International Social Science Review
Volume 94 | Issue 3 Article 1
December 2018 Bromance and Hookup Culture: A Study in the Performance of Masculinity by College Men Anna-Sophie Poost
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Recommended Citation Poost, Anna-Sophie (2018) "Bromance and Hookup Culture: A Study in the Performance of Masculinity by College Men," International Social Science Review: Vol. 94 : Iss. 3 , Article 1. Available at: https://digitalcommons.northgeorgia.edu/issr/vol94/iss3/1
This Article is brought to you for free and open access by Nighthawks Open Institutional Repository. It has been accepted for inclusion in International Social Science Review by an authorized editor of Nighthawks Open Institutional Repository. Bromance and Hookup Culture: A Study in the Performance of Masculinity by College Men
Cover Page Footnote Anna-Sophie Poost is a graduate of Elmira College with a degree in Sociology / Anthropology. This paper was first presented at the 2017 Pi Gamma Mu Triennial Convention.
This article is available in International Social Science Review: https://digitalcommons.northgeorgia.edu/issr/vol94/iss3/1
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Bromance and Hookup Culture: A Study in the Performance of Masculinity by College Men
College is the most opportune time for the development of young adults, most likely due
to the population’s similar age ranges, shared spaces, interests, and priorities. It is during this
time that people find their passions, plan for their futures, and build friendships. It is a time when
people believe they will find themselves. Sociologists argue that individuals do not find
themselves, but instead learn to define and perform a role based on societal standards and
pressures. While there are many different elements that go into a person’s role, gender is one
identifier that plays a large part in our society.
College is a prime space to develop gender performance as the atmosphere lends itself to
testing the limits of gender roles by identifying what behaviors are socially acceptable. In the
last decade, certain cultural trends and norms have taken root. Some generational norms, which
previously may have been perceived as calling into question a man’s sexual nature, or
homoerotic, have come to be more acceptable. One such prominent practice is “bromance,”
which this study examines to understand its intricacies and part in performative masculinity. This
paper argues that in order to maintain gender norms and the societal understanding of
masculinity, homoerotic or feminine exercises, such as bromances, must be offset by
compensatory hypermasculinity or clearly heterosexual masculine behaviors, such as partaking
in hookup culture. Both halves are important due to the cultural understanding of masculinity
and the widely accepted theory of gender fluidity and performance, and as such these norms are
making a rise. Using analysis of previous research that explores the different factors at play, such
as confidence, social settings, and boundaries, and data collected during comprehensive
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interviews with members of the population, the paper explores underlying behaviors and
reactions of college-aged men that exemplify such trends.
The culture of cisgender, straight, man’s man heteromasculinity surrounding these two
cultural trends are heavily dependent on an over exaggeration of performed actions as well as a
balance of habits that fall on the scale of homosexual in appearance and hypermasculinity. The
one side of this scale includes behaviors that could be perceived as homoerotic, or sexually
charged, specifically with someone from the same sex. This homoeroticism exists in bromances
in a joking manner, and in moving far beyond the limits of social acceptability for homosexuals
it is considered acceptable for heteromasculine individuals. In the off chance that this could be
mistaken, it is offset by hypermasculinity, or exaggerated male behaviors. These actions can act
in a reparative manner, as often times they will occur in tandem with perceived homoerotic
behavior, as such it is considered compensatory hypermasculinity.
Theory: Goffman’s Dramaturgy
Performativity in regards to social roles was first born as an element of Erving Goffman’s
Dramaturgy, which is a part of the theoretical school of symbolic interactionism. In his book,
The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, Goffman presents this theory, which is built on the
idea that every public action or reaction is a choice that an individual makes to appear a certain
way.1 The theory claims that each person is an actor, life is their stage, and those they interact
with are their audience or observers. Each person maintains control over how they act and
consequently, how they are perceived.
Within each controlled interaction, the actor works on a spectrum between two distinct
approaches. On one end, is the ‘sincere actor,’ who believes in the truth that he shares with his
audience, “We find that the performer can be fully taken in by his own act; he can be sincerely
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convinced that the impression of reality which he stages is the real reality.”2 For this performer,
their actions seem so close to their understanding of reality, that even they are fooled into
believing their acting is the truth. Moreover, oftentimes the observer will believe the
performance, thus convincing both actor and audience. Upon this occasion, the only one left
believing this to be a false reality is the sociologist themselves.3 Due to the genuineness with
which this interaction takes places, this individual is called the ‘sincere performer.’
The opposing end of the spectrum is the ‘cynical actor,’ who by Goffman’s definition,
“May not be taken in at all by his own routine.”4 As is often said, we are our own worst critic,
and in this vein of understanding, it becomes more difficult to believe themselves to be acting
fully truthfully when someone knows the full extent of the truth. When people are performing in
such a manner, they will often come to the point where they understand their ability to bend
perceptions and as such may feel inclined to do so in order to reach a wanted result. The
cynicism for which this side of the spectrum is named, refers to the very end of the spectrum at
which point the actor, is fully aware of his lie and does not care whether his audience even
believes him or not.5 Despite the negative connotation that comes with this description, it can be
offset with the idea, as presented by Goffman, that, “a cynical individual may delude his
audience for what he considers to be their own good, or for the good of the community…”6 At
times giving false convictions to one’s observers may seem necessary as it provides them with a
more positive experience in that interaction. For this reason, it becomes clear that both types of
performance have positive and negative reasoning to support them.
Goffman’s theory of ‘front stage’ complexifies our understanding of ‘performance.’ This
sub theory gives depth to ‘performance’ by explaining not only where the actors perform but also
the perceptions of the audience for each fixed setting. Goffman notes that ‘Front Stage’ is a
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specific part of Dramaturgy that explains when and how an individual chooses to play their part
when there is the possibility of continuous interaction with the audience.7 Goffman’s theory
examines the many parts of the ‘Front,’ which includes ‘Setting,’ ‘Manner,’ and ‘Appearance.’
The setting, which is the location or situation in which the actor performs, provides a
clear framework for a person’s performance. The setting within the front stage acknowledges
that an individual’s performance is not complete, and as such not correct, without taking place in
the proper environment. By building this environment the setting gives distinct beginnings and
ends: “Those who would use a particular setting as part of their performance cannot begin their
act until they have brought themselves to the appropriate place and must terminate their
performance when they leave it."8 The setting is the overarching term to explain the restrictions
of a performer that act both preventatively and precursory. For example, this study and the
interactions discussed in it are set against a college campus setting, more specifically the social
life that occurs within the college climate.
While acting on the ‘front stage,’ there are specific qualities that are coupled with a
performance. Goffman notes ‘manner and ‘appearance.’ The ‘manner’ element of Dramaturgy
describes how a person chooses to comport themselves and address an interaction based on what
they are presented with before entering the scenario, alternatively appearance specifically
dictates social standings.9 The different variables that are found in any given interaction mold
how a performer will react due to what they expect to be dealing with and the outcome they are
seeking.
It should be noted that Goffman also discusses the role each person plays as an observer.
When acting as the audience, we expect that we can take what others are showing us at face
value. Goffman states, “When an individual plays a part he implicitly requests his observers to
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take seriously the impression that is fostered before them. They are asked to believe that the
character they see actually possesses the attributes he appears to possess.”10 Overtime, observers
may come to realize the duality to this ‘truth.’ With experience, people learn as the audience to
be more aware of what they see and question the factuality of what is presented to them. As such,
their doubt guides their actions as an audience member. Goffman argues that, “So common is
this social doubt that observers often give special attention to features of the performance that
cannot be readily manipulated.”11 It is only after interacting that the observer will decide whether
or not to trust the actions of the actor. Experience as an observer and the awareness that comes
with it helps to form a ‘generality.’ This concept contends that those who have seen enough
relatively similar performances are able to compartmentalize said performances and use their
experiences to respond accordingly.12 In so doing, they can then limit the mental capacity taken
up by reactionary measures and still manage a myriad of situations.13 Generality is Goffman’s
interpretation of what many in psychology would term as ‘schema.’ Eventually with experience,
both the performer and the audience come to understand and experience both sides of
performances—genuine and distrustful.
Gender Performativity Theory
Performance seems to be an element of just about every aspect of society, and gender is
no different. Traditional gender theorists, such as R.W. Connell and Judith Butler, suggest that
gender is a performance built on each action and reaction of an individual. This performance
means that gender is not fixed, but evolves based on an individual and their actions and
behaviors. In her book Masculinities, Connell explains that each new interaction provides a
space for which gender performances can be changed and upheld.14 Such malleability makes
gender and masculinity not as much a social institution an individual comes to inhabit but one
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that is shaped by the many actions and reactions performed by the population trying to explore
and fill the role. Butler agrees with this theory in her book, Gender Trouble, stating, “There is no
gender identity behind the expressions of gender; that identity is performatively constituted by
the very ‘expression’ that are said to be its results.”15 Furthering this theory, Butler expresses the
need to continuously play the role of masculinity in order to preserve the illusion.16 In this way,
individuals wishing to be perceived as masculine must determine how best to perform
masculinity and upon doing so repeat the behaviors in order to instill and uphold their
masculinity for others. Thus there is a sliding scale on which men can choose to approach
masculinity, testing the limits all the time, while preserving the elements they deem necessary to
their identity.
Masculinity is a deeply researched topic by one particular sociologist, Michael Kimmel,
who has gone so far as to write an encyclopedia on men and masculinity. In his encyclopedia,
Kimmel explains that masculinity changes based on situational variation including a society’s
evolution, an individual’s development, differing cultures, and gender socialization.17 Each
minute change brings a new performance which paired with such broad origins explains just how
vast gendered performances are. As people progress through their lives, maturing, and gaining
more experience and insight, there is the potential for people to develop new and different
portrayals of masculinity. The performances that play out in bromances sit on the very edges of
the limits, and in doing so, help to widen them.
Previous Friendship Studies
Just like many other elements of society, friendship has become highly gendered and
performance based, and as such each individual’s performance of and in a friendship determines
others’ perceptions of said individual. Migliaccio puts it well when he states, “‘doing friendship’
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is ‘doing gender.’”18 Good friendships are said to maintain a level of intimacy that is exclusive to
that pairing of people. However emotional intimacy is not lauded by men as “The ideal form of
intimacy is based on a feminine definition, thus failing to account for male interaction styles.”19
The fear of appearing effeminate forces many men to play off their friendships as more
masculine and less emotionally constructed than they are or by not developing as deep a
connection as they might like in a friendship. In order to prevent the risk of being misconstrued
as more feminine, men simply evade any actions that could be misperceived. The change comes
in the lost opportunity for the development of “expressive intimacy in friendships and self-
disclosing with friends.”20 The expectations of gender performance in a friendship forces same-
sex male friendship into a box, as ‘manly men’ are expected to be emotionless. Migliaccio
explains that many masculine-identifying individuals develop friendships through shared
experiences instead of discussion.21 So while some women will sit around discussing issues and
how they feel, men will find commonality and intimacy in a game of basketball, a fishing trip, or
a crazy adventure. Some men still seek the ‘expressive friendships’ and find success in
maintaining their masculinity by building up the manly elements of their friendship, which
allows them to bring focus back to that aspect of themselves.22 Male friendships are said to be
characterized by the masculine elements they maintain, and their performance has more validity
if those carry the most weight. Support is given in masculine ways in order to maintain the social
image, “When men want to express affection to one another, their means are rather limited. In
the place of directness, we’ve developed ritualized gestures which are safer, and a lot more
ambiguous.”23 There is comfort for men in showing their affection in a less-than-affectionate
manner, thus controlling others perceptions of them as more hardened.
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Bromance
The previously stated expectations for male friendship are shattered by the idea of a
‘bromance,’ which calls into question all that is understood of a man in a same-sex friendship.
Michael DeAngelis explains the concept by stating that, “‘Bromance’ has come to denote an
emotionally intense bond between presumably straight males who demonstrate an openness to
intimacy that they neither regard, acknowledge, avow, nor express sexually.”24 A bromance
breaks all social norms and expectations for a male friendship by suggesting both emotional and
physical attachment. The confusion of a bromance comes in the form of mirroring the will-they-
won’t-they of an intimate heterosexual friendship, as those not directly involved seek to
understand the middle ground of a friendship that is more than every other friendship while still
remaining less than a romantic relationship. DeAngelis explains that, “If bromancers are close
friends who are always more than ‘just friends,’ their relationships are neither sexually nor
procreatively goal oriented… bromance sustains its identity from the anticipation of a sexual
‘something’ that will never happen.”25 The hypersexualized nature of bromances would appear
to give a more homoerotic edge, however the knowledge that nothing sexual will come from the
relationship provides a certainty within the relationship that does not exist in other sexualized
relationships in college. It may be more likely that this characteristic of bromance relationships
builds on the social acceptance of men having high sex drives. This social norm develops from
the expectation of men to repress most true emotions which, “leaves only aggression and
sexuality as accepted channels for the release of emotional energy.”26 The remaining means for
emotional release play well into a bromance as it allows for men to express their sexual interests
in an almost belligerent manner, while not falling in the bad light of society by acting out against
women.
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This would line up well with the assertions made by several authors that the key to
maintain masculinity in friendship performances is by not appearing too effeminate.27 Depending
on each individual and their relationships, the portrayal of masculinity differs provided they are
maintaining their image through the adherence to some norms. David and Brannon explain the
variability of acceptable behavior when stating, “Most social roles involve very few exact
behaviors. More often they consist of clear but general guidelines as to how to conduct
oneself.”28 These so called guidelines provide space for development of individual growth and
performances, which change throughout life and especially in periods of development and spaces
of learning.
Masculine Development for Young Adults
The constructs placed on men are not always how they would like to act but instead are
limiters on what they feel comfortable doing without risking being ostracized. In interviews with
high school students, Michael Kehler found that students denounced the term ‘gay’ as a trigger
insult, however they failed to understand the concept of male-male love being anything aside
from gay.29 This failure to understand any delineations reveals that for many individuals,
masculinity is a two-sided coin: heterosexual or homosexual.30 The distinctions of masculinity
are reminiscent of the distinctions made between gender norms, as they set developing
adolescents up for ostracization. In Dude, You’re a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High
School, C. J. Pascoe explains one of many societal limits, touching. Pascoe states that, “While
girls touched other girls across social environments, boys usually touched each other in rule-
bound environments (such as sports) or as a joke to imitate fags.”31 The variation between
societal norms for boys and girls demonstrates the gendered expectations and the unstated rules
that follow these obligations. The limitation of emotional comprehension and gray areas
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preserves the societal idea of heteromasculinity for these high school boys who now have a
stunted understanding of love and the emotional possibilities within a masculine performance.
College tends to be a good location for the development of masculinity performance; the
lines of acceptable and unacceptable are easily identifiable due to the similarities between the
members of the population and their close proximity to one another. Sarah Lafleur documents
this very sentiment in her research by expressing the idea that college gives space to attempt
different performances as well as a context for self-identification by providing outlets for
experimentation without the fear of severe repercussions.32 This opportunity is bolstered by the
glorification of college as the best time of a person’s life, where one can experiment with less
pressure from the society that raised the individual. Individuals in college tend to be more often
classified as emerging adults and tend to have more reckless behavior while looking for thrill.33
The college environment as a whole dares guys to develop themselves into men while providing
a space for them to test the limits of their societal role.
College also poses a challenge for many men who have limited development in the ways
of socialization and emotion management. In college, men are met with new challenges to their
identity, and they often are faced with emotional conflict which is difficult for them to
understand due to their stunted emotional development.34 The wrap-around learning that takes
place in college focuses on emotional maturation for some while others grow more stable. This
age group and time period is typified by, “Less stable financial situations, interpersonal
relationships, living arrangements, cognitive and emotional development, and religious
believes.”35 The lack of certainty in these areas forces this cohort to experience a lack of stability
that encourages experimentation and exploration; this is exemplified by both bromances and
casual sexual encounters. These activities may be an exploration of gender performance as the
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interactions are set in an atmosphere where norms are bent, even if only temporarily. Such an
environment can also help to cause a permanent shift in the cultured gender norms.
For the last several decades, society put men in a box saying all men are stoic and
emotionless. Our culture then aligned itself with the box and naturalized this specific form of
expectations for masculine behavior. David and Brannon argue that there are guidelines for male
sex roles, “[we] believe that there are four such general themes, or dimensions, which underlie
the male sex role we see in our culture…: 1. No Sissy Stuff, 2. The Big Wheel, 3. The Sturdy
Oak, and Give ‘Em Hell!”36 These four elements are believed to comprise the expectations for an
American man’s man, and often times men bend to the whims of society. Sometimes exceptions
to male expectations are made for homoerotic behaviors due to situational acceptance of these
behaviors as parodies in the name of heteromasculinity. Lafleur describes such an experience in
her research at a Catholic college during a male beauty pageant as she states, “Under the guise of
making fools of themselves through behavior not explicitly condoned outside of the
performance, the contestants perform and reaffirm the importance of heterosexuality and
masculinity.”37 These provisions of situationally acceptable ‘gay actions’ provides men with the
opportunity to express their more emotional and effeminate side, albeit in a joking manner,
without fear of retribution from society.
This literature indicates that men want and enjoy closer relationships with each other,
however in order to maintain their heterosexuality and masculinity they must compensate for
their feminine qualities and actions through actions that move them up the masculine ladder.
These usually come at the lowering of others, specifically homosexuals and women. Brinkman,
Isacco, and Rosén examine the opposite half of put-downs as they discuss college men as targets,
explaining that both male and female friends will comment on a man’s veering from accepted
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portrayals of masculinity.38 This conclusion of shared likelihood was contrary to their hypothesis
and the literature that indicated men would be more likely to put each other down. In this way,
the traditional performances of masculinity become so widely accepted that the peer policing
becomes stricter and as such, it can be assumed that men would need to take more action to
preserve the standards. Kehler goes past this to assert that in certain social circles the proclivity
for heterosexuality is so high that it is assumed to be inherent, “Heterosexuality is seen as
natural, not a performance.”39 Throughout the study, Kehler found that in order to perpetuate this
atmosphere the young men in his study would regularly fall back to “othering” and homophobia
to reassert their position.40 In distancing themselves from non-masculine groups, men are
showing those around them that they must in this way be more masculine. Brinkman, Isacco, and
Rosén explain that this trend of putting people down comes from, as previously stated, a need for
balance in gender expression.41 The article states, “As intimacy and expressions of emotions are
often considered feminine and thus, non-masculine, men may seek to balance their less
masculine friendships with other expressions of masculinity.”42 This idea of balance is also seen
in Kehler’s writings as he shares the story of one interviewee’s birthday present (a porn
magazine) which showed contrasting expressions of love from his friends with
hypermasculinity.43 Thus men are given the opportunity to express deeper emotion toward others
as long as they rise to the expectations of society in other arenas. This supports this paper’s
contention that hookup culture provides a needed contrast to bromances.
This balancing act is crucial for men who enter “feminine territory,” such as ballet and
cheerleading. Haltom and Worthen explored collegiate ballet through the lens of male dancers,
and they found that male dancers fought the negative conceptions by doing three things, “(a)
emphasizing heterosexual privilege, (b) comparing ballet to sports, and (c) classifying ballet as
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an elite art form.”44 The subjects in this study asserted their heteromasculinity by presenting the
outsider with an idea of how extremely masculine ballet can be. They bolster their argument with
reasoning including discussions on the number of attractive women they interact with and the
higher level of difficulty dancing can be.45 When neither of these strategies work, they accept the
possibility that others may view them as less masculine, by negating the opinion of people who
simply do not understand. By working off of these strategies, the dancers are able to balance the
perceptions of both homoerotic behaviors and heteromasculine behaviors. Male cheerleaders
experiences similar societal misconstructions, however they choose one of two ways, orthodox
masculinity or inclusive, to handle the misconceptions that come with the sport, as reported by
Anderson.46 The first group of male cheerleaders—orthodox cheerleaders—plays upon constant
overt sexism and slightly more inconspicuous homophobia to build their masculine performance.
Anderson explained the tendencies of this group by stating “Most of the men in the orthodox
group stressed their athleticism and their masculinity, and they attempted to distance themselves
from acting feminine or being perceived as gay.”47 The second group was the antithesis of the
first, with very gay-friendly attitudes and homoerotic behavior, as many described themselves as
‘metrosexual.’48 The contrasting sides of the spectrum still managed to produce men deemed
masculine, which shows how sometimes it is not as much about how you portray your
masculinity but how much you portray your own confidence in your gender identity.
Approaching masculinity through confidence is an underlying theme in the literature,
which builds on the idea that masculinity is related to asserting confidence in your manliness to
the point of not caring what others think. This was found to be especially true for the inclusive
cheerleading squad, as Anderson presented one of his conclusions, “Because these men had a
culturally positive association with homosexuality, homophobia ceased to be a tool for masculine
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marginalization.”49 By eliminating the attached stigma, individuals are free to associate however
they like, knowing that societal standards do not need to limit them, which is a significant change
from Kehler’s subjects in high school who were walking the tenuous path of masculinity.50
Additionally, this confidence is central to stigma management in ballet, as the men assert that at
the end of the day they know that all it takes to be a man is to peddle their gender performance,
because even heteromasculine men can have more feminine personality traits.51 The men who
take part in the pageant as discussed by Lafleur use the same level of thinking as they allow
people to think whatever they wish, knowing all along that they are secure and confident in their
sexuality, which will translate to their audience.52 The nonchalance of this approach turns
questions of femininity around on themselves, placing those of question in control of their
destination.
The Male Role in Hookup Culture
Bromance is a relatively new term, but it harkens back to the findings surrounding the use
of compensatory hypermasculinity to balance out homoerotic behaviors. There has been some
theorizing, specifically by Michael Kimmel, on the growing hookup cultural movement. In
Guyland, Kimmel shows the significance of hooking up for college men on the performance of
masculinity.53 Kimmel states early on, in reference to a David Mamet quote, that women are just
a form of money men use to build their status with men.54 Kimmel makes similar statements in a
chapter on hookup culture. He draws the conclusion that hookups, for men, come down to the
opportunity for advancement up the social ladder. “Hooking up is a way that guys communicate
with other guys—it’s about homosociality. It’s a way that guys compete with each other,
establish a pecking order of cool studliness, and attempt to move up in their rankings.”55
Hooking up alone is a huge element of gender performativity, as showcased by Kimmel, because
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it is a direct line to social mobility and representation on a man’s behalf. It wards off questioning
of an individual’s sexuality by showing through action a man’s intention which creates a socially
synonymous link between sexual activity and masculinity. With casual sex growing in popularity
and acceptability, and likely due to its appeal as a factor in social mobility, the act becomes less
of a joint experience and more pertinent to an individual as an experience for themselves. More
casual sexual relationships are said to mean more for the male participant as a fulfillment of
sexual desire and personal needs.56 These types of relationships are not seeking out emotional
intimacy, but more often a desire to fulfill an animal instinct, which allows for the playing out of
sexuality and aggression in a manner that is becoming increasingly more acceptable. Hooking up
is seen as filling both a physical need as well as providing social mobility, which provides reason
to why it is sought after for so much of the population.
Application
For this study, information on hookup culture as well as homophobia and
hypermasculinity gives reason to how and why it has become more socially acceptable to partake
in the more seemingly homoerotic bromance. Bromance can be linked with deep friendships like
that of the students in Kehler’s study and even the inclusive cheerleading squad in Anderson’s
research, as well as more physically aggressive behavior. The cultural trend is pockmarked by
the same homoeroticism as well as the self-deprecating confidence of unabashed men found in
several other studies. Additionally, the development of a culture of casual hookup sex provides
relationships for men that become more based on the activity than communication of emotion.
Relationships with male friends dig deeper, thus sex based relationships become more
emotionally detached. By folding together these two contrasting ideas, this study examines how
modern college men balance different elements of gender performance in order to be
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continuously perceived as masculine, especially with the slow but continual inversion of the
women to men ratio on college campuses.
Methodology
Seeing masculinity as a performance that shapes people’s perceptions of self and each
other, means it is not based on a single social institution but a collage of ongoing interactions,
this study considered specifically two elements of college culture, bromance and casual sex, and
their effects on the performance of masculinity in the shaping of individuals perceptions of self
and others. This study used a series of interviews with five subjects; these interviews were made
up of a semi-structured section as well as a set of open-ended questions. This format for the
interviews ensured that the information was well-rounded and covered the topics while also
being thorough and lending itself to each participant.
This study attempts to demonstrate that bromances are the male to male equivalent of
closer than “just friends.” Subjects were questioned as to how their bromances differ from other
friendships and analyzed based on sexual and physical comfort as well as a deeper connection.
The interviews’ aim was to gather information to help with understanding the motives behind the
hook-up culture in order to determine what, if any, ties they have to masculine performativity. In
particular, this study will look for ties of both bromances and hook-up culture to self-perception
as well as gender performance, specifically within male friend groups.
Sample
The list of interviewees was compiled based on a theoretical sampling procedure, as
many of the subjects exhibit inherent qualities that line up with the culture and actions under
study. Their use of bromances and hook up culture both publicly and privately manifest into a
cisgender, heterosexual, male identity performance that has become known to their friends and
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acquaintances. All subjects are white individuals, and while their race likely impacts how they
perform masculinity, this social construct is controlled for in this study due to the already
complex nature of the research.
The subjects are as follows:
1. Tyler—A sophomore Economics major who plays field hockey and is a resident
assistant. He is very open and public about his close, seemingly sexual relationship with
his longtime friend. Tyler enjoys flirting with his female friends and actively seeks out
hook ups. Throughout his interview Tyler used analogies to explain his thinking. In
addition, he regularly found ways to slip his heterosexual identity into conversation.
2. Harold—A senior who is majoring in English and plays for the golf team. Harold admits
to actively seeking out casual sex, working toward several campus-based sexual
fantasies. Harold returned several times to his impending graduation as a reference for his
reasoning on several decisions or attitudes.
3. Matt—A junior math major and lacrosse player. Matt currently has a girlfriend but has
significant hook up experience and is seen as quite a charmer. In addition, his close
bromance with another math major is well-known around campus as they are seen
together regularly and a reference point for many as a clear example of a bromance.
4. Xavier—A junior lacrosse player majoring in English. He switched friend groups in the
past year and has seen distinct functions in each. Although he has had a few serious
relationships, he has returned to single life and casual hook ups. Xavier has had several
personal struggles in his life which have shaped him, as does his close friendship with a
female friend from home. During his interview, Xavier would often remove himself from
the equation while discussing his friends, relationships, and actions.
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Analysis
The interviews took place over several weeks lasting between fifteen and thirty-five
minutes. Due to the variability of the information obtained through the interviews as well as their
structure, the analysis of the data was built on coding which looked for specific patterns and
themes within the interviews and the subjects’ body language. When collated, the themes help to
form support for the theoretical arguments on the use of bromances and casual sex for the
formation of gender identity performance in male college students born in the mid-1990s.
Bromances versus Friendships
Most of the literature agrees that there are many elements to the definition of a bromance,
which included a more than “just friends” relationship comprised of both emotional depth as well
as the insinuation of physical interaction that can best be described as homoerotic. Throughout
the interviews, participants were asked what elements make up a bromance. Many of the subjects
agreed with the literature in some way or another. For example, Matt described his college
bromance by saying, “We’re a married couple.” While this explanation leaves much to be
interpreted, the definition helped make clear the relative depth of their relationship. Matt’s
assertion indicates that they are more than just friends, and while it is uncertain the level of
physical intimacy they partake in, the atmosphere of their relationship seems straightforward,
which is in line with the explanations DeAngelis puts forward about bromances.57 Matt expanded
on his bromance relationship with a story of how he and his close friend go to the gym together,
which is followed by forty-five minutes of sitting around talking while they share protein powder
shakes. This story indicates that there are several levels to their relationship, which exists on an
emotional level but also exists because of their shared experience of going to the gym. This
excursion is important in understanding their friendship as Matt expressed that he would not feel
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comfortable working out with just anyone, and especially not a girl. This information indicates
that their friendship is anchored, as theory suggests many male friendships are, by the quality
time and memories that come with their regular gym visits (a very masculine activity in itself).
While speaking with Xavier on the definition of bromances, he provided a few different
elements of a bromance. He first touched upon the mental support system that bromances can
provide, “Normally, you have normal interactions of like guys, and say—it’s like a best friend
and a bromance would also be like, you do almost everything together… you know almost
everything about the other person.” Moreover, he explained that close male friends may also
partake in, “the common phrase is you do like ‘gay things together,’” which is to say that they
occasionally show their love physically. These types of interactions, both physical and mental,
are less acceptable according to society’s masculinity standards. With all of that in mind, Xavier
summed it up by explaining the reality of bromances which is “It’s basically like a sense of
you’re almost dating them, just without any of the physical stuff, but like you’re there
emotionally for them, everything else.” This builds on the idea that those who are in a bromance
are more than ‘just friends’ and in addition, they act with their friend’s intentions in mind.
Both Xavier and Matt share stories of bromances wherein the people performing are
sincere and ‘genuine actors,’ both in their beliefs as well as their portrayal to outside observers.
While these subjects believe that bromances carry weight, other subjects and people in society
would believe otherwise. The ‘cynical actors’ view bromances in a more shallow and joking
manner, which was also represented in the interviews. Harold stated early on his disbelief in the
whole bromance system, “I play it—it’s like a pretend thing,” For Harold, the emotional bond is
less obvious in the bromance and as such the whole relationship type becomes more of a funny
joke, as opposed to a loving and developed bond with a friend or colleague. He describes the
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bromance as more of a long running joke than a true bond. These jokes are so deeply rooted in
gender performativity for Harold that he does not see bromances as being anything more than a
game or being perceived as one by others.
Emotional Bond
A true bromance creates a bond between two individuals whose relationship provides an
openness that gender performance usually dictates men cannot have. Open communication in
friendships is usually considered a feminine trait. As such, when men can partake they hold on
tight to the individual with whom they have connected. Tyler spoke volumes on this subject, at
one point stating, “We can talk about things that we want to do, like in the future, whether it be
work, school… like he’s involved, like, for the rest of my life, in some way, shape, or form…
like I’m going to be at his wedding, he’s going to be at my wedding. We’ll probably be best men
for each other. He is for me at least.” While this statement would likely mean very little coming
from a woman, the open expression of love from one man toward another indicates the depth of
this relationship, a depth that Tyler does not find in any other relationship.
These deeper friendships can be compared to the lighter friendships that the subjects have
and which usually arise from shared experiences. Matt told of his high school friends who had a
weekly guys’ night, “Since like our sophomore year of high school we had Guys Night once a
week, like that was like consistent. Always. No girls allowed, and we just like get f***ed up,”
and while they have gone onto college and no longer get together on a weekly basis, when they
do get together it becomes a wild adventure. While their friendships likely go deeper than these
crazy nights, the retelling of this story indicates, as Migliaccio would suggest, that Matt would
want the audience to perceive that his friendships are based less on emotion, which would be
considered effeminate, and more on shared experience.58
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Physicality
While the emotional attachment that is suggested by some bromances may make them
appear to be similar to any close female friendship, the physical nature of it creates a bit more of
a contrast between all male and all female friendships. There are two specific aspects that were
repeatedly reported in data collection: homoerotic behavior and hypersexualization of each other
as well as engagement in brute force.
In regards to the hypersexuality, Tyler’s description of his attitudes sums it up well, “My
close friends, I’m close with in the sense, like, I’m huggy, like I’ll hug them… we can jump on
each other, and stuff, and we can be like naked in the same room, it doesn’t matter.” Tyler’s
bromance, which has matured through college, shows a deep love which, if set in a different
context, would easily be perceived as existing in a homosexual couple. Tyler’s friendships
exhibit truly homoerotic behavior that generations previous to this would not have been quite as
accepting of, however it comes from a balance that Tyler creates with his friends, which
indicates that there is more to his masculinity performance than would first be assumed.
Tyler described in quick succession both his love-y side, as previously stated, then a more
aggressive side, as he stated, “My close friends that I’ve known my entire life, we’ll likely
wrestle, and like punch each other. Slap each other… But like in my mind, I don’t do anything
sexual.” His specification on his thinking indicates that he is still cognizant of how his
performance may be perceived, which likely encouraged him to clarify his thinking. With that
said, his statements mirrored the sentiments of subjects in Lafleur’s study, who felt that their
behavior was acceptable situationally due to their purposeful intention to be perceived as fools.59
Moreover, research suggests that the interactions between Tyler and his friends come from the
need for an emotional release that becomes channeled through brutality and hypersexualization.
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Harold’s experiences are similar in the over exaggeration of actions toward each other, as
he explained that when he and his friends pretend to have a bromance their affectionate
expressions push the limits, “If we’re going to be affectionate, it’s going to be over the top, and
like really try to cross boundaries.” These sentiments reflect a need to make the performance
overtly fake for not just the individuals involved but also anyone watching. With that said,
Harold elaborated on the possibility of misinterpretation of sexuality by stating that, “if they
didn’t know us, maybe… but at that point if they didn’t know us, why would I care?” Harold’s
thought process lines up with the belief that if confidence in your performance is not enough then
negation of opinions is the solution. In othering and negating opinion, Harold is able to maintain
his position on the social ladder by simply refusing to acknowledge his competitors.
The “Line”
While the participants seem to come to a consensus on both an emotional expectation as
well as a strangely physical connection within a bromance, they tend to have varying degrees of
understanding as to where the line of acceptable and too far is located.
Some of the subjects provided clear specification about the location of the line by
identifying elements of any other sexual relationship that, for them, go too far for bromance
relationships. Xavier specified that, “If he’s kissed me, that’s where I draw the line,” while
Xavier took a second to reason through his thoughts, Matt was very specific and assertive with,
“He doesn’t touch me.” Matt’s answer came with a layer of almost aggression, and after some
coaxing he eventually followed up with an explanation stating, “Let’s just say, I wasn’t as
cultured when I came here. I was extremely homophobic when I came here; I would not respond
well… I just don’t like being touched. I hate PDA, guy or girl.” Upon hearing a further
explanation, it seems that Matt’s line comes originally from a homophobic place or at least a fear
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of homosexual perceptions, but after even further explanation, his hatred seems to lie even
deeper. Though he seems to have matured slightly through college, as one would expect, he still
holds some deep-seated fear of perceived homosexuality. This fear may be entrenched in his
perception as sexuality being one of two fixed points and not a part of fluid spectrum, similar to
the subjects of Pascoe’s research.60 Furthermore, while his reasoning still seems hazy, there
seems to be a link back to the expectations of masculinity set forth by David and Brannon, which
state that society encourages men to portray themselves as strong as well as emotionally and
physically detached.61
For some individuals, the line comes not from any one specific action, but having the
action taken toward them. Tyler spoke profusely about the various hypersexualized activities he
partook in with the other half of his bromance, “We can jump on each other and stuff and we can
be like naked in the same room, it doesn’t matter.” While this may seem a bit over the top, Tyler
definitively expressed his boundaries by stating that, “I don’t like kissing men, because I’m still
straight, like some guys like are open enough to do that with friends that they’re close to.” If that
is not evidence enough, moments later, Tyler asserted that he was not interested in, “Doing
anything actually gay, like any activity that would be homosexual in my mind so that would be
kissing, any physical representation of love making.” On the surface, it seems as if it may be
about the act for Tyler. However, by putting it through the lens of things that are ‘gay,’ it
becomes not about the act but about the perception that would come with the act, so while he
seemed to have more liberal views on acceptable acts with bromances, his clear distinguisher as
not partaking, condemns the act. Moreover, he attempts to soften his opinion by making a
provision that other straight friends might do it without judgement from him.
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Tyler does make a few concessions to situationally acceptable ‘gay things,’ as he
explained that he would have to be under the influence of some alcohol or the like, “If I was
super drunk and didn’t remember or I didn’t know what I was doing then if I did it involuntarily
then I wouldn’t care, but I’m not gonna want to do it. And then like, there’s no like intercourse,
that’s not going to happen.” By condemning these actions, Tyler is able to create a space
between himself and the possible misperception placed on him. He is provided an easy way out
from being misidentified while also appearing accepting, with his answer umbrella-ing him with
a covert homophobic statement. In this way, Tyler can present himself as a good guy while also
asserting his personal dominance. This is a classic display of the ‘othering’ technique, which is
used by some groups to maintain control over their perceived masculinity due to an ingrained
homophobia which is not reflected immediately in their statements.
Hook-up Culture
These men have developed deeper emotional bonds to other individuals, showing
themselves to have a more ‘feminine’ side. However, the possibility of being mistaken for
having a more effeminate personality still weighs on them, leading to definite gender
performances that take place in both day to day conversation as well as nights out. Casual sex
provides an outlet for expression as well as fulfills needs and, as such, becomes a factor in
masculinity performance.
Both Tyler and Harold expressed in a clear and concise manner that, in an ideal night out
they end it ‘getting laid.’ This ideology indicates that whether or not they are actually successful
in approaching women or taking someone home, an elemental aspect of their perfect evening
involves casual sex. Moreover, the little intention behind who they are particularly interested in
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ending the night with indicates that for them the purpose of the sex is purely fulfilling their
sexual desires and need.
Additionally, these nights out provide men with a bonding experience, that plays back
into their need to base friendships in experiences as opposed to emotion. Tyler discussed
wingman-ing at length, as he felt it was important to support each other in “getting some.” In this
way, picking up girls becomes a group effort and a new memory for Tyler and his friends.
Xavier’s explanation for this approach to the night out gives a bit more meaning to their
desire to have sex. As he stated, “If I’m going to pursue a girl at the bar… for that it’s more of
like a stress release sort of thing.” He explains that for his friend’s group pursuing and then
having sex is not a need to have an emotional connection but for the emotional and hormonal
release. This speaks directly to the college culture’s acceptance of releasing energy through a
sexual manner, which is an extension of Ludeman’s explanation of the few acceptable means for
men to release excess hormones or emotions.62
The Role of Peer Pressure
While collecting data, the topic of “wingman-ing” came up across the board. Everyone
involved mentioned the role male college students played in each other’s love lives. Upon further
discussion, it became apparent that not only were friends helping others ‘get laid’ they or their
friends may feel inclined, due to the presence of others, to see where things go even when they
had no interest in a woman at the bar. Still others indicated that some wingman-ing and hooking
up came solely from the desire for fulfillment of sexual needs and not from any interest in the
woman involved. Some interviewees did not overtly express these types of situations occurring,
but many remarked on the possibility.
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Xavier was able to recognize that peer pressure factors into a night out and ‘the pursuit of
girl,’ despite strong feelings that he was not personally affected by this peer pressure, he
explained that there were expectations with his friends to make headway each night out. In
Xavier’s friend group, a night out was key for proving your dominance, “It was almost all about
the pursuit of girl… the common interaction was like, ‘who’d you talk to tonight,’ ‘whose
numbers did you get’ and then they wanted to know stories the next day or whatever else, and
that’s kinda their goals.” The expectation that members of the friends group will all make strides
in the evening and ‘get some action,’ as expressed by Xavier, implies the significance of casual
sex to acting within the group dynamic. Kimmel might suggest that this is part of developing the
pecking order of masculinity. The women and sex act as a social currency as those involved were
able to quantify their masculinity and move up the social ladder.
While he did not explicitly state it, Harold understood the social pressures of hooking up
and its worth as social currency. He expressed that while his friends had never actually made him
feel like he had to hook up with anyone, being out with a different friend group could impact the
pressure on him to perform. Harold explained that, “I mean if I was hanging out with the ___
team that might be different, ‘cause they all get around a lot more, but again I’m usually not
[with them],” in considering this possible and even plausible scenario, Harold is in essence
admitting that hook-up culture and casual sex plays some part in climbing the social ladder.
The most telling situation of peer-pressure came from Matt who, when asked whether he
had ever pressured his friends to hook-up with a girl, told with a laugh, “Oh yeah, it’s so funny…
If they’re [his friends] really drunk. The girl—say the girl’s— super super ugly, and like you like
know he’s gonna wake up and be like ‘Oh, f***.’ And you’re like ‘oh how funny would this be,’
and like you do it [set them up].” In recounting the scene and the girl’s appearance, he asserts to
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the interviewer his masculine performance and his dominance over his friends. Moreover, he
objectifies both the girl and the act to show the lengths people will go to maintain social position.
This is similar to Pascoe’s explanation about touching, where she explains that boys touching
girls, “took the form of a ritualistic power play that embedded gender meaning of boys as
powerful and girls as submissive.”63 While Pascoe’s explanation is a bit more toned down in
action, in essence they both are expressing the idea that people can be played against each other
and objectified for the entertainment of others.64
Masculine Identity and Public Perception
Even while using the different elements of college culture to shape their identities,
sometimes men will see a seemingly skewed public perception of themselves and put in
additional effort to appear especially manly; the need to make up this difference manifests as
compulsive hypermasculinity. This effort comes through less in specific stories or situations and
more in the language used as well as their behavior and the approaches to conversation taken
within the interviews. These relate back to Dramaturgy, specifically manner and appearance, as
they are additional aspects of performativity and greatly impact the believability of an
individual’s performance.
For example, Tyler regularly slipped in references to his heterosexuality throughout the
discussion, which was significantly longer than any of the others. Only two minutes into the
conversation, when prompted about his sexuality, he explained that he was, “strictly
heterosexual.” Ten minutes later, when discussing a good night out he stated that, “At the end of
the night, I get laid,” with further prompting on whether it would be an acquaintance or stranger,
he did not feel it was necessary to specify either way. Though after a few seconds went by and
we began to move on, he went back to make especially clear that the interaction would have to
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be with a woman. While these seem like small details of the interview, Tyler remained assertive
throughout the interview that he was in fact attracted to women, and in so doing pushed a very
obvious gender performance into the interview. In forcing the issue, Tyler’s gender performance
became less genuine, which Goffman would say makes it feel less authentic and more forced for
the audience. This behavior also indicated that Tyler was not as comfortable with his
heteromasculinity performance as he would like to let on, and as such beefed up his
compensatory sexuality, which in turn made both the audience and him less confident in the
perceptions versus the reality of his gender identity.
Several times throughout the interview process I found that subjects would express
sentiments that implied acting in an open manner with their thoughts and feelings made them
less masculine, and when they act in such a way they go against the norms, a belief that is
supported by literature. When speaking about his past, Xavier stated that, “I use to be very, very
open about just talking about just anything, any whatever—making fun of myself, doing what
non-masculine type things,” within his anecdote, Xavier implies that manly men cannot share
emotion or show their burden, because in doing so it implies the individual is less of a man.
Furthermore, Xavier shared that by maintaining close friendships with homosexual boys in high
school he very quickly was lumped in with them. Xavier’s understanding of high school lines up
with the literature that found that for many high school boys, masculinity was not a spectrum and
if you were gay you could not also be masculine. However, as the research on cheerleading
squads indicates, friendships with homosexual men can be played off if there is confidence in the
friendship.65 Xavier expressed that he was still very much involved with these friends as he no
longer felt the need to contextualize those friendships for others, nor were others as pointed with
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their expectations and understandings of Xavier. In this way, Xavier’s progression and
development line up well with that of college students.
Unlike Xavier and who shared a developed understanding, one subject was very vocal
about his frustration with the constant reminders that he was tiny or weak. He explained
throughout the interview that it was a painful part of his life that he is reminded of nearly daily as
people, both strangers and friends alike, point it out regularly. This discussion indicated that for
some social circles in college the general themes presented by David and Brannon “1. No Sissy
Stuff, 2. The Big Wheel, 3. The Sturdy Oak, and Give ‘Em Hell!” still weighed heavily on many
men and their perception of masculinity.66 For this subject, the need to appear naturally strong
and in charge pushed him to compensate throughout the conversation.
Though some of our subjects struggled with the question of emasculation, Xavier made a
point that says a lot about the male population as a whole. Xavier said, “Yeah, I’ve definitely
been made fun of for not being masculine enough… that’s always—everyone has been.” While
Xavier may not be able to speak for a whole demographic, his thought says a lot about many of
the reactions I received to questions of emasculation and not being ‘man-enough.’ While some of
the subjects adamantly stated that they had never been emasculated, their body language told a
different story, which only goes to show that part of the performance of masculinity includes not
showing weakness, or in this case not admitting that, at times, their confidence in their
performance was encroached upon. This goes back to the previous studies that found that a
believable portrayal of masculinity came through using confidence to compensate as opposed to
language or behavior.
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Confidence
While confidence was never specifically discussed in the interviews, several of the men
insinuated that their skills or lack thereof were a determinant in their masculinity. Such
suggestions depreciate the authenticity of their gender performance as they force the audience to
question their own perceptions of the men as well as the ideas they have built up around
manliness, their masculinity generalities.
Matt is a prime example of self-confidence based masculinity performance. Toward the
end of his interview he asserted his dominance by proudly stating that, “Most guys, if they want
to hook up with a girl, they have to try, whereas I have to try to not to… because I don’t want
to.” His self-assured display, both towards the interviewer as well as to others, plays right into
the theories presented on the ballet dancers and cheerleaders, who defended their gender
performance simply by being confident in who they are. Later on, he used this method again
when he stated, in regard to emasculation, that “It’s just not really a concern.” While both of
these statements help to present a clear defense against homosexual perceptions the latter
presented a crack. His fault in this response was not what he said but the body language that
accompanied it. When asked to consider the possibility of his peers not considering him ‘man
enough’ the outwardly confident, extroverted individual being interviewed receded into his chair,
swaying slightly from discomfort with the question. In addition, the quick rate at which he
answered this question signaled that the subject was a touchy one which he would like to move
on from. This is indicative that while most individuals wish others to believe their performance,
they themselves may not be quite as sure in their claim, and may not be able to cover up all of
their underlying thoughts and feelings within their performance. Because of this uncertainty,
their performance of masculinity feels less true to the audience. Additionally, the failed attempt
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to cover up their insecurities makes the audience trust the actor less in addition to their
performance.
Several subjects spoke in a manner that caused similar doubts. Harold repeatedly
expressed personal insecurities about his inability to pick up girls as readily as his male
counterparts, which harkens back to the other studies that expressed the importance of casual sex
to social mobility for men which in turn aids in a confident performance of masculinity and
gender identity for college men. Tyler expresses a similar sentiment, when asked about how his
experiences line up to those of his friends. In order to express, what he sees as handicaps, he
builds a metaphor, “Tyler has what we call octagon wheels, like they’ll still turn, but it’s not as
smooth as a circle. So like other people are better at ‘wheeling.’” This little story, which Tyler
returns to throughout the rest of his interview, is his way of showing he feels his gender
performance and ability to pick up women is not as strong as his friends and as such he feels his
friends are more successful in asserting their masculinity performance. Seeing as hooking-up is
built into moving up the social ladder, Tyler’s story shows that he is under the impression he is
farther down on the ladder, which weighs on his confidence. In turn, his audience takes his
masculinity performance as less genuine. Hooking up seems deeply ingrained in confidence in
masculinity performance. For many college men, it is believed to be a key indicator of a man’s
sexuality and skill which is still intertwined in this cohort’s perceptions of masculinity. This
hypersexualization of college social life acts to offset any behaviors of men that could be
indicative of the individual being more effeminate.
Further Research
Over the course of the interviews, several threads wove in and out that have potential for
continued consideration. These themes did not directly relate to the theories and literature
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presented in this paper, and as such they are not pertinent to data analysis. However, the patterns
that ran through multiple interviews warrants a focused study.
One such topic was close, emotionally-deep, female friendships. Several subjects stated
that they have at least one woman in their lives that they feel comfortable conversing with and
knew that women were more open to discussions of their feelings. For example, Xavier spoke of
two close female friendships, one at home and one in college, and explained how their
friendships were more open. Xavier said, “Most of my female friends, uh, seem a little more
understanding and easier to talk to and there isn’t the feeling of the competitive environment
[like with guys].” While he provides this insight into his own life, he indicates that he is not
alone in this thinking, expressing that his impression is that of widespread emotionally deep
friendships between opposite gender individuals. Stating, “Most of the guys I ever talk to or have
known tend to have a way close relationship with at least one other female friend… no matter
what there’s always like a girl—female friend that a guy connects very well with and just openly
shares a lot,” Xavier opens up the theoretical possibility that just as men have their bromances,
people of the opposite sex can fall into that middle ground between just friends, close friends,
and something more. With limited research background on male-female relationships, it is
plausible that these intense bonds help with the continuation of hookup culture, as the emotional
needs of both individuals involved are being fulfilled, while their sexual needs are still unmet.
Seeing as many of these individuals are still seeking a physical connection they are prone to
hooking-up, because there is no need to find an emotional connection with the individual they
are involved with on a physical level. Furthermore, in an era of instant connection with a
hundred other people, there is always the opportunity for something better and by partaking in
casual sex again and again the participants experience more variety.
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Many of the subjects were in agreement that the heavy use of sarcasm aided
communication within their relationships and friendships. There is a strength in being able to
turn any misfortune or insecurity into a joke, as it helps build walls around a person. In addition,
the use of sarcasm opens the door to clear and obvious conversations on a seemingly taboo
subject. By examining further the usage of sarcasm, researchers could look both at
communication in these relationships as well as the handling of difficult subjects in these friends
group.
This research is still very much in a developmental stage, as so many individuals are
looking into similar trends and their results have yet to be brought to a large audience.
Limitations
There are several limitations to the study. First and foremost, due to time constraints the
subject size was especially small, meaning that these theories and hypotheses are at best patterns
seen on a small scale. The theoretical sample’s origin, within just Elmira College, in Elmira NY,
also indicates that the sample pool would be limited by the student population who voluntarily
decided to attend Elmira College. The breadth of the research is also limiting as it does not take
into consideration further factors in the formation of gender identity such as family life and
relationship history.
I, as a woman researching the topic, inherently bring biases and assumptions to the
analysis and study, which become intertwined with the assertions made within the paper.
Because I am a cisgender woman examining male and masculine tendencies, I also must
consider an element of translational loss, as I am an outsider examining a population and will not
and can never fully understand the scope of this population’s actions and thoughts.
Conclusion
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Symbolic interactionism indicates that every person is putting on a performance and as
such are wheeling and dealing in performativity. Some people realize they are performing and
can manipulate others based on their actions. Other individuals remain mostly oblivious to the
performances given throughout life. These performances are a part of just about every aspect of
our lives and as such feel naturalized the majority of the time. However, there is a difference
between an action being natural and an action feeling truthful, which can be seen in gender
performativity.
This is especially important as it relates to masculinity performance for men in college, as
the setting provides them with a space to experiment and explore perceptions as they build
confidence in their performance while attempting to weed out their personal truth. The
developmental course they go through forces them to address this elephant in the room, as they
realize they have some control over others perceptions. This can be difficult to grapple with as
trying to define your authentic self becomes not just an individual search but also a public
display when part of college social life.
The college culture trends make this experience particularly exaggerated as they
encourage students to play on both opposing edges of their gender. This comes in the form of
bromances and hook-up culture playing both with hypersexualization of both males and females
in addition to emotional attachment and aversion. The dichotomous nature of bromances and
hook-ups provide two distinct settings for a multitude of interactions and identity performances.
Identity performance comes down to using each interaction to convince those involved
that the identity and actions of each said individual is genuine and true. This paper shared
evidence indicating the complexities of both the singular and collective performances that allows
college men to develop their own identity expression. However, no matter how much they assert
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Poost: Bromance and Hookup Culture
themselves and act in a manner that would shape the outer world's perceptions, no one has
complete control over how the world sees them and as such no one has the capabilities to fully
shape their identity. Moreover, just as each individual shapes the world and the world’s
perceptions of them, the world shapes the individual's perceptions of themselves. While in
interviews, some subjects put forward that they did not care at the end of the day how the greater
world perceives them, in this way they suggested their identity was not actively shaped by their
audience.
However, identity is a performance, and society shapes each individual more than they
would like to admit or even consider regularly. Admitting this often times is admitting failure in
one’s ability to be in control of their actions. One subject, Tyler, struggles with society’s impact
on his own identity and explains specifically how he handles the suggestion that he might be
‘small’:
I’m a sarcastic person in the sense that like… I’ll try and low-key play on the fact that like a lot of people like call me like tiny... I’ll be sarcastic in the sense and say... “I’m huge. I’m awesome. I’m hot.’... I’ll go along that sense a lot and I’ll be like ‘Yeah, I’m modest,’ *laughs* ... I’m not modest, but like I’m also like being sarcastic when I say all those things because like I hate them so much, so like I’ll say the opposite to be funny, and sarcastic... Cause like, a lot of people have said otherwise, so there’s gotta be truth in that regard too. That’s why I hate it. Umm… but like I’m still like sexy, so. Get it! I’m doing it again. While he went on to joke about it and boost himself by asserting that he was still attractive, he
was clearly impacted by the need to repeatedly offset these statements by asserting his
masculinity. This opens the question of what level of impact public perception has both on an
individual’s understanding of themselves as well as the outer world's perceptions of the
individual. It seems that the repetitive enforcement of public perceptions on an individual forces
them to believe there’s truth to the societal markers, whether they want there to be or not. For
Tyler, the actions he takes to perform his gender come from a wish to have his identity perceived
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as a genuine performance, however he knowingly is forced to realize it is at its core a
performance after all. Tyler’s actions indicate that he wants to be a ‘sincere actor’ as he wishes
his performance was reality, but his need to be perceived as masculine forces him to continually
buy into his own routine and be a ‘cynical actor.’ No person can truly remain oblivious to the
peer pressures of society and its effect on them as social beings.
ENDNOTES
1 Erving Goffman, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, (Edinburgh: University of Edinburgh Social Sciences Research Centre, 1956). 2 Ibid., 10. 3 Ibid. 4 Ibid. 5 Ibid. 6 Ibid., 11. 7 Goffman, The Presentation of Self. 8 Ibid., 13. 9 Ibid., 15 10 Ibid., 10. 11 Ibid., 38. 12 Ibid., 16. 13 Ibid. 14 R.W. Connell, Masculinities (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 2005). 15 Judith Butler, Gender Trouble (London: Routledge, 1990), 25. 16 Butler, Gender Troubles. 17 Michael Kimmel and Amy Aronson, Men & Masculinities: A Social, Cultural, and Historical Encyclopedia (Santa Barbara: ABC-CLIO, 2004). 18 Todd Migliaccio, “Men’s Friendships: Performances of Masculinity.” The Journal of Men’s Studies 17 no. 3 (2009):226. 19 Ibid. 20 Ibid., 228. 21 Ibid., 229. 22 Ibid. 23 Deborah S. David and Robert Brannon, The Forty-Nine Percent Majority: The Male Sex Role (New York: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1976), 18. 24 Michael DeAngelis, Reading the Bromance: Homosocial Relationships in Film and Television (Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 2014), 1. 25 Ibid., 3. 26 Randall B. Ludeman, “Arrested Emotional Development: Connecting College Men, Emotions, and Misconduct.” New Directions for Student Services 107 (2004):79. 27 Migliaccio, “Men’s Friendships.”; David and Brannon, The Forty-Nine Percent Majority.
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28 David and Brannon, The Forty-Nine Percent Majority, 6. 29 Michael D. Kehler, “Hallway Fears and High School Friendships: The Complications of Young Men (Re)negotiating Heterosexualized Identities.” Discourse: Studies in the Cultural Politics of Education 28, no. 2 (2007). 30 Ibid., 273. 31 C.J. Pascoe, Dude, You’re a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School, (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 2007), 96. 32 Sarah Lafleur, “Where Else Could That Ever Happen? The Reproduction of Heteronormative Masculinity on a Catholic College Campus.” Humanity & Society 39, no. 3 (2015). 33 Lynn Blinn-Pike et al., “Emerging Adult Versus Adult Status Among College Students: Examination of Explanatory Variables.” Adolescence 43, no.171 (2008): 588-89. 34 Ludeman, “Arrested Emotional Development,” 79. 35 Blinn-Pike et al., “Emerging Adult Versus Adult Status Among College Students,” 577. 36 David and Brannon, The Forty-Nine Percent Majority, 12. 37 Lafleur, “Where Else Could That Ever Happen?,” 285. 38 Britney G. Brinkman, Anthony Isacco, and Lee A. Rosén, “College Men’s Experiences of Gender Prejudice.” Journal of Men’s Studies. 24, no. 3 (2016). 39 Kehler, “Hallway Fears and High School Friendships,” 262. 40 Kehler, “Hallway Fears and High School Friendships.” 41 Brinkman, Isacco, and Rosén, “College Men’s Experiences.” 42 Ibid., 314. 43 Kehler, “Hallway Fears and High School Friendships.” 44 Trenton M. Haltom and Meredith G. F. Worthen, “Male Ballet Dancers and Their Performances of Heteromasculinity.” Journal of College Student Development 55, no. 8 (2014): 770. 45 Ibid., 767-768. 46 Eric Anderson, “Orthodox and Inclusive Masculinity: Competing Masculinities Among Heterosexual Men in a Feminized Terrain.” Sociological Perspectives 48, no. 3 (2005). 47 Ibid., 345. 48 Anderson, “Orthodox and Inclusive Masculinity.” 49 Ibid., 351. 50 Kehler, “Hallway Fears and High School Friendships.” 51 Haltom and Worthen, “Male Ballet Dancers,” 771. 52 Lafleur, “Where Else Could That Ever Happen?.” 53 Michael Kimmel, Guyland (New York: Harper Collins Publisher, 2008). 54 Ibid. 55 Ibid., 207. 56 Jennifer Katz and Monica E. Schneider, “Casual Hook-up Sex During the First Year of College: Prospective Associations with Attitudes about Sex and Love Relationships.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 42 (2013); Peter K. Jonason, “Four Functions for Four Relationships: Consensus Definitions of University Students.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 42 (2013). 57 DeAngelis, Reading the Bromance. 58 Migliaccio, “Men’s Friendships.” 59 Lafleur, “Where Else Could That Ever Happen?.” 60 Pascoe, Dude, You’re a Fag. 61 David and Brannon, The Forty-Nine Percent Majority.
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62 Ludeman, “Arrested Emotional Development.” 63 Pascoe, Dude, You’re a Fag, 96. 64 Pascoe, Dude, You’re a Fag. 65 Anderson, “Orthodox and Inclusive Masculinity.” 66 David and Brannon, The Forty-Nine Percent Majority, 12.
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