December 2016

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Coffee at the start, pizza at the end, East Bay twisties in between! We raised $700 last year—let’s make it $1,000 this year! Meet at Cornerstone Coffee, 20991 Redwood Rd, Castro Valley, CA 94619 $20 per rider ALL money goes to Alameda County CASA Coffee time: 10 AM Kickstands up: 11 AM Pizza: whenever we get there! Get more info and (please!) RSVP: CityBike.com/RFGB

Photo - Jose Mejia ©2016

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December 2016 | 2 | CityBike.com News, Clues & Rumors Volume XXXIII, Issue 12 Publication Date: November 14, 2016

On The Cover: The Treasure On That Island Is that The Man hates , even went into making this happen, and we’re Max Klein ‘Stiching up a series of corners Minibike Racing though the rejection email included these looking forward to riding in the expanded on Honda’s VFR1200X. flattering and certainly sincere words: park by the time Tesla figures out how to Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba Minibike racing seems to be on a little “Because of your outstanding credentials make self-driving cars that don’t run down upswing—it’s cheap and easy (like us!) and experience, I want to encourage you to motorcyclists. Contents: and a lot of fun (where the similarity ends, apply for the Council in the future.” NCR ...... 3 unfortunately). If you read our coverage of So You Like Metal? Pitstops ...... 4 Well ok then—we’ll try again next year. the last Treasure Island midnight minibike If you’ve previously read CityBike, you Uneasy Rider ...... 6 Open recruitment starts sometime in the New Stuff ...... 7 madness (“Show Us Your TI TT” – News, may have caught a whiff of our dislike spring or summer of 2017, meaning all Events ...... 10 Clues & Rumors, December 2012), you’ll for crowdfunding. To be fair, it’s not Ex-NC ...... 11 seats will be available and current advisors be happy to hear that the Dames Don’t like we hate the concept—we actually VF-Article ...... 14 must reapply for their spots. See Bee ...... 17 Care Collective is bringing the contribute to campaigns for things we Scoots ‘n’ Pasta ...... 18 TITT back the evening of November 26th. Maynard ...... 20 American (Flat Track) Is care about—it’s just that so many people Hertfelder ...... 21 We’re gonna make you work for the Already Great, Mr. Trump asking for money are looking for free Doc Frazier ...... 22 particulars, in part because this might not funding for bitchass bullshit that they Devine ...... 23 Seriously. All this bombast and bullshit be a 100% sanctioned event, by…well, should go out and work for themselves, or Classifieds ...... 24 about making America great again is a little Locals Only ...... 25 anyone. But we do know that you’ll need want someone to pay the penalty for their disingenuous when we already Slappy McSlapperson ...... 26 a four- under 125cc or a two-stroke Last Page Photo ...... 27 have kickass flat , with less than 80cc. It’s free to stand Carnegie Expansion Opening Date . . . 29 thanks to certainly-not-a- around laughing and talking shit, but single-goddamn-politician. Find us online at: there’ll be a fee to race. CityBike.com The newly christened American The location has not been disclosed, /CityBikeMag (fuck yeah!) Flat Track (formerly known but we’re guessing it might be near your moronic mistakes. “Bro. I crashed my as AMA Pro Flat Track) series has released /CityBikeMag favorite Treasure Island motorcycle shop. Gixxer because I don’t know what contra- its 2017 schedule and thankfully we’re still That’s all we’re gonna give you, so if you stirring or whatever is. Help me pay for /CityBikeMag gonna have races in California, in spite of wanna get in on this, start asking around— new fairings and sneakers, puhleeeez!” Contact CityBike: recent oh-so-realistic talk of secession. or using the internet—for details. We’ll see But sometimes, crowdfunding serves PO Box 18738 you there! Oakland CA 94619 We’ll get three races in the Golden State to, you know, fund things that actually Phone: 415.282.2790 in 2017: the Sacramento Mile on May benefit the crowd. Such is the case with Wanna Be The Next Helimot th th Editorial: [email protected] 20 , the Calistoga Half-Mile on July 29 , Moto Guild’s GoFundMe effort, which Advertising / Business: [email protected] Dealer? Hell Yeah! and the Perris Half-Mile on October 7th. will greatly increase the capabilities of the CityBike Staff: If you’re with us on CityBike SF / Treasure Island Moto Guild facility Editor in Chief & Jackass of All Trades: Surj Gish the hell yeah part, will be in to include a pretty legit metal shop with Master of Puppets & Layout: Angelica Rubalcaba you should know attendance tools like a desktop mill and lathe, band Senior Editor: Robert Stokstad that you do need to at The Sac saw, sheet metal shear and brake, MIG Mile and Chief of the World Adventure Affairs Desk: have a motorcycle & TIG welder, welding table, tools, and Dr. Gregory Frazier shop. You can’t just The ‘Stogie, supplies, plus bead blasting, painting Staff Photographers: Robert Stokstad, go around town with and who and powder coating capabilities and a Angelica Rubalcaba, Max Klein a trenchcoat full knows, hydraulic press. Artwork: Mr. Jensen, Sam Devine of gloves, winking maybe we’ll Operations: Gwynne Fitzsimmons and whispering even figure As we went to press they’d actually Road Scholars: “Hey buddy, wanna out some exceeded their goal, so all bets are on, Sam Devine, An DeYoung, Jeff Ebner, Fish, buy some bitchin’ kind of epic at least bets on Moto Guild SF getting Max Klein motorcycle gloves?” ride to a some bitchin’ new tools. Why are we Contributors: race or two running this story, then? Well, just to tell Michele Appel, Dan Baizer, Craig Bessenger, J. But if you are a shop, you that Moto Guild SF is getting this Brandon, Blaise Descollonges, Julian Farnam, outside of Alonzo Fumar, Will Guyan, Brian Halton, David or know one that California— stuff, we suppose, and also to provide Hough, Maynard Hershon, Ed Hertfelder, Otto would make a good second home for the although you can bet your ass it won’t be another opportunity to talk shit about Hofmann, John Joss, Bill Klein, David Lander, best damn US-made gloves this side of the Florida, because fuck Florida. crowdfunding. Lucien Lewis, Larry Orlick, TJ Noto, Courtney Pecos (and the other side too), Helimot is Olive, Jason Potts, Bob Pushwa, Gary Rather, looking for one good dealer for their gloves For the full schedule, check out The Moto Guild Metal Shop campaign is Charlie Rauseo, Curt Relick, Mike Solis, Ivan at gofundme.com/MotoGuild, in case you Thelin, James Thurber. in the Bay Area. The chosen shop will be AMAProRacing.com/flat-track/events/ want to add to the pile of money—they’re Alumni (RIP): the only dealer in the San Francisco Bay default John D’India, Joe Glydon, Gary Jaehne, Area, other than Helimot HQ in Fremont, offering some pretty useful incentives, Adam Wade of course. Any interested shops should Carngegie Expansion & New like free shop time, instead of the usual For back issue and archive requests, email [email protected]. Back Master Plan Approved! “donate $500 and I’ll sing a song on your issues (if we have ‘em) are five bucks a pop. No, we will not mail you email Helimot at [email protected]. our last copy of an issue from the ‘80s for free, just because your buddy st voicemail” bullshit. was on the cover. We can find stories (maybe) and send you scanned On October 21 , the California Off images for $5, too, but please know what you’re looking for and the year of publication… at least! If you say something like, “Well, it was about Editor Surj Ain’t On The MTC this cool bike I used to see at Alice’s and I think it was in 1988... or maybe Highway Motor 1994, or maybe it was in Urban Moto” we will buy a cheap latex adult novelty and mail it to your grandkids. Remember how we told you that Editor Vehicle Commission CityBike is published on or about the third Monday of each month. Editorial Surj applied for a spot on the Metropolitan voted unanimously deadline is the 1st of each month. Advertising information is available on More outhouses (and hopefully no more fire) coming soon! request. Unsolicited articles and photographs are always welcome. Please include a full name, address and phone number with all submissions. We Transportation Commission’s Policy to approve the new reserve the right to edit manuscripts or use them to wipe our large, fragrant bottoms. Advisory Council (“Speaking Of Advisory Park Master Plan and ©2016, CityBike Magazine, Inc. Citybike Magazine is distributed at over Boards, The MTC Needs You.” – News, expansion into 3,100 200 places throughout California each month. Taking more than a few copies at any one place without permission from CityBike Magazine, Inc, especially for purposes of recycling, is theft and will be prosecuted to the Clues & Rumors, September 2016) in an acres the state bought full extent of civil and criminal law. Yeah! attempt to get us some moto-representation in 1998. Holy shit, that CityBike magazine is owned by CityBike Magazine, Inc and has teams of sleep-deprived, coke-addicted attorneys ready to defend it from frivolous on the important matter of transportation was a long time ago. lawsuits, so even if you see Lucien Lewis doing one of his wheelies on the cover and decide you want to do that too and then you hit a parked car and your bike is wedged under a van and it catches fire and the Vallejo FD policies in the Bay Area? has to come and extinguish the resulting blaze and four cars and your bike We’re of course are melted into slag and you suffer permanent trauma including a twisted pinkie, sleeplessness and night terrors, it’s not CityBike Magazine Inc.’s Surprise, surprise… the MTC snubbed incredibly excited fault and we don’t have any assets so just suck on it. You know better. his advances, in spite of what (we led about this and ourselves to believe) were unimpeachable thankful for the years qualifications. We’re taking this as evidence of hard work that Photo: Surj Gish December 2016 | 3 | CityBike.com healthy, welcoming cafes along the main drag for lunch. But it was the time from about nine or ten AM to four or five PM, when the camp BRO 4: No ‘Tudes, No Dudes emptied and the bikes carried us forth into the desert, that the spirit of the event really I attended Babes Ride Out, a motorcycle shone. Swooping through the forty miles camping and riding event late, in October, or so of Joshua Tree National Park's main just outside of Joshua Tree, CA. This event roads, I hardly had my left hand on the was the first of its kind for me: women bars. Though I had the chance to meet and only. As the organizers put it: a space with few rules beyond 'No 'tudes, no dudes.' A few Babes showed up to Ride Out. Babes Ride Out was started by two women from Los Angeles four years ago as a casual camping event with friends, nicknamed 'Babes in Borrego.' Anya Violet and Ashmore Ellis, a few friends, and a total of fifty other women came from across the west to party and ride in the desert. Word spread and the organizers founded a company Photo: Michele Appel and made it official with a permanent location in Joshua Tree. Each talk to only a few handfuls of women, I felt year the event has grown, rising to 2,300 the salute from hundreds, in passing and at in this, its fourth year, with riders coming stops along these roads. from all over the world. I am typically an independent rider, but Nestled up against the hills north of Joshua the power of solidarity and the joy of good Tree, the main event space was a circular company on rides and trips is starting to arrangement of food stalls and information woo me. Nothing will ever replace the booths, loose awnings and carnivalesque confidence and potential for personal signs and décor covered in a layer of growth of a solo trip, but if you've been leather, vinyl, and steel, pulled together by through enough alone, finding the right a large stage and next to a fenced arena of people to ride with can be the best thing sorts for games and races. The camping that ever happened to you. This is a area was split by a main dirt drag, tent highlight of motorcycle event like Babes bikers to the left, four wheelers and trailers Ride Out: reaching out, being found. Sister to the right. A couple dozen portable events Babes Ride Out UK, Babes Ride toilets (which remained fairly clean) and Out East Coast, and Babes in the Dirt, temporary shower stalls gave you the heading towards its third year, came from feeling of being at both a music festival such new and strong associations, and are and summer camp. A couple permanent also gaining in popularity. Back at camp in the evenings we were treated to workshops, swag and conversation from reps of sponsors MotoLady, Progressive MC, Biltwell, Sena, Triumph, Red Wing, Stance, and Atwyld. We were also offered free beer from 805 Brewing Company and mixed drinks from Sailor Jerry. They also brought Photo: Michele Appel six tattoo artists to apply some old fashioned ink on bathroom and shower structures, with the house. Triumph hosted moto-games— outdoor sinks and a few power outlets yeah, slow race! And to take me back to my served as informal water coolers when home turf of Boise, ID, one night featured attendees needed to charge their phone a mechanical bull contest named the or wait for a mirror, their time to spit out "Brodeo." I owe a shout out to Hot Rides toothpaste, or for a friend trying to do the SF for opening up the weekend with some same. of the best karaoke I've ever heard—you have permanently remade "Monster Mash." Food was available from vendors, but many Though weary from long days, I stuck riders banded together and cooked group around Friday and Saturday night for a meals before and after the day's rides. The couple impressive cover bands, and DJ town of Joshua Tree itself offered a chance Margeaux-A-GoGo kept people dancing to get out of the sun and eat a civilized until midnight. meal, if such was needed. My companions and I had all traveled far on bikes with The final night, Ellis and Violet got up minimal gear, and the prospect of eating in front of the crowd and introduced breakfast and dinner on tarps laid out in MotoFam, a nonprofit hosting a raffle to the windy desert meant seeking a table raise money for injured riders and their and chairs and sandless food from three families. Before doling out prizes, they thanked everyone for attending and for December 2016 | 4 | CityBike.com their support and enthusiasm on social especially in typically male-dominated Fish, his girlfriend Lisa and I drove down pond and find the press tent. The rain is media. By that point, there were thousands fields, at least until the gender imbalance to Solvang the night before, taking turns making things difficult to the point that of photos on Instagram and Facebook. evens out more. Personally, I love being DJing the stereo: Drive-By Truckers, Larry I'm starting to wonder why the hell we're "You broke the internet!" they yelled. able to connect with women with and his Flask, The Brother's Comatose doing this. After signing up for starting I mention this because the organizers motorcycles when there is no need to look and Trampled By Turtles, since you asked. line photography access, I make my way have gotten both positive and negative good for men, keep up with men, be talked past the bleachers and attention for building their brand and down to by men, be creeped on by men, etc. old timey signs to the schedule almost exclusively on Instagram Of course, #notallmen, but those dynamics “And they’re off!” "libation" tent and and through word of mouth. The positive are real and palpable at co-ed events." strengthen my resolve. impact this controversial effort has had is Adrienne and her crew are not sure if they Walking back to the arguable, however. These two women have will attend Babes Ride Out again, but will truck proves to be brought together more enthusiastic and continue riding together and planning easier than getting the dedicated motorcyclists than I could shake events of a kindred spirit, perhaps closer minibikes and riding a stick at. to home. But, she said, "Babes Ride Out back out on the road. Without feeding into any of the will always have a place in my heart, as it The rain lightens up and misinformation out there about the allowed me to meet and be closer to some I take off my flannel, prevalence and health of women's of the absolute best women there are." leaving it in the truck. I motorcycling, I have to say that just being return with my camera An old friend of mine from Los Angeles, in the presence of women alone for that Photo: Sam Devine in just enough time fairly new to motorcycles, put the long was awesome, but shook me up a to get into one of the convergence in a different way: little bit. I do After arriving well after midnight, we prescribed jump suits required for starting "It's an epidemic." not like drawing turned in, waking all too early to go watch line access. attention to my I received many such examples a contingent of codgers catapult crusty rust And the starting line makes it all make femininity—I have of how friendships and buckets and outdated sleds down the sands sense. This is it. Where everyone wants to a degree in the understanding forged in the four- of Pismo Beach. relativity of social day event goes on throughout the Since we have some extra time, constructs and I'm years to manifest community and we stop at Split Pea Andersen's There may or may not be junk in that tired of it being an personal growth. Whether you're on our way from Solvang. We trunk… issue. a comedian or a cheerleader, I finish breakfast around noon, believe the saying is: "In sickness However, I had putting us well out of "total and in health." Babes don't judge. to think about it coverage" position, but hey, how They just want a place to be after the weekend are we supposed to tell you how themselves, and meet others like because I spent an cool it is if we don't have a good them. entire weekend— Photo: Michele Appel time ourselves? maybe the first So I say, go Babes. Post as many After arriving at the beach in time in my life— Instagram photos as you like. Maybe the rain; realizing I left my where I didn’t have to think about it, at least someday the mantra will leave out "No gloves at the hotel; unloading not in terms of being a female in relation to dudes," and just be "No 'tudes.” the mini-bikes; going to one males. My actions were less about myself Photo: Fish (and then another) ATV as a woman with interests and work in - Michele Appel rental store to buy new gloves; industries dominated by men, and more be. Straddling a vintage motorbike while TROG West 2016 getting confused about where the entrance about what kind of rider I am, what kind a flag girl jumps in the air. The roar, clack is; skidding around on wet asphalt on of rider I want to be—and what kind of We're a little weary and a groggy as we pile and pop of engines, flying sand and exhaust minibikes; getting honked at by a truck; human I am. into Fish’s minibike-toting diesel Ford smoke all compete for real estate amongst and head towards The Race of Gentlemen turning around at a 7-Eleven; finding the the drizzle and fog while the riders struggle That's a rare experience for a young female (or TROG for those of you into the whole entrance; parking and locking the minis; to keep their bikes upright and aimed down motorcyclist, and even though if I had it my brevity thing). finding will call; learning that the guest the track. One of them almost careens into way we'd all be beyond the need for gender list had died in a deluge and wouldn't the flag girl. specific events, that's a great position to be "The gates open at eleven," I say, reading an be back till at least Easter; producing in. e-mail off the phone. "And the races start at and displaying an e-mail from an event "I didn't notice," says Z Karnopp, later after twelve thirty because of the tide." organizer; being admitted and pointed she's done waiving the checkerboard rag. "I In other words, this was a motorcycling "Because of the tide?" asks Fish. toward the press tent; observing an ancient guess I don't scare easy." event, but when all is said and done, it is Harley; and using the bathroom, I scrawl One rider wrings out an old '39 Harley also about the self, and gender. For the "Yeah, the tide." these notes: most part, my conversations covered Knucklehead built by Cyclemos, nearly topics like what the scene was like where "Like the laundry detergent?" "Total fucking soaking wet sandy chaos." pitching it at least three times but blowing people were from, their personal histories the foot pegs off the competition. We chuckle. The tide—not the laundry detergent as riders, what type of bikes they were on kind—has left a pit of sea water that "That was good, wasn't it?" I ask the and what they'd done to them, and the clogs the entrance. We edge past this salt stranger standing next to me. rides of the day. But, in quieter moments of reflection, I had some farther reaching conversations. Please forgive the following language if you are sensitive, but it's really very poignant. An older woman, a little fired up, defended the event and others like it saying, "There has to be some place for investigating what it means to have a vagina and two tits without comparing it to what it means to have a dick. Without making it about sexuality." I caught up with Bay Area resident Adrienne VanSchoonhoven, attending the event for the third time. She agreed it was a necessary evil: "My feelings on the matter could fill a novel, but I'll try to give the abridged version. I believe women- only spaces are important and needed,

December 2016 | 5 | CityBike.com sand about ten feet behind me. 2016), we head back to the bikes for some selling vintage replica hats at the event. Remember kickstarting? It slowly dawns on me that he sandy beach shenanigans—tune in next With today canceled, they've decided popped the question and she said month for more “stupid adventures of Sam to take in the museum as well. They're "yes." Init dat noice? ‘n’ Fish” on the Grom and the Z125. dressed straight out of a black and white photo, head to toe in period garb. As the strange decomposing relics return in a group from Damien explains that the riders the finish line, I can't help he talked to love dressing period. but superimpose Mad Max: "They're honoring the bike," he says. Fury Road footage over my "This was an ideal event for us because eyeballs. Worn out rides it's full of people that want to be part of Photo: Fish with elbo-greased gears and the illusion." passioned patinas putter "Yeah, man," responds Jeremy Bay, who's past. Burning Man is the I ask if they've ever done the out here from Troy, NY, with his mid- next stop on the mutant menagerie Edwardian Ball. "No," they say. "That's engine Model T. "Sushi can ride." motorway after this. Nowhere I've a little excessive." Photo: Sam Devine "Do you know where he's from?" been has presented a vehicular vision Oh, well. quite this absurd. "Japan!" On the ride back to Solvang (and an - Sam Devine After the final race and running into JP inevitable meal of Jaeger Schnitzel in the Yep, this distinguished gent has come all Defaut, artist and organizer of "I Am This Dutch capital of California), Fish the way from Tokyo for the event. He details his disdain for the period keeps five or six bikes out in America. “She said yes!” dressed nature of TROG. He raises a Sam in his TROG-required “photojournalist jumpsuit.” Like many of those choosing to flog good point about the lack of safety in semi-priceless contraptions down vintage gear. Really, it turns out, he a sea-water soak sand strip, Sushi is thinks the whole period thing is pretty apparently loaded to the gills with silly. My best rebuttal is: "Well, if you loot. want to have a pirate party, you have to Shooting pictures at the starting line dress like pirates." is pure camera candy, just munching Maybe it is a little silly, but lots of fun up eyeball treats with a high-powered things are. lens and a trigger button. Time fades away as I focus on the next Photo: Sam Devine The next day the races are canceled start. Waiting for the flag to drop, by the tide so we stop by the I suddenly hear applause. Slowly I turn Motorcycle” (“I Am This Motorcycle: Solvang Motorcycle Museum (highly around to find a couple kissing in the Smaller Show, Great Art, Numerous recommended). There I meet Damian Stories, Fewer Beards” – Pit Stops, April Monsivais and Sarah Ford, who were Photo: Lisa Sims

do anything other than just ride along for Of course, Tesla is happy to relinquish the manslaughter when the car issues a control, responsibility and blame unless warning like “hey, we’re about to kill this there’s a monetization opportunity. In a motorcyclist.” Or doesn’t. classic example of you don’t actually own the thing you bought bullshit, Tesla says, Tech companies love to do this—develop “Using a self-driving Tesla for car sharing the technology, and then pass it off to and ride hailing for friends and family is But back to more serious matters, obviously poorly equipped human beings, fine, but doing so for revenue purposes Tesla And The Tech Problem one of which is the matter of essentially washing their hands of any will only be permissible on the Tesla Tesla’s intelligent cars taking out Like many of you, I read an article on responsibility: “Hey, we told you to pay Network.” CycleWorld.com in early November riders, I, Robot style. I’ve been hesitant attention. It’s not our fault you keep that referenced an article on Newatlas. to hop on the fuck technology bandwagon killing yourselves with our half-ass “self- All this so we can keep heading towards com about a Tesla Model S running that has carried some of the motorcycle driving” cars. You’re supposed to be paying an existence like the humans in WALL-E, in “Autopilot” mode rear-ending and community’s typically kneejerk attention—it says so in the ridiculously thanks to cars that drive you to the next seriously injuring a female motorcyclist perspective on things like self-driving lengthy TOS that we know you agree to appointment on your calendar without in Norway on July 27th of this year. Yeah, cars. After all, human drivers have set the without reading every time you update the intervention, drop you off and find their I’m writing an article, or more accurately bar pretty fucking low. software on your car.” own parking spots. a column or whatever this “Uneasy Rider” If you pay attention to this stuff, you may Tesla essentially enabling automated No thanks. We here at CityBike will keep thing is, about an article that was about an recall that in October, California’s DMV culling of motorists on two or four racing toward the apocalypse with our article—just another glitch in the matrix, ordered Tesla to stop using the terms “self- wheels is not so different than Facebook human-controlled motorbikes and old folks. driving,” “automated,” or “auto-pilot” in rapidly accelerating the dumbing-down diesels. advertising, unless they are truly capable of communication and near-complete I was tempted to say “our friends over at You can read the articles referenced above at of driving themselves without human removal of critical thinking, or AirBNB Cycle World” because that’s the sort of CycleWorld.com/can-autonomous-cars- intervention. Tesla’s either ignoring that, and NextDoor making racism ok again— conspicuously fraternal bro-downing that detect-motorcycles and NewAtlas.com/ or those folks believe they’re at that point just a little bloodier. Hey, at least AirBNB publications do these days, but it wouldn’t tesla-autopilot-fema/46045/. Yes, you now—their website currently touts the and NextDoor have sorta-kinda tried to be accurate. We do sorta cultivate an have to type the URLs—we haven’t figured presence of “Full Self-Driving Hardware” fix the mess they’ve created. At least that anti-mainstream, oops lamestream out how to hyperlink newsprint yet. moto-media ‘tude here at CityBike on all cars, claiming their cars are capable particular mess. World Headquarters, but it’s only partly of driving “at a safety level substantially greater than that of a human driver.” Tesla keeps this all because we’re rugged individualists—it’s somewhat legally also because those guys don’t talk to us. Again, we’ve set the bar pretty low, but defensible with statements Ya gotta work with what ya got, right? still… like “Please note that Self- Cycle World probably perceives us—if Driving functionality is The problem with this is that while Tesla they perceive us at all—as the annoying dependent upon extensive says the driver has to be prepared to take redheaded stepchild of that pain in the software validation and control, anyone who’s been on a public ass neighbor a few doors down; the one regulatory approval, road lately knows that even though tanking property values with the unkempt which may vary widely drivers are still expected to be actually yard and suspicious activity. Constant by jurisdiction.” In other driving, they’re not paying attention. It’s stream of shady characters, bikes up on words: it’s too hard for us ludicrously batshit bananas to believe that blocks out front, and so on. to get our shit together, so “drivers” who think their car is taking care you’re on your own. of business are gonna be aware enough to Photos: Angelica Rubalcaba

December 2016 | 6 | CityBike.com If you have a bike that Shad makes a mount New Stuff for, fitting the bags is a snap… err… slide. Coming Soon: R1200GS Long Since ADV bikes are often treated to a bevy of bolt-ons at a level that would Too Soft To Be Hard, Too Hard There’s a pocket on the back of each saddle Term Real World Project Bike bag that slides over the mount and you make a Screamin’ Eagle blush, we’re To Be Soft: Shad’s E-48 Semi Yeah, we get it. It’s not like you can’t just doing just that in our quest to create the are good to go. There are also a handful go over to ADVRider.com and drink Rigid Saddle Bags of loops that you can bungee to for extra ultimate tall-rounder, starting with some from the real GS rider fountain till you seriously classy metal from Rizoma, and By Max Klein security. Shad’s mounting system is barf up your $8 toast and $10 latte. But really quite ingenious, and based on the a fittingly dual-purpose luggage setup Proper luggage can make or break your Editor Surj, following in the footsteps of simplicity of the brackets for the FJ-09 they featuring secure, sturdy boxes by Bumot trip, whether you’re on a cross country the original, legendary World’s Oldest look easy to install, and reasonably sturdy, for the road and soft bags made by Mosko excursion or just going across town. Hard Paperboy, decided that an R1200GS without approaching the boat anchor heft for when the going gets really dirty. would make a right proper CityBike, so We’re working on things like lighting of Yamaha’s stock sidecase now we’ve got one, and since it doesn’t The Shad E-48s may work a little better on improvements and crash protection too, locator brackets. have to go back to the manufacturer, we the KLR when mounted “backwards.” since we’re probably gonna need it. The So by now you are probably can do whatever we want to it, which crash protection that is, in case it wasn’t wondering, “But can you go has already included throwing it down totally obvious. pick up Chinese food and a a trail or two, a bit of damage from a sixxer of Sapporo?” prematurely closing parking garage gate, Anyway, stay tuned for stories and sexy and jump testing it on one of our top photos as we get our GS dialed in. Hell, Yes. Yes you can. In the right secret test tracks (AKA San Francisco). maybe we’ll even ride it on Bungee case, I was able to fit an order Brent’s Backroad Bash in 2017. of pork chow fun, shrimp fried rice, six potstickers, and some Szechuan chicken with a tub of Photo: Max Klein the sauce on the side plus the beer—without expanding the bags are expensive, and most soft luggage is case! I could have easily doubled my order, almost damn near useless unless you have but I was already gonna have leftovers for something in it. Fortunately, the fine folks about three meals. at Shad seem to have found the perfect The E-48 side bags are expandable from middle ground with their Semi Rigid a total resting capacity of 40 liters all the Collection. Never mind what that sounds way up to 52 liters (both bags). They are like—I tested the E-48 Saddle Bags on big without being bulky, and the semi rigid my semi-trusty KLR, and was impressed. But here they are mounted the right way. Installation was a breeze Photo: Max Klein thanks to the universal velcro straps that stretch over the The capacity is spread out in a conveniently rigidity—combined with the half-opening bike and under the seat. It was coffin-shaped 17.71” L x 9” W x 10.62” H zippers mean I have not had anything hit extra easy for me as I found I’d layout. While that extra .71” really makes the ground yet. forgotten to put the bolts back a difference in the length, the relative The zippers are waterproof, but judging by in the last time I removed the narrowness was nice—on the slim-ish the included waterproof covers the bags KLR’s seat. Or maybe they KLR the bags didn’t protrude beyond my themselves are not. The material seems vibrated out—semantics or bars, making lane sharing just as easy with thick enough to hold off a bit of a spritz, forgetfulness, you choose. them on as without. however you might want to wrap them up This method of installation Photo: Max Klein The zippers for loading only open about in a squall. is a bit tricky to remove on a halfway down. While that might sound The best part about these bags for me is trip though, especially if you form means that they hold their shape even like an inconvenience, it is actually helpful. their combination of utility and portability. need tools to pull the seat. The luggage at when they’re not packed with Chinese Even on the kickstand side of the bike, From my KLR to my Ducati, to pretty designers at Shad thought of this too, and food, instead of flapping in the breeze nothing falls out of the bag when you much every press machine that I review, have created some pretty sweet model- like you’ve got a spare riding jacket hastily open it. It isn’t a top-loading system, but these bags will get a lot of miles. specific mounting brackets… for a bunch bungeed to each side of your bike. the bags’ structural rigidity—oops, semi of bikes that are not the KLR. They even sent us a set of brackets for Yamaha’s FJ-09, but since we don’t have an FJ-09 in the cavernous bike storage warehouse here at CityBike World Headquarters any more, we made do with my KLR.

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December 2016 | 7 | CityBike.com This massive tome is basically Being part of the CityBike Wrecking Crew Expando-massive! 287 pages of bolt-on moto has provided me with a lot of opportunities porn; a study in beautifully to check out motorcycle gear and not have machined metal, featuring to return things (because Editor Surj page after page of museum- handles the shipping, too). But it’s still a quality photography. If you’ve chore. ever laid eyes on a Rizoma mirror or lever, you know Here’s how sizing works for riding jeans, that their parts basically set using Max as the male reference point. Editor Surj asks “what’s your size?” Max the standard for nice, and now we’ve got a book full of gives him two numbers; a little while later their beautiful work to gaze he gets his pants, and they fit. Photo: Max Klein longingly at whenever we From me, Editor Surj gets a paragraph $149 for the bags, mounting brackets range need a break from the travails or two, to which he responds with the from $75 to $100, and are available for select of riding motorcycles. email address of someone at the company motorcycles made by Honda, Kawasaki, “But 287 pages?” Yeah, it’s a lot to take in question to “work it out with them KTM, , Triumph and Yamaha. Learn in. The book is so voluminous because it directly.” Eventually, I get some pants, more and find out where to buy at ShadUSA. includes the parts in Rizoma’s expended com. line for bikes from BMW, the big 4, and CityBike Reads: The Rizoma even Ducati’s Scrambler. The uh… chapter on MV Agusta bits is particularly tasty. Catalog By Surj Gish I figure this book is intended to sit on the counter in bike shops, enticing That’s right—we’re reviewing a catalog in riders to slap down their credit New Stuff. The world’s gone crazy anyway, cards in fits of lust-induced so why not? special order frenzy. The But why? Well, here’s the thing. I biggest problem with that is correspond with companies about all the drool that’s gonna end products, and when I was emailing up the pages—but at with Rizoma about some parts for our least drool ain’t sticky. R1200GS long termer, they asked if I’d It could be worse. Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba like them to send me a catalog. I figured it The best part of was gonna be a PDF or maybe a magazine having a copy of the Rizoma catalog and maybe they fit—if we loosen up the type thing, so I said yes. A few days later, floating around CityBike World definition of “fit” to include things like the this elegantly bitchin’ coffee table book, Headquarters? The weird groans Fish kneepads not really being over my knees. Collezione 2016, shows up. makes every time he picks it up. So imagine my elation when I came across Hard cover, 287 pages, 11.25” x 11.25”. Worse For Wear a while back. They’d been Learn more at Rizoma.com. collecting sizing information from all over the world for their Women's Measurement Worse For Wear Crosstown Project. I signed up for updates from their Curvy Jeans website and submitted my measurements By An DeYoung for the cause. New jeans. I don’t know about you guys, In May of this year, after almost two years but the thought of having to shop for of data collection, design, development new jeans makes me consider a life of and prototyping, Worse For Wear released sweatpants. It’s hours of trying to find their first style of motorcycle jean for that one perfect pair. Throw in the need women, the Crosstown Curvy Jean— for them to be slide-proof and you’ve got made in Richmond, Virginia. That’s in the yourself a real challenge. USA! I suppose there’s a decent selection for More recently, using 6 months’ worth of women if you want to shop online. But no feedback from the curvy cut production, pair has everything, and it’s pretty much they’ve released the Crosstown Slim, for guaranteed you’ll be making a return or the curve-impaired gals out there. five before you find something acceptable So in keeping with “why don’t you just talk that actually fits. with them directly” sizing process detailed above, I got in touch with Laura Smith, M GARAGE Vintage / Modern Motorcycle & Service Specialists (Pre-1975? Come on in!!) Moto Garage 415-337-1448 112 Sagamore St, SF, CA. 94112

December 2016 | 8 | CityBike.com rider, designer, and co-founder of Worse specifically about the different types of outside the boot, though maybe not if For Wear. Yes, she got a good paragraph or seams on jeans and their burst strengths. you’re in a pair of super-bulky race boots. so from me too when I placed my order. That information may also be used to They look like normal jeans on the bike Affordable check the burst strength of regular jeans too. Normal, except they lack the usual Luxury Turns out that’s what she wants—Worse before you go to a few too many CityBike and dreaded “gap.” Guys also experience For Wear’s jeans are made to order. They’re 0% for 36 months post-photoshoot lunches at Editor Surj’s a version of this which is known as 1.9% for 60 months OAC not fully custom, unless you happen to favorite East Bay burrito place. plumber’s crack. I prefer keep the color of be in Richmond or find Laura at a trade my underwear a secret from other people show—but thanks to the information they Speaking of protection, you know what else on the road, and these jeans thankfully have from their Women’s Measurement was in the box? SAS-TEC CE Approved provide that level of privacy. Project, they’ve got a lot of patterns to work Remember, crack is with. whack. Once Laura matched I’ve done a few long me up with the right rides in my Crosstown size, she was able to Curvy jeans since base the knee armor getting them and they’re 2490 MIDDLEFIELD WAY Vespa MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA 94043 placement on my super comfortable, don’t 650.966.1183 / CALMOTO.COM inseam, and also make bind up anywhere, and Mention CITYBIKE for Free Delivery to San Francisco the jeans longer for thanks to the single- me—as you may have layer construction I heard, I’m kinda tall. think they’ll be more comfortable than other My jeans arrived riding jeans when at CityBike World the Sacramento heat Headquarters soon returns. They ain’t after, and Editor Surj cheap at $379, but in dangled the package this case, you get what in front of me until I you pay for in a good Photos: Angelica Rubalcaba agreed to terrorize the way: a truly exceptional Bay Area on minibikes pair of US-made, with him and Fish that weekend. More on knee (CE Level 2) and hip (CE Level 1) 2016 Aprilia great-fitting riding jeans with legitimate Tuono 1100 Factory ABS that in our next issue. armor. This is the first pair of jeans I’ve protection, that you can wear to your owned that came with the armor, instead In stock NOW. $16,999 plus fees. Right out of the box, the Crosstown Curvy parents’ house for dinner. Without your of treating it as an “extra” I had to order leathers to tattle on you, they’ll never know $1,500 down, $299/month. jeans look like really high quality riding separately, only to have it not fit into the jeans. No fake wear marks or whiskering, how fast you rode and all the chances you jeans because I should have ordered a took to get there. CALL 510.594.0789 just good solid dark blue denim. They larger size for that. kind of remind me of the old 80s designer $379. Learn more and get yourself a pair at © Piaggio Group Americas, Inc. 2016. Aprilia ® is a U.S. and worldwide registered jeans—you know, the ones that Brooke I inserted the hip armor, even though trademark of the Piaggio Group of companies. Obey local traffic safety laws and always wear a WorseWear.com. helmet, appropriate eyewear and proper apparel. Shields wore once she got off the island. extra width is not really something those You kids can look that one up. of us blessed with curves worthy of the Crosstowns tend to want. But these don’t My Crosstown Curvy jeans seemed add a whole lot of like a good weight junk to your trunk, Skilled Rider=Safer Rider denim, solid but and are actually not too heavy, with pretty comfortable a little stretch. But once you get them in Riding skills hit a plateau? something was the right spot. missing, compared Make the shift! to most other riding I also placed the knee Our comprehensive Intermediate jeans. There were no armor in my usual metal rivets, no kevlar spot—as far down and Advanced clinics help lining. as the velcro would motorcyclists become allow. Once I got defensive riders. Just one layer of the jeans on, I saw denim? Yup. You the first result of a know, like regular old made-to-order jean: Learn to jeans—but safer. the knee armor was Worse For Wear’s midway down my be a safer, jeans are constructed shin. Why? Because California Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba better rider of Armalith, an these were made Motorcycle for me. I moved the abrasion-resistant now! Safety Program fabric made with a blend of cotton and armor up to the correct spot and I was Now UHMWPE (Ultra-high-molecular-weight covered. offering Training Site of MIDWEEK The Year - 2015 polyethylene) fiber used in space and by Nice. the military. This stuff is touted as the CLASSES! “World’s Strongest Denim,” and is claimed I shimmied between the desks of CityBike to provide the mechanical performance of World Headquarters, squatting and karate leather. kicking to test the flexibility and comfort. Again, really nice. I declined Fish’s (oft-repeated) offer to drag me from the back of one of the Bonus: Editor Surj said he couldn’t even minibikes for “testing purposes,” and tell I had the armor in. Also bonus, which Based on the best-selling Learn Total Control at our three Bay Area instead opted to have Laura send me the shouldn’t be a bonus: they have pockets book by National video of the abrasion testing machine they that you can actually use—the front Champion Lee Parks. locations: Santa Clara, Newark and Gilroy. built for their workshop. They didn’t mess pockets hold more than the tips of your around—there’s serious research behind fingers! Thank you Laura and Worse For making sure these jeans will do their job Wear! Call today! 510.784.8978 covering your ass. There’s even an excellent The legs are straight, so tucking into my 2wheelsafety.com/advanced-clinics “Apparel 101” article on their website, boots was easy, and they can also be worn December 2016 | 9 | CityBike.com EVENTS November 20, 2016: Richmond Celebrate 5 years of The Guild. 5 to 11 PM. ride and run pin with RSVP. $10 day of Ramblers Bearfoot Family motoguild-sf.com event. DPCHD.com December 2016 (Fouts Springs, CA) December 3, 2016: Nexx Helmet Demo January 14, 2017: Easyriders Bike November 19, 2016: 16th Annual The AMA-District 36 Bearfoot Family & Canned Food Drive (Santa Clara Show, Presented By Geico Insurance Sonoma Raceway Thanksgiving Food Enduro takes place the weekend before Cycle Accessories, 993 E El Camino Real, (Sacramento Convention Center, 1401 K Drive (Sonoma Raceway, 29355 Arnold Thanksgiving at Fouts Springs in Sunnyvale, CA 94087) St., Sacramento, CA 95814, Halls A thru E) Dr, Petaluma, CA 95476) Mendocino National Forest, also known Santa Clara Cycle Accessories is hosting The biggest, baddest bike show in North Ride with Richard and Kathy from RKA as Stonyford. RichmondRamblersmc.org/ the NEXX Helmet factory rep from 10 to America. Featuring top bike builders for a good cause! Donations of food or events.html 3 pm, to discuss helmet safety and correct and the latest products. 10 AM to 7 PM. money get you a nice ride along the coast November 25, 2016: Ride Friday fit. There will also be demo helmets for test Admission: $20 for adults, kids 6-12 $10, 5 and through wine country to Sonoma Give Back (Cornerstone Coffee, 20991 rides, and Nexx will give away free t-shirts and under get in for free. EasyridersEvents. Raceway for lunch and a few laps ‘round the Redwood Rd, Castro at random and SCC will have com/bikeshow-2017-sacramento.php track. Mandatory riders’ meeting at 8:15 Valley, CA 94619) free drinks and snacks. AM, kickstands up at 8:30 AM. RKA- February 4, 2017: Monster Energy Luggage.com/A15%20Events/2016%20 Also known as the “Fuck SCC and NEXX will be also Supercross (Oakland Alameda County Food%20Dr/fooddrive2016.html Black Friday Ride,” collecting canned food to help Coliseum, 7000 Coliseum Way, Oakland, our apparently annual, the less fortunate during the CA 94621) November 20, 2016: BARF Ride To post-Turkey Day ride holidays. SantaClaraCycle.com Remember (Starbucks Coffee, 4490 Supercross comes to back the East Bay! will benefit Alameda rd Central Way, 100, Fairfield, CA 94534) December 4, 2016: 33 Doors open at 9 AM Saturday morning County CASA—we Annual Dudley Perkins Toy for practice and qualifying, main event Share a special day with fellow riders to raised $700 last year, Run (Dudley Perkins H-D, kicks off at 3:30 PM. Tickets start at a remember those that have passed, people and we’re hoping to 333 Corey Way, South San truly economical, take-the-whole-family- that touched your life in a special way, hit $1,000 this year. Francisco, CA 94080) friendly $15, but of course Ticketbastard before giving thanks with family and We’ll kick off with Meet at DPCHD for coffee at 9 AM, is gonna add another 50% or so for the friends on Thanksgiving. For this ride, coffee at Cornerstone in Castro Valley, “convenience” of letting you utilize you’re asked to bring your mother, father, ride the East Bay hills and end up at kickstands up at 10 AM. Breakfast at Mariposa Yacht Club after caroling at SF their monopoly to hand over your hard- brother, sister, son, daughter, friend, or Lanesplitter in Emeryville. $20 gets you earned cash. And don’t get us started on whomever lives forever in your heart with in, caffeinated at the beginning and fed General Hospital. Run pin: $7 in advance, $10 day of ride. Run pin + breakfast: $20 in “What the hell is a 3D collector’s ticket?” you as we ride to celebrate life—a picture at the end—all money goes to Alameda SuperCrosslive.com or note in your jacket pocket, or a memory County CASA thanks to generous support advance, $30 day of ride. DPCHD.com in your head. from our sponsors Cornerstone Coffee and January 1, 2017: 36th Annual Dudley Meet at Starbucks at 9:30. Kickstands up Lanesplitter Pizza. Learn more and RSVP Perkins New Year’s Day Run & Tom around 10 AM, for a mellow ride in the at facebook.com/CityBikeMag/events Perkins Memorial Day Run (Dudley Berryessa area. BayAreaRidersForum. November 26, 2016: 5 Year Anniversary Perkins H-D, 333 Corey Way, South San com/forums/showthread.php?t=505011 Party (Moto Guild, 849 13th St #62, San Francisco, CA 94080) [email protected] Francisco, CA 94130) PO Box 18783 Meet at DPCHD at 9 AM, kickstands up at Oakland, CA 94619 10 AM to ride to Nick's Rockaway Beach Restaurant for breakfast in Pacifica. $7 for

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December 2016 | 10 | CityBike.com The Motorcycle You Deserve, Not The Motorcycle You “Need” Honda’s NC700X Contrary to popular belief (and photographic evidence presented in these pages), I do more than just hoon on motorbikes. As a matter of fact, I do use them for daily errands throughout the congested East Bay area. So while the hoon-ability of the NC is what really sealed the deal for me, the business-handling side of the equation is what makes it a viable option. We all know that upright ergos paired with a tractable power band makes for great ‘round town appliances. The NC combines that with a just right chassis size that fits well in many urban situations. The ground clearance and adventure-esque attitude Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba of the X means you’ll have no problem hopping curbs or making a less than legal By Fish, Max Klein and Surj Gish there’s an LED tail light which is welcome it adds just enough punch to the bike to u-turn over a median. These capabilities Photos by Angelica Rubalcaba to those of us who hate replacing bulbs. justify the button push. should not be overlooked. and Max Klein Snuck into those aggressive new lines was I personally found myself in level two the The frunk is such an amazingly useful some extra capacity in the frunk, so I guess e like the NC. You’re gonna have most. Here the bike runs right up to the feature. Not only is it great for stashing I can forgive the marketing jargon. to deal with it. torque peak and shifts with authority. your helmet when you arrive, this little WIn case you’re unfamiliar, With formalities out of the way, here’s This is closest to a CVT feel, because the cavern can easily transport an entire the NC700X is Honda’s do-it-all value the deal: the NC could be the fabled only bike never stops pulling. When faced with top end of an air cooled 80 cubic inch bike aimed at catering to all the things bike. We tested the DCT (dual clutch sharp, slow-in, fast-out curves, the bike is American V-twin engine! I hate backpacks, American riders don’t use motorcycles transmission) version, and that—perhaps always in the right gear to reward a twist of saddlebags kinda cramp my style, and for. You can get one for just $7,499, and its surprisingly—really made the difference the throttle with train-like drive on exit. It topcases look stupid. This is the best cargo focus on fuel economy, utility, and comfort for me. First and foremost, I’m not a will gently downshift on decel and corner transport feature I have ever seen. technology guy, and I’m also not an auto entry, but not enough that it would ever are equally odd and revolutionary in a As for the hooning—the upright ergos trans guy. Every vehicle I own has a manual upset the bike. Level two does force you marketplace that largely views motorcycles come into play again. I’m of the opinion transmission, even my diesel towing pig. to rely on the brakes a bit more, but you as toys. That oddball status is enhanced that low sporty ergos are not an asset when can still use the manual buttons to drop an by the placement of the fuel tank under partaking of spirited-pace riding in the But the unconventional power delivery extra gear when you find the end of their the seat, with a tank-shaped storage idiot-infested wilds of our public roads. of the NC can catch you off guard. It’s a heat tolerance—which we did. compartment or “frunk” (trademark Honda, so it revs as smoothly as expected The NC doesn’t ask you to curl up in a Fishco, son!) where the fuel tank “should” and you hit the low, low redline and Level three is there to remind you that ball or move your body into convoluted be. The NC hits that one-or-two-months- corresponding rev limiter—or more shifting at redline isn’t always the best idea. yoga positions to go around corners, and SF-rent price point thanks to trickle down accurately, it can hit you, rather forcefully— Perhaps the ratios aren’t matched well, but the light effort required to move the bars parts bin economics, including an engine very quickly. I found that when doing anything other means that you can ride the shit out of this design from the shockingly good than drag racing, the shift points here left bike all day. (that’s a car!) as well as DCT transmission The DCT totally fixes that. As hard as it me with less drive and too many revs in The suspension may be budget, but 5.4” of technology that debuted on the previous- may be to accept the DCT concept, Honda some places. Level three does add serious travel up front and 5.9” out back mean that gen, non-ADV-ish VFR1200—the one has this technology sorted. New for 2016 is engine braking into the equation, but it’s it’s reasonably tolerant of the lovely roads that sold like ice at the North pole, maybe the aforementioned adjustability of sport not worth the drag race-y power delivery. worse. mode—I found myself in level two most we have in our little slice of California. often. For 2016 Honda has updated the NC in a few meaningful ways (as well as some In addition, there is full on commuter not so meaningful ways) compared to the mode (called Drive, like a traditional auto bike we first rode a few years back (“2012 trans) which is incredibly smooth and Honda NC700X, A motorcycle for the efficient—it really optimizes fuel economy ages?” – January 2013). Honda describes and conserves energy. The downside is that the bike’s updated appearance as having a it doesn’t downshift or engine brake in this “tougher, adventure ready look,” which as mode, and that takes a little getting used to. you may have guessed, falls in the not so The other end of the spectrum is the full meaningful category. The muffler has been on flappy paddle gearbox manual mode. I updated as well, for a sharper look. can see someone getting the hang of this, I’m not sold on how hypothetically tougher but it’s not immediately intuitive and ended looks make this thing more adventure- up overly complicating things. The various ready. I mean, it already has a beak—what levels of Sport mode are really where it’s at. else does a bike need to be “adventure The Sport modes deserve quite a bit of ready?” attention. Let’s start with level one—this Looks aside, Honda did extend the lets the bike hold gears slightly longer than windshield by 70mm to give us riders over Drive, and is still smooth and well suited to 5’6” some wind protection. The DCT commuting and focused city riding. Fuel tranny has gained three sport modes, and economy doesn’t noticeably suffer, and Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba December 2016 | 11 | CityBike.com Photos: Angelica Rubalcaba There were a couple places where I simply per gallon with the treatment it received the adventure-ness by saying it’s ready for like it was egging me on. “There’s more… jumped when I encountered tree root- from me? I’ll take it. “everyday performance” on their adventure there’s always more…” induced bumps in the road. While doable page. It reinforced that stealthily mischievous with a more sporty bike, the NC was right I’ll be honest—I wouldn’t sell my FXR to side with “Ride Red Bro” appearing on the at home in such situations. I did manage buy an NC, but I’m an idiot. For anything That’s not to say that you can’t go rail the dash when I turned the key. to find the limit of the rear shock on some short of a truly special snowflake, this twisties or even do some exploring on this bike is the solution to doing it all in a thing. particularly choppy roads, but the addition No shit. very competent way. And if you’re too of more throttle meant that the ample But, it wasn’t love at first sight (twist?) torque just stepped the rear tire out. When special, too hard core, too real of a rider to But my favorite part about the bike might compromise, you probably already have the for me. Leaving a stoplight in the default you’re really acting like an ass, you can also power mode with find the limit of that single front brake. perfect KTM or Ducati getting its valves adjusted at the shop right now anyway. a throttle input It does at least fade gently, and give you equal to the flow enough time to mellow yourself out. Fish actually typed this on paper and left of traffic had the Completing the do-it-all trifecta is freeway it in the frunk of the NC when he returned NC700 puttering duty, and the extra 70mm of windscreen it to CityBike World HQ. Along with the into in 3rd really helps on the interstate. I had to make typewriter, some broken Harley pistons, a gear—at 20ish a weekend run to Sacramento on the NC, busted cell phone and a bag of chips. mph—before I even got through and it totally shined. I half-expected to Dual-Clutching A Double- finally find some inherent weakness in the the intersection. little twin that could, but failed to do so. I Smoked Bacon Sammich & A Keep rolling with could not ask for a better engine to handle Cup Of Coffee the flow of traffic and you’ll find the awful winds of 680 between Martinez I have to admit that I was borderline yourself in 5th and Fairfield, and the chassis was planted, disappointed when I went to load the gear at 35mph. minimally affected by the sideways gusts. NC700X into the CityBike diesel truckster. Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba Headwinds? Simply not a problem. My usual act of clutching the bike up into In the name of the back of the truck was impossible, due to The cherry on top is the passenger-toting fair and balanced have been the frunk, a name Fish, or some the apparent lack of clutch. ability. My return from The Sac was a moto-journalism, I decided to ride it like subsidiary of Fish’s life called Fishco, is this for a tank and see where I ended up. two-up affair, and the NC served us well, Eventually, I fired up the motor and while trying to lay claim to. Even with some hamfisted moments I got providing surprisingly ample passenger trying to figure I went to pick up some Chinese food and space for a middleweight. I encountered out how to put was able to fit not only dinner for 4 in there, the usual bottleneck of yay-hoos returning it into gear I but also a sixer of Tsingtao to wash it down. from Tahoe on I-80, and filtering through worried about When I rode it to Thunderhill to shoot a with a passenger was drama-free, thanks in A) just how far track day, I loaded my camera, a 28-300mm part to the NC’s low center of gravity and would I put the lens, extra batteries, memory cards, change smooth power delivery. bike into the cab of shoes, extra shirt, and a couple of water of the truck and Ultimately, yes, this is a compromise bottles into the frunk with a little room to B) how pissed bike. It’s never going to be a competitive spare. Editor Surj was motocrosser. You’re probably not going to going to be about With the frunk nearly-fully loaded, I hit the win an AFM race on it, and you’ll definitely me bringing pre-dawn road. For some reason Honda never win a beauty contest on it. I imagine a seemingly decided to make the tachometer change you’d find the limit of the engine if you glorified scooter color relative to speed and throttle, and I wanted to tow a Goldwing behind you. back to CityBike found it downright distracting in the dark. Honda advertises fuel economy of 64mpg, World HQ. Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba I hit the fine city of Willows with enough but I saw numbers closer to 55mpg. Can Fortunately for time to grab a cup of coffee and a breakfast I complain about that “typical OEM 77mpg, and that tank was spent at pretty me—and all of us, really—I kept the bike sandwich from Starbucks, but not quite dishonesty?” Sure, but seriously? 55 miles much my normal pace in the hills and in the bed of the truck, and the NC turned enough time to consume my breakfast about 80mph on the freeway. out to not suck in a very decisive way. inside. So I went through the drive No shit. through. Seriously. With that out of my system, I switched over No shit. No, it’s not a to Sport mode, specifically the super-secret fire breathing I added the double-smoked bacon sammich sporty-sport Sport mode—Honda calls it torque monster to the already extensive contents of the S3… and still managed to get between 62- ready to destroy frunk and rode off clutching my coffee 68mpg, depending on how long I waited supersports in instead of the transmission. That was first for it to shift into top gear on the freeway. the canyons, time I’ve truly wished I had a modular Honda’s DCT would downshift almost and contrary helmet. exactly like I would if rowing the gearbox to what Honda myself, allowing me to power out in second Funnily enough, the thing I liked least was would have you gear instead of lugging through in fourth. the gas tank. Honda decided that with the believe, it’s not massive miles per gallon you get with the an adventure Strangely, I often had to manually kick it NC, you don’t really need an adult-sized bike, although up a gear if I was cruising along at 75, kinda tank. I’d have no problem with that if the Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba they do caveat thing was easy to fill up, but with the filler December 2016 | 12 | CityBike.com located under the passenger seat, you have near every other motorcycle bestowed a guy like me and muddle-headed refusal, I also took it on a CityBike photoshoot as a to unlock the seat, flip it up, look for a good with ADV branding—the truth is, it’s I rode it everywhere, just as Fish and Max sort of support vehicle. Which is a typically place to put the filler cap, and put in your an incredibly capable motorcycle, even did—from my daily commute to dipshit overblown Bay Area-esque way of saying I 3.7 gallons. if on paper it looks like the most boring devilry. Which is what we do with most led us around on the NC, looking for cool goddamn thing since golf. bikes we get, except maybe that damn graffiti to use as a backdrop. That underseat tank location also means Forty-Eight. that you will need to pack creatively if Those capabilities often go woefully It was perfect, and I ended the day wanting you’re going on a long trip. The frunk holds underappreciated, because American one of my own. Like Max on the way a lot of stuff, but I don’t think anybody is motorcyclists, overly concerned to Thunderhill, I loaded the frunk going to cram camping gear in there. It with cool, with owning the ultimate with camera gear, and yeah, that didn’t cause me any grief, but it might if I solution to whatever their particular was cool—although it woulda been owned one. motorcycling problem is, have downright blissful if I’d been able to historically overlooked bikes that open the frunk without the key. But Smallish tank aside, it gets great mileage, are cool in an understated, sensible, still, I rode around, waving my hands was fun to ride, and can hold the contents occasionally odd way: Yamaha’s in confusing attempts to point out of a KLR milk crate in the frunk. TDM850, Honda’s Pacific Coast, and cool stuff, stopped randomly and What’s not to love, besides the Lite Brite other bikes that were ahead of, or just didn’t have to worry about snicking tachometer? outside of, the curve. into neutral before gesticulating. You Max thought it was impossible for a bike to could argue that the DCT dumbs But I’ve started seeing other NCs down the experience of riding, but be any less cool than a KLR, even with an here and there, not just Gwynne’s. automatic transmission. He was right—and you should ride a bike equipped with Maybe we’re wising up. Like Fish, I one before you do. that’s why he’s SF chapter Director of the have a hard time seeing myself as the AFM. Send us an email if you think that owner of an NC as my only bike, or Riding support for that photo shoot, doesn’t make sense, and we’ll make sure we my main bike—even though it makes the bike’s sleeper hooligan spirit don’t respond explaining our logic. an awful lot of sense, especially as a revealed itself in a way that doesn’t The Editor Has No Tank utilitarian moto-commuter. And the rear its head in the daily running of dumb thing about it is that it’s not the gauntlet. Quick, give me the first CityBike has something of a long-term because I can’t assemble a longass list thing that pops into your head when thing with Honda’s NC700X. Gwynne, our of use cases that the NC excels at—I I say, “You’re in West Oakland, on a long-time Queen of Making-Shit-Happen can. It’s more about more obscure motorcycle… what do you do?” and oftentimes face of the mag (because components: emotional connection, Photo: Max Klein You fucking wheelie off curbs, smoke she’s the one that smiles so nice) owns one, excitement, and yes, cool. and rides the shit out of it. In fact, she’s I took it to the Tom Perkins Memorial the rear, and hope the cops are busy probably the reason Honda categorizes it The NC (not cool?) is the equivalent of an Foundation ride in San Francisco (“Doing with real crime, right? Goddamn right you under adventure on their website, instead Aerostich suit. Eminently useful, but to the The Inaugural Tom Perkins Legacy do, and that’s just what I did. of… I dunno, some other category, layperson… well, not that cool. Foundation Ride On The Wrongest Editor Surj is old enough that he oughtta be probably one that doesn’t exist. Fuck-yeah- “But Surj, you wear a ‘Stich.” Possible Bike” – Pit Stops, October 2016), smart enough to just buy a damn NC700X do-it-all-shoulda-been-a-moto-messenger, thinking it’d be an interesting test of how and call it a day, but no… maybe? Or just do-it-all, to keep the “make Yes. Yes, I do. people react to it. Perhaps surprisingly, the America great again” do-gooders happy. In an attempt to understand this Harley folks dug the NC—I got a lot of Gwynne is understandably miffed about dichotomy between rational acceptance thumb-up action, positive comments and the treatment of the NC at the hands of of the NC as arguably the perfect guy for curious questions. the moto-press, and even at the hands of the whatever-CityBike-is press. She’s been on a one-woman crusade to get people to understand the awesomeness of the NC for a few years now. One time, she showed me a picture of her NC on its side, halfway up, or maybe down, some slickrock gnarl halfway to someplace I’d never even heard of, and told me how she ended up dragging the bike out of there. I said, “you ought to write a story about your NC adventures,” but she only shrugged and said, ”Just another day on the NC.” So while we’re given to scoffing at the adventure-ness of the NC—and damn Photo: Max Klein Reliable, timely service at reasonable rates on all makes of motorcycles

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December 2016 | 13 | CityBike.com The Genuine VF-Article: Honda’s VFR1200X

Photos: Angelica Rubalcaba

when attempting to show off my two transmission options. The standard wheelie skills for small children, version that we tested was pretty flawless, and even then it let me get away but if you would rather have the option of with a bit more than a couple the machine doing the shifting, there’s a other bikes I have tried the same DCT version available too. If it works as on recently. well as the one in the NC700 it is at least worth a test ride—more about that starting Also on the electronics front, back on page 11, in case you missed it. the ABS was fairly hard to engage. The dual 310mm discs While the displacement on the 1200 is up front and the 276 rear disc obviously much bigger, Honda claims that out back are linked, and before the 1237cc motor is no wider than the little the “OMG linked brakes are guy found in the VFR 800. This wizardry the devil” crowd gets out pen of design was accomplished in part by and paper for strongly worded making the rear cylinders cuddle closer letters, stop it. It isn’t like Honda together than the front two. Not only is it just started playing with this narrow, but it is slightly skinnier where it tech—they’ve been using linked counts... near the footpegs and the back of brakes on production bikes the tank, for better ergos. since the 80s. On pavement you For those of you worried about the don’t notice any ill effects. The reliability of a first year motor, fret not. bike stops when you want it to First off, this bike has been available across Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba with less effort than you need to the pond as the Crosstourer for a couple of anchor most 600-pound bikes, years now, and prior to that the motor was and I never locked the rear in in the slightly more hopped up VFR1200F. an emergency stop situation. By Max Klein and Fish Honda didn’t get this far by being stupid, Secondly, it’s a Honda. Off-road is another story—if you ask Fish Photos by Angelica Rubalcaba though—although they do get a little weird at least—but even then I thought it was and Fish now and then. They get it. They know that Power for the sorta-new-to-us motor is people aren’t going to line up to buy this predictable. transferred to the 17” spoked rear wheel efore I became a regionally famous bike for serious long way down or ‘round or via a drive shaft that runs through a sexy, motorcycle journalist, I worked in The suspension is a bit budget-y, allowing wherever shenanigans. They understand single-sided —the other long- marketing. So I always check out for only preload and rebound adjustments, what many people use their adventure standing hallmark of the VFR series. This whatB the motorcycle manufacturers want but it was not a total disappointment on the makes maintenance for the already low bikes for, and made the VFR-X a damn near street—while not perfect, it was nowhere us to believe about their creations at some maintenance machine just a bit more forget perfect example. near the pogo stick that some other stock point in my review process. Context, right? about it—perfect for those that really rack Adventure bikes have won the hearts and boingers have been. Bumps on our top Honda has a dedicated Adventure section up the miles, and also those of us that just wallets of many former sport-touring secret test track (Redwood, Pinehurst, on their website, but so far none of their riders, and those riders have not changed etc) and Highway 4 were noticeable, but bikes that we’ve reviewed have had true their habits. Hardcore ST riders would absorbed without incident. Throwing adventure performance—although hit a fire trail or other dirt path from time this 600-pound machine in and out of the we haven’t gotten our hands on the to time for street cred (I know I did / do) corners of my standard test loop ‘round Africa Twin (yet), which promises to be and now they don’t even have to—the bike Lake Berryessa was fairly effortless as well, something special in the true adventure obviously has been off-road, I mean look at even with a 19” spoked front shod with department. the beak! Those wheels! That bike has been less-than-sporty rubber. The CB500x lacked suspension travel. The places! VFR fans from the last couple decades NC700X… well, it had a bit more travel All kidding aside, the 1200X is good. Little know that you don’t buy a VFR for the out back, but still wasn’t what I’d call “long things like an easy-to-adjust (one handed, suspension, you buy it for the motor. travel,” and it was still riding on 17” (non- while in motion) windscreen and a power The Viffer’s V-4 has been a favorite since spoked) wheels. With the VFR1200X, outlet are priceless for day-to-day usability. the 80s, with the varying displacements Honda seems to be suggesting that a The power spreads on like creamy developing a cult following (even the 1237cc, V4-powered beast is worthy of an peanut butter on warm toast, and does so VTEC models) and have become the ADV sticker. throughout the gear range. It’s so smooth targets of other makers. If you believe the Sure, it looks the part, what with the put- that you can be up a gear or two and still rumors, Triumph built their 1050 triple to a-beak-on-it styling, but c’mon. At 600+ power out of a corner without a single take on Honda’s VFR. pounds (before you add your ammo can complaint from the machine. The traction I can understand why. The sound is side cases for true adventure cred), I don’t control has three positions for varying amazing, and unmistakable. It pulls see very many people using this off the wheelie height road conditions, and can be hard down low, continues through the paved path. shut off if you want to slide the rear a bit. I midrange, and does so with minimal only had the traction control light flash me vibration. The 1200 motor is available with

December 2016 | 14 | CityBike.com The Genuine VF-Article: Honda’s VFR1200X

Photos: Angelica Rubalcaba

plain forget to clean and lube on a regular Too Big To Fail, At Least On seat. It really helps make foot placement 55 mph. While it’s superbly comfortable, basis. Pavement and riding position natural. the engine is incredibly eager to get up and go, meaning that maintaining reasonable Hmm… I’ve repeatedly professed my love for the Wind protection is pretty damn good too. speeds requires a lot of concentration. ADV niche. Seriously, what’s not to love? While adjustable windshields are a regular Cruise control would go a long way here. (I So it has shaft drive, a torquey motor, thing on these adventurous bikes, the VFR spoked wheels, decent suspension travel, Honda is arguably kinda late to the game, can’t believe I just said that.) but they’re making up for lost time by sets a new standard with its clever, single- and they put a beak on it? Well, shit. It sure hand-operable adjustment mechanism. It’s When 4 started bending its way into the does look the part of an ADV machine, adding the X suffix nearly every bike in their lineup. I’m waiting for the CBR1000X smooth, quick, and really easy. The shield Sierras, the big VFR started to make more but like I said before, I’m not convinced itself is well designed: not too big, but still sense, quickly. The V-4 simply kicks ass on that Honda ever really intended to send with bated breath. Until then, the VFR-X will have to suffice. does a great job covering my 6-foot tall more dynamic roads. Gentle roll-ons are the 1200X to the Arctic Circle, or Baja, or frame. rewarded with surprising levels of thrust, anywhere more extreme than a fire road… I’m fortunate enough to split my time and speed accumulates exponentially. that’s what the nearly-100-pounds-lighter between many jobs, and one of them is The grips fall right to hand, and switchgear Africa Twin is for. co-driving an off-road race truck. The VFR is typical Honda—which is to say high Eventually, the brakes must come into play, fell into my dirty little hands when was quality and solid. I’m ashamed to admit and fortunately, Honda did a great job here. Think of the Twelve-X as the moto that I was disappointed at the lack of heated Late braking is encouraged, and aided by equivalent of the four-wheeled soccer about to head to Fallon, Nevada for the Fallon 250 desert race. A trip over Ebbetts grips, but let’s be honest, heated grips ought the solid chassis. mom crossovers out there. They look like to be standard equipment on an adventure Pass seemed like the right route to get Ebbetts Pass has a way of exposing a bike’s they might be not horrible in mild off-road grande motorcycle. situations, but most will never find out. I acquainted with this thing, and it was more weaknesses, or in this case, strengths. refer to the X as an Urban ADV machine. or less on my way. Filling out the ergo-interface equation is As the surface got less refined, the VFR Spoked wheels and decent suspension for I’ll get this out of the way now: the fueling the seat. I can’t say it was amazing, but it seemed to get better. The 19” front wheel potholes, torquey motor for stoplight to needs help. The throttle is so sensitive was not bad; reasonably supportive and has no issues with cracks, potholes, or other stoplight wheelies, shaft drive for laziness, that seemingly nearly every bump causes spacious enough for long days in the saddle. irregularities. I was initially quite skeptical and the beak because, well, it sells bikes of the unassuming suspension, but much the bike to lurch, and it most certainly While our tester was lacking the hard these days. to my surprise, I did not encounter any does not suffer ham fisted antics well. It luggage that ought to have been hooked does, however, love to go fast—the upper conditions where I felt like more or less Max is the SF chapter Director of the AFM, into the built-in bag mounts, the Big X does third of the throttle is smooth as silk, and damping would have been beneficial. It regionally famous for his occasional stops at have a substantive, usable luggage rack— rewarding. However, legal levels of really was a good package straight out of The Wall on the latest OEM loaner; although very making it easy to secure my driving suit, acceleration are not as pleasant as other big- the box. he occasionally disappoints his patiently- helmet, and duffel with four days of crap bores I’ve ridden lately. waiting fans by showing up on his KLR. using a pair of Rok Straps. If only the trip had ended there… The ergos are nothing short of superb. The My trip began with the awful part of On the back side of the Sierras, the Nevada VFR’s V-4 places the rear cylinders closer Highway 4, where I really learned quite a leg of my trip finished up on Highway 50, together to make a narrower bike under the bit about the VFR-X. The bike is simply which sucks—the only good aspect of the not happy droning along the highway at road being the lack of law enforcement,

Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba December 2016 | 15 | CityBike.com which did allow me to through the terrain. Point is, experiment with finding a at the end of the day I’m sore. comfortable cruising speed. Not “ugh, I worked out too It doesn’t have one. No hard” sore. More like “riding matter how fast I went, the in a people-sized clothes big VFR just begged to go dryer set on ludicrous speed” faster. While CityBike offers sore. So the thought of a a great benefits package, 300-mile motorcycle ride our legal department is a bit after such activities was lacking, in both quality and not appealing. Much to my existence. I had no desire to surprise, the VFR was more experience one of Nevada’s than reasonable for my post- graybar hotels, so I aborted Photos: Fish race trip home—comfortable that mission after an all-too- and competent. brief visit to the extreme-ticket, but-not- I’ll admit, I rode highway 50 home. Fewer quite-jail zone. curves, reasonable pavement, totally It really does need cruise control. And I boring. The twitchy throttle was of course can’t believe I had to say that again. still present, but I had conditioned myself to it so the day was uneventful. Since I was on my way to an off-road race aboard an adventure bike, journalistic So I’m left wondering where this bike integrity required that I put the VFR-X fits in the ever-expanding list of use case through its paces in some unpaved areas. arguments in my head. It’s more fun than a V-Strom, but less than a Ténéré (shut The first thing that stood out to me was up until you spend time on one). The that this bike is, well… heavy. Like, really rocketship cruising speeds are a blast, but heavy. That weight goes away when then why not get a Connie or FJR for full- you’re playing Isle of Man racer on your time freeway-fast travel? local mountain course, but it becomes potentially-painfully obvious in loose Oh yeah, wheelies. gravel at low speeds. will give you aches in muscle groups you may not make sense to you: I sit in the Fish’s whereabouts are currently unknown, It’s nothing a little throttle can’t fix, so never knew you had. passenger seat of the truck, and stare at a but we’ve heard he’s infiltrating motorsport long as you turn the traction control off. 7” TFT display on a GPS system. I have events all over the country to examine the As I attempted to pre-run the Fallon 250 So unfortunately, off-road prowess gets a an intercom in my helmet—linked to the level of in-paddock hooning. If you see him course, the magnitude of my poor decision D-minus. driver—and I feed him recommended in public, do not approach, and do not ask if making skills became very apparent. The My remaining race days in Nevada saw the speeds for corners, information about whatever vehicle he’s operating has the ability aforementioned gravel threw the VFR’s VFR placed in duty. I will allow terrain, and helpful tips on engine to wheelie or break traction. TC into fits—the bike would occasionally that it does great flat track-style slides in parameters. I’m also the one who talks via continue to reduce power until it actually gravel. Again, the urgency of the engine radio to the pit crew about our predicted shut off. Nothing inspires confidence comes into play, and it turns out to be great arrival time, and any possible damage to like almost falling over while leaving the for all the things you shouldn’t do with a the truck. starting line. 600-pound-plus motorcycle. Co-driving is a less than comfortable Luckily the TC off button is large and But remember, I was out in the desert job, as I can’t really focus on the terrain, convenient, so with this riding “aid” because I was supposed to help a negotiate so I rely on my seat belts to hold me in disabled I departed. The hard-packed an 800 horsepower rolling deathtrap 250 and I have to use a fair amount of energy gravel was sketchy at speed, but didn’t feel miles through a race course. If you are to stabilize my head while we bounce dangerous. Transitioning into dry lake unfamiliar with desert racing, my role bed proved a treat and my speed quickly ascended to painful crash levels. I began to believe that a bike with such awesome road manners could be reasonably dual purpose. Then, sand. All bets were off and the bike promptly sank to the skidplate. No amount of feathering or coaxing would get the VFR-X through the sand section, and ultimately, my only smart decision of the day was to retire at mile 15 and head back to camp. This meant riding counter- course on a semi-live test day, which counteracted some of my “smart” decision. I attempted to negate some of this danger by getting off the route, only to find the wet part of the “dry” lake bed. Weight became my enemy and the bike promptly sank to the skidplate, again. It got bad enough that I had to walk alongside the bike while feathering the clutch just to get to hard-pack, and as you may suspect since you’re reading this VF-Article, I did manage to safely return to camp. I can’t recommend the biggest VFR for the serious off-road enthusiast, but I can recommend it to those in need of a creative new exercise program. Dragging the X sideways from rear wheel-dug hole to hole Photo: Angelica Rubalcaba December 2016 | 16 | CityBike.com A Quick Spin ‘Round The Bay On Honda’s CB500F

Sure, it lacks the X’s 5.5” inches of travel up front (but shares the 4.7” rear travel spec) and that’s not as good for the shitty roads we’ve come to be forced to accept in the Bay Area and beyond. Of course, what with America about to be made great again, which presumably includes great roads, that’s about to be a non-issue. But even if that greatness doesn’t pan out, it’s not like everyone needs an adventure bike now—pay attention, and just go around By Surj Gish If you read our review of the 500X, you height; and it’s 13.2 pounds lighter and .4” the big potholes, ok? Photos by Max Klein may have wondered why we spent most of shorter than the X-rated 500, which has a Brakes are competent, and while not e rode Honda’s CB500X in that article talking about spending a bunch seat that’s 1.1” higher off the asphalt. sexy on paper, Honda did a nice job with of money on converting the X into a real the Fall (“Too X-y For My So it’s a bit bigger than a 300, but in terms the look of the rotors. If you’re one of adventure bike, as well as how it doesn’t Adventure - 2016 Honda of getting around—and you probably saw these “give me Brembo or give me death” CB500X”W – October 2016) and had burn oil like a KLR. Well, Max’s KLR. You chuckleheads, you’ll find the rotors—320 this coming—it’s not a huge leap forward. might have been hoping for a little more originally intended to do sort of a head-to- There are two sides to that statement, the mm front and 240 mm rear—lacking, but substance, and in case you’re thinking, head comparison of the F and the X, since first being that the bikes in the 300 class regular folks will think they look pretty “Well, ok, now he’s gonna tell us some more they’re very similar motorcycles. Sort of a are pretty bitchin’ and real motorcycles; cool, and again, they stop plenty well. facts about Honda’s CB500 series.” “So you dig this bike, but can’t get on board the second being that the F’s 477cc fuel- ABS adds $300, but in our hypothetical with the ADV-posing? Replace that f’in’ X Maybe. Sort of. But not really. injected, liquid-cooled parallel twin is “perfect beginner bike” application, it’s with an F” kind of thing. actually pretty mild. well worth it. Functionally, it works—but Let’s talk context. We’ve it ain’t as transparent as the ridden most of the latest higher-end stuff, of course. C-whatever offerings You even get proper-sized 17” from Honda this year, wheels, preload- adjustable front and in general are fans. suspension, and an adjustable In particular, I liked the front brake lever. CB300F a lot more than I should have, considering This all translates to a very it’s essentially the weird rideable motorcycle. It misses teenager in the Grom family, the near-bicycle flickability the beanpole kid that no one of the 300F, but not by much. can figure out why he’s so Our shorter riders found the much taller than everyone seat height and overall physical else, including his “dad.” presence of the bike manageable It’s a great round-towner, and confidence-inspiring, and but it sucks on the freeway, more advanced riders found the and the components are a F enough of a real motorcycle to little… well, the bike costs $3,999, which The uh… manageable power is actually be enjoyable. Hard to beat for six is a decent amount of cash for a weekend of a good thing. We’re firm believers in the grand… but if you’ve got another $1,500, hookers and blow and trying to forget the notion of the “beginner bike,” but what that you might want to check out the NC700X, plight of our nation, but in terms of new bike is can vary pretty wildly. And while we and you can do so back on page 11 of this bike money, it’s not a lot of cash, and that don’t really agree that new riders will truly issue. lack of cash shows up in the components. outgrow a 300 quickly, wanting a bit more Editor Surj is sorry if the preponderance bike is understandable. With that in mind, For two grand more, you can get the of in this issue leads you to believe the 500F actually represents a near-ideal there’s some kind of vast Honda-wing CB500F (or a lot more hookers and blow). beginner bike, and occupies a relatively In a not-real-surprising display of typically conspiracy squeezing us in its unseen hand. empty place in the market, between the Sometimes it just works out that way, but faulty CityBike reasoning, we had come 300s and the 650s and beyond. to the conclusion that it ought to be about we’re happy to hear thoughtful feedback 50% more fun than the 300F, based on Choosing the 500F over a 300 gets you like “don’t you idiots know how to make an the price, or if we do our ratio based on a bike that’ll handle freeways a little editorial calendar?” We look forward to your displacement, about 65% more fun. Either better, without increasing the likelihood letters. way, that’s a good ratio of increased fun and of “oh shit,” throttle-induced spills by in the overall scheme of things, probably much compared to the smaller bikes. a more sensible way to spend six grand, And it’s a smart- unless you really like hookers and blow— looking machine, too, and if that’s the case, you’ve got a problem, featuring aggressive, son. stylish lines that don’t look too freakishly Anyways…it’s hard to measure actual Transformer-y. Our percentages of fun. But we can measure bike’s matte black / weight, size, and—sort of—utility. metallic silver paint First off, at 414.4 pounds, the 500F is pretty was of good quality, well into “real motorcycle” poundage, and and looked tasteful. Or it’s basically there size-wise, too, with a so we’re told—surely 55.5” wheelbase and a 30.7” seat height. you’ve noticed by now That’s 66.4 pounds heavier and 1.2 inches that taste ain’t our longer than the 300F, with the same seat thang.

December 2016 | 17 | CityBike.com Tuscany By Vespa San Francisco Scooter Girls Ride Italy

fields. I averaged 7 hours of sleep to give my body recovery time from the vigorous sprints. I’ll admit that I did ache at times but quickly felt good once I was back on the bike, encountering the next cinematic town. We took a car ferry to the beautiful Mediterranean island of Elba, best known as the site of Napoleon's exile. Now it's Stopping for the view in Capanne. a popular vacation spot and I can see why. It’s the largest island in the Tuscan By Penni Gladstone days, I estimate there had to be millions Scooter Girl Lauren Harp, who always Photos by Penni Gladstone archipelago with dramatic ocean views of of dollars’ worth of classic Vespas dating herded the stragglers and brought up the turquoise water, similar to Marin County’s t was epic: scooting through Tuscany’s back to the Forties, accompanied by old rear wearing her orange helmet, had a drive coastal highway 1. We spent two nights lush fall landscapes, enjoying belt break. We left the scooter under a there, circumnavigating the island by its rich culture, great food, Blessed Virgin statue. The rental company, Our Irish leader Doug Lothian tells us how long day, relaxing in the evenings with drinks andI an endless supply of scooter- unaffiliated with Vespa, was unresponsive around the hotel’s large pool. we’ll be riding before our lunch stop. friendly roads. Two exhilarating and uncaring. I was told frequently that weeks riding the countryside and scoots on other tours had been reliable, and Back on the mainland, we rode past hilltop villages of northwestern assured that this vendor will not be used wind farms and thermal springs, and Italy with the Vespa Club del again if the club goes back to Tuscany. were captivated by magnificent art and Mediterraneo. architecture in the many villages and None of this would stop me from riding towns such as Lucca and Siena. An Vespa Club del Mediterraneo Italy again with this group. unexpected delight was stopping for lunch was founded in 2009 by two Road Adventures Seattle scooterists, Al Fragola and his wife Ardy Waldon Every day we hit the road Berliner Oliver Kuley and Oakland resident Fragola, who’d moved to the with the slogan FTEB: Mark Leonard ride above Massa. Greek island of Paros, where full tank, empty bladder. they started receiving requests advertisements and other two-wheel We'd often ride four to from members of the Modern Vespa forum artifacts. six hours simply because (ModernVespa.com), asking if they’d we wanted to, because organize scooter tours. Our rental Vespas were mostly end-of- we could. When we season disappointments with too many changed hotels, we had The club isn’t a business or tour agency; klicks on the klock—some of our scooters the option to follow our the members decide the next location, should have long since been retired and capable group leaders providing scooters are available. A broken down for parts. We rode mostly Al Fragola and Doug professional travel agent books the 125cc models, but those of us riding two- Lothian, but in general, itinerary for an average of 25 riders per trip, up got slightly more powerful models. Back we set our own pace and providing hotel reservations and a luggage home in SF, I ride a 300 Super so to me were encouraged to map van. Participants are free to find their own these bikes were severely underpowered. our own course. Different people, different at a former hunting lodge warmed by a way between hotels, most of which are large fireplace. The walls were decorated So there were stalls, rattles, whizzing, riding styles—find a group that fits you, located a few hours’ ride apart. My 13-day and go. with game trophies and photographs of tour cost $2,440, not including airfare. and several bikes quit working altogether. celebrities. Not that this spoiled our fun; despite My little black scoot did the best it could, The Vespa Mecca drawing one of the worst bikes Scooter Girl considering its one puny cylinder had The roadways were mostly smooth but Michelle Buggy pushed her machine to when we crossed over the mountains into We began our odyssey in Pontedera, home seen 41,000 kilometers before this trip. its limit, and was able to keep up. Another the provinces of Massa and Carrera we of Piaggio, Vespa's parent company. There It whined at 40 kmh (about 25 mph) but scoot came back to life after two days of not had a few harrowing experiences. One we toured the manufacturer's museum. smoothed out at cruising speeds. Several starting; yet another had to be abandoned horrifying moment was when we entered Knowing what vintage models sell for these times I twisted full tilt to get around the in Lucca. On the last day of the tour, hills, which are plentiful, curvy, and can be steep. The Ponte della Maddalena bridge on the Serchio River in Borgo a Mazzano, a province of Lucca. Some call it Devil’s Bridge. We all managed to find a comfort zone on our scoots, and no one took a tumble. Sometimes I imagined Jeremy Irons riding next to me on his adventure bike, or Liev Schreiber on his Vespa. Traveling always makes me feel as though I could lead a simpler life, with just a suitcase and unlimited time to explore. While the trip was touted as leisurely, for the small core group I rode with it was anything but—we rode at a brisk clip between ancient hill towns. Every day we plunged into endless bliss as we carved through mountain passes, along rivers and Vespista in Massa Marittima. December 2016 | 18 | CityBike.com a long dark tunnel. The only illumination at a cliffside bar with an Aperol Spritz, an in that cavernous space was our inadequate Italian traditional aperitif. Riding the coast through Marciana on the island of Elba. headlights. Our bikes plunged into gaping Lost & Found potholes, jarring our bodies. Keeping the group together as we passed Another challenging spot came when we through cities and villages was not a decided to stop for lunch in a village with problem because we practiced “stop and honey-colored stone walls. We made our mark.” At turns, the person behind the way to the hilltop town via a very steep rock leader would stop, wait for the others, and alleyway barely 5 feet wide—and paved point in the direction we were heading.

Vespisti stopped for a break in the No one was supposed to be left behind Piazza Garibaldi, Massa Marittima but on the first day an inexperienced turn marker left his post at a turn after deciding before continuing on the Giro d' Italia Heading Home while the Scooter Girls returned to the there couldn't be any more riders coming. in Vespa. delicious eateries of San Francisco and the He never waited for our orange-helmeted In the end, the bubble popped and we said Bay Area’s back roads. wrangler, Lauren. I also got left behind our goodbyes. The retirees went back home with two friends once when we spread to plan their next vacation and volunteer in I look forward to hearing about next out and another forgot to stop and mark. second careers. The skirt chaser went home year’s tour which will either be in Spain or We were on the side of the road Greece. Anyone can sign up but space checking maps on our phones, is limited. Current members get first when suddenly the group came Hiking past Vernazza in Cinque Terra. choice to attend but you'll have to cut charging back on the opposite someone's brakes to fill their space. side of the highway. In a comedy of errors, they had ridden the There are good people behind wrong way and still didn't realize Vespa Club del Mediterraneo— we were left behind. knowledgeable and hands-on. They're in it for the ride, the camaraderie, Having a reliable phone with map not for the money. Anyone who loves capabilities is a must. This brings two wheels would love riding with with well-worn, slippery cobblestones. me to say “Verizon sucks.” They us. If this sounds like you, check out charge quite a bit for their data ScootEurope.com. Italian drivers can be reckless as they plan and profit from subscribers’ speed down the narrow roads. It's freestyle common mistakes. I unknowingly Penni Gladstone is President of the driving Italian style: trucks and buses went way over on data by leaving San Francisco Scooter Girls, and a own the right-of-way. We tried to be polite photojournalist who has previously data turned on to check my map, to his wife. Several people left not knowing and move over if we saw a car wanting to worked on staff at the LA Times and SF and got a costly penalty. I then purchased if their homes had survived hurricane pass, but it was hard to see them coming, Chronicle and. She lives in Marin with her an additional Verizon plan at a higher rate, Matthew. The philosopher, teacher, nurse they were frequently gunning so fast. We Vespa and her R1200R-riding husband. but there was no way to tell how much and book editor; the techies, designers, and learned quickly to hold our personal space, data I was using unless I called Verizon. lawyers all went back to their home towns, and not let drivers push us off the road, but Smarter travelers had T-Mobile's One plan more than once they came frighteningly which offers unlimited service abroad. close. Some bought an inexpensive phone from Later on we encountered medieval castles, a vendor called TIM with a 3GB card, or more hilltop villages, and the vineyards of switched out their sim card at TIM for Chianti. We stayed a few days at the Terme significant savings. Bagni di Lucca, a thermal resort with a Other tools I found invaluable include spring-fed hot pool which has been enjoyed a paper map of Tuscany, by Michelin. since Etruscan and Roman times. At our Another great find is Lonely Planet's hotel, we found a pamphlet about the Tuscany Road Trips book.‪ Grotta del Vento and decided to reach the cave by riding through the protected area Foodies of Alpi Apuane Natural Park. The grotto The evenings were filled with talk of our was an underground world filled with adventurous days and politics, over the impressive stalactites and stalagmites. ever-present al dente pasta or Caprese salad. Some Stopping to take in the beauty of the people couldn't get enough vineyards in Greve in Chianti. of cinghiale (wild boar) or wild mushrooms, but the truffles were a most delicious surprise in our pastas. Daily Commuter? Weekend Rider? Poser? I'm a foodie spoiled by Bay Area chefs, and the food revolution has not reached many villages of Tuscany—I found dishes under-spiced, SUPPORT or not imaginative. Most larger towns offered a In the town of Massa Maritima, below a food coop, a welcome LANE SPLITTING 13th century church we serendipitously respite from the excessive pasta. I found it met a group of Vespisti, hardcore Italian convenient to duck in for veggies, fruit, and riders traveling the Giro D'Italia. prepared salads. When we had Wi-Fi, the most reliable source of information about We made our way to La Spezia, the restaurants came from TripAdvisor or Rick STICKERS - NEWS - RESOURCES jumping-off point to Cinque Terra, and Steves. took the train to Monterosso, where we walked the well-worn paths to Vernazza LaneSplittingIsLegal.com and Corniglia. We celebrated that evening

December 2016 | 19 | CityBike.com Illustration by Mr. Jensen “I bought the third new Indian in the Super Glide, a Big Twin with a Sportster state,” he said. “And I loved it. Soon front end. The FXRS had two front brake though I noticed that there was a tiny discs and upgraded shocks, as I recall. I oil leak at the bottom of one of the didn’t expect much. It was a Harley, after maynardmaynard HERSHONHERSHON pushrod tubes. Tiny. I could clean it all. with a tissue and forget about it, but it did not stop. It didn’t get worse, but it I rode my bike to San Francisco and rode didn’t stop. the FXRS home. On Interstate 80 just ypically, a poker run is a ride from before my exit, the Harley abruptly quit one country tavern to the next. “I took the bike to the shop three times. running. I steered onto the shoulder This one was a shop-to-shop tour They couldn’t fix it. I wasn’t disgusted or and looked the bike over, couldn’t see ofT four new, glossy motorcycle dealerships frustrated... I could have lived with that anything amiss. little leak. But Indian wouldn’t let me. with common ownership. A Highway Patrolman rolled up on his The two Harley stores on our route each “Indian gave me a new bike. The dealer Harley and asked me if I were okay. We had a customer lounge area, a couple of put the accessories I’d installed on the chatted there for a couple of minutes. He tables and four chairs apiece. The days of first bike onto the new one. A dealer told me that his own bike had quit the same the one-bulb-cave motorcycle shop are employee went with me to Motor way. He’d found a broken wire behind the over. I thought I’d miss those days more Vehicles to make sure the paperwork air clearer and fixed it. Bike ran great again. than I do. went smoothly, and he paid the fees. I didn’t lose any warranty. Nothing cost I pushed the bike home in my riding gear. I rode with three guys I met at the ride me anything. Not a nickel.” Must have been two miles. In my garage, start. Two rode Big Twin Harleys, the third I took off the air cleaner and sure enough was on a nearly new Indian Roadmaster. The three of us looked at him and there was the damn broken wire. Took We were chatting at one of those lounge one another. I thought, here is this me three minutes to reattach it —after tables when the Indian rider told us this guy telling us about Indian’s stellar pushing the bike for over an hour. story: treatment of him. That was At that point, if CityBike had Saturday. I told a few friends called and asked for their Harley “I had a Victory bagger,” he said, “and today on our Tuesday ride, and back, I’d have parted with it ‘made the mistake’ of test-riding a new now I’m telling you. If Indian happily. Indian when they began to be available hoped to promote goodwill here in Colorado. I took my wife with by their generosity, they’ve It never quit again… and never me on the ride. She loved the Indian and succeeded. failed to make me grin. I felt I insisted that I buy one.” (The three of us was a one-man parade on that looked at one another in disbelief.) Two stores later, at a suburban Harley bike. Something about riding it dealer, I got to talking with a salesperson made me feel… special, to an extent I’ve never experienced on other bikes. It was a thrill to ride. The sound, that rumble underneath about bikes that are bought new, ridden you… a few miles and sold. Remember, we I rode north to the rally where I was the were talking about Harleys—not cheap only guy in a helmet but treated like family motorcycles and probably not impulse anyway. On winding roads through the purchases. redwood trees the bike handled great. I am amazed by how many bikes are No, not like a trackday lightweight, but bought by people who are effectively non- solid and reassuring and sure-footed. And riders. They realize in short order that they intoxicatingly fun… are indeed non-riders, and sell their nearly By the time I got home, I was trying to new bikes. think of ways I could afford to buy it… and And it’s lucky for guys like us that they do of course I couldn’t. that, the salesman said. Oh, I agree, I said: Almost 30 years later, the Harley salesman I can’t afford new motorcycles. I buy used took me to a storage room so I could see his bikes. pristine ‘89 FXRS. It was blue with silver, I just bought, he said—not knowing if just like the one I rode so long ago. Oh, my. I even knew what an FXRS is—an ‘89 And it was most emphatically not for sale. FXRS with 12,000 miles on it. No! I said, Had it been for sale, I’d have been asking but it was true… myself: Do I want a 25-plus year old bike? I have a bit of history with Harley- Do I want a Harley-Davidson? Do I want Davidsons. In 1970 I bought a new this Harley-Davidson? Would I borrow Sportster, the kickstart model. I enjoyed money to buy it? it thoroughly until it was stolen from me I got out just in time. Had I stood there a less than a year later. I felt awful and never few moments longer looking at that sweet wanted a Harley again. old bike, the answers might all have been Well, almost never… yes. In ‘89 or ‘90, CityBike acquired a Harley Maynard started a Facebook page for FXRS test bike. I lived close then, just motorcyclists and road cyclists that use across the Bay from SF, and when it was blood thinners, but have continued to suggested I might ride that bike for a ride despite the added danger. If you ride couple of weeks… and attend a biker rally despite it all, please go to facebook.com/ north in redwood country, I went for it. WarfarinRangers and post something: a story or a photo. And be careful out there. The FXRS was designed to appeal to riders of imported bikes. It was based on the

December 2016 | 20 | CityBike.com At Wellsboro, the camera was eded HERTFELDERHERTFELDER placed on a large flat rock on a slope that was mostly slippery rocks planted in sheep dip. Illustration by Mr. Jensen Apparently this crew knew that some riders were pretty good at roosting— they had a few sheets of Plexiglas ogeybait McAllister got his to hold in nickname in the Marine Corps front of them when he was attached to a division should a rider thatP shipped out of San Diego with, it is run amuck in the said, 16 tons of candy bars (pogey bait) muck. and three bars of soap. My bike was lurching its way up I tightened the chain on my over us, while we riders prayed that the Pogeybait maintained his Marine dietary the hill because the countershaft motorcycle until there was enough layout crew had some brains—but the habits after returning to The World, sprocket should have been replaced weeks friction on the sloth sprocket to pull Trail Boss came up on the loudspeaker existing on a well-balanced diet of weak before. I’d had trouble enough making the the bike as I walked alongside. Pogeybait and announced that this year we were coffee, cigarettes, cheap beer, expensive rent that month, so the sprocket became was sitting there, mumbling and going down the killer hill. coughing: “Gotta get in shape. Gotta get wine and Baby Ruth bars. the victim of priorities. Pogeybait’s hand shot up instantly, in shape.” The net result was an almost perfect roll Just below the camera, my bike stopped “Where,” he asked, “is the nearest place I of fat around his midsection, which gave for good. First thing I did was shut off the I left my canteen with him because he can get some candy bars?” sure needed it. him the look of a man always prepared engine and roll the bike well off to the Get Ed’s latest, 80.4 Finish Check on to abandon ship with an inflated lifebelt side of the power line, because some of Pogeybait returned the canteen by Amazon.com! around his waist. While all of us know the riders climbing up were going on the United Parcel and none of us saw him riders who get a bit winded unloading a theory that as long as they were gaining for almost a year. The story was that he motorcycle from a van, Pogeybait was in elevation, it didn’t matter how sideways was in training and had been seen in his such poor shape he would get winded just they were. There are riders who use this neighborhood running at all hours of the trying to look over his shoulder. zig-zag technique on every hill they climb, day and night. and it’s fun to watch two of them tacking His double grunts as he drove up, set the up a slope and near-missing each other When he showed up at the Wilkesboro handbrake and shouldered the door of his every time they cross because neither one event the next year, no one recognized van open were accompanied by a wheeze wants to back off the throttle. him—he’d lost 41 pounds. He looked of relief as he slid out of the driver’s capable of competing in that year’s seat and pulled up his pants to a more Well, Pogeybait was climbing nicely until Six Days in Wales, but also capable presentable position before reaching for he tried to pass a fellow who was losing of swimming the Atlantic with his another candy bar. momentum and then finished his attempt motorcycle strapped to his back! by sliding off the back of his bike as it Surprisingly, he was an above-average reared straight up—right into Pogeybait’s We walked over together to the riders’ enduro rider with a distinctive riding lap! meeting and he surprised me by refusing style: he never removed his oversized one of the fresh donuts I had stacked on butt from the motorcycle seat—just sat From then on, Pogeybait looked more like my thumb. there and let the motorcycle do all the a grounded whale than a motorcycle rider. work. It’s possible that his unique weight Huffing, wheezing, sweat dripping off his “Gotta stay in shape for the killer hill,” he distribution lowered his motorcycle’s nose, he couldn’t do anything to get his explained. center of gravity to a few feet below bike running again. The riders’ meeting began with a local ground level. minister praying for the Lord to watch Pogeybait could ride with the best of them, but it was sad to watch him instantly go down the drain whenever he had to get off and push or lift or flop the dumb motorcycle over a few times to get it to dry land. He was in such bad shape that after getting stuck in mud, he would just sit there blaspheming and undoing every zipper and button he could reach. I had the opportunity to watch Pogeybait get drawn and quartered at the Wellsboro Canyon Riders’ enduro. That day, their powerline killer hill was Repair & Service We Ship Worldwide even more treacherous thanks to a steady rain and a camera crew from a local TV station. It’s commonly understood that riders who haven’t fallen hard in many, many months will often unload dramatically at the sight of a TV camera CALL US FIRST! being swung their direction. In my own case, I get extremely nervous Salvaged & New Parts! and shaky when I see a TV camera, because it’s usually at some snotty little Tue–Fri 10–6 Sat 9–5 section that takes more luck than skill to traverse.

December 2016 | 21 | CityBike.com dr. gregory w. FRAZIER Chief, World Adventure Affairs Desk Illustration by Mr. Jensen stop cafe on Friday night misidentified Laughable was my early adventure him as a motorcyclist (she used the word when the 305cc Honda, two-up biker) she’d had a bad experience with, and overloaded with luggage, and excitedly called the local police, blew a hole in a piston, causing who more excitedly and most impolitely me and my riding pillion to invited him to spend the weekend as spend the night oing time. their guest in the local pokey. Monday in an Indiana My wandering and sometimes morning, his wife managed a notarized city jail. Unsure footloose adventure travel fax to the judge from his well-respected whether we were D employer, documenting his presence at arrested or just acquaintance LG (short for Long Gone) and I spent several hours BS-ing and work on the purported bad boy day. moved out of the city park trading news after accidently passing When he collected his motorcycle from where we’d set each other traveling opposite directions the police impound lot, the tank bag up camp on a lonely Nevada road, that infamous and GPS were missing. He abandoned while the one for being the loneliest in America, his plans for a week of off-pavement Honda Highway 50. Being lonely, we booked adventuring in the Rockies, figuring was being rooms in the nearest cheap motel and he’d had enough adventuring for a while, repaired, using spent the evening in a local bar, tossing and vowed never to return to Kansas. back draft beer to wash down free what little popcorn, trading tales of planned and We’d both heard that another mutual money we had unplanned adventures. acquaintance, Willie T (short for left, we were Will He Travel), had been jailed at locked in a jail The evening of swilling and chilling Immigration upon entering a foreign cell with an eventually focused on tales of country via airliner. He had booked a unusual group incarceration, its risk and the price motorcycle rental and guided tour in the of Friday night sometimes paid for those unplanned country for two weeks, and all was all drunks. adventures. We each had several of the until the official thumbing through good On the upside, the Jail Tale Adventure Cranial t-shirts, the pages of his passport noticed that town constables lightly laughing at the cost we had paid a single page had been ripped out, and had decided to for each of them. then taped back in. arrest all the LG had been tossed in the slammer for a Willie T spent the next 12 hours in a working ladies weekend in Kansas. A waitress at a truck locked toilet (Immigration’s holding walking the streets tank, their office not having a jail cell) that night, of which there until the two officials with holstered were many. The ladies were guns escorted him back to a return flight locked in a single cell across from where he’d departed. the aisle from us two lightweight adventurists. The fallen doves spent It was the end of a bad juju adventure the evening laughing while trying to they had spent together, that he and his day for the guided tour rider. Not only embarrass us. My Quaker traveling soon-to-be-ex were done, or better put in had he spent a hot, smelly night in pal prayed to close off his hearing and his words, “Doing that kind of time was an airless toilet, but being kept from averted his eyes, while I encouraged long gone.” entering the country meant he had the ladies to proceed to excess. This Dr. Frazier’s all-color coffee table book, missed his non-refundable guided tour included tossing their underwear into and accompanying motorcycle rental, DOWN AND OUT IN PATAGONIA, our cell and exposing certain body parts. KAMCHATKA AND TIMBUKTU, and had to apply for a new passport from The X-rated party lasted until the boss his home country. Our best beer-guess available at MototorBooks.com, is the jailer shut it down by turning out the first-ever first-hand chronicle of a never- was his adventure doing time had cost lights. him $7,000. ending motorcycle ride by “the world’s In the morning we were all released. The most cerebral motorcyclist,” and is highly My own night in a Honduras jail cell was ladies paid their fines, but for me and my recommended by Grant Johnson of bested by LG’s weekend as a guest of Los riding pal there was no charge. I’d made HorizonsUnlimited.com. Angeles Police Department, after being a few new lady-friends and promised busted while visiting a music studio to someday return, which I am still when the police raided the place without waiting to do. I suspect my riding pal a valid warrant. Monday, after the judge has purposefully vectored widely around tossed all the charges and cut loose the that city in the years since our adult- entire music and production team and themed adventure. their visitor, LG returned to where he’d left his motorcycle parked, only to find it LG recounted how he had once bought had been towed for over-parking. a motorcycle, using the money he and his wife had saved for a new refrigerator At least when I was let out of the and matching stove. His wife was so slammer after a night in a squalid fried upon learning where the money Honduran jail cell, having paid my had gone that she demanded he sleep From 3:14 Daily $90.00 fine for taking a policeman’s in the garage with his new adventure gun away from him when he pointed motorcycle until a man with a badge it at me, my motorcycle and all the served him with a “get out” order. It was Valencia @ 25th luggage were intact, parked in front of winter and the windowless, unheated the police station where I had left it the garage leaked water and cold air badly. night before. LG had gotten stung with a As LG strapped his travel gear on the parking ticket, taxi fare to the impound motorcycle to get out, he said he was 415-970-9670 lot and a substantial towing charge. warmed by knowing that he and the new motorcycle had bonded over the time

December 2016 | 22 | CityBike.com and box Artwork by Sam Devine few things— samsam DEVINEDEVINE trucks whiz ok, most by mere feet things—that away. The had seemed adaptors exhilarating aren’t in the bag, while they were though! Dammit! happening had turned Why?! But there are out hard to see on a few zip ties—thank screen; difficult to tell god—and after about that a hairpin turn had ten minutes the curved at all aside from camera is dangling a little wobble in the precariously from a yellow divider line. And rear turn signal but the lean angle of the bike facing the scenic side hadn’t been as evident. of the seashore at Things that seemed least. he bike is ready to go. Tire thoroughly remarkable pressure is good. Chain is lubed. Signaling back into in real life had come Gas is topped off. The jacket’s the lane, the rider across as barely Tzipped up, helmet strapped on and gloves thinks back on other impressive on an iPhone pulled tight against the wrists. The key sits trips. Times when screen. in the ignition of several hundred pounds the moss hung like But there, now that the of chrome-coated boom canister and whiskers on the road was done, surely blast-off wheels. Miles of gently curving trees, long, tall green the camera had captured pavement stretch out under the cloudless wizards, swaying the mind-blowing sky of a bluebird day—not too hot, not too in the breeze by the movies and ingenious cold. It’s go time. roadside. Sighting imagery to impress the turns, watching out But wait. What about the camera?! The friends on Facebook. for rocks in the cliff- camera isn’t on! Gloves and helmet are home. But it was still important to capture Parking the bike, taking side curves. The heightened pulse of blood ripped back off with a thoughtless urgency this road. off the helmet, it was time to run upstairs, in the veins. Stopping by a dusty turn out that turns the simple task into a juggling look at the footage and find out how the and jumping into a forest lake, listening to This road is epic. It’s not like those act. A glove is shoved under one arm while ride had been. another falls to the pavement. The helmet the wind rustle the trees, the water lapping tourists, GoPros on their rental bikes camera is the focus now. Turn it on. Select by the shore. Then a memory within a downtown. Way cooler than those moms Sam is our SF-based columnist. He mode. Perhaps a time lapse of today? memory surfaces, recalling a New Year’s with their stroller cams. Surely this would motorbikes, kitesurfs, and picks guitars. Perhaps just a standard video? kiss, how sweet, how flashy. Strange the produce some dazzling computer cinema. Get a copy of his book, “Fifty Rides,” at way that memories come flooding through Hopefully it would be better than some of SamDevine.com. Wait! How about a time lapse of escaping the brain like water washing out a trail, the other shots from before. In the past a the City, getting free from the traffic, derailing the train of thought. watching the gridlock fade away like melting ice from the front fender?! And But where were? What was the focus? Oh, then video of the best twisties? Yes! Yes! right, the camera. And riding motorcycles. Scorsese, eat your heart out! Yep, still riding a bike. Time to turn the camera back towards the road and set it up Now the helmet and gloves go back on. for video. Stopping again on the side of the The kickstand goes up and the bike road, rearranging equipment and going lane-splits away from town. The road again. Then stopping again to change stretches out ahead. The bike purrs like video cards. Then stopping just once more an atomic kitten and the rider is free to be sure the camera’s recording. to… to… to bend over, peering into the sideview mirror, jerking the bike around There was probably plenty of space on haphazardly, making sure that the camera the memory card, but it’s better to be is taking periodic pictures as planned. certain—the videos sure take up a lot of space. And it takes a long time to cut them As the bike rounds a corner, it occurs that down and into something cool to watch. capturing the beautiful ocean vista to Otherwise you have to tell your friends the right would be much better than the to “wait, wait, wait for it,” through fifteen boring, car-choked straightaway. The bike minutes of boooriiing. There was already pulls to the side of the road, stopping on a ton of footage sitting on the computer at a narrow, glass strewn shoulder as SUVs HELIMOT Our best-selling glove. Made entirely in the Buffalo Pro Fremont, California. All deerskin, which all deerskin glove will keep you warmer when it’s cold and cooler when it’s warm. This is as close to an all-year-round glove as you can get in the Bay Area. And it’s very, very comfortable. We repair what we make. If your dog eats one glove, we can sell you just one glove. Further, if you have fat hands and short fingers, or skinny hands and long fingers, we can probably 45277 Fremont Blvd, Ste 7 help you. Fremont CA 94538 510-252-1509 [email protected] www.helimot.com

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December 2016 | 24 | CityBike.com Locals Only:

MOTOR WORKS BMW PARTS Bruce Prater’s Take a European trip this year! Visit www.motorworks.co.uk DR650 • Huge range of new and used parts and accessories for all models from 1970 onwards • UK’s largest independent, 25 years experience By Surj Gish • Competitive prices, fast shipping Photos by Surj Gish • Expert and friendly advice available • Trade customers welcome Longtime readers may remember a cover story a couple years back, entitled “Geezers On Triples,” (February 2012) in which two gentlemen of a certain age, Kim Clark and Bruce Prater, talked about their new triples: Kim with his Street Triple and Bruce with his FZ-09, the first Quality Motorcycles in Northern California. Since then, Bruce, 235 Shoreline Hwy. who like many of us has a hard time Mill Valley CA (415) 381-5059 leaving “well enough” alone (his wife rides We’re not afraid of your old bike a street legal TTR125, ferchrissake) has busied himself with one of his DR650s. EVENT SERVICES That’s right—one of his DR650s. The ANNOUNCING: “DUFFYDUZZ “It really, really handles well. The 17” A rack with a little pack on it returns a Promotions” other is a “really nice ’07 that’s set up for If you’re planning a M/C event of any sort, whether an Open House, a long distance dual-sporting.” tires… makes all the difference in the little of that frump, but that’s where Bruce Special Sale Event, a Competition Event or even a Rally, a “pleasant but world. That shortens up your steering keeps his sunglasses: “Gotta put on my not pushy” voice (and your choice of music) can make a huge difference in the excitement and remembrance of your event. When I asked him, “Why the DR650?” geometry from 29 ½ to 26 ½, which fake Ray-Bans,” he joked, chuckling as he Have P.A. / Will Travel... he grinned and told me of all the DRs is sportbike. And then with the bigger pulled ‘em out for photos. I have been “The Voice” of Ducati Island at Moto G.P. (‘98 - ‘06) the he’s owned over the years: “I’ve always brake rotor, you’ve got more braking… Wilseyville Hare Scrambles (‘98 - ‘12) ...Most recently; La Ducati Day, La If you’re asking why we’re featuring a Honda, MOTORAMA Car Show, Lafayette, sub’ Announcer at Continental loved the way DRs the power on it is Sports Car Challenge Laguna Seca, Santa Rosa flattrack for Circle Bell DR650 mostly modded with bolt-on Motorsports... and more... References and resume available. Find me handle. I’ve had one absolutely perfect. It on FaceBook: “Duffyduzz Promotions” for all contact info - or - call 510- since 1996, since they goodies here in Locals Only, where we’ve 292-9391 - or - E/M: [email protected] comes out of corners, redesigned ‘em. They’re real nice. You don’t recently covered stuff like BMWMCSF’s like magic on twisties, so have to worry about HPT and Terry Otton’s Mulder-built easy to ride. Hardly any the front end coming Triumph flat tracker—builds both maintenance.” up, you don’t need extreme, and extremely pricey—I have two answers for you. Bruce says “DR” with a traction control. You bit of a drawl and more First, we’ve also featured emphasis on the “D,” stuff like a bolt-on-built which makes it sound Grom, and second, Locals cooler, in a Sam Elliot Only is about cool people kinda way. and cool bikes. Bruce and his DR cover both of He goes on, telling me those—he’s a likeable guy how he’d long thought with a strong sensibility that a more street- for smart and cool bikes oriented DR would be a (which we here at CityBike complement to his dirty share) and his DR is one of DR, how he picked up a can concentrate on the cleanest, most factory- leftover 2014 DR650SE to start with in looking “builds” we’ve seen June of this year. riding. And at the end of the day, I’m in a while. “I’d always wanted to do this, and they way less tired on But the ultimate answer were closing these bikes out at $5,999, the DR then the to that question is which is a bargain. At this point in my life, FZ-09.” another question, in Black something that I’ve thought about for that Lightning Motorcycle Café many years, why not jump off and do it?” Another subtly important style: did I envy Bruce? Did I want his bike? Did I start Get CityBike At first glance, you might think he didn’t component of Bruce’s DR is the mini- do much to the bike—it’s pretty subtle fairing, originally intended for an FZ- looking for a DR650 on Craigslist the delivered to your door stuff, and if you didn’t know Suzuki 09. From the front of the bike it has a moment I got home? by the meanest, most doesn’t make a supermoto 650, you’d be serious, sporting look, and from the side, Yep. psychotic, well-armed excused for thinking it’s a stock bike. the fairing’s lines flow nicely with the branch the government lines of the tank, But look closer, and it becomes clearer. has to beat you with. contributing to The most obvious thing is the wheels— the “this thing was That’s right! We’ll send the man black Warp 9 17” supermoto mags, made this way” to your mail hole once a month sourced from ProCycle (ProCycle.us) vibe. for an entire year delivering the who also advised Bruce on much of his latest issue of CityBike. build. At $1,699, these wheels are roughly Beyond that, 28% of the cost of Bruce’s DR, and more Bruce hit the bike Go to CITYBIKE.COM than 50% of the asking price of a few with a variety of to subscribe decent-looking used ones currently on small, sensible Or send a check for $30 to: Craigslist. But damn, they’re sweet— improvements. PO Box 18738 aggressively airy and modern-looking. Different fenders Oakland, CA 94619 They look even more expensive, and hey, make the bike that price includes rotors, sprocket and a look less frumpy, be sure to include your name, address, & phone number! caliper relocation bracket for the front. especially out back.

December 2016 | 25 | CityBike.com Tankslapper

Back From The Sac and a couple—and by a couple I mean two Thanks for sharing, Big J. Or should we say or three spectators. So, obviously there’s “big j” for ironic contrast and the full e e Jerry McHugh, one of the riders that joined a peak in interest on something, so we’ll cummings effect? us on our jaunt up to the CMSP Advisory figure that out.” Committee Meeting at CHP HQ in The Define “Gettin’ Lucky” Sac (“CMSP Advisory Committee Fall ’16 We’ll do it again next year—getting Julian Orr of Pesky-dero sent us a Meeting: Good, Bad, & Ugly” more regular riders to this letter handwritten (obviously with a – Pit Stops, meeting and educated about fountain pen, which we have several November the issues (and moto-issues of ‘round CityBike World HQ) in 2016) back in general) is one our core what might be the most elegant in October, “causes.” That, and riding script we’ve ever seen, on his followed up fast and taking chances— own letterhead. Once we got via email: of course. over the awesomeness of that, Thanks for An Engine So Cold we had a good chuckle at his inviting avid No Fire Could Ever question: CB readers to Jensen Mr. by Illustration join in a ride Warm It With reference to the quiz “So You Think You’re A Biker?”, offered by Where are we going with this? Oh yeah… and attendance We’re not sure what it well, longtime reader Paul Powell of at the October is about CityBike that the Re-Cycle Garage, their second question is “Have you had sex on a bike?” Sacramento, who will henceforth be known 5th CMSP inspires poetry, but it as PP from The Sac (sorry, Paul, we can’t Advisory seems our readers are Do they mean while you were riding, or while help ourselves) picked up our October issue Committee often moved to verse, it was parked? It makes a difference, you at Zen House up North, and sent us some Meeting—it and love to share with know. photos: was informative, us. Jason “Big J” Frazee fun, inspiring, recently sent in this Good question, Julian, and perhaps linked I was on a bike trip of the northern section compelling, lovely piece: to other questions in the quiz, like #5: of the PCH with a good riding buddy and thought “Have you crashed?” picked up this month's paper at the Zen been awhile provoking, and way more important than Here’s what we think: after we all took the motorcycle shop in Point Arena. We then I ever thought it would be. And no-longer- back road, highway or other. asphalt, sand test and had a staff meeting believing that 'there is no such thing as a free or dirt. about the results, we arrived lunch' as my lunch was ' free' (and fun too) chrome, paint, plastic or rust. gears and at the conclusion that the and I thank you for that! grease. test would be more accurate makes no difference when firing the beast. My mental wheels are turning today on how if it employed a value-based I can best become involved and impactful on rumble. sputter. choke. try again. points scale, rather than the MC safety - hoping I can make a contribution sitting too long. that’s a sin. current one-question, one- in some small way - stay tuned. whack the throttle twice to feed the thirsty point scale. Your inquiry is a throat. perfect example of why. Lastly, I wish to thank you (Surj, An, and all deep breath. drip of sweat. kick hard. the CityBike staff) for keeping the magazine Here’s how we’d score the gear up. brain bucket on, gloves and cloak. going, writing informative technical and question of scoring on a ride forever. (or until the dollars’ worth of legislative related articles—all while doing bike. If the answer is “yes, old gas runs dry) so in a most entertaining and enlightening while parked,” one point. manner! Now, before you fire up your keyboard to “Yes, while riding,” two bitch about our poor editing, we’ll point points, with a bit of yuk yuk Thanks for your kind words, and thanks out that we’ve left Big J’s unconventional at the “while riding” part. rode out to the pier for a quick bite and "read again for riding with us, Jerry! Lunch orthography in place—it’s his art, after all. “Yes, while riding, without crashing,” gets the latest with a view." Thought you might on the CityBike corporate card (actually And we’re sorry if you struggled to read it three points, partly for skills and partly enjoy this pic. I've been following City Bike split between us, BARF and the AMA, without that goddamn cursed Staind song for answering completely. The two-point since I moved to CA back in 1985. Take care we must admit) is small repayment for burrowing into the back of your brain, answer leaves us wondering, after all. and keep up the great work. Thanks. helping us open the eyes of The Man— again. If you didn’t know that song and one of the highlights of the meeting was In case y’all missed the quiz in question, it You’re right, PP—we did enjoy those were moved to Google it and listen, well, when Assistant Chief Chris Costigan was a 41-point test (“So You Think You’re shots. We’ve got a thing for the coast, and we’re sorry for that, too. kicked off with what sounded like a bit of A Biker?” – News, Clues & Rumors, old (and new!) GSes. Hell, we wish we disbelief: “Bigger turnout that we’re used October 2016) cooked up by the crew at were heading north for some chow with a to. Usually it’s just committee members, Santa Cruz’s Re-cycle Garage, intended to view right now, instead of working. Which help you understand how much of a real is what we call this… sometimes. Thanks biker you really are. You can find a PDF of for sharing your photos! the October issue (with the test on page 3, yo!) on our back issues page at CityBike. com/back. Let us know how you score! Yuk yuk. Send Us Your Stuff We’ve Got Friends In Low Places. Like Sacramento We really shouldn’t talk so much shit about The Sac—after all, we’ve got a lot of connections up that way, and some of us have spent a good chunk of our lives in that smothering heat. But once we started coming up with these great names for An, [email protected] who runs our Sacramento “operation,” stuff like leader of The Sac—well, we just PO Box 18783 couldn’t stop. Oakland, CA 94619

December 2016 | 26 | CityBike.com Look at those curves! Gwynne treats our CB500F to some beautifully empty North Bay roads. Photo: Max Klein