6 WAYS GIVING AWAY YOUR MONEY MAKES YOU PROSPEROUS Shalom

tidingsA BI-MONTHLY CHRISTIAN MAGAZINE EATING BREAKFAST WITH JESUS BY JULIE MARTIN GOD How My Husband LEADS Handled My Past US ON A BY KATIE SCIBA

December 2015/January 2016 $4.99 JOURNEY 01

OF JOY 725274 80718 5 FROM THE LATIN  GOOD NEWS.

B lessed Mother, Star of the New Evangelization, guide your children here on earth. Bring us closer to the heart of the Father. Help us to keep our eyes on your Son daily. Pray for us, dear Mother, that we remain on the path of holiness and gain the rewards of eternal life. Amen. EDITORIAL NOTE

CHRISTMAS SANS GRIEVANCE

ow do we usually celebrate Christmas? If we pass each Christmas with trees and lights, cookies, dinner, greetings cards, and the usual Christmas liturgy, what difference does HChristmas make in our lives? What special goodness do we experience? Do such things give us peace in our hearts and glory to God? No. We know that there was no room for Jesus to born in an inn, forcing the Blessed Mother to give birth to the Son of God in a manger reserved for animals. If Saint Joseph had been unable to find the manger, Jesus may have been birthed by the roadside! If it were any other woman, the same would have happened. I know of a few poor tribal women who gave birth to their children under the shade of trees. So, what is the difference between these situations? The significant thing to keep in mind is that the Blessed Mother accepted the manger with joy. She did not utter harsh words to her husband when he could not find a suitable place for the Divine child. Mary had assurance that it was the Son of God in her womb. Yet, when she only had a manger to give birth in, she did not doubt whether the message of the angel was right. Mary did not lament against God, asking, “What cruelty have You done to me? What wrong have I done that you torment me like this?” Moreover, she did not curse the inn-keepers who refused them room, nor Caesar, who called for the census. Even in the manger, the Blessed Mother was at peace. In joyfully allowing whatever God allowed for her, without questions, Mary experienced the peace which is bestowed on those whom He favors. How can we too acquire that peace? By avoiding grumbling about our life circumstances. Grumbling is not suitable for the children of God. God does not like this. In our lives, there may be many things which we do not like. But know this—they did not happen without God’s knowledge. There may be shortcomings in our families. Perhaps our parents, spouse, and children behave contrary to our plans. We may be dissatisfied with our jobs. There are people who hate their lives because they think they are not wealthy enough or beautiful enough. There are those who are unable to love because they feel they are too short, too tall, are dark-skinned, are fair-skinned, are the wrong gender, and much more. These are the grumblers and they will not find peace because they question God and His plan. Mary at the manger is indeed a model for all who doubt the love and wisdom of God in times of miseries and agonies. The ways of God are mysterious. Believe in Him even when you are unable to comprehend Him. That is a sign of good will—obedience to the will of God. Only such people can experience the peace of Christmas. This Christmas and New Year, let us give up our grievances and grumblings. Let us praise God by accepting everything from His hands. Surely Christ will be born in us. We will experience Christmas in a whole new way. I wish this blessedness to all the readers.

Prayer Jesus, let us be transformed like You, who found joy in the will of the Father. Lord, we give up all our grievances about our families and the circumstances of our lives. Blessed Mother, who found peace even in a lowly manger, teach us to live without grievances against God. In all circumstances, let our hearts find peace in the presence of God. Amen.

BENNY PUNNATHARA

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 3 CONTENTS

ENGAGE 5 A Priest Forgiven For An Abortion | FATHER STEPHEN IMBARRATO SAM GUZMAN 6 Tolkien Speaks: The Secrets to a Happy Marriage | PATRON, SHALOM MINISTRIES H.E. Baselios Cardinal Cleemis 8 What Can ‘Theology of the Body’ Teach Us About Major Archbishop-Catholicos of the Managing Stress? | DR. GREGORY POPCAK Syro-Malankara Catholic Church 11 How Do You Measure A Day? | MICHELLE FRITZ PATRONS Bishop Daniel E. Flores 13 Radioactive Spider Bite | JOE PHILIP Diocese of Brownsville 14 The Mass and the Four Most Important Lessons of Bishop Mar Jacob Angadiath Syro-Malabar Diocese, Chicago Childhood | DR. MICHAEL P. FOLEY Bishop Thomas Mar Eusebius, Syro-Malankara Exarchate, USA ENCOUNTER SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR 18 Eating Breakfast with Jesus | JULIE MARTIN Father (Dr.) Roy Palatty, C.M.I. CHRISTOPHER STEFANICK EDITOR-IN-CHIEF 20 Blessed Chiara Badano | Chevalier Benny Punnathara LUCIANO CORBO 22 A Spiritual Warrior’s Arsenal | CONTRIBUTING EDITOR 25 Cross Bearers Needed | BARBARA LISHKO Joe Philip SENIOR SUB-EDITOR Mary Job ENJOY EDITORIAL COUNCIL 28 How My Husband Handled My Past | KATIE SCIBA Joseph John Jinto Mathew 30 The Profound Dignity of Motherhood | JAMES M. LITTLETON DESIGN 33 6 Reasons Why Giving Away Your Money Mustard Tree (www.mustardtree.in) Makes You Prosperous | FATHER DWIGHT LONGENECKER SHALOM TIDINGS December 2015/January 2016 (ISSN 36 No One Is Perfect Until You Fall In Love With Them | JINTO MATHEW 2327-4549) is published every two months by Shalom Media USA Inc., 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, Texas RICH MAFFEO 78539. Periodicals postage pending at Edinburg, Texas, and 38 The Lesson of Rotting Cabbage | additional mailing offices.

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4 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 THEA PRIEST FORGIVEN CHURCH FOR AN ABORTION IS MERCIFUL By Father Stephen Imbarrato

write today as a priest who was guilty of an abortion decades ago. a priest?” Well, it is because the Church is, as it should be and No sooner had I heard about Pope Francis’ letter giving universal as Jesus is: merciful. Yes, the Church wanted to be sure that my Ifaculties to priests to absolve the sin of abortion and lift any former girlfriend and I were suffi ciently healed and that she was excommunication, did I fi nd myself being interviewed on the radio aware and approved of my becoming a priest. And yes, such and being asked curious questions about the Pope’s letter. a sin is an “impediment” to ordination as a priest, but, as with Is this a new teaching? Is the Church fi nally forgiving people who many circumstances within the Church, after due investigation, have been guilty of an abortion? Later in the day, I was able to read a dispensation can be obtained. I was a recipient of such a some of the media headlines and I understood why these questions dispensation. Likewise, a woman desiring to enter religious life as were being asked. A Yahoo headline, “Pope tells priests to pardon a nun could also receive similar mercy. This is only right and just. women who have had abortions.” MSNBC reported, “Pope says priests The Church is called to be merciful as Christ is merciful. These acts can allow this Catholic sin.” The general comments I heard from of great mercy in no way diminish the Church’s correct and moral people on and off social media could be summed up with, “How teaching that abortion is a very grievous sin. As the Church teaches could the Church be so against abortion that it would refuse mercy and has always been the case, all sins are forgivable if one seeks to people for this sin?” It is almost as if in one single day we entered forgiveness and is truly repentant. Pope Francis says as much in his an abyss in which the Church was void of mercy when, in reality, the letter allowing all priests to forgive abortions in confession and giving Church is all about mercy…and I am a living example of how the them the faculties to lift any excommunication to “those who have Church, continuing the work of Christ on earth, extends God’s mercy procured [abortion] and who, with a contrite heart, seek forgiveness to all who seek His mercy. for it.” In the 1970s, long before I became a priest, I encouraged my Of course, people do need to understand that in the United girlfriend to have an abortion. Guilt followed almost immediately, as States, priests have already had this merciful power from the Church did the confession of our sin to a priest. Our healing came much for a long time. The Pope’s letter is just reinforcing what I and many more slowly and we eventually parted ways. Thirty years later, in the other Catholics already know: The Catholic Church is all about seminary, while counseling a young man about his complicity in his forgiveness, all about mercy. It is in this mercy, that people fi nd their girlfriend’s abortion, I realized I was “that man.” Prudently, I was able way to true healing and peace. to seek out my former girlfriend and apologize for hurting her and not being a real man decades before. It was only then that I found out © FATHER STEPHEN IMBARRATO is a Roman Catholic Priest of the Archdiocese of the abortion involved twins. She had held that secret until the day I Santa Fe, New Mexico. He serves full-time as a priest-associate of Priests for Life, the apologized to her, opening up a fl ood of grace in her healing process Catholic Church’s largest pro-life ministry. For more information on Father Stephen and mine. and Priests for Life, visit www.PriestsForLife.org. For more commentary from Priests for You may ask, “How does a man guilty of such a sin become Life about the Pope’s action, see www.JubileeOfMercy.net.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 5 THE SECRETS TO TOLKIEN SPEAKS:

ABy Sam Guzman HAPPY MARRIAGE

J.R.R. Tolkien was a romantic. When he met his future wife, Edith, at letters to friends, he writes glowingly about her. But perhaps his most the age of sixteen, he was instantly smitten with her and immediately famous and enduring tribute to his beloved bride was weaving his began an informal courtship, taking her to local tea houses on a romance with her into the mythology of Middle Earth in the story of regular basis. When the priest who acted as Tolkien’s guardian found Beren and Luthien. A more moving tribute would be hard to find. He out about his romance, however, he forbade him from having contact wrote to his son, Christopher: with Edith until the age of twenty-one, so as not to distract from his I never called Edith “Luthien” – but she was the source of the studies. Tolkien reluctantly obeyed. For five long years, he waited story that in time became the chief part of the Silmarillion. It was first for the one he knew was his soul mate. On the evening of his 21st conceived in a small woodland glade filled with hemlocks at Roos birthday, he wrote a letter to Edith, declaring his love and asking for in Yorkshire (where I was for a brief time in command of an outpost her hand in marriage. A week later, they were engaged to be married. of the Humber Garrison in 1917, and she was able to live with me Throughout his life, Tolkien wrote love poems to his wife, and in his for a while). In those days her hair was raven, her skin clear, her

6 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 eyes brighter than you have seen them, and she could sing – is still to find. The real soul-mate too often proves to be the next and dance. sexually attractive person that comes along. Someone whom they Even in death, Tolkien would not leave his Edith. He is might indeed very profitably have married, if only—. Hence divorce, to buried next to her under a single gravestone inscribed with the provide the ‘if only’. names Beren and Luthien. To use the popular phrase, Tolkien And of course they are as a rule quite right: they did make a was very much “in love” with this wife. mistake. Only a very wise man at the end of his life could make a sound judgement concerning whom, amongst the total possible REAL LOVE HURTS chances, he ought most profitably have married! Nearly all marriages, J.R.R. Tolkien was happily married for fifty-five years. In contrast, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly the modern divorce rate is shockingly high, and some are (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very giving up on monogamous marriage altogether, claiming it imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. simply is not possible or healthy. What did Tolkien have that But the ‘real soul-mate’ is the one you are actually married to. In this many marriages do not? How did he make it work? The answer fallen world, we have as our only guides, prudence, wisdom (rare in is simple: He understood that real love involves self-denial. youth, too late in age), a clean heart, and fidelity of will…(Letters of The modern notion of love is pure sentiment, and it is J.R.R. Tolkien, pp. 51-52). focused primarily on self. If someone excites you, if they get your pulse racing, if they affirm you and your desires, then you LOVE IS A BATTLE can say that you are in love with them according to modern As I said, many might be offended by Tolkien’s straight talk about definitions. marriage. “If you really love someone,” they would argue, “it shouldn’t While deeply attached to his wife, Tolkien rejected this be hard to love them! It shouldn’t be a struggle. Marriage as shallow idea of love. He embraced instead the Catholic mortification? How offensive! You must not really love your wife.” understanding of real love as focused on the other—something This line of thinking misses the point, for real love is a fight against that requires a sacrifice of natural instincts and a determined self-love. It is a struggle against our fallen and very selfish natures. It act of the will. is a dying that gives life. And any man who is honest with himself will To illustrate Tolkien’s profound view of married love, I want admit that Tolkien was right. The struggle for chastity and fidelity never to share an excerpt from a letter to his son, Michael Tolkien. It ends, no matter how much you love your wife. is a different side of Tolkien that many are unfamiliar with. To The essence of love is an act of the will. Feelings come and go in those with an overly sentimental view of love, his words may marriage. Those with happy marriages are those who choose—choose be shocking, even offensive. Yet, he articulates truths that, if to love their wives more than themselves, who choose to sacrifice understood and embraced, bring true and lasting happiness their short-term desires for long-term happiness, who choose to give to marriage. Here is a truncated version of his letter. instead of to take. And you know what? When you choose to be faithful, happiness “THERE IS NO ESCAPE” inevitably follows. So many give up when things become difficult—at Men are not [monogamous]. No good pretending. Men just the very moment when, if they would simply choose to be faithful ain’t, not by their animal nature. Monogamy (although it and fight, they would find real happiness waiting at the end of the E has long been fundamental to our inherited ideas) is for struggle. As another happily married Catholic, G. K. Chesterton, once us men a piece of ‘revealed ethic, according to faith and wrote, “I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible not the flesh. The essence of a fallen world is that the best one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the cannot be attained by free enjoyment, or by what is called instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable. For a man “self-realization” (usually a nice name for self-indulgence, wholly and a woman, as such, are incompatible.” inimical to the realization of other selves); but by denial, by suffering. True joy and lasting happiness in marriage are possible. Countless Faithfulness in Christian marriages entails that: great mortification. marriages, including Tolkien’s, prove that fact. But we will never find For a Christian man there is no escape. Marriage may help to this joy if we are focused on ourselves. The paradox is that you must sanctify and direct to its proper object his sexual desires; its grace forget yourself to find the happiness that you seek. may help him in the struggle; but the struggle remains. It will not Men, if you want a faithful and happy marriage, you must die satisfy him—as hunger may be kept off by regular meals. It will offer to yourself. You must put your wife first. You must love her through as many difficulties to the purity proper to that state as it provides sacrifice and self-denial—the same way Christ loved His bride, the easements. Church. This is the simple secret so many miss. No man, however truly he loved his betrothed and bride as a young man, has lived faithful to her as a wife in mind and body without deliberate conscious exercise of the will, without self-denial. Too few are told that—even those brought up in ‘the Church’. Those © SAM GUZMAN is the founder and editor of the Catholic Gentleman (www. outside seem seldom to have heard it. CatholicGentleman.net). He is married and father to two small boys. Guzman serves When the glamour wears off, or merely works a bit thin, they as Communications Director for Pro-Life Wisconsin (www.ProLifeWisconsin.org). think that they have made a mistake, and that the real soul-mate Reprinted with permission.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 7 WHAT CAN “THEOLOGY OF THE BODY” TEACH US ABOUT MANAGING STESS? By Dr. Gregory Popcak

’m so busy!” “There isn’t enough time!” These are seemingly universal laments. Life is filled “Iwith opportunities to be stressed and to become even more stressed all the time. In short bursts (of a few minutes or so) stress can be useful. Stress, when it functions according to its purpose, calls our mind and body to be attentive and responsive to the challenges in front of us. Ideally, stress ramps us up so that we can make a plan to handle those situations…and then the stress should go away. We are not meant to live in a perpetual state of stress (which might come as a surprise to most people). Once stress motivates us to make a plan, it should decrease.

ALL STRESSED UP AND NOWHERE TO GO… The problem is that, in the face of stress, we do not often actually stop to make a plan. We become hyper-focused on the stressful event and live in a state of reaction rather than receptivity. Looking at stress through the lens of the “Theology of the Body,” we see that stress stops us from being receptive to God and to others. The “Theology of the Body” reminds us that a healthy life (i.e., a life dedicated to seeking connection with God and others, and open to His unfolding plan) is a receptive life; that is, a life in which we are open to the movement of the Holy Spirit in the moment and responsive to both the needs of others and the love they have to share with us.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON STRESS… Brain research shows that, under prolonged stress, the mind becomes rigid, closed, rejecting, and task/ thing-focused. When I allow myself to remain in a

8 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 state of prolonged stress, I become stuck in old patterns TAKING “TIME IN” and closed to new possibilities. I reject help and new So-called, “time-in” practices, such as meditative prayer ideas as useless before I have really taken the time to (e.g., Rosary, Eucharistic Adoration, etc.), rituals of consider them. Furthermore, I focus all my energy either connection (e.g., regularly scheduled and anticipated on simply pushing through the problem or looking for times to play, talk, work, and play with loved ones), things that will make me feel better in the short term self-care (e.g., good nutrition and physical activity), and without considering the bigger picture. leisure (e.g., hobbies and creative endeavors) have all This stressed-out posture is the antithesis of a been shown by brain research to help a person develop receptive mind and spirit which–again, according to a more receptive mindset in the presence of stressful brain research–is always curious, open, accepting, events. These practices highlight the power insights from and loving. Curiosity allows us to seek new solutions, the “Theology of the Body” that we were both created and to be open to asking the questions that enable destined for intimate connection with God and others, us to hear the Holy Spirit speaking to us in the and that the more we pursue these connections, the moment. Openness allows us to consider possibilities more we “become what we are.” That is, persons who we had not entertained before. Acceptance refers to the function best when we are both working to create willingness to suspend our judgment of new options and communities of love and pursuing intimate connection possibilities before we have gathered all the information with the God who created us, sustains us, and leads us we need to chart a healthy course of action. Loving refers on the path to wholeness. to our willingness to put the well-being of people (ourselves included) before the accomplishment of tasks or the acquisition of things. THE 'THEOLOGY OF THE STRESS: THE ANTIDOTE Again, from both the perspective of the “Theology of BODY' REMINDS US THAT the Body” and brain science, the antidote to stress A HEALTHY LIFE IS A is connection. The “Theology of the Body” reminds us of Genesis’ assertion that, “it is not good for man to RECEPTIVE LIFE; THAT IS, be alone.” Brain science bears this out. When the mind A LIFE IN WHICH WE ARE becomes dis-regulated by stress (i.e., our emotions override our intellect instead of the intellect and OPEN TO THE MOVEMENT emotions working in partnership) the quality of our OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. connection to God and others tends to determine the degree of resilience (“bounce-back-ability”) we will display. Taking time to maintain a strong connection with God and the people we love and who love us even when © DR. GREGORY POPCAK directs the Pastoral Solutions Institute (www. we are under stress helps the mind see our problems CatholicCounselors.com) an organization dedicated to helping Catholics through others eyes, reminds us that help is readily find faith-filled solutions to marriage, family, and personal problems. available, and calls our attention to the most important Together with his wife, Lisa, he hosts More2Life Radio. He is the author of things. Likewise, intimate connection with God and others over a dozen books integrating psychological insights with our Catholic fills our body with “calm-down chemicals” like oxytocin faith. For more info about books, tele-counseling and other resources, that help us to be at peace in the presence of stress. visit www.CatholicCounselors.com.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 9 Imagine Jenny. Jenny is a Registered Nurse. Five days GIFTS a week, she works in the ICU at her local hospital, caring for patients in the most critical of conditions. Her work is appreciated by her patients and noticed by her superiors. But there is something special about Jenny—her heart is on fi re It was people like Jenny, who inspired Shalom Ministry’s new global initiative— for the Lord! Jenny needs to work to GiFTS: Give In Faith, To Save. support her family, and she tithes to her The initiative is an opportunity for individuals from all walks of life, professional church and donates to a few ministries backgrounds, and corners of the world to do active ministering with Shalom Ministry. close to her heart; but Jenny has a deep Their individual time, skills, and expertise will fulfi ll the mission of GiFTS—with a simple act create a global impact, with a great eternal reward! desire to do something more for the Lord. GiFTS off ers diff erent opportunities of evangelization engagement, including Intercession, Publications Representative, Social Media, Writer/Translator, Technology, Come and See, and Full-Timership.

INTERCESSION TECHNOLOGY Join the 24/7 Intercessory Team. Put your technical and Based on your availability, pray for technology expertise to use for the various needs of the ministry, media evanglization. society, and the Church.

PUBLICATIONS COME AND SEE REPRESENTATIVE You are welcome to come Share and distribute ministry and see the international publications to your local headquarters of Shalom in community and facilitate Edinburg, Texas. Visit with us and subscription requests. spend a few days in prayer.

SOCIAL MEDIA FULL-TIMERSHIP Engage with Shalom Ministry Commit to serving with Shalom through various social media Ministry at its Edinburg, Texas, platforms. headquarters or its Production House in Rancho Cordova, California. Room and board will be provided during the commitment period.

WRITER/TRANSLATOR Share your writing and translating skills with the JOIN SHALOM MINISTRY ministry’s publications and other written materials. IN A WHOLE NEW WAY!

Visit www.ShalomWorld.org/gifts for more information and to register. HOW DO YOU MEASURE A

DAY By Michelle Fritz ?

often go to bed at night thinking of all the things I need to accomplish the next day. In fact, sometimes II fall asleep without fi nishing those thoughts. When I awake the next morning many times it is with a groan of despair thinking of all those items I need to check off my list for the day. How many of you also make to-do lists, either mentally or written out? If you are like me, it seems as if that list is never complete. At the end of the day it is rare that I have checked off all my to-do items. Most of the time I look at the unfi nished list and I feel like a failure. Why could I not have done more? Where could I change? I know I have some lazy down time in my days; why am I not more productive? That night I go to bed thinking of the things I did not

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 11 “WHATEVER YOU DO FOR YOUR FAMILY, FOR YOUR CHILDREN, FOR YOUR HUSBAND, FOR YOUR WIFE, YOU DO FOR GOD. ALL WE DO, OUR PRAYERS, OUR WORK, OUR SUFFERING, IS FOR JESUS.” BLESSED TERESA OF CALCUTTA do as well as the things on my list for the next day. The giving ourselves a compliment, making lasting memories list just gets longer as I tack on the unfinished chores with those who mean the most to us, sharing God’s love from today onto tomorrow’s list. It is a never-ending cycle. with those around us. When we do this we stand to make We all have the same amount of time in a day. There our days more meaningful and more joyful. We also stand are different ways to measure it though. We know that to accomplish more on our list than if it is simply a list a full day is 24 hours long. This works out to be 1440 of chores. When we find joy in what we are doing we are minutes or 86,400 seconds. We can measure a day from more likely to actually do it! sun up to sun down or from the time we rise to the time I strive to measure my day by counting the moments we retire. Every day is the same. We each get the same that take my breath away; by reveling in the smiles and amount of time; it never changes. silliness that take over my home; by cherishing the It is easy to look at our day and see all the things we love that I both give and receive; and by finding God’s did not get done. It is easy to measure our day by our glory in both the good I encounter and the difficulties I failures and shortcomings. But maybe there is a better endure. I know that by spending the time I am blessed way to measure what a day truly is. with in this manner that I am sure to take advantage of Instead of measuring the day by the number of hours, every moment with my family, with my friends, and with minutes, or seconds we have, we should measure the day my Savior. That sounds like a more productive way to by the number of times we smiled, laughed, and rejoiced. measure my day. Instead of measuring the day from sun up to sun down, we could measure the day by how often we uplifted those who were feeling down. Instead of measuring the © MICHELLE FRITZ is a daughter of God, a cradle Catholic, a devoted day from the time we rise to the time we retire, we can wife of 20+ years to her amazing husband Mike, eclectic homeschooling measure the day by the number of times we lift our mother to eleven wonderful children. She has experienced the loss of hands to the heavens to thank God for His gifts. thirteen babies in her call to be open to life, but knows that God is always Our daily list of things to do should include more loving and always gracious. She and her husband know that they have an than just the chores and the mundane aspects of life. I army of Saints already in heaven! They try to show their faith in everything propose that our to-do lists include more important daily they do and hope that all who come to know their family, also come goals—finding God in the beauty around us, making our to know the Lord. Reprinted with permission from Catholic Sistas (www. children smile, doing something nice for someone else, CatholicSistas.com).

12 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 RADIOACTIVE SPIDER BITE By Joe Philip

grew up dreaming about being a superhero. Everything that of mystery, and the middle is where the happened to me was filtered by this belief. I was a mildly mystery builds. However, my obsession Iathletic kid, an avid reader, and a dreamer. Adding to that, I with control, especially when it came to was shy, quiet, and unsure of where I fit in in social situations. dealing with suffering, became opposed to It made sense that the narrative I embraced helped me to cope the work of Jesus on the Cross. I wanted with the distance between the guy I was and the one I wanted to to constantly know the plan. But the Son be. It allowed me to hope that by hard work, passive-aggressive of God who willed to enter into the “messy determination, and an eventual radioactive spider bite (be middle” of human life, wanted to teach me how to live in the patient, Joe, be patient), I could become someone who would do present moment, even when there is suffering and silence. something awesome in the world. But will everything work out in the “final chapter?” That is As I got older, and life continued to happen, the narrative, ultimately how we judge all stories, right? As my life moved forward, the way I understood the story I was living in, changed. Between so did the part of the story where I desperately needed God’s help. periods of confusion and moments of clarity, there was the gradual See, apart from God, there is a lot of pressure and disappointment awareness that my story was not merely something I made up as in trying to get the “happily ever after.” However, when we place our I went along, but that it was authored by a God who knows what faith in the Father, encounter the love of the Son, we receive the He is doing, even with a character as ridiculous as mine. As that supernatural gift of hope. God, who is at work reclaiming our past awareness grew, I was suddenly aware of my “origins.” A lot of and renewing our present, sends His Holy Spirit to see the work He childhood wounds—those things that I told myself would get better has begun to completion. And His work is always good. over time—began to painfully resurface. When those wounds first Our narratives always come with the same problems; they happened, I processed them by my narrative and I could not see fall apart until we become totally His. The -solution is simple— how deeply they affected me. surrender. Give back to God authority over dreams, suffering, Early emotional, psychological, and spiritual trauma lingered silence, work, marriage and children. That is what authority means, and, without being aware of it, we all can live out of those wounds. after all—author’s rites. And the joy is that we do not have to wait We react and respond to present things based on unattended for the last chapter to starting experiencing the happy ending! injuries from our past. Narratives come and go as we grow, but So be the hero, but do not wait a page longer for that radioactive without healing, our story, my story, was not merely built on earlier spider bite! Let us surrender our story to his Authorship and chapters of my life, but was bound to them. encounter the awesome God Who is ready to write straight with our As I became more aware of God the Father, His heart of love crooked lines! for me demanded that I revisit my origins. He wanted to meet me again on those pages of pain and give Him permission to begin the process of healing and forgiveness. It took years and it is something that continues even now, but I now have what no JOE PHILIP is a theology teacher and retreat coordinator for Powers Catholic High personal narrative could give me: I have real peace with the early School in Flint, Michigan. He holds his M.A. from Franciscan University of Steubenville, parts of my life. Ohio. Philip serves as host of the upcoming SHALOM WORLD television original series, And what about the “messy-middle?” This is the point of every SEEKERS. He and his wife, Tara, travel and share their love for Jesus and the Church by story where the characters may come to terms with how they got leading and speaking at retreats. They are happy parents to two young children, a girl here, but they have no idea where “here” is. A good story is full and a boy. Follow Joe on Twitter @joephilip101. THE MASS AND THE FOUR MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS OF CHILDHOOD By Dr. Michael P. Foley

ne of the questions of the old Baltimore own concrete lives as human beings. How exactly do Catechism is, "What are the purposes for which these four things relate to our psychological, emotional, Othe Mass is offered?" The answer given was and spiritual welfare? fourfold: One way to approach this question is to consider ◗ First, to adore God as our Creator and Lord. the four most important things that we learn to say as ◗ Second, to thank God for His many favors. children: "I love you," "Thank you," "Please," and "I’m ◗ Third, to ask God to bestow His blessings on all men. sorry." These four simple sayings are not only capable ◗ Fourth, to satisfy the justice of God for the sins of directing both young and old onto the path toward committed against Him.1 human happiness; they also provide a useful analogy for Adoration, thanksgiving, petition, and satisfaction— what happens at every Sacrifice of the Mass. mention of these four ends found their way into many an old missal and are still a familiar feature of any LESSONS FOR LIFE traditional catechesis on the Mass. What is often The tragedy of language east of Eden is that a vehicle overlooked, however, is the relation of these ends to our originally designed for accurately labeling reality (as we

14 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 see with Adam and the beasts) has more often than not difficult but crucial breakthrough into unflattering and become a means of manipulating or obscuring reality. unglossed self-knowledge, mustering the courage to Saying "I love you," "thank you," "please," and "I’m acknowledge his faults and the resolve to redress them. sorry" can all be acts of enormous disingenuousness By contrast, a person who has not been brought and even exploitation, yet I take it as practically self- up on these four dictums and the dispositions behind evident that when every decent parent imparts these them has been done a grave injustice, for he was either words to his child, it is not to equip him with tools of discouraged from overcoming his selfishness or, what manipulation. ends up being the same thing, from understanding the Though we speak of the importance of teaching our reality of the human condition. children to "say" please and thank you, our ultimate goal is really to have them say these things and mean them. THE FOUR ENDS OF THE MASS When a mother makes her son apologize to his sister Interestingly, this fourfold path to authentic human for pulling her hair, she is usually not content with an flourishing, as it were, bears a remarkable similarity to icy "sorry" and a defiant, unrepentant glare. Clearly her the traditional theology of the Mass. Specifically, saying objective is to make the boy understand that what he "I love you" at home is analogous to the act of adoration did was wrong so that he may feel genuine regret for his that takes place in the Mass, "thank you" to thanksgiving, action and seek to correct the injustice, not simply to "please" to petition, and "I’m sorry" to satisfaction. utter a particular sequence of verbal sounds. And this is When Our Lord offered Himself on the Cross as a true for the other three things she instructs her children living sacrifice, that sacrifice included an infinite act to "say" as well. of adoration of his Father, of thanksgiving to Him, of Implicit, then, in the objective to raise children who petition or impetration on our behalf, and of satisfaction say "I love you," "thank you," "please," and "I’m sorry" (also known as propitiation or expiation) for the sins of is something more than a trivial habit of politeness, mankind. Those four components of this perfect act of a meaningless conformity or capitulation to social worship, in turn, are re-presenced by Christ through the convention. Somehow, the aim is to form a young mind agency of His priest at every Mass. And we the faithful into the kind of person who is loving, grateful, deferential, and, when necessary, contritely determined to make amends. Perhaps this is because such qualities are not THE MOST UNGRATEFUL only choices worthy in themselves, but they also lead to the acquisition of other virtues. MAN OF ALL IS THE MAN Someone who knows the importance of repentance, for example, also knows the importance of offering WHO HAS FORGOTTEN A forgiveness (which is no small thing); and someone BENEFIT . . . THERE IS NO who is truly grateful to one is more easily inclined to be generous to another. Certainly, one of the reasons POSSIBILITY OF A MAN’S why believer and nonbeliever alike find the unforgiving EVER BECOMING GRATEFUL servant in the parable of that name so reprehensible is that he grossly violates both of these principles of IF HE HAS LOST ALL common sense. Behind these simple expressions, then, lies a sound MEMORY. moral anthropology, a broad outline of the good life. Ideally speaking, a person who is capable of saying "I participate in the Mass in order to partake of and be love you" and meaning it is capable of commitment, enriched by these ends. Our own acts of devotion are, devotion, and self-sacrifice. A person who is capable of to be sure, not identical to Our Lord’s. Christ’s expiation, saying "thank you" and meaning it recognizes, as we will for example, did not include "I’m sorry" in the way that see, the unmerited gift of his existence and his debt to a ours must, for He had nothing to be sorry about. But our broader world he did not create. meager attempt to make good on our failings in an act A person who is capable of saying "please" and of expiation is made efficacious by the infinite liberality meaning it confesses his dependence on a reality of our crucified and risen God, and hence the bond outside himself and rejects the principle that might between the two is profound. makes right, transcending the debilitating egoism that would leave him, to paraphrase Sir Walter Scott, a vile THE FOUR STIRRINGS wretch concentered all in self. And finally, a person One reason why this analogy is significant, then, is who is capable of saying "I’m sorry" (or for more minor that it indicates that the Sacrifice of the Cross—and by offenses, "excuse me") and meaning it makes the extension that of the Altar—contributes powerfully to the

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 15 supernatural perfection of our natural potential for the over lower on the one hand, and then to transcend even good as well as to the restoration of our nature after its them on the other. fall from perfection. This is particularly obvious in the collects of the As a further demonstration of this, we need only Tridentine Missal for the Sundays after Pentecost, the consider man’s basic emotional range in light of the season of the liturgical year corresponding to the era soul’s four "stirrings" (perturbationes): joy, desire, fear, of the Church. The collects reflect a recurring focus on and sorrow. This useful taxonomy was employed by retooling and heightening the desire of the faithful. Cicero, who himself borrowed it from the Stoics, and In addition to asking for a granting of our wishes, for was to be later picked up by Christian thinkers like example, they ask for a change in what it is we wish for: Saint Augustine. The four emotions Cicero cites bear "make us love what You command" (Thirteenth Sunday), an interesting relationship to the four sayings we have "graft in our hearts the love of Your name" (Sixth), "make discussed and the four ends of Mass—not that they us ask for things that please You" (Ninth), etc. And once align neatly with each other in the same way but that our desires have been converted or turned to these much truly good acts of adoration, thanksgiving, petition, and greater goods, the Church goes on to assert that God contrite restitution bring to perfection our most basic will surpass even these and give us, as it is said in the instincts of delight, appetite, fear, and sorrow. Eleventh Sunday collect, what "our prayer does not even dare to ask for." This entire theology of desire, petition, APPETITE and transcendence is perhaps no more beautifully or On the natural level, for example, raw personal desire is succinctly expressed than in the collect for the Fifth humanized and sublimated by the simple and sincere Sunday after Pentecost: act of saying "please." Rather than grabbing what we O God, who hast prepared for them that love Thee want, we recognize a boundary of ownership and humbly such good things as pass understanding: pour into our request that that boundary be redrawn, and in so doing hearts such love towards Thee, that we, loving Thee in we relinquish the brutality of coercion for the gentility of all things and above all things, may obtain Thy promises courtesy. Supplication at its best, then, is a sublimation which exceed all that we can desire. of desire, not in the bastardized Freudian sense of It would require an additional essay to unfold the suppressing libido but in the original sense of making collect’s nuanced presuppositions regarding the human desire sublime or lofty. mind’s “telos” and its relation to the created order and It is this sense of sublimation that finds its highest its Creator; suffice it to say that the "please" of human expression in the Mass, where personal desire is longing is being transposed here to an entirely new level. perfected supernaturally in the ultimately altruistic petition we make therein not just for ourselves but, as the FEAR AND SORROW Baltimore Catechism reminds us, for all people. How far Fear and sorrow, on the other hand, are both accounted this is from the gussied-up materialism of "the prayer of for in the act of apologizing and making amends, though Jabez" fad, in which Christians are encouraged to pray for only if those acts are genuine. An imperfect apology the trinkets of this life as if they had no eternal longings stems solely from a motive of fear: I am apologizing to at all. The Mass, by contrast, is designed both to expand you not because I am truly sorry but because I am afraid and reorder our desires so that higher goods take priority of what you will do to me if I do not apologize. Perfect apology, by contrast, is concomitant with the emotion of of human interdependence was “pietas,” that noble sorrow: I see that I have hurt you in some way and I in devotion to one’s family, one’s country and, ultimately, turn am truly saddened by this fact. one’s God. This was a "debt" one was happy to have, for But a perfect apology also involves fear, not the fear it rested on a superfluity of goods one had undeservedly of reprisal as in the previous case but the fear of being received. The act of remembering these benefits, in turn, alienated from a loved one. Saint Thomas distinguishes was a source of gladsome gratitude. In the words of two kinds of fear: servile fear, like that of a slave afraid Seneca: of being punished by his master; and a noble or filial The most ungrateful man of all is the man who has fear, like that of a husband afraid of doing something to forgotten a benefit . . . there is no possibility of a man’s his wife for fear that she will lose respect for him, not for ever becoming grateful if he has lost all memory. fear that she will beat him for what he has done. While Gratitude, therefore, is not only an important servile fear has its place in this life (it is even sufficient component of one’s moral character, it is a symptom of for making an act of contrition, albeit an imperfect one), one’s hold on reality, that is, of one’s ability to remember it is clearly inferior to that filial fear which is motivated by accurately the real benefits one has received from real a love higher than mere self-preservation. beneficiaries and to react to these realities accordingly. And so it is with propitiation in divine worship, And needless to say, all of this bears poignantly on which presupposes a sorrow for the injustices we have giving thanks to God in the Mass, that supreme, divinely- committed and a fear that we offended the God whom initiated act of “anamnesis,” of remembering and thus we love and who has done so much for us. True, the fear re-presenting the greatest good ever given in human involved may sometimes be merely that of going to Hell, history. No wonder that Saint Aquinas saw gratitude as that presentiment that if I sleep in on Sunday instead a virtue rooted in love, one that is not unreasonably of going to Mass I am committing a mortal sin; and that without limit. And how appropriate and how beautiful it is fear, base though it may be, may succeed in getting me that the last words of the Mass, in both the old rite and to Mass and even opening me up to the graces that can the new, are simply, "Thanks be to God." be obtained there. But as Saint Augustine once wryly observed, "people who are afraid of sinning because of CONCLUSION Hell are afraid, not of sinning, but of burning." Just as Our comparison between the four ends of the Mass and the emotionally mature man is motivated by noble rather the four great things we learn as children also gives than servile fear, so too is the spiritually mature man one final insight into the importance of the Eucharistic more afraid of the intrinsic destructiveness of sin and the sacrifice. To think of Mass "attendance" as a legalistic effect that it has on his close friendship with his Maker burden imposed on us by the Church is as impoverishing than of the extrinsic judgment awaiting him at the end of as thinking of manners as mere extensions of parental his life. power and caprice. Though by no means sufficient, manners are nevertheless instrumental in orienting us DELIGHT to the created order, and when they are appropriated Finally, the stirring of joy accompanies the genuine properly, they help actuate our full potential as human acts of saying "I love you" and "thank you." True, love beings. Similarly, the adoration, thanksgiving, petitions, is not always accompanied by the elation of gladness, and satisfaction we make at Mass orient us to the as often love’s commitments bring with it sorrow and Creator of our nature, actuating not simply our native hardship. Nevertheless, in an odd sort of way even love’s potential, but our capacity to participate in the very pain is better than love’s absence (assuming that we Godhead itself. are speaking of well-ordered and not concupiscible To be able to say "I’m sorry," "I love you," "please," love), and it is only through love that genuine joy is ever and "thank you" to our Heavenly Father through the experienced. mediation of His Son and under the guidance of His The same is true for gratitude, though this is not as Spirit is not only a unique privilege for a lowly creature; it easy for us to recognize as it used to be. For thinkers is a steadily transformative act. And to that we can only like Immanuel Kant, having to say thank you is more say, “Deo gratias.” an occasion of sorrow than of joy, for by his reckoning, gratitude betokens indebtedness, and indebtedness is a threat to personal autonomy, the bedrock of Kantian © DR. MICHAEL P. FOLEY is Associate Professor of Patristics in the Great philosophy and modern liberal democracy to boot. Texts Program at Baylor University. He is the author of “Why Do Catholics Yet as Father Paul McNellis, S.J., has pointed out, Eat Fish on Friday?: The Catholic Origins of Just About Everything” and such a legalistic mindset ignores the liberating effect “Wedding Rites: The Complete Guide to Traditional Weddings.” He is the that extensive human ties have on the individual. For editor of the new edition of Saint Augustine's “Confessions.” Originally the ancients, the proper response to the wickerwork printed in “Lay Witness,” April 2007. Reprinted with permission.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 17 EATING By Julie Martin BREAKFAST

his past summer I was incredibly blessed to spend every major intersection in Houston. three months in Houston, Texas. Houston is unlike The ones that we try to speed through the traffic light T any other city I have seen before. It is huge—in fact, so we do not have to stop in front of them. the city of Houston itself is bigger than the entire state The ones that we like to ignore as we look down at of Rhode Island where I grew up! Houston is filled with our phones and wrap ourselves in our own little world. beautiful buildings, parks, and of course, WONDERFUL In spending my time in Houston, God blessed me with food! the opportunity to get to know a wonderful man named But, in between those flashing lights and attractions, John. John stood at the corner near my work every single as I pull up to every major intersection, my heart is day. He is physically disabled and cannot walk well, so captured by the sheer desperation of the homeless of he sat at the corner with a sign that simply said, “Have a Houston. The ones that stand at the corner of just about heart.”

18 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 Every day when I drove by John, his head was “WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK hopelessly drooped down, exposing the skin disease that has manifested on his scalp. Car after car would LIKE? IT HAS THE HANDS pass him by as if he did not exist, as if he were just a TO HELP OTHERS. IT HAS distracting piece of trash on the sidewalk. One day I was able to go to his side of the THE FEET TO HASTEN TO intersection and talk to him. When I asked him his name, THE POOR AND NEEDY. IT his face perked up as he said, “My name is John.” If I had HAS EYES TO SEE MISERY to guess, no one had ever cared enough to even ask his name before. I asked him what he liked for breakfast as AND WANT. IT HAS THE the light turned green. EARS TO HEAR THE SIGHS When I came back to see him that next morning, his face—usually numb with despair—lit up with a smile AND SORROWS OF MEN. that I will never forget. As we sat and enjoyed his favorite THAT IS WHAT LOVE Whataburger breakfast tacos together, I got a glimpse of LOOKS LIKE.” what it must be like to share a meal with Jesus Himself. During that breakfast, I got to know John, share in SAINT AUGUSTINE his joys and sorrows, and we encouraged and prayed for each other. But I am not writing to talk about John. I But I bet you can afford to give them a smile! am writing to let you know that John has a story. So I bet you can even roll down the window, ask their does Diana. And Benny. And Rafie. And so does every name, wish them a great day, and maybe even say a homeless person you will come across as you go about prayer with them. your busy day today. Maybe you can provide a warm meal. You might say “They made bad choices, that’s why Or, maybe you really do have the ability to take them they’re there, they don’t deserve help.” Or maybe you in, or to connect them with someone who can give them do feel compassion, but you justify yourself passing by, a job. thinking, “There’s no way I could help them anyways.” Do not be afraid to take that first step. We all can and Consider this: What if that person begging for help at must do more to recognize the dignity of every person the side of the road was your brother or your sister? What we encounter. It will not be easy, but you will come to if that was your dearest sibling who you came across understand more and more these precious words of as you pulled up to the intersection? If you saw the Christ... "Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, TING BREAKFAST WITH JESUSwhen was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when closest person to you in that situation, would you not do was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or everything in your power to help them out? Would you naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we not do all you could to get them off the street and onto a saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ And the king better track—no matter what the circumstances were that will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one led them to that place? of the least of these who are members of my family, you The point is this: The men and women who beg for did it to me’" (Matthew 25: 34-40). money at the side of the road ARE our brothers and sisters. Their past choices or where they stand today is no © JULIE MARTIN is a disciple of Jesus Christ. She is an Accounting major reason for us to deny their dignity as human beings. and Italian minor at SMU in Dallas, Texas. She is currently obtaining a Maybe you are not in a position to offer them a place Certification in Health Care Ethics from the National Catholic Bioethics to stay. Center.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 19 Sometimes we would prefer that our lives be a different story than the one God seems to be writing. In our fragile existence it does not take much to turn a romance into a drama, or an adventure into a tragedy. At a glance, the story of Chiara Badano—an only child conceived after eleven years of marriage, who died at age eighteen after a bout with a painful form of bone cancer—looks like an empty tragedy, but not from the perspective of the Divine Author. Chiara seemed to have everything going for her as a teen. She had a loving, holy family and a rock solid faith that was nurtured by retreats and youth ministry programs. She was popular amongst her friends and was liked by boys. It is not hard to see why. She was beautiful. Chiara loved to hang out in coffee shops. She was great at tennis, swimming, and mountain climbing. Her outgoing personality and adventurous spirit made her dream of becoming a flight attendant. Chiara had a bright life ahead of her. One day while playing tennis, Chiara experienced excruciating pain in her shoulder. Shortly afterwards she was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma. She watched her bright future slip away. But it is here that the real story of her life begins—the story of heroic virtue. Chiara’s joy was explosive and it only increased with her suffering. After one very pain-filled night she said, “I suffered a lot, but my soul was singing.” Search online for pictures of her on her death bed. Her eyes look like pools reflecting the glory of heaven. One of her doctors remarked, “Through her smile, and through her eyes full of light, she showed us that death doesn’t exist; only life exists.” Cardinal Giovanni Saldarini heard of this amazing teen and visited her in the hospital. Awestruck, he said, “The light in your eyes is splendid. Where does it come from?” Chiara’s reply was simple: “I try to love Jesus as much as I can.” Chiara had a profound sense of redemptive suffering. She often repeated the phrase, “If this is what you want, Jesus, so do I.” Like any teenage girl, she loved her hair, but with each lock that fell out she would pray, “For you, Jesus.” She frequently refused morphine, saying, “I want to share as much as possible in His suffering on the cross.” BLESSED During one of her many hospital stays, Chiara took walks with CHIARA LUCE BADANO By Christopher Stefanick Baby Chiara with her parents

20 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 Chiara in death, dressed in a wedding gown. a depressed, drug-dependent girl, despite the pain of walking from the huge growth on her spine. When she was encouraged to stop and rest she said, “I’ll have time to rest later.” Ever thinking of others, she said, “I have nothing left, but I still have my heart, and with that I can always love.” Chiara requested to be buried in a wedding gown. As the end of her short life drew near she told her mother, “When you’re getting me ready, Mum, you have to keep saying to yourself, ‘Chiara Luce is now seeing Jesus.’” She died on October 7, 1990. Her parents and friends were with her. Her last words were: “Goodbye. Be happy because I’m happy.” Thanks to her local bishop, Chiara was declared a “Servant of God.” For anyone wondering if Chiara’s cause for canonization was only opened to comfort grieving parents and friends, God recently put his stamp of approval on her “DEAR FRIENDS, MAY NO story. A young boy in Italy was dying from meningitis. His organs were shutting down. There was no way to save his life. His parents learned ADVERSITY PARALYZE of Chiara’s story and sought her intercession. He was fully healed. A panel of doctors ruled that there was no medical explanation for YOU. BE AFRAID NEITHER this turn of events. On September 25, 2010, she became the first OF THE WORLD, NOR OF member of Generation X to be beatified! Reflecting on her pending death, Chiara said: “Previously I felt THE FUTURE, NOR OF … the most I could do was to let go. Instead, now I feel enfolded in a marvelous plan of God, which is slowly being unveiled to me.” The YOUR WEAKNESS. THE story of our lives with all its riveting twists and painful turns is written by an Author who loves us very much, and for Him, even death is only LORD HAS ALLOWED YOU a comma, not a period. The greatest protagonists in life’s story are the saints. They shared the eternal perspective of the Author. That is why TO LIVE IN THIS MOMENT not even the most profound pain could take away their hope. Here is to yet another teen saint! “Blessed Chiara Luce Badano, OF HISTORY SO THAT, BY pray for us!” YOUR FAITH, HIS NAME WILL CONTINUE TO RESOUND THROUGHOUT © CHRISTOPHER STEFANICK (www.RealLifeCatholic.com) is a sought-after speaker to THE WORLD.” Catholic audiences worldwide. He has authored or co-authored several books, including POPE EMERITUS BENEDICT XVI “Do I Have To Go?,” “Raising Pure Teens,” and “Absolute Relativism.” Stefanick is founder and president of Real Life Catholic, a non-profit organization dedicated to re-engaging a generation. He and his wife are parents to six children.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 21 A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR’S ARSENAL By Luciano Corbo

ike any athlete who hopes to master their skills and perform at their peak level on a consistent basis, the LSpiritual Warrior of Christ must also develop, hone, refine, and master the warrior skills they need in the spiritual field of battle. The Spiritual Warrior does not battle the seen or the physical, but the unseen, the powers of the dark, evil spirits, fallen angels, demons, devils, and satan himself. The battle is constant, relentless, and unending. The training is done in the field of battle during the heat of war. Each fallen Warrior of Christ becomes the foundation upon which the next Warrior shall climb on to, to scale the formidable walls of those that seek to destroy and corrupt the ultimate sacrifice of the Lord our God Jesus Christ. In my reading and studying of the Catholic faith, I have come across a number of spiritual weapons that are mentioned regularly. I am offering a list of those that I believe to be the most powerful. I am sure many of you can add others based on your own Christian experience.

HOLY ROSARY I find that reciting the Holy Rosary and invoking the powerful intercession of the Virgin Mother Mary to be one of the most potent weapons a Spiritual Warrior can have in their arsenal. Recited with humility and faithfulness, one can count on the intercession of Mother Mary. Just as Jesus, out of a sense of duty to His Mother, turned water into wine at the wedding feast in Cana, imagine what Jesus is capable of when His holy Mother intercedes on your behalf in the heat of battle in His name. You will not be let down. Have faith!

LITURGY OF THE HOURS Praying the Hours on a regular basis provides one with the discipline, spiritual direction, and courage one needs to enter into battle and defend the faith. Reading David’s Psalms, particularly those when he is desperate, surrounded by enemies and asks the Lord for help, provides one with a deep sense of peace and an immense sense of confidence all based on faith.

22 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 EUCHARISTIC ADORATION ACTS OF KINDNESS/ALMSGIVING Being in the presence of Lord allows one to mediate and Anytime one is able to personify the Word of God and be contemplate the living Word. What better way to be face-to- an example and lighthouse for the faith and the faithful, face and receive spiritual direction from the Lord Himself? one will win over souls away from evil and to the service of Eucharistic Adoration also provides one with a deep, restful Christ. peace in preparation for any upcoming spiritual battle. CONFESSION SCRIPTURAL AND MEDITATIVE READING/PRAYER As a human being and even as a Warrior of Christ, one Simple! It provides one with a reason for Spiritual Battle. can succumb to the temptations of the evil one and be If a Christian cannot live the Word of God on a daily basis weakened by the constant onslaught of the dark invisible because one is under attack, then the Word of God is armies of the enemy. A humble confession conducted in reason for me to defend my faith and make the ultimate humility is a Spiritual Weapon one uses to rid the self of sacrifice. It is the Word of God we live by and must defend. the darkness within and to continue the battle refreshed, It is the Word of God we preach and use to evangelize. The invigorated, and blessed. Word of God is itself a powerful weapon of defense and I believe that by arming oneself with these Spiritual conversion. Weapons, one can confidently, courageously, and faithfully enter the field of Spiritual battle and ultimately succeed in PRAYER TO SAINT MICHAEL THE ARCHANGEL defending the faith and winning over souls to Christ. The leader of the heavenly army of Angels is the defender of Heaven and a servant of the Lord our God. This prayer © LUCIANO CORBO holds a Master of Arts - Integrated Studies from invokes Saint Michael to intercede on your behalf and Athabasca University. His major interests are Culture, Work, Organizations Saint Michael and his Angels will stand at the front with and Leadership, within a context of Catholic Social Teaching Principles. He you to battle for the same cause. writes from Canada. Article originally appeared on www.NewEvangelizers. com.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 23

Last March, my father sent out an e-mail to his family marking an important date in his life. It was the anniversary of the day when, at thirty years old, he woke up paralyzed. Forty-eight years had passed. I was only eight years old, and the oldest of five children. I cannot CROSS remember my father standing upright and living a normal, pain-free life. From that fateful morning, life for him and my mom has been arduous. My siblings and I learned at a very young age to walk softly, step up and help out, and to pray hard for miracles. I have memories of us all kneeling around my parent’s bed reciting the Rosary and intently watching his legs to see if God would do a miracle. I can remember him holding the BEARERS Rosary as tears rolled down his cheeks, embracing the only hope that kept him going. As stories unfold of people wanting to take their own lives in some insane attempt to control how they die, I cannot help but wonder how selfish they are. I am not being heartless nor unsympathetic. I do not believe they have any idea of the beauty and dignity each life NEEDED possesses, even in pain and brokenness, and the value of their presence in the world. If anyone would have had cause to abruptly end his suffering, and the so-called By Barbara Lishko burden on his family, it would have been my father.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 25 Yet, our understanding as Catholic Christians is that every life, whether special, terminal, disadvantaged, or disabled in some way teaches humanity something. We need their heroic witness in the face of seemingly senseless suffering. Our hearts are compelled (or should be) to look outside of ourselves and reach out, assist, and pray for them. We can draw strength from their personal fortitude and resilience in difficulty. We are encouraged to go forward in our own struggles, to put trials in perspective, and to persevere even in the darkest of nights. I cannot imagine what our lives would have been like without my father’s audacious influence. I cannot fathom the depth of self-sacrifice my mother has freely given over the past forty-eight years. As husband and wife, father and mother, they have showed their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren what sacrificial love looks like. They did not give excuses why their marriage should have ended years ago and have continued keeping their vows in the harsh reality that love demands. Married love requires total self-giving for the good of the other, until death parts them. No lame, selfish, “I-centered” excuses. Spouses grow in holiness in and through their married life. Their example of taking love to the limits for the good of the other and their children—no matter what—creates security, trust, and unity. It gives the rest of us a peek at God’s unconditional love for us. This is only ever possible In a cowardly, hedonistic world that has an aversion to with Christ Jesus and the understanding of the beauty anything that is not pleasurable or easy, it is impossible to of the Cross. They are not alone, and they know this to see anything of value in pain or suffering. This is the critical their very core. Complete reliance on Jesus has gotten my nature of our determined, joyful, courageous witness. Both parents through every moment of every day for fifty-seven personal suffering and challenges in marriage relationships years. Humanity needs this witness. really are beneficial when we work through them and press I am personally drawn to their example as the effects of on. The Gospel message is counter-cultural, but it is the my collision with a car left me with countless fractured ribs narrow road that leads to eternal lasting joy. and vertebrae. When I get overwhelmed by the persistent To those irreplaceable, suffering souls who have shown pain, the constant need to stop what I am doing and lay us the power of the Cross, inspired and encouraged us to down, it is easy to want to give up and give in to despair. go on, thank you. I need to be able to look to credible witnesses who have conquered the night, and fought the good fight. When I want to wallow in self, I can instead look beyond at their example (and many others) of sacrificial suffering teaching us all a lesson worth learning. “If you want to follow me, deny yourself, pick up your cross daily…” (Luke 9:23). Life is short and eternity is a very long time. © BARBARA LISHKO works full time as a Lay Catholic Marriage Minister. She So who inspires you if not God? Where do you want to and her husband Mark, an ordained Deacon, have been married for thirty- spend eternity? Believe it or not, your soul goes on, and five years and are blessed with five young adult children, whose lives grow maybe, just maybe, this Jesus might have something worth and expand through marriage and grandchildren. Through the inspiration listening to. Without Christ, I can see why people give up of her family, work in the Catholic Church and wacky life experiences her and end their so-called “senseless” suffering. Without the dream of writing was born. She is the recipient of the Diocese of Phoenix’s witness of strong, faithful, selfless marriages, I can see why Saint Terese of Lisieux award. Lishko blogs at pouredmyselfoutingift. couples give up and divorce. wordpress.com, and can be reached at [email protected].

26 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 This Christmas season, SHALOM WORLD presents a special original program, Into The Light.

Discover stories of Divine providence in the struggles and sacrifi ces of a community or ministry. Learn how they experience God with them in hardships and tragedies, creating a great impact on society, living out the Gospel truth.

Watch Into The Light in December 2015 Only on your SHALOM WORLD! www.ShalomWorld.org/live HOW MY HUSBAND HANDLED MY PAST By Katie Sciba ur wedding was a long way off. And it is how we respond to that self-disclosure that We were having one of those meaningful matters. Do we shut down with anger when painful Oconversations that lasted for hours; the kind that baggage is at our feet or do we help pick it up? Andrew changed our whole relationship—our dynamic, our regard has said a thousand times, “Everybody’s got somethin’.” for each other, and the very context of how we would work Is that not the truth? We are all broken somehow and as together in the years ahead. We were completely open and someone with sensitivities, some still tender, it is a relief to honest, baring our souls a little more than usual. know that my husband is a safe place for me to land; and I sat there and listened to Andrew pour out his heart; a I want to make myself the same for him. rare gift indeed from an introvert and I knew it. He told me Though conflicts and mistakes are inevitable and on about wounds and challenges, joys and blessings to such the horizon always, what gets us to the heavenly gates is a depth I had not heard from him before; we were closer how closely we imitate Jesus for our spouses. Even now simply because he chose to trust me. After diving into the just writing about it, I realize that night was the first time experience of his life, we sat in peaceful silence. I encountered Christ through Andrew; Christ who forgives, It was my turn. Or at least I felt like it was. then lets it go without holding a grudge; Christ who loves in He was not expecting me to tell him my deepest, a way that absorbs our shame, as Saint John Paul II put it. darkest secrets. He was not expecting anything at all. If Andrew and I love each other like this, then our Still, I felt compelled. The truth was I had a wound, too. sacrament becomes a haven—a shelter among life’s Something I shared with very few and, when I recalled it, storms, and our children raised here will have peace if we I hated myself. It was something painfully foolish from keep at it. a long time ago that I regretted and carried around for too It is a nice idea, I know. long. He needed to know. And maybe it feels a little out of reach. That is ok—for “I — need to tell you something,” I stammered. I did not just the two of us, it is out of reach; but equipped with know how I was going to say this. grace unique to the Sacrament of Marriage, offering mercy Seeing my hesitation, Andrew spoke before I could is possible. (I hardly ever remember to ask specifically for begin, “Wait.” He was so collected and patient. “Is what “the grace of our sacrament” when the thunder rolls under you’re about to tell me something that’s going on now? our roof, but it is there). Will it affect our marriage or our relationship right now?” Our conversation when we were engaged was defining I furrowed, “No…” What was he doing? for our relationship. We allowed ourselves to be open and Taking my hands, “Have you confessed it? I mean, if it then received the other carefully. It is our mutual role to be needed to be confessed?” he followed. the face of mercy to our spouses. We are called to forgive “Yes.” I was confused. repeated injuries because we all have habitual sins and Then with a strength and integrity I could not begin to vices; we are asked to put the whole of our sacrament fathom he said, “Then you don’t need to tell me. Forgive above ourselves as individuals; we have to cooperate to yourself. I love you.” see each other and our family succeed—and repeat. It And that was it. is daunting to think of making a huge overhaul in my No prodding for details. No skepticism or questioning behavior to last as long as we both shall live, so I am of my character. Pure mercy. Complete love. shooting for generous mercy one instance at a time and And he was right. Our scars, whether self-imposed or asking God, in His own mercy, to cover my shortcomings. brought on by others, are private and fragile pieces of ourselves to be shared only with those who will regard them as such; and chances are those precious few will not be influenced by them to the point of revulsion. That night, Andrew forgave me for something he did not even know about and still does not. It is not important, neither did it carry the weight I thought it would. © KATIE SCIBA is a speaker and three-time Catholic Press Award- That is not to say that we should conceal from winning columnist for the Diocese of Shreveport. As a theology major of our fiancés and spouses what we know is important Benedictine College, Sciba’s ministry focuses on inviting and encountering information; when preparing for marriage and within Christ in marriage and family. Her blog, The Catholic Wife(.net) is frequently Holy Matrimony itself, it is paramount to have full syndicated on Catholic news sites and she has made several guest disclosure of any and all details that might affect your appearances on Catholic radio. Sciba and her husband Andrew live in marital relationship, however painful (Canon Law, 1098). Shreveport, Louisiana, with their four children.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 29 MOTHERHOODTHE PROFOUND DIGNITY OF By James M. Littleton others are by far the most beautiful creatures in the world. There is nothing more beautiful than a “Everywhere the need exists Mmother. There has never been a beauty pageant for maternal sympathy and winner more beautiful than a pregnant woman. A pregnant help, and thus we are able woman glows with the grace of God. She is one with God. Her love has borne fruit with the life in her womb. She is to recapitulate in the one transformed into an other-worldly beauty. Anyone can see word motherliness that this. When I would see my wife when she was pregnant which we have developed I experienced an overwhelming drive to embrace her. as the characteristic I wanted to be one with that love she was exuding. A value of woman. Only, the mother is a lover, in the true sense of the word. Yes, she is a lover because the love that she gives is very costly to motherliness must be that her through the physical diffi culties of her pregnancies, which does not remain within through the pain of childbirth, through the mountain of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual self-giving. the narrow circle of blood To be a mother is to be a pourer, one who does not relations or of personal hold back but rather pours out all she has throughout friends; but in accordance her entire life, unto death, and into eternity. This is agape love, a supreme love of total self-giving. Through all the with the model of the Mother challenges of motherhood she owns a deep interior joy. of Mercy, it must have its root From the miraculous moment she becomes a mother, in universal divine love for all from the fi rst moment of conception (fertilization), when our Heavenly Father of Mercies breathes life into that new who are there, belabored and unrepeatable eternal person, she will never be the same. burdened.” She is now a mother. Think of a mother embracing or serving her children. Is there a more stirring sight in the SAINT TERESA BENEDICTA OF THE CROSS world? We need to create a culture that honors mothers. We are called to honor mothers who are old, wrinkled, perhaps forgotten in nursing homes; to honor mothers whose physical motherhood. It is profound. These mystical children perhaps did not seem to turn out as perfectly as mothers will fi nd in eternity that their love and their sorrow their dreams had hoped for. But nothing is lost with God. bore fruit in many spiritual children by whom they will be With God all things are possible. honored and spend their eternity with in heaven, because Elderly mothers: every wrinkle, gray hair, varicose vein, this contributed to their salvation. pain, and frailty you have is a purple-heart medal for which Let us fi nd ways to make every day “Mother’s Day,” you should beam with a holy pride. Mothers, mothers-to- though our prayers, deeds and words. Let us honor be, grandmothers … do you hear what I am saying? Do our mothers, for all mothers, and contribute our own you realize the grand dignity you have, the necessary awe- irreplaceable and necessary part in creating that culture inspiring sign that you are in the world? that profoundly honors mothers. When we succeed at And we cannot leave out those women who ache to be this many of our other pro-life issues will fade like a mist. mothers, who have not yet had this dream fulfi lled, or may Omnia vincit amor (Virgil), Love conquers all, especially the not be given the grace physically to be mothers. They too love of and for mothers! should be honored as mystical mothers. God honors the intention and the will. The ache of those women who wish to be mothers but cannot is an immense gift of sharing in the sorrows of Jesus in a redemptive way. Those aches © JAMES M. LITTLETON is happily married to Kathleen for thirty-two years, and sorrows, that pain that cannot be described in words and is the father of nineteen children, fourteen living on earth ages is a life-giving pain. It is in itself a real form of motherhood twenty-nine to nine, and fi ve living in heaven. Littleton is a hope-fi lled as motherhood is life-giving. The fruit of this redemptive and inspirational national speaker, author, evangelist, retreat master, co- pain is parceled out to other souls and participates in founder and co-director of Forming Faithful Families™ and One More our blessed Lord Jesus’s redemptive passion for their Baby for Jesus™, and host of Forming Faithful Families Radio and salvation. This mystical motherhood is not inferior to Television. Learn more at www.FormingFaithfulFamilies.com.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 31

REASONS WHY GIVING 6AWAY YOUR MONEY MAKES YOU PROSPEROUS By Father Dwight Longenecker

y Dad was a Christian businessman who tithed 15 percent of his income to the church. That is for the big trophy house. You do not really want a lake Mright. A whopping 15 percent. Before taxes. With house or beach house. You are happy to lease a car or a wife and five kids. drive an older car. You do not need all the toys and all He did so even when he had to re-mortgage his the unnecessary things. Consequently, as you live more business property and his business was on the skids. simply you have more money. At the age of fifty he and my brother sold up Second, when you give sacrificially you start to live on everything in Pennsylvania and put all their eggs into the edge a bit. Your attitude toward life changes. You are one basket—they moved to South Carolina and opened a not resting on your cash and securities, your investments men’s clothing store. Over the next ten years they began and savings as much (because you do not have any) and to be fairly prosperous. At that point my Dad gave even so your approach to life is more one of living by faith. more of his money to the Lord’s work. You are learning to do wave walking–trusting in God I am convinced that tithing brings prosperity. How and not in your riches. When you have this attitude to does it work? Six things begin to happen: life you are more able to take risks and the person who First, when you tithe, your attitude to you wealth takes risks usually profits from them in the end. You are changes. By giving sacrificially you achieve detachment. willing to take risks because you do not mind losing it The money and the stuff money buys does not matter to all because you are not putting your trust in that stuff you so much anymore. Giving sacrificially sets things in anyway. Get it? their right priority. Now, this is pretty cool because you are not only So what happens when you achieve detachment? You taking risks in your business and in your management of do not care about money and the stuff money buys as money, but you are also taking risks in your relationship much so you live more simply. You do not give two hoots with God and with others, and this is an exciting way

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 33 “When you give sacrifi cially you start to live on the edge a bit. Your attitude towards life changes. You are not resting on your cash and securities, your investments and savings as much, and so your approach to life is more one of living by faith.”

to live. It is also a prosperous way to live because risk to rest in Him, and this attitude changes your life for the takers usually accomplish more than those who play it better. safe. By now you will see that when I use the word Thirdly, when you break your love of money and you “prosperity” I am not talking only about having more live more simply you will probably start working harder. money in the bank. If you give sacrifi cially you might end You are starting to remember what it was like to be up with more money in the bank. Many people do, but hungry. When you are hungry you see new opportunities. more importantly, you end up with spiritual capital. You You make new connections. You are alert and alive have learned the spiritual lessons and you have learned and working at your peak and these things all lead to the secret of genuine happiness. prosperity. True prosperity is being able to live a happy, Fourthly, when you live by faith as a result of sacrifi cial contented, abundant and full life that is not dependent giving you meet other people who are doing the same. on the amount of money in your bank account. True These are the best people in life to associate with. They prosperity is prosperity of heart. It is knowing what is are successful, happy people. They are powerful, positive most important and knowing how to attain that and how people. They are optimistic people who are full of faith. to live within that great gift of contentment. These kind of people can move mountains. These people When I was a kid I had to memorize Bible verses from are stopped by nothing. They accomplish great things the King James Version. and you are part of their network and are moving and One of the best ones is: “Seek ye fi rst the kingdom of living with some of the most amazing and fulfi lled and God and his righteousness and all these things will be happy people in the world. added unto you” (Matthew 6:33) Fifth, when you give sacrifi cially you develop a new It was true then. It is still true today. dimension of gratitude in your life. You realize how blessed you are and that “gratitude attitude” affects every other part of your life. It brings about a new positive attitude. It grows optimism. It brings happiness and it also brings an even greater level of generosity. Sixth, giving sacrifi cially makes you happy. When you © FATHER DWIGHT LONGENECKER is a priest in the Diocese of Charleston, learn detachment through sacrifi cial giving you stop U.S.A. Follow his blog, browse his books, and be in touch at www. worrying so much. You learn to trust in God. You learn DwightLongenecker.com.

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36 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 e humans have a tendency to easily ignore the faults of relationships. Many times we are unable to sort it out or fi nd an those whom we love. The more we love someone, the less appropriate solution. It is an opportunity to identify whether we are Wwe fi nd faults with them. Our complaints against, negative sharing ‘pure’ love or ‘wounded’ love. comments about, false arguments and criticisms for others tend to be toward those for whom we have a little or no love. AN EASY WAY TO GET RID OF THE EVILS The more we love, the less complaints we seem to have Saint Augustine once said, “Evil is the privation of Good.” Though against another. It is a natural and spontaneous fl ow. Therefore, an this statement was said in an effort to explain the existence of evil, attractive personality demands a solid base on the effort to love his thought offers us some insight into bettering our relationships. the persons whom we interact with. A candle or a fl ashlight can spread light. But have you ever Throughout history, the word ‘love’ has been defi ned in many witnessed a fl ashlight spreading darkness? No. That is because ways. The essence of love often eludes descriptions except for darkness can only be found where there is an absence of light. those who love and who has been loved sincerely. Almost all of It’s not an entity in itself, but some condition that is formed in the human beings have experienced what the meaning of the word absence of something. Once light enters the scene, darkness has ‘love’ is; although we may not always fi nd it easy to explain. no role. It is consumed by the light. Likewise, a hole can never be removed, but it can only be fi lled. ‘LOVE’ IS MORE OF A VERB, THAN A NOUN The evils of human life can be sorted and ordered when we are But perhaps if we look at ‘love’ as a verb instead of a noun, we fi lled and lit with the love of Jesus Christ. A ‘taking away’ technique can get some clarifi cation. Here I refer to our very capacity to love, does not always work when fi ghting against the evils of human rather than love as a thing to be shared or increased. Love is more life. Jealousy, pride, arrogance, and more - these evils are the a capacity—just like the capacity to see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. consequences of the lack of Christ’s love in our hearts. As there is 20/20 vision and diminished vision, so we have less love and more love. Just as in vision, it is the ‘power’ that matters. NEAR THE FIRE, WE NATURALLY GET WARM A speck in our eye can cause hazy vision. Excessive wax in the ear To describe love may be diffi cult, but to know and feel the love of will affect our hearing. Likewise, managing tensed relationships has Christ is easy. Something near a fi re naturally gets warm. Thus, much to do with the ‘power’ to love. someone near God through prayer is fi lled with and warmed by with If we try to love our parents but avoid our spouse, or if we the love of God. So, there is a simple solution to be a more loving love our spouse but ignore our children, or if we side with a person - get more time to pray! cruel employer and are silent to suffering colleagues…we will We are people on a constant search for truth, for answers, feel powerlessness in our capacity to love. A person cannot and for love. We often search for ‘something’ as our answers. For love someone perfectly, when hating some others bitterly. This is example, we see money as the solution to our fi nancial crisis. because we are using a faulty faculty to achieve something great, We see healing as the solution to our sickness. Job or business just like using a broken vessel to draw water to the full. success as our only way to get rid of debts. Thus, many a times For example, imagine if you were given a glass of clear, pure we think ‘something’ as answers to our troubles. In this way, we water. It happens that we poured dirt into the glass. The purity of are in constant search and reach nowhere. There is a solution for the water has instantly diminished. If we try to give the polluted this trauma. The answer we seek should not be ‘something’, rather water to others to drink, would the distaste not be evident? ‘someone’ - the person of Jesus Christ. Think with faith and walk in Similarly, if we have a strain in one relationship in our lives, it will trust. Whatever be our problems, He has answers. naturally affect our other relationships. Even a strained relationship His love can heal us. If we are fi lled with the love that Jesus is more ‘wounded love’ than ‘hatred.’ gives and begin to love others from that foundation, pure love will There is a story of a patient telling his doctor, “Wherever I fl ow naturally in all our relationships. “God’s love has been poured touch, I feel pain.” The doctor conducted a full check-up and ran into our hearts, though the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:5). Let us pray all sorts of tests, but she could fi nd no problem with her patient. that we may always be fi lled to the brim with God’s love. The patient, however, continued to complain and kept repeating, “Wherever I touch, I feel pain!” At last the doctor discovered the problem—the patient had a wounded index fi nger! Though this story is a bit childish, it has a great message for our relationships. We fi nd it diffi cult to love someone who acted against JINTO MATHEW serves on the Editorial Council of "Shalom Tidings," and is a regular us or spoken evil of us. Many are not able to control themselves columnist for Shalom Media USA's bi-lingual newspaper, “Sunday Shalom.” He has an when demanding situations arise. Our actions and words are not MBA and Bachelor's Degrees in Theology and Philosophy. Mathew is author of several that loving always. Likewise, we have all sorts of struggles in our Indian-language books. He resides in Dallas, Texas, with his wife and young son.

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 37 THE LESSON OF ROTTING CABBAGE By Rich Maffeo

“While he is in the fl esh, man cannot help but have at least some cabbage . . . and the lettuce, tomatoes, and celery laying nearby. light sins. But do not despise these sins which we call "light": if Then I scrubbed the fruit and vegetable bin with bleach. you take them for light when you weigh them, tremble when you Like slowly rotting cabbage, sin—perhaps especially our count them. A number of light objects makes a great mass; a so-called venial sins—is never a private matter. If left alone, its number of drops fi lls a river; a number of grains makes a heap. stench will seep into and ruin every corner of our life, our families, What then is our hope? Above all, confession.” communities, and our nation. And there is not one person reading –Saint Augustine this who does not know that to be true. They know it at a visceral level learned from experience—often from repeated experience. s soon as I opened the refrigerator door I knew that We make a serious mistake to be casual about rooting sin from something was wrong. Rotten, actually. But I was already our lives. We make a serious—deadly—mistake when we tacitly Alate for work, so I grabbed my lunch and darted out the front ignore the commandment of God to be holy according to His door. My wife was out of town visiting family, so I planned to take standards, and not according to the standards of the culture. care of the rotted whatever-it-was when I returned later that night. Like the law of gravity, the law of sowing and reaping is That was my fi rst mistake inescapable: Whatever we sow, we reap. If we sow to the fl esh, My inbox at work grew inches with each passing hour. I did not we reap corruption. If we sow to the spirit, we reap eternal life leave the offi ce until after dark and the thought of starting dinner (Galatians 6:7-8). when I arrived home left me weak-kneed. I decided to grab dinner It does not get any simpler. Or clearer. at a nearby restaurant. Or more diffi cult. By the time I arrived home, cleaning the refrigerator was the last thing on my mind. I plopped in front of the television and started to unwind from the day. An hour later I headed for the shower and the © RICHARD MAFFEO was born into a Jewish home. Twenty-two years later, he bed. I would take care of the fridge in the morning. discovered Jesus to be his Messiah. During the next thirty-three years, he and his wife, Another mistake Nancy, worshiped in evangelical Protestant churches where he learned what it means The next morning when I opened the refrigerator door, the to lean on Jesus and to listen for His voice. He also earned his baccalaureate and pungent stench of rotted cabbage fi lled every corner of the house. seminary degrees from Assemblies of God schools. Then, in 2005, after discerning I slammed the door shut and glanced at my watch. I would be late Catholic teaching in the light of the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit led Maffeo into the for work if I did not leave soon. I grabbed an apple and rushed out Catholic Church. He continues to mature in his passion for Christ, the Sacraments, of the house. The fridge would have to wait. prayer, and Scripture. Maffeo is a Fourth Degree Knight, has written three books, When I returned from work ten hours later, the odor from the authors a blog (www.TheContemplativeCatholicConvert.blogspot.com), and serves fridge had settled over the house. It left me no choice. I tossed the Christ in his parish, St. Benedict’s Catholic Church in Duluth, Georgia.

38 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 What do you do during the Christmas season? Shop for gifts? Decorate a tree? Make snow angels? Or maybe you do something diff erent? Something counter-cultural?

Maybe you visit a homeless shelter? Pray before an abortion mill? Go caroling at the local nursing home? Share gifts with a poor neighbor? Volunteer your time to the needy? If you or your family spend Christmas in a way close to the heart of Jesus, then we want to hear from you!

SHALOM WORLD wants to feature your and your family’s story on our channel on our newest program, “Reason for the Season”! Contact us at [email protected] or by calling our Program Department at (215) 366-3031 to fi nd out more.

JOIN US for the12TH ANNUAL Saturday, January 23, 2016

WALK CIVIC CENTER PLAZA San Francisco

for 11:00 AM Info Faire LIFE WEST COAST 12:30 PM Rally Because Women Deserve Better than Abortion.®

Rally starts at Civic Center Plaza and will proceeding down Market Street (2 miles)

BART, public transit and ample parking available.

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© TA Photographic WalkForLife WC.com IFMARRIES MY CHILD YOURS By Em Erickson f my child marries yours... invisible owie kissed, each story read. I just want you to know that I am praying for you. You do not know how much it means to me that you IWhen I am awake at night—feeding babies, burping give your children everything you have every single day... babies, giving Tylenol to a feverish toddler, covering up even on days when it is not much at all. Because your chilly toes, tucking green monkeys under little arms—I child will fall asleep next to mine for fi fty-some years. think of you. Because chances are, you are awake too, Your child will be the one holding my child's hand when doing the same sorts of things. Taking care of tiny children our fi rst grandchild is born. And when they face the that I already love because they will someday hold the darkest days of their lives, it will be your child and mine, hearts that are beating against my chest tonight. facing into the struggle together. I am praying that you will stand fi rm against the I am pretty sure that our longest days—the ones pressures to overcommit and hyper-schedule, that you that are brim-full with hair-pulling moments, impossible will shut out the voices that tell you that you are not messes, and toddler meltdowns—those are the days doing enough or that your kids are not doing enough. that we are fashioning hearts. And someday, one of the I am praying that you will have the wisdom to know hearts that I am helping create will crash into one of when to pick that crying baby up out of her crib and when your love-crafted hearts, and what spills out as a result to just sit outside her door, your fi ngertips pressed to the of that jolt...it is kind of up to us. I promise to tend to wood, willing her to feel your love and comfort and just these hearts with utmost care, to plant in them humility fi nally fall asleep. and peace and selfl essness...especially selfl essness. I am praying that you will take those children to I promise to plant Jesus seeds in these hearts every church...that the mothers and fathers of our future chance that I get. And I promise to keep praying for you. grandchildren will grow up knowing what it means to I am praying that you will hug your boy tight when he worship, even when that means missing out-of-town is sad or lonely or scared. Because someday, my girl—all basketball tournaments and marathon sleepovers. grown beautiful with babies of her own—will be sad or I am praying that your love for and commitment to lonely or scared. And he will need to know how to hold your spouse will swell with each year you are together, her. Teach him. that you will grow to love the legacy you are creating just And let your daughters hear you speak righteous as much as you adore the person that you are creating it words that bring life and hope. Because someday, my with. sons will be worn and weary, and the words that you I am praying that you take lots of pictures so that I are placing in your daughters' minds today just might can see where our grandchildren got their sticky-out ears become the balm to my sons' souls. and their mischievous grins. I am doing my best to do the same. And sometimes... I am praying that Jesus will give you just enough much of the time...I fail. Pray for me too. strength each day to keep you from losing it but not so Someday we will sit on opposite sides of the aisle... much that you forget Who that strength comes from. all fancy and with gobs of tissues tucked into our fi sts. I am praying that we will be friends. We will watch our silly, sticky, sweet babies somehow Will you pray those things for me too? transform into brides and grooms and make the same I do not really pray for your child. Maybe I should. promises to one another that we ourselves have kept... My husband does that, and I think it is wonderful. But against all odds and only by His grace. And we will watch chances are, your child is just fi ne. And chances are, these children create families of their own with the a lot of the time, you are not. Chances are, if you are ingredients we have given them. The ingredients we are anything like me, you are very tired. And some days, you slipping into their souls today. get so discouraged. Sometimes, your temper erupts, your But until then, I am sitting here in the dark with selfi shness wins, and your smile is fake. Sometimes you babies in my arms. forget to change the baby's diaper, forget to spend time And I am praying for you. being silly with your toddler, and forget to really see your spouse. So it is you I am praying for right now, in the still darkness, with this baby fi st pressed up under my chin and this sweet, sleepy breath on my ear. May you feel these prayers when you need them the most. We are in this together, you and I. We are building something beautiful with each onesie folded, each © EM ERICKSON (www.TeachMeToBraid.blogspot.com). JOIN OUR FAMILY AS WE LET THE LORD SET OUR HEARTS ON FIRE!

When the Holy Spirit came to the Disciples on Pentecost, the fi re that ignited their faith inspired them to invite everyone into a new community held together by the love of God. That same Spirit is still at work in the Church, creating community in our world today.

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Question: attempting to strip their very act of love from its God- I have a question about Catholic teaching and given potential to create new life. The Church holds fast conception that I’ve been wondering about. I often that to do so is to turn the marital act into something read about married Catholics who don’t use artifi cial less than God created it for, and thus hurts married life. birth control saying that God will decide how many The spouses’ union achieves the twofold end of children they will have and when they will have them. marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and Taking this premise that God is the ultimate authority the transmission of life. These two meanings or values when it comes to married, non-birth control using of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couples conceiving children, how does the Church couple’s spiritual life and compromising the goods of reconcile this teaching with the biological reality that marriage and the future of the family (Catechism of the conception can take place in any less sanctifi ed or Catholic Church, 2363). loving sexual encounter?

Answer: HOW DO WE DETERMINE GOD’S WILL? First of all, I appreciate that you said, “The biological Oftentimes when we Catholics are asked why we do not reality [is] that conception can take place in any…sexual use contraception, we say that it is because we want God encounter.” Translation: Sex makes babies! to be in charge of how many kids we have and when we It may seem obvious, but the fact is that the Church’s will have them. While this answer is 100 percent correct teaching with regards to marriage and the marital act is and truly gets right to the heart of the matter, I think that just about the last remaining place where you will hear when it is stated so plainly it can sound to some as if our this “biological reality” proclaimed today. Elsewhere in method of determining God’s will for our family is to just our culture we are told that sex can be merely used for close our eyes and see how many babies pop out. pleasure, or simply to unite two people in love while In reality, we can come to know God’s will (for any

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 43 facet of our life) through prayer, discernment, and AMAZING GRACE through the use of our God-given faculty of reason. Part The beauty and the mystery of God’s grace is that He of the beauty of having a relationship with the Living God can take even something He did not will—like a sinful is that we do not have to simply “wait and see;” we can act—and use it to bring about great good. Just look at the actually talk to God and ask Him to reveal His will to us! Cross! One very practical way to discover God’s will for us If you get nothing else from this article, hear this: in a general sense is to consult what He has revealed to We cannot outsmart God. We cannot overwhelm us in Scripture and in the Teaching of His Church. With God. He knows our decisions, our choices—good and regards to birth control, Scripture and the Church have bad—before we even make them. From the beginning revealed that God’s will can never be for it because the of time, He knew and He planned each and every act of contraception imposes something on the married soul that would ever come into existence. No life is a act to seek to remove its life-giving potential. mistake. No life is unplanned. Each person—no matter Now, with regards to the marital act itself, the Church the circumstances of her or his conception—is willed by teaches, first of all, that it is created for marriage— God and loved by God. God wants you here, no matter the indissoluble life-long union of one man and one how you came to be here. woman. The Church has always taught that sex, marriage, In short, the answer to your question is somewhere in and babies go hand in hand—not because some pope the middle of God’s grace and earnestly seeking God’s made it up hundreds of years ago, but because that is will for your life. I think the Psalmist’s answer to this the way God designed it! question is much more eloquent and meaningful than So in a sense, the Church does not have to my attempt: “reconcile” anything here, really. It is the rest of us that need to reconcile ourselves with God’s design for sex and (Psalm 139) marriage! God created sex for marriage and, by it, gave LORD, you have probed me, you know me: man and woman the ability to participate in His creative you know when I sit and stand; power. What an incredible gift! you understand my thoughts from afar. If we decide that we want to pretend that sex is for You sift through my travels and my rest; other things, that is our choice, but it will not change With all my ways you are familiar. God’s design for sex. The “biological reality” will still run Even before a word is on my tongue, its course, and conception can still occur, because sex LORD, you know it all. and babies—by God’s design— belong together. Behind and before you encircle me and rest your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, far too lofty for me to reach. Where can I go from your spirit? From your presence, where can I flee? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there; if I lie down in Sheol, there you are. If I take the wings of dawn and dwell beyond the sea, Even there your hand guides me, your right hand holds me fast.

God is in control! And we are never too far from His grace.

© MARY PEARSON is the creator of www.YoungAndCatholic.net. She hods a Master’s degree in Biblical Theology from John Paul the Great Catholic University, where she also earned her Bachelor’s degree in Communications Media, with an emphasis on the New Evangelization. Pearson lives in Dallas, Texas, with her husband and their two children.

44 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 MEDIA SCAN

BOOK GOD OR NOTHING: A CONVERSATION ON FAITH by Cardinal Robert Sarah and Nicholas Diat Robert Cardinal Sarah grew up in XT3 ADVENT CALENDAR Guinea, West Africa. Inspired by the The Xt3 Advent Calendar is an online missionary priests who made great Catholic resource for youth groups, sacrifices to bring the Faith to their parishes, schools, and for your own remote village, his parents became personal Advent journey. First launched Catholics. After studying around the six years ago as an online resource, this world, at the age of thirty-four, he year's Xt3 Advent Calendar has even became the youngest Bishop in the more exciting content than ever before Catholic Church when John Paul II including podcasts, Advent reflections, appointed him the Archbishop of video animations, and special messages Conakry, Guinea, in 1979. from religious and lay presenters. In 2010 Pope Benedict XVI named The Calendar is also available as a him Cardinal and appointed him free App for iPhone, iPad and Android Prefect of the Pontifical Council devices. Cor Unum. Pope Francis made him View the Calendar online at: www.xt3. Prefect of the Congregation for Divine com/advent or download it for free on Worship and the Discipline of the the iPhone, iPad, and Android devices. Sacraments in 2014. In this fascinating autobiographical interview, one of the most prominent and outspoken Catholic Cardinals gives witness to his Christian faith and comments on many current controversial issues. The mission of the Church, the joy of the gospel, the heresy of activism, and the definition of marriage are among the topics he discusses with wisdom and eloquence. To order, visit www.ignatius.com

MUSIC: LUKE SPEHAR Luke Spehar Music http://www.lukespehar.com/ Luke grew up in a small rural community north of Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota, and found himself inspired by the simple, natural beauty of the outdoors. Drawing from these and other common human experiences like love, suffering, failures, and triumphs, Luke began writing songs at the age of 16 and composed all of the music on his debut album, "Be still," before he graduated high school. Following University, Luke felt drawn to focus his energy towards music and began recording and then performing around the country. Since then, he has performed for audiences of all ages, from concerts to retreats to memorials; in churches, clubs, and university auditoriums; for youth groups, colleges and for U.S. military events. Spehar released his much- anticipated third album, “All is Gift,” co-produced by Ben Harper and Sheldon Gomberg. In January 2015, he married his wife, Elizabeth Yetzer, and together, they are currently traveling the country releasing “All Is Gift.” Powerful. Reflective. Passionate. Visit www.LukeSpehar.com to listen to Spehar and remind yourself of the goodness of God!

DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 45 2015/2016 UPCOMING EVENTS

DECEMBER/JANUARY FEBRUARY

RISE UP CONFERENCE YOUTH RALLY AND MASS FOR LIFE 6TH ANNUAL TAMPA BAY MEN’S 28 Montréal, Quebec, Canada 22 Washington, D.C. 6 CONFERENCE TO Tampa, Florida ◗ For more information visit ◗ For more information visit ◗ 1 https://cco.ca/riseup/ www.youthrallyandmassforlife.org/ For more information visit www.suncoastcatholicministries.com

STUDENTS FOR LIFE OF AMERICA JANUARY 23 NATIONAL CONFERENCE JULY Upper Marlboro, Maryland MARCH FOR LIFE CONFERENCE ◗ For more information visit WORLD YOUTH DAY 21 Washington, D.C. www.sfl alive.org/ 26 Krakow, Poland TO ◗ For more information visit ◗ For more information visit www.marchforlife.org 51ST INTERNATIONAL EUCHARISTIC 31 www.krakow2016.com/en/ 24 CONGRESS TO Cebu, Philippines 2016 LAW OF LIFE SUMMIT 21 Washington, D.C. 31 ◗ For more information visit www.iec2016.ph ◗ For more information visit www.lawlife.org WEST COAST BIBLICAL STUDIES 29 CONFERENCE-THE BIBLE, LIFE IS VERY GOOD 2016 TO THE FAMILY, AND THE NEW EVANGELIZATION 21 Fairfax, Virginia 30 TO San Diego, California ◗ For more information visit ◗ For more information visit www.arlingtondiocese.org/youth/ 22 www.jpcatholic.com/Biblical lifeisverygood.aspx _Conference.php

46 SHALOM TIDINGS DECEMBER 2015/JANUARY 2016 Evangelium FROM THE LATIN  GOOD NEWS.

God sent His angels to watchful shepherds who were ready to hear the Good News. God is still speaking, but is what you are watching on television making it harder to tune in to Him?

Shalom World continues the work of the angels in proclaiming Joy to the World!

CALL YOUR CABLE OR SATELLITE TELEVISION PROVIDER AND LET THEM KNOW THAT THE GOSPEL IS TOO GOOD TO TUNE OUT!

Visit www.ShalomWorld.org/channelfi nder and directly request Shalom World to be off ered in your providers viewing lineup and let the truth transform the way the world experiences media with Christ. AND I WILL BE A FATHER TO YOU, ti AND YOU SHALL BE SONS AND DAUGHTERS TO ME, SAYS THE LORD ALMIGHTY 2 CORINTHIANS 6:18