THECORD WEEKLY I Wilfrid Laurier University, Waterloo, Ontario Thursday, March 31, 1983 Volume 23 Number 22 Coaches to leave en masse to T.O.? by Chuck Kirkham

Laurier's athletic program could be losing two coaches next year to the University of Toronto. Three ofLaurier's coaches have applied for two openings at Toronto. One of the coaches that could be leaving is Athletic Director "Tuffy" Knight. "I can make no comment, either way, at this time."' Knight replied when asked if he has or has not applied for the job at Toronto. Gib Chapman, Toronto's Director of Athletics, would only comment that "Whatever speculation you have made is probably correct," when asked which Laurier coaches have applied for the positions in Toronto. Coaches that have confirmed they applied for jobs in Toronto are: Associate Athletic Director, Rich Newbrough, and hockey coach, Wayne Gowing. Gowing has been the hockey coach at Laurier for ten years, twice being named coach of the year in Ontario, and this past' year coached the Hawks to a provincial championship and a berth in the national tournament. Knight, who has been Laurier's Athletic Director for 17 years and head football coach for sixteen is one of the most successful football coaches in Canadian University history. This year past he became only the third coach to win 100 games in Canadian football at the university level. In his career at Laurier he has won 5 Western Ontario titles and participated in 7 post season bowl games. Newbrough, who has been at Laurier for 15 years, has also applied for the job of head football coach at Toronto. Over 75 men applied for Board members Gord Annear and Scott MacKenzie with OMB directors Dave Edwards and the position and it is known at this time that Newbrough has made it Kevin Dryden analyse arguments for and against making the Cord editor a full-time paid through the screening process to the second round and is one of five position. The motion passed unanimously marking a day in history for Student Publications. men left in the running for the job. It is believed, but unconfirmed, that Tuffy is also one of these men. Also unconfirmed is that a present CFL Photo by Karim Virani coach is in the running. Newbrough stated that he was fairly happy here at Laurier but the Toronto job was a better one than what he presently holds. "I have more leeway here than most head coaches have elsewhere. I have turned down other jobs because of this." Newbrough also added that WLUSU approves paid Editorship he thought Laurier's program (football) was second in the province only to Western. by Steve Patten costs by eliminating the positions of desirable to select a student as Wayne Gowing is recognized as one of the best recruiters of hockey talent in reason This past Sunday evening the Directory, Calendar and Handbook Editor and demand that person Ontario universities. His for leaving is unclear. He said "I, and other are WLUSU Board of Directors Editors, who previously received transfer to part-time studies. To coaches, always looking for other opportunities. Moving to Toronto is such an approved financing for the Board of honorariums. The Student compensate for this alteration to the opportunity. 1 did not apply because Toronto necessarily has a better hockey program. We had a better Student Publications proposal to Publications Board and WLUSU Editor's academic career, the program here at Laurier than they did at last make the Cord Editor a salaried Director of Finance, Deb Moffet, honoraria could be increased and Toronto year." Gowing added, "There is no at Laurier. I position. predict the combined effects ofthese additional summer courses could be problem with coaching am not upset with this surrounding. It is just excellent and will get Beginning next year, the Editor improvements will offset the Ed- paid by WLUSU. better." This is the second time three years he has applied for the shall be from August Ist itor's salary by $4000. in job in employed Toronto. to April 30th at a salary of slightly In his presentation to the WLUSU In discussion following the The decision on the position will come down in the next two over $9,000 for the nine-month Board, news Editor Blaine Connolly meeting, Pekrul explained that she weeks. period. asked the Directors to think about would have no objections to the This proposal, which has been a what they expect from a student Editor taking a class although the In a presentation to the Board, topic of debate within Student paper. A paper can vary in quality person would be expected to treat Kevin Byers expressed concern Publications and the WLUSU from that of a newsletter to the their position as a full-time job and about the proposal causing an end to Inside executive for some months, was first quality of the major dailies. be on hand at all necessary hours. the entirely "student run" nature of brought to the attention of tfye Connolly stated that he thought the Pekrul also pointed out that the the Cord Weekly. Like Connolly, he WLUSU Board of Directors shortly Cord has been good and admitted Editor's position will terminate each asked the Board members to this after their election in early that a full-time editor would April and although a person may question if it was a necessary step. February. In making her formal improve it still further, but he apply for a second term, the position Byers also expressed concern that week presentation to the WLUSU Board, questioned what can acceptably be will be viewed as having a nine- the students who fund WLUSU will Student Publications President, Rita done to improve the paper. Is the month duration. She also explained not notice a change in the Cord Pekrul informed the Board that a student body willing to finance the that the proposal contained an significant enough to be justly Feature: majority of the Cord volunteers and position and also lose the student understood objective to fill the interpreted as a return on their Should Broadbent retire? her entire Student Publications orientation of the Cord to gain Editor's post with a person directly investment. pgs 10-11 Board favoured the move to a improvements? Connolly suggested out of their final year at WLU or a After weighing the arguments of salaried Editor. that the Cord fulfilled the role of a student taking a year away from the lengthy debate, even the Board Canada in the dark on arms The WLUSU executive, student paper and suggested that we studies. Board member Val Holder members who had concerns about race pg. 13 commonly called OMB or "stop right here". expressed uncertainty about the the proposal, such as Gord Annear Operations Management Board, WLUSU President, Tom ability of any full-time person to and Scott MacKenzie, decided it also expressed unanimous support Reaume, explained that he felt the relate to students. Holder stated that was worth a try. Rita Pekrul stated White reflects on human nature for the proposal. The strongest vocal quality of the Cord this year has she was concerned that "it is very the there is a "responsibility to put pg. 13 objection to the move came from the been impressive due to the easy for them to lose student out quality work, a paid editor will Cord news section Editor, Blaine exceptional dedication of the contact". do that." The motion passed 14-0. Feature: Anorexia Nervosa - a Connolly, and former WLUSU student volunteers who receive only deadly obsession Presidential candidate, Kevin Byers. a small honoraria. Reaume pg. 15 The main objective of expanding expressed concern about the this once voluntary position into a probability of retaining this quality salaried position is to promote co- without a full time Editor to ordinated efficiency. The Board organize and co-ordinate the efforts Easter Sunrise Service Cockburn's 'Trouble with expects that improved co-ordination of the student volunteers. the second and feature a Normal' challenges listeners by Laura Gainer century will of operations will bring to students a Others pointed out that recent procession from the Seminary pg. 16 consistently longer and high quality Editors have had to work excessive This week is Holy Week and Building in which participants will news paper and more efficient use of hours that have led to near burn out. Christians around the world will carry tambourines and torches. Final orchestra concert student publications resources. Present Cord Editor, Mike gather to celebrate the suffering, During the service the Paschal tonight in TA Past issues of the Cord have Strathdee, stated that when essays, death and resurrection of Jesus Candle, a reminder to Christians pg. 16 varied in length from sixteen to exams or social activities distract Christ. that Christ is the Light and Centre of twenty-eight pages. A full time student volunteers from their work, Here at Laurier, the Lutheran the world, will be lit. Also, the editor managing production of a "it comes down to either the editor Campus Ministry, the Roman Christian Reform Chaplain Rev. Chuck says goodbye, Theresa consistently longer weekly edition is does it or it does not get done, fact of Catholic Ministry and the Christian Graham Morbey will give a short says HI. expected to increase Canadian life!". This year Strathdee has had to Reformed Campus Ministry are address. pg. 20 University Press and local switch from full time to part time sponsoring an Easter Sunrise Everyone is invited to attend. advertising revenues significantly. studies to fulfill his duties Service. Interested participants should meet We're so glad we had this In addition, the Editor will assist in Editor. The service is to be held regardless at Waterloo Park or at Keffer time together co-ordinating revenue-producing Connolly and Board member, of the weather at 6:00 a.m., Sunday Chapel at 5:45 a.m. Following the Thanks everyone! activity with the typesetter and Gord Annear, asked if it would be April 3, at Silver Lake in Waterloo service, breakfast will be served in graphics arts camera and reducing sufficient and perhaps more Park. The service itself dates back to the Chapel lounge. PAGE2 WATERLOO CUTICLE, THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1983 Progressive Conservative Hopefuls Dr. Bette Stephenson MacDougaldheim whole education issue I have come W AMP meeting to announce her compromise candidate. "I by Dave Docherty to gain a lot of respect for the candidacy the Dr. replied "I felt it This past Monday, William expect to be 7th or 8th on After a somewhat surprising University students. Now Ottawa is would be a good place politically to (Willi) MacDougaldheimer declared ballot, then move my way announcement this morning, the trying to put the blame on us do so. After all I am the first woman himself a candidate for the Willi. This, as Willi federal Conservative Party found provinces for not doing our part." to run in this campaign, and if I can Progressive Conservative leader­ because he has something to itself with another leadership Dr. Stephenson told the 350 get the woman's caucus to support ship. Willi joins former leader Joe all Conservatives. For candidate. W AMPers who came to hear her me before that other female from Clark, Montreal businessman Brian the Blue Tories, Willi The 35th person to announce their announcement, "So maybe if I can Kingston tries to muscle in on my Mulroney, Newfoundland MP John tight mQnetary policies, intention of taking over Joe Clark's get up to the federal capital I can get territory, I should stand a good Crosbie, and a host of others all taxes, a balanced budget, and old job is well known amongst many this mess straightened out once and chance of winning a victory for all of bidding for the PC leadership. inflation rate. Ontario Tories, Dr. Bette for all. I want to make it perfectly my fellow W AMPers. As well, once Willi, a fourth year arts and crafts And for the Red Tories? Stephenson. The good Doctor made clear right now that I'm not calling the University crowd hears of my major here at Laurier, claims that federal spending, low · her political plans public at a the federal government liars, but plans, they will be more than happy his summer job (five years running) and low unemployment rate. gathering of 'Women Against Male somewhere between Ottawa and the to campaign on my behalf, won't at the Rideau Club in Ottawa, was also an advocate of Politicians' (W AMP). provincial capitals there have been a they?" instrumental in his decision to run. punishment "so long as no During the three hour speech, few million dollars misplaced. My Although getting off to a late start "It's amazing what some of those hurt". which attacked everything from own feeling is that they ended up in in the campaign, Dr. Stephenson guys (Conservative MPs) will say When asked about his present federal government policy to the hospitals." does not feel at a disadvantage in the once they have had a few," claims contradictory policies, Maureen McTeer's interior After the speech Dr. Stephenson leadership race. As the Doctor Willi. "Once I'm elected I'll form a designing abilities, Dr. Stephenson answered reporters questions in the pointed out "All of my colleagues in While not a frontrunner, Willi Commission to the made it quite clear exactly why she lobby of the Royal York where thr Queens Park say that they are 100% considers himself to be a issue." was vying for top dog. "Ever since I WAMP weekly lunch was being behind me. Especially Larry agreed to help Mr. Davis with this held. When asked why she chose a Grossman; funny that, isn't it?" Library study leads to scuffles

by Allen Skuce They are presently planning a the results of the study have merely procedure whereby students would confirmed this. My own Those of you who have spent any be able to reserve these seats interpretation is that the fifth floor is time studying in the library are in advance for a specified period of the highest floor on the library and, probably aware of the fifth floor time with the payment of a fee. (as as such, contributes to an ethos scramble for desks, a recent yet undetermined.) characterized by "pushing it to the phenomenon precipitated by the The researchers offered no limit". In adition to this, the fifth work of several researchers at WLU. interpretation of their results, noting floor can be conceived as the last Briefly, their results indicated the only that their statistical analysis stop in a series of progressive following: if all else is equal, was significant at the .01 level. movements upwards. Because it is a U-LOCK IT -- U KEEP THE KEY · · · studying of the fifth as opposed to I have always pn:ferred to wort< last stop, the work that one is third or fourth floors will result in on the east side of the third floor required to do is psychologically 50% more comprehension of studied myself but now I am plagued by an squeezed out at this point. SIZES 5 x 10 - 5 x 1 5 material (no significant ditferenccs anxious feeling that I am not The researchers have stated that 10 Jl 10 - 10 Jl 15 - 10 X 20 between the second and third floor studying at optimal levels of persons who are accustomed to OTHER StZES AVAILA8lf were noted). efficiency. Prior to the report, I had studying in other locations strould UPON REQUEST Furthermore, individuals noted a general preference among not be advise9 to study on the west studying on the west side retain 75% ' students for studying on the fifth side of the fifth floor. The statistics more material than do individuals floor. Perhaps their is some logical are based on groups; individuals who study on any of the other three explanation for the fact that the fifth may differ from the overall pattern sides. Obviously, the preferred desks floor is the most conducive one to as to the most effective study for study are those located on the efficient studying but as of yet, the locations. In conclusion, I would west side of the fifth floor. researchers have not given any like to counsel fellow students to be Several scuffles have been indication as to what this might be. reasonable in their attempts to reported by library staff who feel Students apparently have secure the most valued desks in the that the results of the pilot study intuitively determined that the fifth library; let's not have any more of should not have been made public. floor is superior for study purposes; those scuffles.

Kermit named Romance Languages head

with the logic of the Ontario studying French, why not put a Cuticle staff reporter government's rationalization plans. frog in charge?" Kermit the frog, the popular Kermit will replace Michaelangelo Interviewed at his spacious Palm amphibian television star previously Boringas, who 'headed up the beach lily pad, Kermit was clearly noted more for his movie and t.v. department from 1902 unti11982. A enthusiastic about the move. He told performances than for his academic department professor, who asked the Cord that the recent conversion credentials, has been named to head not to be named, saw the move as a of the AC to an aquarium (see story up the Romance Languages necessary one. "We've been taking a pg. I) was a determining factor in his Shaw Graduates have taken department at WLU effective this lot of bull from Spaniard over the decision to leave Hollywood for fall. In announcing the move, the years, so we thought that it was time Laurier. the most important step Dean of Arts and Sciences stressed for a change. Since the bulk of Michaelangelo Boringas could that the appointment is in keeping students in the department are not be reached for comment. to a successful career. Shaw Colleges is the right place for people who are serious about their future. Shaw graduates find that in a very short time they get the entrance exam challenging, satisfying job they've been looking for. U of W math Whether it's as a legal, word processing or executive secretary ... or in business management, business b~· Mike O'Brien characteristics of the ancient OUIMETTE. administration or accounting. You see them around town Babylonian Empire with particular 10, What are the people that live No question about it! Shaw Graduates are going places­ wearing their leather jackets, you see reference to architecture, literature, in Canada's far north called­ fast! So stop dreaming and find that career position them trying to dance in the law and social conditions, or give the Easterners, Westerners, Southerners you've been looking for in Jess than one year. TURRET, and sometimes they even first names of the Beatles. or Northerners? Be more employable by taking that important step to a invade your business class. That's 3. What religion is the Pope? II. Six kings of England were named successful career- today. right, it is the UNIVERSITY of Jewish, CATHOLIC, Hindu, George, the last being KING ·Call Shaw Colleges at 481·6477. 11101 WATERLOO MATH MAJOR Muslim or Anglican? (check one GEORGE VI name the first five. (mathie). But the question is not why only) 12. Who won world war II? Who Shaw Colleaes but how? How tough is it to get into 4. Would you lih to ask William came second? Your career startshere math. Well this reporter has recently Shakespeare to-build a bridge, sail 13. Where does rain come from - come across the official U of W the ocean, lead an army or WRITe supermarkets, Eatons, U.S.A. or the llllll 2436 Yonge Street MATH ENTRANCE EXAM. A PLAY. sky? ------Shaw Col#fiiiiiS Toronto, Canada M4P 2H4 A few rules before you begin 5. What is nickel made of? 14. Can you explain Einstein's Your career start!here 481-64 77. There is a limit of three weeks. It 6. What time is it when the big theory of relativity? Yes or No'! is a written exam, however if the hand is on the five and the little hand 15. What are mathie's famous for­ student is illiterate (as most are) an is on the one? money, intelligence, weather or Name Age oral exam can b_e given changing 7. How many commandments stupidity. (check the last one only) only questions 9 and 17; that change (approx.) was Moses given? 16. The song 'Oh Canada' is the Address is to pronounce not spell. 8. Which team does Wayne national anthem for what country?" I. What language is spoken by the Gretsky play for? 17. Explain LeChateliers principle French Canadians? 9. S-pell- DIE FENBAK E R, of dynamic equilibrium force or 2. Give the important LAMARSH, NEILSON . . AND spell your own name in block letters. WATERLOO CUTICLE, THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1983 ''Hermanisms'' A tribute to our professors Question of the Week ;., /lint/ //m/n by Ted Levitt We have a heck of a time putting our The whole thing may be just a facade. ( nun ,,hoto foot outside our border. We're scared Enough to make a grown person cry. e r Stop hiding our light under a bushel. silly. Once you get jam and butter on your "I full Thefat'sinthejire, Ninety percent of the world's people bread. .. Question of the week the fir~~ It's a two way street, ladies and would give their eye teeth to live in Can't make a purse ollt ofa sow's ear. up .. says gentlemen . Canada. You'll be in the hopper, so to speak. What are life's three priorities? c1 · ' .· You're off your cotton pick in' rocker GAAT says that's a dirty pooh. The rest of the dumb bunnies can't t~~~rr tiS IVe're walking on egg shells. Bless you, my son. sell anything. .e f Canadians were behind the door when These are not bankers running down We're just fat ca1s. PI e. or° . advocat ·s God passed out the brams. the street with diarrhea. Just the average guy sittmg there . reduc:d .4nything above Average Variable Canadians are so darn parochial. playing tiddly winks. and a low Cost will be pure gravy. What's the rub? Michaela production assistant There is no Santa Claus. Canadians are as tight as the Chief cook and bottle washer. ! ncr<:'~'>•~d Soon as it gets on your truck, it's your wallpaper on the wall. A lot of irons in the fire. We're stunned. That's a weasel word rest rates 'ahy. Summer, sanity and slings . Willi I~ Wringing our hands and moaning and The whee/that squeeks the most gets When Ne~t · ton saw the apples capita I '-gr_oa_n_in__,g:_.__ _ the grease. dropping. ------~ Brevity can be a virtue

Earle Clare Shelley coalescent consistency and profundity, pompous prolixity, concatenated cogency. Eschew all psittacious vacuity, ventriloquial In promulgating your esoteric conglomerations of flatulent verbosity, and vaniloquent vapidity. cogitations or articulating your garrulity, jejune babblement and Shun double entendres, prurient superficial sentimentalities and asmme affectations. Let your jocosity, and pestiferous profanity Blaine news editor amicable philosophical or extemporaneous discantings and obscurant or apparent. psychological observations, beware unpremeditated expiations have In simpler language use short, of platitudinous ponderosity. Let intelligibility and veracious vivacity, simple words and be BRIEF• Alcohol, cigarettes and your conversational communication without a rhodomontade or the last issue of the Cord. possess a clarified conciseness, a thrasonical bombast. Waterloo College-December 20th compacted comprehensibileness Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic 1924 ------1 I Defamation of Character I I A Service to Our Readers (Please Print in Large Block Letters) Jackie production manager I, feel that in the issue of the Cord, page , that I was defamed and/or libelled. I Tanqueray, Tonic and Tennyson ... have never ------with the person mentioned in the article, and to the contrary I therefore demand $ as compensation.

~------~~-~-~-~------~------Bev head typesetter

never working in groups again, not being carried away by men in white and drinking a 40 ouncer when my last exam is over ~~uuu/Ou~unLc/ck Yoaa

Mike 23rd. yr. Life

Guitar, goofing off and the Grail

Leah advertising manager

wine, cheese and more wine

The one and only I)~'" ~-~ •: Southern Comfort. '·"•"·',. f ·• 14!:.~# It tastes downright friendly. and us: security, shiny shoes and Brylcream (but dOll/ ever forget sex!!!) -.. On the rocks, with orange juice or in your favourite cocktail, enjoy the taste of tradition. Send lor a free Recipe Guide: Southern Comfort Corporation, P.O. Box 775, Place Bonaventure, Montreal, Quebec H5A 1E1. PAGE4 WATERLOO CUTICLE, THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1983 ENTERTAINMENT ~h \.his \Sa

Partying Shots by John Tutt and James Murray droids will have considerable input in Canadian Business affairs is really quite stomach turning. They are all wallowing in a stagnant cesspool of conforming complacency. Our ''cultured" man with the K-WSO 3} The only thing worse than the biz student attitude is the Last Wednesday evening the get anyon~ else. I am seve~teen years Sitting beside me there was an old "high school-thinks-he's-a­ KWSO put on a perfectly delightful• old and I hke to watch S1mon and person who had trouble controlling jock-attitude" The gym bags, ski performance at the Kitchener- S1mon. The KWSO appeared and 1t his saliva. To me this was the biggest jackets, Nike shoes, occasional flaw in the concert. They shouldn't Waterloo Auditorium. The concert sweat pants and cowboy boots are allow old people to watch the all there. It's like an ad from a Sears was at night and was qu1te late KWSO. I also noticed that the)' (something I thought was in bad or Big Steel retail catalogue, the way taste). But the performance was didn't have anyone selling ice these people hang out in the cream bars like is standard 1} The Turret (I hate that concourse--the "heart" of the really decent. word}! By it's refusal to change, I took the bus because I don't procedure for the Ranger games. university. "Hey Rod, it's prime This would be an asset for future those that want change have affected time. Let's hang out by the windows have a car. I used to have a car but it it elsewhere - so you are stuck with isn't with me anymore. The bus ride concerts. in the concourse--oooh, lots of fun. Another annoying factor (I think the dregs of university life (the let's go!" Kinda reminds us ofthose took about 25 minutes. The city stagnate carp). For what it looks better at night and the driver I had even forgotten that the KWSO good old days, back in high school. was playing by now) was the represents in terms oflooks, attitude was a nice man. He looked like the abundance of flies 1n the and behavior, it stinks. The 4} Arrogant, self-righteous conductor in the orchestra; this Auditorium. Flies and Mozart are Clientele are superficial (see Dave punks, who take the entertainment was symbolic I thought. not easily mixed, especially when an Adam's article "Are you scene too seriously. Their longcoats I had to pay for my ticket; if the old person is drooling on you. An superficial" last week's Cord). The and weird hairstyles are an eyesore concert wasn't so delightful I would usher said that because it was bands, DJ's and general Sam Board to the university. But, they are the have probably said, "Boy, what a cold ont~id ... ~ lot of the old flies left philosophy IS unadventurous and new beatniks of the 8(}'s,--not jyp." The Kitchener Auditorium is a over from last year hang around the blase. What else can we add- many, victims of fashion. big place and the KWSO was rather heater boxes behind the bleacher. like us, have said it all before. Well, that's it, short and sweet! late in coming on - ten minutes in He had worked there for 25 years; he We got our picture in and hopefully fact. had no flies on him. 2} The Biz-student Attitude: if all goes well, we'll be around to One thing I should tell you. My The KWSO wrapped up the show Arrogant, cut throat and narrow­ influence the entertainment scene knowledge in classical music is early. This was alright by me minded. They see life as one big for a few mon: years as doers rather severely tacky. I was asked to go seemed like there was quite a lm because I was home in time to catch case. Their life is the problem. The than bitchers. Cynicism is too because the entertainment editor left members - about 34 or so. They "Smokey and The Bandit" part III problem is them. To think that these cheap. this to the last minute and couldn't didn't play very loud. on my $15,000 video machine. THE CANADIAN Big changes in store for Wilf's CROSSWORD+

implemented. "The first thing I ACROSS 10 Initials 16 Stop horse 2 Trudeau's ex gonna do is tear the whole joint and others 1 Rich Little? 11 Riser 19 Throw out down and start over. Also, I'm 3 See 4 across 4 With 3 and 12 Faltered 20 Ship's a'gonna buy a grand piano and get • staff 4 Alta. river 24 down. major 14 Queen of Oscar Peterson in here three nights a geograph i ca I 23 Great Lake 5 One, two, division i n German week. This place needs some 15 Alta. place 25 Soaked out 6 Hungry E. of Red Deer 6 Quebec character." Picard went on to say 27 Boy or girl's peninsula that cost was not a real problem. name, simi Jar to one of 7 Panache When asked if he thought students Trudeau' s - sons 8 M .D .s could afford to frequent his 29 Brazen restaurant, Andre replied that 13 Exhaust 30 N.W.T. river 14 Shallow water nobody told him this was a 31 Home's outdoo r 17 Pups of this ex. tens ion university. He remarked · "who species, object cares, and what's done is done, eh?" 32 U.S . President of Can. hunt i nit i a 1 s 18 B. C. ski mt. Stair part 33 21 Alta . COI!'Illuniry DOWN 22 Can. city I'm gonna tear the joint down 1 Ridicules opp . Detroit and start over. 24 See 4 across 26 __garde c.l982 THE CANADIAN CROSSWORD #97 COAST TO COAST NEWS SERVICES INC. 28 Tree 29 Dr i nk slowly Not surprisingly there has been some opposition from the WLU Brass. Dean Nichols, whose office is adjacent to the proposed restaurant, expressed opposition to the plan stating "the place would be disturbing, and besides, Andre's a (deleted)." Picard demonstrated his ability to smooth things over when he offered to supply a special tab for certain privledged individuals.

Theoretically, this tab could be run up so high that even Andre would Andre Picard lose count, and then they'd have to forget the whole thing. The Board of Governors have passed the idea in Remember Wilfs, the quaint and helped to get Andre's creative juices principle, though one member was respectable little place that flowing. "Yes, yes," he said, I know heard to say "Andre better not be distributes detailed brochures, just what I will do. We will change this serving any of mv food." for listing the hours? Well, there's place into a French restaurant. I will going to be some changes next year, hire chefs and waiters and store Mr. Picard is in Canada on a since Andre Picard has filled the new hoards of French wine. It will be landed immigrant status. He is from manager's position created by liquor sn oerb, I guarantee it." Nimes, Frarice and has no services at WLU. It was agreed by all that a French immediate family, except for an Andre reveals some of the plans restaurant was indeed a good idea, uncle in Toronto who refuses to see he has for the next term. "Ah well, I but whether it was practical was him. One day last week, it was half have so many ideas ... so many I can't questionable. Some suggested the past eleven in the morning and remember them all. But I will try for transformation may be possible if Picard was seen with some you." We went and had lunch. Food only slight changes were strawberry jam in his beard. WATERLOO CUTICLE, THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1983 PAGES

When in Soulhern California visit tiJ~~~~~ BTUDIDB TOUR Political expression HAVE YOU MR WANTED TO KNOW overrides."nothing fancy" WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT? style of new band

With all the grandstanding going on these days, the last thing you'd want to hear about is another new band claiming to "revolutionize the current trends in progressive music." And yet another group has emerged out of the rank and file of artists conveying something of great social and political importance. input really "The Damned" is due to be coming through the Waterloo area in the early are all summer and it may be something to watch for- but even they aren't quite sure. of Confused? So was this writer until some investigation clarified the mystery surrounding "The Damned." They play a little jazzy-type music that emphasizes the fact that it's really nothing fancy; mostly light numbers- a little Hagood Hardy, sometimes they do material from the Boss Brass. But the format of the band's operations on stage is the element that makes "The Damned" unique in comparison to other groups today. As one member put it (he refused to be identified) "there's so many bands today that rarely have anything socially relevant expressed in their music. We've

The image is really amazing. It's remarkable how they all look the same. the arranged our music so that it highlights the solo capabilities of each instrument; each part is representative of that musician's feelings on current political issues." It's surprising to find that some of the members of "The Damned" have been in the music game before. They've combined some experience with some fresh blood so to speak, providing potential for some interesting tunes. Vince Mulrooney plays "yakkety" sax; Happy Crombie tends to make more noise than is necessary for a drummer with only one snare; Harry Crosbie looks slightly out of place on bassoon - he says he wants to be seen with a serious instrument; "Clarky" Clark struggles to stay on the beat with his cute tambourine (his wife designed it); and John Gamble, although appearing on stage, refuses to play an instrument because he says it makes him look funny. At present, the group is having some problems. It's been difficult to refine the sound so that the "common element" - a goal sought by all bands - come~ "MIINJY PYIIIIi~ 111 DING II lJII" through on a comfortable level. Says Mulrooney, "sometimes it's a real pain. Writ• - • St~ 1i1MW OM ·.DIIIlli!i ·THIIY GUWtHJI[ IIJ.HHIIY BfS · MIDWliU One day Clark is into classical stuff, and the other he wants to do country and tillctii-THIIY JljfS -..u~s.--TIIIIY Gill\\h,.. ~JIIIIffiiDIWE Alhmll ~lm western. To tell the truth, if I hadn't spent so much on my saxophone, I'd I ...... IB I [J]I~~I lE) tNJ~Qfy~- probably quit." The consistency in sound has also been hampered by the is too possible move to a rock a' "Billy" approach. OPENING IN THEATRES ACROSS CANADA APRIL 1 Although "The Damned" have been practising since the fall, they don't have Admittance restricted to 18 yrs. and over a definite gig lined up until sometime in June. Happy expressed his concern in that area. "Doing something in Waterloo is still up in the air. It depends a lot on whether our buddy Walt can pull some strings for us. Walt still wants to get us in at the Centre In The Square, wherejle's met a roadblock. It's been about a year now- most people would've tried an alternative- but Walt says it's the principle of the thing."

The Damned have been practising since the fall, but they don't have a gig lined up until June.

So far the most positive feature of the new group is the image. It's remarkable how they all look the same. When asked if the "blinding blue" had required a great deal of discussion before deciding on which look to strive for, Crosbie Ia flicked his double reed at Clark and said, "no, we all just showed up like this. We always show up like this. Don't ask stupid questions." In order to keep the sound diverse, "The Damned" have asked flautist Franky Pocklington to record with them on their first album "This Is The Only water Way." His airy overtones can be heard on "Separation" and "High River Man th i 5 Came Tumbling Down." According to Gamble, Pocklinton is a great guy to , object jam with, but really, the band just can't afford to be seen with such an unkempt hunt fellow. i mt. It's clear that "The Damned" are heading for trouble if they don't settle their differences before their first live performance; both musically and in terms of stage presence~ - , ,, .iit!iihmmmte~ u::~- L t:1rlJ

15% OFF Stationery & Wr'iting Instruments Upon presentation of this coupon and WLU 10 Card

•ll Westmount Pl,ln' 68 Que('n StreetS Waterloo. Ont Kit< h('nt-r. Ont WI Son 885-4691 745-1431 Expires March 31, 1983 1\bt vald m sale oEm5 Ore couporo per peiSOO per ~ rdla9e PAGE6 WATERLOO CUTICLE, THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1983 Your Basic No- Pies, Lots- Of­ copy SPORTS Section! Late bulletin ... CORD writerS seized! THEY both break and give a full buy him a ball? (Child Abuse - kidnapping, Chuck Kirkham, Cord Special to the Cuticle Monday afternoon, this letter was delivered in person to the Cord: written apology in the pages of this March 10, 1983) Sports Editor, would only comment rag. Soccer players of the world Which four letters describe the that he hoped the players had a lot of The official police report states unite!!! greatest soccer player in the world? film. "Those guys really hate soccer that the kidnapping occurred Signed, (D U L L- February 17, 1983) and it will take a bit more than a few Dear Editor; sometime between two and three SPADORT What is the latest promotional videotapes to change their minds." WE have those two hair bags in o'clock Sunday morning. (Soccer players are deserving scheme of theN AS L? (Compliment­ custody. Never again will THEY be Early Sunday morning, two of respect too.) ary pillows with each pair of tickets­ Wilfrid Laurier students were able to wreak havoc on the soccer February 10, 1983) Handling the negotiations for kidnapped and are being held for world. WE have had enough of SPADORT is Mike Langer. What seems to have angered the ransom. The two students, Chuck THEIR piggish attitude towards the. What is it called when two Although Langer is not a soccer soccer players are the following Tatham and Mike Lock, also write a most popular sport in the World. soccer teams play for hours and player he is always willing to see questions about soccer players in the weekly sports quiz for the student THEY shall pay! As of this moment, hours to a boring 0-0 tie? (Typical - Tatham and Lock in as much Cord's Sports Quiz: newspaper, The Cord Weekly. It is THEY are watching repeats of every January 20, 1983) trouble as possible and was only too this weekly quiz that seems to have soccer match ever televised. This What is it called when you sign At this time things are looking glad to volunteer his services to the sparked the abduction. punishment shall · continue until up your son for a soccer league and rather bleak. When notified of the fledgling terrorist group. At The Kent ... Tamiae Off Ice Buffalo by Dick Belloes happened to end up. Hospital does offer group rates so In most people's cases, time dulls don't worry. Also presented that evening was Chips I know you weren't expecting to the memory. Fortunately for me I see me here this week, but then have a mind like a steel trap and still the Chuck Kirkham 'Nose' Best the Mudhawks to practise m again, either was I. If you want an remember the vivid details of that award. Mike Angus of Bus. 7 was the The Buffalo Chips investigative memorable evening over a week and lucky winner of this prestigious reporting team, Gauley and whenever they please. explanation, read on. If you don't We at Buffalo Chips feel that this give a damn, skip the next few a half ago; or was it two weeks? award and was commended for his Roberts, have learned of some secret Whenever it was, it was an efforts to keep the memory of information pertaining to the new is the beginning of a new tradition paragraphs. here at Laurier, and that I was sitting in my plush, private evening to r!!member --if that was at Jimmy Durante alive. athletic program proposed for Mudwrestling will mushroom into office at the Cord writing last week's all humanly possible. The real At this point in my article, I find it WLU. Our new Athletic Director the world's number one spectator article when the sports editor, problem was attendance, but as difficult to continue as many divulged some rather unique plans sport. Season tickets will go on sale Chuck Kirkham, burst in bitching you'll soon see it was no real questions have been left in our exclusive interview with him at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow at the A.C. about deadlines, lack of space and problem at all. Tamiae, in its never­ unanswered. The following is a list in the Men's washroom at the A.C. present wisdom and generosity, of things which persist in tormenting This is where the story was first office. Make sure you don't confuse other assorted rants and raves · the season ticket line with the common to those with a Penetang decided to give all those that showed me: I. Why are the lenses on Chuck's leaked. 1 regular mile-long lineup to book address. It was obvious in his fave their first beer free. At the start of camera still steamed up after a week Foremost among his plans was squash courts. ' that his sexual frustrations and lack the evening that amounted to about and a half! Was that really him the acquisition of the 1983-84 of friendship in the athletic complex 20 people. As the players continued C.I.A.U. Women's Mud Wrestling After a lengthy interview with the were getting the better of him. to pile in at a tremendous trickle, Are Gauley and Lund Championships. Since this is a new coaches regarding player personnel everyone's favorite inflatable doll, always that obnoxious? sport at the University level, our new and recruiting procedures, Roberts Was that really Chuck Brett Roberts, kept on handing out director hopes that Laurier will and Gauley went out to interview those free beer tickets. When become the permanent site for the some prospective Mudhawks. swinging in the rafters? attendance almost hit the 25 mark, it swinging in the rafters? Is it true that event. Somewhat intimidated but always in was evident to most that there was he is an aspiring aerial In anticipation of the opening of search of a new experience, we set Over the course of the next few only one thing left to do. photographer? Why has he locked spring training, 300-400 full figured off, bathing suits and beer bottles in minutes I managed to pump a few For those of you that are himself in the darkroom? Should females were outside the A.C. this hands. tranquilizers into the grovelling fool mathematically inclined, what we Chuck have been invited to the morning demanding to be outfitted Like any other team, these girls and calm him down somewhat. had here was an inverse relationship. awards night in the first place - no with uniforms. After careful are affectionately referred to by Before passing out in the fetal Fewer players show up - more free one else seems to think that he consideration it was decided that team members and fans by position (typical) I managed to get beer for the rest of us. The rest is should be invited anywhere. Should A wards Officer Horace Braden and nicknames. Imagine the 'Mudbeast' out of him that space was tight that history. I have been invited? An awards night Head Super Cop John Baal would slithering into action, accompanied week and my article went in then and Now back to the good stuff. The seems like no place for the Cord to be named coaches. Braden will be by the 'Tuna', 'Amazon Woman', there or not at all. next high point of the evening was be. the head coach, while Baal will 'Wildebeast' and the 'Incredible At that particular point I had said the first round of entertainment. It 2. Are Mike Gauley and Mike Lund coach the rest of the girls' bodies. Hose Monster'. Surely these women only half of what I wanted to. The certainly appeared as if everyone always that loud and obnoxious? Is When approached, Braden said will go down in the annals of Laurier half I had yet to say anything about enjoyed the crocheting demonstra­ sexual frustration all that rampant that the Mudwrestling Hawks will sport history. was the comings and goings of the tion. at this school, or are these two an be a big success from a financial Looking over the official C.I.A.U. Tamiae Awards night held at the This was followed by what exception? Is it true that people with standpoint. Baal added that he mudwrestling rule book, we noticed Kent Hotel on March 21st. everyone had been awaiting, the red hair are sub-human? would like to see some of the girls several differences between Instantly I ran to the closet, threw awards presentations. 3. Was Rod Foster really interested used as Turret security next year. university mudwrestling, and the off my orange and green fedora, and Dave Fennell won the scoring in crocheting lessons, or did he have John Karr, WLUSU Business traditional bar variety. Fifteen put on my thinking hat (cap). The championship with 24 points. In bigger and better things in mind? Manager, declined comment on this mudwrestlers per team will be solution came with lightening speed. recognition of this outstanding Who was Rod waiting for when matter, as he did not want to upset allowed on the playing surface. I called up my fat little buddy, Brett effort, he received a big kiss from everyone else was leaving? Is it true the team in case they decided to rip Scoring occurs when one team Roberts, getting him out of bed. one of the crocheting demonstra­ sho.rt men with moustaches have apart the Turret. collects five or more swimsuits and That wasn't really surprising; even tors. At last word, Dave was resting more fun? Maybe I should ask Brett President Weir, in a surprise drops them into a laundry basket in less was the fact that he was alone. I comfortably in K-W Hospital about that. one (if that is a announcement, stated that Laurier's the end zone. Piling on is the most asked him to renew my contract for recovering from tongue surgery. moustache). accumulated surplus will be spent on severely punished infraction and can one more week so that I might 4. Is Brett Roberts normally that a new domed stadium. This will be in result in suspensions and a possibl• finish my mission of informing the boring at social gatherings? Are the order to accomodate the large fine. The fine and length of the masses of the types of events that Fewer players show up­ insomniacs of the world aware of his number of fans expected. While the suspension will be decided by league make journalists such as myself' more free beer for the talents? Does he really cry himself to Mudwrestlers will be the major commissioner Rodney Dangerfield. internationally known. I remember sleep every night while clutching an occupants of the new building, the Dangerfield commented that a lot of once, Chuck telling me that even the rest of us. 8xl0 glossy of Matt Torigian? Do football, soccer, rugby and hockey the girls look to him as a father Mafia had a contract for me. Gee, I short, dumpy men really deserve teams may be allowed to use the figure; they all want money from didn't know they had their own Johnny 'Hiram' Walker won the dates too? Hawkdome at the end of the him. newspaper. Vezina with a 1.80 goals against 5. Am I cracking up? Is Wayne mudwrestling season. We at Buffalo Chips feel that Well, in any event, Brett agreed, average, and Tim Courtis was Gretzky possibly better than I Special features of the new dome mudwrestling will contribute greatly to our university's image in the on the condition that I mention his awarded with the league M.V.P. thought he was? Is it true that Dean 1 include: a new $1 million mud name at least twice and lend him my designation. All 3 players were Nichols moonlights on the weekend making machine, hot and cold community, as well as provide a bullworker. recipients of prizes donated by as Oopsy the Clown? Have I just running sewage, as well as a Jacuzzi great deal of revenue to the Reluctantly agreed to his Carling-O'Keefe. about outlived my usefulness? mud-pool. organizers. Come out and watch the conditions, taped what was finished Of no surprise to anyone was the On that final note, I think I'll There will also be a direct access these girls in action, they need all the of my article to Chuck's forehead, fact that Bus. 7 won the T.H.L. conclude another damn good year of tunnel to Clara Conrad Hall, where support they can get. (Especially propped him up in the corner, and championship. Once again one of Tamiae hockey. Thanks to everyone most of the Mudhawks will be those full-figured girls. Honest' left for home. I had to get ready to go the demonstrators showed off her who participated and helped out, housed. Visiting hours will not be Cross-our-hearts and hope to die in on my business trip with Harold true talents as she presented each especially Matt Torigian and Brett changed at Conrad, but Dean of the hands of a mudwrestler.) We Mallard. It was agreed that I could team member with their medals. Roberts. May they soon be reunited Students, Fred Nichols, has agreed already have our season tickets; Telex the article from wherever I Oh, and by the way guys, K-W in perpetual perversion. to allow 24 hour use of the dome for have you got yours today? WATERLOO CUTICLE, THURSDAY,. MARCH 31, 1983 PAGE 7 Sports Quiz Journalism Algonquin College's media department in Ottawa is introduc­ ing a new intensive one-year two-semester print journalism pro­ by Chuck Tatham and Mike Lock chokes in the playoffs? Things to do this summer if you gram. People with university credits are invited to apply. I. After Rick Wamsley's dismal 8. Being a good soccer player is had ... The program consists entirely of print journalism courses with performance in net for the about as difficult as: 10 right? if female, feel free to pop the exception of writing for videotex. The program runs from Canadiens the other night, he was so a) obtaining a 'D' in the Death and into Mike's or Chuck's house over September to June and includes 15 weeks of field work. depressed that he jumped in front of Dying course the summer - bring your swimsuit Only those passing an entrance test followed by a faculty in­ a subway train. Why wasn't he b) picking up a 13 year old wearing 7-9 right? if male, feel free to pop terview will be admitted. killed? Cougar boots in a shopping mall into Bruce Burrow's house over the Tuition fees are $260 a semester. c) requesting "Superfreak" at the summer - bring your bullwhip For further information write Bob Louks, journalism c'o-ordi­ 2. What baseball term describes Turret - and getting it played 4-6 right? if you live on a farm, bring nator, 1385 Woodroffe Ave., Nepean, Ont., K2G IV8 or phone Cord what happens if you grab a stripper's immediately some of your livestock over to (613) 72S-7428. chest at the Coronet? d) getting your tasteful Cord column Geoffrey Biddell's house - bring censored by editors Joseph Stalin your camera 3. What did the University of and Rev. Jerry Falwell 1-3 right? do you like wearing Waterloo javelin team do when they women's clothing? Feel free to pop won the coin toss? 9. Maple Leaf Paul Higgins has into Jim Gabel's - underwear supplied · DAVID THOmPSOI1 UniVERSITY CEnTRE • something in common with the 4. What is it called when a authors of this quiz. What is it? 0 right? drop into Sarnia and catch transvestite taps the ball to the Marty, Brad, and Ian doing their summER SCHOOL OP THE RATS pitcher? I 0. What does Gaylord Perry's bondage and discipline show at the famous pitch have in common with Big Boy Leather Bar - $2 cover 5. Why did it take so long for Tuffy Dino Ciccarelli? presents Knight to drive to Toronto? II . The Langer Question. Sports 6. What do Willie Shoemaker and authorities Chuck Tatham and Mike Answers (AleSS;:J:);:JU Chuck Tatham's old girlfriend have Lock have a phone number that any FOUR WEEKS OF WORKSHOPS IN JULY in common? well-developed females can phone if Jl 1:);:1110:) 11e:)) IZ£8-P88 'II \ they desire "sports counselling". 'SI!eq ;:~se;:~llJ Alllp 410q ;:Jl,A;:J41. ·o I 7. What's black and yellow and What is it? p;:~lo:)s ,(;:~41 ;:~w11 1ser D THEATRE D VISUAL ARTS -~41 l;lqW;:JW;:Jl Ue:) W;:J41 JO ;:JUOU '6 w;:~41 JO ,(ue ·g D DANCE D EDUCATION SUinl8 U01S08 ;:141 'L D WRITING D MASSAGE d14M ;:~41 ;:~sn 01 ;l:lfl( 410q ,(;:~41 ·9 .. HEY KIDS D JAZZ & WORLD MUSIC ssed 01 s;:~snp1 ;:~4 ·~ Get these Famous Name PRIZES 1unq :Je1p ·p or ;:JA!;:J:);:Jl 01 p;:~p;:~J;:~ ,(;:~41 '£ ;:~z;:~;:~nbs ;:~pl:)!m ·z: i/,000 s:l;:~J s14 u;:~;:~,v,1;:~q 1U;:JM 11 ·I For information: DTUC. 820 -10th St., Nelson, B.C. V1L3C7 (6041 352-2241

In EXTRA CASH PRIZE from

For Information Leading to the Arrest of FAMOUS ROCK STARS

c~s"'

250 POWER TELESCOPE I EARN BIG BUCK~';"I"""~'"·"(l) . ------­PRATI'S SECRET SPY CLUB BOX 69 Wilfrid Laurier University YES! I'm a snoopy little tattletale who's interested in getting BIG BUCKS and BIG PRIZES! Please send me. with no obligation. my personal PRA TI'S SECRET SPY KIT. including sample pouch. bat· tery-operated listening device. pock't chemical an­ alysi!l lab and portable vacuum cleaner! NAMIL __ _ _ ADDRESS ______

AGE~------· PREVIOUS DRUG ARRESTS 1-~------~--~----~-J PAGE 8 WATERLOO CUTICLE, THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1983 '

At the The following have been - TURRET elected to the Senate: Thursday March 31 Dave Edward Mike Rubino Dale Demarchi

Tickets available in WLUSU office and Elizabeth Snip WLU student $2.50 non-student $3.50 Total No. of Voters: 220 spoiled ballots: 3 ·------WLUSU proudly presents Congratulations to all of-those who participated. CLIFF ERICKSON Chief Electoral Officer

Wednesday April 6 Relax at

As a tribute to our members WLUSU picks up the TAB! (it's FREE) Wilf'S

Open Daily 12 - 2 pm. On Wednesday March_30 4- 6 pm. give the gift of life ... Tuesday- Saturday Nights 8- Midnight Give B.LOOD NDP SPEAKER WLUSU BLOOD DONOR CLINIC · Bob Rae

March 30 , Ontario Leader of NDP 10:00 am - 4:00 pm

in the Pau I Martin Centre at the Paul Martin Centre Your participation is vital and GREATLY appreciated. April 6 2:00pm Coaches to leave en masse to T.O.? by Chuck Kirkham Laurier's athletic program could be losing two coaches next year to the University ofToronto. Three of Laurier's coaches have applied for two openings at Toronto. One of the coaches that could be leaving is Athletic Director "Tuffy" Knight. "I can make no comment, either way, at this time." Knight replied when asked if he has or has not applied for the job at Toronto. Gib Chapman, Toronto's Director of Athletics, would only comment that "Whatever speculation you have made is probably correct," when asked which Laurier coaches have applied for the positions in Toronto. Coaches that have confirmed they applied for jobs in Toronto are: Associate Athletic Director, Rich Newbrough. and hockey coach, Wayne Gowing. Gowing has been the hockey coach at Laurier for ten years, twtce betng named coach of the year in Ontario, and this past year coached the Hawks to a provmctal champiOnship and a berth in the national tournament. Knight, who has been Laurier's Athletic Director for 17 years and head football coach for sixteen is one of the most successful football coaches in Canadian University history. This year past he became only the third coach to win 100 games in Canadian football at the university level. In his career at Laurier he has won 5 Western Ontario titles and participated in 7 post seaSon bowl games. Newbrough, who has been at Laurier for 15 years, has also applied for the job of head football coach at Toronto. Over 75 men applied for Board members Gord Annear and Scott MacKenzie with OMB directors Dave Edwards and the position and it is known at this time that Newbr~)Ugh has made it Kevin Dryden analyse arguments for and against making the Cord editor a full-time paid through the screening process to the second round and is one of five position. The motion passed unanimdusly marking a day in history for Student Publications. men left in the running for the job. It is believed, but unconfirmed, that Tuffy is also one of these men. Also unconfirmed is that a present CFL Photo by Kanm Virani coach is in the running. . Newbrough stated that he was fairly happy here at Laurier but the Toronto job was a better one than what he presently h61ds. "I have more leeway here than most head coaches have elsewhere. I have turned down other jobs because of this." Newbrough also added that WL USU approves paid Editorship he thought Laurier's program (football) was second in the province only to Western. by ·Steve Pallen costs by eliminating the positions of desirable to select a student as Wayne Gowing is recognized as one of the best recruiters of hockey talent in Ontario universities. His reason for leaving is unclear. He This past Sunday evening the Directory, Calendar and Handbook Editor and demand that person said "I, and other coaches, are always looking for other opportunities. WLUSU Board of Directors Editors, who previously received transfer to part-time studies. To Moving to Toronto is such an opportunity. I did not apply because approved financing for the Board of honorariums. The Student compensate for this alteration to the Toronto necessarily has a better hockey program. We had a better Student Publications proposal to Publications Board and WLUSU Editor's academic career, the program here at Laurier than they did at Toronto last year." Gowing make the Cord Editor a salaried Director of Finance, Deb Moffet, honoraria could be increased and added, "There is no problem with coaching at Laurier. I am not upset position. predict the combined effects of these additional summer courses could be with this surrounding. It is just excellent and will get better." Beginning next year, the Editor improvements will offset the Ed­ paid by WLUSU. This is the second time in three years he has applied for the job in shall be employed from August 1st itor's salary by $4000. Toronto. to April 30th at a salary of slightly In his presentation to the WLUSU In discussion following the The decision on the position will C

~ ) have gone stale, By voluntarily recognizing that the NDP can hope, at best, Th~ NDP hopes to only to a hold on their current kvel of support unless changes nd as goes a party's but their victories in . are made within the NDP, and by resigning within the next future will continue to I leadership ... " year or two (perhaps after the next federal election), ,/ I Broadbent could go out gracefully and break the CCF/NDP bad habit of keeping their leaders until they croak. Broadbent ~r~·a, appears to have gone stale, and as goes a party's leadership ... Quebec - The NDP could blame Although it is difficult to accurately assess the number of "Labour made the choice of partie\ to \upport, electorate along union members who have been won over to the NDP by this inability to build support it did not create a party. The di~tinction i~ an strategy (one study suggests that in the neighbourhood of25% admit that although they important one." of unionized workers support the NDP), it can be safely stated stands, socialism must nt~'••u••'- that the returns which the party is realizing on this investment for independence. are not nearly as great as had been hoped for. The NDP has never A n:cent article in Macleans' magazine, entitled "The Union members continue to vote for the Liberals and the dogged attempts to run NDP jumps off to a head start," detailed Broadbent's latest Conservatives in far greater numbers than they do for the province. Pockets of >ulluu.•'"'"' strategy of pointing out the P.C. leadership problems as NDP. The major union strongholds of Ontario-Windsor, particularly in urban evidence that the P,C.s are not capable of effectively acting as Hamilton and Kitchener - all regularly vote Liberal. popular vote has even CIIJI•uuu•t: the Official Opposition, let alone governing the country. And what of the political cost of such close association with within the province. Broadbent's cross country speaking toij_r was intended to the major unions, organizations which are widely Broadbent's command solidify weakening party support in some areas, and to misunderstood and generally disliked by the Canadian public? "functionally feebk" at encourage uncommitted voters to take a second look at the In 1979, the Toronto Star broke with a long tradition of was once a high school N.D.P. supporting the federal Liberal party with its endorsement of altered Ed's painfully evidltiiiiP<>telnce Broadbent may indeed be off to a head start in terms of the NDP as being "The Choice for Canadians" (The Star's other official language. campaigning for the next federal election. The course which support for the NDP js particularly significant in that it the N.D.P. is charting begs the question: Are they 'headed' in marked the first time that a Canadian newspaper has ever The NDP must elect a the wrong direction? backed the NDP over the other two parties at election time.) in French if they expect What possible gains can be expected from a strategy based The Star's enthusiasm for the NDP was, however, couched province of Quebec. upon faulty logic? ' "At best, it (the N.D.P.) might face in criticism of the party's relationship with the unions. "A seriomly claim to be a Conservative and Liberal parties split by divisive leadership major flaw in the NDP program is its blanket endorsement of struggles in the next election" unions. There are occassions when powerful unions, This assertion is a dubious proposition. The Tories ability exerc1smg what amounts to monopoly power, must be to self-destruct has been well documented. Building a political restrained the same as management. Until the party strategy which assumes that the governing Liberals will do recognizes this, it will not attract the broad support it likewise is utter foolishness. deserves." This is not the first time that the N.D.P. has devoted its It is indeed strange that a social democratic/socialist party energies first and foremost to attacking the Tories when they is unreservedly supportive of the often less than selfless should have been hunting Grits. Columnist and former actions of big labour, itself a capitalistic organization. A tie N.D.P. M.P. Douglas Fisher devoted a column last month to between a democratic socialist party and the labour an appraisal of the current N.D.P. tactics and found movement of the country would seem to follow logically. The Broadbent's approach to be misguided. He pointed to the question is, what form should that tie take, and what degree of 1974 election campaign: "Broadbent reminds me of the late influence or control should the labour movement have upon David Lewis ... Lewis spent the first six weeks of the ( 1974) the party? campaign carving up then Conservative leader Robert As one long time C.C.F./N.D.P. supporter angrily pointed Stanfield ... while the Liberal backroom boys ... chortled home out in a recent letter to the K-W Record, labour is frequently as .. Future NDP again to power." self-centred and shortsighted as any of the organizations Those who refuse to learn from history may be doomed to which the NDP regularly condemns. "All raises should be not look repeat it. Sitting New Democrat members must be very spread out across the board, not percentage raises that spread peaked in the We!;t• nca nervous. As a senior party strategist stated to a Macleans' the incomes of big and -small labour further apart. The poor slide next election" .reporter, "Only two weeks ago we were terrified that we could have been getting six and five for years. Why not big labour? It not save half the caucus in a federal election" is refusing to carry its fair share of the present economic load How can this situation be improved by sending Ed and you (Broadbent) are backing it." Broadbent across the country to tell the nation what it Middle class voters who are in sympathy with much of the Ontario already knows about Conservative misfortunes? NDP platform are reluctant to support the NDP because of Even in the (unlikely) event that the Liberals are unable to influence which they feel that the ominous union bogeyman The NDP's inability win the next election with a new leader, the N.D.P.'s best has upon the New Democrats. It is from this large body of pin of Canada" has hopes of picking up seats must surely lie in focussing on the middle class Canadians that the NDP must necessarily gain every NDP leader. current government's record, and emphasizing N.D.P. policy support if they aspire to become a major national force. caucus has been alternatives. In addition to being electoral poison in many minds, the What exactly is th.e major thrust of the policy alterrratives unions may also constitute a major constraint upon New. being proposed by Broadbent's NDP? Democrat policymaking, particularly in the area of economic More government regulation and intervention in order to nationalism. create jobs and revive Canada's moribund economy. The The distrust, displeasure and discomfort with which union Canadian public is singularly unimpressed, having suffered leaders viewed the Waffle movement within the NDP in the through fourteen years of mismanaged government early seventies was a major reason for the Lewises' (Federal intervention under Pierre Elliot Trudeau's tenure as Prime leader David and Ontario provincial leader Stephen) bitter Minister. and ultimately successful struggle to expel the Waffle from the What would the NDP do differently in terms of making NDP. government more responsible and efficient? Probably very The Waffle doctrine of strong economic nationalism little, which is among the reasons that the NDP is unable to (viewing the branch plant economy as being at the root of the build support during a Liberal collapse. Before voters will be nation's ills - a view long since accepted and espoused by convinced of the need for more government regulation, they federal as well as provincial NDP politicians) was probably want to see the money that is now being spent used too much for union leaders (international- translated as U.S. profitably. Reform of the civil service and the multitude of controlled) who owed their positions and their livelihoods to Crown corporations is hardly a task to be accomplished the benevolence of U.S. based multinationals -to stomach. The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 31, 1983 II oadbent should step down

unabashedly Any fruits of Bob Rae's efforts to rebuild the Ontario New "The selection of a leader is a critical choice of image, is a tendency Democrats are unlikely to pay off at the federal level during tactical judgement and probably, political direction"­ the subject of Broadbent's tenure. Desmond Morton. itely a touchy Most successful Ontario NDP members have been elected Broadbent's leadership has been described as steady if tht: NDP cannot on the basis of their own personal popularity--not the uninspired. One writer suggested that the reason that there pitch of the leader of the party. A good local example is the have not been any major challenges to Broadbent's leadership riding of Waterloo North, which elected Max Saltsman with a is that there is no one who could replace him. This is an comfortable plurality over subsequent elections. After interesting, if totally naive assumption. Firstly, The N.D.P., Saltman's retirement, the NDP was unable to retain the riding like its forerunner the C.C.F., has always kept its leaders on one. Labour and the NDP share of the popular vote has remained at about past their usefulness, putting them out to pasture only after a create a party. 18%. compared to Saltsman's, 41% wins. crushing electoral blowout. The N.D.P. has always played itself to this Of the present six Ontario MPs, at least three would have their cards too close to the chest in this respect, running been considered quite vulnerable going into the next election. candidates for as long as they can stand up instead of taking Assuming that Spadina MP Dan Heap is capable of holding chances on new and untried individuals. off the Napoleonic ambitions of Jim Coutts, Lynn Attracting candidates to run for the N.D.P. is often difficult MacDonald in Broadyiew-Greenwood, Derek Blackburn in in many areas, but the riding executives and the national Brant (first elected in 1972, his political credibility and his hierarchy must not lose sight of the need to take needed risks pluralities have been slipping), ahd freshman BeachesMP Neil to be pragmatic enough to inject new blood into the electoral' Young (he won a squeaker in 1980 and has not done a arena. Some risks are worth taking, unless the N.D.P. wants from Atlantic spectacular job since) will all face tough battles in the next to run the risk of becoming irrelevant. when Andy federal campaign. L;J;..hmond riding in ------NDP support in Northern Ontario has been particularly brighter when susceptible to collapse during Liberal sweeps. The 1980 tic caucus by election saw the defeat of veteran MPs Cyril Symes in Sault St. by-election in the Marie, Arnold Peters in Timiskaming, and John Rodriguez in St. Barbe. the Nickel Riding. This problem is compounded by the in nature. Both inability of NDP riding executives to realize when a candidate 1980 election. is no longer politically valuable, and their insistence on margins.) the next election, running the same person as long as there is breath in the body. the foreseeable Timiskaming was regarded as a winnable seai for the NDP in a recent by-election. It might well have been, had the riding association not insisted on dragging out Arnold Peters one :;:) last time. Rodriguez will likely run in the Nickel Belt for the .. NDP in the next general election. When will they ever learn? J

of the Quebec "some risks are worth taking, unle'is the ND P hnes tor their So who might replace Broadbent and take on the task of l...lrovince. Pequistes \\Stanley Knowles. Knowles is a veteran Western Canada are all sound reasons for the N.D.P. to C.C.F.er who knows more about the workings of consider a Western leader in order to minimize its parliamentary procedure than most speakers of the House. vulnerability). As Knowles' long distinguished career draws to a close, he Allan Blakeney is an articulate, intelligent and well leaves behind a legacy of fighting for social ju~tice. Who will respected politician who enjoys a good public profile across replace such a man? Canada. Blakeney would make an excellent national leader, but he may wish to remain in provincial politics and rebuild the battered The Saskatchewan NDP, still smarting from a massive Saskatchewan New Democratic organization. provincial defeat, can best be described as being in a sorry A more likely possibility would be Saskatchewan MP Lome state. The cleetoral fortunes of Rev. Bob Ogle in the next Nystrom, who has already run unsuccessfully once for the campaign should provide a good indication of just how bad leadership (as had Broadbent, prior to his 1975 win). Nystrom the damage really was. Ogle's riding is part of a marginal seat was the N.D.P. constitutional critic until he broke with the formerly held by Otto Lang, an ex-Trudeau cabinet minister. party line on Trudeau's constitutional package. Nystrom did The Liberals might key on the Saskatoon East riding in an not support that package because he felt it did not go far attempt to rebuild a Saskatchewan base under a new leader. enough in terms of protecting Western interests. Ian Waddell, Alberta, a province which has always preferred one party the party's Job Creation spokesperson, is another possibility. dominance over electoral diversity, has been barren ground Ed Schreyer, the multilingual former N.D.P. premier of Canada do for the NDP. For some reason, the blue eyed sheiks and oil Manitoba is a longshot possibility who the federal executive party has barons of Alberta are not crazy about PetroCan or the NDP's would do well to persuade - once his term as Governor­ proposed tax structure for the petroleum industry. Provincial General expires. No Governor-General has ever re-entered point to a politics following his term of office, but Schreyer's tenun: at N~~ Democrats were somewhat bitter about Broadbent .speeches advocating higher corporate taxation made during Rideau Hall has shown that he is not shy about breaking with last fall's Alberta election, speeches which were felt to have precedent. cost the Alberta NDP many votes. How well could a Western leader enhance the N.D.P. profile in Ontario? Certainly no worse than the lacklustre job British Columbia returned twelve New Democrats in the Broadbent has done. There are also promising potential 1980 election, more than any other province in Canada. The leaders within the province of Ontario. Stephen Lewis, the provincial New Democrats are keenly awaiting the former Ontario N.D.P. leader who served as leader of the opportunity to topple Miniwac Bill Bennett's Social Credrt Opposition in Ontario between 1975 and 1977, has the government, a chance which might come this spring. On the charisma and the experience which the party needs. He may augmented, by surface, it appears that BC NDP support is relatively healthy need some convincing to run for the post, however. On his berofseatsin and stable. retirement from Ontario politics in 1978, Lewis vowed to stay What is not known, however, is the extent to which BC has pointed out of politics until his children had grown up. That was five for electoral voters have cast their ballots more anti-Trudeau than in years ago. Can he be lured away from his cozy life of broadcast wherever possible. support of the policies or leadership of the New Democratic journalism back into the hectic life of a party politician? Party. The NDP has been consistently unable to capture one explain why two Probably. of the most competitive seats in British Columbia, Vancouver for the New Ian Deans, the Acting House Leader who broke into Centre, a riding which has alternately returned a Liberal and a amalgamated in previously barren territory for the N.D.P. with his Hamilton Conservative member in the past two federal election, with the of Broadview- Mountain election win, cannot be overlooked as a future NDP candidate running a painfully close third, but third none members in 1972, contender. Deans is a seasoned former M.P.P. who ran to in 1980. the less. succeed Stephen Lewis as Ontario N.D.P. leader in 1978 and Should the Liberals elect an Anglophone leader who is NDP support in lost (The Ontario N.D.P. opted instead at that time for the · is personally willing to make concessions to the West, the NDP is listless leadership of Michael Morris Cassidy, with disastrous been the leader of vulnerable in a number of BC ridings: Burnaby-Seymour, Kootenay-East Revelstoke, and Kamloops-Caribou being the consequences.) campaigns that he most likely targeted examples. is a superficial Complacency may be the watchword of the 80's, but the In 1974, the NDP caucus shrunk from eleven to two quite inefficacious N.D.P. can't afford to be. Say good night, Ed. vott: for the NDP. members. Of these nine lost seats, six went to the Liberals ... 12 The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 31, 1983 Qualify for LETTERS

It is sad that our university, including Buffalo Chip(s) journalism. Reading the the university supposedly an institution of higher newspapers, we may find it difficult and to add life education progressive thinking, find a journalist that still upholds cannot provide a decent system of the Creed, but is it the fault of of your choice Letter to the Editor: medical care for its students. I am journalists? Realists and cynics avail We would like to compliment The certain that Terry Edwards and I are the media; to them, sensationalism Cord on a good not the only and finally issuing victims of "Health sex crime are what attract article. We are referring to March Disservice".' If we were all to readers. The fact that journalism has Columbia Secondary independent, non- 17's Buffalo Chips column. It's complain maybe improvements degenerated to such a low level is not would be made. enjoys an interna- sectarian, coeduca- about time this "responsible, adult" entirely the fault of journalists. The tional accreditation tional institution university paper got some life into it. In fairness to the staff in Health readers are to blame too. A satirical, I for its disciplined ap- offering grade 11, 12, risky, mock column is Services, understand that your Good journalism involves much just what it needs. We sometimes days are often hectic and there are more than good journalists. proach to Good education. 13 studies and language think from reading some of the alot of cranks around but wouldn't readers are also needed: thoughtful, such, more than As programs in an letters sent that if a typical Laurier you rather be safe than sorry? It perceptive and civic-minded! student read a be think Newspaper 90% of Columbia larger university's might something to about! owners want to make a international environ- profit graduates have been paper, much less an engineers/un- Sincerely, and they can only do so if ment. Applications they would Luyt accepted into the derground newspaper, Lisa people buy their papers. In a free from area and over- have a major heart attack. As stated enterprise society university of like Canada, ■,<** seas students are in the column, we are also tired of Journalistic truth entrepreneurs, like newspaper their choice. „ now b e jn g reading about women's rights, gays, editors, have to provide the service § child abuse and other overused demanded by the Columbia is an | entertained. Dear Editor. consumers, who, topics one can read every day in the in this case are the readers. There has been an article about If readers major newspapers. Incidentally, I feel that they are XXX the press in each of the last three reading trash it is keep saying "we" because I am because the editors issues of Cord. To keep the issue feel that that is writing for a friend who read the what they want, and they alive one more week, 1 would like to will only Columbia Secondary School of Canada Cord too many times and turned confirm the offer an opinion. editor's notion if they 430 East 25th Street, Hamilton, Ontario Canada L8V 3B4 (416) 387-3381 into a gay, husband beater who remain silent. In writing about the press one hates women and blacks and is The way to naturally has to be aware of the bring about good ashamed of it! Too bad you're journalism is through owners but ultimately it is the a healthy retiring. relationship between the journalist that makes a newspaper. readers and A concerned friend, the journalists. Let us then ask what do journalists We, as readers must Mark Tunks be responsive to we believe in. This is a question which what read. (Somehow, this letter snuck on to the Letters from readers to surfaces from time to time, newspaper serious pages. It must have editors are one the been particularly when something seems of best ways ob meant the joke section - Ed.) bringing about this for to be wrong in the profession of "the healthy relationship between fourth estate", as a late king of the press and the public. France was said to term journalism. HERO Lee Onn Hean Joseph THE Healthy Services? Do journalists still cherish what Dear Editor: Joseph Pulitzer believed about This past week 1 felt compelled to journalism? He believed in the worth Philosophy vs sit down and write this letter after of the daily press and in the reading the letter in last week's Cord beneficial power of the written and reality by Terry Edwards. I must say that I published word. At one time his a meet a friend, have I WATERLOOW^ATake fnend ... am in full agreement. belief encouraged some journalists J Dear Mr. Connolly, some laughs .. enjoy the show ... try V J I have, however, one question for and writers to strive after something I found your editorial, entitled some dans. Indulge in the good the nurses in Health Services. Since better every time they took up a pen. 'Where can one when does a nursing certificate Today, I can understand people find a conserva- tive?', to be most in qualify someone as a doctor? blaming newspapers for spreading enlightened its analysis of not only the In mid-January, after suffering misinformation for they cannot even OPCCA, but the Progressive three days with an extremely sore trust the integrity of Pulitzer prize Conservative Party as a whole. Your about throat and generally feeling winners: points political parties to miserable, I ventured into Health During the time when journalists moving the left over the past few decades, and the Services to find out why I felt so still cherish the beliefs of Pulitzer, need for the conservatives to a terrible. "The Journalist's Creed" was find Rick McGhie cohesive (not to mention, non- The nurse looked at my throat, published. Some sections of the Liberal) philosophy, were both well told me she saw blisters, neglected to Creed are as follows: taken. take a throat swab and diagnosed "I believe in the profession of The one point on which I had my ailment as a common cold. She Journalism, I believe that the public some disagreement however was on offered no form ofrelief whatsoever. journal is a public trust; that all the relationship of philosophy to When the symptoms continued for connected with it are, to the full and the another day without easing I measure of their responsibility, reality, disagreement At the Waterloo House centred mainly on emphasis. In decided to travel home (Chatham) trustees for the public; that and Erb streets. referring to tendency the comer of King for the weekend and see my family acceptance of a lesser service is the of Waterloo OPCCA to be philosophical, downtown doctor. betrayal of this trust. more you - applied to reality, He instantly informed me that I That a journalist should write state "When the differences are stark and wide.". was the victim of a severe throat and what he holds in his heart to be true. the ear infection and asked why I was That suppression of the news, for Philosophy is foundation for reality, whether political, economic, even out and about in my condition. any consideration other than the or and the is 1 told him the above account of my welfare of society, is indefensible. social, while influence not always direct, it is, nontheless, Graduate I visit to Health Services and he was That the Journalism which The problem with the appalled to say the least. He succeeds best fears God and honors vital. prescribed an antibiotic and I was man." conservatives in Canada, most Studies there will be people who notably over the last decade, is their I well on my way to full recovery by Although Monday morning. If I had been may find the Creed an idealistic failure to recognize this. that In Economics I allowed to see the doctor I'm sure he statement, we must remember it Wr would have reached the same is ideals that shape our efforts in this George Plumley The Department of Economics offers conclusion and saved me a trip world and set the moral and ethical Editor The Looking Glass programs leading to an M.A. degree in home. But I wasn't. standards for professional activities, Economics with both a thesis and non-thesis option. The program contains a strong core in economic theory and quantitative methods along with a variety of applied optional areas. Financial Aid: The Department has available a number of graduate assistantships and bursaries for qualified students which range from If You are Pregnant Applications presently being accepted for $5,500 to $ 11,750.* Applications and detailed information may be obtained from: and in need of afriend, The M.A. Coordinator Typesetters Department of Economics Help is as near I Lakehead University as your telephone. with Student Publications for the 1983/84 academic Thunder Bay a year. Pay $4.00 per hour. Must be able type Ontario P7B 5E1 Call of 50 wpm. Leave applications in care ofBev These figures refer to full-time students. Part-time students are eligible for minimum financial assistance as well. BIRTHRIGHT Biglow at the Cord office. 579-3990 - --* - r

»•- '

—======Lectures look at man's nature Pascal 19th of sin. Certainly he was less sophisticated, origin. We are all created equally in Joyce by Vivienne Both humanists and Christians but what has that to do with the image of God. see the duality in human nature. nobility? The caveman was creative Looking to the future, the USED BOOK In 1977, U of W founded the There is so much that is despicable. enough to draw pictures of his daily humanistic view maintains that man Pascal Lecture Series on We are capable of love and self- life on the walls of his cave. We must will gradually become better and SALE Christianity at the University. This sacrifice as well as hatred and war. be careful not to mix up better and reach a state of year's lecturer was Dr. John White, The two groups disagree about sophistication with creativity or perfection, provided that he doesn't formerly of the University of where this duality comes from. nobility. After all, it was not our blow himself off the face ofthe earth Manitoba. The series was entitled The humanist goes to evolution to generation that invented the wheel. first. Friday, April 8 "Reflections on Being Human". explain evil. It is either the result of a The Christian view is that man The Christian view is quite Noon - 9 pm Tuesday's lecture, "A Shattered bad connection between two parts of was created in the image of God but different. The shattered mirror is not with auction 6 - 6:30 pm Mirror" focussed on two prevalent the brain caused by its explosive fell because he chose to do evil. This irreparable. God provided a way to views of Man. Scientific humanism growth at one time in history, or it is resulted in a shattered image, one restore the image through faith in Saturday, April 9 sees Man, the product of evolution, something we are evolving out of as which still reflects some of the His son, Jesus Christ. The Christian 9 am - 2 pm still advancing towards some future we become more noble and creative. attributes of its origin; but reflects sees a future in which he will stand with Children's sale state of perfection. The Judeo- Dr. White questioned this view. Is them in a distorted way. The nobility before the face of God with no fear, at 9 am Christian view is that Man was made there evidence that man was at one of every man comes not from his because of the life, death and in the image of God but fell because time less noble than he is now? achievements but rather from his resurrection of Jesus Christ. First United Church Waterloo Facts needed on arms race Coffee warps GPA marks Sponsored American control, "there is a by K-W by Tony Goerzen Canadian Federation presently involved in convincing reason for Russia to (RNR/CUP)—If you're the shy, performed 14 per Canada is cent better after of University Women nuclear renovations with both the continue." In fact, the Soviets have quiet type, it might help you to drink drinking coffee. extension of U.S. nuclear systems in already indicated that they will a cup of coffee before taking a test. But for the outgoing types, the the north and the testing of several match -any air launched inter- University of Minnesota reverse is true. Extroverts' Proceeds for Scholarships U.S. weapons—one of which is the continental missile. researchers found introverted performance on the test slipped 25 and Community Service cruise missile-and it is being done Furthermore, cruise should not be volunteers who took a memory test per cent after a jolt of caffeine. mostly behind closed doors. George tested because development of Ignatieff, Canada's former innovative nuclear weapons is ambassador to the United Nations, "contrary to the very essence of says that this is "being done without strategic arms control and the whole debate...we must insist on answers concept of detente." from the government." IgnatiefTs main concern is the In a lecture sponsored by the "whole atmosphere of terrible fear" newly formed faculty association kindled by the Reagan Administra- Science for Peace at the University tion as they promote the Zero of Waterloo, Ignatieff said "a Option. The Zero Option, which has process of reason should be applied become "a religious dogma to be to question the need of cruise" proclaimed in Washington" is no lea(Jv given that "without cruise there is longer operable because of its lack of wWWIBW already enough nuclear might for balance. The Zero Option calls for HBBS any rational political considera- the removal of much of the Soviet tion." nuclear defence system in return for At the present moment there is a the cancellation of plans of cruise (■•to state of accelerated arms production deployment (all western missiles work? and in Ignatieff's estimation, would remain intact). Canadian complicity in the testing Ignatieff is a former diplomat who of cruise is to agree to continued also -once served as Canada's escalation. It is important to note representative to the North Atlantic that although an agreement by Treaty Organization (NATO) and is ,PI Canada is needed for testing, the now chancellor of the University of CAN" FKT military can keep this agreement Toronto. secret. He was born in 1913 in St. As President Reagan with Petersburg (now Leningrad) but fled evangelical simplicity denounces the after the Revolution eventually to If you're between the ages of 15 and 24 and you want to work this summer, Ontario can help Soviet Union as the source ofall evil, settle in Canada. His father was the businesses and farmers hire you — by helping to pay your wages. a program of military expenditure is Russian education minister under Through the Ontario Youth Employment Program — OYEP — Ontario will pay $1.25an hour, proposed in the U.S. to attain the last of the czars, Nicholas 11. to a maximum of $50 a week, towards the salary of every eligible young person hired. equality and possibly superiority. Although Ignatieff professes little WHAT CAN YOU DO? Read this ad and make sure you are eligible. Then, cut it out and take The controversy "has been clouded "love or sympathy for the Soviet it with you when you apply for summer jobs. Employers may be interested in learning more by technical and ideological system," he " feels that recent about OYEP. jargon." Yet, "the idea that you get American initiatives in arms buildup security through superiority is have been especially detrimental to Vfan OTP ol jlfllllAfftl* OVVDif* OYEP is a popular program. Funds are limited, contrary to the experience of 30 world stability. There should be "a XUU

. Mike Strathdec/Kditor j. , eligible oyep ( rnone lNlimber Ulaim' onnoll>/News Kdilor Enmlovers+. J are W Ministry of Municipal Affairs and Housing 00/ l OQi IAAI Carl Clutchc\/Kntcrtainmcnt Kditor °84-ZyyU,oo4-2991 ( h buck Kirkham/Sports Kdilor under OYEP if: gSSftSr lcaturl's-( I P Kdilor Ralph l)'Ak'ssandro/Cop> Kditor Toronto, Ontario • They have actively operated a business Jackie kaiser/Production Manager M7A 2RB or farm in Ontario for at least one year V Michaela Keicht/Production Assistant prior to April 11, 1983. TOLL-FREE: 1-800-268-7592 Vanc\ Stohhe/Produclion Assistant Toronto: 965-0570 • They can provide 25 to 40 hours of | n 1 0 code). U ■ Karim \ irani/Photo Technician supervised work a week for between 8 and ]icPocfTicTn '

—

AH submissions to the Cord should be typed and handed in to the Cord office prior to Monday noon.Letttrs Last year OYEP helped Ontario farmers and must bear the author's full name and telephone number. The Cord reserves the right to businesses hire more than 50,000 young refuse any submission which it considers to be racist, sexist, or libellous in nature. All letters are subject to editing for length, although the cogency of the argument will be preserved.

The Cord Weekly is published 22 limes a year by Student Publications of WilfridLaurier University. Editorialopinions are independent of the University. WLUSU. and Student Publications TheCordis a member of the Canadian University Press cooperative Subscriptions are available SI2 per year post paid. r I Term Reports? VjHH Obtain a 10"<> reduction on the J cost of typing up your report if j fiSBSB\ you present this ad with your I order. This offer expires March 24. 1983. 156 Columbia Street West Waterloo. Ontario N2L 3L3 J * I Phone (519) 885-5870 In. Won] ,( - Pnau l . 11l I (C olumbiai at Phillip)11 v I *Excellent Photocopying and Overheads. *Resumes, Covering letters, Mailing lists The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 31, 1983

S

V+4 v >• y

/ 1 111: ■»- ? - ? BK» MliMt - / ■■k -

'• -•- =• - r ■•■••• •. •\ **?••:. .: .•... h§ iip '• 3 i - liii' ••• mmm .. .-. •..• .'...•'•.mii.. •'. •. '.i", ' .; ••• .-• . Wsm&WMii&lSi ■sg ..

V; "••••• : • • :••

wx-x-xw^vxtt-xwx^tvxvxvxwswx&'x-xsvxwx*:^ X^>.w.v>/////A ,JA'X, XWvX,>X>X*Xw/., X,X , XvXW:vX<\WX%\swAVAVAVA%VAV.v.v.v.wXv^,

'

' - : ; ■'■■ -:' -« • vi-:- •: • ■tvUf'%',"?* ;■■ &/? < >>■ 'Sl-i WmM v^l®•-I 4 ,•■•.M? 5 ; : -.. ; .'...... ■. : : : ■ ■ ■■ ■ ■ :: :: x x: x:::::: x:::x :::::x :x-x-^ WARNING: Health and Welfare Canada advises that danger to health increases with amount smoked: avoid inhaling. Average per cigarette: Export "A" Regular "tar" 17 mg. nicotine 1.1 mg. King Size "tar" 17 mg. nicotine 1.1. Export "A" Mild Regular "tar" 12 mg. nicotine 0.9 mg. King Size "tar" 13 mg. nicotine 0.9 mg. Export "A" Light Regular "tar" 10 mg. nicotine 0.8 mg. King Size "tar" 11 mg. nicotine 0.8 mg. The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 31, 1983 15 Anorexia Nervosa: a deadly disorder

by Laurie Brett Through a discussion with the person, loss of appetite and of communication, love, or University of Ottawa - Fulcrum weight is casually mentioned as a secondary problem. But the separation from family." Admit it. At one time or another in your life you have fact is, it is more important that the primary problem." Under socio-cultural factors, Dr. willingly yielded to temptation. Dr. Lee attributes the failure of many people to recognize extra that Lee cites society's emphasis on Perhaps you had an piece of pie you could work chronic loss of appetite as a serious matter to the lack of thinness as the most obvious cause off at the gym afterwards. But maybe you had two pizzas and awareness. This is particularly true in the case of people who of anorexia nervosa. He says, "In three big bags of potato chips, topped off with a two-litre suffer from bulimia, a form of anorexia nervosa that involved today's society, everyone gets this carton of ice-cream. Junk food! All to yourself, and devoured impulsive binging followed by self-induced vomiting. "The message." The frequency of in one hour. problem," he notes, "is that they don't necessarily associate anorexia nervosa, however, is ten Over the past few years this eating disorder, commonly vomiting with anorexia nervosa. It's a problem of awareness." times greater among females, most know as binge-eating, has become a popular field of study. The question most ask is: would an people Why apparently notable among models, than among This article, however, is not about binge-eating. It is, in fact, normal and intelligent person - usually a woman - fast to the males. Some psychologists suggest about the very opposite human affliction, anorexia. point of emaciation or even death? Dr. Lee cites a number of that this urging is due to society's - In its least serious form, anorexia loss of appetite - is an reasons. He divides them into three categories: individuals, wish for women to be petite. eating disorder most people jokingly deny suffering from. familial and socio-cultural factors. They confess: "I've got an appetite like a horse. I'm always Dr. Lee divides the individual factors into five subsections. hungry." Yet, at times, these same people may, for various He suggests that in some cases it is a question of personal reasons, suffer from a loss of appetite that makes food seem effectiveness. The anorectic may feel that by practicing self- repulsive. deprivation, she is maintaining efficient control of her life. "thin For some, this momentary revulsion to food becomes a Similarly, in the case of adolescents, it is often a question of chronic obsession with weight loss commonly known as gaining autonomy and independence. Consequently, control anorexia nervosa. of one's life becomes synonymous with control of one's body. is In many cases, this psychological disease is disguised as a In the case of females, especially teenage girls, many diet. Through the course of this "diet", however, the anorectic anorectics find themselves caught between acceptance and in"

Men, on the other hand, are told to be big and strong-but not necessarily overweight. Dr. Lee prophesies that "if the 'thin is in' movement continues as it is there is a good possibility that the number of male anorectics will increase." Dr. Lee also suggests that societal pressure to maintain self-control and self-restraint play a major role in the anorectic's way of thinking. In the end, he says, "it's how people interpret what society is saying." For treatment, Dr. Lee cites three major types: hospitalization, psychotherapy and family therapy. Hospitalization is often the first stage since many anorectics fail to seek help until they fall critically ill. Medical treatment focuses initially on weight restoration which may be accompanied by chemotherapy to stimulate the appetite and/or behavior therapy which has been shown to have only limited effectiveness. Psychotherapeutic treatment involves counselling specifically tailored to each individual's case. Since anorexia nervosa is often the result of multiple causes, therapy tends to focus on correcting a number of the items mentioned earlier. Usually, this entails rectifying the faulty cognitions and beliefs of the anorectic. Finally, in the case of familial problems, family therapy is the recommended treatment. Family sessions tend to focus on changing the patterns of interaction in the family to help alleviate the anorectic's familial anxieties. 10 to 15% result in death may lose up to 33 percent of his or her total body weight which rejection of their sexuality. A strong fear of growing up causes subsequently may result in death from starvation or some a repression of sexual development. This psychological Sad as it is, anorectics are not all other complication such as infection or kidney failure. disturbance is supported by the fact that menstruation often cured. Of the total number of annual The recent death of Karen Carpenter from heart failure is stops during the first few months of the girl's "diet", before cases, 10 to 15 per cent result one example of the tragic effects of this destructive disease. weight loss is so severe as to account for its cessation. in death. In a few cases, treatment Early in life, the 32-year old singer became psychotic about In other cases, the anorectic may suffer from a distorted works so well that the patient fails to control losing weight. Dieting produced a thinner Karen Carpenter, body image. In this case, the anorectic fails to read her body's his or her appetite and who was but a shadow of her former self. Consequently, her signals of hunger or satiation and consequently may think she consequently faces a new eating disorder—obesity. obsession with being thin led to a nine-year struggle with the is not hungry at all or after eating just a morsel of food may disease that finally resulted in her death. think she is full. Dr. Lee emphasizes that anorexia nervosa is not a Anorexia nervosa is not a common illness. During a As the final individual factor, Dr. Lee cites personal common illness. lifetime, many people may show signs of anorexia, that is, characteristics. Often the anorectic is a perfectionist and a "Students," he says, "often show symptoms of the illness since to loss of appetite, but are able to regain sufficient control of high-achiever who desperately wants to succeed in fulfilling survive economically they just their reasoning abilities to avoid anorexia nervosa. her own expectations. Thus, she will deliberately deny herself don't eat." Dr. Daniel Lee, Director of Counselling Services at the nourishment as an act of self-deprivation and restraint. It is by no means, however, a prevalent problem University of Ottawa, points out, "It (anorexia nervosa) is Under familial factors, Dr. Lee suggests that most among student populations. definitely becoming more prevalent, although only a small anorectics come from upper-middle class families, although Since percentage of the problems we see here." the disease is becoming more widespread among the general early detection of this disease is important, Dr. Lee estimates that anorexia nervosa constitutes 1 to 2 middle-class population. Often the anorectic feels intense some of the to look are: per cent of the problems Counselling Services are faced with. pressure from authoritative parents to do well and, like a symptoms for refusal to eat, He emphasizes, however, that they "really don't see all the 'good girl', outwardly strives to please. Inwardly, however, rapid weight loss, hyperactivity and overexertion, people on campus with the problem - there's a stigma attached the anorectic rebels by refusing to fulfill her body's needs. cessation of to coming to see a psychologist." Dr. Lee also suggests that family interaction patterns may menstruation, rapid changes in mood, and an "An interesting fact," he says, "is anorectics that we do present a problem for the anorectic. "There's usually unhealthy obsession with being thin. i come into contact with don't usually come in for that reason. something amiss," he says."It may, for example, be scarcity 16The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 31, 1983 ENTERTAINMENT Stray Cats adapt rockabilly ancestry to modern toughness University Orchestra although it smacks of grease, cigarettes, and "four string guitars", has a certain likeableness that gives final channels it into the mainstream of concert listeners—people can't deny that it is "catchy". Originality is always This evening at 8:00 in theTheatre Catherwood, commenting on something important to be claimed, orchestra, Auditorium, the University 'it is a testament to the and the Stray Cats rely on the Orchestra will present its final enduring will and human spirit premise that they've struck a concert of the year. Featured on the against oppression. Shostakovich medium between "semi-punkers" program will be a premier was an artist who was not afraid of and those wallowing in the '60s the truth and lived in fear for his life swoon. They've adapted melodies of performance of "Sonata for because of it. their rock-a-billy ancestry to a Orchestra" by Thomas Ingolsby, a The University Symphony certain "toughness" that is composition major in the Faculty of Orchestra has given many concerts respected the clubs of the work be in '80s. So Music. This will conducted this year on campus and also to they're different from an artist like by Michael Purvis-Smith, Professor other cities on Ontario. The say, Robert Gorden, whose deep giant elevator tones may be appropriate for "lover's point", but not for the El Macambo in Toronto. Rough n tumble rock n roll clubs go with the style of music The sound is more electric, with a little less twang from say a rickenbacker guitar, and a little more pulling offfrom say a Les Paul. The designed effect is not to recreate the old wave (the King Pins have been doing this) but to modernize it slightly; this is evident in the exaggerated hair styles and the mixed-up clothes. of Music. Other works on the orchestra most recently performed Rocker, Setzer, and The Stray Cats: Lee Brian Slim Jim The Stray Cats have also made use program include the famous in the WLU production of Vaughn- Phantom. of the "stand-up drummer", which "Adagio" for strings by Samuel Williams Opera, "Pilgrims accentuates the aggressive image of Progress". Alec Catherwood, the Barber, and the Symphony No. 5 by the band. With Rocker's bass being conductor, played in many by Carl Clutchey Dmitri Shostakovich. Barber, an free-wheeled around the stage like prominent orchestras in the United While some of us were tripping of its revved up audiences. American composer and Shostako- it's dance partner, and Setzer's States as a violinist before coming to over the invisible line between 1979 The Stray Cats aren't much older his gangling body boppin' like a top, WLU. Of the upcoming concert he and 1981, others, like the Stray Cats, than their following: guitarist Brian vich, a Russian composer, are both they are in themselves their own says,"the Orchestra sound simply skidded abruptly up to the end ofthe Setzer is 21, and bassist Lee Rocker no longer alive. visual aid. It's an important part of '70s, and catapulted into the new era and drummer Slim Jim Phantom are The fifth Symphony will always marvellous, and is playing at a level the whole stage effect. of rock 'n roll music off a spring 20. Perhaps that's the main be regarded as one of the great which many professional Orchestras One problem with the topless.trio board of '60s sassy rock-a-billy. ingredient between the musicians works of this century, says Alec might well envy. is that their music loses its The Centre in the Square was and their audience: mutual quality a half an packed with herds of "teeny bops" excitement. But in comparison to innovative after hour of "bangin' and yellin' who were made up, put up, and shut what they usually play in front of, the Stray Cats performed for a are young, and have lots of time to the but at pretty tame crowd at the Centre in refine work they've done, thanks a Like, man! They've struck medium the Square. They've been this point in time "The Kingbees" between semi-punkers and (they do gigs at the El Macombo) are accustomed to playing at, shall we Hello. This is Carl, the entertainment have done a great job. those wallowing in the '60s more imaginative—especially in the say, in wilder surroundings—rough entertainment editor speaking to Like, I appreciate it. Unfortunately, solo department. Listening to "Built swoon. and tumble rock 'n roll clubs go with you. is the last issue, I feel I cannot list them all at this time. For Speed" in its entirity is a real Since this the style of music. obliged to take some space and pay Also, Gary Stewart at Bent (U ofW) test. up for the up-beat trio that rang true "Built For Speed", the Stray Cats' homage to certain individuals. I and Marlene Batchelor at the Centre The Stray Cats were opened with of pioneer artists such as Gene North American effort, contains should say that I'm not really trying in the Square have been very helpful a band from Toronto called "The Vincent, Elvis Presley, and Johnnie some material from their two to space because this little "ditty" with providing me with free tickets Deserters", who have the same fill Burnett. This kind of music, English albums, "Stray Cats" and is presented in regular sized print, so to their productions. Other The appeal and the same problems. It's helpful, but complete with flyin' guitar, spinnin' 'Gonna Ball." fast-paced this be a legitimate thank you. promoters have been hard to be dynamic in the rockola will base and bangin' and yellin', album is even getting air play on AM For most part, the writers in these two people were really helpful. business. the continues to inspire the rhythm out radio stations because the music, Catchin' a flipside Bruce Cockburn: The Trouble With Normal by Brian Keffer

if If you're looking for party want to play/ Why don't you think remark, "it'll all go back to normal replying atmosphere, emotional highs, or about the better way?" we put our nation first" by is it even simply slumber inducing There is a running motif "but the trouble with normal entertainment, Bruce Cockburn's throughout the album which always gets worse." "The Trouble with Normal" is necessitates an uneasy urgency. It is Cockburn might be called but only perhaps not for you. Why? Because clear that our civilization is in dire pessimistic for this album, the it is none of these things but rather a straights and that tragedy is perhaps by those who would overlook he so thought provoking, soul searching, on the horizon, if it is not already reality of our situation as even frightening exposition. running its course. Intimations of compellingly describes it. be It is an invitation to open our eyes war and even total devastation One cannot help but somehow and feeling to the sorry conditios ofour world at underline the contents of the album moved by the sincerity into thjs present; as a result, one might expect as a unit and again, the message is that Cockburn has put insofar as it the album to echo sonorous sounds that we must wake up to the work. It is prophetic, clear, perhaps of gloom and doom. This is indeed reality today that there may be a reveals the dark and of today, it is the case, but certainly not without a tomorrow. unpleasant realities as 1 strong accent of hope underscoring. also strangely apocalyptic, The album becomes a warning out imagery m Drawing from nearly every arena collaborates magical of Cockburn's expressed hope that to of conflict and brooding discontent, lyrics and in musical expression we will not all become as "some for active Cockburn includes such villains as convey an urgent appeal people who never see the light till it are undermining the third world awareness. . shines through bullet holes." o 112 peoples, expedient politics, racists, A powerful combination He invites us to put aside our album stands beguiled preachers, war wishers, and despair and hope, this differences, "put our hearts than social perhaps what is the worst of all, out as much more together, set up a rhythm in or wors shoulder shruggers. commentary, for better , combination". He those who moving refutes but rather as one man's saying listen Cockburn's own feelings are would shrug their shoulders attempt at challenging his comes or who might bully's gameand I don't "security first" —— clear; "It's a to listen. The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 31, 1983 17 be...to I CLASSIFIED be...to be... Gang, to To the Wilf's Trapper I taught him to play hockey and F°r the good times, good April HEY! GAY COMMUNITY score a few goals friends and good drink, and for Thursday, March 31 Thursday, 7 uncooperative DANCE ON FRIDAY, APRIL 22 And I taught him how to pick up the Daisy, we Thursday, March 31st-8:00 p.m. AIESEC PRESENTS SPONSORED BY GAYS OF a chick thank you from the bottom of WLU Orchestra Concert - Free The return of the Yuk Yuk's-a WLU AND GLOW AND Trapper learned quick how to our Black Russians. Special Admisssion. hilarious night of stand-up OTHERS! WATCH FOR cope with us pros thanks go to P and E. Love A, M& Prof. A. Catherwood, conductor comedy. Thursday April 7th at POSTERS OR CALL THE But he still needs help with his T Theatre Auditorium the Knights of Columbus. GAYLINE 884-4569 FOR stick Dear Ray: Doors open 8 p.m. Show DETAILS. OR COME TO A He partied with us from evening Thanks for the great time on Gays of WLU will be holding starts 9 p.m. $4.00 in advance, COFFEEHOUSE! till morn your waterbed. We really its regular coffeehouse tonight $5.00 at the door. Tickets on He learned how to drink a few enjoyed the surfing lessons, in the History Lounge, room 4- sale in the concourse now! brew Catch ya again when the tide's 301 CTB, beginning at 8:00 p.m. But he was with 'woody' his up. a break and drop in. overgrown thorn Love, the Gang Take Music at Noon Concert at WLU The WLU Alumni Association veryone we come. So he still managed to do it with Music at Noon will feature the 's pleased to sponsor two awards again this year: LADY BLEW 4 ROOMS to SUBLET all or Alumni Concert-Patricia Good, KEEP POONING, FRIENDS, Saturday, April 2 Harp; Vivian Minden, flute. separately. Columbia near ALWAYS - Concert will be held in the T.A. The Award of Merit Hazel. May August. Washer, ROONEY dryer,fridge,stove,furnished or April 2 & 3 at 12 noon. Admission free and Five unfurnished. $120/mth. Evening Concert at WLU everyone welcome. This award is valued at $1,000 Bucks Reward--No neg. ' 884-8427, Evening concert will present the s open to those who are Questions Asked! Phone 885-5061. , . . ... so , children or brothers or Ok, the first person returned r , Baroque Ensemble and Laurier c , » of, "1 iUin 'VPe Singers featuring Carissimi's oUnday, April sisters of WLU Alumni who have it...well maybe...? That's great, , reports, financial statements, met the University entrance but check this out-I never got.i-J,t! ludicium extremum. Concert April 10 etc Piease ca ll 662-1038. will begin at 8 p.m. in the Theatre A WLU Musical Showcase at requirements The award is someone else must have Auditorium. Admission: Adults - Centre based on leadership qualities at borrowed it. Whoever "borrow- Start the New year right with

- ed bike $4; Students/Seniors $2. All major musical ensembles in school as well as in the my the second time, more R&R. Typing pro- could you Everyone welcome. the music faculty at Wilfrid community and academic please drop it off at fessionally done. 65

the university's development . Auditorium A fund. More than 220 musicians - Featuring music of BatroU, q Present a program rang.ng J „? -J—- Applications are presently being accepted for the Brahms, Haydn, Bizet, Donizett achievcmc b an A|u|nni Mozart, and the "Nelson Mass" from early music to,azz T.ckets / of of the Cord Weekly. Duration of memb th area o( ,heir position Editor are available at the Centre or the , . Ki/HauHnt>y riayan. chosen career, to their employment is August 1/83 to April 30/84. Salary is music .. Grppnp university s facultyy office. , Drur. uoraonGnrHon ureene, Conductoruunuutiui J community and/or to our $200/week plus benefits. Admission Free University. The member should Thanks for your support. an Ambassador of goodwill Applications can be left in the WLUSP mailbox in l uesday, April 22 for both the Alumni Association the WLUSU office or addressed to: Evening and the University concert at WLU at large. Student Publications Evening concert will present the Dr. Ake Blomqvist, Professor New Music Ensemble-Mariano of Economics, will speak on The nominee must be a 75 University Avenue West Etkin, director features work for "Public Health Insurance and graduate of WLU. The award is Waterloo, Ontario multiple Dianos. Concert will Optimal Income Taxation." He presented at Homecomng. N2L 3C5 begin at 8 p.m. in the T.A. will be speaking at 2:30 p.m. in Submit nominations to Admission: Adults $4; Students/ P1003 of the Peters Building. 'Chariman, Awards Committee, Deadline for applications: April 8, 1983. Seniors $2. Everyone welcome. Admission free. WLU Alumni Association'. A TTENTION WLUSU GRADS! Is Now Accepting Register at the Alumni Hospitality Applications for Suite at Alumni Hall 884-3330 Part-time Employment It's the solution to all your questions about Graduation Weekend! in the Following Areas: Drop-In Centre with Cash Bar Message Centre for friends and Wilf's family Turret Information on: Accomodations Games Room Entertainment Where classmates are Student Security accomodated Commencing Hours: Friday May 27 3pmtolo pm Saturday May 28 10 am to 8 pm September 1983 For Further Information Contact: John Kincaide, Director of Alumni Affairs APPLICATIONS Home: (416) 921-2555 AND Business: (416) 920-7465 INFORMATION AVAILABLE IN Alumni Graduation Committee: John Kincaide, Steve Wilkie STUDENT UNION OFFICES | POETICS

EASTER MORNING

This morning, tl:e houses are brighter * than the sky- Inside white stucco and painted wood— the sky is lead. contorted light Depression In the air tones the thought of being alone of desperate celebration: tears that fall onto a soggy kleenex 5.000 miles south the phone that never rings war fleets are preparing sacrifices. All emotions implanted inside the spout to feelings is closed tight Myself. I collect beer bottles the light of life has left from a bus stop, under "one light penetrates the window" the glare of a toothless man. • Emptiness ensues ice contorts the beam and imagine a beach house on Lake Huron the battle of friendship dies at sea writing odes to the end of the world. trapped in a reality the being endures & a body that it doesn't want all punishment seventy-thousand dead but as yet a spark of love has not walks & to / it tries talk been lit from 140 wars since 1945. & bleeds for recognition Canacia: 1,228,000 unemployed and acceptance The coldness and desolation Bennett's private secretary spends neither come.... that is tolerated ninety-grand on furniture. can only last a short time the people come & go there is a breaking point The houses are always looking at the window than the for the texture is smooth brighter The unfillfullment that lies with a skv: animated by lives match or by lights: held together by desire o be shown unless and beautiful to the eye or 4x4's unable to be shown unless angled. but they never look behind the it is helped apparent is the sensation of the drain of to Lights, camera: mv where the inner light radiates... caring towards a solitary being four beer bottles are not equipped to reach out forty cents, are but able to take in all four dollars pissed into doorways, are by Allan Moore kindness that is handed. broken glass held together by. String?

by .lames Dopp by Laura May

IMPORTANT NEWS ABOUT THE CANADA STUDENT LOANS PROGRAM

The Government of Canada is proposing changes in the Canada Student Loans (CSL) Act to help provide post-secondary students with financial assistance to pursue their education. What We propose to offer:

• Guaranteed loans to needy part-time students to help cover the cost of tuition fees, learning materials, transportation and related expenses.

• An interest relief plan for unemployed graduates to provide for the payment of interest charges due on student loans. Both full and part-time students would be eligible for assistance.

• Increased weekly student loan limits to $100 from the current level of $56.25. When Our objective: the coming academic year. We intend to introduce legislation in Parliament shortly to make these changes to the CSL Act. The implementation of the proposed changes will require the co-operation of participating provinces and lending institutions. Where can you get more information? For more information on these proposals, write to: Office of the Secretary of State Ottawa, KIA OMS

■ ■ The Secretary of State Le Secretaire d'Etat zn ihi ■ ■ of Canada du Canada ■ O T~l d/l SI The Honourable Serge Joyal L'honorable Serge Joyal VyCll SPORTS

Chuck takes a look at next year

So what is in store for next year in This is quite good in comparison to Laurier Sports? the league average. The biggest Apparently some good things it competition in the league will come from course Western and those we can convince some people to of aggies down the highway, the coacMh^eams^^^^^^^^^^^ Guelph Gryphons.

lost two All-Canadians.., ...three rookies on the court at once... Soccer. The team is losing seven veteran starters. This would hurt any team, our team especially Basketball Coulthard wasn't when you consider the calibre of too sure where his team would finish players that we will be losing. Scotty in the standings next year but he was Fraser and Paul Scholtz lead the sure that the team would be better brigade of graduating players. Both than this year's. Again his is not to Fraser and Scholtz are All- put down this year's team. It was a Canadians and both have been the young team that sometimes saw team's MVP winners. Team coach three rookies on the court at once. Barry Lyons considers next year to The team still played good team ball be a rebuilding year, but is not and finished with a record of 5-7. wiping out the season completely. Only one player is leaving this squad "If the players come to our school and this is team captain Leon that say they will we could have a Arendse. very good team. What is a concern is Again, the coach is looking for their ability to achieve the proper some fine recruits to come to camp scholastic marks to gain admittance next year. to Laurier." Lyons believes the team One change to next year's team will still be very competitive in could feature the return of Scotty league play. Bryson. Bryson took this past year off to travel in the south and is hoping to get back into Laurier for ...six starting rookies next year. His aggressiveness and have experience... size will be gladly accepted by Coulthard^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Football. The football team is coming off what was seen by the ...strive to make coaching staff to be a rebuilding nationals and improve... year. The team did not make the St p 9 playoffs last year but sees no chance TUFFY RIDING INTO SUNSET? r j of that happening again this year. Hockey This year's most Last year the Hawks fielded six successful team on campus will be starting rookies. That is alot for any losing its most valuable player for particular season, and all those the past two years, Terry players have gained invaluable Thompson. Also gone will be team experience. The team also has some captain Don Poulter. The team has good recruits lined up again for next built something here at Laurier and caused the look next The TNUC season. things good year. beats The position that for Unit most concern last year, quarterback, team's forte the past season was good 4:27 left in the first as Dave seconds to add to their total as Kevin has continued to worry the coaching defense. This is as everyone of by John "Sandy" Sanderson period staff over the off season. They their backliners is returning. Reis slipped the puck past TNUC "Doc" Holliday blasted one in from believe that they have cured their Goal will be of vital concern. Well it's all over! Atter a lengthy goalie Stewy Roberts with a low the far boards. Dave Otto again problems with the experience that Although Bienkowski was season the Unit now stands as the blast to the stick side. Dave Otto and assisted on the play. Mike Willson has gained, a strong superlative in the playoffs he is Intramural champions. Rod McKeown assisted on the play. The last seven minutes of the third rookie they have recruited. Rusty unproved over the long run. He did They earned their place in history The second period was scoreless period was all TNUC. McManewas Porter of Mississauga, and the look shaky in some regular season by defeating the TNUC squad 2-1 in but can be acredited to fine goal pelted in net but was true to the task. development over the off season of games but the-coach is confident of a very fast paced, entertaining game tending by both clubs. The Unit's It wasn't until there was 2:33 left to Marco Trecroce, who was injured Bienkowski being able to keep up his Monday night. goalie Charlie "Chuck" McMane plav that the TNUC's Mike early last season. intensity for the year. The game was especially exciting was constantly being tested and "Smitty" Smith broke the big egg. Spring training has already begun Gowing feels that the Hawks for the 300 plus fans in attendance somehow stopped* the TNUC Dony Peart and Paul McSorley for the football team and the should strive to make the nationals who tended to get a little out ofhand offense. Charlie's brilliant assisted on the play. A gallant six coaches will have a better idea of again next vearand improve on their at times. A new tradition in this area performance in the pipes gained him man power attack by TNUC almost their position in a couple of weeks. record there. seems to be that wherever there is a Ist star of the game. tied the game with 17 seconds left The defence also looks good for Laurier hockey game there is also After the flood and intermission but the puck somehow stayed out. next year. It will be anchored by So there is a wrap up of next year pickles and eggs. This now holds the TNUC fans started to get a little Stewv Roberts was awarded 2nd defensive back Dave Lovegrove who at Laurier in the four main sports. true for the Intramural league as impatient. The referee, Brian Walsh star of the game and the Unit's -appears to have All-Canadian Good luck to all the teams next year. students practically threw an entire from the OHA, did a fantastic job Kevin Holliday was awarded third written all over him. This year's To the fans—try and show up for meal at the officials. Drinks were not only calling a fine game, but star. The referee Brian Walsh did a team looks to be quicker than last some games other than the playoffs, considered too good to waste and evading the onslaught ofpickles and superb job as did his linesmen Mark year's unit. Last year's defensive it can only enhance our team's were kept from the ice. eggs. McKenzie and Barry Shulist. corps was not all that shabby either. performance. Don't forget about The Unit came out strong and As the third period started TNUC Congratulations to the Unit and a They averaged only two Rugby either. They should have a dominated a majority of the game. appeared to be a little fiat. The "Thank-you" to all other touchdowns a eame against them. highly competitive team next year. First blood was struck with only smooth skating Unit only took 43 participants, "see ya next year!" 20I The Cord Weekly, Thursday, March 31, 1983 Chuck's Ground Hello, my name is... Hi! You probably don't know me the San Diego Chargers). boyfriends happy by silently because I can't afford an American Seriously, I love watching sports watching football games as their The end! Express card, but I'm your new as well as participating in sports. I boyfriends are glued to the Sunday An ominous way to begin a column no doubt. It also is the truth. sports editor. I hesitate in revealing may not be the most talented athlete afternoon games. I don't fit into the There are to be no more Chuck's Grounds. The end of another Cord my true identity because I know the around, but that hasn't gotten in the stereptype of a typical 20 year old year has brought to end the aspiring career I had hoped for in sports type of reaction I may receive. I way of my love for sports. woman and I probably never will. writing. could lie and say my name is Bubba I also love to write and hopefully But that's what makes me different! No longer will I be able to rag Tuffy, or anyone else for that matter, Brooks, or that my uncle is Howard I'll be able to keep the sports fans of 1 I'm really looking forward to in concerns of sports. It has been an exciting, fast year and I will miss Cosell, but I may as well just be WLU happy with my wit, being sports Editor of the Cord. sports greatly. The question is, will sports miss me? honest with you faithful sports enthusiasm and informative Sports are an important part of

- I will be returning to the Cord next year. It will not be as the sports readers. My name is Theresa Kelly - columns. I've always felt that it is WLU and I feel we must all support editor however. I have changed my allegiance to the news. I'm not sure and I'm going to be the force behind important to go beyond the scores our Hawks. For a school that is only why but I did. the sports section starting in and blur of faces and dig to find a half the size of the big sports powers As I write this last column I can't help but reminisce over the past September 1983. new angle to cover. I expect criticism in Canada, our sports record is school year. There was the first Tuffy Ground, there was the beer I know what you're thinking. from the male population of WLU. impressive. But without the support company story, Paul McSorley, the hockey team, a trip to Sudbury, 'Hey, what does she possibly know They may accept the idea of a of us, their victories are hollow. the A.C. comparison, the President's commission, the rugby team, the about sports? Or what can she tell us woman sports editor, but probably Let's all stand behind the sports Turret and the Athletic budget. These are only the topics I about "manly" sports like football feel I won't want to offend anyone teams of WLU next year! remembered off the top of my head; I'm sure there are more that I have and hockey? My response is that you and therefore will write "safe" I I've contemplated changing my just lost in the fog. don't have to have a tough image or comments, to avoid death threats in name, to sound like a 'real' sports I though that this would be the quiet week of the year, but no! I tough name to love sports. The truth the Turret lines or anonymous sticks editor, and perhaps I will but just heard a couple of weeks ago that Newbrough might be going to is that I've always loved sports and of dynamite in my desk. I have as remember, regardless of the byline I Toronto, but I did not vworry too much about it. This week though I I'm really looking forward to my many opinions as the next person use, my true identity won't change. found out the list of candidates included not only Wayne Gowing but new position. and I do intend to take a stand on So next year if you see a girl, Tuffy himself! This of course got the old memory going and I When I told my mom that I current issues in the sports world. dressed in a dress and high heeled remembered someone telling me in the strictest confidence that applied for the position of sports You may not always agree with me, pumps hanging around the AC- Barry Lyons was not going to coach next year. Then I remembered editor, she just laughed. "What do but hopefully you'll be able to don't be surprised. You've been that the U of T basketball coaching job was up for grabs. I also knew you know about sports?" she asked respect my opinions. warned. If you think this was all just that Chris Coulthard was two time coach of the year and might be me. She humoured me though, by I've faced this criticism before - a hilarous April Fool's Joke, ha!ha! interested in that job as a way of improving his position. Let's just hold wishing me luck. When I told her I it's called stereotyping. Girls are not because the joke's on you. it here for awhile. What's going on? Why was I getting the impression got the sports editor position, she supposed to be genuinely interested See you in September for a great

that everyone was leaving a sinking ship? was a little shocked-but she didn't in sports - just enough to keep their year of Hawk watching! Fortunately my worries were unfounded. In talking with Coulthard faint. and Lyons they have promised me that they will be back to coach here Ever since I was a little girl, my HaHBHHHHBj again next year. mother kept telling herself and all For the record, I would like everyone to know that Tuffy returned her friends that my love for sports IT PAYS TO COME BACK one of my telephone calls, it was within the hour as well! It was not was just a passing phase. Someday I a great conversation but the point is that he did return a call. I was would wake up and no longer wish If you're thinking of continuing your surprised (told him that too). As to our conversation though—he to wear my brother's old baseball education, then now is the perfect wouldn't comment at this time if he has applied for the job at Toronto. hat or my brother's hockey sweater. I just couldn't believe that he did when I first heard of it. What would It never happened. And I suppose time to do it. Laurier be without Tuffy? Some would argue a better place. I would yesterday's announcement made her Graduate Study in English pays in sev- realize that be say different. I'll always part ways: and talk eral course I had to ask myself a man in Tuffy's position would tomboy football lingo with * Of why • $ run for just a head coach's job. Wouldn't he find that awfully anyone who questions my Receive between 5,500 and $11,750 confining? Maybe things are not right for him around here any longer, credentials. Now that she's accepted through scholarships, bursaries and and he sees this as a good time to get out. Maybe he did not even apply my "news" I can get along with my Graduate Assistantships.

• for the job. I think he did, otherwise he could have denied applying, life as a future sports writer for the Meet new people - our classes are small j right? Toronto Star. and personal. ; But why are all other coaches Or even these leaving? thinking about My favourite sport is football. • Advance your professional upgrading. it for that matter. They all claim that everyting is fine down at the ol' Sure, you ask, what can she possibly • your intellectual A.C. If everything is so Jim Dandy why the hell is everyone wanting know about football? Well, with Satisfy hunger. out? Even Newbrough, who has been here almost as long as Tuffy said three older brothers, 1 learned at an Our course offerings for 1983/84 include that he was happy here, then corrected himself and said that he was early age that it was better to silently American, Canadian and British Litera- fairly happy. If he is fairly happy, where does everyone else stand, sit watch the game with them than risk ture. Call or write today for more informa- or lie? a black eye by even suggesting that tion: You see what 1 mean? This week started out to get too complicated. we watch the Flintstones. Soon, I I just wanted to take it easy this week and maybe write a couple ofjoke discovered that I liked it. I started HMH Department of English stories. Maybe I won't miss this job so much after all. watching Wide World of Sports and HH Lakehead University So here's my final "so long". I hope you've enjoyed reading the football games by choice. And now I Thunder Bay, Ontario sports section this year. And I am still looking for that Letterman's tell my dad when the games are on TV and who's who. I've even jacket. playing Phone: 345-2121 (ext. 292) learned to live with my mother's threats to break the TV set if I " this figure refers to full-time students. Part-time stu- should even think about watching dents are eligible for financial assistance as well. Monday Night Football. (Oh, incidentally, my favourite football bye! teams are the Dallas Cowboys and

M I Word Processing, Editing, Typing 1 1 Erb Street West/ Waterloo ■ M To be polite and finally quelch the rumour that I can't say anything ■ John C Routley, Bfl w m nice about anybody I would like to thank everyone that helped out this 886-8089 886-6275 year in putting together this section. First ofall to Kevin McFadden. Over the second half of the year he was basically assistant sports editor. Over the whole year he was a damn good photographer. & Then there is the list of writers; Fuge, Dave Bradshaw, Peter FRI. SAT. , * , W Noblesheet, Special to the Cord, Theresa Noonan, Elaine Stokes, 112 A NIGHTS" M "V- Larry Drummond, Sandy, Kevin Reilly, Rick Pajor, Tougas, Cathy -" lan Clancy, Tim Dawkins, and any others that I may have forgotten. (The fog is setting in again.) Meet New Friends" Also of course I have to thank those two clowns who put in the sports quiz every week, Chuck Tatham and Mike Lock. Speaking of them, I should also thank Mike Langer for staying on top of them [~K~W BOOir i throughout the year. What can What haven't j EXCHANGE rW.W Then there is Buffalo Chips. I say? they? Used Books J Matt may have only been here half the year but his spirit lived on. Brett New and | carry stayed the whole year and made life miserable for me at every turn. We now Your feet that they will be remembered the \ Magazines love the beat They have left us now. I'm sure for International j at Huggy Bear's idiots that they truly are. We also sell New & Used

& . { At the Cord, I would like to thank Mike, and Jackie for all their help I German books magazines U all the excitement's at The Grand!\ v*l and ideas. So that's about it Batfans. Look for the Ground next year 742-1261 j on or about page four...unless...Tuffy gets the job in the Big Smoke. I 306 King St. W., You will then find me the pages of the U of T paper, in or about the ' in J - 9 a.m. 9 p.m. *| sports section. Mon'.-Fri. Sat. 9 a.m. - 6 p.m

Chuck Kirk ham • •