University of Michigan Law School University of Michigan Law School Scholarship Repository

Res Gestae Law School History and Publications

1982 Vol. 30, No. 21, April 7, 1982 University of Michigan Law School

Follow this and additional works at: http://repository.law.umich.edu/res_gestae Part of the Legal Education Commons

Recommended Citation University of Michigan Law School, "Vol. 30, No. 21, April 7, 1982" (1982). Res Gestae. Paper 442. http://repository.law.umich.edu/res_gestae/442

This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Law School History and Publications at University of Michigan Law School Scholarship Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in Res Gestae by an authorized administrator of University of Michigan Law School Scholarship Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected]. The Barristers: Do they do anything

by Peter Jackson of high-quality chemicals. Considering the plight of students at They receive no funding from the more than drink? an all-male Jaw school in the winter of school and have operated without for- . , . . 1904, drinking clubs made a lot of sense. mal recognition since 1938 when a Soc1ety dress up otherwiSe bormg law recent survey of several secret clubs The Barrister's Society was fQunded Reading Room initiation ceremony~ school yearbooks of the past. brought an egalitarian outcry from the in that year and despite Prohibition and out of hand. That incident also resul a THE BA RRIS!E R~ ?ave persevered student newspaper, the Harvard Law frequent run-ins with the ad­ in a one-year suspension of t /!Jt.cau~e o~ the1r ab1hty to adapt to Record. According to Professor Joe ministration, they are still drinking. Barristers from the law school. chaOO il)~tmes and trends. They a ban- Vining, a member of the secret " Pow The Barristers publish the Row The Society outlasted several Iate.n _ d?"'41J' ~~trageous string ties and Wow" club as a Harvard student, some Review, a satire magazine, and sponsor organizations formed with saffiVJR p10~ w flt(J(Jv~~ them thro~gh the of the g~oups are more than a century the annual Crease Ball. Beyond that, general purpose. Picture "Jar iflt1es. Their~l mbers now ~nclude old and others began as case clubs in a they are dedicated to a solitary goal, but now defunct outfits e over .il>.ywnen. e drug menu 1s more time when students formed their own the regular ingestion of large amounts "Toastmasters" a nd the ui ty )}1!versP.<'But two things haven't writing and advocacy classes. JCCha ed : they party regularly and At Michigan, the "Ki ng's Bench" is yo ·nvited. apparently the only club in addition to Obese Chance sixties, one response to the Barristers. It consists of about ten this exc · ity was the formation of members who meet in the Lawyer's alternatives~ike the "Equity Society." Club on Thursday nights to drink bran­ This group's history is as foggy as the dy and smoke cigars. Meetings begin Barristers,' but evidently the member­ with a group effort to recreate the mood ship refused to be identified or to be of the nineteenth century and end with a photographed from the front. Professor toast to the status quo. Ted St. Antoine, a 1954 Barrister, OTHERWISE, the Barristers are the claims the society offered only a group only purely social club at the school. moon for one yearbook portrait. The Student response to their presence is late sixties and " the continuing merger outwardly neutral. In fact, many of law and equity in the American cour­ students appreciate their displays of ts" apparently brought their downfall. irreverence, which include kazoo The response to exclusive law school parades through the libraries. social clubs bas been somewhat dif­ Those who would like to belong and t stat ferent in the eighties. At Harvard, a - See BARRISTERS, page two Vol. 30, No. 21 The University of Michigan Law School April?, 1981 Senate Irked by Late First-year Changes by Joe llardig The fact that the students were never A dismayed LSSS voted unanimously notified of the unexpected change in to authorize first year representative next year's schedules incensed the Steve Cassin to investigate the facts LSSS and caused representative Julie which led law school administrators to Hurwitz to remark, "This is typical for unilaterally alter the first year the faculty to exclude students from curriculum. decisions that have a substantial im­ The Curriculum Committee pact on them." Proposal, drafted by Professor Ed The LSSS voted to investigate the One or the last available pictures of the " Equity Society." Society member Cooper and subsequently approved by a scheduling change decision, then to are shown drinking at past law students• favorite watering hole. Fraser's faculty majority, added Constitutional draft a letter of dissatisfaction. Pub. Law as a first year course while simultaneously requiring one other fir­ st year course to be taught in small sec­ tions of about twenty students. Ad­ Seminar Selections Stay Sparse ministrators voted to take two years to by Jere Eisenberg dividual faculty members rather than fered. "We have to consider that there implement the changes because ad­ Despite student grumbling over the with the committee itself. are limits on both faculty interest and ditional professors would have to be paucity of new seminars in next year's " If (students) want a new seminar faculty numbers," Cooper added, ex­ hired to accommodate the small sec­ curriculum, the faculty bas no im­ they should find a faculty member plaining that the current policy insures tions. mediate plans to upgrade the selection who's interested in teaching it," Cooper that in almost every case, when a The recently released course next year. said. "The curriculum committee is not seminar is offered, the professor worksheet schedules reveal, however, Associate Dean Edward Cooper, who going to sit around designing them and teaching it will have a keen interest in the addition of four credits of Con­ heads the Curriculum Committee then telling a professor to teach the subject matter. stitutional Law to the winter term and which reviews applications for new something." While the Curriculum Committee is the reduction of Civil Procedure from seminars, noted that "The Committee Cooper added that student complain­ responsible for approving any new five to four credit hours. Thus the class has not seen an application for a new of­ ts over the seminar offerings are heard seminars that are proposed by faculty, of 1985 faces an increased workload fering all year." Cooper explained that almost every year, but noted that the the actual scheduling of all classes is without the benefit of a corresponding the initial impetus behind developing existing faculty is necessarily limited done by Deans Sandalow and Eklund. smaiJ section course. new ideas for seminars rests with in- as to how many seminars· can be of- ee SEMINARS. page two

To the Editor: students are far from ambivalent. The Black Law Students Alliance (B.L.S.A.) must Second, the article glibly mentions that a BLSA Letter Rips express its displeasure with the March 17, Res minority student has not served on the Michigan Gestae article, " Review Nixes Affirmative Action." Law Review in 17 years, but fails to mention that The article was unobjective, inaccurate, and during this time a minority student declined an in­ R.G. on Coverage generally patronizing. ln addition, some of the in­ vitation to serve on the Review. The Res Ge tae was dividuals quoted have asserted that their statemen­ aware of this fact and chose to omit the information. ts were taken out of context and were not fuJly The article lends credence to the misguided notion of Action Plans reflective of their discussions with the reporter. that the presence or absence of Jaw review status First, the article states, "minority reaction to the measures intellectual capacity and professional idea of an affirmative action plan on the Michigan potential. Law Review seems ambivalent at best." The author Thejollowinx letter came to the R.G.jrom the Black law Third, the characterization of Amalya Kearse and admittedly based this conclusion on a sample of 3 of Harry Edwards as having " lefl a legacy that has Students Alltam·e m rl'5ponse to the R.G. 's earlier article the 95 Michigan minority law students. To draw a gone unmatched by any minority in the 17 years regarding the obwmce of an affirmative action plan on the blanket conclusion from such a small sample bor­ Michigan Low Ri!VII!W. since," is condescending and belittling The legacy ders on irresponsible journalism. Had the author which Amalya Kearse and Harry Edwards are a taken the time to poll a representative sample, he part of began in 1870 when the first black person would have discovered the feelings of B.L.S.A. ee BLSA, page two Res Gestae- April7, 1982- page 2 The Barristers Can They Claim Any Redeeming ''Social'' Value? from page one Jimmy Gooding, Lord High Chan- goo d t1me,' b u t cer tam · Barns · t er ac- can't may feel slighted, but none of the cellor of the Barristers, cannot under- tivities leave the Society open to students we spoke to mentioned this stand how anyone would be offended. criticism characteristic of closed and specifically. Several did note that they "There is nothing secret about us, ex- exclusive organizations. feel bad " vibrations" when the cept for the initials at the bottom of our By satirizing Iranians in the 1981 Barristers are mentioned. Few studen­ bulletins." (The initials B.O.L.H.C.- initiation ceremony and gays in the 1981 ts claim to be offended or disturbed by stand for "By Order of the Lord High Raw Review, the Society went beyond the the idea of a club like the Barristers Chancellor"). "There's probably typically law-school related targets and .within their school. nothing good about us but there's evinced a certain degree of closed- nothing bad either. We're exclusive mindedness. because of space considerations for For at least two students, last year's Some Seminars parties, but we represent a broader satire turned to hostility when the Raw cross-section of the students here than Review devoted a third of a page to the Remain Open any other organization in the law direct criticism. by name, of one school." student's dress and speech, concluding from page one with a reference to his girlfriend as a Eklund felt that the seminar list offered One Barrister considers critics "little dog." students a reasonable variety of subjec­ merely envious. The views of those who Dan Molhoek, 1967 Lord Chancellor of For most, however. the Barristers' ts from which to choose. the Barristers, replete with string tie. · influence at the law school appears Eklund stressed that many seminars declined either membership or welcome. The Raw Review and the kazoo have not yet filled up, and that students nomination offers, however, do not ap­ pear to support that theory. parades bring humor to an often can still get into these classes by Gooding suspects that open elections Some, like Leslie GaUmeyer, call the would only "increase the disappoin­ humorless institution. Given its signing up for them when they register club's activities silly and childish. tment of unsuccessful candidates." history, the Society may still be able to for their regular classes. She alsonoted Timothy Hester's objection is also per­ SATIRE is the principal vehicle for assert decades from now, as it does in that there is no limit on the total num­ the latest Raw Review, that " When all is ber of seminars that a student can take. sonal. "The idea behind the Barrister's Society expressions like the Raw Review is incongruous with my view of the pur­ and initiation ceremonies, and both said and done, the Barristers have When asked if she knew of any new neither said nor done very much. But seminar ideas in the works, Eklund pose or-law school," he said without carry the risk of offending those elaboration. we prefer it that way." mentioned that a seminar in Indian law satirized. The object may be to h av~> ~ is a possibility, but that so far, there are Karen Strandholm is more open with her criticism, which focuses on com­ no concrete plans to include it in the petition and the elitism inherent in ex­ schedule. BLSA Letter: R. G. Story As an aside, Eklund noted that clusive organizations. "We competed to enrollment in the Clinical programs for get . into this school, we compete for next year is very heavy. There were grades; why should anyone have to was Patronizing rrompageone almost twice as many applications for compete to get into a drinking club ? spots in the general clinic program as Besides, the image of lawyers' as a class graduated from this law school. Since qualified than blacks who choose to at­ there were spaces available. As a is not helped by their membership in then black alumni, including but not tend law school on the east or west result, 13 applicants for summer term exclusive organizations and it seems limited to, Amalya Kearse and Harry coast. If black students at coastal law clinic, and 25 for fall term will have to like a.n easy step from an exclusive law Edwards, have distingu!shed them­ schools were demonstrably better be bumped onto waiting lists. Applican­ school social club to an exclusive coun­ selves in all aspects of the legal qualified than black students attending ts for the child advocacy clinic will fare try club." profession. Unfortunately, the accom­ Michigan, those students would be ser­ better, and there may be no need for a plishments of other black Michigan ving on their respective law reviews. waiting list for that class. Nonetheless. ELECTIONS are held annually. In­ graduates are too numerous to list here. Thus, there would be no need to in­ few if any spots for child advocacy / dividual members nominate second In addition, we take exception to stitute or consider a program, such as remain unfilled. year students they would li ke to party Professor Sallyanne Payton's Harvard's, to increase minority with and those receiving the requisite suggestion that there is an absence of representation on law reviews. The ab­ number of votes are offered member­ minority students on the Michigan Law sence of black and other minority ship. Gooding refused to say what the Review "because black students with students on law reviews is a dilemma required number of votes is. This the highest credentials generally touching law schools coast to coast and procedure is the most common target of cluster on the two coasts and do not is simply symbolic of the problems still those few critics who speak openly come to Michiga'1." facing our society and profession. Action SportsWear about the club. Two Barristers told the R.G. that they would like to see First, any disincentive causing The issue of an alternative method a nomination procedure allowing anyone " black students with the highest for law review selection is currently FACt:ORY interested to apply. credentials" to forego a Michigan legal receiving national attention and deser­ CLOSEOUTS Tom Lotterman is another student education applies to ali segments of the ves more thoughtful consideration. Any who declined an offer to join the law school community. Thus, the future discussion should explore what Swim wear Barristers for " purely personal'' logical extension of Professor Payton's the article failed to address-the I reasons, but he believes that " there is positive aspects of a selection process Footwear suggestion is that faculty and white I no reason why the election procedures students "with the highest credentials" designed to increase minority Bodywear should not be open." also "cluster on the two coasts and do representation on the law review. Pressuring the Barristers to establish not come to Michigan." We are well aware this issue is a sen­ 663·6771 such procedures, one member says, is sitive one, striking at the intellectual 406 E. Liberty not warranted in view of the ultimately Second, we do not appreciate the im­ and psychological underpinnings of the 2 blocks off State St inconsequential impact the Society has plication that black students who law school's hierarchy. However, we do on_ the law school or its students. choose to come to Michigan are any less not believe it should be cursorily raised and dismissed. The Black Law Students Alliance invites all interested law review members, faculty and students to engage in an open forum on the merits of any method to diversify the composition of the Michigan Law INC. Review. R€GENC.YTRAV€L The Black Law Students Alliance STUDENTS FACULTY STAFF Individuals or Groups t Domestic.or lnterr10tionol MAJOR CREDIT CARDS HONORED gold bond "we con arrange ;ob i nterview flight for you" et)f JA H LW{_S HOTELS • CAR RENTALS • CRUISES • down garments • lutt.. cfunir~~ • CALL ~ ~isfyjng Your Full Travel Needs with Friendly Pers·onolized Service" . w•terproofin!J • ffee mi~ repeirs • Convtnient Locotion: 601 E. Willa• .665-6122 332 maynard (CORNER E. WILLIAM' MAYNAitD) ANN ARIIOR' at the"tower plaza 668· 6335

~ ... .. ' ...' ...... Res Gestae- April 7, 1982- page 3 Notices

I NT E R NAT I ONAL LAW TilE JOHN MARSHALL LAW NATIONAL LAWYERS LAW SCHO"OL STUDENT SENATE SOCIETY-Justice Ole Due (Da nish SCHOOL, Chicago, is the sponsor of the GU ILD- Discover the his tory of elections will be held next Thursday to justice on the European Court of Jus­ Firs t Annual Benton National Moot Detroit's labor struggles on Saturday, elect a President, Vice-President, tice) will be speaking on The Function Court Competition in Information Law April 17, through a tour conducted by Secretary, and Treasurer; two Second­ of the European Court in Times of and Privacy. The competition is made Labor Routes in conjunction with the year and two Third-year Represen­ Crisis, on Monday, April 12, in the possible by a $10,000 grant to the Law National Lawyers Guild. This labor tatives; and one student to a two-year Lawyers' Club Lounge at 6:45 p.m. All School from The Benton Foundation, a history tour includes a slide s how term on the Lawyers Club Board of interested persons are also invited to District of Columbia based private presentation, a bus tour to the sites of Governors. have sherry and dinner with Justice foundation committed to unders tanding labor struggles in westside Detroit, as Due, beginning at 5:30 in the Facul ty and improving the broad field of com­ well as a viewing and presentation of Petitions are available now in an en­ Dining Room. See the sign-up sheet on munications. Connecticut Senator the Diego Rivera murals at the Detroit velope outside the Senate office on the ILS board. William Benton was benefactor of the Institute of Arts. The cost of the tour is second noor Hutchins. Petitions for foundation which has the goal of $7 for students and unemployed per­ nomination must be returnt!d to the "examini ng and enhancing the process sons, and $8 for all others. This price Senate office by 5:00 p.m. Fr;t.ay. Can­ DID YOU LEAVE AN YTHING IM­ by which information is exchanged, as didate statements should be submitted P ORTANT IN THE " FACULTY does not include transportation from well as the content and quality of what by noon Friday to the Res Gestae offi ce LIBRARY " (350 HUTCHINS ) Ann Arbor to Detroit. However, car is communicated." pools will be arranged. Rides will leave at the west end of the Reading Room . ' BEFORE SPRING BREAK? Some of Forty law schools from around the Ann Arbor at 9:00 A.M. on April 17th. the papers, non-library books, and An information sheet detailing elec­ nation will be eligible to compete for other miscellany left in Room 350 Hut­ Reservations for tion rules and procedures is attached to $3,000 in cash scholarships. The case chins when the demolition of the stacks the tour must be made by Monday, each petition. Any questions may be problem will focus on media regulation and carrels there began have been April 12. Call 763-2300 or 761-8178 to directed to Elections Chairman Kirk of cable television as it relates to gathered and stored in Mrs. Slote's of­ make reservations or for more infor­ Messmer at his Senate office mailbox, privacy rights. fice. She will keep them on hand until mation. or by telephone al663-n62. The competition will be held October April 16, at which time they will go the 21, 22 and 23 at the campus of T.he John way of the stacks and carrels. If you Marshall Law School in downtown BLACK LAW STUDENTS ALLIA:"i­ want to recoup anything you think you Chicago and the adjacent Dirksen CE-The fourth Annual Alden "Butch" AU DIO-VISUAL JOB FOR UMMER. left there, see her before Aprill6. Federal Court Building Carpenter Scholarship Fund Dinner The Law School will need someone to Participation is limited to the first will be held on April 16 at the Campus co-ordinate requests for audio-visual forty law schools to register. Inn. Dr. Robert Green, Dean n:' Urban presentations and taping during Sum­ LAW SCHOOL HO~ORS CON­ Registration deadline is April 16. For Affairs at Michigan State Ur versity, mer Session. Work will be somewhat VOCATIONwill take place Saturday, registration information contact: will be the keynote speaker. All faculty, sporadic but would average about 8 hrs. Aprill7 at 2 p.m. in Hale Auditorium at Professor Ralph Ruebner, Benton Moot alumni, students and friends are in­ a week. Law student with some a-v ex­ the Business School Leonard Wood­ Court Advisor, The John Marshall Law vited to attend. For tickets or additional perience would be well suited to job. If cock will be the featured speaker. All School, 315 S. Plymouth Court, Chicago, mformation. contact Karen Jackson at interested, contact Henrietta Slote, 316 students are welcome to attend. II. 60604, (312> 427-2737. 996-2861. Hutchins (3-1030) News break Revue Preview : Talent on Trial ANN ARBOR'S Ed. Note: We asked the producers of the Law • Doug (cut the clinic) Kahn: " I U.S. 445 (referring to the Law Revue LONGEST Revue show to write a funny article about the demand that the financial worth of the show). Law Revue show robe held April 10, 1982 at show be reviewed.'' • Sue (do you need a shoulder to cry 8 pm in the lawyers club lounge. thiS is the • Ronnie Klein (Reading room but­ on) Ecklund "Do you know if they will tWJ~Y unfortunate result. terny> " I'm only coming to the show be serving pickles and ice cream at the because the producers promised me April 10- a day that has been marked show?" HOUR that Charley's is going to be closed on • David (son of) Sandalow: " I'd in history as synonymous with disaster : - --·--- the lOth ." The sinking of the Titanic; The plague rather go to the show than to another OLDEST PJ.ZZ£RIA night of Bingo with my Dad and the hits Europe; The R.G. publishes its fir­ • Potter (carrel No. 3-57) Stewart " I - --·- -- st issue ; William Rehnquist appointed know pornography when I see it" 356 Shriners." Finest Pasta Dishes to the Supreme Court; The Law School Open lor lunch talent Show. Dinners unlll 1:00 A.M. The people who are running the show R.G. Closing Shop hit the Law School campus to solicit the a verage member of the school's com­ Next week's edition of the Res Gestae will be our last of the Cottage munity views on the show. Here are year. The Daily, which does our typesetting, is closing for the some of the responses. • semester and besides, we're tired and cranky. • Doug EHmann Cthe Richard Daly of At anv · rate. any budding journalists or angry readers INN the Law school>: "If we could charge 0 admission for this the Senate would not wishi ng to see their work on these pages get on the stick. have to raise the fee next year." Our final dea dline is this Saturday at 2 p.m., except for LSSS ~d S~ • Don Dripps (New leader of the sub- Candidate statements, which are due on Friday at noon. ~~\.e• FORil/~~ 3 cave dwellers > "Are you sure Law By the way, we are still eager to hear from any of you foolish Revue is spelled that way? I think I'll i $2.65 t send John Frank to check the Blue book enough to consider joining the R.G. staff next year . Stop by :;, . ... on that." room 311 off the Reading Room , or call us a t 764-9408. SANDWICHES • Nancy Krieger (agent for the Wall ---·--- Street firms> " People who make Law PIZZA Revue seem to get the glamour jobs." • The Coop

The University ofM ichigan Law School ~-----O_Qini on JeH Blake Jeff Eisenberg Letters Editor Managing Editor Colleen Hanlon Judah Garber Jim Loots J oe Hardig Affirm. Action No Stigma Opinion News To the Editor: Peter Jack.son Dave Rubenstein And now we come to the "stigma" argument plausible reason. For too many, whi te pride is Arts Graphics · It goes something like this : if it became known insulted when whites are bypassed for minorities that the Law Review had expanded its notion of in the race for rewards, expecially when whites Rick Olshansky "merit" to include criteria other than grade are bypassed because they have dominated the Sports Sid Wiener people who have moved ahead of them. Advertising point average, such as perspective, minority review members who were selected or who could If the programs are successful in achieving Barb Zahs Barry Rudofsky have been selected solely on the basis of grades diversification, these people would argue that Copy Business Manager will be victimized. It wilJ be assumed that they minorities have enough. That they are becoming addicted to handouts. That since these programs The Res Ocsla< i< publish«! <•g lh< rst repugnant about this type of • Jhe creation this year of a Student Advisor's those minorities who would have been selected person is that often his achievements have been for review solely on the basis of grades when the made possible, in part, because of the conscious Office should also be applauded. It was a good fact that there are virtually no minorities on efforts of influential whites who had their con­ idea, and has worked fairly well in providing Review is one of the impetus for the program. sciousness levels raised by similar programs in students with not only information about courses If one finds this explanation for white concern other fields, in the fifties, sixties, and seventies. and the like, but also to provide a willing ear for a little far-fetched, perhaps there is a more - Adrien Silas students to vent frustrations. With more publicity and a more centrally located office, it could be even more helpful. Reviewer Refutes Label • Kudos to whoever thought up the idea of con­ verting the old Faculty Meeting Room into a new To the Editor: should be taken at least three weeks before every student lounge. Double kudos to J .J . White, and I deeply resent the implication in your April 1 exam. Joe Vining, who have proposed that beer and issue that members of the Review staff are "ner­ I demand an apology! wine be served in the lounge. Still, we'll believe it ds." My own knowledge and experience should when we see it fl owing out of the tap. - certainly help dispel this unfounded myth. I per­ Stuart Cohen sonally have known several individuals who • A hearty hoorah to Lawrence, the janitor have gone out on dates. Roommates of mine Ed. Note: Sorry Stu. with the beard who, each and every time he have gotten drunk (and just to let you know how comes up to the office to clean up for us, offers tough some staffers are, I didn't get sick or everyone a choice of at least four varieties of hung over). My athletic endeavors are quite diverse. I have read cases involving basseball, chewing gum. - football, hockey and sex. I may not know what • Our heartfelt appreciation goes out to .the hemisphere El Salvador is in, but I do know that noisy but immaculately dressed, svelt-physiqued it's the second largest city in Mexico. undergrads who have completely taken over the Famous law school personalities such as Big Letters reading room . You people are obnoxious, but you AI Levine, and influential Tom Lotterman have make every trip up to the R.G. offices a little said he!Jo to me. On more than one occasion I've gone for over forty minutes without speaking, Policy more visually exciting. thinking or dreaming about the law. I admit I • Lastly, thanks to our predecessors at the work hard in my courses, but I'm not what you The Res Gestae welcomes comment from our R.G. who spent a lot of uncompensated and often would call a grind. For example, in contracts I readers. To be printed, articles must be signed, skipped reading the First Restatement, forcing unappreciated hours putting out this paper. This although requests for anonymity will be con­ me to rely entirely on the Second, and I didn't sidered. We reserve the right to edit for length may be our way of saying that we'll deserve even look at volume five of Corbin. One time last these remarks next year, but so be it. Thanks and clarity. Submissions should be double­ semester I even goofed off so much that I was space typed, and may be dropped off in the Drop guys. unprepared for class (I was lucky and didn 't get Box on the door of the R.G. office at Room 311 Keep the fait.t1, folks. You may be behind in all called on). Legal Research Bldg. (west end of the Reading your classes but you were just as slack last The most unsubstantiated and offensive in­ Room ). The deadline for each Wednesday's issue nuendo in the article related to the grooming and is the preceding Sunday at 6 p.m. semester and came out smelling like a rose hygiene of staff members. I know as well as anyway. anyone that socks and underwear should be . . .·. changed on Wednesdays, and that a shower Res Gestae-April7, 1982- pages Forum LOVE Ann Arbor. It's a nice col­ debilitating aspects of the security of Police to see any records. O.K., that must pay money, wait in exposed lege town. Nice green streets, por­ problem is nobody really knows how made some sense. So, I asked the of­ places, and stay near a phone. Of I the women I interviewed, many l'epor­ ches with swings. It is also a dangerous dangerous A' is. The genesis of this ar­ ficer how dangerous he thinks the town ted s pending extra to ensure their place. I am afraid to walk home alone ticle (besides my growing anger and is. The response, all 20 minutes worth, safety at night. One bought a newer car at night. What I don't know is how frustration) was a conversation with was amazing. First I was told never to frightened I'm supposed to be. Will I four women law students. Four out of trust anybody, then that the officers because the old one, although normaUy adequate, might break down. She also know "it" when I see it? How many five of us had been flashed. One was down at the police station really cared bought a parking space to be near the precautions are too many, verging on alone at night when someone tried to about rape. A lot of them had law school. We buy cars. bikes and paranoia? If you are a man you can break into her apartment; another was daughters. When pressed, the detective e~pensive apartments near Hutchins. take a late walk to clear your mind. So followed. said that Ann Arbor was safer than could I, but, if "anything happened," Even more disturbing, many women I'd probably be called a damn fool , and cut short their research or never come I'd believe it. to the library at all because they are not sure they can get home at night. They The saving grace is that I'm not Living_In Fear miss law school activities. Ironically, alone. Every woman that lives in Ann (fThere ,s no uglier feeling than being afraid of one woman told me she wanted to go to Arbor faces the same situation. Every Rape Prevention classes but couldn't woman Jaw student plays the same other people. When I'm alone at night, every because they were at night and she did games ·to get herself home safely at not have a car. night, balancing the time she needs to shrub, every shadow, every rustle in the wind spend in the library with planning her causes my body to tense up. ,, -First Year Student At a time when we are being taught to way around the darkness. Women law think independently and analytically, students are handicapped. The issue of women, as a group, are forced to security affects our social lives, costs by Elizabeth Y ntema depend on the largess and patience of us extra money, and is an emotional friends, husbands, lovers, and male I set out to get some hard facts. I most towns of its size. I was then told drain. Perhaps most importantly, fear acquaintances in general. Women told called the Women's Crisis Center, the that the major thing is not to panic. He has a deleterious effect on our me of Byzantine schemes: rotating Assault Crisis Center, the Washtenaw cited an example of the danger of the education. between friends to get rides, learning to Dept. o"f Social Services, the press, of publicizing rapes. A woman ask the right people and cruising the One of the most infuriatmg aspects of Washtenaw Community Mental Health said that she had been receiving library with an eye out for someone providing for my own safety is that I Center, and theUniversityof Michigan threatening letters and telephone calls. they know has a car. We don't want to am shadow boxing. I have no idea what Adult Psychiatric Hospital. None of It all turned out to be a hoax of her own beg, but we must become inveterate form danger will present itself in, or them had any statistics at all on the concocting. Now, the officer said, the diplomats, using charm and judgment how I will react. None of us really can number of assaults in Ann Arbor papers would never report that. His of human character to gain transport say, "Now I have done enough, now I I called the Ann Arbor Police Depar­ final admonition was not to trust from one island of safety to another. can relax." tment. A Student Senate member who anybody, not to walk in dark areas and The net result of all of this is anger It's extremely straining to constant­ had also tried to find some data correc­ not to panic. and frustration. Several female law ly be second guessing oneself, thinking tly warned me of what would happen. The student Senate earlier this year students told me they felt like ahead. But, after dark, that is exactly When he called the police it took a explored such problems as the lighting they were prisoners or like they were what women do. They operate with a while to get through, then when he got in the quad and parking lot, and attem­ handicapped. We contend with an perpetual alert system, sometimes un­ in touch with the officer in the Records pted to institute a voluntary walk-home unremitting anxiety and a fair share of conscious, tragically inadequate, but department, he was told there were system which failed because walkers indignity, without knowing exactly always present. Once the sun goes down no statistics for 1981 on the number of and walkees started to not show up. what it is we are protecting ourselves and it is necessary to get from one place rapes in Ann Arbor. The figure he was WLSA, with the Senate, has worked to against. Forced into being the weaker, to another, my early warning system given for 1980 was 21. Both of us found improve lighting, and can give infor­ dependent sex, or at least required automatically kicks in, reading and in­ this number patently absurd, and won­ mation on workshops and other ac­ to constantly second-guess terpreting sounds and movements, for der if it represents the number of con­ tivities such as the Take Back the Night ourselves, we share a common bond an unseen threat I cannot identify, con­ victed rapists, which would explain March on April 16th, sponsored by the that male law students can never really trol or predict. As a friend put it: why there are no figures for 1981. Ar­ Ann Arbor Coalition Against Rape. understand. I would love to be able to "There's no uglier feeling than being med with this knowledge, I got in touch The Senate is also evaluating stay in the library as long as I like, afraid of other people. When I'm with the officer in charge of major Night Ride. This is an experimental wander home in a pleasant reverie, alone at night, every shrub, every crimes. No, he could not give me one-year grant program which open my apartment door without won­ shadow, every rustle in the wind information on how many assaults were provides rides for $1.50 through the dering if someone is in there, lock thP. causes my body to tense up." reported in Ann Arbor. Furthermore. I AATA. door- and go to sleep without a second Should I worry? One of the most would need the permission of the Chief Even with the Night Ride, women thought. Auto ManagementSource of Industry Woes by Jon Kurtzman American car companies use the same treats its workers is what is wrong with Even a proficient worker makes I've been torn about what kind of car system. Production managers are it now. mistakes, but what about the time it I should buy- American or some other. given targets, quality control managers Assembly-line pressure is felt took for the worker to become It hasn't been an easy decision. At are given targets, everyone is given a everywhere, not just on the actual line. proficient? How many mistakes does times, I have felt almost like a traitor, target. The system places too little em- A production manager is a part of a even the best worker make? What hap- like I am betraying Detroit's and phasis on the individual or department chain, several chains really, so that he pens to these cars? They go out in the America's unemployed, like I am Jet- targets ; the line keeps rolling and the or she is just -a link or cog in a larger street. The company can yell, it can ting down my country in a time of need. total number of cars produced is what process to which it is hard to relate. We scream at the worker to do a better job, In the end, I decided to buy a counts, even if they are not good cars. follow a system- the American way of but the truth is that the worker can't do Japanese car. The reason is simple: 1 How can management let this hap- life-which concentrates control in a better, it's management's fault. The feel I must buy the best. I could only pen? The answer is that they never had few hands. The trick is to make the worker functions within the limits arrive at this choice by deciding that to compete eCficiently before. They system more responsive to the parts of prescribed by the top. Change the limits America's auto workers aren't at fault were in a good market with a decent the line. The way to do that is to worry and the worker will function better. for the quality of the cars, that the product. Now they are in a tight market about the quality of the final product. If you, in you r job as a lawyer or problem is almost completely where a decent product is no longer There are two ways to achieve other, sent out mistyped letters, you management's and that I cannot re- enough. They were short-sighted, but quality: an iron hand or a kind hand. would care. You would try to do ward incompet~nt management. they had no reason to be long-sighted. The iron hand once ruled, when something about it. You could yell at In our system, control comes from The Japanese were upstarts who had to machinery was primitive and labor the secretary or you could give that the top. Individual departments, such be innovative to crack the market. The cheap and abusable. That way is now secretary the appropriate time and en- as engineering or safety in a car com- Americans had been on top since the outmoded. For exam~le , an assembly- couragement to do the job, including pany, may perform well, but it is up to beginning. We hadn't grown soft, we line worker may have the job of proofreading, correctly. If you yell at top management to coordinate and to were just too absorbed in what we were screwing in a side mirror. This job is your secretary to get him or her to work establish goals. A department may per- doing to notice or accept that times done while on the back, head under the hard, how likely is it that the secretary form well, but it does so within the were changing. dashboard. It takes four screws and can will wo rk hard on his or her own? limits of its assigned part in the overall I am buying a Japanese car in the be done by a proficient worker in 58 While I am very sorry to be con- system. hope that America will respond and seconds, if done correctly. But what if tributing to the hardship of this coun- The pressures for good and for bad develop a more efficient system. A key that worker drops a screw-he doesn't try's unemployed, something deep in performance come from the top. In to this hope is that a more efficient have a tool which holds the screws me rebels against supporting the studying economics, I learned about the system will be better for the workers, ready for use- what if the mount holes current way. We have been short- inefficiencies of the Soviet quota as well as for the consumers and are drilled slightly off, what if the sighted and inefficient for too long. I system, which places a premium on the management. A more efficient system worker has to fix another obvious cannot now turn my back on the future. amount of total output, with less con- has to be better for the workers, from mistake while doing his or her own job? cern about overall quality and even less the lowest level to highly salaried All this in 58 seconds and don't ever stop Kurtzman is a third-year student and for­ concern about individual quality. The managers, because the way the system the line. mer ArtS Editor of the R.G. Res Gestae- April7, 1982- page 6 Arts Was (not Was) & The Coconuts

Was (not Was), " Was (not Was)." ZE the Brides of Funkenstein, and the Records. 1981; Kid Creole and the Knack. The cast of characters is likely Coconuts, "Off the Coast of Me," 1980 to expand. and " Fresh F ruits in Foreign P laces," Somehow, avante-garde , literate 1981. ZE Records. poetry, hard funk and heavy metal all combine in the studio to create by Casey Rucker snappy tunes and emotional impact. Some people like their pure, but Was (not Was) leavens its alienation I like mine cut with other kinds of music with humor, and transforms disco into and sensibility. Lucky for me that a (dare I say it?) art. David Weiss says, number of bands are coming up with " I take drugs to get in an unpleasant that mix right now, twisting disco into a frame of mind and then try to find a number of novel forms. Was (not Was) catharsis for it." I'll take as many uses a disco beat to create tense, catharses as Was (not Was) can find. disturbing music, while the songs of You'll find nary a catharsis in either 's Kid Creole and the album of Kid Creole and the Coconuts. Coconuts sound like Cole Porter with a Tropical breezes. social comedy, and Latin beat. melodious harmonies are the stuff of In "Wheel Me Out," a 12-inch single their music. The disco beat is laced that was Was (not Was) 's first release, with salsa, reggae, and calypso rhyth­ the strains of an alto sax introduce an ms, though the smoothness of the blend angst-ridden song whose beat is made can trick the ears. Kid Creole and the Stacy Fox inspects the color of a wine at one of litis term's by tape loops and whose lyrics are Coconuts will provide you with humor last wine-tast cla&ses. This term ma) be the last tht> course is offered. repeated non-sequitur throughout. and charm as you dance away the " The sky's ablaze with ladies' night. legs/can't you hear it boy?" goes the August Darnell, a.k.a. Kid Creole, Wine Class Runs Dry refrain of another song, whose recited has been involved with a number of narrative is a young man's recollection bands as composer, performer, and by Sherry Powers sweet while one from the chenin blanc of his alcoholic father. "Tell Me that producer. He has produced albums by, "You enter my class as sober law grape is typically light and fruity. I'm Dreaming" ends with a loop of among other bands, James White and students and leave with minds of mush. Kevin and Bill have considerable President Reagan repeating "out of the Blacks. Darnell's talent has led him I will teach you to drink like lawyers!" backgrounds in wine. Never one to pass control, out of control ... " from a taped through associations with many bands So begins Bill Ellis' description of the up an educational experience, Bill had speech. And "Out Come from the and record companies, but Kid Creole mos t unique class in the law his first lesson in wine-tasting at age Freaks" is the first disco song I've and the Coconuts may bring him the at­ school- Wine Tasting. For a fee of $48, three under the tutel age of Joe Con­ heard about the many people whose tention he deserves. the class offers 8 sessions with the op­ cannon, one of the largest winemakers solitary visits to discotheques and bar s The Coconuts are three female portunity to taste 5 different wines per in Livermore, California. Later, he are their ersatz social lives. All this, vocalists who back up Darnell's lead. session. The wines and vineyards of studied viticulture and enology at the :tnd you can dance to it, too. They may insult his bedroom prowess California, France, Germany and Italy University of California, Davis, the The leaders of the band are Donald <" Mister Softee"), or demand that he are discussed in detail. Taught by Bill only wine school in the U.S. He has Was and David Was Cformerly Fagen­ get them into Studio 54 <" Dario"): Ellis and Kevin Randall, both 3L's, this received the Certificate de Merite from son and Weiss). who grew up in Detroit these are not just employees. One tune is probably the best attended class at the Comite National de Vinde France. under the influence of the MCS and John puts a German song of the Forties to a the Big U. Kevin studies with a Master of Wine (White Panthers) Sinclair of Ann Ar­ disco beat <" Lili Marlene"), and The class offers the chance to learn at the University of Miami in Ohio and bor. Donald has played bass as a studio another gives us tropical love ("Off the not only about the wines sampled, but has taught the course with Bill the past musician around this area for years, Coast of Me"). also what to look for and how to two years. Both are members of the and plays alto saxophone for the band Their second album chronicles Kid decipher wine labels on your own. Society of Wine Educators. as well. Creole's quest in search of his beloved For example, one of the vital pieces Bill and Kevin will graduate this year David, whose college major was Mimi through a number of tropical lan­ of information on a bottle of French and so far no one has stepped forward Greek, is jazz critic for the Los Angeles ds and rhythms. They have presented it Burgundy is the name of the shipper, or to continue their teaching legacy. They Herald Examiner. Marcus Belgrave, almost as theater, and it brings out the negotia nt. Some negotiants, like are willing to provide would-be suc­ who used to play for Ray Charles, is on show-tune quality of Darnell's music. Prosper Beaufaux, have acquired bet­ cessors with a list of handouts and the trumpet, while ex-MC5 guitarist Maybe he'll be the Stephen Sondheim of ter reputations for bottling and aging materials. Unless someone comes for­ Wayne Kramer provides the heavy­ the Eighties. than many wine producers in Burgun­ ward, future generations of law studen­ metal riffs. Other contributors are Disco from sweetness to pain : it's not dy. ts will miss the opportunity to fascinate associated. with Parliament just the Bee Gees and Donna Summer The course also covers grape interviewers with tips from their wine Funkadelic, the 0 ' Jays, the Dramatics, anymore. var ieties. A wine made from the class and impress important clients gewurztraminer grape is spicy and with their enological savoir faire. Calendar DO YOU KNOW WHERE Movie Premiere Music-Dance Victo r Victoria wed 4/7 B-S2's YOUR F'RIENDS ARE? A male Julie Andrews? MSU Auditorium Mann Village4 East Lansing Campus Flicks Radio If it's between 11 :00 a.m. and 2 :00a.m. they're probably at sat 4/ 10 Man Who Ftllto Earth fri 4/ 9 Paul Robeson PIZZA BOB 'S masticating the munchies away, ingesting epicu­ X version, Bouie Rare recordings rean delights, imbibing impossibly delicious potables, ~ubmi ttin g AudA7&9: 1.5 WDET FM (101.9) 7 their taste buds to sa lac.ious assaults of indescribable ecstacy . .Or , in other words, they probably slud on down to P.B.'s to wrap themselves around one of the best tasting meals in A2. Bell's Pizza PIZZII PIZZII two 12 oz. Cokes witb any pizza or BOB'S BOB'S $2.00 off any large pizza must refer to RG. special when ordering offer expires May 1, 1982 ~ UPTOWN 716 Packard at State 995-0232 814 S. STATE ST. 810 S. STATE ST. Free delivery after 11:00 a.m. 665-4517 665-4518 NOW DELIVERING RICH MILKSHAKES Res Gestae- April7,_1982- page 7 Sports D.amn! Yanks Will Take it Again

R.G. Special Assi~nment Reporter Barb another right handed starter to 28 games. But Fingers can't do it all by overlooked is Rick Dempsey, con­ Zohs recently suffered the inconvenience of keep Rich Reuschel company and got himself. sidered by many to be the league's taking on the Til/,er beat in Lakeland, Fla. Doyle Alexander. And so what if south­ Pitching, as usual, promises to be the premier catcher. Dempsey led the Following is her sprinli( rraininli( account of paw starter Ron Guidry can't go the Tigers' weakness, too. Sparky Ander ­ league with a .998 fielding percentage, what lies ahead in the American Leal/,ue: distance any more? Manager Bob son thinks he's found a No. 4 starter in committing just one error while gun­ The Yankees will win the division and Lemon can always open the bullpen and right bander Dave Rozema, who was ning down 16 of 45 baserunners attem­ league lilies, the Brewers will put up a let Goose Gossage (0.77 ERA, 3·2), Ron the Tigers' hottest and most consistent pting to steal. good fight, and as for the Tigers, Davis (4-5, 2.71), or former Mariner pitcher this spring. Rozema spent most Boston is unli kel y to match its strong well, there's always next year. Who Shane Rawley (4-6, 3.97) come out to of last year in long relief (5-5, 3.63). 1981 second-half showing (29-23, 59-49 says baseball is boring? slam the door. Rozema's elevation to the starting overall) because of -you g uessed Don't assume the Yanks have it all But the Yankees will have to keep an rotation leaves another gap in a bullpen it-shaky starting pitching. sewn up. If the 1982 American League eye on Milwaukee, the team which that is already suffering from the tem­ So just where is all of the pitching in East division races promise few sur­ compiled the best overall record <62-47 ) porary loss of Aurelio Lopez (5-2, 3.64) the A.L. East? A lot of it is in Cleveland, prises, there will at least be consistent in the East last year. Milwaukt'e ought who seems to have lost his smoke this of all places. The Indians have three competition in baseball's best-balanced to have the best infield in the spring. Anderson hopes right-hander good starters in Len Barker, who pit­ division. Only Toronto failed to play league-both offensively and defen­ Elias Sosa, <1-2, 3.69) purchased from ched a perfect game last year, Bert better than .500 ball in last year's sively-if Paul Molitor stays healthy the Expos, can give southpaw Blyleven, and former Cardinal Lary strike-marred season. this year. Molitor, who has missed part Kevin Saucier (4-2, 1.65. 13 saves) a Sorensen. In concentrating their errort New York will have to make it of the last two seasons because of in­ band in shor t relief. on the mound, the Tribe has ended up through October this year without the juries, is getting a shot at third base af­ Earl Weaver's last year as Baltimore with a promising pitching staff- and services of Reggie Jackson, but who ter an unsuccessful stint in center field. manager may bring a disappointing little else. cares? With the Yankees' depth, Pitching is a problem spot for the end to a career that has produced six Oh yeah. There's also Toronto. Toron­ there'll be no problem filling his shoes. Brewers, despite the presence of Cy division championships in 12 years. A to's home is called Exhibition Stadium, George Steinbrenner continues to Young Award Winner and League MVP team with three Cy Young Award win­ and rightly so. Very little of the real assemble the best team that money can Rollie Fingers, who posted an ERA of ners shouldn't have a pitching yet to break out of the expansion team problem, but even the Oriole staff has a mold and play the same caliber of few question marks. At 36, Jim Palmer, baseball as their East division counter­ who bad a mediocre HI season with a parts. Well, somebody has to mind the Sports Poll 3.76 ERA, may soon have to start pitch­ ceiJar. ing underwear full-time instead of baseballs. The winner of last week's Sports Poll is John Denniston. Fine job John. You can 1980 Cy Young winner Steve Stone is pick up your coupon at the R.G. office any time now . If you see John Witri you can lame, but that still leaves the Birds with tell him that there's a coupon here for him, too. He probably lost track. Scott McGregor (13-5), Dennis Mar­ This week's Sports Poll celebrates the return of the great American pasttime tinez (14-5), and Flanagan (9-6)-not a by asking you to pick the winners of the following Major League Baseball Games: bad back-up crew. Even if the pitching stays healthy, the Apr il9 April10 Orioles still haven't found a decent San Francisco at Cinn San Francisco at Cinn shortstop to fill the spot vacated by Seattle v. Oakland Seattle at Oakland Mark Belanger. Twenty-one-year-old Detroit at K .C. Detroit at Oakland Cai·Ripken, Jr. is touted as the Orioles' Boston at Baltimore Boston at Baltimore shortstop-of-the-future, but the Birds still need a shortstop-of-the-present. Aprilll The rest of the infield is a manager's San Francisco at Cinn. dream, though. First baseman Eddie Seattle at Oakland Murray led the league with a .999 Detroit at K.C. 'fielding percentage last year, commit­ Boston at Baltimore ting just one error, while second baseman Rich Dauer likewise led his :-Jame position with a .989 mark. Not to be Tie breaker: How many hits will Kirk Gibson amass in the K.C. series? call three games combined) ------Call in your order Bar Special 663-4636 Frosted Pickup 10oz. in 15 Mug . minutes Vahan's Ann Arbor's Finest Pizza Opposite the Oiag at Clothing & Tailoring saa B. State Street

For those who need to dress co~"a ti vely , but don't want to sacrifice style. Come to Vallan's, the tailor who gives you the perf~ t fit. Alterations for Men and Women Mon.-Sat 9:00.to 5:30 Fri. 9:00to8:30 311 East Liberty Ann Arbor, Michigan 48104 Phone 662-7888 Res Gestae-April?, 1982-page 8 Features th edition it's good enough for the first.

• Eliminate the use of footnotes. They Curing Casebook are merely a self-serving device used by professors to cite their own articles and get kickbacks from opthomologists. Nobody reads them anyway. • Judah Garber Elephantiasis • RadicalAppendectomies are prescribed: Appendices usually contain such atavisms as constitutions and statutes, which any modern philosopher The problem of excessive casebook " law" is supported by the fact that no Wading through Prosser are over. I of jurisprudence will tell you, have no size has reached weighty proportions. correlation can be found between the have a few suggestions, which if taken connection with The Law. The legal ap­ Most of you probably think "thin scope of the subject matter covered and to heart by West Publishing Co., et al., pendix, like its anatomical analogue, casebook" is a contradiction in terms. the size of the casebook; e.g., Property will soon cure casebook elephantiasis. has outlived its usefulness and has This is not a new problem, and has over and Criminal Law casebooks are no • We've all seen how a so-called " lan­ been discredited along wi th the the years given rise to a number of lengthier than casebooks on Snail Law. dmark case" can consume thirty pages theoretical heresay, "Survival of the colloquial expressions. Though this unfortunate phenomenon in a first-edition casebook, only to be Fattest." For example, it should be clear to any can be easily described, it does not law student that the oft misused phrase yield readily to explanation or solution. "the long arm of the law" actua!Jy Thus, the sensitive law student has It should be clear to any law student that the oft­ refers to the arm used to carry been reduced to wistful speculation on 1 casebooks. Only now do we appreciate how many trees gave their lives for his misused phrase, the long arm of the law, , actually the full import of the threat, "I'll throw or her Environmental Law casebook. refers to the arm used to carry casebooks. the (law) book at you." To these students I say, "Don't Parkinson, author of Parkinson's Law despair." I'm not the sort who would (a thin book), was once overheard to raise your collective (un)consciousness distilled, without any loss of meaning, • Eliminate dissenting opinions: say, "The size of a casebook will ex­ and anxiety levels to an intolerable to a single sentence statement of the Nobody likes a sore loser. pand to fill the space allotted to it," i.e. degree only to leave you in despair. holding in the fifteenth edition. Why about the size of a large boar . This Quite the contrary. Relax, the days of wait? If it's good enough for the fifteen- • Free us from chain cites: When was the last time you looked up a case cited in a chain cite? When was the last time you read a chain cite? When was the The Last Whole ABA Catalogue last time you read a case? I thought so. • Wipe out the last four chapters of by Jim Loots Next came the ABA brochure place called Forseeability. One could every casebook: They only add fuel to It wasn't long after I came to school featuring a special Lawyer's Cruise spend a Saturday afternoon at the the fears of naive first-year students here that my mailbox began filling with through the Carribbean. What could Forum Shopping Center, catch a show who believe the professors' demands to epis tles addressed to " Attorney-at­ possibly be unique about a Lawyer's of "Children of a Lesser God" at the finish the last 1000 pages in the final Law" and beginning with the salutation Cruise? Do they discuss maritime law Specific Performance Theatre, then a week of class. " Dear Counsellor ..." or insurance claims against Cunard? late-night snack on Chief Justice What surprised me most was not my For that matter, why can't lawyers buy Burgers topped with wage garnishes • Forget casebooks altogether. Most name on the mailing lists, though, but Eagle-brand No. 2 pencils for their of­ Get the car tuned up at Bargain students would gladly pay their profs a the nature of the "Legal Aids" being of­ fices? is this profession really so inbred Mechanics. royalty for the privilege of not having to fered for the Compleate Barrister's that it needs its own ABA-approved Meanwhile, the children of attorneys buy a casebook, relying, as they would Well-Equipped Office. Scattered among typewriter ribbons? could play with the special ERA edition anyway, on Emanuels. the pages of these legal supply It doesn' t take a great deal of of the ever-popular Mr. Polatoehcad, catalogues were such items as Legal imagination to look forward to the-day complete with judicial shroud and his • Apply "Occam's Hacksaw," " Do not filing cabinets, Legal pencils and Legal when the legal profession has its own own back-up group, Donnie and Marie. multiply pages beyond necessity." telephone switchboards. Paperclips, Sears-Roebuck of specially-suited Teenagers could spend their nights at Many a casebook editor's editorial somehow specially suited for the prac­ products. The well-dressed lawyer the "Stop, Look and L1sten" disco. discretion has gone to flab through lack tice of Jaw, were featured in one. should cast aside his or her com­ In no lime at all, we could have an of exercise. Another spent great prose extolling the moner's underwear in favor of Bran­ economic system wholly independent of need for a certain kind of chair in a deis Briefs. He could join the Mitigation the mundane world of civilian mer­ 1 Well. almost nobody and you can always look up legal office. Diet Club and have his fortune told at a chandising. Praise be to the ABA! the ongmal cases in the reporters. nerd.

Law in the Raw Coni piled by :\'Jatthew Kierer Barefoot and Pregnant Process ofElimi nation Cheat Elite In Bellevue, Nebraska, they have their own way of Justice Sam Harshbarger (his real name) of the Harvard Law prof and colorful defense attorney doing things. Local high school officials have or­ West Virginia Supreme Court, who believes inter­ Alan Dershowitz has written a book which purports dered that two pages of an advanced biology tex­ state crime is a "fiction created by the Federal to expose "the dark underside of the legal tbook be glued together because they specifically Government," has recommended that President profession." Among the author's conclusions are, describe methods of birth control. Reagan talse the new federalism to its logical con­ first, that the criminal justice system depends for - Playboy Magazine, February 1982 clu.sion and eliminate both the Federal Criminal its effectiveness on the " pervasive dishonesty" of a Code and the F.B.I. "cheat elite" of prosecutors who distort evidence, - New York Times, March 23, 1982 judges who wink at it, and lawyers who pursue their own interests at their clients' expense. Second, defense attorneys like, incidentally, Alan Der­ showitz, act as guardians of freedom when they use legal " tricks" to keep criminals out of jail. " I do not Jury ofH er Peers? apologize for or feel guilty about helping to let a A Florida Circuit Court judge has ruled that a s ix­ The (Women's Defense' murderer go free, Dershowitz concludes, "even year old girl, charged with aggravated battery for In two separate crimina l prosecutions against though I realize that someday one of my clients may hitting a seven-year old schoolmate with a stick, women, decided one day apart, British courts have go out and kill again." may be tried as an adult. The request came from accepted defense arguments to mitigate sentences -New York Times, March 23, 1982 the girl's own attorney, after consultation with the based on pre-menstrual tension. In one case, a parents, who decided to seek a full jury trial woman who killed her boyfriend was allowed to because "we believe in the jury system." A thir­ plead guilty to " manslaughter with diminished Quote of the Week teen-year old boy is being charged as a co-defendant responsibility," sentenced to probation, and "I never use the words 'Republican' and Cor holding the victim's arms behind her back while released. ' Democrat.' It's 'liberal' a nd 'American'". the six-year old struck her. -Playboy Magazine, February 1982 - James.. Watt, U.S. Secretary of the Interior . -New York Times. March 27, 1982