UMHLANGA ROCKS

UMHLANGA ROCKS

sunny place for shady people

A Novel by: Bryan Britton

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This work is dedicated to the memory of Mr Nelson Mandela, Nobel Peace Prize Winner, whose lifetime of endeavour and empathy for his fellow man must continue to inspire.

This is the author’s first attempt at a work of fiction. He leaves the world of fact with great reluctance and so the backdrop to the story is mainly factual.

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Direct quotations have been lifted from the Fourth Pillar upon whom South Africans are forced to rely in order to maintain their faltering democracy. In doing this he has often not acknowledged individual pieces but rather recognized the works of members of the Fourth Pillar as a collective. The author is massively grateful for their combined effort in preventing South Africa becoming yet another failed state on the African Continent.

Many of the players in this book are real but yet others have had their names changed to protect their innocence.

The conclusions, assumptions, assertions and story line are of the author’s making and anyone offended or disapproving is offered a sincere apology.

It is the author’s intention only to amuse and inform whilst advertising the amazing place on the eastern shores of South Africa known as Umhlanga Rocks and the inland travel opportunities of the South African province of KwaZulu Natal.

- Bryan Britton May 2014

The Index

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Chapter 1 The Place

Chapter 2 The Tribes

Chapter 3 The Players

Chapter 4 The Attraction

Chapter 5 The Underbelly

Chapter 6 The Drama

Chapter 7 The Outcome

Chapter 8 The Morality

Chapter 9 The End

Chapter 1 The Place ______

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The Colonel blustered into the ‘Sizzling Steak’ with an exasperated ‘good morning all’ to nobody in particular. The drunk in the corner, a remnant of the chaotic night before, raised his crimson eyes to the blare of the cricket on television and then slumped once more into Neverland. ‘These English players are the worst in the world’ the Colonel pointed out to Brian, the disinterested Zulu barman polishing glasses. ‘They can’t even field – useless bloody lot really. In my day you had famous professionals, not these sissies’ The weary-eyed barmen agreed, nodding over a smile that admitted to his total ignorance of the silly game of cricket.

The sun was climbing ever higher into the cloudless South African sky and the morning was promising to turn into a balmy, humid afternoon. Slowly, the regular crowd shuffled in with baggage from the night before and first rounds were ordered. Soon seconds followed and, as if someone had waved a magic wand, the mists in the minds of the revellers began to lift. Chuckles were heard, and then giggles from the girls which became guffaws and later gales of laughter and by the time the noon cannon went off and the Boeing had flown over, the party in the Umhlanga Rocks Village was back in full swing.

The Colonel was the first to agitate.

‘Rosy, darling’ he asked ‘where would you like to eat today?’

Rosy, in deep discussion with Kendall, simply ignored him. It was far too early to even think about such gastronomic triviality.

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Kendall was a beautiful and fascinating lady with wide indigo eyes, curvy body, flashing smile and sweeping black hair that fell across part of her flawless face. She had mesmerised many a keen, unsuspecting and panting young man in her time. As if God had not endowed her with enough goodies, He had thrown in a caring nature and loads of smarts. She was a budding creative author, dynamic mom, gorgeous friend, astute bookkeeper and she beguiled all in a charming and humble way.

‘Would you like to lunch at Larry’s Linguini or perhaps Pedro’s Cantina or maybe you would prefer sushi at Tung Thaid’ the Colonel persisted.

‘Kendall you come too, I’ll pay’.

She declined graciously. He was getting agitated, hungry and pissed off as his watch crept closer to two o’clock. No one took any notice as this was a daily occurrence.

In the nineties the Colonel had excelled as a trader in London and was lucky to retire very early in life. Only he knew what was being traded and he was very good at it. He had been persuaded to change from being a Sterling millionaire to being a Rand multi-millionaire when seeing the natural beauty of the KwaZulu Natal Coast. He had moved into the Village of Umhlanga Rocks some fifteen years

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS before. He had been fascinated by the place and remembered researching all about the area at the time.

The North Coast of Durban, South Africa, which included the Umhlanga Rocks area, probably owed its origin to the shortage of cotton which was one of the results of the American Civil War in the mid-19th Century. In those days The Natal Cotton Company had bought large areas of the bush countryside for 20 cents an acre and the German immigrant owners had attempted to create a cotton industry in the current area of New Germany.

The venture was a complete disaster and the land reverted to the Government of the day.

Following this failure John Moreland introduced British immigrants to the area where they were allocated farms to grow cotton. As this also failed Moreland turned to the more suitable sugar cane crop and formed the Natal Sugar Company at Compensation just North of Verulam.

This was followed by the floatation of Natal Sugar Estates by Sir Marshal Campbell in 1895 when he sold 2,000 acres of his sugar lands for the formation the township KwaMashu.

His son William was instrumental in founding Umhlanga Rocks as a quiet holiday resort for the sugar mill workers and their friends. He built a cottage called Oyster Lodge on the present site of the Oyster Box Hotel. An artesian well was sunk at the site presently in the park opposite Malindi and soon other wood and iron cottages sprang up. The first hotel followed in 1923 and the Victoria Hotel was an immediate success. Built by Marcus

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McCausland, it was graced in those early days by, amongst others, the famous Irish Dramatist George Bernhard Shaw.

The hotel later changed its name to the Umhlanga Rocks Hotel and progress continued with the 1931 development of Wave Crest which is the present day Umhlanga Sands and the Durban View Hotel which is today the Malindi.

As recently as 1960 Umhlanga Rocks was a small, secluded enclave providing shelter to monkeys, loeries and snakes.

‘Not much has changed’ mused the Colonel as he considered the shady people of the sunny village.

‘By God, Rosy’ blustered the Colonel surfacing from his day-dream. ‘Look at the time, I’m bloody starving – see you at the ‘Pickled Pork Chop’ – and in the blink of an eye he was gone.

Rosy continued her discussion with Kendall.

Whilst impatiently waiting for Rosy at his table in the Pickled Pork Chop, the Colonel started recalling the rest of his research notes from all those years ago.

Many bridges had been built and replaced when destroyed by floods. The most famous was the Queen’s Bridge, which was opened in 1894. The bridge did not last long as it washed away without trace only three years later.

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The lighthouse was built in 1952 because of the numerous times that ships mistook, to their extreme cost, the Umgeni River Mouth for the Durban Harbour.

The South African Railways and Harbours had sold a large tract of land to the then owners of the Oyster Box Hotel. They later sought permission to build a lighthouse on this land. The Oyster Box refused to give up any of the land and so the SAR&H was forced to build the lighthouse on the beach. The lighthouse was built in a staggering twenty four hours to prevent the structure from cracking.

Since that time Umhlanga Rocks has been a continuing story of progress, proliferation and pulchritude.

As Rosy entered the Pickled Pork Chop the Colonel blurted ‘Rosy, where the hell have you been? I have, in the meantime, nearly starved to death’

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‘What do you feel like to eat?’ demanded the Colonel.

Rosy pulled a face, rolled her eyes heavenwards and muttered ‘you order for me dear’

Any further antagonism was avoided by the arrival, quite co-incidentally, of the Mayor and Mayoress of Umhlanga Rocks. This elegant couple of friends were the pinnacle of good manners, good humour and chic fashion. No one dared misbehave in their company and the Colonel and Rosy sheepishly sheathed their daggers for another day.

The Mayor was a demure, smiling darling who had not a bad word to say about anyone and her informal election to the nominal position of Mayor was considered mere formality by the villagers.

Her clothes were chic, jewellery expensive, her demeanour friendly and as Mayor she was a whole bunch of fun. Her friend, the Mayoress, was equally well liked by the locals and was well respected for her bravery in undertaking lone ventures into the wild South African bush-veld. When on official duty she changed her hunting gear for the most elegant and becoming outfits. These dignitaries commanded much respect as they smilingly carried out their mayoral duties.

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‘Will you be joining us for lunch, your honours?’ intoned the Colonel expectantly.

‘Not today thank you very much Colonel. We are here merely to arrange for an upcoming luncheon for the Ladies Club’ said the affable mayor of Umhlanga Rocks.

When the mayoral party had departed the Colonel puffed ‘Ladies Club indeed. More like a nest of vipers, if you ask me’.

‘Rosy have we ordered yet. It’s getting late’.

‘My good man, may we see the menu? Tell me, have you any specials today? What was that thing that I ordered last time? May I have another Tom Collins? Oh! and bring some more ice’

‘Rosy have you decided what to eat yet, it’s getting really late. How is your drink darling? Are you alright? Hurry, for I must leave soon’.

Rumour mongers in the Village insisted that the Colonel had once known Lewis Carroll.

Umhlanga Rocks is a growing sub-tropical village washed by the warm Indian Ocean on the East Coast of South Africa. The weather throughout the year is sublime with cool summer rains interposed with scorching days, blue skies, subtle waves and balmy nights. The vegetation is lush, pretty, very

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS colourful and green throughout the year giving this wonderful place an air reminiscent of paradise.

Umhlanga Rocks is called the gateway to South Africa and it is perfectly positioned for any leg of a foreign visitor’s South African adventure. It's just a ten-minute drive on the N2 (southbound) from King Shaka Airport and is situated on the northern beaches of KwaZulu-Natal, 16 kilometres from the centre of Durban. From Umhlanga it's also an easy three-hour drive north along the superb N2 toll road to the many and varied Zulu Kingdom Game Reserves, or still further north to Swaziland and Mozambique. Alternatively, you can go south on the N2 to Port Shepstone and the holiday resort of Margate and then onto the Wild Coast, or continue

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS all of the way to the Cape Garden Route and ultimately on to Cape Town. For those who want to explore the mountains, head inland on the N3 to the world heritage site of Ukhahlamba Drakensberg Mountain Park and then onwards to Johannesburg, Mpumalanga and the fabulous Kruger National Park.

*************

There are two distinct populations in Umhlanga. Visitors from inland South Africa, other African countries and the rest of the world - and then you have the locals.

The locals are a fascinating lot. They are made up mainly of the Rand Lords, who own all of the commercial property in the Village and the Rand Barons, who converted their modest overseas fortunes into the ailing local currency, at staggering exchange multiples, to now enjoy the luxury life.

Included in this latter group is many a successful local entrepreneur now enjoying the fruits of the sale of his or her lucrative past business venture. Others are up-country retirees who, having spent a miserly lifetime bringing up families and investing

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS wisely, now seek some sort of rest and pay-back in their declining years. Ladies left wealthy by the death of their long suffering husbands abound and others, left wealthy by smart lawyers in divorce proceedings, now seek younger company as reparation.

And then you have the chancers who are drawn to the bohemian sub-tropical lifestyle but cannot really afford it.

Bohemia is historically a country of Central Europe occupying the western two thirds of the old Czech Lands. This is now the Czech Republic with its capital in Prague. It once, long ago, spawned a lifestyle of marginalized artists, writers, journalists, musicians and actors who all enjoyed living an unconventional lifestyle amongst like-minded people. Free love, frugality and voluntary poverty were the cornerstones.

The movement spread to nineteenth century Paris and Mark Twain, Lord Byron, Percy Shelley, Oscar Wilde, Henry Miller and F. Scott Fitzgerald all drew inspiration for their now famous literary works from this bohemian crucible of inspiration.

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Henry Murger also dipped into this crucible. In writing the book ‘La Boheme’, later made into an opera by Puccini and still later into a movie by Baz Luhrman, Murger popularised the bohemian lifestyle in Paris that ultimately earned two academy awards for the movie ‘Moulin Rouge’.

With its plethora of busy pavement cafés, wine bars, coffee shops, informal restaurants, holiday resorts, swanky new hotels, busy pubs, energetic nightclubs, and exclusive fine- wining and dining venues, Umhlanga Rocks was likely also born out of the crucible of the bohemian genre, all of this depicted so well and so vividly in ‘Moulin Rouge’. The modern, brightly lit, promenade along the Umhlanga Rocks beach front, with its fabulous

beaches, water sports, surfing and boating, welds the South African seaside and the Umhlanga Village into a nineteenth century bohemian Paris.

Serious business and commerce is passé and has been banished to the nearby suburbs of Umhlanga Ridge and La Lucia some three kilometres away.

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Gambling, shopping and things to do on rainy days have also been relegated to Sibaya down the road a piece and to nearby Gateway.

The Village is reserved solely for ‘La Boheme’.

Sunny Place for Shady People (Teddy Bears Picnic)

If you go down to the village today You’re sure in for a big surprise If you go down to the village today You’d better go in disguise.

For everyone that’s usually there Will gather there for certain, because Today as usual is just another drinking day.

Everyone who is faulty or shady Is sure of a drink today There are lotsof marvellous things to eat And people playing the games that people play.

Seated on bar stools and pub benches They’ll hide & seek as long as they please ‘Cause that’s the way the faulty ones spend their day.

If you go down to the village today You’d better not go alone It’s lovely down in the village today But in Ambush Alley you will fall prey.

Drinking time for the faulty people They are all having a lovely time today Watch them, catch them unawares And see them go about their shady affairs.

See them gaily fall about They love to drink & eat & shout They never have any care.

At pub closing time They will stagger back home – Wherever home might be that night

Kendall

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Chapter 2 The Tribes. ______

In any society it is natural for the inhabitants to seek out the company of others who enjoy the same language, religious principles, cultural habits and outlook on life. The tribes of the Village were no different. Newcomers to the Village gravitated to the tribe that best suited their own interests, persona, aspirations and natures.

Rosy belonged to just such a grouping. She was definitely of the glass half full variety and saw the good in everything and everybody. She laughed and giggled her way through each day. It was infectious. Whilst in her company it was impossible to be sad, even if you had that morning cut yourself severely whist shaving. Her tribe included the vivacious Kendall, the irrepressible Norma and the colourful Thandi. Norma was friendly, bubbly and very sexy. Estranged from her husband, she impatiently waited for word from the courts which would once more free her to be able to express her wonderful extravert temperament. That temperament had been supressed through too many years of boring marriage. She was euro- centric, beautiful, cosmopolitan, fiery and fun.

Thandi was an exceptionally well off and well groomed French-speaking lady from West Africa. She too was chic and cosmopolitan and shuttled to

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS and fro between Europe and Umhlanga as if it were a daily commute. Thandi was forthright, forthcoming, fiery and a lot of fun – when anyone could decipher her frigging French laden English.

The Girls’ Club met regularly to discuss their agenda with hilarity, frivolity, bonhomie and liberal sprinklings of the sparkling variety. This group were responsible for the phenomenon - the ‘pop-up party’. This unique custom entailed unsuspecting tenants of the Village being descended upon in their homes by the Girls Club and followers. They would bring with them delicious food, snacks, munchies, a truck load of liquor and their favourite brand of good humour. Many of the Villagers are today still suffering from the after-effects of one of these infamous ‘pop-up parties’.

The Ladies Club on the other hand was a more sombre and elegant grouping where the members met regularly to impress other members with the latest fashion trinket or item of clothing. This was also the cauldron where the reputations of the Villagers were placed on the table, discussed in hushed tones, examined and then medically dissected or amputated. Many poor amputees still roam the Village today.

When the Mayor and Mayoress presided over the meetings of the Ladies Club, the agenda took on a more friendly tone and then charities were discussed, help that was needed for suffering Villagers was debated and notice was given of up- coming events of interest for members to attend. Besides the mayoral dignitaries, membership of the Ladies Cub included Kim, Lisa, Sarah, Maureen and Jennifer.

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The third clan in the Village was affectionately known as the ‘Witches of Eastwick’. Unlike the Ladies Club this grouping were inelegant, sordid, manner less and dangerous. They were much younger than their more elegant counterparts and were revellers of note. Their meetings were infinitely longer, the agendas less demanding and the after-meeting drinks party dominated the minutes of their meetings. They were foul-mouthed, totally undisciplined and uncouth. Any strangers to the Umhlanga Village, falling unwittingly into their cauldron, would slowly but surely have the life boiled out of them. Their membership core included Jocelyn, June and Alison.

Belonging neither to the ‘Witches of Eastwick nor the ‘Ladies Club’ was Meg Ryan. This fun loving lady was too young for the latter and too refined for the former and so she gravitated between the two clubs whenever she ventured into the Village. Jacques had once got a little too friendly with Meg and had received a severe rap over the knuckles from his friends. So, despite his natural inclination, he now enjoyed Meg’s company as a concerned friend and sometimes drinking companion.

The boys of the Village were far too macho to group into clubs. Instead they frequented two watering holes which catered for specific interest groups. ‘The Fishing Rod’ was obviously where ski-boat enthusiasts gathered to talk about their favourite hobby – drinking. And whilst supping happily on a

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS cold one, they got to talking about their next favourite preoccupation – women. And when the conversation dried up and embarrassing silences crept in, they resorted to talking about angling, deep sea fishing, ski-boats, tides and monstrous fish that got away.

The other watering hole was the ‘Lifebuoy’. Here enthusiasts gathered to talk about their favourite pastime – drinking. And when the conversation dried up and embarrassing silences crept in, they resorted to talking about their next favourite thing –women. When those topics were exhausted they merely listened to the proprietor’s amazing feats of endurance, bravery and fitness in the serious business of lifesaving.

‘The Dragon Slayer’ was by far the biggest club in Umhlanga. There was no restriction on club membership other than having a voracious appetite for beer and an unquenchable thirst’.

Membership ranged from the Rand Barons, ex pats and retirees to, in the evenings, the earring and tattoo brigade. ‘The Dragon Slayer’ was never empty. Members sometimes spilled drinks, they now and again spilled outside and into the road and sometimes they spilled sprawlingly onto the road. A prerequisite at this venue was the ability to mime and lip-read as the noise levels there defied conversation.

Smaller clubs existed and were made up of individuals chastised and castigated by the mainstream clubs in Umhlanga Rocks. The Grumpy Old Men, for example, consisted of only two members. They met regularly to discuss the day’s misfortunes and how to get through sundowners

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS and supper unscathed. Ryan and Jacques shared a terrible secret. They had both once been loved, affluent, popular and dynamic. They both aimed to rise from their current impoverished state to once more join mainstream society.

Another club which invited members of both sexes was the ‘Sports Lovers Club’. This unique gathering had no agenda, no minutes and in fact members very rarely spoke to each other. Their main activity was to gather in front of the largest and clearest television set in the Village to watch endless hours of international table tennis matches, provincial bowls tournaments, toboggan races, league badminton tourneys, lacrosse encounters and steeple chase events.

And then you have the annual gathering of all of the locals.

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Club Colours are left at home for one day in the year when everyone celebrates the bohemia of the Village together. Called the Umhlanga Summer Festival all of the players in the Village pull out all of the stops on this day.

The Summer Festival has gained traction over the last couple of years and appears to be a staple on the Village’s calendar.

The KZN Surfing Association hosts the Summer Surf Session, which pits top local surfers against each other for the title of winner in the pro division; while the amateur division is open to social surfers, so even first timers can give it a go.

The Granada Square Carol Service gives vocal expression to the festive time of year and is held for everyone’s enjoyment with less fortunate citizens benefitting from the proceeds.

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The now famous street party in Chartwell Drive gives everyone the chance to participate in year- end revelry and enjoy live music, fresh food and street dancing.

Behind the festive masks the locals lose their identity and inhibition, as if they had those things in the first place.

On this day the pop-up party girls were in full cry with Thandi, balancing on Everest high heels, wearing a West African Death Mask and twisting in some Hutu gyration that had other dancers gasping.

Rosy lost her shyness behind a mask, reminiscent of a seventeenth century Venetian Arlechino, and jived and boogied vibrantly in cognito all night.

Kendall wowed with a seductive ensemble of dance that saw all of her essential body parts moving tantalisingly in different directions. This show had drawn a large crowd of panting men, resembling

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werewolves, who stood drunkenly applauding and cheering the super star’s every move.

Jacques wobbled around rhythmically to the music, at times dancing with the ladies and, at yet other times, dancing completely on his own. His strange East Pakistani style of dance often resembled a clumsy initiate painfully attempting to perform the Polynesian firewalk ritual.

Ryan went to that place in his head which imagined low candle lighting, subtle mood music, sweet nothings whispered, bold cleavages and taut buttocks, as he romanced with his eyes closed around Chartwell Drive.

The Colonel’s spectacles threatened to fly off of his face and presented a potential hazard to innocent by-standers as he jived uncontrollably with Rosy who just jiggled and giggled.

Norma wore a Venetian Moretta mask but would have been better advised to wear a Roman breastplate because her ample chest threatened, at times, to get out of control as she performed her now famous strut and wiggle down Chartwell Drive.

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The mayor and mayoress performed an elegant waltz in a refined and dignified manner while some of the Witches of Eastwick stumbled around grabbing onto each other in a theatrical version of a Shark’s loose scrum.

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The following day’s debriefing occurred at Larry’s Linguini where drunken recalls were woven together to form a complete quilt of the previous night’s frivolity, mayhem and fun. The festival would be remembered for a very long time but the following day not so much. The mood of the next day was sombre revolving more around Garonsans, Disprins, water-bottles and sleep. So the Linguini encore flared briefly spluttered and then quietly went out.

‘Hey Ryan’ said Jacques ‘what do you say we get a pizza, buy a bottle and do a bit of networking’.

‘Sounds more like trawling to me’ mumbled Ryan.

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‘Call it what you like, it’s better than watching the paint dry on this wall’ said Jacques.

‘Oh, whatever’ said the unenthusiastic Ryan.

The two rose slowly, slung their bags over their shoulders and headed down Ambush Alley ponderously in search of a liquor store, a pizzeria and a means to resuscitate their flagging hopes for yet another day in the bohemian village.

Chapter 3 The Players

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‘My name is Tony. I lead a simple life. The Villagers give me odd jobs and I do them well. I can feed and clothe myself and I pay my helper too. I am very well known in the Village and the people there are kind to me. God looks after me as well and every Sunday I go to church to thank him for his blessings. I do not drink or smoke or have a girlfriend but hope one day that I will find someone who likes me.

I have been in the Village all my life and know everyone and everyone knows me. That makes me very happy. They all greet me and sometimes give me things. This also makes me happy but, after I thank them, they don’t see me anymore. I think that I become invisible. I like that because I can watch them and watch what they are doing and no one minds at all. My friend types all my stories down in his computer so that we do not forget any of them. He says that he is better at English than me but I don’t think that he is’.

Tony watched as Ryan and Jacques dragged themselves through the Village this night.

‘Have you got fags Jacques’ asked Ryan

‘Jeez, why don’t you just move in, it would be cheaper’ whined Jacques.

‘I have moved in you clown. Have you not noticed’ said Ryan.

‘Here, knock yourself out’ said Jacques offering the crumpled pack.

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‘Where did you get these anyway? You told me you were broke’ accused Ryan.

‘The Colonel bunged me a few bucks’ defended Jacques.

‘Man that is one kind dude. He has helped me that many times that I can’t remember them all. When I am out of all my shit I will repay his kindness’ said Ryan quieter now and more respectful.

‘Absolutely right, me too’ said Jacques joining into the sombre moment ‘he has heart of gold’.

‘You know that, as a friend, he has never let me down or even given me a bum steer in fifteen years. He is a handful but he is a genuine mensch’ said Ryan

Jacques nodded sagely and was silent because he was sure that he had detected a watery glint in the big man’s eyes.

Jacques put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder, patted it a few times and the two continued to stagger up Ambush Alley. The busy thoroughfare between the vibrant restaurants was a crescendo of giggles, guffaws, screeches and quaffing noises.

Tony crept from his place in the shadows and went in the opposite direction.

************

The following day was a scorcher and it was Saturday. By seven in the morning the early shoppers were fighting the heat as evidenced by their shimmering brows. Make-up ran, hair grew

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS frizzy and armpits were an embarrassment. Food however was a priority this morning and the aisles were a hive of sweaty activity. Norma, Ryan and Jacques, sitting at Jochen’s Java, were having their first coffees of the morning whilst nursing throbbing heads. Ryan and Jacques were admonishing Norma for the disappearing act she had pulled the night before.

‘Just tell us where you are going’ grouched Ryan

‘And do not drive when you are pissed’ admonished Jacques

This brotherly affection and concern for Norma’s safety stemmed from both of them being secretly in love with the blonde bombshell. Both had been unable to make an impression on her. The reason was their hopeless financial positions they each privately told their over-developed macho egos. Nonetheless, they enjoyed Norma’s company immensely and the three were often seen as good friends teasing and laughing together.

This morning the trio were only able to grimace and wave at the passing parade from behind seriously dark glasses.

Cuan also had on heavy shades as he slowly fumbled his way to the nearest watering hole. He was the most fun- loving of the Rand Baron’s and resembled Dudley Moore from the movie ‘Arthur’.

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At parties in the Village he was outrageous, life and soul of the proceedings and was followed by hilarity wherever he went. The discernible difference was that Cuan was far more mischievous and naughty than the fictional young Arthur could ever be.

‘Gooday all’ beamed the affable Cuan ‘Cannot dawdle, must recover, places to go, people to see. Clock you all’ and for the moment he was gone.

‘Swimming not drinking’ demanded the gorgeous Norma and the trio of friends rose painstakingly from their table and headed towards the beach.

Tony slipped silently from his watch at Peter’s Prego and went on his way. He did not like swimming.

Willy was an aging hippy. His long grey stresses and beard made him resemble the singer Willy Nelson and hence earned him his nickname.

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Nobody actually remembered his real name but all enjoyed his music.

Willy was humming the latest country and western number to himself as he busily packed his gear into his also aged Kombi. Willy was singer, guitar and keyboard player, road manager, sound engineer and the accountant extraordinaire for his solo act ‘The Ageless Wonder’. So lonely was this job that the minute Willy saw any of his friends, he would blurt out details of all of the defects on the Kombi, the cost of its upkeep, the number of gigs he had recently garnered while giving a detailed account of all the people that had pissed him off in his lonely pursuit.

As a musical act he was superb. He usually began with a slow and quiet set, then stepped it up in the second with a foot-tapping medley of evergreens from the seventies and then finally he relapsed into an orgiastic, gyrating crescendo of wild, unstoppable, soul jerking and eye-glazing numbers of the hard rock genre that added several years to the effervescent Willy’s already long tooth.

Tonight he was playing at his favourite music venue – Larry’s Linguini.

He knew many of the locals who frequented Larry’s and he felt at home there. The managers and owners of Larry’s, Robyn and Daniel, treated him

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS well, bought him drinks and made sure that he had enough post toasties. The invariably inebriated crowd sang and hooted along and, if Willy missed a cord or sang the wrong note, nobody noticed.

As Willy said his ‘good evenings’ through the microphone he noticed that the Ladies Club, Girl’s Club, Witches of Eastwick, Grumpy Old Men and Sports Lovers Clubs, as well as several locals from the Dragon Slayer, Fishing Rod and Lifebuoy Clubs had shuffled in. It was a full house!

Norma did her normal sexy strut and wiggle up and down Ambush Alley at times appearing more undressed than dressed. This caused several older locals to clutch desperately at their heaving chests.

Jacques did a poor imitation of the Comrades runner ‘Loop ‘n Val’ Motshwarteu trying to keep up with Norma and Ryan did a soft shoe shuffle normally reserved for admiring breasts in dim light at close quarters in seedy nightclubs.

Cuan was impressive as he performed a pole dance using his knitted boa-constrictor as a stage-prop and the Colonel showed traces of his misspent London youth by jiving dizzyingly with Rosy.

Kendall oozed sex appeal as she drifted back and forth to some exotic beat in her head and, not to be outdone, the members of the Witches of Eastwick performed a stumbling group hip-hop on the tables.

All the while Willy went to a rock ‘n place in his head which caused his eyes to mist over, grow murky, distant and myopic.

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The locals loved letting it all hang out with their fellow locals on these wild and balmy nights.

Tony watched the drunken séance from the seclusion of the next door Tung Thaid restaurant and then seamlessly welded into the dark.

****************

The sun drifted like a red balloon higher into the next day and again it promised to be a scorcher. Gary cleared his foggy head with two Disprins and a gargle of mouthwash.

He was meeting Sally for breakfast and must not be late. He jumped into the safari suit with his name emblazoned above the zebra skin logo, grabbed his keys and slammed out of his tiny flat. Sally was already waiting at a table at Jochen’s Java. She looked radiant. Although no longer a spring chicken, she had maintained a flawless face and slim body which made her the favourite model of several advertising companies. She was typecast by these agencies as the ageless mom, the favourite sister or the pretty wife. She came from upper class breeding in nearby Zululand where her father was a sporting legend and medical guru. She presented a pretty and refined juxtaposition to the noisy, brash and fun- loving Gary. Gary had been an executive in the insurance industry, had brought up four lovely daughters, had gone through a divorce and now supplemented his retirement funds by using his knowledge of

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South Africa’s turbulent history and wonderful proliferation of fauna and flora. He was the host and guide to foreign visitors keen to see nearby game reserves, historical sites and local places of cultural interest. And he was pretty good at it.

‘Hey Jacques, come sit’ shouted Gary.

‘Hello guys, what’s up, all good?’ said Jacques choosing not to sit.

‘Yes great. I have a safari this morning to a game reserve and Sally’s got a photo shoot. Will you be in the Village tonight? enquired the bustling Gary.

‘Sure let’s hook up at Larry’s later’ said Jacques as he departed and left the two lovers to their coffees.

Tony watched the interaction from the nearby Pedro’s Cantina.

******************* Meanwhile Jacques was on his way on foot to see a mysterious newcomer to the village. He had spoken to her only a few times in the last few weeks but had nevertheless managed to get her to agree to have

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS coffee with him. As Jacques had already been rejected by some of the available talent in the Village, he was keen to keep this latest liaison under wraps. He hastened to a distant coffee shop that the locals seldom frequented.

Jacques was very aware of the disparity in their ages and knew that this could pose a problem down the line. However, this did not seem to bother his stunning girl-next–door coffee guest in agreeing to meet this morning. He, with the festering trepidation of a pimply sixteen year old, pressed cautiously forward to meet with the lovely Linda.

He had learned that she had grown up in a very strict Afrikaans family and was, as a result, courteous, religious, had extremely good manners, was very respectful and was ly oblivious of her astounding good looks.

Her flawless English gave no clue of her Afrikaans ancestry and whilst the flowing blonde hair, cautious white smile and sparkling green eyes had attracted Jacques initially, it was her calm nature, assured manner, cheerful disposition and cute body that he was anxious to explore.

She was waiting.

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Jacques’s heart lurched in his aging chest as he croaked ‘morning Linda, good to see you again’.

She rose with that easy and winning smile and gave the trembling Jacques a soft hug.

Jacques would have died a happy man if he passed on at that very moment.

Tony watched from the nearby Pink Prawn restaurant and smiled benignly.

Jacques sipped his coffee while Linda told him how excited she was to be living in Umhlanga. She had graduated from Stellenbosch University and had joined a major bank almost fifteen years before. Since that time she had progressed to a senior post on the marketing side of the bank and when the recent Umhlanga opportunity was advertised, she jumped at it. She was recovering from a break up with her long term boy fiend and needed to get out of Cape Town.

‘Jacques, will you show me some of the sights in Umhlanga. I am so keen to get to know this wonderful place’.

Jacques pushed aside his cup, stood up, held out his hand and said ‘Alright, let’s begin with the name. I’ll show you where the beautiful place got its name’.

Hand in hand they headed towards the beach.

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A short distance down the beach, Jacques pointed to a silted lagoon fed by a river that meandered under the road bridge and seemed then to disappear amongst the profusion of reeds further inland. ‘This is the Ohlanga River’ he explained ‘it is the Zulu word for ‘place of the reeds’. The word Umhlanga refers to a colourful and symbolic dance which is performed annually by the region’s Zulu Maidens. This dance is known as the reed dance.

The Ohlanga River forms part of the 26 hectare Umhlanga Lagoon Nature Reserve and includes the coastal dune forest system known as the Hawaan Forest’.

‘Can we actually go into the forest?’ asked Linda excitedly.

‘Sure, keep your eyes peeled for vervet monkeys and I believe there are bushbuck and duiker too but I have never once actually seen them’. The two stooped and bent between the old gnarled trees and low canopies that proliferated on the sandy dunes. They weaved for some time on the man-made foot path between the lush and tangled vegetation. All

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS the while the monotonous roar of the ocean could be heard.

After a short time the two new friends emerged from the damp and dappled tunnel-sauna of colourful sub-tropical jungle into the blazing sunshine and onto a pristine white beach. The constant roar of the azure Indian Ocean crashing against the rocks grew louder and they smelled the saltiness of the spewing white breakers as they surged toward the shore.

‘That was cool’ said Linda flashing that shy smile at Jacques and showing him excited green eyes’.

Jacques could not help himself and he bent slowly and kissed Linda softly on the lips. She did not resist and gently returned the kiss. There was a spark and the two stood mesmerised for an eternity.

Returning from that hypnotic place Jacques tugged Linda’s hand gently and set off up the beach. ‘Let me show you the Lifebuoy Club. We can watch the ocean from the balcony while we have lunch and something cold to drink’.

Tony got to the Club first out of breath and panting. He was pleased for Jacques but could not wait to get his friend to write down all of the morning’s events.

********************

Ryan and Kendall sat chatting at Larry’s Linguini. She looked stunning as usual and Ryan was drooling all over her. Her short mini showed her long, slim, tanned, athletic legs and the halter top left her swimmers shoulders bare. She was the pinnacle of good health and beauty and Ryan was

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS finding it difficult not to stare. Eventually, he dragged on his dark shades which allowed him to admire her amazing arrangement of ‘traits beauteous maximus’ more discretely. It did not, however, stop any of the drooling and he had constantly to dab his wet lips with a serviette.

Ryan was grinning a lot and Kendall was giggling a lot but this liaison was never going to happen. The two had on several occasions in the past attempted to hook up but each time the spark had spluttered, flared but failed to ignite into a fire. So, they were now reduced to mutual admiration, platonic friendship without benefits, a whole bunch of sweaty imaginings and some drooling.

Enter the Dragon, stage left. Ray was a stalwart local in the Village and also had had several attempts at attracting the luscious Kendall. Also to no avail and the two now professed to be just friends with no medical aid and no pension scheme. The two Alpha males bristled, circled each other, showed the sharpness of their teeth and then obediently sat down opposite Kendall. She should have been a lion tamer.

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Ray was showing the afternoon effects of an old brown sherry and biscuit breakfast and smiled inanely even at the sad stories. He complained his usual complaint which was ‘Jeez, I’m pissed’ as if he was an innocent by-stander at this unhappy event. ‘Waiter, please bring me a white wine and ice. Is anyone else having?’ he asked the two heads opposite him that were shaking vigorously from side to side.

‘Ok, be like that, see if I care’

The injection of white wine ignited his usual chat- up-the-bird routine.

‘So, my darling Kendall’ said Ray ‘when are we doing that nude swimming thing again? I have been practising, you know. I suppose marriage is out of the question. Why don’t we just have kids like everyone else? Is it my breath? I’ll change for you, I promise’ he slurred endlessly along.

Finally ‘Oh well, I will just have to die unhappy’.

‘N’importe quoi’ giggled Kendall because she had heard it all before.

Ray was quite a successful businessman and he owned property in the village, drove a fancy car and had a string of girlfriends whose actual names he battled to remember in the morning. He slept far too much, golfed badly and regularly, lunched for far too long, attended sundowners that lasted all night but somehow he still managed to earn a very good living.

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He had once tried to live in the same digs as Ryan and Jacques but that just ended up in tussles as to whose girlfriend actually was interested in whom.

So Ray had moved on.

Just then the Rand Baron Cuan strode up Ambush Alley and, seeing many of the Village locals huddled protectively over their sundowners, did a military eyes right and right wheel into Larry’s Linguini. His habit was to kiss all of the ladies first and this took ages.

When he finally arrived at Kendall’s table he grinned ‘Saved the best for last’. Then straightening his non- existent tie, slicking his unruly mop and his eyebrows and practising a few messy French kisses, he hoarily went after Kendall. Giggling she covered her beautiful face with her long black hair and attempted to climb under the table.

‘Stranded yet again at the altar, boys’ complained Cuan as the entertainment for the afternoon drew polite applause and the curtain came down for intermission.

Right hands shot into the air from several different parts of the restaurant and, from this practised gathering, emanated a deafening choral chant.

‘Waiter, another round, pleeease!!!’.

‘Good news is just to hand’ chirped Cuan. Mother Hen has informed me that drinks are the order of the day at our home pub on the twenty third, at six. I’m in charge of invitations’. Mother Hen was

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Cuan’s long suffering better half who, whilst putting up with his spirited antics, had built up a fine reputation as a community spirited individual in the Village. She was liked, kind, caring and smart. The fact that she was also beautiful and sexy rounded off a woman to be taken seriously.

Cuan got to Kendall’s table he said stoutly to the guys ‘You and you are not on the list’. Smiling like a naughty schoolboy he said to Kendall ‘you, my dear, will of course be there as my special guest but don’t let her ladyship suspect anything. She has got me on a very short leash at the moment’.

‘You will all hear about the party in upcoming dispatches’ and he was gone before his wave of farewell had time to sink in.

**************

The Colonel thumped his mail, magazines, newspapers and books noisily onto the bar counter. ‘Bloody hell man, the service in this place is non- existent’.

‘Waiter can you please make me a Tom Collins’.

The customer with the crimson eyes, slumped in his usual corner, lifted his head just long enough to say ‘That is not a waiter, it’s the fridge mechanic’ before returning to Neverland.

‘Bloody hell, never mind. Mr Mechanic, do you perhaps know how to pour a Tom Collins. I have my

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS own soda here. It’s in a three gallon drum in the meat fridge’

‘I don’t know why I even come here. A person can’t seem to get good help anywhere these days what with bloody Pakistanis and Taliban everywhere’.

‘Rosy, where are you. I’m getting hungry. Shall we lunch at the ‘Sizzling Steak’? I’m already here. Shall I keep a table, it’s filling up fast. I will order you a drink, what will you have? Rosy! Are you there?’

The Colonel cussed and slammed the counter because his aged cell phone had once again lost its signal. ‘Bloody Chinese rubbish, what’s happening to the discipline in the Empire?

**************** Across the other side of the Village Gary clasped both of Sally’s hands in his large mittens and said intensely ‘Sally, I would like to make an honest woman out of you’

‘But I am not dishonest, Gary’ she fluttered through long dark lashes.

‘I…..err……know that Sal…what I ..err…. mean is’

‘What do you mean, Gary?’ said Sally smilingly as she enjoyed Gary’s fumbles.

‘I want to take care of you’ said Gary bolder.

‘But you do already Gary and I really appreciate it’

‘Goddam it woman, I want you to move in with me’ blustered the now red-faced Gary

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‘Oh that. Well why didn’t you just say that in the first place’ said Sally using those fluttering lashes again.

‘Waiter, bring me my bill’ roared Gary

‘So Sally, what is your answer?’

‘Sir, you have asked for the same bill three times already’ interjected the waiter. ‘Would you perhaps prefer us to post a monthly statement or send you a sms?’

‘Of course Gary that would be very nice’ grinned Sally and yet another match was made in heaven.

*******************

Yo-Yo’s on the Umhlanga beachfront was yet another place for Fun. To the usual séance of drinking and dancing was added the additional vice of singing. For many years now Yo-Yo’s had featured the outstanding talents of the ageless ‘Slider March’. An outstanding musician himself, having been a legend on the South African music scene since Jim Reeves was popular; he now chose to run a Karaoke Evening.

Locals lost their shyness, inhibitions and dignity by the third cold one had submerged and they then happily participated in the fun of Karaoke. Those locals unable to see

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS themselves as budding rocks stars, despite enhancing libation, simply boogied, lap danced and shimmied enthusiastically around the Yo-Yo’s dance floor whilst their mates giggled at the vain local singers reliving their youth.

Once in a while, when Slider had had enough toneless flat note yodelling from the locals, he would, dimming the lights, adjusting his stove-pipe pants and singing perfectly over the top of the microphone, deliver gut wrenching, tuneful, note perfect renditions of songs no longer remembered by the younger locals.

Jacques recalled that on one particular Sunday the Grumpy Old Men, Girls Club and some of Ryan’s family attended. After Ryan had done his slow shuffle examination of several young ladies chest assets, he asked Slider if his daughter could possibly sing. Slider rolled his eyes, looked at his watch, sighed and gave Ryan a lop-sided, seventy year old smile. ‘Ok, if she must’.

That night Yo Yo’s became famous. Ryan’s daughter Candy put Slider into a bad spin as she warbled the latest hits in a voice borrowed from an angel. The dancers came out as one, the crowd provided background harmony and the bohemians left their drinks to gyrate around uncontrollably on the floor. Slider lost control of the venue that he had commanded for twenty years.

Bohemia extended that night to Yo Yo’s and Slider could only watch as the younger generation took over.

********************

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Luigi had previously flown freight charters around Africa in this continent’s turbulent post-colonial era. When puppet regimes flourished and kleptocrats slimed into the gap left by the departing pirates of Europe, Luigi had flourished.

The departure of former military regimes that had enforced the colonial pillage of the continent meant that the remaining defences, rules, authority and discipline went out of the window. This left a huge gap in international borders, allowing skilled pilots, like Luigi, to fly into countries under the radar, so to speak. Manifestos, bills of lading, import permits and letters of credit were colonial terms for resource control and therefore, in the new kleptocratic era, they simply did not exist. Meet me under the bridge at midnight and bring cash.

Luigi was a brilliant pilot and was able to get under several of these bridges well before midnight.

When the kleptocrats were overthrown one by one and some semblance of political and economic stability returned to the continent, Luigi retired gracefully.

He opened his own restaurant called, strangely enough, ‘Luigi’s’ and settled for a more stable and honourable life. Or so he thought.

The restaurant game in the Village is akin to the casino game in Las Vegas.

A handful of Rand Lords preside over all of the buildings in Umhlanga Rocks that housed restaurants. And in the very small precinct of the Village there were sixty nine such restaurants. Leases were therefore loaded substantially in

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS favour of the house and many unsuspecting restaurateurs were blown out of the water before the ink on the leases had time to dry. Luigi was an unfortunate victim of this cartel and he lost a fair chunk of his fortune.

Luigi’s was sold and now Robyn and Daniel fought daily with the Rand Lords while Luigi stewed in the renamed ‘Larry’s Linguini’ over copious amounts of Bicardi.

One bright spot in his life was Kim. This bubbly lady laughed, chortled and smiled at the drop of a hat and made the stewing Luigi just a little happier. She seemed never to be in a bad mood and was the complete antithesis of the stern Luigi. She sometimes dined with the Ladies Club members but was by no means a regular, preferring to spend her time drinking with friends with whom she could have a giggle and a laugh. And then she sometimes she just simply danced on tables to express her deep love of life.

*************************

Jacques still had not introduced Linda to his friends. She had not pressed him but he knew that he was going to have to do it soon. So, for the moment, they frequented the Ale House in La Lucia.

On one of these afternoons Jacques and Linda were having an early supper there when they noticed Juanita sitting in her car in the restaurant’s parking lot. Juanita was well known in the Village having worked at various outlets. She was fairly attractive, must have spent fortunes on clothes,

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS make-up and surgery and did not see the loving couple at supper. A short while later an acquaintance pulled into the car park. His arrival was not a surprise as these two were often seen together. After a short exchange the acquaintance drove off leaving the buxom Juanita still patiently seated in her car.

Jacques and Linda continued their intimate supper.

The arrival of a sports convertible, driven by a stunning blonde in a short skirt, drew the pair’s attention. She had hair flowing to her shoulders, long legs and high heels. They both noticed the Gauteng number plates. She wiggled over to Juanita’s car and the tinted driver’s window slowly lowered. There was a brief exchange and, in a blur, the long-legged picture blonde pirouetted on her spiked heels and returned to her vehicle. In a flash of thighs, flying blonde hair, smoking tyre rubber and ruby brake lights, the modified coupe screeched out of the parking lot.

‘Drugs’ said Jacques to his gorgeous dinner companion.

Jacques did not tell Linda that he had seen Tony also watching the exchange from deep in the surrounding bushes?

*******************

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‘Mayor and Mayoress, your honours, I would like to introduce you to my new friend Linda. The elegant couple affectionately grasped Linda’s outstretched hand in both of theirs, held the greeting and smilingly began to tell Linda about all of Jacques’s bad points.

Whilst the three slowly sipped wine, chatted and laughed, Jacques tried not to look like a spare tyre on a motor cycle.

‘We must do this again Linda, it was so much fun. Try to keep Jacques on track’

Then with regal waves, nodding heads and mayoral smiles they were gone.

*****************

Jacques did eventually manage to introduce Linda to the rest of his friends and managed also to endure all of the disreputable things that they said about him. Jacques just had to absorb it all with a nod and a weary smile.

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Chapter 4 The Attraction

Linda was like a breath of fresh air. Sometimes girl, sometimes woman, always positive, always smiling, often cute and always considerate. Seldom selfish, very practical, extremely curious and forever willing to try new things. She could be serious, thoughtful, frivolous and fun all in the space of a day.

Jacques rejoiced in her happy, novel and youthful approach to everything and the renewed energy that she brought to him. He thanked his maker daily for sending him this charming angel at such a late stage in his life. Jacques felt her pain. He too had been disappointed in previous long term relationships in his life. For the first time in years he once more became caring, loving, kind, proactive and he looked forward to each day that he spent with this lovely lady. She was a world of fun.

He drank less, his work ethic returned, he lost weight, he lost his degenerate beach bum look and he started resembling the retired executive that had come to Umhlanga all those years ago. Linda noticed and she encouraged him.

His income as a result started to sky-rocket.

They found that they shared many interests and delighted in sharing these varying pursuits. They wined and dined and danced their way through

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS all of the many restaurants in the Village. They did research together in the library, attended live shows and concerts, read interesting books and regularly went to the beach for picnics. Health improved, tans got deeper, respect grew, spirits soared, they both became fitter and each day they grew closer to each other. As a consequenceof all of these things, their new love for each other grew in leaps and bounds.

She had told him that she could not have children and rather than drag that cross around with her, she delighted in making a fuss instead of Jacques’s grandchildren.

One morning, out of the blue, she hooked a hand behind Jacques’s head, drew him into the orbit of those limpid green eyes and whispered ‘I totally get you’.

Jacques showed Linda all that the sub-tropical paradise of Umhlanga Rocks had to offer. They explored the seascapes, enjoyed the amazing sunrises and sunsets, sheltered from tropical storms and spent idle times learning about each other over endless cups of cappuccino or glasses of cold chardonnay at the exclusive ‘Dreamers’ restaurant.

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They devoured fresh imported oysters harvested and shipped in from the West Coast of Namibia, grilled crayfish from the Western Cape, scampi from Maputo and healthy green salads from Tongaat.

On special occasions, they sipped slow glasses of cold Veuve Clicquot enraptured with one another.

At these times she was like a child at the circus for the first time – eager, excited, impressed and wide- eyed. She babbled incessantly, sometimes pointed excitedly, often covered her mouth in awe and giggled at times. Those gorgeous green eyes twinkled and darted from one thing to another and, every now and then, when they fixed on Jacques, she would wrinkle her nose, smile knowingly and squeeze his hand tightly.

At the end of a long day of excitement she would lean her head against his shoulder and walk barefoot along the beach. Sometimes they took wine and, as the sun sank in a sleepy crimson glow below the horizon, they would cuddle and kiss lovingly in its afterglow.

Lazing on the terrace at the ’Lobster Box’ on one of these glorious sunset afternoons, overlooking the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS calm azure sea, Linda had told Jacques about her long term relationship with Clive in Cape Town – the good times, the bad times and the stormy break-up. Clive wanted to have kids and, even though he knew about her condition at the beginning of their relationship, when push came to shove, he admitted to Linda that he was going to find someone who could give him heirs.

She was devastated!

She felt betrayed and could not understand why Clive had let her invest so much of her life in a relationship which could never succeed.

She had cried quietly as she spoke and, when she had finished her story, Jacques circled around to her side of the table, wrapped his arms around her from behind, rocked her gently from side to side and held her tightly for a very long time.

Jacques could see that she was not yet over it and he resolved to replace that terrible experience with a whole lot of fun memories.

***********

Jacques said ‘Baby, I have a surprise for you. I’ve booked for a romantic supper at the Heavenly

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Bills Hotel to celebrate your birthday in style. It’s a package deal which includes for madam, a sauna, massage therapy, nails and hair followed by a fancy supper. Champagne and Sushi breakfast follows the next morning’.

The couple had not yet slept together and Jacques had no idea how Linda was going to take this arrangement. So he had just plunged right ahead.

Linda lit up, grinned and said ‘Great babe, it’s about time…………………………………………………. that I bought a new nightgown. I definitely cannot go five-star in tatty flannel. I’ll buy one to-day’.

She grinned once more and watched Jacques intently with those laughing green eyes. The sheepish Jacques was decidedly uncomfortable at his very amateurish invitation to advance the relationship.

‘Goodbye Baby’ said Jacques as he nuzzled her neck. ‘See you at the Heavenly Bills Cocktail Lounge at six. Enjoy your pampering today’

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‘You are very special to me, Jacques’ whispered Linda as they parted.

*************

Jacques sat at the Cocktail Bar at the Heavenly Bills Hotel uncomfortable in his dark suit which he hand not worn in ages. As he watched the sun fade on the Lighthouse he fiddled with the iced Mojito in front of him wondering why he had ordered it. He wondered also if he had done the right thing by buying a free spirit like Linda, a pretty necklace and he stressed that the orchid he had bought was too far over the top.

Then she was there.

She was waving from the entrance to the bar. She was a vision in a long black strapless pencil-dress that was cut low enough to reveal the tops of her tanned pert breasts. Her long blonde stresses had been piled up by her hairdresser onto her head and wisps trailed down her neck and forehead. She looked mature, sophisticated, tanned and stunning.

Jacques nearly spilled his Mojito’s as he clambered to his feet and crossed the floor from the bar to meet her. He spread his arms wide to embrace her and when he held her at arm’s length, he said ‘Linda, you are not from this planet’.

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She held him tightly and said ‘Oh yes I am and I belong to you’.

He held her face between his hands gently, looked deeply into those dancing green eyes, kissed her carefully on her perfect mouth and said ‘And I am over the moon that you do’.

They dined on love and bubbly.

After coffee and liqueurs, Linda stretched and said that she was ready to retire. The couple departed from the restaurant to the lift in each other’s arms.

Tony wandered into the lobby from his vantage point on the veranda. ‘Gee, they are so lucky’ he murmured ‘I wonder if that will ever happen to me?.

Jacques was sitting on the bed undoing his tie when she appeared from the bathroom. The short kimono that she had bought ended mid-thigh and showed off her magnificent slim, tanned legs. Jacques’s mouth went dry and his hands froze on the pesky knot in his tie.

Her eyes were ablaze as she reached up to her shoulders and, in a murmur of silk, the kimono slithered down her body and onto the carpet. She was tanned all over and her pert breasts were thrust forward arrogantly. Her nipples were dark and rigid. Her flat tummy led to a vortex of fine blonde hair that barely concealed delicate pink lips.

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Jacques sucked in air as she slowly moved towards him. ‘Having trouble with that tie there mister’ she said in a theatrical drawl ‘let me fix it for you’ As she drew close Jacques smelt the heady mixture of lavender and rampant woman. Still sitting, he embraced her around the waist and drifted gentle hands down her spine and onto her smooth buttocks. He heard her sigh.

Jacques drew her toward him and then carefully twisted her onto the bed under him. He kissed her open mouth and suckled her tongue while he scrambled out of his suit.

Her eyes were closed and her breath came in erratic pants as Jacques trailed feather fingers across her taut breasts, down her tanned stomach and between her parted thighs. When he felt the pulpy lips of her sex become slick to his touch, he followed the same route that his fingers had taken but now with his nipping and laving lips.

He licked her inner thighs and puffy lips, penetrated her with his tongue and lapped her clitoris until it was prominent and dewy. Every time he heard her rasping and moaning with excitement, he slowly returned to kissing her voluptuous mouth until she recovered her breath. She murmured more than once ‘I love you Jacques’ and he returned the affection by holding her tighter and whispering ‘I love you too lovely lady’.

When he sensed that she was close, Jacques moved between her thighs, nestled his rigid penis between her moist sex-lips and, sucking gently on her darting tongue, he penetrated her slowly to the hilt. He waited patiently for her initial gasp to subside

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS before he began, with languid strokes, to firmly and rhythmically consummate their love.

Orgasm arrived with an inaudible scream which sent her, at first rigid and later quivering, to a distant climactic ecstasy. Almost simultaneously Jacques shuddered his release and he filled his loved one completely. They slept soundly in one another’s’ arms until the pastel morning sun crept stealthily over the railing on the balcony, past their morning breakfast table and into their luxury room at the Heavenly Bills Hotel.

*******************

‘Ryan, old buddy, the time has come the walrus said to talk of many things…..’ said Jacques

‘What’s on your mind you old fart. Want to borrow my Viagra again’

‘Piss off man, I’m serious’ retorted Jacques. ‘We have been sharing this house for years now. It has been fun but the time has come to move on’ said Jacques seriously.

‘Oh! I suppose that you are going to move in with that gorgeous chick of yours. About time. I was starting to have these funny dreams about her’

‘That is the reason, she has complained that you are giving her weird looks lately’ teased Jacques.

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‘I’m cool with that and yes it has been fun. Actually I have been putting off moving in with Andrea because I thought that you would not get along without me’ smiled Ryan ‘I suppose a foursome is out of the question?’

‘Yeah right’ chuckled Jacques

*************************

Ryan threw a farewell Party for Jacques and invited all of the usual suspects.

The lads from the Lifebouy Club were there, the Girls Club pitched sans Norma, the Ladies Club demurly attended, the Sports Lovers Club arrived quaffing and immediately sought out the sports channel.

Her honour the Mayor presided, giving the opening speech and firing the gun to send the drinkers on their way.

All of those invited attended and there was only one gatecrasher. Willy, the predictable music for the day, started things off with a bang. He somehow mis-judged the turn in the driveway on arrival – and removed one of the huge gateposts.

Ryan’s family also attended and soon joined in the bohomie of the Village People in party mode.

The usual two drink allowance saw polite conversation, jovial greetings of distant friends, chit-chat and orderly debate.

Once the tanks had been filled the noise level grew appreciably, the chuckles became laughter

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS outbursts, neckties were abandoned and some started dancing around the pool. Predictably one fully clothed show-off danced in the pool.

Willy went to that place in his head where there are no gatepostses and he began to slide into a medley of hard rock numbers that made his myopic eyes water.

Beer sipping became beer quaffing then turned to wine guzzling. Wine guzzling later turned to hard stuff requiring mixers and finally the Jagermeisters was scootered in from a neighbouring village.

The engines by then were at full throttle.

Couples became singles as disgruntled partners departed home alone by taxi. Misty heads were cleared by a dip in the freezing pool and early starters to the party were seen dozing contentedly on top of cooler boxes.

A daring attempt to destroy all of the basil in a plant pot, by diving from the veranda, failed.

The neighbours were treated to a free rendition of the Afrikaans Haka performed with gargoyle immitations and grotesque tongue wagging, all at ear perforating decibel levels.

Renditions of ‘I Love A Rainy Night’ and ‘Where Do You Go To My Lovely’, sung by a tipsy wedding singer, were definitely distinguishable from the original versions.

A disorderly debate saw the early departure of one reveller who received a red card and two match suspension.

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Members of the Lifebouy Club were seen reviving fallen members of the party by administering mouth to mouth resuscitation and liberal dosages of Jagermeister.

The parking lot resembled the dodgem cars at a funfare as some of the part-goers seemed not to know whether they were coming or going.

And when it was all over Ryan and Jacques sat drunkenly with their barefeet in the pool and watched as the blistering Umhlanga sun rose to torment sleepless crimson eyes.

‘Thanks Ryan’ croaked Jacques ‘its been a blast’.

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Chapter 5 The Underbelly

Tony was whistling to himself as he passed Jochen’s Java. Suddenly a tanned arm reached out from the doorway and Tony was yanked inside the restaurant. With eyes bulging he was pushed onto a chair and was confronted by the owner of the tanned arm. ‘Jacques, whaa..t..s up?’ stammered Tony.

‘If it’s all the same to you, I will ask all the questions……….…….when my witness arrives. In a while Ryan arrived and said to Tony in a scowling voice ‘So Tony, what have you been up to’

‘I don’t know wh…aat you mean R…Ryan? stammered Tony.’

‘Tony my boy, Jacques here tells me that you have recently taken up spying far from home. You know that nobody here in the Village gives a damn if you spy because you are invisible. But spying up on the Ridge or in La Lucia – now that is another matter altogether. Care to tell me about it?

‘No I can’t. I promised’ said Tony

Ryan brought his face close to Tony’s and spoke really slowly. ‘Tony, if you do not tell me who you are working for in the next two minutes I am going to see Father Bryce’

‘No, not Father Bryce’ said Tony as he began to cry.

‘Its OK Tony, just tell Ryan here who is paying you’

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Sniffling and wiping his nose on his sleeve Tony then admitted…….. ‘The Police’

Jacques and Ryan looked quizzically at each other.

‘Do you mean Detective de Villiers here in the Village’ they asked together.

‘No, not him’ sobbed Tony ‘David Mosenke’

Jacques blew out and rubbed his head. ‘Tony, David Mosenke is not a policeman, he is an ANC Collaborator’. Jacques looked at Ryan and thumbed for him to get Tony out of there. Ryan shoved Tony out of the restaurant and pushed twenty Rand into his hand.

When he returned Jacques said ‘Jeez, Ryan I thought he was giving the information to that guy writing the book. What the hell does Mosenke want with information about people in the Village. He reports way up the tree to big hitters in the African National Congress. You haven’t been sleeping with any of Zuma’s wives have you?

‘Don’t be stupid Jacques, shall we speak to de Villiers? queried Ryan

‘I don’t think so’ said Jacques frowning ‘I don’t know whether he is sympathetic to the ANC or not’

‘Well he should be they pay his bloody salary’ grinned Ryan.

‘Perhaps we should speak to that mate of Daniel’s. The guy that turns tall people into short people’ suggested Jacques.

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‘Well, set it up then. I’ll come with you’ said Ryan stroking his two day growth.

‘Shame poor Tony, he probably has no idea. Just enjoys the money’ thought Jacques

***********

Cocaine is a purified extract from the leaves of the Erythroxylum coca bush. This plant grows in the Andes region of South America. Different chemical processes produce two main forms of cocaine – coke which is snorted or injected and crack which may be smoked. It is an expensive way of getting high and has a mystique and an unfortunate cult following. Called the caviar of street drugs, cocaine is seen as the status drug of many movie stars, sports and political celebrities, fashion models and stock market traders. Cocaine has powerful negative effects on the heart, brain, and emotions. Many cocaine users fall prey to addiction, with long-term and life threatening consequences. Even occasional users run the risk of sudden death.

In a euphoric place like the Village highs are made even higher with the recreational use of cocaine.

‘Have you ever done coke’ asked Ryan seriously.

‘Too expensive for me’ replied Jacques ‘once smoked some dagga but I’m not really a fanatic. Have all of the other vices though’.

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‘There is plenty of it going on in the Village and the other day the cops bust a gang of drug-dealers right here in Chartwell Drive’ informed Ryan.

‘I am not really surprised considering all of the goofy things that happen in this place’ said Jacques.

‘I battle to afford cigarettes. I wonder how the hell these guys can afford that stuff’ pondered Ryan. ‘You are right. I sometimes wonder how any of us can afford to drink’ said Jacques thoughtfully ‘Well stop pondering Professor Doolittle, I believe that it’s your round’ ‘Remember that chick the other day in the ‘Sizzling Steak’ who literally fell asleep at the table after only one drink. Everybody said that it looked like the effects of Rohypnol’ said Jacques returning with the drinks. ‘Isn’t that what you use to pull chicks, old man’ teased Ryan. ‘Even then he can only pull ugly ones’ chirped an arbitrary barfly. ‘Go ugly early is his motto’ chirped arbitrary barfly number two. ‘Lay off you guys I’m serious. How many of you wise guys have sisters?’ challenged Jacques. The crickets stopped their chirping and the evening grew quieter and more sober, if that were possible.

***********

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Rohypnol, more popularly known world-wide as the "Date Rape Drug", holds a very serious threat for users. It is a drug that is abused more and more especially at teenager’s house parties. Rohypnol's most active ingredient, Flunitrazepam, is an essential part of the dangerous Benzodiazepine drug type which is known world- wide for its use in various cases of rape. This drug was recently reclassified as a schedule 6 Drug and can only be obtained from a registered chemist on a written prescription from a medical professional. The drug is prescribed as a sleeping tablet.

Rohypnol has various street names of which "Rosshies" is the most popular because of the fact that the producer's name is printed on the face on the tablet. There are various cases noted in South Africa, where Rohypnol is obtained by means of forged prescriptions and sold and marketed on the street by dealers as a recreational party drug.

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Rohypnol is most often used by crushing the tablet and mixing it in powder form into drinks. It can also be taken as a tablet which severely aggravates the effects of alcohol. In other words, the person imbibing the mixture will experience an extremely dangerous level of intoxication.

The danger is when Rohypnol is mixed with a person's drink or cool drink without their knowledge. Girls' drinks are sometimes spiked with the sole intention of raping them.

It often happens that a person, who is being raped under the influence of Rohypnol, realizes that someone is busy having sexual intercourse with them but that they are unable to do anything to stop it. The next day victims cannot remember any details of how they got drunk nor how they ended up being raped nor who raped them.

It is clear that Rohypnol presents, not only in South Africa, but world-wide and especially in the USA, a serious danger to the safety of teenagers and young ladies. The use of this tablet is growing at an alarming rate and it is the intention of all legislators to curb the misuse of Rohypnol by placing it in a higher prescription schedule than the ineffective and outdated current Schedule 6 status.

Because of the random use of this tablet by young men at parties and in pubs, ladies are warned to make sure they only accept drinks from others whom they know and trust and do not leave their drinks unattended at any time.

‘The last time I was raped, I simply lay back and enjoyed it’ an arbitrary drunk chirped.

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‘Those goddam crickets are back’ said Ryan sagely.

Jacques sat for a long time pondering how much of the euphoric behavior in the Umhlanga Village, was caused by misuse of alcohol and drugs.

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Chapter 6 The Drama

‘Do you know what day it is today?’ the Colonel asked Brian the Zulu barmen at the ‘Sizzling Steak’

‘You can’t catch me Bwana Colonel, it is Guy Fawkes’.

‘No that is not correct Brian, Guy Fawkes is on the fifth of July and, before you embarrass yourself any further, it is also not the American Day of Independence even though that is, as you may know, also today’

‘No Brian, it’s the day in history one hundred and thirty five years ago that Zululand became subject to British Rule’ beamed the Colonel. ‘So, get to it then my good man. I expect superior service from you all of today Brian’

Brian chuckled as he poured the first Tom Collins for the Colonel.

‘Was the Bwana Colonel there perhaps at the time’ smiled the affable Brian

‘Bugger off Brian. You Zulus have learned nothing in one hundred and thirty five years’.

The Zulu Kingdom has always been centered on the sub-tropical South East coast of Southern Africa between the majestic Drakensberg Mountains in the North and the warm Indian

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Ocean in the South. It emerged as a powerful force in the nineteenth century under the astute command of the great Zulu warrior-king Shaka. The Zulu Nation originally had no quarrel with the British Colonialists who had founded a Colony on the southern border of Zululand in the 1840’s.

By the 1870’s Britain’s aspirations in South Africa had escalated following the discovery of huge mineral deposits in this country. As a result the British saw their neighbors in Zululand as a potential threat to their plans of domination in South Africa. When the Zulu’s failed to respond to diplomatic aggression, the British resorted to force.

Lord Chelmsford at first succeeded in overcoming smaller Zulu resistance on the Southern border. This encouraged a much larger British force to be sent into the hinterland of Zululand. This British force was camped the base of a 300 foot sandstone outcrop at Isandlwana, when they were descended upon by 25,000 Zulu warriors.

The British forces were decimated and some 1,300 soldiers lost their lives in three hours of Zulu brutality in defense of their nation.

The Zulu Nation had summoned the audacity to challenge the might of the British Empire!

The response from the colonial British Empire was exceedingly swift, vengeful and uncompromising and by the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS time the Zulu King Cetshwayo finally surrendered to the British army, under Lord Chelmsford, the Zulus had been decimated and humbled.

The once proud Zulu Nation duly capitulated to be ruled by Britain from the 4th of July, 1879.

‘Why did the British not just leave us alone, Bwana Colonel? Asked the frowning Zulu descendant called Brian.

‘Gold, my friend. The British just wanted the gold’ said the erudite Colonel.

‘Ah yes Bwana Colonel, I see, just like the Zulu muggers of today, they just want the gold. Bwana, nothing has really changed in a hundred and thirty five years’ said Brian thoughtfully as he polished a glass in readiness for the Colonel’s next Tom Collins.

‘But Colonel how come the Zulu’s are back in charge now?’ asked the affable impi.

**************

On the eighth floor of a building in the Durban Central Business District, David Mosenke was being shown into an office by an armed captain. ‘The boss will be with you shortly, do you want something to drink?’

Just then a loud voice boomed out from inside the darkened office ‘Is that you Comrade David. Come in, come in ………………………..is there any news?

**************

Jacques and Linda moved into a townhouse on the edge of the Village. It had a pool, braai area and plenty of tropical plants and vegetation in a

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS beautiful garden setting. With use of garages and a reasonable rental, it was perfect. They furnished the second bedroom as a study where the necessary work needed to keep their jobs going, could be set up. It was the closest they could come to La Boheme with a serious side.

One evening the pair strolled into the Village for supper. At Larry’s Linguini they bumped into Ray.

‘Sit down lovers, join us, we have also just arrived.

Jacques and Linda accepted the invitation to sit with Ray and his stunning date.

‘This is Germaine. She’s in love with me. What will you have to drink – I’m already pissed’. Jacques wondered if Ray had a tape recorder concealed that he secretly activated to announce all of his trivia.

‘I have good news. The lovely Germaine and I, whom I met just a few short days ago, find that we both have a Swiss connection. So, without a minute’s hesitation, we have decided to accept job offers in the same city in Switzerland. She will be moving into my brother’s place with me. Work and pleasure found all on the same bandwidth. How do you like that?’ slurred Ray.

‘Congratulations to both of you’ said Jacques and Linda simultaneously and they shook the new couples’ hands’.

‘Let’s drink to your success’ said Jacques ordering.

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‘And yours old man. I have heard that Linda has brought you back from the twilight zone. Good news for all us creditors. I understand that our chances of repayment have moved from 100/1 down to 10/1’

‘Ray those are not laughter lines on your face; they are actually ugly wrinkles’ Jacques retaliated.

Germaine did not laugh.

‘Speaks very little English’ explained the verbose Swiss immigrant-to-be. I’ll teach her everything though when we are there - English as well.

************

Daniel said ‘Jacques, Ryan this is my friend whom you asked to meet. You can call him Benny’

‘Hi Benny’ intoned the two friends ‘thanks for giving us the time’

‘Sweet’ said Benny ‘what is on your mind’

Benny was over six foot, well-built and stern. He had a fearsome reputation in the Village and was known as a bodyguard, bouncer and equalizer.

‘Just for the record I charge a thousand Rand an hour, OK’

The two nodded obediently.

Jacques and Ryan related their earlier confrontation with Tony and his mention of David Mosenke.

‘Tony is harmless’ said Benny ‘he does odd jobs and spies for David Mosenke. He does not know the difference between spying and washing windows’

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‘What is David Mosenke’s agenda?

‘No one can be sure. He is officially with the National Prosecuting Authority and more specifically the Integrity Management Unit or IMU. They are supposed to do investigations where the integrity of NPA or any of its divisions has been compromised.

With a canvas that large Mosenke is known to doodle all over the place guided by some pretty suspicious individuals.

He came off the scrapheap of the NPA Directorate of Special Operations Unit known as the ‘Scorpions’. This unit was disbanded in July 2009’ informed Benny now quite clearly on familiar territory.

‘So he is either looking for evidence to prosecute someone in the NPA or he has a hidden agenda’ asked Ryan.

Benny nodded.

‘Do we need to talk to Captain de Villiers?’ asked Jacques.

‘Captain de Villiers in the Village is a straight arrow as a policeman. He is incorruptible, smart and very perceptive. He does not approve of the security services that I offer but, if it suits his cause, he uses me for information and pays me in coffee’ said Benny frankly ‘if you want, I’ll set up a meeting with the Captain and that will be how I earn my fee’.

‘Cool’ said the two not knowing where the money was going to come from to pay Benny.

*************

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Captain de Villiers was in civilian clothes looking relaxed while he sipped coffee at Jochen’s Java. Benny, Ryan and Jacques joined him with brief handshakes. Ryan ordered.

‘So, Benny tells me you two are doing a bit of amateur detective stuff. What’s your concern, don’t you trust the police?’ he joked.

Ryan laughed nervously, cleared his throat and addressed the Captain ‘actually no, we want to stay well clear of this. We are concerned for Tony and also want to clear up where his information is going. We previously knew that he is being paid to feed tidbits to some writer in the Village who is writing a book on Umhlanga Rocks. That seemed cool and harmless but when Jacques spotted Tony spying on a drug deal going down, outside of Tony’s normal beat, he was concerned’

‘Does Tony have a car’ asked the Captain obtusely.

‘No’ intoned Ryan.

‘Then someone had to give him a ride. Someone who could be working with him’ said the Captain

‘Go on’

Ryan continued ‘Jacques and I questioned Tony and under a bit of pressure he gave up the name David Mosenke’

‘Why did you not come to me about the drug exchange’ the Captain asked Jacques.

‘Ugh, that was because I have an outstanding parking fine?’

They all laughed.

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‘Seriously though, we did not know the name David Mosenke and sought out Benny for an answer. He then set up this meeting’ said Jacques.

‘You were right to bring this to me. You have probably read about the drug bust at a house in Chartwell Drive. That is an ongoing case that we are following up on and this David Mosenke lead may have something to do with that’ said the Captain officially ‘but then again, given Mosenke’s role within the IMU, it could be a departmental breach, ugly politics, favours for gangsters or a personal vendetta. Have you guys any other questions?

‘Yes, one’ said Ryan ‘what do we do about Tony now that he knows we know about Mosenke’

‘Nothing, I will talk to Tony and assure him that you two scoundrels have been reprimanded and will not bother him again. We will do our own surveillance on Tony to see who he meets. So guys thanks but from here on butt out. Let me know directly of any other incidents that might occur’.

‘Benny, I owe you one’

With that the police Captain rose, shook hands with all and departed. Benny shook hands with the two, reminded them of their now outstanding debt and also departed.

Jacques and Ryan out breathed heavily, ordered another coffee and sat pensively for a moment.

‘How’s your credit at Jochen’s Java’ chirped Ryan at last.

‘Bloody lousy’ responded Jacques.

****************

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Jacques and Linda had chosen to have an early supper at the ‘Pickled Pork Chop’. They sat holding hands at an outdoor table on the first floor balcony overlooking the bustling Umhlanga Village. It was a warm afternoon and both had had a busy day. Time it was now to chill out and have a slow meal with a few glasses of cold Chenin Blanc.

After the sun had sunk sluggishly for the day and the waiter had lit candles on the table, Jacques asked ‘Are you feeling settled in your new home madam?’

‘Jacques, I love you and it. I am happier than I have been in a very long time’

‘Me too’ volunteered Jacques ‘more relaxed than I can remember. I really love you little one’

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‘Ditto’ smiled Linda and let Jacques do a little swimming in her deep limpid pools of green.

‘Shall we order, I’m famished? said Linda glancing through the menu ‘I’m dying for oysters’

‘Careful with those things or we will have little children running all over the place’ joked Jacques.

‘And you are……………… what………complaining?’

‘Waiter, two plates of oysters please’ he grinned

‘If you can’t beat them join them but then there might be the children thing’

‘Jacques, behave yourself, I am a lady you know’

‘And an outstandingly beautiful one at that too’

‘Jou vleier, next you will want me to pay the bill’

Jacques leaned over the candle and gently kissed her on the lips.

********************

She switched off the light and snuggled into the warm cradle of Jacques’s arms, pecked him on the cheek and whispered ‘I am so glad that I chose Umhlanga Rocks as the place to start my new life’.

********************

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King Zwelithini, the incumbent monarch of the Zulu Nation, sometimes dined in the Village. On these occasions his motorcade of expensive luxury vehicles, with their ominous darkened windows, could be seen trawling slowly through the Village down Chartwell Drive in a sort of regal fly-by. Nobody noticed, nobody saluted, nobody cheered and hardly anyone cared. The motorcade always stopped in the vicinity of the Chinese restaurant that had done business in the Village for forty years.

Locals seldom saw any other visitors dining at this particular venue during the week and therefor deduced that the King must be eating the most expensive noodles in the universe.

On the nights that King Zwelithini attended the Chinese eatery, the place was a hive of activity given the King’s six wives, eighteen children and legions of body guards.

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King Goodwill Zwelithini kaBhekuzulu became king of the Zulu Nation in 1971. Following the democratization of South Africa in 1994, the king’s position became solely symbolic, cultural and ceremonial – a Traditional Leader.

He has no role in any of the decision making processes of either the KwaZulu Natal Provincial Government or the National Assembly.

The King is however the Chairman of the Ingonyama Trust, a corporate legal entity established to administer the land historically owned by the Zulu for the benefit, material welfare and social well-being of the Zulu Nation.

The land administered by the Igonyama Trust constitutes 32% of the South African Province of KwaZulu Natal. The land area is over three million hectares and is home to four million Zulus.

Jacques wondered about the King’s predilection with Chinese food given his Zulu heritage. He also wondered how a restaurant with only one customer could survive under the same Chinese owner for forty years. And he wondered why that Chinese restaurateur still worked at age seventy eight.

Who was paying the rent?

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Jacques decided that he needed to know more. Using the internet facility at Post Net in the Lighthouse Building in the Village, he did a bit of rudimentary research.

He discovered that there had been four periods of Chinese influx to South Africa.

In the 1870’s Chinese, mainly from the Canton Province, immigrated to South Africa. Many of this group are now third and fourth generation South Africans.

In the 1970’s many Taiwanese were attracted to South Africa by incentives under the Apartheid Government’s Industrial Development Policies.

In 2000 many middle managers and professional people were attracted by the African National Congress Government to help administer the country.

After 2000 many small traders arrived from the Fujian Province in China.

He wondered where the report that he had read was, which claimed that several million Chinese from one Chinese Province had latterly entered South Africa illegally through Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Swaziland and Lesotho. The report simply was not there. That seemed to Jacques to be very strange.

Jacques found that the perception of China operating as a remorseless monolith to be untrue, as confirmed by research conducted by the Oppenheimer Family’s Brenthurst Foundation. This research found that Chinese immigrants to South Africa found endless problems in doing business with the local population and authorities

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS and they received little coordinated diplomatic or government assistance from China.

This is certainly not the popular perception.

On the Chinese investment front, he found some interesting information.

In an article written by the leading South Africa scenario planner, Clem Sunter, he noted ‘All the easy-to-find, easy-to-mine, easy-to-treat mineral and energy deposits have been found, mined and treated. We are now into the remoter deposits which require more infrastructures to get the product to the customer or more difficult deposits which require new methods of processing such as fracking. By the middle of this century this picture can only get worse which would signify that the next big technological wave, after IT, will be about improving resource utilization efficiencies as well as making substitutes such as solar energy better priced for the average consumer.

A growing scarcity of water and food is also developing which is why the Chinese are purchasing land in Africa and why nations on large rivers are beginning to be more aggressive about the way water is shared. Marine mining and offshore drilling are also being stepped up with nations quarrelling over ownership rights in places like the sea off China and Japan. Outright conflict cannot be ruled out’.

China was investing in South African mineral resources. Through the newly formed BRICS organization and directly, China was very interested in minerals. However, rather than offer beneficiation facilities to the local industry, they

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS simply shipped out the raw materials with no thought for creation of jobs for South Africans.

Elias Khumalo, a close ally of President of South Africa, Jacob Zuma, had infamously invested R600 million into the Aurora Gold Mine in Orkney. The money had emanated from a rich Shanghai based business partner and was invested through Khumalo’s company, BEK Holdings.

A former trade unionist and now Zuma’s personal adviser, Elias Khumalo had seen his influence grow steadily after Zuma’s dismissal as vice-president of South Africa by Thabo Mbeki, then the President of South Africa. He first made contact with Zuma in 1993 as a member of a “concerned Zulu” group seeking help in negotiating an end to KwaZulu- Natal’s political violence. He has since moved into the world of black economic empowerment (BEE), co-founding information technology company Multi-consult. Zuma delivered the keynote address at the company’s launch at a Durban hotel in the late 1990s.

A Zuma family member had infamously been involved in that Orkney investment, which turned out to be a debacle of asset stripping and illegal mining with dire consequences for those who were employed by the mine.

Now Jacques found that the Pengxin Group from Shanghai Province, which had been the earlier investor in BEK Holdings, and had interests in real estate, infrastructural development, hotels,

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS agribusiness, mining and equities, had been allocated 50,000 hectares of land to do agribusiness. This is King Goodwill Zwelithini’s neck of the woods and the home of the Ingonyama Trust, chaired by the good Zulu king. BEK director Dr Reuben Govender confirmed to the City Press newspaper that BEK had secured approval from the provincial cooperative governance and traditional affairs department to make use of the 50, 000 hectares of this land owned by the Ingonyama Trust.

The word ‘allocated’ bothered Jacques. Did ‘allocated’ require any payment to be made or was a piece of Ingonyama Trust land in KwaZulu Natal simply being given away to China?’

The name Elias Khumalo once again popped up in the 2013 announcement of Shanghai Province’s new investment plans for KwaZulu Natal.

Kenneth Wang, a director at the Shanghai Pengxin Group, together with the KwaZulu Natal’s Economic Development and Tourism MEC, Mike Mabuyakhulu and Elias Khumalo, head of BEK Holdings, had signed a new FDI (Foreign Direct Investment) agreement with the Shanghai Company.

Speaking at the announcement of the Shanghai Pengxin Group deal, Mabuyakhulu said their investment plan of between $150 million and $200m (R1.4bn and R1.8bn) in KZN would unlock

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS business opportunities in the hotel, development infrastructure and agri-processing sectors.

Under the Co-operation Agreement contemplated between the Shanghai Province and the Province of KwaZulu Natal, nineteen factories involved in the clothing, steel furniture manufacture and the electrical appliance manufacturing industries have been targeted for investment.

The KwaZulu-Natal Provincial Government participated in the South Africa - China 10 year diplomatic relations celebrations in Beijing and Shanghai recently. The delegation from KZN was led by MEC for Education, Ms Ina Cronjé, MEC for Arts, Culture and Tourism, Mrs Weziwe Thusi, the Director- General: Dr Kwazi Mbanjwa and Head of Departments of Education, Cassius R Lubisi [PhD] and Arts Culture and Tourism, Mrs C N Khumalo.

China has been prioritized in the KwaZulu-Natal international relations agenda in order to establish a comprehensive set of partnerships with selected provinces. The aim of the visit was to build on the already identified projects as well as to establish links and identify opportunities in skills exchange.

‘This is a humongous investment right here under our noses’ thought Jacques and he wondered ‘was David Mosenke somehow involved with Elias Khumalo?’. Also, was it agribusiness that the good king, the old restaurateur, the mining magnate, the Zuma family and their Chinese mates were planning or just some more monkeybusiness.

He left the Post Net facility in the Lighthouse Building perplexed. Politics or drugs?

**************

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Ryan was from a wealthy family and had gone to an expensive private school in Kimberly. He became a man overnight on the South African border, defending his country against the forces of evil.

Communism, ‘die swart gevaar’ and green Cuban gremlins with machine guns were stories exaggerated by the government of the day to convince voters that there were indeed evil forces at work. This was simply to advance Apartheid idealism and ambitions within the borders of South Africa.

The government of the day put the lives of the youth of the nation at risk defending a policy which was untenable. That stupidity tore a hole in the class of 1972 onwards as many young people of Ryan’s age, who had hardly had a date or slept with a girl, were senselessly mowed down in the lonely and arid west coast deserts of Africa.

Before being dragged into war at age nineteen Ryan had been a star cricketer and had earned provincial colours at school level. He made it through the senseless war to marry his first sweetheart from his schooldays. Three children and twenty six years later Ryan divorced.

He had moved to Umhlanga and by the time he came to share digs with Jacques, he worked out that he had been in the Village for fifteen years. Now that Jacques had moved on with Linda, Ryan wondered if it was time for him to settle down. Andrea was a lovely lady with whom he had been going out for about six months. It was decision time.

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*************

‘Mr. Mosenke, they know’ trembled Tony.

‘Who are they, Tony, and don’t be frightened’ soothed Mosenke.

‘The Police, Mr. Mosenke, Captain de Villiers came to see me’

‘What did he want, Tony’ asked Mosenke.

‘Somehow he knew that I was giving information to you, Mr. Mosenke. I don’t know how but he knew’ Tony lied.

‘It does not matter anymore’ said Mosenke to Tony’s relief. ‘But I have one more job for you. Here is R500 for you to get a copy of all of the information that you have passed to that writer friend of yours. I don’t care how you do it, just meet me here same time next week and don’t arrive without a copy of his notes. Now go Tony. You don’t need to watch the drug deals anymore but those writer’s notes are very important. Don’t let me down’.

With that the tinted window slid silently up and the black four by four seamlessly merged with the crawling traffic in Chartwell Drive.

‘Oh dear! How am I going to get those notes from my writer friend?’ wailed Tony as he put the crisp new banknotes in his billfold.

Captain de Villiers moved unseen out of the ticket hut at the parking garage exit boom and headed for his office.

*****************

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‘Look how much weight that you have lost. You have got all of your curves back’ said Jacques as he got a huge smooch from the now trim Mary. ‘How did your trip go?’

Danny, her boyfriend, was an experienced yachtsman and had trained Mary for six months before undertaking the trip which had taken them halfway around the world on a twenty two meter ocean going yacht.

‘It was so cool and I am really pleased with all the weight I lost, I’m determined to keep it off now. Dave and I saw so many new and fascinating new things and places’ said an excited Mary ‘I will fill you in on everything but first a white wine s’il vous plait maitre d’hotel’.

‘And what have you been up to, you scoundrel’ Mary teased Jacques.

‘Hope you behaved while I was gone’

‘You know that for you, bella, I killa da bull. For a your a sista I killa you’ joked Jacques.

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‘What’s changed in the Village while we have been gone’ asked Mary inquisitively.

‘Same circus different tent’ drawled Jacques ‘except that I have moved into Ocean View across the road’.

‘Did you and Ryan have a fall out’ asked Mary concerned.

‘Well no, you might say we had a fall in’ said Jacques ‘I have moved in with a new lady and Jacques is thinking of moving in with Andrea’

‘My goodness! I can’t leave you two for a minute and you go off the rails’ chirped Mary ‘So who is the lady – someone that I know’

‘No, Linda is from Cape Town, you will meet her soon’ said Jacques leaving.

Mary landed another smooch and, brandishing her empty glass above her head, she yelled ‘Another white wine s’il vous plait maitre d’hotel’

*************

Umhlanga, and specifically the former sugarcane fields of Umhlanga Ridge, has become the focus of development eastwards from the greater Durban area with many businesses relocating offices from central Durban to La Lucia and Umhlanga Ridge, similar to Sandton now forming the new centre of Johannesburg. This movement has been criticized by many for ‘fragmenting the urban fabric of Durban and furthering the new apartheid’

In 2010, Durban International Airport was moved to La Mercy, near Umhlanga, and reopened as King Shaka International Airport.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

Umhlanga Village, Umhlanga Ridge, La Lucia, Conubia and Sibaya, once linked by the new Ridgeview project, will consolidate Umhlanga into the new central hub of KwaZulu Natal. Business, communications, logistics and residential communities will be in easier reach of the old Zululand precinct of King Zwelithini and the Ingonyama Trust.

The Chinese have noticed and have investment ambitions in this development node of KwaZulu Natal. Jacques pondered if this was the prize that all the prominent players, appearing suddenly on his radar screen, were seeking.

***********

On the 28th of March 2013 announcing a $300 million investment Khumalo said that the Shanghai based Pengxin Group would split it $150m for KZN projects and the $150m for the Orkney mine. They were awaiting an approval from the Treasury for they had submitted the Foreign Direct Investment application. Khumalo said the $150m earmarked for KZN was for a hotel project and other infrastructural investments. They are considering the Dube City precinct at Dube Trade Port for a five- star hotel. ‘They have seen the council’s plans for Dube Trade Port and they are very excited. They have also developed plans and

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS a business case for a major hotel there. It makes sense for us to come in with much of the foundation work already done’ said Khumalo. A Chinese spokesman elaborated ‘We are looking to bring in the luxury Bayan Tree Hotels and Resorts brand to be Shanghai Pengxin Group’s first hotel project in South Africa.’ ‘Bayan Tree is a strong emerging hotel operator based in Singapore and has a number of new hotels across China and other parts of Asia. Shanghai Pengxin Group already has a relationship with Bayan Tree operating their property in Shanghai’ said Khumalo. ************

Captain de Villiers said ‘Found any more spooks yet, Jacques’. He was sitting, one leg crooked over the other, enjoying a coffee at Jochen’s Java. ‘Join me’ he said pushing out a chair with his foot.

‘Officer I would just like you to know that I have now settled that outstanding fine’ said Jacques sitting.

‘OK, no need for any arrests then’ laughed the Captain.

‘Seriously though Jacques, has anything else come up on David Mosenke’

‘Not a thing. Tony seems to be washing a lot more windows though’

The Captain laughed ‘I did have a little chat to our super spy but he did not have anything useful to say. Mosenke must be doing legitimate work for the Integrity Management Unit’

Jacques was silent.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘Something on your mind Jacques’

‘Naah, a hunch, more spooks’ said Jacques.

‘Go ahead, tell me I’m interested’ said the Captain leaning forward.

‘It’s a theory in progress and I can’t really substantiate it’ deferred Jacques.

The Captain pressed ‘so tell me your theory’.

Jacques gathered his thoughts, had second thoughts but then decided to proceed.

‘What if David Mosenke was moonlighting for Elias Khumalo’.

The Captain tugged at his goatee, slowly stirred his coffee looking deeply into his cup, blew out audibly and then looked Jacques directly in the eyes ‘Juslaaik man, waarvan praat jy nou’

‘I told you that it was just my overactive imagination’ said Jacques.

‘Daaie ‘overactive’ ding van jou gaan jou in the moeilikheid beland, ou pal but tell me anyway’ continued the Captain shaking his head slowly from side to side.

Jacques, feeling a little foolish, raced through his story starting with Tony, Dave Mosenke, drugs, the internet research, Elias Khumalo, King Goodwill Zwelithini, the old Chinaman, Orkney Gold Mine,

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

Shanghai, Pengxin, the Zuma link and his research on the Umhlanga Development Node.

‘That can’t be all’ said the Captain ‘you left out Jiminy Cricket and Julius Malema’

‘I told it was just theory’ defended Jacques.

‘More like Hollywood’ smiled the Captain………. ‘but…………………………………………………I like it’

‘Whaaat’ said a high pitched Jacques.

‘Your story ties into something that I am working on which I unfortunately cannot share with you for security reasons’. Your theory is seriously interesting and you should continue thinking along those lines’

‘Is there money involved’ said Jacques perking up.

‘Not for you unfortunately’ laughed the Captain ‘but I will pick up the tab for the coffees today’.

Jacques shook hands with the Captain and left Jochen’s Java very much more perplexed than when he had arrived.

*****************

‘Jacques baby, where have you been’ cooed Linda

She had just washed her hair and it hung down onto her face in fine gold ringlets. Her emerald eyes peeked at him from below long dark lashes. She smelled like fresh lemongrass and jasmine. Her lips puckered in a ‘my lipstick has just been applied’ pout. The bathrobe was tucked up to her armpits and her taut breasts peeked over the top of the towel. It took Jacques a while to draw himself back

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS from that place which was demanding his urgent attention.

‘With Captain de Villiers’ he sighed

‘Nothing serious, I hope’ she said brushing out those long gold stresses.

‘No love, just coffee and a routine discussion’ said Jacques crossing his legs and avoiding looking at the cute little rump in front of him.

She bounced across the room, hair flying, grabbed his face between her hands, squeezed his lips into a pucker, kissed him and said ‘Later, after we have got back from the restaurant. I am keen to meet your friends Dave and Mary.

‘There will be dancing and I will feel like a tripod all evening’ moaned Jacques. ‘Poor little baby’ clucked Linda ‘anticipation, imagination and delay will give impetus to that lust. Be a good boy now and get ready’

‘I am ready’ said Jacques perking up again

‘I meant for the party you horny little goat’

There was dancing and drinking and frivolity. The foursome got on like a house on fire. Mary took to Linda and the two chatted and laughed all evening.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

Jacques and Linda heard all about the couple’s world sailing adventure, ate delicious food and danced occasionally. Late that night the new friends said their cheerful goodbyes and arranged to meet again.

Jacques clasped Linda’s hand, gave her his own green eye treatment and whispered in her ear ‘alone at last’

She giggled and said ‘ditto’

*******************

Jacques was still perplexed about Mosenke, Khumalo and Pengxin. He knew instinctively that he was on track to uncover something about their agenda and their connection to Zwelithini, Zuma et al. He wondered what Captain de Villiers knew and could not tell him and how this all affected bohemian Umhlanga Rocks. He had so many questions and so few answers. He returned to the Post Net Facility to do more research.

**************

Before 1994 South Africa followed a ‘Two China’ policy recognizing both Taiwan and The People’s Republic of China. In 1998 they dropped their two country stance in favour of support for only the latter. This was after the collapse of the Soviet Union, the People’s Republic of China’s arch communist enemy and after the dismantling of the previous Apartheid Regime in South Africa. This opened up the possibility of discourse between the two nations and Official Relations were established between the two countries in January 1998.

By 2010 trade had increased to $25,6 billion annually and in the same year South Africa was

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS invited to join the Developing Country Forum known as BRICS.

In 2011 The People’s Republic of China and South Africa signed a Memorandum of Understanding on geological exploration and mineral resources.

The People’s Republic of China had been accused of funding the African National Congress in the 2009 elections at which Zuma prevailed. Others similarly accused of illegally funding those elections included the Congress Party of India, Colonel Qaddafi of Libya and the oil-rich country known as Equatorial Guinea. Some four and a half years later President Zuma may be forced to answer opposition parties’ call to have him impeached over improper conduct on the R246 million building of his personal residence, Nkandla, with public funds and with a beneficial lease from the Ingonyama Trust chaired by King Goodwill Zwelithini.

South Africa today has the largest number of resident Chinese of any country on the African Continent.

Underpinning much of the criticism of China's role in Africa is the claim that they are only interested in extractive industries and are plundering the continent's vast resources. They've attracted prominent critics, notably the Nigerian Central Bank Governor Lamido Sanusi. ‘Africa is now willingly opening itself up to a new form of imperialism,’ Sanusi wrote. ‘China is no longer a

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS fellow under-developed economy - it is the world's second-biggest economy, capable of the same forms of exploitation as the west. It is a significant contributor to Africa's deindustrialization and underdevelopment’.

Damian Grammatikas, of the BBC’s Chinese Desk raises further concerns about bi-lateral trade between China and many African countries. He says that this is not an equal exchange, he has concerns that the investment deals are opaque and open to corruption, that Chinese infrastructure projects often import Chinese labour rather than developing local skills, that Chinese firms may exploit local workers, that cheap Chinese products undermine Africa's ability to build its own industries, that for all the new roads, railways and ports, this is not a mutually beneficial relationship.

Yoon Jung Park, a Senior Researcher at the Centre for Sociological Research at the University of Johannesburg reported:

‘Continued media representations of the ‘Chinese Invasion and Neo-colonization of Africa’ contribute to a negative perspective of all Chinese on the African Continent. The large number of legal and illegal Chinese immigrants from mainland China will continue to change the South African social, economic and political landscape’.

Jacques slumped back in the chair at the Post Net Internet Facility. His mind was racing and it was becoming abundantly clear to him what this was all about. He felt sure that drugs were a tangential but unrelated element.

The real issue was whether the Umhlanga Region was being targeted as part of a new Chinese Canton.

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The thought was untenable but the coincidences were simply too many in number.

The former territory of Zululand, annexed by the British in the first wave of colonialism one hundred and thirty five years ago, was again being targeted in 2013 by new foreigners in the second foreign wave of colonization.

Jacques switched off the computer and stared at the blackened screen. He summarized his findings in his head:

>The old Zululand region clearly defined by history, culture and ethnicity.

>A Zulu, who happened to be the President of the Republic of South Africa and who was able to use Public Funds amounting to R246 million, for his own benefit in Nkandla.

>A traditional titular head in charge of 32% of the land area of KwaZulu Natal, the second biggest economy in South Africa, with control of four million, mostly out of work, Zulus. As Chairman of the Ingonyama Trust King Goodwill Zwelithini had allowed the President of South Africa to lease land on benign terms to the detriment of the Zulu Nation.

>An arable land mass of over three million hectares.

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>A booming area receiving new infrastructural development and becoming more distant and less reliant on the traditional port city of Durban

>A new airport and modern logistics hub and burgeoning industrialization programme called the KwaZulu Natal Northern Growth Corridor moving ever northwards towards Ulundi, Nkandla and the port of Richards Bay.

>A mineral exporting harbor at Richards Bay falling within the target area and currently receiving massive upgrades.

>A convenient illegal immigrant corridor through the independent neighboring countries of Swaziland, Lesotho and Mozambique.

>A burgeoning tourism destination.

>An incomparable climate

This would all be very attractive to an incoming investor, colonialist or both.

****************

China has spent nearly $100 billion in African projects over the last decade. In an interview with Agence France-Press recently published, a long-time activist, who had spent most of her life on the African Continent, compared this Chinese investment with old-school British colonialism. ‘In Africa, is China merely doing what the European colonialists did? They want raw materials for their economic growth, just as the earlier colonialists did when they went into Africa and took most of the natural resources leaving the local people poorer’

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Between 2000 and 2011, China spent more than $73 billion investing in natural resources, mines, oil wells and other projects in Africa, according to statistics from Aid Data and the Centre for Global Development in the map shown above.

HHoly crap this is too big for me alone’ thought Jacques ‘I must find out what Captain de Villiers knows’.

He hastily gathered his research notes, looked to see if he was being watched and, as the coast seemed clear, he left the Post Net Facility shaking badly.

************

‘Bloody hell Rosy’ flustered the Colonel ‘where have you been?’

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‘I have been at the doctor’ said Rosy quietly’

‘What’s the matter, are you sick’ enquired the Colonel

‘No’ said Rosy still quietly

‘We must go to lunch. Where do you want to go? Shall we do the Outlook today? I’m tired of the Pickled Pork Chop and Tung Thaid’ suggested the Colonel.

‘Anywhere, I am not fussy’ murmured Rosy pre- occupied

‘All right that is settled then. The Outlook it is, I am ravished’ said the Colonel satisfied ‘shall we go, it’s getting late’

‘Bloody hell Rosy, you are pale and quiet. Is everything all right? What did the doctor say?’

The Colonel looked over the top of his spectacles expectantly ‘Come on Rosy, spit it out. You are being very obtuse today and it’s getting late’

‘Ok Colonel’ said Rosy ‘but please sit down first and listen carefully’

The Colonel puffed, looked at his watch and said ‘Ok Rosy, I am sitting now, what is it’

‘Colonel, you are going to be a father again’

***************

Jacques phoned Captain de Villiers on his cell.

‘Captain, I need to see you urgently. As you requested I have continued with my research and I don’t like where this is headed’

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‘All right Jacques but will you please calm down. I can see you at four at our usual table at Jochen’s Java’ said the calm officer.

‘Captain, the time for being coy is over. I will share the information that I have only if you disclose the data you would not share before’

‘Jeez, you are excited, blackmailing and bolshie. You haven’t been smoking anything have you Jacques?’

‘No, see you at four’ said Jacques and cut the call.

************

Jacques read the report which the Captain had thrown with disdain onto the table at Jochen’s Java. The Captain quietly sipped his coffee while Jacques scoured the report intently.

China has made a great deal of investment into infrastructure, energy and resources in Africa in the last decade. Many of the largest projects were oil-related. For instance, a $5.38 billion project in Nigeria that involved infrastructure in exchange for

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS preferential oil rights bidding, or $4.04 billion spent in Mauritania for oil exploration, sewage systems, iron mine and roads.

From 2000 to 2011, there are approximately 65 Chinese official development finance projects identified in Kenya through various media reports. These projects range from a 108 million USD grant from Chinese government to build the North and East Ring Road sections in Nairobi, to a concessional loan to finance the construction of the Kenyatta University Teaching, Research and Referral Hospital Project in 2011. An increasing number of Chinese companies are seeking business opportunities in Kenya, amid the African country's efforts to push ahead with industrialization. Chinese investors are eyeing sectors such as property, tourism, hotel and infrastructure construction in east Africa's largest economy. Jacques contained his excitement and read on: Yu Wu, director of investment and business development at Beijing Hasan International Investment Management Co Ltd, told China Daily that Chinese firms are showing great interest in the country, especially in sectors related to tourism. ‘Investing in Africa, including Kenya, has great potential and we feel lucky that we're going there earlier and have found many business opportunities’, said Yu at the Kenya-China Investment and Business Forum, held in Beijing. President Xi had earlier congratulated Kenyatta on his election victory, saying, ‘I believe, given your vigour and vitality, you should be able to lead the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

Kenyan people in registering even greater accomplishments on the road ahead toward your national development’. ‘China would like to continue measures to increase imports from Kenya and promote a balanced growth of bilateral trade’ the President had said. He urged both sides to strengthen cooperation in special economic zone construction, agriculture, wildlife protection and fighting cross-border crime. Kenyatta said his country, which is committed to realizing industrialization and improving people's living conditions, wants to learn from China's development, as the two countries share similar historical experiences and visions for the future. China has become Kenya's largest source of foreign direct investment and second-largest trade partner. By June, China's cumulative direct investment in Kenya had reached $474 million. The bilateral trade volume reached $2.84 billion last year. ‘Kenya, an important bond between China and Africa, also hopes China, a strong and true friend, will play a bigger role in promoting Africa's peace and prosperity’, said Kenyatta Jacques finished reading the document, took a sip of his cold coffee and said to the Captain. ‘We are on the same page. The same pattern, same modus operandi and same blur between foreign aid, business opportunism and outright colonisation’. ‘Meneer, I think we are in the poo’ said Jacques as he handed the file with his own findings to the Captain as agreed.

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The Captain weighed Jacques’s report in his hand and said seriously ‘Jacques, I will take a day or two to absorb this and then we can meet again’ The two shook hands and the Captain said ‘Good work Jacques and thanks. Oh and by the way your girlfriend Juanita has had a warrant issued for her arrest for dealing in drugs. Prepare yourself to testify’ Jacques said over his shoulder ‘Still no money I suppose, only coffee’ The Captain laughed. **********************

‘How are you and Linda getting on in your new place’ asked Ryan

‘No you can’t come and live there’ responded Jacques

‘Seriously Jacques, I’m thinking of moving in with Andrea’

‘Well at your age there are not many Christmases left so you better decide soon’

‘Jacques we have each had long periods of marriage in our respective lives and I don’t know if I am up for that again’

‘Since you seem to be asking for my advice, here it is. Andrea is a lovely lady with good motives, a strong work ethic and a solid religion, has a fun nature, is good looking and is a good homemaker. Knowing your sleazy habits, she must also be good in the sack. So, I really can’t see why you are dithering about. If it’s your good-looking playboy

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS image that you are concerned about losing, then latest census in the Village is, sadly, that you are over the hill and should be put to stud’.

‘Jeez, and I thought you were my mate’ cringed Ryan ‘when you give your opinion it’s with both barrels.

‘Sorry buddy but you did want the truth?’

‘I know and thanks, my mind is made up’ said Ryan

‘So you are going to ask Andrea?’ said Jacques.

‘No, I have decided that I don’t want you as a friend any more’

They both laughed.

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Chapter 7 The Outcome

______

‘Are you into jokes, Jacques’ asked the Captain as he sat down at Jochen’s Java?

‘Ja, I enjoy a good joke, Captain’ said Jacques.

‘Well here is one for you. Neighbors, one English the other a Boer have a son and daughter respectively.

The youngsters go out on a date and are not at home on time. The two concerned and angry fathers, in their gowns and slippers, confer over the fence.

‘Jannie, you drive to the Club and see if they went there perhaps, I’ll check out the roadhouse’.

‘Goed so, Peter. We can meet at the Police Station at four to compare notes’

At four on the dot the two now desperate fathers meet at the Police Station.

‘Nothing’ says Peter.

‘Also nothing’ says Jannie.

‘We must look some more. The dawn is nigh’ says Peter

‘Ja, ek weet, maar waar?’ says Jannie.

They both laughed heartily and then sipped their coffees thoughtfully.

‘This business is like the joke’ said the Captain finally ‘we both have separately come to the conclusion that the buggers are having sex but

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘where’ is the burning question. And how do we prove it’.

Jacques rationalized ‘Even then who is going to prosecute? The NPA? The IMU? They may also be implicated in the thing and then attempt to cover it up. Do we go the political route through Parliament to expose it or do we rely on the famous Fourth Pillar of Democracy – the Press’.

‘First we have to prove that there is something to prosecute. This whole saga may all just be what South Africa needs – bona fide Foreign Direct Investment – without which we as a country are screwed anyway’.

‘I agree’ said Jacques ‘the British blurred the boundaries between colonization, foreign aid and outright piracy for their entire tenure in this country. This time it is not only South Africa involved but there are new insurgencies by the Chinese in most of the fifty four countries on the African Continent’.

‘Then who ya gonna call’ said the Captain trying to lighten the conversation.

‘Ghostbusters’ said Jacques realizing that he was getting a bit carried away.

‘Where do we start Captain?’ asked Jacques

‘Roles’ said the Captain ‘is where we start. I am a Commissioned Officer in the South African Police.

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Above me is a truckload of prosecuting authorities and security agencies and even organizations overseeing those State Institutions? If this becomes official, then I am duty bound to disclose my findings which will have every chance of being covered up or made to go away. So the official route is out. By not going the official route I run the risk of dereliction of duty and perhaps even treason. So, my friend, my hands are tied’

‘Where does that leave me?’ asked Jacques

‘It leaves you as an inquisitive concerned citizen, patriotic to his country, who doesn’t want that country to be sold out to foreigners. The only guys that will be sympathetic to helping you in that cause would seem to be the Fourth Pillar.

‘So basically I’m on my own then’ said Jacques

‘Not entirely, there is at least one other concerned citizen’ said the Captain

‘Who is that’ said Jacques

‘Johannes Gerhardus de Villiers’ said the Captain.

Jacques rose, shook the Captain’s hand, nodded his understanding and said ‘Totsiens Johan, ek sal jou bel’.

*********************

Before Jacques could contact Johan he got a call from the concerned citizen. ‘Good evening Jacques. I cannot talk long, so take down this number and list it under the name of the ‘guys ya gonna call’. Then delete this record. Meet me at Larry’s, not Jochen’s, at four tomorrow. Must go. Cheers’. Jacques entered the number under ‘ghostbusters’

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS in his phone and then deleted the Captain’s previous number and the record of all calls made to and received from that number.

***************

The next day Jacques got to Larry’s Linguini first and chose a table outside at the very back of the restaurant. Johan arrived a few minutes later and, while tugging off his sports jacket, he threw a dossier on the table.

‘What’s this Johan’ said Jacques shaking the concerned citizen’s hand as he sat.

‘Our little spy’s file’

‘Do you mean Tony?’

‘Yes’ said Johan.

‘The other day I was watching from the parking cubicle to see who our little friend was waiting to meet. It turned out to be David Mosenke. I saw money changing hands so I knew Mosenke wasn’t on a social visit. I then called Tony to come to the station to see me. He was a nervous wreck when he got there. He admitted to getting paid R500 from Mosenke for………wait for this……………the notes on events and people that Tony had been passing to the mysterious writer.

Long story, short, I have contacted the writer, have his undertaking of silence and his permission to copy all of his notes.

So Sherlock Holmes, your copy is in the file in front of you. Figure it out. Johan sat back pleased with his achievement and was moved enough to order two beers for the table.

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Jacques rattled through the notes very quickly while they waited for beers to arrive. ‘Hope he is not planning to get rich on this book, it looks like a bunch of drivel to me’.

‘Jacques’ said Johan taking a long sip of the ice cold beer ‘when you see a fin in the water you shout ‘Shark! Shark! How do you know that it is in fact a shark? Don’t answer that. You know because you

have seen pictures before, had lessons in school, have seen it with your own eyes at the Aquarium and have heard stories at the Sharks Board about it.

The writer’s notes are the shark’s fin; it is what lies below the surface that will determine the value of the notes and you have to find it’.

‘Thanks a lot for that’ said Jacques sarcastically ‘I have no idea where to begin’

‘The beginning would be a good place’ grinned Johan ‘and read slowly and often Mr. Holmes’.

‘Is Tony in any danger now that we have the same notes that Mosenke will receive?’ asked Jacques concerned.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘I don’t think so but I took the precaution of getting him a job on my brother’s farm in Dullstroom. Tony will be out of the picture for a while’ said Johan

The two finished their beers, shook hands and departed in opposite directions.

**************

For the next few days Jacques labored over the notes that had been intercepted between Tony and David Mosenke. They were an eclectic collection of misspelt names, misspelt places, dis-connected events and juvenile rubbish.

Tony had obviously been given neither any direction nor any particular targets to spy on and had simply therefore spied on everyone in the Village. Jacque tried to detect patterns, tried to make significance out of dates, tried to connect groups of people. Unfortunately the information appeared quite random.

‘What could David Mosenke possibly want with all of this rubbish’ wondered a baffled and weary Jacques after three days of futile effort.

Early on the fourth day, before Jacques began his umpteenth trawl of the notes, he gathered the entire sheaf of notes to knock them on the table to align them. As he did this he noticed one page had drifted slightly out of alignment. In attempting to straighten the delinquent page Jacques opened the sheaf at that place and read the contents. The page was slightly shorter than the other pages but, as expected it contained nothing of interest. Jacques did notice that the page was thicker than the rest of the pages. Inquisitive, he turned the page over. It was typed on an IMU letterhead. Jacques read the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS contents but it was just a routine memo between David Mosenke and some other operative called Vusi Twala. ‘The Memo must have mistakenly ended up in Tony’s notes whilst Mosenke was reading them’ thought Jacques.

Despondent, he was about to turn the page when he noticed a name scribbled in pencil near the bottom of the memo. It said simply ‘Cornubia’

****************

‘Ok boetie, spit it out’ said Johan ‘we are off the record’

Jacques took a gulp of tea and began ‘I think David Mosenke is not deployed by the IMU but is moonlighting for a person or persons unknown. The motivation is Cornubia, the new area just down the road, and the opportunities that development might throw up in the Umhlanga Rocks Village.

‘What opportunities’ questioned an anxious looking Johan.

‘Johan, we both know that the Village is highly sought after by wealthy and retired, mainly white, locals and ex patriots. It is also the favored destination of well-heeled local and foreign tourists. The tone of the village is highly cosmopolitan, upmarket and sophisticated. The Cornubia development may cause an influx of lower income people which will cause a degeneration of the spirit and image of the flagship retirement and tourist destination Umhlanga Rocks and throw up opportunities for new incoming investors’.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘On the subject of person or persons unknown’ Jacques continued ‘I am hazarding a guess that ‘deep throat’ is Elias Khumalo for and behalf of the Nkandla Architect and Pengxin. You know of course where that axis leads – the Nkandla Owner and the Chinese Premier’. Between the evidence and the president stands one man, Zuma’s private architect, Minenhle Makhanya. He became, according to a recent report, the go- between and de facto principal agent of the government in its implementation of the “security upgrades” at Nkandla after Zuma introduced him to the official government team. The report said officials with the responsibility to control spending on the project bowed to the will of Makhanya, believing he was in constant touch with Zuma, and afraid that questioning him would be construed as defying the president. In the face of this predicament, almost every official involved, with the notable exception of the Public Works Department’s top quantity surveyor, threw up their hands and allowed the scope and

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS costs of the project to escalate without limit – from an initial estimate of R27m to R246m when all has been said and, obscenely, done. In his written submission, one of the official project managers stated that Mr Makhanya became the de facto project manager and that it was difficult to exercise control over him, leading to a case of ‘the tail wagging the dog’. It is not difficult to comprehend why government officials, particularly at a fairly low level of the food chain, would have difficulty controlling a consultant who was presented by and claims to speak with the president’s concurrence or authority. My opinion is that even a cabinet minister could have had difficulty countermanding Mr Makhanya. While minutes of meetings show Makhanya was repeatedly given the task of getting Zuma’s approval for measures like the swimming pool and the landscaping, there is no documentary evidence, other than further minutes suggesting the president had agreed, to show he was properly kept in the loop. The president, the architect, the ambassador and the president’s financial adviser – this is a familiar template. ‘Further research threw up a press representative’s summary of similar other Zuma shenanigans in the past’ explained Jacques

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When wedding guests of Zuma’s benefactors and friends, the Gupta family, took the astonishing liberty of landing at a South African military air base, in a breach of national security, the principal blame quickly settled on one man: chief of state protocol Vusi Koloane. As in the case of Nkandla, an interministerial investigation was launched in the face of snowballing public indignation. It concluded, in the words, again, of Cabinet Minister Radebe, that Koloane and senior SA Air Force official Christine Anderson had acted on their own, while giving the impression they were under instructions from “Number 1”. Anderson has subsequently confirmed this referred to Zuma but, in the proceedings of a military board of inquiry, has argued Koloane told her Zuma had authorised the landing. Radebe told Parliament the two were neither ‘fall guys’ nor ‘scapegoats’, but ‘masters of this manipulation of process’. Koloane, in an internal disciplinary process, pleaded guilty to charges including abusing state diplomatic channels by facilitating an illegal request for the aircraft carrying the Gupta wedding guests to land at the base, misrepresenting facts to facilitate the illegal landing and compromising the processes and procedures of the Department of International Relations and Co-Operation. He was demoted and served with a final warning. The board of inquiry has not yet finalised Anderson’s case, but the charges have been substantially revised since Radebe claimed she was a principal actor in the scandal, dubbed Guptagate.

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The man who may feel hardest done by through Zuma, is Schabir Shaik, his one-time financial adviser. He was convicted on charges, among others, of soliciting a bribe on Zuma’s behalf from Arms Deal beneficiary Thales. Zuma was later indicted, among more than 700 other charges, on a main charge of benefiting in a corrupt manner to the tune of about R1.3m from his relationship with Shaik. The corruption charges against Zuma were controversially dropped by the National Prosecuting Authority shortly before the 2009 elections, in which he stood as the ANC’s top candidate. Today, he is once more Number One on its list. ***************** ‘So you see Johan there is a familiar pattern to all of Zuma’s corruption and deceit’ said Jacques.

‘Jeez, why don’t you just go right to the top? You understand of course that your assertions are so dangerous that they could come after you’ said Johan.

‘You send me out to catch a shark and then, when I’ve hooked it, you want to throw it back?’

‘Waiter, we need something stronger than tea over here. Two double spook and diesels, no pun intended’ said a very serious Johan.

*************************

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Back down in the valley near Umhlanga New Town, across the waving sugar-cane fields, is a stretch of land destined to become a $2.7 billion mixed- income residential and industrial area dubbed Cornubia.

A public-private partnership between the local municipality and agri-processor Tongaat Hulett, it will be an experiment in eliminating class differences. It will be the only area in Africa where you’ll get middle, low and high-income people living side by side. If the authorities can pull this off, they will have defied what is surely one of the most fundamental human tendencies: the instinct to self-segregate. In fifteen years’ time one will be able to assess whether the experiment has worked.

A multi-billion rand project, Cornubia, as a mixed use and mixed income development, will span the next 20 years. It is the Province of KwaZulu Natal’s and Ethekwini's Municipality’s first national

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS priority and will alter the skyline of Umhlanga in the future.

Cornubia will be the home of the next major industrial area in the north, with approximately 80 hectares coming on to the market in 2012.This will be a key industrial development with linkages to the new international airport and destinations further northwards along the Indian Ocean coast.

The planning of Cornubia is based upon the principles of sustainable development with higher densities, a wide range and integration of income levels, employment and economic opportunities, substantial provision for schools, clinics and other social facilities predicated on viable non- motorized systems, public transportation and extensive open spaces.

The development is proposed to provide in the near future some 20 000 homes of which 15 000 are proposed for subsidised housing and the balance for a much wider range of affordability levels.

RESIDENTIAL

Cornubia will comprise fully subsidized houses for the indigent (those that qualify for a provincial housing subsidy), affordable housing for low- income housing (rental) as well as middle to high- income bonded housing. Approximately half the site will accommodate affordable housing - with fully subsidized housing comprising 30% of the total project.

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COMMERCIAL

With a gross area of 300ha, Cornubia’s commercial and mixed use developments will make provision for almost 2 million m² bulk. These commercial opportunities will be located close to the N2 freeway and proposed Cornubia interchange, as well as along the M41 corridor in the vicinity of the existing South African Sugar Association.

INDUSTRIAL

The 200ha gross development will cover 90ha of industrial platform and will consist of approximately 90 industrial stands, ranging in size from roughly 300m2 to about 500m² on smaller units to bigger units of 10 000m² and larger, providing a total of 700 000m² of bulk. Subdivisions will be designed to allow flexibility for all the needs of developers and purchasers.

The development is strategically located (some 15km south of the new King Shaka International

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Airport) between the historically created and disadvantaged areas of Phoenix, Ottawa and Waterloo and newer areas of Mt Edgecombe and Umhlanga and has been planned to integrate these very different and disparate communities in a manner which adds value and enhances linkages and opportunities to all.

Jacques stopped reading at this point. He instinctively knew what David Mosenke’s role was – he was the advance party, the scout and the sniffer for whichever of the big-hitters was employing him. The words that Jacques stared at over and over were – ‘integrate’ ‘disparate’ and ‘enhances opportunities to all’.

Jacques investigated the word ‘disparate’ in terms of tax matters in South Africa and found that the Solidarity Research Institute claimed that there were approximately 50,0m people in total in the land of which 15,5m or 31% were on welfare. He also found that only 3.2m or 6% of South Africans contributed 99% of all tax collections. In terms of tax collected from companies 60% came from only 1% of the total number. SARS would raise nearly a trillion Rand in 2013.

It was estimated that 70% of ANC voters were jobless and 80% of taxpayers do not vote for the ANC.

Jacques shook his head and whistled ‘Jeez, how disparate can you get’.

‘This was the forced integration of the New South Africa as opposed to forced removals of the Apartheid era. It did not work then and it will not work now’ thought Jacques. ‘Taxpayer meets Welfare Recipient, East meets West, La Boheme meets Township, Zulu meets Red Coat, Cheek meets

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Jowl, Boer meets Zulu and China meets Africa. This is a helluva lot to digest in just one sitting. It has taken us fifty five years to digest the British-Dutch appetizer and we still have indigestion’. thought Jacques as he closed the lid of his computer, disconnected the device and, putting his research notes into his leather satchel, he headed home to Linda.

**************

Linda was in a pale blue housecoat, her feet were bare and her tongue peeped out of her delicate mouth as she carefully arranged a vase of flowers.

‘Hi sugar, looks as if you have had a hard day. Wait here’ she said disappearing into the kitchen

When she returned she reached up to kiss Jacques while hiding a cold beer behind her back. ‘Too right’ said Jacques hooking an arm around her waist and pulling her close.

‘Sit and tell me all about it’ she said pouring a glass of wine for herself.

Jacques summarised his findings occasionally stopping to take a sip of his beer. Linda listened intently sometimes nodding, sometimes scowling and sometimes sipping.

When he had finished she crawled across the couch and put her head in his lap and gently patted his hand.

**************

KZN Northern Growth Corridor (KNGC)

The KwaZulu-Natal Province can be seen as the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS eastern trade gateway of Southern Africa, with Durban being the busiest container port in Africa and Richards Bay housing the biggest bulk cargo port in Africa.

Between these two seaports, the Dube TradePort, adjacent to King Shaka International Airport, now operates as an air logistics platform allowing Durban to access even more global trade opportunities. These two ports have attracted enormous capital investment thus far in putting in the necessary infrastructure.

This significant development that is currently underway on the North coast of KwaZulu is the focus of what has been defined as the KZN Northern Growth Corridor (“KNGC”).

The KNGC area is the coastal zone stretching up the N2 from Durban in the South through Richards Bay and up to the Mozambique border. It covers the district municipalities of eThekwini (Durban), iLembe (Ballito and Stanger), uThungulu (Richards Bay) and uMkhanyakude (Mkuze).

The areas of particular interest within this Corridor are: Cornubia, Dube TradePort, Ilembe and Richards Bay.

Cornubia

A multi-billion rand project, Cornubia, is expected to alter the skyline of Umhlanga in the future. Cornubia will be the home of the next major industrial area, some 15kms south of the new King Shaka International airport.

The development is proposed to provide some 24

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000 homes of which 15 000 are proposed for subsidised housing and the balance for a wide range of affordability levels.

The development is strategically located between the historically created and disadvantaged areas of Phoenix, Ottawa and Waterloo and newer areas of Mt Edgecombe and Umhlanga.

Dube TradePort

Dube TradePort, located 30 km north of Durban, is a catalyst for global trade and a portal between KwaZulu-Natal and the world. It is the only facility in Africa that brings together an international airport, a state-of-the-art cargo terminal; and an agrizone, a 20-hectare development for flower and vegetable production. Located 30 km north of Durban, Dube TradePort is positioned between the two biggest sea ports in Southern Africa, and linked to the rest of Africa by road and rail. iLembe iLembe District Municipality situated about 65km north of Durban is endowed with a wealth of rich, fertile soil and has comparatively good rainfall – more than 1 000mm a year – making agriculture and hence iLembe central to the KZN economy. iLembe is recognized for its sugar-cane plantations and subtropical fruit along the coastal belt. The farmers in the hinterland concentrate on vegetable, dairy and stock-farming while the areas of Vryheid and Eshowe are known for forestry and furniture manufacturing.

Richards Bay

Richards Bay is considered the centre of operations

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS for South Africa's aluminium industry. Richards Bay Minerals is the largest sand-mining and mineral-processing operation in the world while The Richards Bay Coal Terminal is instrumental in securing the country's position as the second-largest exporter of steam coal in the world. Richards Bay also has a designated Industrial Development Zone focused on economic development in the export market.

A busy harbor and a diverse economy make Richards Bay an attractive investment destination.

Established as a harbor to supply British troops engaged in battle against the Zulu kingdom in 1879, the Port of Richards Bay really came into its own nearly a hundred years later when it was converted into a deep-water port and connected to the Highveld by railway lines. That connection remains strong today, and the export of coal from Mpumalanga is the sole function of the Richards Bay Coal Terminal. RBCT, a privately owned operation, is the single biggest coal

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS export terminal in the world. Delivery by Transnet Freight Rail (TFR) averaged 63.3 million tons (MT) per year for the five years to 2011 but hit a record high of 68.5mt in 2012. Among the owners of RBCT are Anglo Coal, BHP Billiton, Sasol Mining, Xstrata and Exxaro. The owners and TFR are working towards using the full 91mt capacity of the RBCT. Meanwhile, Transnet is investigating opening its own coal terminal, with the aim of opening up new markets for smaller coal mining companies. Other parts of the Port of Richards Bay are receiving significant capital injections. Investments by the Transnet Group in freight rail and locomotives (R200-billion) and the general freight business (R150-billion) will have a direct impact on Richards Bay. The rail corridors serving Richards Bay and Durban will receive nearly R40-billion in additional funding between 2011 and 2015, giving a further boost to economic development in the region. Richards Bay Minerals and Exxaro KZN Sands are major players in the mining industry with titanium slag being produced from ilmenite. BHP Billiton’s two aluminium smelters are the biggest industrial entities in the area. Foskor has a large fertilizer plant in the city and internationally renowned heavy-equipment manufacturer Bell Equipment is also based in Richards Bay. The hinterland has plentiful supplies of timber and sugar cane where companies such as Sappi, Mondi and Tongaat Hulett are active. Richards Bay Industrial Development Zone South Africa's newest operating Industrial Development Zone is boosting Richards Bay's already robust economy. The provincial government of KwaZulu-Natal now holds 100% of the

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RBIDZ through the Department of Economic Development and Tourism. The Tata Steel ferrochrome smelter was the first investment in the RBIDZ, with input of more than R700-million that has created 320 permanent jobs. South Africa has three active Industrial Development Zones (IDZs), which include East London Industrial Development Zone and Coega in the Eastern Cape Province. The idea behind an IDZ is to create attractive conditions under which manufacturing can thrive, thus stimulating foreign direct investment. The provincial government has budgeted R57-million to make the RBIDZ a preferred investment destination.

China has found investment opportunity in Richards Bay - announcing deals this week to ease bottlenecks that hold up exports of coal.

The China Development Bank has agreed to lend

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South African state rail freight group Transnet up to $5 billion to revamp ageing track, used to carry commodities such as coal and iron ore.

China’s Chery Holdings has signed a deal valued at several billion dollars to build and repair ships at its Richards Bay port according to documents obtained by Reuters.

The final terms were being worked out at a summit of the BRICS emerging market powers in the South African coastal city of Durban, a senior South African government official said.

South Africa has been pushing to expand the port to attract industry and create jobs in an economy that has seen its unemployment rate stuck at around 25 percent for years.

********************

‘Linda baby, have you ever been to any of the inland venues in KwaZulu Natal?’ asked Jacques one morning. I need to get away from all of this research and clear my head. Besides I want to spend some quiet, quality time with you, angel’

‘No, yes you do and yummee, in that order’ replied Linda grabbing Jacques around the neck and wrestling him back onto the bed. Sitting on Jacques’s chest with her hands on either side of his face she said ‘Where will we go to B’wana’.

‘I am thinking like Cathedral Peak in the Drakensberg Mountains and perhaps some place in the Battlefields. We can enjoy history and have lounge lizard spa recreation n the same trip’

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‘That will be seriously cool Jacques, I will put in for leave at the Bank’

Jacques duly booked accommodation for he and Linda at the Champagne Sports Resort situated in the tranquillity of the Central Drakensberg, which boasted the most spectacular view of Champagne Castle and Cathkin Peak. The impressive brochure had said: ‘Champagne Sports Resort is more than a hotel in the mountains, it is an experience.

From the 18-hole championship golf course to the roaming herds of Blesbok and Impala and the rare birdlife that inhabit the estate, there is something for everyone to enjoy. And, with five dams stocked with either bass or trout, as well as outstanding sporting facilities and cultural activities, this enduring resort provides a balance between recreation for sports enthusiasts and tranquillity for those seeking relaxation'.

From the moment they arrived at the hotel’s reception they felt that the stress of the city had been left far behind. The self-contained, free standing thatched cottage provided the finest accommodation and they found delectable fare and sumptuous banquets at the hotel. These delights coupled with every possible creature comfort, made their Champagne Sports Resort stay the ultimate 'berg experience’.

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The Resort offered a variety of superb, fully serviced accommodation. The 62 hotel bedrooms were made up of twin rooms, family rooms, and various suites, all with well-appointed bedrooms and either mountain views or garden views. A further 41 Timeshare Units on the estate are used for hotel accommodation subject to availability. The hotel has wheelchair access throughout and all bedrooms are linked to the main hotel buildings by way of thatch covered walkways.

They found that the southern end of Africa's Great Rift Valley, the 9,700 kilometer scar that is slowly tearing the continent in two - centimeter by centimeter, millennium by millennium - should actually be a mountain range. The final thrust of the fault is South Africa's formidable Drakensberg, a 200 km arc of jagged mountain peaks that run roughly north-south through Kwazulu-Natal, forming the border with Lesotho. Known to the Afrikaans as Drakensberg - Dragon's Mountain, the

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Zulu name is perhaps even more evocative uKhahlamba - the Barrier of Spears.

Jacques and Linda explored the nearby attractions, from the home of the world- famous Drakensberg Choir, which holds weekly performances, to the famous Ardmore Art Studios. They visited the nearby game reserves of Spionkop and Weenen and the mountain vulture hides. They were also impressed with gentle beauty of Meadowsweet Herb Farm.

In the evenings they dined splendidly by candlelight, sipped glorious red wine and chatted lovingly over cheese and biscuits before retiring to the warmth of their hearth fired cottage.

They made slow love in the glow of the fire and fell asleep each night exhausted by the excitement of the long day.

****************

‘Zulu wars, Shaka, Isandlwana, Rorke's Drift, Colenso, Spioenkop, Ladysmith, Dundee, Churchill, Blood River, Cetshwayo, Boers ... these are some of the terms which are associated with the internationally renowned KwaZulu-Natal Battlefields area of South Africa.

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The brochure had said: ‘Walk in the footsteps of famous military strategists -Shaka, Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi and General Louis Botha - they were all part of the KwaZulu-Natal Battlefields. The wind sighs and whispers the secrets and sorrows of great battles, made visible by lone forts and small graveyards on these undulating landscapes ringed with rocky outcrops. The legacy of our Zulu Kingdom's critical, blood- soaked conflicts today lives peacefully - reconciled in this fascinating region's myriad Battlefield sites, historic towns, national monuments and museums - and in HQs of the British regiments who make a 'pilgrimage' to these fields of bravery and supreme sacrifice’

After a long drive over bumpy roads from Ladysmith the two turned into a large open valley to see the iconic Isandlwana hill – in Zulu - little house.

There on the right of the valley nestled into the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS iconic hillside is the now famous Isandlwana Lodge. Jacques and Linda had chosen this five star establishment as their base for a couple of days of history and relaxation.

As Linda was getting the dust of the trip out of her hair Jacques read to her from the brochure:

‘Why leave all of this to the imagination? Knowledgeable guides will accompany you on tours of the Battlefields, talking you through each battle, debating the strategies used, the numbers who perished and the medals and rewards won by the brave and very heroic departed British soldiers.

If these legends inspire your adventurous spirit, there are more pleasurable ways of assuaging it than in battle. White-water rafting down the rapids of the mighty Thukela, sailing on the Chelmsford

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Dam, and hunting in the designated hunting reserves - this region offers you all of these pursuits’.

The happy couple also visited the Midlands Meander, an area providing purchase opportunities at any of the large number of factory outlets selling everything from blown glass to pork sausages, goat’s cheese and baby products.

There are also a number of other KwaZulu-Natal towns which fall outside the core of the KwaZulu- Natal Battlefields area or experience and these include the Zululand towns of Paulpietersburg, Vryheid, Ulundi and Eshowe; the Elephant Coast of Mkuze; the area around the Thukela Mouth on the North Coast of KwaZulu-Natal, and in the city of Durban.

From the private balcony of their room they enjoyed a breathtaking view of the battlefield plain, the mountains in the distance and the village below. They watched the village come to life early and then slow down at the end of the day. They experienced the warm hospitality of the Zulu staff, tasty food prepared by an all Zulu women chefs brigade and enjoyed enthralling, interesting and emotional tours of Isandlwana and Rorke’s Drift guided by resident historian and author, Rob Gerrard, FRGS.

Jacques and Linda listened intently as the heard in detail about the massacre at Isandlwana all those years ago.

‘The main Zulu attack began at 12h30 with 20,000 men, 4,000 being held in reserve. At first the British line, comprised mainly of the 1st and 24th regiments, held firm with the two guns keeping a

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS steady fire. However, as many as a third of the Zulus were armed with some type of firearm, which eventually began to take its toll and the warriors advanced to within 800 metres of the somewhat extended British line, due to a shortage of men who had also begun to run short of ammunition. A simultaneous partial eclipse of the sun during the fighting added an eerie quality to the battle.

Realising that the initial attack had failed, the Zulu commanders sent Ndlaka and an induna forward to encourage the warriors. At this point Durnford’s position on the right collapsed and his men fell back towards the saddle, through which the warriors surged across the British line. As their line fell back from the Zulu advance, the right horn of the Zulu force had made its way behind the hill to cut off any British retreat back towards Rorke’s Drift.

By about 3pm the British position had been overrun, and those who tried to escape the slaughter attempted to flee via the saddle between Isandlwana and Black’s koppie. Most of these fugitives were stopped by the Zulu’s right horn, and only a few British soldiers on horseback got away.

Lieutenants Melvill and Coghill bravely attempted to save the battalion’s Queen’s Colour but were killed in the attempt, the colours being washed downstream and recovered on the 4th of February.

Chelmsford, who had been operating in the hills to the south-east, was informed of the disaster at 3pm and the remnants of the central column cautiously returned to Isandlwana as evening fell. The reality of the situation together with the reports of the ongoing battle raging at Rorke’s Drift made him

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS resume his march before dawn, reaching the Mzinyathi River shortly after the Zulus had returned with their army into Zululand.

Both sides lost heavily in the battle of Isandlwana. Estimates of British losses were 1,357, and approximately 3,000 Zulu warriors were also killed. At this news, King Cetshwayo said ...'alas, a spear has been thrust into the belly of the nation'.

The also explored the birding, star-gazing, authentic cultural village tour, horse riding, a photographic safari and short hikes.

Before getting ready for supper each afternoon they lazed around the pool that is built amongst the rocks.

In the evenings they improved on their waistlines from an endless five star menu. They ended the day sipping Cointreau on the balcony overlooking the haunting plains that had shaped South Africa’s brutal history.

Later, at night in bed, they cuddled warmly against the cold eerie breeze which wafted off of those historic, ghostly and blood-stained plains and

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS curled menacingly around their luxurious room on the hill at Isandlwana.

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Chapter 8 The Morality ______

Morality refers to the concept of human ethics which pertains to matters of right or wrong used within three contexts: individual conscience, systems of principles and judgements - shared within a cultural, religious or political grouping. A system of standards used to produce honest, decent and ethical results is considered moral.

Albert Schweitzer, author of On the Edge of the Primeval Forest, the Decay and Restoration of Civilisation and Civilisation and Ethics has this to say on the matter: ‘Ethics are nothing but reverence for life. This is what gives me the fundamental principle of morality, namely that good consists in maintaining, promoting and enhancing life, and that destroying, injuring and limiting life is evil’.

Jacques considered the definition before him deeply. ‘….shared within a cultural, religious or political grouping……..’ and it bothered him. It meant that concept of morality could change, as long as you had enough people sharing the same principles and judgements. How many times in history had those principles and judgements been morally incorrect, yet because a great many people believed them to be moral, those ethics became acceptable.

Christianity had perpetrated the most dreadful and immoral atrocities against women, non- believers, foreigners et al but because these deeds were considered moral by the cultural, political and religious orders of the day, that became the prevailing and acceptable morality. Hannibal,

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Napoleon, Japan’s military leaders in WW II, Hitler, Verwoerd and Apartheid, Mussolini, Saddam Hussein, all came to mind.

He understood that he was dealing here with three conflicting moralities born of different ethnicities and forged in different eras in history – African, Anglo Saxon and Chinese.

He would have to cling to the last remaining tests for morality: individual conscience and reverence for life.

Chinese Morality

The above mentioned evil leaders had their temporary victories and glories, but over time, they incurred the combined wrath of those countries they invaded and oppressed which in turn re- grouped and made the aggressors and their people pay heavily for their meglomanic, oppressive and grabbing ways. Eventually, other countries they had not yet invaded, realized that they could be the next victims. They allied themselves with those similarly situated and went to the rescue of the conquered countries whose citizens also fought from within to defeat the invaders.

Is China heading in the same destructive direction?

With its recent remarkable economic success, China has expanded and re-armed to now be the largest military force in the world in terms of the number of military personnel. Will China’s arrogant behavior and immoral policy decisions, showing no respect for other nations who are much weaker militarily, lead the Chinese people along a dangerous path where, eventually, the entire world will ally to bring China down as a rogue evil nation?

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China, with its support of corrupt oppressive governments and disrespect for the patent rights and intellectual property rights of other countries, is fast heading downward road of global opposition.

Anglo Saxon Morality

The changes from colonialism to imperialism must be understood from the historical changes in the colonisers’ home countries in Europe. Capitalism in Europe started as a system of local markets where craftsmen sold their produce, often to specialised traders who were themselves not craftsmen. The traders in turn sold to consumers.

Still lacking was industry, where large factories in which lots of people worked in an organised way to

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS produce something for a wage. Craftsmen operated in a small scale, often in their own house, usually with nothing but a few apprentices. They made cloth, candles, furniture, steel products like knives and ploughs.

Sea trade was practised along the near coasts, Dutch, for instance brought herring to Scandinavia to exchange for wood to build ships and houses. Sailing down the African coast was first accomplished by the Portuguese. Later the Spaniards, Dutch and English followed. The aim was to get natural resources that could be sold to home consumers: spices, tea, coffee, sugar.

Then ready-made cloth was brought to Europe from India. This trade was most cheaply and thus most profitably practised by leaving the foreign countries as they were and just building coastal fortifications to collect the valuables to be shipped.

The industrial revolution increased enormously the quantum of goods needed for production in the new factories in Europe. These industry inputs rose in significance as a part of trade from the colonies: cotton, wool, oils, jute and dyestuff are important examples. Moreover, since factories can produce vast amounts of goods, any item that could be produced at home, such as textiles, ceased to be imported from colonies. In the textile case, for instance India was quickly deprived of its textile exports to Europe.

Moreover, in their existing state the colonies did not produce enough of the industry inputs needed in Europe. European settlers thus went, and organised the increase of production of cotton etc. as well as the increase of the production of food for the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS increasing number of those who were put to work on the cotton fields.

Here, they ran into problems because the habits of the colonised people now had to be changed; the home economy needed more supply of the industry inputs produced in the colony. European capitalists felt the flow of goods from the colony was no longer a luxury, an additional source of profit, but that they became basically dependent on a growing mass of such imports, because these imports were no longer chiefly luxury consumer goods, but basic inputs for European industry.

African Morality

Nelson Mandela explained Ubuntu, the unwritten African Morality, as follows:

‘A traveler through a country would stop at a village and he didn't have to ask for food or for water. Once he stops, the people give him food and attend him. That is one aspect of Ubuntu, but it will have various aspects. Ubuntu does not mean that people should not enrich themselves. The question therefore is: Are you going to do so in order to enable the community around you to be able to improve?’

Another person, Tim Jackson, refers to Ubuntu as a philosophy that supports the changes, that he says are necessary, to create a future that is economically and environmentally sustainable.

Judge Colin Lamont expanded on the definition of Ubuntu in summarizing his ruling on the hate speech trial of Julius Malema:

Ubuntu is recognized as being an important source of law within the context of strained or broken relationships amongst individuals or communities

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS and as an aid for providing remedies which contribute towards more mutually acceptable remedies for the parties in such cases. Ubuntu is a concept which:

1. is to be contrasted with vengeance;

2. dictates that a high value be placed on the life of a human being;

3. is inextricably linked to the values of and which places a high premium on dignity, compassion, humaneness and respect for humanity of another;

4. dictates a shift from confrontation to mediation and conciliation;

5. dictates good attitudes and shared concern;

6. favours the re-establishment of harmony in the relationship between parties and that such harmony should restore the dignity of the plaintiff without ruining the defendant;

7. favours restorative rather than retributive justice;

8. operates in a direction favoring reconciliation rather than estrangement of disputants;

9. works towards sensitizing a disputant or a defendant in litigation to the hurtful impact of his actions to the other party and towards changing such conduct rather

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than merely punishing the disputant;

10. promotes mutual understanding rather than punishment;

11. favours face-to-face encounters of disputants with a view to facilitating differences being resolved rather than conflict and victory for the most powerful;

12. favours civility and civilized dialogue premised on mutual tolerance

A commentator at the above case, which precipitated a momentous shift in African Morality, supposed at the time that the might of Zuma's supporters had taken control of the ANC's ancestral wisdom on this particular issue. The ANC leadership, motivated by fear of the firestorm they might ignite from furious Zuma

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS supporters, if Zuma were not reinstated, simply froze.

The Zuma saga is as much about power and ambition as it is about the characters of Zuma and Mbeki. Unfortunately the anonymous masses are at the mercy of the tyranny of the minority.

The commentator asked ‘What can be done uphold and advance Nelson Mandela's vision of a peaceful and cohesive society and Thabo Mbeki's vision of economic stability to give the new nation, the Republic of South Africa, a competitive global edge?

The commentator concluded ‘Clearly, our society needs to groom new, younger leaders. How do we cultivate them? Would it help to create a moral leadership forum, involving schools: moral development and leadership skills to be cultivated early among the young at school and tertiary level; teaching the young on how to use their power towards moral goals; encouraging leaders in the corporate sector and their employees to follow ethical codes of conduct and to engage beyond the mandatory corporate social responsibility code?.

The degradation of morality has been an issue since 1998 when Nelson Mandela stood aside to enjoy what was left of the life he had so unselfishly given to his people, his country and the world.

Since then it has been a bun-fight to fill the enormous moral chasm left behind by the departure of the Nobel Peace Prize Winner.

South Africa and its people have been subjected to the most deplorable stampede for wealth matched only by the gold rush in America. In South Africa morality flew out of the window and the previously

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS disadvantaged were trampled upon by the new African Kleptocratic order. Today South Africa is the most disparate country in the world and the new order is bereft of all of the moral codes ingrained by Madiba.

The Press, the last bastion still standing, attempts vainly to report on all of the vice and corruption. Its depth and breadth are such that the media is losing the battle. The law has failed also to keep pace. South Africa now have police who watch other police who watch other police, reminding one of another once powerful regime that has since faltered on the world stage. Many of the current South African ruling elite unfortunately received their academic training in that failed state.

A Reporter in the Press at the time wrote ‘South Africans have recently witnessed the incredible spectacle of the Minister of Public Works, the until- then-relatively-credible former trade union leader Thulas Nxesi, making a complete ass of himself as he tried to defend the fact that taxpayers' money is being used to build the president a R246million palace in his home village, Nkandla’.

The reporter continued ‘Nxesi - instead of being absolutely outraged that his department is being abused to build the president a private palace, while the man has the use of at least three massive residences in Pretoria, Cape Town and KwaZulu- Natal, used all manner of excuses to try to justify this blatant looting of the taxpayers' money. First we heard that Zuma deserves such largesse because he is the president of the country and therefore his security needs to be ensured’.

‘Then we couldn't be given details of the expenditure because the place is a national key

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS point. Really? His three state-owned houses may be national key points (that is, sensitive from a national security perspective) but I still have to find a reason why this man's private residence is a sensitive security installation deserving of a R238- million upgrading.

When journalists cornered Nxesi he then revealed that, actually, all were judging the president from a middle-class viewpoint.

I think the country is going to the dogs when we start saying that looting the state is part of African culture, which is basically what Nxesi was saying.

Then the man said he would hunt down and prosecute whoever leaked this story to the City Press newspaper. The whole thing makes one want to puke.

So the outrageous spending of R246million of taxpayers' money is not worth investigating but the whistle-blower will be hunted down and punished by the minister? Is this really the ANC of Oliver Tambo?’ Any self-respecting head of state who had

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS overseen what Zuma's administration went through in one week would throw himself on his assegai. Scandal is everywhere.

The former wife of the key security minister in Zuma's cabinet was sent to jail for 20 years for drug trafficking.

Then the smell of the Nkandlagate looting continued to spread and was defended by the president's spokesman and Nxesi. Then nearly the entire board of SA Airways resigned, citing government incompetence for their decision. A man linked to a dodgy company was then appointed chairman of the new board of SAA.

Zuma's appointment of Menzi Simelane as head of the National Prosecuting Authority was declared invalid by the Constitutional Court.

Strikes continue to spread like wildfire throughout the mining industry, with transport workers becoming increasingly violent. The police reportedly stood and watched them break the law.

Two leaders of the National Union of Mineworkers were killed in the most horrific way in North West.

As all this takes place, the Department of Education still has not delivered textbooks to some pupils in Limpopo - with only a month to go before examinations start. Non-government organisations had to go to court for the third time last week to force the government to deliver the textbooks.

Take all these incidents, all within a week, and you realise that Zuma is not a leader. He is not even a puerile head of state. This administration is a nightmare, a horrific accident lurching from one disaster to the next every single day. It is no wonder

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS that the Financial Times declared that ours is a country that is in political drift’ the reporter festered.

‘We cannot afford this sort of thing. About seven million of our fellow countrymen are unemployed. Nearly 16million of us are receiving social grants. A small minority enjoy extraordinary lifestyles, making us one of the most unequal societies in the world.

What this means is that we are a country on a knife- edge. The levels of inequality and poverty we have here, if left unaddressed or in the hands of the likes of Zuma, mean that we are headed straight towards social upheaval.

Here is the depressing thing, though. Last week Zuma sent out Nxesi to do his dirty work for him. It is not the first time that Zuma has done this - hundreds of ANC leaders did exactly the same thing for him in the run-up to the ANC conference in Polokwane in 2007.

In the next two months many ANC leaders, like Nxesi, will work for Zuma to ensure that he gets a second term as ANC president and therefore a second term as president of the state.

And the devastation Zuma has wrought on the country for the past three years will continue.’

‘The devastation of South Africa certainly did continue’ said Jacques out loud. Report No. 25 2013/14 ‘Secure in Comfort’ released in March 2014 by the Public Protector’s Office gives details of a two year investigation by the Protector, Advocate Thuli Madonsela. The report covers allegations of impropriety and unethical conduct relating to

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS installation and implementation of security measures at the residence of President Jacob Zuma at Nkandla in KwaZulu Natal.

Corruption in the public service has been a headache for the SA government. The findings of Transparency International's 2013 Global Corruption Barometer show that almost 50 percent of South Africans have reported paying a bribe in the previous year. South Africa has lost 675 billion Rands (about 61 billion U.S. dollars) due to corruption since the end of apartheid in 1994, according to the latest figures made available by the Institute for Accountability in Southern Africa. Secure In Comfort A Report of the March 2014 Public Protector

Executive Summary

“Given the very humble beginnings of this project, nothing short of a full township establishment is now required………………” (Comment of the Director: Architectural Service of the Department of Public Works addressed to the Acting Director-General of the Department on the Nkandla Project at the end of August 2010).

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

“Our government is the potent, the omnipresent teacher. For good or for ill, it teaches people by example… If the government becomes a law breaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man [person] to become a law; unto himself………”

Justice Louis D Brandeis, US Supreme Court Justice.

(i) “Secure in Comfort” is my report as the Public Protector of the Republic of South Africa on an investigation conducted into allegations of impropriety and unethical conduct relating to the installation and implementation of security and related measures at the private residence of the President of the Republic of South Africa, His Excellency J G Zuma, at Nkandla in the KwaZulu- Natal Province.

(ii) At the time the remark of the Director: Architectural Services of the Department of Public Works (DPW) is made, the cost estimation for the project was R145 million. By the time I concluded this investigation R215 million had been spent

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS while the total cost to conclude the project was conservatively estimated at R246 million.

(iii) The investigation was conducted in terms of section 182 of the Constitution,

The President of South Africa was given fourteen days to respond to the report in Parliament.

In response to the release of the Public Protector, Advocate Thuli Madonsela’s report, Democratic Alliance released this statement:

‘The party welcomed the findings of Public Protector Thuli Madonsela that Zuma and his family had unduly benefited from the upgrades to his Nkandla private residence’.

‘Given these damning findings, I will submit a formal request to the Speaker of the National

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

Assembly, Max Sisulu, to recall the National Assembly as a matter of extreme urgency to initiate proceedings against President Zuma in terms of Section 89 of the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa’.

‘Impeachment is the correct course of action for this flagrant abuse of public money’.

The party noted that there was no precedent for the impeachment process.

‘It refers to the power the National Assembly holds, in terms of section 89 of the Constitution, to remove a president from office if he has acted in serious violation of the Constitution or law, or is believed to have committed serious misconduct,’ Mazibuko said.

‘It is a fitting sanction for a president who abuses his office for personal gain’.

The party expected the ANC to block the process from going forward.

‘However, as the Speaker has himself pointed out, the fourth Parliament remains in session until 7 May 2014,’ Mazibuko said.

‘I urge the ANC and the president to respect the findings of this report and to co-operate with all processes to ensure that every person including President Jacob Zuma is held to account’.

DA Leader, Mazibuko, said that the party would likely also be tabling substantive motions against members of Zuma's cabinet implicated for wrongdoing in the report.

‘We will announce further action going forward.’

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**************

‘President Jacob Zuma is unfit to run the country as he continuously claims to be unaware of everything; from the Waterkloof scandal to the billions of dollars reportedly cached in South Africa by former Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi’ said United Democratic Movement (UDM) Bantu Holomisa in a statement.

‘Clearly the president cannot be entrusted with the stewardship of South Africa,’ he added.

Holomisa was responding to Zuma’s denial of any wrongdoing in the Nkandla scandal in which almost R250million of public funds was spent on security upgrades to his private residence in Nkandla, KwaZulu-Natal.

A political commentator attending the release of Madonsela’s report said ‘As I watched Public Protector, Thuli Madonsela painstakingly ploughing through the long report, I wondered what former South African President Nelson Mandela would be saying had he still been alive.

It is ironic that in a year when the country is supposed to be celebrating 20 years of democratic rule, President Jacob Zuma has been found to have violated the very rules he is meant to protect’.

The most devastating line was when the softly spoken, but tough Ms Madonsela stated paragraph 10.10.1.6: ‘His failure to act in protection of state resources constitutes a violation of executive ethics code and accordingly, amounts to conduct that is inconsistent with his office as a member of cabinet’

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

She ends the report with this quotation from Mr Nelson Mandela: ‘Let it never be said by future generations that indifference, cynicism or selfishness made us fail to live up to the ideals of humanism which the Nobel Peace Prize encapsulates’.

This noble, unselfish gladiator (1918-2013) passed away recently leaving a clear and moralistic blue print for democracy, diplomacy and truth that will outlive all of the festering African Kleptocrats and new rogue colonialists.

In his tribute at Madiba's funeral service, President Jacob Zuma made a promise to the beloved icon: ‘We commit to work more intensively to deal a decisive blow against the persistent poverty, unemployment and inequality. Indeed, South Africa will continue to rise because we dare not fail you’.

The Fourth Pillar again called it right: ‘Now if the president is sincere about these salutary commitments, and honest with himself, he should start by resigning the presidency with immediate effect, before the inevitable recall. He must admit to himself that during his tenure he has been unable to come close to living up to any of the Mandela principles. In fact, he has already failed the great man.

True enough, he started out with Mandela as part of the struggle, but has strayed along the way,

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS choosing rather to fraternise with criminal elements.

And it didn't end there. He proceeded to build himself a palace with taxpayers' money, money that could have been used to build more schools, clinics and homes for the poor. So his promised ‘decisive blow against persistent poverty’ has a hollow ring.

If he really respects the Mandela legacy (and in his heart of hearts he probably does) he should do the honourable thing by passing the baton to someone who, as the Malawian president put it on the same occasion, ‘loves and is loved by the people and is a respected leader and an honest one.

With this act, Madiba would in his inimitable way say to Zuma: ‘That is very good. We understand and still love you’.

Cliff Buchler, George

**********************

Jacques wondered why the Protector, Thuli Madonsela, having resisted pressure from four Cabinet Ministers and several other self-serving government sycophants, had not taken the final step in finding that Zuma had mislead Parliament. The expose tiptoed around the word ‘lied’. Most South Africans above the age of seven were of the opinion that he had lied. Notwithstanding, the Protector had shown immense courage in resting life-threatening pressure put on her by male individuals who had yet to attain the mental age of seven.

So outraged was one South African citizen named Visser, over the blatant theft of tax payers funds to

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS finance Nkandla, that he laid through his lawyer the formal charge below against Zuma.

‘Advocate Madonsela found that Mr Zuma improperly benefitted from the Nkandla project in that certain expenditure incurred was of a private (that is, not security-related) nature. The expenditure was incurred in making improvements of a private nature to Mr Zuma's Nkandla residence at the time of upgrading security at Mr Zuma's residence.

Advocate Madonsela found that Mr Zuma improperly benefited from the unlawful expenditure of taxpayers' funds by the construction of a house (used by Mr Zuma and his family for, amongst other events, traditional ceremonies; expensive paving; a swimming pool; a cattle kraal and a chicken run at Mr Zuma's residence.

Advocate Madonsela found that Mr Zuma, directly or via his architect, gave instructions to Ministers of State, state officials as well as the de facto project leader of the Nkandla upgrades (who happens to be Mr Zuma's personal architect) to unlawfully divert taxpayers' funds to build the aforesaid private structures at his Nkandla residence. At the time Mr Zuma was aware that his actions were unlawful and constituted the crimes of theft of state (that is, taxpayers) funds; corruption in that Mr Zuma, both personally and via his private architect, unlawfully and intentionally, instructed and induced state officials to act contrary to their official duties and obligations by allocating state funds to build structures for Mr Zuma's private use, and fraud in that Mr Zuma, in full knowledge of the fact that state funds were misused during the Nkandla project to build structures for his private use at his Nkandla residence, misled the South African public

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS and the Parliament of the Republic of South Africa by stating in in a parliamentary address that Mr Zuma and his family personally paid for all homes built at his residence whereas in truth Mr Zuma knew at the time that state funds were used to build a house and other private structures at the Nkandla residence.

I refer the detective(s) assigned to investigate these charges to the official report of the Public Protector that can be obtained from the offices of the Public Protector situated in Pretoria.

I reiterate that I as a taxpaying citizen of the Republic of South Africa have the right to lay these charges and request the SAP's detective branch to investigate these charges to the best of their ability. As a taxpayer, I pay a not inconsiderable portion of my earnings to the Fiscus and have the right to expect that my tax Rands be utilised by the State for lawful purposes only.

I suspect on reasonable grounds that my taxes and those of other taxpayers have been used by the State to benefit Mr Zuma in an unlawful and corrupt manner.

I reasonably suspect that the crimes occurred in the district of Nkandla and such other places where Mr Zuma gave instructions to Ministers of State, state officials as well as the de facto project leader of the Nkandla upgrades (who is Mr Zuma's personal architect) to unlawfully allocate state funds to build the aforesaid structures at Mr Zuma's Nkandla residence.

In conclusion, I have full confidence that the South African Police will conduct a comprehensive investigation into the aforesaid charges without

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS fear or favour and thereafter place the docket before the Public Prosecutor once the investigation has been completed’.

The South African Police have opened the docket.

The opposition Democratic Alliance Party have similarly opened a docket at the Nkandla Police Station. Julius Malema’s Party has had a docket opened in Sunnyside.

The state's spending of R8.8-million on attorneys representing President Jacob Zuma over the past four years is a blatant act of discrimination, Congress of the People had said prior to the Nkandla Scandal.

‘This affirmed Cope's position that Zuma made no distinction between the money of the state and his own’, spokesperson Johann Abrie said in a statement.

‘As early as 2008, the Congress of the People warned South Africans that Zuma is a compulsive spender, unable to live within his means, and his understanding of the perks of his position is that it means access to unlimited cash,’ it said.

‘I hope someone checks the lease given by the Ingonyama Trust and King Goodwill Zwelithini so freely to Zuma’ thought a confused Jacques. ‘Does the R246 million spent to date on the Nkandla improvements to the property belong to South Africa, The South African Receiver of Revenue,

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Zuma or the Zulu Nation represented by the Ingonyama Trust?

Bruce Myburgh, a property specialist from Myburgh Attorneys in Pretoria, said: ‘A person cannot take out a bond on land they do not own. Only the person or entity registered at the deed office as the deed owner can take out such a bond on the property.’

He said this applied to property held in trust too.

‘The assets may even belong to a foreign power’ thought Jacques.

The DA have calculated the tax benefit received by Zuma to be R42.2m and this should be added to his annual salary of R2.6m and taxed at 40% and then recovered by SARS from Zuma.

What Jacques did know thus far was reported by City Press:

‘City Press this week obtained details of the leases for Zuma’s Nkandla homestead through access to information legislation.

The documents reveal that:

> The president pays R800 a month for the 8.9ha of land on which his sprawling complex is situated

> Zuma’s lease is for 40 years with an option to renew

> Public Works pays R1 300 a month for the 6.6ha it has leased adjacent to the president’s homestead

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> A letter from a Public Works official in which the Ingonyama Trust – which owns the land – was given less than a day to agree to a permission to occupy

> Images attached to the lease application show that substantial security upgrades – including two large perimeter fences – had already been completed at the time the department and the president applied for leases.

Jacques wondered why so little had been made about the road infra-structure that was given priority to service the Nkandla homestead of the President. It reminded Jacques of the road between Umtata and Coffee Bay in the then Transkei. Kaiser Matanzima had similarly prioritized that particular road for his personal use. The Fourth Pillar had previously reported: ‘Two new road networks worth R582 million have been built in

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

President Jacob Zuma’s village in KwaNxamalala, Nkandla’. The Mercury reports that the road linking the village to Kranskop, the P15, is a 32.4km stretch and was built for R290 million, while the road from Eshowe linking it with the village and Nkandla is 54.4km long and cost R292 million.

KwaZulu-Natal transport MEC Willies Mchunu also opened two pedestrian bridges across the Nsuze and Mposa rivers in the greater KwaNxamalala area. These would link villages to schools and cost R4.5 million.

According to the Mercury, Mchunu said the projects were considered before Zuma became president.

‘In fact former president Thabo Mbeki identified Nkandla and Msinga as priority areas needing development. This has nothing to do with President Zuma,’ Mchunu said.

*******************

Jacob Zuma has also before defended the building of a new town near Nkandla, saying it is part of

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS government's strategy to improve the conditions of rural people.

‘The president has not instructed ministers to provide funding and a budget for the Nkandla- Mlalazi Smart Growth Centre,’ he told Parliament during a question and answer session.

He conceded that the rural development and land reform department supported the Masibambisane Rural Development Initiative with the detailed planning of the Nkandla initiative.

In August 2010, the Mail & Guardian reported on the R2-billion development being built just 3.2km from Zuma’s home. Half of the cost is set to be carried by public funds with the other half coming from private investment. Jacques again wondered ‘Chinese perhaps?

The ‘emerging town’ of Zumaville, which will cover 200 hectares and could comfortably accommodate 10 000 middle class homes, is envisaged to include government facilities, including offices for home affairs and social development; new community

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS facilities, such as a library, theatre and recreation centre; a new school with boarding facilities; a community safety centre and additions to an existing clinic, a recreation centre featuring a swimming pool and tennis courts, light industrial units, including an agricultural market and housing centred around community gardens.

The project is the brain child of Masibambisane, a rural development organization that Zuma chairs. It’s believed that the agriculture department was also set to make an R800-million contribution to the organization for the project. Government later clamped down on information concerning the project, with former government spokesperson Jimmy Manyi saying any information on the development would be contained in annual reports submitted to Parliament and that interested parties should monitor the presentations and interact with information they contained for further details.

Zuma said no other national departments had made commitments to the delivery of facilities and infrastructure on the site and that the smart centre was part of a provincial programme to revive small rural towns and formalise rural unplanned towns and urban settlements.

He said other towns that would benefit from this programme included Ndumo, Manguzi, Msinga, Mbumbulu, Nkandla, Charlestown, Jozini, Ngwavuma, Dududu, Weenen and Colenso.

‘It is important to emphasise that even at a national level, Nkandla is not the only district that is receiving attention for rural development,’ he said. Zuma listed 23 districts that had been

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS identified by government for interventions to alleviate poverty.

Many of the programmes Zuma mentioned were small in scale – involving infrastructure development and upgrades like the building of roads, bridges and walkways, crèches and recreational facilities.

He said the rural development and land reform department is working with the Sekhukhune district municipality to plan ‘a rural node similar in size and scope to the Umlalazi-Nkandla Smart Growth Centre, for the Jane Furse Township’.

‘It is a pity that only Nkandla seems to generate interest,’ he said.

DA parliamentary leader Lindiwe Mazibuko asked whether Zuma could ‘justify the spending of R2- billion in one area that just happens to be just 3km from his homestead, while other areas a few kilometers away are without the most basic services’.

In response Zuma said: ‘Why should people at Nkandla, 3km from where Zuma stays, starve? Why must they be isolated? Why should others who are in other areas be more important than those? Should they be punished because they are neighbors of Zuma? I don’t think so’.

He said that Nkandla was well-known for being a poverty stricken area and that development was also happening in many other rural areas but that ‘you don’t talk about those’.

He defended the variable spending by the rural development department different areas, saying:

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‘The money will never be the same, one size fits all. The developments are not the same.’

Zuma said he would ‘never be embarrassed by development in rural areas’ and ‘that rural development had to start somewhere’.

Last August, Mazibuko said she would formally ask the chairman of the standing committee on public accounts (Scopa), Themba Godi, to investigate why the government had decided to spend so much money on a single village when the money could have been spread across many impoverished rural areas in KZN. This after Mazibuko had said formally to Max Sisulu in July 2012: ‘I will today write to the Public Protector, Adv. Thuli Madonsela, and request that she extend her respective investigations into the upgrade of President Zuma’s home at Nkandla, and the spending of R2-billion on ‘Zumaville’, to include the possible improper benefits afforded to members of President Jacob Zuma’s family using diverted state resources at Nkandla in KwaZulu.

This after reports today allege that Michael and Joseph Zuma had supplies worth R545,249 by Electricity Company Voltex delivered to their homes as part of the ‘prestige project’ – the same project which has been used to pay for the upgrade to President Zuma’s private home in Nkandla.

I will also send this most recent development in the ‘Nkandlagate’ scandal to the Speaker of the National Assembly, Max Sisulu, to further justify my call for an urgent Parliamentary Inquiry into this matter. It cannot be acceptable for Parliament to remain silent, while skeletons continue to tumble out of President Zuma’s Nkandla closet daily.

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Using public funds for the unjustifiable benefit of any individual is not only grossly unethical but it also stands in clear violation of the Executive Ethics Act of 1998, which prohibits Cabinet Members, Deputy Ministers and MEC’s from doing the following:

Using their position or any information entrusted to them to enrich themselves or improperly benefit any other person On Sunday, the DA’s representative on Scopa, Dion George, had criticized Mzobe’s involvement in another alleged scandal, a R1-billion food-for-the- poor development. Speaking to the Cape Argus, George said both the more- recent food matter, as well as ‘Zumaville’, would be the subject of investigations by the DA’s team on Scopa, ‘with a view to them both being discussed formally and publicly at Scopa’. Last October, Public Protector Thuli Madonsela announced that her office would investigate ‘Zumaville’ - Cape Argus. On May 4, 2014 the Sunday Times reporter Bongani Mthethwa said that Jacob Zuma was pressing ahead with the plan to build South Africa’s first ‘post-apartheid town right on his Nkandla homestead’s doorstep. The project was known as the Umlazi-Nkandla Smart Growth Centre and

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS challenges that had previously been encountered would be resolved in the next few weeks. Jacques wondered if this related to an assured outcome in the May 7, 2014 elections. He also pondered whether the ‘Private Investors’, mentioned but not named by Uthungulu District Municipality Mayor Thembeka Mchunu in regard to the financing of Zumaville, could possibly be from another colonising force from another continent. Municipal Manager Sthembiso Mthembu of the Nkandla Municipality, which reports to Uthungulu District Municipality, said that he knew nothing about this development, other than what was reported in the press. He wondered why Nxamalala was chosen for the intended development when in fact more people lived in Nkandla. The population of Nxamalala is 3,316 with a 56,47% unemployment rate and the youth unemployment rate of 60% Questions by the Sunday Times reporter addressed to Mtobeli Mxotwa, the spokesperson for the Department of Rural Development, drew no response. Zuma’s cousin and co-chair of the Masibambisane Development Initiative, Sibusiso ‘Deebo’ Mzobe, is driving the Zumaville Project. A feasibility study completed reveals plans to spend:  Mamba One Stop Development Centre R12,8m  Lindela Thusong Service Centre 14,2m  Educational Facilities R179,0m  Agricultural & Industrial Facilities R146,0m  Commercial Facilities R68,0m  Environmental Facility R46,0m  Government Complex R69,0m  Housing R136,0m

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An astute Free Press spoke to its audience ‘His reaction to the Nkandla scandal and his refusal to ever accept responsibility for his actions bring questions of morality, integrity, leadership and his understanding of democratic and legal process into the equation. He also does not act like someone who knows his tenancy of the Presidency is at the mercy of those very processes, his party and the voters, nor does he act like someone who is about to serve his final term as President of the Republic of South Africa.

Given Zuma’s actions over his entire term as president and given the ANC’s wish for a two-thirds majority in the upcoming general election in order to be able to change the Constitution, it is perhaps time to ask the critical question: will Zuma be prepared to step down and relinquish power at the end of his final term, or will he finally complete the Zimbabwefication of South Africa, change the Constitution and stay on in the Presidency as one of Africa’s Big Men, the next Robert Mugabe, making South Africa his personal fiefdom?’

Zuma responded to Parliament on the fourteenth day as required by Madonsela’s Report.

In the statement Zuma has decided that he will give full and proper consideration to the matter only once he receives a report from the Special Investigating Unit (SIU). The SIU is also investigating the R246-million upgrades at the president’s request. Only once its investigation is concluded, will Zuma provide Parliament with any interventions he considers appropriate.

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The SIU’S website mysteriously changed the status of their Nkandla investigation from ‘complete’ to ‘incomplete’ on that day. The Special Investigating Unit (SIU) head advocate, Vas Soni, has since told Eyewitness News that he hopes to give a final report to President Jacob Zuma on his Nkandla investigation within the next six to seven weeks. Soni also said that he will investigate the mysterious change of status on the website. Zuma said on Wednesday he would wait for the SIU's report before making further submissions to Parliament in response to Public Protector Thuli Madonsela's findings that he benefitted from government spending on his KwaZulu-Natal home.

Madonsela said Zuma violated the Executive Ethics Code by failing to protect state resources.

Speaker Max Sisulu will now consult with all political parties on Zuma’s response, and how Parliament should deal with the Public Protector’s report. Parliament is currently in recess, but MPs can be called back from their constituencies to deal with this matter.

Zuma’s response was generally seen as yet another delaying tactic given the imminent elections.

The Fourth Pillar was justifiably outraged and eloquently expressed the sentiments of all democratically minded South Africans ‘How safe are we as a nation when the president claims to

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS have no knowledge of what is happening immediately around him?

The nation has every right to be angry.

According to President Jacob Zuma, he did not ask for the upgrades. When the contractors moved in at Nkandla, he did not know what they were up to. He just allowed the upgrades to happen. Zuma might fool some of his cabinet members but this nation is aware that the head of state is being economical with the truth.

The Clergy too was outraged: ‘Anglican Archbishop of Cape Town Thabo Makgoba called on Zuma to take responsibility for the lack of trust in the current government.

He's led an interfaith march from District Six to Parliament against corruption and abuse of power in government.

Makgoba who is accompanied by his predecessor’s archbishops Desmond Tutu and Njongonkulu Ndungane, has appealed to Zuma to prove that he neither directly nor indirectly personally benefited from the multi-million-rand security upgrade at his private residence in Nkandla.

Makgoba says South Africa deserves leaders who take responsibility for their actions.

‘We want to believe our President when he said that he didn’t rob our nation's treasury. But if he didn't, did he hold the step ladder? If he did hold the step ladder, sadly he's as guilty as the person who climbed through your window. All this lead me to some questions. Mr. President, how much longer do the citizens of South Africa have to wait for you to

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS explain how you came to make the decisions you made on Nkandla?’

He said Zuma needed to address South Africans on the matter urgently as there were historic levels of distrust towards the government. ‘We need to hear the voice of responsibility speak’ Makgoba said South Africa's current ‘historic opportunity’ was not the celebration of two decades of democracy, but rather how Zuma decided the fate of the country.

‘It's in your moments of decision or indecision that our destiny is shaped.

As the ANC extends to Zuma a rope with which to hang himself, the damage to the country continues.

For Zuma to state that he owes no one a cent is laughable.

Though some in the ANC are angry about what has happened there is nothing they can do about it. Zuma has huge support and members of his faction occupy top party posts.

But the Nkandla scandal will never go away.

What we have in Zuma is an imposed leader. He has no feelings for this nation.

For him to say he owes us nothing points to a leadership that has lost its compass.

The amount of money spent on Zuma's house cannot be swept under the carpet. An explanation will have to come from his office.

It's becoming a worrying trend that Zuma claims not to know that he is responsible for issues that clearly demand leadership. With the Nkandla

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS debacle, we are waiting to see whether Zuma will fall on his sword or fire one of his ministers. The masses should be out on the streets demanding that Zuma resign. But the president is digging in his heels, safe in the knowledge that ANC members won't lift a finger. The sooner we change our electoral system, the better - or we will continue to be led by men who know nothing and are responsible for nothing while all around them everything burns’.

Jacques was aware that at this point that Advocate Madonsela’s Report on Nkandla contained issues and questions put to Zuma which remained unanswered despite intensive follow up by Madonsela prior to the release of her report. These questions were on key issues that would reveal whether or not he had misled Parliament. This failure creates a further suspicion around his intentions.

The questions which the President failed to answer on record for Advocate Madonsela's investigation are:

. Whether he or the Presidency requested that security measures be installed at his private residence;

. Whether he was at any stage informed of the cost of the proposed security measures;

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. Whether a notice declaring his private residence a National Key Point was served on him;

. What he understood to be his responsibilities as the owner of a National Key Point;

. What measures he took to secure his private residence as required by the National Key Points Act;

. Whether he was advised that some of the cost of securing his private residence as a National Key Point would be recovered from him;

. Whether he was presented by Mr Makhanya with the designs of the project;

. Whether he received the letter consisting of a detailed report on the progress made with the project that was addressed to him by former Minister Mahlangu-Nkabinde on 5 November 2010;

. Whether he received the document setting out the apportionment of cost for the project that was prepared by the Department of Public Works;

. Whether Deputy Minister Bogopane-Zulu discussed the conversion of the fire-pool to a swimming pool with him and whether he was aware of the reasons for this conversion;

. Whether he was consulted about the relocation of the households that were affected by the implementation of the project;

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. Whether he was opposed to more contractors working on the site during phase 2 of the project;

. Whether Deputy-Minister Bogopane-Zulu discussed the design of the Military Clinic with him;

. Whether he would be willing to disclose the amount that he paid for the construction of the new dwellings on his property;

. How often he uses his private residence for official business;

. Why he would prefer using his private residence for official business rather than one of the official residences available to him;

. Whether he at any stage enquired into the cost of the project; and

. If not, whether he as the head of state did not feel obliged to do so as a substantial amount of public money was obviously being spent.

The President eventually responded, not with clear answers to the 29 questions put to him, but with a statement on the matter.

In this statement, he noted that ‘I deem it neither prudent nor proper for me to comment particularly where the Public Protector has had access to a range of Ministers and officials properly tasked with this responsibility’.

Since most of the questions were not answered, the Public Protector wrote to him again on 8 October 2013, listing the outstanding questions.

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The President responded, again not with the answers, but with a request for evidence to be furnished to justify the questions.

He also refused to provide proof of the bond.

Where evidence was necessary, which was only for a few of the questions, the Public Protector submitted these, as he had requested.

To this date, he has yet to reply and no further correspondence was received from him, which left a large number of the questions asked, unanswered.

Furthermore, in a letter sent to the Public Protector, responding to the Provisional Report on 14 February 2014, President Zuma accused the Public Protector's investigation of being ‘tainted by lack of proper procedure’ and he claimed that it lacked ‘integrity as this has been compromised by several leaks’.

What is crystal clear from the information set out above is that President Zuma treated the investigation with disdain, did not fully cooperate with it, blatantly ignored correspondence from a Chapter Nine institution, and failed to provide all the information requested of him. No answers have ever been forthcoming and have a direct bearing on possible future impeachment proceedings. The basis of the charges, and the ultimate directive of Madonsela’s findings, was for Zuma, with the assistance of the National Treasury and the police, to pay back part of the total cost of upgrades that she found did not pertain directly to the security at the compound.

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These include the visitors centre, amphitheatre, cattle kraal, chicken run, and swimming pool, all which total nearly R79m. Jacques found a four year old report from the Fourth Pillar which indicated that one of the main contractors had a Chinese connection. He read the report: ‘In mid-November 2009, when the public works department was already in a flurry over the increasingly complicated security upgrades at President Jacob Zuma’s Nkandla homestead, the director of one of its main contractors was rubbing shoulders with ANC top brass in Guangzhou, China.

Pamela Mfeka, the sole director of Moneymine Enterprises, which was already on site at Nkandla in 2009 doing private work for Zuma, was accompanied by her husband, Michael Mfeka, on the five-day trip to the People’s Republic of China.

Pamela, who also owns Igugu Training and Investments and Igugu Functions Venue, was a member of the delegation, organised by the African National Congress’s Progressive Business Forum.

The trip was led by the African National Congress’s former treasurer general, Mathews Phosa.

Michael Mfeka, who is not listed as a director of his wife’s companies, worked as Moneymine’s project manager at the controversial Nkandla building site.

Towards the end of 2009, the department was already spending money it had not secured -- it was following instructions from the Police and the Defence Department for extensive and expensive

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS security upgrades to Zuma’s private residence.

The estimated cost at that stage was R27.8-million; the projected cost by October 2012 was R270- million. In March 2010, a few months after the China trip, the department’s Jean Rindel, who was overseeing the Nkandla upgrades, explained why Moneymine had been appointed as a phase one contractor despite the deviation from normal procurement procedures.

Rindel noted: ‘The owner of the property had appointed a contractor, Moneymine Investments, to construct new accommodation at the site. The current status of that project is that the contractor is on site and construction is 15% completed. The state has the obligation to include the security measures in the existing and the new accommodation’.

Rindel noted that, as no other contractor could do the job, the work could not go out on open tender.

‘It is essential that Moneymine construction be appointed under the negotiated procedure to eliminate risks. The contractor is security cleared by the National Intelligence Agency and is trusted by the owner of the property’.

‘It is thus essential that the same contractor, Moneymine Investments, be appointed to complete the works,’ he wrote.

Shortly after the memorandum, Rindel’s pleas were answered in the affirmative, despite the fact that Moneymine had in effect been appointed to do

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS the security installations and other works in the initial phase of the project. In January 2011, the firm Moneymine was again guaranteed work for phase two of the Nkandla Project.

Another department document suggests that the decision to go with a “negotiated bid” at that stage was also indirectly prompted by Zuma: ‘A meeting was held with Deputy Minister [of Public Works] Hendrietta Bogopane-Zulu (and other senior officials) on 21 December 2010 in which she confirmed that the principal [Zuma] indicated that he does not want other contractors on site in phase two’.

Phase two related mostly to the installation of additional ‘security measures’, including 31 new buildings, police accommodation, bullet-proof glass and installation of a security surveillance system.

Rindel and other public works department officials consistently motivated for Moneymine’s appointments to be rolled over to ensure the ‘integration’ of Zuma’s private upgrades with those works of the Public Works Department’. The company was also handed the remainder of work left by Bonelena, which the department fired in April during phase three, for which Moneymine received an extra R3.47-million in cash.

Moneymine has also received a number of other lucrative contracts from the Public Works Department.

Michael Mfeka said neither he nor his wife could comment on Moneymine’s involvement at

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Nkandla. He said that they were ‘not allowed to talk to the press’ and that the department ‘has all the information’. -- Additional reporting by Xanthe Hunt Jacques saw the connection between the imposed Architect Menzi Simelane and Michael Mfeka, Moneymine’s project manager on Nkandla. ‘Why would the owner of the main contractor and the project manager, her husband, be keen to visit Guangzhou in China. Again Jacques lifted from the Fourth Pillar the record of that visit.

The ANC's Progressive Business Forum (PBF) yesterday (16 November 2009) returned from Guangzhou, People's Republic of China, where it hosted a successful Tourism & Trade Seminar over the period 12 - 15 November 2009. Over 80 South African Businessmen and women accompanied the PBF.

ANC Treasurer General Mathews Phosa and Minister for Social Development, Edna Molewa accompanied the delegation. The CPC Vice- Minister for the International Department, Li Jingjun, as well as other senior officials from Beijing, the Guangdong Province and City of Guangzhou also attended and addressed the seminar.

The PBF worked closely with the China Economic Cooperation Council (CECC) and the China Council for the Promotion of International Trade (CCPIT) in organising the event and for mobilising Chinese business delegates. The PBF also entered into cooperation agreements with the two Chinese organisations.

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The event was organised in a manner intended to empower South African delegates in doing business in China and to introduce the Chinese participants to the South African economy. Pre-arrangements were also made whereby South African companies were introduced to appropriate and similar Chinese enterprises for the purpose of exploring trade and investment opportunities, and to introduce businesses to each other in order to establish relationships between them, which could potentially lead to mutually beneficial trade. In terms of the agreements entered into between the PBF, the CECC and the CCPIT, companies can in future also work through these organisations in order to make contact with like-minded enterprises.

The PBF has been embarking on trade missions such as this since November 2008 in order to give further practical content to the bi-lateral trade agreements between the two countries. The primary intention is to broaden the global footprint of South Africans in the developing world, and to further promote South-South trade relationships’.

Jacques wondered about the Zwelithini, Zuma and the Chinese link to Zumaville and Nkandla and whether all of this tied into the Chinese investing in Nkandla, Cornubia and the KwaZulu Natal Northern Growth Corridor. Surely major contracts were involved in the infrastructural upgrades.

********************

A member of the Fourth Pillar nostalgically wrote a piece on Nkandla:

‘I knew Nkandla before it was a thing? I used to drive past it on my way home to Gingindlovu, on

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS that drive I miss so much. From Johannesburg, I used to leave the N3 at Villiers and head through Memel and Vrede, down into Newcastle and across to Vryheid, and then skim past Ulundi and Nkandla on my way down to Melmoth and Eshowe.

The Western Cape, with some reason, gets a lot of the plaudits. But, at the right time of day, I’m not sure there is a more beautiful part of our country than the hills of Zululand. There is softness to the light there, a light that some cinematographers often labour to reproduce and so seldom get right. Dennis Hopper caught it for the happier moments in Easy Rider. George Roy Hill got it right in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. But it is so special that it’s all but impossible to reproduce.

It is breathlessly hot in summer, sending crickets and cicadas into a frenzy. If there’s a breeze, it ripples lazily through the cane, never in a hurry.

Nkandla Forest is an indigenous mist-belt forest that sports astonishing biodiversity and birdlife. It is cut through with deep gorges, waterfalls and soaring trees. It is also a place full of myth and history, and features in Zulu lore as a place of refuge and retreat. The name itself derives from a word meaning to wear out, or tire.

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It was to Nkandla — a natural redoubt at the top of the 15m Mome waterfall — that, in 1883, King Cetshwayo fled after his homestead at Ondini was attacked by a rival. Cetshwayo had been in exile in London and on his return the kingdom, shattered as it had been by the British at Ulundi in 1879 and divided into compartments by the colonial government, had descended into feuding and civil war. Incidentally, in his king’s defence, one Ntshingwayo Khoza was also killed at Ondini.

Khoza had commanded the king’s forces at iSandlwana, where Britain had suffered its greatest ever colonial defeat, a shock that would reverberate around the world but, perhaps, surprised nobody who really knew the Zulus. It was an ignominious end to a scandalously overlooked great South African.

Cetshwayo died a few months later at Eshowe. The spot is marked with a slightly depressing monument in the middle of a traffic island. The king is buried in a remote part of Nkandla Forest. His grave site is cared for by the community there, and it is notoriously hard to find and a good 4x4 is required. I have never been but with permission one day I hope to get there.

Khoza’s grave was unmarked and, so far as I am aware, its location has been lost. Chief Bambatha kaMancinza also sought refuge from Natal colonial forces during the Bambatha rebellion at Nkandla.

I suppose the most heartbreaking thing about the story of independent KwaZulu is that its founding by King Shaka in the 1820s and its demise in 1879 are separated by much less than a healthy human lifespan. It is said that the old folk who witnessed

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS the humiliation of Cetshwayo could remember a time before the Zulus were more than just a family.

This history lives and breathes in the hills around Eshowe, Melmoth and Nkandla. It’s tangible and beautiful, a persistent reminder that this place is different, that these unassuming little places are at the heart of the Mfecane history of civil upheavals and the implications that followed for the subcontinent. If you haven’t been, you really should go.

But, of course, Nkandla’s real history now faces popular oblivion in the face of this grotesque thing that President Zuma has done there. For me, Nkandla has always been about an extraordinary history and an extraordinary people; a semi-secret, almost sacred place at the centre of one of our country’s greatest stories, and of one of our most storied peoples.

I suppose it will forever be my privilege that it still is. Zuma will go one day, and people will not seek out his headstone. In all of the anger about what he has done (or not done), I find great catharsis in this epitaph’.

************************

Jacques remembered a long forgotten piece of wisdom from Confucius on Democracy:

‘From the loving example of one family, love extends throughout the state; from its courtesy, courtesy extends throughout the state; while the ambition and perverse recklessness of one man may plunge the entire state into rebellion and disorder’.

***********************

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Finally, late on April 8, 2014 it was reported by the Beeld newspaper that National Assembly speaker Max Sisulu had decided to investigate the Nkandla report before the May 7 elections.’ Sisulu had decided to set up a multiparty parliamentary ad hoc committee to consider Public Protector Thuli Madonsela’s report about costly security upgrades to President Jacob Zuma’s private home in Nkandla, KwaZulu-Natal.

The mandate of the ad hoc committee is to consider the submissions by the President in response to the Public Protector's Report and make recommendations, where applicable.

The ad hoc committee would be made up of seven African National Congress members, two from the Democratic Alliance, one from the Inkatha Freedom Party, one from the Congress of the People, and another single member from an unnamed party.

It would determine its own procedure, frequency and time of its meetings.

‘The committee is to report no than later April 30, 2014,’ Parliament said.

Madonsela had published her report on Nkandla on March 19.

Among the findings were that Zuma unduly benefited from the upgrades to his KwaZulu-Natal

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS homestead, and that he should pay back a portion of the money. ********************

In terms of the Executive Members’ Ethics Act of 1998 the Public Protector is also empowered to investigate breaches of the Executive Ethics Code passed in terms of the Act.

Section 2.3 of the Code of Ethics state that Members of the Executive (which includes the President and any other member of the cabinet) may not wilfully mislead the legislature to which they are accountable; act in a way that is inconsistent with their position; use their position or any information entrusted to them, to enrich themselves or improperly benefit any other person; expose themselves to any situation involving the risk of a conflict between their official responsibilities and their private interests; or receive remuneration for any work or service other than for the performance of their functions as members of the Executive.

*********************

Nkandla is SA’s Watergate moment. ‘Watergate was forty years ago, but memories of a secret security project gone very badly rogue and that ended up being traced right into the president’s office – and a whole host of lesser officials caught by its tendrils as well – came flooding right back as the Public Prosecutor’s briefing took place on television. In the end, in Watergate, a president was compelled to resign rather than face being found guilty in a vote by the US Senate, so maybe the end game will be rather different; it is still early days’- Pierre de Vos

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‘Nkandla is very damaging to the ANC. I think they will lose votes because of it. I think Jacob Zuma is in trouble. I cannot see how the opulence of Nkandla won’t be very damaging.

The fact that Public Protector Thuli Madonsela is fighting this with so much courage is an enormous plus for the South African constitution and for our ability to attract foreign investment’ said veteran South African Politician Dr. Alex Borain.

‘This is our Watergate moment. If Nixon had managed to suppress the evidence, what kind of America would have emerged? That is the kind of moment we’re all in right now’

*********************

City Press reported on April 13, 2014: ‘The ANC is deliberately delaying the work of the parliamentary ad hoc committee of inquiry into the improvements to President Jacob Zuma's private homestead in Nkandla to let him off the hook’, says DA federal chairman Dr Wilmot James’.

James told a DA public meeting in Hartenbos, outside Mossel Bay in Western Cape, at the weekend that he was certain the ANC in parliament would take the full 10 days it was allowed to nominate its members to the ad hoc committee.

He said this would, in reality, leave the committee with only two days to finish its work, given the April 30 deadline and the number of holidays in between.

James said ‘the Nkandla saga showed that Zuma behaved like an old-style king who enjoyed living in luxury while those regarded as his subjects wallowed in abject poverty’.

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As we approach the May 7, 2014 elections in South Africa Jacques thought it appropriate to remember James Myburgh’s informative report released prior to the last elections where Jacob Zuma prevailed with monetary assistance from, inter alia, China.

Is the ANC selling out our sovereignty?

James Myburgh 24 March 2009 ‘In its section on party funding in Africa the IDEA handbook notes that those sources of funding most incompatible with democracy are kickbacks from recipients of government contracts and other largesse, diverting state resources to the governing party through front organizations, and donations from foreign sources such as business owners, multinationals and governments. In addition in many African countries the use and abuse of state resources is a corrupt form of massive public funding available only to the governing party.

The advantages that can accrue to ruling parties are a major contributing factor to democratic atrophy in Africa. As IDEA notes: In many African countries Governing parties' use of state resources, with evident impunity, and their brazen demand for and acceptance of kickbacks explain much of the apparent electoral impregnability of many African governing parties, even those with clear records of economic and human rights failures. They manage to build such formidable electoral war-chests that their impoverished opponents usually have little chance.

Apart from donations from foreign sources, there is already much evidence in the public domain of the ANC using these other dubious means to advantage

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS itself and secure its position. The dangers for democracy in South Africa are also similar. At a time when this country should be looking forward to a more pluralistic and responsive democracy - and the ruling party to a much reduced majority - the ANC may succeed in simply buying its way back to a two-thirds majority’.

Meanwhile in the current election campaign it has been revealed that the Nuclear Energy Corporation (Necsa) used state resources to fund the ruling party’s election drive casting a shadow on an entity that will soon adjudicate over the biggest public tenders yet awarded. This year bidders from Russia, China and France will be vying for contracts worth more than R1,0-trillion to build nuclear reactors in South Africa.

Last time it was the despicable ‘Arms Deal’ debacle.

‘We get the money from government. How can we use it to fund the ANC?’ said a Necsa board member who spoke to the Fourth Pillar on condition of anonymity.

President Jacob Zuma attended this election drive event to launch the ANC election manifesto in Nelspruit, Mpumalanga in January 2014.

******************************

In an interview with the Sunday Times on April 27, 2014 the Chairman of Nedbank, Reuel Khoza, said that when the country’s leaders begin to steal in a manner that is difficult to unravel, there is a kleptocracy at work, not a democracy.

He argued that if people led without the necessary moral authority, chances were they would soon

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘mislead effectively’, as had Zimbabwe’ President Mugabe.

****************************

Jacques went on to read a spoof by Matthew Burbridge of the Mail & Guardian on April fool’s Day which may be closer to the truth than any self- respecting South African realises.

‘The M&G can reveal that China's relationship with its smaller Brics cousin has just become a lot cozier, with a rural residence for its president. Diplomatic sources, who were not authorized to comment officially, told the Mail & Guardian that China's President Xi Jinping and President Jacob Zuma sealed a new bilateral deal on the sidelines of the Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa (Brics) summit in Durban last week.

The deal provides for the aggressive enlargement of Zuma's rural homestead in Nkandla and will include a new residence for Xi, his family, and entourage.

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The deal is apparently being kept under wraps. The Nkandlagate scandal came to light after a string of reports revealed that over R246-million would be forked out for infrastructural improvements at the president's private residence at Nxamalala in rural Nkandla, KwaZulu-Natal.

The M&G has previously reported that there would be a clinic, as well as a helipad, medical clinic, bulletproof glazing and air-conditioning in certain residential units as well as a bunker at Nkandla. The upgrade is currently the subject of an investigation by public protector Thuli Madonsela, although a public works department report on alleged abuse of public funds during the upgrades found no signs of wrongdoing.

The plans for the expansion – which the M&G has seen – include a tea house and small tea estate, which is likely to thrive, given the area's high rainfall and fertile soil. The plans also provide for a small Chinese take-away.

Comment from the Department of International Relations and Cooperation was not immediately forthcoming.

President Zuma, a prominent tea drinker, has often been seen sipping Rooibos and honey, said to be his favorite drink. It is not known whether Xi enjoys tea’.

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‘So was this the agribusiness for which 50,000 hectares of precious South Africa soil had been ‘allocated’ to the Chinese by King Goodwill Zwelithini and the Ingonyama Trust?’ pondered Jacques as he recalled the report on Pengxin given by Elias Khumalo. ‘BEK-Pengxin Agritech eventually hopes to have access to one million hectares of land across the country, producing regional products from province to province.

Trustee Govender of Ingonyama Trust had told ‘City Press’ that the initial tract of land identified stood at about 40 000 hectares, but that they hoped to increase this to about 60 000 hectares after negotiations with the KwaZulu Natal provincial government.

‘The idea is to create sustainable agribusiness around the country, starting with the pilot project here in KwaZulu-Natal, which we would replicate in other provinces as time goes on’.

This surely was a sell out by South Africa to colonialist China.

Jacques thought of Zulu barman Brian’s question to the Colonel at the Sizzling Steak way back.

‘Well Colonel, how come the Zulu’s are back in charge now?’

The answer Brian is that they are not, the Chinese are’.

President Jacob Zuma has defended China's surging investment in Africa, telling an audience at Beijing's Renmin University that China was making

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS an important contribution to the development of the continent.

‘We are still at an early stage of what will be an exciting journey, a journey out of poverty, a journey to sustainable improvements in the lives of our people, here in China, and on the African continent,’ President Zuma said on Wednesday, the second day of his state visit to the country.

Zuma's comments come as the debate over China's role in Africa continues to rage. Critics have raised concerns about China's support for countries like Sudan and Zimbabwe, as well as its questionable worker safety rules.

‘Chinese assistance in infrastructure development in some of the less developed parts of Africa is certainly making an important contribution to future African development,’ Zuma said.

African countries remain an attractive destination for Chinese investment funds, though Africa is looking for China to expand its investments beyond mining and resources.

South Africa, for its part, is looking to the world's second-largest economy to increase its investment in the country. South Africa is strategic for China in that it is Africa's largest and most advanced economy.

South African President Jacob Zuma and Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao signed the Beijing Declaration, outlining 38 cooperation agreements, following their one-hour talks in the Great Hall of the People in Beijing on Tuesday

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And on the same day, Chinese and South African companies signed more than a dozen agreements covering investments in railways, power transmission, construction, mining, insurance, telecoms and nuclear power. Zuma was accompanied on his trip by over 370 representatives from the business community, the largest ever contingent from South Africa to visit China’.

******************

Ryan was the first to notice the new interest in industrial property. He stood in the waving sugar- cane fields with the Land Surveyor trying to identify the survey pegs on a monstrous hill of sugar cane in Cornubia.

‘The sellers are going to have to flatten this hill between those pegs that I have just pointed out to you’ said the Land Surveyor.

‘What will they do with the soil and the cane’ asked Ryan. ‘Probably sub-contract the locals to find a use for it. Then we will end up with beach sand and cane plants in Kloof’ said the Land Surveyor packing this survey instruments into the back of his pick-up.

‘Who are your buyers anyway Ryan’

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‘They are some wealthy dudes from China. They speak through an interpreter and then, on a given signal, they all smile and bow at the same time. I am then expected to smile and bow in return. Bleeding circus’ laughed Ryan.

‘Once the hill has been removed, your clients can bring their Offer to Purchase and their own surveyor to confirm the perimeter’ said the surveyor departing in a storm of dust.

‘Bloody British came here and planted all of this shit, now the goddam Chinese are here to dig it all up again. Don’t we South Africans do anything for ourselves?’ thought Ryan as he wheel-spun out of Cornubia in search of the first cold one of the afternoon.

********************

President Jacob Zuma officially opened The Cornubia Project on Sunday, 06 April 2014. It forms part of government's initiative to integrate the South African society through decent human settlements as well as deliver housing to people for a better life for all.

At completion, the Cornubia Project will finally yield 28,000 mixed income housing units, light industrial factories, retail parks, schools, various businesses and recreational parks.

This enormous development is anticipated to create approximately 48,000 new and sustainable job opportunities over a period of 15 years. The close proximity to the King Shaka International Airport will further increase employment opportunities for the project beneficiaries. Government remains committed to address and eliminate entrenched

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS apartheid spatial patterns and is working hard towards building cohesive, sustainable and caring communities with improved access to work and social amenities by providing decent human settlements.

The Cornubia Project is a joint venture between the National Department of Human Settlements, the KwaZulu-Natal Department of Human Settlements and Public Works, eThekwini Metropolitan and Tongaat Hewlett.

President Zuma performed the official opening ceremony and was accompanied by Minister of Human Settlements, Ms Connie September, KwaZulu-Natal Premier, Mr Senzo Mchunu, and

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS eThekwini Executive Mayor Councillor James Nxumalo.

In an interview with SAnews, Kwanele Ncalane, spokesperson for the KwaZulu-Natal MEC for Transport, confirmed that an agreement had been reached by all parties involved regarding the funding of the future interchanges. ‘The KwaZulu-

Natal Department of Transport is going to contribute. However at this stage, we are not in a position to disclose the actual investment in the project,’ Ncalane said.

Jacques wondered who was in the party of funders regarding future interchanges mentioned by the spokesman for the KwaZulu MEC for Transport.

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The People’s Republic of China is very fond of funding infrastructural projects and road linkages elsewhere in Africa.

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Chapter 9 The End

______

The news broke in the Village early one Saturday morning. Soft rain fell out of grey skies and brought respite to the stifling low pressure system that had built up through several hot, sailing, swimming and sweating days. That relief, caused by water laden clouds drifting in off the warm Indian Ocean, propelled by a gentle north easterly wind, was now sifting down gently and had the locals huddled over their drinks far earlier than usual.

‘Daniel, I believe that you and Robyn have sold Larry’s Linguini and are buying the Pickled Pork Chop’ said Ryan, the Village’s own property guru.

‘That’s right’ said Daniel looking a bit sheepish.

‘That is a real tragedy. The locals had so much fun here over the years and you and Robyn have become family’ said Ryan solemnly.

‘We are not dying, just moving across the road’ countered Daniel.

‘Ja, but your position on Ambush Alley made Larry’s a secluded, plant shrouded hide-away for all of the shenanigans that take place in the Village. And besides, Ambush Alley is a natural dance floor’.

‘Larry’s is not moving. It will still be here, so what’s your point Ryan’

‘Just won’t be the same’ mumbled Ryan and stooped into the whispering rain.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘Wait till he hears that the buyer is the original Luigi’ said Daniel to nobody there.

*************

Jacques sat waiting at ‘Dreamers’ for Johan to arrive. ‘We can’t have a pattern of venues and must present a moving target at all times’ Johan had explained in setting the venue. Seated at the back of the restaurant Johan began furtively.

‘Meneer, I have been through your summation and in Police terms there is enough here to investigate, substantiate, question and seek repudiation. As a dossier it is substantial and alarming. Now the problem is where we now take it’.

‘I’m in your hands’ said Jacques

‘On the contrary skattie, I am in yours’

‘What do you mean’ said Jacques

‘My route to prosecuting this is compromised by several spooks in high positions. We have to find an unimpeachable source to expose our findings. Any ideas?’

Jacques gazed absently around the bustling restaurant, chewed his gums, nodded and smiled to some acquaintances then blurted out far too loudly

‘Ek het dit!!’

‘Softly’ admonished Johan

‘Sorry. I don’t have much experience at this but here goes nothing’ said Jacques.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘There was a man in this similar position just after 1994. He shall remain nameless but from the story you will know exactly who I am talking about’.

Johan leaned forward intently and Jacques prolonged his agony by ordering another coffee.

‘He was an admirer of the African National Congress and after 1994 became a Member of Parliament. He served on several committees including the Parliamentary Ethics Committee. In fulfilling his duty to his country, he pointed out several breeches in the procurement process in the acquisition of assets by the South African Armed Forces. When his findings were covered up by several executive dudes in our Government, he resigned from Government and from the ANC’.

Jacques raised his hand for a waiter so as to create more suspense and drama.

‘Jacques, vergeet nou van die bliksemse koffee!’ boomed Johan now in cop mode ‘ek weet wievan jy praat maar hoe kry ons hom in die hande’.

‘Simple’ said Jacques ‘I will phone him’.

Jacques explained ‘Around the time that our mystery man left South Africa and moved to England, I wrote to him praising him for his moral courage and sympathizing with him for his loss of faith in the ANC and his shabby treatment by them. We have stayed in touch ever since. He has since written an outstanding book on the South African Government’s shameful ethics and another far more powerful expose on the shenanigans of Western Governments’.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘Now how do you like that, jou bliksem’ said Johan slapping Jacques on the shoulder and running the risk of attracting attention’.

Johan dug into his briefcase and unfolded the morning paper in front of Jacques and said ‘We are having a bumper week my mate’.

Jacques read from The Mercury: ‘KwaZulu-Natal police are searching for a Durban man they believe is the kingpin of a massive heroin and mandrax drug-dealing syndicate which was operating from a rented Umhlanga Rocks property.

Police believe the syndicate was selling roughly about 15,000 straws of heroin a day. Twelve people charged in connection with the crime appeared in the Verulam Magistrate’s Court on Thursday on drug-dealing charges. The group were arrested at a Chartwell Drive house on Monday after metro police acted on a tip-off and raided the property. Police found at least 20,000 mandrax tablets, several hundred straws of heroin and 4.5kg of heroin powder at the house. The police estimate the drugs have a value of R5 million, and the house was being used solely for drug packaging. Police also found R220,000 in cash at a nearby International Bank Vault safety deposit box. The drug-packaging operation appears to be similar to the set-up at a Gillitts home where police recently seized mandrax and heroin worth R40m. In the Gillitts case, police said the home was being used as a drug-packaging facility, and that there were seven workstations which had been manned by foreigners to package heroin straws.

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On Thursday, in the Uhhlanga case, prosecutor Dinesh Nandkissor said the State was opposed to bail, and that it needed a seven-day adjournment for the police to verify the personal circumstances of the accused. The investigating officer, Warrant Officer Jean- Pierre van Zyl-Roux, who was called to testify by magistrate Ruby Poobalan, said the house had been used solely for drug packaging. There were seven workstations in the home where drugs were being packaged. He added that the group, and particularly the main accused, Ommie Sheik Mohamed, were flight risks. He said Mohamed’s relative, who was believed to be the kingpin behind the operation, was being sought by the police and had sub-leased the property from the lease-holder. The rent was R15,000 a month, with an additional R2,000 a month for electricity and water. Under cross-examination by the group’s attorney, Faizel Kara, Van Zyl-Roux conceded that Mohamed had handed in her passport and ID to the police. However, he said she could obtain fake documents. Mohamed’s relatives Nawaaz Sheik Mohamed, Rafiq Sheik Mohamed and Jameelah Sheik Mohamed, along with Sizeka Mangaliso, Haroon Omar, Faiza Khan, Philiswa Kolisile, Altaaf Hoosen Sayed, Zaakir Bobat and Laila Sayed are her co- accused. Van Zyl-Roux added that one of the accused, Hassan Gihunga, was a Rwandan national, and his status in the country had to be verified with Home Affairs.

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Kara said his clients should have appeared in court on Tuesday and that their rights had been infringed’

The two pals departed on the basis that Jacques would send an Executive Summary of their findings to the man in England and seek his advice on how to leak the details.

Jacques woke suddenly to smokey green eyes and a hand gently stroking his hair. Tousled blonde hair fell about her face and her pixie smile was, this morning, a little more severe.

‘Jacques baby, I am worried!’

Jacques held her head a planted a kiss amongst the curls on her forehead.

‘What can Jacques do to make it go away?’

‘He can give up the investigation’ she said bluntly

‘Why stress now babe? You have been ok with all of this stuff until now and I have kept you up to date all of the way’ soothed Jacques.

‘Because I had a dream last night’ she said, her brow furrowing under the golden locks.

‘What was it about, girl’ said Jacques holding her face between his hands.

‘Being alone again’ she said through welling sad eyes.

****************************

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘Hello Jacques’ boomed the voice on the speaker phone ‘how the hell are you. Thanks for taking this conference call. I received your Executive Summary here in London yesterday and sat up reading until late. Reminded me a lot of the first fiasco in which I was involved’

‘Hi Andy, I am well, hope you are too. I have Johan with me here. You have his details in the dossier’.

‘Hello Andy pleased to finally meet you. Jacques here has only good things to say about you’ said Johan bending to addressing the dispassionate machine in front of him.

‘Guys, I’ll be brief. Clearly I know many of the people involved and have more than a bone to pick with most of them. I believe that according to Treasury deputy director Andrew Donaldson, the total nominal expenditure on the SDPP [Strategic Defence Procurement Package] between 2000/01 and 2013/14 has been R46, 666 billion.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

However, I have moved on since then. After my International Expose was released I gained the respect of several International Intelligence Agencies not to mention an inside track to many forensic auditors and a tranche of investigative reporters, all with impeccable track records. I think you guys have done a great job considering all of the cover fire from the usual South African sycophants. We will fill in all of the blank spaces by using our resources in the UK and with help from our European and American partners. We are especially interested in your Chinese assertions. It will be my pleasure to use my trusted channels to filter the story judiciously to reliable members of the Fourth Pillar. For obvious reasons, I cannot disclose these channels to you but be assured that the dossier is leaking all over the floor even as we speak. We will not be in contact again. Look in your favorite newspaper for the outcome of your good work. Well done again guys and cheers’.

‘Cheers Andy’ chimed Jacques and Johan. The light switched from green to red, the machine clicked off and went silent.

Johan and Jacques sat quietly with their thoughts for a while then Johan grinned and said:

‘My maaitjie, die koel is nou deur die kerk’.

***********

‘Jacques, Linda thanks for coming’ said the mayor looking impeccable as usual in her blue jacket with white piping, blue and red scarf and white bag. She removed a list from that bag while the mayoress placed a tea order with the waiter.

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After small talk, the tea arrived and the mayoress began. ‘The mayoress and I have come, after good deliberation, to a decision – in fact two decisions’

Jacques and Linda leaned forward with interest.

‘Firstly, I can announce that our popular mayoress has decided to call it a day after ten years in office and wishes to hang up her mayoral chain. It is long overdue that she puts her feet up and so has decided to retire to her beloved farm in the bush- veld. Her term of office in Umhlanga Rocks has at times been fun, exasperating, hard work but she always performed her duties with a smile.

Jacques intoned ‘The locals have enjoyed and loved her honour, the mayoress, and will be sad to see her go. She will be sorely missed by all?

‘That brings me at this point to our second decision’ said the mayor.

‘Linda we have watched you interacting with the locals these past many months and believe that you have the personality, dignity and bearing to fulfil the role of mayoress. We both would be very pleased if you would accept the role of mayoress when my good friend here retires shortly’.

Linda was flabbergasted.

Jacques hugged her and said ‘Baby, this is a great honour, will you do it?’

‘I would be delighted to serve with you, your honour the mayor’ said Linda.

‘Lovely, perfect, congratulations’ said the dainty mayor. Now mayoress our first job, in the spirit of détente, will be to unite the two most distant

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS factions in the Village – the ‘Ladies Club’ and the ‘Witches of Eastwick Club’ – Linda could you please bring Meg Ryan with you to our meeting next week. I have a feeling that we are going to need her help in uniting the foes’

**********************

King Goodwill Zwelithini has had R300,0m set aside for a cultural village at his Enkonyeni Palace in Nongama in Northern KwaZulu Natal. The Department of Arts & Culture says however that the costs of the project could escalate to R600,0m reports Bongani Mthethwa of the Sunday Times.

Ground has been broken on the first phase of the project which will see the construction of 12 of 16 sleeping areas and shower and ablution facilities for some 30,000 Zulu maidens attending the annual ‘reed dance’.

A senior spokesperson from Government recently emphasised that the development and the infrastructure was not only for the king but for the entire Zulu Nation.

The development, known as the Eyokeni Cultural Precinct includes a security fence.

The initiative which is being implemented by the Independent Development Trust and not the Ingonyama Trust, will transform the village into a maze of paved walkways that will link the royal square and existing pavilion. The existing pavilion is also being upgraded.

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The development includes a VIP Area to seat 2,000 visitors.

Improvements will be made to all existing arterial roads to cater for visitors to the September 2014 ‘reed dance’.

Mogomotsi Mogodiri, a spokesperson for the Department of Arts & Culture said that the village would also cater for other royal events such as the first fruit festival that takes place in early December each year.

***********************

As part of the Ingonyama Rural Development Forum’s Brics Programme, King Goodwill Zwelithini addressed a delegation of academics from Fujian Agriculture and Forestry University. The king said that as a result of his collaboration with the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS university, the amakhosi would be enrolled at the institution and he wanted them to be part of the programme because ‘the future is east’. ‘It is my wish that in the near future we also have similar projects where universities in China can offer isiZulu lessons, as that will ensure that there is more understanding between our two nations,’ he said. The relationship between Zwelithini and the Fujian University goes back to 2005, when they helped establish a mushroom project at Cedara. This project will be further expanded and the king has also appealed to China to open its markets to farmers. South Africans who had gone to China to learn about mushroom planting had also been taught how to cultivate rice. The king said this would grow well along the coast. Professor Lin Zhanxi, of the Fujian university, said the mushroom research centre at Cedara was the biggest in Africa. He said they had already expanded the mushroom farming to seven Ingonyama Trust sites in KZN and wanted to use their technology to benefit people around the world.

‘China and South Africa are strategic partners. This is not for commercial purposes – it’s for skills development and empowerment’ he said.

The king launched the Ingonyama Rural Development Forum in 2012 to bring together traditional leaders, experts, research institutions, businesses and policymakers to discuss rural development.

Jacques read a summation on Chinese agricultural ambitions in Africa.

‘It is perhaps naive to believe that China will not ultimately take advantage of vulnerable food resources in Africa to some degree or that China

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS would readily agree to an international standard on foreign agricultural investment. And indeed, African nations may be best served by enacting stronger local land-use policies and demanding more specific agreements, as suggested by Van Braun. However, despite the potential pitfalls, China’s investment in Africa has the potential to significantly change agriculture on the continent. Unprecedented improvements to infrastructure, increases in education and available technology, and an influx of investment capital could bring sustainable solutions to Africa’s food troubles.

Upon closer analysis, China has not earned its harsh reputation. Perhaps in an attempt to reassure its increasingly important African allies, China appears to be exhibiting more caution than it has in the past. Thus far, this caution has differentiated China’s agricultural investment in Africa from its other investment projects on the continent. How long this caution lasts and whether the advancements discussed above will ultimately outweigh the potential negative consequences of China’s investment in Africa remains to be seen’.

Report by: Carl Rubinstein, who is with the Centre for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, D.C. USA.

*****************

Jacques recalled the words from his own earlier research: ‘The large number of legal and illegal Chinese immigrants from mainland China will continue to change the South African social, economic and political landscape’. He shuddered as he studied the direction of illness and poverty in the 2001 Cholera Epidemic Diagram above. The

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS movement was clearly from Nkandla towards the KwaZulu Natal Northern Growth Corridor and down into Durban. Where would the illness and poverty tide meet the industrial, commercial and residential development tide? Could it perhaps be in Cornubia and adjacent bohemian Umhlanga Rocks?

The link between the Zulu King, the Zulu President, the Cornubia Development, the KwaZulu Northern Growth Corridor, the Richards Bay infrastructural port upgrade and the Chinese President was fast coming into focus.

*******************

Nobody was sure how it all started. Thandi was away in Brussels at the time and the Girls Club was thus reduced to three. First Rosy was seen giving Norma a tongue lashing causing Norma’s beautiful features to crumble into tearful submission. Next Rosy was seen scolding the gorgeous Kendall reducing her also to a sobbing wreck. Pop-Up Parties ceased, the Girl’s Club Wednesday meetings ceased and the members were seldom, if ever, seen in the Village together. What caused this disintegration of formerly fun-loving friends was a mystery to the Villagers who now missed the Pop-Up Parties.

There was a common denominator for the cause of this disintegration and it appeared to be Rosy. Rosy was the one causing the Girls Club to slowly fall apart. It was only after careful scrutiny that this could be seen as it went unnoticed by the Villagers.

Rosy lived a peachy life. Her daily routine included lunching with the Colonel or whoever was available,

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS consuming a bottle or two of wine then waiting for the evening get-togethers.

On the early evenings when the Girls Club got together, Rosy was often already well on her way. Norma and Kendall would arrive after a long day at the office, looking forward to a few glasses of wine to relax. Low and behold, Rosy would then have a go at either Norma or Kendall – usually Kendall – about issues in their personal lives. They would be told to ‘suck it up’ and ‘to get a life’. So as time passed, a distance grew between the girls – especially for Kendall. Kendall didn’t live in the village, so she tended to be seen less and less – this was her excuse for not being around as often, but there was more to it.

With Thandi still in Brussels, Kendall felt she no longer belonged to the Girls Club and felt alienated. Thandi and Kendall had a very close friendship, regardless of the distance between them. Kendall at one stage could confide in Norma about certain personal issues but Kendall no longer trusted Rosy. Norma and Rosy still met up often as they both lived in the village, meeting at the Sizzling Steak. However, Kendall was the only one who had the daunting task of driving home after a few glasses of wine.

Another issue that came to the fore, albeit a small issue but an issue nonetheless, was that Kendall no longer picked up and dropped off the girls when going for drinks outside the Village. Rosy had to take on this task which she clearly didn’t appreciate the responsibility. Thus the tension still remained between Rosy and Kendall.

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On the night of Rosy scolding Kendall, Kendall surprisingly retaliated and told Rosy to ‘suck up’ her own issues. Clearly Rosy didn’t like this, for a change someone was telling Rosy her fortune and she was getting a taste of her own medicine. The rift within the Girls Club was growing.

Kendall noticed that she no longer received text messages, especially from Rosy, to include her in lunches and get-togethers. Kendall knew all this was going on but she had other friends in the village. This saddened Kendall at first, but she then realized that she really didn’t need friends like that, that were being two-faced. Norma & Rosy seemed to still have a connection, perhaps it was Rosy poisoning Norma’s mind. We wonder how long this will last, perhaps forever as these were the trysts of the faulty Villagers.

So Kendall was not too perturbed when she met her billionaire Australian wine farmer – she was swept off her feet – at last she had found love & happiness. She would form her own Girls Club in the winelands of her new country of abode.

Thandi will always be the gracious, beautiful lady she is. She will be in whatever country her family needs her to be in, her duties as a wife and mother being fulfilled to the utmost. She will be true and honest to her friends, even if at times some have taken advantage of her and given her incorrect information. Her days of being part of the Girls Club are numbered, Brussels calls once again.

Norma’s future is still uncertain. As sexy and outgoing as she is, she still cannot decide whether she wants to settle down with one man – there is too

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS much excitement in hunting down the men in the rainbow nation that we live in.

As for Rosy, she will live out her life wanting to know everyone’s business and putting in her few cents worth. She will still talk about throwing Pop-Up Parties but seldom will one actually transpire. As long as she can appear in the local newspaper once in a while, for whatever reason, she will carry on her daily trysts.

********************

‘It has begun’ said Johan throwing copies of ‘The Economist’, ‘The Financial Times’ and ‘The Telegraph’ onto the table in front of Jacques at Dreamers. ‘Your mate over in London is mobilizing the Foreign Press on Zuma’s criminal charges issue. I don’t get the New York Times but I am sure they will pick up on the story from the ‘The Telegraph’. The follow-up story will probably introduce the Chinese involvement which is of immense interest to the American readers’.

‘I love it when a plan comes together’ said Jacques smiling and shaking his co-conspirator’s hand.

*************************

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‘Mr Zuma has failed to tackle the scourge of corruption. The ANC under his aegis has sought to undermine the independence of the courts, the police, the prosecuting authorities and the press. It has conflated the interests of party and state, dishing out contracts for public works as rewards for loyalty—hence the bitter jest that the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS government is in hock to ‘tenderpreneurs’. This has reduced economic competitiveness and bolstered fabulously rich black elite. As a result, too little wealth trickles down’.

The Economist also offers some advice to improve integrity and bring about change, including the disposal of the president. ‘One of the parliament’s worst features is its party-list method of choosing members, who are thus entirely in thrall to ANC bosses rather than to the voters: a constituency- based system would make them more accountable’.

Although the ANC still has no obvious alternative leader, the party should look to chuck out Mr Zuma when it holds the next party election though pollsters consider that unlikely’.

The publication also states that South Africa needs political competition. ‘The best hope for the country in years to come is a real split in the ANC between the populist left and the fat-cat right to offer a genuine choice for voters. Until that happens, South Africa is doomed to go down as the rest of Africa goes up’.

*************************

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS Financial Times

May 4, 2014 12:10 pm S Africa’s stuttering economy adds to gloom in run-up to election

By Andrew England in Johannesburg ‘The International Monetary Fund forecasts growth of 6.5 per cent for Sub-Saharan Africa, excluding South Africa this year. But it has revised downwards its estimate for South Africa from 2.8 per cent to 2.3 per cent, which compares to growth of 1.9 per cent in 2013.

Mr Zuma defends his record by pointing out that he took office in 2009 at the height of the global economic crisis. South Africa – the African nation most exposed to global trade and one of the most liquid and traded emerging markets – slumped into a recession that year that cost 1,0m jobs.

But Mr Zuma’s first term has been characterized by complaints over policy indecision, coupled with concerns that corruption and cronyism are on the rise.

Under his watch, labor relations are perceived to have become more volatile and rating agencies have downgraded South Africa. Moody’s and Standard & Poor’s have the country on negative outlook and rating agencies will be watching the elections and the composition of the next government closely.

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Last month, Moody’s cited strike-related business losses, high unemployment and wide income disparities as “credit challenges” for the country.

In December, S&P warned it could lower South Africa’s ratings if the business and investment climate weakens further, for instance if labor disputes escalate again or GDP growth weakens ‘significantly further, or if political tensions rise’.

*******************

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______The Telegraph London Saturday April 26, 2014 ______‘President Zuma is accused of using £13.8m of public money on home improvements’

Siphiwe Sibeko/Reuters.

Criminal charges of corruption, racketeering, fraud and theft of public money were laid against South Africa’s President yesterday.

Jacob Zuma is accused of using public money to pay for a swimming pool, amphitheater, chicken run and other improvements to Nkandla

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS amounting to R79-million at his country home in the KwaZulu Natal province of South Africa.

Mr. Zuma was heavily criticized by the country’s corruption watchdog yesterday. Afterwards, two South African opposition parties visited police stations to lodge 12 charges, including corruption and racketeering’.

********************

The Fourth Pillar said that in his inauguration speech, he had told his future government: ‘We must hold ourselves to the highest standards of service, probity and integrity’. Instead, he has presided over some of the lowest points in South Africa’s post-apartheid history, shielded corrupt cronies and used his background as the ANC’s intelligence chief to deflect critics. The conclusion of a public inquiry into the fatal August 2012 shooting of 34 striking miners by police at Marikana has been repeatedly delayed. The poor state of the country’s education system is rarely out of the headlines since 1.7m children in one province were forced to go without textbooks for almost a year because of local government corruption’.

*************************

Jacques looked back at Zuma’s time in office and the progress made by the African National Congress since 1994 and found a report by the Fourth Pillar’s Stephan Mulholland that alarmed him. The edited gist of Stephan’s article read: ‘South Africa now employs more staff than the private sector. We now have more people on the State Payroll than the United States of America which has a population six

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS times the size of South Africa’s and a Gross Domestic Product 45 times the size.

This occurs while unemployment in the private sector rose.

Public service costs in South Africa are proportionately amongst the highest in the world at about 12% of Gross Domestic Product. This compares to Russia 3.7%, Nigeria 4.0%, Ruanda 3.5%, and Egypt 6.9%.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that the bulk of the 3,03 million civil servants, making up 22,6% of the South African workforce (most governments 11%) will back to the hilt a ruling party that has created for them the largest gravy train in Africa.

In addition, corruption in South Africa has been rampant devouring R30-Bn in public funds a year’.

*************************

Jacques naively thought that this ludicrous state of affairs must surely be grounds for a taxpayers’ march, a taxpayers’ strike or even better, grounds for a taxpayers’ to withhold their taxes in revolt.

He was given the draft of an as yet unpublished book called ‘African Kleptocrats’ in which he read:

‘The book deals with the fifty four African countries that have descended into kleptocracies after the departure of the European colonialists. The book traces in detail the attempts at democracy by the worst ten of these post-colonial African countries and how each has descended into a failed state at the hands of black despots. The book follows the

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS history of these foul regimes and the methods used by their kleptocrats to claim national assets for themselves and their despicable elite connections. These criminal acts are always to the detriment and extreme discomfort of the populations of the affected countries’.

Muammar Gaddafi Child soldiers

Mabuto Seseseko King Maswati

Robert Mugabe Idi Amin

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That author had concluded ‘The purpose of the book is to alert young South Africans to the danger signs which went unheeded for forty or more years in each of Africa's newly democratised countries. South Africa is well down the same road unless their young people become educated, instil Christian middle class values into their societies and throw off the shackles currently placed on them by the greedy and ignorant post Mandela kleptocrats.

Jacques went on to read from a book by the same author called Stepping Stones:

‘Kleptocracy derives from the Greek words kleptes, meaning ‘thief’, and kratos, meaning ‘rule’. It is a word used to describe a government widely engaged in corruption to extend the personal wealth and political power of individuals in the ruling class.

A corrupt and dishonest government, characterised by greed, is described as kleptocratic. Such a government is typically run by rulers who are thieves and who pillage public funds to the detriment of the poor, sometimes without the pretence of offering any form of honest public service.

These kleptocrats then exploit a country’s natural resources for their own greedy benefit.

The money on which these evil managers of men prey is almost always funds earmarked for the building of public amenities, schools, hospitals, roads, parks and public facilities. Thus the ordinary citizen is prejudiced, inconvenienced and deprived by these selfish kleptocrats.

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The term ‘kleptocrat’ was first used in the 1960s to describe the activities of the ruler of the independent Congo, Colonel Joseph Mobutu Seseseko, who plundered the rich natural resources of that country for his personal benefit. However, the term could equally have applied to his colonial predecessor, King Leopold II of Belgium. It is said that the megacity of Brussels, a European Union bastion, was built with the kleptocratic proceeds of the resources of the Congo Basin.

The story of Africa is one of the Europeans plundering the natural resources of the continent and then, when caught with their hands in the cookie jar, hastily effecting a democratic handover to the most likely African kleptocrat’.

‘Same circus, different tent’ thought Jacques as he pondered the new wave of colonialism. This time the rape of Africa was being perpetrated by China.

Jacques was curious why King Zwelithini had mentioned the Fujian Province in many of his speeches and initiatives. He remembered from his earlier research that a report that he had once read, on the illegal influx of Chinese immigrants to South Africa, had mysteriously disappeared from the internet. So he went in search of that report. He felt that missing document may explain a whole bunch of things.

Despite scouring the net for several hours again - it definitely was not there.

A day later, on looking up some other topic on his own computer, he found that he had in fact made a copy of the controversial report.

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It appeared that the report had in fact been withdrawn from the site but Jacques included it in his research because many South African’s were seeing new Chinese retail outlets springing up in their neighbourhoods without explanation.

Sunday, November 4, 2012 CHINESE FLOODING SOUTH AFRICA

Hannes Engelbrecht

The new colonials have arrived.

Without as much as a whisper the South African government allowed at least 400,000 Chinese to swamp the country during the past six years. Chinese migrants, mainly from the overpopulated Fujian province in China, have been shipped off to South Africa at an alarming rate.

Spreading all over the country.....

Even in the remotest parts, between 6,000 and 12,000 Chinese shops sprang up – indicating that the phenomenon is well-orchestrated by both China and South Africa.

Prof Colin McCarthy, retired from the University of Stellenbosch, first noted the Chinese colonization. Says Prof McCarthy: ‘All the evidence indicates that the project to set up such an extensive network of Chinese shops, all following the same pattern and targeting the same market, was well researched, well planned, well organized and well financed’.

The young, unemployed couples from Fujian province settled into the network – pushing up cheap Chinese plastics, products and clothing into a

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS lucrative retail chain far bigger than Pick n Pay, Pep Stores or Edgars. And to make matters worse: most of the Chinese shops are not registered and do not pay any taxes in South Africa; not even import or export duties – in fact, China put its clothing exports to South Africa to R11,3 billion in 2010; while South Africa’s failing statistics put the Chinese clothing imports at only R6,7 billion! It means that in one single year R4,6 billion worth of Chinese clothing entered South Africa illegally.

A South African Revenue Services employee spilled the beans on a small Chinese shop in a rural area where, when raided by SARS, R1,2 million was found under the counter.

Janet Wilhelm of the HSRC observes: ‘It is amazing how so many people can enter a country seemingly unnoticed!’ She quotes the SAPS Aliens Investigation Unit as saying ‘many Chinese travel to South Africa via Mbabane, Maputo and Maseru from where they enter South Africa with false identity documents by road’.

Patrick Chong, chairman of the Chinese Association of South Africa, says: ‘Many would enter on tourist or student visas then simply stay’.

Researchers of Noseweek followed the Chen family where one pioneer settled illegally in South Africa, spreading within four years to 172 members of the family scattered across Lesotho trading Chinese products.

What is even more mind-boggling and sinister is that the South African ANC government officially proclaimed Chinese as ‘honorary blacks’, making

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS them exempt from affirmative action, quotas and Black Economic Empowerment.

The whole Chinese experiment has been carefully planned, criminally enhanced, and no doubt… vast sums of money are involved, lining the pockets of very influential South African politicians.

It is ironic that while populists like Malema and Shivangu walk about claiming land and minerals for the South African people, the ANC government has allowed at least 400 000 additional Indians and Pakistanis, at least 400,000 Chinese and at least 10 million illegals from Zimbabwe, Nigeria, Mozambique, Angola and now also Zambia into the country

********************

Martin Welz, the editor of Noseweek, had published the above cover story on the phenomenon of Chinese shopkeepers in South Africa. It's a humid conspiracy theory wrapped in the guise of journalism, and when it isn't racist and xenophobic, its plain wrong. Journalists Kevin Bloom and Richard Poplak took issue with its loose facts and downright dangerous perpetuation of stereotypes.

Poplak and Bloom concluded ‘Of course, Prof MacCarthy, you are not a ‘conspiracist’. How could you be? Even if the article in which you’re quoted implies that there is a conspiracy afoot. Because without saying outright what that conspiracy might be—Noseweek seems to believe that its fans are sly enough to know how to read between the lines, having lived in a Banana Republic since 1994 and all—the best we can make out is that Beijing and

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

Pretoria are in collusion, with Pretoria turning a blind eye towards illegal Chinese immigrants and shopkeepers who aren’t registered with SARS, so that the bilateral relationship can continue apace.

From these divergent views Jacques rationalized that the offensive original article related to Chinese traders taking over shopping centres such as the one in Edenvale in Gauteng and other centres around the country and was confined to the retail space in South Africa.

Jacques’s own conspiracy theory differed as it related to the Chinese infrastructural, mineral resource and agribusiness spends in Africa, all of which were a factual reality. At the centre of this new development is the thorny issue of ownership or not of sovereign soil by foreigners.

The real questions that remain are why are there so many new Chinese visible and how did they get here? Jacques speculated ‘was this why Zuma was planning a Home Affairs for Zumaville. Was this to legitimize an influx of Chinese through the illegal immigration corridor from neighbouring Lesotho, Swaziland and Mozambique?

The theory of Zululand, including the palaces at Ulundi and Nkandla, becoming part of a Chinese Canton was becoming a more believable possibility with few definitive rebuttals.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

Meanwhile the Executive of the African National Congress continued to drag their heels in nominating their seven appointees to attend the ad hoc Parliamentary committee meeting called by Max Sisulu. As the May 7, 2014 deadline for polling loomed, Mazibuko reform the Democratic Alliance requested an extension to May 5, 2014 in an effort to get Zuma’s full response to the Madonsela Report findings prior to the election.

Finally on April 29, 2014 the South African population witnessed the inevitable demise of the democratic effort to hold Zuma accountable as reported by Rebecca Davis:

‘It’s official: nothing of any value will come out of the Parliamentary committee set up to consider the President’s response to the Public Protector’s report on upgrades to Nkandla before the elections. That dream, always faint, is now dead, seen to by an ANC majority on the committee. They insist that the committee can still be re-constituted after the elections, but we’re not holding our breath. Let’s all just take comfort that we’re not living in a democracy where people who question the President end up in body-bags – as one ANC MP on the committee reminded us. Comforting?’

Even if elected Zuma could nevertheless still be faced with impeachment and criminal prosecution when the fifth session of Parliament convenes. If so,

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS would these charges be immorally spirited away, just as the previous seven hundred charges against him before the last election, simply went away?

Meanwhile, beleaguered Public Works Minister Thembelani Nxesi has suffered another setback after he was ordered to provide the Mail & Guardian Centre for Investigative Journalism with a full set of Nkandla documents

The Fourth Pillar reported: ‘Judge Vuyelwa Tlhapi has given Public Works Minister Thulas Nxesi 28 days to deliver full disclosure on President Jacob Zuma's Nkandla residence.

That’s how long Public Works Minister Thulas Nxesi has to deliver full disclosure on how ministers and top officials went about spending nearly R250- million on President Jacob Zuma’s private residence.

On Tuesday, Judge Vuyelwa Tlhapi ordered Nxesi and the department to disclose crucial Nkandla documents thus far kept hidden from public view.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

The judgment flows from a Promotion of Access to Information Act application launched by amaBhungane in July 2012.

At that stage, public works issued a blanket refusal, claiming that the whole project was so sensitive; nothing at all could be disclosed.

In June 2013, on the proverbial steps of the courthouse, the department capitulated and offered to release about 12 000 pages in 42 files.

That disclosure formed the core of amaBhungane’s award-winning reporting on Nkandla, and also proved decisive when the security cluster sought to veto the release of public protector Thuli Madonsela’s draft report.

Madonsela was able to point to the 12 000 pages already in the public domain, which disposed of the state’s claims to a secrecy prerogative.

However, what was clear from the documents was that they were drawn exclusively from the files of the Durban regional office.

There appeared to be no material included from head office in Pretoria, save for copies of things that might have been shared with the Durban office.

Especially tantalizing were references to regular meetings between President Zuma and his architect, as well as numerous Zuma meetings with ministers or deputy ministers, all of which one might expect to be minute or recorded in some way.

Level of involvement it is these documents that might reveal just how much the president was consulted or gave instructions about the extent and cost of the so-called ‘security upgrade’.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

This void formed the crux of amaBhungane’s high court application in November last year, arguing that Nxesi had not made full disclosure.

Lawyers for public works were forced to concede that there was no disclosure from head office and that no search was ever conducted in Pretoria for any relevant documents.

The department has tried to argue that there had been sufficient disclosure. Despite not looking, it also tried to suggest that such documents did not exist.

Judge Tlhapi would have none of that. In an important passage of her judgment, she noted: ‘The possibility of … no records being kept pertaining to top management decisions, especially those records like in this matter that have … financial implications … is a serious indictment ...’

‘The judge said keeping proper records was one of the most important obligations of a government’.

She decried as a dereliction any suggestion of a failure to keep records or a tendency to lose documents, or to hide them or deal with government business under a cloud of secrecy where it is not justified.

Judge Tlhapi gave the department 30 court days to make further disclosure, including documents filed by the Pretoria head office, and ordered director general Mziwonke Dlabantu to produce an affidavit accounting for all the documents the department claimed could not be traced or did not exist.

Past conduct, however, suggests the dilly-dallying may not be over’.

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

‘On election day Zuma will cast his ballot at Nkandla at a school across the valley from his home. The cameras which will be on hand to capture the moment will no doubt pan across to his homestead. There is simply no escape from Nkandla. It will be there for years to come, and long after Zuma’s retirement, as a constant reminder of rot and corruption, and how to escape the consequences’ – Pierre de Vos

Jacques closed the lid of his computer and sighed. He felt helpless. He remembered the overwhelming euphoria at the overthrow of the last Apartheid government. He remembered the tear jerking emotion of Madiba and Francois Pienaar holding aloft the Rugby World Cup. South Africa had promised so much then as the world welcomed the country back into the International Fraternity. South Africa’s forty five odd years of abhorrent Apartheid rule were forgotten. After twenty years of democracy the country was sadly now at the mercy

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS of African Kleptocrats and Chinese Colonialists. Paradise Lost.

It was Sunday and Jacques was delighted with how he had managed to pull his life together. He could not remember ever being happier. As he hurried to meet Linda for the Sunday Buffet at the Heavenly Bills, a memory of her impish shy smile, her tangled straw blonde hair, her slim body and delicate hands all flashed through his mind. He thought of the incredible companionship, love and fun she had brought into his life and how that love and security had motivated him, encouraged him and revitalised him. Her many dittos told him that she felt the same and he could tell that she was very happy, relaxed, contented and over her previous heartbreak. He choked back the warm emotion and offered a silent thanks to his maker as he sped down Ambush Alley this Sunday. He remembered her infectious giggle, her flashing green eyes, her whisperings as they made love and her warmth when they woke each morning. He loved her work ethic and her quick mind and how she had helped him regain his lust for life. His step quickened at the thought of her waiting for him at the Heavenly Bills. As Jacques crossed the palm lined boulevard and rounded the still closed Argentina Steaks Restaurant, he slowed to allow a tough looking Chinese character, coming up the other way, to pass him on the narrow pavement. So pre-occupied was Jacques with the warm thoughts racing through his mind that he barely heard the stranger murmur ‘Jacques’ as they passed each other. Unsure, Jacques turned slowly, raised an eyebrow, faced the stranger and said

……………sunny place for shady people UMHLANGA ROCKS

politely ‘Yes, sir do I know you?’

‘Sorrow is better than fear. Fear is a journey, a terrible journey, but sorrow is at least an arrival. When the storm threatens, a man is afraid for his house. But when the house is destroyed, there is something to do. About a storm he can do nothing, but he can rebuild a house’.

- Alan Paton: ‘Cry, the Beloved Country’

……………sunny place for shady people This book was distributed courtesy of:

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