tiles … Put it on a computer, and click life in the past few years, due in part, to games *sigh*) and has been playing on they’re reshuffled and rebuilt. the internet. And, as you can guess from consoles since before I could walk. One our cover, Joe Blancato speaks to Matt of my favorite opponents to go head to This issue is not exactly about retro The second thing is a bit more complex. Soell, the creator of Stubbs the Zombie: head with is one of my friend’s girlfriend. games. Despite the name, “Groovy Art, media and entertainment are often Rebel without a Pulse, a great game She routinely whoops the hell out of me Games,” we aren’t going to wax poetic produced in reaction to the times. Wars, smacking heavily of ‘60s zombie movies, at Soul Calibur 3 and a few other games, about all of our childhood favorites. economies and politics are reflected in but with something to say. Find these yet when I try to convince stubborn male Sure, there will be a little of that, but the art and entertainment of a people. articles and more in this week’s issue of customers at my store that female mostly we’re looking at retro themes and Part of this is “painting what we know,” The Escapist. gamers do exist, they are left unswayed. designs, and the games that literally reflecting the world around us. I am glad to finally have a website/ezine demonstrate those. But part of this is attempting to make Cheers, to send them to. Thanks for writing an sense of the world around us, and to It sounds a little esoteric, but it’s there make a connection with others trying to and games aren’t the only media or art make sense of the world around us. A to do it. Take fashion: Every 20 to 30 theme or idea re-emerging in media years, some variants of the same style suggests that there’s still a need to are in fashion – haven’t you noticed the dissect and understand, whether pant legs inside women’s boots of late? because time has allowed a new And this a few short years after everyone perspective or because the issue has was wearing boot cut pants, flared at the crept up again. bottom specifically to fitoutside boots. Games are no different than any other That’s right, we’re heading back to the To the Editor: I just read my first issue art medium in returning to old ideas. 80s. Pull out your teal and hot pink. of The Escapist and I have to say that I And this is not a bad thing. Hence, the am very impressed by it. You have subject of this week’s issue, “Groovy This recycling of old material and ideas certainly gained a new reader from now Games.” Russ Pitts debuts this week and accomplishes two things. The first thing, on, and I intend to encourage my friends discusses his need to deal with “preteen revisiting old ideas with fresh eyes. They to check it out as well. were good ideas once, they’re probably thanatos” from growing up during the Cold War in America and how games still good ideas, especially when new A little bit of background on me: I’m a helped. Also new this week is Richard tech is applied. Take computer white male age 20 (i.e. the target Aihoshi, sharing one of his favorite mahjongg. It’s based on an old game, a demographic of most game developers) pastimes and how it got a new lease on good game, but there are just so many who works for a GameStop (formerly EB excellent publication and please keep it To the Editor: The women in gaming age of 20 on the other hand.. but oh well up! features were all brilliant. I really you can’t have everything! -D.C. enjoyed the magazine issue, it was great to have acknowledgement that we play Thanks for the articles! To the Editor: First things first: You for once. I play Guild Wars and the “Girls -Cat “Glory POA” D guys do a great job writing The don’t exist on teh interweb!!!1” article Escapist. So good, in fact, that if you was pretty much spot on. And funny. took a look around the office here at LDA Games and noticed that we all have two A few other girls and I formed a Diablo 2 monitors on our desks, you’d be led to (Open + Closed Dueling) clan, the first believe that the primary purpose for our (and I think the only) all female D2 clan second monitors is to showcase your back in 2000 after meeting through an magazine. online community. At the time we had a) Lesbian comments b) You are not girls With that out of the way, I wanted to let comments c) You are boys pretending to you know that I don’t find your RSS feed be fat lesbian comments (these were very useful. The reason for this is that I interesting) d) You are girls and must use Thunderbird as my RSS aggregator, therefore suck or have someone else and it only displays the first page of each fight your battles for you comments e) article, making me open it in Firefox if I You might be girls, but not hot girls want to read the rest of it. But I’m not comments. Recently some of us got writing to complain; I’m writing to let accused of “cyber-sexing” (I kid thee you know that I’ve come up with a not) our way up to admin positions in a solution. If you subscribe to this feed, web forum. The clan is called POA each article will be displayed in one (Pieces of Ass) and still going pretty page, with all your beautiful formatting strong despite ridicule online and deaths, in tact. I admit it’s a bit of a hack, but it divorces, kids and marriages offline. It’s works. So if anybody else complains cool, and all the men on our home about your RSS feed, feel free to pass it gaming communities are respectful and on. appreciate we have our place there Cheers, because we’ve earned it. Boys under the -Rick Yorgason Retro eventually gives way to parody. gaming. Of course, the first thing I ask Think about it. The latest ‘80s movement him is when Stubbs the Zombie was born. is about to fall flat on its face because no one can pop his pink polo shirt’s collar “Wideload began life in early 2003,” he for much longer than a year before tells me. “The initial incarnation realizing how stupid it looks. The words consisted of three people - Alexander “disco is back!” are a punch line, but 15 Seropian, Mark Bernal and myself. We years ago, they sent people in search of had a lot of conference calls because we designer bell bottoms. The transition didn’t have office space yet, and Alex from serious high fashion to giggle- was still spending a lot of time at home inducing is just part of the underlying tending to his just-born first child. We’d cultural understanding that you can’t go been kicking a bunch of ideas around but home again. Despite the cyclical nature we hadn’t come up with anything we of western culture, entropy finds a home really liked yet. After one conference call in too many hearts to let us repeat on a Saturday morning, during which we ourselves verbatim, and no throwback in all shot down each other’s ideas, I was the world evades a comic gaze for pacing around trying to will a good idea very long. into existence. Nothing was coming, so I gave up and took a shower. That’s when But what about when someone creates a the raw idea for Stubbs came to me. I throwback complemented by a wink and seem to have most of my good ideas in a nudge? How can you make fun of retro the shower or in the car. Aspiring writers when it’s already making fun of itself? should drive and bathe often.” Stubbs the Zombie: Rebel without a Pulse dared me to answer that very If you’re unfamiliar with Stubbs, here’s question when I put on my fedora and some perspective. It’s 1959. All of the popped the CD into my Xbox last October. outlandish advances promised in those corny “the future is now!” type videos I was able to get in touch with have been delivered by Andrew Monday, Wideload’s Matt Soell, Stubbs’ creator, and they’re all available for everyone to and talk game design, specifically retro enjoy in his newly created future city, Punchbowl. Robots take on menial tasks For the next few hours, hilarity ensues, usually performed by the working class, as Stubbs romps through Punchbowl, the police force’s numbers rival that of a turning its citizens into a zombie horde fascist state, and the elite special ops that takes on the U.S. Army in the team charged with protecting Andrew game’s final stages. Somewhere in the Monday and his mother doubles as a middle, Stubbs gets into a dance off with profane barbershop quartet - it’s Joseph the chief of police, and later develops a McCarthy’s wet dream. But there’s a love interest with one of Punchbowl’s problem. Punchbowl is built on the celebrities. Throughout his journey, he shallow grave of Stubbs, a newly undead encounters every 1950s stereotype you insurance agent from the Depression can imagine; it puts Back to the Future era, and he’s tired of being trod upon. to shame. Stubbs did what so few games can: It let its content shine right next to “The Roaring Twenties were basically a its gameplay. But the retro/parody big party to which Stubbs was not content didn’t just shine, it said invited, and the Great Depression was something. the aftermath in which Stubbs somehow got stuck with the bill,” Soell says. “Just “One of the underlying themes in Stubbs when he thinks his life is finally turning - which I lifted from Poe’s ‘Masque of the around, someone blows a basketball- Red Death’ - is the idea that you can’t sized hole in his gut and buries him in build a wall big enough to keep entropy the middle of nowhere. Twenty-odd out,” Soell says. “Andrew Monday doesn’t years later, he wakes up in the middle of like poverty and decrepitude and a rich man’s city to discover that he’s unpleasantness, so he builds a city still dead and some whiny little punks where luxury is a birthright and everyone are eating hot dogs on his grave. It’s a can relax because bad things only pivotal moment for Stubbs, the point happen to lesser people in lesser cities. where he realizes that he’s doesn’t have Then Stubbs shows up, and he’s not just to let people walk all over him anymore.” poor and decrepit and unpleasant ... he’s undead. He stands in direct opposition to everything Punchbowl is about. And soundtrack features a myriad of modern- he wears a really ugly tie.” day bands covering tunes from the ‘50s. Cake covers “Strangers in the Night,” A man with hubris meeting his nemesis The Raveonettes cover “My Boyfriend’s isn’t a new theme. Now, mash that into Back.” Soell says, “Because it’s a city of a zombie a movie where the zombie the future, we figured there might be isn’t a conformist and you’re treading on some very forward-thinking bands unfamiliar territory. “There are a lot of interpreting the songs. Pop music from games about zombies attacking that era had a lot of low-hanging fruit for humanity, but in our game, the zombie is the story we were telling – there’s an the hero,” Soell says. If no examples intensity of emotion, but also an come to mind, think about the original innocence that provides a pleasant Dawn of the Dead, where everyday mall- frisson when placed into the context of goers turned into brain-eating zombies. an over-the-top zombie game. ‘Earth In Stubbs, the only non-conformist is a Angel’ and ‘My Boyfriend’s Back’ certainly zombie; imagine James Dean with green took on some new undertones.” But it skin. However, for a reanimated noggin- wasn’t a simple task to compile an chomper to be the least zombie-like original soundtrack when “a lot of person in the world, Soell had to create publishers would hear the words ‘zombie a city full of ‘50s automatons. “Having game’ and slap together a bunch of made that one crucial inversion, it throwaway tracks from nu-metal bands seemed natural to make a few more. with misspelled names,” he tells me. If it Instead of setting our grisly antihero in a weren’t for the Herculean efforts of Zach gritty modern-day city, we put him in a and Chad at Aspyr Media, Stubbs’ gleaming, sterile environment – the sort publisher, all of Wideload’s hard work to of city that never really existed except in create a pseudo-period piece might’ve flights of fancy.” been disrupted by Mudvayne.

But Punchbowl was just one of the Matt’s nu-metal comment strikes a chord elements Wideload created when they with me. Nowadays, even bands like brought Stubbs to life. The game’s Cannibal Corpse and GWAR - while they’re not really nu-metal - draw little As our conversation comes to a close, I m. and long past my bed time. I put the more than awkward glances from ask Matt to gaze into his crystal ball and game back in its case and decide to concerned parents. But in the ‘50s, tell me how people will perceive us 50 place it on a bookshelf, away from where Buddy Holly and Elvis had entire years into the future, since he did such a I normally store my old games, because committees trying to get them thrown in great job of encapsulating the past. “In this one crossed a barrier; it said jail for being social deviants, corrupting 50 years, these will officially be the Good something. our youth and turning them into serial Old Days. Our technology and culture killers. Sounds a lot like the videogame will seem quaint to the point of Joe Blancato is a Content Editor for The industry, only Buddy Holly probably got amusement, but there will also be a Escapist Magazine. more girls than John Romero. I ask Matt sizable group of fogies and blowhards what our next demon will be. whining that everything’s gone to hell since then. And of course they’ll need “I don’t know what will be next. If you something to blame it on – but it won’t look back at the things that inspired that be videogames, it’ll be something new,” kind of public outcry, it seems like they he says. bubble up from subcultures that are already stigmatized to a certain degree,” His last thought makes me think on the he says. “Punk rock, D&D, Lenny Bruce, drive home. When I make it into my hip-hop - or indeed any musical form apartment, I load up Stubbs again, this pioneered by African-Americans ... all of time trying to keep up with all of Soell’s them were easy to demonize because deep references and stereotypes, only to they came from subcultures that were - find myself unable to actually keep up and still are - actively denigrated by the with the game. I push down my fedora, mainstream. At the risk of sounding crank up the volume, and by the time pompous, those who want to predict the I’m dancing against Punchbowl’s chief of cultural flashpoints of tomorrow should police, I’m back at the top of my game. I probably look at the stereotypes and guide Stubbs through Matt’s world a prejudices they hold today.” while longer before realizing it’s 2:00 a. On November 20th, 1983, ABC “It is hoped that the images of this film broadcasted a made-for-television movie will inspire the nations of this earth, the called The Day After, starring a number peoples and leaders, to find the means of notable screen actors and directed by to avert [nuclear war].” none other than Nicholas Meyer of The Wrath of Khan fame. The marketing for In other words, the filmmakers wanted the film featured a number of pithy, their film to serve as a wake-up call to historically meaningful blurbs, world leaders (who were assumed to including the mysterious suggestion that watch lot of TV). They got their wish. the movie was “Beyond imagining …” The film was a monumental success and, which, if you think about it, sounds combined with Sting’s powerful, lyrical ridiculous for a number of reasons. hope that the Russians loved their children (too), formed the nexus of a In the film, world politics turned ugly cultural revolution which apparently overnight and somebody, somewhere convinced all self-respecting, music- pressed The Red Button. Missiles loving, TV-watching nuclear powers to roared skyward, the Russians vaporized reconsider the whole Cold War thing and Kansas City, civilization broke down, sue for peace. Walls fell, evil empires soldiers abandoned their posts, farmers collapsed and the nuclear arsenals of the locked away their daughters and Steve U.S.A. and U.S.S.R. were wheeled into Guttenberg got radiation poisoning. the basement. For the world, it was a Basically, the sum of all fears. happy ending. For myself and many like me, it was but the beginning of a lifetime Every filmmaker, to a greater or lesser of neurosis stemming from a childhood degree, wants his or her film to change of unrealized terror. the world. The artists responsible for The Day After practically demanded this Author and filmmaker Daedalus Howell outcome. The epilogue of the film says calls this particular neurosis a “preteen it all: thanatos,” likening the post-traumatic stress of viewing The Day After as a child, and his ensuing lifelong salvation and literally salivated at the melancholy, to Freud’s theory that the prospect of convincing Jenny Cartwright realization of one’s own imminent death to let me touch her breasts before the induces within one an urge to (and here bombs fell - I’d been cheated, in other I paraphrase) get the hell on with it, words, out of the best parts of my as yet prompting violent and/or self-destructive un-lived life. More than 10 years would behavior. In this case, however, we are go by before I’d begin to figure out how talking about thanatos on a cultural to deal. scale. The Day After, coming as it did, at the height of U.S.-U.S.S.R. Cold War The brilliant Impossible Mission, from tensions, catalyzed the volatile Epyx, started the journey, putting me atmosphere of nuclear hysteria in the into the mysterious tights of a U.S., terrifying an entire generation of mysterious man on an even more American children into fervently doubting mysterious (and impossible) mission. the possibility of ever reaching Armed with only his wits and a adulthood, while at the same time fantastically rendered somersault trick, inducing those in power to abandon the the mystery man managed to maneuver very course of action which might have his way through a maze-like secret led to the realization of that terror. In complex, avoiding deadly traps and other words: thanatos interruptus. thwarting evil robots along the way. The absence of other human beings in this Those of us at the cusp of Generation X complex, yet abundance of human should have rejoiced. We did not. Deep objects, suggested a bustling down, we felt a sense of profound installation which somehow, and for sadness - of loss. I, for one, had made some reason, had been rapidly plans. Following Armageddon, I’d been evacuated. Either the designers at Epyx counting on the chance to explore the had brilliantly conceived this game as ruins of Western civilization, dreamed part of a long-range plan to soothe my about my future as a hero and savior shattered ego, or my imagination was rising from the ashes to lead mankind to humming at just the right frequency to perceive IM’s empty hallways and eerily Mesa complex was like crawling out from unpopulated work stations as post under half a lifetime of repressed fears apocalyptic. Either way, the game’s and barely-remembered emotional scars. sense of atmosphere moved me I’d been waiting for a game like Half-Life profoundly. for a very long time. It brought me one step away from completing my journey. I hesitate to mention Mad Max, for the NES, because it is honestly not that Fallout, Black Isle’s innovative post- great of a game, but it did make the apocalyptic RPG, finally forced me to Apocalypse seem fun. Fast cars, half- face my darkest fears. In Fallout, the naked women, vast desert landscapes world has been reduced to rubble - yet (all imagined, of course - the graphics you survive. You begin the game inside a looked terrible); for a kid with an community fallout shelter called a apocalypse fetish, it was a must-have. I “Vault,” where you have lived for your had it. It helped. Let’s move on. Like entire life. The Vault Elder informs you that girl at that party that night that I that there is a problem. The water was upset about that other girl going off purifier is failing, and the elders have with that guy, it’s best we don’t talk decided that someone has to go outside about it in any great detail. Someone to find a new one. They’ve chosen you. bought it for me. Or maybe it came with my NES. Please, let’s just move on. Not since the heady days of Glasnost and Infocom text adventures had a Many years later, I found the bright, game begun with a more pitch-perfect shining champion of post-apocalypse set-up. The massive door of the Vault gaming. Half-Life,­ with its brilliant opens and you are unceremoniously artificial intelligence, engaging story and thrust out of the only home you’ve ever near-perfect immersion, placed me into known and into … well, The Day After. the suit of a man just trying to survive Only, in the game, it’s actually been the unimaginable in a way no game had decades after. And, as bad as we’ve been ever done before. Crawling out of the led to believe the world will get in the shattered passageways of the Black days following World War III, in the years following that, it’s become much, the garden and stood silently for the much worse. remainder of the afternoon, listening to the sound of the world and To paraphrase the character played by contemplating my existence. I felt an John Lithgow in The Day After, who was, almost indescribable sense of calm. I’d in turn, quoting Albert Einstein: been Gordon Freeman, saving the world with a crowbar. I’d been the nameless “I don’t know how World War III will be secret agent, cart-wheeling my way fought. But I do know how World War IV through the laser beams. I’d been the will be fought - with sticks and stones.” Road Warrior, refusing to just walk away, and saving the juice for all mankind. The desolate imagery and desperate Now, finally, I was the Vault Dweller, sense of hopelessness in the face of kicking ass and chewing bubblegum in unimaginable tragedy make Fallout a my blue jumpsuit. I’d finally gotten my difficult game to finish (especially for a chance to experience the challenge of Day After Kid), but it is precisely the surviving in the radioactive maelstrom of ending of this game that makes every post-nuclear America, and had not only moment of pain and frustration survived - I’d conquered. It was, as worthwhile. Watching the Fallout’s ridiculous as this may sound, the first ending cut-scene rendered me utterly time in my life that I felt completely sure speechless. I literally could not summon of who I was, and of what I was capable. the words or thoughts to describe my emotions. I had experienced this sensation only once before, on Russ Pitts is the former Head Writer for November 20th, 1983. The Screen Savers on TechTV. He now writes for gamerswithjobs.com and The As the finalFallout credit rolled up the Worcester Pulse, and is the Producer and monitor, and the screen turned black, I Host ofGamers With Jobs Radio. His slowly regained control of my faculties. I website is insomniacorp.com. got up from my chair, stumbled out into The year was 1985. U.K. band Dire $10,000, but the field and the prize Straits released the landmark album money available had grown considerably. Brothers in Arms, which ultimately sold With 5,619 competitors, the total pool the almost unbelievable total of more was an almost unbelievable than 30 million copies. It yielded multiple $52,818,610. When Hachem emerged hit singles, one being Money for Nothing, victorious, his share was a more than from which the title of this article is tidy $7.5 million. He also became an adapted; the actual lyric is “chicks.” almost instant celebrity with Music was, of course, a huge endorsement deals and representation entertainment medium. by the famed William Morris agency. Of the nine competitors who made it to the That summer, Bill Smith outlasted 139 final table, six won more than the entire other players to capture the main event $1.4 million paid out 20 years earlier. All at the sixteenth annual World Series of nine took home at least $1 million. It Poker (WSOP) in Las Vegas. Having paid also didn’t hurt poker’s visibility when $10,000 to enter, he pocketed a tidy the WSOP ladies championship was $700,000 from the total pool of $1.4 captured in dominating fashion by Oscar- million. Outside poker’s own insular nominated actress Jennifer Tilly. world, virtually no one noticed. As a form of entertainment, poker was completely As a form of entertainment, poker has off the radar. exploded within the past few years. Around the world, millions have taken up Flash forward to the summer of 2005. the game, and when they’re not playing, Brothers in Arms remains a landmark they can watch more than a dozen poker British recording, one of the all-time top shows on TV. And although it had already sellers. Music is still tremendously started, the boom is perhaps best popular. defined and symbolized by a moment that took place in the summer of 2003. At the WSOP, Joseph Hachem took part An accountant, the fittingly named Chris in the main event. The entry fee was still Moneymaker, won the WSOP main event. Be The Quintessential Poker Newbie Unlike Hachem, he didn’t put up something - and at least with poker, Tips for showing what a rookie you really are $10,000 to play. Instead, he paid about there’s a chance to profit. So, they $40 to enter a so-called “satellite” deposit again. As they improve, they online tournament in which the three start to win, often by beating the next 1. Understand advanced poker odds top prizes were entries. After getting in wave of newbies. How long it takes to The uninitiated may think a hand being “the this way, he then proceeded to win the become a winning player varies favorite” means its probability of winning exceeds big one, which had a top prize of $2.5 significantly from person to person; 50 percent. For example, consider a hand of two million that year. Ironically, he stated some never do. eights (88) against a single opponent holding an later that with four players left in the ace and a five (A5). According to conventional satellite, he considered playing to come JonM (online poker alias) took a mathematics, the pair will win about 70 percent of fourth because it paid $8,000 in cash. different route. In his first year playing, the time. Simplistic nonsense! When 88 is dealt to he made well over $1,500. What’s you, it should prevail against A5 every single Moneymaker’s win demonstrated that more, he did so without ever risking a time. Well, almost. Once an eon or so, the poker an amateur could beat the top cent. How? By playing in “freeroll” deities will conspire to let the other hand triumph. professionals to win the game’s most tournaments that cost nothing to enter When this happens ... coveted championship. Of course, not but pay cash to those who place highly. everyone would turn $40 into $2.5 Most of the estimated 250 online poker 2. Make sure everyone knows what just million, but how hard could it be to sites offer them, usually with prize happened become good enough to make a few pools of $50 or less. However, at least a It’s silly to think the other players at your table bucks? few each month pay out $1,000 to are actually watching the action so it’s your $5,000. sacred duty to make sure they know they just With such thoughts in mind, it’s very missed a once in an eon occurrence. A common easy to give poker a shot. Most poker Occasionally, far larger amounts are way of accomplishing this is to type something newbies pick an online site, deposit available. JonM says he has played like “amazing luck!!!!!” or “what an incredible some money - $50 is typical, but the several events that paid out $20,000 suckout!!!!!” into the chat box. The use of minimum requirement is usually lower - each and one that had a pool of multiple exclamation marks is highly and start playing. Quite a few lose it all. $100,000. He also entered three recommended, but not mandatory. Some quit, but others consider it satellite tournaments where the high “paying their dues” while learning, or finishers qualified to play another 3. Learn and inform by asking figure that hobbies usually cost freeroll for $1 million or more. Using the same example hands, the obvious question to ask is something like, “You called me While it’s not all that difficult to get provide basic information like your and capped at 1,000 entrants, of with A5?” - in case you were only 99.99% sure. started freerolling, sites have their own name, address and phone number plus whom the top 15 win amounts ranging The advanced usage of this concept is to inform schedules and entry requirements. This a valid e-mail address. In most cases, from $20 to $5. Withdrawals may be the other players what happened (see #2 above). means it can take some time to figure you also have to enable the account made without depositing, and JonM The recommended style is a single question mark, out where and how to begin. According for real money play. This is generally says he has cashed out about $50 in so this is especially good to know when your to JonM, who has played on more than just a formality that does not require winnings from these events. Another fingers are cramping up from repeatedly typing 25 sites, opening an account is pretty giving a credit card number or actually site has approximately 35 cash multiple exclamations. easy. You have to be legally an adult transferring any funds. Certain sites do freerolls on its daily schedule. The wherever you live, and you must oblige you to deposit before you can prize pool is $50 split 18 ways among 4. Share your wealth of knowledge at the table withdraw your winnings. However, you 2,000 contestants, with the winner You know the opponent’s A5 will lose to your 88 don’t have to bet the money; just let getting $10 down to $1. This site is almost 100 percent of the time. However, since them hold it for a while. JonM suggests one that requires a deposit before that’s an advanced odds concept they may not leaving any sites with more withdrawing; the minimum is $20. grasp, don’t go into details. Settle for something complicated requirements until you’re JonM reports cashing another $50 or like, “You have to be careful with A5 in case you past the raw beginner stage. so from his successes there. run into a medium pocket pair.” This is actually a form of reverse psychology. Given that your 88 is One site at which he has played offers Clearly, the probability of winning virtually guaranteed to win, you definitely want several $100 freerolls every day. They anything in such large tournaments is them to bet with A5. But who’s going to take are open to all money-enabled players pretty small, as are the prize amounts. advice from someone who’s playing in a freeroll? So, how did he manage to amass over It’s far more likely they’ll do the exact opposite. $1,500? The vast majority came from private freerolls where the numbers 5. Bet “all in” as often as possible can be much more favorable. In an On TV, you see the pros bet all their chips quite admittedly atypical example, he played often. Sure, they’re late in tournaments, playing in one that had only 11 entrants vying with high mandatory bets at tables where only a for nine prizes. What’s more common few opponents remain, whereas you’ll usually be is to play for the same $50 or $100 as playing at full tables of nine or 10. But so what? above, but against far fewer If once every 10 hands or so is good enough for them, more often must be even better. You may opponents, often 50 to 150 rather than not always have strong hands like 88, or even A5 1,000 or 2,000. These smaller events though, particularly if you go all in every hand, so tend to pay the top nine, 10 or 15 spends at least a few hours each week very slim, JonM could turn out to be you’ll have to ... places. This means an average player reading up on how to improve his 2006’s Joseph Hachem. In any case, will cash about 10 percent of the time, game, so his overall rate is even lower. he’ll happily continue to enjoy winning 6. Bluff big and JonM says he does better than The fact he makes anything at all is a money for nothing while playing as a Naturally, all in is especially good. Wimpy bluffs that. As above, the individual prize nice bonus since he plays as a hobby, pastime. And yes, he has also gotten a are for ... well, wimps. If the opponents fold in amounts are small, frequently $2 to so don’t expect him to quit his job and set of poker chips for free. terror and you win with your 72 or 53, great. It’s $5. However, he plays almost every turn pro any time soon. especially satisfying when you bet 1,000 or 1,500 day and occasionally wins larger sums chips to win a pot that holds 15 or 25. For even - $200 is the most so far - and every It has been estimated that this year’s Richard Aihoshi has been writing about more self-gratification, pat yourself on the back little bit adds up. WSOP main event winner will receive a different form of online gaming, and gain the instant respect of the entire table by as much as $10 million from a total massively multiplayer online worlds, showing your two little cards. And, on those rare JonM does warn that looking at his prize pool that will almost certainly for nearly a decade. His interest in occasions when someone happens to hit the “Call” total winnings doesn’t give a complete exceed $60 million. A few people who poker is more recent. He started button by mistake and you lose, you can ... picture. By his own estimate, he plays play for this enormous jackpot will playing several months ago and has about 20 hours a week, which means have won their way in through made a few dollars from freerolls 7. Get emotional he made about $1.50 an hour. He also freerolls. So, although the odds are himself. This is a natural reaction. After all, you’re playing in a freeroll that cost you nothing to enter, and you’ve invested precious time that you could have spent ... um, reading The Escapist. Also, if you stay emotional long enough, there’s a cool bonus. The next time you bluff big, which may have to wait until your next tournament if you busted out, you can really hammer your mouse button. The other players won’t know, but you’ll get a little rush of self-satisfaction. And if someone happens to hit the “Call” button by mistake and you lose again, you’ll be primed for a bigger rush next time. And the time after. And the time after ... Dim lights, loud techno music, bleeps It’s no secret that the shmup genre has and bloops, intricate wire-frame models fallen well out of the scope of the of exotic spaceships, and obscenely high mainstream in a steady downward spiral scores; this scene could be any one of that probably began around the release dozens of pizza parlors or game rooms of of the PlayStation, and the fact that the ‘70s and ‘80s, featuring staples of arcade shoot-’em-ups are being made by the times from Battlezone to Galaxian independent developers is hardly with everything in between. newsworthy to any follower of the industry. Indeed, aside from a few Except it’s not. It’s my bedroom. The relatively high-profile releases like dim lights are my own fault, and the rest Ikaruga and Gradius V, the shmup is coming from a game called Gunroar, scene is largely a niche that caters to the released an ancient seven-odd months hardest of the hardcore (as in, the ago. And it’s not part of any Midway people willing to shell out a few hundred Classics collection or some such U.S. dollars for Radiant Silvergun) and nonsense either. Gunroar comes courtesy not many others, and so the vast of ABA Games, a one-man operation run majority of new titles have been coming out of Japan by one Kenta Cho. out of independent developer associations, mostly in Japan, who give Gunroar is the latest entry in a veritable their dedicated fans what they’re looking pantheon of classic arcade-inspired for - generally in the form of ever- titles. The vast majority of ABA Games’ increasing waves upon waves of bullets. releases fall into the shoot-’em-up genre (“shmup” to the initiated) which usually Mr. Cho’s games are different, somehow. includes both horizontal-scrolling (R- Type, Gradius) and vertical-scrolling To be sure, every ABA Games title boasts (Strikers 1945, Raiden) ship-based an impeccable audiovisual experience; shooters, as well as one-man-army each title offers its own modern re- shooters like Contra, Metal Slug, and imagining of the arcade games from Gunstar Heroes. which it draws inspiration. The graphics range from game to game, but inevitably well-written storyline (there aren’t any), consist of a series of abstract wireframe or the graphics, or the music, or any of and polygonal models that, at first, that. His games don’t fascinate us with remind you of Asteroids, until you take a explorations of videogames as a vehicle look at a gargantuan boss ship in for post-modern narrative or a study of rRootage and realize how painstakingly human behavior in an immersive online animated each vector is. In other cases, environment. All they do is dissect some the art is childishly simple, like the of the assumptions that arcade games player’s own ships, for example. Your make, and as it turns out, playing with beloved gunboat in Gunroar is a mere the standard rules of the arcade game five-line drawing that approximates the can yield some pretty interesting Platonic form of a boat, and the gameplay mechanics. spaceship (if it can really be called a ship) in rRootage is an odd little abstract Let’s think about some of the thing that consists of a small box conventions we’ve grown accustomed to surrounded by a set of transparent, seeing in a standard ship-based (or parallel rectangles. The repetitive airplane, or penguin, or whatever you electronica soundtrack’s thumping bass want) shoot-’em-up game for a second. lines keep your adrenaline flowing, so Usually, you’ll control a plane or you can focus at the task at hand, which something that has to negotiate (read: usually entails dodging lots of bullets and blow up) swarms of lesser enemies laser beams of various sorts. before making it to a climactic boss battle. Lather, rinse, repeat. All of this is neat. Very neat, in fact. Now, try rRootage, which throws you But the true artistry running through into elaborate, multi-stage boss battles - Kenta Cho’s games isn’t located in a the kind that tend to be the most challenging and most interesting part of direction that they collectively fire at is somewhat perversely, reawaken the defying experiences that manage to the shmup genre - and nothing else. If determined by the right angle that runs hardcore arcade gamer in anyone who instill an appreciation for the shmup, in you’re bored with your smart bombs, perpendicular to a line segment drawn plays his games. Maybe it’s something all its masochistic glory, in the breast of rRootage gives you alternative gameplay from one boat to the other. Yeah, that’s about surviving a seemingly impossible even the most grizzled gaming veteran. modes that can have you absorbing what I thought. barrage of bullets, or hovering oh-so- It’s one thing to make a game that is same-color shots for additional firepower close to a lethal laser beam to charge up merely difficult, I think, but it is another a la Ikaruga, or charging up your shield Things only get more interesting from your super meter, or breaking that high thing entirely to be able to make games meter by flying dangerously close to here. Tumiki Fighter has you piloting a score barrier by staying planted right at that make me want to be a better gamer. enemy bullets. Or, give Gunroar a shot; toy airplane through a cartoony looking point-blank against an rRootage boss as it turns out, being in a boat instead of toy land where everything is made of because you know that’s the quickest a spaceship makes all the difference. blocks. Don’t expect enemies to merely way to beat it, or encountering any one Pat Miller has been doing this for way too This, you see, is because Gunroar leaves explode and vanish when you’re done of hundreds of other equally death- long. the rate at which the game scrolls with them, though, because you’re vertically through the level almost supposed to catch them with your own exclusively to the player. plane. That’s right - once disabled, you can graft enemy planes (even bosses!) Be as cautious as you want, but you’re on to your own ship to turn into a not going to get the high score without a gigantic, awkward, flying katamari-esque decent score multiplier, which only ship, complete with significant score and increases if you light a fire under your firepower bonuses. Or tryTorus Trooper, ass and book it through the level. which borrows a little bit from shooter- Suddenly, the ability to control the on-rails shmups and a little bit from direction of your weapon independently Tempest to get you hurdling through of the direction you’re moving in is vector-tunnels as fast as possible critical - all your enemies are behind without colliding into enemy craft. you. Well, maybe that’s not such a big deal. Try Gunroar’s Dual Stick mode, It is Kenta Cho’s intimate knowledge of then, where you have to control two the internal risk/reward mechanisms boats, one with each hand, and the employed in the shmup genre that, EDITORIAL PRODUCTION BUSINESS Executive Editor Producer Publisher Julianne Greer Jonathan Hayter Alexander Macris

Content Editor Layout Artist Associate Publishers Joseph Blancato Jessica Fielhauer Jerry Godwin Gregory Lincoln Contributing Editor Lead Web Developer JR Sutich Whitney Butts Director of Advertising Susan Briglia Research Manager Web Developer Nova Barlow Erik Jacobson Industry Relations Managers Laura Rotondo Contributors IT Director Shannon Drake Richard Aihoshi Jason Smith Pat Miller Chairman of Themis Group Kyle Orland Thomas S. Kurz Russ Pitts Tim Rhodes

Volume 1, Issue 33, © 2006. The Escapist is published weekly by Themis Group, Inc. Produced in the United States of America. To contact the editors please email [email protected]. For a free subscription to The Escapist in PDF format please view www.escapistmagazine.com I entered the gleaming white store with “Hello!” she responded enthusiastically, trepidation. A cardboard box, previously doing that voice of hers that I hate. You used to store wrapped, uncooked chicken know the one, the voice you make when legs, was held tightly between my arms. you’re trying to be polite to someone you Inside of it, dozens of gray plastic just met, the one that doesn’t sound squares slid back and forth with the anything like your own. It further added sway of my body. to the phoniness of the situation.

The automatic doors closed behind me I strolled over to the counter and set with a whoosh as I felt the overhead air down the box, peering over top of the system blow down onto me. I was miles rim. Behind the counter, the floor was away from where I had been three steps raised, giving the girl this king-like view back. of the entire store.

At the front counter stood a bored young “What can I do for you folks today?” woman, her red smock stained in the Folks? Was she kidding me? lower left corner. Coffee? I didn’t care. Beside me stood my oldest sister, who My sister went on gabbing as I frowned, was home visiting from school. I don’t wondering what I was doing here. remember what she wore, only that her eyeshadow was dark blue. ***

The girl at the counter turned and gave a A few weeks before, I had seen the ad halfhearted smile as I approached, which on television: Zelda. The firstZelda for was further dulled by the gum that the N64. I was ecstatic, having been smacked around between her teeth. waiting for this moment for a long time. Oh, it had been hyped before, especially “Hi there,” she said. I went to speak, but in the Nintendo Power subscription I had my sister interrupted. received every month like clockwork for damn near seven years. This was the was going to be, etc. They, however, had game to have, and if you didn’t, you bad news. sucked. Now, I had known we were having While kids at my school were giddy financial problems; but, like all situations about the upcoming dance, I was of that kind, my parents tried shielding it gibbering about Link with my merry from me. I was, after all the youngest group of nerds, geeks and outcasts. (a.k.a., the “baby”) of the family. Little did I know that this thing I craved was “Did you see the graphics?” not to be mine, because we just couldn’t “Yeah, what about the story?” afford it. “I dunno, it’s gonna be awesome, though.” I was crushed. More than that, though, I “Oh, definitely.” was angry. I was to be denied this? Who did they think they were? Didn’t they These were the substantive comments know how much I wanted it? How much made during lunch period. At the table I needed it? They must have known, but across from us, a gaggle of girls were decided to go into debt just to spite me. discussing the stud-factor of the football quarterback. Beside us, more fellow As I sat sulking in my room, my gaze classmates were passing notes to those drifted to the box in the corner. I had girls. (Do you like me? Circle Yes, No, been asked to clean out my closet, and Maybe.) most of the clutter I had grudgingly taken out was in there. Let them have their crushes and notes. I had Zelda. “That’s it!” I thought. I scrambled over to it and beheld the treasure trove of When I went home, I spoke to my yesteryear. The box was filled to the parents. I told them about it, how cool it brim with NES games. Back when my parents had a thriving business, they occur. I was confused. Why was she spoiled us kids rotten. Bubble Bobble, talking to this man? Mega Man, Batman, Castlevania and more! He reached into the box, looking at the wondrous toys before him. His eyes lit I remembered that Toys ‘R’ Us had a up as he went through them, each one program where you can exchange old bringing more and more joy to his face. I games for store credit. This was my just thought he looked creepy. chance! I ran down to my mom and explained what I wanted to do, and she “Well, I don’t have a problem with it,” said it was fine with her. I was giddy. said the manager to my sister, who had Hundreds of old NES games, at a few been called over. “You just can’t do it in bucks of credit apiece? I was going to the store, that’s all.” have it all! “What about the parking lot?” she responded. At least, I thought so. “That would be fine. Just no outside money transactions inside the store.” *** As they bickered, I saw him pick up The box was half empty and I had racked something I didn’t even know was in up a total of $150 so far. Into the there: the original NES game –- Super entrance of the store walked a man, a Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt. brown trench coat dangling around his ankles. He noticed what we were doing What was I doing here? How could I and wandered over to us. have been throwing away the past like this? Was I really going to let her give Apparently, he wanted to buy the games my formerly prized possessions to for actual cash. My sister, the savvy big some weird guy in a trench coat in the city girl she had become, was eager to parking lot? have an actual monetary transaction I tapped her on the shoulder. Now, of course, Mega Man is hardly the star he was, now known more for an “I’ve changed my mind.” anime series than his games. Mario and “What do you mean?” she asked. Luigi have their own games, and the “I don’t want to sell these anymore. Let’s most recent ones don’t even reflect that go.” for which they were best known. And “But-” Bubble Bobble? Ha! “No arguments, let’s just go.” In our society, it’s all about the new and She could tell I was serious, and possibly exciting, the shiny and freshly wrapped, a little upset at this recent turn of the ones with the multi-million dollar events. So, we quickly got the receipt for marketing campaign attached to them. the store credit from the girl, I pulled the And I suppose that’s just how things go. games out of trench coat man’s hands and exited the store, quickly rushing to But we must be careful, for in our the car to go home. attempt to seek out the latest and greatest, we may sacrifice that which There was a sudden change of heart in made us who we are, and lose a piece of there, but really, wasn’t I just shoveling ourselves forever. Otherwise, we may all out the old for the new? Once upon a end up as old men, looking through time, these were the top tier of home cardboard boxes, wondering what entertainment. Doc Wiley and Mega Man, happened to our childhood. Mario and Luigi, those weird dinosaur things from Bubble Bobble, these were Tom Rhodes is a writer and filmmaker the hit-making characters of the day, all currently living in Ohio. He can be in glorious pixilated 8-bit resolution. reached through [email protected]. Wait long enough, and everything comes back in style. It’s true in fashion. It’s true in videogames. So, why shouldn’t it be true in videogame-based fashion?

Gamers everywhere are appreciating the games of yesteryear through compilation discs, legal and illegal emulator downloads, and even upright cabinets at the local mega-arcade/drinking establishment. The trend has been echoed in an explosion of apparel, mainly T-shirts, featuring designs inspired by or ripped straight from the most popular games of years past.

Now, for the first time since elementary school, you can proudly wear Mario on your shirt again. Except this time, Mario is offering “mustache rides.” Or offering to clean your pipes. Or offering not so subtle drug references on your boxers.

Back then, Mario was your digital best friend. Today, Mario is your homeboy.

“It’s a quick punch line versus an elite club of recognition,” says Michael McWhertor, author of the Geek on Stun blog, about why he doesn’t like shirts, like those mentioned above, that use familiar videogame images as a jumping off point for some ironic gag slogans. “Why does it have to be a joke? I’m semi- comfortable admitting in public and in front of peers that, yeah, I’m a gamer. But if Kuribo’s Shoe is a good design or aesthetically pleasing, why can’t we start there?”

McWhertor is reluctant to call himself an expert on videogame T-shirts, but he is the only person I know who compiled a list of the best videogame shirts of 2005. His choices for the awards reflect a preference for shirt designs that “incorporate a part of that [videogame’s] aesthetic and manage to make it smarter.” In other words, shirts that are inspired by games rather than dependent on games. “I don’t think there is anything wrong with nostalgia, but it doesn’t have to hit you over the head with a sledgehammer.” “People act like shirts have to be funny brain marked ‘Happy Memories’ or they’re pointless,” says Nathan Smart, always work.” author of satirical videogame news site The Game Rag. Smart says shirts that “Some people use their shirts to make a try too hard to be funny end up having connection with others. Smart says a the opposite effect. “Usually, a funny simple red Shigeru Miyamoto shirt from shirt falls flat, or a million people have it GameSkins can be a great icebreaker.” … so, no one thinks it’s funny anymore. I don’t want a dick joke on my shirt. Why “Whenever people ask me about the can’t a shirt just be cool? Why can’t I Miyamoto shirt, I always tell them it’s just have a shirt with Luigi on it?” the guy that invented Mario, Donkey Kong and Zelda, and they really love it.” You aren’t likely to find the kind of shirts For Smart, the more esoteric the image, McWhertor and Smart are talking about the better the shirt. at your local Hot Topic, but many amateur and professional designers are But Smart says he often runs into a using the internet to sell their own shirts different kind of gaming shirt fan. that evoke the memory of long lost “[When I see someone else wearing a games without eviscerating them. gaming shirt,] I think I should say, ‘Hey, I like Nintendo, too.’ But, I’m always “[The] big great daddy of the pitfalls [in wrong in my assumptions of the person - designing gaming shirts] is trying too they just wanted a cool ‘retro’ shirt. hard to be arch or trendy or ‘down with People [who wear gaming shirts] don’t the kidz,’” says Richard Hammond of even have to like videogames anymore,” Way of the Rodent, an online videogame he says. magazine that also happens to sell shirts. “Our very best-seller, for example, SplitReason’s Arciszewski thinks gaming is a very simple ICO tribute. It’s that companies are passing up a big emotional connection that’s important: opportunity to market to people like Shirts that prick the part of a gamer’s Smart who are looking for smarter, more esoteric licensed shirts. While companies fashion? That depends. McWhertor says like Nintendo are flooding the market the market needs to grow with the with licensed merchandise (and inspiring audience, offering shirts that appeal to plenty of bootleg knock-offs in the fashion as well as nostalgia. “At some process), Arciszewski says other point, the T-shirt wearing crowd will age developers and publishers “are not in beyond the point of people who wax tune with the tremendous merchandising nostalgic for Mario,” he says. opportunities facing them … Imagine a company like EA or Blizzard offering a Hammond from Way of the Rodent feels free officialWorld of Warcraft or that there will always be a market for Battlefield 2 or whatever t-shirt to apparel that brings about memories of everyone that buys one of their games. old games. “Gaming is mainstream, has Would that help combat piracy? a history and a strong future. Just as Absolutely ... “ people like to reference other mainstream cultural icons - film, music, For the gaming T-shirt business to grow, TV, books even - they will continue to Arciszewski says game companies are enjoy referencing videogames.” going to have to work more closely with the companies that peddle videogame But The Game Rag’s Smart is less apparel. Geek on Stun’s McWhertor optimistic. “I think once the ‘thrift store’ agrees, and hopes companies will start look goes out ... once the ‘80s revival to work with smart designers to push an dies down ... the big chains will drop untapped market of serious game fans. those shirts. Retro doesn’t get old, it’s “I think it’s a missed opportunity for already old.” publishers to not do this kind of thing.” Kyle Orland is a video game freelancer. So, is the trend in gaming T-shirts just He writes about the world of video game another retro fad, or something that will journalism on his weblog, Video Game become a more permanent part of low Media Watch. about my physical appearance. I’d just Jon Hayter, look cooler. I’d be able to blast my Producer BeeGee’s CDs at high-volume from the I wouldn’t really, I think. I’m kind of a stereo of my … oh wait. A flaw in my futurist, so picking a favorite “passed plan has just appeared. time” (har har), isn’t really something I Each week we ask a question of our staff and featured writers to learn a little bit can just do. TO THE FUTURE! about them and gain some insight into where they are coming from. This week’s Joe Blancato, question is: Content Editor, Julianne Greer, “Great Zombie Depression” Executive Editor The 1950s. I’d like to meet Jack Kerouac Well, I couldn’t go too far back as I and stop him before writes On the Road would not enjoy nearly the freedom or for the good of humanity. I could also equality I do today, being female. If I meet up with Hemingway and kill The could have that, and still go back, I’d Old Man and the Sea for the same need to check out ancient Greece in its reason. Jesus, it all went wrong after For heyday. Hey! I was an ancient history Kyle Orland, Tom Rhodes, Whom the Bell Tolls. major. “Geek on Your Sleeve” “Childhood Lost” It’s a toss up between the Roaring ‘20s Past era? Why would I want to be there? JR Sutich, and the Renaissance. Maybe the Roaring Higher disease, death, lower standard of Contributing Editor Renaissance? living, videogame technology was far The Revolutionary War period of less advanced (or worse, nonexistent!). American history. Being able to socially Richard Aihoshi, No, I’d prefer to live in the future. Not engineer my way into the Continental “Money for Nothin’ and Chips for far, perhaps fifty years or so; just long Congress and add some key words in Free” enough so I won’t have to see the day portions of the Constitution in order to Since my primary focus as a writer and when we surrender to our machine make certain government actions editor consists of RPGs and MMOs, I overlords. All hail the overlords! impossible and certain personal spend a considerable amount of time freedoms without question would be my living in the fantasy versions of past Russ Pitts, greatest contribution to mankind. Or I eras, mostly pseudo-medieval in nature. “Duck and Cover” could just kill butterflies in the Jurassic That’s close enough for me. Going back The ‘70s. For sure. Bell-bottomed pants, Period. in time would mean giving up too many high-heeled shoes, gold medallions, modern benefits and comforts. exposed chest hair … little would change