AND PFLAG MOVES INTO THE FUTURE 45 YEARS LATER, PFLAGERS #TAKEONESTEP Building OnaLegacy

#takeonestep restrooms anywhere. her own country, using to travel freely within law-abiding citizen, allow my daughter, a #Equality Act would 07 06 03 ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: for Equality Allies through Straight A Decade ofEngaging for Equality The Ninth AnnualStraight Notes from National #prideelevated # a burden” “Your existence isnot I love you, JD!! DONNASHOWALTER: #lovenotetoself #takeonestep #pflagprovo #lgbtq TM Gala

SUMMER 2017 A LETTER FROM OUR INTERIM EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

Building on PFLAG’s Legacy of Success

We are sending out the PFLAGpole having which we now operate as an organization. and our collective mission better and just celebrated the 45th anniversary of This requires not only building on our more efficiently, especially given our Jeanne Manford’s iconic march by her collective legacy but also taking new limited resources. One big change gay son’s side. I doubt Jeanne realized— and different approaches to reach our coming? A new Executive Director to although I suspect her son Morty did— destination point on the horizon. help build on PFLAG’s legacy of success that she was quietly sparking a revolution and move us into the future. Over the that would help shape so many lives, but “ PFLAG must be as summer, the PFLAG National Board will spark she did. We are so pleased to share begin conducting interviews to select a with you LGBTQ author and historian Eric entrepreneurial as new Executive Director who will write Marcus’ recollection of the moment, and this next chapter in collaboration with his subsequent conversations with Jeanne. possible, adapting, the Board, the staff and, most importantly, In the weeks before that anniversary we pivoting and responding all of you. asked you to join us and #TakeOneStep, to the dynamic times in Many of you, including members of the sharing with us the efforts you were PFLAG National Board and the Regional taking to follow in Jeanne’s footsteps which we now operate Directors Council, have been kind enough and create your own legacy of support. to encourage me to throw my hat into The action culminated on June 28th, as an organization.” the actual anniversary date, and the the Executive Director ring. I want to response was powerful. We have captured To hear more about how the PFLAG share with you all that, for many reasons, just some of the stories and photos we National Board of Directors is creating I did not put my name in the mix for received on social media, but we know this roadmap for the organization’s consideration of the position. Though that so many more steps and efforts future, please read the letter from Susan it was not the right personal path for occurred during this time—more than Thronson on the work of the Strategic me, I remain as committed as ever to the could ever be shared in one short piece in Review Task Force. Another member success of PFLAG, the small-but-mighty a newsletter. June was also Pride month of our Board, Isolda Atayde, has also PFLAG National staff, and to all of you. for so many, which always brings endless written a letter to all of you, sharing how Once a PFLAGer, always a PFLAGer. actions by PFLAGers across the country, she personally is helping PFLAG expand but in typical PFLAG fashion, all of us available resources to ensure access for Thank you, as always, for everything built not only on Jeanne’s legacy, and all who need them. We’re also thrilled to you do. on the legacy of countless pioneers who celebrate the tenth anniversary of the each day took steps to get us to this point launch of our Straight for EqualityTM and create the legacy of tomorrow. There program, a decade’s worth of success at is no doubt that the fight for equality— engaging allies as we all look to expanded and PFLAG—are both at a crossroads strategies to welcome the influx of allies on this journey. turning to PFLAG.

PFLAG must be as entrepreneurial The PFLAG National staff have also Beth Kohm as possible, adapting, pivoting and been examining what we do well and Interim Executive Director, responding to the dynamic times in what we can improve upon to serve you PFLAG National

2 PFLAGpole NOTES FROM NATIONAL Expanding PFLAG’s Impact

This is an exciting time for PFLAG, a moment Therefore, in order to do a deeper dive into We will present our rife with opportunity to move our organization the challenges and identify opportunities for recommendations to the strongly into the future. us to apply that unique value to our mission, board at our July meeting, and then present the The movement is at a critical crossroads, the PFLAG National Board of Directors Strategic Plan to PFLAG with historic advances in national equality created a Task Force, which has embarked members at We Are the giving way to an unprecedented backlash on the process of a Strategic Review. Change, the 2017 National of discriminatory local and state legislation. I am proud to chair this Task Force, and Convention, in October. While LGBTQ youth are receiving more family happy to work alongside my colleagues: support than ever before, there continues to be We look forward to sharing the outcome and a need to advance those support efforts, as well Board President Jean Hodges; Vice President recommended next steps from the Strategic as the education required to move parents and and Regional Directors Council Chair Kathy Plan with you all, so that together we may others further along on that journey. Sadly, as Godwin; Development Committee Chair enter 2018—our 45th anniversary year— evidenced by the backlash mentioned above, Chuck Middleton; board members Peggy with confidence, purpose, excitement, and LGBTQ people continue to experience both Moore and Larry Ryan; Business Advisory a renewed promise and commitment to latent and overt hostility from friends, family, Board member Matt Koehler; and Interim achieving our important and lifesaving goals. co-workers, peers and more. Executive Director Beth Kohm. We’ve also The LGBTQ movement has many organizations engaged nonprofit strategic planning expert that share PFLAG’s vision of a diverse world David LaPiana to facilitate the development where all people are respected, valued, of the plan. His book, The Nonprofit Strategic Susan Thronson and affirmed, but we also know that we Revolution, has provided an excellent template Board Secretary; Chair, Strategic Review bring unique value to the work that we do. for the work at hand. Task Force, PFLAG National

As a member of the board translations of PFLAG National’s revised a part of the Spanish-language translation of PFLAG National, I am publications. Beginning with OUR TRANS team for NCTE’s Injustice at Every Turn. committed to supporting LOVED ONES, and then continuing on with After reviewing the drafts and compiling this wonderful organization’s other beloved publications such as OUR the edits, I make edits based on suggestions, vision of creating a world CHILDREN and BE YOURSELF, I and a consistently checking in with the team to that is truly diverse and team of excellent contributors are working be sure we are capturing the important inclusive. As a fierce together to ensure that families which are nuances of the information we are sharing. advocate for the LGBT primarily Spanish speaking have the same community and especially gender-expansive good access and trusted resources as families By late summer, we know we will have an and transgender children and youth—and that primarily speak English. excellent and informative resource that will as a woman of color of Latinx descent— no doubt help thousands of families just like The process is a lengthy and detailed one: so many I already know. I live that vision in my own life every day. I first sit down and read and re-read the When a close relative of mine came out as trans, publication at hand. I then go line by line If you speak another language fluently I remember how valuable it was to connect to translate, guided not only by the wording and would like to see PFLAG publications with other families and allies of trans kids, and concepts used in the publication but the available to others who speak that language, including members of PFLAG. However, as intent behind them, and how I believe those please contact Director of Communications will be best reflected and shared with Spanish crucial as those connections were, what my Liz Owen via email at [email protected]. All speakers from a variety of cultures and Latinx community needed most—and what I of us at PFLAG National welcome your input backgrounds. My first draft translation then could see was a dire need for other families— to make our resources available as widely goes to a wonderful review team made up of were Spanish-language resources. Beyond as possible, and to help fulfill our shared volunteers from other organizations as well that, we needed resources that were culturally mission of support, education, and advocacy. competent, which reflected our understanding as staff members Diego M. Sanchez and Cesar of the issues and spoke across a great many Hernandez. Each member of the team brings their own understanding of the language, the Spanish-speaking backgrounds, each of which terms used, the LGBTQ community, and more was diverse and different from the next. to their recommended edits. Those edits are Isolda Atayde This is why I am so excited and profoundly then reviewed by me and Diego, who brings Board member; Member, Diversity honored to lead efforts to create new unique insight into this project, having been & Inclusion Committee, PFLAG National

SUMMER 2017 3 COVER STORY

Jeanne Manford — Quiet Revolutionary by Eric Marcus Jeanne Manford was fearless. Or at least that’s what I thought the first time I saw the now iconic photo of PFLAG’s founding mother carrying a homemade sign in the 1972 Christopher Street Liberation Day parade in . Jeanne was a lone middle-aged mom walking alongside her twenty-one-year-old gay son, Morty. Her sign’s message was as no nonsense as the soft-spoken elementary school teacher: “Parents of Gays: Unite in Support for our Children.”

Nearly thirty years ago I had the good for not protecting her son and the other oldest child, Charles, died by suicide in fortune to sit down with Jeanne and protestors. It was published and created 1966. He was twenty-two. Jeanne wasn’t Morty around the Manford dining room a sensation. Soon after, Morty asked his about to lose a second child, not her table in Flushing, Queens to interview mother to march with him in the gay beloved Morty, and not at the hands of them for my LGBT civil rights history . Jeanne said yes, but only anti-gay bigots. I can only imagine how book about how they came to launch an if Morty let her carry a sign that made terrified Jeanne was by that prospect organization for parents of gay people. clear why she was marching. and, consequently, how determined she From Jeanne and Morty I learned that was to protect Morty. what looked like fearlessness was a complex combination of love and anger “ From Jeanne and Looking back on her work as an activist, with a huge dose of fear. I’ll explain. Jeanne didn’t think of herself as a radical Morty I learned that or revolutionary. But others did. Morty When Jeanne learned from teenaged what looked like explained during our 1989 conversation, Morty’s psychologist that Morty was gay, “There was a calendar that somebody Jeanne told me that while she didn’t fully fearlessness was a published, which I picked up over on understand, she loved her son. Period. St. Mark’s Place that next year. For each Her understanding grew as she and her complex combination month it had a picture marking some husband Jules got to know Morty’s of love and anger with occasion. For example, for the month friends, who were all deeply involved in of Mao Zedong’s birthday, there was the new wave of post-Stonewall militant a huge dose of fear.” a picture of Mao. There was a picture gay activism. of Martin Luther King, Jr., during this birthday month. And for June, guess But it wasn’t until Morty was beaten to a The transformative process that turned who the calendar girl was?” pulp at a Midtown Manhattan protest in Jeanne into a front-and-center activist April 1972 that Jeanne felt compelled to was described by the late Frank Kameny— From the bashful, half-embarrassed take a very public stand. “I was furious,” who led the first gay rights protests in smile that quickly spread across Jeanne’s Jeanne recalled. “I’m not the type of front of the White House back in 1965— face, there was no need for me to guess. person who belonged to organizations. as being “radicalized.” For Jeanne it Jeanne picked up the thread: “Before I never tried to do anything. But I wasn’t was the mortal threat to her child’s life Morty turned to June, I said, ‘This is not going to let anybody walk over Morty.” that radicalized her. But I only learned a true revolutionary calendar unless So Jeanne wrote a letter to the New York recently, from Jeanne’s daughter there is something about the gay march— Post (then a liberal newspaper) calling Suzanne, that there was yet another about gays—for the month of June.’ And the New York Police Department to task layer to what motivated Jeanne. Her then when I turned the page, there was

4 PFLAGpole my picture. The irony, of course, is that I considered myself such a traditional person. I didn’t even cross the street against the light.” That’s not quite true. Toward the end of our time together, Jeanne told me another story that strongly suggested her self image hadn’t yet caught up with the person she’d become. It’s a story that’s left an indelible picture in my mind’s eye that’s even more emblematic of who Jeanne was than the iconic photo we all know so well. Jeanne and Morty were on Christopher Street at Sheridan Square waiting for the in the gutter, and I said to myself, I’m a Eric Marcus is the author of Making start of another gay pride parade a year law-abiding citizen! I pay my taxes! The Gay History, an award-winning or two later. “We were standing in the nerve of him! I got off the curb and stood oral history of the LGBT civil rights street,” Jeanne recalled, “and a police- there in the street with Morty and stared movement. He’s also the creator man came over and said to get on the at the policeman. I was just so angry.” and host of the Making Gay History sidewalk. And I automatically did. Then podcast. You can hear Jeanne and I saw that Morty was still standing there The policeman turned and walked away. Morty in their own voices in Episode 6.

“You have so In the last issue we much to give ” encouraged you to #lovenotetoself #takeonestep #TakeOneStep to #prideelevated make a difference #pflagprovo in people’s lives. #pflag Here are just a few #nofilter of the ways people built on this historic moment from yesterday #TakeOneStep today and share to effect change today. this great piece on mothering Pride is all in the family! a trans kid. ift.tt/2qNOpdl #prideelevated #pflag #pflagprovo #takeonestep

SUMMER 2017 5 PFLAG EVENTS (L-R) Interim Executive Director Beth Kohm and PFLAG National board president Jean Hodges together on the red carpet.

The Ninth Annual Straight for Equality Gala

March 27, 2017 New York, NY

A good time was had by all, as evidenced by the dancing on stage from emcee Fortune Feimster (L) and CNN’s Don Lemon (R).

Entertainment honoree actress Martha Plimpton and Media honoree CNN commentator Ana Navarro enjoy a moment together on the red carpet.

The Neal family, including Lucien (far L), Trinity (L), and trans advocate mom DeShanna (R), flank KINKY Alcoa Corporation Chief Executive Officer Roy Harvey (R) accepts the BOOTS star Eric LaJuan Summers Straight for Equality in the Workplace award from Dow Chemical Business All images by on the red carpet. President of Energy and Water Solutions—and PFLAG National board D. Dipasupil/ member—Larry Ryan. Getty Images

We Are the Change Time flies when you’re having summer (heads up: It’s going to be an incredible Gives Back, our day of local service, and fun...blink and it will be fall, and time array of offerings). you can trust that this year’s convention for We Are the Change, the 2017 PFLAG will be a don’t-miss opportunity. There will be something for everyone, National convention. If you haven’t from chapter management to fundraising PFLAGers across the country are registered yet, there’s no time to lose! to diversity and inclusion efforts for already making their plans to be Every other year, We Are the Change chapters, and more. there, combining three days of attendees have access to top experts, Whether you’re a brand new PFLAG connecting, volunteering, and learning organizational leaders, and other member looking to learn the basics or with an early-autumn long weekend chapter members doing the work you’re a seasoned leader wanting to up getaway to the beautiful Pacific to move equality forward. And this your game, we’ll have something for you! Northwest. Why not join them? year is no different: we’ll soon be Add to that an opportunity to celebrate Visit pflag.org/2017convention announcing our lineup of fantastic chapter leaders and others who are to register now. We look forward to workshops and learning sessions making a difference, as well as PFLAG seeing you in Portland!

6 PFLAGpole STRAIGHT FOR EQUALITYTM S4E by the Numbers SPOTLIGHT

publications people participating 7 15k+ in learning sessions copies of learning 500k publications 20 sessions distributed since launch A Decade of people/ >6k >2.4k 32 organizations Engaging Allies Facebook Twitter honored likes followers at Galas “So I read this book, and it has me thinking…”

It was with that line that PFLAG’s We know that acceptance is a journey, publications were developed to empower Straight for Equality program was and our program had to reflect that,” says PFLAG chapters to use the program in conceived. Ten years later, Straight for Navetta. Ultimately, it was PFLAG’s their communities. Equality is one of the most successful decades of experience, and a belief in Learning opportunities significantly programs in PFLAG’s history. truly meeting people where they are that increased, with the Straight for Equality shaped the approach taken. So how did it come to be? in the Workplace program expanding Straight for Equality was officially from one learning session to more It was then PFLAG National board launched in 2007, first with a press than 15 options for corporate partners, president, John Cepek, who had the conference in Washington, D.C. where allowing them to bring PFLAG into idea. He’d heard of a growing number of musician Cyndi Lauper was the first their organizations and work with PFLAG chapters in which allies—people person to sign the Straight for Equality employees to build ally skills and boost who didn’t come to PFLAG for support, pledge, and then at the 2007 PFLAG workplace inclusion. and didn’t have family members who National Convention. were LGBT—were showing up and The visibility of Straight for Equality— becoming engaged, some in leadership While the project started with a website and, more importantly, for the allies it has roles with the organization. At the same and a single book—the guide to being supported—also offered PFLAG a chance time, he’d read the book Straightforward: a —it didn’t stay small for to create an annual gala in New York City How to Mobilize Heterosexual Support long. Within a few months of the launch, to highlight the accomplishments of for Gay Rights by Ian Ayres and Jennifer representatives from Caterpillar in allies in a wide spectrum of disciplines, Gerarda Brown, which made the case Peoria, IL, contacted Cepek and asked including the workplace, faith, sports, for why people outside of the LGBT for a workplace learning session on allies. entertainment, journalism, and literature. community have an ethical responsibility To date, it remains the only event in the “It was intimidating!” says Navetta, “But to support equality through words and, LGBTQ movement that is solely dedicated John was convinced that we could do more importantly, changes in behavior. to celebrating the accomplishments of this, so we packed up and went to Peoria, our allies. “It was the starting point,” says Jean-Marie and the response was fantastic. People Navetta, PFLAG’s Director of Learning and liked that they weren’t being told what “It started with a book and John Cepek’s Inclusion, who has managed Straight for they were doing wrong, but how and why tenacity, pushing to see a whole new Equality since its start. “We needed to find they could do better. It was accessible. aspect of the work that PFLAG could a way to apply to allies everything we knew It was PFLAG.” do—and that idea and push have trans- about PFLAG’s work with families, moving formed what PFLAG is and whom we Cepek, always known for finding the them from not caring or seeing this as “their serve,” says Navetta. humor in every situation, summarized issue” to active advocates for equality.” the first session this way: “Well, you Sadly, John passed away unexpectedly a The program’s development lasted just know what they say. If it plays in Peoria…” few short months ago. He leaves a legacy over a year, and tapped into a committee of engaging thousands of allies in the Since that first year, Straight for Equality who brought a wide variety of perspectives cause for equality through a program has transformed the way that allies are into the discussion. that is uniquely PFLAG…and undeniably understood and supported. The first book needed now more than ever before. “We discovered that most definitions of gave way to three more publications— ‘ally’ were aggressive and political—you a trans ally guide, a guide for allies of PFLAG National looks forward to many must vote one way, you must worship in faith, and a guide for allies in healthcare more years of inviting, educating, and certain places—and that’s not PFLAG. professions. Additionally, three more engaging allies. SUMMER 2017 7 DONOR SPOTLIGHT

Passionate PFLAG Support Through Decades of Giving Major donor John LeBedda has been “But we’ve always been aware that our a time when critical rights are being supporting PFLAG since 1988, but experience is not universal. Since its rolled back, and support for people who was aware of the organization long founding, PFLAG has been a symbol of are LGBTQ is more important than ever. hope and a place of refuge for so many.” before that, having attended Columbia “If there were no PFLAG,” says John, University with Morty Manford son of Recently, John and Steve chose to “I believe that LGBT youth would lose an PFLAG founder Jeanne Manford. John’s donate stock to PFLAG National. John invaluable network of kind and supportive husband Steve has a similar connection says that for them, this was a timely individuals who are dedicated to easing to the Manford family, having attended decision. “PFLAG is an important the turmoil often encountered in coming one of PFLAG’s earliest meetings with organization to counter all the negativity out, helping them develop into proud and his parents. that the LGBT community encounters self-actualized adults.” in this country. For this reason, we For both John and Steve, giving to John and Steve are two such individuals, decided that a larger single donation PFLAG National is a very personal making their incredible kindness and of stock to PFLAG was appropriate.” act. “We’ve both been blessed to have support tangible with their donations. extremely loving and supportive parents, John and Steve both believe in the We thank them both for their decades relatives and friends,” shares John. importance of PFLAG, especially at of generosity!

Thank you to our partners for their generous support.

TITANIUM PARTNERS PLATINUM PARTNERS

GOLD PARTNERS SILVER PARTNERS

BRONZE PARTNERS

master QC logo: pms 286