EEDS
Interview: VC defiant despite no confidence vote
W 1t Matthew Power llnion (LUU) on edncsda). m1l11ons of pounds Jes. than Leeds ' nl\·ersit) . l le emphasises UCll members that could have \ winter nights conttnuc to expected to han:. \s a result, one chat any propo:al made
creanng a scene once more. from the mcmbus of 'protest soc'. members o[ LCl, teering 1 lowever, this time the cause was ln other news, the result of the Committee? Answers on a post not their own. referendum arc 111 and de pitc card to PO Box 157. It seems that now any protest assurance 'that ab tention would o back co the issue in hand must be attended hv said certain not count, it seems that Sketch can (well, in their hands). The dispute individuals, even d they do not no longer be so sure of th.is. of tn co1111t or not to co,mt has, it have a particular affinity to the Thi apparent lack of -eems, been settled. Sketch cannot main group or any respect for the democratic accountability, officially state the outcome of the leader of the groups, Stcerrng Committee ketch i reported dc.:cis100, but would urge Differences of opinion were looking al you here, seems an official statement to be made to Leeds Student is the clear between the two on the somc,vhat out of touch \I 1th the inform us mere stakeholders in mght, with a dignified response to bxcc' almost dogmaric approach our umon (yes, Sketch is a fully voice of the students some members of the Leeds cit\ to Union 'democrac) '--- uh hum. paying LUU member these days) of the University of This week ketch \\ as parncularl) centre population on one side, and Sketch would like to pose a of what deci ·ion was made. Leeds. But we always riled on experiencing wha1 , ketch a far more direct (and ketch question to the srudent would Sa} negati, e) approach population: can ) ou name :ill the need writers. is now dubbing 'prntLst soc' photographers and Calling oul lo all Medicine. 'l designers. We want DenisTry, Nursing and VT.odka • research Kicked Final Royal you to join us. HealU1care students Park school "\Xe are 1m mng l\fedicine, Dcnllsn'), Jessica Elliot done for PR purposes by a student Got a Story? Nursmg and I lealthcare students to "run. the risk of an1 errors you make eviction share rbeir ,ic;ws on finance for bung picked up bv the public." Has a crilne or a studems from the :l\.J ~S Bursar\ . The lecturer also t1uestiooed the James Legge dodgy landlord made ''111e Dept of Health is er msidcnng VK Vodka Kick re earch ha come ethics behind research that involves changes to the sysrem and we need back to bite a Biology srudent after interviewing people drinkmg alcohol or you t.he victim of your news to suggest 1mpr0Yements raising national attention. already drunk on a night out and injustice? .u1
EDITOR NEWS COMMENT DESIGN (in collaboration wt Virg'inia Newman Marcus Chippindale. Tom Charlie Cooper SODS) editor(a leedsstudent.org Knowles. Laura Mackenzie, comment(hleedsstudent.org Laura Crane. Tom Jivanda. THELS Malti1ew Power. Joey Severn Tom Reilly. Katie ASSOCIATES news Tht \\'in ning 1eam w ill earn a Jenn) Lines and • t..:ve Hutton) will chtltlrln and students through a The ttam were :i lso sent 10 the Abigail Yardley pl ace o n the once m a It fetime '2041 n eed to use a L.'i()() grant from cookbook, 'Carbon utting I .ah District to prove their worth Anu rctica o.pedition' \\ ith npnwer to tu rn the1r idea for a green C:ooktng', and its website, agamst che nirK other teams 111 the 0 ach enturer Robert ·wan OBJ~ to sust:unabilit) proicct into a reallt\ for \\ ww.carb Amy Nickell weleomccl b1 I.ccds anu .·leaze James Strother L·rom the first Tucsd::11 ot cn:r\" hop..: to rais..: as much monn ,ts camprugnt·rs who say 1t will su1p bare month the care "ill donate to the local possible to donmt; to 1 ·orkshJrc ( :ancer the impact of th<. sc:x industf) chant\,) orkshirc Cancer Rcsearch RcsL·arch." on the citv's cconom,. (YCRj. ·nrcknt customers say the1 "\\ill be Leanne l(ay, '.\lanag..:rofCati: ll1 the happ\ to help the ch,Lnt} ·campaign. Leeds University is advertising for a The 'project will look into Cafe in the Campus is making that Campus explained the n.-asons behind T\\ o final year B10log) tudt·nts £31,000-a-year lap d ancing h alf an h our's cappuccino obieccilication of the femak both and the initi,tttvc: "Everyone knows ,aid: "TI1e cafes on campus are usuall) re earcher. sexuality. · indulge nce an even m ore rewarding prospect. It is pledging someone "\\ ho has been ,tffectcd b\ lulJ to the brim around lunchurnc. I 'I11e position 1s being adveros..:d h) 300 erotic dancers and other to donate 50 per cent of all coffee canccr or personal ii banlecl the: disease. would happily wa1 l an extra lL·n th..: school of ~ociology and social industt") iijc,ttlrcs such as rci-,'Uiators and sale to charity. ·',\II rhc t:iff nt Cafe in the Cunpus 1111nutcs :u Cafe in the Campus, polic) and asks that applicants have man~-rc:rs are to he intc:n.·icwed. knowmg that I nm contributing to 'prior cxpericnc..: of conducting The research hopes to 1m·esa!-,>ntc \CR". research m the female sex industn .' and determint· where d:rnccrs are l~mma, second) car ociology The successful applicant will ~vork recruited from and what their working student, added: 'The fantasoc range< ,f on a re carcl1 project bemg conducted conditions arc like. It will also examine.: c,,ff..:c .md s:111d\\ ichcs reflects the b\ the chool to examine the ·nse, how erotic dancing has become a cati:-'s diY<:rs..: clic:ntelc. Onh· he.re ctn pc< >pie, 1Irc:spccti, c.: <,( 1-,"-·nd~r, mce, age t<;h:ran.cc.: and integration of sexual m:unstrcam form of <..ntcrt:unn1e.:nt <,r clcgret; t.itlc, come togcthcr to dnnk consumption and . cxual labour available: on most high stn.:cts ,mmnd coffcL· and fight cancer as a result." displayed through the crouc dance: Britain and why t.hc number of clubs Yorkshire Cancer Resc;1rch funds mdusm.' has multiplied.· T hcrc arc: world class research at fiyc uni,·ers1t1cs "111~ post ha sparked outrage.: with current!) seven lap-dancing clubs in and their associated tcachmg husp1uls Susie St1um.:, political director at the Leeds alone. .1cro:. Ynrksh1rc.:, including LLTds, Ta.,Pa\ers' ,\lliance. TI1e pmjcct also aims to uncover Sheffield and York. ''This is rhc ulttmate non-job and the compeang mtcrest, lx:t\1-cu1 eroac ·11,e monc1 raised b1 YCR supports will both ani-,re r and bemuse ta.,payers. Janee businesses, law enforcem..:nt and c ·scnaal research 111 the lield oi sc,lid It mav be: ,1 dream J<>b for some men, licensing processe . tumour~ and hat·m,ttologicaJ cancers .lt hut it'~ just another nightmare: of publ ic ,\spoke.person from the school of the- Leed lnsmutc nf l\lol..:cular l\ led1c1m.:. sc:ctor wa te for the ordinary people ::.ociok,g) and social policy said: "This The chant) has alrcad) promised who pay li,r it." tiwre said. re earch project \\'.ill look at thc rise, [5.~ million worth of iunding to thL· But hipb on ervat:ive .\IP Philip tolerance and integration of sexual l ni\'..:rsit\' of Leeds o,·er the Dm·ies in i ts the area of research wa.~ consumpu on and sc. ual labour forthcomuig fiye y..:ar prnod. one worth umlcrtakmg. d isplayed through the ..:xouc danct' 1nitiati,·cs similar to this h,n e He commented: "I do think bettcr indust.T). Lt is acadcmicall ) rigorous, ht:lpcd Yorkshire Cancer Research Ltnderscandtng of lap dancing clubs I a high quality research in to an area of r.11,c almost [6.Sm11lion this vcar, worthwhik research project.," he: said. lq,ritirnate public interest and concern. rebuffing tbe cffccr, of the credit "There 1s an issue of whether it's 111c research is externall\ funded b\· crunch that man\ non \ o!untan exploimtive co women and l wouldn't the c.conomic and oc(al Research organisations ha\"e suffered. decry it as a subject of rcSl.'arch." Council." [·or ideas on what you can do to CHARITY COFFEE: Cafe in the Campus will be g iving coffee sales to d1mate,,·1s1t W"\\,~.vcr.org.uk. 1ideas. The Government funded post was charity Phoro: Joey Severn + 04 Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student Housing issue 2009 ' Condensation triggers tenant asthma flare-up A war of words has erupted chest infections - I'm on the maintenance round to check the the condensation was the possible contributed to the problem. between a landlord and student highest dose of medicaoon I've ever external areas of the property and cause behind the deterioration of "The condensation problem will over the deterioration of her been on in rm, life. I have to u e the there was no problem. The tenant her condition. It is till to be continue as long as the tenants do health since returning to inhaler 15 ti'mes a da1·," Gemma further complained of the black confirmed whether this was the not manage their environment university in September. told r~l'(lr St11rlm1. , spot mould in her bedroom, once case. After Gemma's mother properly. As they have been made Gemma Sutherland, a second Tbe situation was ortgmally again we immediately sent the contacted the agent on Tuesday aware, they must vent their room year Classical Literature an? English reported to the agent, Oasis contraccor round who stated that December 1 Oasis sent a regularly, something they are failing student, has compla1ned of Properties, on October 8. chi was a condensation problem. representative from Envirovent, a to do. They must not dry their condensation in her Oat. I\ spokesperson from Oasis The contractor removed the black ventilation product manufacturer, clothes in their bedroom, "I've been to the doctor five Properties told l..,1u•d.r Sllfdmt: ''The pot mould." to inspect the property and look ro something that they have been times this semester. I've mis~ed tenants reporte~ a problen: \\'ith Gemma was told by her doctor install a ventilation sy ·tem. A doing and they must ensure that the loads of uni because I've been so damp problem 1n her bedroom. to contact the en,irnnmental and representative from Oasis heating is turned on. All of these run down and on antibiotics for my lmmediatel} we sent R • 11 Property health agency to determine whether Properties said that this phone call items are the rcsponsibilit} of the was the first notification that thev tenants," a spokesperson from the had received of Gemma's mcdic~l company explained. condition. " or with randing thi we take A spokesperson from Oasis our responsibilities very seriously. I Properties explained: "It was believe that we have acted very pointed out that there is a company responsibly and proactive!) on this called J:nY1rovent that has issue," he added. developed a whole house Gemma has had problems at ventilation system to prevent niversity as a result of her condensation. It works by replacing experience. the moisture laden air with clean air. She told Leeds S111denl: "I've had It was pointed out that 1n this emails from the University about particular instance we would be my poor attendance. I've missed happy to install one of these seminars just because I've been o systems." run down. It's so hard for me - for There are aspects of pre\'cnuon the 20 minute walk from H,·de Park of the conden ation problem that to university, I have to sit down and Oasis Properties sa)' are the take my inhaler straight away as responsibility of the tenants: soon a 1 get to uni. l've always "I ven strongly counter the been asthmatic, but I've never had claim that nothing has been done it this bad. l've had to be put on about the build up of condensation. harder inhaler , with teroid in Our maintenance team have them because my lungs are so attended as soon a this has been weakened, the whole dose has been A MOULD ISSUE: Damp in Gemma's house has even affected her books and shoes with mould reported. I lowever, I do believe changed." Photo: Charlotte Sintrat that the tenants have strongly Hannah's househunting myths Hannah Greenslade, 'All the best houses go first' 'It's ok, ifI find something better I the agent - question ho\\ it 'Everyone's decided who can just cancel my contract' benefits you and always negotiate, they're living with and already LUU Community ot true at all. Man) landlords puL ome agents won't budge on this, started looking' Officer, explains some their \\ orst hou es on the market I lousing contracts are almost but if you don't ask, you don't get! common housing myths early to make sure they shift impossible to get out of. Contral) Again, not true. Anyway, you'll do them. to popular belief, you don't get a 'No deposit - awesome! better to wait until later in the year "Hi all. It's getting near to hou. e Unipol's list doesn't come 'cooling ofP period. ro be sure who you want to live hunting season so l thought l'd take out until the 16th Januar). \X 'hen you've signed you Yeah, maybe not having co find with. You may nc)t have C\'en met the opportunity to highlight ome of This is when Code of have ~,reed to pay the rent for £250 on top of the fir t month' your best friends from uni yet! the issues to be aware of and Standards accredited the fixed term (usually 12 rent and a fee sounds brilliant, but common misconceptions about th1 properties come onto the momhs), This can cost even if Lhey don't charge a deposit, "I need to decide on the spot ume. market, from landlords who £3000-4000 so be sure! landlords will want to recoup and sign my contract As landlords and agents clamour have agreed to gi\'e th.cir Al o, if a group of you sign damages to their property immediately" for your business and your maces tenants a higher the same contract for somehow. If there are charges at see,i1 to know exactly ,,,ho chey'rl standard of the whole house the end of the year ti:tey'll st.ill have lf you feel under this sort of living with, signing for a hou e housing. you'll probably be ro be paid for.· · pressure, walk away. If there was suddenly seems like a priority. o to tnake jointly liable for If you are paying a deposit someone else read) to ign for th1.: rear not, here are the mo t sure you each others there's new legislation to make same house, why would they be common mych around house actuaU} do rent. ·ure it's safe. Check it' gcmng put pressu rr ng you? hunting, dispelled for your pleasure. see the into a Tenancy Deposit Scheme - Take vour contract awav with Take note - you need this be S t this I a ,overnment-backcd third you and' a k the student advice infom1ation." · that part} which protects your money. centre to check it through. The) ,· it bin 14 days of pa} ing you know their stuff and will definitely 'You have to look for a house Leeds hould get notification of where it pick out things which you mi ... now' has to is from \'Our landlord. Remember - agents will say offer, Translation: lf you live in private rented anything t0 get you to 1gn. They Waiting longer has ils benefits. wait until 11" one person accommodation and } ou're assume you know nothing and can Landlordi; kn w that there arc more after your drops out the reading tbis thinking your deposit therefore be ripped off. hou es than student·, so the longer exams (at least!). others may haYe to isn't protected, visit the tudent Be clever, be demanding and be their house goes un-let the more coyer their rent. \Jvice Centre's website on ready to walk awar if there's nervous the\' become. lf you do need to \>,,"\\",,\,'.lcedsunh·ersityunion.org.uk/ something a bit dodgy. It's your By waiting, you are more like!} to 'Oh yeah, you can lea\·c your house, you 'Will hclpandadvice or search Tenancy money o spend it wisely. be able co haggle prices down, get have a new sofa, usually have to find a Depos1r chemc' on Don't forget to get your contract new furniture, and waive signing we'll paint this, replaccmen t, or www.direct.gov.uk for more info checked at the tudent dYicc fees. give you new continue to pay the rent. oo ho,v to find out 1f it i Centre before you sign, you won't There are 4000 spare student bed mattresses ... ' protected. regret it. spaces in Leed for th.is academic 'You have to pay a If it's not, come to the Advice year o there's no danger they'll run Get it in wntmg or signing fee' Centre or ring on 0113 3801 300. Happy Househunting! out. they can back ou Hannah Greenslade Remember: \' LUU Student Advice Centre's advice on how to get landlords to do repaks Deposit repaying confusion 1) Put tt 111 \\-riang. tn hear from different agcnaes that \\'C work with including Trading Confusion surrounds an ongoing nearh rwo 1cars aftlr the depo. irs l ·azal sm s hL \\'as not aware of this 2) Take p1cn.m:s. Ltndard . case between lancU ord M Fazal and should hm·c been ren.1med. uwcsugauon. I IL told Ln·ds \'/11rlml: "Despite the new Tenann former student Joe Lewis, over a "-\s usual be fatlcd to respond 111 '11m 1s the fit1>t I hm·e eYcr heard of 3) Contact the tudcnt Ath ICL Deposit legislation where a landlord non-repayment of deposits. anvwa1." this 111\'esng.tt1on." Ccntn:. ha A le tting agent in H yde Park is redecoration cost. again. t the decision, as they still considering appealing ag ainst a "Full invoices were supplied to beltcn tht:1 arL cnridnl to th<., funds. Leeds County Court ruling which the tenants of the ~·ork carried out." \fandip :chm,. ;\lanagtng award e d fo rm e r ten ants over a Diamond's claim includcd Dir,ctor of Di.1mond PropLrtie, . thousand pounds. £ 14(1.88 fo r the clcan1ng of the said: "'\\eat D1amnnd Pmplroes arL In June thi s year a judge order,d whole property, [82.25 ror the of rhL' Yie,, the judgment in thi casL D iamond Properties, based on removal of bagged rubbish and ,1 a· wrong and l am currcntly in Brudenell Road, 'to pa~ J) ,00(,.32 to broken furniture from the garden, ralks with 111) lawyers I<> appeal this the former tenants of 4 ,wport and [I 64.50 to ha,·e all the carp,ts decision. Road after a judgt: ruled in their steam cleaned. "le is tn he notl(i the Judgc.: favour. 13ut the tenant. dented causing accepted tn principk we ,vere right But Diamond belJeyc that the ;1111 damage to the property, to charge the.. tcnanrs for most of our judgcment was wrong and that work asserting that it was left in no worse claim howl:\ ,r hc took a different done on the property, much of cQndition than at the end of thl Yic'-\ on the quantum of thL amuunr which was charged ro the rcsidenrs, prc, 1ous tenancy. the tenams werc to contribute to thc was necessary becausc of damagc l n the hcaring District Judge cosrs tncurr1,;d iollowi11g the tenant, caused durtng thc tenancy. Bedford ordered Diamond to rctum lc.ffing the propert\ " The disputc arose followmg rhc [:30 of the deposit to thc clauna111s, :-1 r. Sehm1 also 1old I .,ads Sturlwt end of the tcnancy in .July 2008. plus l56.32 in interest and [220 in that he was un:iblc to attend Lhc Diamond withheld tl11.: tenants' £900 costs such as pctrol mont:) . ongtnal court date. a a member of dcposit due to Jamagc inflicted Diamond were allowcd to ret:iin hts famd) died the t.ake industrial action over cuts Police were called to Woodhouse Moor Park after a woman was Continued from front page representative organisation that is found unconscious. mtcrestcd in providing a rea.lly high A passing member of the public summer 20 11, can go ahead without quality experience for students in a discovered the woman out cold on ·tu Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student 07 Referendum Results • • Motion 1: Should students with bad handwriting be mterviews allowed to word process exams? FAILS by 1,269 vote to 867 Chief Executive of the Union, Aidan Grills Motion 2: hould LUU offer more Fairtrade & ethical products in its bars and shops? activity should be more relevant to other students and we need to Interview by This is an more students, so we're doing a lot keep that at the heart of our work. PASSED by 1,693 votes to 372 Lizzie Edmonds of work to make sure that we Funding right across the Urnverslt; supp ort a ll students at the is now a risk and we are talking to issue University. The new un10n plan the Univer ity about how we can Motion 3: Should LUU What does your job involv~? gives us a direction on how to help each other during this time. lobby the University for affecting the represent sllldent better. \,'{/e're better provisions in the I r's my job to make sure that the also going to provide students with Worsley Building? Union's support, representation, whole of more help with emplo)'ability. Do you think the university will events and activities mean that Students will also see be capable of maintaining its improvements in the quality of the PASSED by 1,945 vote to 253 students love their time in Leeds. 1 higher prestige if the job cuts are lead the senior management team Union building and we're enforced in full? which oversees all the Union's con rantly findrng new way of Motion 4: Should LUU services. I also work do ely with education getting even better. My short answer is yes, l think the disallow access of any the niversity and other external reputation of the University has groups or individuals who hoc.lies like the Council to unprove and all public been built over many years. If this have been convicted by the the Union and what we do for What are you doing to change wa just a Leeds problem then it Racial and Religious Hatred students. Lt's my job to make sure services this? might be different but this is an Act 2006, or Section 74 of the that the Union get better anc.l issue affecting the whole of higher better in the future, which is really Well, following the referendum education anc.l all public services. Criminal Justice and exciting. great feedback that we get from this week, it's now mv job to Immigration Act 2008? tudents is more important than Lizzie Edmonds robes arc available to download given a fixed penalty notice last thing about the phot0 shoot was and the students will gather in the yea r for being drunk and Bristol the cold stating: "\Y/e were on the bar once the ceremony has come disorderly, ac.lmirtcd two counts of J\lendips ac 4am and on the to an en Dear Editor, espcc1ally when talkrng to rhc most few taking up this offer. -Housing- powerful person ar this Ll111Yersicy Lt is a fact that the majority of l 'm writing to C\press Ill) (i.e· . the pc:rson who can actually students at this uni,·ersiry sect~ to Despite the government's tudc.:nc. often With most of our concerns on financial wellbeing, and environmental and business interests readying themselves to lock horns in Copenhagen, this week we ask: Jack Choppin Emily Barran t may seem fuir to e.px:tthegovcmment's a nd set target a5t \vre< nitie c:runtres in th: Ama,xin over concerns about pollution. Who policy to be completcly g.:anxl towards the reforming minorities force through region met co work our a aimmon among us, among the green lobby, coonomy. People expect jobs and security, the odd token environmental policy, position to take to the Cop:nhagen would voluntarily give up our hopes of and d1e govcmrnent will be expected to make but there i no real room for the dimare d-iacgc ~. .- 11:nmit 1hey cm.=i a 4(Jl/. , getting tl1e job we dream of because of this mppen, or get t=ly to step out ofoflice. lt environment in the British conscience, drc:r, in C1I0011 crmc;sions by m:l, ao:l Brazil the impact it would have on the is diis expectition that will be carastmphic f.ur no real platfonn on which to ensure arJOOJm.'d that it is ~an 8Y/.,rcrlumn in environment? the envii.noment Governments throughout the environm ent gets a say. The die rate of An1a7.0!1 c:lcrorestacioo bv th-: sunc lt i easy to stereotype those who thev.'Ol.ld will single-mindedly beginac:unpaign policies of Britain need ro en ure tl1at Is Union date. So Eu:, so uncontroversial But Brazil's refuse to make changes ro their lifestyle to return tn prc-2008 level~ of affluence, all future generations have what they democracy any Presicbit 1...ula W,lll[S this nxluao1 to be µocl for for the environment as selfish and believing that th.J' bavc learnt enough to avoid need. 'lf..le need to become ustainablc bpich arums: "Lctrogrirgo [fnteiproj a51-."1.JSto morally cormpt; oftentimes that i a the mistakfS that led to the current recession, in our actions, ratl1er than keeping thi good? han.Armzonian SlllrVe tocbth un±ra tree''. correct a, scssment perhaps. The '4x4 oonficlent that the abyss Cllfl be avoided nei,.'t: selfish attitude of getting people into I le ha~ rcafun.t like nwiy ~ emrornies mum', Jcren1y Clark on, students coo time around. So is it sen ible to put the work and getting tl1e economy back Yes: 56o/o diat.'~an'm.salCll,~hurrnna.s. lazy to recycle; they have a ll been environment on the back burner wh ile the on track at th e expense of generations Environmental lobbies fear the subject to the ire of the green lobby. a.u:rcnt ccooomic a-cases arc itonerl out of the to come. l t i hard to accept that No :44% influence of big oil corporations over But it cannot be forgotten how many world market? It may seem fair, but the economic recovery will be damaging govemmentS. They say that the power job there arc in the oi l industrv the envii.orllJ1Cllt might not wait that.long: to the environment, that encouraging of carbon-dirty Jollar over our leaders The environ ment d ebate has conswncr spending and investing in automotive industries, and tht: a\ri~tion is going co pu h our planet into ficiy industry: as we saw lasr year when the returned to the headlines recently, with public projecrs will have a large carbon Don't forget to log on and oblivion. Big corporations = bad. US govemmem bailed out GM Motors the thinly veiled promi e that bina footprint, and it eem counter have your say at G reen= good. ln fact there is a moral because it wa 'too big to fail'. There have made to reduce carbon emissions intuitive to put the environmenr fu-st, case to be made for supporting the after Copenhagen. f course China will but it's important char we remain wa no question of the environment economic tatus quo or at the vety lea, t easily sidestep any carbon emission cap sustainable in our actions. then, and frankly nor should there have working towards a wadual resolution through its cleverly worded promise, Government policy must also been. The futures of hundreds and of these opposing lobbies. 'D"lis is not and it is the idea of de,·elnping include a gradual weaning of the thou ands of families, as well as the to deny cbe abundant cienrific countrie · like China that raise the country off its dependency on oil. economy of an entire city (Detroit) worry~ng problem behind the neglect Future disaster could be evidence that tl1c clim..'lte is depended and continue to depend on of environmental policy in favour of avoided if this i done, and changing and for tl1c worse, an industry that is a huge polluter. lt or to cry and argue that should not be supported blinclly, and economic recovery and growth. The poLicy is the best way to do 1t. 1r1sigmficance of a token British effort Token recycling and adverts humanity is somehow President Obama should try and use blruneles Equally, tl1ere are his leverage to encourage the to become more environmentally telling us to turn our washing ~ friendly is really highlighted when you machine down to 40 are not many dungs that individuals development and production of c nsider the population of China, a going to achieve this. ~· e need can choose to do to le sen electric and hybrid cars. But if all GM nudge over 1.3 billion. If a country this to have a committed policy their own personal 'carbon J\Iotors ever produces are SUVs, the size fa ours economy at the expense of that will end our oil addiction. footpnnt' . But on a company should still be supported; for the environment, will the resul ts be As the American journalist governmental JcyeJ the the humans that depend on it. Big reversible? In the 19th century, when D avid Owen put it 'We arc options are not so obviou,. corporation arc the biggest private the current economic powers of the borrowing against the world's To fully halt, and then polluters, but they also employ millions world were churning through natural dwindling store of reverse the effects of global of people worldwide. re ources to prop up their exponential inexpensive energy in the warming, governments Environmentalists argue that 'green p;rowth, the world population wa same way we borrowed would have to change so collar' jobs will replace blue, but for smaller than the population of China is against the illusory equity in radically that it would be co current workforces, that is a fantasy. It roday, so if a country of such ridiculous our homes'. A very fitting the irreversible detriment of is dangerously shore-sighted to think size i co become a leading economic analogy. their citizen . Population that industries that have been a centurv power, what damage is gotng to be We must accept the controls, enforced in the making and a problem that ha; done in the process? Can fluctuating nature of the vegetarianism, vastly been centuries in the making can be environmental policy remain in the economy, a problem that is reduced overseas trade, and resolved in a mere ten years. Economic margins for much lo nger? When you never reall y going to be an almost complete halt in concerns will continue to be a ta ke into account the population of solved, and focu on the is ue airborne tourism - all these dominant mitigating factor in India and Brazil as well, you are tal king of the fo ture, the arc neces ary, but the environmental negotiations and that is about a third of the world population environm ent, before the affected industries are only a not a bad thing. If we have a moral duty fragment of the number that to preserve this planet for fu ture looking to become econo mica ll y dystopia n p red ictions of ------/ developed in the next 50 years. The writers like Cormac Mccarthy would be fatally damaged by generations then we certamly have an environment will struggle to survive becom e a r eality. T he 'going green'. Thi was equal moral duty to pre erve the such a bashing, and with the curren t environment may not eem as brought home to us here in futures of current generation . leading nations of the wor.ld having important as the economy at Leeds by the response of So l would argue that to make tl1e their own portion of the problems, it's present, but when the true students from the Aviation battle again t climate change a central hard co see who will step up and tackle problem s of environmental Studies department to the part of government policy would the problem. neglectful policies rear their recent protests by members constitute a failure to act in accordance Britain's leaders will be just as short head, the economy will be at of LUU to the Leeds with the duty o[ care which the sighted. What the leaders o f B ri tai n the bonom of the pile. Bradford Airport expansion. goverrunent has co the people who want is a happy voter, someone who Many of them hoped to find depend upon economic stability. has work and is ubdued, someone who jobs and/ or work will vote Labour at the next election, Illustration: Becky J ones experience there; they still and that's the problem o fBritish policy can because the council it will only see as far as the next election, decided to chose 2,000 jobs Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student 10 Hope in 'hagen? Rosie DriffLIJ opt (or more c, pcos1, e en erg) sources, the 1he1 intend to gin thc IJ .DCs, in order that hrst '\ t.::lr \Vcsr is wnng to ha\ L' to sc.:t a massi\·cl) the·, arc rein~hursed for culling carbon lnn:rnat:1C1n:u Rdannns decent cxampk by rn caling fin.rnci,il c.:ncrg, ,ourc:cs. r.1Jri tlill(a hrJtmail.c, ,.uk specifics ,111d s11ckmg to them. But is thi I ' ~' o LI Id 1 mag t n e th ,H 11 · s b cc au s L' likd\? 1'ot rcalh J~Ur«lpe's lcauers :JIT th111k1ng the.: salllL ,I. Sn far, de1 elopL'd coL111tr1e ha\'e their glolial Clll111tcrparts: ,, h1 cc>mmtt to m.111.1gcd to at l,.1 1 .1ppc.ir to he m:1k1ng cuts ,oumi tigurcs \\ hen we can feign d1plm21 tl: h) shifting thLir carbon ~uurces to 1h1s \ca1. rhcn s\\L'L'p it ill undcrrhc rug~ Lt' \\ 1thm a c ,upk "( d n ,, Du11n.11 k's c.1p1t.1I de, eloping q,ues, ·uch a Tnd1.1 tnd ( h1n.1 onl) our pl.incl, .1f1cr, IL ~di pl.n IH"t t" ,,orld le: 1,kr Cllngn:g:rnng 1hu, ducking 1...._, ,,ro c,ms1ra1nts and skirting Th c.: th Ing t , 1f \\ e .t n to ma kc ,111 \ to d1 cu , .111 :1111bitious ~UCCL sor to the around thc I SUL nt" ,111 encrg\ tk fie it. he.td\\ .t\ \ ith the L,lrhnn issuc, \\'<.: nl'ccl to l,\Cllu Pr"t Joe Miller hus1ncs · •.mt! pn:fcrs to ignorc the perpetual leapt upon h) thosl' prt·drspo:l'd ro ( .imcron's 'Broken 'octL't\ ". , 1olcnce bc1ng earned our on the est:irc.:, .1pprc.:ciate rh1. p.1rttcL1l.tr brand oi' hvstcrta. Perh.1ps Caine t:l ,11 arc correct in , CC< ,nd '\ c.1r I cnglish mc(a joc.:millcr.co.uk conse<1uenrl\ [I\ 111g a iifl' nf constant fear \Lin) .tre cl.tuning thc film's 'message' cnndemning a Labour go\ u·nrncnt for and intimiu:ttion. ch .1n1 pi o 11 • th c Tori c s' 'bro kl' n B rt ta in' f-tilrng t, i bolstL'r the most undc.:rpri\ikgc 'A low, dishonest In defence of secularism decade.' As the noughties end, what hope for the 2010s? Oliver Duggan religion and political ideolog)· Political Wahabi lslamists recommend on women's Charlie Cooper Second Year Politics ideologues make obscrvat:10ns on societal norms aghts? What reforms might the Pope propose to Comment Editor [email protected] and customs and then try to create a coherent abortion and gay rights legislation? Will the [email protected] plan to addres any failure they sec. rchbishop or Canterbury, given hi Religious instimLions, on Lhe other hand, condemnation of the "offensive" Danish decide what societal nom1s and custom. should cartoons, uphold free speech? be, and then accredit :lfl)' failure to an evil force Perhap, those who argue against me will or Lo being part of a deity's plan, depending on accuse me of fear mongering. As they mip;ht say, their particular religious preference. religtou instinitions arc nice now; they are loving This is not an attack on people with faith . Inc ThJs cditi n of the Ll'eds St11dmt is a (JUieLly This is the big difference and this is wh, and inclusive. case 1 am outlining is Lhat religious institutions, au ·picious one. It is the last of the decade. The n:bgion could be o corrupting to the political Allow me then to take a more recent example and their manifcstaLion or faith, should have noughties, as thi decade seems destined to be system, tf it gained major influence. ft could from a coumry thaL do<.:s not exercise scculaii m. absolutely no influence on politics. known by posterity, have also been auspicious, formulate and advertise policy wirh the only ( )n ovember 18 in malia a 20-vcar-old Unfortunate!} there is no justification in banning but by no mean quietly o. Every newspaper in justification needed being the promise that God, woman was convicted of adulter by an al- people from using religion to influence p litics, 1 the COW1tl') \,ill be running retrospectives of the: or llah, or any other dciry told them ir was the hahab judge and stoned to death under the but it is not this J am most concerned with; it is decade, as it comes to its final close, o there i no right thing LO lo. . principles or Islamic law. 1 am by no means rarher the clear and present danger that religious need to go into much detail here with regard to ' lr destroys an) need for empiricism or ayrng that I Jamie institutions in Britain arc the institutions present. the cYcnts and trends that have cransformed our Jegirimac, within the political system and same as those in Somalia; of course Lhere are eculai.ism may eem an obviously ncccs ary lives and our planet over the past ten years. encourages blind faith in your leaders, blind faith differences. But there will always remain the principle but in.light of some or the views A decade which has been predominately in your gm·emmeoc. It would, to aU inLcnts and potential for extremists to manipulate Islam in pr pagated at a recent LUU debate, and the documented through tl1c dubious medium of the purposes, be the blind leading the blind. whatever context. 1inistcr for Community crcating'faithgroups', it instant media bu:aword, can somewhat More dangerously, religious insotutlons arc It is this potential that makes its exclu 1011 i perhaps not a. obvious as I first thought. appropriately (though by no means sati factorily) likely to do a grcaL dcaJ of harm u, sociecv if they from politic. so ,·ical, along with all other I. Those, like John Denham, who seek to be bmugbL into focus by tl1c srune means. 9 / l l, were granted any influence. One need only institutionali. e H Ow II ,vork I VD°'f1:;i n1 ti >\PR p t,; ,. With rnlcroloans from Toothfotry you ca, borrow small ar)lounts of 111oney wt11111 you need money fa~t. You apply by mobile phone or internel Pntl rece1•~ money deposited Into you, bank account <1m1ct typ1ci1tly within a row m111mes We opor~te 24 hrs a day, so wher,ever you Jleed us we will b• able to as,,.t II, ~a, ,, Ii II 1 ,, Ai ) ( ' J 11 fl 1 I 11 ,... I l I t ... I \i'j (( ,, 'II l LOANS FOR EVERYONE: Tooth:fai.ry's website offers 'loans to help you - whomever you are' EASY ~ ONE, TWO, THREE: After texting the word '1oan' to _the from: www.tootbfai.ryfioance.com number listed on Toothfa.iry's website, LS received the above text JUSt seconds later. Photo:Joey Severn THINGS 2 045 09 ...that Santa can eave in the North Poe this year. It's bad enough having to put up with the family for three whole days and watch all the awful Christmas specials whilst being force-fed mince pies, without having to endure the world's worst Christmas presents. Here are some of the things we think that we shouldn't have to pretend to be grateful for this Christmas ... Christmas Themed Clothing Knickers The vile knitwear created especially for you by a Underwear for Christmas is never well received. The sexy variety great grandparent should definitely be received with from your boyfriend seems a great idea to him but when you rip open the necessary gratitude and eagerness to try on, but 1 the packaging to find either size 16 lacy knickers, which closely as soon as they leave be sure to store it so far resemble net curtains, or a size six thong, which would better fit a 2 towards the back of the cupb oard (which you Barbie, one can only take offence. If, however, the knickers are from a specifically reserve for such gifts) that it will never different source, particularly an old male relative, a very disturbing rear its ugly head again. The reindeer print didn't Christmas will follow. It is advisable to avoid eyP contact over work for Bridget - there's no way you'll pull it off. Christmas dinner and inform a close relative of the situation to best ensure a refund. Socks Toiletries Socks are clearly a necessity and, as a present from you to your father, We are not strangers to the difficulti es of buying they serve perfectly. But when it comes to your turn to receive them presents for people you are not that well you realise it is not the most exciting of Christmas presents. Although 4 acquainted wit h and it seems we always end up 3 they are stocking fillers, the joke falls on us in having to pretend to be thinking that you can't go wrong with toiletries. 'thankful for something we could have picked up in Primark for under However, after many Christmases and birthdays a pound. Why do our feet get so much attention? It is not that we are of receiving Boots and Superdrug premium gift ungrateful, we were just hoping for something a bit more exciting (and sets we are left with no room for any more. Our expensive). storage is already filled with hundreds of glittery bath bombs that never dissolve and leave scum all over the bath, candles that smell more like Febreeze than 'the scent of winter morning' and bottles of David Beckham's n ew cheap cologne. Household Items Isn't the essence of Christmas receiving gifts that you don't necessarily need, but want nevertheless? So why is it that relatives feel that they can_give us presents which would have been bought for us anyway? A kettle or a toaster, though useful, canno t be seen in the same light as a 5 brand new iPod. I words: Phoebe Norton and Anna Simons LOWDOWN------3 04 09 Some people are beginning to speculate that the with traditional sliding locks, but benefits we can gain from tech nology have hit a apparently trains now need toilet doors glass ceiling. Or perhaps a one way energy from the Death Star; doors of the saving Perspex ceiling with Al functions and a future. Today. touch screen. Anyway, waste of money aside, they l think the reahty is that there are still infinite befuddle many an incontinent improvements that can be found for medical passenger and often slowly and research, environmental energy and generally unstoppably slide open to reveal improving the efficiency of wasteful industries. someone frantically trying to look like However, in the meantime, we are being kept tl1ey hadn't already started urinating. lf occupied with meaningless and pointless little that's the future, then it's already twiddles that apparently improve our quality of looking bleak. life to the point where we being to genuinely One thing that has now become believe that we can't live without technology's equivalent to gold blocks is it. the LCD plasma screen. According to The iPod has to be a prime candidate for this, MTV at least, (so, like, according to and many an owner will shudder to imagine a everyone yeah?) the wealth of any given citizen world where they can't be in constant possession can be gauged based on t.he number of screens of 20,000 songs that they won't ever listen to. they possess. More recently there's that Samsung advert in Remember when companies began putting Going UP which rat.her than use independent thought, a radios in absolutely evetything? It wasn't _ man in a bar employs that power of social simply clock radios; there were watch radios, Advent Calendars networking in order to fom1ulate a chat up line toaster radios, hat radios, cat rad.i.os. It was Not that I don't eat (which he then fucks up anyway). Duhhh. At least madness. Radios were in all the places you chocolate every day of the it kind of came out charming. He can add didn't need them to be. Now we have plasma month anyway but now I it to his favourite quotes, the absolute tosser. He screens everywhere we don't need them to be. have Jesus' approval! should be removed from the gene pool. Like in clubs, fridges and in the boot of your car. Another piece of technology that baffles me is Pimpin'. - the electronic locking system for the slid.i.ng doors Will Coldwell Tea on trains. r don't know quite what was wrong It's cold , .d 'teas W;i,..,..,__ , ,,... S a1 . ="1, nuf[ I too used to be a bit of a technophobe when it care because it fucl Overheat-d.s: , Cats . house and. beg whi.S,Pered ffOM one ::irl to another:. I can't believe Come m rntat's gonna g~t my crearn- _1, · the ram yoa Ve had .,r:;ve S1I.s.' I°',,,,, .So ;M,Pre.s.sed.' ·· asap.1 Get baLl'- in • Cc,// to ,Pra;er.S in MO.S'j'L.te.S? !hey .shoa/dv·ust use l«.J1.tier. ·· foo'\ • I t-<.X fridge. Roll into a square, about 3 mm thick. (10 minutes preparation, 50 minutes to cook) Christmas is just Easily the favourite part of a roast for most! Cut out shapes for the house, using paper around the comer (in The gingerbread houses at the German templates. E.g .. four wall with doors and the student world, 1 medium sized potato per person Market too expensive? Here's a recipe to windows, and two squares for a ceiling. anyway) and what 'h tsp olive oil (sunflower will do) make your own for that instant Be creative, add chimneys, annexes etc, better way can you say l tsp butter per person Christmas feel, with a sweet and yummy or recreate a famous landm,ark. goodbye to your friends 'h tsp salt per person result. Should only be attempted whilst Cook the shapes on baking paper at other than enjoying a 'h onion per person listening to very cheesy Christmas 180°C 8-10 minutes. Let cool. Melt sugar roast dinner together? songs ... Just watch out for Hansel and and use the resulting syrup to glue the As turkeys are Peel and chop the potatoes into quarters. Gretel (or more likely, hungry flatmates) expensive and fairly pieces of the house together. Remember, Peel and chop the onions into large chunks. trying to eat it before you do! huge. we've used Place the potatoes into a pan of boiling water, melted sugar is very hot and difficult to chicken. If there are and parboil for ten minutes. Drain, and place handle, be careful! Leave the house to set Dough: only a couple of you, it into an oven proof dish. Add the oil, butter and before decorating. will probably be easier salt and mix them through. Give the potatoes a 500g butter Whisk the egg white until relatively to roast the same number of chicken breasts, good shake and put them in the oven on the 300 ml syrup firm, and add icing sugar. Mix all which will take less time. top shelf. Roast for 20 minutes, add the onions. 600 ml sugar together until smooth and add lemon. Although different parts of a roast are Get the chicken, and pour some of the juices 300 ml double cream meant to be cooked at different temperatures, Use to decorate the house. (As most of mto the potatoes (not too much, otherwise About 2 1 plain flour you probably don't have an implement to we're guessing it's unlikely you have a double they won't crisp!) Mix to ensure the juices cover l 'h tsp ground cloves oven; the best way we find is keep mg pipe the icing, grab a food bag, cut a small al of the veg. and roast for a further 20 1 -'h tsp ground pepper everything at 190°C, blasting anything sli~htly minutes. (Tip- if they're not browning. grill on hole in the corner, and use to push lagging wful.st the rest is being served! We ve 1 Y, tsp ground ginger through the icing. Perhaps practise on a high heat whilst you serve the rest of the 5 tsp cinnamon left the simple stuff out and concentrated on meal). some baking paper first...) the harder elements of the meal. 3 tsp baking powder More sugar for assembly and more flour Ideas: Roast chicken: Yorkshire puddings for rolling. Use plates of gelatine as windows. (1 'h hours) (30 minutes to prepare, 15 minutes to cook) Glue the gelatine plates on the inside of Simple is often best when roasting a It's absolutely fine to use a variety such as Icing: the walls before the house is assembled chicken. Most chickens come with cooking Aunt Bessie's - especially if it's your first 2-3 egg whites using melted sugar. Decorate 'window instructions so check the insbuctions, but here attempt at a roast dinner! I also doubt that Icing sugar is a basic guide to a medium chicken (serves 4-6 sills' with icing to make a snow-like many students have a yorkshire pudding tray... A few drops of lemon people). To check it has cooked through. insert However, they are fairly easy to make. and will appearance. a skewer or knife - if the juices have run dear, it impress you friends, if you get them right! Decorate the house using several has cooked through: Mix the syrup, sugar and butter in a different kinds of sweets. For example: Makes 12 puddings: pan, and heat until the sugar melts. Let it jelly-babies make for good 'inhabitants' 1 whole chicken 300ml ('h pint) milk cool. Mix with double cream and flour of the house, rectangle biscuits (i.e. 1 tbsp olive oil (sunflower will do) 110g (4 oz) plain Flour and spices and mix well. Remember, the bourbons) make nice stairs, chocolate 1 tsp mixed herbs 1 egg dough should be quite firm to keep its buttons look like roof tiles, chocolate 1 tsp salt Oil shape during cooking. Cover and leave 1 tsp pepper mini rolls for chimneys etc. The more until the next day, preferably in the sweets the better! Preheat oven to 190°C; gas mark 5 Put about 'h teaspoon ofoil into each cup in the yorkshire pudding tray. Put into the oven; To make an outside area to you house Rub the olive oil over the chicken. Mix the the oil needs to be really hot for perfect arrange the house on a tray. Use cotton herbs, salt and pepper together, and then r:ub yorkshires! wool to imitate snow (or chimney into the oil. Place the chicken on baking foil, on Place the flour in a bowl, then make a well in smoke!). chocolate fingers as fences, and a baking tray/dish that has raised sides the centre and break in the egg. Mix in half the use leftover dough to make animals, (otherwise you'll gel chicken juice all over your milk using a wooden spoon, mix together until people, etc. that can be arranged outside oven!) Put the chicken in the oven for roughly smooth, and add the remaining milk. Beat or the house. an hour and a half, starting with the top shelf whisk until fully combined and the surface is Leave until Christmas, or for as long as and moving lo the bottom when you put the covered with tiny bubbles. Allow to rest for 15 you can resist. Then ... Smash! Eat! potatoes m. When cooked through, take to 30 minutes, whisk again before use. outside the oven and leave to rest for about 15 Pour the mixture into the cups into the tray, mmutes before serving (cover with baking foil cook on the top shelf for 15 minutes, until words: Heather Bodle and Maren to retain heal). risen and golden. Spoon the yorkshires out of M11mnich the tray. photograph: Flickr- Terren in Vi · · CH!, + _. ~ . ...; "r~ ~.. ~-.-~·:--;..:·' ..... _~ ....;u~ --·. - -· !' - .-, - •. - ,;, ., , ---'y ' ._, I 5 Have yourself a quirky little Christmas It is that time again folks, Christmas is upon us. Though a Christian celebration, Christmas takes over the entirety of England and it is hard to find someone who doesn't get a warm, fuzzy feeling when they are eating mince pies and opening presents. Each to their own though, so here are some celebrations with a slightly unusual twist. The Nativity of drunken dreams the fireplace) a wind up angel panda is a insisting that 'just because it's her proud Gabriel bringing a joyful message to birthday, doesn't mean she should miss The nativity scene is a common enough the shepherds. The shepherds incidentally out'. As a result, Christmas Day has sight to all of us. There is Jesus, obviously, change every year as the salt dough models always meant loads of presents. Well, in his manger, his parents, some we made as children got eaten by mice, I maybe not loads ... but double. shepherds, sheep, three kings, probably believe currently one is a playmobile man I start the day with my stocking. When some camels, a cow and a very tired with a home made headband. I was little, there was a 7am restriction for donkey. Om kings are by far the most beautiful entry into my parents' room. And We see this picture everywhere at this characters, and most normal, seeing as although I still rip open these presents on time of year, on Christmas cards to they were bought by my sister from a my parent's bed, it's now my mum who wooden displays in shopping centres and market in Spain. They do however, come eagerly waits for my brother and l to many of you may have your own version with a collection of about ten camels, surface. set up in your living room. Those little gathered from various forgotten places, The second batch of presents comes figures that you get out the box every year who graze with the donkey that always after breakfast the ones under the tree. and lovingly dust off, perfectly arrange, falls over. Usually, before this annual routine can only for your siblings to come along after Possibly the strangest addition to our take place, a family member is nominated you and re -arrange them all. little scene is Herod/happy meal Cruella to 'dish them out'. Once this has been ln my house we certainly have a nativity De'ville. She stands upon a pot with a red agreed upon, the tearing of wrapping scene and are immensely proud of it. lt eyed camel who I, at one point, decided paper can begin again. may not, however, be exactly what anyone looked too evil to join the rest of the Now, for many, this is where the expects when we drag them over to look at camels. Thankfully, the holy family are a excitement of bursting open presents it and stand beaming above it. Yes, group of finely painted plastic models that ends. But not for me. For me, the end of eyebrows might raise but my sister Honor hopefully bring some class and dignity to Christmas dinner marks the end of and I have been collecting our precious the nativity. Christmas Day, and the start of my figurines since we were very young and I think at one point our parents Birthday. As everyone around me collapses refuse to believe any nativity is as wondered if encouraging our annual onto the sofas as a result of their excessive wonderful as ours. project was verging on blasphemy, but as annual binge of turkey and 'pigs in It begins with God, naturally, and the weird as it is, it reminds us every year that blankets', f leap to my feet and reach for plastic roly-poly Sul tan of Disney's Aladin, Christmas is essentially a religious my third helping of presents. Normally, I from a McDonald's happy meal, hangs, celebration. It brings my sister and I will sit on the floor, in front of everyone. with his twinkling eyes and long white together every year and that is worth all Not only does this mean I become the beard, from the clock on the mantelpiece the comical characters in the world. centre of attention, but is also means that so be can overl ook the magical scene. no one needs to hire a crane to manoeuvre Down on the ground of Bethlehem (or by Evelyn Prysor-Jones themselves to another location. The day draws to a close with the arrival Doubly Special of the 'Birth mas' cake. Since 1 can remember our family Christmas cake has I was a Christmas baby, a real Christmas also served as my Birthday cake. Every Hannah Crichton-Smith baby. A real one in the sense that I was year my mum draws a line down the photography: Charlotte Sintrat born on the very day. middle, sectioning off one half as the This means that whenever somebody Christmas side (usually with Christmas Features Online: new finds this out, I find myself listening trees and a skiing Santa - one year she to the same reactions and answering the attempted a ski slope, which ultimately Chris Stevenson scribes on Mo -vember. same questions; something along the lines ended up with someone having a colossal of: 'Oh! That must be terrible! Doesn't that sugar rush in one bite), and the other, the Lizzie Edmonds on why travel insurance mean you only get one present?' But fear Birthday side (with numerous candles and is essential. not, for the answer is 'No'. Since I was the words 'Happy Birthday Hannah'). born, and until recently, my parents forced So, this year f'll be spending Christmas Virginia Beards nail reports on 'Walk a the whole army of grandparents, aunts Day how I've always spent it: turning Mile in her shoes'. and uncles to buy me two presents; another year older. Crossword Across: Down: 1. Sausage in Yorkshire pudding (4,2,3,4) 1. Sparkly tree decoration (6) 7. Replace with something new (6) 2. Lead up to Christmas (6) 8. Version (7) 3. All there (6) 9. Castrated male (6) 4. Knob(6) 10. Join (metal) together with heat (7) 5. Made warmer (6) 11. Born out of marriage (7) 6. Xmas drink (6) 1 7. Capital city in Europe (6) 10. Tie the knot (3) 18. Sad(7) 11. Ornament for tree (6) 19. Not mde (6) 12. Ordeal (6) 20. Same felt (for unfortunate incident) 13. Fix (6) (13) 14. Merry (6) 15. Think highly of (6) 16. Create-think up (6) 1 e answers to last week's crossword: Across: 1 .. Ladybird, 5. Cafe, 7. Obtain, 8. Pester, 10. Hamlet, 11. Erotic, 12. Boat, 14. Axe, 15. Soup, 17. Armpit, 18. Cuckoo, 20. Dancer, 22. Amanda, 23 . Real, 24. Deadline. Down: 1. L. Ron Hubbard, 2. Datum, 3. Boiled, 4. Deplete, 5. Customs, 6. Free, 9. Reciprocate, 13. Topical, 14. Altered, 16. Putrid, 19. Khaki, 21. Ace. + FEATURES 041 209 --- The myth of the metrosexua mae It is evident that in the 21st century, concepts of masculinity and femininity are changing rapidly. When it comes to What boys say: have you ever borrowed a addressing the idea of a whole new gender - the metrosexual male - it must be realised that taking on such a label girl's beauty products? brings about more than ju$t a lifestyle change, as the term carries a lot of connotations that some feel they should avoid being related with . The survey for this article asked 160 students, 90 boys and 70 girls, various questions about their behaviour when it came to their appearance and their thoughts on aspects associated with metrosexuality. How long (in minutes) do you take to get ready for a night out? How long (in minutes) do you take to get ready to go to Uni? 30 30 25 25 YES NO 20 20 What girls say: has your boyfriend ever 15 15 borrowed your beauty products? 10 10 5 5 0 0 <5 5-10 10-20 20-30 30 60 >60 <5 5-10 10-20 20-30 30-60 >60 Although most females said they For both men and women, the MALES MALES took over an hour to get ready for a average time taken to get ready for night out, the majority of men felt uni was 10-20 minutes. Whilst FEMALES girls should only spend 30-60 FEMALES most women agreed this was how minutes. Alternatively, rather than long men should take, most men YES NO the 10-20 minutes most men said felt it was appropriate for women to spend 30-60 minutes to get they took to get ready to go out, Should men pluck their eyebrows? women felt they should have spent ready - the same amount 20-30. suggested for a night out. Leeds Student would like to darify that any opinions expressed in these results are those of the respondents not the opinions ofLS. Ifyou would like to comment on what we have displayed please feel free to email us at [email protected]. YES NO IF NECESSARY t- . . . e I I 7 The resu ts are in When I think of Gordon Ramsay I think raits and values. What I I I•••• of a hard-headed, sharp-tongued° man who Product suitability for men, from most to least t hen, does metrosexuality w_ould not take callous comments about r eally mean and should it his appearance, or anything for that erhaps be rebranded ~ matt~r, to heart. Therefore, it came as a ..... metrosensual" in order to surpns~ to hear that he had undergone combat the idea that the cosmetic surgery to fill his deep wrinkles choices made in on the advice of Simon Cowell. ' 9. individual appearance The idea that men aren't (and shoul dn't 1. face wash foundation detemine sexual be) as concerned with their physical 2. moisturiser 10. fake tan oriention. It is a huge appearai:ice as womer_i is fast becoming an 3. conditioner 11. blusher generalisation to say that 35%ofmen old-fash10ned one, WJth the number of . in order to be men having cosmetic surgery leaping up 4. hair brush 11.eye shadow heterosexual you must fit admitted.to 82 percent since the start of 2009 5. hair dryer 11. lipstick the criteria of dressing a havingwom (www.thegoodsurgeonguide.co.uk). 6. lip balm 11. nail polish certain way and having a The concept of crossing the gender specific level of concern make-up for boundaries dates back to the early 19th 7. straighteners 12. eyeliner for your overall century when women began to wear 8. hair spray 12.mascara appearance and the same undisclosed trousers for practicality, much to the can be said for homosexuality. By reasons...... Ill s electing one lifestyle . choice, why does society celebrat ed for their metrosexuabty such impose anot~er alongside it as though as Eddie Izzard and Russel Brand b~t to they are two inseparable sides of the same Menown,on w~at ~xtent does society still covertly coin? And to what extent raise its eyebrows? do people agree? average,5 It is hard to ignore the parallels With differing between our past and the present in terms definitions, 1t proves beauty of the rules society imposes upon people hard to spot a truly based on their sex. It is perhaps the metrosexual male. products case that, in another hundred In comparing years, generations to come males against one will look back on us another, it may 'small minded' be easy to say people and be that the as appalled and disapproval of their fellow workers in coal metrosexual bemused at the male is the mines. Even then, they were expected to concept of men wear skirts over the top, which were rolled one with being judged for fairly up to the waist whilst working. Eventually, wearing make-up or thanks to the feminist movement and long hair high heels as most of that designers like Andre Courreges breaking us are about women the boundaries, trousers became a being disallowed to standard part of any modern woman's wear a 'man's' garment wardrobe. However, if a man chooses to If a girl wears loose The study showed expand bis wardrobe to include skirts fitting clothes and has a that men know more dresses and heels he becomes labelled' as a short hair-style she requires about what women transvestite. Why is it that women are becomes 'butch', and if a styling and allowed so much more freedom in what man waiks or talks in a certain want than they let straightening as they wear? Some men in the media are way he becomes opposed to the male who on, correctly 'camp'. Why then, just uses a bit of hair gel on a do we not call men identifying shorter cut. However, there are many that wear baggy men would get very upset if you dared to clothes/style as the clothes and short hair tweak their perfectly poised spikes and most promment butch and women who who pro_b~bly spend more time styling walk or talk a certain way factor in assessing their hair m the morning than say a man camp? We are raised from a with a number two cut. ' potential partners. young age to learn Perhaps it is more about cosmetics and stereotypes and pidgeon hole beauty products, although even here it is the people we meet into diffic_ult to find the line. Is using them, yet the 21st century is cond1t1oner over a 2-in-1 the criteria? Or MOST seeing a new revolution. Has per~aps.having both a face and a body the masculinist movement m01stur:ser? Or maybe even owning arrived? mo1stunser at all? Lipbalm? Tinted Clothes/style The metrosexual male is a lipbalm? new concept, defined by Teeth/smile With so many questions, we wanted urbandictionary.com as "An answers We ran a survey of 160 people to Height urban male with a strong see whe~e you felt men were crossing the weight/build aesthetic sense, who spends a borders mto metrosexuality.What is great deal of time and money Hair considered socially acceptable and what on his appearance and are society's expectations of male and Complexion lifestyle". Metrosexual is also female behaviour? ~escribed as being homo~exual in every way LEAST except m sexual orientation" which is loaded with words: Evelyn Prysor-Jones and Suisse stereotypes of a gay (and not Osborne-James lesbian) person's behavioural photography: Ed Barton MUSIC 04 09 Lou Rhodes Spanish guitars with futuristic synths and dramatic drum beats to create an 'There for the Taking' Baron intimidating, post-apocalyptic sound whilst j 'Love Sh room' could easily be a Beatles track Extremely Sorry OST had they taken too much acid and ' inadvertently added synths and FX to 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'. The rest of the Norah Jones meets Bic Runga in Lou Rhodes' c~ tracks range from techno influenced angelic, floating vocals. Accompanied only by a f-eatunng a host of coJlaborative artists floorfillers such as the Prodigy-esque 'Scream simple acoustic guitar riff and VIOiin , simple mclucling Lemmy Kilmister rom Motorhead my Name', the Black Sabbath-in-the-21st tools ..:rcate a richness that is distmctly sincere, and Slayer's Dave Lombardo, the soundtrack century industrial thrasher 'Process of not saccharine. The song is fuU ofhaw1tingly to Flip Skateboards' hugely anticipated third Extinction' and the atmospheric acoustics seductive melancholy, united with a ly1ical film Extremt'iy Somroffers fifteen original and piercing guitar licks of 'Bum Out Like exploration of Carp<' Diem tracks. Each song m'atches one skater' part Fireflies'. words: Amy Powell Yeates in the film, and encompasses a broad array of All the tracks provide such a vivid Asobi Seksu musical styles from drum & bass, techno and soundscape that it makes you want to dust dance to hard rock and metal. 'Layers· never heard 'Ace of Spades'. Rizarrely, off that deck and hit the skate park or, for The soundtrack begins with i-:UP owne1, those who can't stand on a skateboard for film d1recto1 and pro skater Geoff Rowley though, the song actually works: Lemmy's raw vocal style is belied by a t nder fragility, more than two seconds, at least listen to the reciting the lyrics to a verse of Motorhead's soundtrack as you crack out the Tony Hawk 'Orgasmatron' with Lemmy, followed by a superbly complimented by the drumming of Lombardo. on PS2 and attempt to launch off a fan belt, cover of Ben E. King's 'Stand by Me'. do a 720 grab-trick and set fire to a flock of What the fuck is this? For a band responsible for featuring Lemmy and Lombardo. This It's tracks like this that separate Extremely some of the best shoegaze of the last few years, Sorry from the com rnercial fodder of your seagulls before finally landing ma quarter immediately makes you think two things: pipe in Barcelona. Whilst riding a mechanical this effort is quite the drop in quality. Opening 1) How is it that Lemmy is still alive and average soundtrack: it's unique and not with some cringewort:by festive beU~. over which afraid to try new things or break established bull. f'll go grab my board... making music? and 2) Whoever's idea it was words: Jacob Mignano the lead singer's vocals sound sickly sweet, it all to have him sing 'Stand by Me' has clearly boundanes. 'When Is Now' intertwines brings to mind an embarrassing attempt at a Christmas cash-in. words: Dan Lester Thyrd Eye Jon Gomm Stereophon ics Dead 'Say Something' Don't Pante Keep Calm and Confederate Carry On e Remember back.in 2008, when all those Welsh teenagers were killing themselves? 'I11yrd Eye are probably the only kids in the village that In a post Clapton, Vaughan and Hendrix Welsh rockers Stereophonics have been around Over the last decade, Americana has become a survived. Sounding like every shit vaguely gothic dystopia, there seems to be a significant lack of for so long without having brought out anything far less specialist concern; from Drive-By Kerrang! -reading teenage band you saw at your vi1tuoso guitarists. Even fewer of these of note since 2001's Just Enough Educ;ition to Truckers' Soutl1em rock operas to Fleet Foxes school's talent night, the best thing about Thyrd grntarists reside in Leeds, save just one: Jon Perform, that you'd be forgiven for thinking pastoral folk symphonies, Dixie chic has become Eye is their name. And that's crap. Gomm. Gomm and contemporaries such as Erik them in-elevant. lf not. their seventh studio all the rage. With that in mind, a band named words: Tom Bush Mongrain are on a mission to revolutionise album Keep Calm and Cany 011 twelve tracks Dead Confederate turning up at the decade's guitarplaymg with elaborate techniques. Gomm of uninspiring, mind-numbingly bland, middle· end should figure as some kind of generic Kid Harpoon uses his guitar as a bass. a drum and, obviously, a of the road wank might just do the trick. masterclass, and Wrecking Ball certainly ticks 'Once guitar to create a ve1y convincing one man band. Excruciatingly over-produced, the album boxes: Neil Young indebted vocals, asludgefeast Openmg track WaterfaU' sees Gomm contains nothing likely to win new fans and of gwtars and a tonent of whiskey-soaked lyrics. franbcally popping and slapping his guitar whilst every chance of alienating the old oner. Unfortunately, what Wrecking Ball lacks is a somehow maintatninga steady beat and soaring Stereophon.ics have been described as"classic killer tune, plodding along with purpose, but chord progressions. It's hard to believe this is the UK rock delivered with whiskey vocals:· but here little in the way of a hook. For every swaggering The ferociously quirky Kid Harpoon is gone, work of one man and one guitar, and by some Kelly Jones sounds more Tesco's own brand 'Goner', there's an affected screecher like the seemingly replaced by a man whose youth was miracle, he also manages to sing atop all this than Jack Daniels. The wall of guitars notable in almost unbearable 'Heavy Petting'. Sometimes drowned in Phil Collins' back catalogue. Tlus brilliance. Unfortunately it isn't that brilliant, earlier classics like 'Dakota' and Vegas Two the sprawl works: the aying slide guitar of 'It unbearably bland, over-produced ballad is full of akin to a poor man's Seth Lakeman. However, Times' are completely stripped back. revealing Was a Rose' sounds like a stetson-clad Trail of romantic cliches and possibly the most pointless it's forgivable from someone who plays tl1e the weakness of Jones' vocals. As a result, the Dead, while The News Undemeath"s hypnotic piano solo in pop history. Putting this track on guitar with the dexterity of a rubber octopus. band's early sound is utterly lost. riffage sits unsettlingly atop a compellingly more than its self-defined once was impossible. Unfortunately where Gomm's guitar playing is But the real atrocities of the album are its moody desert soundscape. However, the Crazy words: Ed Dodson highly original. the san1e cannot be said of his honibly, horribly awful lyrics. Opener 'She's Horse stylings of the twelve-minute 'Flesh lyrics. Whilst songs such as 'Gloria' are sugar Alright' begms "Sandy was from out of Covered Canvas' sound like they need to be put New Rhodes coated by Gomm's prowess, beneath the sugar Town/And I met her at the beach/She drove a to pastme; the expected guitannageddon never 'Ouando Quando lies the acrid taste of cheap lyricism. Lines like "I wine Mondeo ride/Which I thought was kinda arrives, leaving you frustrated when the tension Ouando' remember that kiss/It was a moment of pure cheap," and gets worse from there. You'd expect never turns to release. bliss" wouldn't even make an Asda Smart Price better from a five year old. Meanwhile 'Trouble' Wrecking Ball is a promising first album. but anniversary card and statements such as"[ don't harks back to a particularly nauseating and just seems like the songwriting isn't quite there 6 need no food/Just give me Gloria" seem cheesy school disco tune [ed: Nothing wrong yet; indeed, the bonus tracks which dose the LP, Ah, the novelty single: always a big seller and conceited and cliched. What are you going to do, with a bit ofShampoo .. .]. while 'I've Got Your presumably recorded after its 01iginal 2008 (almost) always involving Peter Kay. Still, Jon? You going to eat her, are you? Number' defiantly states "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, release, show great progress, especially the God only knows why pretentious indie types If there was a song that encapsulated what 8/You told me lies tight to my face." Harsh stuff. ferocious 'Shadow the Walls', a cavernous, New Rhodes have decided to cover Engelbert Don't Pan1cwas about it would be Wake Up!', a Ultimately. when you name your album after distorted behemoth, which closes with a Humperdinck's 'Quando Quando Quando'. four-minute blast of richly impressive guitar a World War TI propaganda poster, it shows a scorching solo from fantastically-named manipulation that prides itself on its hammer Inane and downright stupid, you could get real lack of creativity, the result showing a band guitarist Walker Howle. If DC can keep honing ons, pull-offs, fiddly trills, difficult rakes, precise really mean about this single, if only it wasn't that has completely run out of ideas. Only buy it their craft like this, it may not be long before glissando, harmonic tapping and, thankfully, no recorded for charity to laugh at the hideously bad lyrics. Or as a cure they take up their longed for place as one of the more than four lines oflyncs. for insomnia. words: Ben Taylor leading lights of New Bearded America words: Simon Rowbotham words: Jacob Mignano words: Alex Wisgard i t= COLUMN ¥EAR OF JHE DU_B? every track inside out - and although their dilated pupils and dilated trilbies are more DJ Scotch Egg striking than their dance moves, there is far from a shortage of movement in the Brudenell Social audience. This is only heightened when Ishihara jumps off his worryingly wobbly speaker stack or throws himself, back first, Club ~ into the crowd and mashes with his ardent ,.:j, ·11 uo fans as erratically and aggressively as only a short Japanese bitcore performer can. FIVE REASONS WHY 2009 WAS TIIE YEAR Insane confrontational chiptune with a Aside from his justified impatience when THAT MADE DUBSTEP ponytail from Japan (via Brighton). The the power fails half way through the set opening earsplitting feedback wail appropriately just after he's joined by a Mac 1. Skream's remix of La Rowe's 'In For The Kill' establishes the tone nicely for this well toting right-hand man, Scotch Egg displays was the genre's stealthy infiltration of the pop attended, well-danced-to set. pure stage presence tonight (without once mainstream. Bringing the underground to the Attacking his Boss MetalZone pedal as if setting foot on the stage), and this is capped masses by turning the red-haired one's single it has defiled his woman, screaming down off with the showering of the crowd in into one of the best tracks of the year, this was his Poundland microphone until he looks actual scotch eggs from Sainsbury's. As the the point when dubstep showed itself to be sniffed up. like he's going to vomit Red Bull final pounding Nintendo onslaught abruptly more than just another dance sub-culture but a The people here are on drugs. The people everywhere, and running around his in cuts off and the Brudenell floor empties, truly important, widespread youth movement. here who aren't on drugs look like they are front-of-stage table with impressive energy, victims of iminent grinding gabba 2. Snoop Dagg!! I mean Snoop Dogg for on drugs. The people who don't look like Ishihara thrashes out a collision of comedowns and the squashed remnants of godssake! When Tha Doggfa ther puts his seal of they are on drugs are going to take drugs convulsing Jap-gabba beats and mass scotch eggs strewn across it, all other genres approval on your style of music then you know soon. Anyhow, the people at the front are so appealing drum & bass hooks. His crazy seem really quite dull. you' re doing something great. close to DJ Scotch Egg that he can probably pointing and posing is perfect sync with the words: Michael Waters 3. And not just Snoop Dogg! Other West feel their breath, and a sizeable portion of eccentric oscillator/beat-repeat fills that Coast hip-hop heavyweights such as Xzibit and them seem to know every radical rhythm of bring to mind Richard D. James at his most Eve have got involved. It's the new British invasion, with producers such as Benga (above) and Chase & Status taking their trade across the pond. The sound of Croydon is reinvigorating W.A.S.P. Gary Numan Polar Bear and reinventing LA's rap scene. Academy Academy Howard Assembly 4. The genre is really pushing boundaries and 1 ~ l Room not restricting itself to its original definitions. Dubstep's influences are becoming more diverse, with producers searching for more 0 unique sounds to create new forms for the music, such as Rusko's 'jump-up' style. 5. The world's media · even the New York For a bunch of geezers that are gettmg on a bit, 'Yeah, because when robots eventu y o t Hailed for their innovative spanning of genres. Times - has caught on and given credibility to WAS.P. can still move and most certainly can over, they're gonna see Gary Numan like the Polar Bear are on the forefront of contemporary the fact that this underground artistic still play. Kicking it off with crowd favourite 'On Beatles. You know 'ow we're all like 'Fooking 'ell, British jazz. Despite drummer and bandleader movement is producing the most refreshing Your Knees' the band get straight into it, fit with the Beatles!' ... That's what the robots wiJ] be like Seb Rochford's introverted stage presence, the music on the planet right now, as well as being two-inch wrist spikes and huge light shows. about Gary." This is the theory put forward by band are incredibly slick, but with a professional the most alluring culture for dance-loving youth There's no denying that these guys are one portly, middle-aged, drunken, Kraftwerk playfulness not often seen in contemporary jazz. in the Western world. professionals; each member knows how to get ignoring. loveable Northerner in the Academy Their inventiveness can sometimes be the most out of their instrument and are crowd. alienating; 'Tomlovesalicelovestom' breaks FIVE REASONS WHY2009 WAS TIIE YEAR perfectly in tune with each other. As the night Tonight, Numan works his way through his down halfway through into a five-minute duet THAT KILLED DUBSTEP wears on. shapes are pulled, sweat drips, guitar classic 1979 album The Pleasure Prindple. On of saxophone squeals and a slowly-deflated necks are lit up with LEDs and make-up record these songs are great, but live they need a balloon. However, there's never a sense of 1. Skream's remix of La Rowe's 'In For The Kill' smudges as they bust out old classics such as heavier oomph to shine. On record, 'Metal', pretension, and the band still favour melodic was the genre selling its soul to the pop 'Wild Child', 'L.O.V.E. Machine', 'Chainsaw 'M.E.' and 'Films' are close to industrial pop content over pure free improvisation. Their mainstream, leaving the underground to chase Charlie' and 'I Wanna Be Somebody'. Cheeky perfection, but tonight the synths emanate dualistic nature is key to the show, as they keep the pound by clinging on to the back of one of glances between bandmates suggest that they around the Academy without the impetus they one foot in the past with classic song structures the trendiest and most successful quirky female still love what they do; and so they should, the deserve, whilst the guiµrists mope about the while also employing progressive elements. popstars of all of 2009's trendy and successful crowd is in awe. stage with idle thumbs. Though it's sacrilegious Like any good rock band, they play favourites quirky female popstars. This is the point when Well, most of the crowd is. They are amazing to admit it, the energy only really kicks in when from their previous two albums, but about half dubstep showed itself to be just another at what they do, but it's what they do that's the his more recent NIN-aping rawk is played. Freed the concert is given to new material. Thus, the commercialized dance sub-genre ready for total problem. The songs are pretty hard to from keyboards, Gary struts around, twirling his lines between improvisation and strictly-written immersion in the pop mainstream. distinguish between one another and after an fingers in the air like a grandiloquent fairy. It's material become ever more blurred. Perhaps the 2 Snoop Dogg! ! I mean Snoop Dogg for impressive start, the novelty soon wears thin; ultra-contrived, overly bombastic and exactly most revolutionary thing is the way in which godssake! This man does not have good taste there are only so many times you can get away what a live performance should be. Polar Bear assimilate the experimental to the anymore. Soul Plane, anyone? with power-chords backing harmony-driven Returning to older material whilst point of normalisation; there's never any sense 3. And not just Snoop Dogg! Other washed choruses. As a metal band, self-indulgent guitar maintaining the vigour, he eventually knocks of gimmickry. All-round technical wizard up and now-talentless former hip-hop solos are-obligatory, and rightly so, but even hair out a flawless 'Down in the Park' and closes with Leafcutter John never dominates the mix, heavyweights like Xzibit and Eve are also metal has limits. Come on mate, even Mick an inspired rendition of'Are "Friends" Electric?'. instead acting as another instrumentalist devaluing dubstep's quality and art, as are the Mars doesn't push it that far. The volume is brought down to a sombre piano alongside the more traditional lineup. narrow-minded UK producers who think that If you' re after a decent '80s hair metal band, and spoken-word bridge, before launching full In fact, the only real criticism of the concert is this is a good way for the genre to progress, i.e. by all means go and see the wonder ofWAS.P. blast into the ice-cream van chorus. The crowd the venue itself- playing in more 'traditional' by chasing the American rap dollar. live. If you' re after something a bit more original goes ballistic, turning the melody that launched concert hall atmosphere with a fully seated 4. The genre has moved too far away from and epic, then it's worth the extra tenner to go the career of The Artists Formerly Known as audience and the half-time interval does slightly what it was originally all about. Plus, Rusko is an and see KISS or Motley Crue. All in all, a bit of a Sugababes into a laddish football anthem. A dampen the energy of the music. It is a annoying shit. one trick pony. And given how impressive slow-starting gig. then, but if you were to name testament. however, to the genre-bending 5. The New York Times? The Daily young guns The Glitterati were, one can almost your six favourite Numan n umbers, chances are power of a band that they can play successfully Telegraph? Daytime Radio 1? The press has hear the cries of'out with the old, in with the he played them tonight Not something he does in any environment. strangled the life and soul out of the genre. new'. words: Richard Blenkinsop regularly. words: Tom Bush photography: Richard Smith words: Luke Fear words: Will Hutchins MUSIC 04 09 - - L r us take a 'i1'Cond now to cor· 1d(:r the word 'indi ·. that qwtou and all <'nwmpas.aing buzzword that ,t'er·1 t" butfet tlit t'tond we wake up in the morning. "flev vou woke up th1:, moming' n12t !> well i11cl1c matef'' 'Baco111s ,n mam m earn. It is 'oa.,t that,~., indief'' The die tfon.:iry dt>fineo, 'hcue· ,1S music .. ~'1at i unattiliated witl1 a lar ('1 01 more commt'1cial organiz.1tion", and in its pur(•st en: 'inclie' is a genre fr e horn corpordte ties. Increasingly. though, c , Wt ti•1d flash pan "1p ind.ie band' , •;ch as White Lies ,md • 1e P•g,•on Dt""tect1ve<; becom111g f-tnther lodged dOlvn our l roat. undt:r the 'indie' 11K11 iker, people are bec01uhg increasingly enamou1 ed with r enraged by it. Ewryone knows ,it least one sanctimoniou. b ,l] C;nd tl1.it 1s just that liltlP bit too ool for school As the old Joke goes· "l low many indie kids doC's ke to crew in a light bu1b7'' 'You mean v.ou don't know?" l ndit is be, ornmg more and r>iore things 0 111orC' and rr,Mt' people lndie is that band you haven't he..ird of. i nd.ie is that band you ha.ve ~eard of Indie i t..he Womba c. Indit is Cry ta. Stilt". lndie i a pair of skinny jeans lrorr Topman. lndie 1s that trendy new haircut "Slut! He's shaveJ tht> sides ofh1s hai1 off Mt'gdl" Ind1e is that twat with the fn11ge lndie is the laugh you hear when you tell your contemptuously trendy friends that you like Snow Patrol. lnd.ie doesn't read the NME. Jndie is tl1e NME. Indie certainly isn't signed to Sony. l ndie just signed to Sony. l ndie is that trendy new C sid, by My Roar Hindley released only as an office spreadsheet on a beta max cac;settl! made of nougat. lndie 1s the queasy feeling you get in your stomach when you've seen the word 'indie' 25 times (and counting) in an article, and heck, if you've drunk enough Red Stripe, even For a Sunday night, there is an impressive Finally the utterly delicious Karen O takes us to 'Rich' as well as 'Gold Lion', before the your vomit will beindie. buzz in the air at the Academy. But it is for to the stage in a white and red cape, looking giant eyeball rotates to become a giant moon, Who even knows what indie is anymore? ls it the Yeah Yeah Yeahs after all a band tllat every inch the high priestess that she is by and blue confetti explodes from the sky in music? Is it a hat? ls it a packet of crisps? Can I inspire a passionate dedication in the hearts the way Karen, if you really are a time for the opening strains of 'Cheated wear it? Can I eat it? That cat. Is tllat cat indie? of their followers. Scientologist, we forgive you. Touring with Hearts' begin. New tracks like 'Skeletons' and He's the cat's meow. He's cool for cats. That cat Before we get to see the New York trio in the band is guest guitarist David Pajo, as well 'Soft Shock' showcase the band's ability to is so last year. Ravens are the new cats but don't real hfe, however, we must endure dance a gigantic eyeball, whicl1 floats in the air for mix romance and energetic punk, helped no crow on about it or people will catch on. Ind.ie is punk band Duchess Says. If Yeah Yeah Yeahs the entire night, circled by glittering blue doubt by Karen O's wonderful vocals, but it's writing this intensely hypocritical article because were an entertaining (and ridiculously cool) rings. The latest album It's Blitz! was slightly their classic love song 'Maps' that makes the you're too chuffing alternative to sit down, shut magician, Duchess Says would be the female underwhelming on record, but the dramatic wonder of the evening complete, and that up and listen to Florence and the Machine like assistant who is meant to be attractive and crescendo of set opener 'Runaway' proves comes before the band delight their fans with all the other good little girls and boys who place mysterious but really just looks like a that the album's electro vibe works well in an encore of'Y Control', 'Tum Into' and 'Date their hands around their ankles, cover cheap ... well, you get the idea. The clearly concert with garage rock. The band have such With the Night'. themselves in treacle and roly-poly around crazy lead singer inspires several people to impressive on stage energy, however, that During pa rt of the set, Karen 0 Urban Outfitters looking for that 'ind.ie' look. say quite audibly, "She's just a wannabe they could persuade you that anything they hypnotically swings her mic cord, which Inevitably though we're all going to die and Karen O!", which is true, though it's still fun do is amazing. The combination of the appears to have some kind of religious nobody is going to give a damn how 'indie' to see her run into the audience and piss off floating eyeball, Karen O's charisma, and the looking red fabric attached to it. Chances are anybody is or was. Nobody is going to write on the bouncers. She screams "'Open the fucking energy on and offstage makes tile whole we may have all been converted to my tombstone: "Here lies Simon Rowbotllam. light!" several times because she wants to affair seem like a glorious pagan ritual. Then Scientology ... but after a gig like this, little He had heard ofButcher Boy." But hey, look on "see the people." Still, when she tells tile we find ourselves chanting "Heads will roll!" things like free will fade into insignificance. A the bright side. Being dead is the new being crowd that we've '"had enough" at the end of and it starts looking like we will, indeed, magic show, from beginning to end. (9) alive. It worked for Ian Curtis. Although, at the Lhe set, it comes as a relief; amusing as dance till we're dead. time of publication. Steven Gately is not yet having beer thrown on you by frightening The band play a good balance of songs words: Tabitha Thorlu-Bangura ind.ie French-Canadian women is, we had. from each of their brilliant albums, and treat photography: Charlotte Sintrat words: Simon Rowbotham - NO SELL OUT FASHION 1 04-1)09- - ~ t's ••• Across the holiday we can all look forward to extravagant spending, gluttonous feasting and cutting mad shapes to the musical genius of Wizzard. Seeing as there's more opportunity to dress up and shop at Christmas, the fashion team come bearing gifts: a seasonal 4-page pullout that we hope will get you in the spirit. Deep down we all know Christmas parties will peak early and climax with embarrassing group huddles and communal singsong. Looking sharp can go some of the way to excusing such undignified behaviour, so our last shoot of the year samples glamorous outerwear and embellished accessorising to mark the start of the party season. Buying gifts can be challenging at the best of times, so we've also included a selection of stylish gift ideas that will please even the most hardcore fashionistas. Merry Christmas from Fashion HQ, and see you in the January sales. words: Tom Purdie In this instance, all that glitters is definitely gold. Not only are sequins very current at the moment, the festive season also allows you to brandish as many show-stopping sparkles as possible. However, there is a fine line between successful razzle dazzle and Las Vegas showgirl OTI. Pair this dutch with a figure-bugging, black long-sleeved dress with this season's shoulder pads for a glamourous party look. words: Anna Temby background image: Charlotte Sint:rat Only th high street could make the r~ession fashionable. Still struggling with the effects of the credit crun , the high treet is facing a difficult Christmas period. With customers less willing to part with their money shops have to go the extra mile to drum up trade. Usually shops wait till-just before Christnias, or of course JUSt er, to put sales on but this yearthey'v startedearlierthan ever. Harr kickeaitalloffwitha10% discount weekend back at the beginning of November and now the high street is following in its footsteps. It's not hard to miss all the sale signs in the windows. but luckily it's not all the ghastly, end-of-season junk you Sequin Embellished Animal Top, The Satorialist by Scott Schuman, Gold Clock Pendant, Urban Outfitters, £28 Miss usually find in the sales! The following are the Selfridge, £38 www.amazon.co.uk, £11.96 pick of the best. Po ibly the mo taxitalizing offer on at the mo tis the upto ~ off heels deal in Office; ju.st in time forthe start of the party season. From massi on-trend Fashionable ·gifts for the F tiv a on two-tone ;platforms to sexy 1 pard print heels and gladiator sandals, there is definitely a pair of shoes to suit everyone, with a range of 8.iscounts This offer is also online at www.office.co.uk. Faith is also offering up to half price off boots, for those who can't quite hack heels. In the run up to Christmas and New Y , it' important to keep warm (especially in sh1dent houses with dodgy central heating!). Why not snuggle up in New Look's £12 knitwear, with stripy cardigans and cowl-neck jumpei:s galore. And if anyone, like me, is stillfindingit hard to'find a winter jacket, panic no longer. Topshop his select d coa for £40 and £50. Amongst the selection, there is a imple black one that will go with anything, or for those feeling a little more outrageous, a tartan duffle coat with a faux-fur lined hood. With all these savings, perhaps you'll even have some money left over to buy Mum a nice cardie in the Astral Dress, Vicky Martin, £140 House of Harlow 14k Gold Plated Sunburst Galaxy Dress, Vicky Martin, £155 Monsoon sale. Cocktail Ring, Paper Scissor Stone, £51 words ; Sophia Goodall background image: Charlotte Sintrat article conception: Joanna Gyamera SHOOT - 04 l09 - - A 'n the deta's Indulge in embellishments this December as sequins, feathers, beading and lace resume their annual spot at the top of everyon~·s wishlist. But festive fashion needn't mean a glitter overdose. Louis Vuitton, Phillip Lim and Lanvin (among others) showed romantic, Parisian inspired looks in their a/w collections, and the high street l1as followed suit. A striking dress paired with towering heels is always chic, so give the look a new-season spin by referencing velvet, which has made a triumphant return to the fashion forefront this winter. But don't feel limited to dresses when it comes to high-impact style - tuck a casual tee into a heavily embellished skirt or flirt with androgyny in tuxedo-inspired pieces. The final touches are a whimsical, sequin-studded, heaart-shaped purse or an oversized clutch, with a vintage fur coat to protect from the cold. Words: Caitlin Leslie Models: [mogrn Roy. Jane Woodvme and Olivia Cadoni Photography: Charlotte Sintrat and Richard Smith Styling: Caitlin Ll!slie and Amy Peacock Wilh many thanks to Mook for allowing us to shoot in theit bar. where cocktails are 2 4 1 with a student card (excluding Fri and Sat nights) l mogen Qeft) wears sh1 mmer pa nel dress, £150, Whistles Olivia (centre) wears reformed tuxedo racer, £55, and high-waistd trousers, £48, both from Urban Outfitters Jane (right) wears Ya Ya Norn De Plume racerback, £50, Urban Outfitters and feather skirt. £65, ASOS Abow right: Jane Oefl) wears lace dress. £59, Mango and feaLher clutd1, £25, ASOS Imogen (right) wears cropped tuxedo jacket, J.100, Kate Moss for Topshop, cotton tank. £20 and J1arn necklace, £38, both fmm Urban Outfitters. and organza skirt, £35, ASOS Above left: Olivia Cleft) wears dress. f:J 20, French Connection and he11rt-,;hap •d bag, £32, Urban Outfitkrs Jane (right) weats velvet apphque diess, f..69.90, Zara Left Imogen wears fur jacket, £50, Best Vmtage BDG silk top, £38, Urban Outfitters. Damask patterned clutch, £65, French Connection. Tro1.1$ers, J:35. Zara. • .. • • • JEWELLERY._.... ------4 041 09 Golden Charms A magpie's dream. Delicate girlie chains contrasted with chunky state men t pieces, ]q.yered for maximum fes tive effect. Main: Two indentity tag necklaces, £45 each, No.15 Boutique Bolivia beaded necklace, £12, Accessorize Flower stem necklace, £14, Vintage compass necklace, £18, Silver jewelled multi-strand neck lace, £38, all Urban Outfitters. Top and pottorn: Spoons necklace, £45, No.15 Bou tique Plaited chain necklace, £26, Urban Outfitters Bauble necklace, £14, Ribbon rings necklace, £16, both Accessorize Centre left: • Amber crystal charm necklace, £35, No.15 Boutique Looped bronze necklace, £28, Urban Outfitters photograph}') Richard Smith styling. Charlie Bland and Louise Donovan model: Sally Crewe words: Charlie Bland and Louise Donovan • • • ARTS -04 09 BALLET Leeds Grand Theatre until 10/12 ~ I often find myself becoming something of a Scrooge during the winter months, when Christmas begins earlier and earlier each year. However as soon as the calendar flips to the first of December I shrug off my apathetic layer and unplug my ears to welcome all fes tive cheer. A ballet may not spring irnmedi ately to mind as one for the to do list, and it's not for everyone, but this unpretentious and entertaining production of A Christmas Carol is an essential ingredient to Christmas in Leeds this year. As the orchestra began to play, snow fell and mist swirled, and the Dickensian street became alive with barefooted children, ladies in heavy skirts and bonnets, and men in top hats and tail coats, all breaking into a happy Jig-like dance. Enter Scrooge, with Bill Bailey hair and a witch's face, a misanthropic figure who came as a relief from the sometimes mindnumbing merriness of the other cha rac ers, especially his clerk Bob Cratch.it. The ghosts of Christmas past, present and future become more and more elaborate m costume, with the last one appearing as a hybrid between a giant bird and a human which, although striking. seemed to limit h1s dancing capabilities to swirling his feathers. Stangely, all ghosts performed a Shakira esgue snake hip shake which was amusing, if a little incongruous to the typically Dicken sianworld. Other comic moments provided an ti dotes to Scrooge's doom and gloom, such as when Scrooge and the ghost of Christmas past look back at him as a young man, and watch a dance led by a rather mebria ted man and a large woman in a large bonnet, who spend more time on top of each other han dancing. The comedy was well balanced with, for example, the next sequence depicting the breakup of the young Scrooge and his fiance. Here. dance rather than words were more poignant in their portrayal of heartbreak. Leaping from his bed and dancing for the first time, the transformative moment when Scrooge awakes from this nightmare as a gen erous man affected with Chrishnas cheer pro vides the ballet with i • climactic highlight. Pirouetbng across the stage, his sprightly dancing is a release of vitality, a shock for a man so apparently old Moments like this form the basis of A Christmas Carols success in bringing Christ mas cheer to its young and old audience. The happy-clappy ending struck me as perhaps FILM just slightly over sentimental, but that could just be the Scrooge in me. L ( ( ly ~ "'l( r words: Evie Dunne DOO Saoirse Ronan stars as Susie, demonstrating In true Jackson style, the film is beautifully Peter Jackson delivers his firs t directorial offer beautifully the vulnerability and fragility of her shot with epic scenes of stunning landscapes as ~gsince 200S's King Kongwith this adapta character. During the pivotal murder scene Susie explores the 'inbetween' of heaven and tJon of Alice Sebold's bestselling book The Ronan is able to make eve1y girl in the audi Earth. It is here that the Oscar winning direc lovely Bones. The film foll ows the story of 14 ence experience her terrifying fear. Recently tor comes into his element, effectively employ· year old Susie Salmon, watching over her fami nominated for the Best Supporting Actress mg awesome CGI to depict the changing world ly from a sort of heaven after being brutally Oscar, and now with this wonderful perform in which Susie is stuck. Changing from dense, murdered by her neighbour. ance, Ronan continues to prove herself to be a green forests to dazzling glaciers, the 'in be _As Jackson recognised, the book itself is not starin the making. tween' at first seems to be a place of dreams. written to be made into a film. And unfortu Susan Sarandon plays Susie's drink-swig However, as Susie watches her family crumble, nately it shows. Adapted by Jackson and his ging pill popping grandmother who is a vehicle so too does this world around her. Lord o~ ~e Rings writing partners, Fran Walsh for comic relief in this often depressing and Fans of the novel may leave the cinema feel a~~hihppa Boyens, the film drops almost all emotive film. At first appearing to be a domes ing short-changed by Jackson's omission of a 0 e book's sub-plots and rushes through tic tragedy, Sarandon's character ends up being numberofkey plot points, but with many tip many others. the only character capable of holding this bro ping the film for award success those who have By attempting to obtain a 12A rating and ken family together. However, as with many not read the book can enjoy the film for what 1t market the film to a wider audience the film other characters, most notably Susie's mother is: a story of life and death and how to cope shffers greatly. The novel's immedi~te and (Rachel Weisz). her storyline within the book with the inbetween. s 0cking depiction of the murder is hurried goes much deeper and it is a pity that such oalver tn the film, with the rape being omitted great actresses are denied the chance to really together. delve into their characters. words: Fiona Lamont ARTS 04 09 - COMMENT FILM l 11s at the -,ate t religion and therefore did not deserve the Last month my mother unwittingly shepherded financial support of a Olristian state. Although I have to admit to having a bit of a my youngest sibling into one of the largest legal his censorial diktat was eventually overturned by penchant for these handheld-camera type porn exhibitions in London. She had hoped that a federal judge and the money restored to the films. Blair Witch Project had my 12-year popping along to the Tate Modem on a half-term museum, this incident speaks volumes about the old self terrified for weeks, whilst the trip would make her something of a model often tenuous divide between secular and more excellent [Rec] had a similar effect on me parent, the kind who teaching staff admire for intervening styles of government. The trouble last year. Hell, I even thought that JJ culturally indoctrinating their children. with censorship is that as soon as a bureaucrat Abrams' poorly received monsterfest Unfortunately she returned to Wiltshire labels an artwork 'offensive', we as the public Clover6eld was pretty excellent, so I wondering what kind of a person she was, with a must ask "offensive to whom?" should love the ultra-low budget Paranormal Activity, right? bruised ego and a warning from the gallery In 1933 the government of the Third Reich formal Playing off a fear of the unknown, after Robs wouldn't stop taking photos of the branded all Serrri tic art 'offensive to Germans'. In Paranormal Activity focuses on a couple, exhibited flesh on his iPhone, "to show Ben!" the 1960s the government of China announced Micah and Katie, after Micah buys a video After I'd wiped the tears oflaughter from my that all forms of art were bourgeois and 'offensive camera to investigate the source of strange face, this story got me thinking about the place of to communism'. The mass destruction of sounds they hear in the night. censorship in the modem art world. Oearly the painting. sculpture and literature that followed The camera begins to pick up an unseen whole school art-project/porn debacle was mainly these incidents provides a frightening example of presence, which acts as a more subtle, my mother's fault, given that she failed to check what can be lost in the name of cultural clever source of fear than monsters or the what the controversial Pop Life exhibition would censorship. undead. The home video style footage, involve. But at a time when artistic When one considers the devastating effect often of nothing more than a static representations of religion, sex and war cause that institutional edicts on taste have had overnight view of a single room, causes the viewer to carefully scrutinize every shot daily protests across the globe, it is timely and throughout history, it becomes glaringly obvious claim that the exhibition does not provide a for moving shadows or ruffling bed important to ask whether institutions should that we cannot trust individual officials to make legitimate illustration of twenty-first century life. sheets. have the responsibility and power to clap a hand decrees on artistic validity. Even in the free and My teenage brother was surprised to see such across the public's eyes, to protect us from the cosmopolitan 'haven' of our own count::ly it is It is a testament to the film's success things in a museum, but he will certainly have that the audience reacted with shrieks and beast we called artistic expression. astounding how much significant film, theatre, been exposed to similar images through [n 1999, the New York Mayor Rudolph and art would have been abolished if certain jumps after something as minor as a door television, media and the internet. My mother slamming. The scares are slow-building, Giuliani cut $7 million ofgoverrunent funding bureaucrats had their way. wanted Robbie to become more aware of his from the Brooklyn Museum after they launched Censorship of art is always a crime. Where an though the final sequence provides a cultural surroundings, and in this respect at least stunning climax of faces walking out of Sensation, an exhibition featuring Chris Ofili's artist's job is to hold up a mirror to society, then their visit to the Tate Modem was a complete the screening, alight with bizarre painting. The Holy Virgin Mary. Giuliani claimed the public must be prepared to meet a sometimes success. expressions of joyous terror. that Ofili' s intricate depiction of a black Madonna ugly reflection. Pop Life may have been shocking. Pop Life is showing at Tate Modem, London, With dramatic hyperbole and rendered in elephant dung and surrounded by but with pornography (in its various forms) until 17 January 2010 descriptions such as 'one of the scariest semi pornographic images was a direct attack on dominating so much of digital culture one cannot words: Tilly Michell films of all time', and Steven Spielberg claiming it to be terrifying, Paranormal THEATRE FILM Activity was never going to live up to the hype. The film ends just as things are /\ t really getting going, and whilst the acting from the lead pair is believable, the characters themselves are too irritating to The Old Vic, London until 20/12 Hyde Park Picture House 29/11 feel empathy for. Like The Blair Witch Project before it, ~DD ~ Paranormal Activity is sure to divide perfect opposition, sickeningly pompous and audiences into two distinct camps of What do you get if you cross a monkey with self-righteous, but still convincing in his own What better way to spend a Sunday lovers and haters, and it would be easy to Kevin Spacey?Trevor Nunn's Old Vic belief that there is an authenticity in his afternoon than with tea, cakes and avant dismiss it as merely 'good for a low production of Jerome Lawrence and Robert E convictions. garde cinema? i:'irst up is the 10 minute budget'. However, it is clearly more than Lee's lnherit the Wind cal1s both of these Regardless of the official conclusions of Index by Gregory Kurcewicz, consisting this: one of the freshest and most figures to the stage (there is a real monkey), the court, Drummond is undoubtedly the simply of a series of index cards with intelligently crafted horror flicks of the arguing that the link between the two is winner. Spacey's Drummond is clear and typewritten messages from the director, set year. inextricable through its wider exploration of rational; Trough ton's Brady is vague and to a seemingly random soundtrack. words: Dan Lester the human condition. stubborn. However, as Spacey places a copy Kurcew1cz's breaking of the fourth wall and The script - which is far from a secularist of The Holy Bible in one hand and The Ongin his attempts to deconstruct the medium of diatribe - bases its fictionalised characters, of Spedesin the other in the finally empty film are bold, but ultimately come off as locations and events on the controversial courtroom, this production makes it fiercely feeling futile and unsatisfying. Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925, in which a clear that this is not a battle between Beatrice Gibson's sets school teacher was taken to court for evolution and theology, but a reconciliation A Necessary Music teaching Darwinism to his pupils. In the play, of diversity. Drummond's fight is for the about exploting the social history of the prosecution of teacher Bertram Cates is right to human thought, the same thought Roosevelt [sland in New York. The film is represented by lawyer Mathew Harrison that constructed the courtroom he pensively told by the residents of the island, and the Brady, a devout Christian fundamentalist shuffles out of. fractured narrative is representative of the fervently opposed to evolution. Volunteering many different inhabitants' lives. for the defence is Mr Henry Drummond, After a brief interval for tea and cakes defender of the poor and renowned for his words:Amy Powell Yeates (baked by the event organizers) comes Carl libertarian views. The second act focuses Brown's Blue Monet, a 56 minute homage to entirely on this heated trial while the first the impressionist painter. The film consists half establishes the operations, values and of rapid shots of flowers, water, swimmers relationships of the tightly knit Hillsboro and birds all chemically altered to produce a community. dazzling psychedelic effect. While definitely Serious and impending though this not suitable for epileptics, the effect is message is, the play has an undeniably light beautifully mesmerizing, and at no point hearted feel. The chorus are consistently does the the film become boring, lively and Mark Dexter's performance of the emphasizing gradual textural change over journalist Hornbeck. is wonderfully straight time. Set to a selection of music by ambient laced and without emotion, his verbose music pioneer Brian Eno, the minimalist metaphorical language laced in irritating but intensely comical alliterative anecdotes. influences are clear; instead of ever reaching It seems impossible to imagine anyone any climactic moment, the film exists as a more suited to the role of Henry Drummond cycle of images that never claims to be than Spacey, who manages a great sense of anything more than representational beauty. dignity alongside an underlying sense of personal troubling. David Troughton is his words: Tom Bush ART Leeds Art Gallery until 21 /02/201 O distances to project an overlapping series of Finally, Rachel Goodyear produces finely Punk rock, dead rats, a stopped clock and two circles of light onto a blank wall, is subtly detailed, delicate drawings with disturbing old men in big hats: just a selection of the works beautiful. subject matter. Dead animals, deformed on display at this years N orthem Arts Prize. Nick Crowe and Ian Rawlinson provide humans and strange hybrids of the two Sketdrism: the Leeds Tealights The prize, currently in its third year, several video installations, all of which use a dominate, all illustrated in an intricate, almost 07 /12-10/12, 7.30 pm showcases artists living and working in the combination of shifting images and ambient charming fashion that seems reminiscent of Riley Smith Hall No1th ofEngland. Four finalists have been noise to strange, unsettling effect. Four some nightmarish children's book Of ilie four selected from a longlist of twenty-five, and the Horsemen shows four bunches of flowers being selected, her work was ilie standout in terms of Now in its fifth year, ilieTealightspresent eventual winner will receive £16,500. destroyed by flickering flames, the images sped originality, skill and depth. Sketchism, a brand new sketch comedy show Pavel Buchler specialises in the kind of up and mirrored so they seem to turn from lush There is someiliing here to please almost -only, this time there are girls, and they've got greenery to abstract, insectoid forms. anyone with an interest in contemporary art, minimal work it is tempting to dismiss with a ilie boys on a tight leash. This year is a wave of the hand and a comment that one could Matt Stokes' work focuses on musical and admissions to ilie exhibition are free. multimedia extravaganza (they have a Visitors can vote for their favourite at do better oneself. Certainly this philistine subcultures and the near-religious fervour of projector). With their trademark mixture of northemartprize.org.uk, though the judges will reviewer failed to find the meaning in the their followers. One piece involves a vast, dark black comedy and silly whimsy, there's make the final decision. display of a glass ashtray in a case, or a bottle of room and two large screens, one showing the something for everyone. But who will win in Jack Daniels balanced on top of an old tape audience at a gig and the oilier a band in the battle of the sketches .. ? recorder. rehearsal. The music is just noise, yet the films On tl1e other hand, the centrepiece, a series manage to come dose to capturing the energy words: Tim Boden photography: Darya A Papko 'The sketches are slick, brilliantly acted and of projectors set up at different heights and and atmosphere of a real gig. original'' - Chortle.co.uk Thoroughly Enjoyable'' - The Sun LUU PhotoScx: Exhibition 2009 Untilll/ 12 Parkinson Court PhotoSoc have been busy wiili their cameras. The results are stunning. Stop and take a look on your way to the Brotherton. Who Killed Romeo and Juliet? 07/12 - 12/12 7.30pm stage@leeds This is a Far Eastern take on ilie classic fated lovers' story, told using puppetry, music and THEATRE PREVIEW STAGE MUSICAL dance. What a collaboration of media! It is purely from a point of intrigue that I will be going (fm trying to in1agine ilie costumes). The romance implicit in this play comes just West Yorkshire Playhouse Riley Smith Hall, Until 06/ 12 in time for Christmas and the dreamers 11 /12/09- 23/01/10 ~{:] ', amongus. and I agreed that we wanted to go back to some Taking on such a well known and universally of the original stories which had elements of Okay, so everybody feels like iliey've known Sticks and Stones loved story as Cinderella should perhaps have darkness. I don't want to avoid that. If you're the lyrics and the dance routines of Grease 08/12 7.30 pm been a daunting prospect for director Gail treated the way Cinderella is then it is going to since birth, not least of all the infamous Strawbs Bar Mclntyre, yet she seems much more excited be quite a dark place." trademark 'Greased Lightning' arm action, but tl1a0 daunted. "I try not to think about how When asked how she would sum 1, U15e the SMS's brilliant production brings us something More poetic antics with Adan1 Z. Robinson oilier peopl have done it before. Cinderella is overall tone of ilie play McIntyre an · ,,. rs as traditional as it is different. As well as all of and Andy Craven Griffiths. Sadly, it's the last Just a fantastic story and one that I wanted to "excruciating, mesmerising and movin,;." the classics, iliere are songs that you won't Sticks and Stones of the year, but they've got tell." Sprinkling a little bit of fantasy owr Leeds, immediately recognise but will leave you their hands on current Glastonb~ Slam After e success of previous collaborations Cinderella is the perfect alternative Lo pan to this humming along by ilie end. The musical Champion Holly McNish. And shes the most such as Tiie Snow Queen and The Beautyand Christmas. director and her band provided an incredible prewiant poet tbat has graced Sn·awbs. If the Beas!, McIntyre has once again teamed up musical accompaniment throughout the show, thats not a reason to come along then maybe wiili award-winning writer Mike Kenny to bring from ilie scene changes to keeping up with ilie Adam Z.Robinson can entice you: "It's nearly another majpcal tale to ilie West Yorkshire fast pac~d dancing, really contributing to ilie Christmas so you might get a free mince pie! Playhouse. ' Mike is fascinated by fairytales and energenc atmosphere. But you might not. But you might!" tells stories in an evocative way. I'm interested in Evidently an immense amount of work has stories that aren't just dependent on words but words: Laura White been put into the choreography andjt shows. on images, stories that allow you to use your Amy Brown and Elan Isaac have created dances Christkindelmarl<.t imagination and Mike's writing forces you to be which are kaleidoscopes of hand jives, twists Until20/1210am-8pm imaginative." and kicks and have made ilie task of Millennium Square lndeed, together Kenny and McIntyre have manoeuvring such a big cast on a spatially built up an enviable reputation for staging lacking stage appear effortless. The singing was Brave ilie cold and get down to ilie German inventive and exciting productions for young spotless and in particular David Albury and Market for some Gli.ihwein to warm you up audiences. However, McIntyre found herself Amy Toole, Leeds' very own Danny and Sandy, inside. The stalls are picturesque, each with its getting into directing quite by accident. "I started anchor the show with big voices and a genuine own distinctly German speciality, and ilie as an actor and was in a play when the director rapport. Similarly, all of the T-birds and Pink bands in the marquee are not to be missed! was taken ill a week before rehearsals started. Ladies are well cast and are as funny as iliey are Ice-skating starts on 16 January, so be ready One of us was going to have to do it and - for talented. to glide (or slide) gracefully. whateverreason, I can't quite remember why- I By ilie end of the show if your limbs aren't words: Eppie Windsor Clive said that 1w ould quite like to. And I did, and I itching to move, then there really must be quite enjoyed it. So I guess I sort of fell into it." someiliing wrong. Perfect for Christmas and L , Whether it is working in ilieatres or in for putting anybody in the highest of spirits, w~ 1A~ :::-) schools, you can tell that McIntyre has a real Grease is an absolute must-see. Yes, Grease is passion for young people's ilieatre. 'Young the word - so go tell everyone you know. A few ler""'C'""'t rl nt r '1 words of warning: these contagious songs will people, given the opportunity, will ·just have a - Bunnies, bulls, and Boosh: Benjamin very direct response. I love theatre that allows be in your head for weeks to come. for that." Holmes on Bunny and the Bull For McIntyre this production was all about - plus read the extended Peter Jackson remaining true to the story of Cinderella. "Mike words: HannahAstill interview • • - • • • • .....:___.!.~------_- --~.,·--,·-· _;.; .-~ ,1./-I '- I TV ~~-~ ~ --- '' 16 04 - 09 - COMMENT I( r I ( i( ( From Child of our Time to the Octomom documentary, Melissa Welliver wonders if children are being exploited for our entertainment The other day, a friend referred me to the come-reality TV show is the phenomenon of learning difficulties, and often threw violent an hour, as was her child. If I was Jess, when BBC website to take a personality test. 'Octomom', the smgle mother from tantrums when the cameramen tried to film I grew up I know I would want to see the Whilst l will keep the results close to my California who, despite already having six him. One couldn't help but think that whilst documentary and not least where that chest, l noticed that it was for collecting children, had NF the documentary was money had gone and why my parents had information to use against the next social treatment and gave birth insightful and felt it necessary to broadcast my most experiment preformed in BBC's Child of our Lo the world's second set interesting, it became intimate moments: when I slept; when I Time. This is a programme I watch annually of Jiving octuplets. The uncomfortable to watch cried for my Mum. There is just a growing with Professor Robert Winston following up Channel 4 'doi;:umenlary' the children feel worry in my mind that these children will on several children's psychological that I saw a month or so neglected and so angry grow up to resent their parents. development. Surely this must be ago painted her in a good •"--~..;..a,g,;ir~ that we were watching 7 Up is a clear example of this. The first educational - what with the original BBC light - she quite them. Compulsive documentary of its kind starting in 1964, Professor and lots of scientific studies and obviously was viewing to be sure, but this programme followed up on its infant the like. But for the first Lime, whilst comfortable 111 front of is this the right kind of participants every seven years to see how answering the intensely personal queshons the camera, seemed curiosity? they were progressing. The children talked within the test, I started to wonder how the surprisingly stable and A one off to their fascinated audience through their children felt. These are kids that were signed needed the money from Channel 4 child-based grown up goals and dreams. Peter, for up for a programme to broadcast the the station to feed her documentary was on in Lnstance, expressed that he wanted to be a intricacies of their minds from birth until family of fifteen. This the past week: Jess was teacher, but by 28 Up he had merely drifted the age o eighteen. I can only assume that said, during the thought to be Britain's through university, becoming depressed and the parents are being paid for this programme I couldn't youngest sleepwalker at disillusioned by the Thatcherite government endeavour (at the very least I do see yearly help but think that not just three and a half. and was an underpaid teacher. He was then the odd GMTV interview or REAL LIFE only did some of the The documentary ripped apart by the press for his anti magazine article) and just hope that the children not want to be filmed her as she cried Conservative comments, stopped teaching money goes to the child. But who regulates filmed, but the money and wanted her Mum and dropped out of the series. Peter cited this? What if they don't want to have their Nadia Suleman made whilst hospitals probed his reasons for appearing in 28 Up as every little psychotic tendency to be from selling the rights to and tested her, and at monetary and nothing more. With such broadcast to the nation anymore? I would of her brood was spent times, again, I felt lingering feelings of regret and anger, is it course hope that the BBC screened these almost immediately. She stated in the show intrusive watching. Even her Mother fair to be putting children through this? Of parents before starting the show nearly ten that nannies cost her $10,000 per month sometimes seemed to resent the cameras, course, it is up to the parents -but for the years ago, but money can change a person. alone. Her eldest son, Elijah, is seven and but after signing a contract there was little viewer, think: when does the educational Another example of a documentary· doesn't need a nanny, however he does have she could do - she was now a reality star for become exploitative? r:hristmas advArt Ocean's Eleven Love them! Hate them! I am a fan of Christmas adverts. I am Paint me green and call me the Grinch, With Chrislmas just weeks away, the obligatory serving of re-run classics means known to wear a dopey grin, possibly but I swear if I have to endure another films such as Ocean's Eleven are oflen overlooked in favour of Lhe latest mouthing 'Holidays are corning' when 'heartwarming' christrnas advert I'm episode of X Factor or I'm A Celebrity. However, this film truly is a gem; from watching the Coca-Cola lorries driving going to shit in a series of brightly the A-list cast to the cliched, yet warming, plot, this is a film that delivers what across the television screen. Jt seems Tam coloured boxes and dole them out to my it promises. George Clooney is superb as Danny Ocean· the suave gentleman not alone in my love of Christmas adverts, family members on the 25th as a form of robber who makes crime look cool. Equally as impressive are Brad Pitt and Matt as, after a brief retraction of the famous anti-commercial dirty protest. r'rn no Damon who between them deliver witty lines that we have all seen before yet Coca Cola adverts, the company was puritanical freak, and l'd be pretty know and love. Director Soderbergh delivers a polished spectacle that captures inundated with complaints from consumers disappointed if l got an orange with a the glitz and glamour of Vegas: something that is never really recaptured in the who felt that the adverts marked the candle in or something like that, but subsequent two sequels. This is a film that can easily be watched and provides beginning of Christmas. Admittedly these seriously. November is way too early for respite from the days of confinement in the library enforced by those much people are sad. Advertisements probably turkeys. While I accept that presents loathed pre-Christmas deadlines. would be an essential indicator of season for need to bought and sold in the run-up to those who rarely risk leaving the sofa. the big day, there's absolutely no need words: Ben Heath However, Christmas adverts have become a for my TV to be spewing out these Victonan rarm Christmas 1 1 ' l f=l 1 iprn l f·A , 1 modern tradition, and rightly so. Given the lobotomised 'feelgood' images of prominence of technology in today's culture families gathered round the table, all The BBC are back with fascinating re-enactments of how our ancestors celebrated the it is not surprising that it should develop its laughing heartily together. most important season on the Christian calendar for three Ch1istmas episodes of the own forms of tradition. These adverts are Take Sainsbury's, for popular series Victoda.n Fann. Viewers asked for insight into how rural people would innocuously cheerful, and add to the example. I'm normally celebrate Christmas and what it meant for them. Christmas as we know it today has its excitement of the Christmas quite a fan of Jamie Oliver, roots in Victorian times when the holidays started to become more commercial and countdown. And to but if that fat-tongued Christmas trees started to appear from Gem1any. At the start of Victoria's reign, few those who say they twat rolled up to my Christmas cards were sent and no one had any idea who Sanla was, but by the end of her are just a shameless house doling out reign it had reached all sections of society. Along with the array of farming tasks that had opportunity for mince pies from a van to be done to provide for the animals over the holidays, the presenters show how to make companies to exploit blaring out the turkey dinner (an .American innovation after Thanksgiving) and the stories behind an annual holiday, saccharine the knickknacks such as crackers (first made in 1846) that are so inherent to Christmas then what is saxophone today. The programme's website is full of videos showing how to make mulled wine and a Christmas as we arrangements of proper Christmas pud as Victorians would have done, so it is testament to Queen Vic and celebrate it, but a Jingle Bells, I might her peeps that there are so many people wishing to sustain these traditions. capitalist exploitation just gouge out my of a religious festival? eyes with a yule log. words: Jack Stringer words: Rachel Harvey words: Tom Bush - - -.'•r-•-~"~-~r-~ . . : - > . . ,.. : -- . - .~ . . ~.... I - ' •• -- - • • -1 - L - '- -- ~ I,,•~- •_ -.,•, BOOKS . -- - - - 04 . 09 ------~~17 Christmas Gii Guide Ths week LS has embraced the festrve spirit and reV1ewed this year's offenngs of Christmas novelty books Well, December is now upon us, which means that, sadly, the F·unt ) ,r in1·.:i ,)Jl i Hc lr11P· season for Christmas present sh opping has well and truly begun. Radio 4's The Now Show is the latest entertainment Around this time of year, pretty much every publishing company franchise to bring out the inevitable spin-off novelty book. Apparently Radio 4's most popular comedy show begins peddling a great number of novelty books, a large majority (although that's not hard, considering some of the other of which end up being written by J eremy Clarkson. The reason for unfunny garbage they commission), The Now Show is a this is fairly simple: a comic, easy-to-read book is the ideal present satirical show written and performed by the likes of Steve for someone who you otherwise may have to spend a lot of time Punt, Hugh ''Mock the Week"Dennis, and Daily Mail enthusiast Marcus Brigstocke. This new spin-off book is and effort to buy a present for. Examples of these include uncles, pitched as a 'satirical alternative' to the Guinness Book of tenuous friends and fathers. They're also fairly easy to wrap, look World Records, and by and large it's actually pretty funny. nice piled up with other presents, and in hardcover editions can Split into the sections of politics, art, modem life turn a decent profit for the publishers. LS has cringed, laughed and etc., the book mixes several one-off gags (Stupidest Thing Ever Written in a Newspaper: in today's Daily Mail) with a yawned whilst leafing through the Christmas gifts to choose when few topical essays and rants on the state of the modem world (Silliest Pop Star's Child's Name, Most you're not sure what else to give. Eyebrow-Raising Thing Blamed on the Credit Crunch). words: Tom Bush While it may not be laugh-out-loud hilarious, it's perfect bathroom reading material, and the design of the book's layout does make it fairly appealing. However, with its £14.99 price tag, it is a rather expensive book seeing as your cynical cousin Toby will probably only read once. words: Tom Bush [1311 Pattnrsn r BBC2's Mock The Week was created as an attempt to emulate t -:JUI l J' T ir the success of similar, popular shows. such as Whose Line Is It Originally appearing in the New York Times on 25th December Anyway and Have I Got News for You. It has rapidly become a 1990 and forming the inspiration for the later feature film viewer's favourite and it is not hard to see why; the panel seem Smoke, this is a beautifully told and unconventional Christmas --.,....--ii:, to add more to the show merely by their presence than by their fable that includes none of the traditional trappings of the comic contributions. Together, they are a team that most would festive season. be happy to watch discussing anything, never mind the news. Those who are acquainted with Auster's qwrky characters Therefore, this year's Mock the Week annual seems, initially, and thought-provoking writing won't be disappointed; here, we rather temptI.ng. Tt consists entirely of answers to the questions discover Auggie Wren - a cigar selling artist who takes a usually asked in the closing, stand-up rounds of the TV show, photograph from the same place, of the same scene, every such as bad things to say at a wedding' and 'unlikely front page single morning for years on end The narrator, Auster himself. headlines'. Th.is format is expanded upon in the book, with many has been asked to write a short story to appear in the NYf on imaginative and hilarious questions, such as 'weird things to Christmas morning (the meta-fictional elements add an extra have tattooed on your arse' (Vote Lib Dem' being one of the dimension to an otherwise straighttorward tale) and his , answers). challenge is to create a truly 'unsentimental Christmas story'. Disappointingly though, the book lacks the 'punch' of the TV This simple yet affecting narrative is charmingly show. The creators and occasional writers of the show wrote the jokes for the annual and one can't complemented with images from Isol, an Argentinean help feeling that so many of the one-hners would be far funnier if the panelists were saying them. illustrator. Her delightfully surreal melange of collage and drawings encourage the reader to look There are also not quite enough gags to fill a hardcover book, and consequently some are just plain more closely, following Auggie's advice of 'If you don't take the time to look, you'll never manage to silly ('Unlikely newspaper headline: Fuck off). see anything'. Nonetheless, the annual is a decent gift for any fan of the TV show and there are plenty laughs Auster gives us a refreshing reminder of what Christmas is really all about: the act of giving and inside. There are also some moments of genuine brilliance, sud1 as the answer 'Are you or have you making someone happy. This little gem of a book would make a great gift for someone you hold dose. ever been Cat Stevens?' to the cue 'Unlikely US immigration card questions'. words: Alice Dent words: Joe Miller .i8nr ;).rrM/[ Rereading your old diaries is toe-curhngactiVIty, as l was bar )tr r 'A\ reminded recently when flipping through one I kept at fourteen, When Palalmiuk saw the dearth of male role models for where I gouged out my unrequited love in biro every night. twentysomethings coming of age in a world of pops tars and There's the strong temptation to disown your past by yoga, he wrote Fight Gub- a destructive novel ofbitchtits, destroying all the evidence. Alternatively, you could go and get mayhem and soap. All he really gave the world was modem your old dia1ies published: Cringe is a collection of embarrassing cinema's coolest figment of any character's imagination - Tyler diary entries from members of the public. Durden. The book has journal ~cts with present day explanations, Rather more constructively Garetl1 May, with his debut where the contributors fondly reminisce over their teenage book 150 Things Eveiy Man Should Know, has ventured to melodramatics and rue the day they were photographed sporting fill the testosterone vacuum with a witty and infonnative a perm. At just twenty, arguably I don't have enough perspective guide for even the most perplexed and inept of our on being a teenager. Perhaps the wounds of adolescence are still generation, with guides to changing a tyre, the perfect shave, smarting and in five years time this'll have me in stitches, but I how to cook a steak and even a no-nonsense guide to drugs. It found the book patronising and unfunny. will, in short, bring ilie inner Phil Mitmell from within even There's always license for autobiographical embellishments, the most Frank Spencerian young man. but Cringe seems exaggerated into full-blown fiction. The Written with clarity and a self effacing honesty contributors all seem to have suffered that adult amnesia about characteristic of Peep Show's Mark Corrigan, this unashamedly useful book will make ilie perfect their teenage years and fall back on the hormone-hijacked, Christmas gift for anyone who lacks any of the virile touches required to get a foot on the next n.mg of oversexedand cerebrally-challenged stereotype. Far from 'shining the painful, embarrassing and ultimately thankless ladder we call manhood. Or, maybe it'll just raise a a light into the secret lives of youths everywhere', Cn'ngereheats the generic teenage experience of laugh and give a brief glimpse into what it's really like to be your dad pop culture: zits, snagging behind the bike sheds and slammed doors. Furthermore, its excess of This may do the book a slight disservice but, like many which populate the Christmas book market, capital letters, exclamation marks and spelling mistakes seems ungenuine. it's the classic toilet read- aconsciouslyfunny book which allows the reader to dip in and oulat This is one of those books frazzled parents exchange as gag gifts at Christmas and chortle over in leisure, but always has something worth reading and something which, as a man, you really should recognition. If its second hand embarrassment you're after, Adrian Mole does it better. I didn't laugh already know. but I certainly Cringed. words:James Legge words: Bee Taylor • • - • • • • l • • ' ._ •:;.=r L • • rr•, ;:-• 1,,-- - ~ ' I '"' "-""; ' •, .Ii.- •• . . TECH t • - . . . 18 04 09 REVIEW Yo-Ho Kab ammo Canalside Studios There should be more pirate based games. No, really. All pirates do is spend their time sailing the seven seas and drink rum, collect gold and keep parrots. You'd think there's no way to go wrong with a game like Yo-[[o Kablammo but it 1s, unfortunately. lacking. It's by no meaus a terrible game but on the flip side it's not amazing. In the game, your JOb is to sailawund in your pirate ship fighting the other ships that have dared to take your precious ocean away from you. Boat death match, if you will. Graphically, the game looks great: little puffs of smoke from the ships as they're damaged, mines bobbing up and down on the surface and random pirate based paraphernalia litter the menus. .. To break up the game, there are many single player challenges. Some involve you ramming opposing ships into oblivion, while others involve priming more mines than the othe1 players. They're a bit hit and miss though, with some being fun and others being downright the two triggers. Each trigger shoots to one side, Opponents seem to pick their favourite tar~et at • boring. left trigger to port and right to starboard. No the sta1t and relentlessly attack them. Thats fine The thing I think that lets the game down matter how much I play, I just can't get my if you're not the target but if you are then you most 1s the clunky control system. Maybe I'm bearings well enough to shoot in the right spend the majority of your time trying to keep just too used to the modem dual -analogue direction. It is possible lo hold down the bumper alive rather than actually enjoying the game. On system, but moving in one direction whilst buttons to show an arrow telling you the top of this, the single player levels are shooting in another just seems natural after direction that cannon fires but it's awkward and surprisingly difficult and should really be toned Geometry Wars and company. Here, you move not the best way of doing things. On top of this, down. with one analogue stick but you have to fire with the Al comes across as bizaJTe and silly. This game seems like it could be fun to play online (unfortunately there was nobody on to test this when I tried) and the music is all piratey Gust what you need for a pirate game) but a clunky interface and difficult levels mean that your money is perhaps better spent elsewhere. words: Mat McLaren Developer bio: •• Canalside Canalside Studios is a games company within the University of Huddersfield. The studio is permanently manned by a core team of 8 placement students.It was founded in 2006 to aid the professional development of computer games students, within the industry. In 2007 Canalside Studios achieved second place in the Microsoft XNA Dream Build Play competition with Yo Ho Kablammo. The game was launched on September 2 2009 on Xbox Live Arcade. The game was developed by David Webb of Chase Terrace, David Horton of Leamington Spa and Mark Brotherton of Huddersfield. The developers have recently graduated. David Webb lives in Birmingham and works as a software developer for Full Fat DUR UNION IS ~151iENING - in Coventry, David Horton is back in Leamington Spa persuing his own projects v1s1r WWW.LEEDSUNIVERSITYJUNION.ORG.UK and Mark Brotherton is completing his PhD at the University of Huddersfield. AND COMPLETE HE FINAL URVEY OF THE YEAR! OBSERVATIONS 041209 Christmas - a bit 1 The real I Jingle it all away shnallyl but I love it secret santa Studying International Relations Studying: Cultural Studies Studying English lJterature and Portuguese Loves. Ear muffs and Mtttens and Language Favourite Film Mystery Men Favourite Place: Trebarwith Celebrity Crusty Ewan Favourite Place: Paris Strand (Cornwall) McGregor Siobhan B Loves: Mornflake Chocolate Mark Burdon Favounte 1V Show Grand Fa ourite P1ace· Barcelona rewood WYatt Squares Designs Childhood toy: Peggy Patch or a while now, I've had at least one Chrisbnas hate to cast a pessimistic eye upon the ;oyous t was last year's soap on a rope that did it. Up playlist on Spotify ... I've been busting out the festivities but for me it has becoITle impossible to until that point I had been willing to embrace Ffestive stuff since mid-November, I think. Admit Isee Christmas time as anything mo.re than a ISecret Santa as just another Christmas tradition. it, you probably think Christmas music - and for the greedy money making machine. Ever since 1931 the Rather like annoying relatives or overdosing on more cynical, Christmas itself - is a bit lame. I'm not commercialization of Christmas has been evident cheese - Secret Santa was something that inevitably sure if that's the latest 'cool' way of saying that, so I'm through the influence of Coca Cola upon the happened every year. That is, until last year's all time just going to go ahead and say shnally. Yes, that is a representation of old St Nick, Santa Claus·, or my low and l decided enough was enough. made-up word, so what? personal preference, Father Christmas. On case you Of course l caved. It got to mid November and 1 Some aspects of the season are, indeed, shnally. weren't aware, his suit changed from green to the found myself eagerly holding a hat witl1 my Such as seeing your great-uncle Roger dancing with a 'traditional' red!) However, the Americanization of sausage roll in his mouth, or being made to wear the the Western world has caused a spread of this same red jumper as all your siblings as a child. In fact, Capitalist dream, increasingly so over the years. I'm Nothing says fired childhood Christmases were always a game of two not sure whether it is the end of semester financial halves: the smorgasbord of self-indulgence on the blues which have forced my eyes open to see the faster than a cheap rooming of present opening, contrasted with having bright flashing lights, but, attempting to resist the to humour distant relatives who can't reaJly urge of just seeming bitter, T'm glad to have taken a bottle of wine remember your age, yet expect you to sing, dance or step back to grasp the harsh reality of this otherwise perform for them. But Tguess whoever pays shenanigan. (half drunk) ... I cannot speak of Christmas in Leeds without mentioning the kitsch masterpiece that is: the Christmas has two German Market! With fond memories of two years previous, rocking up after my Friday shift and housemates' names in and setting the 'ground rules'. halves: the self- guzzling down a few mulled wines whilst listening to Yes, apparemly this tradition needs 'ground rules'. a murmur of festive cheer and questionable, yet Perhaps Secret Santa's founders feared one person \nd ulgenc e and the fitting, music, l was so excited to return with a would go out and buy a hundred pound diamond encrusted toaster and burst into tears when they 1 collection of new international friends, to show them relatives who can t another side to the City. But, after queueing for an received a copy of the Big issue. Instead some clever hour to even get inside the main concert hall (or, the folk have devised a solution- the fail safe 'money plastic hut) all that echoed through my ears was limit'. Basically this way everyone receives the same remember your-age "£4.50!" ln two years the price was almost double, crap. Although this can also prove a tad problematic talk about inflation! Not even one of us could bring - set the bar too high and you'll be branded an the piper calls the tunes. Even if payment 1s a bag of ourselves to fork out for a measly totter of mulled arrogant money flasher. Too low and you just look Sports Mixture and a big sloppy grandma kiss. wine so we swiftly vacated the vicinity in a cloud of cheap. However worst-case scenario; pulling out the And yeah, some Christmas songs the Spice Girls' disgust and disappointment. name of your boss. Nothing says fired faster than a 'Christmas Wrapping' cover, or the Darkness' However, if I had circum to the price of this false cheap bottle of wine (half drunk) because you forgot Christmas song spring to mind -would, in any other 'authenticity' I would never have discovered the fun the day. Who said Secret Santa was easy? context, run the risk of inflicting the wrath of With every Secret Santa group there will be innumerable alien species who, while intercepting our certain similarities. Be it work-mates or house-mates radio s~als and hearing the aforementioned tunes, there will inevitably be the 'one nobody wants'. This woula turn from friendly neighbours into planet Not even one of us person may be perfectly likeable but there's just destroying demons before the children's choir kicks something about their cactus collection/spoon in. As we're still alive, though, they must appreciate could bring ourselves hoarding/death stares (delete as appropriate) that irony. makes you question if they would actually appreciate Plus, there are some good examples of Christmas to fork out for a a Girls Aloud calendar? Equally there is also the music, as long as you can hack a bit of cheese. On the crafty one - not in a Fantastic Mr Fox kind of way more tame side, you've got Christmas carols - 'Carol but as in you will actually receive a homemade pen J of the Bells', 'O Holy Night', 'O Come All Ye Faithful'. measley totter of holder. This person will emerge covered in PVA, Anyt;hing arranged by John Rutter is a winner, too. their room looking like a Blue Peter studio and hand en you've got seasonal pop- from Bing Crosby's mulled wine ... out homemade gifts with a smug, "here's one I made Wbire Christmas to Band Aid, or if you can't bear to one can have with a broken umbrella. The sight of my earlier." And, as is required of every Secret Santa gift, pa with heavy distorted guitar, check out Trans French house mate singing whilst struggling home in you will smile and laugh and joke about the hilarity Sib · Orchestra. the rain with nothing more than a deformed metal of it all while trying work out what it's actually Bu here's the bottom line: Christmas isn't about structure for protection made me laugh to the point meant to be. being c ol. Far from it. Christmas is when you wear a of stomad1 pain, I'm convinced that not even the litre Yet even in my cynicism I too am part of this paper crown, eat copious amounts of sweets and smile jug of beer could have brought me such joy. So, I tradition. I can't help myself, and heck, it's at rand m strangers. For some of us, it's about our guess what I'm saying here is that money isn't the Christmas, season of goodwill and joy to all. So year religio : our · y; or simply having a good meal. cause of happiness or more specifically, festive cheer! after year, I get involved, despite there being the Wo · h about coolness will result in being I was no fan of my parents when they proposed the inevitable day before panic, tearing round stuck clic refresh on your web browser m a cold idea of not buying presents this year but I came Sainsbury's trying to find an appropriately funny yet Eve, bitterly choking down your around to the idea when my Granny promised she thoughtful gift. Last time I checked the only thing ter Munch. That's right, I'm the would knit me a snugly jumper, something money on offer was a small fun sized pack of Dove Facebop¥,ed. Be afraid. just cannot buy. Don't get me wrong, I love the tingly deodorant and nothing loses friends faster than cheesy tunes, hang Christmas spirit and I've got a feeling that presenting insinuating they smell. So why do we put ourselves play board games, my home-made books and chocolates to my family on through this? Because it's fun, irritating and 1 ...... " ""'•·-shna.lly (that's right, Christmas morning will be much more rewarding traditional - basically Christmas in a nutshell. The .."1 -w.,-•mvented word). You'll then having popped into M&S and bought into a half hearted presents and embarrassing st until Janua . imply, having, a whole system that, although is presently inescapable, consequences are all part of the game. And hristmas time ... indeed, Mr, McCartney. is definitely something which we should give as little Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a support as possible. homemade phallic shaped pen holder. • - • • • • / Maastricht University ~- Graduate study at Maastricht University: Dreaming spires without spiraling debt he nmes recently descnbed studying at Maastricht LJniver.;ity as 'llfe amid the dreaming sp1rc5 of Maastrichl' and rightly made the link to the famous LJK universities that share this c.haractertstic.. At Ma stricht University students can expect to follow Masters programme5 wh,c.h are excellent In terms of research and education c1nd roted accordingly in varlou~ international publica ions Indeed the Univers1ty could be call d a Ratings high flier r1s1ng as it did 60 oiaces in just one y ~r in the nm~ Higher Education Supplement of the top two hundred un1vers1t1es The university leaped from r,2nt1 position In 2006 to 116'h in 2009 .. This year our Scnoo! of su ... iness and Economtcs was rated by the Fin,mc1al TI mes as the 29" best Business School in Europe for the management programme!. offered The un11rerslty Is In emationi.ll in location and m terms of students and staff It IS situated in the heart of Europe and ttracts students frorn all the surrounding countries and much further TI1 re are still placesava1table at the un vers,ty for a range of M..15ter courses. TlllS is expected to be a 5tark con tr.isl lo the UK here the econornic.cns,s is leading to dram, tic Increases in postgr.iduate applications. In addition lo the highs ndard of our education and research the fe~ charged by the U111verslty are only a frnct,on of those charged by UK unrvers1lte!>.The Dutch government se ~ the fee levels that un1versit1es can • • • • • Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student 13 offering easy credit with a side and county court judgelllents \nothcr company named n inappropriate for companies such become incrcas1ngl) popular Wllh already run imo dcht problems as a !lassie Loan i. promoting as Toothfa1r\ to market their loans students in n:cLnt month:. Trapp Too late for some result of their experiences with 'student loan ' on its website ,11 flllkn c. . · ,lttnbutcd this to scn:ral factors. Tunthfo1r,·, this .1cr1on has not . pecifically for 'purpose~ like "~tud<..nr, who take out such notabh the economic recession The Oflici.: of Fair TraJ1ng is now come >011· enough. tuition fl:e,, book., computers .ind loans :uc effccti1 cly caking a spa \'qhilst the masses descended h,1ngt r nf trc·e clod1cs (.ind nthn <.:\ L'llt, \\ hCl'L' ,1 )!;,tggJc- of Sat lrlC,d shoppmg. we don '1 tell p oplc \\'Int .ill d.11 and Int, of pc< ,pie ha, c bci.:n upon Leeds city centre to buy m1scdl:111u,us ltc m ) to g11 e ,1\\.1\ tn ,om hie · stagger through crowds of 10 do, \\'l' like thu11 to m.1kc· up 1hc11 showing support." Christmas gifts, one group were lht puhJi,, ,IS \I c.:ll .i lt't:l Cup. nf tC,I hus) ·hoppc1 s mockin,: their fdlcm nwn mmds." BL"rk 13 Friday, December 4, 2009 ww.Ie d udent.o - Leeds Student Critical Analysis Internet: out of reach? Science Commentary The internet is still out of reach for di abilities, it is still out of reach to accessible to people with minor engaging with develo pers and with Fliss Tnkpen chc majority of the l.5 million those with intellccrua.l difficulties. learning difficulties but she designers, ID users can become people in the UK with intellectual Dr Kennedy says: "We're thought it wasn't as accessible as it co-producers in the website clifficultic, (ID). This is according talking about a group of people could of been and wanted to development process rather than to a recent report from The who arc fairly invisible and research ID in order to find out just testers of an end product." Inclusive cw Media Design marginal. Generally people don't what improvements could be Dr Kennedy is now seeking Santa Plausible? (I MD) project, directed by Dr know what ID is, so it can't be made, "One project's finding funding for a new project called 1 lclen 1'.cnncdy, a lecturer in cw taken to the next stage of adapting turned into a research guestiun for Plickr. She describes it as "a visual Media al the U nivcrsit y of Leeds. social networking application that <)n the 24th December you may be sites to account for people the next project." People with intellectual The F' nowlcdgc Transfer fund uses the potential of social media able to observe a relativistic accessibility needs. l\!aking tbe phenomenon that occurs tn the difficulties usuall) have low levels internet accessible to people with at the Universitv of Leeds then to let people, who are c1uite earth's atmosphere onl) once a of l!leracy and numeracy and JD is different to makrng it gave Dr Kennedy some funding to profoundly disabled, b uild year. EY1dence of this phenomenon therefore struggle to process text acccsstble to those with sensorv or trnnsfer the findings onto an relati< nships with other people. can bt: found in the jingling of bells on websites that aren't designed physical disabiliLies. /\]though the online web resource. "Our web itc I r's all prepared as a project bur we anJ a mystenous clisappcarance of internet i n't complete!, has had 250,000 hits oyer the past need to find the funding." whisky and carrots from accessible, it is a lot better than it year, so clearly a small amount of be is also hopeful that other mantelpieces around the globe. wa , but thi group or people have money from Leeds had made a big websites, sud, as news site , will A conscious object, known as been left out. Images difference in terms of the number find a way of clisplay111g their text "Father Christmas'' or" anta communicate to them tn a way that of people we can reach. We're in a form accessible to LO users Claus'' is thought to travel a total words just don't and on the whole, trying to get our message across "There' a lot of potential. We distance of75 million miles, visiting website designers don't consider with the help from the llniversity need co look at how this content 90 mill.ion homes of good girls and JD users because they don't know of Leeds" can be wi-itten for these audience .. boys ru distribute gifts, all in a single about them, it might be costly or The report recommends that Lt's possible but it's just at the idea night. Dcspire clear eYidence for because their clients don't waoL web designer engage with stage at the moment. The internet the existence of rh1s body, it has Image courtesy of Inclusive New chem to". intellectuallv disabled user to could do a lot for these people as been an area of dispute 111 the Merua D esign This project came about while understand ·their accessibility its ·o media rich" scientific community for mam Dr l<..ennedy was working on a problcms, "The diversity and centuries. Some cicntists have with them in mind. different project to create a virtual complexity of ID can only really Jen Archer concluded, on the premise that this /\!though websites haYc been festive body is massive (i.e. is made learning environment for another be graspcJ through contact with of particles with mass) that if such adapted to those with physical universit}. It was sup po eel to be people with LD th<..mselves. Br an object were to attempt this 1oume), the air resistance it would experience would cau e it to spontaneously combust, thus Hot vents reveal strange deep water world disproving his jolly existence The first postulate or this argument, tlur the object is made Deep under Lhe sea, on the ocean In order to better understand take a deep-sea dive in Alvin, a found fossi)jzed, as they arc able to of ordinary, non relativistic matter, floor where sunlight cannot reach, this, Dr Cri, pin Little, a senior rare opportunit1. re ist chemical di sol ution, as is clearly false. l lowever, acconling there can be found a community lecturer in the chool of Earth and Since restarting the project in opposed to shrimp carapaces to rhc theories of Einstein, of animal which bave drastically Environment at the Cnivcrs1tr of ovembcr 2006, man1 (JUestions which disappeared in a ll of the photons, particles of light, travel at changed scientists' views on life. Leeds, together with a tea~ of about fossilization at hydrothermal cages. a speed that 1s the same for all These animals, which include colleagues, placed spce1:illy vents ha, e been answered. It is Now that a greater observers. J\ consequence of this Giant\ estimentiferan tubewocms, designed copies of experimental now clear that tbe location of understanding is held as to the assumption is the concept of time survive not on sunlight, but on materials at 3 different types of remains 111 respect to the \'Cl1tS IS proces of preserving organi sms Llilacion. Put simply, a high speed hvdrogcn sulphide released by hydrorhermal vents, using a important in determining around deep sea hydrothe rmal process (such as traversing the huge hydrothermal vents which manned submersible callee.I fo silization, and rhat sulphide venc , the next tage i to study the p lanet delivering presents) takes a erupt fluids of up to 370 degrees "Alvin". mineralisation onl) occurs in hi~h early tages of thi fossil ization, longer rime to occu r when Celsius. Fossilisation cagt:s, titanium temperature spots or areas where meaning expedments with shorter observed by somcone outside the Due to being unaffected by the mesh cages filled wiLh a variety of changes have occurred ove1· time. duration and, hopefull y, another system than by someone moving changes 1n solar energy that have control materials and biological An explanation has al o been trip for the researchers in Alvin. with the system. So, Santa Claus, affected ocher photosynthesis substances such as mussel and found as to why worm rnbcs and composed entirely of photon , can based ecosy terns, chc e Li [e forms clam hells, were deployed in i\[ay mollusc shells arc more commonly Laura Bonifacii do a journey that from our reference point is hup;e without ma, ha, e an evolutionary rustory 2005 with the view to being travelling an, distance at all . ln his different to any other on the recovered at yearly intervals to he own frame of reference, leaving the p lanet, making them extremely taken back to the UK and North Pole and getting back again important from a scientific point examined. However, disaster arc simultaneous events, and the ofv1cw. struck lacer in the year when the distance ttavdcd from his point of l lowever, in order to study thi entirety of the group's research view is exactly nothing. unusual evolutionar} history, c~1u1pment, including the cages As for the interactions between e, idcnce is needed in the form of themselves, were destroyed b) an him and massive ob1ects, such as fossil., \lihicl, arc extremely scarce. emption or approximately 22 presents and mince pies, we can This poses prnblems as ro why million cubic metres of lava. again turn to the eguations of on!, 25 fossilized examples have Having rn restart the entire Einstem, specifically E=mc2 . This been found around hydrothermal project from scratch was a huge key fom1ula show, us that. mass and vents despite 550 mjllion years of setback for the ream, v.,hc, had to energy arc the same thing, eyoJution. redeploy cages and renegotiate separated only by th<.: speed of light Questions have arisen as to why ship times. I lowever, as Dr. Little SLJUarcd. The conversion of mauer there are so many discrepancies in has said, he was aware that a to energy can be observed in the lhe fossil record, with modern similar eruption had occurred in nuclear fusion reactmns 1hat power animals such as crab and hrimp the p revious decade, and o was the sun, a n d with the cnerg) being comp letely absent. forewarned that it could happen contained m a single mince pie Howe, er, vents in similar again. And from disa ter comes being the ~arne as that released 111 Dr, Crispin in front of Alvin the submersible after his first ruve, condition· have different levels of an atomic bomb, Santa bas enough opportunit), as having to redeploy Photo courtesy of Dr, Crispin Little energy to go prcrcy much anywhere fossil preservation. the cages meanr that he was able to ~~th his reindeer, so long as you are good gid s and boys and ensw-e he is Do you have a passion for science and research? Would you like well fed. M e rry Christmas from Critical more science in Leeds Student? Email _us with your science and Analysis! research stories at [email protected] Friday, December 4, 2009 • 1d I I ll Leeds Student 15 'The two leading parties play games with drugs. They don't actually care about deaths' Last weekend, Students for Sensible Drug Policy, a campaign group dedicated to scrutiny of national drug policy, held its annual conference at Leeds University Union. Leeds Student's Fliss Inkpen and Joey Severn spoke to two of the main speakers to see what they think of the current policies. from intraYcnous heroin abuse philosopher, 1nd high mindl'cl soc1ct1, and thl'n .1 third d1111cnsion in squats and alley ...vays to sioncrs, .1rguments for the ,, hich 1s thl' addict,, l ncss uf rhL· snorting cocaine in the highest dccrim111.1I1,:1t1on of drugs h,11 c drug. \\ c got a whole body of apartments in !--ondon's fi~tancial been gaining t"a, our Ill plll111c.il t:'>pcrts 10 sc,,rc each drug on thost district, there 1s no doubttng the circk for ome rune. 111111: par.1rncters .ind then \\ t' voraciou appetite this count!") , tn c Roik:, D1rl'c1or of summl'd them up .tnd \\'l' came up has for illegal drugs. R.c.:scard1 .lt thL Transtnrm Drug \\ 1th this ranking." L, u-1 Har, mtlli"n' of Brit(ln, l'olic, Found.HJ<>n. thinks th.II this But the llomt' 16 Friday, December 4 2009 Leeds Student 'Whatever we wear, wherever we go. Reclaim the Night is now a worldwide movement. Since its inaugural march in 1977, it has given women a platform to stand up and raise their voices in unison. Leeds Student's Virginia Newman discovers how the movement has evolved and what it is asking for now. Arm in arm, both young and old a man believes it is acceptable to alongside dedicated lawyers from Yorkshire Ripper) had been were united in chanting as the force himself on woman. It is time CP and staff from TAR ( exual caught, it didn't mean that it was Reclaim the Night movement that society realizes that it bas a Trauma \ftcr Rape) to ensure that safe for women co wa lk home took to the streets to make their seaous problem." the best possible victim care and alone. voices h eard. The carefully crafted route took evidence to prosecute ts obtained." The threats of sexual attacks For the fir t time ince 2006 in all the scrip clubs in the town The Reclaim the ighc and domestic abuse arc . till real hundred of women joined centre and co\'ercd several areas in movement was originally formed for man) women. A short but together in an effort to highlight which women have reported they at a time when the Yorkshire moving speech given by a woman the current rape conviction rates, feel vulnerable. The unity Ripper wa ttll at large. At this who had Lived on the treets and which organisers claim to be displayed on the 111ght between the time LL pas ed an "anti-rape' suffered exual violence was given 'shockmgly low'. original and current generations of motion placing a 'temporary the longest applause. The most Rape Crisis England and Wales women was notable. The chants curfew' on students in an attempt disappointing aspect of the event sugge r that as few a l O per cent may have been updated, but there to protect students. was that, unfortunately, neither the of rape and sexual assaults are was a strong sense of a common The attitude of putting chc onus police or the un ympathetic reported to the police; whi le in purpose. on women to stay off the street · policians were present to hear it. \'{'est Yorkshire, only around 8.3 There was also an was what sparked the Reclaim the It was hoped that this would per cent of cases result in a overwhelming armo phere of ight mo, ement. A look through inspire sympathisers co spread the conviction. lt is these figures that upport Jn the group between issues of Luds StJ,denl from the late messages of the cause, and with have prompted the re-birth of the protesters of all genders, which 70s show a surprising lack of such a good turn out for Reclaim movement in Leeds that has a was highlighted when the coverage of Reclaim tlie ight the ight marches across the history dating back over 25 years. marchers faced down drunken marches despite much coverage of countr) over the past few weeks, The strong turn out f over 300 cries o[ 'gee your tit out for the other protest . the femirnsc movement appears to people wa re tament to the lads' from a few bars. While the The attitudes of the time are be regaming strength and purpose current feelings of iniusticc and a group en 1110.r.re saw the cries as visible in the news in brief sectton once more. genuine need for change. This symptomatic of the still prevalent of ovember 3 L978 issue which new poll, conducted by year's event was timed to coincide problems within society and read: "200 women, man1· of them atherine Redfern for Reclauning wtth International Day for the merely drowned them out with students, marched thro~gh Leed. the r, \X'ord: The ew Feminist Eliminauoo of Violence Against chants, some peripheral male on Tuesday night in a reclaim the J\.[ovement, has revealed that \'v'omcn, on ovember 25. members took it upon them. elves night march, to show that women nearly half of feminists are under Liv Bailey, S women's to answer to these claims in a more walktng at night have to stay in 25 years old, with almost three officer says that Reclaim the I ight aggressive manner. In a march led group. for safety." This article quarters of the I ,300 surveyed marches are more necessary than by women, 1l was unfortunate to misrepresented the aims of the saying they "tarted to identify with ever: "1 in 4 women· will see ome take their own lead. march. being a feminist while still 10 their experience violence at some point Despite , ome con fusion over There were also conflicts at chis teens. in their lives, women are still afraid whether organisers had correctly time between the attitudes of the Thi contra ts to well known to walk the streets at night alone. notified the police of the march, University and the Uoioo. The figures such as fargaret Atwood The police and community still try police were only a smaJl presence llniver lly introduced a night bu and Germaine Greer stating that to blame \v9men if they arc and there wa little more trouble. service, ,,;hich is still going strong they do not identify themselves a attacked and they have been This was telling of the peaceful but toda), to ensure that female feminists. drinking, or wearing a short skirt." powerful nature of the action. students got home safely. There are hopes that the ophta James echoed these In reaction to the event, Der However, the capture of the inrere 't in these marches, along sentiments: "Reclaim the ight upt Ingrid Lee of\Xfcst Yorkshire York hire Ripper nearly saw the with the resurgence in the \,·ill always be nece sary whilst the Police' Crime Division aid: service withdrawn. movement they signify, will emphasis is put on the nctim for "Offence are often verv difficult Havtng previously funded the strengthen campaigns by si milar rape. Sociel) will so often guestion to prove as it is often on~ per on's service, the nh·ersJty bursar groups. why the individual was wearing a account against another. To deal proposed to cut this fu~d1ng. In Liv Bailev commented: " T h c hon skirt or low cut top or why with this, we have introduced a reaction, the Union passed a rape convic~ion rate is an absolute they were tumbling around rown dedicated unit who are specially motion tattng that the university disgrace, and immediate and drunk and alone, when what we trained and highly skilled 111 should pay 90 per cent, and that thorough action must be taken. really should be questio111ng is why investigating rape. They work just becau c Peter Sutcliffe (the " Police attitudes towards 1981 April 1977 November1977 November 2009 Sutcliffe is convicted The first Reclaim the The first Reclaim the The first Leeds march From top to bottom: Liv Bailey, NUS of murdering 13 Night march is held in Night march in Leeds for three years Womens' Officer; police talking to women and attacking West Germany on takes place on coincide with sister main organiser Leanne Sutheran; the small resistance; Sophia James, LUU several others April 30 November 12 marches across the Equality and Diversity Officer. country • • • • • Friday, December 4 2009 Leeds Student 17 Yes means yes and no means no.' sllnhors of rape :ire one of the tbemseh·cs "ulncrnbk through ·Sta) safe: this Christmas', seems 10 such trcannents of thesc issues and manr things 1hnt must change. l f binge dnnkmg. sh Passionate protesters hold their igns high • THE MAIN TARGETS: The protesters made their point heard especially outside Leeds' lap dancing and strip clubs • 18 Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student Uni win in York-over Wet wet win setting up camp in the York half. again made a strong stan in the student who is studying in Leeds Women's Lacrosse Ant Dobson worked space to third guarter with goals from Lucy Cross Country for this semester. Leed. Uni 2nds 21-1 York 2ods score after a sustained period of Chapman and Greene. Leeds Relays The Women's E team beat the D pressure involving goals from While the whole attacking unit team with help from Sarah Edwards and Laura Chapman. began to play with more fluidity, Graham wh ran the third leg for Matthias herself a goal after a especially when coming from the E team immediately after smart turn away from her marker, behind the net. racing for the A ·s. In a hugely one-sided encounter, a Leed teams ran well on home and gor another near the end of The match wa, starting to look The six-runner Men's teams ran weak York 1de were crushed by a ground at the weekend against the guarrer. more like a practice game for the well with the A team placing free-scoring Leeds side chat arc tough competition. The Women's home side, but a York goal lifted fourth out of 23 teams. cantering towards the orthern A team were overall winners while the spirits of the vi, i cors and they D ave Burtle, the Men's Race Conference 2A title. Leeds' Men:S came in fourth. began to cxen some pressure of Captain, praised Alex Bellow foe J laving scored a massive 85 The 3 km course was run on The match their own. his rapid I 0.55 lap and said he was times in their previous four games, grass on the Bodington fields and onetbeless the away team "reall y impressed by the fir t they contJnued theu good form to included a brutal I 00 metre hill on could not stop conceding with year". dominate the game and keep York was starting to the final stretch. good firushes from Danni Barber under constant pressure. car constant ram prior to the and Ro ic ,'\ fia, the latter resulting An explosive scan clearly rattled look more like race and a freezing fog on the day from a great pass by Katy FrankJm. the technically inferior opposition made for tough conditions and a The Women's A By the end of the third, the as Leeds racked up an 8-0 lead b) a practice boggy course that hindered the score was 14-J and York were Team were the end of the first guarter. [ I'-' achievement of fast times. starting co look very tired. Leeds 1auhias and Charlotte Greene The event, organized entirely by game for the capitalised on this to crash in a wen: at the centre of much of the Leeds students and associates overall winners, further seven goals. in the final pla), wllh Greene finishing two went smoothly, with a great turn home side period, to put a hefty gloss on the good passing moves in the out from Leeds runners as well as while Leeds' final score, with Chapman, Barber, opening 10 minutes with some local team and British While the score line was Edwardes and fathias all nw.ing. smart running to create pace. Sue universities. Men's A came impressive Leeds' play began to Having now cored 106 goals Edwardes also scored after some The three member \~omen's A get sloppier with passes starting co and only conceded 10 in five impres ivc build-play from Lucy team completed the three leg relay in fourth. go astray and chances being games, it cems that promotion i. Preston and Matthias. in a time of 38 minutes 57 missed, it didn'1 help that York only a matter of when and not if. York could not get over the seconds. fary Perrier, Leeds were allowing the home team the He said the men's performance halfway line for much of the \X:'omen's Race Captain ran in as time and pace to make these was excellent considering the guarter with poor passing and second fastest woman with a time error with little hope of being "pretty horrible conclmons." pick-up· letting them down. On of 12.25. punished for their complacency. Player of the Match Club Captain [ax Sanders the odd ncca ion when York did Man commented that she was t\fter a tern talking to at the congratulated ,·olunteers for the th reaten, the Leeds defence were Charlotte Greene "very ·proud" of all the teams and break about not ru ·bing to the net da, 's success ,vhich was a tribute ttuick to close them down and said It had been a "great day all so often and trying to slow the to- the hard work of the whole force mistakes. Her smart run , 1mprt:sSJve pass111g round". he gave special mention pace of their play around the net, club. In the second guarter the and guality fi111shing, set to "veteran runner" arah Graham Leeds domination concinuecl with Leeds the tone for the rc:;t of the team. and Katrine uave, a foreign - -, '' ', - . : EN :D .S L-E ·1=G ,·H- I" - - ! ' Don't let your winter ho id y go dow hill. . Comprehen iv in ur nc cov r from th nu ry p A week's European ski cover from · £18.92* · a1lor d trav ur nc for wl Cov r ,nclu • Accidental loss, theft or damage to your own or hired ski equipment • Reimbursement of ski school fees, lift pass and hired equipment due to injury or illness • Loss of lift pass www.endsleigh.eo.uk/progress 0800 028 3571 Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student 19 LS THE WEEK IN Sports Perso11ality? t is that time of the year again, Zara Phillips perhaps - they still are Jenson Button,Jes ica Ennis NUMBERS when the great and good of somewhat pale in comparison to and David I !aye. I sport come together to bathe 1982 champion Daley Thompson, But they should not win in the excellence o[ their Sports Personality of the Ccmury because there is one wbo deserves achie...-cments over the last year. Muhammad Ali or more recent!} it more; the one man co have The name of this annual International Spores Personality reached the top of his sport and celebration is port Personality of the year 2008 U ain Bolt. the only pees.on on tbe list who The position Ireland of the \ear, and it is this award o is there anyone this year on bas the personality co give any won't occupy in the that all in port striYe ro win. the 13th of December in Sheffield respectability back to the award is World Cup next year. But of late, the meaning of the that will at last deserve the award Phi1Lips Idowu. word 'personality' seems to have for both sport111g excellence and After finally winning a World been forgotten by the voting actually being in possession uf a Championship gold in the triple public, and instead Jt appears that personalitr? jump, he has at least delivered on 'sports person of cl,e year' is Tom Daley, Ryan Giggs and tbe promise he has hown for so awarded. Beth Tweddle have neither long, and he is also one of the While not an abomination of reached the pinnacle of their mo t interesting and exciting an award, it docs miss the point of re pcctiYe sports nor do they have people in sport. the coveted camera-shaped the qualities that con t1tute a ldowu truly has a personality; discrestions Tiger trophy: to celebrate not onl) pcrsonalit). he is one of the few people that Woods has been achievement but al. o a port [ark Cavendi h does, but you would actually pay attention person who add something to being the best sprint cyclist to at the end of an intervie,v. accused of this their sport, someone who is fun Britain ha ever had, yet not the That is why he deserves co win, week. and exciting, someone who you best in the world right now, does not only because of what he has wish to watch receiving an award. not quite make him deserving of achieved but because it would .Although ir Chris I lo} and winning, and despite moving help to revive thi award that is Joe Calzaghc, the previous two forwards in his career, Andy suffering a possibly terminal wmners, arc both phenomenal Murray is simply a corpse that can identity crisis. sport men and do have more of a plar tennis. pcrsonaliry than other recipients - The only nominees who have James Green Greg Rusedski, Lennox Lewis or both achievement and personality Watch out Fedders Face-off Blatter Work it out for here has been, and always Woods has also been in the ifa president Sepp Blatter this knowledge, often considered as yourself. will be, golden boys in · potligbt this week for the wrong week buffered proposals to having a 'mccharucal face' as a T sport. In the 70s it was Best, reasons, with allegations of F introduce video technology into consequence of its use of l lawk-Eye the 80s Borg, the 90 Gascoigne. personal internal affairs rife in the football. video technology. ln this current generation, we international media. Despite much clamouring from a Blatter points to the game's written arc witness to the superfluou. Such peculation has led him to footballing community oucraged by rules to ju tify his stubbornness. talents of Tiger Woods, Thierry make a public apology to his the illegicimatc pre cnce of France in "The laws of the game clearly Sa}' Henry and Roger Federer; family and friends about events the forthcoming World Cup Finals that with foul play it is the opmioo of PUNDIT arguably three of the greatest leading up to bim wrapping a • • • • • • ------~------ 20 Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student Leeds Gf\-phons \X'omen's 4ths J -IJ • orthumnria I ,ee • • - • Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student 21 With the England cricket team controversially about to field half a squad of foreign-born players for their tour of South Africa, LS Sport asks: There arc man) examples from other two players have been criucal towards t\,e sports, uch as Kiwi-born Dylan Hartley success of the national team recently, thus Josh Pawling finding a place in the English Rugby Union Raynal Somiah thcir commitment and desire to do well for team. England cannot really be brought into eoffrey Boycott's crie of Ycars later, ome are scill confused as to 'th the English cricket team question. ''Por crying out loud, he's whether Zinedinc Zidane is French or currently taking on outh Besides, Lhe definition of what constirnLes, English now," were voiced ,\lgerian (born in France, he holds joint Africa this winter, the issue 'choosing' to play for another country can be during Hngland's drubbing by cirtzcn hip), while Trinidad and Tobago of athletes choosing to pla1 quite blurred at mnes. ourh Africa lasL week. fielded Stafford-born midfielder Chns for their adopted countries This can be seen in the case of the French GThe precoc1ou Yorkshireman was Birchall in their squad for the 2006 Fifa Whas been brought to tbe fore once again. and c,cn the G<.rman natJOnal football responding to the cacophony of boos that \\lorld Cup, as !us mother was born in Port Much has been said about the fact that teams. \n overwhelming majonty of the rang out around ·e,vlands ll1 Cape Town as of pain. - four out of the starting Xl players were born player ha,e ongins outside I ranee, some of outh Africa's favounte pantomime villain The Ol)'lnpics is not amiss O\'er there, so it's not unusual tlut questions who were born outside rhc countrv too. Kevm Pietersen walked out to the middle to to such controversy either, are being asked over whether certain players If that ,\·ere to be taken into consideration open his innmgs. with Abdullah i\hmad should have even been allowed to represent alone then some might say that they have.: no The second ODI wa very much a case of Hassan - former 1,enyan England. direct heritage or claim to be playing for 'our outh African players are betrer than track medallist - now After all, representing a nation or team at France. yours,' as Englan • • • • • ; 22 Friday, December 4, 2009 Leeds Student Uni Burnt in Searing contest [n tJ1e trurd round a Sc,11·s \ IClOr\ Boxing looked 111 doubt for the first umc Qucc.:nswood ~ocial Club \\ hen Timmi. breached Sears's guard ·n1Ursda\· 26th on:mbcr wnh a clean right hand to rill left c I c sending car. ro the cam 1s. e:1rs, nonetheless, sun·i,·cd the n;sulung eight counr. Last Thur. d:11· OucenS1n,oJ ',11c1al \skcd after the fight whether he Club ho. red rh: unofficial hosing \\',1 ,H all worried whcrhe r tht' knock \',u-,1n C )n a fnurtcen hout c:ird ,;r amare.ur hosing L'ni pro\·1dcd four down could han· effected thi.: n.:. ult, 'Kar said •· 1 thought, h >\1 dare he! f1ghtns, w1rh three SL]Uaring up To be hone. t I s.1w it more as a ,l~unst the :\let. clullcngc dun a threat. 1 thought ir ' Dc,pm: a spirited pcrt'ormance 1111ghr h~Ye affcctt:d Ill) score on tht: from the club as a whok L ni losr two card, I didn't realist: I was .ictually up of thcir three \'arsit\ bouts. at that prnnt. [ had to come b,tck ( lub c.lptarn · and ddllltant stronger. [ \\ as more angn than •.1than ',ur;; prm ided l ni \\'ith thdr upset or hurt. so I just rncJ tu 01·er onl) , 1ctory , ,( th<.: night. L'ars hut pow<:r !um." \kt's lames ·11mm1, h1 a.unanimous \ml come hack with po\\ er w.1, dcci,1;,11 1 '.\-12, 11-9, 8 -, to hccomL' c. :icrh wlur • l·ars diJ. ·r hl· Club C•rth ,:astern - skg Champion. capt,un left his opponent rocked with Thi· wa h, no me.ins .111 ca,, 1 ldi: h.mcl over the top that crnµ)1t \IClnn·, the former 'Lu:: K\\011 Do him syuare in the face. The bout sp,-c1al1st h,1, mg to 01·crcomc :1 scrit:s ended w1th the fighters trading nf difiicultits. c.irs suffered a combos. shouldcr mjun in the wccks leading ln the final round Scar· ht:camc up m the light, and had to urvh·c .1 lc,s re en ed, but the knock d, 1\1·n an cight count l.1tc on ,ind an carly left him \\·1th little option otht:r tlun onslaught from Timmis,,, ho:e bus · to mo,·e on to the front foot for the ·tdc whipped up .t frcnz1 among first lime despite a rcluctancL to :\let's strong conringenr nf thro\\, roo man\' punches with his support<.:rs. mjurnl shoukkr Dt:sp1rc T11nm1s' · 1ndu ·tn, :-.<.:.1rs In the :SI kg onh I:a tern c11ns1qcnrh picknl up p1i1nrs Counues P111al, forrrn:r Club capt:1111 through thL round, capitalt ·ing on ,111d club , crcran lames ( )li\·t:r Jud am openings afforded him. Ir,,~. perhaps rhc mu,ghesr bout ot rhe the accurac\' of ears's cnuntcr night. His oppont:nt two umes punching an·d good fonrwork thar Bl CS champion James Burn prm·cd highlighted the marked diffcn.:nCL' ton chsc1plmed. Oliver titre\\ .1 lot of bcrwccn the fighter . punches and wa. bu. icr throughout. Sc.irs's patient ,lppro,1cl1 TI1t· \·olumc of punches. however, contrasted with Timm.is. who 'l.'.<:tncJ did ll(lt tran lart: imo poims, \\1th the ,u ,int int<.:nr '>11 mrning the bout r fight re ulung m a unan1mou into a hr:rn I. • Lars'· right jaih d~cis1on 1-2, -1--'3. 2. \\'hill· Olnu cnnttnuulh found 1ts m.uk a he \\·a · un,1ble to scorc \\ 1th an, \\'C:t\'Cd arrJUnd Timmi. 's flume,, frctiucnc~ his industq k,pt h1 ducking olll of r.lllge ,mJ capita.Iismg "1:?P'.mcnr.; ,coring opp •nunitic w ;1 cm an expo ed guard ro core \\itl1 a mmimum. succcs. ion of combo .. Th<. tlurd round ccmcntnl Burn· hcrwccn Dan Cleal and lames Rirson The fir:t and second round wc:re Despite a lhihng miss punch c.Hl\' , icrnn, . coring hc.1vih. Burn': or orthumbna L'ni,·ersir, in the -1 both ught with onl\ a point betwet:n on in the Tcond,, cars cnnrrolled the footw,;rk prm cd ;, ", good for OliYcr k!; weight class wa .. a \'ery close affair rhe fighters in each. \, the second Sears's right two-minute round. The pair traded who said afo.:r the tight. Ritsnn wa. the more aggres.1n: round progrc:sed. Burn began to for much of the second minute, "I ic wa . o fagr. In the second fighct:r scoring well. '' C<)me on to the front foot :1s he tried Timmis forcing Scars mto the corner round l was tr\ tng to slog him anti jab In the ccond round the ti rbters to c,rnbli. h , lead ,wcr C)Ii, er. \ for a brief period hut h<: failed to tr} mg to get 111 ·1 de him. I lalf wa~ traded well, Cleal pinning Ritson in loose left jab, hnwt:, t.:r, was . core hca, 1h. cars reg.11nt:d his through the final round I remember the cornt:r with a succession of good countLred \\·di b, Cllherwith a continually compnsurc landing :1 couple of clc.m thinking I can't heat this l..'lll. I don't punches to the body bm Rusnn still strong right I l'-·er thL tnp. lefts of his 1>wn to t:nd the round. know h~>\\' to hear him. · ' managed w edge the round. "[ planned ro feint him and come found its CJ'eaJ, ho~1-e\'er, showed his on the inside. I d1ough1 that would LJUICkLrfcct tn the third when it was work, It works on most people. I mark, rm, late to rctrie,·e the hour - In ing d1dn'c cspecr his !~et m be that fast, I by majom\· deci ·ion 13-9, - -6, --8. didn't expect him to be that calibre.'' · Olinr ~aid of the club' ambitions In the 59 kg d1ns1nn L'ni's ducking out fnr the future. "The i\ [et ban: larger :-.ccphen Jones fought the taller sports facili ues then wc do so the) J(.ieron Dt:nmish of tht: :\[et. Like of range and can actuall\' bns in their own campus. Scar , this \\ as I ones ·s fir. t bout \\' here as for us the space: 111 the compared to De,· onisb wbn has had sports centre 1s very limm:d. tL'n bouts. ThL' L'ni fighter was capitalising on "\\ t: all bos our of the same place ccrra.inh the busier of the two, bur and 1 would consider the :\let, maybe suffer~J from the height an exposed nm th1 ,·car bur certainly la t yt::tr, Jisa Tht txasperation of a Gryphons reasonably sized crowd w;is articulated by the coaching stafrs sighs and lamentations of "poor txccution." \ simple penalty gave ~1anchestcr the lead, and it was this first score that appeared to rcn1se the home side into action. 11:l\ ing worked their way en the Men's Rugby Union visnors' rwent\•-two me1re line, I .eeds began tr; pla) with purp<>sL Leeds Gryphons lsDi 12 - 6 and rh, thm, with Duncan Pollock Manchester I sts the or;hestramr at scrum-half. \s the attack moved out wide, outside-centre Matthew J\[ilsom straightened the line of attack with Rugby union i supposedly a sport an arrowing run, before pass1ng to in crisis, and its ailing reputation I lubert Brown who finishcd the will hardl) ha,'C been enhanced by move neath·. Torn Platt added thc die Leeds G ryphons' laboured 12- conversion'w give the Gryphons a 6 wm oYer ~[anchester. 7_3 lead. Leeds will care little for Despite thi. brief flourish, aesthetics, h01,ve, er, as the result however, the half was filtlngly consolidates their place at the top concluded with a knock-on. of the lcaguL. \fter such a fragmented first Two G ryphons tnes were rare period, it was a relief that the highlights that proved enough to second half began brightly. earn the ,,ome side an eighth win \n inc1s1ve break from Milsom from nine games this season. tore a gaping hole 111 thL Last month's uninspiring, low lanchcscer defence, which was scoring autumn internationals saw exploited b) Cokell, whose simple rugb) union criticised b) tun-in cxrcndcd the advantage to spectators and media, and such nine points. dreariness was reflected b) a The visitors hit back with a FACE-OFF: Leeds (right) prepare for a scrum in their stop-start win over Manchester Photo: Joey Severn. stuttering openmg to this fixture. penalty to reduce cbe deficit to I 2- A tendenc, from both teams to 6, and rhe match appeared to bL in Milsom each spending ten minutes Gryphons' half were in vain. Cartwright afforded himself a wr) boot possession away wa danger of becoming exciting. 1n the sin bin. Even with these ft came as no surprise thar mile as he renecred on the narrow • particularly symptomatic of the The threat of entertainment was periods of numerical supenoricy, Manchester's best chance came victor). "Today's performance was sport's current trend of subdued, however, by a succession though, Manchester were unable from a kick, but a surge to the line different, to say the leasr." monotonou kicking exchanges. of one-d1mens1onal Manchester . cize the 1111aative. that came as a result of a high, ·'We made it hard for our'6elves. And when Leeds eventually attacks and yet more kicking from 1\ combination of their own cross-field punt was halted by The pitch wasn't great so It was decided to keep ball in hand, a both sides. predictability going forward and a some stout resistancc on the home difficult unch:rfoot, but we did well litter of handling errors continued Leeds were twice reduced 10 re olute Leeds defence meant that try line. to hold them off and come away to puncture any porenciallr flowmg fourteen players, with Cokel! and the visitors' long stays in the Assistant coach Matty with a win." phases of play. Classy Loughborough outwjt Leeds More worrying than the evident gap changes m order to avoid She was resilient tl,roughout, but ns the Gryphons 111 quality between the sides wa the embaa:assmenL match proceeded she was faced with appearance from the outset that the Karie Williams was brought on as two markers. Gryphons didn't believe an upset was \ ing Attack and her energy and Frustratingly I !eye., moved to Goal possible. hunger for tl1e ball gave tl,e Gryphons Attack for the second half, persistently Emma I Icyes, playing at Centre in a spark that tl1ey had lacked before. took on the almo. t impossible pass the first quarter, continually I ler impact seemed instant. Only a rather than shooting herself. squandered her opening pass, failing to minute into the third quarter she Relegation now looms, but a victory find a teammate on ber first three orchestrated a move tl1at saw her make away to bottom of the table Edinburgh centres. a short pa s at the halfwa) line, before next week should be enough to avoid Women's Netball Passmg was consistent!) uncertain and sprinting diagonally acros the chi eventualit). Leeds Gryphon lsts 27 - 62 throughout the team, and although court to the left of the scoring D. The team will hope to improve if Loughborough 1sts tl1ere were some glimmers of incisive In position for a rerum ball, her high they arc to rrrnke any impact on next .. play by I leves and Carly Hobdam, the pass sailed over the heads of the year's championship round. Gryphons were cononually unable to defence for Somh co score. move the ball into scoring positions. Leeds opened the fourth quarter The Gryphon's difficult return to the Charlotte outh, playing at Goal with similar strength, and South BUC Premier orth continued last Shooter for the majority of the game, displayed her class witJ, three pmnts in Wednesday as they endured a was undoubtedly the Gryphon's most two minutes from incrcasmgly clifficult Player of the Match comprehensh·e defeat at the hands of reliable player. positions, tl1c last of which was from Katie \X'illiams league leaders Loughborough. Opportunities, however, were the very edge of the shooting area. The transition to the top division extremely limited, particularly m the Despite these moment~ of hope, Althouµh Ch,trlonc South was impeccable ftS fo llowing promotion last eason has fir t half of the match, and she spent Loughborough were unfr,rgiving, and Go:tl Sht•>tcr. her supply was sorelr lacking unnl the imrnJuctinn , ,fWill~uns • energy :ind .. beeo tough, and Leeds still have some periods in isolation. refused to let Leeds back into tJ,e game. tlrl\·t. way to go if they are to truly compete at Despite tr.tiling 36-9 at the half time lf Leed are 10 improve, they need rhi level. break, Leeds did appear willing to make to be less reliant upon South for pomrs. .. • • • • • Should players play for their adopted nations? Marsh marches Leeds to victory the.: home ·ick ruing the amount of ,conng opporturuties the) fatl c.:d to Gryphons convert in the first hall'. .\l:!rsh had anorher ,hot sa, L"d aftl r 1nc1s1vc \\·ork b1· Laurn Sugar, while Gamble and C,rcc.:n both Ind their efforts sa\'c.:d b1 thl.! cwca,tle kc.:cpcr. In the ch·111g second: of the first h.df careless Jefc.:ns11·e work 1n I ceds' own third rt:sultc.:d in a ' c:1, ca tic c.:LJualisL r completc.:I Women's Hockey .1ga1nst the run of pla1. Ll'Ctb ( ;iy Jlh< ins I SI s 2 I l'\\'C:tst.le The Gn-phons had to do I st 1111ht>t1l one of their ccnlrl' backs for th.: majorit) of thl' gamt:, as Pnhl.!r \\ as forced from the.: field mid wa1 through the l1rst period I .l'cds (, ryphons dcl11 crcd a guts\ alter raking :1 b.111 re, the upper arm displa1 to outcl 1ss t,ip o t th.: tabk l lowcvc.:r, the re.: or:1;:1n1s ·1tion 'n1 cistk 2 I. ThL I lCll'TI came on roulJ rH>I dna1I thL'm, ~ 1th Sugar tht back llf a loss ag.1in t 1 11 Lq,ool .ind c.1ptain Kir ll1gg1ns r.ll'eh· Li . t \l (.' k Ch ,l r s a \Y tl1 l u Ill I tit looking trouh!td in dc.:Jc.:ncc.:. • • • • •