Monday, February 02 | the Bleat

Monday, February 02 | The Bleat. 10/25/13, 9:52 AM ABOUT Search It’s Template Frenzy Weekend Monday Matchbook: Minot’s Smart Set RECENT COMMENTS polymathamy on 06.14.12 Bleat MONDAY, FEBRUARY 02 Amanda from Michigan on Boo. Hiss on FEBRUARY 2, 2009 · 41 COMMENTS · in DOMESTIC LIFE Julie on Testing the new RSS feed idea shesnailie on Autobots and Bruckner Wagner von Drupen- Sachs on Autobots and Bruckner Took the dog to the vet to get his nether parts expressed. I don’t know how long he’d had this problem; you don’t spend a 140 OR SO lot of time lifting your dog’s tail to see what Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few condition his condition is in. But my wife minutes and refresh this page. noted an anomaly – and yes, I’m going to use every possible euphemism available CLICK – AND SAVE! here – and asked if dogs got - YouSendIt Is Now Thinking of a good way to put this - Hightail www.hightail.com Thinking - Share Your Large Files & Okay, you’ve heard the expression “dogpile”? Okay. That. For some reason the Folders. Start Your Free Trial phrase “impacted gland” came to mind, and let me tell you, that’s one Google Today! Image Search you can’t unsee. We got him in on Saturday morning, and off we went with Natalie and her friend, who was over to play for the day and regarded a trip to the event as a grand opportunity to see cats and dogs BECAUSE THEY’RE SO CUUUTE. A BOOK I RECOMMEND Jasper, as ever, stood by the door and looked out, refusing to accept any of this. He whined, and yawned – something I’d bet 98% of people misinterpret http://lileks.com/bleat/?p=674 Page 1 of 15 Monday, February 02 | The Bleat. 10/25/13, 9:52 AM – and ignored the other dogs. There were two snooty poodles and one ancient dog with red eyes like an old alcoholic. One cat hunched in its crate staring venom at everyone. When we were called a very sweet vet took him back into another room for drainage; Jasper trotted off without complaint. Upon returning she said that he had indeed been overbrimming in the back- department glandular genre, but the item we’d observed was still in Child 44 Tom Rob Smith evidence. It was either some sort of infection due to the overinflated gland, or Best Price $0.01 or Buy New a benign tumor, or a not-benign tumor. In the last two cases she did not recommend removal. I knew why: if it’s benign, and it’s not in harm’s way, whisper words of wisdom, let it be. If it’s not benign, well . Privacy Information She didn’t have to say it; he’s 14 next month. THE PAST AT YOUR FINGERTIPS We got some antibiotics in case it is an infection, and said we’d see her in OCTOBER 2013 April for his annual. S M T W T F S I’m not worried. I can’t say why, but I’m not. He’s old; he’s stiff in the 1 2 3 4 5 morning, which is why I have to help him down the stairs lest he body-surf 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 half the way. But it’s not his time. My wife took him for a walk the afternoon after his appointment, and they were gone an hour. I’ve been around old 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 dogs who’ve had enough and smelled it all; they just exist, they walk with a 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 pained gait, they slump, they stare, they take no joy in anything. Jasper 27 28 29 30 31 spends most of his day sitting on the sofa dozing in the sun, but bring a pizza « Jul in the house and he’s a puppy. Tell him it’s time for a walk and he’s up and at ‘em. It’s not his time. There’s a spring coming, and he’ll smell it before any of THE DISTANT PAST us. July 2013 Saturday night it was time for Tableau Festive, the Crazy Uke’s name for our June 2013 sporadic meat-and-whiskey consumption events. It’s the old college gang: May 2013 myself, the aforementioned Uke, the Giant Swede, and Wes the Perfesser. (Wes was previously the Filmmaker, but since he’s now a teacher at a local April 2013 university, he deserves a professorial upgrade to his moniker.) The Giant March 2013 Swede for years has been in charge of the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, more February 2013 or less. I exaggerate, but not by much; the actual job title is Facilities Manager January 2013 for Northwest. You may have head that Northwest is no more. Delta has a different way of doing things, so he’s on the way out, looking for a new job. December 2012 The Crazy Uke is in the mortgage industry. I’m in newspapers. So no one’s November 2012 exactly sitting around wondering what to do with the calluses we have on October 2012 our thumbs from excessive twiddling. September 2012 We ate at Erte, a difficult thing to say after two whiskys; it’s an incredible August 2012 restaurant in NE across from the venerable 331 bar. Steak was consumed, July 2012 steak so tender you could actually absorb it topically if you liked. Live music June 2012 in the corner. Full house. At one point we all went outside for the post-meal cigar – the Uke knows the owner & staff, so they didn’t mind that the entire May 2012 table got up and left after the meal – and we asked a lone smoker outside to April 2012 take our picture. November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 http://lileks.com/bleat/?p=674 Page 2 of 15 Monday, February 02 | The Bleat. 10/25/13, 9:52 AM August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 She was drunk. July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 Then we called Jack. This will probably be a new term for High Spirits, and April 2010 I’m surprised it took me this long to think of it. Have a good time last night? I was about this close to calling Jack. March 2010 February 2010 That would be Jack V. , aka Jet Varhar, the Colonel of the Armenian Liberation Army, the Missing Man. Every old gang has one. If you have an old gang, that January 2010 is. The members of the Tableau Festive go back, way back; the Uke and the December 2009 Swede grew up together, but we all coalesced at the fabled Valli in the late November 2009 70s, and have never lost touch. Jack went back to Cali, got a good job, married October 2009 a good woman, and got happy. Two dogs and a pool. He was never happy when we knew him; he was the true Tragic Figure of the Valli, the man who September 2009 got off the train in Minneapolis – for love! Which didn’t work out, of course – August 2009 and spent half a decade in grim despond, chain-smoking Marlboros in the July 2009 Valli basement, radiating a bleak caustic mood that could peel skin down to June 2009 bone. Sometimes. The rest of the time he was cheerful and merry and a boon companion, and he was also mercilessly intelligent. He had a degree in May 2009 philosophy. He was actually en route to grad school elsewhere when he got April 2009 off the train in Minneapolis – for love, as noted – and while he intended to go March 2009 back to grad school, he became trapped in the tarpits of the Valli, where all February 2009 around him people made arguments that were logically meretricious. His was the most incisive mind I’d ever met. He saw through everyone’s BS, January 2009 which can be a terrible curse when it comes to your friends. HOST WITH THE MOST As I said, he went back to Cali, got a good job, married a good woman, got two dogs and pool. If someone made a movie about the Valli, I suppose he would have been the one who sold out, but no: he’s happy, and he’s as smart as ever. Life for him is fine. And now and then, when he least expects it, the phone rings: four guys from the olden times standing outside in Minnesota, full of meat and Irish fluids, calling just to say HEY. YOU. Every time we get http://lileks.com/bleat/?p=674 Page 3 of 15 Monday, February 02 | The Bleat. 10/25/13, 9:52 AM together, we miss you. To be frank, your name doesn’t even have to come up. We’re not even telling old stories. But Wes gets out the phone, starts talking, laughs, hands it over, and we know it’s you. I may never actually see Jack again, but if I get a call in 2039, and it’s Wes, and he says “It’s Jack,” well, off we’ll go to LA. There are some people you meet at certain times in your life; you could not see them face to face for forty years, and still do 30 minutes from the heart at their wake.

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