UWM police shoot, kill suspect By David Wise block his exit. Bauschek attempt News Editor ed to drive between the cars and Matthew L Bellehumeur where the UWM officer was stand Assistant News Editor ing. The officer fired seven shots into the vehicle. The 27-year-old A man was shot and killed by officer who fired the shots has a University of Wisconsin- been on the UWM police force Milwaukee police officer last for three years. Monday after an erratic chase "I heard gunshots, and that's "I heard gunshots, and that's really strange, especially in Shorewood, its a relatively quiet community/' —Shorewood resident and UWM student Lesley Edwards that began near UWM and ended really strange, especially in in Shorewood. The driver, Joseph Shorewood, it's a relatively quiet Bauschek, 34, of Greenfield was community," said Edwards. pronounced dead at the scene Shorewood resident Michael shortly before 10 p.m. Mueller said "It is kind of scary, "I was surprised that it that area has a large child popu- occurred practically right outside see POLICE page 3 my front door. Shorewood's a Post photo by Chris Delisle very quiet residential neighbor hood, nothing like this ever hap These marks left on two trees in a quiet Shorewood pens," said Shorewood resident neighborhood are the only evidence that remain at and UWM anthropology student the scene where Joseph Bauschek was shot and killed A University of Lesley Edwards. by a UWM police officer after an erratic chase. Wisconsin-Milwaukee According to Journal Sentinel reports, the pursuit began when police officer shot and UWM Police attempted to stop killed Joseph Bauschek, Bauschek, who's Jeep matched (pictured to left) when the description of one from he attempted to drive which someone was harassing students. through a roadblock Bauschek drove off and hit an where the officer was occupied car. Shorewood police standing. then joined the chase. He con tinued to flee then lost control of the vehicle and hit a tree on the 1900 block of E. Beverly. He then rammed a Shorewood police car. Police positioned two cars to Independent UW System favored by President Lyall By Matthew L. Bellehumeur own direction and make its own fident that it would positively be changing the basic structure Assistant News Editor decisions. This change would affect the University System. of the university." help the UW System defend itself Lyall's ideas are based on sim That idea was echoed by In an attempt to gain more con against budget cuts and other ilar situations that the UW Assembly Speaker John Gard (R- trol over the direction the statewide problems. Hospitals and Clinics were in. The Peshtigb). He told the Journal- University of Wisconsin system, In a Journal-Sentinel interview UW Hospitals and Clinics broke Sentinel "that just is never going UW President Katherine Lyall sug Lyall said, "Depending on the away from state control a few to happen. That would be a gested the UW-System become an depth and permanency of the years ago. It is now run by a 15- tremendous mistake." independent organization and ongoing budget (crisis), restruc member board and is not affect The freedom of a university cease to be under the influence turing may be the only long-term ed by the state budget cuts from state government control is of state government. way to meet principle No. 1 - pre because it makes its own budget. not a new idea. Two Big Ten Lyall suggested Friday that the serving our core mission and The suggestion was immedi schools, the University of UW system should no longer be capacity to serve Wisconsin." ately met with disagreement. Michigan and Penn State, are both under the control of the state, Lyall hasn't given any specifics Doyle spokesman Thad Nation independent organizations that UW President but instead be its own independ on how this departure from the told the Journal-Sentinel "The gov are not under the control of state Katherine LyaH ent organization able to control its state would work, but she is con ernor doesn't believe we should government.
..• •••• •:.••::. . •:•••.• .••• : •• • • •:..••:.•. .•.•:,.•.' .:••..,. ••....••• .. .,:•.....••:•••, .•.:•••••• .• •:••:•:••. ;...•..•....•.,.•...•.:•. ;..••.,.•. . .•. .•..:• ...... ,; • ••: ...••. , ..•.;•.•.•.• 2 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post News
NEWS BRIEFS Post continues tradition of excellence By David Wise wages received by workers who into the assault, safety in the • UWM forum to explore who benefits from failing News Editor picked tomato's used by Taco residence halls and the urban schools: The question of whether there are con Bell. The article ran April 24, resources available to women to stituencies who benefit from a failing urban school district The UWM Post student news 2002. help them protect themselves will be explored at a forum on the University of Wisconsin- paper won two awards for gen Mackenzie Renner, the Post's and seek help. The article ran Milwaukee Campus: On Feb. 26 at the UWM Golda Meir eral reporting at the Wisconsin current editor-in-chief, was in the Feb. 13, 2002 issue of Library's fourth floor conference room, the UWM Department Newspaper Association confer awarded a certificate of merit for the Post. of Multicultural Affairs and the Urban League will host the ence last Friday. her coverage of an attempted forum. The event will include a panel discussion, followed The UWM Post thanks the sexual assault in the Sandburg by responses from a reactor panel and questions from the Staff writer Peter Schmidtke WNA for recognizing the quali residence halls last year. The audience. Admission is $5, but students with school ID are won a second place award for ty work of these writers and for article "UWM community looks free. Reservations are required. To make a reservation please coverage of a student coali their dedicated support of stu for answers after sexual assault call 229-3787. tion's boycott of Taco Bell in his dent and professional journal article "No quiero Taco Bell." The exposes lack of safety in ism in Wisconsin. • Marquette graduate named to space shuttle inves boycott was held to protest low Sandburg," was an in-depth look tigation: Rear Adm. Stephen Turcotte, commander of the Naval Safety Center in Norfolk and a 1975 graduate of MU, has been named to the Interagency Investigation Board Any problem with your PC/Server/Network/Database? investigating the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster. Turcotte www.teahut.com is here for you! grew up in Grand Rapids, Mich, entered the NAVY ROTC at Marquette University, where he graduated with a degree in Political Science in 1975. Turcotte assumed command of the Here is our services and products list: Navy Safety Center in Norfolk in January 2001. The safety 1; PC/Server set-up, repair and trouble- shooting center is in charge of accidental investigations for the Navy. 2. Cable, DSL and emails problem-solving • February is Black History Month: UW-Milwaukee 3. Web-hosting/ Website building celebrates Black History Month with "Rays of Blackness: 4. Virus killing/File back-up Bringing Black Perspectives to Light." Many different events 5. Web sever, mail server and firewall setting-up are planned for the month including "Pure Black" and art 6. Unix/Linux administration exhibition at the Union Gallery. Also planned is "Organizing 7. Database setup (Oracle/MySQL/PostgreSQL) Organizations in Times of Crisis," a workshop on Feb. 17 8. Hardware/software installation and upgrade from noon until 2 p.m. in the Union, room 240. On Feb. 20 9. Software training from noon until 2 p.m. in the Alumni Fireside Lounge a pan el discussion entitled "Quilting the Black-Eyed Peas" will take Special rates for college students! place. Sandra E. Jones, Assistant Director/Cultures and Communities will be the moderator and a speaker. On Feb.. For more information, please visit www.teahut.com or call 414-456-9034. 25, an event entitled "Cosmic tales of the Orisha" is sched uled in the Alumni Fireside Lounge from 12:30 p.m. to 2 p.m. • Bite marks found on murder victim: The man sus Most students are making healthy choices. pected of murdering Emily Willegal while attempting to rob her was ordered to provide teeth impressions to match with bite marks found on Willegal's body. Milwaukee County Circuit Judge John Franke ordered Kimani K. Ward to provide the impression on Thursday. Kimani K. Ward is charged with first-degree intentional homicide, armed robbery and first- degree sexual assault in Willegal's death. Willegal's body was found brutally beaten in an alley on the 2400 block of North 1st Street. —compiled by Matthew L. Bellehumeur, Assistant News Editor
>*« Iter*
The ^fffm UWM Post
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Stop in our offices at Union EG80 Bring your story ideas! • tthe'O'" 1 drink = 12 oz. beer = 4 oz. wine = 1 oz. liquor Wf* ii_» M A j? i "axcc' on ^ata co'lfctcd to a Spring 2001 survey of randomly selected UWM students. Conducted by • wldS Education Development Center in conjunction with Norris Health Center and the Healthy Choices Initiative.
The UWM Post Staff News & Editorial Business & Advertising staff Writers SHIPPING ADDRESS 2200 Kenwood Blvd. Editor-in-Chief Mackenzie Renner Business Manager.... Nick Viall Ali Austin'Jennifer Bertram'David B,ischke' Suite EG80 .. p ... _ . , .... Nicholas Bragg, Brittany Candell, Nick Geiger, Milwaukee, Wl 53211 News bditor David Wise Account Executives . . . Krista Gilson Jordan Goldstein, Paul Griffith, jenny Jacobson, Assistant News Editor Matthew Bellehumeur ,JU Br0g|ey Kristin R. Kranendonk, Aiiie Kuopus, Krista MAILING ADDRESS Features Editor . Charles Engel Jennv Rife Ledbetter, John L Medina, Drew Morton, Katherine Nilles Brian Union Box 88 Arts & Entertainment Editor. . Diego Costa < O'Shea, Mitch Rea, Brian Resop, Dustin UWM PO Box 413 SDorts Editor Nick Dettmann Advertising Designer. . Pat Harrington safranek, Peter schmidtke, sarasommer, Carrie Milwaukee, Wl 53201 _ ,. . . ,_ ,. ' . , r, , r n.- .. . . r. Toman, Sam Toman, Allison Varlerga, Nor Vang, Editorial Editor Damian Roth Board of Directors . . . .Mackenzie Renner , han waiiin, Brian Williamson Valerie vidal Nat Phone: (414) 229-4578 Production Editor Tim Zwettler Jill Brogley Drew wintermyer Photo Editor Dustin Safranek Krista Gilson „ DK_+_____K_r- Fax: (414) 229-4579 Web Designer /Tech Support... Charles Engel Nick Viall btaTT ™>iograpners Delivery Nick Viall Tim Zwettler Dustin Safranek'John L Ward'chr,s Del,sle The UWM Post has a circulation of 7,000 and is distributed on campus and throughout the surrounding communities. One copy free, additional copies $.75 each. The UWM Post, Inc. is a registered student organization at the University of Wisconsin- Member of: Milwaukee and an independent nonstock corporation. All submissions become the property of The UWM Post, Inc. Published Wednesdays during the fall and spring semesters, and at the beginning of each summer session, except for holidays and exam periods. 3 The UWM Post is written and published by the students of UWM. They are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. UWM is not liable for debts incurred by the publisher. The UWM Post js not an official publication of UWM. U-WIRE El »y»vw.uwi«i.coM News www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 3
Students pressure POLICE CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 lation and there are four ele or others." went off while he was attempt mentary schools in that area." Officers who use deadly force ing to change the ammunition Sprint to Two officers, the one who fired are placed on administrative clip while sitting on the toilet. recycle the shots and another, were leave and an internal and crimi The bullet went through the door placed on administrative leave nal investigation is initiated. The and struck a sink. Nearly 20 years By David Wise BP Amoco has been targeted due after the incident, which is stan- officer is required to give a blood ago a UWM police officer who was News Editor to the company's plan to drill reportedly twirling a gun he for oil off the coast of the Arctic "It is kind of scary, that area has a large child brought from home shot himself As part of a nationwide cam National Wildlife Refuge. in the leg. He was later fired. paign to encourage companies In their Coca Cola campaign population and there are four elementary Despite considerable debate to take positive action towards the group sent empty bottles schools in that area." over whether campus police conserving natural resources, to Coke with new labels that should carry guns, 11 out of 13 University of Wisconsin- demanded the company use —Shorewood resident Michael Mueller UW campus police departments Milwaukee students sent 157 more recycled materials. Eco are authorized to carry firearms. letters last Thursday to Sprint . Pledge has decided not to boy dard procedure for officers or urine sample to be analyzed UWM Chancellor Nancy asking the company to issue its cott Coke because they are now involved in shootings. for evidence of alcohol or drug Zimpher said "UW-Milwaukee wel cellular phone serv using 10 per UWM police policy states that use. comes a full and open investiga ice bills on recycled cent recycled "personnel use only the minimum The UWM police force has tion of this incident; we remain paper. plastic and are amount of force reasonable and been in existence for 32 years. committed to ensuring a safe and The campaign is working to necessary to arrest, apprehend or This is the first time a UWM police secure environment for our cam part of an effort increase that restrain" suspects. officer intentionally fired a pus." started by Eco percentage. A Deadly force "shall never be weapon on duty. Pledge, an organi similar cam resorted to until every other But, according to a September zation that targets leading com paign directed at Pepsi contin means of apprehension or 2002 Shepard Express article by panies in various industries and ues because, with the excep defense has been exhausted," and Steven Potter, guns have been pressures them to make small tion of Pepsi's "Gatorade" brand, only when the officer "reasonably accidentally discharged by UWM changes to improve the envi the company uses no recycled believes that such force is nec police officers on two occasions. ronment. plastic in its bottles. essary to prevent imminent death The most recent was 10 years ago Although Sprint already Eco pledge, in coordination or great bodily harm to himself when UWM police officer's gun issues its long distance bills on with other environmental recycled paper it doesn't do groups, has had success con the same for its cellular bills. vincing the office supply com In a letter to Eco Pledge organ pany Staples to stop using wood Are you a Gay Male and in a new izer Mark Lowenthal, Sprint rep from old-growth forests in the resentatives said it would be too manufacture of its paper prod relationship? Tell us about it...and expensive to do so. They said ucts and other office supplies. Sprint is exploring other options In addition to letter-writing to reduce paper use for its cel campaigns, Eco Pledge members lular service. These include boycott some target companies, sending customers shorter refusing to buy their products "summary" bills instead of the and pledging not to work for the bills that detail each call and companies until they change making customers aware of their policies. online account management "This tactic has been a very options. Because Sprint has not effective means of getting atten agreed to change its policy Eco tion. If you got hundreds or Pledge is continuing its cam thousands of letters in your paign. office from people that said The effort on the UWM cam they won't buy or work for you pus was organized by Erica until you make the simple Ness, Eco Pledge coordinator for change, you would probably the Wisconsin Student Public take it pretty seriously," said Interest Research Group Ness. We're looking for couples ages 18 to 35 (Wispirg), a non-partisan stu "We will be collecting eco dent organization that tackles pledges all semester ... our goal who are in a new relationship and willing environmental, consumer, and nationwide for this is 15,000 hunger and homelessness this semester," said Ness. to participate in three individual interview's. issues. Ness said the 157 letters sent BOTH PARTNERS MUST PARTICIPATE IN ORDER Some companies targeted from UWM during the Sprint day by Eco Pledge include Dell, Coca of action was about the same TO EARN CASH. Cola, Pepsi, and BP Amoco. Eco amount that students from oth Pledge wants Dell to start a "take er Midwest schools have sent back" program for obsolete Dell to Sprint. computers so they are recycled For more information on or disposed of properly. They've Wispirg's Eco Pledge campaign LEARN MORE! CM14S6-7781 asked Coca Cola and Pepsi to call (414) 229-4875. To learn increase the use of recycled more about Eco Pledge visit materials in their plastic bottles. www.ecopledge.com. A research project of the Center for AIDS Intervention Research (CA1R). <&&&& Medical College of Wisconsin. For more information- can 456-/700, CAMPUS VIEWS How effective are the UWM police in keeping the campus safe?
"I feel pretty safe. "I noticed a lot of security "I have always disagreed "They could do a better "On weeknights I see the I haven't been shot, on campus last year. with them having guns. job. There are many dealers police around every 10-20 anyway." I haven't seen a lot of That is just nuts." and people running around minutes. I feel safe. On drunk. That is not very weekends there is always a security around lately." Joe Alvarado Dave Kriesel safe." police officer at the Adam Himebauch Katie Slowey dorms." Erica Lightle m
4 February 12,2003 The UWM Post Features SOS: Save Our Saad get into a real UWM alumnus searches for asylum from United States government greek week! .Is. ** :.: By Krista Ledbetter ical asylum, which Staff Writer so far has required proof that he was Whether it's walking down the gay as well as proof familiar halls of the Union at the that he would be University of Wisconsin- harmed if returned Milwaukee or helping a friend to Pakistan. His legal pick out a kitten at the Humane fees have already Society, Saad Akbar Kahn is "our exceeded $10,000. ray of sunshine," one friend I met Saad for the described. first time while he Kahn is an alumnus of UWM, was cheerfully visit with a degree in International ing with old friends Studies, as well as a former writer and co-workers at and technology support person the Post's office in for the UWM Post. He has a face the Union. I was and a smile that won't slip from astonished and your mind when he walks away. inspired by the con So why is the United States gov tagious positive atti ernment working so adamantly tude he emitted, to make him leave the country? considering his cur >the ultimate vacation!youriatesttoga What people probably won't rent situation. But party can't compete with our version of "rush week." join tell you right off the bat is that this radiance is the our group as you see the famous sights and gather with the Saad Akbar Khan is a Muslim. Not result of tremen real greeks! only is he Muslim, but he is also dous love and sup openly gay. What's the problem port from his peers. >aegean classic cruise ? days from $479 with this? Unless you live in Around Christ >spatligr*t on greece ri days from $995 Pakistan or are a member of the mastime, shortly United States government, most after he was >greek island hopping 14 days from $1049 likely there is nothing wrong. informed of his visa >l©rtd©n to athems 19 daysfrom $1539 But apparently in Saad's case, denial, concerned • person, (and on -'i3ilaO!::ty. there's an exception. friends brain- A native from Pakistan, Saad stormed ideas on >vacaiions include: accommodations, transportation was the son of a diplomatic father how they might help many meals and as much fun as you can handle! and grew up all around the world, out Saad. Upon real living in Pakistan for about two izing that they knew years. He came to the United a ton of people with Submitted photo your travel agent States on a student visa, which talent, such as Tae Saad Akbar Khan toll-free 1-888-CONTiKI allowed him to stay in America Kwon Do experi i www.contiki.com as long as he was a full-time stu ence, they came up in a fundraising event," Andrea dent. After graduation from UWM with the idea for a silent auction explained. After describing the in 2001, he was allowed optical as a fundraiser for Saad. They event to the secretary, it turned practical training (OPT), which named it S.O.S., or "Save Our out that another dentist in the gave Saad the opportunity to Saad." practice also did work for the apply his educational knowledge The auction, being held on Aids Resource Center of to a job for a period of 12 Wednesday, Feb. 12 at 6:30 p.m., Wisconsin and had once donat months. is auctioning off goods and serv ed a $400 cosmetic bleaching Saad received a job at the ices, including everything from for an event. "I was told that more Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgend Tae Kwon Do classes, income tax than likely he would offer to do er (LGBT) Community Center in service and beauty gift certifi it again. It's great that so many Milwaukee, where he currently cates to DVD players. people are willing to help out." works as their Outvote Organizer. Daniel Klingler organizes "The Most appreciative of the over This position gives Saad the Vagina Monologues," which will whelming support is Saad. This chance to get the vote out in be performed on campus Feb. pulling together of supporters is Wisconsin's LGBT community. 13 and 14. In an attempt to raise what gives him the ability to sit He does so by educating voters money for Saad's cause, Klingler with me at a smoky booth in the on how and where to vote as asked the women in the play if Gasthaus, talking and relaxing, well as providing guides for they'd be willing to hold a dress even being able to laugh, issue-based education on candi performance on Feb. 12, follow although his situation would dates. But Saad's OPT expired on ing the silent auction. The idea cause someone with a much Oct. 4, which is where his prob was agreed upon. Although the weaker persona to crumble. He lem began. event is free, donations of any hopes that people will realize Following a normal procedure amount are welcome and would the positive outcome that has of applying for a work visa that go to support Saad. come of his situation. would allow Saad to continue In just a few weeks Saad's sto "I'm in trouble with the law living in America while main ry has spread tremendously. here for being Muslim, and I'll be taining a job, he assumed every Flyers in support of S.O.S.'s silent in trouble with the law if I return thing would fall into place as it auction and "The Vagina to Pakistan for being gay," Saad had for many others. But a work Monologues" performance have says. "It's like if they were to visa requires that a person's occu been circulating rapidly. Emails suddenly make it illegal to be a pation is that of a professional from across the nation have woman. You think to yourself, level, needing greater knowledge, streamed in, all addressing con what did I do? What can I do? You specialized training or at least a cern for Saad, as well as for can't help it." bachelor's degree. Saad's position Muslims across U.S. facing the Saad's currently trapped in a at LGBT, although crucial and same problem. no-win situation with the laws of accomplished, doesn't meet Donations for the auction have both countries, in which we all those standards in the govern been offered from every corner, hope he prevails, but in the ment's eyes and his application even from people who've never meantime the constant support was denied in mid-December; personally met Saad. Andrea, a keeps him strong and his kind- hence the reason our government friend who's been behind the hearted attitude keeps the sup wants to deport him. inner workings of the silent auc port pouring in. He proves to be Which in itself lays another tion, actually received an offer that sunshine in the lives of those major problem: homosexuality while visiting the dentist. Cir who know him. As Andrea put is illegal in Pakistan. If sent back cumstances forced her to best near the end of a conversa we're on the web: to Pakistan, this "offense" would reschedule the appointment and tion I had with her, "Saad is a result in imprisonment and, in Feb. 12 was her first option. "I prime example of you reap what extreme cases, execution. told them I couldn't schedule for you sell." www.uwmpost.com Saad is currently seeking polit-. that day because I was involved Features www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 5
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Gat- otfet per memta pet day. Management rcsaves the Mght te change or cancel this prow-stii wvvw,sta t ravei.com TRAVEL any time without fioticf Valid cmiy atPfitswgtcmi Bingo Casino, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This slier valid January 13.21.29; Febmary 3,11.15 and March X 11, 19.' istc Promotion Code: 646002 oitLine on THE PHone Ofl CftlTtPU/ » Oft THE /TREET 6 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Features Vv c to listen... -/: a woman to discover she is feeling feelings go away. fo woman her options.,, not to decide what SnC should do. We are here tc discover can help herself.,. Your guide to the bars of the Brew City. We are here to provide support Ibi change UN rVRRSITVbf WISCONSIN IWM5LWAUKEE Sorry kids, no bar review this time. My weekly drinking WOMEN'S RESOURCE CENTER quota was met this past week in the form of a hotel party University of Wl, Milwaukee • Union WG93 • 414-229-2852 with fellow editors, rendering myself unable to even think of taking a sip of the suds for a while. Where's the fun in UNIVERSITY OF VVlSC'ONiSINS writing a bar review if I'm not going to be truly partaking In the fun? I'd feel like a tourist! I promise next week a tradi PLATTEV'J'LLE tional review will happen. Study Abroad! Programs "One of tine "Top 25** in The Student's Cittuie u> the Hesi Study Ahrcxui f*rograjtts If it's too loud, does that mean I'm too old? By Chuck Engel are two exceptions to the loud Features Editor music rule, because they are separate from a typical bar expe When I'm going out to a bar, rience. Drinking is not a factor the last thing I want to do is shout in whether or not I go to a con to my friends above loud pre cert. When I go to a concert, I recorded music. Furthermore, go to see the bands and enjoy the Learn Your Way Around The World what is the fun of going some music. Often times, I will express • Study abroad in ISngland, Italy, Japan, or Spain* where public to stare at a televi my enjoyment for the music by * Courses in. liberal arts and international business sion? dancing. Sometimes I'll even go * Fluency in a iforei$*n language not required To me, bars are about social to a dance club with friends. And • rio.me~st.ays with, meals dancing, although it does not * Field trips izing. I go out to see friends, • Financial aid applies (except for summer session) meet people and have conversa involve speaking, is highly social tions. Pool tables, darts, foos- and fun. Program Oosts: ball and other activities that A bar needs to have a certain Por (union, room, partial board and field trips per semester (for encourage socializing can add a personality, and that goes for W i scon s i n res ide n t s/n on -residents) dance clubs too. I like bars that • In London, England: $6,295/$6,595 represent their owners' tastes, * In Rome, Italy: $8,695/$8„995 Alcohol although rather than aim to a kind of mar • In Nagasaki, Japan: $5,995/$6,295 ket. The quickest way to figure • In Seville, Spain: $7,695/$7,995 categorized as a out what kind of person owns a bar is to look at the selections in Application deadlines: the jukebox. * April I for summer session * April 3D for fall semester depressant, is quite • October 15 tor spring semester Places like the Landmark, how a social drug. ever, go out of their way to cater Toll free: .1 -800-342-1725 so broadly that all sense of what K~oia.il: Studv Abroad<§?u wplatt.ed o kind of person owns the place is Web: www.wwplint.edu/~studyaln-oad lot to a bar, so long as one can lost in the ambiguity. With that have an audible discussion with , said, I'd rather find the dingiest the people they're playing with. West Allis bar and sit there for a Going into a bar that's draw is drink while I take in the atmos Change the World of Healthcare....Become a watching television is no fun phere than pay a cover to be either. Ever walk into a bar with around "cool" people at a sterile all the patrons lined up at the bar, place like Park Bar. staring at a single television in Drinking should be kept as a JBL_*iP ^JP ^L^ Wu%Jw ML tandem? I sometimes wonder if - social practice. Alcohol, although of those people are breathing. categorized as a depressant, is If I want to listen to loud quite a social drug. Factor in too music or watch television while many socio-defeating distrac enjoying an adult beverage, I'll tions, and it becomes a really Chiropractic save myself the money and sit depressing depressant. The loud at home with, a beer. That way, er the music is in our public I can listen to or watch whatev drinking facilities, the more our er I want, and I don't have to society needs other drugs, like Help People worry about how to get home ecstasy. Say no to drugs, and Gain the skills to assist your patients to achieve after a few drinks. keep people off of drugs by turn and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Dance clubs and live concerts ing down the music. Income Earn a substantial salary commensurate with your position as a Doctor of Chiropractic. Be Your Own Boss Most Doctors of Chiropractic are in private practice working an average of 40 hours per week. Become a Doctor The Prestige, respect and expanded leadership UWM opportunities are available as a Doctor of Post Chiropractic. is now looking for Call Logan College of Chiropractic today to change the world of healthcare! Features Writers 1-800-533-9210 Stop in our offices at Union EG80 vsAww.logan.edu Bring your story ideas! [email protected] CoIlege^of^Chiropractic 1851 Schoettler Rci Chesterfield- MO 63006 Features www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 7 Disclaimer: The following is a sordid, candid, stranded and disbanded no-holds-barred disser tation on what it means to be the guy who braves rain, snow, sleet, really bright sunshine that glares off the dirty windshield If you don't wash it, and the most haunting Milwaukee ghetto, to satisfy you, the UWM Post reader, and your late-night munchies, Now read on, if you dare, and taste the greasy pool of cheese that Is... CONFESSIONS PIZZA BOY By Nato Disgusting Hotel delivery: the one where that everyone reading this has Staff Writer somebody orders, you take the had a similar experience at least food up to the room, you knock, once in their life. That's right, I am The Pizza no answer, you knock again, no Really? No? I guess Valentine's Boy. Nobody comes close. No answer, you knock and say "ANY Day isn't all that it's cracked up body else can compete. I am the ONE IN THERE?," you hear, "just to be after all. I mean, consider one with the highest delivery a moment!" and soon you're treat the following tale of woe: quantity at the end of the work ed to the site of a grossly over ing day. I am the one who knows weight and flabby "Tattoo Guy" Depression where Glover Street is and why answering the door while a hid it was named as such. I am the den female bleats, "Where's my I was cruising around in my ivory-white Ford Escort Station Wagon, bringing the city of I am here to explain to you why this job is not Milwaukee the quantities of greasy people-filler that's re HAPPY Mon-Fri only a crazy detour off of the "1-94 of your quired these days, when lo and Straight Life" onto some kind of twisty behold I should make a delivery HOUR 5pm-8pm to one of the most depressing switchback of a "US-41 Deviant Way." people in the history of the uni verse. A potato dumpling of a 1132 E. Wright 40-something woman- is on the one who never forgets YOUR two- shake?" and "Tattoo Guy" throws 414-562-0219 liter of orange soda. And I am phone, and after several min the cost of the meal plus change utes of attempts, she barely here to explain to you why this plus a $5 bill at you so that you'll job is not only a crazy detour off answers her apartment buzzer just...for...the...love...of...god... to let me up to bring her the NIGHTLY SPECIALS of the "1-94 of your Straight Life" LEAVE. onto some kind of twisty switch Hey, all you lonely hearts, I fried fracas :^mmmmimm MONDAY back of a "US-41 Deviant Way," but hate to say it, but some people I say to her, "Hello, it'll be also to tell you some of the great are only getting their kicks on $12.15." And she says, "...," $2 PintIriss of Murphy'h s Mondayf Any Irish sWhiske y because she isn't talking to me, rits of Murphy's • $2 Shots of Any Irish Whi est and stupidest stories of my Valentine's Day. In the immortal TUESDAY many years working for a local words of Sam and Dave, "don't she's on the phone. Pizza-slash-Fried Etcetera deliv knock it until you've tried it." It's While she handles the pay ery establishment. worth $5+ to me, at least. ment for pizza-food, handing $12 Buckets of Micros Well, where to begin? I mean, me $13 (not much of a tip, real WEDNESDAY I haven't written anything for this Coitus-lnterruptus ly) she says into the phone, as rag since it was stopping the she simultaneously sobs and acts $1.50 Night $1.50 + Rails & Miller Bottles moonlight flow of a previous I have a coworker whom I will the cheapskate, "...it's just that no THURSDAY editor—where can I possibly refer to Jon. One fine Valentine's man could ever find me attrac approach the angle of "Hey, Nato, Day, Jon was privy to one of the tive and be in love with me!" MILWAUKEE PITCHER NIGHT greatest moments in the life of a Look, reader. This is what we, write about funny and scary piz $4.50 Pitchers of MGD & Lite za delivery experiences for the Pizza Boy: a coitus-interruptus the delivery folks, have to deal delivery. That's right; Jon had $5.50 Pitchers of Select Local Micros UWM Post" at this point in my FRIDAY life? his order placed by a couple of humans who had no idea that the I work every Featured Tap & Micro Selection $2.00 St. Valentine pizza place would have their order ready, steady, going and Valentine's Day, Pool • Darts • Drink Specials • Kickass Jukebox!!! Oh, right, VALENTINE'S DAY. arriving during the random num It's right around the bend, ber of minutes during which male on purpose. you little lovebirds. Uncle Pappy and female would be doing the Nato is here to tell you, you're not "Mystery Dance." with: The bitter end of human alone. Many people in the city of Jon knocked on the hotel door, depression. The edge of gray. Milwaukee are out there, having and was told to, "just open the The hopeless, loveless their own Valentine's Day cele door and come in." So he did, and Valentine's Day of the brations, and requiring some to his surprise, he found a cou damned. Bleak, flatland, brown, wacky delivery of fried food late ple performing "The Baby-Maker." waste plains. The people who at night to facilitate, I don't know, Startled and apprehensive, Jon can't leave, who must order out. small talk? How exactly does a began to back away, but the male Granted, based on that which Philly Cheesesteak do that? Does of the species grunted, "The mon you've just read, perhaps you feel it even matter? I work every ey's on the table. Just bring the that we deserve a couple slugs Valentine's Day, on purpose. I've food in and take the money!" to the skull. And that's forgiv been there, man, I know. Ok then. A sizeable tip was able—I'm not here to throw cha I work every Valentine's Day included, therefore Jon was quite grin around like a hot potato. (unless it falls upon a weekend; alright with the state of affairs, I'm just saying, the Pizza obviously, I got better things to and quickly made the transac Delivery Boy, he delivers to peo do on weekends than work). I've tion. ple other than you. Don't worry, done the classic 23rd Floor Pfister Ah, Valentine's Day, I'm sure but don't forget! [heart land] As one of the Midwest's largest natural, foods co-ops, Outpost: A drunk driver ruined something precious. Amber Apodaca. 5170 S. 27th Street sells more than just; great food. We offer whole foods as part Milwaukee Wl, 53215 Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk. Anh Chau of a healthy diet that you can really get your hands around. Phone: 414-584-0570 Oriental Market Inc. So shop Outpost for fulfilling meal'.; in the heart of winter! • Milwaukees finest selection HPF' •Low Prices, Quality Products & Services (0)(l5T[P>®§!T ' f m •Open 7 days a week VyNATURAL FOODS © 7000 W. State St. Wauwatosa • 100 E. Capitol Or, Niiwaukee U 5.04pm irnwrt frf TwWfWiiMMR Open Daily 8am to 9pm «(414)778-2012 • (414)961-2597 • www.outpostnaturalfoods.coop 8 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Arts & Entertainment Pussy Control Technicolor existence I have something to confess. you introverted and atrophies A documentary I made last year your spirit. I knew this situation UWM students to perform "The Vagina got in a Black History Film didn't happen to me ail the time, Festival and I was invited to but I knew it was hard for a lot the screening. I left early from of people to face an America Monologues" at the Zelazo Center one of my classes so I could that is colorblind in paper but make it to the show. When I got full of name-calling bigotry By Diego Costa "feminist show" not as a contra One might suggest our culture is to the movie theatre, I realized behind closed doors, or two feet diction, but as a privilege. desensitized around issues of sex Arts & Entertainment Editor what I had already been pon behind your back. "It's very humbling for me to and gender and sexuality because dering inside my head; every Right before my film start have been trusted by these of our media, MTV, movies... Apparently February is Vagina one was black and I wasn't. ed, I was supposed to go up women," Klinger says, "In fact, However, every year we put on month at the University of Waiting in line I felt the same there and present it. How could they refer to me as their humble the show we have over-doubled Wisconsin-Milwaukee. On Feb. 1, I have dared to submit my film penis." the amount of people. People the "Drag Ball" celebrated female to an African-American festival? In 2000, the producers expect are still curious about it and impersonators and over the top Hadn't I stolen someone else's ed an audience of 300 people. exploring these issues. women-wannabes. On Feb. 11 a&e chance? Someone who actually The estimate was beautifully a»tji|rj|jiji|j| i^k .... ,7 there was the Menstruation belonged, who actually spoke incorrect; 600 people showed up. Oj Would you want to have a Workshop, and the Valentine's for his/her people, could have Dance for Womyn is coming up Last year, they estimated 700 vagina yourself? A: Yes, of course. I'd love to B7 won instead of me. As these on Feb. 15. people and to their surprise, have one, because the vagina %riBwwiiin questions flooded my head like "The Vagina Monologues" is 1,400 vagina enthusiasts has 2,000 more nerve endings a whirlpool of self-corroding the latest female empowerment crammed in the Wisconsin Room than the penis! Wouldn't you? crap, I sat there with my $8.50 happening at UWM. The per trying to watch the performance. That's double ther pieasurel small popcorrr handy-and I did • formances will take place at the This year, there will be enough not move. I remained silent Zelazo Theatre (2419 E. Kenwood vaginas for everyone. "The Vagina Oj No, thanks, I'll pass. The; and utterly embarrassed until Bvld.—across from UWM Student Monologues" will be performed women in the show ask the audi they said: "He is not here, let's Union), on Feb. 13 and 14, three times and Klinger expects ence these three questions: If you start the movie!" Thursday and Friday, at 8 p.m. a full house every night. That had a vagina what would it say? I was, then, relieved and even means over 2,400 people total. Thfs is the third time "The What would it wear? And what more embarrassed, for having Here are excerpts from an inter Vagina Monologues" is put up at would it smell like? Would you been so embarrassed. Wasn't I UWM. The event is produced by view with Mr. Humble Penis: mind answering them? by diego costa being racist by assuming black the UWM College Feminists, the A: It would probably say "I people felt like shit just because National Organization of Women Oj Are vaginas still taboo, even need a break." It would wear noth sensation I did when walking they had to deal with a white and the Women's Resource Center on college campuses? ing. And it would have a cinna through a predominantly world? Wasn't I the one who had at UWM. A: I really don't think so. There is still are a lot of misconceived mon spice, it reminds me of African-American mall in The cast of 24 women has a notions around the vagina Xmas. Cleveland, Ohio. "They have to myriad of different colors, Wasn't I a bigot by though; fear around sex, gender, go through this everyday," was careers, sexual orientations and Oj Has there been any sort of sexual freedom. Our culture, like all I could think of. Eventually, ages. Women of color, lesbians, repression or censorship coming assuming it was OK our republican president, still I'd think you'd get used to it, to bisexual women, raging from from anyone regarding the event? supports traditional values. A: No. not looking like most people to be a victim of age 16 to 60 will give life to a around you do. ground-breaking, hilarious text Oj Do a lot of women still Oj Really? Race is a subject that is con bigotry simply that has been created a lot of not take the time to get to know A: Not at all. buzz, criticism and controversy fusing for me because mine is their vaginas? Why? a pastiche mess. I may look because] was not all over the world. A: You are asking a man this? Oj There doesn't seem to be a The three narrators of this "Penis Monologues," or an "Anus white, though I am not white. I I really can't speak for women. I am Latino, I guess; my grand one of them? year's UWM performance are L.G. can give you the number of a Monologues." How come? Shenklin-Flowers, a diversity A: There are! Men overexer- parents are from Portugal and woman to call... I'm not gonna Lebanon, and I was born and no tolerance assuming it was speaker, Kris Redish, an author make assumptions. I do believe cize their power over women. Women are so much more beau raised in Brazil. not OK to go up there and be and journalist, and Elane Moly, that there are a lot of pre-con- white/look white? Didn't I think director of the Women's Fund. tiful, strong in ways men can't be. And for years, I seem to have ceived notions about vaginas, decided to bleach out the aes they may face it normally, with Based on interviews with a They know that if they created a otherwise the monologues thetic realness of my race (more none of my silly hang ups? diverse group of women, "The penis monologues, women would wouldn't have been created. for personal reasons than a Wasn't I a bigot by assuming it Vagina Monologues" hilariously attack them. (But) there is "The There are women who are very political statement) by bleach was OK to be a victim of big explores the humor, pain, wis puppetry of the penis," which accepting of themselves and ing my hair twice a month, otry simply because I was not dom, and mystery hidden in vagi takes the penis and twists it and strong and courageous, but a lot wearing blue contacts twice a one of them? Didn't I victimize nas. The interesting fact behind makes it look like a dragon, using of women have been victimized week and talking as if I didn't my own selfish fears? Hadn't the UWM production is that the the penis as a puppet. because of their gender. have an accent. Sometimes, it cinema, if anything, taught me director of the show is a man. For more information on "The the essence of tolerance by any Daniel Klinger has been direct Oj What's the importance of the text today, 2003, when talk Vagina Monologues" call 229- chance? ing "The Vagina Monologues" 2852. Doors will open at 7 p.m. Race is a subject So the film started and I since it was first performed at the ing about sex and private parts doesn't seem to shock people as There will be sign interpreters. watched it from the back of the UWM Wisconsin Room in 2000. Admission is free, and donations that is confusing for theatre, hoping it would be over He describes the experience as much? I mean, sex is everywhere, whether they bleep it out or not. will go to local women's organi soon and feeling like a culture "total vagina immersion." Klinger zations. me because mine is thief hiding from the Marcus sees the fact that a guy directs a A: It ("The Vagina Monologues") speaks for itself. a pastiche mess. Theatre's police squad. Before the credits I left that room, opened the theatre's door and Name: Daniel Klinger Favorite Food: Metabolite feels like I am an old black & was back into the real world, Age:!! Favorite Drink: Pineapple & white film that some Hollywood where I felt smaller and invisi Occupation: Gay outreach MaljbuRum studio decided to Technicolor, ble, because I blended with the manager AIDS Resource Favorite thing about UWM: ruining all of its original pur boring frivolity of our faces, Center of Wisconsin The Asian Wrap in the pose and beauty. But mostly, it because I looked similar and usual and pale and suburban; Zoodiac sign: Taurus food court just feels good, if I don't look for the roots of my desires. another Adam Sandier-loving, Status: Single and taking Least favoring thing about UWM: The limited parking In that movie theatre, when dumb-as-fuck, shallow mallrat. resumes I was confronted with a situa And I thought of a lesson I Favorite film: Favorite place at UWM: tion I usually am allowed to learned from a Bolton Hall bath Gasthaus "Steel Magnolias" avoid by the way I look, not by room stall, from all places. A Least favorite film:" Battlefield Favorite place in Milwaukee: the way I truly am, I felt nau couple weeks ago, among the Earth" with John Travolta Blu in the Pfister Hotel, it's seous. I could almost feel the cruising ads and racist remarks a great place for a date Favorite Book: weight of years and years of that littered the stall, I found a "Harry Potter" I to IV Favorite thing about sickening discrimination (and sentence that caught my atten Milwaukee: The Art Museum subtle, polite racism - perhaps tion. Somebody had written the worst kind) on my very own "Tolerance" in whiteout. Right shoulders. beside that word another per And I walked in and there son wrote "You want tolerance were about two white people because that means a tolerance inside; the manager and my in a white world. The tolerance The UWM Post boyfriend. I love black people of the majority. How would you and I love black music and I love feel if tolerance meant all black culture (possibly the only churches being Catholic, all The independent campus one America's got) and I love faces being black, Spanish being black everything. Still, there is the official language and you weekly newspaper of UWM something about being the only being arrested for being white one in a given space that makes on a Friday night?" Arts & Entertainment www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 9 COLUMN Logical thinking human Featured poet: Verity Fossette Half a Century Half a century to find Half a century LaW beings vs. Assholes Half a century to smile To kill Half a century to laugh To conquer Since school started a few shoulders. Now, I could be wrong, Half a century to give way The demons that nest weeks ago, I've had this inner but I feel as though this is an all To that which is inside you In the death of you mind Forum angst that's been building up, so right assumption to make. At this free event, you'll meet I thought I would unload it out So, from that, one could then Half a century to love Half a century of fiction with admissions officers and on you. The thing is; I am 22 assume that these logical beings Half a century to cry Half a century of fables gain invaluable admissions filled with common sense Half a century to give way Half a century and career information at a would also be courteous and To the demons that nest Of myth and mythology panel discussion. respectful, right? So, why In the hollows of your mind Of worship and belief rd am I surrounded by ass In the living and breathing... Sunday, February 23 holes? Why is it that when I Half a century of life UW-Milwaukee try to walk in the union, I Lost Half a century of wonder In an effort to find 1:00 p.m. am almost bumped into like Half a century to journey A small piece Through chaos; catastrophe Space is limited. Register today! 30 times? And why is it that Of peace of mind Before you can enter the unseen I constantly get stared down like I am walking in on some Half a century Half a century of doubt KAPLAN one's shower? And why is it To give way to Half a century to see past her that people think the cell The laws that govern Half a century to recognize 1-800-KAP-TEST years old, and I assume that most phone walk with a hamburger in The universal; metaphysical Who and what matters kaptest.com of my readers are around this one hand and a soda in another Creation you call home age, give or take a few years. I while screaming into the air is a Half a century to God would say that most people of good idea? I thought we were all Half a century to think To faith and belief this age are well developed logical thinking human beings. Half a century to search Half a century of preparation A drunk driver ruined something human beings with logical think Oh, and the thing that gets Half a century to reason and find For my souls release precious. Amber Apodaca. ing, common sense and function me the worst is people that walk Half a century Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk. with a pretty good head on their see COLUMN page 18 To give way Half a century to realize To the demons that nest To value and recognize In the darkness of your mind The importance of self-sufficiency TO DO LIST The beauty of the human mind Half a century to cry and body Half a century to bleed Half a century to realize Half a century to shut-up You were part of the disease Half a century to wake-up Half a century to realize Half a century to look You wasted half a century of life... U.&De^bMrtcrtT>vw^UeV By Diego Costa boy," for girls who dressed like Arts & Entertainment Editor boys, "Best Pro," for those who had a lil' more experience in the The University of Wisconsin- drag-business, and "Show off," Milwaukee's Wisconsin Room was for spectators who wanted to go filled with Milwaukee's (and on stage and flaunt their gender Chicago's) greatest drag-per uninhibitedly on a whim. For the formers on Saturday, Feb. 1. The latter category, there were peo 250-person audience that filled ple making out, shaking their the place actively participated in booties and a never-ending line performances; donating money of people who were possibly too (by placing it on stage or stick shy to dress in drag but still ing in the performer's clothes), lusted for that crowd enthusias applauding in ovation and letting tic attention. themselves get wowed by the Despite the great reception, queens and kings. there were a few complaints The Drag Ball attracted a vari regarding the late start of the ety of people; some came in drag, event. "The show started a little some in their usual outfitting. bit late, which is to be expected All donations benefited for any event in the gay com Project Q., whose goal was to get munity," said LGBT Resource $500 to keep their organization Center employee Nate Lewis, going, and ended up taking home half-jokingly. $555. College is a place for learning One of the most climatic per lessons of tolerance and diversi formances of the night was put ty. It is fortunate that UWM, the up by Lady Gia, who lip-synced LGBT Resource Center and the to Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" Rainbow Alliance include events and won the crowd both times such as the "Drag Ball" in their she came on stage with a lot of annual calendar. By dressing like attitude, perfect body shapes and the opposite gender we are not a sexy walk that could make any only making a statement of tol woman rather envious. Another erance but also transforming gen unforgettable performance came der barriers and societal codes of Post photo by Diego Costa from the girls from the Moulin conduct in invisible lines, if only Boyfriend and girlfriend: swapping genders. Rouge, when four drag queens for a night. took up the stage in sophisticat ed flashy costumes, flawless-fit ting wigs, a well rehearsed cho reography and moves that would make LiV Kim's look conservative. The Drag Ball had four differ A Drag Ball photo album ent categories, including "Like a virgin," for boys who became girls for the first time, "Lover Post photo by Diego Costa Guy or girl? No one cared! - The Post photo by Diego Costa Post photo by Diego Costa N %#^ ° UWM LGBT Resource Center director Yves Lapierre Like mother, like daughter. is now looking for Arts & Entertainment Writers we're on the web: Stop in our offices at Union EG80 www.uwmpost.com Bring your story ideas! Arts & Entertainment www.uwmpost.coni February 12/2003 11 Depo-Provera is 99.7% effective. 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Please see important product information on adjacent page. © 2002 Pharmacia Cofpofafcoi 12 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Arts & Entertainment music Country, alternative country Solaris Soundtrack, "The Best Part of the Movie"? AM, peddling soft and sweet Neko Case "Solaris." monos of a bygone era, yetnot Solaris (Score) However, the "Solaris" score is Blacklisted a beautiful experience within so soft as to sink into the back Cliff Martinez One of the apexes of the (Bloodshot Records) ground. Case's voice, when itself and is worthy of repeated soundtrack, "Don't Blow It," paired with the evident twangs (Trauma) listening. seems to build the score to its and marching military-time It may seem surprising that climax by providing a rhythmic drums typical of C & W, tapers a former member of the rock bass line, orchestration, and and cures itself into a barely- band The Red the hypnotic sustain of the there twang, foxed up with its Hot Chilli steel drums. This is brought to gutsy ability to belt out notes, Peppers can a halt in the following track by clear and true. compose such the elongated tones of stringed instruments in a sus- On the stellar track "Deep an incredible penseful anti-climax. The only Red Bells," Case's voice contains soundtrack. flaw in the score is the brisk a plaintive wail, sounding as Martinez has length that it is given on the though she^s standing on her provided a album; it is only about 40 min tippy-toes at the edge of the beautiful and Normally, just the word utes. Watching the film, it felt Grand Canyon, calling with unique voice to every film "country" is enough to scare the In the liner notes to the as if there was at least an hour's cupped hands to the other side. (mainly those of Soderbergh) dollars back into my wallet, but score of his film "Solaris," worth of material. For a score Dissonant, shifting guitar switch that he has supplied a score to. recently, I, out on a trip to pick Steven Soderbergh states that that seems to be the 21st cen es cradle Case as she sings, "It From "The Limey" and up new discs, came across the "Cliff Martinez's... score is an tury's answering echo to always has to "Schizopolis" to "Traffic," name of Neko Case. essential element of "Solaris." I Kubrick's "2001: A Space come to this /the Solaris seems to take the best relied on it not only to unify Odyssey's" musical experience, Neko (no, not Nico from the red bells ring this of Martinez's techniques and the film emotionally, but to 40 minutes is simply too short. 70s), has made an indelible mark tragic tone / this impart actual narrative infor wind them together into a in the realms of alternative coun lost side of the mation... demanding that a haunting and beautiful listen While calling Martinez's try, whose smallish genre is start overpass / the composer help you with your ing experience. score the best part of ing to generate some steam. Just daylight won't storytelling is probably unfair... Martinez accomplishes this Soderbergh's movie may be recently, Case made a trip to remember that." [however] we were both push mainly by providing his creative misspoken, The "Solaris" Milwaukee to play at the soundtrack is truly an amazing The rest of ing ourselves, trying things voice to the steel drum. Not Miramar Theatre and the reviews and mysterious piece that gives the album wavers between we'd never tried before." normally an instrument fea were good enough to probably the listener the ambiance of bright spots of sunshine After listening to the ambi tured in popular music, make it into her scrapbooks. A space and the sorrow of lost ("Stinging Velvet") to cloudy bits ent score Martinez provided, it Martinez gives the accompany native Virginian who now traded love. Without Martinez's suc of sultriness ("Look For Me (I'll is hard not to agree with ing percussion instrument the East coast to live in West coast cessful attempts at providing Be Around)" and "Pretty Girls"). Soderbergh's statement. Fol- main focus of his score, which Washington, has made waves something original in his voice, In a way. Case plays her albums dwing a screening of "Solaris," creates a mysterious and with last year's release, "Solaris" the film surely would like an early Chris Isaak; drawing which is probably the most strangely gorgeous sound. "Blacklisted." have lost something and the lis dark, bold lines with minor tones under-rated film of 2002, an Intertwined with the drum's tener of the soundtrack would Touted as the "new Patsy at once, and then shading them audience member proclaimed melodies, Martinez provides Cline," Case creates cunning be currently seeking a refund. in with just-barely-pasted-on that "the soundtrack was the parts for stringed instruments, tunes full of mystery and depth That is not the case, however, major tones. The use of steel gui best part of the movie." Unlike horns, and what sounds like on "Blacklisted," recalling the and it is amazing at how many tars also wili be familiar to any Soderbergh's statement, this is synthesized bass. Combined spirits of Cash, Cline, Loretta people I've seen looking for one in know of Isaak's "San not true, Martinez's score with the utilization of the steel Lynn and Gillian Welch. Though this score since the film arrived Francisco Days." accomplished its very task: to drum, Martinez's tracks all Case is labeled as C & W, the pre seem to have their own atmos in theaters. The only bad side to Case's accompany the film audibly. fix "alt" is added to the tag from phere within the score to Drew Morton — Case's peppered past as a album is that some of the songs garage-punk drummer and a begin to meld together, as if small stint with prog-rock band she's singing from a dusty, old Out of Fools". Although this more—a very exceptional the alt-country scene and need The New Pornographers. bar jukebox stuck on replay. The song might be too big for her moment on "Blacklisted." Keep an excuse to spend your cash on saving grace of this is the cover britches. Case tackles it fearless this one in mind if you're a fan of some new tunes. Raised in the style of FM, Case of Aretha Franklin's "Runnin' sounds still leans more to that of ly, and somehow, it works, and old-school C & W or if you're into Erin Wolf siMH.Ii.1 Contraceptive Injection! ^irtK oonrtnol ^uiWnk asout jus* M-xa year medroxyprogesterone acetate injectable suspension •'•f you have had cancer of Ifce breast 6.Other pivks DEPO-PROVERA Contrecept; • il you have had ii stroke Women who use hormone-based contraceptives may have an increased risk oi blood clots cr (medroxyprogesterone acetate in- JSP) • if you have oi have had blood dots.{phlebitis} m your legs stroke. Also. 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Jose becomes the rea tionship, with all its neurosis, can lead to and how it affects son that Betty keeps her sanity. psychosis and well-silenced trau individual's psyche and commu Betty's mother, who Betty has mas, has been subject to the nity. learned her neurotic behavior scrutiny of many filmmakers. One Interweaving different stories from, has a rare disease that of the most successful examples is of people from different classes makes her so emotionally unsta Ingmar Bergman's "Autumn and races, the French movie ble that she tries to kill her own Sonata," a profound study on "Alias Betty" makes the mother daughter. the selfishness of mothers and the link among its characters. The movie's social take on Betty is a successful writer 21st century France portrays the Alias Betty with highly depressive childhood upper class Parisians as immune memories, whose son dies in an to the implications of violation of directed by: accident. After the the law. While the police (but Post photo This is a caption for the picture. Claude Miller tragedy, she mostly the media) desperately starring: becomes detached cover the kidnapping of a boy from the real world from the projects, the wealthy wrongy-disregarding any societal chadsT When srie becomes a white kidnappers calmly have Sandrine Kiberlain and hardly notices- norm to satisfy their egotistic mother, she quits being a wife their afternoon tea in their that her mother has motherly needs. Perhaps mothers (her husband leaves her so he can condo, watching television and kidnapped a ran are selfish in their own way be as good a writer as her). But the scarred fragility of their playing board games. daughters. In that 1978 film, dom boy, Jose, to because, after they become that does not stop her from Ingrid Bergman and Liv Ullmann replace Betty's dead "Alias Betty" is not afraid of mothers, everything starts to van being happy. It is when her kid is portrayed hate and love as an child. In the mean time, Jose's making timid racial commentary, ish. All they created begin to taken away from her that she inescapable simultaneous reality mother, a lower class, shop-lifting even if it compromises the fluid draw a little further everyday. will lose ground and start living that shapes daughters, who will waitress, is too busy dealing with ity of its plot. Jose's mother has a Just like beings after birth they in an illusionary world where eventually become mothers and crooks and having sex with the black boyfriend, who, after the are doomed to whither and will people can be replaced by stand continue the whole neurotic whole neighborhood to resent kidnapping, becomes a victim of fight for survival as hard as they ing bodies, and mothers will do cycle of motherhood. the kidnapping of her son. dirty cops trying to trick him into can. anything to get the emotional admitting he is the kidnapper. backing that they need. And if "Alias Betty" takes a more As Betty gets accustomed to These mothers' survival battle the physical presence of someone Even though he is not far from is an emotional one. Some need they are white and wealthy; that social approach on that theme, being a criminal, he is obliged to will make the job a little easier. investigating the consequences to care for as a son, she begins to money to eat and scams to shop escape from a guilt he is not close and wear nice clothes. Some will Diego Costa to deserving. disguise themselves behind a The mothers fn "Alias Betty" destructive disease. And some "Alias Betty" will be playing at the serve as a poisonous liaison con will take a random kid (a poor UWM Union Theatre, as part of the snippets necting the other characters. one most likely) to Thailand and French Film Festival 2003 on Friday, They have everything taken away pretend he is hers. Feb. 14 at 8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 15 at from them; their sanity, their Betty's relationship with her 6 p.m. and Sunday, Feb. 16 at 8 p.m. peace, their opportunities to love mother has always been one of Tickets are $4 discount, $5 general. and be loved, and their own kids. Poetry Slam violent confusion and emotional Once they are on the verge of a Not many people can say they have created a whole new art nervous breakdown, they lose For more info and a complete schedule of other French Film Festival form. Marc Smith can. The creator of the poetry slam, an art form control over what is right or screenings call 229-4070'or log on to www.aux.uwm.edu/UnionTheatre that weds the eloquence of the spoken word with the excitement of the theatre, will perform at The Pabst Theater (144 E. Wells St.) on Thursday, Feb. 20, at 7:30 p.m. Also known as the "Slampapi," he will bring his ensemble of performance poets and a four piece band. People can take their poems along to the show, get up on stage and read their poetry. That intro to creative writing class must have WE GAINED WEIGHT been good for something, so, here is your chance to share your poems with other poetry enthusiasts. Tickets are $15-$25, call 286-3663 for more info. —Diego Costa Seen our Scholarship Channel lately? Ladies Night Hey ladies, want to go to a place where gross, hairy men won't hit on you and say dorky stuff like: "Are you tired because you've been running through my head all night?" Well, get your best girl friends and go to the Womyn's Valentine Dance on Saturday, Feb. 15 at the South Shore Pavilion (2900 S. Shore Drive). The Dance starts at 8 p.m. and promises to be tons more fun than sitting at home on the couch and saying things like: "Valentine's is just a hoax so Hallmark can make money, I hate it." The night of greatness features DJ Sandy Sueser. Tickets are $8 in advance and $10 at the door. The event is sponsored by the LAMM Education Fund, for more information, call 272-9442 or email [email protected]. —Brittany Candell Musical Mondays Mondays will cease to be your most hated day of the week. The UWM Union Theatre is brightening up Monday nights with "Musical Mondays," a program featuring eight of the most classical and provocative musicals of all time. All films will be playing at 8 p.m. The Union Theatre managed to schedule a great variety of musi cals which compile different genres within the musical genre, dif ferent decades, and very different styles. From the innocent "Mary Poppins" to the raunchy "South Park," Musical Mondays have got them all. The first Musical Monday film is the ravishing classic "Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg)," starring French diva Catherine Deneuve in a film where every single word is sung. The film will be showing on Feb. 17. Tickets are $3 discount, $4 general. Other films coming up in Musical Mondays: "Mary Poppins" - Feb. 24-8 p.m. "Hairspray" - Mar. 3 — 8 p.m. "Downtown 81" Mar. 10 — 8 p.m. , "West Side Story" - Mar. 17-8 p.m. "Pennies From Heaven" - Mar. 24-8 p.m. "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" - March 31-8 p.m. "Dancer in the Dark" - April 7 - 8 p.m. —Diego Costa 14 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Sports Women's Basketball HORIZON HOT NEWS Women even their mark for first time by Nick Dettmann By Allie Kuopus PLAYERS OF THE WEEK (for week ending Feb. 2) Staff Writer Men's Basketball: Willie Green, Detroit For the first time this season the University of Women's Basketball: Jen Perugini, Youngstown State Wisconsin-Milwaukee's women's basketball team Men's Swimming: Andrew Hancock, Cleveland State evened their record to .500 at 11-11 (7-4 in confer Women's Swimming: Caitlin Carey, Illinois-Chicago ence) with an 88-81 victory over Cleveland State University last Saturday, Feb. 8. Men's Track & Field: Kurt Michaelis, Youngstown State In the Panther's third straight win, fourth in the Women's Track & Field: Andrea Karpala, Detroit league and fifth on the road, sophomore Kimberly Becker put on quite the show, raking in 14 points in the first half, and another 14 in the second, producing Inaugural ESPN Bracket Buster games a career-high 28 points. Freshman Molly O'Brien also announced played to impress with 12 at the half and 16 for the game. The Panthers led the Vikings 48-31 at the half Three Horizon League schools are going to take part in the inau with 54.3 percent of all shots, and 55.6 percent of gural ESPN Bracket Buster Saturday event on Feb. 22. Detroit, threes. Illinois-Chicago and the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee are the After the break, Panther victory was in the air, as three teams that will represent the league in the event. Cleveland State (6-15, 4-7) took control of the ball The event was developed to give the mid-major schools, who and the scoreboard with a 64-61 lead and 10:25 left may be on the bubble, one last chance to impress the NCAA on the clock. This, however, did not shake UWM, Tournament selection committee before the field of 65 teams is who took back the lead minutes later with junior Maria announced the third week of March. Viall's first career three-pointer. Post photo by John J. Ward Illinois-Chicago will be the only Horizon League team that will Cleveland State kept the score gap close, between UWM Sophomore Kimberly Becker not hit the road in the tournament as they will host Bowling Green two and five points, until the final moment of the scored a career-high 28 points against from the Mid-American Conference (MAC). UW-Milwaukee will hit the game. Freshman Nichole Drummond put a down the Vikings. road to face Southern Illinois of the MAC in Carbondale, IL. It will payment on her team's victory with a three pointer. be the first game between the Panthers and the Salukis since 1979. Fellow freshman Anne Witte sunk two free throws, Though Cleveland State took the pleasure Detroit will head out to the West coast to play UC-Santa Barbara of taking the Panthers up to an 88-79 advantage. of double and triple-teaming Viall, she came the Big West Conference. Cleveland State snuck one more in to close the gap out strong with another double-double game, "The pairings process hinged on two very important goals," Horizon to the final 88-81. scoring 10 for the team and-11 rebounds. League Commissioner John LeCrone said. "The first was to create compelling, competitive match-ups not only for this year, but also for next year. The second was to create some very interesting tele vision games. We think all of the games meet those two larger Mens Basketball goals." Panthers keep on rolling Cleveland State names first Women's Soccer coach and tenth on their own court. The Panthers are now Cleveland State took a very important step into the berth of a a perfect 8-0 in the friendly confines of the Klotsche new era of Viking Athletics by hiring former DePaul assistant Derrek Center with two more games to go at home. The Falor as their first coach of women's soccer. Panthers will play on Monday against Green Bay and "We are excited to announce the hiring of Derrek Falor as our Thursday will feature a re-match against the Flames head women's soccer coach because it is the beginning of an excit of Illinois-Chicago. ing new era in CSU Athletics," Cleveland State Athletic Director Lee "Our guys came ready to play tonight," UWM Head Reed said. "Derrek's reputation as a great teacher of the game along Coach Bruce Pearl said. The Panthers are going with his personal commitment to developing well-rounded student- through a grueling stretch right now, playing their athletes made him the obvious choice to lead our program." next five games in ten days. Between 1995 and 2000, Falor was the head women's soccer The Panther offense was once again at the top of coach at Western Washington University, compiling a 56-47-10 record. its game, pouring in 52 first half points. Tucker scored Falor's 56 wins were the second most in school history and his team 21 of his 23 in the first half. "The hoop seemed like never finished lower than third in conference play. an ocean in the first half," Tucker said. Even though "The opportunity to build a program is just fantastic," Falor said. he was held to just two points in the second half, "I look forward to creating an awareness of CSU soccer in the greater Tucker may have played his most complete game of Cleveland metropolitan area, putting an effective and entertaining the season, adding nine assists and grabbing six team on the field, and working hard to be very successful in the rebounds. Horizon League." The Panthers shot 60 percent from the floor in the first half, and hit eight of their nine three-point Post photo by John J. Ward shots. The Vikings had no answers for the Panther Clay Tucker led all scorers with 23 offense. PANTHER against Cleveland State. The Panthers were able to ease up in the second half. They took off the press, which enabled the By Jordan Goldstein Vikings to set up shots. Both teams played evenly MEN'S BASKETBALL Staff Writer in the second half. The Panthers were able to rest their players, and get them ready for their game Panthers sweep the Titans After completing its first ever sweep over against UW-Green Bay on Monday, Feb. 10. As the regular season comes to a close, it is looking more and Detroit on Thursday night, the Panthers used Pape Badiane scored 21 points and Jermaine more that the Horizon League Tournament will be played in Milwaukee their momentum and completely outplayed Robinson added 20 for the Vikings (7-16, 2-8), who this year. The UWM Panthers completed its first ever sweep over Cleveland State Saturday night, scoring an lost for the seventh-straight time. the University of Detroit Titans on Thursday, Feb. 6, with a 61-50 86-69 victory over the Vikings. The Panthers are looking for revenge after their victory, and clinched at least the number three seed in the upcom Clay Tucker led the Panthers (18-5 over loss in Green Bay a month ago. "Monday night will ing conference tournament. all, 9-2 Horizon League) with 23 points, and be a war," Pearl said. In order for UWM to host the conference tournament, they need Dylan Page added 15. The victory, coupled The Panthers will be looking for revenge again on to finish third or better in the Horizon League regular season stand with a UIC loss to Butler, puts the Panthers Thursday Feb. 12. The third-place Flames come to ings and now at 17-5, 8-2 in conference, they are going to be able in 2nd place in the Horizon League, one-half town looking to sweep the Panthers after UIC beat to do that. game back of the Bulldogs, with a visit to UWM 102-92 on Jan. 9 from Chicago. A sweep of the Dylan Page led the Panthers with 19 points, and Clay Tucker added Indianapolis still to come. Panthers may prove pivotal if tie-breakers begin to 16. "We came ready to play tonight," Coach Bruce Pearl said. The The win gave UWM their fifth in a row factor into the conference tournament seeding. Panthers were able to jump on the Titans quickly, putting what Pearl said, "One of our best halves of the year." They shot over 50 percent from the floor, and held the Titans to just 37 per cent Before the game, Pearl told his team to start thinking about post Admirals blow lead, twice season play, even though it's the beginning of February. The Panthers are trying to do something no UWM Men's Basketball team has done By Nick Dettmann the Cincinnati Mighty Ducks. mer Milwaukee Admiral Matt in history, and that is receive a bid for the NCAA Tournament. Sports Editor Two quick goals by the Ducks Henderson notched home his —Jordan Goldstein forced overtime and a 5-5 tie. second goal of the game, tying For the second consecutive On Saturday, Milwaukee it at five. WOMEN'S BASKETBALL night, the Milwaukee Admirals quickly jumped out to a 2-0 lead Cameron Mann registered could not hold onto a two-goal in the first period. Norfolk Milwaukee's fourth hat-trick of Panthers pound the Titans lead and skated to a 5-5 tie fought back to tie the game at the season and also added an The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee women's basketball team against the Norfolk Admirals two and ultimately take a 3-2 assist in the tie. Milwaukee cruised to a 76-61 victory over the University of Detroit in Horizon Saturday Feb. 8 from the Bradley lead mid-way through the sec had its winless streak extended League women's basketball action on Thursday Feb. 6, in Detroit. Center. ond period. to five games as they have not The Panthers placed five players in double figures in scoring to On Friday night the Admirals Milwaukee was holding a 5- broken the win column since a help advance them into a second-place tie in the league (10-11, 6-4 were holding a 5-3 lead mid-way 4 lead with a little over 12 min 4-1 win on Jan. 22 against San league), while Detroit fell to 7-13 overall and 5-4 in league play. through the third period over utes left in the third when for Antonio. Milwaukee shot 52.2 percent from the floor in the second half to finish the game at 49 percent from the floor, while holding Detroit see SPORT SHORTS page 20 Sports www.uwmpost.com February 12,2003 15 COLUMN \ MEET YOUR Panthers Basketball Players flip side Maria Viall JL by NICKGEIGER Hometown: Waukesha, Wl Birthday: May 24, 1982 As the Milwaukee Bucks head with the Bradley Center that is full steam into the All-Star break not nearly as profitable as most Major/Minor: Journalism/Mass Communications with as one of the hotter teams in the in the NBA. Stern may not mind Communications minor league, merely one half of a sea if the team stays here, but he Favorite Foods: Vegetables, broccoli and popcorn son may separate them from the probably would not care if it Least Favorite Foods: Donuts and coleslaw end of an era. Senator Herb Kohl moved to Saturn as long as it Favorite Subject: Sign Language, drama and choir is looking to sell the team he made the league money, some bought in 1985 for $18 million; thing the Bucks, Kohl has stated, Least Favorite Subject: Statistics a paltry sum considering that did not do last year. Yet he is Nicknames: Roommates call her Gwendolyn; MTV for her Forbes magazine recently esti trying to preserve basketball in initials mated the Bucks' worth to be Milwaukee again. Interests: Running and spending time with her nine siblings roughly $168 million, according The Bucks were very good Something not many people know about Maria: Played to the Milwaukee Journal- during Kohl's early years. After soccer as a midfielder and a goalkeeper Sentinel. Commissioner David their prolonged stay in the cel Why UWM? Liked the area, city and the team and believed in Stern recently stated that there lar, he made George Karl the high the passion that coach Botham has. were several people interested est-paid coach in the league. He Person Maria would most like to meet? Mother Teresa, in purchasing them, and that got the Big Dog to sign and he Senator Kohl made it a priority she was a good role model and giving person, just an amazing doled out the maximum for Ray woman. Brad Pitt, because he is gorgeous! that the new buyer would want Allen. When the front office to keep the team in Milwaukee. begged him to make hugely Most memorable sports moment: Winning conference You can believe that if you expensive gambles on Tim championship freshman year want to. Stern may be speaking Thomas and Anthony Mason, he Favorite Music/Artist: Likes Dashboard Confessional, U2 the truth, or he may be spinning did. It is not his fault they have and Counting Crows things in his marketing-wizard mostly failed to pan out. What does Maria plan to do after she graduates? Would way. Truth is, as much as the Whenever the Milwaukee Bucks like to go overseas to live and travel. Otherwise, not too sure team's worth appears to the com have needed something, he has Post photo by John J. Ward yet. mon observer, the Bucks are actu been there. He is the reason we ally the lowest-valued team in the have basketball, and the reason league, play in the smallest mar we can keep it. And for that, Ronnie Jones ket, and "enjoy" an agreement Senator Herb Kohl, we thank you. Hometown: Las Vegas, NV Birthday: January 27, 1980 (team sang happy birthday to him during stretching and they aren't the world's best singers) Major/Minor: Marketing Favorite Food: Italian, Fettuccini alfredo with chicken Wave at top of Least Favorite Food: Lima Beans and corn Favorite Subject: Math Least Favorite Subject: Chemistry their game Nicknames: Ron-J Interests: Loves to read poetry and watch movies; Favorite By Nick Dettmann With nine games left on the movie: Coming to America Sports Editor . schedule, the Wave are in terrif Why UWM? Best friend from first grade's cousin went here. ic shape to capture the league's He has known him for a long time and a smart guy that Winning has been nothing new best record going into the post wouldn't make the wrong decision. to the Milwaukee Wave in their season. Last season, the Wave Person Ronnie would like to meet: Mohammed AN, 19-year franchise history. For the got that honor, but were ousted powerful person and did things no one had ever done and tenth straight game, the Wave in the championship round to expected him to do. He stood for what he believed in. added to the left-hand column Philadelphia. in the standings with a 17-8 win The season gets better for the Most memorable sports moment: When he was six, made his first-ever basket in front of his whole family. Gave him the over the San Diego Sockers to Wave as March 7-9 will feature idea that he could score. improve their record to 22-5, the Milwaukee Wave and the the best through 27 games in Bradley Center playing hosts for Favorite Music/Artist: Hip-Hop because it has a strong franchise history. the 2003 Major Indoor Soccer message. Favorite artist is TuPac Milwaukee natively/anted to League All-Star game. The week What does Ronnie plan to do after he graduates? Play make his mark as well as he end festivities will include a char tilLhe can't anymore, be successful and happy and look into scored his 99th and 100th career ity dinner, the first-ever youth coaching. goals late in the third quarter in skills competition, the legends What do Ronnie's tattoo's mean? The bulldog on his right front of a season-high 8,304 against the Wave game and of shoulder represents his close-knit friends from home as they screaming fans from the Bradley course, the 2003 All-Star game. all have the same tattoo. It represents their brotherhood. Center. Post photo by John J. Warcl They are each other's biggest fans. POINT/! POINT There is no solution It comes down to dollars As one that has done extensive research on Title Title IX was and still is a landmark in sports. Title IX: Is it doing what IX, I feel that the law has its good points and its By assuring equal treatment is given for men's bad points. and women's sports at the high school and On the plus side, the law gave birth to a whole college level, the measure gave women's sports it's supposed to new dimension of sports. It gave women an equal the life support they needed to get established. shot of playing sports. When the law was passed, Title IX is most important on the high school Since its passing in 1972, Title IX has been an on-going debate women's sports soared through the roof in partici level. There is absolutely no reason male and on whether or not the law, that was supposed to force equality in pation nearly overnight. It is great to see that women female sports should not be treated with the sports participation, is fair. are getting a shot of becoming world-class athletes. same respect and level of financial dedica Women's rights supporters feel that the law is doing what it was On the negative side, the law has caused some tion. At the collegiate levels, however, I do think 'designed' to do and that is give females equal opportunity to play stir into what sports are being cancelled because of some distinctions need to be made. athletics at any level. Opposition feels that because schools have lack of funding. With many men's teams folding at I fully support women's athletics, but the been forced to oblige to this law, that men's sports programs are universities all over the county, some people are bottom line of today's college sports environ being dropped. starting to think that women's sports are killing ment is money. To a school, the athletic depart Constant debate continues to this date on whether or not the law men's sports. Opposition feels that, historically, ment is a business, and the sports that draw should be changed, left alone or dropped entirely. So, our sports women are not supposed to play sports. Which I the most money are football and men's bas writers got around the coffee table once again and argued what should think is absurd by the way. So, in order to get the ketball. Marquette's men's basketball team is be done about Title IX and how it is affecting sports. Here's what population of sports participation at a level plane, responsible for funding every other team, male they came up with. they have to drop men's programs so their num or female, on campus. The Wisconsin Badger bers will match the women's without adding foqtball team rakes in millions of dollars for women's sports. the university. Without that football team, All in all, Title IX is helping women play sports, many of the women's teams wouldn't survive. but it is also hurting the men's sports. Some changes I'm not saying that colleges should ignore we're on the web: definitely need to be made, but what changes need women's sports, but they cannot and will not to be made are still uncertain and it may take a ever be treated equally. They simply aren't www.uwmpost.com long time before something ever happens. comparable in a bottom-line sense. Nick Dettmann Nick Geiger DXEBBoaoaaaaBa 16 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Editorial In Honor oj... m %ZJQ# The Relationship According to her... According to him... The only reason I even stepped foot in that pathetic dive of a bar is 'cuz he There I was in the middle of the greatest speech of my life. I understood then exact promised to buy all of my drinks that night. Not that the drinks made the expe ly what the driving forces of my life were trying to show me, and it was no different rience any more bearable—I swear I had counted at least 15 mullets in that joint than Castlevania III. That's when "the Incident" occurred. before I started wondering if the paneling was actually wood. Of course he was In hind sight it all makes sense. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. It's the simple life of a going off on some tangent about a video game. One of these days I'm going to man with too much time on his hands—lots of side-scrolling and ominous pilgrimages stop letting him play with my "X-Box" lest he starts paying some attention to between cities just to get a handle on what the freaking mission is. That was me before me. my girlfriend and college. Then.just as I was thinking that this place couldn't get any lamer, this god Much like Two, I had to undergo a turbulent transformation to achieve where I'm at of a man came walking through the door. I was thinking about asking him if he today (Castlevania III and IV). We all know that it's really about hunting vampires. So let's was in the right place when he gave my boyfriend this look of utter confusion. stick to that. And yes, my boyfriend was still going on and on about those freaking games, Yes, there is room for diversity, by means of added characters (my girlfriend), but and trying to tell me that Megaman was the best game of all time, simply don't go overboard. Yes, you get the bonus thrill of (sex) being able to play as a vam because Megaman got to change his clothes. pire, but keep that in perspective (monogamous). And don't go doing anything too fan Not that I'm some video gaming freak, but I just had to let him know that cy like stealing her a penguin because she's got some weird penguin fetish. You want a he was wrong—Zelda was definitely the superior game. The character develop friendly version of Dracula, name him "Alucard," a no-frills backwards spelling. ment alone gives Zelda a better storyline, and, come on, Dr. Wiley's stupid float ing dog? Case closed. That's me man, to the letter. It'd be nicer if I had better clothes though. That's what I think triggered "The Incident." So the drunkass starts arguing with me, his arms flailing though the air, and I just remember her dumping her drink on me in defense of Zelda. I mean Zelda's eventually knocks his drink over on me. And then, get this—he laughs at me. sucked since they brought in that damn owl. Honestly, make me hunt down a freaking Hell yeah I was pissed. I threw my drink on his face and took a cheap shot. omnipotent bird that's supposed to know everything just so he can tell me where to go. And I never, ever told him to steal me a penguin. I'm not going to I ask you this: If he's so freaking omnipotent, how come he doesn't know say it wasn't sweet that he actually noticed my love of the tuxedo-clad where I am when I'm running all over the damn fields looking for him? And why cuties, but he can't expect me to run from zoo security in platforms. the hell can't I kill him? So I left the bar in a fury, and he didn't even care enough to call me - *$:;W Maybe she really doesn't understand me. I do everything for her, and I get today. Honestly, I think I'm better off without that lazy, inattentive, cal / nothing in return. And I can't even count the number of undead souls that I have low, drunken adolescent I've been calling my boyfriend. had to leave trapped in vampiric bodies, just because she wanted some. "The Incident" Welcome to Scaffidi's Hide-out, site of the infa a man coming into the picture. What is he doing that at least he can turn the Playstation on. That's mous games of the bad boyfriend and the bad here? This is definitely going to hurt the girl a huge point right there as the boyfriend trims it girlfriend. I am broadcasting live in 30 countries friend. I don't believe she was expecting this in back to a one-point game, 3-2. from around the world. There is the "bad her game plan. The God is teasing her, removing boyfriend" slamming down some drinks at the his coat right in her line of sight. She is really dis Round 4 bar. From my vantage point, it looks like shots of tracted now. That is a huge point for the Wild Turkey taken in between Budweisers. What a boyfriend as he takes the 1-0 lead, despite not As we enter the early stages of the fourth peri great combination of drinks there. Here comes the noticing what has just happened. od, the girlfriend is looking to seal the deal. The "bad girlfriend," looking as upset as ever, ready to girlfriend told me before the game that she has a Seeing that she is now trailing, she decides to take on her boyfriend in this intense battle of the fetish for those tuxedo-clad animals, the pen rebound and listen to what her boyfriend is talk sexes. guins. This was something I was unaware of. The ing about. The boyfriend is going off on a whim boyfriend sees his opportunity to tie the game at Before the game, I talked to both sexes. The talking about how great Megaman was because he 3 as he brings up how he stole a penguin from the boyfriend told me that his game plan was to final got to change clothes. She tries to even the score zoo and gives it to her. What a huge score, the ly tell his girlfriend that he wants some new and is successful as she brings up Zelda and boyfriend has tied it up at 3 with only minutes clothes. He also told me that he plans to conquer Link's wardrobe. That couldn't have come at a remaining. her in the same way he conquered "Castlevania II: bigger time, the girlfriend has tied it up a one. Simon's Quest." The girlfriend has a different Now, the boyfriend needs to come up with a What's this? The girlfriend is coming back, she approach to the game. She told me that she plans counter or he'll find himself in the hole. The two scores 4-3! It looks like she told the boyfriend that to let him know that she is sick and tired of his get into an even hotter debate where he suffers a she wants a penguin but didn't want him to steal obsessive addiction to that blasted video game huge blow by spilling his drink on her, giving him one for her. What an awful mistake by the system. She was very secretive on how she was a two-minute trip to the 'sin-bin', putting the girl boyfriend. That one is going to cost him. It looks going to do that. She gave a small wink and told friend on the power play. It is getting worse for like the girlfriend is about to pull away as she me that I will be very surprised to see how she the boyfriend as he is seen laughing about it and tells him that he never listens to her and tells him goes about doing that. is awarded a two-minute misconduct penalty, giv to fuck off. So, the table is set, boyfriend versus girlfriend ing him two-minutes for spilling and two-minutes That's a big point, 5-3 in favor of the girlfriend in another battle of the sexes. We will be right for misconduct. She does not waste any time and with seconds remaining. She's going to take this back after a quick word from our sponsors. capitalizes on the power-play by taking her drink one to the house as she walks out the door. The Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Up next! and dumping into his crotch. As the second peri boyfriend makes one last desperation move by od horn goes off, the girlfriend takes a very winking at another girl, closing the margin to 5-4. important 2-1 lead into the locker room. But it's a little too late. The girlfriend is going to Round 1 Girlfriend 2, boyfriend 1. Third period action is take home the championship in an intense battle Welcome back to the battle of the sexes. Both next from Scaffidi's, don't go away! of the sexes 5-4 from Scaffidi's. sides have warmed up and are ready for this clas What an unbelievable game tonight. Both sides sic battle between the "bad boyfriend" and the Round 3 tried to outwit their opponent, but when it was all "bad girlfriend." Let's get it on! Back here at Scaffidi's where it is the girlfriend said and done, it was the girlfriend coming out on The boyfriend and girlfriend have started the 2 and the boyfriend 1 in the finals of the battle of top. Let's go to the sideline and interview the win first period of action arguing back-and-forth the sexes. This third period stands to be very ner. about the relationship in general. From the looks eventful after the proceedings that closed out the "I think I'm better off without that lazy, inat of things, my vantage point is really high up here second period. With the sound of the horn start tentive, callow, drunken adolescent I've been call in Scaffidi's, it looks like he's talking about how ing the third period, the debate that-ended the ing my boyfriend." Mighty strong words of confi cool the latest "Castlevania" video game is. It second period resumes. They square off and drop dence there. Well, that will do it here from seems that she's talking about how he doesn't lis the mitts for the fight. Scaffidi's. Thank you for joining us. Your local ten to her, a typical argument in the battle of the The boyfriend and girlfriend are deadlocked— news is next. Again the final, girlfriend 5, sexes. The two go back-and-forth as we get set to boyfriend 4. close out the first period here at Scaffidi's. Second it's hard to tell who's got the advantage. From period action is up next with the score tied at 0-0. what I can hear, the girlfriend says that the drink shouldn't make a difference to him because it couldn't shrink anymore than it already has. Wow! Round 2 What a huge score there by the girlfriend. The Second period is underway here from Scaffidi's girlfriend opens up the lead, 3 to 1. Here comes and...Oh oh! Look out! What is this?! It's a God of the boyfriend looking to stay close. He tells her mmmmmmssmmmsem Editorial www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 17 ujar^ifvcs The Value of Valentine's Valentine's Day (or "Singles Awareness Day" to you hopeless And now it's a true Hallmark holiday. romantics) is here. But of all the broken hearts sure to be suffered, Hallmark stands to make approximately $1 billion this Valentine's none may be so harsh as St. Valentine's. His memorial day has lost Day. Greeting cards amount to 57 percent of all Valentine's Day its true meaning. sales. Cut flower purchases account for 34 percent. Legend is that Valentine was a priest who worked under the 130 million roses will be killed this Valentine's Day so that your Roman Empire in the third century. Emperor Claudius II wanted "special someone" can feel that much more special. young men to become better soldiers and he felt single men made better soldiers than married, so he outlawed marriage. Valentine But that is what it's all about these days. Florists, jewelers, can rebelled and continued to marry couples in secret. His actions dy shops, and your friendly neighborhood Hallmark store are just were discovered and Valentine was sentenced to death. waiting for you to drop in and really prove what that sweetheart is worth. A few acres of flowers may die and another rainforest There is another legend that says Valentine created the first may have to be cleared, but it's your baby we're talking about. "Valentine" himself. In prison, he fell in love with the daughter of his cell guard and, on the day of his execution, wrote her a letter And it's not like this is the third century where love is so mag and signed it "from your Valentine." By the Middle Ages, Valentine nificent that it is worth risk and sacrifice. How unfortunate. was one of the most popular saints in England and France. fa ml liar rarities addiction Love dear daily -. vacation Love, the tragedy. Friendship turned com cold, gray, brick smell of voidless silence that panionship or companions turned friends, here deafens into tasteless two-dimensions. Static in heaven it is referred to as "settling." A beau worlds of no electricity, where loneliness is cud tiful vice, powerful and dangerous like alcohol dled like a comforter. or smoking. It is a narcotic, an aural veil in which to hide true vision and real feeling. A TV OR like vice of real life distorted. In fantasy its fan tastic; until it crumbles under its own science, 2. Love. A secret crush on a guy or girl. Watch yet love can never crumble. But yet, saved by their dance from across the room in split-sec addiction, the vice is able to persevere. ond twilight passages of time. Real life? You bare ly converse, shared noticed existence exists Love comes in explosions: debris and fallout only in passing. They don't know you. Yet you clouding insight with falling chunks of infatua dream ludicrously, of fantasy (sex) scenes of tion or affirmation and piercing blind light. (marriage) bondage, during the surely repeating Love comes in sunrises: dawning slow and sta daily vacation from the location of your real ble familiar rarities entwined with second- world. Blissful schoolgirls, infatuated crush fan thought sexcapade. tasy, an unreality for which you prey to plead A compromise not between lovers, but ignorant. That guy or girl that you don't know, between one and one's love. for whom you think your thoughts pregnant. You have two options: Love is a fantasy that comes in bachelor's ther mometers, compasses, masters and document 1. Life. A cell of black/green inch water and doctorates. Love, but only comes in degrees. The siiericc Donald-Duck slime. A world of crippling defini theory of Relativity. tions in terms of feet, yards, or right-angles. That Rather be with the girls Rather be with the guys No worries, no stressing, no one for impressing. A "girls' So it's Friday night again and there is only one way to unwind night" for Valentine's Day is just what the doctor ordered! properly — I call up my dudes Al and Steve and it's understood that we need to get to a bar as fast as Steve's car can go. This night must begin in preparation, as any "girls' night" would. A quick stop at the local grocery store is essential, We enter the bar like an old west gang, and Steve grabs the first for a "girls' night" typically consists of as much ice cream, round. It seems like everything is going to be OK. The conversation chocolate, pizza and junk food as one girl could get her hands is staying a happy level of dick and fart jokes while the beer wash on. (Margaritas and other such intoxicating beverages are es over us like Sunday Communion, taking away our sins. optional.) That is until Steve gets this call on his cell phone. I can see his Now here comes the best part. Instead of finding some freedom getting sucked out of his ear by some powerful, evil mag thing cute and adorable hiding in your massive closet of net, draining him of his life force via the phone. Suddenly it's just clothes, throw on pajama pants and a sweatshirt. This not the same. Steve has now turned into dead weight that Al and I night requires comfort, relaxation and plenty of room to have to carry around on our shoulders all night. eat. After we have acquired the good drunk necessary to forget about Chick flicks, Romantic comedies and other such girly our real lives, the night picks up. We think that we are better look movies are to be taken advantage of on this night. There's ing, smarter and stronger then the next guy. And, as if God was no need to sacrifice or put up watching war movies or fight approving of this new self image, a pool table previously being held movies to impress or please anyone. You won't need to by lesser mortals opens up for a challenger. Seeing how Steve is still guard the remote, but be sure to keep it close by for paus recovering from his mental attack, Alan and I decide that we will Written by: es in the movie are necessary as well as welcomed. try our hand at winning the table away from these obviously unlearned fools. AH Austin, Staff Writer The movie is either stopped or followed by giggles, gos sip and girly conversations. Girlfriends are often the best Four games later our team is down four games, so we change our Nick Dettmann, Sports Editor friends to console, comfort, and give advice. Sometimes the strategy. We've now decided to at least drink them under the table. Kenzie Renner, Editor In Chief night consists of mud masks, manicures, hair dye and wax. The rest of the night seems a little blurry. The next thing I know Brian Resop, Staff Writer But really it's not what the night consists of, rather whom. it is morning and I'm sleeping in Al's bathtub, smelling like my own Spending a night with one guy could never compare to vomit. I pull my wits about me and walk to the living room where Damian Roth, Editorial Editor an evening with your girlfriends. A group of girls who love I find Al asleep on the sofa, pants around his ankles. Drew Wintermyer, Staff Writer you for who you are always prevails over a night of the And in that moment, as I was lighting up the first cigarette of Jeffrey $. Jacquet, Staff Writer "prim and proper" ways of an evening date. Cherish your the day, I had a profound sense of pride in what we had accom girlfriends, because when all else fails, they will always be plished the night before. the ones there for you. The UWM Post Classifieds 18 February 12, 2003 COLUMN CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9 on the wrong side. Umm, did we but I don't think you will, because pass kindergarten? Really, how b) You are an adult and should you are so smart and sweet, The is it OK for someone to be driv act like one right? UWM ing a vehicle 65 miles per hour c) Life will be better when And if this doesn't work then Post on the highway when they can't everyone isn't always so pissed. I don't know, I think we might even walk properly? Let's get have to go to the chancellor and this clear: when you are walking Think of it—if we get this ask about a new Freshman forward, you walk on the right down it could be revolutionary; Seminar, Walking Edict 101. It is now looking for hand side. This isn't hard, all we could be the first school that could work. right. The RIGHT HAND SIDE. Do has 'smooth' crowded hallways. Now, you write, impress me, Staff Writers you know how many food spills It could be a feature included in make me want you. This week's and near bump-into's could be those fictional pamphlets they column is made amazing by an prevented if everyone just stuck send to all those sucker high amazing writer, Verity Fossette. to this walking on the right side school seniors. Think of what a Make next week's better. Send business? Come on, folks. good example we could be pro your writing to me at bcan- Stop in our offices at Union EG80 viding for all those little whip- Lesson number two: If you [email protected]. Now please. Bring your story ideas! find it necessary to have a con persnappers that come to our Thank you. versation in busy places such as school around lunch time and eat walkways, doorways and/or on on the carpet of the union's sec the top of the stairs on the ond floor. Union's first floor, move off to the So I need your help. Next time side. This is common courtesy you see some jerk walking on and I can guarantee that the per the left side, not paying attention son you are talking with is not because they are talking on the going to get pissed if you move phone, stopping where they the conversation over a few shouldn't or doing anything else steps. You could be a hero, your that is extremely annoying to fellow peers could secretly thank the rest of us, go up to them and you as opposed to the mumbled politely say; "Hey, you seem nice, obscene language you will be get you should move that conversa ting if you fail to remember that: tion a few feet over," or some thing in that manner. I take no a) You, personally, don't own responsibility if you get beat up, the hallways Dream it. Do it. Disney.* UNIVERSITYof WISCONSIN We're recruiting on campus! Univ. of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Monday, February 17, 2003 l:00 PM, Fireside Lounge Mark your calendars — All majors and all college, levels invited. This is your cliance to go inside *mmwmm»m)w)> '"• 11 . .this wfirlrUamnn*; Tt^nn, h.iitd your resume network wiih Disney leaders and meet students from around the world. Check out a Walt Disney World® College Program paid internslrip. 24-hour secured housing is offered. College, credit opportunities may be available. Visit our website at wdwcollege.program.com and then come to the presentation. Attendance is required to interview. KmwWxid. VJ COLLEGE PROGRAM wdwcotlegeprogram.com DBOISBSH EOE • Drawing Creativity from Diversity • ©Disney ESCORT SERVICE "Be On The Safe Side" Start Counting Down to a Great Job this New Year! Due to continual growth and expansion, Wisconsin Early Autism Project is still hiring fun and intelligent people! Teach play and social b l ud£»t A91 $<•} »AMn . skills one-on-one to a child with autism in the child's area home. i fci:w* FOR SALE 1991 Pontiac Sunbird. 4-dr, 4-cylin- der. 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Our program includes horseback riding, waterski, climbing, fishing, crafts, sports, Competitive Salaries and Travel Allowance. To place a classified ad On campus interviews Feb. 27. For application information: come to our office at Union EG80, call 928-445-2128 call 229-4578, or fax 229-4579. or email [email protected] Download application at www.friendlypines.com CANCUN ACAPULCO Absurdities & Ironies byNickvoiimann JAMAICA BAHAMAS r.imui.vmFLORIDA DISCOUNTS OrffJROUPS!! SAVE UP TO $120 PER ROOM! cDUh <] TRAVEL ccs 1.800.648.4849 www.ststravel.com (\ C4RT00N f ROM UU STEIN ivwvw.maususa.com WHICH ONE'S MINE* Wisconsin's Largest campus weekly. J$L~~ © 2002 Ull Stein; in the U.S. licensed to Mice & More Marketing, LLC; distributed by Maus USA, Inc. THE WEEKLY CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 44 Lion's home 7 Blue pencil 56 Concerning I Western state (abbr.) 46 Get an A on a paper 8 Archetype 58 Liberty (abbr.) 4 Musical note 48 Sesame plant 9 Moisturized 59 None 8 Wonder 50 High wind 10 Direction (abbr.) 61 Annoy II Unconscious 53 11 Tins 65 Prosecutor (abbr.) 67 Southern state 12 Dry 55 Black street 16 Article substance (abbr.) 13 Recreational vehicle 18 Steal 57 Each 14 Morning (Latin, 20 Moist abbr.) 58 Sheriff 22 Take away points 15 Ban 60 Number 25 Damage 17 Sea robber 62 Move 27 Morning moisture Last week /s puzzl e: 63 A Gershwin 29 Self P 19 Novel A 1 » * 0 M 1 D E 64 Short skirt (slang) * 21 Doze 31 Cot C A O N E F o * E 0 « 66 Woe is me! 33 Compressed ball 1 1 23 Carry T u N 0 R A B L A N C E R 68 Turking title 35 Age 24 Stalk T E E T H P 0 T 26 Spread grass to dry 69 Dash 36 Say E L A N H A M S O B S 28 Nude 70 Girl (slang) 38 Negative B A L S A IB Y E 8 1 R A P 39 Appendage 30 Flap N DOWN 0 N Q E R A G Q s A 32 Cat sound 42 Give room R B| H A 3 IB M A P BJ T A C T 34 Regular (abbr.) 1 Star with a tail 45 Doze " 35 Sullivan 2 Americium symbol 47 Beaver construction Y 1 P E • 8 L E S S 37 Restore 3 Chemist's workroom 49 Old language E • » T A N 40 Complete 4 Playing cards 51 Within the law C N M A 1 « E 8 T L E 5 Either... 41 Relative (abbr.) 52 God of love (Gr.) U S A ' M A G E • E I 6 Sharp bite 54 Appellation P A L A L O N | A M 43 Beetle 1' • 20 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post News SPORT SHORTS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 14 to 33 percent for the game. The Panthers outrebounded UDM 42- MEN AND WOMEN'S TRACK & FIELD 31, continuing to stay atop the league in the rebound margin cate gory. Viall and Kenesie win at Northern Jessica Wilhite led the Panthers attack with 16 points and seven rebounds, while Maria Viall added 13 points and nine rebounds. Witte Iowa finished with 11 points including three trifectas. Becker and Nichole University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee junior Nick Viall won the Drummond added 10 points apiece. Sara Crum led the Titans with 600m and senior Stephanie Kenesie picked up a pair of wins in the 16 points. Northern Iowa Classic from Cedar Falls, IA on Saturday Feb. 8. —Nick Bragg Viall ran his personal best time in the 600m to give UWM its only win on the day from the men's side. Viall's time of 1:20.51 knocked WOMEN'S SOCCER off nearly a second off of his previous personal high. Gabe Wagoner finished second in the 600m, almost a full two seconds behind Viall. Suminski receives regional award Viall was not done as he helped his one-mile relay team of Nick Bruskewitz, Elliot Enright and Wagoner to a top-six finish in 3:20.95. University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and local hometown star Maggie For the women, Kenesie picked up wins in the long jump and triple Suminski was voted by college coaches across the country to the jump for the Panthers. Setting a season-best in each event, Kenesie Second Team All-Great Lakes Region team from soccerbuzz.com. jumped 37 feet 6 1/2 inches in the triple jump and 19 feet 2 1/2 The Shorewood, Wis. native capped a brilliant four-year career for inches in the long jump. the black and gold in the same year she led her team to a second Lynda Thiel collected a win in the high jump with a personal-best straight appearance in the NCAA tournament and named to the 5 feet 6 1/2 inches, just one-half inch short of the school record at National Soccer Coaches Association (NSCA) Great Lakes Region Third- 5 feet 7 inches. The mile relay team of Teresa Braunreiter, Tenia Fisher, team in January. Katie Slamka and Katie Seep picked up UWM's last win in a time of "I think it's awesome that Maggie received this recognition, espe 3:59.29. Every time a company cially since it is voted on by other college coaches," UWM head coach The Panthers will be back in Iowa this weekend as they will take Michael Moynihan said. "She is deserving of everything she gets. makes a product, they also part in the Iowa State Invitational from Ames, Iowa. Maggie is probably the most skilled player we've had here at UWM —Nick Dettmann use energy and natural and the more you see her play, the more you appreciate her abili ties." resources. Every time you Suminski was undoubtedly the leader of the pack for the 2002 MEN AND WOMEN'S SWIMMING make a purchase, you could Panthers, leading the squad to a regular season and conference Badgers and Phoenix fight off the save some of that energy and championship and the birth in the NCAA tournament. UWM went 26- 11-5 during her last two seasons, which helped her land All-league Panthers those resources. 'Cause when honors during those two years. you buy durable and reusable Over the course of her career, she scored four goals and 13 Josh Basehart and Jeff Janinowski scored wins for the men, while assists while playing both midfielder and defender. Jen Kedinger, Krystina Herzog and Hannah Burgard each finished products, there's less to —Nick Dettmann second at the University of Wisconsin Natatorium on Feb. 7 against throw away. And less to the UW Badgers and the UW-Green Bay Phoenix. TENNIS The men fell to the Badgers 115-84 and to the Phoenix 132-98. replace. For afree shopping The women lost 154-82 to the Badgers and 149-92 to the Phoenix. guide, please call Panthers get aced Basehart squeezed past Wisconsin's Adam Mania by .02 seconds in the 100-meter. Janinowski won the three-meter dive with a score 1-S00.2-RECYO.E. The Women's tennis team fell hard to the University of Illinois- of 189.35 and second in the one-meter dive (174.30). Chicago last Sunday Feb. 2, as they lost 7-0. Kedinger was second in the 500-meter freestyle with a time of BUY SMART. The league favorite Flames dominated the visiting Panthers. The 5:18.74. Herzog and Burgard split their second place finishes in the strongest showing by UWM was that of freshman Margie Van diving events. Herzog was second in the one-meter with a 214.5, WASTE LESS. Lieshout who lost to Ayea Gumuscu 6-1, 6-3. The Flames also swept while Burgard was second in the three-meter with a 228.55. the doubles competition. The Panthers are off until Feb. 26 when they will compete in the SAVE MORE? The Panthers were set to take on De Paul on Saturday Feb. 8 and conference tournament in Cleveland. Bradley on Sunday Feb. 9, but at time of print, no results were —Nick Dettmann reported. eNvmoNMeNTAi oefeNse —Sara Sommer