The Best Drama Club Fundraiser of All Time, Minus That Part Where We Accidentally Summoned a Demon ______

THE BEST DRAMA CLUB FUNDRAISER OF ALL TIME, MINUS THAT PART WHERE WE ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONED A DEMON ______

A one-act comedy by Brent Holland

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CAST OF CHARACTERS CAMERON, a sophomore in high school. A member of the honors drama class. Lacks self-confidence. TREVOR, Cameron's best friend, a junior and the stage manager for the honors drama class. LAURA, the only other sophomore of the honors drama class. Cameron has been crushing on her for ages. CARLI, the president of the drama club. Super popular. AMBER, another member of the drama class. NATALIE, an enthusiastic member of the drama class. KATIE, a member of the drama class. Always on her phone. AUSTIN, a less enthusiastic member of the drama class. MRS. BENNETT, the school's drama teacher. SHISINDRA, a demon in the form of a teenage girl. DONAGON, a crude imp summoned from the abyss. Nicknamed Donnie (if male) and Dani (if female). GUESTS, optional, any number, visitors to the haunted house who could also double as extra students in the drama club scenes.

The Best Drama Club Fundraiser of All Time… 5

(Lights come up on the crude and totally ineffective workings of a haunted house staged inside a drama classroom or theater. Several vampires are at a table dining on a corpse. The corpse is screaming. CAMERON, CARLI and AMBER are the vampires, and NATALIE is the corpse. AUSTIN is on the ground, also a corpse. After a few moments, they break character.) CAMERON: Well, that sucked. CARLI: It could have been worse. CAMERON: How? They weren't scared at all. CARLI: It still could have been worse. CAMERON: I guess they could have demanded a refund… NATALIE: Or attacked us. CAMERON: True. But realistically, it was about as bad as it gets. AMBER: Is Austin asleep? AUSTIN: (He doesn't move:) No. I'm in character. AMBER: You're a corpse. AUSTIN: Exactly. And I'm comfortable. CARLI: But there's no one coming. AUSTIN: Even better. (There is a scream from offstage.) NATALIE: Hopefully the demon room is doing a little better. CARLI: Yeah…it probably is. NATALIE: I don't know why our room is doing so bad. I would have thought vampires eating a corpse on a table would have been scary. CARLI: Me too!

CAMERON: It doesn't make sense. CARLI: What? CAMERON: I said that at the meeting. Vampires don't eat people at a table. CARLI: They could… NATALIE: It's still a scary concept. CAMERON: And the demon room is worse. I wish you would have let me set up the Necronomicon in there! We could have acted like we were summoning spirits. NATALIE: Is that the dusty old book you found in the prop room? CARLI: And a firm no. It's way overdone. CAMERON: The book of the dead is more overdone than vampires? AMBER: Vampires at dinner. It's a pretty fresh idea. CAMERON: It's stupid. CARLI: If you're going to be difficult about it, you can always go home. CAMERON: Look, I want to help. This is our only competition fundraiser and I want it to be big. CARLI: So do we! CAMERON: And this is only the first of our three weekends, so if something is broken we can fix it, right? (LAURA enters. She is dressed like a demon.) LAURA: What do we do if someone asks for their money back? (Cameron laughs.) Hey Cameron!

(She waves.) CARLI: Tell them no refunds. LAURA: I did, but they want to speak to the person in charge. CARLI: Mrs. Bennett is at the box office, right? NATALIE: She should be. CARLI: Send them to the box office. LAURA: Ok. (TREVOR, dressed in all black, comes in.) TREVOR: Another group coming back. CARLI: Back to places, people. (The vampires and corpses retake their spots…but the guests are totally not scared by the scene. Blackout. When the lights come up, Cameron is sitting on the stage with Laura.) LAURA: So, Katie was sitting there as the demon, checking her phone every 20 seconds. Even when people were in the room, if she got a notification she would pull her phone out. Your Book of the Dead idea would have been so much better. CAMERON: I thought so too. The vampire feast was horrible. People were either confused or bored. I wish they listened to us more. LAURA: We knew it would be like this. We'll get our turn. CAMERON: It's been tough to get used to…about half the time it's like I'm invisible. If it wasn't for you and Trevor, I would have probably dropped theatre. LAURA: It could be worse. Plus our time's coming—all of these people will graduate and then it will be our turn! CAMERON: Yeah, maybe. Guess we'll get to do it right when we're in charge.

LAURA: That's the bright side of being the only sophomores in the class…we get to learn from their mistakes. CAMERON: (Sarcastically:) You don't think there were mistakes tonight, do you? (MRS. BENNETT enters.) MRS. BENNETT: Mistakes? (In triumph, jokingly:) I have 52 dollars in my hand that says otherwise! LAURA: We only made 52 dollars? MRS. BENNETT: We made a little more last night, but I think word got out on Twitter that this is a dud, so people went somewhere else instead. LAURA: Maybe it will be better next week, since we'll be closer to Halloween. MRS. BENNETT: There's a drama club meeting on Monday to discuss what went right and wrong… Maybe we'll figure it out. (Laura looks at her phone.) LAURA: Well, my mom's here so I'll see you on Monday. (To Cameron:) Call me tomorrow, ok? CAMERON: Will do. MRS. BENNETT: See you on Monday! (Laura exits.) I was about to lock up. Are you waiting on a ride? CAMERON: I'm riding with Trevor, he's up in the booth. TREVOR: (From the booth…or off:) I was just giving the lovebirds some space! CAMERON: Shut it!

MRS. BENNETT: (To Cameron:) Oh really? (To Trevor:) I'm locking the front door. Just make sure you pull it closed when you leave. TREVOR: (Still off:) Gotcha! MRS. BENNETT: See you Monday, Cameron. CAMERON: See you then. (Mrs. Bennett leaves. A few moments pass and Trevor walks on, carrying an old book.) TREVOR: Thank god she's gone. Dude. I think this book is really, really old…not just a prop like we thought. CAMERON: No way. Really? TREVOR: The language is Turkish…at least as far as I can tell. It seems to be some kind of old Turkish…maybe originating in the Ottoman Empire. Dunno. It's not modern Turkish, that's for sure. CAMERON: (Skeptical:) How would you know that? TREVOR: Google Translate. Sometimes it stumbles on a word, or gives me the wrong translation, but most of the time I can figure out what it's trying to say. CAMERON: The text actually says something? TREVOR: Yeah…that's the freaky part. I thought it was a prop book and the words would be gibberish or something, but it's an actual language. I think this is a copy of the real Necronomicon. (Cameron laughs.) No, seriously! I've been translating it and this thing has curses and ways to summon spirits to do things to other people. I think the ancient Turks used this book to kill people.

CAMERON: (Mocking:) Oh yeah? Then summon us up a spirit to run over to Taco Bell real quick. I could go for a quesadilla. TREVOR: Ok. Then there's this… (He puts one hand on the book and chants:) Karanlik Olmasina izin ver! (All of the lights go out… The next couple of lines are spoken in the darkness.) CAMERON: Did you just do that? TREVOR: Yeah! CAMERON: You're messing with me, right? You didn't really do that, did you? (Trevor goes over and turns the lights back on:) TREVOR: Sorry—don't know how to turn them back on yet. I have to do it myself. CAMERON: (Letting it sink in:) Wait…you really did that. (He looks around.) There's no one else here? TREVOR: I think this book is the real deal, Cam. (Pause.) CAMERON: Do it again. TREVOR: What? CAMERON: Make the lights go out again. TREVOR: Ok. (He puts his hand on the book:) Karanlik Olmasina izin ver! (The lights turn out.) CAMERON: Holy crap. TREVOR: I know right? CAMERON: What else can you do? © Brent Holland This is a perusal copy only. Absolutely no printing, copying/distribution or performance permitted. The Best Drama Club Fundraiser of All Time… 11

(Trevor turns the lights back on.) TREVOR: Nothing. CAMERON: Nothing? TREVOR: I've only had the book a couple of days! CAMERON: (Grabbing for the book:) What else is in there? TREVOR: The translating is slow…like painfully slow. I figured out the light thing while I was up in the booth during the haunted house. Remember when the lights went out and I said it must have been a power thing? CAMERON: That was you? TREVOR: That's when I figured it out. You have to have your hand on the book when you say it, and you have to say it right. I can't figure out how to get the lights back on. CAMERON: That's still really, really cool though. You in a hurry to go home? TREVOR: Are you kidding? Get your phone out—let's figure out what else we can do with this. (Blackout. Lights come back on the two of them…several hours later and still in the theater.) CAMERON: (Hand on the book:) Tamamen Sessiz! (Nothing.) You try. (Hands the book over.) TREVOR: Tamamen Sessiz! (Nothing.) Maybe it was beginner's luck. (Cameron puts his hand on the book.)

CAMERON: Karanlik Olmasina izin ver. (The lights go out. Immediately going towards the light switch:) Sorry. Had to remind myself that this actually does work. (He turns the lights back on.) TREVOR: You would think we would've gotten something else right by now. We've tried all of the cantrips and can only get that one to work. CAMERON: I wonder if we would have better luck in the other sections? TREVOR: I dunno. It says right at the front that the cantrips are the easy things… If we can't get these to work… CAMERON: Do you think we should turn this book in? Could we get in trouble for keeping something like this? TREVOR: Who would we turn it in to? CAMERON: I dunno…the government? (Trevor shoots him a look like his brain has stopped working.) Never mind. Dumb idea. How about we try to summon something? Flip to the summoning section. TREVOR: (Flipping ahead:) You think that's a good idea? CAMERON: What can we summon? Can we summon money? Food? TREVOR: From what I read while I was up in the booth I don't think it works like that. CAMERON: What's this word? TREVOR: (Looking:) Iblis? That word's in there a lot. Google translate says it means "demon." I think there's a way to summon demons to do what you want. CAMERON: We should do that! © Brent Holland This is a perusal copy only. Absolutely no printing, copying/distribution or performance permitted. The Best Drama Club Fundraiser of All Time… 13

TREVOR: (Sarcastic:) No thanks… I don't need a quesadilla that bad. CAMERON: (Taking the book:) Give me that, I'm hungry. (Looking at the book, then at his phone:) Buyuk seytani caririyorum Shisindra! Taco Canina git ve bana biraz yemek getir! TREVOR: (After a beat:) What was that supposed to be? CAMERON: Thought I'd summon the great demon Shisindra to make a Taco Bell run for us. (Behind them, SHISINDRA enters, carrying a bag of Taco Bell food. She is dressed in all black.) TREVOR: Ha! Hopefully she remembers the fire sauce. (Shisindra looks agitated for a moment and then walks back offstage.) CAMERON: (Looking at his phone:) Wow… It's almost 2 A.M. We should probably get out of here. TREVOR: Yeah. Let's get some sleep and try again tomorrow. CAMERON: I really am hungry though. Want to stop somewhere? SHISINDRA: (Entering, going to one knee and presenting the bag of food as a gift:) I have done your bidding. (This scares Cameron and Trevor.) TREVOR: What the hell? CAMERON: Who are you?? SHISINDRA: I am Shisindra. You summoned me, and I have brought you what you desire. (Trevor reaches in and pulls out a LOT of fire sauce.) I was unsure how much fire sauce you required. (A beat.)

TREVOR: What the hell. (Shisindra is still on one knee.) SHISINDRA: Do you have a further request? (A beat, they stare at her.) CAMERON: Uh…what? SHISINDRA: (Some attitude coming into her voice:) You summoned me. I assume you wanted more of me than to pick up a pair of quesadillas. CAMERON: Quesadillas? SHISINDRA: It's what you requested, right? CAMERON: Uh…yes? SHISINDRA: Then there must be something else. Also, you're not speaking Ottoman Turkish… Didn't you summon me in— TREVOR: Wait…you're a demon? SHISINDRA: Of course… TREVOR: But you speak English? SHISINDRA: I speak an archaic form of Abyssal common. What you are hearing is English. TREVOR: How? SHISINDRA: Magic. Wait—you summoned me without knowing what you were summoning? CAMERON: I just read it out of the book. It was a joke… SHISINDRA: I am Shisindra of the third plane of the abyss and you summoned me as a joke?? CAMERON: (Sheepish:) Yeah…sorry. SHISINDRA: (Standing up:) Well…ok then. Well, if you don't need me for anything else, go ahead and dismiss me.

TREVOR: (Looking through the book:) How do we do that? SHISINDRA: Next page. (Trevor flips the page) About halfway down. (She points.) TREVOR: Here? SHISINDRA: That one. (She points.) TREVOR: Ok. Here goes— CAMERON: Wait! TREVOR: (Stopping:) What? CAMERON: Exactly what are you capable of? SHISINDRA: What do you mean? CAMERON: Demons… What can you guys do? How have you served people before? SHISINDRA: It has been almost 200 of your years since I was last summoned, but things don't change much. As a demon from the third plane of the abyss, I'm quite powerful. CAMERON: Can you make the lights go out? (The lights go out.) TREVOR: Wow. (The lights come back on.) SHISINDRA: Parlor tricks. How about this? (Nothing changes.) TREVOR: (Has been blinded:) Big deal, the lights are out again. CAMERON: (Confused:) No they aren't.

TREVOR: I can't see! (Shisindra smiles.) CAMERON: You did that? SHISINDRA: Yes. CAMERON: Well, undo it! SHISINDRA: As you command. (She snaps.) TREVOR: (Can see now:) Whoa… That was trippy. SHISINDRA: At your command I can influence weak-minded people. (To Trevor:) No offense. TREVOR: Huh? SHISINDRA: I can't create things from thin air, like money…but I can retrieve things to some extent. I have a great deal of influence in this plane of existence. (A beat.) CAMERON: Can we have a moment, please? (They walk away from Shisindra.) (To Trevor:) We can't dismiss her. TREVOR: Duh. What should we use her for? (They take a moment.) I'm drawing a blank… Never thought I would have my own demon. CAMERON: Me either. I think we should start small. TREVOR: Good idea. Like what? CAMERON: I have an idea. (They walk back to Shisindra.)

How long can you…uh…stay on this plane? SHISINDRA: For as long as my services are needed. CAMERON: Excellent. Here's the plan… (Blackout. When the lights come back on, it is Monday and KATIE, Laura, Carli, Austin and Amber are in class waiting for the drama club meeting to start.) KATIE: (Pulling out her phone:) I can't believe you didn't see her today. (She shows Carli a picture.) CARLI: I leave school after Honors Theatre. Where is she from? KATIE: I heard she's from New York and has done real Off- Broadway work. (Natalie enters.) NATALIE: You talking about the new girl? AMBER: That's all anyone's talking about. CARLI: I don't know why. Looking at her picture, she's not that pretty. AUSTIN: She's a babe. CARLI: Shut up. AUSTIN: Jealous much? NATALIE: She's in my chemistry class. I hear she's done professional theatre! AMBER: Auditions are in two weeks. I don't need any extra competition in my life. CARLI: I'm sure you are all overreacting. KATIE: I don't know… (Mrs. Bennett enters.)

MRS. BENNETT: Hey gang. Everyone here? LAURA: We're missing Cameron and Trevor. CARLI: Trevor just texted me--they're almost here. Got a question though… MRS. BENNETT: Is it about Sheena? CARLI: (Acting like she doesn't care:) Is that the…uh new girl? MRS. BENNETT: Yes. Her real name sounds Middle Eastern, but she told me to call her Sheena. LAURA: So you talked to her? MRS. BENNETT: I did. She has a big theatre background, so I invited her to come by today. AMBER: You didn't! MRS. BENNETT: Now be nice. She's new to the school and I want you all to be welcoming. She and I talked a bit and she has some really great ideas. CARLI: (Sarcastic:) Wonderful. MRS. BENNETT: I'll be right back, going to get something from my office. (Mrs. Bennett exits.) AMBER: Why would she transfer here two weeks before auditions? LAURA: I'm sure it will be fine. NATALIE: You haven't seen her! (Trevor, Cameron and Shisindra enter, laughing.) CAMERON: So, you met Mrs. Bennett earlier, right? SHISINDRA: (Acting and dressed as a teenage girl:) I did! She seems really awesome.

CAMERON: She's the best. (Seeing everyone staring at them:) Hey guys! AUSTIN: (Looking at Shisindra, obviously impressed, then to Carli:) Oh, yeah…not attractive at all. No sir-ree. You were totally right… CARLI: (Whispering:) Shut up. CAMERON: This is Sheena. She's new. (Cold reception from all but Laura.) LAURA: Nice to meet you, Sheena. I'm Laura! SHISINDRA: Nice to meet you, Laura. (To Cameron:) She's the one you told me about, isn't she? (Laura beams. To Laura:) Cam is just the sweetest, isn't he? We have three classes together, and I don't know what I would have done without him today. (This doesn't make Laura too happy.) LAURA: Oh… TREVOR: Where's Bennett? KATIE: In the back. CARLI: We're going to start as soon as she gets in here. TREVOR: I'll go get her. (Trevor exits. There is a beat.) AMBER: So, uh…where are you from, Sheena? SHISINDRA: I've lived all over, but for the last three years we lived in Floral Park, just outside of New York. My parents moved there so I could concentrate on my acting. (The girls are uncomfortable with this.)

NATALIE: So…you get much work? SHISINDRA: Oh…not as much as I'd have liked… (The girls breathe.) My parents would only let my agent book me 9 months of the year due to school work. (Panic sets back in.) KATIE: Why'd you move here? SHISINDRA: My dad's job made him an offer he couldn't refuse, and since I am graduating and going to USC next year, I figured it wouldn't be too much of a setback to my career. KATIE: USC? SHISINDRA: I spent last summer there doing summer workshops with the acting professors. It was sooooo much fun! (A beat.) AMBER: Are you planning on trying out for the musical? (Mrs. Bennett and Trevor enter.) MRS. BENNETT: Sorry about that. I got a call on my office phone. (Looking at Shisindra:) Wow…you work fast. SHISINDRA: (Acting embarrassed:) Oh it was nothing… CARLI: What was nothing? MRS. BENNETT: Sheena has a connection to the costume designer at Riverfront Theatre. She called and offered to let us borrow a bunch of stuff for this weekend's haunted house! AUSTIN: That's awesome! (All the girls glower at Austin. A bit less enthusiastic:) I mean, well…it is awesome. Come on… MRS. BENNETT: Is everyone here?

TREVOR: Looks like it. MRS. BENNETT: Well, the haunted house was a bust. We were slammed on social media and my first thought was to shut things down and just cut our losses. LAURA: But… MRS. BENNETT: But after speaking with Sheena over lunch, I think we can make this work. Apparently, she ran a big charity haunted house in Floral Park for the last two years, and she has some really terrific ideas. SHISINDRA: Well, I admit that I got a lot of good ideas for what we could do here from Cameron and Trevor. If they had been with me in New York…it would have been epic. CARLI: Are we just going to drop all of our planning and what we've been doing with this and start over? (Mrs. Bennett looks at Shisindra, who nods "yes.") MRS. BENNETT: Yes… I think that would be the right thing to do. So everyone sit down and let's figure out how to make this thing work. CAMERON: We have some really great ideas—first, we're going to completely get rid of the vampires eating at the table… (Blackout. When the lights come back on, Laura is sitting as Cameron enters. The stage is set again as a haunted house, but much more elaborate this time.) Hey Laura…have you seen Sheena? LAURA: No… (Cameron starts to walk off.) Hey Cam…got a minute? CAMERON: (In a hurry:) Uh…yeah what's up?

LAURA: Are you ok? CAMERON: I'm great. I'll be better if everything goes well tonight and I can get some rest. This has been the busiest week of my life. LAURA: Yeah…I haven't seen you at all. You haven't called and you hardly ever answer my texts. Are you mad at me? CAMERON: (Taken aback:) Mad at you? No… I'm sorry, I've just been busy is all. LAURA: I know you have…and ever since Sheena got here you've been with her a lot and everyone is just so in love with her and she's always going on about how cool you and Trevor are… CAMERON: (Pause.) What's wrong, Laura? LAURA: It's nothing… (Pause.) It's not nothing. I feel like I've lost my best friend, Cam. CAMERON: (Being nice:) That's crazy! LAURA: I feel stupid for even saying anything, but I miss you. CAMERON: It's only been a few days. Trust me—once the haunted house is over, everything will be back to normal. LAURA: Are you sure? CAMERON: Absolutely. Hey—you doing anything after we close tonight? LAURA: Not really… CAMERON: How about a post-haunted house celebration meal? Just me and you. LAURA: You think we're going to have reason to celebrate? CAMERON: I sure do. No doubt about it!

LAURA: I'm in. (Looking at her phone:) I guess I had better get in costume. See you in a few. (She leaves, passing Trevor holding the Necronomicon.) CAMERON: Sup Trev? TREVOR: We need to talk. CAMERON: About what? TREVOR: I was up until after 2 A.M. reading this and doing research. CAMERON: Find anything else we can use? TREVOR: No. But I found this: It's translated so bear with me. (Reading:) "Demons summoned from the planes of the abyss should be used sparingly and in short intervals. The longer such spirits stay on the material plane—that's us by the way—the more they grow in power and desire for control." CAMERON: That doesn't sound like Sheena though… TREVOR: Doesn't it? Have you noticed that all of the theatre girls have gone from hating her to fawning all over her in just a few days? Even Mrs. Bennett defers to her in class now. CAMERON: But that's because she's doing what we told her to do. TREVOR: I don't think we told her to convince Carli to step down as the drama club president, and I KNOW we didn't tell her to invite her friend (He makes air quotes:) to the haunted house tonight. Have you seen that guy? CAMERON: Not yet, but I'm sure it will be fine. She's just trying to make it better for us. We still have control over her, right? She still has to do what we say. TREVOR: As long as we have the Necronomicon we do. But I think we should dismiss her as soon as possible.

CAMERON: We'll see. TREVOR: I need to go set up the booth. Here…you're going to need this (Gesturing to the Necronomicon:) in the main room. Seriously though, Cam, we need a plan. CAMERON: Got it. We'll figure this out after tonight. (Trevor leaves and Cameron starts to set up as Shisindra, Katie, Carli and Natalie enter.) CARLI: (Continuing the conversation:) That would be a great idea for a Christmas fundraiser! AMBER: Do you think they'll let us dress up like elves that day? SHISINDRA: I'll talk to the principal. I'm sure I can get her to see it our way. (Seeing Cameron:) Oh, hey Cam! KATIE: Hey Cameron! (The others acknowledge him as well.) CAMERON: What's this about Christmas? NATALIE: Sheena has the BEST idea to fund our whole spring musical! CAMERON: We're doing a spring musical? NATALIE: The only reason we weren't going to do it before was because we didn't have any money! KATIE: But that's not going to be a problem for us anymore! CAMERON: I see. Hey…Sheena, can I talk to you for a minute? SHISINDRA: Sure thing, Cam. (To the girls:) I'll see you in the dressing room in a second. (The girls all exit, still talking.) What's up? CAMERON: What's this about Christmas?

SHISINDRA: What? CAMERON: We haven't talked about that. SHISINDRA: It's just talk. I was going to run the idea by you and Trevor tonight. We're going big! CAMERON: Are you even going to be here at Christmas? SHISINDRA: (Innocently:) What do you mean? CAMERON: I thought you wanted us to dismiss you. I thought the plan was for you to help us with the haunted house and then we would send you back. SHISINDRA: Have I done something wrong? CAMERON: No…it's just that— SHISINDRA: I've tried to do everything you've wanted of me… I've been a good servant, haven't I? You wanted me to help you with this and I have… You and Trevor are more popular than ever. If I messed up…I'm really sorry. (Puppy dog eyes.) CAMERON: It's ok… I just… SHISINDRA: I won't make any more plans without telling you and Trevor first. I promise! CAMERON: Ok. (A beat. DONAGON walks in. Donagon is a demon…in obvious demon makeup.) DONAGON: (Very unrefined:) Where are you putting me, boss? SHISINDRA: You're going to be in there, Donnie. DONAGON: So if one of these jerks gives me lip, I'm allowed to eat them, right? SHISINDRA: (Looking at Cameron, laughing:) He's joking. (To Donagon…motherly:) No…you are not allowed to eat our guests.

CAMERON: When you said you were bringing friends, I didn't think you meant this! SHISINDRA: Donagon is an imp from the third plane. Donagon, this is Cameron. He is one of my masters here on the material plane. DONAGON: Yeah…master. Good one. (He laughs.) SHISINDRA: (Pointedly:) How about you go and get ready, Donagon. DONAGON: (Missing his cue:) Ready for what? SHISINDRA: Ready to get started. (Glaring:) Go. DONAGON: No need to get snippy. (Grumbling as he leaves:) You could have left me in the abyss if you just called me here to be a jerk. No eating anyone…no fire…no torturing anyone. CAMERON: We don't need him here! SHISINDRA: Relax! It'll be fine. Donnie's served me many times over the years and he can be trusted. CAMERON: Who summoned him? SHISINDRA: (Playfully:) I did! He's bonded to me in the abyss, so I can summon him when I need him to do something for me. CAMERON: How many demons do you have bonded to you? SHISINDRA: Strictly speaking, Donagon's an imp… CAMERON: How many? SHISINDRA: Only a dozen or so. Don't worry—I won't summon anyone else without your permission. CAMERON: A dozen?? SHISINDRA: Relax, Cam. We've got this under control. (Mrs. Bennett enters.)

MRS. BENNETT: Who was the ugly little demon that just ran past me? Do I know that kid? SHISINDRA: That's Donnie. He's a freshman. MRS. BENNETT: You need to tell him to watch his mouth. SHISINDRA: (Cheerily:) Will do, Mrs. Bennett. MRS. BENNETT: Everyone needs to get to places. We already have a line out front waiting to get in! CAMERON: We do? How many? MRS. BENNETT: Probably a hundred or so. It's more than we had all last week! SHISINDRA: Looks like all of Cameron's hard work has paid off. MRS. BENNETT: Wow…you two really are the best. Thanks so much for all you've done. CAMERON: You're welcome. MRS. BENNETT: Now let's all get to places! SHISINDRA: I'm headed to the demon room now. (Indicating the Necromonicon Cameron is holding:) Mind if I use that as a prop tonight? CAMERON: I was supposed to give it back to Trevor. MRS. BENNETT: That book would look great on the demonic altar. (She exits.) SHISINDRA: I'll give it back to Trevor when we're done. CAMERON: You sure? SHISINDRA: Of course. Just need it for a prop.

CAMERON: (Handing it over:) Just make sure you give it back to Trev. He's still working in it. SHISINDRA: Sure thing, Cam. (She smiles evilly as she turns away to exit. Blackout. Lights come back on after the haunted house. All of the drama kids are there except for Trevor. They are all in costume and super excited.) AUSTIN: Did you see the family with the twins? Oh my god, that one kid nearly jumped to the ceiling! KATIE: Or the old lady with the walker! (Everyone gets kind of somber for a second.) Oh come on, I'm not the only one who thought that was funny! That little freshman in the demon suit nearly had her running full speed. (They all laugh.) CARLI: He really got into character. I think he bit that one dude. SHISINDRA: (Laughing:) Yeah…that was funny. NATALIE: That was nonstop! I bet we saw a thousand people tonight! AUSTIN: At least! I can't believe we were at that for four hours. LAURA: How much money do you think we made? (Mrs. Bennett walks in:) MRS. BENNETT: I last counted about 20 minutes before we sold our last ticket, but at that point we had made…drumroll please…. (They all do a drum roll.) Five thousand, three hundred and thirty dollars! (They all cheer.)

CAMERON: How? MRS. BENNETT: On top of ticket sales, people were giving super generous donations. It was crazy! CARLI: So we get to do a spring musical? MRS. BENNETT: If tomorrow night goes as well as this, I don't see why not. KATIE: Yes! MRS. BENNETT: Can one of you come count the money with me in the office? I need a second person to sign off on how much we took in. LAURA: I'll do it! MRS. BENNETT: Ok. Let's get this done. (Mrs. Bennett and Laura exit.) SHISINDRA: I think this calls for a celebration! KATIE: Let's go eat. AMBER: I'm in. Where we going? CARLI: How about Big Doug's? NATALIE: Pizza works. AUSTIN: I would but I'm on lockdown because of my grades. I had to sweet talk my parents to let me even come to this. NATALIE: That sucks. KATIE: Better you than me. AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah. CARLI: You coming, Cam? CAMERON: I probably shouldn't. SHISINDRA: Yeah you should!

CAMERON: But— SHISINDRA: (Pulling Carli over:) Look at how sad Carli would be if you don't go with us… (Carli puts on a pouty face.) SHISINDRA & CARLI: Please? CAMERON: (After a pause:) Ok. (They all cheer.) SHISINDRA: Ok…let's get out of here then. (Everyone but Austin exits. A few minutes have passed, and Laura enters. Austin is sitting on the stage.) LAURA: Where is everyone? AUSTIN: They went to Big Doug's. LAURA: Cameron wasn't with them, was he? AUSTIN: Sheena and Carli talked him into going. LAURA: Oh. AUSTIN: I can't go because Jones gave me a D in chemistry. LAURA: Yeah… AUSTIN: (Seeing she is hurt:) You ok? LAURA: I'm fine. It's nothing. (Trevor enters.) TREVOR: Hey Laura…seen Cam? LAURA: Apparently he went to Big Doug's with Sheena and Carli. TREVOR: Crap. I needed to talk to him. (Austin's phone beeps.)

AUSTIN: Well, the jail warden has arrived. Time to go back to C Block. TREVOR: You'll be here tomorrow night, right? AUSTIN: I may have to tunnel out, but that's the plan. TREVOR: (Laughing:) Fight the good fight, Austin. AUSTIN: You know it. (He exits.) TREVOR: (Seeing Laura bummed:) You ok? LAURA: Cameron and I were supposed to go out tonight after we finished. I guess he forgot. TREVOR: I doubt it. LAURA: He's not here, is he? TREVOR: He's been crushing on you for as long as I've known him. He wouldn't have blown off dinner with you. LAURA: What if Carli asked him? TREVOR: Who knows? I mean, I doubt it. (Pause.) LAURA: What did you need to talk to him about? TREVOR: (Suddenly uncomfortable:) It's nothing. LAURA: Doesn't look like nothing. (Donagon walks in angry.) DONAGON: How long were you jerks going to leave me under that table? LAURA: What? DONAGON: I was in the butcher room scaring people from under the table. The two girls in there with me went to check if

we were done and they never came back. Where the hell is everyone? TREVOR: They all went to get pizza. DONAGON: Someone's getting throat punched over this. Is Shisindra with them? LAURA: Who? DONAGON: (Correcting:) Sheena. She didn't go, did she? LAURA: I think she did. DONAGON: Grrrrrr! (Imitating Shisindra:) "I won't leave you there all night again, Donnie…I promise!" What a crock. LAURA: What? DONAGON: Nothing. Just ignore me. Everyone else does! Do yourself a favor—never trust a demon! I'll be upstairs on the couch if you need me. (He exits in a huff.) LAURA: What did he mean by that? And you don't think he's actually going to stay here? TREVOR: Nah...typical…uh…freshman drama. You know how they are. LAURA: Maybe… Where did Sheena find him? I think I would have noticed him at school. TREVOR: (Uncomfortable:) Yeah. LAURA: (Studying Trevor:) Seriously, Trevor…what's bothering you. TREVOR: I shouldn't talk about it. LAURA: Uh huh… Spill it. TREVOR: Ok… I really needed to talk to Cam, but he's not here so here goes… Wait. Where's my book? © Brent Holland This is a perusal copy only. Absolutely no printing, copying/distribution or performance permitted. The Best Drama Club Fundraiser of All Time… 33

LAURA: That old dusty one? TREVOR: Yeah. I need that. LAURA: Last time I saw it, Sheena was using it in the demon room. TREVOR: Cam was supposed to hold on to it. LAURA: You're talking about the brown book you're always carrying around, right? TREVOR: Yeah…that's it. LAURA: It was definitely on the altar in the demon room. Sheena was acting like she was reading from it. TREVOR: That sucks. Did you see Cam with it afterwards? LAURA: No. It's not that big a deal though, right? TREVOR: It's a super big deal. Be right back. (He dashes off and after a few moments comes back on.) I don't see it in the demon room. (He picks up his phone and tries to call Cameron.) LAURA: You calling Cameron? TREVOR: Yeah. Voicemail. LAURA: His phone is dead. I already tried. TREVOR: Why would he let his phone die?? (He kicks over a chair.) LAURA: (Trying to be calm:) You really need to explain this to me… What's so important about that book? It's just a book! TREVOR: No—it's much more than a book. (Blackout. Lights come back up on the next day. Mrs. Bennett is setting up as Trevor and Laura enter.)

MRS. BENNETT: Hey guys! TREVOR: Hey Mrs. Bennett. Anyone else show up yet? MRS. BENNETT: Nope. You guys are the first. You mind finishing up in here so I can set up the concessions? LAURA: Sure thing. MRS. BENNETT: Thanks. If we have a rush like we had last night I want to be ready! (Mrs. Bennett exits. Trevor waits until she leaves.) TREVOR: Ok…so no matter what, we have to get that book back. If we can make it smooth, fine…but if not, we have to take it back by force. LAURA: Can we do that? TREVOR: Don't worry—I have a plan. LAURA: You do? TREVOR: Sort of. I have the overview of a plan. I'm gonna have to wing a lot of it. LAURA: Anything you need me to do? TREVOR: Probably, but I don't know what yet. LAURA: Sounds like a pretty good plan. TREVOR: If it works, it'll be epic. LAURA: What if she doesn't bring the book with her? TREVOR: She'll have it. That book's where all the power is. (A beat.) Ok. I'm going to get the booth set up to run without me and then go get ready. LAURA: Be careful, Trevor. TREVOR: Don't worry. We got this. We'll get the book back and dismiss Sheena and then everything will be back to normal.

(Trevor leaves as Donagon walks on.) DONAGON: (Seeing Laura:) Oh…it's just you. LAURA: Yep. Just me. DONAGON: Anyone else here yet? LAURA: Not yet. DONAGON: Well, my, uh…parents dropped me off early so… LAURA: You can drop that, I know you're a demon. DONAGON: (Insulted:) Says who? LAURA: Trevor told me. DONAGON: (Mumbling to himself:) The slow kid runs his mouth too much. LAURA: What? DONAGON: I said…uh…that's nuts. I'm just a freshman. That's why you don't know me. LAURA: Oh yeah? Where'd you go to middle school? DONAGON: (Acting like he's thinking about it:) Oh yeah… I went to uhh… (Makes a rude gesture while saying:) I went to Nunyabusiness Primary school in Leavemethehellalone, Arkansas. (At this, laughter is heard as Austin, Katie, Carli, Natalie, Amber, Shisindra and Cameron enter. Shisindra has the Necronomicon under her arm. Carli has her arm around Cameron.) CARLI: I don't think the waitress had any clue! AMBER: I know! How did you do that, Cameron? SHISINDRA: (Laughing:) You're just too much, Cam! CAMERON: I hope that stain comes out. (They all laugh.)

Oh, hey Laura! KATIE: Mrs. Bennett here yet? LAURA: Yeah. She's up at concessions. (Donagon storms up to Shisindra.) DONAGON: You left me here last night! SHISINDRA: (Taken aback:) Oh…hi Donnie. DONAGON: Don't "Hi Donnie" me! You left me here all night! NATALIE: You know this freshman, Sheena? DONAGON: And why in the hell do I have to be a freshman? You didn't tell me that everyone thinks freshmen are like cockroaches at this school. Everybody looks at me like I smell bad and kicked their grandma. KATIE: Well, this just got kinda awkward. I think I'll go find Mrs. Bennett now. AMBER: Yeah me too. (All of the girls and Austin exit with Amber and Katie.) SHISINDRA: We can talk about this later. DONAGON: We're gonna talk about it right now! I didn't sign up for any of this crap. SHISINDRA: Go to the back, we'll talk there. DONAGON: Fine. (He storms off.) SHISINDRA: Be back in a minute, Cam. (She exits.) CAMERON: That was weird. LAURA: Yeah. Can we talk a second?

CAMERON: Is it about last night? (Genuine:) I'm so sorry! I totally spaced that we made plans and I didn't remember until I got home. It's just that… LAURA: Look, I get that you have new friends… CAMERON: No. It was inexcusable. I'm totally sorry. LAURA: It's fine. I talked to Trevor… CAMERON: (Defensive:) About? LAURA: Shisindra. CAMERON: What about her? LAURA: She's a demon, Cam. That's not good. CAMERON: It's not like that at all. LAURA: She's not a demon? CAMERON: Well, she is, but she's— LAURA: Have you ever read anything at all about demons? CAMERON: Of course! LAURA: Do they ever do anything good? (A beat as Cameron is thinking.) Yeah. Nothing, right? Demons are bad. They are the definition of bad. CAMERON: But Sheena's done so much good for the department. Look how much money we made last night! LAURA: She's luring us all in! That's what demons do. CAMERON: How do you know that? Have you ever summoned a demon before? Are you some kind of expert on the topic? LAURA: Why are you getting angry?

CAMERON: Because finally everything's going well for me. People like me… Mrs. Bennett likes me! No one important has ever noticed me before!! LAURA: (Soft:) I noticed you. CAMERON: (A beat:) I didn't mean it that way, Laura. LAURA: Trust me—Sheena's going to turn. It may take days or weeks, but she's going to turn bad and I don't want you to get hurt. (There is a moment and then laughter as the gang returns from Mrs. Bennett.) CARLI: Mrs. Bennett says the line is already forming out there! We have about ten minutes before the doors open so we should probably all get our spots ready. AMBER: We're going to kill it tonight! CARLI: Ok—Natalie, Austin and Amber are in the butcher shop. Laura, you're doing the customer runs tonight, right? LAURA: Yeah… CARLI: That leaves me, Sheena, Cam, Katie and that creepy little freshman in the demon room tonight. Everyone good? (Everyone indicates they are ready. Shisindra enters.) SHISINDRA: Are we getting started? AUSTIN: Less than ten minutes. SHISINDRA: Cameron, mind helping me get the altar from the back? (Laura looks at Cameron.) CAMERON: Sure. I can get that for you. CARLI: Places, everyone!

(Blackout. When the lights come back on, the Demon room is in full scare mode as they are finishing scaring an unseen set of customers out of the room. The Necronomicon is on the altar.) DONAGON: (Laughing:) Did you see the look on the old man? (Shisindra and Donagon laugh.) KATIE: Did you bite him? DONAGON: Maybe a little. (He laughs.) CARLI: I think he was bleeding. You can't do that! DONAGON: Back off, honey—you're not the boss of me. SHISINDRA: (Puts her hand on the Necronomicon:) Hareket Etme! (Katie and Carli freeze.) CAMERON: What did you just do? SHISINDRA: Nothing big, Cam—a simple freeze and rewrite. Can't have them remember that! (She goes up to Katie and Carli and waves a hand.) Hatirlama! (Their expressions go blank.) Donnie. You can't bite people yet. DONAGON: Why? You're in control, right? CAMERON: What does he mean by that? SHISINDRA: He's just joking around—right, Donnie? DONAGON: Huh? Oh yeah...whatever. CAMERON: What did you do to Katie and Carli? SHISINDRA: Just making them forget what happened. CAMERON: You can do that?

DONAGON: Duh. CAMERON: Have you done that to me? SHISINDRA: Of course not, Cam! I just don't want this to ruin our fundraiser tonight! I won't do it again if it makes you uncomfortable. CAMERON: Uh…ok. SHISINDRA: (Really putting on the charm:) If I had known it bothered you, I would never have done it.

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