“I Lost a Lot, but I Feel That at This Point in My Life, I'm Winning
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singer/songwriter brother Ricco (signed to T.I.’s Grand Hus- tle label). The new sound is richly explored on her expressive lead single “Lose to Win,” which samples the Commodores “Nighshift” beat. Say what you will about Barrino, but the girl can blow. And she rips this track. gonna be ok. So I picked up [my] book and I just wrote and “I was thinking about what I’ve been through [while I was I wrote. I wrote everything that I was feeling. I wrote every recording that song], and not just about relationships,” the day. I went to the studio with the book and I put it out there.” 28-year-old says of the song that speaks about overcoming Yes, once again, Barrino is holding nothing back. But the heartache. “I lost a lot, but I feel that at this point in my life, thing is, she sort of feels that it’s her duty to be transpar- I’m winning again. The first thing I want is peace, peace of ent. She is a soul singer, after all, a soul singer that comes mind. Being able to be comfortable in my own skin, being from long line of musicians, including her uncles, the Bar- able to say ‘this is what I want to do’ instead of trying to rino Brothers, a ‘70s R&B band, and her first cousins on her please everybody else.” father’s side, K-Ci & JoJo of Jodeci fame. She admits that leading up to recording her fourth album, “I have to sing what I go through, I have to sing what’s The Side Effects of You, she wasn’t really even feeling going into real,” she stresses, thanking God that she also hails from a the studio. She was “feeling a certain way” and had a “bitter spiritual, praying family. “When I let it out there, I release it.” taste in her mouth.” She needed her label RCA to loosen the On her favorite track, “Lighthouse,” she really lets loose— reins a bit and let her have more creative control. Eventually, not exactly rapping, but not really singing—about being she got what she asked for, and the result is what she says is a light in the world despite her own mistakes and people’s her most forward, complete album to date. She worked exclu- never-ending judgment: “Bump the riches and the fame/I’m sively with one producer, Harmony Samuels, exploring and gonna be here anyway.” It’s become sort of a mantra for her. testing both her vocal and songwriting abilities. “The things that I go through, people go through every- “I didn’t want to go to the studio and just record a song,” day,” she says. “I’ve had some rough times and some moments she remembers, noting the chemistry she immediately shared that I wouldn’t say I’m very proud of, but I can say that for with the London-born Samuels. “I wanted these songs to be me, I’m glad that I was able to let it out. I believe that that’s special. I was on bed rest for nine months while I carried my when we become not real, that’s when we become fake— son. He kept trying to come early, so I couldn’t do anything. when we try to make things look like it’s just so perfect. I That time for me was hard, because I run this house; I pay believe that’s when you begin to lose yourself and you’re not the bills, I have to take care of my children—so that was a try- happy with who you are.” ing time for me. But in that time, I still felt like things were It’s statements like that that make you root for her. Judge if you must, but Fantasia Barrino has always had a certain quality, one that has made people want to see her succeed— “I lost a lot, but mistakes and all. Maybe it’s because she’s still young, but she’s lived more life than someone twice her age. Maybe it’s be- cause people, especially women, can relate to her issues and A I feel that at this her honesty about her shortcomings. Whatever the case, it’s TLANT hard not to get the feeling that not only does she deserve A some fun, she needs it. OLLECTION OLLECTION So far, it looks like 2013 just might be her year. After C point in my life, weathering yet another storm, she’s calm. After months of solitude and pouring out her heart into a bedside notebook, I’m winning she’s in control of her music. And after her last battle with the blogosphere, but more importantly herself, she’s confident. ELRY : BRITTANY JEMISON JEMISON BRITTANY : ELRY W On the brink of turning 29, she’s feeling better than ever. LL JE LL A again.” “Everything that I’ve talked about and put out there, it’s helped someone,” she reasons. “It might not have helped the person who had something smart to say or had a joke or whatever, but there’s 10 other people that’s inspired by my story. So I wouldn’t change anything. I’m just going to con- tinue to be that person that is open and honest because that’s ZARA BLACK AND WHITE DRESS (59.90); (59.90); DRESS WHITE AND ZARA BLACK me, that’s Fantasia.” upscalemagazine.com MAY 2013 53 050-54_Upscale_May13_Fantasia.indd 53 4/5/13 6:50 PM.