cooper. But since Cooper that is due to be released in the States ter, one that Brühl plays to the right the pair’s travelogue so richly dense, itially be shown. He’s someone deeply received plenty of attention last year, on Christmas Day which is a real dou- level of sensitivity without overdoing with touching drama and appropri- in love with possibly the wrong wom- we’re siding with Renner on this one... ble whammy when it comes to the the suffering. It’s a rousing perfor- ate wit. His character’s transformation an, and with this comes heartbreak, for the moment. Donning that ridicu- kind of backing you have. Here his role mance, one that proudly stands out throughout the film is exceptionally unlikely friendship and touching sac- lous 1970s retro hairdo for the new seems to be more comedic in nature, even amongst all the more obvious captured by Coogan, who proves his rifice. Mud was quite the indie critical heist film, Renner is one of the most which will no doubt work towards his loud engines and squeaky tires. knack for drama as well. hit, so a nomination is possible. under-awarded actors around. advantage. 24 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editors: John Park, Emily Fulham TELEVISION [email protected] It’s country music y’all!

Nashville: Season 2

John Park Television Editor

In a battle for the top of the country charts, let the cat-fights commence between an older living legend who is struggling to keep up with the evolv- ing music industry, and a younger, fresh-faced new star who is experi- encing success as a crossover artist be- tween country and pop to a huge teen- age fan-base. Rayna James (Connie Britton) is the older one, Juliet Barnes (Hayden Panettiere) is the younger one, and together they headline Nash- ville, a rather inconsistent soap opera dressed up all nice and pretty in the good original soundtrack that tries to carry the clunky series along. The focus on the music industry are raised as to whether she’ll ever be is the upside of the show. Even for able to sing live again, with a rousing those not familiar with country mu- answer provided on the excellent clos- sic, a good mixture set list of both ing scene of episode 5. upbeat, cheerful songs, to the slower As if the show wasn’t crowded ballads, is enough to win over new enough, we also get a peek into the fans. What the characters sing about politics of Nashville, Tennessee. Ray- are highly limited, as is the case with na’s soon-to-be ex-husband Teddy the country music genre in general Conrad (Eric Close) is now the mayor - driving trucks, drinking beer/whis- determined to run a clean office al- key and love, mostly heartache. The though there is pressure from Rayna’s cast members tasked with singing wealthy, powerful father Lamar (the a lot of the original songs all handle excellent, excellent, Powers Boothe them beautifully. Britton and Panet- whose deep, growly voice is still as tiere both have strong voices as well as menacing and authoritative as ever) to charisma and stage presence in their do things his way. Along with Teddy flashy music scenes, and it’s certainly there is a subplot that is headed for refreshing for a musical drama where disaster as his girlfriend/mistress its protagonists don’t randomly break Peggy Kenter (Kimberley Williams- out into a song-and-dance routine to Paisley) claims that she’s pregnant al- throw their worries away. These peo- though she’s clearly not. This tiresome ple aren’t misguided, delusional high- an interesting angle on a newly form- crash. His hand is badly damaged, industry, as well as its need to be cut- strand better resolve itself quickly, as school teens, they seem more like real ing bromance. They used to absolutely which means he needs to say good- throat and ruthless is played out well any soapy drama that distracts from individuals with deep-rooted prob- hate each other - but it would appear bye to music career and his extensive through Juliet’s character more in sea- the music is one that needs to quickly lems that need addressing. their new common ground of loving guitar collection. That revelation con- son 2 than how Rayna’s struggle was go away. Contributing to the music scenery to perform will bring them closer. cerning the paternity of one of Rayna’s handled in season 1. Layla Grant (Au- Speaking of needless drama, the ro- are season 1 characters who make a New faces for season 2 include Will daughters shocks and naturally turns brey Peeples), a runner-up of a singing mantic side of the series is the major welcome comeback, as well as some Lexington (Chris Carmack), Gunnar’s his world upside down, although he’s competition, seems to be the talking downfall. It’s inevitable that everyone new talent that shows promise. Scar- house-mate who could make quite an a big enough man to concede that he’s point of Edgehill Records and its CEO starts to have feelings for everyone lett O’Connor (Clare Bowen) and impact on the country charts, as long probably not the best father-figure the Jeff Fordham (Oliver Hudson) which else, but there is too much moody Gunnar Scott (Sam Palladio) have as he keeps his homosexuality hid- young girl could have. could potentially derail Juliet’s tour sulking around to create any compel- broken up; Scarlett is on a potential den and keeps working the ladies on Rayna’s sister, Tandy Hampton (Ju- and album sales. Given how much of ling couples to root for. Not everyone road to stardom, having been taken stage, and Zoey Dalton (Chaley Rose), dith Hoag) is also starting to have a a class A maniuplative bitch that she gels as an ensemble at the moment, under Rayna’s wings and her record Scarlett’s childhood friend who sings more prominent role in the show, as was back in season 1, you might think and there is an odd lack of narrative label, although the glamorous, pub- gospel music, who also has the hots her loyalties are tested when it comes it would be easy to feel no sympathy strength and continuity in certain licity-heavy side of the industry is for Gunnar. all have incredible voices to uncovering the mysteries behind a for the character. But Juliet has a pain- episodes that makes the show seem often too much to handle for a girl and they only get better as they sing a car accident that killed her mother. ful past to tell, and there are softer sporadic and its structure, a mess. So who started out singing in a small cafe as duets forming beautiful harmonies. Was there foul play? And if so, by sides to her otherwise driven, ambi- far everyone is pretty much single, but whilst waitressing. Gunnar has been Let’s not forget about Deacon Clay- whom? tious nature which have the tendency this will no doubt all change come the less lucky: he’s continuing to write bourne (Charles Esten) who we left Juliet thinks she’s got it all - this is to help you look past her icy persona. mid-season episodes. songs although it’s a challenge to get off in the season 1 finale embroiled until she gets a dose of her own medi- Vulnerability reaches Rayna too, as But it’s worth sticking around for back on his feet after such heartbreak. in a drunken fight with his on-again, cine, as yet another new emerging star the aforementioned car accident that the Britton and Pannettiere duo alone. He finds an unlikely ally in Avery Bar- off-again lover Rayna before getting threatens to undermine her success Deacon was involved in also affects Although the two characters aren’t kley (Jonathan Jackson), Scarlett’s ex, involved in a car accident. Rayna was and credibility as an artist who can her. Placed in intensive care, thank- pitted against each other as much as and the two of them bond over writ- driving, Deacon was distracting with truly appeal to the teen market. The fully it doesn’t take long for her to you’d hope, even as individuals they ing and performing, which provides her boozy antics which caused the ever-changing nature of the music make a comeback, although questions are able to compel and move. FRIDAY 08 NOV 25

@feliximperial

FelixImperial TELEVISION New CBS Comedy Shows

ended up as someone similar and is It’s far from a silly show that wants Mom: Season 1 on a path of the 12-step recovery pro- to be offensive for the laughs. In- gramme, whereas Christy‘s daughter stead there are moments of smart Violet (Sadie Calvano) reveals that exploration regarding having to bring she’s pregnant with her idiot boy- up children (Christy has another friend Luke (Spencer Daniels). kid - a younger son named Roscoe History does seem to repeat itself in (Blake Garrett Rosenthal)), as a cash- Television Editor John Park this family, as the three generations of strapped single parent who also needs women who share very similar DNA to lead a life of her own. work to make the best of their less There is also a great use of its guest Whoever thought of the casting here than ideal situations. Janney is full of stars - so far we have had Oscar- is an absolute genius. Allison Janney hilarious one-liners in every single winning Octavia Spencer grace the has been away from the tv screens one of her scenes, Faris does her usual screens with her one stand-alone epi- for far too long after the end of The brilliant work, and together they help sode and Justin Long seems to be in West Wing and Anna Faris who over the dark comedy script come to life. for an arc that should last for more the years has starred in less than stel- Various issues regarding addiction, than a few episodes. lar comedy films, finally lands a role their regrets and past mistakes sur- Thanks to its bold premise and that is worthy of her talent. Bonnie face whenever a mother and daughter deeply flawed characters who have (Janney) is a recovering addict having pairing takes place, and the snarky plenty of crazy alcohol/drug-fuelled experimented with all sorts of things, comedy surrounding such issues stories to tell, Mom is a show that nev- Bonnie’s daughter Christy (Faris) mostly works. er gets boring.

show and mightily succeeding. incapable of taking care of himself The Millers: Season The titular Millers refer to a fam- around the house. ily unit made up of the parents Tom Each week is a look at how this family 1 (Beau Bridges) and Carol (Martin- goes about putting up with one anoth- dale), their children Nathan (Will Ar- er, with conflict mostly arising from nett) and Debbie (Jayma Mays), Deb- the bossy, controlling matriarch who bie‘s significant other Adam (Nelson is always right and will be damned if Franklin), as well as their kid Mikayla anyone has anything else to say about (Eve Moon), with Nathan’s colleague that. Tom wants a divorce from Carol Television Editor John Park Ray (J. B. Smoove) also popping up after all the years of putting up with from time to time. such a monster, and so it’s up to the It’s a well-formed cast of familiar children to somehow keep the peace No this has nothing to do with the names and faces, and the loud, ener- and quiet around their houses. Carol comedy hit of 2013, We’re the Millers. getic and appropriately over-the-top is staying with a recently divorced With The Millers, a tv series which de- Martindale is a real highlight (leave news anchor Nathan who is clearly buted this season, we see Margo Mar- it to her to make all the sex jokes), her favourite child, with Tom living tindale, who has been shown a lot of whereas the more relaxed Bridges with Debbie and her family, although love lately thanks to her remarkable provides the perfect level of disdain this separation hardly ever keeps eve- supporting turns in deadly serious and frustration towards his wife al- ryone apart, and it’s only when the shows like Justified and The Ameri- though having depended on her for so Millers are all in the same room that cans, going for a lead role in a comedy many things, he becomes completely we get plenty of laughs.

his crazy ideas (hence the title), as well one idea and sticking to it, with the The Crazy Ones: as his energy that never runs out, he cast playing around with the same does require some reeling in and tam- theme for several minutes. It depends Season 1 ing by his more grounded, sensible on the hyperactive Williams interact- daughter. ing with various supporting members Fast-talking, dead-on impressions, of the cast to make them well-rounded outstanding improvisation, are all and for the most part they succeed. It within Williams’ firm grasp of the does, at times, have a tendency to go show’s comedy material, although completely overboard, and off-tan- Television Editor John Park he alone doesn’t hog all the spotlight gent, and this method certainly won’t when it comes to delivering the gold. be to everyone’s taste. Some might The world’s favourite vampire slayer find it repetitive and frustrating, but Robin Williams is a comedy god and is rather good at playing for laughs, the range at which the cast smoothly anyone in doubt of his infinite rep- and the rest of the cast, made up of performs is undeniably fun to watch. ertoire and abilities need to check James Wolk (Mad Men, Political Ani- Even at the age of 62, Williams has out his new show. As an advertising mals, Lone Star), Hamish Linklater still got it, and with the show’s full- executive running his own company (The New Adventures of Old Christine, season renewal, bringing the number with his daughter Sydney (Sarah Mi- The Newsroom), and Amanda Setton of episodes of the first season up to chelle Gellar), Simon Roberts is a bit (The Mindy Project, Gossip Girl) are 22, there is every opportunity here of a wacky, impulsive, eccentric piece all excellent. for him to go wild and hopefully the of work - which is what makes him so The show relies heavily on extended best moments wil make the cut and be good at his job. His endless creativity, sequences of comedy starting with shown on the television screens. 26 FRIDAY 08 NOV Editor: Maximilian Eggl, Yong Wen Chua, Osama Awara TECHNOLOGY technology.felix@imperial. ac.uk 10 Things Smartphones Slaughtered Next Murderer in our series: finding the ultimate Culprit

people can’t even control themselves those ancient things that have physi- you a grainy picture of themselves that old indestructible Nokia that Maximiliawn Eggl longer than 5 minutes, without cal keys) when you could have a su- butt-naked, but all in all this is a you used to use? Exactly! Nowa- Technology Editor compulsively checking their phone. per-duper awesome califragilisticex- newer phenomenon. Yet not many days you can’t wait to throw that pialidocious smartphone that does are aware of the dangers that can one year old trash out, to get the everything you could ever imagine?!? happen when you send something absolutely newest piece of tech. fter last weeks Osama MP3 players so private to anyone, so beware! Awara’s “10 things the Internet has (AKA iPods) The magic of a slaughtered”, I decided The Beauty of to write something portrait inA a similar vein, except of course These little gadgets were the bee's Shakespearean exchanging one vital invention knees back in the day, ready to on (internet) of our lives for something one hand wow your friends with awe- In the past portraits were reserved for prose equally important (smartphones). So some tracks that you never listened the rich and wealthy. Even with the here goes (in no particular order). to, and on the other croon to you on invention of cameras, people would the bus with the tracks that absolute- not have wasted their money, time Wen u abbreviate everythin it aint ly embarrassed you. However with or film (hopefully) on taking a selfie. hard 2 understand that spelling skills Dedicated hand- the advent of the smartphone, the However with the ease of snapping are fading, innit? Well after you read device that could do all of the above a quick pic introduced by smart- through that cancer-inducing sen- My New Precious! held gaming AND make phone calls, the future of phones, this inhibition of blatant tences, consider the impact that text the one-track gadgets was doomed. self-love has been eroded. Nowadays speak is having on English. Textspeak biologyoftechnology.com you can't escape the outstretched is endemic in todays youth. Some of Apart from a few notable exceptions arm and pouty lips/tensed muscles these even use textspeak for official Talking to real (I am looking at you Pokémon), that accompany many a selfie on documents and emails. Yes you may smartphone gaming has dominated any social media sites that you visit. argue it is faster to use, and quicker biological entities this market. It has lead to the decline to read. However when you look at of Sony’s PSP line, as well as curb- all the beauty that the English lan- ing any future dedicated consoles guage possesses, and then imagine it Afraid of having to actually talk to that may have arisen. I mean, why all written in numbers, single letters people, but still in need of not feel- shell out several hundred pounds on and completely wrong spelling its ing so alone in the world? Then you something that can only play games enough to really become depressed. are not the only one at imperial! that also cost 30-40 pounds a pop, Since your smartphone becomes Enter the smartphone. Snapchat, Apple when you could use that handy tel- iMessage, Facebook messenger, ephone of yours, spend 5 quid and Doomed, DOOOOOOMED I tell you! Treasuring your among many others, have circum- get the same amount of pleasure. vented the actual need to look into In fact some people suspect smart- possessions someone’s eyes, while still allow- phones will have a bigger impact Waiting ing you to fulfil your daily commu- on the gaming industry as a whole! nication quota. This easy road has patiently Mona Lisa obsolete every year, it is not hard to manifested itself in more and more #nofilter #monaswag #yololisa imagine why people in general tend ridiculous ways. Smartphones are to update theirs on an almost an- banned from dinner tables, which Why wait when everything is just Saying: No I nual basis. However this lies in stark then feature stony silence. Groups right in your pocket? What is the contrast to the time when durabil- of friends will often be seen all star- point of waiting to see a message, don’t want to ity and longevity of a gadget were ing at their smartphones instead email or tweet when you could see prized, and the affection that grew of actually having fun. Surely soon your messages within a matter of send this picture towards something that you used enough any form of communication seconds? In fact why doesn't eve- over the years. I mean remember will be replaced by a 4-5 inch screen. ryone answer right away? With the of my genitalia advent of smartphones and constant availability, any need to wait neces- to this random NVIDIA sary or unnecessary is questioned. stranger I just Self control Feature phones met

With everything that these little Kind of obvious isn’t it? Why have a wonder machines have to offer right boring old feature phone (you know Come on, lets face it, how many of at your fingertips, some people find you never attempted to sext with it hard to keep their instant gratifica- someone? Yeah I thought so. The tion monkey in check. Want to check promised instant gratification, and that hilarious YouTube video in the assurances of deleted messages have middle of a lecture? Sure go ahead! all to often led some of us astray. Want to buy something on amazon? However before the dawn of the Go ahead, your smartphone can do smartphone, sexting was almost un- PCWORLD it! In fact smartphones have man- heard of. Yes once in a while you did #Totallyhavingfun, like me and my friends are being so funny and talkative!!! aged to kill this off so well, that some get that pervert who tried to send FRIDAY 08 NOV 27

@feliximperial

FelixImperial TECHNOLOGY Google Releases the Nexus 5

affordable unlocked and contract-free famously, Google left out Long Term availability issues, and the order with Google Hangouts which now also Yong Wen Chua price of £299. The Nexus 5 has clearly Evolution (LTE), or 4G support in website promptly crashed under the handles text. There are also various Technology Editor taken the best of the Nexus 4, and the Nexus 4. This has been rectified weight of its own popularity, the same under the hood changes to the OS that corrected some of its glaring faults. in the Nexus 5- it will allow you to does not seem to be the case for the are of more interest to developers, The Nexus 4 was a great device use it on any LTE network around Nexus 5. Initial orders made via the such as the changing of the SELinux fter many weeks of one year ago for its price. As Felix the world, save for North America. Play Store have already been shipped, mode from permissive to enforcing. speculations, leaks, had wrote about it a year ago, the The Nexus 4 also came with and should arrive within the week. Google’s Nexus programme and overwhelming Nexus 4 boasted some of the best limited storage options, namely only Customers can also buy them from began with the Nexus One as a anticipation, Google hardware you could get at that 8 GB and 16 GB. The Nexus 5 has retailers like Carphone Warehouse. means of setting benchmarks for has finally taken the time. However, it also fell short in also rectified this by providing 16 Alongside the debut of the Nexus 5 other phone manufacturers to wrapsA off their new flagship phone, three areas, all of which Google has and 32 GB options. Finally, while is a new Android version dubbed Kit work towards. Although the first the Nexus 5. addressed in the Nexus 5. Most (in) the Nexus 4 suffered from horrible Kat. Kit Kat is another minor update phone wasn’t exactly a commercial The Nexus 5 is, like the Nexus 4, to the operating system (OS), with success, subsequent releases have manufactured by LG and modelled some minor visual changes allowing garnered a dedicated fan-base. after one of their flagship phones, applications to turn the status bar This is quite evident when the US and comes in black and white. and the navigation bar transparent. Play Store started reporting multiple- The Nexus 5 is modelled after the Kit Kat also continues the Google- weeks of waiting for people who LG G2. Thankfully, the Nexus 5 has fying of the OS by turning some of the want to order the phone late for all ditched the rear buttons on the G2 core parts of the OS into Google apps the models. In the UK, at the time of (which LG touts as innovation), for that can be updated via the Play Store, writing, the black coloured models more practical button placements. The as mentioned in a previous article are all quoted as being shipped in phone comes with 2 GB of RAM, and (How Google Updated Android 2-3 weeks time, while the white a Qualcomm Snapdragon 800 system- without Updating Android). The home coloured models are still available. on-chip (SoC), which is pretty much screen of Kit Kat is now essentially a If you are looking for a new the best SoC from Qualcomm you Google variant of the Facebook Home smartphone, and are unwilling to be can get on a smartphone at the time concept, making Google Search tied down to a contract, the Nexus of release. It boasts a 4.95-inch 1080p power many aspects of the interface. 5 is the phone for you. For the price, screen with a staggering 444 pixels per The old Android texting app has also you can get excellent hardware that no Google.CoM inch. All of these are available for a very been removed, in favour of integration other phone in the market can offer.

Maximilian Eggl Yong Wen Chua Osama Awara Technology Editors 28 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editor: Carol Ann Cheah, Michael Yat Kit Chung FOOD [email protected] Some Like It Hot...well, not all A round-up on some of the world’s foodie vices under threat - some luxurious, some less so Pumpkin Cake

Now that Halloween’s been and gone, you might have plenty of leftover pumpkin or might have decided to buy a few of them on the cheap on impulse. Pumpkin is a perfect winter veggie that’s chock-full of versatility; it lends itself to lovely hearty soups which are great for this cold weather.

It seems to have been quite a Facebook sharing of reports citing to poor weather in both Spain and So don’t bin it all just yet - here’s a quick recipe that makes the most of tumultuous year in foodie arena, how cocoa butter is becoming scarcer Greece (specifically Halkidiki olives), this yummy ingredient, a great treat for you and your friends! with many food items under threat. by the day, largely due to dwindling with olive distributors around the Just this Halloween, fans of the production in Ghana and the Ivory world citing that suppliers were highly For the cake global cult favourite Sriracha hot Coast caused by poor weather, plus likely to hike prices up by at least half. 300g self-raising flour sauce (affectionately known as the fact cocoa trees take up to 4 years 300g light muscovado sugar Rooster Sauce to some) breathed a before producing cocoa beans so some GOAT’S CHEESE 3 tsp mixed spice sigh of relief when a judge denied a farmers have thrown in the towel as Way back in 2009/2010, the 2 tsp bicarbonate of soda temporary restraining order against the wait is “too long.” Netherlands, one of the biggest 175g sultanas the manufacturing company, Huy Some reports even cite predictions producers of goat’s cheese had to ½ tsp salt Fong Foods. that the world’s supply of cocoa will cull thousands of pregnant ewes to 4 eggs, beaten The plaintiffs? Residents ofrun out in about seven years, which curb the spread of Q disease which 200g butter, melted Irwindale, California; where Huy would mean that in order to keep our could spread to humans. The effects zest 1 orange Fong’s new processing plant is located. supermarket shelves stocked with of this cull can still be felt now, with 1 tbsp orange juice Lame food pun notwithstanding, grab-and-go treats, manufacturers cheese production having dwindled 500g (peeled weight) pumpkin or butternut squash flesh, grated the city’s main beef with Huy Fong would have to start falling back on both there and in France; demand, *Protip: You can substitute with carrot for other times of the year! was that the spicy scent of ground vegetable fat substitutions (palm oil), however, has steadily increased since peppers due to the company’s chilli- bulking bars out with more nut and then as goat’s cheese has become For drenching and frosting processing season from Sept to Dec fruit etc. More bubbles in the “Aero more fashionable amongst consumers 200g pack soft cheese is a public nuisance in violation of chocolate, now with more bubbles and the catering trade. 85g butter, softened the municipal code. Some nearby and less chocolate. A few years ago, at Experts predict that this Christmas 100g icing sugar, sifted residents had complained of burning least you knew all of the solid stuff you which is traditionally when cheese zest 1 orange and juice of half eyes and throats, and had sued in were getting in your bar was actual sales have been known to skyrocket, order to shut down production which chocolate. some people are just going to have to Method would have seen the price of Sriracha do without. Heat oven to 180C. Butter and line a 30 x 20cm baking or small sauce escalate due to massive demand WINE roasting tin with baking parzchment. Put the flour, sugar, spice, outstripping supply. The company Poor weather has also affected And one item that came back from bicarbonate of soda, sultanas and salt into a large bowl and stir to aren’t yet in the clear, the judge has vineyard harvests (ergo wine the dead. combine. Beat the eggs into the melted butter, stir in the orange zest set Nov 22 for a further hearing. By production) in Europe over the last TWINKIES and juice, then mix with the dry ingredients till combined. Stir in the then however, chilli processing will few years, and the increase in wine Yes, we know it’s not quite a real pumpkin. Pour the batter into the tin and bake for 30 mins, or until have been complete which means consumption in China and the US cake/food item amongst purists. It’s golden and springy to the touch. this year’s sauce production is safe. seems to have put pressure on supply. only fair that they do get a mention for Although the plant’s long-term future The world went into a bit of a panic the bizarreness that happened when To make the frosting, beat together the cheese, butter, icing sugar, is unclear. when Morgan Stanley published a they became scarce, $5 boxes of the orange zest and 1 tsp of the juice till smooth and creamy, then set Sriracha wasn’t the only thing under report saying that its research had stuff were hoarded when production aside in the fridge. When the cake is done, cool for 5 mins then turn shortage threat this year. Below we deduced a worldwide shortfall of up to ceased due to makers Hostess Foods it onto a cooling rack. Prick it all over with a skewer and drizzle with take a look at some of the food items 300 million cases in 2012. going bankrupt. One week before the rest of the orange juice while still warm. Leave to cool completely. which came under the microscope this Thankfully 2013’s harvest was they returned to store shelves being year due to potential shortage .and we predicted to be a strong one, and produced under new ownership, If you like, trim the edges of the cake. Give the frosting a quick beat also look at one cult foodie treat which subsequent harvests have also been an eBay user was trying to auction to loosen, then, using a palette knife, spread over the top of the cake was brought back from the dead, shall predicted to be on the up which off some expired Twinkies as rare in peaks and swirls. If you’re making the cake ahead of time, keep it we say. is welcome news, after years of collectibles for the price of $15,000, in the fridge then take out as many pieces as you want 30 mins or so mediocrity and cruddy weather for “one that can be passed down the before serving. Will keep, covered, for up to 3 days in the fridge. (But CHOCOLATE farmers. family and will only gain in value.” I’m pretty sure it will all be eaten before then!) Doubtless a good few of you will have OLIVES Michael Chung, Food Editor. Adapted from BBC Good Food seen some panicked/sentimental The popular bar snack also fell victim FRIDAY 08 NOV 29

@feliximperial FelixImperial MEDIA

The PhotoSoc Exhibition

This week’s photo was taken by James Dunn at the Battersea Park Fireworks Display, as part of a PhotoSoc trip. STOIC shorts

way that means you make something Peter Brook pretty cool at the same time. STOIC Secretary Over the weekend we expect little sleep, panicked location hunting and lots of last minuteness, however this STOIC (Student Television of will all be tempered by the fact that Imperial College) is revving up for we’ll be making a few awesome, funny, another year: we’ve got a smorgasbord clever – and possibly a bit silly – short of short film scripts in the works, but films. the thing that is going to really kick off If you are interested in acting, the creative side of things will be the directing, writing, cinematography, 48 Hours Film Competition. It will be scoring music, recording voice, a collaboration between STOIC and lighting, editing , colour grading, DramSoc, the perfect combination of producing, foley artistry, special filmmakers raring to write and shoot effects, set design, costume design, and a troop of actors fresh out of visual effects or focus pulling (you get screen acting workshops. the point) this is the competition to This competition is set on the sign up to and STOIC is the society common ‘you have a weekend, you for you. have a camera and somewhere to edit, The competition is being run from now GO!’ formula. It’s an opportunity 19:30 Friday 8th Novemeber – 19:30 for everyone to see a part of the 10th November and teams decided movie making process, and chance on at 19:30 in the STOIC studio. The for people who have experience in the finished products will be on youtube. technical and creative sides to share com/STOICTV so you can see the their abilities and teach people in a valiant efforts made this weekend! A Global Village

Picked up the October issue of A beforehand email aglobalvillage@ Global Village yet? Don’t miss our imperial.ac.uk to come along to an leading experts’ analysis of the open editorial meeting. renaissance in space exploration, the emergence of e-democracy movements and the current surge in Topics for the upcoming January biotech investment. issue include the Virtual Citizen, Drug Delivery Systems and 21st Really enjoyed the October issue? Century Jetsetting. Deadlines are fast Take that a step further by becoming approaching so get in touch soon if a member of the editorial team of you are interested in submitting an Imperial’s journal on International article go to www.aglobalvillage.org Affairs. Let us know your interest submissions for more information.

IC Radio’s weekly punk rock show, Check the most up-to-date featuring music from the whole punk schedule, listen live or catch rock spectrum up at any time on: wednesday 13 november www.icradio.com

14:00 – 15:00 The RockSoc Radio Rampage IC Radio Schedule Great music brought to you by the Rocksoc Community! Show Review: friday 8 november and stories with awesome tunes (and 20:00 – 21:00 The Eclectic sometimes a complimentary laughing Ectoplasm 18:00 – 19:00 Versace Palace Stuart’s Deep Bath 20:00 – 21:00 First House on fit!) An eclectic mix of anything and Blackstreet everything. The best music on 21:00 – 22:00 Harveen Hayer’s Listen back at: 18:00 – 19:00 Radio Goo Goo ICRadio every Monday evening. Hour icradio.com/shows/stuartsbath sunday 10 november 22:00 – 23:00 Predrinking with monday 11 november 21:00 – 22:00 Stuart’s Deep Bath Charles and Ellie Normally water shouldn’t be anywhere 15:00 – 17:00 The National Stuart and Lee deliver the perfect An in depth look at steam engines in near your radio, but let Stuart take Student Radio Chart Show 14:00 – 15:00 Presidential Address soundtrack for a Monday night bath the 19th century. the risk by settling into his bath of The chart show by students across the The two presidents off their view on with a mix of indie pop, dream pop tunes, not as weird as you’d think. UK with unsigned and chart music - all things musical, entertainment and and ambient music thursday 14 november Combining indie pop, dream pop and Hosted by a different student station debacles ambient music, Stuart and Lee create every week! tuesday 12 november 21:00 – 22:00 The AMS Night Bus a show of music you may not have 19:00 – 20:00 All Mod Cons Loveable hipsters bring you a range heard of, but you wish you had done 17:00 – 18:00 The Happy Hour If you like music, frequent technical 16:00 – 17:00 Relax-ay-voo from indie rock to hip hop to emo and can’t imagine how you hadn’t. Join the Sunday fun with problems and unusual pan-european to, um, atmospheric black metal, Music includes, ‘The Last Minute’ by happymichael! Random cool features accents, this is the show for you! 17:00 – 18:00 The IC Punk Rock Show following a theme each week. Josephine and Elliot Smith. 30 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editor: Nida Mahmud CLUBS & SOCS [email protected]

Charity Week The OSC climb the Queen’s

Ben Fernando Tower and play football Charity Editor Overseas Societies Committee detail what they have

or those of you who don’t know, Charity got up to this week Week is the Islamic Society’s fundraising week. Last year they raised over £45,000 and this year they hope to raise even more, with 100% of profits going to the ave you ever wondered Imperial OSC Facebook group for Fpeople who need them most – with nothing what it would be like more updates on our events and how subtracted for administration or overhead costs. to climb our iconic to get a privileged tour! Queen’s Tower? The greatest 5-a-side football It’s hard to appreciate the scale on which this You’ll finally have tournament is back! The OSC invites occurs – universities across the world, from Hyour chance next Wednesday – the you all to our very own World Cup on Australia to Canada take part, and 14 universities OSC (that is, the Overseas Societies Saturday 23rd November at 12.30pm. from London alone. Usman Siddiqui is this year’s Committee) are fundraising for their This year we have booked longer London coordinator, and one of our very own annual International Night (mark slots; so everyone will have more time medics. He explains that the money is allocated your diaries for the 6th of March) on the pitch! to projects that are voted on by the volunteers and will be offering tours to visitors International Night (I-Night) is the We expect international society at a national round-up dinner. Last year projects from 12-2pm. Krispy Kreme donuts flagship event showcasing the best of members to team up and display included rebuilding schools damaged by flooding and Hummingbird Bakery cupcakes the 40+ country societies at Imperial their football talents. The event is in Pakistan, treating 3000 malnourished children will be available as well; so come College. guaranteed to be great fun and there in Somalia and providing vocational training for along to Queens Lawn on the 13th of Not only is this a spectacular are fantastic prizes! orphans in Kenya. November! performance held at our very own There will be 16 teams so spaces are Great Hall, but it’s also a night of limited! Teams will be of 5 players and Obviously some might be worried that cultural interaction, entertainment a maximum of 3 substitutes. fundraising through a religious body could lead with a truly international perspective Profits will go to charity and towards to discrimination, on both ends. However, the complete with a raffle and a selection funding future OSC events. organisers make very clear that this will not be of delectable snacks on the night. an issue – both Muslims and non-Muslims help This year, our theme is Beyond Important: to reserve a place, reply to run the events, and the funding is allocated Barriers, and we hope to make this to [email protected] asap by without any religious considerations. The only year’s I-Night the best yet with your the 8th november (today) with your limitation is that the money must be spent on support! society name and contact details of helping orphans or otherwise needy children, So, keep your eyes peeled on the sports secretary/captain. which seems sensible enough.

The most incredible thing about charity week is perhaps the way in which it is run. Islamic Relief, one of the charities that makes up the UK’s Disasters Emergency Committee, provides all Imperial Rocks! the materials needed for the week so that none of the donations are spent on overheads, and handles all the financials. In the ten years that casting lesser teams aside, to bring of sour skittles, in what club secretary Charity Week has been running, they have raised Thomas Heaven you, second place! Claiming for the Will Foster described as his “sourest over £2 million and have managed to orchestrate Clubs and Socs writer Imperial vaults; a medium priced victory yet”. That’ll be first place next this entire endeavour without overheads and bottle of Sainsbury’s Shiraz and a bag time please. without paying any staff salaries, which I think is absolutely amazing. What’s more, they didn’t Do you recognise this band logo? Well even set out with the intention of raising as you should have come to the quiz much money as possible, rather just uniting their then! There were 20 points for getting younger members under some worthwhile cause. this bad boy (It’s Goat’s Ass Trumpet). Whilst the Felix readers may be well [email protected] versed in the fortunes of Imperial College’s competitive Rugby, Football or synchronised swimming teams, readers of the sports section may have no idea that every year a far more important showdown happens between the universities of London. So it was that this Tuesday members of the Imperial rocksoc stepped onto unholy ground at the UCL Union to take part in their annual rock and metal pub quiz. Presented to them was a confusing Tell people about your selection of questions. The musical round, to test their ears. Club or Society via Felix. The picture round, to test their eyes. The band logo round, to test their brand recognition. General For more info email knowledge, to test their, well, primarily knowledge of penguins this year. [email protected] Team Imperial valiantly waded through this malaise of trivia, FRIDAY 08 NOV 31

@feliximperial

FelixImperial GSU

Your Representation A Short Letter

The role of the GSU Academic and Welfare Officers (AWOs) is very similar to the one of your freshly elected course and year Reps, with the difference that they represent their entire faculty’s interests at the College level! If you feel that an issue you have raised may be relevant Andreas Thomik to other courses/departments or is not being properly addressed, get in touch with your AWO! He will know how to best bring the issue Graduate Students Union President forward and can leverage the GSU’s strong links to the College’s administration to bring about the changes which matter to you.

No clue who your AWO is? Have a look below! ear Postgraduate Students,

If you have been at Imperial for a while now, you may have noticed that the Graduate Students’ Association D (GSA) has now become the Graduate Students’ Union (GSU) to better reflect our status Mohammad Hassan Ruxandra Luca (Business) Marta Sawicka (Life Sciences) of representative body. You are automatically a Ahmadzadeh (Engineering) member, no matter whether you are studying Hi, I’m Ruxandra. I am a second Hi, my name is Marta and for you MSc, MRes or PhD. This change in name Hi everyone, I am currently year PhD student, specialising I am your Academic and has not changed our mission: we are still here to a second year PhD student in consumer behaviour. As Welfare Officer for Life represent your opinion in College and to provide within the Biomechanics group AWO of the Business School, Sciences. I am a 2nd year you with various opportunities to distract yourself at Bioengineering department. I am interested in helping PhD student in the Division from work and meet new people. In our group we work hard students feel comfortable of Molecular Biosciences, on very interesting research during their time here, whether and I have been at Imperial Nuha Yassin (Medicine) This year, I am pleased to announce that we topics to improve the quality they are at the beginning of since my undergraduate have an incredibly ambitious and hard-working of healthcare. My research their programme or nearing studies. As your AWO, I will team with equally ambitious goals. On the non- focus is on validation of human the end. I will be looking after represent all postgraduate academic side, you can look forward to a range of biomechanical models, I am issues regarding both the students in the faculty and do fun events spaced regularly throughout the year: trying to develop a method different Master’s programmes my best to provide a smooth a monthly pub quiz, movie nights and discounted to translate the models into and the Doctoral programme. communication between you theatre trips are only a small sample of what you clinical application and make In my time as AWO, my aim and the College. As your welfare can expect. These will always be well advertised them usable as a clinical tool. is to get students involved is a priority for the College, I here in Felix, on our Facebook page and our I am also the Bioengineering in social activities across the will try to help you resolving newsletter – so keep an eye out for anything departmental representative programmes and disciplines. your problems and concerns. which may interest you! and this year’s Academic and I think it is helpful to get If you have any questions, need Welfare Officer (AWO) for the feedback from students as they more information or simply However, a great student experience cannot be faculty of engineering. I am recognise the need to learn or want to share some ideas, obtained solely through social opportunities. representing the postgraduate share something. This means please feel free to email me. It means having no extra worries at work, and students and try to make that I will be happy to answer someone to turn to should things go bad. We want sure their voices are heard at questions as they come up and Max (Physical Sciences) to ensure that you get the same opportunities, the Imperial College Committees. to listen to suggestions. same representation, no matter whether you are My role as AWO is to based at South Kensington or any other of the collate information regarding many Imperial Campuses. Your voice is important, academic experience from and we will endeavour to make it heard loud and the Faculty of Engineering clear on all relevant College committees; because representatives, initiate change we can only remain one of the best universities on the back of feedback in the world if we protect the student experience and ensure the quality of all from being sacrificed for pure academic success. postgraduate-facing services. I look forward to seeing you at one of our events!

Andreas Thomik A New Place for Postgrads GSU President P.S. Keep Saturday 7th December free for this n the 21st December of h-bar1, the new home for taught and activities areas which students can book free year’s Post Grad Christmas Party! There will last year, the much beloved research postgraduate students and staff of charge to host small events. be mulled wine, mince pies and snow! Wear a Holland Club in the seeking to unwind after a hard day’s work. But of course, what would the h-bar be Christmassy jumper and come celebrate with basement of the Sherfield Yesterday’s opening revealed a brand new if it didn’t host the Holland Club’s most us. Location and more details to be announced building closed its doors for space with more than twice the capacity of faithful and regular guest: our monthly shortly - keep an eye on your emails. Othe last time – to the big disappointment of the former Holland Club. New tables, new GSU Pub Quiz, held every last Thursday of the numerous postgraduate students and lights, new floor, new counter – even brand the month, which had to take a temporary members of staff who enjoyed having a place new bathrooms! – nothing has been left to home in The Union Bar over the past year. to have a decently priced pint in walking its original state. Some people will certainly To celebrate the opening of the new pub, distance of their lecture theatres and offices. regret the more classic, typical pub feeling we are, exceptionally, putting on a special A lot of thirsty postgraduate students were of the former bar, but equally many will be edition of our pub quiz two weeks early – left to battle with undergraduates over a happy to see the old carpet gone and a (new) that’s next week already! A GSU Christmas place at the counter at FiveSixEight or shell ventilation system installed. party is also planned on the venues early out a few extra pounds (and risk running Taught postgraduate students have a December. We look forward to seeing you into their supervisor/lecturer) at one of the particular reason to rejoice: in addition to all there to thoroughly test the new facilities pubs around campus. the beer, crisps and pizza offered by the and have a brilliant evening together. These dark days have now thankfully former Holland Club, the new h-bar now has Cheers to that! come to an end. a fully functional kitchen which will provide Your GSU Committee 2013/14 After 11 months of intense and hard a warm lunchtime service, particularly work and unexpected challenges, the space aimed at MSc students who had formerly no 1 Because let’s face it: even at Imperial, no formerly occupied by the Holland Club dedicated space to go to. In addition to that, one was ever going to say “Let’s go for a pint has been completely renovated to become there is a newly refurbished basement with at the Reduced Planck Constant Pub” 32 FRIDAY 08 NOV

HANGMAN [email protected]

This Week In The Past EDITORIALISM Scotland, ignore such a mean-spirited now on. attempt on my life by those two Pope- And if we run out, go to Spain. There loving, incense-sniffing Catho’s - are fuck-loads there. The Historian King James I Catesby and Fawkes? Let us not let these idolatry, Hangman Contributor Guest Editor In fact, it would be highly un-royal indulgence-purchasing, guilt-ridden of me not to burn as many bloody bastards have their sordid way with Catholics as I can get my hands on. our parliaments. arliament, 1605 - I’d even burn my own mother, Mary So here is my advice to you, my Following a heinous ‘Queen’ of ‘Scots’, at this point. subjects, crack out the dry wood; get attempt on this regal However, simply burning effigies your hands on a tinder-box; storm the 1998 - Capital punishment is abolished for all editor’s life on Tuesday, on this so-called Bonfire Night is not nearest Catholic’s house and tie the remaining capital offences leaving our poor this Royal Highness insists enough. From now on, every year, treasonous fuckers to the pyre. editor to scrounge around for work. Pwe should be burning more Catholics. I, your Sire, insist that you burn real Not so cocky now, Mr Pope. All glory How can I, the King of England and Catholics every November 5th from to Martin Luther and the Protestants. Felix in the past. 1994 - The element Darmstadtium is created Mystery because there aren’t enough fucking elements. Getting in my fucking way, ruining my meals. Bloody chemistry. The Hangman “Think you Hangman Editor can calculate more accurate You probably can’t translate this can 1944 - Franklin D Roosevelt reelected for a fourth horoscope? you? time in the kind of bending of constitutional Email hangman. If you can should rules that Hangman can get on board with. should probably come felix@imperial. right for us! We need people liek you, smart, ac.uk and give self-confident, calm, it a go!” collected, crass and bloody amazing. 1917 - Bolsheviks storm the Winter Palace. The Well, let;s be honest, morons think it’s October when it was very maybe only one of those is clearly November. I mean, didn’t they hear all true, but hey, desperate times. Consider this my the fireworks and see all the sparklers. pity plea, come to me and give me things.

Did you know I once ate a tree? Yeah, those were my CivEng days, well, it 1688 - William of Orange swindles his way seems like a very long across England. Indeed, so successful was his time now. Anyhow, now I’m a recovering engineer, swindling that everyone promptly forgot that instead I’m spending my this a foreign invasion of the country. time walking around

forever alone in parks and photobombing pictures for the lols. No, really, I’ve just got far to much 1605 - Gunpowder Plot confirms what wel time, which is why this

all already believed about Catholics. Namely article is so weird. You that they are extremely crafty and never to be tend to get a bit funny in the head after a while trusted. when you spend to long is the basement. Did you “Want to inflct want ice cream, father? But the dogs say that the your lack of milk is curdling in the 1530 - St Felix’s Flood destroys the city of literary skill winter sun. Oh, and the upon the other voices are telling Reimerswaal in The Netherlands going to show me to bring beer to the world?” Email Felix office, lots of what happens when you cross the Great Editor beer. Joseph Letts. All hail the Great Editor hangman. felix@imperial. ac.uk and give it a go!” Hangman Editor In Employment Scandal

fied, but ignored simply because they ing at Parliament all week. Have you Timothy McSweeny existed.” heard the voices of 2000 fictional peo- Hangman Reporter The Fictional Writers Union ple? It’s deafening, let me assure you.” (FWU) claims that the reason that When questioned, Hang- angman has come under so many fictional people are hired is man replied, “McSweeney, he takes fire for exclusively using due to a lack of regulation of fictional a pen and paper and he gets it done. fictional reporters,rights and that fictional reporters are Unlike these real reporters, fictionals prompting a review of on 0-hour contracts. Timothy Mc- don’t spend all day worrying about Hangman employment Sweeney, the FWU rep for Hangman, their social media presence, whatever Hpolicy. A series of damning said: that is”. complaints arose from real reporters “Of course we want equal “They actually research sto- who were refused work. These pay and benefits. What this all boils ries properly. They don’t just copy I mean look at Pope Frnacis. Sure, he acts all liberal now, cited numerous reporters who were down to is respect. Hopefully this from a press release handed to them but as soon as you’ve relaxed your guard, that’s when he’ll refused interview on the grounds highlights the struggle of the fiction- by ICU, for example. Why, just the set alight to the gunpowder under your parliament. that Hangman only hires fictionally. al. Naturally, we don’t face the same other night, Tim stayed in the Felix of- The civil rights group Real problems as reallie, but we have fic- fice until 11pm to finish a story.” Pride condemned the hiring policy, tional issues, like lluminati putting “And when he was done, I locked “We strongly object to the hiring poli- ricin in our water”. him in the back room. You can’t trust cy at Hangman. Many reporters we’ve “We are not going to take these fictional types, they’ll steal any- spoken to have been very well quali- this lying down. We will be protest- thing that’s not nailed down.” FRIDAY 08 NOV 33

@feliximperial

FelixImperial HANGMAN

Middle Class Creepy mannequin Panics Over the turnip successfully Wine Shortage Hangman’s Finest College News Source scaring off anti- “Don’t Make Us Drink Kentish Wine” Nation Confused Over science spirits/ Immigrants “Is There Nothing Left To Unconditionally Hate?” he Nation was reportedly confused this week after a study by UCL t The Grapes of Wrath - A middle class highlighted that immigrants man gets angry with the vines. from the European ollowing the news this week TEconomic Area (EEA) make a net that there was a global wine contribution to the British economy. shortage last year, middle “Who are we supposed to hate now?” class-types up and down said numerous UK citizens following the country were sent into a the revelations of the report. Fwild, wine-buying frenzy. “Are you seriously telling us that downright lazy?” said a vast number of The middle class everywhere plead- some of these people contribute the United Kingdom of Great Britain ed with winemakers and vines across meaningfully?” and Northern Ireland. the world to increase their produc- “Great. Now we have to be more The news has come as a particular tion. measured when we see a non-Brit nuisance to home students at Imperial “Please don’t make us drink wine working” The majority of the populace College London, who, for some time produced in this country” added. have been secretly hoping that they’re “There’s no sun here, it’’ll be gastly” The news that those from the EEA hate of the foreign students at the In a desperate attempt to get the were contributing 34% more in taxes university was justified by some kind of wine flowing again, some middle class than they were claiming in benefits was statistical evidence. members flew to france and proceed- met with low groans from across the “Oh great, you’re telling me that all ed to shout at vines up and down the country. those French people in South Ken are country. “For fuck’s sake, can’t we just fucking actually helping our country.? Fan- “Please,if you have any mercy, find hate these fuckers already?” fucking-tastic” said one student. it within yourselves to grow those ex- “I mean they’re foreign, surely “Bloody UCL always looking for any tra grapes” “Otherwise, what will the they must be inferior, underhand or opportunity to fuck us over” Johnson’s next door say?” CANCER GEMINI T AURU VIRGO ARIES LEO S

This week, you are am- This week, quite amused by This week, tired of the halloween This week, on a pleasant stroll Today a fresher will come up to Today you will read the politics bushed by the bedraggled the hamster horoscopes of candy you have been eating for a through Exhibition road, you you asking for directions. You section of Felix. Amazed by Felix editor in the JCR. Fed last week, you decide to buy week, you decide to have one fi- see a hideous chocolatey be- will give the poor kid wrong di- the quality of the articles, you up of thinking up stupid horo- yourself a furry companion. nal mega meal. You pour a whole ing from hell munching on rections because you think its will decide to write for them scopes himself, he ties you However it turns out this little bucket of sweets (including wrap- tourists. As a chemistry stu- funny. This evil deed of yours too. This will subsequently re- up and forces you to write buddy, off the back of hal- pers) into a cauldron and start stir- dent you are unfazed (you see will haunt you for life. sult in good health and fortune Hangman horoscopes under loween, is actually channel- ring away. What you didn’t know demonic carbon chains all the in the future. threat of torture. After you try ing the soul of jack the ripper, was that this sugary combination time), and as you walk buy take to think of something funny, and goes on a vicious killing gives birth to a hideous demon a lick of the being’s coarse sug- you...QUICK HE’S OUT EAT- spree ending up with your from the netherworld, who once ary hide. Hmmmm, burnt skin

ING!! IN THE BACK OF THE lecturer. Well at least no more he hardens sufficiently, jumps out and caramel, your favourite!CA AQUARIU

FELIX OFFICE! SAVE ME! coursework, right? and eats you. Oh, the irony.S SCORPIO AGI P RICORN PISCES TT LIBRA ARIU S S

The misalignment of planets You enter the Felix office You pick up a hamster and You look up from your desk to You decide to start playing The machines in Sainsbury’s will result in bad fortune for dressed as the grim reaper. You walk towards the wall. Oh, look at the class you’re sup- pokémon. After spending piss you off to no end. you. A young man will come leave with a thing, a kinky police wait, the hamster thing was last posed to be teaching. You £200 quid on a 3DS and the At least you didn’t have to use up to you offering you a ticket officer and a twenty-something week. Late again. You look up see a student reading Felix in game you then complete the your AK, today must have been for the next Ministry of Sound year old man. Funnily enough and your lecturer is staring you the class instead of doing the game in a week. You would a good day. event and you will accept it. that’s enough to tip you over the right in the face. Whoops! problem sheet. Oh, well, you’ll have had better value for edge. You start reaping the souls get them back in the exams, money if you’d literally set of the young, you don’t live for their handwriting is fairly distin- fire to it in the street. At least long. YDLFL citve. watching the arts grads scrabble for £5 notes would provide some amusement. 34 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Puzzles Commanders: Kingshuk Dasadhikari, PUZZLES Oliver Price [email protected]

Crossword Clues Sudoku Crossword Each row, column, and 3 x 3 box must contain all the numbers from 1 to 9. That’s all. Enjoy... Across: Harder: 1. Attention holding (11) 8. tough (anagram) (5) 9. spectrum (7) 11. Ragged (8) 12. spoiled child (4) 13. Nose Juror (anagram) – tem- porary resident (9) 17. Rational ability (4) 18. Elegant (8) 20. Funny (7) 22. West African country, capital Porto Novo (5) 23. Magic word (11)

Down:

2. Cancels (7) 3. Written on cake for Alice (3,2) 4. Defamation (7) Nonogram 5. point (3) Killer: 6. Breakfast style (11) 7. Confoederatio Helvetica (11) No clues! Instead, the numbers in each cage must add up to the The lengths of runs of shaded squares in each row and each 10. Aristocrat (5) number in the top left. Numbers cannot be repeated in a cage. Tips: column are given. Squares can only be shaded or unshad- 14. haven (5) The numbers in each box, row and column must add up to 45 ed. Solve the puzzle to unveil a pretty picture. 15. Without synthetics (7) Look for cages with only one possible combination e.g. a two wide 16. purifier (7) cage total 3 must contain 1 and 2 . 19. hooded snake (5) 21. Computer storage format (3)

Have a puzzle to share?

Email it to us and we’ll put it in the next issue!

Want this weeks solutions? Bonus puzzles?

Email us if you can’t stand the thought of waiting.

FUCWIT Last Week’s Solutions League Scoring Puzzles in by Tues.: 1 point nickwp 16.5 Puzzles in by Jia Choo 14 Thurs.: Yufan Zhao 11 0.5 point Adam Stewart 8.5 Graded scoring Helix 8 for difficult Juliette Chupin 6.5 crosswords, Emma and Ben 4 even if Gabriel Quek 4 incomplete. WJ 2 FRIDAY 08 NOV 35

@feliximperial

FelixImperial CAREERS Small, Medium, Large – What size is right for you?

only about 10% will obtain work in a substantial cohorts of graduates at this trajectory in recent years. Start The Careers Service FTSE100 company so it makes sense to one time you may find you are the Ups can be a great experience for Careers Imperial College London assume that many more graduates are only new graduate working for a some but they are possibly not for finding work in smaller organisations. small company. As such it will be up the risk averse among us. If you Events to you to establish yourself and plan are interested in developing your Working for an SME - the for your training and development entrepreneurial skills and learning Workshop o, we are not talking Pros? in a more proactive way than on an how a business develops then being 11 November, 12:30 – 14:00 about T shirts or even established graduate scheme. This in at the start with a company can Preparing For Assessment Centres skinny lattes; this SMEs often work on a different does not mean that you will not get be hugely rewarding. Consider what - Presentation Skills is about the size of recruitment cycle to large corporates. the support you need and in fact it you have to offer a Start Up company. Apply via Jobs Live company you work for. It is more common for them to might be more personally tailored but Is it business acumen, technical NIt is all too easy to find yourself only recruit on an ‘as required’ basis so there is no doubt that you will have to knowledge, a specific practical skill Seminar considering the major multinationals opportunities can appear throughout take more responsibility for making or work experience background? Also 11 November, 16:15 – 17:15 as potential employers. This is partly the year with more immediate the most of any opportunities. Unlike think through what they have to offer Assessment Centres because they recruit in volume and start times. This is a benefit for larger graduate schemes where you you in terms of career development, as a result have budgets to spend on those who wish to delay their job may well have set rotations around skills and knowledge enhancement Workshop marketing their opportunities and hunting until the spring or summer different departments and your and reward. Be cautious of the Equity 12 November, 12:30 – 14:00 raising their profile on campus. But when many of the deadlines have experience determined for the first Share only offer with no basic salary. Preparing for Assessment Centres they are not the only option and in fact passed for larger companies. SMEs one to two years in an SME it will be This is common among Start Ups and – In-Tray / E-tray Exercises the data shows that, nationally, more may have a structured application more likely that you need to network is a particularly risky proposition. You graduates obtain their first job with an process but often they are open to with colleagues to gain opportunities may feel that it is worth the gamble Seminar SME than with a major corporate. So a direct speculative approach too. to develop your experience. This and of course for some the rewards in 12 November, 16:15 – 17:15 & let’s investigate the pros and cons of This can work particularly well for approach suits some but not all so the long run can be fantastic but also 14 November, 16:15 – 17:15 what might be right for you. those interested in internships. Also think through what you will be most consider the percentage of small Start Create a Winning CV SMEs are perhaps more open to comfortable with. Ups who do not survive into their What do we mean by an SME? internship applications from earlier Another slight downside is that second or third year. It is perhaps Lunchtime Careers Talk year groups and not always restricting smaller companies are more likely to safer to negotiate at least a small basic 12 November, 13:00 – 13:50 opportunities to penultimate year have a less structured salary package salary along with some potential for An overview of finance in a FMCG students. so again you may need to take the shared equity in the longer term. Each company Because SMEs have fewer initiative in establishing how and year nationally about 4.5% of new employees you can expect to work in a when your pay will be reviewed. If graduates set up their own businesses Workshop close knit, perhaps more collaborative you prove your worth and have the immediately after graduation. This 13 November, 12:30 – 14:00 environment with possibly more confidence then this need not be a is a relatively small percentage and Group Mock Interview access to senior management than in disadvantage and in fact could lead to possibly reflects the fact that although larger organisations as it is common bigger earnings in the long run. many graduates harbour the thought Seminar for managers in smaller companies of being their own boss most feel it 13 November, 16:15 – 17:15 to be more involved in the day to How do you find the is safer to gain some experience of Effective Applications day operation of the company. You companies? the business world at someone else’s may find a more open and supportive expense first before launching into Personality Test Workshop In a recent survey of undergraduates atmosphere with less hierarchy. In a SMEs are far less likely to make a self-employment. Getting involved 13 November, 13:15 – 17:00 36% of UK students reported that they smaller organisation your contribution splash on campus but they are there in business competitions and Myers Briggs Type Indicator did not know what an SME was. There may be much more visible which can and just take a little more effort to entrepreneurial student challenges is (MBTI) is some debate about what constitutes allow you to feel a greater sense of seek out. Even at the big careers a good way to test out your aptitude Book in person at Careers Service an SME and the definition varies achievement and recognition of your fairs you will be surprised how many for developing a business. Details of - £7 fee and £10 deposit required across countries and continents but work, helping you feel more engaged of the companies attending fall into business challenges notified to us at (correct change only!) general in Europe the three broad with the aims of the company. Smaller the SME category, particularly in Imperial can be found at: parameters can be defined as: organisations may also provide a the Technology sector where SMEs imperial.ac.uk/careers/ug/ Employer-Led Skills Workshop • Micro-entities are more flexible working environment abound. JobsLive is a good starting competitions 13 November, 13:30 – 15:30 companies with up to 10 employees with opportunities to work across point where more than half of the Some challenges may also be notified Mock Assessment Centre (CIMA) (often but not always Start-Ups) different projects and to determine 7300 companies registered employ direct to your department. As part Book in person at Careers Service • Small companies with up to your trajectory within the company. less than 250 staff and just over 3000 of our Wednesday afternoon skills - £10 deposit required (correct 50 workers The companies tend by their nature have under fifty employees. sessions we also run employer led change only!) • Medium-sized companies to be more agile and fast moving and There are also two useful sections business games which can help have up to 250 employees. so can be a great experience in fast on the Careers Service website on develop your skills. Details can be Workshop tracking your career but you need to how to research companies and links found on JobsLive. 14 November, 12:30 – 14:00 The Association of Graduate develop resilience and self-confidence to resources: If you are interested in setting up Preparing For Assessment Centres Recruiters (AGR) annual survey of to ensure that you keep up and seize imperial.ac.uk/careers/ug/research your own business then further advice - Group Activities graduate vacancies typically estimated the benefits. and resources can be found at: approximately 20,000 opportunities imperial.ac.uk/careers/resources/ www.imperial.ac.uk/careers/ug/ Lunchtime Careers Talk provided by AGR member companies. But what are the cons? weblinks/researchjobs/companies start 14 November, 13:00 – 13:50 These are mainly, although not There is also support and links to Science & Engineering Careers in exclusively large employers who The slightly less formal structure What about Start Ups? useful resources available from the Space related Industries recruit in volume so there is a big might not suit everyone. If you Entrepreneur Hub of the Business gap between this and the number are hoping for a well-defined role Start Ups by definition tend to School at: Careers Fair of graduates each year. Out of the and clear cut route for your career be small businesses. Some remain imperial.ac.uk/entrepreneurship 14 November, 17:00 – 19:30 300,000 or so undergraduate students then an SME might not suit you. small and some grow into giants and I.T. & Technology Careers Fair who graduate in the UK each year Unlike larger companies who recruit many familiar names have followed The Careers Service 36 FRIDAY 08 NOV

Editor: Kunal Wagle SPORT [email protected] IC Football serenely brush aside UCL 3-0 Peter Nugent reports as Imperial College’s 1st XI show UCL how it’s done

in the first half; instead he laid it off to Captain Robinson who, with his back to goal, dropped a shoulder like it was hot, sent the defender to soccer camp before turning the other way and burying the ball in to the back of the net. 2-0 up but the match, you’ll be pleased to hear, was far from over. A solid defensive display from IC meant that UCL were reduced to shots from far, one of those came off their post and they tried their best to score, fortunately for us the pressure was almost too great but after successfully hitting the post a second time within the space of a second the attack was quelled by Diaz. Captain Robinson came off shortly after, some say it was a pulled groin from the pre match warm up, others say it was a twisted ankle, but either way Shamsi made an appearance, initially with a snood that he was told to either take it off or down it. Luckily the ref never saw his bathrobe in the post match showers. Charrel also made an appearance, and with a good touch and making some tough tackles he was impressive on his 1s debut; however a second injury meant that Crawford had to be called in to action. The responsible sober giant was not too keen to play; some say he had the flu, but rumour has it he was keen to make a quick getaway to catch the school run. Regardless of his post match activity, he played a solid role in seeing the n Wednesday 30 the solitary confinement prison cell of into the options menu on FIFA and the goal. Dominated. Cries of sheer game out that was wrapped up with October, we had a changing rooms. turned off cards altogether, but 9 cases surprise erupted around Harlington Murphy running half the pitch past big day ahead of us. Regardless of the above we got out of assault later and Hill was finally seeing Nielsen so far up the pitch, numerous defenders, with decoy runs A wade to Nando’s to early on to the 3G, the Megan Fox brandished a yellow card, something after his FIFA-esque goal celebrations made by Shamsi and Nugent playing eat all of their chicken of university football grounds, and that is almost as regular to him as he had to receive treatment on the a key role in diverting the attention Oand take over their top floor, followed started our traditional pre-match brushing his teeth twice daily. UCL side-lines for a shock nosebleed, who of the defenders. Murphy played a by ACC. Matchboxes would be routine of high knees and high ankles. finally worked out which way they would have thought? sumptuous one-two off their keeper’s thrown, pints would be downed and After what seemed to be an eternity, were shooting and put some pressure IC went in at half time 1-0 up, in hands and forced the ball in to the crap costumes would be destroyed on UCL decided to turn up, clearly having on our goal; it was at this point case you mysteriously skipped down back of the net, not the only thing he site. spent most of their morning debating Bofarull stopped packing his suitcase to the third paragraph. We knew we forces in on a Wednesday. Before all that promise though, whether or not to actually make and brushing his brilliant Pantene had to keep up the intensity, and we At a 3-0 whitewash, the game was there was a football match to be the journey to Harlington by public Pro-V mop of hair and came to life, had to press as a team when they kept over and IC had come out on top. It played (believe it or not). It wasn’t transport just so they could receive a making a superb close range save to it at the back because they were about was a convincing victory in a must win just any old football match either; well measured on-pitch beating. They tip the ball over the bar for a corner. as comfortable at the back as James BUCS match. The only variable of the this was a grudge match with our had a really quick warm up, probably We cleared the corner to the right ‘Frosstyyyyyy’ Frost is with a drunken, day had gone our way, Nando’s and less intellectual neighbours (all other equivalent to how long they last in the wing where Murphy pushed on with steaming iNuge screaming in his face ACC to follow were sure bets to top London unis), it was an absolute must bedroom, and were thrust (wahey) the ball, Nielsen who was originally from close quarters on a Wednesday off possibly the best day in history. If win game that would see us go 2nd in on to the pitch where we had been on the front post overlapped with night after a few Blackthorns. Carslberg did match days… our BUCS league that we had just been waiting for nearly an hour. We were more energy than a ferret on heat. The second half kicked off and it promoted to. Nothing was going to absolutely all over them in the first 20 Somewhere in that attack the ball was was all about IC, Maizonnier summed plan straight from the off, when one of minutes and they had no idea what to lost and it came to the UCL centre up the industrial side of the game ICUAFC is sponsored by: our centre backs Omar ‘I’m the Fastest do with the ball, back who decided, as the last man, it working hard to assist goal scorer Man in IC Without Ever Leaving 2nd Something just wasn’t clicking for was an ideal time to pull off a Cruyff Nielsen at the back. Beasley and Hill Gear’ Amjad pulled out injured with a IC, Abou Ela-Bourquin was looking turn. Nielsen, who was still running worked tirelessly in the midfield calf strain, probably from all that rapid for the long diagonal but it just wasn’t from the front post, nicked in and while Kolawole Ayanwale effortlessly jogging. Rumours suggested it was due coming off. The deadlock was almost pinched the ball off him, putting him provided the link between the midfield to an unorthodox warm up proposed broken when Captain Robinson was one on one with their keeper. and Captain Robinson. The hard work by Captain Robinson, involving his put through on goal; but their CB had Nielsen, utterly unaccustomed with all paid off when Murphy got down the girlfriend, however Captain Robinson other ideas and absolutely destroyed one on one contact, couldn’t look him left wing with his back to goal, Nugent was conveniently ‘missing’ during the him from behind. It was definitely in the eyes and decided to look at the overlapped in a blur of blue and red, pre-match warm up and unable to inside the penalty area but the referee far post instead and casually stroked Murphy played a back heel to Nugent comment. The second blow was dealt absolutely bottled it and gave a free the ball into the near corner with the who played it through to Ayanwale when we received the news of having kick and no card. It was at this point outside of his boot, leaving the keeper in the penalty box. Ayanwale had to get changed at Little Harlington, where Hill decided the ref had gone stranded, legs open, in the middle of forced a save from a similar position FRIDAY 08 NOV 37

@feliximperial

FelixImperial SPORT IC Windsurfing give encouraging performance

straight back out onto the water, say, “Doctor Extraordinaire” Tom was Sam Cooper despite the massive wind, to hone his out on the water before we could even Eagles squeak past Royal Windsurfer skills, showed particularly strong form. complain about putting on our wet In the meantime, the intermediates wetsuits and he proceeded to blister Holloway in close game continued to push themselves, leading up and down at the most ferocious his weekend, Imperial to several rescues and some epic kit speed while we watched the pros go dressed and spirits were rekindled, Windsurfing Clubbreakages! Exhausted but happy, we from the shore. which quickly refocused Imperial’s descended on Cornwall were shooed off the water and headed Defying the forecast, the wind Stefan Bauer team and saw them clawing back for Aussie Kiss, the largest back to the campsite. calmed a little in time for the racing. Handball Secretary goal after goal. Some questionable windsurfing festival in Once there, the fancy dress madness Sadly, it was still too strong for the refereeing and some sloppy fin- Tthe UK and highlight of the student began. The overall theme for the party beginners to race – a massive pity ishing meant that at half time, the windsurfing calendar. With teams was Jury Summons as it was AK12. as our beginners had shown some The Imperial Eagles Handball Eagles found themselves one goal coming from as far as Glasgow, the Having considered and discarded really considerable progress over Club has started their new cam- behind their opponents at 15:14. pressure was on to make it down in going as snowmen (“Just ice!”) on the the weekend and we had high hopes paign with a hard-fought victory After a detailed analysis at half- time for the Friday night party. With basis that we’d have been explaining it of getting some medal winners! over newcomers Royal Holloway time and a change in their defen- the fastest, most efficient rush hour all evening, Imperial had shot gunned Progressing to the team racing, Tom, on Saturday, and are now amongst sive set-up, which saw Royal Hol- avoidance scheme in club history, we the sub-theme of “The Mob” and as President Sam and first-time racer the favourites to win the first ever loway’s dangerous right-handed made record time out of London and such it was an extremely smart bunch Izzy took to the water to show off their LUSL Handball League. winger cut-off or alternatively the were encountering new and exciting of trilby-ed, suspendered gangsters skills. Despite a dramatic beginning Over the summer, all London- left-back man marked in order to forms of debauchery by midnight. and molls who weaved their way down where a cheeky side attack from based University Handball Clubs slow their attacking waves, Impe- On Saturday morning, there was a to the party. Avoiding the Di-Octo Liverpool trapped him downwind, had put a lot of work into a com- rial finally found their way into the perfect beginner wind. We sent our bong (or not) as character dictated, the Sam whipped away, leaving the ex- bined LUSL application in order game. The goal deficit was quickly beginners out to join the 156 newbies dancing and caravan hopping began Club President (who abandoned us for to play amongst like-minded clubs turned into a 2-goal lead and with hitting the water for the first time, and lasted well into the morning. Exeter this year) gasping in his wake. and further the whole sports’ ap- Stefan Bauer in goal finally find- accompanied by the club instructors By Sunday morning, excitement had Tom continued in the same vein, plication to the BUCS network. ing his form, Royal Holloway soon to supervise, for what must be the reached fever pitch. The Daily Herald bringing us up to a nail-biting second Last weekend marked the first found themselves trailing by 4 biggest mass lesson in the UK! had informed us that this would be place with an awesome plane out and match day of the newly established goals. Following a quick simulator session, the windiest day for 25 years (Minibus a clean gybe. LUSL Men’s Handball Division and A highly debatable call by the ref- the beginners went out in force master Matt’s mum had texted him Unfortunately, Izzy was unable to Imperial was set to face Royal Hol- eree saw Imperials’ David HoSch- and were soon sailing up and down to be careful driving in the gale force hold position following an unlucky loway for the first time ever. mi sent off with 20minutes to play brilliantly with only a few tows back winds) we were ready to hit the lake! gybe and we finished in a still- After a rather long journey to the and threw the hosts from north upwind. As the afternoon wore on, Nursing sore heads, we bossed the respectable fifth place. As the clouds SPORTHOUSE in Barking, a ven- London a life-line. However, unlike the wind began to build and build. We caravan clear up before piling into the started to close over, we dragged ue that serves as a painful remind- in previous years, the Eagles kept rigged our sails and got down to the minibus. When we arrived, the gusts Mayliss and Will off the water and er of the failure that is the Olympic their cool, continued to be clinical beach in short order, with every single were so strong that you could see packed up to head home, refreshed Legacy, the Eagles saw their op- in front of goal and held on to their club member making it out onto the them raising half-foot ripples across and rejuvenated after a wonderful position for the first time and had lead. Royal Holloway tried to open water. Beginner Sam, who headed the surface of the lake. Needless to weekend away. to come to the realisation that this their little box of tricks, but their game would not be the push-over attempts to unnerve Imperial were ICU WINDSURFING they were expecting for the first to no avail. After 60 minutes the game of the season. What Royal final score was 27:29 for Imperial. Holloway was lacking in experi- Club President Rishi De-Kayne ence, they more than compensated was ecstatic after the encounter: for with individual class. Their “What an exciting game! This is francophone comrades on the left why we went through all the trou- wing and the right back positions ble of setting up the Uni League. It’s would prove to be difficult to con- great to play competitive matches trol and their counter-attacking against teams with the same stand- style was very efficient. ard and mindset. Admittedly, this From the first attack onwards the was a very close game, but every- game was very heated and hotly one in the team really worked hard contested and after 14 minutes and stayed focused when it mat- played, the Eagles found them- tered. If we keep playing like this, I selves trailing with 7:4 goals, lead- fancy our chances this season.” ing to the first team time-out. The opponent’s tactical set-up was ad- ICU WIND S URFING

ICU HANDBALL 38 FRIDAY 08 NOV 3

Editor: Kunal Wagle SPORT [email protected]

My First Triathlon: Hever Castle Half-Ironman Rebecca Rowe gives her account as Imperial record good times against 5000

signed up to do the gauntlet with much more aggressive and sprint off Imperial Triathlon Club because the front. We first swam in a straight IC 7s steal victory from St George’s (a) it was half price for students, line out into the lake, and then turned and (b) it’s at a castle! I don’t think into a narrow channel for the second it is really the done thing to do a half of the 1.9 km course, through the in 6-5 thriller Ihalf ironman as your first triathlon but River Eden and around the 16-acre ‘Gersty’ Gerstenberg at right-back with the sloppiness from early in the I thought it was a great idea because island. The crowd support from the Julian Iacoponi sparked the team back on track: first half returning. A couple of close I would be able to relax and get into banks and bridges was amazing and I timing the ball well and challenging calls in defence, including a goal-line it over the day, rather than be rushing was soon being hauled out of the water 7th XI Football Player cleanly, with Vivek Dava in midfield block from Kingson Opasina, only around in a sprint. It turned out fine and running back towards transition. asserting himself on the match. The delayed the inevitable St. George’s for me, so my first piece of advice is to Pit had a great swim and was already On Wednesday 30th October, with ever-reliable Phil Gantner struck a equaliser. recommend doing whatever distance in T1 when I got there, simultaneously the chill of Halloween whistling lovely through-ball to Myles Jarvis’ At 4-4, the game again turned, you like the sound of as your first race. encouraging me and getting out on his through the drab skies of autumnal piercing cross-pitch run, which with its end-to-end nature almost The Hever Castle Triathlon festival bike at lightning speed. I took transi- London, the 7s gathered for what was followed by a slotted finish. 3-2 ironically not actually coming to an was alive with over 5,000 competitors tion at a more leisurely pace – I was turned out to be, appropriately, a down at halftime, we had broken end. A cleanly struck ball from Julian aged between 7 and 70 years old fully aware it would be a long day and I thriller. back and were eager to serve up into the feet of Myles resulted in a enjoying a race to complement their wanted to stay as comfy and relaxed as Our journey to the ground that equaliser, and then some. slow toe-poke attempt toward the level, from the children’s sprint to the possible to make sure I finished. After mirrored the match in some At the change of ends – all triceps goalkeeper. Vitally, this shot was at Gauntlet half ironman, all around the 15 minutes, an energy bar and a quick ways, but not in others: a long crucially still intact – player- least on target, and with the keeper’s stunning grounds and countryside. hug from Josh I was on my way to the time spent on the tram lines manager-captain Jamie Goodier, attempt at a save horrifically feeble, The race course was lined by thousands 90km bike course. seemed appropriate given the who was just a piece of chewing it trickled in. Trick or treat? This was of supportive spectators cheering This was the part I was most wor- tennis-like back-and-forth nature gum away from emulating the certainly a treat. on everyone taking part. Piece this ried about, having ridden a road bike (and indeed score) of the game, classic SAF look, sporting a thick The standard again fell from the together with the live music, food, only four times ever before the race I although the number of stops black coat; made no substitutions, 7s, with the opposition’s best player castle grounds and entertainment was definitely venturing into the un- along that journey did not reflect with the only change coming in the taking matters into his own hands and you’ve got a killer race day. David known here. Within about 5 km I had the equivalent number achieved by referee position- a role appointed (or should I say feet?). Their stellar McNamee, ranked 13th in the world, already bounced my bike bottle out of either defence. to a reluctant but gallant Rob ‘The no.4 ran around four less stellar 7s, and Ironman reigning champion, Lucy its holder on a pothole leaving me very After an unexpectedly Fresher’ Harris. and scored with a cultured cross- Gossage, were the course favourites thirsty until the first water station at 2nd.professional warm up – with extra The second period frenzied goal finish. Five-all- this match on the new half iron distance racing 20 km, where I surprised the volun- focus on those key triceps stretches into an abuse-gargling affair; needed a tiebreaker. alongside many first timers and teers by coming to a complete halt to – the team started strongly, with treacherous tackles teetering With the game deteriorating university teams. pick up a new water bottle because I Myles Jarvis and Sam ‘Dzeko’ on the terminal were scattered in quality faster than a Kingson I hadn’t done much training so I was wasn’t confident enough to do it rid- Duffield linking up well in attack. from the two teams, elevating the 100m, Myles again stepped up after feeling a bit nervous when my alarm ing along like everyone else. It was a An unfortunate non-decision temperature of this testing tête- some neat interplay with Julian went off at 5:30am on the morning beautiful hilly course with great views by the referee (who conveniently à-tête from moderate to intense. on the left wing and provided a of the big day. I clambered out of my and the weather was perfect so I set- was their player) on a clear down- Sebastian Gosden certainly threatening cross toward the back tent and wandered down to transition tled in and really enjoyed it. Towards the-line push on Luke Looney led deserves acclaim for his positively post. A looming Luke Looney, who and the race briefing with Josh (my the end, the low riding position be- to their first attack of the match, Etonian attitude to abuse he laboured nobly all game, launched boyfriend and supporter for the day), came very painful to maintain and it which, after a sloppily missed received as linesman: “Please himself towards the ball and lashed Pit Pillatsch, and Nick Brierley (fel- was my back rather than my legs that tackle, led to the first goal. One- gentlemen, you’re all simply the header towards goal. The lax low members of Imperial Triathlon thanked me as I finally reached T2 love St. George’s. embarrassing yourselves” – indeed goalkeeper had little hope as he Club). After a briefing on safety and and ran back to my rack, 5 hours after Heads still up, the 7s rallied it could not have been phrased groped at the air, leaving the ball lying the course it was time to get going. I had left it. and started to move toward more elegantly. in the net and the 7s in the driver’s The mist cleared across the lake I only spent 10 minutes in transi- the opposition net with greater Almost every decision caused seat (despite not actually having and a hot air balloon rose up over the tion this time, and got out on to the frequency and Phil Gantner controversy, with St. George’s a qualified minibus driver). With course, giving those spectators what run feeling good. Maybe I felt a bit too showing his class in midfield. feeling ‘robbed’ by the referee the score at 6-5, and the tiebreaker can only be imagined as the prime good as I accidently ran my first mile Great movement from a throw-in when a penalty was awarded – swinging our way, the final whistle race course view. in 7 minutes, which is about my 5 km led to a crisp pass from Phil across legitimately – for handball off an blew. Game, set and match. Close to 300 Gauntlet competitors pace (so it was a good thing I looked the six-yard box for Julian Iacoponi attacking Luke Looney header, a All triceps still nice and limber, we entered the water awaiting the cannon at my watch and slowed down be- to place carefully through the legs great spot by the hawkeyed fresher. shook hands with the opposition, to go off. I said goodbye to Pit and fore I completely destroyed my legs). of the keeper with a firm side-foot Myles Jarvis stepped up to take it, and thanked the numerous referees. Nick and as instructed, slid down From the 4th mile, I had begun walk- finish. One-all, no breaks yet. but after sliding the ball weakly A hard fought war of a game the slimy steps on my bum into the ing about half of each mile depending After a couple of missed toward the middle of the goal… he behind us, Nandos and ACC night ornamental lake, where you could where the hills were. The course was chances, complacency set in scored. As previously mentioned, awaited to reward the battle-weary actually walk out to the middle on a lovely with two castles and lots of nice and the opposition began to there were indeed very few stops in #SocialSevens. Peace out. carpet of weeds! I made for the start gardens and fields so it felt like no time dominate proceedings, bouncing this game. ICUAFC is sponsored by: line, feeling too nervous to be cold, until I was onto the last 5 km. With the back well. Again, a set of poorly Three-all, the game back on and positioned myself at the back to volunteers shouting great encourage- missed tackles led to a (legitimate serve, we began to serve up some one side of the group because I didn’t ment such as “You look… er… OK!” this time) penalty, which the St. improved football ourselves. Matt want to be swum over by all the super- and “You’re not last!” I jogged home, George’s striker aced passed the Taylor moving into centre-back fast swimmers when the gun went off. even adding a wobbly sprint finish at palms of 7s keeper Zain ‘Dodgeball’ provided stability. A slick one- As it turned out I spent pretty much the end to clock 8:26. I was tired, but Abbas. Perhaps such ball-dodging two move between Dzeko and all of the swim trying to pass the I’d had a brilliant day out and I was practice didn’t come in handy in Julian sliced open the St. George’s people in front; next time I need to be thrilled to have finished the course this situation? A few minutes later, defence, with a Van Persie-esque which was much tougher, and more slack marking off a corner led to left foot boom into the near top scenic than I was expecting. their centre-back – one of those corner from the 4th team first-year IC TRIATHLON Pit and Nick both had great races men who look more at home in a banking the seventh goal, ever- with 5:20 and 5:44 finishes, not too far pub than on a football pitch – who crucial in any football match as behind the top of the field with even- headed in. At 3-1 for St. George’s, every fan must know. tual winner Karl Alexander setting a the 7s needed to buck the trend 4-3 up and with Matt Taylor time of 04:40:31, and David McNamee and break back. moving into the referee position, IC TRIATHLON coming on 20 seconds after to take Some strong tackles by Phil the 7’s standard dropped again, FRIDAY 08 NOV 39

@feliximperial

FelixImperial SPORT IC Netball: Ballin’ in Brighton Harriet Rumgay reports as Imperial enjoy a game against Sussex.

ere at Imperial College we heard “Imperial Netball…” Oops! Immortals Netball HQ we had Anyway, this set our spirits high for high hopes for our first the night ahead and we made our way BUCS Home Fixtures ever freshers’ tour. With over to the seafront to grab some fish slay the Nancy Edge as the club’s & chips and hit the pier! Whoever HTour Secretary, and a trip to Brighton thought the waltzes and dodgems 13th November 2013 in the midst, it was bound to be a great were a good idea after a full meal must Dragons weekend for all! However, no freshers have been mad; however the girls kept BADMINTON netball signed up so it was going to be a it all down and decided to go for a committee bonding session if nothing paddle in the sea… MENs 1st VS hertfordshire womens 4th vs london met 26-0 time tba 13:30 else! So most of the girls just went to dip harrow club teddington sports ground After bad news about Club Captain their toes in the water… not our social Toni Semmence’s ankle the same Secretaries! Georgie and Zoe Hudson mens 3rd (medics) vs mens 2nd womens 7th (medics) vs Reading Henry Badham time tba 14:45 week, treasurer Harriet Rumgay was leapt straight in, after confirming venue tba teddington sports ground Immortals Press Secretary all too ready to cancel the trip as on that Georgie is actually a qualified tour-eve it was looking like we would life guard, and cooled off in the huge womens 2nd (medics) vs kcl womens 1st (medics) vs only have 6 players to take to Sussex waves. Then it was time to find the time tba portsmouth venue tba 14:30 Uni. After much peer pressure by club hostel and get ready for our night on ethos member Emily Rolfe, our treasurer the town! basketball was persuaded to go ahead with the After finding out a little bit more womens 6th vs surrey 13:30 mens 2nd (medics) vs trip, especially after having called up about each other we set off to meet teddington sports ground the hostel in Brighton to see about the girls from Sussex Uni for a bit of west london 16:00 womens 2nd vs middlesex getting a refund on the rooms and a hoe down with some bunnies. Soon ethos being told “no refunds… but you enough, someone at the Halloween 13:00 Ethos can still cancel if you want?” swiftly party downstairs threw a stink bomb womens 1st vs surrey 18:00 replying with “we’ll keep all the rooms so we took it as our cue to leave. “We womens 5th (medics) vs ethos then!” didn’t want to stay at your Yates’s east london 14:45 On the morning of the tour our anyway!” fencing teddington sports ground treasurer had calmed down enough to We moved on to Funfair where IC AMERICAN FOOTBALL take the driver’s seat, only to find the Georgie was mistaken for a model mens 3rd vs essex rugby union engine warning light staring straight and had her picture taken with some 13:00 ethos fter a preseason win at her. Throwing caution to the wind randoms, and soon enough we were womens 1st vs portsmouth against Sussex Saxons, we climbed aboard and set off for all knackered. Our Club Captain got 14:00 A the Immortals were ready Brighton in style, all thanks to Surf told to put her shoes back on or leave football harlington sports ground to take on Westminster Dragons Soc who left their Cornwall sing-a- (classy lady). Treasurer was being a mens 2nd (medics) vs kent mens 4th vs kcl 14:00 at Harlington in their first regular long CDs in the glove compartment responsible driver so we decided it 14:00 teddington sports ground season game. with a few pre-tour mix-tapes. Thanks was time to go. About 20 minutes later harlington sports ground The first half opened with guys! the Sussex Uni girls finally finished mens 4th (medics) vs reading big drives up the field from the The traffic was horrendous. So their goodbyes and we braced the mens 5th (medics) vs westminster 14:00 teddington sports ground Immortals, and the Dragons were the drivers. With many cut-ins gale force winds and rain for the short 14:00 being reduced to punting away and close encounters, we took to the sprint back to the hostel. teddington sports ground mens 3rd vs kent possession. The scoring was bus lane a lot more than we would With the clocks having gone back 14:00 opened by Emanuel Olagbaju who have liked. With “GET OUT OF MY an hour it was way too early to call it hockey harlington sports ground broke several tackles to rush in BUS LANE” a common scream from a night so we popped to the nearest mens 2nd (medics) vs from 25-yards. the driver’s seat, it was not looking kebab shop for some grub. Sponsor hertfordshire squash Hutchinson continued to stop good for our match in 2 hours’ time. secretary Ella Mårtenson used time tba the Dragons’ pass game whilst We finally hit the motorway where, her persuasive skills in securing a venue tba mens 1st vs portsmouth 14:00 Guillaume Fontan stopped the sadly, someone had hit something pretty big deal with her garlic mayo; mens 4th (medics) vs mens 3rd ethos run. The rookie quarterback, Toby else causing huge delays coming into meanwhile our fixtures secretary time tba Sinclair, then snuck into the end Brighton. After a wrong-turn or 2 we Laura Kor absolutely demolished her venue tba mens 3rd vs essex zone from 1-yard, and with the arrived an hour late for our matches, burger, whereas Georgie smeared hers 16:30 womens 4th (medics) vs ethos 2-point conversion completed by however the Sussex Uni girls were all over her face, hands and the table… east london Duncan MacKinnon the lead was more than happy to see us and we got It was definitely time for bed. time tba table tennis 14-0 going into half time. straight into game-play. After a few hours’ shutweye we were indian gymkhana The strong opening continued Somehow the Club Captain’s ankle up early to pick at the “continental” mens 2nd vs Kent mens 1st vs essex 16:30 into the second half. The Dragons had miraculously recovered as she breakfast and get back in the minibus. 13:30 ethos tried to catch out the Immortals took to playing C like a duck to water. We made it to London in good time harlington sports ground with an onside kick, but luckily With the tour secretary choosing after some excellent eco-driving from womens 3rd vs canterbury tennis Charlie Edwardson was in position the team’s positions, and everyone the Treasurer- always thinking of 15:00 to recover the ball. Sinclair rushed switching anyway, we found out a the club’s money, obviously- and just harlington sports ground MENS 3rd vs east london in for another score, which was couple of our keepers were actually before the storm hit! time tba followed by a goal line stop by the pretty good shooters, a couple of our All in all we had a great time in mens 6th (medics) vs mens 5th venue tba Immortal’s defense. shooters were pretty good defenders, Brighton and would like to thank the 16:30 harlington sports ground The win was sealed when veteran and that Emily Rolfe was just good at Sussex Uni girls for their hospitality, volleyball Tino Millar caught a 30-yard pass everything! and everyone who came on tour for lacrosse mens 1st vs surrey from Joe. The Immortals’ defence After our matches we set off to the making it a success! TIME TBA made another stop and the hard- beach. On the way social secretary We have also gained a new womens 2nd vs canterbury VENUE TBA fought game was over. Next week Georgie Weston showed her social committee member as what would 14:00 harlington sports ground womens 1st vs brunel the Immortals travel to Greenwich skills in getting us a shout out on be honorary secretary, but we already TIME TBA Mariners for what promises to be Radio 1, though we didn’t really know have one of those, so she can be our VENUE TBA another exciting game. what it said as we all screamed when legendary secretary- Emily Rolfe! “Keep the SPORT Cat Free”

08/11/13 INSIDE Issue 1559 felixonline.co.uk Football with tennis scoring? IC win In “tie-breaker” Premier League Honous even Predictions in Double

James White Header Football Columnist Chris Carter gives his account.

Man United v Arsenal (Sunday 4:10pm, Sky Sports 1)

What contrasting starts to the sea- son these two teams have had. The signing of Mezut Ozil has brought much-needed attacking nous to Arsene Wenger’s outfit, whereas Marouane Fellaini is fast becoming a transfer flop. For Arsenal it is all about maintaining their current form – their run of matches between now and Christmas is unenviable and they mustn’t let their performances slip as they have in recent years. Meanwhile, United’s title challenge is only still alive because Man City and Chelsea have been so inconsistent. But be- ACTION IMAGES cause of that I think they will want SEAN DEMPSEY / PA WIRE the win more and there were certainly Sunday. IC BASEBALL a lot of positives to take from their Prediction: 1-1 It’s hard to see where Crystal Pal- The Imperial Falcons made a prom- Imperial, as UCL’s new inexperienced strong show against Fulham. ace’s next point is going to come from, ising start to their season, splitting a pitcher (it seemed the 50-Year-Old Prediction: 2-1 Norwich v West Ham let alone their next win. It should be friendly double-header against UCL. Man from last year had retired) gave (Saturday 5:30pm, Sky Sports 1) comfortable for the Toffees who are After a 7-2 loss in Game 1, Imperial up 9 runs in the top of the first, as al- Sunderland v Man City quietly impressing this season. rallied to take Game 2 20-12, with an most the entire Falcons batting line- (Sunday 2:05pm, Sky Sports 1) Norwich suffered a battering at Man Prediction: 0-2 impressive batting performance. up got on base. In the UCL inning, City last week but yet again their per- The first game started promisingly Imperial brought on Vincent “Demon There were precious few signs of formance deserved better. They badly for Imperial, as UCL failed to score Pitcher” Li, who reduced UCL to only the bounce we were all expecting need a win and they have an oppor- Liverpool v Fulham in their first inning, following some three runs. In the freezing cold and from Sunderland at Hull last week tunity to get it here against the Ham- accurate pitching by Zack Wang and driving rain, Imperial piled on the after their derby victory against New- mers, who still have no fit strikers. This is a home banker if there ever a spectacular leaping catch by rookie pressure in the top of the second in- castle. By contrast, City claimed their Prediction: 1-0 was one. Liverpool have the best strike right-fielder Stephane Mangeon. Af- nings, adding another 8 runs after a biggest ever Premier League win partnership in the division, whereas ter General Manager Matt Bidwell got number of walks and some good base against Norwich last week and for Best of the rest Fulham are consistently terrible away. hit by the first pitch of the Imperial in- running. them it is all about producing those (Saturday 3pm unless stated) You just hope for Martin Jol’s sake this nings, Zack hit a double to bring Matt The Falcons gave up runs in the bot- kinds of performances week in, week doesn’t become a cricket score. home, leaving Imperial 1-0 up after tom of the second after a few wild out. The Black Cats may have a good Prediction: 4-0 the first innings. Despite Ashley Ng pitches and some slightly over-am- recent home record against Man City, Aston Villa v Cardiff hitting a double and Zack surviving a bitious fielding (it turns out this isn’t but having two of their starting 11 out pick-off attempt at third with a spec- MLB and double plays are still a bit through suspension won’t help their Aston Villa are simply not the same Southampton v Hull City tacular dive, Imperial couldn’t add to beyond us), although by then it was cause. All the signs point to a City win. side at home. Cardiff looked good their tally. too late for UCL. Imperial added even Prediction: 0-3 value for their win in the Welsh derby These sides are two of the best or- After some sloppy fielding by Impe- more runs in the top of the third (de- last weekend and their defence will be ganised in the league. But the Tigers rial, however, UCL recovered to go 5-1 spite a pitching change by UCL), after Tottenham v Newcastle hard for Villa to break down. They cer- are not as menacing away from the after their first three innings. Matt hits by Zack Wang and Marcel “Asian (Sunday 12pm, Sky Sports 1) tainly have the guile to claim all three KC Stadium and will struggle to break Bidwell stepped up to the plate to lead Kevin Youkilis” Ngan. points. down what is statistically one of the off the inning and blasted a monstrous Imperial went into the final innings Newcastle did really well to beat Prediction: 0-1 best defences in Europe solo home run to centre field (al- 13 runs ahead and looking certain of Chelsea last weekend, containing the Prediction: 1-0 though the celebration left a lot to be victory. Some excellent catching by Blues for so long before hitting them Chelsea v West Brom desired). The Falcons failed to capital- Vincent kept the runs to a minimum, on the break. It seems as long as they Swansea v Stoke ise, however, as Ashley and Zack were and the first two batters were quickly don’t concede early, their confidence The Baggies continued their good left on base again after good hits. dispatched, leaving Imperial needing grows and they are capable of a result run against Palace last week but Chel- Both of these sides will have started Unfortunately, UCL added two more only one out to win. After a couple of against anybody. Spurs seem almost sea will be reeling after their defeat at the season with their sights set on the runs in the fourth inning and, despite wild pitches (and the threat of being to have too many superstars who each Newcastle. Jose Mourinho has only top half but have flattered to deceive a valiant effort by the lower order replaced by Marcel), Zack took con- expect the other to come up with the lost 3 of almost 200 home Premier thus far. Unfortunately for the neutral, (special mention to J.D. Smith’s fear- trol, and got the batter to ground-out goods. They just lack that cutting edge League games and shouldn’t have any they struggle for goals so don’t expect some game face), Imperial couldn’t to finish the game, with Imperial run- despite their big-name summer sign- difficulties here. much entertainment. come back, with UCL running out 7-2 ning out 20-12 winners. ings. There could be boos ringing out Prediction: 3-1 Prediction: 1-0 winners. around White Hart Lane again this Crystal Palace v Everton The second game started well for