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Paying for Sex: a Socio-Cultural Exploration of Men Who Engage in Sexual Commerce

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Paying for Sex: a Socio-Cultural Exploration of Men Who Engage in Sexual Commerce The University Of Sheffield. Paying for Sex: A socio-cultural exploration of men who engage in sexual commerce Natalie Hammond Department of Sociological Studies Thesis presented for Doctor of Philosophy March 2011 Funded by the Economic Social Research Council Abstract This thesis presents a sociological account of men who pay for sex through the lens of relationships and sexuality. By addressing the traditional absence of male clients within research on the sex industry, it aims, first, to move research away from moralistic discourses and simplistic motivational accounts, and towards an analysis of the social context of paying for sex, in which both sexual commerce and the wider intimate sphere have changed. Second, exploring this social context, focusing on relationships and sexuality, it attends to the broader cultural formations of heterosexual male identities in contemporary sexual culture. Thirty five male clients of female sex workers were recruited using an internet message board and a local newspaper. Interviews were conducted either; face- to-face, over the phone or using MSN. Overall, I argue that paying for sex needs to be understood within the context of being a heterosexual man in contemporary sexual culture. Recognition of the social and cultural environments in which men perform their multiple identities draws attention to the interactional nature of identity, the influence of resources from the wider environment when crossing and maintaining identity boundaries, and the management strategies of conflicting identities. By exploring commercial sex as a heterosexual practice, experience and identity, which transitions over time, I argue that commercial sex allows men to sidestep the 'bargain', 'burden' and 'mundane' elements of non-commercial heterosexual life. Yet, paradoxically, these elements seep across the non-commercial/commercial boundary, 1 challenging discourses that place them in opposition. Finally I propose an alternative view of gendered power relations, emphasising the contextual and fluid nature of power which is dependent on resources available to either party. However, despite the traditionally male domain of rational thought, which initially appears to allow men to take part in commercial sex, exercising power in this way can bear a cost in terms of emotional fall-out, a disrupted masculine identity and a spoiled identity. 2 Contents Page ~~ct 1 Contents 3 List of Tables 7 Acknowledgements 8 Preface 11 Chapter 1 - Introduction 13 Aims, Objectives and Research Questions 13 Rationale 15 Including Myself 18 Understanding Men who pay for Sex 23 The Wider Social and Political Environment 28 Outline of Thesis 29 Chapter 2 - Studies on Commercial Sex: Past and Present 33 Language and Definitions 34 Feminist Debates 36 Shifting Markets 48 Male Clients: What do we Know? 57 Constructing Clients: Contamination, Control and Political Implications 63 New research Paradigms 73 Pervasive Power 89 3 Chapter 3 - Understanding Men who pay for Sex: Theoretical Tools 101 Why Identity? 103 Theorizing Identity 105 Constructing Identities 106 The Nature of Identities . 111 Spoiled Identities 117 Power 123 Power and the Social Sciences 123 Feminist Perspectives of Gendered Power 131 Heterosexuality, Transitions and Relationships 140 Organizing Heterosexuality 140 Understanding Intimate Life 146 Living Intimate Life 156 Chapter 4 - Methods 175 Research Questions 175 Reflexively Approaching Sex Work Research 176 The Self and the Study 182 Methodological Challenges to Sex Work Research 183 Creating Sexual Stories 196 Introducing the Men 215 Leaving the Field and Distance 217 Chapter 5 - Identity 227 'I'm not a man's man': Reflexivity and Difference 227 4 'Crossing the chasm': Boundaries and Becoming a Client 233 Boundary Work 248 Multiple Identities 265 Conflicting Identities 268 Chapter 6 - Heterosexuality, Transitions and Relationships 287 Shifting Sex 287 Heterosexuality: Experiences and expectations 298 Choosing Commercial Sex 320 Commercial Heterosexuality 330 Becoming and Being a 'regular' 343 Blurring of Boundaries 354 Chapter 7 - Power 363 Exploitation and Respect 365 Layered Model of Power 372 Time 373 Resources 382 Costs 413 Widening the Gaze 424 Chapter 8 - Conclusion 435 Sexual Commerce 437 Heterosexuality 442 Implications for Policy 444 Going forward 426 5 Appendices 1- Recruitment Call- Request Posted on Online Message Board 451 2- Recruitment Call- Local Paper News Story Requesting Participants 453 3- Further Recruitment Call - Additional Message Posted on Online Message Board 455 4- Information Letter Sent to Potential Participants 456 5- Sample Questions 461 6- Informed Consent Form 462 7- Interview Schedule Initial 464 8- Interview Schedule Final 470 9- Participant Profiles 477 10- Coding Framework 487 Bibliography 489 6 List of Tables Table 1. Locations visited Table 2. Length of involvement and age first started 7 Acknowledgements I would like to take this opportunity to thank a number of people who have supported me. I would like to thank both of my supervisors, first Jenny Hockey, for her tireless support and kindness from start to finish. I would also like to thank Richard Jenkins for going above and beyond the requirements of a second supervisor. It has been a privilege to make this journey with such great academic minds and caring people alongside. Within the department of Sociological Studies I would like to thank Clive Norris for his belief that the department should be supporting 'challenging' research. Lorna Warren for her words of encouragement, Tom Clarke for listening to me whinge, and Gill and Janine for their humour and continuous boosts of morale. I would also like to thank my friends who have taken this journey with me, Julie, Jo, Albert, Vicky and Therese; you all truly understand what it has been like. I would like to thank all the men who have made this study possible. I acknowledge the great leap of faith that all you took in trusting me with your stories. Without your hard work, this thesis would never have been possible. Finally I would like to thank my family and friends. Claire, Claire, Chi, Lauren and Mel, thank you for your support and continuing friendship. Thank you for continuing to ring back when I have not returned your calls and giving me the ability to randomly wander in and out of our friendship and social arrangements, safely knowing that you would still be there. Tom, where do I 8 start! I cannot list or describe the amount of support you have given me, so I will not even begin to try. I hope you know that I will be eternally grateful for your ability to put up with my ratty temper tantrums, as well as your unfaltering support and unquestionable faith in my ability, even during the darkest days. Last but not least, my parents Janet and Ian, and my sister Chloe. Again words fail to detail and express my gratitude towards the level of support you have all offered. Chloe, you have kept me grounded, as always, with your own unique words of encouragement. My parents, your constant love and absolute belief in me have been incredible. So, for everything you have done in allowing me to undertake this experience and make this thesis possible, I dedicate it to you. 9 10 Preface Given the proliferation offorms of commercial sex, the scarcity of research - except on 'prostitution '- is remarkable. Thefocus is usually on personal motivations, the morality of the buying-and-selling relationship, stigma, violence and disease prevention. Questions of desire and love are usually sidelined; relationships are rarely contextualised culturally or conceived as complex; concrete sexual issues are hardly dealt with. Commercial sex is usually ... treated only as a moral issue [neglecting to acknowledge} the complex socio-cultural contexts where the meaning of buying and selling sex is not always the same (Agustin, 2007: 403). 11 12 Chapter 1 - Introduction Aims. Objectives and Research Questions Responding to Agustin's call for research concerning the sex industry! that addresses the complexities of relationships and sexuality, this thesis presents a sociological account of men who pay for sex seen through the lens of relationships and sexuality. It aims, first, to move commercial sex research, away from hegemonic moralistic discourses and two-dimensional motivational accounts, and towards an analysis of the social context of paying for sex, in which both sexual commerce and the intimate sphere of wider society have changed. Second, exploring this social context, focusing on relationships and sexuality, it attends to the broader cultural formations of heterosexual male identities in contemporary sexual culture. Its objectives are to examine the commercial and non-commercial relationship experiences and sexual lives of men who pay for sex, before, during (and at times after) their involvement in commercial sex. Challenging the notion that commercial and non-commercial experiences exist in separate spheres, the parallels, dichotomies and leakage, between these commercial and non-commercial experiences will be explored. My approach generates the following research questions: 1. What can researching men who pay for sex tells us about being a man in wider society? I Chapter 2 will include a fuller discussion on the language and terminology chosen especially the sex worker/ prostitute binary. 13 2. To what extent can research on men who pay for sex tell us about the cultural formations of masculine identity and the contention that men perform multiple identities which they construct through
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