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Breaking the mold.
Madame Ridiculous Four Zinas Lucy’s Book & Lady Sublime A Story of Mothers A Critical Edition of Lucy New Essays and Daughters on the Mack Smith’s Family Memoir Mormon Frontier Elouise Bell Lavina Fielding Anderson, ed. Martha Sonntag Bradley 946 pp. $44.95, 1-56085-137-6 153 pp. $14.95, 1-56085-147-3 Mary Brown Woodward 497 pp. $34.95, 1-56085-141-4
ere are ten women who defy stereotyping—authors as well as their subjects. Consider Zina HHuntington Young, president of the church-wide Relief Society, who stumped for women’s suffrage and counted among her friends Elizabeth Cady Stanton. And then there’s Lucy Mack Smith whose leadership while the men were away at Zion’s Camp is inspiring. And Elouise Bell’s portrayal of Patty Sessions’ pioneering business venture. These are stories that deserve to be told and retold and preserved in the hearts of our daughters (www.signaturebooks.com, 800-356-5687).
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MORMON EXPERIENCE, SCHOLARSHIP, ISSUES, & ART July 2001 Issue 119
FEATURES 30 Stacy Burton ...... TOWARD A NEW MORMON CULTURAL STUDIES: OR TEN BOOKS I WISH SOMEONE (ELSE) WOULD WRITE 35 Eric Samuelsen ...... GADIANTON 66 Eric Samuelsen ...... ME, GADIANTON, AND BYU
POETRY 16 Mark Mitchell ...... SANCTUARY 29 Marden J. Clark...... TO BRIAN, LYING DYING SUNSTONE (ISSN 0363-1370) is published by The Sunstone 34 Star Coulbrooke...... AT THE MAGDALENA MISSION Foundation, a non-profit corporation with no official 65 Robert J. Holt ...... THE NATURAL ARCHES (NEAR MOAB, UTAH) connection to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Articles represent the opinions of the writers only. 72 Doug McNamee...... BROTHERS 78 Ward Kelley ...... EMMETT DEEP WITHIN ETERNITY SUNSTONE is indexed in Religion Index One: Periodicals, the Index to Book Reviews in Religion, Religion Indexes: RIO/RIT/IBBR 1975– on CD-ROM, and the ATLA Religion Database, published by COLUMNS the American Theological Library Association, 250 S. Wacker Dr., 16th Flr., Chicago, IL 60606 7 ...... ANNOUNCEMENT: Thank you, Elbert Peck! (e-mail: [email protected], WWW: http://atla.com/). 8 Dan Wotherspoon ...... FROM THE EDITOR: Celebrating the Gap Submissions may be on IBM-PC compatible computer diskettes 10 Sunstone Board of Trustees ...... FROM THE SUNSTONE FOUNDATION BOARD (WordPerfect format), on double-spaced typed manuscripts, or by e-mail. Submissions should not exceed 8,000 words and OF TRUSTEES: Open, Independent, Responsible must be accompanied by a signed letter giving permission for 12 L. Rex Sears ...... IN MEMORIAM: Peter Clare Appleby the manuscript to be filed in the Sunstone collection at the University of Utah Marriott Library (all literary rights are retained 14 Paul Swenson ...... TURNING THE TIME OVER TO: Gladys and by authors). Manuscripts will not be returned; authors will be Thurl: The Changing Face of Mormon Diversity notified concerning acceptance within sixty days. 17 Charlotte H. England ...... PILLARS OF MY FAITH: The Pillars, Posts, and SUNSTONE is interested in feature- and column-length articles Beams of My Faith relevant to Mormonism from a variety of perspectives, news stories about Mormons and the LDS church, and short reflections and commentary. Poetry submissions should have one poem per CORNUCOPIA page, with the poet’s name and address on each page; a self- addressed, stamped envelope should accompany each 20 Devery S. Anderson ...... WE THANK THEE, O GOD, FOR A PROPHET: Make submission. Short poems—haiku, limericks, couplets, and one- Good Memories Daily liners—are very welcome. Short stories are selected only through 22 William B. Quist...... A PEARL OF GREAT PRICE: They Are All Good in the annual Brookie and D. K. Brown Memorial Fiction Contest (submission deadline: 30 June 2002; $5 fee per story). Their Place 22 John Sillito ...... TWENTY YEARS AGO IN SUNSTONE: Eternal Life Letters for publication should be identified. SUNSTONE does not acknowledge receipt of letters to the editor. Letters addressed Begins Now to specific authors will be forwarded, unopened, to them. 24 Marilyn Bushman-Carlton ...... MY CREED: To Receive the World Upon request by subscribers, SUNSTONE will not provide a 26 Bill Martin ...... CYBERSAINTS: The Upbuilding of Zion subscriber’s address to mail list solicitors. 27 Jason Hardy ...... MARGIN NOTES: Eyes that Look like God’s Send all correspondence and manuscripts to: SUNSTONE 40 Mark England ...... ARTIST’S NOTE 343 N. Third West 68 Douglas Poll Ridge...... MISSION LEGACY: Learning to Breathe Easier: My Salt Lake City, UT 84103-1215 801/355-5926 South African Mission, 1964-1966 fax: 801/355-4043 73 Edgar C. Snow, Jr...... LIGHTER MINDS: The Ten Commandments of email: [email protected] Mormon Humor United States subscriptions to SUNSTONE are $36 for 6 issues, 80 Elder James E. Talmage ...... AN OLIVE LEAF: We Proclaim the Present God $65 for 12 issues, and $90 for 18 issues. Six-issue international subscriptions are $36 (U.S.) for Canada, Mexico, and for surface mail to all other countries. International airmail REVIEWS subscriptions are $8 extra per issue. Bona fide student and 77 Holly Welker ...... Riptide by Marion Smith missionary subscriptions are $10 less than the above rates. 78 Eric Freeze ...... Falling toward Heaven by John Bennon A $10 service charge will be deducted for all cancellations. 79 M. D. Nelson...... Downwinders: An Atomic Tale by Curtis Oberhansly and Dianne Nelson Oberhansly Printed by A “Green” Shop
Copyright © 2001, The Sunstone Foundation. All rights reserved. Cover Art Mark England Printed in the United States of America. FINAL2-9.qxd 7/10/01 4:07 PM Page 2
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YEA, YEA NAY, NAY
his full recovery. Founded in 1974 READER RE-ENGAGED SCOTT KENNEY 1975–1978 Though he will deny it, my experience is ALLEN D. ROBERTS 1978–1980 HAVE been a member of the Mormon that Elbert Peck’s life has been in equal peril PEGGY FLETCHER 1978–1986 DANIEL RECTOR 1986–1991 I Church for my entire life. For the last six of a different sort. His stepping away is to me ELBERT EUGENE PECK 1986–2001 years, I have been a subscriber to SUNSTONE a relief. It is time. Elbert: May your burnout Advisor ELBERT EUGENE PECK Magazine. Three years ago, in my 60th year soon vanish and you fully enjoy the fruits of Editor DAN WOTHERSPOON on this planet, I disengaged from the Church your labors. Associate Editors of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is im- After all is said about the contributions of JANE ENGLAND CAROL B. QUIST possible for me to determine the degree to these two (a daunting task should anyone Typesetting/Layout which SUNSTONE contributed to this deci- make the attempt), they are both, for me, ex- NATHAN BANG sion, if in fact it contributed at all. However, I emplars of the difference one person can Section Editors MICHAEL AUSTIN, book reviews had begun to wonder whether or not make in this world. PHYLLIS BAKER, fiction contest SCOT DENHALTER, cybersaints SUNSTONE had anything of interest to me, let The past months have been unusually DIXIE PARTRIDGE, poetry alone anything of relevance. This question stressful for the Sunstone staff and board. MARY ELLEN ROBERTSON, women’s studies NELSON WADSWORTH, historical photographs was answered in the latest edition of the Few know the price these folks have paid to Editorial Assistant magazine (SUNSTONE, April 2001). keep Sunstone alive— especially Carol Quist, BEVERLY HOPPE HUGO OLAIZ Elbert Peck, in his final piece as editor William Stanford, and Dan Wotherspoon. Contributing Columnists MICHAEL AUSTIN, EUGENE ENGLAND and publisher, summarizes my feelings in From the bottom of my heart, friends, thank MARYBETH RAYNES, MATT WORKMAN one short sentence: “Mormonism doesn’t you. Correspondents BRIAN KAGEL, BRIAN EVENSON, ALISON TAKENAKA, work for every good person; for some the fit At one time, the Lord said he would “send BRYAN WATERMAN, HOLLY WELKER just isn’t right, and that social fact mitigates a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, Cartoonists CALVIN GRONDAHL and PAT BAGLEY its exclusive claims.” I only wish I had nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the Much-appreciated Volunteers thought of that myself several years ago. In words of the LORD.” Not directed at DEVERY ANDERSON, PHYLLIS BAKER VIRGINIA BOURGEOUS, JOHN HATCH, BARBARA HAUGSOEN any event, the current issue seems to contain SUNSTONE but nevertheless apropos for LEANN HILLAM, ERIC LYNN JONES enough material that is both of interest and Sunstoners, is what follows a few verses later: STEVE MAYFIELD, WILLIAM B. QUIST, WENDY SILVER relevance in my life to justify my decision “...I [will] raise up the tabernacle of David (made a number of years ago) to extend my that is fallen, and close up the breaches subscription for several more years. thereof; and I will raise up his ruins, and I THE SUNSTONE FOUNDATION PRESTON BISSELL will build it as in the days of old...” The mission of The Sunstone Foundation is to sponsor Eau Claire, Wisconsin “Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, open forums of Mormon thought and experience. Under the motto, “Faith Seeking Understanding,” we examine that the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and express the rich spiritual, intellectual, social, and and the treader of grapes him that soweth artistic qualities of Mormon history and contemporary RENEWED HOPE life. We encourage humanitarian service, honest inquiry, seed; and the mountains shall drop sweet and responsible interchange of ideas that is respectful of HOW lovely was the morning . . . wine, and all the hills shall melt. all people and what they hold sacred. O that the new issue of SUNSTONE “And I will bring again the captivity of my Board of Trustees arrived. people Israel, and they shall build the waste J. FREDERICK (TOBY) PINGREE, chair D. JEFF BURTON, STAN CHRISTENSEN cities, and inhabit them, and they shall plant JULIE CURTIS EUGENE ENGLAND, JORDAN KIMBALL EDWARD L. KIMBALL, J. BONNER RITCHIE Hail to the brightness of SUNSTONE’S vineyards, and drink the wine thereof; they MARY ELLEN ROBERTSON, MICHAEL STEVENS glad morning! shall also make gardens, and eat the fruit of MARK D. THOMAS, KATHY WILSON, EARL WUNDERLI Business Manager Joy to the lands that in darkness have them. WILLIAM STANFORD lain! “And I will plant them upon their land, Sunstone Mercantile Director CAROL B. QUIST Hushed be the accents of sorrow and and they shall no more be pulled up out of 2001 Symposiums mourning. their land which I have given them, saith the MOLLY BENNION, Northwest JINELLE MONK, Washington, D.C. SUNSTONE in splendor resumes her LORD thy God” (Amos 8:11, 9:11, 13-15). RICHARD RANDS, JANET KINCAID, Symposium West STACIE SEARS, JANE ENGLAND, Salt Lake City glad reign. SCOTT KENNEY National Advisory Board Alpine, Utah ALAN ACKROYD, IRENE BATES, MOLLY BENNION CARLAN BRADSHAW, BELLAMY BROWN, RENEE CARLSON Printer problems notwithstanding, it is a BLAINE CARLTON, PAUL CARPENTER wonderful issue, and the website (www.sun- DOUGLAS CONDIE, JOHN COX “OPEN” HAZARDS D. JAMES CROFT, ROBERT FILLERUP stoneonline.com)— no small step for KENT FROGLEY, SHELDON GREAVES MARK GUSTAVSON, LIONEL GRADY Sunstone —it is a giant leap forward for VER SINCE Sunstone started speaking NANCY HARWARD, DIETRICH KEMPSKI Mormon experience, scholarship, issues, and about an “open forum,” I’ve feared that SHUNICHI KUWAHATA, GREG KOFFORD E GLEN LAMBERT, PATRICK MCKENZIE art. The Eagle has landed! this would turn out to mean, in practice: CARRIE MILES, RONALD L. MOLEN, MARY ANN MORGAN MARJORIE NEWTON, ALICE ALLRED POTTMYER The past months have been discouraging “Don’t do anything that will offend the ortho- DANIEL H. RECTOR, MARGARET REISER for many, myself included, but one who dox, even if that means alienating the liberal CHRIS SEXTON, RICHARD SHERLOCK GEORGE D. SMITH JR., NICHOLAS SMITH never gave up, was never content with subscribers.” RICHARD SOUTHWICK, MARSHA S. STEWART merely trying, was Gene England. In I’m still holding my breath as far as sym- LORIE WINDER STROMBERG JOHN & JANET TARJAN, NOLA W. WALLACE February we nearly lost him. I know many posiums are concerned, but the editorial staff HARTMUT WEISSMANN, MARK J. WILLIAMS SUNSTONE readers join me in my hope for is to be applauded for the balanced approach
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to the latest issue of the magazine closed, and therefore, neither a dogmatic the- the Great Basin and otherwise lend a hand to (SUNSTONE , April 2001). ology nor heresy is possible.” physically build up the Kingdom. The third, If this first issue under new editorship is I appreciate the compassion of Elbert which Erickson labels an “Age of Faith,” any indication, SUNSTONE appears to be Peck. “We enter this new century as an inter- shifts the orthodoxy test toward one’s per- making a determined effort to include a vari- national Church, and that will change us dra- sonal beliefs. ety of voices—mostly from the moderate matically.” What Sunstone has captured with this list middle (Claudia Bushman, Eugene England, I am grateful for the optimism of the new of questions is something representing the Michael Austin), but with rather more liberal editor Dan Wotherspoon. “I . . . really like last throes of the second period. Given figures like Phyllis Barber and Sonja many of the doctrines that seem to be on the Erickson’s contexts, it is easier to understand, Farnsworth added to the mix, plus a special ‘outs’ lately. I love Lorenzo Snow’s little cou- for instance, how Moses Thatcher could be spotlight on conservative scholar Stephen plet and the animating spirit behind our no- an Apostle during the second era without Carter. tions of eternal progression.” necessarily believing in God. My personal reaction to the Carter ex- I am thankful for the record of Lavina —JOSEPH H. JEPPSON cerpt was “Blech!”—but of course that’s an Fielding Anderson’s experience as she dealt Woodside, California occupational hazard when one chooses to with authoritative and dictatorial leaders. participate in a genuinely open forum. And Thank you for all that has made it possi- REMEMBERING so far, that’s what the new editorial team is ble to continue SUNSTONE! giving us. I may be jumping the gun in heap- RHODA THURSTON VEN THOUGH the campaign for ing on the accolades, but I want the staff to Hatch, New Mexico E California’s defense of marriage law— know that this is one reader who likes where Proposition 22—had been over for more they seem to be taking us. than a year when SUNSTONE published its re- JOHN-CHARLES DUFFY CONTEXTUAL ANALYSIS port on Mormon involvement, I am writing Salt Lake City, Utah to thank you for including it in the April ENJOYED the SUNSTONE reprint of 2001 issue. I am especially thankful for the INSPIRATION ABOUNDING I“Questions to be Asked the Latter Day spotlight you placed on gay Mormon sui- Saints” (April, 2001). The questions posed cides with your mention of Stuart Matis, D.J. AM so surprised and grateful for the op- there—“Do you wash your body?” “Have Thompson, and Clay Whitmer. I am won- I portunity to read another SUNSTONE you branded an animal you did not know to dering if many of SUNSTONE’s readers are magazine, with all its inspiration! be your own?” “Do you oppress the hireling aware of it, but the website for Affirmation, I appreciate the courage of Karl C. in his wages?”—all do, as you indicate, pro- the national organization for gay and lesbian Sandberg to prefer the homocentric world- vide glimpses into a “rural” Church of the Mormons, hosts a virtual memorial for these view. “Those who hold to the homocentric nineteenth century. Yet, they reflect more and many other gay Mormons who, dis- position see the greatest freedom; they see all than that. traught over their struggle to reconcile their people as morally capable of all things and Former University of Utah philosophy religious beliefs with their homosexuality, potentially partakers of the divine life.” professor E. E. Erickson wrote a thesis on have taken their lives since 1965. (Visit: I love his choice of doctrine and courage Mormon orthodoxy wherein he identified
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SUNSTONE IS SOLD HERE You can help! • Pick up extra copies for your friends. • Move them from the back row of the magazine display rack to the front. • Call ahead to make sure they have a copy in stock. Pester them if they don’t.
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PENNSYLVANIA Devon: Barnes & ❏ Visa ❏ MC ❏ Disc ❏ Amex ❏ check Noble; Greensburg: Barnes & Noble; Lancaster: Barnes & Noble; Pittsburgh: Quinn Dr. Barnes & Noble; University Park: Penn State Bookstore Barnes & Card # ______exp. ______Noble. SOUTH CAROLINA Charleston: Barnes & Noble; Hilton Head: Barnes & Noble. TENNESSEE Clarksville: Hastings; Franklin: Hastings; Maryville: Signature ______Hastings. TEXAS Amarillo: Plains Blvd. Hastings; Arlington: Superstand; Austin: Barton Creek Ink Newsstand, Research Blvd. Barnes & Noble, Guadalupe Phone orders: 801/355-5926 Fax orders: 801/355-4043 St. Barnes & Noble; Bookstop; Dallas: Greenville Superstand, 10720 Preston Rd. Subscribe online: www.Sunstoneonline.com Borders; Fort Worth: Hulen St. Superstand; Houston: Memorial St. Superstand; E-mail: [email protected] S. Sheperd Superstand, 5348 Westheimer Rd. Superstand, 8096 Westheimer Rd. Mail: Sunstone, 343 N. 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members were more evenly divided between the major parties. Yet, we have to vote the truth according to the way we see it. Many of us believe that those governed least are those governed best. Perhaps the Democrats could do some- thing to attract more Mormon votes. How about having the leading Democrats in the Senate support Senator Orrin Hatch for Supreme Court Justice? That wouldn’t be so terrible, would it? JAY BAXTER Modesto, California JUST SAY “NO”
N YOUR last issue (SUNSTONE, April I2001) Michael Austin calls Esther’s story, “the triumph of a faithful woman who risks Salt Lake City vigil remembering gay Mormons who have taken their own lives, May 2001 her life to acknowledge her religion and save her people.” He also says, “And if she had who attended the Salt Lake event at The actual impeachment passed in the just told the truth from the start, she could Meditation Chapel in Memory Grove. David House was for lying under oath and perjury. have resolved the whole issue without risk- and Carlie Hardy, the parents of a young gay Regarding the Monica affair, I saw the ing her life.” Mormon who attempted suicide after at- President lie to me on TV dozens of times. Does Austin protest too much? Did Esther tending a seminary class on Sodom and You saw the same, but the much more im- ever have a choice? Warning her not to reveal Gomorrah, were two of the speakers. At the portant issue was that he lied under oath. her ethnicity, Cousin Mordecai (was he a time of their son’s suicide attempt, David Clinton lied with a straight face until Monica pimp?) entered Esther in the Miss Persia Hardy was an LDS bishop. came up with a semen sample on her cloth- Pageant/Casting Couch Contest where she The Hardys implored: “We would ask that ing. Now, what if I, as a witness being sworn was “purified” for a year before King our community simply look beyond the in before giving testimony in court, stated Ahasuerus tried her out for a night. Esther myth that our son is a predator [who] can that I would tell the truth to the same degree did get a crown in exchange for her body. and must be cured. . . . These are the myths that President Clinton did? Our justice sys- And the ever-eavesdropping Mordecai finally that bring our children to the point of de- tem simply cannot function if people are al- got a real job. spair. It is easy to demonize a group as a lowed to lie under oath without facing ASHLEY AVERELL whole. It is far harder to demonize a won- penalties! San Jose, California derful, fine individual that you know. It is on I would ask Rees to try to see the differ- that level, the level of the individual, that ence between Mormon children lying to VOICES HEARD dogma and reality must come face to face.” keep their fathers out of jail and the President I understand that gay rights is a sticky of the United States committing perjury. The T WAS a long time coming, but when the issue, and I know SUNSTONE runs the risk of late Samuel W. Taylor has pointed out many I last (one dare not say "current") issue offending a portion of its readership when it times that Mormon children were taught that came, I felt that old sense of excitement. I sat prints more than occasional stories on the it was okay to violate a lower law (lying to down and immediately began reading. Sure, subject. So, thank you again for your cov- federal judges) in order to protect the higher some of the news was not news anymore, but erage. law (plural marriage). there was enough good news in the non- —HUGO OLAIZ I agree that it would be better if Church news to make me happy. This latest issue Salt Lake City, Utah VOTING THE TRUTH APPRECIATE Robert A. Rees’s response to I my letter about why Mormons are mostly Republican. Two years ago, when my letter was printed, the big issue was the impeachment of President Clinton. My view was, and still is, that Mormons are far more critical of the Clinton-Monica Lewinsky sexual transgres- sion than those from many other faiths and indeed, some would consider us very radical in this respect.
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demonstrates once again how much poorer derful "Dancing with the Sacred." I was re- as a community we would be without minded how narrowly we define our search SUNSTONE. I wondered as I read the issue for the sacred. The sacred is indeed all how many of the pieces would or could have around us, in the natural world, in other reli- been published elsewhere. A few could have gions and cultures, in the hidden crevices of found outlets, but most could not have. I re- our own faith tradition, and deep inside of joice that there are such voices in our midst ourselves. It comes out in impulses that all and that SUNSTONE provides a place where mystics, all searchers for the sacred, under- they can be heard. stand. As Rumi says, I was sad to read Elbert Peck's final edito- rial. I have found Elbert's reflections in Turn as the earth and the moon turn, SUNSTONE to be among the finest personal Circling what they love. WORDS OF MORMONS essays our culture has produced during the Whatever circles comes from the center. past decade or so. They are intelligent, infor- Dance when you are broken open . . . mative, inspiring, and literate. I will miss Dance in your blood. Can’t Find a Book? reading them. I hope Elbert will continue to Dance, when you're perfectly free. publish in SUNSTONE. I was pleased to read There is not space enough to comment on These stores specialize in out-of- Dan Wotherspoon's inaugural essay. Dan's all of the other fine pieces in this issue print and hard-to-find LDS books. writing promises to continue the fine tradi- (Claudia Bushman’s and Michael Austin’s in tion of previous SUNSTONE editorials. particular), but I will close with final praise BEEHIVE COLLECTORS GALLERY I loved seeing the cover photo of Jan for the poetry in this issue. I appreciate how 368 E. 300 S., Salt Lake City, UT 84111 Shipps standing in front of the temple (it SUNSTONE gives generous space to poetry. 801/533-0119 would be nice to see her inside it one day, Not all of the poems are of equal quality, but Mormon Memorabilia Catalogue too, although I suspect that that is not one Mikal Lofgren's "Immersion" and James issued quarterly: $10 per year of her aspirations!). Few faith traditions Owens' "Mirrors" left me with that feeling have been as blessed as we have to have Emily Dickinson describes as the only way such an incisive and yet compassionate ob- to know poetry: "If . . . it makes my whole BENCHMARK BOOKS server and critic. The subtitle to the con- body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I 3269 S. Main, Ste. 250, Salt Lake City, UT cluding section of her article is "Never again know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if 84115. 801/486-3111; toll free for orders will there be a single Mormon image." I, for the top of my head were taken off, that is 800/486-3112; www.benchmarkbooks.com; one, hope she is right. Mormonism is much poetry."
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THANK YOU, ELBERT PECK!
I keep hearing from the cellar bin The rumbling sound Of load on load of apples coming in. For I have had too much Of apple-picking: I am overtired Of the great harvest I myself desired. —Robert Frost, from “After Apple Picking” (From Elbert’s letter of resignation) Copyright STEVE MAYFIELD used by permission 1987 1996 2001
ITH much gratitude tinged with sadness, we gospel of Jesus Christ are better understood and, as a re- announce that our long-time editor, pub- sult, better lived, when they are freely and frankly ex- W lisher, and managing director, Elbert Eugene plored within the community of Saints” has animated the Peck, has resigned from his many roles. Since 1986, pages of this magazine and brought great diversity and life Elbert has worked tirelessly to shore up and expand to our symposiums and other events. For his courageous Sunstone’s mission and outreach. We will miss having his leadership, commitment to building a diverse and loving creativity and vision steering us daily, but we are very community, and his unflinching belief that Latter-day happy he will continue as a friend, advisor, and volunteer. Saints can and should achieve ever-higher standards of Elbert’s vision and core belief that the “truths of the thought and presentation, we are very grateful.
“I LEAVE WITH A DEEP SENSE OF GRATITUDE FOR THE WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY FIFTEEN YEARS AT SUNSTONE. IT IS HARD TO IMAGINE ANOTHER JOB THAT COULD BE SO REWARDING, THAT COULD CON- NECT ME WITH SO MANY SPLENDID PEOPLE, THAT COULD CALL ME TO DRAW UPON MY DIVERSE SKILLS, TALENTS, AND IDEALS.” BUT, “LIFE AFTER SUNSTONE DOES NOT MEAN LIFE WITHOUT SUNSTONE. I PLAN TO BE A WILLING VOLUNTEER AND CONTRIBUTOR. TO ESPECIALLY DO WHAT I HAVE ENCOURAGED OTHERS TO DO: WRITE SHORT THINGS FOR THE MAGAZINE AND ORGANIZE A SYMPOSIUM SESSION OR TWO. TO HELP WHERE AND WHEN ASKED.” —ELBERT EUGENE PECK
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FROM THE EDITOR schauung he thinks, I believe rightly, to be closest in spirit to the animating sensibilities of Joseph Smith and early Mormonism. The homocentric view sees everything as a micro- cosm of a larger macrocosm: the earth is a CELEBRATING THE GAP microcosm of the heavens; the individual is a mirror of the larger world. I’ve been concen- trating above on the initial huge events that formed the universe, yet, though these are important contexts, that’s not where we really live. We spend our days in a much smaller, By Dan Wotherspoon much more precarious space. We “live, move, and have our being” primarily in our stories, in our symbolic world. Our most im- portant tools are the tales and symbols that provide us with our general sense of things, our feeling of purpose as we interact with na- ture and each other. Nature presented the same aspect the world over, that to which men have I and most of you have inherited our sym- given the name Chaos. This was a shapeless uncoordinated mass, nothing bolic world, our living space, through our but the weight of lifeless matter, whose ill-assorted elements were indis- Latter-day Saint upbringing. Mormonism has criminately heaped together in one place. . . . Nothing had any lasting fired and continues to fuel our imaginations; shape, but everything got in the way of everything else; for, within that it gives us most of the ordering tools we use body, cold warred with hot, moist with dry, soft with hard, and light with to make this world a “home.” heavy. This strife was finally resolved by a god, a natural force of a higher Still, although Mormonism has nourished kind, who separated the earth from heaven, and the waters from the us well and we love its wonderful gifts, for earth.... He bound them fast, each in its separate place, forming a har- many of us, sometimes the well-ordered uni- monious union. verse it describes and teaches begins to feel a bit too static or restrictive. We encounter fasci- —Ovid, Metamorphosis nating ideas in print. We meet people with an interesting, wonderful, but very different And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the sense of things. We find out through just plain face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. living that the universe is full of wild facts that And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. . . . And God said, don’t easily fit into an idealized, highly-or- Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the dered picture. We learn that chaos is never re- waters from the waters. ally very far away. Because we sense these -–Genesis, 1: 2–3, 6 things, we begin to feel the need to create, to expand and rearrange our living space. But, in order to again feel a sense of home, NE OF THE MOST which we live. For instance, the early Greek we need our own gap, our own space to important stories account describes a very boring universe be- spread things out. The chaos we brush up O for any community fore Zeus separates his parents, Cronos and against is “too full.” There is too much is its cosmogony—its myth- Gaia (Heaven and Earth), from their sexual meaning all mixed together. We sense that ic account of origins, espe- embrace. In other tales, the world-order be- truths, answers, and other markers are every- cially how the ordered gins with the splitting of a cosmogenic egg. where present; they need only to be differen- world (cosmos) came to overtake the disor- In Genesis, before creating life, God separates tiated. We need an opening so we can make dered, primordial state (chaos), allowing life (light from dark, Day from Night, dry land comparisons, so we can tease apart “what to emerge. Because this passage from dis- from the seas) and establishes a firmament things mean.” Terrestrial life required a fir- order to order is the most significant of all (or gap) that divides the sweet waters above mament before it could flourish. Symbolic transitions, cosmogonies give us as human from the salt seas below. life needs the same. beings the tools to contemplate why there is Even the predominant cosmogony today, something rather than nothing, why the “the big bang,” describes the initial event as HERE has been much talk these past world is this way and not that. Above other the creation of time and space. There was no few years about the continued rele- stories, myths of origins help us form a “take” “before” before this flaring forth, nor was T vance of Sunstone. Many are asking on what things mean. there even a “there.” The first event created what Sunstone is? Some wonder if they still There are as many different cosmogonies the expanse—the temporal and spatial have a place to speak and write within as there are societies, yet many of these sto- gap—in which we live. Sunstone forums. I very much enjoy these ries share similar motifs. Among the most discussions, and I hope as they continue, common is the notion that the very first acts N our last issue, (SUNSTONE, April many more of you will join in.1 All things of creation are acts of division and the subse- 2001), Karl Sandberg explores the ho- stagnate unless they are constantly refreshed quent establishment of a “gap”—the space in I mocentric worldview, the weltan- with new notions, new energy.
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Of all the ideas currently animating these discussions, the one under closest scrutiny is the notion that Sunstone is striving to be- Join us at the Sunstone Symposium come an “open forum.” Peggy Fletcher Stack first pointed Sunstone in this direction, and as we applaud the leadership and Elbert Peck has continued to develop this notion. Elbert is writing an essay for a forth- coming issue in which he’ll share his vision thought of Elbert Peck! of what he believes it means for Sunstone to be this type of forum.2 I am not exactly certain how “openness” in Sunstone will be defined over the next few Friday, 10 August 2001 years. Right now I am writing simply to cele- 8:45 - 9:45 a.m. brate the fact that because of Sunstone and in- dependent organizations like it, we have a Paper: “Only Your Hearts Know”: The Elbert Peck Years space for reflection within our tradition that al- by Gary James Bergera lows us room to perform our acts of creation. Let us celebrate this gap! Let us thank those who have fought and continue to fight 8:00 p.m. for it; let us bless those who help fund it; let Banquet Program: “RetrosPECKtive,” including funny us be grateful to all who understand how valuable this small space within our tradition stories and personal glimpses from many good friends is and who introduce it and defend it to others. Too often we lose focus and get overly Banquet Address: The Public Thought of Elbert Peck exercised about what Sunstone should or by Philip Barlow should not be, and we forget first to be thankful such an opening exists at all.
S he indicated in his last editorial, and as announced in this issue (page A 7), Elbert Eugene Peck, long-time jack-of-all-things-Sunstonian, has finally burned out. Atlas has shrugged; his many acts of creation have made him weary, and he is taking a well-earned Sabbath. If you have met Elbert in person, you will know that he has opinions about everything and everyone! Yet, they are always well-rea- soned takes, and he offers them with a feeling of joy in community, with an easy laugh and glad heart. If you have met Elbert, I know you also have a strong opinion about him. Most of you extend to him the same grace he feels toward you. But even for you whose feelings are perhaps less generous than others, I ask that as a community, we all join in releasing him with a vote of thanks. Elbert Eugene Peck, you have magnified your calling. You are a gapmaker par excellence!
NOTES 1. A statement from the Board of Trustees follows on the next page of this issue. It was written to be a point of departure for these discussions. Please react to it! . 2. I highly recommend Elbert’s presentation at the 2000 Salt Lake Sunstone Symposium to anyone interested in these questions about the direction the organization is currently headed. The tape of the session, “What I Mean When I Say an ‘Open Forum’ Should Be the Ideal Sunstone Strives for: A Memoir,” is available through the Sunstone Mercantile (Tape #SL00-112).
To comment or to read comments by others, visit
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FROM THE SUNSTONE FOUNDATION BOARD OF TRUSTEES OPEN, INDEPENDENT, RESPONSIBLE
UNSTONE IS GUIDED by the principles of an open, in- we are strengthened in our sense of purpose and belief in the dependent, and responsible forum. Some may question goodness of our endeavor by our understanding of the S whether these principles contradict each other, yet we Church. There have always been unofficial journals in the believe a review of Sunstone’s twenty-seven years of publica- Church, and most have played important, positive roles for the tions and sponsored events reveals they are compatible and Saints they served. We intend for Sunstone to continue this Sunstone is at its best when each is honored. positive tradition. By “open,” we mean Sunstone welcomes to our forums a wide variety of people, styles, opinions, perspectives, and N his Encyclopedia of Mormonism article, “Societies and types of expression. “Open” means we do not narrowly define Organizations,” David J. Cherrington lists several helpful subject matter (except requiring that contributions relate to I functions Sunstone and other independent organizations Church experience or culture); nor do we exclude any respon- and publications provide for individuals and the Church: sible voice that has something important to say and says it • “Unofficial publications provide an opportunity to learn well. We strive always to be inviting to creative, inspired, and distribute new insights regarding theology, the scriptures, helpful, and even surprising insights from whatever source ancient cultures, historical events, and current practices. they may come. “Open” also means we try to listen with our Dedicated members wanting to combine their religious beliefs hearts as well as our ears. Sunstone’s commitment to openness with their professional training have made significant scholarly does not mean we accept every article, essay, story, or poem contributions, and unofficial journals provide outlets for pub- submitted to us, nor every proposed paper for a symposium. lishing them.” Like all magazines and conferences, we exercise discretion and • “The creative efforts of those who contribute to these pub- judgment, keeping in mind principles of good thinking, in- lications add to the collection of Mormon literature by al- sightfulness, creativity, fairness, tone, and balance. We believe lowing members to write about life and events from a unique you as readers and supporters demand nothing less than this. LDS perspective. Some literary articles represent personal ex- By “independent,” we mean we are not part of the official pressions of faith and testimony in artistic or scholarly ways structure or administration of The Church of Jesus Christ of that most authors would not choose to use in a monthly testi- Latter-day Saints, nor any other organization. We do not speak mony meeting.” for the Church, nor represent ourselves as doing so. Yet, al- • “Certain publications serve as an outlet where individuals though not governed by specific ecclesiastical strictures, we with unorthodox beliefs can share their questions, concerns, strive continually to be guided by the moral principles taught and doubts in an open forum where they feel adequate accep- by Jesus Christ, the scriptures, and our spiritual leaders. tance.” By “responsible,” we mean we endeavor always to be ac- • “For members who feel a need to promote change, . . . countable to our stated mission (see box, page 2). We also seek such organizations provide a forum where they can take an ad- to be respectful of individuals, organizations, ideas, and tradi- vocacy position. The targets of change have included the elim- tions which people hold to be sacred. ination of racism and sexism, the acceptance of altered social We recognize Sunstone has at times fallen short in living up practices (such as birth control, dress, and grooming stan- to these ideals. We apologize for these errors in judgment or dards), and interpretation of the scriptures or historical presentation, and we thank you as subscribers, volunteers, and events.” supporters for checks written, graceful and encouraging words spoken, and many kindnesses shown even when Sunstone has S the Sunstone Foundation Board of Trustees, we stumbled. pledge our continued energies in helping Sunstone It is an awesome challenge to keep a organization like A continue to serve these and other beneficial roles. We Sunstone afloat. One reason is some feel the very idea of an thank you for your support and encourage each of you to con- open, independent forum is counter to the best interests of the sider Sunstone’s role in your life and to contribute in any way Church. We understand the reasons behind this concern, yet you can.
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THE 2001 SUNSTONE SYMPOSIUM FAITH SEEKING UNDERSTANDING
8 - 11 August 2001 WESTCOAST SALT LAKE HOTEL 161 West 600 South, Salt Lake City, Utah
PLENARY SESSIONS (All Times 8:00 pm)
WEDNESDAY COVERING THE MORMONS: CHALLENGES OF REPORTING ON THE CHURCH IN THE HEART OF “ZION” Rod Decker, Renai Bodley, Brooke Adams, Carrie Moore, Ed Hula
THURSDAY HOW BIG IS THE MORMON TENT?: TOWARD A NEW UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE “MORMON” Mark D. Thomas, Martin Tanner, William Call, Levi Peterson, Anne Wilde, Armand Mauss, Jan Shipps
FRIDAY SUNSTONE CELEBRATES THE ELBERT PECK YEARS “RetrosPECKtive”: a look at Elbert’s fifteen years with Sunstone Philip Barlow on the public thought of Elbert Peck
SATURDAY PILLARS OF MY FAITH Arthur R. Bassett, Mary Ann Morgan, Nadine Hansen
OTHER FEATURED PRESENTERS: Wayne C. Booth, Elouise Bell, Kathleen Flake, D. Michael Quinn, Duane Jeffery
MUSIC: Ardean Watts, Michael Hicks
MORMON EXPERIENCE, SCHOLARSHIP, ISSUES, & THOUGHT • FAITH. Hear words that inspire Christian living by exploring gospel truths, sharing spiritual journeys, and untying knotty challenges. • COMMUNITY. Meet new friends whose thoughts and experiences parallel yours. The symposium pro- vides a forum for meeting scholars, sharing with others of similar interests, and joining in hallway con- versations. • KNOWLEDGE. Learn new strategies to be an intelligent Christian disciple in the (post)modern age, and gain insights in understanding your own journey. • FUN. Wrestle with new and lively viewpoints. Savor well-crafted sermons. Match famous scholars’ names with faces. Laugh in the humor sessions. Indulge in late-night discussions you never have time for elsewhere. Buy the latest books. Wonder at the blooming diversity among God’s people.
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IN MEMORIAM
PETER CLARE APPLEBY
By L. Rex Sears
AST YEAR, the Sunstone com- fellow seminarians. I am sure Peter fit munity lost several Mormon right in. David Bennett, who retired L stalwarts. We also lost at least not too many years ago from the one good Gentile friend that I know of, University of Utah’s philosophy de- Peter Clare Appleby, Professor of partment, stands well over six feet, has Philosophy and former Acting and a deep voice, and has pure white hair Associate Director of the Tanner and a bushy beard to match. Peter Humanities Center at the University of would tell people who did not know Utah. I first made Peter’s acquaintance David, “he’s the one who looks like as a student, in my first year at the U God.” For most of my undergraduate when I took ancient philosophy from career I wandered around the philos- him. Over the next decade, I worked ophy department in shorts and flip- with Peter as a student, an advisee flops. Peter quickly labeled me as the (Peter was a member of my master’s one with “Jesus shoes.” Peter was also thesis committee), and a colleague fond of observing that the one (when I joined the faculty for a couple Hispanic name sports announcers do of years as a visiting instructor). Along not anglicize is Jesus, and hagiography the way, we became friends. Peter and Nancy Appleby of any form was a perpetual source of In a way, Peter’s membership in our amusement for Peter. Sunstone community was a bit of a surprise. soon decided that he and the ministry would Peter’s application of his wit to religious Peter had no apparent reason to join us: he both fare better if they went their separate topics, however, should not be mistaken for was not Mormon, and until his career ways. So, he entered the philosophy Ph.D. disrespect. I see Peter’s sometimes irreverent brought him to “Zion” in 1965, he did not program at the University of Texas in Austin, humor as one of many indications that Peter live around Mormons. Peter did not have a earning his doctorate in 1963. had left only the seminary, not religion, and professional specialty in any branch of Even though Peter had a long and distin- that his genuine affection and respect for Mormon studies. But to those who knew guished career in philosophy, he never lost things religious continued. One-time student Peter, his involvement with Sunstone made his religious sensibilities. Indeed religion and long-time friend Mark Gustavson, re- perfect sense. Peter was a religiously minded generally, not just Mormonism, always occu- calls: “During a senior seminar, he excoriated philosopher, after the Socratic model, living pied a prominent spot in the center of his us for our intemperate papers, each of which, in the Mormon capital. Being a ’Stoner was philosophical stage. Peter’s dissertation dealt he didn’t hesitate to add, had all the wisdom part and parcel of Peter’s aspiration to exem- with Charles Sanders Peirce’s philosophical and social grace of that young critic whom he plify and promote the ideals of the disci- theology, his first professional publication observed screaming invective and really poor pline he professed, given his interests and was an essay titled “Existentialism and arguments at newly inducted missionaries on his environment. Religious Faith,” and he died just after com- North Temple. He was angry with our unre- Peter seriously considered a life in the pleting the first draft of a monograph on reli- pentent and undisciplined and certainly ministry, and he began his graduate studies at gious diversity. In between, he authored, pre- fashionable critiques of religion. Here was a the Episcopal and Harvard Divinity Schools sented, reviewed, and commented on dozens man of integrity who had deep respect for in Cambridge, Massachusetts. However, he of other works with religious topics, in- those who held profoundly pious senti- cluding a paper that appeared in this journal ments.” and many others delivered at Sunstone sym- While religion continued to occupy a L. REX SEARS has a Ph.D. in philosophy posiums. central role in Peter’s thought, his embrace and is an attorney living in Salt Lake City. I remember Peter declaring with great of philosophy was both broader and deeper. A version of this memoriam was given at the fondness that he had never kept more blas- In the first place, Peter had great respect for phemously irreverent company than his philosophy as an academic subject. While in
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Peter Appleby at Sunstone REFLECTIONS FROM THE (references to Sunstone magazine or symposium tape number) MEMORIAL SESSION ARTICLE NANCY APPLEBY: Peter found you at “Finitist Theology and the Problem of Evil” (SUNSTONE, Sunstone easy to be with because you Nov.–Dec. 1981) had qualities that he admired and re- spected. In a place and in a time when SELECTED SYMPOSIUM PRESENTATIONS it would be far easier to be very quiet Presenter and go with the flow, you have the “Church Doctrine and the Life of Faith,” Salt Lake, SL83-067 courage and the intellectual curiosity “Divine Commands and Morality,” Salt Lake, SL85-050 to challenge and question your as- “The Irrelevance of Proof,” Salt Lake, SL96-231 sumptions and your beliefs, and it would have been a whole lot easier for “Mormons, Baptists, and All That: Coping with Religious you all not ever to have done that. Diversity,” Salt Lake, 1998 (no tape) Peter didn’t separate who he was Panelist/Respondent from what he did. He was a philoso- “Mormon Response to the Reason/Revelation Dichotomy,” Salt Lake, SL94-122 pher, in his professional life, but also in his personal life. And to some extent graduate school, Peter told a classmate that fact that the BYU philosophy faculty was vir- because you all live what you believe, his goal was to understand the first two hun- tually invisible during the controversy; as you share that quality with Peter, and dred pages of Immanuel Kant’s Critique of Peter saw it, their silence about such morally that’s another reason he found you Pure Reason before he died. A friend later weighty matters was incompatible with pro- comfortable to be with. gave Peter a glass desk cover inscribed, fessing the discipline of philosophy. I shared Beyond that, those of you who knew him will also know that he loved “Here Sits the Man Who Understands the with him my impression that the philosophy a good discussion, particularly if First 200 Pages of Kant’s First Critique” (or faculty there was keeping quiet because they people disagreed with each other and, words to that effect), but Peter never felt agreed with the administration’s decisions. in respectful ways, duked it out. ready to use the cover and claim that under- Still, for Peter, that did not get them off the standing. In a course on pragmatism, and hook: in that case, the philosophy faculty STACIE SEARS: When I heard that while working with Peter as a member of my should have been vocally justifying the ad- Peter had died, my heart sank for master’s committee, I again and again wit- ministration’s actions to their suspicious and Nancy, because one of the things I nessed Peter’s display of this same humble skeptical colleagues in the broader academic knew about Peter is that he and Nancy curiosity toward his academic subject, an at- community. enjoyed a rare marriage. I also knew that Peter was deeply involved in his titude I greatly admire. In Peter’s eyes, safe silence is not an op- family’s lives. Watching him, I learned But however great his respect for philos- tion for the true philosopher. I think Peter some things I apply in my own family. ophy as a subject of study, Peter’s deepest respected Socrates as a philosopher because I keep a journal for my son Christian commitment was to philosophy as a practical Socrates died for his arguments, and not be- so that when he is older, I will be able ideal. As I understand Peter, what he valued cause those arguments were clever. And to share with him the day-to-day won- most about philosophy was the Socratic aspi- Peter participated in Sunstone symposiums, ders of his young life, wonders the ration to live the examined life. To borrow a not because he was Mormon, but because he memory of which might otherwise phrase from one of Peter’s professional col- thought it important for Mormons, and fade. Peter kept journals like this for leagues, College of Humanities Dean Patricia people of all faiths, to reflect critically on his twin granddaughters, Molly and L. Hanna, “In philosophy, Peter was applied both their personal religious beliefs and their Kate. before applied was cool.” And that is why, I traditons’ practices and to push for change My mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in December of 1988 think, his participation in the Sunstone com- where that critical reflection reveals short- and died just over two years later. I munity made such perfect sense. comings. will always be grateful to Peter for For Peter, living the examined life at a I started by saying that when Peter died, being one of the few people who minimum meant being an activist. I joined the Sunstone community lost a good Gentile would ask about my mother—and the faculty at the University of Utah as a vis- friend. I would be remiss if I did not add that then stay to listen. Most of us have a itor after spending a year as a visiting in- the human family lost a noble son. hard time listening to another’s grief structor at BYU. I had been on the Provo I will always remember Peter for his basic and fears: we either don’t know what campus during the ‘93-’94 academic year, human decency. More than ideas, more than to say, or we just want a lighter topic. when administration decisions not to grant causes, Peter cared about people. I will al- But Peter would hear me out. Patricia tenure or renew contracts for some non- ways be touched by the memory of many Hanna, Dean of the College of tenured faculty members were generating warm receptions that my wife, Stacie, and I Humanities at the University of Utah, said Peter ministered as the “priest” for substantial criticism, at least from sources received whenever we saw Peter, especially if a rag-tag band of humanitarians popu- outside the Provo campus community. To comment or share your own reflec- lating the philosophy department Shortly after I started at the University of tions about Peter, visit our website: there. I think Peter was a fine priest. Utah, Peter told me he was bothered by the
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TURNING THE TIME OVER TO... brother Bubba, her sister Brenda, and her cousins William and Eleanor Guest. Over parts of four decades (the 1950s, ’60s, ’70s Paul Swenson and ’80s), Gladys Knight and the Pips were one of the nation’s premier singing acts. In 1959, Brenda and Eleanor left the group, re- placed by cousin Edward Patten and a friend, Langston George. Even after George’s depar- GLADYS AND THURL: ture in 1962, the group continued to per- form together until 1989, when they THE CHANGING FACE OF disbanded to pursue separate career paths. When Gladys Knight spoke to the 1999 MORMON DIVERSITY BYU Women’s Conference (her talk has been rebroadcast several times on KBYU-TV), and when she appeared with President Hinckley at his birthday celebration on 23 June 2000, the impact wasn’t so much what she said––although some of it was extraordi- nary––but what she did, how she moved, With the exception of and the tone she set as both speaker and per- Marjorie Hinckley, is former. At this birthday celebration for President there another woman Hinckley, especially in Knight’s interactions in the Church who with him, one could feel a different and posi- tive new vibration in the Mormon experi- would so confidently ence. Comfortable in her clothing, in her body and her skin, she suggested an integra- and comfortably intrude tion of the spiritual and sensual that many of on the personal space of us may not have known how much we longed for until we saw it. President Gordon Bitner When I came upon Knight on the KBYU Gladys Knight greets broadcast one Sunday morning while President Gordon B. Hinckley, and so naturally channel surfing for spiritual or intellectual Hinckley during his 90th induce him to enjoy it? enlightenment, I had a moment of déjà vu. birthday celebration. How long, I mused, had it been since we’ve seen at a Church pulpit the full complexity of a Mormon woman who didn’t wish to hide HE COVER PHOTOGRAPH of the 3 With the possible exception of Marjorie or obscure her earthiness? And then I re- July 2000 LDS Church News is quite Hinckley, is there another woman in The called the same sense of discovery I had felt T remarkable in the way that it casually Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in another KBYU broadcast in the late 1980s shatters a number of taboos once held invio- or for that matter the world, who would so when I had stumbled upon a devotional ad- late within the Church community. confidently and comfortably intrude on the dress by a naturalist and writer whose face I Leaning into a pulpit, a beautiful and sen- personal space of 90-year-old Church presi- had not yet placed with her name––Terry suous black woman, wearing a long, flowing dent Gordon Bitner Hinckley, and so natu- Tempest Williams. She spoke of God’s nat- gown, has moved within six inches or so of a rally induce him to enjoy it? Not likely. For ural handiwork on display all around us, distinguished Caucasian man behind the this man, held by Church members to be while her own face and carriage were a cor- lectern. She is smiling, and her gleaming prophet, seer, and revelator, it was a moment poreal witness of the earth as well. teeth flash pleasure. The man, white-haired, of unusual personal intensity and, yes, per- older, his tuxedoed chest and shoulders gar- haps, revelation. It occurred during his HILE I was still mulling the full landed by a lei of flowers, is turning toward public birthday celebration before a huge import of what I had seen and her with a smile of shy but burgeoning satis- throng in the new Church Conference Center W remembered, another Sunday faction. Just above the pulpit, her dark, left at Temple Square. morning KBYU telecast woke me to a male hand grasps the pale fingers of his right The woman’s name, of course, is Gladys image of self-assured power and relaxation. hand. Knight, gospel, pop, soul, and blues singer; The man at the pulpit was immediately rec- spiritual seeker; and late-1990s convert to ognizable––Thurl Bailey, of the soulfully ex- PAUL SWENSON is the managing editor of C20 the Church. She had traveled a long road to pressive voice and face, former basketball media, publishers of the VOICE and The Green this moment. star with the Utah Jazz, now a jazzman of a Sheet, and the soon-to-launch publication B to B Fresh from her triumph at age seven in different stripe as a recording artist who has (Business to Business). An earlier version of winning television’s Ted Mack Amateur sailed the seas of soul, jazz, and pop. Here he this paper was given at the 2000 Sunstone Hour, Knight at age eight organized her own was now, an LDS convert, harbored in Symposium in Salt Lake City (tape #SL00-254). group, called the Pips, which included her Mormonism in the ‘90s.
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Bailey is 6-foot-11 and looks resplendent the priesthood. “But for some reason, what so many special people in my life. He brought me in his gold suit and navy blue turtleneck, his they said didn’t sink in or didn’t tell me what my wife. I think about her choice to be with me. angular black face gleamed under the lights I needed to know.” It was Clegg’s direct reply You’re talking about a girl from Richfield. A of the Woods Cross East Stake Center. He that pierced the rhetorical fog for Bailey. “Our Caucasian girl from Richfield, who looks at me was a striking and unusual foreground for a Heavenly Father has a time and a place for and sees past my color, sees in my heart and familiar background––dark-suited, white- everything,” Clegg told him, adding that says, “This man is special. I want to be with shirted stake leaders and their Sunday- prior to 1978, “blacks weren’t ready and him.” She sacrifices everything except what she dressed wives. whites weren’t ready” believes in, no matter what other people are The camera was drawn to a face in that for the prophet to an- telling her, and she goes through absolute hell for background. As Bailey nounce a revelation making that choice. took a portable mike an . . . from God that would I look at her, and I’m so grateful to my Father s Jazzm ailey a to the lip of the stage to Thurl B instruct Church in Heaven for bringing her to look more directly into leaders that worthy me. She’s taught me so much. the faces of the mostly She’s taught me so much and young adults at this probably without really multi-stake fireside, the knowing it. And I look at video technicians cut to a . . . and jazzman. my children. I look at all close-up of a blonde those things I’ve been woman seated with the blessed with. And I say leaders. From her de- that I know I’m where I meanor, it was easy to de- belong. duce that this was Bailey’s The easy blending wife. (I had missed the be- of familiar Mormon ginning of the telecast in rhetoric with the which Sindi Bailey had black more expressive spoken prior to her husband’s males were to receive African - American address.) the priesthood.” idiom, body lan- On a later viewing of this program, I “I felt something in guage, and speak couldn’t ignore the thoughtlessness of some me open up,” Bailey ing styles distinguish both parts of the stake president’s introduction. He said, “and I knew why I Bailey’s and Knight’s contributions to the said he was “grateful to have Sindi Bailey had come to Italy.” changing face of Mormon diversity. This ap- with us tonight [since] normally she’d be While Thurl and Sindi Bailey’s remarks plies to their infusions of new musical life as home with her children as she usually is.” had a powerful impact for anyone who lis- well, which I mention below. Was it meant to reassure us of her diligence tened, what wasn’t said loomed nearly as as a parent? Some things never change, it large. Bailey’s allusions to what his wife expe- HE introduction of Gladys Knight at seems, even in a Church setting where the rienced—in choosing to marry and live with a the 1999 BYU Women’s Conference sheer visual and spiritual beauty of an egali- black man and give birth to and raise biracial T included not only such familiar refer- tarian, biracial LDS couple is evident and children at the white center of a world church ences to her status as a mother of three and whose respect for each other and their part- that is diversifying mostly at its geographical grandmother of ten, “with one on the way,” nership speaks volumes about changes in edges—made it clear that many stories re- but also the information that she was the Mormon perceptions. main to be told. Stories of not only the Baileys’ popularizer of such musical hits as “Midnight Sindi and Thurl Bailey spoke of Thurl’s experience, but also of many others. Train to Georgia” and “I Heard It through the conversion to Mormonism from slightly dif- Bailey briefly related a letter he had re- Grapevine.” (This announcement was ferent perspectives. It was accomplished ceived after returning from Italy, written by greeted by wild applause. Did this sponta- during a pro-basketball sojourn in Italy. After an LDS woman in California whose ex-hus- neous outbreak happen because the women being exposed over a period of time to the band was African-American. This woman’s in the audience were proud to identify with a tenets of his wife’s faith, Bailey had been im- son, 15, was having problems. Among mem- soulful new Mormon celebrity, or did it show pressed to call the mission home in Milan. bers of her ward were those who refused to their weariness, perhaps, at sitting passively (Sindi had flown back to the States to attend take the sacrament from him when he passed through Church meetings? Was this their her grandmother’s funeral.) Mission presi- it because he was biracial. Bailey spoke to the first opportunity in perhaps years for some dent J. Albert Clegg impressed Bailey with boy and told him he believed God had plans release?) his straight talk. Bailey said that at 5-foot-7 for him. He also encouraged him to refrain Also mentioned was Knight’s membership or 8, Clegg towers in his memory over such from getting angry or pointing fingers at in the Rhythm and Blues and Rock and Roll intimidating masculine figures as Kareem people who don’t understand. Halls of Fame (certainly a first for biograph- Abdul-Jabbar and Shaquille O’Neal, both of In this excerpt from his address, notice ical detail approved as an introduction for a whom Bailey had played against in the the pain and carefully contained tension that BYU audience), and that she had been National Basketball Association. runs parallel to Bailey’s expressed joy in “schooled in show business” by bluesman B. Bailey said that through the years, mis- finding his new, cherished faith: B. King. These plaudits were accompanied sionaries had tried to answer his questions I look at those people that Heavenly Father by video images of Gladys as a child, posing about the history of minorities in the Church has put in my life. He does that for all of us, you with Nat King Cole, and of fleeting footage of and specifically about African-Americans and know. And not all of them are good. He has put her as a young woman in an energetic dance
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AT his birthday celebration, President Hinckley good-naturedly mentioned that upon joining the Church, Gladys Knight said she wasn’t exactly excited about the state of Mormon music. “But she’s repented.” A good laugh line, perhaps. But doesn’t this obscure a genuine problem?
number in which her dress showed off her Saturday’s Warrior and similar productions, Mormons seem to have had a curious obses- dancer’s legs, well above her knees. after the listless reiteration of Church hymns sion with Mormons of status and celebrity. “When you’re on a mission for the Lord,” by congregations in wards where choristers Perhaps it suggests a certain insecurity. Living she said by way of introducing her topic, and organists have lost passion and are only in a world in which stardom and fame shine “The Song in My Heart,” “it’s a little bit dif- going through the motions, this was a shining so brightly, one may feel the need to boast of ferent than doing your own thang.” (That’s moment. A moment that only suggests the sports stars, entertainers, and politicians what she said, thang). “It’s been a wonderful, possibilities for new life in Mormon music. known by the world. Perhaps we are so fo- wonderful journey.” At President Hinckley’s birthday celebra- cused on standouts, because our usual “Song,” Knight said, “is symbolic of tion, he good-naturedly alluded to the fact Mormon conformity makes us as predictable joy––joy in my heart. That song is not ‘I that upon joining the Church, Gladys as peas in a pod. Heard It through the Grapevine,’ although I Knight mentioned she wasn’t exactly excited I believe it is time to move beyond our ap- love those songs. The song is Jesus Christ by the state of Mormon music. “But she’s re- preciation for what Mormon culture has and all the things in the restored gospel that I pented,” he said. A good laugh line, per- done and can do for its adherents and con- have learned.” haps. But doesn’t this obscure a genuine verts. It is time that we welcome an infusion She appeared pleased to have come upon problem? of peoples with a diversity of cultural, the revelation from God through Brigham Those converts to Mormonism who are of artistic, and intellectual traditions. Welcome Young urging the Saints, “If thou art merry, the most use to their adopted faith are not their differences; we have much to learn from praise the Lord with singing, with music . . . necessarily those who drop their cultural them. These newcomers, particularly those with dancing” (D&C 136:28). Although, as baggage at the church door. Are there not who insist on maintaining their own styles she added, “I ain’t seen much dancing yet.” thousands of Latter-day Saints hungry for an and keeping them original and fresh, will be “Music,” she said, “is one of the best tools injection of new spirit, music, and culture crucial in enriching a stream that must flow for bridging gaps” between people. “Music from other traditions? The response of the wider and deeper if our religious life is not lifts you. It gets you close to the Lord right women’s conference audience to Knight and to stagnate. away. Music has so many uses, and it does the stake fireside audience to Bailey seem to touch the heart.” Although those in the suggest this longing. To comment or read comments by others, Church may not be accustomed to the sound There was a clear and interesting visit
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PILLARS OF MY FAITH get blown off and the pillars need repair. And the Parthenon’s pillars are not one contin- uous piece of stone; the great columns are sections of stones, one stacked on top of the other. Rather than one seamless, tall column, HE ILLARS OSTS many smaller pieces create each pillar. My T P , P , faith also is neither seamless nor unbroken. It has been nourished and sustained, broken AND BEAMS OF MY FAITH down and rebuilt by many experiences and people. Some of my most creative times have been when I tear down and rebuild some- By Charlotte H. England thing. So now, let me share with you a few of the things in my life I have used as the pillars, posts, and beams in constructing and recon- structing my Mormon faith.
NE of the pillars sustaining my faith is my Grandma Johnson, a woman I “Since childhood, O know only by one memory of her taking me on a walk near her Ogden, Utah, I’ve been able to home. Grandma died before I was four, so attack what seem like this one memory is precious. Elizabeth Jane Johnson was loved and adored by all who impossible problems knew her. Free of hypocrisy, she had integrity and faith. When her husband, Grandpa if they have Johnson, had been asked to take a young im- migrant woman from England to be his anything to do second wife, Grandma Johnson, apparently with building, tearing brokenhearted, took her youngest children and left for a couple of months. No one knew down, or redoing. where she’d gone nor when she’d return. However, when she did return, she made I am not one sure Aunt Mary received the help and in- to spend a lot struction she needed to manage a household and care for her family. of time thinking I think it was difficult for Grandma to be in a polygamous marriage, but her letters and and talking about a all reports from family members who knew her confirm her deep commitment to the problem once I have Church and her faith in an afterlife. As she lay a clear idea dying, she returned briefly from the afterlife to tell her children who surrounded her about how to tackle it.” what she had experienced there. My mother said Grandma described colors beyond our imagination. This attention to visual details of KATHERINE ENGLAND the next life seems fitting since both Grandma ILLARS BRINGS TO mind a visit center, rises above Athens. The Greek and Mother were artistic and very sensitive to to the Parthenon in Greece some temple that once housed statues, including nature and its range of color. Such stories of P years ago. It was raining, and few the Goddess Athena, and was decorated Grandma Johnson are stones for me, pieces braved the weather, so my daughter Jody with brightly colored friezes, now stands that together form a pillar of my faith. and I had the Acropolis nearly to ourselves. empty and roofless with broken remains I don’t know how thin the veil between us Jody was a perfect companion because she lying about the grounds. The great pillars of and those who have left this life is, but I had knew and loved Greek mythology. The the Parthenon have not held up their roof a vivid dream of my grandmother a few years Acropolis, with the Parthenon planted in its since l687, when the Turks stored their am- ago. I was walking along the bank of the munition there and an explosion from a South Fork of the Ogden River where my carefully aimed shell blew it off. Even mother’s sister had a tiny cabin. This cabin CHARLOTTE ENGLAND is an without the roof and bright colors and had no running water or electricity, but it was artist, chef, musician, grandmother statues, it is a magnificent edifice. a wonderful retreat where we slept on old extraordinaire. A version of this The pillars of the Parthenon are a fitting feather beds, listened to the rush of the river, paper was presented at the 1998 Salt image for my faith because I sometimes feel and smelled the cottonwood trees that Lake Sunstone Symposium (tape #SL98-391). as if the cover or roof of my faith does indeed shaded the cabin. South Fork was also a fa-
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miliar place to Grandma Johnson, who had meaning to me than ever before. That this her more stress. So I settled for the privilege loved fishing there. woman, whose crippled body we were caring of caring for her. However, I have faith and In my dream, my grandmother was for, would walk and run again without pain hope that after this life, we will be able to ex- walking toward me along the river bank felt right and true to me. As we lifted and press and do many things that were left un- where I had played as a child, and I hurried dressed her body in temple clothes, as she said or undone. to meet her. As we met, she reached her arms had requested, I felt some of my fear of death out to me, took hold of mine, and looked me leave me. And I felt blessed to serve this ENE and I were married three days straight in the eyes. She said clearly, woman I had never known. It has often been before Christmas, l953. It was a “Charlotte, you can do anything you want to small, quiet acts of service like this one that G peaceful day with only a few couples do.” I was overwhelmed with the love that have supported my faith. in the Salt Lake Temple, something almost washed over me and with pure faith—a gift I was not prepared, however, to face my impossible to find now. But “peaceful” is not from my grandmother with whom I had not own mother’s death some years later. When the adjective I would choose to describe our conversed for more than six decades. my mother was dying of cancer and living in life together since that day. “Predictably un- Her words mean so much because they our home so that I could care for her, I found predictable” is more accurate. I suppose my give me faith to overcome my insecurities myself wanting to ask so many questions life would have been more predictable if I and fears, which I have struggled with all my only she could answer. I never asked the hadn’t married Gene (and his also if he hadn’t life. Among my fears are: facing death; questions though, because I feared showing married me, I would add), but, as one of my finding faith sufficient to sustain me—espe- any lack of faith in her recovery. Talking daughters suggested the other day, I chose cially when others depend on me; and about life without her would have been like the rollercoaster over the carousel ride. I have having to articulate and share my faith and admitting defeat. By acting so stoically, I been hoping for a few rides on the carousel doubt to an audience greater than zero. missed a great opportunity. I had also wanted now that Gene’s retired, but that just hasn’t Throughout my life, my soul has been en- to send messages to others she would soon happened yet. larged and my faith confirmed when I’ve meet. I had wanted to ask her to embrace my At the center of the cover illustration for faced rather than ignored these fears. dear sister, Dorothy Bee, who a few years ear- the issue of the Student Review honoring lier had taken her own life. Gene on his BYU retirement, our son, Mark, ERVING others and focusing on their My sister’s suicide has been the greatest placed a heroic-looking couple in a small needs have helped me put aside some challenge my faith has had. Every day since boat in the middle of a storm-tossed sea. A S of my worst fears, including that of her death, I have grieved her loss, wished she bearded Brigham Young looms in the back- death. Years ago, shortly after we moved to were here, and wondered how she is. When ground. Mark leaves his work open to inter- Northfield, Minnesota, for Gene’s job at St. caring for my mother, I didn’t know how to pretation, but I think he is suggesting that his Olaf’s College, I was asked to dress the body approach either my sister’s death or of parents have weathered together waves of of an elderly woman who had died after Mother’s own likely death without causing controversy and led adventurous lives. True, many years of lying crip- pled in a bed at the Odd Fellows home. Terrified, I was certain they made a mistake in calling me, and I said so: “There must be a Relief Society sister that could do the job.” “Yes, there is,” the mission presi- dent’s wife answered, “It is you.” At least I would not be alone. Another woman in the branch, who would become a dear friend over the years, helped me. Together, we prayed for guidance in handling this fragile, crippled body with respect and love. That help came as the sweetest spirit filled the room with the three of us.
This tiny, lifeless body be- Treasures of Half-Truth) came a person to Jean and me as we imagined what
her life had been like. PAT BAGLEY (from At that moment, the Savior’s promise of the Resurrection had greater
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some controversies have taken their toll, but was feeling. Becky was in the process of dis- I love the gospel, and I stand all amazed at never has an individual or institution dimin- covery. As I saw the light go on for her, the my Savior’s love. I believe he accepts and ished my core belief in the gospel and the darkness left my mind. My plea had been loves me and wants me to do the same, for Savior. My marriage and family life with heard, and the answer came in a small myself and others—as different as we might Gene and our children is another pillar of my whisper. My tasks weren’t taken from me, be from one another—even within our im- faith—another pillar built piece by piece but I saw that individuals—each of us—find mediate families. through our shared adventures and experi- truth in our own best way. This incident, Gene and I, our children, and their ences. though not dramatic, was an answer to my spouses, are a tight family, but still we allow The adventures in our marriage have prayer. God hears and loves us. This faith for our differences. When feelings get hurt, made me confront some fears and rely on my helps me struggle through my doubts and phones soon ring, and the hurt gets talked faith in God. Six months into our marriage, fears. out. The other day, my daughter Katherine we began serving as missionaries in Samoa, called upon her arrival in Costa Rica just to where we found ourselves strangers in a AM uncomfortable sharing some things apologize for her abrupt manner at her de- strange and beautiful land, without the com- that are personal. I appreciate people parture. She had not wanted me to feel unap- fort of friends and family. In a village on the I who have the ability to stand in a preciated even one day. She expressed her top of an extinct volcano, Gene and I taught meeting and bare their lives and beliefs and love for me. school in an old building used also for experiences—the pieces that make up the I’m pleased how my children often show church meetings and village gatherings. In pillars of their faith. My children know that it patience and tolerance for those with whom this small, remote, beautiful village, I first felt would be easier for me to build a cabin than they don’t see eye to eye, in everything from my faith confirmed. to give this talk. As a builder and artist, I’m doctrine to politics to art. They even tolerate Gene contracted an infection in his hand fearless. Since childhood, I’ve been able to at- me and my sometimes antiquated ideas. I that we treated with a few basic supplies, but tack what seem like impossible problems if have re-examined my own faith as I see them the hand would not heal. I used all my reme- they have anything to do with building, struggle with theirs. Even if many questions dies and then tried some Samoan ones tearing down, or redoing. I am not one to remain unanswered, the questions matter, es- without improvement. One morning as I was spend a lot of time thinking and talking pecially if they are, as Leonard Arrington fre- bathing his hand in a basin of water, I no- about a problem once I have a clear idea quently said, questions of human and divine ticed the veins in his arm had turned red. about how to tackle it. meaning and purpose. Fear grabbed me: I realized it was blood poi- There are times when Gene and my chil- When all else fails, humor helps me keep soning. How was I to get Gene proper care in dren wonder if this faith and self-confidence the faith. Voltaire states that comedy provides such an isolated place, far from a doctor or are a blessing or just a pain in the neck. An the best of all possible mirrors to the life it hospital? I ruled out the long horseback trip example is the time early in our marriage mocks. Thank goodness for Robert Kirby down the mountain and boat ride to the when we bought an old, fix-up house in Palo and Elouise Bell and James Arrington for other island. I pleaded with God to help me, Alto, California, near Stanford. Old houses holding up wonderful, unflattering mirrors to guide me to do the right things for Gene. can have problems with the use of space. to our Utah Mormon culture. Their affection After making him as comfortable as possible, This one had no passage between the kitchen for our culture, even as they poke fun at all of I gathered anything that might help. I felt and dining room. This design was very im- us, has pulled me out of many a too-serious guided to do simple tasks, such as boiling practical, and I quickly tired of going from theological jam. My family and I often share a our water supply that collected from the roof the kitchen through the wash room to get to laugh over their irreverent humor. into the rain barrel—something we never the dining room. So one day, I took a Our family recently shared laughter in did, but it kept me busy. I watched, prayed, crowbar and knocked the wall down, pre- our joy over the birth of Isaac, a new and fasted for three days. On the fourth day, I serving only the studs and wiring. When grandson. His arrival seemed a miracle to our was overjoyed to find the redness gone and Gene came home and saw the gaping hole in family. Though for several years our daughter Gene feeling stronger. I don’t understand the wall, he was speechless—for just the first Jennifer had nurtured a menagerie of birds, a miracles—how or why they happen on some time in his life. He would repeat that look tortoise, rabbit, cat, dog, parrot, fish, and occasions but not others. I didn’t question it; many times during our marriage. duck, she was feeling a little shaky in this I just said, “Thank You.” My creative talent and energy have served new job. And so I happily responded to her I remember feeling overwhelmed as a as an expression of my faith. The post-and- request to come sooner than I had planned, young mother: I was caring for a new baby beam construction used in the cabins and spending two weeks caring for mother and and five other young children, supporting house Gene and I have built might actually child. Seeing Isaac struggle awkwardly to Gene in his efforts to get Dialogue: A Journal be a better metaphor than pillars for the cre- adapt to this life, and yet finding him so re- of Mormon Thought off the ground and finish ative dimension of my faith. Our home and ceptive to our love, renewed my faith. He his doctorate, and trying to squeeze in time cabin are informal and have been places will grow up surrounded by love. Whatever to practice my violin and to paint. One day where people from all over the world— doubts he might eventually struggle with, I while rocking our new baby Jane and family, friends, and strangers—have gathered hope he will experience and accept the per- watching our two-year-old Becky playing on and found warmth, food, beds, acceptance, fect love that Christ gives all of us, if we will the floor, I silently prayed for help in carrying and often lively discussion. I have been chal- receive it. I share these pillars, posts, and these responsibilities. Tears welled up as I lenged and nourished by many people who beams with you in the name of our Savior, asked for the strength and ability to meet my have shared our home with us. Experiences Jesus Christ. challenges. I looked down at Becky patiently with diverse people throughout my life are trying to solve a puzzle, and something hap- the spiritual posts and beams I have used to To comment or read comments by others, pened that pulled me away from the burden I construct my cabin of faith. visit
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CORNUCOPIA
SUNSTONE invites short musings: chatty reports, cultural trend President Kimball’s home, he got out of his car and came to- sightings, theological meditations. All lovely things of good report, ward us. I asked if we could take a few pictures of the house. please share them.
Peculiar People
EDUCATION AND RELIGIOUS ACTIVITY
THERE IS A WIDESPREAD PERCEPTION THAT members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have above average educational attainment. The General Social Survey does not support this per- ception, showing only a modest difference in the av- eraged educational levels of Mormons and other Americans. The correlation between education and church attendance, however, is much higher for Mormons than for others. The data suggests that the most committed Mormons who attend church weekly are substantially more educated than are fre- quent church attenders nationally. The difference in education among religiously active people clearly shows higher educational attainment among the LDS membership. Thus, the perception of an educated membership is accurate if we focus only on those who are most involved.
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(Left to Right) Mindy Morris, Devery Anderson, President Spencer W. Kimball, Sister Camilla Kimball, Nyle Smith, and Mark Johnson in front of the Kimball home, February 1979
onds. The prophet greeted them, too. President Kimball then gave us some parting words. As we four stood in the living room with President Kimball, “Remember to keep the commandments and to make good Sister Camilla Kimball came in from the kitchen and also memories daily. This will be a wonderful memory for us.” And greeted us. Then they invited us to sit down. We visited about as he shook our hands, he said, “Thank you so much for com- twenty minutes. ing over.” The meeting was not preachy. This was not the Spencer W. After the Kimballs went back inside, the security guard said Kimball of The Miracle of Forgiveness. We did not even discuss the Kimballs had just returned from Hawaii the night before, the Church at all. He wanted to know our names and where we that they were quite tired, and that was the reason they were were from. Since Nyle was from Salt Lake, he asked President spending the day at home. To our great joy, they hadn’t been Kimball if he had known an aged relative of his. President too tired for four college students. Kimball responded enthusiastically. “Yes, I knew her very well. I In 1979, I thought the Church was large with its four and a wonder if she remembers me.” In near disbelief, Nyle re- half million members. However, it was still a time when the sponded: “Uh. . .I think she remembers you, President Kimball.” Church’s president could live in his own home and greet Once during our chat, President Kimball thought he heard strangers without a security officer becoming overly alarmed. someone coming up his steps and jumped up to answer the The Church has eleven million members now, so I understand door. He seemed genuinely disappointed that it was not more the old days are gone, and I understand the need for the pres- company. “Oh, they are going to the house next door.” ident of the Church to have an official residence, where a wave Before we left, President Kimball remembered my original from the street can no longer result in an invitation to come in. question. “So, did you want a picture?” “Yes!” I responded. But for four students, our subsequent attempts to “make good “Oh, you don’t want one of us. We can give you one of us. memories daily” have probably not often surpassed the ones Let’s get one of all of us together.” we made on that winter day. So, we went outside, and the security guard snapped a pic- —DEVERY S. ANDERSON ture with my camera and one with Nyle’s. Salt Lake City, Utah
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A Pearl of Great Price most innumerable flock of sheep of all kinds, sizes, colours, and descriptions, from the largest, finest sheep I ever saw, down to the ugly decrepit dwarf. “THEY ARE ALL GOOD The wool on the large ones, I thought, was as white as IN THEIR PLACE” snow; then the next smaller ones had also nice fine wool on them, and some were black and white; others N THE EARLY DAYS OF THE had coarse long wool upon them, approximating to Restoration, the Saints seem to hair; and so on, until they became a mixture of goats I have craved the immediate and sheep. I looked on the strange flock and won- “word of the Lord” to guide them in dered. While I was looking, I asked Joseph what in the doctrine and duty. And during Joseph world he was going to do with such a flock of sheep, Smith’s leadership, they were rarely and said to him, “Why, brother Joseph, you have got left wanting. the most singular flock of sheep I ever saw: what are Brigham Young had a different you going to do with them?” He looked up and leadership style—at least partly be- smiled, as he did when he was living, and as though cause he felt that the Saints had much yet to do in following he was in reality with me, and said, “They are all good in the revelations already received in the Doctrine and their place.” This is the dream. Covenants. President Young also seems to have wanted them So it is with this people. (J.D., 6:320-21) to follow the counsel of their leaders without so much prod- —William B. Quist ding by supernatural spurs. Salt Lake City, Utah So it is quite unusual to note when he refered to his own revelatory experiences (other than impressions) more than Sunstone Top Twelve (or so) once or twice. Yet such is the case with his 1848 dream of the sheep and the goats, which appears in the Journal of Discourses A BRIEF GLANCE in three places (6:320-21; 3:321-22; 18:244-45). And the con- text of the following excerpt, the earliest of these three refer- RT LINKLETTER USED TO CATALOGUE ences, makes it clear that President Young expected his hearers the contents of women’s purses. In a to be already familiar with the dream. Also striking, besides A New York Times piece, Julia Lawlor did the multiple retellings, is his consistency in details among the the same thing for the briefcase of Mormon au- various narratives. thor, national motivational speaker and leader- You will perhaps recollect a dream I had in the spring ship guru Stephen R. Covey. Here is what she found: of 1848, when so many were going to California. It 1. Scriptures seemed as though the whole community would be 2. Sunday School manual for the class he teaches carried away with the spirit of gold, which caused 3. U.S. News & World Report much anxiety in my mind [sic, missing text] and en- 4. The Economist lightened my understanding. I dreamed I was a little 5. Leading Minds by Howard Gardner north of the hot springs, with many of my brethren, 6. The Power of Character, a collection of essays among some scattered timber. I thought of sending to 7. The manuscript for a work in progress Captain Brown’s, on the Weber river, to get some 8. A Franklin Planner goats, which I had previously bought of him; but 9. The Official Airline Guide while I was conversing with the brethren, I thought 10. Multi-vitamins (Senator Orin Hatch suggested them, the Prophet Joseph Smith came up to us, and I spoke but Covey says he can’t tell if they make a difference) to him. I thought I would send for my goats which I 11. A compass he uses in his speeches had purchased from Captain Brown, and brother 12. Theater binoculars Joseph started off to the north, and I thought very 13. A sleeping mask likely he would purchase the whole of brother 14. Baseball cap (to reduce the odds of being recog- Brown’s stock; but I felt quite reconciled, if he did. I nized on airplanes). thought I stood there some time talking with the brethren, when I looked up towards the road on my Twenty Years Ago in Sunstone right, and behold I saw brother Joseph returning, rid- ing on a waggon without any box to it; but it had a “ETERNAL LIFE BEGINS NOW” bottom of boards, and on these boards there was a tent and other camping implements, &c., as though N THE JANUARY-FEBRUARY 1981 ISSUE OF he had been on a journey of some length. He alighted SUNSTONE, John Sillito briefly introduced readers (many from the waggon, and came to where we were stand- I for the first time) to the life, teachings, and spirit of ing. I looked, and saw, following the waggon, an al- Dorothy Day, the leader of the Catholic Worker movement,
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who had passed away a few months previously. In his memo- hard to love. It is the hardest thing in the world. . . . riam, Sillito features several passages from her book, Meditations: There is plenty to do for each one of us, working on our own hearts, changing our own attitudes, in our We are not expecting a utopia here on this earth, but own neighborhoods . . . in thought, word and deed. God meant things to be much easier than we have Prayer and fasting, taking up our own cross daily, and made them. A man has a natural right to food, cloth- following Him, doing penance, these are the hard ing and shelter. A certain amount of goods is neces- words of the Gospel. . . . sary to lead a good life. A family needs work as well as bread. . . . We must keep repeating these things. “Love is indeed a harsh and dreadful thing,” to ask of Eternal life begins now. us, of each one of us, but it is the only answer.
It is not love in the abstract that counts. . . . Men have Sillito concludes: “The final lines of her book On Pilgrimage loved the . . . workers, the poor, the oppressed—but serve not only as a fitting eulogy to Dorothy Day but also as a they have not loved man, they have not loved the reminder to us all of the real meaning of living a Christian life: least of these. They have not loved “personally.” It is ‘Love is the measure by which we will be judged.’ ”
Of Good Report “SOMETHING MARKED ME, SOMETHING HAPPENED”
“Generation X” is the term most widely applied to the generation of Americans born in the 1960s and ’70s. As author and theologian Tom Beaudoin notes, the “X” is, in many ways, appropriate, signifying that this group is a “moving target,” hard to define. Still, contrary to easy characterizations of the X generation as non-religious “slackers,” Beaudoin makes the strong claim that through impropriety and the irreverence they often display, Xers are “strikingly religious.” In this excerpt from his book, Virtual Faith: The Irreverent Spiritual Quest of Generation X, Beaudoin offers several interpretations for the popularity of body piercing and tattooing among Xers.
Y THE LATE 1980S AND EARLY 1990S, BODY PIERCING foundly experiential encounters. At the least, then, this turn B and tattooing were increasingly common Xer fashion to piercing and tattooing reflects the centrality of personal statements. . . . Piercing signifies immediate, bodily, and con- and intimate experience in Xers’ lives. stant attention to the intimacy of experience. To pierce one’s There may also be some truth for Xers in English professor body is to leave a permanent mark of intense physical experi- Andrew Ross’s suggestion that piercing and tattooing signify ence, whether pleasurable or painful. Though it has been identification with “semicriminalized codes of the outcast,” as more than a decade since my own piercing, the mark of in- such outcasts are identifiable by various sorts of body mark- delible experience is ever with me, as proof that something ings. This would be consistent with Xers’ history as a genera- marked me, something happened. This permanence or deep ex- tion unafraid to explore the margins, the psychologically perience indicates why piercings have religious significance marginalized recipients of a critical mass of social dysfunc- across cultures, and why rites of cutting or piercing the body tions. This history surely has encouraged many Xers, particu- are common in many religions. larly those with “punk” styles, to choose scarification out of For Xers, marking the body has various layers of mean- sympathy toward the possibly romanticized outcast. . . . ing. This vague sense of being indelibly marked signifies the We are a generation willing to have experience, to be pro- childhoods that have permanently but ambiguously marked foundly marked, even cut, when religious institutions have not (or even scarred) many Xers. And despite—or perhaps be- given us those opportunities. It could even be said that our in- cause of—the religious significance of piercing, Xers pierce dulgence in tattoos mocks the hypercommercial world in themselves outside the religious context. Whether in the which we live; tattooing is the only way we have control over cathedral-like anonymity of an antiseptic mall or the clois- “branding” ourselves, instead of being name-branded to death. ter of a friend’s basement, they administer to themselves gold or silver rings—which in some cases function as their —TOM BEAUDOIN own sacramentals. This is partly because religious institu- from Virtual Faith tions today are unable to provide for deeply marking, pro- Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1998, 77–78
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My Creed past grievances are vapors that only gently steam the win- dows—a result, I think, of accepting that I have more control over my daily existence than I had once thought. TO RECEIVE THE WORLD 1. I believe in the presence of God. It is not particularly impor- HE MATHEMATICAL GENIUS Karl Friedrich Gauss tant to me whether God has a body, parts, and passions, not once remarked, “I have been sure of my results for that I disbelieve he does. Nor is it important to me whether T some time; what I don’t know is how I shall arrive at there are three distinct beings included in the Godhead nor the them.” With some difficulty, I have condensed my creed to specifics of each. What is important is that I feel the presence four basic concepts—core beliefs that have not changed for as of God in my life—a spiritual presence that is sometimes pal- long as I can remember. How I arrive at them, though, contin- pable, a parental presence who cares about me and his other ues to change as I accumulate new and various experiences. I children, a presence who presides over and animates the nat- am at an age when my youngest child is worried about being ural world. I have always been fond of the idea that God is relieved of some of his hair; when retirement and downsizing large enough to fill the whole universe, yet small enough to fit are frequent topics at our house, at an age when simplicity and into a single heart. In short, I think God is greater than our hu- calm are more esteemed, but increasingly vague. Some of my man comprehension.
Translated Correctly
UNTIL “WE ARRIVE AT REAL MATURITY” EPHESIANS 4:11-16
KING JAMES VERSION NEW TESTAMENT IN MODERN THE NEW ENGLISH BIBLE ENGLISH, J. B. Phillips Oxford and Cambridge, 1970 Macmillan, 1972
11 And he gave some, apostles; and His “gifts unto men” were varied. Some he And these were his gifts: some to be apos- some, prophets; and some, evangelists; made his messengers, some prophets, some tles, some prophets, some evangelists, some and some, pastors and teachers; preachers of the gospel; to some he gave the pastors and teachers, to equip God’s people for 12 For the perfecting of the saints, power to guide and teach his people. His gifts work in his service, to the building up of the for the work of the ministry, for the edi- were made that Christians might be properly body of Christ. So shall we all at last attain to fying of the body of Christ: equipped for their service, that the whole body the unity inherent in our faith and our knowl- 13 Till we all come in the unity of might be built up until the time comes when, in edge of the Son of God—to mature manhood, the faith, and of the knowledge of the the unity of common faith and common measured by nothing less than the full stature Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto knowledge of the Son of God, we arrive at real of Christ. We are no longer to be children, the measure of the stature of the fulness maturity—that measure of development which tossed by the waves and whirled about by every of Christ: is meant by “the fulness of Christ”. fresh gust of teaching, dupes of crafty rogues 14 That we henceforth be no more and their deceitful schemes. No, let us speak children, tossed to and fro, and carried True maturity means growing up “into” Christ the truth in love; so shall we fully grow up into about with every wind of doctrine, by Christ. He is the head, and on him the whole the sleight of men, and cunning crafti- We are not meant to remain as children at body depends. Bonded and knit together by ness, whereby they lie in wait to de- the mercy of every chance wind of teaching, every constituent joint, the whole frame grows ceive; and of the jockeying of men who are expert in through the due activity of each part, and 15 But speaking the truth in love, the crafty presentation of lies. But we are meant builds itself up in love. may grow up into him in all things, to speak the truth in love, and to grow up in which is the head, even Christ: every way into Christ, the head. For it is from 16 From whom the whole body fitly the head that the whole body, as a harmonious joined together and compacted by that structure knit together by the joints with which which every joint supplieth, according it is provided, grows by the proper functioning to the effectual working in the measure of individual parts, and so builds itself up in of every part, maketh increase of the love. body unto the edifying of itself in love.
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2. I believe in worship. “If I love you,” Goethe asks, “what choose to learn from mistakes, I benefit; if I don’t, my does that matter to you?” What difference does it make that I progress slows. What I learn becomes part of my personal feel God in my life? I confess that God’s demands to be wor- repertoire; what I don’t learn, doesn’t. To quote Oliver, from shiped used to annoy me. But I begin to see this insistence not her poem “The Book of Time”: as egotistical or self-serving but as beneficial to those who worship. It is a blessing to see, a further blessing to spend our What is my name, gratitude. I value group worship, a community of common be- o what is my name lief wherein we give and receive encouragement and concern. that I may offer it back Especially, though, I embrace personal worship and the soli- to the beautiful world? tude it necessitates. I became a university student in midlife. In one of my first 4. I believe in the virtues stated by Joseph Smith in the classes, an orientation exercise required us to rank various lists Thirteenth Article of Faith: we should be honest, true, chaste, according to personal values. Each time I ranked aesthetics last benevolent, virtuous, and do good to all people. This is what I (after responsibility, spirituality, even leisure). Like many, I had think it means to be temple-worthy; it constitutes the latter- been planted, watered, and fertilized in the day version of the Golden Rule. western/Mormon/American work ethic (which I still do em- With Paul, I embrace hope and optimism including the brace). But I found poetry. Through it, I learned that in order promise of a progressively better life as we improve in knowl- to write, one must pause, must absorb a thing with each of the edge and experience. I have faith that significant associations five senses. One must meet the muse halfway. with others will continue. When asked how one of his new plays was faring on the I believe in seeking (seeking being a working word) what- London stage, Oscar Wilde replied, “The play is a great suc- ever is virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. What cess—but the audience is a failure.” I believe that the created fits this criteria is not necessarily clear cut. I belong to a writ- world is a success; the work of individuals is to receive it. ers group of which most members are active Latter-day Scripture says: “Be still and know that I am God.” I require Saints, and questions often arise, especially after someone has the catharsis that comes from worship. “My God what a been to the temple, that sound something like this: Is it right world,” the writer Annie Dillard says, “There is no accounting to spend so much of our limited time writing? If so, should for one second of it.” “Beauty,” she continues, “is not a hoax . . . we not consecrate our talent to the Church? Does that mean [it] is real. I would never deny it; the appalling thing is that I then that we should write “spiritual” poetry? But I feel that forget it. . . . [T]he universe was not made in jest but in solemn whatever is virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy incomprehensible earnest. By a power that is unfathomably se- is spiritual; the source is irrelevant. Spiritual includes the sad, cret, and holy, and fleet. There is nothing to be done about it, the difficult, the ugly, the cruel—the vital other half of God’s but ignore it, or see.” plan. From Thailand comes the wisdom, “Life is so short, we In speaking of art, the late columnist Sydney Harris said, must move very slowly.” And from the poet Naomi Shihab “[It] is not there primarily to make us feel good, to stuff us, or Nye, “Everything is famous if you notice it.” to cater to our sense of the familiar or comfortable. Its main 3. I believe, to paraphrase the second Article of Faith, in per- function is to prompt us out of our intellectual and emotional sonal responsibility—that we will be punished not only for our sins ruts and get us to share in the artist’s vision.” God is the artist but also rewarded for doing what is right and good. In other words, of our world. His plan situates us outside Eden where our ex- I believe in rules and rewards. I think we ultimately reap the perience includes the lovely and the unlovely. Nancy Mairs, a harvests of both good and bad living. I sat through a Sunday writer with multiple sclerosis, speaks from experience: “To School discussion about a man who had joined the Church in view your life as blessed does not require you to deny your his late years. Most of his life had been spent in sin. Some class pain. It simply demands a more complicated vision, one in members thought it ‘‘not fair” that he might make it to the which a condition or event is not either good or bad but is, Celestial Kingdom when he had been ‘‘able to live it up for rather, both good and bad, not sequentially but simultane- most of his life.” The long-suffering righteous, they argued, ously.” should be more sufficiently rewarded. With the teacher, I I believe we agreed to this life test. mourned the man’s lost years of peace and contentment. I em- I believe we can personally fail or brace the moral and ethical lifestyle advocated by the Church pass it, find joy in it or not, know and agree with the poet Mary Oliver that “eternity is not later, God in it or not. I am comforted by or in any unfindable place.” the concept that a more glorious I believe we are responsible for sins of omission—things power than I can comprehend pre- we could have done but didn’t, both for others and for our- sides over the world. That he cares if I selves; that we will be accountable for what we could have be- make it. come, but didn’t. By requiring individual responsibility, God gifts us with respect. As I make my own choices and —MARILYN BUSHMAN-CARLTON covenants, I reap my own rewards and punishments. If I Salt Lake City, Utah
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In Their Daily Lives . . . We ought our Bishops to sustain, Their counsels to abide, “HELP HUSBAND GET A WIFE!” And knock down every dwelling Where wicked folks reside: URING THE 1856-57 “REFORMATION MOVE- We ought our Teachers to respect, ment,” Latter-day Saints were called upon to raise Not give them looks nor snubs; D their level of piety. The Reformation cannot fairly be And keep our ditches free from pots, blamed on First Presidency Second Counselor Jedediah M. Likewise from stinking tubs. Grant’s short temper, but the movement does seem to have be- Then, O, brethren, come, &c. gan when he flamed up in frustration at a meeting of LDS bish- ops in September 1856. Consider: when President Grant Now, sisters, list to what I say,— asked his hearers to stand if they prayed alone and in-family With trials this world is rife, and washed themselves at least weekly, most stayed sitting. You can’t expect to miss them all, And those were the bishops! Help husband get a wife! Fiery preaching and calls to repentance spread widely Now, this advice I freely give, through “Mormon Country,” prompting Saints to reform and If exalted you would be, Gentiles to become wary. The sermons were supported by Remember that your husband must songs such as the following: Be blessed with more than thee. Then, O, let us say, THE REFORMATION God bless the wife that strives TUNE—‘ROSA MAY.’ And aids her husband all she can The reformation has commenced, T’ obtain a dozen wives. All hail! the glorious day, May God his Holy Spirit send Now, brethren, let us study To guide us in his way: To do the will of God; Now, brethren, the time has come If it’s sowing, reaping, preaching, For wickedness to cease; We’ll get a just reward: So live like honest Saints of God, Keep sacred all your covenants, And righteousness increase. And do the best you can; Chorus: I pray that God will bless you all, Then, O brethren, come, Worlds without end. Amen. And let us all agree, Then, O, brethren, come, &c. And strive to gain the blessings In store for you and me. (Sung in the 17th Ward School House, by P. Margetts, G.S.L. City, Oct. 15, 1856. From The Deseret News, Vol. VI, To gain these blessings we must try No. 38, Wed., Nov. 26, 1856, p. 302.) And do what we are told; I’ll tell you what we ought to do, Cybersaints If you won’t think me bold: We ought to put down wickedness, THE “UPBUILDING” OF ZION We ought to watch and pray, We ought to build the kingdom up— ILL MARTIN IS A SOCIAL THEORIST AND PROFES- Not loaf our time away. sor of philosophy at DePaul University in Chicago. He Then, O, brethren, come, &c. B is a frequent presenter at Sunstone symposiums and is currently writing a book on Mormon community. This spring, We ought to leave our houses neat, a member of the LDS-Phil email discussion group asked Bill, a Our Teachers to obey, non-Mormon, about his interest in Mormonism. The following We ought to keep our bodies clean, is an abridged version of his reply: Our tithing always pay: My interest in things LDS primarily has to do with my We ought our brother’s character hope that human community is possible, and I see Keep sacred as our own, LDS history and community as a very large reservoir Attend to business all we can, of lessons on this subject. A few lessons aren’t won- Let other folks alone. derful, but many are, and overall, my view is positive. Then, O, brethren, come, &c. I also put the not-so-wonderful lessons into the cate- gory of the twists and turns that are a necessary part of building Zion.
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I am interested in LDS theology, especially its mate- Margin Notes rialism, but I always want to understand that in the context of Zion and the possibility of human co-flour- ishing. At its best, I think LDS theology amounts to a philosophy of what sorts of things have to be the case for community and redemption (or redemptive com- munity) to be possible. I don’t even want to go so far as to say that this theology gives us the necessary con- ditions for this possibility, because I think that runs contrary to the materiality of our real, sensuous lives in the temporal stream. The upbuilding of Zion has to be a real, material unfolding—even if parts of this EYES THAT LOOK LIKE GOD’S process occur in the twinkling of an eye; otherwise, I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a there is no real point to this experiment in mortality; pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look it is just God playing with toy soldiers in his infinite up, having the image of God engraven upon your counte- sandbox. nances?—Alma 5:19 To me, Mormonism is a form of Christianity that respects the basic dignity of the human person, in the Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet form of moral agency, in a way that much of the rest appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall of Christianity does not. It is a fascinating and highly appear, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he appealing aspect of LDS theology that, as someone is.—1 John 3:2 whom I respect very much said to me at the Sunstone Symposium last August, God is the sort of person BTAINING GOD’S IMAGE IN OURSELVES IS MORE who wants peers and partners—so that we can all a matter of seeing than being seen. We will appear take part in the great work that needs to be done in O like God when we are able to see him as he is; or, in this world and in worlds without end. other words, when we are able to see correctly, perceiving the All of this strikes me as very radical and good, and world and God as God would perceive them. despite the various compromises with “Seeing correctly” is difficult because it has more to do with capitalism that have occurred within the Mormon interpreting facts than simply perceiving them. Seeing a per- community, and of course the various son’s hair color, skin color, weight, and other characteristics injuries inflicted from without, that basic commu- correctly is one thing; seeing the individual with God’s vision nity spirit in which it is wrong to treat our fel- lows as mere things is Thank You! Thank You! still strong. Indeed, as I understand it, and es- pecially as developed by the Pratts and Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for Brigham Young, it is knowledge . . . but most especially those who also not only our sisters and organize regional symposiums! brothers in our own species who ought not Sunstone West Sunstone Washington DC be treated as mere 20-21 April 2001 4-5 May 2001 things, but also all the other creatures of the RICHARD RANDS JINELLE MONK Earth, and even those JANET KINCAID things ordinarily thought of as “inani- With Outstanding Help From: mate”—rocks and Janet Brigham Rands Megan Fotheringham rivers, the sun, the Mary Ellen Robertson Becky Linford moon, and the stars. So, I think the vision of co-flourishing there is very strong, and I take
a good deal of inspira- Thank You! Thank You! tion from it.
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and understanding is quite another. It involves knowing which While the Fisher King had been guilty of pride and other mis- facts are important and which are less so. Time and again in takes, the fool concentrated on what was needed in the pre- the scriptures, we learn that, in God’s sight, the most impor- sent—the compassion that would help bring out the good in tant fact about us is the potential we have to do good and ap- the king that had made him guardian of the grail in the first proach perfection. place. The story of the Fisher King shows how this perception Christ’s compassionate perception of us allows him to un- works. The king had been chosen to be the guardian of the derstand our weaknesses and see past them, to love us and Holy Grail, but through his pride, he lost it. For years, the king know we are capable of good though we are not perfect. In sent knights in search of the grail. Each returned empty- Doctrine and Covenants 93, the Lord delivers a string of re- handed. The king grew old and approached death in despair bukes to Joseph Smith, Sidney Rigdon, and others, but he in- because he had lost what he was supposed to protect. terrupts his chastisements to call all who are gathered his On his deathbed, the Fisher King cried out for water. A fool friends, to make certain they understand his love for them. He who was wandering by took a cup from beside the king’s bed, wants them to rise above their weak- filled it with water, and gave it to the king. nesses and believes they will. The Fisher King sipped the water and, with renewed life God sees the entire person. He surging through him, looked at the cup. Realization came knows our faults but also knows quickly—the cup was the Holy Grail. It had been sitting be- what is good in us and loves us for it. side him all along, yet he had not been able to see it. If we see others with this same com- “How did you know this was the grail?” the amazed king passion, we will know God and we asked the fool. will see his image in others and in “I didn’t,” the fool replied. “I only knew that you were ourselves. thirsty.” —JASON HARDY The fool’s vision was true because it was compassionate. Chicago, Illinois
MORMON INDEX
Percentage of Utah Valley LDS youths who say their families rarely or never have family home evening: 37 Percentage of Utah LDS youths who say their mother is “easy to talk to”: 51 Percentage of Utah LDS youths who say their father is “easy to talk to”: 32 Total number of known LDS athletes to participate in the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney, Australia: 18 Number of those athletes who are not from the United States: 7 Number of medals won by LDS athletes in the 2000 summer games: 4 Number of those medals that were won by U.S. LDS athletes: 4 Percentage of Mormon women with two or fewer children who suffer from depression : 28.2 Percentage of Mormon women with three or more children who suffer from depression : 19.4 Percentage of Brigham Young University students who are female: 53 Percentage of Utah LDS youths who say their mother knows where the child is most afternoons after school: 74 Percentage of Utah LDS youths who say their father knows where the child is most afternoons after school: 39
1, 2, 3 Brent L. Top, Bruce A. Chadwick, and Janice Garrett, “Family, Religion, and Delinquency Among LDS Youth,” in Religion, Mental Health, and the Latter-day Saints (Religious Studies Center, BYU), 152-53; 4, 5, 6, 7 Ensign, Nov. 2000, 109-112; 8, 9 David C. Spendlove, Dee W. West, and William M. Stanish, “Risk Factors and the Prevalence of Depression in Mormon Women,” in Religion, Mental Health, and the Latter-day Saints (Religious Studies Center, BYU), 40; 10 The Best College for You 2001(Time/Princeton Review), 253; 11,12 Brent L. Top, Bruce A. Chadwick, and Janice Garrett, “Family, Religion, and Delinquency Among LDS Youth,” in Religion, Mental Health, and the Latter-day Saints (Religious Studies Center, BYU), 154
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TO BRIAN, LYING DYING
Oh come on, Brian. Snap out of it! We wait . . . But not even that distilled You’re lying, lying dying there essence of carrot breaks the motion, your breast rising and falling black bristles beard your face in perfect measured rhythm growing in spite of the tubes Your heart in rapid counterpoint as does your hair, that astonishing full to that slow rise and fall head of thick waving black. sends out good warm blood Your lips, sternly playful, till even your fingertips slightly move—your lips move! feel like fever. Trying to say, saying . . . what? No vital show, though, in your eyes “Keep me here?” “Let my body go?” or hands nor in the puffy cheeks But now your lips are stony still. nor in the web of tubes that bind you We’ll let your body go, all right, to your bed (the big one going into your nose, release you to some airy eminence I guess, is the one they breathe you through, pushing that lying breath into your lungs.) but neither you nor we will ever snap the rawhide bonds you caught and hold But snap out of it! Here comes Krista us with. They’ll loosen some then dry with a full measure of your favorite and shrink to draw us tight fresh-made carrot juice. She’s pouring it and hold us circled in your love. through that tiny tube, straight to your gut. You’ll have to jump —MARDEN J. CLARK up now, seize life by the throat, breathe, breathe your own breath down your own tube.
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SUNSTONE MORMON CULTURAL STUDIES The field of Cultural Studies calls attention to how people experience the world, how their identities are shaped, and how they use language and tools of representation to order and make sense of their lives. So, culturally, what does it mean to be Mormon?
TOWARD A NEW MORMON CULTURAL STUDIES: OR TEN BOOKS I WISH SOMEONE (ELSE) WOULD WRITE
By Stacy Burton
AST SUMMER, I SPENT SEVERAL DAYS IN PARIS. the experience and translate it into daily life. But the For some strange reason, as I was walking along, sa- living encounter with the Spirit is also an occasion for L voring the city, and enjoying being far from home and new appropriation of meaning by which the given cul- work, the following question crossed my mind: Why would ture of interpretation is itself renewed and reshaped. someone French choose to be Mormon? This random thought Tradition, to remain alive, must be open to this continual led to others, and eventually to this paper, for no scholarship reshaping of interpretive culture by new spiritual experi- in Mormon studies yet exists to answer that kind of question ence.1 fully. After much research on the historical particulars—on the The big “culture question,” then, is this: What does it mean factual details of specific events and the evolution of specific to be Mormon? Obviously, the answer will be different things doctrines and rituals—what comes next? Whither Mormon to different people, despite official pronouncements that sug- studies? After forty years of attention to histories and doc- gest otherwise. The wide variation in popular and critical re- trines, surely, and crucially, it is time for scholarly critical sponses to recent representations of Mormon experience such analysis to turn its gaze on Mormon cultures. as the film God’s Army and the anthology Leaving the Fold2 Theologian Rosemary Radford Ruether has argued that the makes this much very clear. “Cultural studies” calls attention vitality of religious traditions lies not in their histories or doc- to interpretive cultures—to how people experience the world, trines but in the lived experiences of their adherents. What a how their identities are shaped, and how they use language religion means comes down to how it acquires, possesses, and and tools of representation to order and make sense of their maintains meaning for individual people, how it shapes and lives. gives voice to their experiences and thinking: I suspect that, in some ways, we have a clearer conception Historical institutions create the occasion for the ex- of what it meant to be Mormon in the nineteenth century than perience of the Spirit. But they cannot cause the pres- in the century just past. As scholars—notably historian ence of the Spirit, which always breaks in from a direct Thomas G. Alexander and sociologist Armand L. Mauss— encounter of living persons and the divine. Historic in- have observed, nineteenth-century Mormonism was marked stitutions also transmit a culture of interpretation around by its separatist tendencies and its millennial ambitions, while such spiritual encounters, but this culture of interpreta- its twentieth-century descendant reinvented itself as quintes- tion cannot be closed and finalized. It is, at best, an open sentially American and middle-class (with the requisite upper- system of symbolism that gives guidelines to interpret middle-class dreams).3 While that difference was not absolute, of course, it did make the distinction between being Mormon STACY BURTON is associate professor of English at and being American hazier than it once may have been. What the University of Nevada, Reno. A version of this ar- about the twenty-first century? The future will see a much ticle was presented at the 2000 Salt Lake Sunstone wider disparity among life experiences called “Mormon,” with Symposium (Tape #SL00-275). a growing percentage of Church adherents who live their en-
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tire lives—and families who live multiple generations—far name the gospel principle she finds most meaningful. The from what scholars have called the Mormon culture region.4 cousin responds, “obedience.” Terry responds, “free agency.”7 They will do so in postmodern societies in which people are 4. How does Mormonism as a religious culture evolve in varied generally wary of authority, hierarchical organizations, and ab- and new contexts? For instance, how does the late twentieth- solute truth claims. All this suggests that what it means to be century official construction of the middle-class (American) Mormon will be an increasingly complicated question in the family as a religious “unit” play out in people’s lives across the century to come. globe? Does it function in the same way in Chile as it does in Scotland, in the Ivory Coast as it does in China? And how does ITH A NOD to the work of Ruether and that of Mormon culture adapt as the tradition reaches a stage in which historian Colleen McDannell, whose ground- it has second-, third-, and fourth-generation members who are W breaking Material Christianity5 examines the role neither American nor middle-class? of material objects in contemporary American religion, here are four key questions for future projects in Mormon cultural EEPING THESE QUESTIONS in mind, here are ten studies: books I hope someone else will write. I’d love to read 1. What do Mormon religious rituals mean to their participants? K them. They are listed, à la Letterman, in reverse order. Why do they mean what they mean, and how do those mean- 10. Hoop Dreams: Basketball, Square Dance, and American ings effect changes in their lives? Do Mormonism. The church that histo- the intended meanings of these rituals rian Claudia Lauper Bushman de- differ from the experienced meanings? scribes in her essay about growing up If so, how and why? Some rituals are “. . . INSTITUTIONS CREATE THE Mormon in San Francisco in the performed daily. For example, how 1940s and 1950s was filled with or- OCCASION FOR THE EXPERIENCE OF does attention to what one eats or ganized social activities for adoles- drinks affect one’s sense of personal re- THE SPIRIT. BUT THEY CANNOT CAUSE cents and young adults: drama and ligiosity or group identity? Other rit- dance performances, elocution con- uals are once-in-a-lifetime events. THE PRESENCE OF THE SPIRIT, WHICH tests, and sports competitions.8 What does the ritual of baptism mean Church affiliation from this period to an eight-year-old child? What does ALWAYS BREAKS IN FROM A DIRECT into the 1970s involved the Gold and it mean to an adult looking back on it Green Ball, well-organized basketball ENCOUNTER OF LIVING PERSONS AND thirty years later? How do such mean- leagues, annual roadshows, and fre- ings change over time? THE DIVINE.” quent Saturday night dances. This 2. How do Mormon adherents con- church and many such activities have struct different, subjective versions of the —ROSEMARY RADFORD RUETHER largely disappeared, but vestiges re- faith in which all profess to believe? On main, such as the basketball courts ideological grounds, many Mormons attached to nearly all Mormon understandably reject the notion that chapels. The larger questions here religion is like a cafeteria, where one may choose certain items deal with socialization and sport in religious practice. and not others. Practically speaking, however, this simply is 9. I’m OK, You’re Not: Mormon Xenophobia. At seventeen, I how religion works: some aspects of a religion appeal to, went to Europe with a choir of high-school students, about a touch, and offer meaning to a person at a particular time in quarter of whom were Mormon. Our travels began in Rome, his/her life, and others do not—perhaps not then, perhaps not where one of the first sites we visited was St. Peter’s. A friend ever. Some love genealogy, some love Scouting, and some love and I walked through the Baroque basilica in reverential awe. Jesus. Soon we heard a strange, unsettling sound: another choir 3. How do different versions of Mormonism co-exist in families, member was humming the Mormon hymn “Come, Come Ye congregations, and the Church as a whole? Mormons often dis- Saints.” We asked him what possible reason he had for doing miss interpretations of their religious culture that they do not that. His response? Being in the heart of Roman Catholicism share, saying, “Well, that’s not the gospel,” yet the very view unnerved him. The larger questions here deal with the wide- they dismiss may be the heart of the gospel for others. As his- spread Mormon discomfort with anyone or anything not of the torian D. Michael Quinn has detailed at length, such questions faith, manifest, for instance, in the automatic practice of cate- about what is or ought to be central to Mormonism have at gorizing everyone as either “member” or “nonmember.”9 times been the source of great conflict among members of the 8. Girl Groups and Boys Clubs. A massive divide along Church hierarchy.6 Writer Terry Tempest Williams uses just gender lines marks contemporary Mormon culture, official this kind of contradiction to frame her recent work, Leap, and unofficial: from age twelve until death, girls and boys, which is an extended meditation on faith, artistic creativity, women and men, receive their chief religious education in seg- identities, and institutions. She recounts how a great-uncle regated classes. From Mormon history, the nineteenth-century asked two ten-year-old girls, Terry and her cousin, each to origins of this bifurcation are clear, yet even cursory reflection
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suggests that there is something rather odd in its persistence in tasks (such as rote recitation of Bible verses), mastery of do- a contemporary society in which most professions, schools, mestic skills (including crochet), and regular attendance at workplaces, and social organizations are no longer limited to Primary. (I recall wanting every last rhinestone so badly that I only one sex. While casual conversations among Church insisted upon attending Primary during our first trip to members about shortening the three-hour meeting block usu- Manhattan. I also recall my sister’s dismay when her class ally focus on eliminating Sunday School, few Mormons under learned they would be part of the new Merrie Miss program, sixty seem truly fond of Relief Society and quorum meetings. leaving their just-started bandalos forever incomplete.) How Yet this homosocial divide persists. Why has it lasted so long does material culture—and, in this instance, its deliberate in Mormonism, and what are its effects? linking of spirituality and domesticity—serve to shape the re- 7. Pioneer Envy: Or, the Cult of the Pioneers. Mormons have ligious identities of girls on the brink of adolescence? long revered early adherents to the faith, particularly the pio- 4. Gendering Mormons: Replaying the 1950s, Replaying the neers who crossed the plains to Utah. But what began as rever- 1930s, Replaying the Nineteenth Century. Imagine, as a Dialogue ence gradually became mythologizing and then sacralizing. satire did in 1981, a Mormon congregation in which all duties While I respect my own pioneer ancestors as much as does the were assigned on the basis of sex and all gendered references next sixth-generation descendant, I’m concerned that we have were reversed.11 Women would conduct Sunday services and so mythologized the past that the earliest Mormons often bear occupy the major administrative roles in the congregation only slight resemblance to human beings. It is time to ask why (with men overseeing the men’s auxiliary and the children’s and in what ways Church members have come to worship the program). Men would be invited to give sermons on family pioneers, and how long this will continue. To what ends— topics, women on theology; adolescent girls would serve the some of them exclusionary—are these powerful pioneer nar- sacrament to the congregation after praying to God the ratives used? What do the myths we tell about ourselves reveal Mother, and so forth. Even a cursory re-imagining along these about Mormon culture? lines points out how thoroughly Mormonism relies upon and 6. Contemplating Our (Modestly Covered and Definitely emphasizes differentiation on the basis of sex and gender. Unpierced) Navels. Mormons are often surprisingly self-ab- Recent history, moreover, suggests that this divide is growing sorbed; as a culture, Mormons may be more preoccupied with rather than narrowing. As women’s voices have achieved others’ perceptions of them than any other group of people I parity—or at least much greater value—in workplaces, com- know. Websites are now devoted to such topics as media cov- munities, and families, the narrow lines that circumscribe erage of the Church, biographies of well-known adherents to them in Church culture are cast in increasingly sharp relief. the faith, and rumors about celebrities who might be converts. How, one must ask, do contemporary girls negotiate One must ask why Mormons, in the manner of the neurotic or at least deeply insecure, care so much about their public image. This weakness of the cul- ture and sign of its immaturity may too easily extend to Mormon critical thinking.
(The five books above I would thoroughly enjoy. Now, in a slightly more serious vein, the following are five that truly must be written.)
5. Mormon Material Culture: My Life, My Kitsch. How do Mormons use material objects—including jewelry and clothing—to complement their spiri- tual practices? What kinds of religious meaning do Church members attribute to material objects, and why? McDannell and Jana Riess—in her recent essay dealing with kitsch from CTR rings to mas- culinity-themed T-shirts to inspirational posters— have taken the crucial first steps here, but certainly much remains to be done.10 From the 1940s until about 1970, for instance, Mormon boys and girls participating in the Primary program had bandalos (similar in concept to Scouting merit badge sashes). These were adorned with plastic medallions and rhinestones signifying the completion of religious PAT BAGLEY
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Mormonism? How do official constructions of masculinity— quite enough material for this book, there soon will be. The including but not limited to endorsement of conventional 1990s saw a boom in autobiographical writing in the United gender roles—affect contemporary Mormon boys?12 What States and other parts of the world, with hints of its beginning kinds of adults, and adult Mormons, do they become? in Mormon culture as well. What I’m calling the “new 3. Identity and Mormon Culture. It is perhaps inevitable that Mormon autobiography” is not the dutiful life story familiar a church led primarily by middle- or upper-middle-class men from Church lessons and family histories. It is a new species: from the western United States would suffer myopia regarding the frank, fresh memoir in which the writer considers the ways the depth of ethnic and national identities and allegiances. Mormon culture is one of many threads shaping modern Numerous examples could suffice to illustrate here. As Mauss, Mormon lives, not their defining or sole framework. Such Jan Shipps, and others have shown, in many ways, twentieth- memoirs recount in honest, immediate detail the experience of century Mormonism conceived of itself as, and actually be- being Mormon in specific times and places.15 Notable exam- came, quintessentially suburban and American. How has this ples include Phyllis Barber’s How I Got Cultured, a Nevada self-fashioning defined individual and collective Mormon coming-of-age memoir; Terry Tempest Williams’ much-dis- identities, both in the United States and around the world? cussed Refuge and recent Leap; and Mikal Gilmore’s haunting How do Mormons in Australia, Shot in the Heart.16 These texts are Russia, or Brazil work out a sense of powerful because they tell stories of identity that embraces both their reli- individual lives and their varied inter- gious tradition and their ethnic and ONE MUST ASK WHY MORMONS, IN sections with Mormonism, which national traditions? Very little has enter in through family, faith, folklore, been written on these topics: mission THE MANNER OF THE NEUROTIC OR AT prohibitions, answers, and questions. histories and occasional articles, but The stories are narrated reflectively not much else.13 Much work in cul- LEAST DEEPLY INSECURE, CARE SO and critically: they take neither the tural studies must be done here. subject’s Mormonism nor the religion’s MUCH ABOUT THEIR PUBLIC IMAGE. While half the current Church mem- self-fashioning as an unquestioned bership resides outside North THIS WEAKNESS OF THE CULTURE AND given. Individual readers may not rec- America, almost nothing scholarly has ognize religious strains that appear in yet been written about Mormon cul- SIGN OF ITS IMMATURITY MAY TOO other Mormons’ autobiographical ture in countries other than the writing. I know I often do not (the United States. EASILY EXTEND TO MORMON CRITICAL rural religious folklore of Gilmore’s 2. Mormons and the Conservative mother, for instance, is familiar only THINKING. Turn in American Culture. When I was through literature). But this gap, this a child in Oregon, the church geo- difference, makes these narratives all graphically closest to the Mormon the more powerful. These reflections Church was the St. Peter’s Episcopal Church across the street. demonstrate the always-already-present diversity of ways in It is fascinating and not a little strange to know that in my life- which Mormons live and experience their religious tradition. time, Mormons have moved philosophically closer not to Episcopalians, but to Christian fundamentalists. As Mauss HESE ARE THE questions I anticipate will be foremost demonstrates in The Angel and the Beehive, this ground shift has in Mormon cultural studies in the coming decade and been substantial and has affected Mormonism in every way— T the books I very much hope to see as a result. Perhaps, socially, theologically, institutionally. Citing recent studies, he then, someday, a reflective memoir by a writer both French points out that by the 1990s, “in almost all indicators of fun- and Mormon—say one in which Annie Ernaux meets Terry damentalism the Mormons were consistently closer to the Tempest Williams—will answer the question with which I Southern Baptists than to any other denomination.”14 (The began: why would someone French choose to be Mormon? Church now shares with the Southern Baptists, for example, the dubious distinction of placing great official emphasis on To comment on this article, or to read comments by others, visit our anachronistic views on women and the ministry.) How did this website:
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University of Illinois Press, 1994). Elouise Bell was the author, and it can now also be found in her, Only When I 4. On the effects of this postwar movement on Mormon identity, see Jan Laugh, (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 1990), 11. Shipps, Sojourner in the Promised Land: Forty Years among the Mormons (Urbana: 12. Riess’ analysis rightly emphasizes the ways in which Church-produced University of Illinois Press, 2000), particularly the essay “The Scattering of the and commercial Mormon kitsch further “the inculcation of gender values.” Riess, Gathering and the Gathering of the Scattered: The Mid-Twentieth-Century 39. Mormon Diaspora.” 13. The chief exception here, although now quite dated, is Mormonism: A 5. Colleen McDannell, Material Christianity: Religion and Popular Culture in Faith for All Cultures, ed. F. LaMond Tullis (Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University America (New Haven: Yale University Press, 1995). Press, 1978). 6. See particularly Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power (Salt Lake City: 14. Mauss, 180. Signature Books/Smith Research Associates, 1997). 15. A significant literary predecessor of this kind of memoir is the Mormon 7. Terry Tempest Williams, Leap (New York: Pantheon, 2000), p. 8; cf. personal essay, a genre actively fostered by Dialogue, Exponent II, and SUNSTONE 242–243. since their inception in the 1960s and 1970s. 8. “Growing Up Mormon in the Outland,” presented at the Sunstone 16. Phyllis Barber, How I Got Cultured: A Nevada Memoir (Athens: University Symposium, Salt Lake City, 4 August 2000, (tape #SL291). of Georgia Press, 1992), which won the Associated Writing Programs Award for 9. On the evolution of this practice, see Shipps, “From Gentile to Non- Creative Nonfiction; Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge: An Unnatural History of Mormon: Mormon Perceptions of the Other,” in Sojourner in the Promised Land. Family and Place (New York: Pantheon, 1991), frequently read in literature and 10. Jana Riess, “Stripling Warriors: The Cultural Engagements of women’s studies courses at American universities; and Mikal Gilmore, Shot in the Contemporary Mormon Kitsch,” SUNSTONE 22:2 (June 1999): 36–47. Heart (New York: Doubleday, 1994), which won the National Book Critics Circle 11. Anonymous, “The Meeting,” Dialogue 14.4 (winter 1981), 178–182. Award and the Los Angeles Times Book Prize.
AT THE MAGDALENA MISSION Father Kino’s bones are splayed, full skeleton, in a windowed mausoleum. Excavated centuries after he died, small body compacted by travel, he lies atop the ground, sanctuary all around him. Some say he was buried with his horse. When we are ready to leave, a small boy asks, in Spanish, piece of soiled rag in hand, if he can wash our car. David says, No, gracias. But senor, I have nothing to eat. I’m sorry, David tells him. Nothing, he says, as we get in and close the doors.
—STAR COULBROOKE
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What makes our acts moral? Is any practice “just business”? Can Book of Mormon lessons speak to us in our high-tech world? In contexts as diverse as nuclear testing, corporate mergers, and Mormon family life, Gadianton powerfully reminds us that every decision is personal.
GADIANTON A PLAY IN TWO ACTS
By Eric Samuelsen
ERMA MACKELPRANGER—St. George housewife, ca. 1953. PROGRAM NOTES GADIANTON, KISHKUMEN, SEEZORAM, SEANTUM, and BETHESDA—Book of Mormon characters. CHARACTERS COOPER and SCOTT—Two executives, silent partners of Mahonri Ward. HIS PLAY REQUIRES SEVEN MALE AND FOUR THE STAKE PRESIDENT—President of Fred Whitmore’s stake. female actors. Each actor plays one major character and BIBI HALSTRUP—Karen Todd’s sworn enemy. T various minor characters. All the major characters ex- Various other ONTI employees, security guards, and reporters cept CYNTHIA are Mormons. Major Characters CAST
MCKAY TODD—An LDS bishop, early forties. ADIANTON was first presented by the Brigham Young KAREN TODD—His wife. University Department of Theatre and Film at the FRED WHITMORE—An exec. with ONTI, late thirties. Margetts Theatre, 29 January through 8 February CYNTHIA WHITMORE—His wife. G 1997. It was directed by Bob Nelson. The original cast was: MAHONRI WARD—Owner and CEO of ONTI, late fifties. BRENDA BURDETT—McKay Todd’s assistant, late twenties. MCKAY ...... Jason Tatom HELEN BRYSON—ONTI’s head of public relations, early thir- KAREN ...... Katie Holsinger ties. FRED ...... Ben Hoppe SAM SUMPTER—Bryson’s assistant, early thirties. CYNTHIA ...... Megan Sanborn CHAD FIRMAGE—Fred Whitmore’s administrative assistant, MAHONRI ...... Tim Slover early twenties. BRENDA ...... Colleen Baum JOHN W. C OGBURN—Former partner of Harry June, late for- SAM ...... Josh Brady ties. HELEN ...... Amy Barrus CON BRYSON—Helen’s husband. Employed at Empasse. CHAD ...... Ryan Rauzon JOHN ...... Danny Stiles Minor Characters CON ...... Jeremy Hoop WILSON ...... Rob Gardner HARRY JUNE—Owner of Empasse, ONTI’s main competitor. ERMA ...... Rachel Davenport WILSON HACKETT—Southern Utah sheep farmer, ca. 1948. NOTE ON SCRIPT ERIC SAMUELSEN is associate professor of theater and film at Brigham Young University. His plays have In the text below, an ellipsis ( . . . ) represents a pause in speech or a been performed in New York, Indiana, Idaho, collecting of thoughts, and a dash (—) indicates an interrupted line. California, and BYU. His play Accommodations was For example, a dash in the middle of a character’s line indicates that published in the June 1994 issue of SUNSTONE. This play was his the next speaking character begins speaking at that point, the two sixth BYU mainstage production. characters speaking simultaneously.
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every day, all covered with dust. Start every morning at five— ACT ONE and knock off at nine, ten, eleven. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: I saw Susan Hayward three times that summer. She rented a house in town, hired a babysitter for her two little ones. Just as—down to earth as anything. WILSON HACKETT: All day riding horseback, stirring up that dust, rolling around in it. Right over by where they set it off—. I did wonder. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Then a few years later, Susan Hayward died. Brain cancer. Kinda funny how it turned out, since so many here in town was going the same way. People talked about it, the St. George curse hittin’ her too—after she stayed here. WILSON HACKETT: Saw the movie as soon as it come to town. Them writers in Hollywood shoulda been more careful what— kinda stuff they wrote for the Duke. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: John Wayne, Susan Hayward, the director, most of the crew. They all got St. George disease. WOMAN (As she and BISHOP MCKAY TODD enter.): Bishop? WILSON HACKETT: Not a good enough movie to die for, that’s for damn sure. WOMAN: Bishop? Are you all right? WILSON HACKETT: . . . so like I said, I seen it maybe closer than (WILSON and ERMA exit.) most folks. That was our winter pasture anyhow, Frenchman BISHOP TODD: I’m fine. I’m sorry, I have a spinal—condition, some- Flats. Me, my daddy and my brothers would drive our sheep out times it gets . . . from Cedar. Prettiest piece a land God ever created, and ‘bout the WOMAN: Look, I can come back. This is just routine, temple recom- hardest to make a living off of. Daddy useta say, “Only thing—it’s mend renewal. good for is pretty.” BISHOP TODD: No, that’s all right. Let me just stand, walk around. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: And there she was, right in front of me. This won’t take—but a minute. Susan Hayward. All that red hair. Got her autograph that very WOMAN: It wouldn’t be a problem for me to— minute. “My friend Erma. . . .” Well, Erma Mackelpranger, actu- BISHOP TODD: I’m fine. ally, that’s me, but she didn’t rightly catch the last name, just (Cross fade to FRED WHITMORE.) kinda scribbled it off. My friend Erma Mcklprfflsk it says but FRED: I earned a B.S. in business from U.C. Santa Barbara—. that’s okay. You can read her name real good. Right here—on this WOMAN: Honest? In all my dealings? (With a chuckle.) That’s always napkin. a hard one for me. WILSON HACKETT: Just filled the sky. And then, a few weeks later, FRED: Then my MBA in finance from Ohio State. in come the movie people. WOMAN: You know how it gets. April fifteenth rolls around— ERMA MACKELPRANGER: We was pretty used to ’em. FRED: I was hired by Proctor and Gamble right out of graduate WILSON HACKETT: Shop owners in town would jack up their prices school and assigned to their corporate headquarters in ever time the movie crews come, but I couldn’t get too excited. Cincinnati. Livin’ off the land, you don’t develop much of a taste for movie- WOMAN (outraged.): Denied! I’ve had a temple recommend for goin’. Except for the Duke, of course. Saw—ever one of his. twenty-five years now, no one has ever denied— ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Said she was in town to make a movie— FRED: Since then, I’ve been with twelve different companies in the with John Wayne. last eighteen years: Microsoft. Then, Citicorp in Omaha, the WILSON HACKETT: I wondered why they was filmin’ so soon after Dallas office of HP, TNREnterprises in San Diego— the shot, all the dust just—startin’ to settle. WOMAN: Isn’t that just how it goes? They make some nobody ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Movie called The Conquerer, about bishop— Genghis Kahn. FRED: Now, ONTI. ONTI Enterprises. WILSON HACKETT: Saw the Duke once at Walgreen’s, had this WOMAN: . . . starts throwing his weight around. You listen to me, funny looking moustache all the way down his chin, a Fu McKay Todd, if you think you’re getting away with this, then Manchu kinda thing. John Wayne in a Chinese moustache? He you—. just—plain looked ridiculous. FRED: I’m usually indispensable within a month, leave when the job ERMA MACKELPRANGER: You’d see movie folk everwhere, the drug- starts to get too routine. Ride off into the sunset, leave the settlers store, the soda fountain. You’d hear ’em griping, onnaccounta to raise their crops alone. liquor bein’ hard to come by. But they found it somewheres,— BISHOP TODD: Next. and you’d see ’em drinking. (A MAN enters, as the WOMAN exits.) WILSON HACKETT: I gotta say, they worked hard. You’d see ’em MAN: Bishop, what’s all this about? They said you wanted to see me.
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FRED: I’ve been called a hitman, a gunslinger, a hired hatchet. That’s (As BISHOP TODD hustles across the stage, he is met by HELEN unfair. BRYSON, an attractive young woman in her early thirties, wearing a BISHOP TODD: Is there anything in your relationship with your business suit. Flashback.) family that you need to tell me about? HELEN: Hi, you must be Mr. Todd. FRED: If my recommendations occasionally include layoffs, that’s BISHOP TODD: McKay Todd, that’s right. hardly my fault. Every company has fat to trim. HELEN: Helen Bryson, nice to meet you. I see you worked for the BISHOP TODD: Well, for starters, your wife had a black eye in postal service? church a couple of weeks ago. Is there anything I should know BISHOP TODD: I used to. I had to—retire because of . . . about it? HELEN: Great, sounds perfect. Everyone in the company’s been FRED: But I’m also not a consultant. stuffing envelopes and licking stamps for weeks now. MAN: The lying bitch. . . . What did she tell you? BISHOP TODD: Everyone? BISHOP TODD: Nothing. She said she slipped in the shower.... HELEN: Everyone from programmers to custodial staff. Well, theo- MAN: Then that’s exactly what happened. retically. Mostly it’s a job people have been trying to duck. Drives FRED: Consultants consult. I work for the company, implement me nuts. change from the inside. I take good companies . . . maybe a bit BISHOP TODD: So I’ll report to you? . . . screwed up. . . . (He falters momentarily.) I establish systems, HELEN: Heavens no. I’m head of media relations. Well, I guess I am. procedures, policies. . . . (A pause. He falters, looks briefly disori- Mr. Ward just decided he needed a PR person one day, hired me. ented. GADIANTON, a man wearing biblical robes, enters, looks But I’ve done a little of everything; we’re kinda improvising. We quizzically at FRED.) Sometimes . . . sometimes I sort of . . . don’t were handling a volume of two hundred units a week, we come know what . . . pain right between my ears. (The man in the bib- out with OfficeMate 3.0, Dataworld gives it a four-star review, lical robes exits. FRED shakes it off, back to business.) Anyway, that’s and suddenly our sales are through the roof. it. I see what others can’t, cut where they’d rather not. And then I BISHOP TODD: Wow. get restless. HELEN: You said it. Now we get to process all those orders.
“Susan Hayward died. Brain cancer. . . . People talked about it, the St. George curse hittin’ her too. . . .”
MAN: (Livid.) A court! I just came here. . . . (Sputtering.) You can’t BISHOP TODD: So I report to—. just . . . just take some suspicion—! HELEN: I have no idea. If you have a problem, ask Mr. Ward, (MAHONRI WARD enters, holding a memo.) Mahonri Ward, he’s the main boss, his office is upstairs. WARD: (Reading.) “To Mahonri Ward, CEO ONTI.” BISHOP TODD: What kind of volume are you expecting? FRED: My latest project. ONTI. ONTI Officemate, one of the great HELEN: Who knows? We did twenty-five hundred last week, and it’s DOS spreadsheets. Ten years ago, just another start-up, today, a going to go way higher. market share in the high teens. Part of that mid-eighties software BISHOP TODD: Twenty-five . . . I’ll need some help. boom. Rank amateurs, of course, as business people. HELEN: Hire anyone you want, pay ’em whatever you think. Three- WARD: (Reading.) “I began with what I perceived—to be . . . and-a-halfs are over there, five-and-a-quarters over there, man- FRED: . . . to be the company’s—. uals, I’m not sure, there’s a box somewhere. WARD: . . . basic operating policies—. BISHOP TODD: Three-and-a-halfs—? FRED: . . . and procedures, both written and unwritten. HELEN: Good luck. And listen, you get the mail going smoothly (BISHOP TODD quickly takes off his suit coat and replaces it with around here, and you’ll be a hero. an ink-stained smock.) (BISHOP TODD takes off his smock, puts on his suit jacket. A FRED: The company’s unofficial management motto seems to be—. WOMAN enters his office.) WARD: Teach them correct principles, and let them govern them- FRED (as WARD resumes reading.): “While I certainly applaud the re- selves. laxed, informal corporate culture you’ve created—. FRED: I’ve heard that phrase from at least four people in supervisory WARD: . . . that very informality can, at times, get in the way of pro- roles. While the phrase itself is new to me, it does have a nice ductivity.” Tom Peters ring to it. But this motto implies a strong commit- FRED: I have a few suggestions. ment to training and education. I have seen little evidence of (We see in spots a series of businesspeople, all young, dressed with such a commitment. a kind of affluent informality.)
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FIRST WOMAN: No more baby showers? I’ll steal every idea you think of, and I never, ever say thanks. You MAN: Birthday parties? still with me? ANOTHER WOMAN: Monday night picnics? CHAD: Yes sir. MAN: We’re not sponsoring a little league team any more? FRED: Don’t call me sir. You want out? FIRST WOMAN: Or Girl Scouts? CHAD: No, si . . . No—. WARD: Oh sure we will. In the evenings, weekends. Just not on FRED: Only fair to warn you, that three of my last four assistants had company time. nervous breakdowns. One’s still in the hospital. Took sleeping MAN: Give up rotisserie baseball? pills, some kinda brain damage. FRED: Unless it has a direct bearing—. CHAD: I was raised on a ranch. I’ve never been afraid of hard work. WARD: . . . on the creation, manufacturing, and sale of computer FRED: Good. Because the other two recovered, and both made their software, we must ask you to save it for your after-work hours. first million before their thirtieth birthdays. FIRST WOMAN: After-work minutes, you mean. CHAD: You’ve got your man! (They all laugh. Enter CHAD FIRMAGE, a young man in his twen- FRED: Good. Finish your Coke. (CHAD hurriedly swallows it. The Man ties.) in biblical robes reenters, smiling enigmatically.) So, cowboy, CHAD: Mr. Whitmore? whaddya say? Let’s head ’em up and move ’em out! FRED: You must be my new assistant. CHAD: Yes—. CHAD: Yes sir. Chad Firmage. FRED: I said, let’s head ’em up and move ’em out! FRED: Chad, my pleasure. CHAD: Okay. BISHOP TODD: (Enter an older woman, SISTER GUINNESS.) Sister FRED: I thought you were a cowboy! Head ’em up and moooooove Guinness. em out! FRED: (They shake hands.) Sit down; take it easy. Call me Fred. CHAD: (Without much enthusiasm.) Eeehah! Drink? FRED: HEAD ’EM UP AND MOOOOOOOVE ’EM OUT! CHAD: I’m not—. CHAD: EEEEHAH! FRED: Coke, Sprite? FRED: That just got you a raise. CHAD: Uh, a Sprite’d be—. (The man with biblical robes exits. Lights up on WARD.) FRED: Bill Gates always keeps a fridge full of cold Diet Coke, I fig- WARD: Look, we’ve had a lot of fun, and we’ve had a lot of success. ure’d I’d follow suit. Ice? But we can’t treat this like a hobby any more. We’re in the big BISHOP TODD: Sister Guinness. As you may have guessed, we have a leagues now. calling in mind for you. (BISHOP TODD takes off his suit coat, puts on the smock.) SISTER GUINNESS: (Chuckling.) I’ve never turned down a calling in FRED: Having made these few broader suggestions, I will proceed my life; I don’t expect to start now. with a more in-depth examination of specific operations. (He FRED: So you’ve been married what? Three months? crosses to BISHOP TODD, with CHAD.) Hi. Fred Whitmore. CHAD: Just three months ago yesterday. BISHOP TODD: McKay Todd. SISTER GUINNESS: The nursery? FRED: My assistant, Chad Firmage. So, you’re head of the mailroom FRED: Been a good three months? room operation? CHAD: Yes sir. BISHOP TODD: That’s right. FRED: Good. Because three months from now, you’ll barely re- FRED: Been here two years? member her name. BISHOP TODD: Two years, eight—months . . . SISTER GUINNESS: Bishop Todd, I’m sixty-one years old! FRED: Helen Bryson says you’re a miracle worker. FRED: If I were to say to you that this job requires an eighty-hour BISHOP TODD: That’s nice of her. (Twists his back and winces.) work week, what would you say? ED: Are you okay? SISTER GUINNESS: My childrearing days are over! BISHOP TODD: I just have an intermittent spinal—problem. . . . (She exits in a huff. The BISHOP sighs, follows.) FRED: Gosh, that’s a shame. I’ve had some back problems myself, FRED: Basically, we’re talking fourteen-hour days, six days a week. know what you’re going through. Okay, here’s what I don’t get. Say seven A.M. to nine P.M. You have how many employees in this area? Sixty-five, seventy? CHAD: It sounds—like a pretty heavy . . . BISHOP TODD: Good heavens no. I supervise six workers. FRED: Well, what I think, eighty hours, that’s for wimps. Eighty FRED: Chad? hours strikes me as a minimum commitment. CHAD: (Shuffling through records.) Uh . . . company records say CHAD: Minimum commitment—. you’ve hired a total of . . . sixty-seven employees. FRED: Six months with me, Chad, and you’ll wish you never heard BISHOP TODD: But I don’t supervise them. the name Fred Whitmore. You’ll want to quit ten times a day. FRED: Explain that to me. You’ll fantasize killing me. BISHOP TODD: When I was hired, my job was to fill customers’ or- CHAD: I really don’t think—. ders, not just supervise the mail operation. I hired people to FRED: I’ll give you fifty jobs at once, and expect them all yesterday. package, to copy data onto disks, to stuff envelopes; most of Anything you do that’s just slightly not the way I want it, and them were moved to manufacturing. And, I hired in other areas you’ll wish you were never born. I’ll expect you to sweat blood, of the company; customer support—.
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FRED: (Impatiently.) Uh-huh. And now you’re down to six? FRED: If you had to, you could work all that out, couldn’t you? BISHOP TODD: Just the mailroom, here. BISHOP TODD: Well, I—. FRED: Chad? FRED: For an extra five grand a year? CHAD: These sixty-seven people. How did you go about hiring BISHOP TODD: Five grand? them? FRED: We’d still come out ahead. You ever finish an entire morning’s BISHOP TODD: Well, I just—. rush before the incoming? CHAD: Our records show no evidence of compliance with Equal BISHOP TODD: Generally we. . . . Is this an order? Opportunity guidelines, no apps on file—. FRED: What? BISHOP TODD: I wasn’t told I had to. I just—. BISHOP TODD: Are you telling me I’m supposed to come in earlier? FRED: Uh-huh? From now on? As my boss? BISHOP TODD: . . . looked for people who needed work. I’m a FRED: No, I don’t do that. This is all just hypothetical. bishop, I see a lot of people who really need a break. BISHOP TODD: I see. FRED: Chad, a bishop. That’s a church thing? FRED: But you could, right? I can put that on my report? CHAD: Head of a local congregation. Bishop, you hired your ward BISHOP TODD: (Pause.) I suppose. If I had to.
“. . . It’s Mormon country, so I took the lessons and took the bath. I figure, to get along, go along.”
members? FRED: Good. BISHOP TODD: Am I in some kind of trouble? CHAD: Good. FRED: Don’t sweat it. We’re just trying to get our act together up- FRED: Good to talk to you, McKay is it? Or do I call you Bishop? stairs. BISHOP TODD: McKay is fine. BISHOP TODD: So I don’t . . . report to you? FRED: You’ll have to forgive me. I’m a new convert, still a little shaky FRED: You don’t know who you report to? on Mormon protocol. (To the audience.) In south Philly, all those BISHOP TODD: So far, it hasn’t really mattered. Italians, I went to mass every Sunday. In San Diego, I took up FRED: For now, go ahead and report to me. Or to Chad. Now, let me golf. Here, it’s Mormon country, so I took the lessons and took see if I’ve got this straight. The mail goes out when? the bath. I figure, to get along, go along. (To TODD.) Nice opera- BISHOP TODD: The truck’s usually here between two and two-thirty. tion you have here. FRED: So your big rush is in the mornings. And you sort and deliver BISHOP TODD: Thanks. (Wearily peels off smock, puts on suit jacket.) incoming in the afternoons? FRED: Chad? You got all that? BISHOP TODD: Yes. CHAD: Comes in earlier, reports to you, raise. Got it. FRED: Chad? FRED: Okay, next we look at programming. CHAD: One possibility might be to stagger hours to use your em- (Enter BRENDA BURDETT to BISHOP TODD’s office.) ployees more efficiently? BRENDA: Bishop Todd. FRED: I am a great believer in delegation. BISHOP TODD: Sister Burdett. Please sit down. CHAD: Say if four of them came in at, six or seven, worked until two BRENDA: Bishop, it’s. . . . (She breaks down briefly.) I’m sorry. I didn’t or three, the other two could work nine to five and handle the think I was going to do that. incoming in the afternoon? BISHOP TODD: Is it Brian? BISHOP TODD: I suppose—. BRENDA: It’s over, Bishop. It’s all over. CHAD: And you’re salaried, right? Not hourly? So you could super- FRED: (To CHAD.) Then user support afterwards. (To audience.) vise the morning rush, stay ‘til five, and it wouldn’t cost the com- Something else, too, a project of my own. The very fact I’m here pany any more money. says something. Big secrecy, mysterious holes in Mr. Ward’s FRED: Just hypothetically. schedule. Big secrets equal big money. And since I am here, BISHOP TODD: But I can’t. maybe some of it can trickle down my way.... (He shrugs, exits.) FRED: Oh? BRENDA: All that time, he lost all that weight, started working out, BISHOP TODD: My wife has to go to work early to be home when grew that little moustache, I thought it was for me. You know? the kids come home at three. So I have to get them off to school. Talking about spending more time with the kids, maybe quit I can’t get here—. smoking. I thought it was for me, for the family. All the time, it
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ARTIST’S NOTE
EITHER this image nor the cover nor the small pieces throughout the play are meant to illustrate N Gadianton. Illustrations very often tend to be static and fail to invite further interaction. I wanted to create images that could stand independent of the play and convey some of my feelings about it through metaphor and symbol, while relating them to major themes running through much of my work. All of my work, in some way or another, is about landscape: how we see ourselves through it and impose our values on it. The themes of the Book of Mormon repeat themselves in many of my drawings, espe- cially the notion of a promised land inhabited by chosen peoples who either prosper or suffer because of their activities on the land. I am especially intrigued by connections between seemingly unre- lated people and events that manifest themselves in broad cycles: ancient sea voyages, pyramid temples, a civilization struggling with changing political and economic values, revelations, a hill in New York, a people searching for refuge in the desert. As Eric’s play suggests, many of these events parallel in a very direct way our own history and struggles.
—MARK ENGLAND
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was someone else. Someone named M. M. McGinn. I lost my claw the bastard’s eyeballs out. (Takes a deep breath.) But I’m man to an initial. gonna be okay. BISHOP TODD: M.? WARD: A flow chart? BRENDA: That’s the name on the mailbox. Outside the mobile home FRED: Who reports to who. where I caught him. M. Mary Jane? Margaret? Martha? Megan? BISHOP TODD: And I promise, the Church will take action on this, BISHOP TODD: Brenda, an initial doesn’t seem that . . . conclusive to too. me. BRENDA: Well, that’s up to you. Won’t mean much to Brian either BRENDA: Oh, it’s plenty conclusive. Looked right in the window, way. But there is one more thing. caught ’em in the act. I could see part of her face, even. Black BISHOP TODD: Yes? hair. Except he was still wearing his cowboy boots, you know? BRENDA: Well, I mean, you had all those talks with us, and he Humpin’ a guy with cowboy boots, is that supposed to be some wasn’t working nights as much, and I started thinking things kind of turn-on? were getting better. I had some hope, you know, and it’s dan- BISHOP TODD: When was this? gerous, hope is. BRENDA: Last night. BISHOP TODD: So? BISHOP TODD: Oh, my. BRENDA: Well, on top of everything . . . I think I’m pregnant. BRENDA: Yeah, it was a great night, all right. (Pause.) BISHOP TODD: You say you looked in. Did you talk to him? Is every- FRED: You can see the result, just a total mess. thing—? BISHOP TODD: We’ll see if we can help there, too. BRENDA: I didn’t exactly talk to him. (He and BRENDA exit.) BISHOP TODD: I think you should, don’t you? WARD: We’ve never needed anything like a flow chart before. BRENDA: It’s not necessary, Bishop. He knows that I know, and he CHAD: We’ve basically identified a three-tiered structure. knows that it’s over. Next time we talk, it’ll be in court. WARD: Look, I don’t want to lose our flexibility, make things so rigid BISHOP TODD: How do you—? good ideas don’t get listened to. That’s the problem with these BRENDA: Went back to the house and got all his stuff. His clothes, top-down structures. his shoes, his guns, that two-point trophy buck he was so proud FRED: I understand. of, everything. Took two trips, but I loaded it all in the bed of his WARD: Our approach, if we have a problem, we send out for lunch pickup, there in her driveway. Then . . . well, Bishop, I have a and sit around a table ’til we’ve worked things out. little confession to make. FRED: That kind of chaos can yield creative dividends. BISHOP TODD: A confession? WARD: That’s what we’ve found. BRENDA: I was about to leave, then I saw the hose goin’ out from the FRED: Right, back when you had thirty-five employees. Right now trailer. She has this little pathetic patch of lawn out in front she you have over six thousand. was watering. So she was used to the sound of water runnin’. So WARD: Well, okay. That’s what you’re supposed to do for us, help us I just stuck that hose in the back of the truck with all his things. get better organized. Oh, he knows all right. FRED: Chad? BISHOP TODD: Oh, my. CHAD: We’ve roughed out a little tighter organization. BRENDA: Bishop, I know I’m supposed to forgive him. I know I’m WARD: (Looking at a chart.) Very impressive. supposed to ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness for ruining all FRED: We could implement the whole thing in a matter of months. his stuff and all. And I will. When I’m good and ready. WARD: You said something about layoffs—. BISHOP TODD: I understand. In the meantime— FRED: Mr. Ward, layoffs is not a word we use. That’s for outsiders, BRENDA: Bishop, you know me. I’m not a whiner, and I’m not a people who don’t know a business cycle from a Schwinn. taker. But I got three kids, a brand-new mortgage, and I just lost Rightsizing, that’s the term for it. 80 percent of my family income. WARD: Rightsizing. BISHOP TODD: The Church will help. FRED: And that’s not a recommendation I’m necessarily making. I (FRED and CHAD enter, with MAHONRI WARD.) don’t know your plans: expansion, acquisition, a merger. With FRED: So that’s my report, Mr. Ward. your liquidity—. BISHOP TODD: We’ll help with the mortgage, if you need us to. I’ll WARD: I understand. call Sister Marchant to assess your food needs. FRED: . . . your market share . . . you’re an attractive target. Lean BRENDA: I’m gonna get a better job; that’ll help. and mean, right? That’s how you survive. BISHOP TODD: We have an opening in my department at ONTI, ac- WARD: Yes. tually. FRED: All I’m saying, if rightsizing turns out to be necessary—. FRED: I tried to fudge together an organizational flow chart—. WARD: I’m not going to lay anyone off. BRENDA: Well, that would be great. ONTI, they pay good. And I’ll be FRED: I understand that. able to get child support when the divorce comes through, not WARD: I don’t believe in it. that I figure to collect it real often. FRED: It can often lead to feelings of hostility and bitterness, ab- BISHOP TODD: Good. I know how traumatic this must be for you— solutely. BRENDA: No, Bishop. I’m okay. (Sudden emotion.) I would like to WARD: We’re not that desperate, not yet, not by a long shot.
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FRED: Then I’ll just file this part of my report? I’m the only one— WARD: Pitch it, delete the program. We’re not laying people off, and HELEN: Frankly, Sam—. that’s final. SUMPTER: . . . who bothers to look, who bothers to read and think, CHAD: So our restructuring proposal—? and instead of just just just just nailing my ninety-five theses to WARD: I agree we need a tighter organization. Minus layoffs. the door—. FRED: You’re the boss. (A buzzing sound.) My phone. HELEN: (Wearily.) You nail anything to our door and I’ll have you ar- CHAD: (Takes cellular phone from pocket.) I got it. Fred Whitmore’s of- rested. fice. SUMPTER: I chicken out. Bwaack bwaack bwaack. I chicken. Right? WARD: Go ahead and take it. Bwaaack bwaaaack. Every time. For a paycheck. A lousy few CHAD: Yeah, he’s here. Fred, I think it’s your stake president. hundred shekels a week. FRED: (Taking phone.) My what? Fred Whitmore. Uh-huh. Yeah. HELEN: Sam, the point is, if you want to continue getting that pay- Yeah? check . . . you with me? WARD: Problems? SUMPTER: I know I know I let you down I know—. FRED: (Shakes his head.) Okay, I guess. Say about seven? Yeah. HELEN: Look, I won’t fire you, Sam. (Hangs up.) Weird. SUMPTER: You should. WARD: Anything important? HELEN: Probably I should. But I won’t. Okay? FRED: I don’t know. Chad? SUMPTER: Okay. CHAD: Yes? HELEN: Just . . . it’s not enough to just . . . just overcome your moral FRED: What’s a stake president? scruples enough to walk in the door. You know? (He, CHAD and WARD exit. SAM SUMPTER, unkempt, with his SUMPTER: I know. head on his desk. Enter HELEN.) HELEN: There’s a little matter of a press release I needed yesterday. SUMPTER: Hello, Helen. SUMPTER: Yes . . . yes, I’ll get right . . . right on it. HELEN: Oh, Sam. (She sighs, and sits next to him.) What is it this HELEN: All right. (Starts to go, then turns back.) We have this conver- time? Let’s see. Trilateral Commission? Area 51? The Kennedy as- sation nearly every week, you know. sassin—. SUMPTER: I know. I’m sorry, it’s just that—. SUMPTER: I can’t do it. Can’t can’t can’t can’t, not any longer. HELEN: Sam, why not give it up? I mean, it’s not like we make . . . HELEN: Okay, it’s work related. What can’t you do? missiles, or cigarettes or, I don’t know, crack cocaine. . . . Are we SUMPTER: The job, this place, this job—. really so awful? HELEN: Specifically, Sam. SUMPTER: “All is well in Zion, yea—Zion prospereth.” SUMPTER: Specifically? (Nods.) All right. All right, all right, you HELEN: Give me a—. asked for it. We work at a computer company, we make com- SUMPTER: “ALL IS WELL—. puter software, our product is used in offices across the country. HELEN: I need that press release by this afternoon. HELEN: So far I’m with you. (BISHOP TODD, wearing his work jacket. SUMPTER: Mostly women, right? Mostly Enter BRENDA.) secretaries, women, single parents, BRENDA: Bishop? I got it! blue-collar wives. Typing at a PC. For BISHOP TODD: Brenda. I’m so delighted. hours. Every day. The same repeated BRENDA: Bishop, I can’t thank you enough for movements, the same muscles worked, this. hour after hour. You see them, don’t BISHOP TODD: Did you ask about the insur- you? You see them? Elastic bandages on ance? their wrists. BRENDA: They say I’m covered. Twelve-hun- HELEN: Sam—. dred-dollar deductible, and I’ll get that from SUMPTER: Carpal tunnel. Carpal tunnel Brian, the judge said. syndrome, bandages on their wrists. BISHOP TODD: This is great news. Any office in the. . . . And they keep BRENDA: So, what do I do? working, ruining their hands and their (Enter HARRY JUNE, affable, friendly, ruth- arms and and and their health and and less, owner of Empasse.) and—. BISHOP TODD: Excuse me. (Crosses to him.) Can HELEN: Sam, this is Helen. I help you? SUMPTER: And I’m party to it. Me. To an JUNE: Actually, I’m waiting for someone. (They an an an increase in the sum total of shake hands.) Harry June. Pleasure to meet human misery. I’m party to it. you. HELEN: Sam, you’ve got to stay away from BISHOP TODD: (A bit in awe.) Mr. June. I mean, those web sites—. Brother . . . President . . . uh, McKay Todd. SUMPTER: Carpal tunnel and and and and It’s my pleasure. ozone depletion, sometimes I feel like JUNE: McKay Todd. Do I know you from some-
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where? relevant. BISHOP TODD: I don’t . . . think—. COOPER: Wall Street doesn’t like us. JUNE: You gave a talk at regional conference, didn’t you? Last SCOTT: That’s what it comes down to. summer? WARD: Remember when we were at thirty? BISHOP TODD: (Beaming.) As a matter of fact . . . you remember COOPER: Not that long ago, either. my—. WARD: Okay, at seventeen, where does that leave us? JUNE: I always remember a good talk. Let’s see, you talked about . . . SCOTT: One-and-three quarters for you, close to three divided be- BISHOP TODD: Hope. tween Coop and me. JUNE: Hope, right. Well, it’s good to see you again. WARD: Not so bad, when you think of where we started. BISHOP TODD: Likewise. COOPER: It’s not enough. JUNE: (Enter WARD.) Nice operation you have down here. WARD: Coop, Randy. I want out. I can’t put it any simpler than that. BISHOP TODD: Thanks. COOPER: It’s what we’ve been talking about. WARD: Harry. WARD: I’m not cut out for this. I’ve been doing some soul searching, BISHOP TODD: Mr. Ward. wondering how suddenly, I came to run this . . . monster of a WARD: The elevator’s down the hall. (He and JUNE start to exit to- company. That was never my dream. gether. He turns back to BISHOP TODD.) Your name is Todd, isn’t it? SCOTT: I know. We’ve talked—. BISHOP TODD: McKay Todd, yessir. WARD: I’m a guy with an itch for making things simpler. That’s all. I WARD: Well, just go on . . . with what you were doing. liked playing with software, I came up with a new application, BISHOP TODD: Yes sir. then when we needed financing, I took us public. One thing led (They exit.) to another, and—. BRENDA: Wow. The Mahonri Ward? SCOTT: And here we are. BISHOP TODD: And the Harry June. Both of them. WARD: Here we are. BRENDA: Two of the richest guys in the Church. COOPER: The fact is, Mahonri, I want this merger as badly as you BISHOP TODD: Probably a billion dollars, right here in our mail- do. room. SCOTT: Both of us do. BRENDA: Be great, wouldn’t it? WARD: I know. BISHOP TODD: Yep. COOPER: For you, this was a dream, a crusade even. For me, it was BRENDA: How often do they come down here? an investment. BISHOP TODD: Never. This is a first. SCOTT: Me too. And it’s time to cash in. BRENDA: I’m impressed. My first day, too. COOPER: But not at seventeen dollars a share. Not for stock I bought BISHOP TODD: Amazing. at fifteen-and-a-quarter, some of it. BRENDA: So why are those two guys sneakin’ around our mailroom? SCOTT: That one block, I bought at sixteen. BISHOP TODD: I have no idea. COOPER: That’s ridiculous. (Pause.) WARD: It’s still a great deal of money. BRENDA: Well. None of my business. What do I do? COOPER: If it’s worth nineteen, I want nineteen. If it’s worth twenty- BISHOP TODD: You start working. Address labels are there, work or- five, I want twenty-five. ders over there. SCOTT: It’s been as high as thirty. Wish I’d sold then. BRENDA: Great. And Bishop? COOPER: Me too. Figured I’d keep riding it up. BISHOP TODD: Yes, Sister Burdett. WARD: Realistically—. BRENDA: Thanks. COOPER: Realistically, there’s no reason we can’t get twenty-five. (Lights down. Up on JUNE and WARD in WARD’s office. Two other SCOTT: We want what’s ours. execs, SCOTT and COOPER, are with them.) COOPER: That’s just how business works. JUNE: Seventeen a share. WARD: I know you’ve been talking to Con Bryson—. SCOTT: (Depressed.) Seventeen. SCOTT: The logistics are in place. JUNE: Right now, that’s it. Fair market value. COOPER: We’ll stock split two for one. . . . WARD: (Pause.) Look Harry, we’ll have to think about it. SCOTT: . . . trade shares to make up the balance. JUNE: You do that. (Checks his watch.) Meantime, I have stake meet- COOPER: We have a three-week window, and we pick the day, based ings. (With genuine affection.) It’s great to see you again, Mahonri. on NASDAQ closing price. You’re a good man. SCOTT: Harry doesn’t set the price. The market will. WARD: So are you. WARD: But that puts the price out of our hands, doesn’t it? JUNE: Mr. Scott, Mr. Cooper. (Nods affably, exits. A longish pause.) SCOTT: Mahonri, weren’t you listening? Harry couldn’t have made it SCOTT: Seventeen. clearer. COOPER: It’s not like it’s news to us. JUNE: (Reappears in light.) Windows hurt you. SCOTT: It’s what we warned you, Mahonri. WARD: We’re recovering from Windows. Look at our books. WARD: I know, Randy. (Pacing.) We’re still profitable; that doesn’t JUNE: Your stock’s down to seventeen. (A pause. Then, baiting the matter. We have no debt at all, doesn’t matter. Market share, ir- hook.) Of course, if you could reduce costs substantially over the
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next few weeks—. WARD: I founded this company; I run this company! WARD: No. COOPER: That’s right. You do. And you’re the biggest shareholder. JUNE: You’re fat in engineering. And customer support, well— With thirty-eight percent of the stock. Mahonri, you’re outvoted. WARD: User support is our trademark. (Lights down as they exit. Lights come up on CHAD and FRED.) JUNE: Not cost-effective. FRED: Well, seven o’clock. I’ve got an appointment. WARD: Harry, people are afraid of computers. They like having a CHAD: (He starts to pick up.) Right. helpline—. FRED: You going somewhere? JUNE: Officemate wholesales at forty dollars per unit. Each customer CHAD: (A pause. Sits.) No.
“It’s not like we make . . . missiles, or cigarettes, or crack cocaine. . . . Are we really so awful?”
call costs you twelve—. FRED: There’s a programming report and Windows update. I’ll need WARD: It’s why we have customer loyalty—. those first thing tomorrow. JUNE: I’m telling you what Wall Street’s telling you. Unless you can CHAD: Okay. reduce costs substantially over the next four months, the selling FRED: Seven o’clock, Chad, is when I go home. price is seventeen dollars a share. (Lights out on him.) CHAD: Right. (FRED exits. CHAD picks up phone with a sigh.) Honey? WARD: Windows wasn’t our fault. Yeah. Gee, that sounds great. No. No, I’m still going to be an- SCOTT: It’s Bill Gates, Mahonri. other couple of hours. I dunno, maybe midnight. I know. I know. WARD: When you have to buy the operating system from Microsoft I know. (Pause.) Because I have to. and they’re your main competitor—. (Lights up on CYNTHIA WHITMORE. She is talking over a tape COOPER: The Justice Department—. recorder, looking over some photographs.) SCOTT: They did investigate—. CYNTHIA: Search for America, chapter seven. Continuing. Grocery WARD: But how they . . . I mean, no major . . . come on—. shopping. (With breathless enthusiasm.) A supermarket! Such a SCOTT: No major violations of antitrust. It’s Bill Gates. They’ll never carefully constructed maze, herding us all, like mice, towards our catch him. water bottles and seed trays. Today, a bonus; older women COOPER: It’s also irrelevant. We’ve all read Fred’s memo on layoffs. smiling at you, handing out free samples of foods on special. WARD: How did you get hold of that? Insert Photo Seven. (Turns over a photograph.) COOPER: Mahonri—. We’re all collectors of persons, searchers for faces and hands and im- WARD: I told him to throw that report away! pressions. This is St. George, Utah, white America, variations are COOPER: Calm down. subtler, but patience, patience, more refined pleasures are often SCOTT: It was my idea to hire him. Remember? their own reward. Insert Photo Eight. A tattooed man, wearing a WARD: An efficiency consultant, you said. Harley Davidson jacket and a stained T-shirt glowered, daring us COOPER: That’s right. Reporting to the four of us, as majority stock- all to comment, as he laid just five things on the conveyor: ciga- holders. rettes, chewing tobacco, beef jerky, beer, and a box of Lucky WARD: Reporting to me, as CEO! Charms. Insert Photo Nine. Two of the checkout ladies had ban- SCOTT: What, you think we’re not going to check with him? daged wrists: carpal tunnel, they said. Photo Ten. And there was COOPER: You think we’re not going to ask for his recommendations? an Indian woman, tall and fat and proud, and when she would SCOTT: It’s all laid out for us. approach, everyone would make such an exaggerated show of COOPER: Wall Street will fall right back in love. nonchalance, checking their wristwatches. Insert Photos Eleven WARD: Absolutely not. through Thirteen, sequence. The contempt on a checker’s face as COOPER: We can get twenty-five, minimum. a man paid with food stamps. Photo Fourteen. And I saw one WARD: Or we can sell now at seventeen. And that’s good enough for very young-looking woman, with unwashed hair shining in the me. (Pause.) fluorescence. Photo Fifteen. She had two small children with her. SCOTT: Not me. Photo Sixteen, closeup. One of them was crying, and you could COOPER: No way. see the streaks the tears made in the brown and gray of her WARD: I am CEO of this company, gentlemen. cheeks. (Enter FRED. She gestures for him to sit. He does, smiling.) COOPER: Yes—. And each of the free sample stations was like a point of the True
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Cross, and the mother was feeding them cookies and punch and STAKE PRESIDENT: A calling is . . . an opportunity. An opportunity smoked sausage, the Body and Blood of Christ. Then she left, her for service. children fed, without making a single purchase, and the baggers FRED: (Nodding.) Gotcha. smiled at her kindly as she went out the door. Photo Seventeen, STAKE PRESIDENT: Yes. An opportunity to serve your fellow man, actually make that before that last sentence, then Eighteen now. while also serving the Lord. And in the parking lot, a dispute over a parking space very FRED: Uh-huh. nearly led to a fistfight! Nineteen and Twenty. Shouting, threats, STAKE PRESIDENT: Precisely. As, for example, I’m doing. obscenities. . . . (Turns off the tape recorder.) Oh, it was marvelous, FRED: So you want me to take over your job? glorious! I’m going back again tomorrow. Hello, darling. STAKE PRESIDENT: I beg pardon? FRED: (Kisses her absently.) Hi, Cinny. Nice stuff. Kiss? FRED: This president stuff. You want me to take it on? CYNTHIA: I thought we’d do Chinese tonight. Take-out? (We see CYNTHIA: Fred! WARD enter, ring a doorbell.) STAKE PRESIDENT: No, no, I don’t have the authority—. FRED: Fine. FRED: Hey, organizational I can handle. That’s what I do at work, su- (JOHN WAYNE COGBURN answers his door. Alcoholic, nasty.) pervise over six thousand people. Get people working together, COGBURN: Yeah? that’s my kinda gig. (Stands to shake his hand.) You got your man. WARD: Brother Cogburn. My name is Mahonri Ward, and— CYNTHIA: Oh, Fred. Don’t you remember anything they told you? COGBURN: Get lost. (Slams the door closed. WARD stares at it a mo- FRED: Not much, frankly. ment, exits.) STAKE PRESIDENT: Brother Whitmore, you don’t understand. CYNTHIA: Did you give Mahonri your report? Believe me, I would love to have you take over my job. But that’s FRED: Wouldn’t take it. Had to slip it through the back door to not. . . . I have a different calling in mind. Coop. He’ll know what to do with it. Something else, too. FRED: I don’t know. I mean, I’m like everyone. Good at some things. CYNTHIA: Oh? Not good at others. FRED: I had a meeting with a stake president. STAKE PRESIDENT: Certainly. (The STAKE PRESIDENT enters. FRED turns, acts out the scene while FRED: What if you give me something I’m no good at? (Turns to CYNTHIA watches.) CYNTHIA.) And so, of course, that's exactly what he did. STAKE PRESIDENT: Brother Whitmore? You’re probably wondering STAKE PRESIDENT: We want you to be stake drama specialist. why I called you in this evening. CYNTHIA: Drama? Did he say drama? FRED: As a matter of fact—. STAKE PRESIDENT: Specifically, we want you to direct the stake play. STAKE PRESIDENT: I’m here to extend you a calling. (The STAKE PRESIDENT exits.) FRED: (Turns to CYNTHIA.) You remember anything about callings? CYNTHIA: You’re kidding. CYNTHIA: They told us about it. It’s a lay ministry, so everyone has a FRED: Wish I was. A play. Like that thing we saw that one time with job to do, but it’s like, hierarchical; they call you, you don’t get to all the cats? choose. CYNTHIA: I know what a play is, Fred. They have a theater? FRED: You remember all that stuff better than me. FRED: In the stake building, he said. Anyway, every other year or so STAKE PRESIDENT: You are an elder; isn’t that correct? they do a dramatic thing, and this year, I’m in charge. FRED: I honestly . . . I don’t rememb—. CYNTHIA: That’s just insane. CYNTHIA: You are. FRED: Tell me about it. FRED: I thought I was a priest. CYNTHIA: You’re a businessman; you don’t know anything about CYNTHIA: That was at first. Remember? It goes deacon, priest, elder, drama. bishop, something like that? FRED: Actually, I think it’ll be okay. It’s more organizational than FRED: I’m second to the top? anything. Every ward has a drama person called, and they get the CYNTHIA: I think. The guys in the circle, hands on your head? people to be in it, I just have to coordinate it all. FRED: Oh, yeah. CYNTHIA: Well, you can do that, I guess. STAKE PRESIDENT: You come very highly recommended for this FRED: That’s what I figured. present calling, and I’m very happy to extend it to you CYNTHIA: So what play are you doing? Do you get to choose? FRED: (Raising his hand, like a kid in school.) Uh, President? FRED: Kinda. They gave me three scripts, I’m supposed to read STAKE PRESIDENT: Yes, Brother Whitmore? them, let them know. They’re all real Mormon. FRED: Who are you? And what’s a calling? CYNTHIA: Figures. (Looking them over.) Man of Thunder: The Orrin CYNTHIA: You didn’t. Porter Rockwell Story. Who’s he? FRED: Well, I didn’t know. FRED: Mountain man, pioneer guy. It’s a musical. Whaddya think? CYNTHIA: You said, who are you? He’s the stake president. That’s CYNTHIA: I can see it now. All these guys in furs leaping around like the head of a diocese, like a bishop in most churches. singing. Next. No Greater Crown. That’s got to be some Eastery . . FRED: I found that out. . . (Opens script.) Nope. Joseph Smith. Check this one off. STAKE PRESIDENT: Look, maybe we should take this a little more FRED: Why? slowly. CYNTHIA: Cast of characters. Forty-one men, three women. That CYNTHIA: Thank heavens. leaves one.
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FRED: Gadianton! With an exclamation point, no less. HELEN: Oh, Sam’s always got an ax to grind. You know, some people CYNTHIA: I remember him. He was a bad guy in that book they had play solitaire, surf the net. Sam complains about the world. us read. (A cassette tape falls out of the script.) Looks like it’s a mu- CON: Why don’t you just can him? sical too. HELEN: Well, when he wants to be, he’s very very good. FRED: “An ancient American musical.” What do you think? CON: Oh, listen, listen, this is my favorite part. CYNTHIA: Nice mix of men’s and women’s roles. BISHOP TODD: What’re you watching? FRED: (Clowning.) We may have a winner—. KAREN: They’re making like jewelry cases out of wallpaper and CYNTHIA: Sounds dorky. these little boxes. FRED: Who cares? They all sound dorky. You know, Cinny, this BISHOP TODD: For homemaking? could be fun. KAREN: It’s something Bibi Halstrup doesn’t know how to do. CYNTHIA: If you think so. Maybe. FRED: Hey, I’ve run everything else in my life. Why not a stake mu- BISHOP TODD: This is about Sister Halstrup? Again? sical? (Opens the script. Lights down. Enter WARD. He knocks again KAREN: Just once, I want my ideas to be as good as her ideas. on COGBURN’s door.) BISHOP TODD: You don’t have to compete with Bibi Halstrup.
“You know she irons her sheets? . . . She’s the kind of person who never makes Jell-O with ice cubes.”
COGBURN: (Drunk.) Uh-huh. KAREN: Shut up, I do too. All right, you go under the lid, and glue it FRED: All right, act one, scene one. The prophet Nephi surveys his . . . there. This whole darn thing’s gonna end up stuck to my fin- people—. gers, I just know it. WARD: Brother Cogburn. My name is Mahonri Ward. I’ve been as- HELEN: You know anything about . . . well, what’s going on? signed as your home teacher. CON: Where? COGBURN: Tomorrow. HELEN: Harry June dropped by Mahonri’s office today. Cooper and WARD: Very well. I think I can clear some time in the evening. Scott were seen in the building, first time in eight months. Would seven be convenient? CON: No kidding. COGBURN: Tomorrow. HELEN: You know anything about any of this? (CON makes a gesture WARD: Very well. I’ll see you at seven. “my lips are sealed.”) I figured you would. You can’t tell me any- COGBURN: Tomorrow. (He shuts the door. Exit WARD. Enter HELEN thing? and CON BRYSON. He is listening to music.) CON: I can’t even tell you that I can’t tell you. Please don’t ask about HELEN: Hi, honey. this. CON: Shhh. HELEN: The SEC does not have a bug in our living room. (Enter BISHOP TODD and his wife KAREN, other side of the stage.) CON: Did I say anything about the SEC? BISHOP TODD: Hey. HELEN: We’re married, Con. We can’t even exchange a little pillow KAREN: Shhh, I’m watching this. talk? HELEN: What is it? CON: About our jobs? No. CON: Vaughan Williams. Fantasia on a theme by Thomas Tallis. Shh. HELEN: (Defeated.) All right. (They listen together.) CON: Listen to this. The pianissimo just crystal clear. BISHOP TODD: Any messages? BISHOP TODD: It looks good. KAREN: Your brother called. KAREN: You’re just saying that. She drives me crazy, McKay. Makes BISHOP TODD: Dave? me feel like such a slug. KAREN: He said call him back. Now quiet. BISHOP TODD: Why? (BISHOP TODD crosses to the kitchen, pours himself a glass of milk, KAREN: Hush. Okay, make a seam with the wallpaper, glue around goes back to the sofa, sits with KAREN.) the edges . . . got it. CON: Exquisite. I love those soaring violins. HELEN: Rumor is that we’ve got a big layoff coming. HELEN: It’s beautiful. CON: No kidding? CON: So how was life in the salt mines? HELEN: Cut it out, all right? I know you can’t say anything. HELEN: Not bad. Same old same old. CON: Given what’s happened to your stock, is it such a big surprise? CON: More problems with your pet lunatic? That’s why Mahonri hired Fred Whitmore.
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HELEN: I figured. He’s working that assistant of his to death. and her shopping lined up three weeks in advance. Knows ex- CON: That’s one of his trademarks. He’s the best, a real assassin. actly when she’s gonna want Jell-O, gets little shredded carrots in HELEN: Mahonri says he’s just a consultant. You know him? there, pineapple, marshmallows, I’m serving up this soupy glop CON: I know of him. We nearly hired him two years ago. and hoping the kids won’t notice. Hush, I’m trying to get this all HELEN: So the rumors are true. down. CON: What’s to worry? You’re head of your department. You’re no BISHOP TODD: I’ll call Dave. target for the likes of him. KAREN: Quietly. (Muttering.) Okay, let the glue dry and . . . the flap HELEN: Cold comfort, if friends are getting it right and left. comes up. They said thirty seconds, I held it at least forty-five, CON: Downsizing, riffing—. and the flap still—. HELEN: I heard another one today. Involuntary reduction of payroll. BISHOP TODD: Hi, Sally, it’s McKay. Is Dave. . . . Sally? Are you all CON: Yeah, whatever. It’s normal business practice. right? HELEN: I know, I know. KAREN: . . . I don’t believe it. Look at that, flapping like some kind CON: People who don’t know anything about market economics get of bird. all hot under the collar every time a company lays people off. BISHOP TODD: Sally . . . please, can you. . . . I know, I know, but I Ignore them. It’s just part of staying competitive. Just one more can’t understan—. necessary evil—. KAREN: Maybe if I use a little more glue. . . . HELEN: Like lawyers—. BISHOP TODD: Sally . . . please. I don’t know anything. . . . That’s CON: Right. Or accountants—. why I called. HELEN: OSHA. KAREN: Something wrong? CON: The SEC. BISHOP TODD: I don’t know, Sally seems pretty. . . . Hi, Dave, what HELEN: The EEOC. in the world is. . . . No, she CON: The NLRB. didn’t. . . . (long pause.) Oh no. HELEN: The EPA. KAREN: What is it? CON: Ralph Nader. BISHOP TODD: Dave, I don’t know. HELEN: Sam Sumpter. (They share a laugh.) . . . I see. The biopsy’s when? CON: Listen to this, will you? Exquisite. KAREN: Dave? KAREN: All right, I think I’ve got it now. BISHOP TODD: (Nodding.) The BISHOP TODD: Any mail? point is, you don’t know that. KAREN: On the piano. The doctors don’t even. . . . BISHOP TODD: Anything from the twins? That’s what they said, huh? KAREN: Kimball wrote. Says the Swiss winters are getting to him, Well, what about the blood needs a new overcoat. tes. . . Oh. Uh-huh. Look, BISHOP TODD: What about Spence? maybe Karen and I ought to . . . KAREN: You know the Guatemalan mail. Nothing for three weeks yeah, maybe next weekend. and then four all at once. (Finishes the lid.) Ta DA! Meanwhile, keep your spirits BISHOP TODD: It looks good. Better than anything Bibi Halstrup up, okay? It may not be. . . . I could ever dream of making. know . . . I know, but still. KAREN: McKay, you’re not taking this seriously. Okay? It may not be as bad. . . . BISHOP TODD: No, I guess I’m not. I know. I love you too. Give KAREN: You don’t have any idea what a woman like that does to Sally a hug. Yeah, what a mess. (Hangs up.) your psyche. You know she irons her sheets? KAREN: So what’s going on? BISHOP TODD: Karen, she’s just another sister in the ward. I don’t BISHOP TODD: They found a lump on his testicle. They’re having a see anything special about her. biopsy tomorrow. KAREN: PLUS she volunteers at the hospital, PLUS she takes night KAREN: Oh no. How’s Sally doing? Maybe I should call her? classes, PLUS she cans, not to mention genealogy, emergency BISHOP TODD: She’s got company, friends from the ward. I think we preparedness, makes her own clothes—. should drive up there next weekend. BISHOP TODD: You make your own clothes. KAREN: Of course. KAREN: You don’t have a clue, do you? You know what she is? She’s BISHOP TODD: That makes six. the kind of person who never makes Jell-O with ice cubes. KAREN: McKay—. BISHOP TODD: What? BISHOP TODD: Six in our family, if Dave goes too. Six. KAREN: You know. There’s a fast way and a slow way to make Jell-O. KAREN: McKay Todd, I’m not going to listen to this. You don’t use ice cubes the slow way, and it tastes better but it BISHOP TODD: You think it’s coincidence, Karen? takes like two days. Well, how’m I supposed to know I’m gonna KAREN: Coincidence, accident—bad luck. wanna eat something two days from now that Jell-O would be BISHOP TODD: (Overlapping.) It’s this town, it’s St. George, we were good with? So I always make it at the last second, and that takes all living here when it happened, and now—. ice cubes and ends up watery. Well, not her. She’s got her menus KAREN: (Furious.) Now you just shut your mouth! (He looks at her,
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startled.) You shut up and listen to me! Your family has had some ERMA MACKELPRANGER: My sister Edna was picking peas when it bad luck, some real health problems, and that’s too bad, and I’m happened. Was seventeen year old. Met Wayne Garrett couple sorry. But that’s all it is! Bad luck! You’re paranoid about this, you years later; got married spring of ’55. She got pregnant right overreact, that’s why you got fired at the post office, and I won’t away, but the baby never did develop, just formed a mass like a have it happen again! buncha grapes inside her. BISHOP TODD: The Postal Service—. WILSON HACKETT: Since it hit, what with everthing that happened KAREN: Shut up! It is not going to happen to you, it is not going to . . . never could hold down a job. I do handyman work here and affect you, I will not listen to any more about it. (Gently.) I love there, mend a fence or paint a stable. No family left anymore, so you, McKay. I can’t live without you. (Frightened again.) And all just try—to get by, day to day. this, it’s just a lot of nonsense, and I’m tired of it, tired of it! Do ERMA MACKELPRANGER: She died three years later of—cervical you hear me! cancer. BISHOP TODD: I’m sorry. WILSON HACKETT: Dirty Harry, they called it. KAREN: (Pause.) Next weekend is not good. We’ll drive up to Boise ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Biggest shot they ever tried. in a couple of weeks. WILSON HACKETT: Took the heart right out of me and mine, sure BISHOP TODD: All right. enough. (Slow blackout on them. Lights up on MAHONRI WARD, visiting COGBURN.)
“Gadianton! With an exclamation point, no less. . . . Looks like it’s a musical too.”
WARD: Brother Cogburn. I’ve been assigned as your home teacher. BLACKOUT COGBURN: Uh-huh. WARD: My name is Mahonri Ward. END ACT ONE COGBURN: No kidding. WARD: I thought perhaps for my first visit today, we could just get acquainted. Get to know each other a little. COGBURN: Oh, I think that’s a very good idea. Get acquainted. ACT TWO WARD: Yes. Good. COGBURN: Three hundred. At twenty-five a share. More like one (As lights come up, we see WILSON HACKETT and ERMA MACKEL- seventy-five at seventeen, but you’ll get twenty-five, have no fear. PRANGER.) WARD: Excuse me? WILSON HACKETT: We come from the winter range out by COGBURN: Stock split, trade, merger, your take in the neighborhood Frenchman Flat, me, my brother and my dad, when we seen it, of three. Right? the whole sky lit up and then the mushroom cloud, and—the WARD: (A long pause, utterly shocked.) How did you know that? gray haze up the valley. COGBURN: I know a lot of things, Mahonri Ward. I think our visits ERMA MACKELPRANGER: We tried to be careful, wash off our veg- are going to be very interesting. etables before we’d eat ’em. But the cow ate the grass, and we (Blackout. Lights up on BRENDA, holding herself, her hand bloody.) drank the milk from the cow—. BRENDA: Oh great. This is just great. No way to avoid it. (Enter WILSON HACKETT and ERMA MACKELPRANGER.) WILSON HACKETT: The ewes was miscarryin’. And the yearlin’s WILSON HACKETT: It was the shot they called Dirty Harry. started to die. And the wool, like you could practically pull it off ERMA MACKELPRANGER: The biggest of the bunch, they said. with your hands. WILSON HACKETT: You could just see the size of it. Lit up the ERMA MACKELPRANGER: My husband’s brother bought him a sky—. geeger counter. He sat it down here on our flagstones, and it was ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Gray ash everwhere. really jumpin’. WILSON HACKETT: Army personnel come up to our camp. They WILSON HACKETT: And then the lambs was bein’ born with two had masks on their faces, gloves on their hands, and they told us, heads, some with their hearts outside of their bodies, skin like you boys better high-tail it outta here—. This here’s a hot spot. parchment so you could see right inside to their organs, and
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sometimes just a big bloody mess of legs and feet and heads and KAREN: Neither is this. wool. BISHOP TODD: Look, the money’s better—. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: It ain’t just cancer, you know. Degen’rative KAREN: Not much better, not like they promised you. How hard did spinal problems. you fight ’em on that? WILSON HACKETT: Depression and craziness. Hyperthyroids. BISHOP TODD: (Pause.) Not very. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Mental retarded: in our ward we went KAREN: Just tail between your legs, whatever you say boss. from zero to seven Down’s syndromes in one Primary class. They BISHOP TODD: I suppose. all sat together in the front row; folks called ’em God’s row of an- KAREN: And now this. And it’s always me that makes the adjust- gels. ments. This is not fair. (She exits.) WILSON HACKETT: And some folks just plain felt like hell their BISHOP TODD: She took it pretty well. whole entire lives. BRENDA: (Reading between the lines.) Uh-huh. (She starts to get to BISHOP TODD: (At work, in the smock, with BRENDA, who is seven work.) In the meantime, they do pay us pretty good. months pregnant.) So that’s the situation. BISHOP TODD: They sure do. WILSON HACKETT: Nothin’ in particular. Just plain felt like hell. BRENDA: Long as it lasts. BISHOP TODD: I come in at seven, work ’til three. Then you come in (As they exit, enter HELEN, WARD, FRED, CHAD.) at nine, work ’til five. HELEN: Nice girls don’t get angry. I believe in it, being nice. It gets (WILSON and ERMA exit.) you out of things, and it gets you through things, and it also BRENDA: And I’m in charge? makes for pretty strong armor.... When I was nine, my father BISHOP TODD: They’re naming you assistant supervisor, and you’ll inherited his father’s carpet outlet, which declined rapidly under be in charge from three ’til five. his management, ending eventually in bankruptcy. He turned to BRENDA: The rest of the time, I’m like second in charge? drink, and finally left the Church. His rages, his furious, impo- BISHOP TODD: That’s right. (BRENDA has no reaction.) They’re talking tent rages. I learned I could always deflect them with a smile, an extra two hundred a month for you. and a giggle, and so that became my role. Niceness works. I don’t BRENDA: That’d come in handy. (She winces in pain.) think it’s such a bad way to be, the peacemaker. (She crosses to BISHOP TODD: Are you all right? where WARD, FRED and CHAD are seated.) BRENDA: Just a little spotting, some cramps. WARD: Helen. BISHOP TODD: Contractions? HELEN: (Wondering.) Mahonri. (Sitting.) What’s up? BRENDA: It’s still two months early. WARD: You know Fred Whitmore, of course. And his assistant, BISHOP TODD: You need to see a doctor. Chad—. BRENDA: After work today. CHAD: Chad Firmage. BISHOP TODD: Okay. (He looks at her searchingly.) HELEN: (Still cordial.) We’ve met. BRENDA: The baby’s moving, everything’s fine. WARD: Helen. Helen, when you build a company from scratch, BISHOP TODD: Okay. Anyway, I told ’em you were the only person when you begin with an idea, and pursue it, and obtain fi- for the job. nancing, and begin hiring others who share your vision . . . when BRENDA: ’Preciate it. I could sure use the money. Brian’s already told you build a company, you don’t always anticipate . . . you me, the judge can take his truck away before he pays that de- don’t. . . ductible. After I soaked his stuff. FRED: There are going to be some changes. BISHOP TODD: I’m sorry, Brenda. HELEN: (Shocked, staring at WARD.) Yes? BRENDA: I’m better off out of it. FRED: Major changes. BISHOP TODD: The ward—. HELEN: Mahonri? BRENDA: If I need it, I’ll ask. So, you come in at seven. What did WARD: I’m sorry Helen. I’m just very very sorry this had to happen. your wife think? HELEN: Look, what is this? What’s going on? (Enter KAREN.) FRED: Chad? KAREN: So great. Suddenly it’s my job to get the kids up and dressed CHAD: Over the past year, Fred and I have formed an in-house task and to school every morning. force reporting directly to Mahonri, designed to look at ways to BISHOP TODD: I told them it would be awkward. improve our cash position and profitability. After carefully evalu- KAREN: I have to be to work by seven-thirty myself. ating every department in the company, we believe that we have BISHOP TODD: I know. a recommendation to make that will greatly enhance our compa- KAREN: The bus doesn’t come ’til eight-forty- . . . three or whatever. ny’s position in this very competitive market. BISHOP TODD: I know. HELEN: You’re talking about layoffs. KAREN: What if the kids miss it? Who drives home? FRED: (A brief pause.) That’s right. BISHOP TODD: Karen, I wasn’t given any choice on this. HELEN: How big? KAREN: And I just have to deal with it, is that it? Just “Sorry, I have CHAD: This will be quite a substantial rightsizing of the company. to be to work by seven from now on. I know it screws up your HELEN: How many? life, but that’s the way it goes.” FRED: Chad? BISHOP TODD: That’s not fair. CHAD: We’re initially targeting approximately twelve hundred posi-
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tions. FRED: Any more questions? HELEN: Twelve hundred? HELEN: We’re still profitable, though. Right? We’re in the world’s CHAD: In the initial restructuring. An additional eight hundred will most rapidly expanding market. . . . (Pleading.) I still don’t un- go in the second wave, six months from now. derstand. Why is it necessary to fire two thousand people? HELEN: Two thousand total. A third of the company. FRED: Not firing, Helen. Not canning. Rightsizing. Reshaping, for FRED: That’s right. the future. HELEN: That’s . . . huge. (Fighting for control. To FRED.) And so you’ve HELEN: I understand the distinction. told me about this . . . you’ve warned me of this, so I can begin FRED: You don’t seem all that supportive of this. preparing. HELEN: I’m sorry. I’m . . . supportive. FRED: That’s right. FRED: We need team players on this. HELEN: When? HELEN: I understand. FRED: Soon. And we make our preparations quietly. The timing’s re- FRED: Your job is safe. ally crucial here. HELEN: I appreciate that. HELEN: Press release, press conference? Both? FRED: Don’t fight it. FRED: Looks like you’re on top of things. HELEN: No, I’m not. I’m not . . . but I do need to understand it. If HELEN: Putting a happy gloss on unhappy news. My forte.(Longish I’m going to defend it. Publicly.
“I got eighty million dollars, then spent two million on the house, ten million on the divorce, and a bunch on broads and whiskey. The rest I wasted. Know what I’m worth today? Eighty-four million..”
pause.) Mahonri? FRED: See, Chad, that’s the sign of someone who is very very good at FRED: Yes? her job. You see that? HELEN: Can I ask a few questions? CHAD: I do. FRED: Shoot. FRED: Immediate thought: how can I defend this, put my own feel- HELEN: Mahonri. We’re friends aren’t we? I’ve been here from the ings aside. Terrific. very beginning. Why are we doing this? (Enter GADIANTON and KISHKUMEN, two characters in biblical FRED: You see our stock price lately? robes.) WARD: That’s enough, Fred. CHAD: So. Shall I? (A pause as FRED stares at them.) Clarify the situa- HELEN: So that’s it. It’s about the price of our stock? tion for her? WARD: That’s right. GADIANTON: So if we can gross 226 per unit at 100,000 per lot, HELEN: Mahonri, we paid cash for these buildings. Every expansion we’re looking at what, fourteen percent above overhead? came out of profits. Last year was the worst year of our last five, CHAD: Fred? but we still had total profits—. KISHKUMEN: The boys at M & A think it’s a real plum. Think they FRED: Chad? can finance it at eight, sell off those two divisions—. CHAD: A figure down sixty-four percent from fiscal nineteen—. GADIANTON: Okay, let’s go for it. Fax these figures to Zeezrom at HELEN: (For the first time, a bit of an edge to her voice.) This is a prof- legal. itable company with no debt . . . KISHKUMEN: All right. And I think that we should—. WARD: Because I took us public. We’ve been selling stock to keep us FRED: Get out of here! Go! afloat. The Windows fiasco. . . . This is necessary, Helen. If I want (GADIANTON and KISHKUMEN exit. The others stare at him.) out, it’s necessary. And I want out. WARD: Fred, are you all right? HELEN: I see. FRED: Sorry. I’m sorry. (Recovering.) Tourette’s. Sorry. I usually con-
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trol it with medication. Got in a hurry this morning. FRED: This is all terrific; Chad, you getting all this? HELEN: Maybe we should—. HELEN: Make the severance as generous as we possibly can. FRED: Nah, I’m fine; just ignore me if I start cussin’. Right Chad? WARD: Top priority. Fred, we’re clear on that? I want the people we CHAD: (Uncertainly.) Right. lay off to be treated with decency and generosity—. FRED: Helen, it’s like this. Your entrepreneurs, your Bill Hewletts FRED: Good severance is a must. And Chad, we instruct the guards and Stephen Jobs and Mahonri Wards, guys like that’re kinda to be extra cordial. like your gunslingers in the Old West. Guy rides in on his trusty (Pause.) palomino, forty-five in hand, and tames some desolate corner of HELEN: Guards? the wilderness. Kills off the rattlesnakes, tears out the sagebrush, CHAD: Well, we’re firing a lot of programmers, Ms. Bryson. People scares off the riffraff. Then in come the townspeople, and they set who know how to use computers. up a bank and a church and a blacksmith’s shop and a general HELEN: Yes? store, and they build homes. Comes a time the old gunslinger CHAD: Given much notice at all, they could do all sorts of damage. just doesn’t fit in anymore. Then it’s time to move on. A virus, steal software, format hard drives. It’s quite a risk. HELEN: So you already have a buyer, an offer on the table. HELEN: So you’re escorting them out? WARD: (After a moment.) Yes. FRED: Armed guards. Plus a supervisor. FRED: Again, not for public consumption, right? We can’t tie the lay- CHAD: It really is necessary. offs to the sale. HELEN: (Pause.) And I get to put a positive spin on that, too. HELEN: I’m familiar with the relevant SEC regulations. FRED: Sensational. You really are good at this, Helen. FRED: Exactly. See, fact is, being a gunslinger doesn’t mean you nec- HELEN: (Empty.) Thanks. essarily can function great as mayor. You look at a town that’s had WARD: One more thing. (They all look at him, surprised.) a gunslinger in charge of it, and the first thing you see is four HELEN: Yes, Mahonri? blacksmiths, and three general stores, and five feedlots, and six WARD: Do this right, and you could be looking at a vice-presidency. churches, and you don’t really need more’n one of any of ‘em. FRED: (Not thrilled, but hiding it, enthusiastic.) Now there’s an idea. That’s why we call it rightsizing. Cutting down to just one of HELEN: Marketing VP. whatever it is you just can’t live without. WARD: I know you’ve had your eye on it. HELEN: But those extras. They’re not surplus. They’re people. With FRED: We’d have to clear it with Harry June, of course. mortgages and families and ties to the community. WARD: I’ll talk to Harry personally. FRED: Exactly, they’re comfortable. Lost the fire in the belly. Lean HELEN: I’d get to do the trade shows. and mean, Helen. That’s how you survive. FRED: I’m sure you’d be terrific. HELEN: Of course. Lean and mean, of course. WARD: I know you would. FRED: Anything else? FRED: Well, I think that’s all for now. We should meet pretty much HELEN: Let me just. . . . If enough is coming in—. daily on this, Helen. FRED: Helen, that’s irrelevant. We still have too many blacksmiths. HELEN: Give me two days to clear off my desk. Every horse in town’s been shoed. FRED: Friday, then. HELEN: Empasse is the buyer? HELEN: And I left. Thinking: “You handled that okay.” Niceness FRED: Can’t tell you. again to the rescue. HELEN: Yes, in other words. After the layoffs? (As she, CHAD, and FRED leave, WARD crosses to COGBURN.) FRED: After. You got a brand-new boss, don’t want him to be the COGBURN: Three hundred million. bad guy. WARD: Brother Cogburn—. HELEN: Plus the purchase price is tied to price per share, and Wall COGBURN: Cut the crap, Mahonri. I know who you are, and you Street will love a 30 percent layoff. know who I am. What do you want? FRED: None of which you’ve heard from me. WARD: Brother Cogburn, I’m—. HELEN: And how much are you getting, Mahonri? COGBURN: I’m no brother of yours. Harry and John, all those years. MAHONRI: (Clears his throat.) It’s substantial. WARD: I’m not here to talk business. HELEN: How much? COGBURN: Oh, I know. You got yourself assigned as my home FRED: Helen, Mahonri stands to retire with a total package in excess teacher. of three hundred million dollars. WARD: I was assigned—. HELEN: (After a long pause.) Not a bad golden parachute. Wow. COGBURN: By the bishop? By chance, maybe? Drew my name out of FRED: So how do we handle the PR problem? a hat? Liar—. HELEN: We leak it, say, two weeks beforehand. Make it a rumor. Not WARD: You’ve refused home teachers in the past. It was thought that that they don’t already have an idea. an old friend—. FRED: Excellent. COGBURN: I let you in. HELEN: Do what we can to soften the blow. Give them good refer- WARD: A good start. ences, maybe set up a job-placement office in-house, give them a COGBURN: First of all. We were never friends. Business rivals, place they can see what’s out there, serve them some cider and Empasse vs. ONTI. Then Harry June cut me loose, and I became, donuts—. what? Someone to feel sorry for?
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WARD: I’ve never thought of you as a figure of pity. WARD: Excuse me? COGBURN: No. I’m too damned rich. Come on. Why are you here? COGBURN: I’m teachin’ you how to be rich. Elbows back. Throw WARD: Just your home teacher. That’s all. your chest out, your belly in. Mostly they want what’s in your COGBURN: Afraid I’m going to hell. wallet, but pride, you have to try. Belly in. Big ring on the finger, WARD: I think you’re living in hell, John. (Pause.) Look, can I speak ruby or emerald. Then flash the wallet in the bar, and the next candidly? thing you know, she’s going down on you in the men’s room. COGBURN: That’d be a change. WARD: John, what I’m saying is, I’d like to help you get your life WARD: John, I want to be your friend, in the Church or out. And I back in order. (COGBURN snorts with laughter.) You’re still a young look around and I see, well, a lot of mess. Whiskey bottles in the man, talented, with a lifetime of service ahead of you. (COGBURN front lawn, unmowed—. snorts again.) Let me help you. COGBURN: (Mocking.) Word of Wisdom problems. COGBURN: Squeeze that camel through that eyehole. WARD: Weeds in the garden, paint peeling. This was a very expen- WARD: John, let me just—. sive home. COGBURN: Squeeze it through there.
“As it scrolls across the computer screen, lies appear and disappear, and soon the truth itself is lost in worries about phrasing, pace, flow.”
COGBURN: Two million dollars. WARD:—just clean the place up a little. You’d feel a lot better about WARD: Really? yourself. COGBURN: Bought it for two million dollars. Big-screen TV that COGBURN: Squeeze that camel through. slides up into the ceiling. Jacuzzi. I love that tub. I’ve had lots of WARD: John, let me help you. Please. (He begins to clean things up.) girls in that tub, Mahonri. COGBURN: You pick up after me? WARD: (With distaste.) I don’t doubt it. WARD: I don’t mind. COGBURN: Ever since Catherine left me. I got eighty million dollars (Lights down on them. Enter HELEN.) for my share of Empasse. Then I spent two million on the house, HELEN: Everyone I see, I wonder. Him? Her? (Enter SUMPTER.) Him? and two million on all the cars, and ten million on the divorce, (He groans.) Okay, Sam. What is it this time? and then I spent a bunch of it on broads and whiskey, and the SUMPTER: I really can’t anymore. I’ve hit the wall. I’m finished here. rest I wasted, and know what I’m worth today? HELEN: Sam, this is not a good day—. WARD: I don’t have any idea. SUMPTER: I know, I know, I’m sorry, I know—. COGBURN: Eighty-four million. I spent and spent and spent and HELEN: Okay, thirty seconds, Sam. spent and it was still making more all the time. Like gerbils. Or SUMPTER: One word, then, Helen. One word. Cancer. guppies. Gerbils and guppies. HELEN: You’re saying our software causes cancer. WARD: What about your children? SUMPTER: Hear me out, hear me out, picture it, cubicles and offices, COGBURN: Gerbils and guppies! hundreds, thousands of workers, women mostly, staring into the WARD: John—. screens of their PCs. Computer screens emit electrical radiation, COGBURN: Catherine stole ’em from me. which has been proved, proved, proved Helen, to increase the in- WARD: If the money makes you unhappy, why not give it up? cidence of breast cancer, bone cancer, lymphatic carcinoma, and COGBURN: I could. You know. Heart or cancer or lungs or Jerry’s . . . leukemia . . . and . . . kids or . . . culture stuff. Foundation for the Arts. HELEN: Sam—. WARD: So why don’t you? SUMPTER: And blastoma, and—. COGBURN: Because you can’t. You’ll learn. You wouldn’t have got it HELEN: Sam, no. if you didn’t want it. And then it’s yours. And then it’s you. SUMPTER: Breast cancer. When was the last time you had your WARD: That doesn’t happen with everyone. breasts examined? I’m asking as a friend. COGBURN: Hah! Elbows back. HELEN: Sam, when was the last time you had your head examined?
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SUMPTER: That’s that’s that’s not—funny. KAREN: And another three-eighteen for the car payment, seven hun- HELEN: Listen to yourself, Sam. You want to get rid of electricity? dred to the missionary fund, twelve-seventy for the house . . . SUMPTER: We’re party to it, Helen! Breast cancer, malignant BISHOP TODD: And we’re short again. melanoma, our job is to . . . to to cover it up, put the best pos- KAREN: Even with your raise. sible face on it, to to to . . . nothing’s really wrong, people! BISHOP TODD: Having the furnace go, that didn’t help. Everything’s fine! All is well in Zion, yea, Zion prospereth. And KAREN: Overcoat for Kimball, shoes for Joey and Lizzie—. and and I can’t, I just can’t—. BISHOP TODD: Where can we cut back? HELEN: Aren’t you overstating—. KAREN: Get the twins back from their missions. SUMPTER: We are complicit, Helen! We are complicit. BISHOP TODD: Eight more months. Meantime . . . HELEN: (Troubled.) You think so? KAREN: Meantime, we got this. SUMPTER: Helen? BISHOP TODD: Another VISA? HELEN: We are, aren’t we? Complicit. KAREN: They’re at five-point-nine. Discover’s over fifteen percent. SUMPTER: Glory be. I’ve finally gotten through to you, haven’t I? We could transfer the balance over and cut our interest in half. HELEN: No. BISHOP TODD: We already have VISA. SUMPTER: I have. I can see it. KAREN: We have two VISAs. All under nine-point-nine except the HELEN: Sam, tell me about your family. Discover. SUMPTER: My family? BISHOP TODD: We’d better do that, then. HELEN: That’s right. Your wife’s name is . . . Sharleen? KAREN: I’ll fill it out. I’ll need your signature in a sec. (Working on the SUMPTER: Maureen. form.) HELEN: That’s right. Maureen. Two kids? BISHOP TODD: Bibi Halstrup came by tonight. SUMPTER: You’ve seen the picture, three kids, Helen, right here on KAREN: I’m not surprised. the desk. BISHOP TODD: Complaining about Brenda Burdett. HELEN: Your oldest is a boy and then the two girls? KAREN: Uh-huh. SUMPTER: Kyle just turned eleven. BISHOP TODD: Who, as it happens, was my very next appointment. HELEN: What would you do, Sam, if you didn’t have this job? (Enter BIBI HALSTRUP, who is exactly as advertised.) SUMPTER: (Suddenly frightened.) What do you mean? What have you BIBI: Bishop Todd, really, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t serious. As heard? it was, I could barely fit it in between my aerobics class and my HELEN: Nothing. It’s just that you’ve had these . . . scruples as long work at the genealogical library. as I’ve known you. What would you do if you just couldn’t take BRENDA: Bishop, I have to see you about something. it, working here anymore? BISHOP TODD: (To both.) Go on. SUMPTER: I’ll never bother you with this nonsense again. BIBI: Bishop, I’ve always supported my Church leadership, even HELEN: Sam, that’s not what I—. when I’ve been sure they’ve made a mistake, and then it’s usually SUMPTER: I know I’m a pain in the neck, but I do good work for turned out to be me, wrong as usual . . . (little laugh) silly me. you, you can’t deny that. I don’t spread dissension, you’re the BISHOP TODD: You think I’m wrong about something, Sister only one I complain to, but never again. Never again. Halstrup? HELEN: Sam—. BIBI: Well, it’s that Sister Burdett. The new Young Women’s presi- SUMPTER: Never again. dent? HELEN: I didn’t mean to—. BRENDA: Bishop, I went to the doctor. And they took that test, that SUMPTER: Never again. What do you have for me? amniocentesis. It’s not good, Bishop, it’s not good at all. HELEN: (Sighs.) I’m just trying to—. BIBI: I know she’s been through a lot recently. What with the divorce SUMPTER: What do you have? and all, not her fault, I’m sure, I would never cast stones. Some HELEN: (After a pause.) I’ve just been given a big project, something of us have an easier time keeping our husbands satisfied than I’ve got to work on by myself. It means I’ve got to clear my desk others of us, and no one’s to blame. But really, Bishop—. for the next couple of weeks. BRENDA: Bishop, the baby’s not right. She’s just not right. And I’ve SUMPTER: Big changes? got to know the Church’s position on something because I’ve got HELEN: Yes, Sam. a decision to make and I just don’t know— SUMPTER: Bad changes? BIBI: Last week, she gave the Standards Night talk for the young HELEN: (A long pause.) I can’t tell you any more. women. SUMPTER: I’ve never complained to anyone but you. BISHOP TODD: I know. I was there, of course. HELEN: I know, Sam. BIBI: And you approved of it!?!?!? SUMPTER: I work hard, and I do good work. Good work, Helen. BISHOP TODD: There were times when it—. HELEN: I know. BRENDA: All right, girls. Listen up. Time to talk about sex. SUMPTER: Good work. BIBI: Bishop, I have to say, I’m seriously considering withdrawing HELEN: I know. my daughters from the program. (They exit. Lights up on BISHOP TODD as he talks with KAREN, as BISHOP TODD: Standards Night is pretty much about the law of they sit at the kitchen table.) chastity. Isn’t it?
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BIBI: It is about the standards of the Church in regard to serious BISHOP TODD: I’ve heard of it. A birth defect. moral transgression! BRENDA: That’s right. The baby’s spinal cord is just like open, like BRENDA: Girls, you know the kind of guy I’m talking about. Gets there’s no bone around it. There’s a little sack at the base of the that ol’ tongue working when he kisses, keeps grabbin’ at your neck, they said, and it’s full of spinal fluid, they said, and it could tits. Real boobonic plague, you know what I’m sayin’? Well, you have part of the spinal cord. The baby might be paralyzed. It got two choices, girls, that moment in your life. One, you can go might be severely retarded. There’s just no telling—.(She breaks along with him. You know, it does feel good. Feels real good, get down.) a guy rubbin’ on your titties like that. But see, the thing is, then BISHOP TODD: It’s all right, Brenda. It’s all right. he’s in control. He’s getting what he wants. And if he’s in control, BRENDA: I’m sorry. you’re not. And the next thing you know, you’re in the back seat BISHOP TODD: It’s okay. of the car, feelin’ all warm and soft. I ain’t gonna kid you, girls, BRENDA: It’s just . . . the thought of it. All exposed up the back like sex can feel just terrific. that. KAREN: She gave this talk for Standards Night? In the chapel? BISHOP TODD: Did the doctor—? BISHOP TODD: Yeah, but you shoulda heard the rest of it. BRENDA: He said that some children have immediate surgery, and BRENDA: . . . point is, after he’s gone, you get to live with all the are fine, but that’s not the usual thing.
“Every good deed, every charity you give to, you’ll hear the whispers. ‘What are his mo- tives?’ Mistrust and suspicion. That’s you. You’re not a home teacher, you’re not yourself anymore. You’re three hundred million dollars for the rest of your life.”
consequences, all by yourself. Consequences, that’s just not a BISHOP TODD: What can the Church do to help? word in his vocabulary. And those consequences, they can get a BRENDA: Well, in a case like this, where there’s not much chance of little rough. Workin’ all day at some no-account job, worried sick a normal baby anyway, and then her problems could be severe about your kids alone with who knows what kinda child-care, ones. comin’ home and cleanin’ the house by yourself. I been there. I (Pause.) am there. Hell of a lot of work for a little warmth in the belly. BISHOP TODD: Yes? Second choice? You stay in control. And you say to him, “Buster, BRENDA: What’s the Church’s stand on abortion? keep your hands to yourself.” And you say it every time he tries. BISHOP TODD: (Pause.) That’s not an option. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “If I say that, BRENDA: It is an option, even this late, the doctor said—. I’ll lose him. I gotta let him feel me up, or I’ll lose him for sure.” BISHOP TODD: No. Well, girls, if he cares for you even one little bit, you won’t lose BRENDA: What if I was to go ahead with it? him. And if he don’t, let me tell you something, and I want to BISHOP TODD: It would be a terrible mistake. hear you repeat it after me. HE. AIN’T. WORTH IT! BRENDA: What would you do? BISHOP TODD: (To BIBI. Sighs.) I’ll have a talk with her. BISHOP TODD: Just off the cuff . . . I would have to hold a court, and BIBI: Well, I hope you do, because I do not allow that kind of smutty it’s possible—. talk in my home, and I do not appreciate—. BRENDA: Excommunication? BISHOP TODD: (As he speaks, she cuts off.) It’s all right, Brenda. Just BISHOP TODD: We would take all extenuating circumstances—. tell me the problem. BRENDA: But it’s possible. BRENDA: It’s something called spina bifida. BISHOP TODD: Yes. Abortion is actionable.
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BRENDA: (Pause.) That bad, huh? it? BISHOP TODD: That bad. HELEN: You don’t have to feign interest, you know. BRENDA: They’re talking about layoffs at work, Bishop. CON: My interest is quite genuine. BISHOP TODD: I know. HELEN: But aesthetic pleasures first. Right? BRENDA: I got least seniority in the mailroom. CON: Always. BISHOP TODD: I know that, too. HELEN: Fine. BRENDA: I want this baby, Bishop. I can feel her inside me. She can’t CON: My, my. Aren’t we being snippish? kick, but she . . . moves. I wanna hold her. In my arms. HELEN: (After a moment.) I’m sorry. Bad day, all right? BISHOP TODD: You will. CON: Foot massage? BRENDA: If I have to get another job, lose my benefits, this becomes HELEN: That would be nice. a preexisting condition! (She takes off her shoes, he begins massaging her feet.) BISHOP TODD: I see. CON: So tell me all about it. I take it you haven’t finished the press BRENDA: We’re talking reconstructive surgery, years of therapy. Not release? covered, if I lose my job. HELEN: (Aside, to the audience.) Actually, the press releases were rela- BISHOP TODD: I don’t know what to say. tively easy. As it scrolls across the computer screen, you feel al- BRENDA: So. You’re my bishop, and you’re my boss. You tell me most disembodied. Mouse, shade, copy, mouse, shade, delete. what I should do. Lies appear and disappear, and soon the truth itself is lost in wor- BISHOP TODD: Wait. ries about phrasing, pace, flow. (To CON.) I’ve finished it, yes. BRENDA: For the axe to fall? CON: So what’s the problem? (Pause.) HELEN: Con, do you ever get tired of all this? BISHOP TODD: Let’s pray it doesn’t. CON: Of all what? (BRENDA exits.) HELEN: This. Our jobs, our lives. KAREN: And you never did talk to her about Standards Night. CON: The ONTI, Empasse tensions? Those will soon be solved. BISHOP TODD: No. HELEN: No, I know that. It’s not the current emergency. It’s just . . . KAREN: You’re gonna have to, you know. everything. BISHOP TODD: I know. CON: Can you specify? KAREN: Lizzie thought it was a great talk. But Bibi’s probably right. HELEN: (To audience.) Grammar, spell-check, syntax: the computer You can’t say ‘tits’ in the chapel. functions become more crucial than the objective realities the BISHOP TODD: I also know some of the girls in Young Women’s. Bibi text is intended to obscure. (To CON.) I’m beginning to hate my Halstrup’s daughters included. Maybe some plain talk will make job. a difference. CON: Too bad. I happen to love mine. KAREN: (Crossing to him with the credit application.) Maybe if you took HELEN: I know you do. the bus a couple times a week. Twenty bucks a week for gas CON: I love my work. I love the money. I love our home. I wish we doesn’t help. weren’t in St. George. BISHOP TODD: Sure. HELEN: (To audience.) And then you fax it, and that too seems un- KAREN: And Boise will have to wait. real, a machine pulling paper through itself, and you think: that BISHOP TODD: Karen—. can’t possibly be going anywhere. KAREN: (Sharply.) I’m sorry, we can’t afford it this month. CON: . . . two weeks in London every spring, two weeks in Paris BISHOP TODD: He had the surgery last Friday. Double orchidectomy. every fall. New York and San Francisco for weekend jaunts. We KAREN: So what are we supposed to do? Take out a second mort- get by. gage so you can go hold your brother’s hand? HELEN: You don’t wish that . . . BISHOP TODD: Spend some time with him. Help out Sally. (Pause.) KAREN: Not this month. CON: What? BISHOP TODD: Karen—. HELEN: You don’t regret that we didn’t have children? KAREN: We can’t afford it. CON: I haven’t closed the door on that. When we’re a little more set- (She exits. With a sigh he follows. Enter HELEN.) tled—. HELEN: Con? HELEN: I’m thirty-two years old. CON: (Sitting, listening to music, Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings.) CON: So maybe, within the next two or three years. . . . In the Shh. Listen. meantime, let’s enjoy what we have together. HELEN: It’s beautiful. Barber? HELEN: I’m going to have to lie, Con. I’m going to have to stand CON: Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings. I love this part, unison vio- there in front of all those reporters, and lie. lins. . . . CON: Helen, you’re head of public relations. It’s your job to lie. HELEN: It really is beautiful. HELEN: I know. CON: Lovely. Transporting. CON: It’s not like you’re fooling anyone. Everyone’s in on it. HELEN: (Persisting.) Con? HELEN: I know that too. CON: (Sighs.) Back to mundane reality. So. That press release, is that CON: The reporters most of all. It’s their job to be lied to.
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HELEN: I know. FRED: Well, it’s happening. CON: It could even be illegal for you to tell the truth. As far as the CYNTHIA: Marvelous. He went for the whole two thousand? SEC is concerned. FRED: He had no choice. Twelve hundred at first, and then another HELEN: Maybe so. eight. Look, I hope you don’t mind. . . . CON: So what’s the big problem? CYNTHIA: What? HELEN: I don’t like it. FRED: The stock’s at seventeen. I emptied out our savings, see if I CON: (Condescendingly.) Innocent child. can figure out a way to buy a few thousand shares. HELEN: (To the audience.) And I stared at him for a moment. And the CYNTHIA: You handle the money, Fred. You think it’s going up, fine.
“They’ve got me all wrong. I’m misunderstood. I was a busi- nessman. They called me a robber be- cause the market was so tight.”
thought flickered through my head: Who are you? Who is it I FRED: There’s gotta be a buy-out pending. See if I can launder it married? (Pause.) Who am I? through Tony; I bet it doubles. Listen, I’m just going to grab a CON: Come on. Let’s go to bed. bite. Off to rehearsal. HELEN: And we made love that night. To Barber’s Adagio for Strings. CYNTHIA: Ah, yes, it’s Thursday. Stake drama person. (They exit. Enter CYNTHIA, who watches them with great interest.) FRED: You wanna come watch? CYNTHIA: Something happened at the supermarket today, and it’s CYNTHIA: Do you mind? got me a little worried. In front of me in line was a young man, FRED: You’re more into that culture kinda stuff than me. he just had a few items, yet he waited behind a woman with a CYNTHIA: I will then. Just let me get my shoes. (As he heads off.) full cart, despite the fact that the next aisle was free. He got to Fred? her register, and the cashier looked up, and just stiffened, rang FRED: Uh-huh? up his purchase without even looking at him. And he paid her, CYNTHIA: When’s it gonna happen? and then he leaned over, and whispered something to her, then FRED: What? The layoffs? Couple of weeks. picked up his purchase and left. Another of the cashiers saw him CYNTHIA: When it does . . . can I come to work with you? leave, and went up to her—“Ginger,” her name-tag said—and FRED: Sure. Photo essay? she said, “Ginger? Are you all right?” And Ginger said, “He just CYNTHIA: I think maybe so. told me he wants a divorce.” (She exits. As she does, he sits, and enter SEANTUM, SEEZORAM, I was entranced. The audacity! To go up to her while she was and BETHESDA, three actors in badly fitting biblical robes. SEANTUM working and inform her of their upcoming divorce. Marvelous! and SEEZORAM are wearing ridiculous-looking fake beards, She didn’t cry. She told her friend she wanted to finish her shift; BETHESDA is a woman.) made a little joke about needing the money. And then she rang SEANTUM: So, Seezoram, my brother! I have found you alone, up my purchase, very controlled, just hanging on. And I won- tonight, by the judgment seat of our people! dered. The shock of it, the blow so soon. What would it take to SEEZORAM: Guards! Guards! break her down? Sympathy, I thought. A little female sympathy, SEANTUM: Call not for the guards, my brother! They are drunken and she’ll lose it. And so, I stepped into the situation. As she was with wine, prepared especially in its strength. I say unto you, counting out my change, I leaned over, just as he had done, and tonight you shall die! I said, “I happened to overhear your situation. I just want you to BETHESDA: Seantum, no! know, I’m very sorry.” And it worked! She burst into tears—I just SEANTUM: Bethesda! My wife! barely got the shot—and raced out of the store, and another BETHESDA: My husband, Seantum! Do not this wicked deed! Heed clerk had to finish the transaction! Should I have done that, I the words of the prophet Nephi, and forsake the evil counsel of wonder? (Enter FRED.) I mean, am I invalidating the work by Gadianton! stepping into it? SEEZORAM: Listen to her, my brother! FRED: Honey. SEANTUM AND BETHESDA: Shut up, Seezoram—. (They kiss.) BETHESDA: (Sotto voce.) Sorry, that’s yours—. CYNTHIA: How was work? SEANTUM: . . . you devil. Gadianton has told me of your nefarious
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plot! I know that you plotted to steal my precious birthright, and CYNTHIA: Fred, about the music? for that crime, you must die like the villain you are! FRED: Chad, don’t take off yet. BETHESDA: It is not true, Seantum! Gadianton has deceived you! CHAD: All right. SEEZORAM: Please, my brother, please! CYNTHIA: I wonder if the pianist can pick up the pace a little. SEANTUM: False judge! Take that! Kishkumen’s solo number? It’s too slow. (Stabs him. SEEZORAM falls.) CHAD: It’s supposed to be kinda introspective. SEEZORAM: I am wounded! Behold, I die! My lifeblood seeps out FRED: Well, Kish can introspect a little faster. like spring rain through billowy clouds! But I testify, with my last CYNTHIA: I’m worried about her voice. Isn’t Kishkumen a man?
“. . . A little advice. When you take over the company. That’s your new Kishkumen. Your right hand man.”
breath, that I am a righteous judge! The prophet Nephi will sus- FRED: With the beard, no one’ll notice. Anything else? tain me! And I call on you, my brother Seantum, to repent this CYNTHIA: That comic number, the wicked Nephite rag? horrid deed! CHAD: That’s a fun song. SEANTUM: What have I done! CYNTHIA: But it’s a rag. Like ragtime? Scott Joplin? SEEZORAM: Repent! FRED: It’s gotta go faster too. BETHESDA: Seantum! CHAD: Look, she’s just outside. You wanna talk to her? SEEZORAM: Repent! (He falls, dies horribly. Tableau.) CYNTHIA: That’s a good idea. FRED: Gadianton? Where’s Gadianton? CHAD: I’ll go with you. BETHESDA: (Under her breath.) Whose line is it? FRED: And don’t miss your entrance next time. SEANTUM: I don’t remember. CHAD: I’m sorry, Fred. I’ve been a little short of sleep. FRED: Gadianton! FRED: Couple weeks, it’ll all be over. (Enter CHAD, half in and half out of costume.) CHAD: Is that all for tonight? CHAD: Sorry. FRED: Yeah, go home. Wake up your wife; maybe she’ll let you FRED: Keep on your toes, people. Chad, your evil laugh? boink her. BETHESDA: (Relieved.) The evil laugh. CHAD: (Somberly, but hiding it.) Yeah, maybe. See you tomorrow (The other actors relax.) Fred. FRED: Let’s do it. Seezoram? (He exits with CYNTHIA. FRED looks at his script, shouts to CHAD.) SEEZORAM: Repent! FRED: And pick up the pace on that scene with Nephi! (Grumbling to (He dies horribly. Tableau. Enter CHAD, as GADIANTON. He looks himself.) Damn thing lasts forever . . . over the tableau, then laughs in a bloodcurdling fashion.) (As he works, one of the costumes on the rack comes to life. It’s GA- FRED: And blackout. Good work people; it’s really coming along. DIANTON from the earlier scenes.) That’s it for tonight. Hang up your costumes on the rack over GADIANTON: Hello, Fred. there. We’re back Saturday morning, eight o’clock. Lines were FRED: (Not looking up.) We’re done tonight; go home. good tonight. GADIANTON: Fred. (They all hang costumes on a costume rack, exit.) FRED: Look, I’m kinda busy. . . . (Looks up.) Wait a . . . I’ve seen you SEEZORAM: Fred, how was my death scene? before. FRED: Good, fine. Listen, I was thinking, maybe we could get like GADIANTON: Yes, you have seen me. fake blood stuff, put it in some kinda pouch in your mouth; you FRED: (Shaking his head to clear it.) Who are you? could bite down on it, bleed out the mouth for your death scene. GADIANTON: I’m Gadianton. SEEZORAM: Cool! FRED: I’m leaving. (He heads for the door. As he does, GADIANTON flies FRED: What can I say? I’m a directing genius. into the air, over his head, blocks his way.) Look, I am not going SEEZORAM: No doubt! nuts; that is not an option. I don’t go nuts. That’s not the kinda FRED: Could also be louder, Max. thing I do. SEEZORAM: I’ll work on it. (He exits.) GADIANTON: You’re not going nuts, Fred.
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FRED: Then leave me alone. FRED: (Laughs with her.) Right. (Suddenly overcome with pain.) GADIANTON: You’re a Mormon now, Fred. You’re required to accept CYNTHIA: Fred? Are you all right? certain myths as objective realities. FRED: Killer headache. FRED: What are you doing here? CYNTHIA: Fred, I think I’d better drive. Can you wait here? GADIANTON: Setting the record straight. FRED: I think so. FRED: What record? CYNTHIA: Let me get the car. GADIANTON: The book, the play. They’ve got me all wrong. I’m mis- FRED: You go do that. understood, just as you are. (He sits. She exits.) FRED: I’m no Gadianton robber. GADIANTON: Fred—
“Thus they did have free intercourse one with another, to buy and to sell, and to get gain.’”
GADIANTON: Neither was I. I was a businessman. They called me a FRED: Leave me alone! robber because the market was so tight. GADIANTON: But, Fred. I’m your greatest admirer. FRED: A businessman. FRED: What do you want from me? GADIANTON: Buying low and selling high, marketing, finance. GADIANTON: Watch. FRED: What do you want? (Lights up on HELEN, standing in the middle of a press conference, GADIANTON: To be your friend. (As CYNTHIA returns.) Shhhhh—. surrounded by reporters.) CYNTHIA: Fred, your pianist is not being terribly coop. . . . Are you REPORTER TWO: Helen, is there any truth to the rumor that these all right? layoffs are related to or part of plans to sell the company, possibly FRED: (Recovering.) I don’t know. to Empasse or some other major software supplier? CYNTHIA: You look awful. HELEN: (Lying smoothly.) I am aware of no plans to sell ONTI. FRED: It’s nothing. REPORTER THREE: So you deny that Mahonri Ward is trying to sell CYNTHIA: Headache? (He nods.) It’s probably just this play. Give the company? anyone a headache. HELEN: As far as I know, Mahonri Ward will still be running things FRED: You don’t like the play? twenty years from now. CYNTHIA: Well, it is pretty awful. I mean, that book’s supposed to be REPORTER ONE: Do you know of any further layoffs after these scripture, and they turn it into this cheesy melodrama. twelve hundred? Gadianton, robber and fiend. (Mimes twitching a villainous mous- HELEN: I have heard rumors of a so-called “second wave.” As far as I tache and gives her own blood-curdling laugh.) know, there is no truth to them whatsoever. GADIANTON: Listen to her, Fred. A businessman. “Thus they did REPORTER TWO: Ms. Bryson. ONTI is a profitable company, in a have free intercourse one with another, to buy and to sell, and to rapidly expanding market. Why this massive layoff? get gain—.” HELEN: Mr. Jones, for a town to function properly, it needs certain FRED: (Interrupting him.) To get gain. craftsmen; say, a blacksmith, and a tailor, and a butcher, and a CYNTHIA: What? baker. But let’s suppose . . . FRED: Laissez faire economics. Zero-sum-game kinda market. GADIANTON: Beautiful. CYNTHIA: Fred, why don’t you lie down or something? HELEN: (Finishing.) . . . that’s why we don’t really call it “a layoff.” We FRED: Zero sum game. Pot’s too small; for me to gain, you have to prefer the term— lose; for me to lose. . . . Lean and mean. HELEN AND FRED: (Simultaneously.) “rightsizing.” CYNTHIA: Fred? Cut it out, okay? GADIANTON: Rightsizing. Lovely word. FRED: (Shakes his head, comes to.) Sorry, Cinny. Sorry. HELEN: (She stares at FRED. In a whisper.) Rightsizing . . . Rightsizing CYNTHIA: I’m worried about you. ... FRED: Just woolgathering, thinking about the play. So you don’t (Pause.) think I should do it? FRED: (Simultaneously. Quietly.) Good girl. CYNTHIA: Oh, no, do the play. It’s just silly fun; who cares? I mean, GADIANTON: Fred. . When you take over the company. That’s your it’s not like the real Gadianton’s going to come back and sue you new Kishkumen. Your right-hand man. (He flies out.) I’m very for defamation of character, right? proud of you.
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(FRED stares after him. Enter ERMA MACKELPRANGER and CON: My. We’re certainly dawdling this morning. WILSON HACKETT.) (Music swells. The Dies Irae from Mozart’s Requiem.) ERMA MACKELPRANGER: So finally some newspaper folks come BISHOP TODD AND HELEN: (simultaneously.) I know. I’m sorry. snoopin’, and they wrote up our problems, the AEC got scared KAREN: You’re supposed to be at work! and had hearings—up to Salt Lake. BISHOP TODD: It’s today, Karen. WILSON HACKETT: Army said that sometimes they’d cancel tests KAREN: The layoffs? ’cause the wind was blowing “the wrong direction.” ’Nother (He nods.)
“How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Two fewer than it took last week!”
words, west, towards L. A. or Vegas. What I wanna know is, if HELEN: Just couldn’t face it. the tests wasn’t dangerous, how could there be a “right” or CON: (Incredulously.) Couldn’t face it? “wrong” direction—for the wind? KAREN: Now you listen to me, McKay. We need that job. You know ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Poisoned the air we breathed, the grass what our finances are like. our children played on, the milk we drank, the water we washed BISHOP TODD: Karen, I’m not in—any danger. up in—. HELEN: I think I’m—safe enough. WILSON HACKETT: I went to them hearings for one day. All these KAREN: You will be if you—don’t get in. men in suits, talkin’ so reasonable. CON: I’m not sure anyone’s—completely safe. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: I just wanted to stand up and scream BISHOP TODD: It’s Brenda I’m worried about. And some of the “shut up! Shut up you dumb people! Don’t you know they’re others. Sister Maxie, Brother Hales, Sister Frederickson—. killing us!” But I didn’t. HELEN: I’m mostly worried about Sam. WILSON HACKETT: The fact is, we was patriotic people! God KAREN: So what? fearing, flag salutin’, army volunteerin’ people. And they treat us CON: Sam’s a joke! like—makes me sick! BISHOP TODD: I’m their supervisor, Karen. It’ll be my job to escort ERMA MACKELPRANGER: (A warning.) Wilson. . . . them off—the premises. WILSON HACKETT: (Conspiratorial.) Eisenhower knew. We all voted HELEN: Me, and two armed guards. for him, and he knew the whole time. CON: Helen, you know why that’s necessary. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: He never—. KAREN: Then get in and do it. WILSON HACKETT: He said: “We can afford to sacrifice a few thou- BISHOP TODD: Karen—. sand people out there in the—interest of national security.” HELEN: Con, will you please turn off that music—. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: Don’t talk dirty about the president—. KAREN: We need the money, McKay. This is no time for scruples. Them’s just rumors. CON: Sorry. I thought you might appreciate— WILSON HACKETT: He was a damned politician! HELEN: This morning, it’s more than I can handle. ERMA MACKELPRANGER: He was a Republican! CON: I thought the Dies Irae might be appropriate—. (Enter BISHOP TODD.) HELEN: Well, it’s not. BISHOP TODD: We call ourselves downwinders; the word’s a badge CON: You’re in business, Helen. Lean and mean. of honor. But it’s just stories people tell. My father, my mother, HELEN: I know. my brothers Wilford and Lorenzo. . . . Could just be bad luck. It’s (Reluctantly, she and BISHOP TODD pull themselves up, exit. Lights up just that . . . when you grow up with mushroom clouds and red on FRED and CHAD, sitting.) sunsets routine facts of life, and you see your entire family, one FRED: . . . optimist sees the glass and says, “It’s half full.” Pessimist by one. . . . Then, for the rest of your life, every headache, every says, “It’s half empty.” Corporate exec says, “You know, you’ve re- stubbed toe, every twinge in the back, every bruise . . . ally got more water in that glass than you need.” (Enter KAREN. Lights up on HELEN and CON on other half of the (He and CHAD laugh.) stage.) CHAD: Okay okay, I’ve got one. How many software engineers does KAREN: McKay! It’s seven-fifteen! it take to change a light bulb? BISHOP TODD: And you wonder if that’s the first sign. Of what’s FRED: I know this one. going to kill you. TOGETHER: Two fewer than it took last week!
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FRED: Knock knock. loaf. CHAD: Who’s there? CHAD: Fred . . . ? FRED: Not you anymore. (He laughs.) FRED: Yeah? CHAD: Hey, no fair, you stole that one from an old Dilbert. CHAD: Could I . . . you know . . . hack it? FRED: Yeah? I wondered where I’d heard it. FRED: You? CHAD: (After a pause.) Seems kinda strange, doesn’t it? CHAD: He likes young guys. I’m a hard worker; I’ve shown you that. FRED: What? FRED: So? CHAD: Rush rush rush the last few weeks. Then today, the biggest CHAD: Well, when I finish here. Couple years down the road, day in the history of the company, and we don’t really have maybe. Could I work for Microsoft? much. FRED: Why is a manhole cover round? FRED: I was just thinking about the good old days. CHAD: What? CHAD: Oh, yeah? FRED: Why is a manhole cover round? Answer me.
“And the stockholders did flourish, and their flourishing came at the cost of their brothers and sisters!”
FRED: Watching you. Late nights, early mornings. Takes me back. CHAD: Well . . . I don’t really know. They just started doing it that CHAD: Where did you get your start? If you don’t mind my asking. way, I guess, and—. FRED: Not at all. P & G. FRED: I just invented a terrific new hot dog. Project how many can I CHAD: Proctor and Gamble, huh? In the Midwest? expect to sell at baseball games next season, major and minor FRED: Yeah. Spent three years in Cincinnati, at corporate, rooting for league. the Reds and Bengals. The devil’s company. CHAD: Hot dogs? I’m not sure. I mean, some people don’t even CHAD: What? like—. FRED: The trademark? FRED: Invent a new currency. If most purchases are under a hun- CHAD: Trademark? Oh, you mean that genie thing? dred, what are your four lowest bill denominations? FRED: That’s right. Fundamentalist wackos decided that the P & G CHAD: Bill denominations? What are you—. trademark, the genie guy with the lantern, was a sign of devil FRED: (Starts to leave.) I’ll need that marketing report on my desk by worship. It even made Donahue. We all thought it was pretty five o’clock tonight. funny, the devil’s company, like the boss was Satan’s CEO? Very CHAD: Wait. Just a second. You didn’t even answer—my question. inside joke, you understand. If anyone found out, every bible- FRED: Answer is no. You couldn’t work for Microsoft. thumping housewife in America woulda turned in her Tide. CHAD: Why? CHAD: So, you were there three years? Where’d you go then? FRED: Because you’re not smart enough. FRED: Redmond. (He exits. CHAD stares after him, dumbfounded. Lights down, CHAD: Microsoft! No kidding! enter BISHOP TODD, BRENDA.) FRED: Yeah, that was me. Twenty-seven years old and rubbing BRENDA: (Tense.) It’s started. shoulders with Bill Gates. Best two years of my life. BISHOP TODD: What’s happening? CHAD: Bill Gates? You met him? You worked with him? BRENDA: Saw a woman out in the parking lot. Crying so hard she FRED: I worked with him every day. Personally. couldn’t get her key in the lock of her car; guard had to help her. CHAD: What’s he like? I mean really? BISHOP TODD: Did you recognize her? FRED: (Admiringly.) Smarter, tougher, meaner, quicker. You practi- BRENDA: Real short dark-haired lady, worked in Payroll? cally lived in your suit, and he got there earlier and left later than BISHOP TODD: I know who you mean. Can’t place a name. everyone. The best of the best of the best. BRENDA: Me, neither. So what do we do? CHAD: Why’d you leave? BISHOP TODD: Treat it like a normal workday. FRED: I was stupid. See, I wasn’t technical, wasn’t one of Bill’s Smart BRENDA: Yeah, that’s real likely. You sleep a wink last night? Guys. He likes engineers, I was a beancounter. I got another offer BISHOP TODD: Mail still needs to go out. and like a dummy, took it. BRENDA: I know. But normal, it ain’t. Let’s get going, people. CHAD: You’ve done well for yourself. (Lights down on them. HELEN with SAM.) FRED: When you’ve had filet mignon, it’s hard to get used to meat- HELEN: Come on, Sam, my press conference is in twenty minutes.
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SAM: Just waiting for it to HELEN: . . . will be print. changed. HELEN: You sent the fax BRENDA: Brother Friday. They all coming? Parmley—. SAM: The Spectrum, the Sun, CYNTHIA: A cubicle in Las Vegas Review, even the Personnel, empty. On L. A. Times. Two live re- the desk, a five-by- motes, but I couldn’t see seven family photo- which stations. graph. A man,—a HELEN: I look okay? woman, chubby little SAM: You look super. kids. Helen—? BRENDA: Mr. Daletski, HELEN: What? the HR guy who SAM: You heard anything—? helped me with insur- HELEN: No, Sam, I haven’t. ance stuff. Mrs. Not one way or another. Ramirez, who—al- (She exits.) ways had flowers on BRENDA: (Looking through pa- her desk. pers.) They say mostly su- HELEN: Yes, we do have pervisors, or assistant su- concerns about sabo- pervisors. tage. BISHOP TODD: Who said BRENDA: Brother Bentley. that? Sister Enos—. Brother BRENDA: Guy I met in the Rahm. lunchroom. Said mostly CYNTHIA: And a man assistants. typing blindly, staring BISHOP TODD: You or me, in straight ahead. Empty other words. cubicles—to either side. BRENDA: That’s what he said. BRENDA: Brother Walters—just married a few months. BISHOP TODD: We’re pretty understaffed down here. I was even HELEN: Yes, plus a supervisor—if possible. about to request another afternoon person. Maybe we’ll be okay. BRENDA: Sister Breinholt. Brother Chandler—. Sister Ludlow. BRENDA: Maybe. HELEN: Seniority is a factor—absolutely. (Enter HELEN, press conference.) CYNTHIA: Two men embracing, tall blonde, little oriental. HELEN: That’s right, a supervisor and two security guards. BISHOP TODD: And I found myself thinking about Mahonri Ward. BISHOP TODD: How’s the baby? Wondering if I could talk to him. BRENDA: Six more weeks. Had another ultrasound. She hardly WARD: Hello, Fred. moves at all, but the picture. . . . It helps to see her. (Enter FRED. GADIANTON, enters, watches.) BISHOP TODD: Have you . . . made any decision? FRED: Mahonri. Big day, huh? BRENDA: Let’s just survive today, okay, Bishop? WARD: At least it’ll soon be over. HELEN: I know this seems harsh, but the fact is, it is necessary. FRED: Yep. BISHOP TODD: All right. WARD: Just a few more hours. HELEN: They’ll have the opportunity tomorrow or Friday to pick up (Pause.) personal belongings. FRED: I think it was a good idea for you to come in today. I know (Enter CYNTHIA.) you didn’t want to—. CYNTHIA: Fred told me they would start at nine, but I was disap- WARD: No. pointed, I must say, because when I pulled into the parking lot, I FRED: But I like the message it sends. was almost hit by a car pulling out, the driver crying . . . And I WARD: Yes. still had my lens cap on! When something is to start at nine, then (Pause.) that’s when it should start. FRED: You coming in. BRENDA: Brother Warner was the first to go. WARD: Yes. CYNTHIA: (CYNTHIA, BRENDA, and HELEN overlap these quick (Pause.) speeches. CYNTHIA snapping.) Man leaving . . . half walking, half FRED: Well, I’ll keep on top of things. running, body so rigid he—nearly tripped down the step. WARD: This is just useless. BRENDA: Sister Lakey—. FRED: Excuse me? HELEN: All computer access codes—. WARD: I don’t run this company anymore. Why did I even bother? BRENDA: Brother Rockwood—. Brother Smith. FRED: Support, solidarity.
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WARD: People I started with, people I hired. Coming in and beg- aster happening, and I was told I reported directly to him. ging. Begging for this assistant or that secretary. That’s what to- GADIANTON: What kind of disaster? day’s going to be. BISHOP TODD: I’m supposed to tell Mr. Ward directly. FRED: I’ll keep ’em out, Mahonri, they can come to me. GADIANTON: Well, tell it to Mr. Whitmore. WARD: I don’t think so. I’ve always had an open door. I’m not BISHOP TODD: My job is to tell Mr. Ward. changing that today. If it makes them feel better to have someone GADIANTON: Well, my job is to screen Mr. Ward’s appointments. to yell at, I’m here. And today he just can’t fit you in. FRED: Whatever you want. BISHOP TODD: Five minutes, that’s all, I’ll take five minutes and—. (Pause.) GADIANTON: (Simultaneously.) I’ve told you, he’s not seeing anyone, WARD: Get out. you might as well—.
“A human mistake, that’s what you’re saying we made? Like we shouldn’t lay her off, like we should lay you off instead?”
FRED: Right. (He exits.) Man. (WARD, up by the door.) GADIANTON: Don’t worry, Fred. WARD: It’s okay. Send him in. FRED: What’s with him? HELEN: Usually, we subcontract our security through—Diamond GADIANTON: It’s nothing. If anyone gets in to see him, he’ll just un- Security. dercut you. I’ll take charge here. BRENDA: Mr. Kovaks. Mr. Greenfield. Dorothy and Carrie Ann— FRED: Thanks. from the cafeteria. (He exits. Lights back up on HELEN and CYNTHIA.) CYNTHIA: Customer Support. Chair after empty chair, phone lights BRENDA: Look, maybe this isn’t the time, but . . . flashing. BISHOP TODD: What is it? BRENDA: Mr. Bjarnson—. Sister Bridges. BRENDA: See, Alice wants off at three-thirty to be with her kinder- CYNTHIA: And over it all, the voices. Courteous—. Tense. gartener, wants to switch to mornings. Now Brett thinks that. . . . Frightened. Helpful. Bishop, are you listening? BRENDA: Brother Marchant—. Brother Guinness. BISHOP TODD: I’m sorry. It’s about Alice, whatever you suggest. I’m HELEN: Today, we thought it might be better not to use people the sure it’ll be fine. employees already know. BRENDA: It’s not that easy, Bishop. BISHOP TODD: And so I told him the entire story, the ruined clothes BISHOP TODD: Brenda. I’m sorry. Keep on top of things here for a in the bed of the truck, the Standards Night talk, spina bifida. sec. I have to go talk to someone. And he sat there, his face in shadow. And whenever I paused, BRENDA: Whatever you say. he’d just say quietly: (Lights down. BISHOP TODD exits.) WARD: Go on. HELEN: Every effort will be made to treat people with respect and BISHOP TODD: Mr. Ward, we’re short-handed down there anyway. If courtesy. you lay anyone off, we’re just not going to be able to get the mail CYNTHIA: Programming. Two young men in their early twenties out on time, not the way we have been. Anyway, I know she’s an watch, as an older man’s escorted out. His hair slicked—back, assistant supervisor, and I know they’re the people you’re tar- shoes polished. geting. But I’m begging you. Don’t . . . (Pause.) BRENDA: Sister Hansen. Sister Yamaguchi—. Brother Mendez. WARD: (After a long pause.) Bishop Todd. What a remarkable story. CYNTHIA: On every wall, posters: motivational sayings, “Proper You care about your . . . you care, and that’s good. I just have this planning prevents poor performance,” the p’s—all highlighted. feeling that all across the company today, that kind of pain. . . . HELEN: Yes, we recognize it is a volatile—situation. (Long pause.) I hate this. CYNTHIA: The boss leaves. The door shuts; young guys give each BISHOP TODD: You can’t stop it? other high fives. WARD: I even voted against it. . . . There’s a limit to what a CEO can GADIANTON: I’m sorry, but Mr. Ward isn’t seeing anyone today. do, especially. . . . Well, I can do some things still. (Writing at his BISHOP TODD: Is he in? desk.) Take this note to Fred Whitmore. One less layoff in the GADIANTON: I can’t answer that. He’s not seeing anyone—. mail room. . . . I’ll try to call him as well. (Finishes the note.) I BISHOP TODD: Look, I’m from the mailroom. We have a major dis- can’t do this for everyone. But this strikes me as an exceptional
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case. SAM: (Hands up.) Fine. BISHOP TODD: Thank you, Mr. Ward. (He starts to exit.) I take this to HELEN: Thank you—. Now, I’m going to have to ask you to accom- Mr. Whitmore? pany me. . . . WARD: He’s running the layoff. SAM: (Speaking simultaneously.) You are doing something despicable. BISHOP TODD: I thought this was your company. I hope you know that—. WARD: Not any longer. HELEN: (Stops him.) Sam. (As BISHOP TODD leaves.) SAM: Go on. HELEN: The guards have been instructed to act only if necessary to HELEN: Accompany me out of the building to your car. prevent bodily injury or the—destruction of company property. SAM: Let’s go. CYNTHIA: And then someone tried to take my camera away from HELEN: Sam . . . look, you’re supposed to come back tomorrow for me. personal effects, but if you want to . . . I don’t know. The picture BRENDA: Sister Douglas. Brother Alvarez—. Brother Taylor. of your family—. CYNTHIA: Tried to take it out of my hands and smash it against a SAM: Keep it. (Hands it to her.) Put it on your desk. (He exits.) wall. HELEN: So, Ms. Vice-President. HELEN: Any further questions? BRENDA: Brother Flandro. Brother Houghton. Sister Pomeroy. CYNTHIA: A guard stopped him, the flash went off, and I think, ac- HELEN: What do you do now? cidentally, he may have gotten a shot of his own face in closeup. I BRENDA: Fred Whitmore better watch out. I know where he parks. hope so. I’ve never seen such rage. (Lights down on her. WARD suddenly gets up. He crosses to COG- CHAD: I’m sorry, Mr. Whitmore isn’t in right now. BURN, but WARD’s no longer depressed; quite energized, in fact.) BISHOP TODD: When do you expect him? WARD: Well, John, all finished. The yard is trimmed, the clippings CHAD: I’m never sure. He’s usually in and out. are gone, garden’s weeded. Come out and see. BISHOP TODD: It’s rather important. COGBURN: (Still a bit stunned, amazed.) I saw. CHAD: You’re welcome to wait. I’d call him, but he didn’t even take WARD: But you haven’t seen the paint job. Come on out. his phone. COGBURN: In a second. BISHOP TODD: I’ll wait. WARD: Whatever you say. The point is, John, we’re getting you (Phone rings.) cleaned up. Okay? CHAD (on the phone.): Excuse me. Honey, this is not a good. . . . COGBURN: For all the good it’s gonna do. We’ve talked about this. . . . Honey, there’s absolutely nothing I WARD: I don’t expect it to solve all your problems. I’m just trying to can. . . . We’ve had this conversation before. encourage you to—. HELEN: Any questions? (Spotlight on her, alone and vulnerable.) COGBURN: To what? CYNTHIA: I’m not sure I’ve ever done better work. The looks, their WARD: To make a start, John. To get your life back in order. faces. COGBURN: Why? HELEN: ’Cause if you don’t have any, I sure do. (She crosses back to WARD: I told you, John. I’ve been assigned as your home teacher. SAM.) And I care about you. (COGBURN stares at him in amazement. He SAM: How did it go? looks as though he may cry. Suddenly, as he stares at WARD, he begins HELEN: Pretty awful. to chuckle. The chuckle expands into a laugh, a braying, harsh, ugly, (The Dies Irae starts again.) laugh.) John, what’s the matter? (The laugh turns into a coughing fit. SAM: Good. COGBURN doubles over, but still laughing predominates.) Can I help HELEN: Good? you? (He reaches over to pat COGBURN on the back.) John? SAM: It should be awful. You should feel awful. I do. We’re doing an COGBURN: Don’t touch me. awful thing. And we’re defending it. We should feel bad. WARD: (Friendly but puzzled.) Do you mind sharing the joke? HELEN: Well, I do. COGBURN: The joke? The joke is you! SAM: Good. WARD: I don’t understand—. (A pause.) COGBURN: I figured it out. I did! The yard and the paint job, it’s all HELEN: Sam. . . . outside the house, isn’t it? SAM: (Warily.) Yes? WARD: I told you, I’m trying to—. HELEN: Sam, look. I don’t know how to say this—. COGBURN: This isn’t about home teaching! Not about me! It’s about SAM: Helen? the house! HELEN: I want you to know that this is no reflection on your work. WARD: It’s about you. You can expect, and you deserve, an outstanding letter of recom- COGBURN: It’s about property values! mendation. WARD: (Pause.) You can’t really believe—. SAM: You knew all day, didn’t you—? COGBURN: This house is the disgrace of the neighborhood, and you HELEN: Sam, I’m terribly terribly—. don’t want it to drag down property values. (Laughing again.) SAM: Shut up. WARD: John, that’s ridiculous. HELEN: I’m afraid, I’m going to have to . . . (Nearly loses control.) . . . COGBURN: I don’t believe you—. to ask you to remove your hands from your computer now. WARD: I’m your—home teacher.
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COGBURN: How does it feel? WARD: What? COGBURN: Every good deed, every charity you give to . . . you’ll hear the whispers. “What are his motives?” Mistrust and suspicion. That’s you. WARD: I don’t believe that. COGBURN: Every friend you make, you’ll wonder, could just be about the money. Every conversation, that’s underneath. “Maybe he’ll give me money.” You’re not a home teacher. You’re not even Mahonri Ward anymore. You’re three hundred million dollars, THE NATURAL ARCHES and that’s all you are for the rest of your life. WARD: What are you doing? Why are you saying this? (NEAR MOAB, UTAH) COGBURN: I’m teaching you how to be rich. There is beauty enough here (WARD, stunned, backs away from COGBURN, sits across from where BISHOP TODD sits, sleeping in his chair.) in the rough hewn stone BISHOP TODD: (Light shift indicates a dream sequence. The Dies Irae to forgive the human presence begins.) Mahonri Ward. Welcome. I’m your bishop. And this dis- and nature’s cataclysmic cycles. ciplinary council is now in session. In a few thousand years WARD: But I haven’t done anything to warrant a court. (As he lists his good deeds, BISHOP TODD begins the charge against him. They speak the delicate structures may well simultaneously.) I pay my tithing, and I attend my meetings regu- be gone, taken to dust by the same larly, and I abstain from tobacco, alcohol, coffee, tea, white sugar strong-fingered god who and soups hotter than my body temperature, and I obey the law so methodically worked the water of chastity and am honest in my dealings with my fellow man in- cluding all traffic ordinances, and serve faithfully in my calling as and sandstone on this salt plain. home teacher as my brother John Cogburn will surely attest. BISHOP TODD: (Simultaneously.) You willfully and with full knowl- The balance broken, what shall rise edge and intent did commit an act of economic violence against up from the earth’s mottled your brothers and sisters in the gospel, depriving them of their ability to earn an honest livelihood by the sweat of their brow flesh? Perhaps fire in the mouth and thus trampling on the poor but honest at heart in order that of Pavlof*, gray ash draped over the stockholders of this company might get gain. (Continuing the white and blood-specked tundra. after WARD finishes.) And the stockholders did flourish, and their flourishing came at the cost of their brothers and sisters! (Shadowy figures in the background begin to appear.) Maybe the wild Pacific under HARRY JUNE: Stock’s rising. It’s up twelve dollars a share. its massive weight will leap up BISHOP TODD: Members of the court, how find you? (As they speak, and swallow California, his head droops.) as the seas once carved spires GADIANTON: Not guilty. HELEN: It’s normal business practice. Not guilty. and the haunches through CYNTHIA: Not guilty. to the hollows of this tan stone. FRED: Not guilty. COOPER AND SCOTT: Not guilty. Or might it be man which ascends, (The entire company begins echoing, whispering “Not guilty.” The bishop slowly retreats to his chair, head on his desk.) having built so highly upon him- WARD: (As the whispering fades.) I’m not guilty. I’m not. I’m not. self, up towards the heavens, COGBURN: (Simultaneously.) No one will ever believe in your inno- to witness the parade of planets cence. Not for the rest of your life. and the cascading stars falling away (He and WARD exit. Lights to normal. BISHOP TODD is asleep.) CHAD: (On the phone.)...Whatever you think you have to do. from his dark and damning center. FRED: (Enters, sees the BISHOP sleeping.) Chad, what’s going on? Who —ROBERT J. HOLT
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Whenever one talks about a conflict between an individual and an institution, there exists an unavoidable temptation to structure the story in melodramatic terms, pitting the courageous artist against the unfeeling censors within the corporate monolith. Ironically, that’s also the story told in the play itself. ME, GADIANTON, AND BYU
By Eric Samuelsen
BEGAN WRITING GADIANTON IN THE SUMMER OF was fortunate enough to be assigned George Judy as a director. 1994. At the time, I was living in a small, struggling, George’s feedback was extraordinary, and at his suggestion, I I largely blue-collar ward in west Provo and was assigned to reshaped the play entirely, changing it from a rather cumber- hometeach a family whose father was employed by a computer some three-act structure to a far more compact two acts. We software company. When he was laid off, the family was devas- had a staged reading of the play at the USF in Cedar City, and tated economically. That layoff angered me, as it seemed, from the response was encouragingly positive, particularly from my judgmental outsider’s perspective, utterly unwarranted. non-Mormons. The play was subsequently workshopped and And so I began writing Gadianton. read at the Tuacahn Mormon Arts Festival, where Doug About that same time, my brother Rob was employed by Stewart and Robert Paxton were similarly helpful and sup- NCR at its corporate headquarters in Dayton, Ohio, and NCR portive. had been purchased by A T & T, in what analysts now call one The BYU Theatre and Media Arts department, where I teach, of the most foolish and destructive of all those mid-nineties decided to produce the play, and my colleague Bob Nelson was mega-mergers. Rob and I talked on the phone a lot, and he assigned to direct it. It was to open in February 1997. told me about the atmosphere of paranoia and mistrust that During Fall term in 1996, while the play was in initial re- now characterized his working environment. I’m not a busi- hearsals, Bob and I heard from our dean, Bruce Christensen, nessman, and so, as part of my research for the play, I began that the BYU administration had some concerns about the pro- reading business books, many of which deal with the software duction. This led to a series of meetings between Bruce industry and with layoffs generally. Also, locally, the papers Christensen; Bob Nelson; Eric Fielding, our Department were full of stories about the WordPerfect purchase by Novell Chair; and Jim Gordon, who was then an Associate Academic and the subsequent layoffs at WordPerfect. I found these sto- Vice-President; and me. As a result of those meetings, I re- ries particularly interesting because one of the most helpful wrote the play, which was subsequently produced in 1997 to books I’d read had been Pete Peterson’s Almost Perfect: How a positive reviews. Bunch of Regular Guys Built WordPerfect Corporation. And, of course, since I was writing a play about layoffs in the computer HE FACT THAT those meetings took place has led to a industry, the WordPerfect story was particularly relevant to number of rumors about the play and its production. me. I knew a few people who had been laid off by T In certain circles, it’s now become rather famous, I be- WordPerfect, but the layoff that had prompted my interest, the lieve. Let me take the opportunity of this play’s publication in layoff of the man I was hometeaching, had been from a dif- SUNSTONE to lay those rumors to rest. I promise you, the facts ferent company. And my sense of the visceral, emotional as- are very boring. pect of layoffs, the grinding panic and fear and anger and mis- Rumor One: The play is about the WordPerfect layoffs. Not re- trust, I was getting entirely from my brother. ally. The play is about layoffs generally. The impetus for the Eventually, I finished the play. I showed it to a few close play was a layoff at a different company, and the most valuable friends, Tim Slover in particular, who liked it and offered part of my research largely came from conversations with my helpful suggestions. I then submitted it to the New brother about his situation at NCR. I was interested in specific Playwrights series sponsored by the Utah Shakespearean connections between layoffs and Mormonism, and particularly Festival. My good friend Jerry Crawford championed it, and I the Book of Mormon account of the Gadianton robbers. And
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I do believe layoffs are, in most cases, morally suspect. That’s why I wrote the play—to make that case. But I did not and do not want to attack anyone personally.
so I set the play in a predominantly LDS community. But I play substantially, and somewhere a much stronger version exists made every effort to distance the specifics of the play from —perhaps even stronger than the one we’re reading now in those of the WordPerfect sale and layoffs. Fred Whitmore, the SUNSTONE. The decision to re-write the play was mine. The play’s demonic protagonist, had no WordPerfect parallel, for specific changes I made were made to distance the play from example, though there were a couple of guys like him at NCR. real-life situations and individuals. And those changes, in my As it turned out, I didn’t do a very good job. I didn’t know opinion, have strengthened the play substantially. much about WordPerfect and didn’t know, for example, that For example, originally, the play was set in an unspecified one of the WordPerfect chief executives was well-known for city with a sizeable LDS population. I changed it to St. George, playing tennis. I’d written a tennis-playing executive into the which improved the play tremendously. Since much of the world of my fictional company, and that parallel, understand- play deals with issues relating to nuclear testing, it makes sense ably, bothered people who knew the real man. thematically to locate it in southern Utah. Originally, the com- I reiterate: I did not want to write a play attacking specific pany’s name was Datafine. I now think that that’s a dumb name individuals in Utah Valley. I wanted to write a play about lay- for a company and that ONTI is much better. And so on. One offs generally. If audiences spent all their time looking for spe- review of the play suggested the changes I was “forced” to cific parallels to specific contemporary events and individuals, make weakened the play significantly. With the benefit of sev- the impact of the play would be, I thought, lessened. eral years’ hindsight, I respectfully disagree. Rumor Two: I was threatened with loss of my employment if I What you are reading in SUNSTONE is Gadianton, in more- didn’t re-write the play. I was never threatened by anyone. The or-less the version produced at BYU, and the one I would love atmosphere in all meetings with members of the administra- to see produced again. This is the play I’m sending to pro- tion was sometimes tense, but also cordial, respectful, and ducers and agents. If another, better version of it exists any- forthright. The administration was understandably concerned where, I’d have sent that to SUNSTONE instead of this. that the play would be seen as a direct personal attack on spe- cific, well-known members of the community. I shared those NE FINAL COMMENT. I am a playwright, and I am concerns, although I also wanted to defend my play. Jim also a teacher of writing at BYU. I am a professor, Gordon did inform me, however, that if the play weren’t re- O drawing a salary paid in part from Church tithing written, it could not be produced at BYU. In retrospect, I be- funds, but I am also an artist. Whenever one talks about a con- lieve that this was a reasonable position for the university to flict between an individual and an institution, there exists an take. unavoidable temptation to structure the story in melodramatic I don’t pretend these meetings were easy for me or for terms, pitting the courageous artist against the unfeeling cen- anyone else in the room. On the contrary, I was angry, hurt, of- sors within the corporate monolith. Ironically, that’s also the fended. Strong opinions were strongly, if respectfully, ex- story told in the play itself, with Bishop Todd alone against the pressed, by me and by others. At the time of these meetings, I Gadianton-ized world of ONTI. had not yet been granted tenure at BYU, and I was genuinely But the story of Gadianton at BYU, the play and the produc- afraid the Gadianton controversy would complicate my tenure tion, is, I think, more complex. I have come to see it, at any process. rate, in more nuanced terms. My play talks about layoffs in an But all of us, Jim Gordon and Bruce Christensen and Eric LDS context and, for the most part, non-Mormons have liked it Fielding and I, worked through it. We found common ground. better than Mormons have. I was asked to make changes that I I do not today feel any animosity towards anyone involved in initially resisted, and the play improved as a result. And the the process. Since the 1997 production of Gadianton, I have story of our meetings in November and December of 1996 ul- had the opportunity to work closely with some of the very timately became, not a story about bureaucrats imposing their people my play was supposed to be attacking. There are will on an artist, but a story of reasonable people of good will former top executives of WordPerfect whom I regard as close who disagreed strongly about an important issue, but who personal friends. Jim Gordon is a friend of mine. So is Eric struggled to find a solution all could live with. And the play Fielding, and so is Bruce Christensen (both of whom fought was re-written, and the production took place, and I am pre- like tigers for the play). I do believe layoffs are, in most cases, sumptuous enough to think that some good, or perhaps even a morally suspect. That’s why I wrote the play—to make that great deal of good, came of it. case. But I did not and do not want to attack anyone person- ally. To comment on Gadianton or this essay, or to read comments by Rumor Three: The re-writes I was forced to make weakened the others, please visit our website:
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MISSION LEGACY He would respond with gratitude for home and family and would express trepidation about what lay ahead. He usually looked nervous and a little pale. At the open house that followed the farewell, family members and friends gave generous checks to help LEARNING TO BREATHE EASIER: with mission expenses. All in all, it was a sort of Mormon equivalent to a Jewish bar MY SOUTH AFRICAN MISSION, mitzvah. While farewells were essentially family 1964–1966 events, homecomings belonged to the mis- sionary—it was his hour in the sun. He told By Douglas P. Ridge funny stories about other missionaries, up- lifting, spirit-filled stories about converts, and amazing stories about strange, foreign lands. He was more confident and grown-up than at the farewell. He talked about “the best two years of his life” and looked sun- tanned and fit. As we approached the appropriate age, my friends and I spoke about mission plans in the same way we spoke about girls, cars, sports, and planning for college. I think I was typical in hoping to find solace for ado- lescent anxieties over identity and place in that emotional kind of spirituality evident in missionary homecomings. Of course, even at this time, it wasn’t cool to be too religious. A putdown reserved for the overly righteous was, “Oh, he’s such a spirit-chel giant!” Nevertheless, mission plans and religious commitment were important to all of us. I don’t really know what it was like for Mormon girls of my age who lived in this mission-drenched culture, but it must have been a critical part of their religious worlds as well. They were regularly admonished that From the printed program for Elder Ridge’s missionary farewell they could only give themselves to an R.M.— returned missionary. So, as I approached Missionary farewells were announced in the local mission age, I was keenly aware that a mis- sion changed one’s status: girls, male peers, paper. Relatives told revealing stories about the and authority figures looked at R.M.s differ- ently. Social standing, spirituality, and sexu- missionary. He responded with gratitude for home ality were all linked to going on a mission. In and family, expressing trepidation about what lay our culture, failure to go represented a failure of faith and manhood. Aware of these con- ahead. Family and friends gave generous checks. It nections, I occasionally doubted my motiva- was the Mormon equivalent to a Jewish bar mitzvah. tions as I approached the time to decide about going. But I hoped that a commitment to serving others and my genuine convic- tions, such as they were, at least partially ac- NLIKE THOSE OF my father’s who grew up with me in Provo in the 1950’s counted for my interest. generation, whom the Depression and 60’s, saw going on a mission simply as Atypically, I think, my parents were the U and World War II often forced to the thing to do. At that time, missionary ones who held some reservations about my forego mission plans, I, along with those farewells and homecomings were regular, going. They were concerned about some of important events. Farewells were announced the reports from the “mission field.” DOUGLAS P. RIDGE is professor of chemistry at in the local paper, and the services had Missionaries were under pressure to run up the University of Delaware. A early version of printed programs featuring a photoengraved numbers of baptisms through programs my this essay was presented at the 1988 Washington picture of the missionary. Mom and Dad and parents thought irresponsible. But they, of D.C. Sunstone Symposium. He may be contacted maybe a brother or an uncle would tell more course, would—and did—support me in by email at
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FTER high school, I was accepted at I knew I would miss Harvard and my people I encountered one at a time, I learned Harvard University, where I majored friends, who would all graduate before I re- that each of us is unique. I learned that good- A in chemistry. And, in many ways, my turned. It was some comfort that Professor ness and badness abound everywhere and in first two years in Cambridge played a crucial Westheimer would still be there. And I found us all. From missionary companions and role in my decision to serve a mission. After in his implicit concern with injustice and sar- leaders, I learned much about working and my initial terror of living in “the big city” so donic acknowledgement of the power of reli- living with others, and I gained valuable in- far from home, of life without family and gious commitment an assurance of what I sight about the Church as an institution. And friends, and of the imagined possibility of at- had already learned in Cambridge: religious tacks on my Mormon faith and culture, I commitment and Harvardian skepticism are learned to enjoy being a novelty. I found that not only compatible, but can reinforce one my roommates and friends were curious and another. This fact also helped me to decide to interested in me and my unusual religion. accept the mission call. S I APPROACHED The small LDS student community was also A close and supportive. Their activity and com- OLLOWING my farewell and the MISSION AGE, I WAS KEENLY mitment made the Church seem more intel- good-byes to my family and girl- lectually respectable. Their open, free friend, I joined two hundred other F AWARE THAT A MISSION questioning of teachings and practices made prospective missionaries for an intense, me feel more comfortable about my own memorable week in the mission home in Salt questions. When the bishop approached me, Lake City. We were instructed by General CHANGED ONE’S STATUS: I was ready to set my aside doubts and fears Authorities, former mission presidents, and and initiate the procedures required for me others. They each taught, counseled, ha- GIRLS, MALE PEERS, AND to go. rangued, and generally imbued us with the My mission call came while I was in importance of what we were about to do, AUTHORITY FIGURES Cambridge. I had alerted my roommates, one with the importance of keeping the mission Jewish, and the other Baptist, the son of a rules, and especially with the importance of LOOKED AT RETURNED minister, that a letter from 47 East South staying away from girls. Two statements that Temple, Salt Lake City, was coming which speakers attributed to General Authorities would shape my destiny for the next two still stand out: “I would rather my son come MISSIONARIES DIFFERENTLY. years. It was on the mantel when I returned home in a pine box than disgraced,” and from class one day, and they stood anxiously “You will be no more successful in life than SOCIAL STANDING, by while I opened it. I had been called to you are as a missionary.” South Africa! In a spirit of great friendship I tried to dismiss such statements as hy- SPIRITUALITY, and support, for the next few weeks, perbole intended to motivate, but they left everyone in the dorm greeted me with me feeling abandoned and offended. A more AND SEXUALITY WERE “South Where?” Then, late one night, they all encouraging speaker was Elder S. Dilworth surprised me with a farewell party. They gave Young of the First Council of Seventy who ALL LINKED TO GOING me a pen and pencil set because I was well- said mission rules were tantamount to known to lose track of my writing instru- putting young people in prison and that the ON A MISSION. ments. I found the set inside a series of imposition of such rules would be “criminal” boxes, each containing a smaller box with for any purpose other than for doing the each bearing the question “South Where?” Lord’s work. I also found Elder Marion D. IN OUR CULTURE, The support of these friends and roommates Hanks’ blessing in setting me apart as a mis- was so helpful in my deciding to go on a mis- sionary to be very encouraging. He empha- FAILURE TO GO sion and is a prized memory. sized the importance of making friends for Another bright memory from my pre- the Church and said nothing about baptizing REPRESENTED A mission days is of the interview with my aca- many. demic advisor before I left. Professor Frank The best advice of all, however, was FAILURE OF FAITH Westheimer was a noted organic chemist, President Hugh B. Brown’s admonition that winner of numerous awards, former presi- we keep “a sense of humor—a sense of the AND MANHOOD. dent of the American Chemical Society, and a Lord’s support.” He juxtaposed the two as if rather intimidating person. I told him I to him they were somehow the same. That would like to go on leave for two years to week at the mission home was my most con- serve a mission for my church. He said he centrated exposure ever to the leadership of thought my career might survive this inter- the Church. I have felt ever since that I saw the effects of political oppression in the ruption. He asked what I would do and President Brown’s advice to novice mission- lives of both the privileged and oppressed. where I was going. When I said I was going aries also outlines the most constructive re- In Provo, steeped in Mormon culture, I to South Africa, he said, “Well, from what I sponse to Church leadership. think my youthful religious convictions had have read of the South African Dutch The initial impact of my experience in been partly propped up by believing that Reformed Church, you would be doing those South Africa was being immersed with thou- Mormons were better than everyone else. people a favor if you persuaded them to be- sands of people in a culture remarkably sim- This idea had practically blinded me to the lieve in Baal.” ilar to yet vastly different from my own. From possibility of Mormon faults and gave me a
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perverse reason to halfway rejoice in the wickedness and misery of non-Mormons. This attitude was perhaps inadvertently rein- forced by talks in missionary homecomings, in General Conference, and elsewhere that represented Church membership as the key difference between happiness and misery. It had contributed to my fears as I considered leaving Provo for Cambridge. What if I dis- covered many happy, useful, generous non- members whose lives were not obviously
P RESIDENT HUGH B. BROWN’S Douglas P. Ridge at his desk in Winthrop House, Harvard, 1963 I learned in Cambridge that religious commitment ADVICE WAS and Harvardian skepticism are not only compatible, THE BEST: but can reinforce one another.
KEEP “A SENSE OF ested in our message, but they all gathered highway to get back home to teach his around and made us feel like honored guests. Sunday School class and to do his branch HUMOR—A SENSE They treated one another with remarkable teaching. Then, early Monday morning, he respect and warmth, with the children hap- would make the return trip along the same OF THE LORD’S pily making place for the elderly grandpar- perilous route to get back to classes. These ents. We presented our message, and all Carletonville Saints helped free me from an SUPPORT.” listened attentively. We came away unsuc- obligation to believe that finding the gospel cessful as missionaries, for we had not stimu- necessarily means health, prosperity and lated interest in further contact. But happiness—and my faith was strengthened HE JUXTAPOSED somehow we were strengthened in our faith. as a result. Through such encounters, the prop of From my missionary companions, I THE TWO AS IF Mormon moral superiority faded for me. Yet, learned many simple life lessons such as the oddly enough, my faith seemed stronger. importance of washing out the bathtub when TO HIM you are through, how to repair your own Y first assignment was to shoes, how to do the Twist, and how to keep THEY WERE Carletonville, a little mining town your sense of humor in the face of loneliness, M in the western Transvaal. The boredom, and rejection. One companion, an SOMEHOW Saints in the little branch there helped me to older missionary from South Africa, and I understand that rather than automatically were tracting in a community that was al- THE SAME. turning misery to happiness, finding the most entirely uninterested in, if not hostile gospel is frequently the beginning of strug- to, Mormonism. It was Elder deWet’s door. gles and pain. They struggled to hold meet- We knocked. A woman opened the door, and missing something? Would my faith survive? ings in a member’s living room, to raise before Elder deWet could speak, she began As it turned out, in both Cambridge and money for a little building, to keep a mis- berating us as members of a cult. She said the South Africa, I found many such non-mem- sionary in the field, and to deal with suspi- bible says we should not go from house to bers whose happiness, joyful devotion to ser- cion, hostility, and rejection from friends and house. She told us we should get an honest vice, and love of life bespoke no obvious loved ones who did not understand their job and then followed us to the front gate, all need for Church membership. Most in new faith. Yet their struggle bred, if not hap- the while instructing us loudly and angrily Cambridge were gifted and/or privileged. piness, then a kind of resourceful determina- on our various other sins and deficiencies. Most in South Africa, however, lived in tion that had something quite joyful about it. She stormed back up the walk and slammed modest circumstances and had no special One example I will always remember is the front door behind her. I was thoroughly abilities. At the end of a long, dusty day of Andy, who at the time was a recent convert. rattled, but Elder deWet paused a moment, tracting in an unreceptive neighborhood of He was studying engineering at a university turned, and said, “Elder, do you think I an unreceptive town, we came to one little in Johannesburg and loved what the gospel should have tried to sell her a Book of brick home by the railroad tracks. It housed brought to his life. Every Sunday morning, Mormon?” a dozen members of a family, including three he would get up at five and ride his bicycle One thing that troubled me on my mis- generations. None were particularly inter- fifty miles on a narrow, two-lane, high-speed sion was the influence of personal ambition
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dent that occurred in the mission home in Johannesburg when he first arrived. We were all about to sit down to dinner together, when my remarkable mission president with the remarkable name of J. Golden Snow in- sisted that Elder Petersen sit at the head of the table. Elder Petersen said he couldn’t do that: “This is your home, President Snow. You should sit at the head of the table.” President Snow demurred. Elder Petersen insisted. Finally, Sister Emma Marr Petersen,
S ANCTIFICATION Jan preparing the fire for our rooming house, Kroonstadt, Cape Province, 1965 COMES BIT BY BIT, Given all of the limits placed on him by apartheid, BUT IT DOES COME. Jan’s only tool for trying to shape his own fate was his unfailing cheerfulness and good nature. FOR ME, THIS
in the institutional Church. Most of us in the He wept like a child all the way there. It was REALIZATION IS THE mission field aspired, to some degree, to as if he grieved for a loved one. He helped higher office. Prestige, power, privilege, a strengthen my conviction that something KEY TO HELPING ME sense of acceptance, and a sure and visible more than ambition and competition drives stamp of righteousness and success came missionary work. UNDERSTAND HOW with the call to be a district leader, zone The visit of Elder Mark E. Petersen to the leader, or the second counselor in the mis- mission also proved particularly instructive SKEPTICISM STRENGTHENS sion presidency. Many missionaries hungered to me. My companion and I drove him and worked for such ego-strokes. They were around the mission, and he candidly ex- FAITH AND FEEDS crushed when these didn’t come and were pressed his views about his colleagues on the elated when they did. I was never very com- Council of the Twelve and about a number of fortable with these feelings. Personal ambi- decisions and policies that had been made in PROGRESS, AND IT tion, it seemed to me, does not belong in the recent years. He thought the Church Church. building committee had been making a ALSO HELPS ME CONNECT On the other hand, in our culture, com- number of expensive mistakes. In his view, petitiveness and personal ambition seem to building a stake center to serve thirty people A SENSE OF HUMOR TO A be a male birthright and obligation. They are in President McKay’s ancestral Welsh home- clearly important in the functioning of the town was an outrageous attempt at flattery. SENSE OF THE priesthood. I think most of us carry around He thought the youth athletic programs used in some corner of our minds a Church re- to make contacts and generate large numbers LORD’S SUPPORT. sume, a list of callings, honors, and services of baptisms had been serious errors in judg- performed that we turn to from time to time ment. Very few young people baptized had for personal validation. In fact, it is tempting stayed active in the Church, and missionaries to look at the structure of our male priest- and members had been demoralized as a re- hood organizations as a rather clever way to sult. Elder Petersen’s wife, said, “Mark, you had turn male ambition into an inducement to do His visit gave me my first view of the give better sit down or we’ll never get any dinner.” the Lord’s work. Such a view finds a sort of and take that must prevail in the Church’s He obeyed, of course, and after we were all spiritual Darwinism at work, complete with leading councils. What was comforting to seated, he turned to the mission president “trickle-down” benefits for women. me, however, was that rather than despairing and said, “Well, President Snow, I guess we One exception to this general rule was over such a situation, Elder Petersen worked now know who really runs the Church.” Elder Skelton, a missionary who was not with it to make the Church effective in the called to leadership positions. For his entire best way he could. He also seemed to sub- OUTH AFRICA consisted of two na- mission, he knocked on doors and got scribe to President Brown’s view of the neces- tions living in the same land. This fact around on a bicycle. At the end of his mis- sity of maintaining a sense of humor while S was very evident on Johannesburg sion, he asked to stay in his area until the last doing the Lord’s work. streets where one might see a Rolls Royce ne- possible minute. My companion and I Elder Petersen’s practical, unpretentious gotiating to pass a mule-drawn cart. One picked him up and took him to the airport. view of leadership is exemplified in an inci- could also see a bare-breasted mother with
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nose and ear rings nursing her baby on the mission, we landed first in Nairobi in Kenya. Elder and Sister Mark Petersen as they step sidewalk in the shade of a very modern, con- I walked down the steps from the airplane to out of an airplane at Jan Smuts airport, wel- crete and steel skyscraper. where a young woman in a neat, blue civil comed by two hundred of the faithful who Missionaries in South Africa usually service uniform checked passports. She was had come at 6:00 a.m. to greet the first stayed in boarding houses. Ours in black. The sudden realization that here was a apostle in more than a decade to visit South Kroonstadt in the Orange Free State had a black person dealing with white people as a Africa. Tired from their long trip and a little large, wood-fired water heater. Every day, civil authority had a remarkable effect on me, embarrassed by all the attention, the Jan, a black man of fifty, sixty, or maybe sev- and I will always remember that moment. It Petersens nevertheless enthusiastically take enty, got up at 4:30 a.m. and rode his bicycle felt as though a knot somewhere inside me part in singing “We Thank Thee, O God, for four miles from the township where he was relaxed, and suddenly it was easier to a Prophet,” happy to join the South African permitted to live and began his day of do- breathe. Saints as fellow citizens in the household of mestic chores by building a fire for the water Twelve years later, I was driving home God. heater so we could have hot showers. from work half-listening to the news on the From my present age and vantage point as Wherever he went, Jan had to have a pass radio. The newsman announced that a husband, father, and active Church with him that told where he was permitted to President Spencer W. Kimball and the First member, my mission memories are suffused be and when he was permitted to be there. I Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of with light. Perhaps it is a remnant of the don’t know Jan’s last name. In South Africa, Latter-day Saints had issued a statement white, transparent sunlight that illuminates whites never seemed to address blacks by saying that all worthy males, including the huge, pure blue sky and rolling grass- their last names. Jan’s home was small with a blacks, were now eligible to hold the priest- lands of the western Transvaal. Perhaps it is dirt floor and outdoor toilet. The jobs he and hood. I was so shocked I had to pull off the simply the light of longing for my lost youth. his family could aspire to were prescribed by road. I found myself talking to the radio: Or perhaps it signifies a trace of something law. He could not vote. His educational op- “Wait a minute, say that again. . . .” I could divine, a precious gift to balance my skepti- portunities were sharply limited. His only not believe what I had heard. When I got cism. tool for trying to shape his own fate was his home, I sat by the radio benumbed, waiting To comment or read comments by others, unfailing cheerfulness and good nature. for the next edition of the news. When the visit
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LIGHTER MINDS bishop my occasional French-kissing episodes in order to be worthy of a mission?; and (6) How can I be funnier on dates? After about two hours of shivering and THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF pondering over these six questions, I decided I had studied these problems out in my own mind, and I readied myself for some inspira- MORMON HUMOR tion. At that moment, I was interrupted by an unseen presence, an invisible, horrifying power, something my years in Sunday School and seminary hadn’t adequately pre- By Edgar C. Snow, Jr. pared me for: namely, a raging, out-of-tune rhythm guitar intro to “You Really Got Me” played by the band from spirit prison trapped in a garage somewhere on the moun- tain below me. They played it about 750 times, the beginning, that is, which was un- derstandable: they really needed the practice. I was beginning to think I had been called to this mountain to pray not for myself, but for them. But I digress. I quickly came down from that mountain, and even though I had not experienced an epiphany or revelation like Moses—or even prayed, for that matter—I at least knew two things: (1) I was going to make an appointment with my bishop, and (2) Mormon humor must be governed by certain immutable laws then unknown to me. I am happy to say today that I have since learned much more about both French-kissing and the laws of humor. What I’ve learned about humor I’ve con- densed into what I call the “Ten Commandments of Mormon Humor.” What I’ve learned about French-kissing will have to wait. Rest assured, that essay will be by necessity brief.
GUSTAVE DORE (WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM ED SNOW AND NATHAN) THE TEN COMMANDMENTS And Edgar Turned, and went down from Y Mount, and the two tables containing the OF MORMON HUMOR immutable laws governing Mormon humor were in his hand . . . .
NE SATURDAY AFTERNOON in sat there, I realized I really didn’t need to COMMANDMENT NO. 1: THOU SHALT the fall of 1978, my freshman year climb all the way up to that whitewashed “Y,” BE MORMON. O at BYU, I climbed up Provo’s “Y” even though initially I had thought it sym- mountain to seek illumination. I walked all bolic of my questioning spirit. No, sitting on The old writer’s adage, “Write about what the way from Helaman Halls to the foot of that rock became sufficiently Sinai-like for you know,” holds true for humorists as well. the mountain, climbed up about a quarter of my purposes, and a lot less trouble. Everyone nods in reverence to this truism, as the way toward the “Y” and decided to rest For more than an hour, I pondered many if some Einstein of creative writing theory on a rock about 100 yards away from the last questions, trying to get my life in order: (1) had discovered it after years of experimenta- house on the way up. I wore a short-sleeved Should I go to medical school someday?; (2) tion. But, you know, now that I think about shirt, unprepared for the cool afternoon. As I How can I get out of my calculus for math it, it’s kind of idiotic. Have you ever written majors and chemistry for chemistry majors about something you don’t know about? I classes even though the drop date has can think of only one exception to this rule, EDGAR C. SNOW, JR. is a passed?; (3) If I can’t drop the calculus and and it happens to be what I will write about partner in an international law chemistry classes, what other professions French-kissing. firm. He is married and at least his might I consider?; (4) Is French-kissing Of course this first commandment is for three children laugh at his jokes. wrong?; (5) If so, do I have to confess to my the sake of our non-Mormon acquaintances
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who might wish to become Mormon hu- when one of his friend’s kids demanded that and other very intelligent outlets: morists. My friends, there are many ways for this father draw some pictures on the back of Only When I Laugh and Madame Ridiculous you to become a Mormon. I recommend the the program during sacrament meeting. This & Lady Sublime, by Elouise Bell, the queen of following convenient method. loving father dutifully sketched some people, Mormon Humor. Okay, okay, so it’s a small Find a Mormon church. Go there on the and then tried to get his son to color the pic- realm, but so! first Sunday of the month, around 8:30 A.M. tures so that he could use the remaining fif- Sunday of the Living Dead, Wake Me for the Find the big room without a basketball hoop. teen minutes to dutifully prepare his Gospel Resurrection, and Pat and Kirby Go to Hell, by Sit down in the back. Be sure to wear long Doctrine lesson. But his son wasn’t satisfied Robert Kirby, Mormon humor’s crown pants or a dress (hint: pants for men; dress with the drawings and tapped his dad repeat- prince, illustrated by Pat Bagley, its royal car- for women). Wait until a lot of families start edly on the shoulder trying to get his atten- icaturist. Their books are specially designed stacking into the pews and three beardless tion. to fit into your scripture tote bag, and funny men, each in a white shirt, tie, and jacket, sit His son whispering: “Dad.” as hell—which may be your destination if on the stand and some organ music begins. “Shhhhh, Son. I need to work on my you keep reading his stuff, but you’ll be in Observe the ensuing proceedings. When one lesson.” good company. of the whited-shirted, jacketed, beardless “But, Dad.” Special Living Lessons for Relief Society men wakes up, walks to the microphone, and “SHHH.” Sisters by Sister Fonda Ala Mode, by Laurie says, “We will now turn the time over to “Daddy.” Mecham Johnson. Mrs. Malaprop’s temple members of the congregation for the bearing Then, at a moment when the entire con- work has been completed, and she has been of testimonies,” make a break for the podium. gregation was dead quiet between speakers, raised from the dead for one special Relief Graciously allow children and elderly people his son, magnifying his vocal talents: “BUT Society manual. DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT to go in front of you. The proper effect will be DAD, YOU FORGOT TO DRAW HIS AN OFFICIAL CHURCH MANUAL. USE AS ruined if someone sees you elbow a child to PENIS!!?!” SUCH ONLY AT YOUR OWN RISK. get pulpit position, and facing off with a testi- My friend swears this is a true story. Let What’s a Mother to Do?, by Ann Edwards mony-bound blue-haired sister is just asking this little incident be a reminder to stay Cannon. Like Kirby, she’s a funny newspaper for a bloodied nose or kick below the belt. awake in Church, as well as not to teach your columnist, but a little softer around the When the children speak, smile approvingly; children correct anatomical references until edges. Kirby is like a home teacher, Cannon a when the elderly speak, stay awake. When it they are, say, 28 years old. visiting teacher. seems to be your turn, stand at the podium, Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen B. introduce yourself and say, “I don’t know COMMANDMENT NO. 3: THOU SHALT Andelin. I’ve never read it, but it’s supposed much about the Latter-day Saint Church READ A LOT OF MORMON HUMOR to be the finest Mormon satire ever written, (“Mormon Church” is no longer theologically BOOKS. and it’s been recently updated for the new correct. Oh heck! Neither is “Latter-day Saint millennium. I have never seen my mother Church!” Just say “The Church”), but I know I recommend the following reading list laugh so hard as when she read it. what I like [pause here for a chuckle that will and will pass over the temptation to pitch my endear you to any Mormon artists in the con- own book, Of Curious Workmanship: Musings COMMANDMENT NO. 4: THOU SHALT gregation], and I would like to know more.” on Things Mormon, available through HAVE THE GIFT OF HUMOR DISCERN- Return to your seat. Sunstone, Benchmark Books, Amazon.com, MENT. After the meeting, if you survive trampling by the crowd, follow their directions carefully. In your conver- sations, be careful not to say some- thing like, “I want to become a Mormon humorist.” Once you are a Mormon, stay that way. No excommunicated Mormon ever makes a living as a Mormon hu- morist. Well, okay, I guess you can say that for the non-excommuni- cated ones as well.
COMMANDMENT NO. 2: THOU
Family Home Screaming) SHALT STAY AWAKE AT CHURCH.
Although perhaps the hardest commandment to keep, it is the most important to your success. You will find that 95% of your material comes from Church meetings. Here’s an ex- ample: ROBERT KIRBY AND PAT BAGLEY, (From Let’s say you were snoozing in my friend’s ward a couple of years ago
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We Mormons have a lot to laugh about; Mo-HA sponsoring an annual Mormon They are risky not just because they are we just haven’t figured it out yet, or rather, it Humor Festival in Salt Lake City. I’m not rarely funny; they also offend. First, they fre- is that it hasn’t been “translated correctly.” By joking about this one. If anyone is interested, quently offend Mormons. Take George Burns way of example, here are two Mormon please email me. portraying God in the movie Oh God. Since events, one translated, the other left untrans- God had a Word of Wisdom problem, was lated for you to practice at home. COMMANDMENT NO. 6: THOU SHALT short, and was dressed in degrading ’70s at- Event One: Seagulls eat crickets threatening BE SLIGHTLY IRREVERENT, NO MORE, tire, Mormons didn’t warm up to this show. Mormon pioneer crops. NO LESS. Second, making jokes about God might also Translation: The seagull, rightfully so, is offend the Mormon General Authorities permanently nested as a hero in Mormon Deity should be off-limits in Mormon (GAs), which is important not to do if you history because of its act of binging and humor. For example, roadshows involving want to keep the first commandment of purging, and then more binging and God as a supporting character, cartoons in Mormon humor. Finally, jokes about God purging, on crickets to save the Mormon pio- SUNSTONE depicting Jesus, and limericks might offend, well . . . God.. neer crops. These gulls are the Danites of the about the Holy Ghost are very, very risky. Now, in speaking about God, be fore- bird family, literally chewing up and spitting out the enemies of the Kingdom. Yet, there’s a side to this story which has not been prop- erly appreciated. Pardon me for being LAUGHS FOR SALE slightly revisionist, but I’m convinced if this AT THE SUNSTONE MERCANTILE miracle happened today, LDS Social Services would be available to assist these birds in overcoming their eating disorders and fo- cusing on less personally destructive ways to EDGAR C. SNOW, JR. eliminate crickets. Of Curious Workmanship: Musings on Things Mormon . . ., $14.95 $13.45 Event Two: Pigeon completes aerial bom- ELOUISE BELL bardment of missionary flipchart as elders are Madame Ridiculous and Lady Sublime, $14.95 $13.45 teaching an investigator in a park. Only When I Laugh, $9.95 $8.95 Translation: [Insert your own translation]. ROBERT KIRBY AND PAT BAGLEY Pat and Kirby Go to Hell, $9.95 $8.95 COMMANDMENT NO. 5: THOU SHALT Family Home Screaming, $9.95 $8.95 PRACTICE MORMON HUMOR OFTEN. Special Living Lessons, $10.95 $9.85 Sunday of the Living Dead, $8.95 $8.05 Try at little humor at home first; your Wake Me for the Resurrection, $9.95 $8.05 younger children will laugh at anything, es- pecially you, and this builds your sense-of- LAURIE MECHAM JOHNSON humor-esteem. (Don’t try out your comedic Special Living Lessons for Relief Society Sisters, $10.95 $9.85 talents in front of your spouse or teenagers JAMES N. KIMBALL until you’ve gained some confidence.) Next, J. Golden Kimball Stories, $8.95 $8.05 try sprinkling some jokes into your talks and lessons at church. If someone other than you ANN EDWARDS CANNON is to be the butt of your humor, make it a What’s a Mother to Do?, $12.95 $11.65 safe choice: the bishop. Bishops love this CAL GROHDAHL kind of attention, especially in sacrament Freeway to Perfection, Utah and All That Jazz, and Sunday’s meeting talks. A word of caution, however. Foyer $6.95 $6.25 each Although an enormously popular brand of Marketing Precedes the Miracle, $7.95 $7.15 joke, don’t tell jokes during sacrament Utah Sex and Travel Guide, $9.95 $8.95 meeting sermons about the bishop and Relief Society president having an affair. No, this PAUL TOSCANO type of joke should be told only in priest- Music and the Borken Word, $8.95 $8.05 hood quorum meetings, or perhaps Relief ROGER SALAZAR AND MICHAEL WIGHTMAN Society meetings when the bishop and Relief No Man Knows My Pastries, $7.95 $7.15 Society president are out of town. And don’t forget about Mormon activities outside the VIDEOS Church building. These are perfect opportu- Plan 10 from Outer Space, $25.00 $22.50 nities to practice. Think about it. At the can- On the Road with J. Golden Kimball, $19.95 $17.95 nery you have a captive audience trapped for He’s Not My Companion/Defiance, $16.95 $15.25 several hours! Take advantage of it. Practice, practice, practice. You might also find it helpful to join the To order: Visit
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A test for this last commandment of Mormon humor might be whether God himself would slap his own knee when he heard your joke. (And this is entirely doctrinal since we Mormons believe in a God who actually has knees.)
warned that in some circles, especially in just joked about). I recommend the use of in- used to take them aside and say, “Don’t take southern Utah, there is also some risk in direction in the presentation of something yourself too darn seriously”). telling jokes about Adam, but we don’t have that might appear vulgar. At least don’t use time to explore that right now. the common word to describe something so COMMANDMENT NO. 10: THOU SHALT Temple ordinances should also be off- common; use a lesser-known cousin. People BE FUNNY. limits, perhaps with a limited exception or will appreciate knowing that you’re trying to two. For instance, the general topic of work be careful. But the bottom line is, if it’s really In formulating this commandment, I was for the dead seems okay. To my knowledge, funny, your audience will be so magnani- tempted to say “funny as hell” or “damn Orson Scott Card has never gotten into mous you won’t even need to ask for forgive- funny,” although neither of these statements is trouble for suggesting that work for the dead ness. translated correctly. “Funny as outer dark- is an important Latter-day work performed ness” or “exaltation-impaired funny” would by many Mormons, especially by those who COMMANDMENT NO. 8: THOU SHALT perhaps be more theologically correct. I leave are nearly dead themselves. NOT LAUGH AT (1) OTHER PEOPLE, (2) the translation of these statements to the Jokes about GAs may be made in only the THEIR SPOUSES, (3) THEIR COWS [EVEN reader. Perhaps the test for this last command- following limited circumstances: (1) the joke IF YOU CAN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE ment of Mormon humor should be whether about the GA had previously been told by BETWEEN (2) AND (3)], (4) THEIR CHIL- God himself would slap his own knee when that GA on himself, or (2) one GA told the DREN, OR (5) THEIR DOMESTIC HELP. he heard your attempt at humor. (And this is joke about another GA, and the GA who told HOWEVER, THOU SHALT LAUGH AT entirely doctrinal since we Mormons believe the joke is still a GA, or the GA who was the THEIR JOKES. in a God who actually has knees.) subject of the joke is deceased. In general, though, examples of humor As Elvis said, quoting Nietzsche, I believe, N conclusion, I might as well tie up a expressed by GAs should be repeated as “Don’t be cruel.” Derision should not be a loose end and tell you about my meeting often as possible, to be followed by admon- part of Mormon humor. This was a lesson my I with my bishop concerning French- ishing your audience to “Follow the mother always taught me as she quoted, I kissing. He was very cordial and sat next to Brethren.” think, David O. McKay: “Fun isn’t fun unless me instead of behind his imposing desk. I it’s fun for everyone.” I suggest if you must asked him why it was called “French-kissing” COMMANDMENT NO. 7: THOU SHALT laugh at others, at least, out of respect, do it anyway. He said it was like the term “French- NOT CURSE, UNLESS QUOTING SCRIP- behind their back. fries,” and that it had been derived from the TURE OR A GENERAL AUTHORITY. Laughing with someone is always prefer- peculiar French culinary habit of trying to eat able to laughing at them. To tell a joke is anything that is or had been organic. I then I’m a firm believer in “Biblical Cursing,” human, but to laugh at someone else’s joke is asked him if it was morally wrong. He said I that is, using “cuss” words from the bible, but divine. Laughing at others’ jokes is a form of probably shouldn’t do it again, for it was only if the ox is in the mire and you have no the purest love, an act of charity, especially if rather promiscuous outside of the bounds of other choice. And, don’t forget that usage of they are my jokes. And I have a testimony holy matrimony. But, he wasn’t exactly sure if “damn” and “hell” might even lead your con- that you’ll get blessings in heaven for doing it violated the law of chastity or the Word of versation toward legitimate theological dis- that—laughing at my jokes, that is. Wisdom or perhaps both. cussion. I then confided to him my concerns about Remember, if you can’t find the word you COMMANDMENT NO. 9: THOU SHALT not being very funny on dates. “Oh,” he said, need to use in the bible, feel free to quote J. LAUGH AT THYSELF. and laughed. “Oh! You should have told me Golden Kimball as the occasion might re- that at the beginning.” He composed himself quire. Every dispensation has a “J. Golden We can and must laugh at ourselves. For and said: “Yes . . . now I understand. You’re Kimball” for this very reason. You doubt this instance, we are allowed to take our own the one they are talking about. Yes, yes. I’ve doctrinal pronouncement? Read about Peter names in vain. This commandment reminds heard about you. Tell you what . . . I’m going in the New Testament, especially when the me of a story told about President Benson. to make an exception here and advise you if cock crows. He was the J. Golden Kimball of Apparently, after new GAs were set apart, you want to be funny on dates to just keep the meridian of time. President Benson would often take them trying to French-kiss the sisters of our ward. Now what about the use of coarse humor? aside to give them some pointers. At the end They tell me it’s the most hilarious thing While not strictly profanity, it may still offend of the conversation he would say something they’ve ever experienced.” your average Mormon, so take due care in like, “And finally, don’t take yourself too darn handling this kind of hazardous material (or humorously.” (Wait . . . Oh fetch! That’s the To comment or read comments by others, else you may end up stepping in what you wrong story! It was President Kimball who visit
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BOOK REVIEW acts while being filmed. The narrative focus is on the words themselves and the weight of those words in Elizabeth’s account. The novel contains a host of characters, THE CRUEL IRONY OF ORTHODOXY few of whom are clearly defined as individ- uals—most appear like types in a morality play: Elizabeth is “Everyvictim,” Clint hovers RIPTIDE just beyond “Everyabuser,” and only well by Marion Smith into the novel do we learn enough of Laurel Signature Books, 1999 to see her as more than “Everygrandma” with a gun. Other characters seem less like literary 191 pages, $14.95 creations and more like figures in a news story. This lack of nuance in the characters is a weakness if one evaluates this work only by the standards of contemporary psychological fiction. But certainly there are other valid cri- Reviewed by Holly Welker teria by which to judge this work. In partic- ular, Riptide can be measured against the concerns and voices of women’s memoirs and journals, which it seems to echo. Marion Smith is the co-founder and What happens when an abuser former director of the Intermountain Specialized Abuse Treatment Center in Salt well versed in Mormon Lake City. One of her goals may be to drama- tize stories of abuse in “good Mormon fami- understandings turns faith lies” that she has heard through her work. Another goal may be to raise questions about and trust into tools for evil? the Church, its denial of culpability, respon- sibility, and of the abuse itself, as well as the What happens when a faithful denial the Church seemingly seeks to culti- vate in its members. Laurel and her husband grandmother discovers that evil? Duncan discuss at length “the cruel irony of this orthodoxy” they subscribed to for so long: that if you do as the Church tells you, MAGINE THAT THE old woman in “the word,” the questions that arise when you will be protected from evil. Ultimately Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment kills those who believe in that word discover it is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day I Raskolnikov before he even dreams of false, and the options for action that remain Saints—like many other churches—is un- killing her. Imagine that she isn’t a money- when one is forced to live without that word. able and unwilling to help its members deal lender this time, and he’s not a poor intellec- This morality play opens with the with profound trauma and evil if doing so tual. Instead, she is 63-year-old Laurel Greer, murder: Laurel waits for Clint in the back threatens its own authority. After all, institu- wife of a wealthy Salt Lake City investment seat of his car, pulls a gun, convinces him to tions don’t become institutions by exposing banker. He is 30-something Clint, a suc- drive to a secluded road, and blows his and exploring their inadequacies. cessful lawyer and a counselor in a bishopric. brains out. In a second car, she then drives to Even people who think they are sensitive Money isn’t at stake. At stake is the fact that Palm Springs to meet her husband. The time to the crimes committed and punishments Clint, Laurel’s son-in-law, raped and sodom- on the road affords her the opportunity to re- meted out by an abuser can miss the most ized his wife’s two youngest sisters, his own flect on Clint’s crimes and her own. She pon- obvious manipulations, sometimes for years, three children, his nieces, and any other ders very weighty questions of good, evil, until something wakes them up. Riptide is a child he could get his hands on. Further, complicity, culpability, damnation, and re- wake-up call. I couldn’t put it down; I read it Clint told his victims in language they recog- demption, and although Laurel seems at in one sitting, and after I finished, I couldn’t nized from Sunday School as authoritative times to be a mouthpiece for the author’s stop thinking about it. I reflected again and and “true” that it was God’s will for him to ideas, it is her courageous pondering that again on how Clint and his cohorts strangle a teach them about procreation, because in gives this work its substance and worth. kitten in front of a three-year-old and tell her Heavenly Father’s plan they would some day Despite its billing on the back cover as a God will want her to die and they will have have to be mommies and daddies, and in psychodrama, this is not a novel exploring a to kill her if she ever reveals their secrets. The order to prepare they needed to have particular character’s psyche. For instance, idea that vows of silence can be extracted someone help their bodies stretch and learn. we get very little of Laurel’s internal reactions from people in the name of righteousness has This is the scenario of Marion Smith’s when Elizabeth, her seven-year-old grand- thoroughly permeated the Church, almost novel, Riptide, a philosophical reflection on daughter, first describes the “baby parties from its inception. and baby videos,” the gatherings at which Although Smith does not make explicit HOLLY WELKER recently completed a Ph.D. in Clint and other adults use treats and Primary the connection between Clint’s rhetoric and English literature from the University of Iowa. songs to coerce the children to perform sex LDS ceremonies and history of oath-taking,
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Riptide is nonetheless an exploration of how BOOK REVIEW such vows can be exploited. My question is whether anyone should feel obligated to keep a promise extracted under such coer- cion. Out of loyalty to the idea that promises BETWEEN HEAVEN AND EARTH matter, I have kept many silences through the years, but I wonder now if such oaths should be binding. The fact that Riptide has FALLING TOWARD HEAVEN prompted these questions and insights is an by John Bennion indication to me that the novel has done its Signature Books, 2000 work. Riptide should be appreciated by anyone interested in the intersections of 312 pages, $19.95 faith, betrayal, truth, evil, and agency.
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How should LDS society deal with sexual abuse? Is it wrong for a woman to use the priesthood? What does it EMMETT DEEP truly mean to believe? Bennion’s WITHIN ETERNITY characters may not have definite Nothing hurt worse than the fear, answers, but they do point in not the fists, not the boots, interesting directions. but it was the fear of being beaten by men who loathed tion or categorization. On one hand, he is me that tortured most. N HIS RECENT novel, John Bennion deeply melancholy, doubting “even his focuses on one of the most compli- doubts of God.” On the other, he is witty, en- Even when they kicked my eye in . . . I cated aspects of Mormon mission life: gaging in coquettish banter with the more nothing hurt worse than the fear; the transition from the outwardly se- liberal Allison. The moral complexities of the the eye caused my legs to twitch, questered and confining world of the mission situations he encounters develop from inter- field to the return home. The novel starts actions with his “apostate” mother and and I couldn’t stop myself, with an indecisive time in Elder Howard Allison. These three characters and their in- Rockwood’s life. His wavering faith carries tertwined relationships are the centerpiece to my legs, then my arms . . . him through almost two years of service in the novel. Of the three, however, the most and in the end, I’m sure it the Texas Houston Mission, but in what is complex and intriguing character is Allison. was this that caused them supposed to be his last area, he meets Bennion characterizes Allison as an ir- Allison, a computer programmer and soccer reverent “lone wolf” who is intent on fol- to put a bullet through my skull . . . player. As a result of their chemistry, his mis- lowing a job offer to work for a software and that didn’t hurt either. sion president transfers him out of Houston company in Alaska. She leaves her intel- to spend his last month elsewhere, worried lectual, sex-therapist boyfriend Eliot and Even dead I see myself, that Rockwood’s affections may get him into invites Howard to go with her. He con- see those who ravaged my muscles. trouble. And they do get him in trouble; in cedes on the condition that she spend a the airport going home, Howard decides to few days in his hometown, Rockwood, a Save me . . . save me . . . I am dead, pursue his feelings and returns to Allison’s fictional Utah ranching community and my body is gone, I am apartment. founded by his ancestors. Rockwood is ahead, and I am long ago, The characters in Falling toward Heaven also home to four of the seven tales in carry the novel. Howard resists easy defini- Bennion’s earlier short-story collection, I am never going to come back, Breeding Leah and Other Stories. This sce- and I am never leaving. ERIC FREEZE is a Ph.D. candidate in creative nario becomes the sounding ground for writing at Ohio University. He may be contacted larger questions about life, love, happi- —WARD KELLEY by email at
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Bennion’s descriptions of the days the BOOK NOTE couple spend in Rockwood are among the funniest and most endearing—from a fervent ride on a creaky chastity bed, to an awkward DOWNWINDERS: Uwanda’s struggles, we gain precious, in- meeting with Howard’s old fiancée, to Allison’s AN ATOMIC TALE sightful looks at the depths of human self- brief stint at the local speakeasy, Bennion by Curtis Oberhansly and Dianne Nelson sacrifice, vulnerability, and strength. We paints a comic picture of Mormonism’s foibles Oberhansly come to glimpse what makes people good or and fixations. But the story doesn’t stop with Black Ledge Press, 2001 evil, but the novel allows us to sort the rea- bucolic representations of LDS idiosyncrasies. 425 pages, $14.95 sons out for ourselves. It does not explicitly The novel explores potent issues of patriarchy, condemn any actions, but we do feel the ar- priesthood, and personal revelation in a Reviewed by M. D. Nelson rogance of those who inflicted mortal psy- changing church. The story is open, honest, chological and physical wounds on fellow and plain-speaking about problems and rela- N 27 JANUARY humans who were just too naive, innocent, tionships and doesn’t offer pat answers to 1951, the atom and trusting. probing questions. Obomb returned The book’s other characters are likewise The relationships between the women in home. Not since 1945, well-drawn and are united by common de- the novel prove to be the most enduring and when the first atomic nominators: the fallout, the Mormonesque complex, asking that we look more closely at bomb had been tested at lifestyle—sometimes abandoned because how people communicate—particularly men Trinity, New Mexico, had fellow Mormons lack compassion and em- and women. The second half of the novel a nuclear weapon been pathy—Communist hatred, war propa- shifts its focus onto Allison and Howard’s exploded over American ganda, and fabricated fear. The writers depict mother. The two discuss a Rockwood male soil. This new place was sex, teen rebelliousness, alcoholism, and ho- propensity toward ownership and control. a dry lakebed directly upwind from the scat- mosexuality in a gentle and caring way, Rockwood’s mother encourages Allison to tered Mormon settlements of southern Utah placing them within a community and geo- keep Howard away from the ranch, to have a and Nevada. For twelve years, the mushroom graphical setting ostensibly devoid of such different, less traditional life. And they do. clouds from more than one hundred atom things. The landscape eerily reflects the char- Howard follows Allison to Alaska to live with bombs rose into the sky, at night or early acters; the canyons and crevices are recogniz- her on her own terms, and he gradually dawn, an eerie glow visible for hundreds of able metaphors for scars which will never go comes to accept that he can’t exert dominion miles. Approximately 800 underground tests away. and control over her. But, even as their rela- followed, continuing to this day, making the This kind of book likely could not have tionship breaks some traditions, it upholds western Shoshone land the most bombed been written until now. We need time to pass others. Howard and Allison feel themselves place on earth. Fifty years later, on 27 before we can approach true understanding pulled toward a nuclear family in which their January 2001, the Utah state legislature, the of any event. Downwinders provides this happiness is tied to a monogamous, interde- governor of Utah, and the mayor of Salt Lake wider perspective yet is also able to transport pendent relationship and a desire for chil- City declared this anniversary a “Day of us back a half-century to a time when patrio- dren. Remembrance” for those who had been sacri- tism and military activities were glorified and As a whole, Falling toward Heaven is a de- ficed in the name of “national security,” those the government could do no wrong, to a time lightful read, one that would appeal to indi- who call themselves “Downwinders.” when a prophetic church kept silent, more viduals all along the spectrum from Dianne Nelson Oberhansly is a past absorbed in its rituals than in protecting its conservative to liberal. A reader looking for winner of the Flannery O’Connor Award for flock from the invisible evil floating into their easy, feel-good Weyland-esque resolutions fiction, and her husband and co-author, lives. We understand the mindset in which will be disappointed. But someone intent on Curtis Oberhansly, is a Utah lawyer and ac- fear of the “enemy” overrode common sense, asking larger questions about life, faith, and tive outdoorsman. Their novel, Downwinders: when nuking one’s own people and causing understanding in Mormon culture will find An Atomic Tale, is set near Dianne’s childhood pigs to suffer in the name of national security plenty to please the palate. Bennion’s style is homestead outside the Utah town of seemed (almost) natural. rich and flavorful, his dialogue and descrip- Motoqua. Their combined real-life experi- Fifty years later, this tale of people who tions crisp and delightful. ences help them bring alive the novel’s char- were simply in the wrong place at the wrong Bennion’s work complicates and adds life acters, events, places, and legal wranglings. time may seem strange or even surrealistically to common “Mormon” issues; he truly They understand the rugged, austere setting. bizarre, yet given the possibility of a new pushes the envelope of several major ideo- They know and love its people. They effort- atomic bomb testing program on the horizon, logical questions: how should LDS society lessly transport readers into the story with Downwinders is a warning, a reminder of the deal with sexual abuse? Is it wrong for a many examples of the dry pioneer humor still fragility of life, the human face of our govern- woman to use the priesthood? What does it typical in that region today. ment’s decisions, and the resulting victimiza- truly mean to believe? The novel’s characters, The story’s main protagonists are a tion which no one dares to call murder. whose lives reflect our own human weak- rancher, Dallas, and his niece Christine, M. D. NELSON lives in Washington D.C. and is nesses and problems, may not have definite whose lives intersect with Uwanda, a colorful director of SERV (Support and Education for answers to these questions, but they do point character whose mother witnessed the tests. Radiation Victims). She may be contacted at to some interesting possibilities. The story follows the lives of Uwanda and
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AN OLIVE LEAF “WE PROCLAIM THE PRESENT GOD”
By Elder James E. Talmage
The Essential James E. Talmage, edited by Notwithstanding the sharp wound of James P. Harris (Signature Books, 1997), is a its sting, I had no unkind thought, but collection of correspondence, sermons, diary rather pity and commiseration for the entries, excerpts from book chapters, and foolish creature. The bee paid for its other items from the writings and teachings stubbornness with its life. of Elder James E. Talmage. This excerpt, As to ourselves and the bee, are we so written before he became an apostle, was exalted that the analogy fails? . . . originally published in the August 1908 Let it not be thought that dread Improvement Era. calamities and dire distresses occur as a direct result of the will and purpose of a T IS ONE OF THE WEAKNESSES loving God. He rejoices not in the an- OF man to question the omnipo- guish and suffering of his children. I tence of God. Human ignorance Having endowed them with the rights of challenges Divine wisdom. The infinitesi- agency and individual freedom, he per- mally small arrays itself against the infi- mits the exercise of this agency even to nitely great. The atom believes itself the the bringing about of suffering and vicis- universe. situde. . . . If the Creator arbitrarily ex- It is my privilege to retire at intervals to empted some of his children from the ills a place of seclusion and rest, in the upper naturally resulting from their acts, he part of a large building, far above the rattle and roar of the city could as well honor and aggrandize others beyond their merits. street. My room is lighted by large windows; and these, when- It is no result of Divine will that people sin, that men follow ever I leave them ajar, afford egress to a variety of winged visi- debauchery and vice. Neither is it God’s will that nations pro- tors of the insect tribe. . . . When I retire to this room after an claim war, and send forth armies and navies to destroy or be absence of several days, I find a number of insects on desk, destroyed. It is the will of God that in such dire contingencies table and floor. Their deaths are evidently due to the dry at- the ordinary course of events, the natural sequence of cause mosphere of the closed room. and effect, be not interfered with. The Almighty is able to turn Three days ago, while I was writing in the room, a wild bee and overturn the results of human acts so as to conduce to from the neighboring hills came to visit me. . . . When I was eventual good. . . . The ill-inspired sinners who crucified the ready to leave, I threw the casement wide, and tried to drive Christ are answerable for their motives and their acts, though the bee to liberty and safety. I pursued the flying creature, vig- the sacrifice on Calvary has proved the world’s redemption. orously striking and swishing with a towel, knowing well that We proclaim the atonement wrought by Jesus Christ, the if it remained in the room it would die. The more I tried to means of salvation provided by the Son of God, the voice of drive it out, the more fiercely did it resist. Its erstwhile peaceful the Lord as heard in this age—the dispensation of the fulness hum became an angry roar; its flight become hostile and of times. This proclamation is to all people; it is the message of threatening. At last it caught me off my guard, and stung my deliverance from sin and its sorrow, the decree of liberty, the hand—the hand that had tried to drive it to safety. Then it charter of freedom. alighted on a carved projection of the ceiling, beyond my reach In olden times the Lord of heaven spoke by word of mouth of aid or injury. to his chosen oracles. We proclaim that he speaks today. Why Today, I returned to the room, and found the shriveled should the dead past be law to the active present? Is the voice corpse of the captive bee on my desk where it had fallen from of God silenced? Is his arm shortened that he cannot reach his the ceiling-point of fancied safety. children? Can he no longer speak to be heard, or move to be To the bee’s short-sighted mind I was a foe. . . .yet, in truth felt? I was its friend, offering a ransom of the life it had forfeited We proclaim the present God, the speaking, moving, active through its own error, striving to drive it in spite of itself from God, the God who recognizes the free agency of his children the prison of death to the open air of liberty. and who holds them accountable for their sins.
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DC01— 001 Journal and Reading Kafka: A Missionary Progress Report No More “Mormon Church?” What’s Going on Here? REBECCA AND NEAL CHANDLER 2001 JAN SHIPPS DC01— 009 DC01— 002 Musings on the Mind-Body Connection A Fresh Look: Favorite Scriptures in Modern Language CAROLYN WHITE SUNSTONE ELBERT PECK DC01— 010 DC01— 003 The “Apostasy” of Joseph Smith and Terry D. Kester Coping with Threats to Self as a Mormon Missionary TERRY D. KESTER SYMPOSIUM MELVYN HAMMARBERG DC01— 011 DC01— 004 Mormon Scouting and Homosexuality: Boy Scouts of America v. Dale WASHINGTON, DC Because “No Bell in Us Tolls”: Imagining a More Explicit Pragmatism in Mormon Thought BRAD HESS DC01— 012 4 - 5 MAY DAN WOTHERSPOON se I Am My Brother’s Keeper the DC01— 005 der ANGELA “BAY” BUCHANAN Or ugh Interfaith Couples: The Effects of Partnered Relationships hro es t DC01— 013 tap NE on Religious Perspectives STO What Mormon Scriptures Say about Homosexuality: A SUN JEFF BARON, LOIS BARON, MICHAEL KESSLER, Statistical and Content Analysis CLAY CHANDLER, BUCKLEY JEPPSON ROBERT OLSEN CASSETTE DC01— 006 DC01— 014 Pillars of My Faith — The African-American Experience Sunstone Magazine: An Appreciation and New Vision TERRI BISHOP, DONNA SAMAROO, OULAHI AMEDEE DAN WOTHERSPOON RECORDINGS DC01— 007 DC01— 015 The First Vision as Out-of-Body Experience and What Does God Look Like? The Role of Visual Image in Belief What That Means about the First Vision JINELLE MONK ROBERT BUSHMAN DC01— 016 DC01— 008 The “T” Word The Walls Left Standing: Notes from My East German KEITH NORMAN
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SW01 — 001 Synchronicity — CAROL LYNN PEARSON SW01 — 015 Is There a New “Lost Generation” of Mormon Scholars? SW01 — 002 Graduate Theological Union: The Birthplace of Sunstone —PANEL —JANET KINCAID SW01 — 016 Nineteenth-Century Religion and Social Movements SW01 — 003 LDS Cosmology as the Dominant Force in Contemporary —BRIAN HARTWELL Theological Epistemology — PANEL SW01 — 017 Helen Mar Whitney as Dreamer and Priestess SW01 — 004 The Development of Anti-Mormon Gay Theology —TODD COMPTON —DAVE COMBE SW01 — 018 Can Thoughtful Mormons Remain Active and Change the SW01 — 006 Missing Hymns— GLENN CORNETT, JANET BRIGHAM RANDS Church?— LEE POULSEN SW01 — 007 The Globe Editorial, The Birth of the Mofemnet, and the Future SW01 — 019 The Welcoming Church: Changes in the RLDS Church of Mormon Feminist Activism— MAXINE HANKS —PANEL SW01 — 008 Should Mormons Celebrate Holy Week? — BOB REES SW01 — 020 New Creationism— DAVID BAILEY SW01 — 009 How Violence in History and Scripture Shape Mormon Culture SW01 — 021 Visionary People: Dream Interpretation and the Modern Church —MARY ELLEN ROBERTSON —ANGELA CAMPBELL SW01 — 010 Mormons and the Machine— KIM MCCALL SW01 — 024 Ecology and LDS Culture— PETER ASHCROFT SW01 — 011 Sunstone Magazine: An Appreciation and New Vision SW01 — 025 Sacred Spaces: Mormon Women’s Faith and Sexuality —DAN WOTHERSPOON —PANEL SW01 — 012 “Tell Eve about Serpent!” A Study of the Effects of Temple SW01 — 026 Shape Note Singing — Mormon Hymns in Their Primitive Participation— JANET KINCAID Versions — JANET BRIGHAM RANDS SW01 — 014 Luncheon Speaker: What’s So Funny about Mormon History?: SW01 — 027 Mormon History as Seen by Four Generations of Women Mirth and Myth — WILL BAGLEY —MARTHA SONNTAG BRADLEY (TWO TAPES) finalcoverREALLY_119C.qxd 7/10/01 3:40 PM Page 1
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