WWW Frostburn 2019

Frostburn Board of Directors 2019 President: Andrew “Teppy” Tepper Treasurer: Shawn Ferry Secretary: Jessie Tymoczko Directors: Noah Stern, Bexx Rosenbloom

Team Leads Rangers: Gator, Hudson Medical: Dexter Gate: Mage DPW: Bambi and Shadetree Early Arrival: Monty Fire Conclave: Jilly Bean Placement: Bexx Staff on Duty: Teppy, Shawn, Jessie, Bexx

What?! Where?! When?! Team Bexx Rosenbloom Jessie Tymoczko Toni Dear (Cover Design)

THANK YOU To the BOD, Team Leads, TCOs, volunteers, and Frostburn participants for making the Frostburn magic happen!

!1 Port a potties Burning Bison Do not cross with mortorized vehicle

(8) BAR Art Installation Port a potties Wet land (Uncampable) (9) Loud Erudite Goblins on Fire (7) Rabbit Fires Efgy Grille (6) Phart Camp Temple burn site

(10)Death Cafe

(11) White Dragon Noodle Bar Port a potties Firewood by the load (12) Burly 10 Pint Men (5) Toddy Temple

(13) the BEST camp (4) H4I Sweat Lodge Pyramid of (14) Illumination Progress RV/Car Camping

Port a potties

(3) Burlington GOAT Factory

(2) Shawn Ruins Everything

(1) Priority 5 Port a potties

Open Camping Gate and parkin this way way this parkin and Gate Theme Camps ______

BAR TCO: Skat BAR is back and shittier than ever. We managed not to die last year, so are stepping it up this year to give us more things to fuck up. We once again intend to have heat, cheap beer and cheaper liquor. But you know, the best laid schemes o' mice an' men and all that. There will be sound for you to shake your money maker to, hopefully, unless it shits the bed. So stop by, grab a beer (or many), bitch at the staff (or admire their stalwart efforts at keeping this dive heated and open), mock the management (or take over and run this shit hole yourself), and gripe about the music while you do your mating dance.

Burly Ten Pint Men TCO: Shawn A merry band of medievalist misfits spreading the Pennsic love. Come join us around the fire for drinks, food, and hospitality. Pub songs and stories, fun and games, outrageous lies a specialty.

Death Café TCO: Moose What do a nihilist, a cynic, and an existentialist have in common? Coffee! We like to talk about dark stuff. We also like to drink caffeine well past the point of panic. This cafe runs mostly during the day-but stop by and try your luck past sundown. If the light is on the coffee is brewing. Our motto is "Go Sharks!" and we promise, we do not make the best cup of coffee.

Habitat for Insanity TCO: Teppy

Illumination TCO: Butterbean Lighting up the darkness since the beginning. And maybe some warm images.

Loud Erudite Goblins on Fire TCO: Hudson Loud, ˈlau̇d, adjective: (1) marked by intensity or volume of sound (2) clamorous, noisy (3) obtrusive or offensive in appearance or smell Erudite, er·u·dite, adjective: (1) having or showing knowledge that is gained by studying (2) profound, recondite

!2 Goblin, gob·lin, noun: (1) an ugly or grotesque sprite that is usually mischievous and sometimes evil and malicious (2) fantastical creatures at war with merriam webster over the above definition Fire, ˈfī(-ə)r, attributive noun: (1) the phenomenon of combustion manifested in light, flame, and heat (2) one of the four elements of the alchemists (3) burning passion (4) liveliness of imagination

Phart Camp TCO: Bexx Welcome to the Geo-home, Frostburn's official living room; the warmest, driest, coziest theme camp since 2016! No shirt, NO SHOES, no problem! We encourage you to BYO slippers and keep them in our slipper bin throughout the weekend; just remember to pick them up before you depart on Monday! 24-hour popcorn machine for all your snacking needs. Join us anytime we're home and ask to do some group art, music, games, fire spinning, mad-libs, kazoo-making, and more with us and a group of us will definitely most probably oblige.

Priority5 TCO: Birdperson Returning for our 7th year you HAVE to make sure you stop on by. Listen for the music coming from a space station, that will be us. Bringing you excellent dance tunes all weekend long, a bar that can't be passed on, and the world renowned bourbon tasting; the warmth and cheer is sure to be flowing at Priority5.

Rabbit Fires Grillé TCO: Basil Welcome to Rabbit Fires Grillé! This 5th dimensional business venture has been made possible by the partnership of the following camps:

White Rabbit: A chill hang space. Come join us for hookah, arts and chats in our heated yurt!

First Fires: Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor theft of entire camp in the gloom of night stays First Fires from the swift completion of their appointed shenanigans! Back, brand new, better than ever, and complete with that new-camp-smell, come visit the First Fires cave for the cozy cuddle puddle, camp library, open mic, cave painting, games and goofs and more!

Fromage Grillé: = cheese + bread + heat

!3 Shawn Ruins Everything TCO: Abi A small camp of southeastern folks who want the world to know that it will not, in fact, be fine—and it’s all Shawn’s fault.

The BEST Camp TCO: Mama Bear The BEST Camp Family is a group of seasoned burners who offer a laid back chill environment to hang out, have a drink, and laugh until your sides hurt. We keep an eternal fire roaring to warm your bones, and will be hosting a few wonderful events throughout the weekend. Stop by and decide for yourself what makes us the BEST.

The Burlington GOAT Factory TCO: Shane We celebrate the greatest of all time across all endeavors. We will channel Guy Fieri to take you to flavortown with our signature Four Loko recipes. Rumors are that Tom Brady will be on hand for autographs, and we will be doing dramatic readings of his birth chart as well as his inspirational training book, The TB12 Method.

The Toddy Temple TCO: Couch UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT. Black Metal. Black Tea. Black Liquor. Black Hearts.

White Dragon Noodle Bar TCO: Teapot The White Dragon Noodle Bar is back from our travels round the 'verse for another year of slingin' salty noodles and stingin' drunken wit. When the tent's open, stop by for a snack, a chat, a drink, a game, or yet another story about your very generous mother. At sundown stay for our world-famous vegan soy shiitake noodle soup!

!4 The Effigy ______

The Snowman Artists: The Great Northern Effigy Builders

The Temple ______

The Flamingos Artist: Grafton and Hyena This year a flock of flamingos will be descending on Frostburn to participate with us on the tundra. These fabulous, larger-than-life pink feather friends will strut their stuff from one end of camp to the other. Watch out for their outrageous antics throughout the event.

!5 Art Grant Recipients ______

Burning Burning Bison Artist: Phil Servita Burning Burning Bison! It's like Hungry Hungry Hippos, for adults. It's bigger, it's noisier, it's blazing bison heads, and all your marbles are ON FIRE!

Pyramid of Progression Artist: Wren Both audio and presence interactive, The Pyramid of Progression is a playful reminder to always continue moving onwards and upwards, composed of a 20x20x24 steel pyramid with 512 matrixed, ping pong ball diffused LEDs comprising an inverted pointed chevron.

Frosty/Burny Artist: Bambi Welcome to Frostburn. "When all's said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it's not so much which road you take, as how you take it." - Charles de Lint

Two-Word Poetry Artist: Bethany Remember the joy of magnetic fridge poetry? The fun of cheekily mixing pre-set words into something a little bit nonsensical, a little bit inspirational, sometimes a little bit cheeky? I want to bring that nostalgia to the wandering souls and hopeful drunks of the Frostburn playa. We'll create double-sided "magnets" to mount on a preexisting playa- tech fire bar. As people wander the burn, they can either add their own words or just update the existing ones with their own messages!

The Arbitrary Nature of Human Law Artist: Stilted Saint Who decides what's right and what's wrong? Here, we do. Out there, in the default world, a complex system of laws dictates what we're required to do at any point in time and at any place. Why? Why is something legal in one place, and against the law in another? How can some laws be so baseless and some regulations be so... arbitrary?? This art piece is inspired by one of those laws. See how you react to it. Will you follow it blindly? Will you comply, or will you ignore it? Will you take it as a challenge? This may become a popular photo spot. If I said "no pictures", would you listen?

!6 Important Trainings and Meetings ______

Medical: Friday 02/15 at 4:00 PM inside Gate

Ranger: Main training: Friday 02/15 at 7:00 PM inside Gate Back-up training: Saturday 02/16 at 10:00 AM **late arrivals/emergency back-up only**

Rangers should also attend the Effigy Perimeter safety meeting (listed below).

Fire Conclave: Saturday 02/16 at 4:30 PM at the Effigy **Mandatory** Friday 02/15 at 3:00 PM at Phart Camp **Optional**

Effigy Perimeter: Saturday 02/16 at 5:00 PM at the Effigy **Mandatory**

!7 Events ______

Ongoing Events

Cat Merchant Roaming A wandering, cloaked figure with kittens for the worthy.

Charlie’s Constant Cooker Loud Erudite Goblins on Fire We will have a towering grill, Made by Charlie L. If in it you'd like to heat, the stuff you like to eat, It's "Goblins!" you have to yell.

Hot Toddies and Black Metal No set schedule; check the sign to see if we’re open. The Toddy Temple New management. Same old recipe. Stop by for a hot toddy in The Temple.

Shawn Says “It’s Okay,” Probably Roaming With only minimal consideration, Shawn will tell you it’s okay, suggest an alternative, and point out real or imagined possibly fatal flaws in your plan. After all, there are no downsides to this plan and everything will, in fact, be fine.

!8 Thursday Events

Rhoncus Caseus 12:12 PM until gone Rabbit Fires Grillé Cheese, bread, butter heated to perfection and handed out.

Noodle Service 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM White Dragon Noodle Bar Swing by White Dragon Noodle Bar to fuel your evening with our playa-famous (since 2004!) vegan shiitake noodle soup. Noodles on at sundown, salty snark all other times. No replicants. Volunteers on duty, let us know how many to-go containers are needed and we will prep/deliver them to you!

!9 Friday Events

Yoga Flow with Stephanie 11:00 AM - 12:15 PM Priority 5 Come warm up from the frosty cold with Stephanie during an all-levels yoga flow class at 11am on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Class will consist of an ashtanga yoga flow sequence, including Sun Salutations A and B, core work, and floor poses. Whether it's your first time or you've been doing yoga for years, you are welcome to join us for this 75-minute warming flow that is sure to shake that chill.

Formaggio Alla Griglia 12:16 PM until gone Rabbit Fires Grillé Grilled bread with melted cheese* for your facehole. *Chao probably available.

Diego Puts Liquor in the Coffee 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM Death Café This is the event where Diego puts liquor in the coffee if you wish.

Giant Kickball Game 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM The Effigy Field behind Phart Camp It's kickball, but giant! Bring your crew and we'll bring ours. Inter-theme camp games encouraged. Will happen if it's snowing; if it's raining, our rain date will be Sunday at 2pm.

Tall Santa Visits the Tundra 3:00 PM Roaming Tall Santa will return again to the Tundra, spreading cheer and gifts. When you hear the bells and the lilting tones of the Christmas kazoo, you'll know that Santa is near. This is non-judgmental Santa, so don't worry about your naughty/nice status!

Goblin Market 3:00 PM - 4:20 PM (or until Goblin union mandated tea time break) Loud Erudite Goblins on Fire "Backwards up the mossy glen Turn’d and troop’d the goblin men, With their shrill repeated cry, 'Come buy, come buy.'" -- from Goblin Market, by C. Rossetti 1862

!10 Goblin Market and the Astral Apothecary will be open at various afternoon-like times to tend to the desires of the eye and the needs of the psyche. Once enraptured by our goods and services, the treasures and wisdoms of Goblinfolk, we will help you understand decommodification by rejecting your filthy human currency in lieu of your golden memories, silvery songs, and bronzed baby shoes. Remember to sign the Consent to Treatment, have High Tea with the Queen(s), and stop in at Karl and Charlie's Kitchen Commissary to have a bite of whatever's coming out of their Hot Place. Limited Time Offer, Terms and Conditions May Apply. Goblins are not Liable for Events. Your Fun May Vary, Ours Is More Reliable. Members GFL-CIG, Local #54.

Dirty Chippie Hai Tea 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM Dirty Hippie Chai Feeling those classy, upper crust, high-falutin' vibes, even though you're a dirty hippie at heart? Looking for a warm pick-me-up with a little extra spice? Stroll on down to Dirty Hippie Chai from 3-5pm for our Dirty Chippie Hai Tea. You'll love our hot chai (just don't ask about the "special spice") and we may or may not have other hot delights for you to sample. Feel free to BYO-anything-you-want-to-cook-over-the-fire, and come prepared to play some Very Important Games.

Flow Jam-Toe Jam 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM Phart Camp Conclave volunteers and flow arts enthusiasts! Did you bring your props/fuel/safety equipment/awesome music? Looking for skill sharing/movement meditation/other talented folx to perform with before we light that big beautiful effigy? Bring your toys for an info session/safety overview over at Phart Camp, then head on outside the dome to burn and show off your props!

Hot Sauce Soirée 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM Priority5 We've got hot sauces, and that's it! Come on down to P5 and bring some shit to put our hottest of sauces on or we're going to end up eating all the hot sauce by its damn self. I mean, we're talking MILLIONS of Scovilles here people. The hottest hot sauces known to man. Don't make us drink them straight... Please... PLEASE. Bring some meats, bring some of your favorite hot sauces, bring some vegan shit if you're into that, but get ready to spit fire and shit lava cuz we're not fucking around! I guarantee you won't be cold after this one.

Flight of the Ruffalo 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM Loud Erudite Goblins on Fire Do you like hot food? What about Buffalo wings? Have you considered the applications of Gamma Rays in cooking and making a powerful meal? Maybe your even like to eat when the sun is up and you can see your food? Well the Goblins are back with our

!11 signature Ruffalo Wings (they're like Buffalo Wings, but big, mean, green, and angry) and we're out to share them with you, not on the middle of the night, but in the light so you can see exactly what you're lying in your mouth. And check out the Goblin Market while you're here; it's always better to make deals on a full stomach, after all.

DnD Mystery 4:00 PM - 8:00 PM Rabbit Fires Grillé This modern DnD 3.75 game is set in a place so mysterious you don't even yet know what you're playing but by golly you will soon solve the mystery through game play. I'll provide heat and a table. Players get swag: character sheet pencil and set of dice to each of up to 8 players.

Nocturne: Frostburn's Premiere Goth/Industrial Dance Club 10:00 PM - 2:00 AM Phart Camp It's back by popular demand. Goth//Industrial//Darkwave//EBM nightclub. Your darkest attire and costumes highly encouraged; shibari and other light play welcomed. BYOB.

Midnight Meat 11:59 PM - 1:59 PM Loud Erudite Goblins on Fire Are you a fresh new face, or a well seasoned Frostburner? Either way, the Goblins would like to serve you at Midnight Meat. Uh... we mean, we want you to come and eat our meat. Er… we’re not looking to eat your meat (at least not too after the first date- consent and all). What? Right. Goblin Camp. Midnight. We'll have meaty meat and vegan meat (the Veggies Kids Hate) come have some hot meat with us in the middle of the cold night.

!12 Saturday Events

Cave Painting 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM After the great cave heist of 2018, our cave has gone through a soft reboot. We encourage you to leave your paint trace on our walls. Just remember to rinse yer heckin' brush when yer done. Rule of cool tropes and friendship all along plot devices encouraged. All original art may be thieved for the burlap market, we can only assume that's where the original wall panels went.

Bullseye Bodega 12:00 PM - 2/3:00 PM The Toddy Temple Come chuck a few arrows at the Bullseye Bodega. We'll have a faux archery range with a bow, laminated targets, suction cup arrows and some bodegalicious bullseye prizes- adult beverages and snacks. Safety 3rd!

The 12 Drinks of Frostburn 12:00 PM - 3:00 PM The BEST Camp Would you like a drink? How about another? How about 12? Best Camp will be serving 12 of our favorite cold weather boozy drinks one after another until we run out. Come join us for a drink or 12.

Laphroaig Agus Càise Grilled 12:20 PM until gone Rabbit Fires Grillé Can't read Gaelic? Nor can we but join us for fancy AF grilled cheese, and a Laphroaig 10yr toast to our beloved Hardhat. Those who consent will have their toast picture taken and sent to him.

Death in the Afternoon: Prose, Poetry, and Pancakes 12:30 PM - 1:30 PM Burly Ten Pint Men Read a poem or short story aloud and get a pancake or three in return. Boozy bonuses given to those that choose to read original works! Coffee will also be available.

!13 First Fires Open Mic 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM First Fires Cave at Rabbit Fires Grillé Don't just ~be~ the problem ~sing~ the problem at our open mic; where everyone is encouraged to get vulnerable in front of their fellow burners to share poetry, songs, stories, comedy, or whatever. Crying, laughing, and a general appreciation for the human experience may occur.

6th Annual Bourbon Tasting 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM Priority5 They say you should never drink bourbon alone, unless there’s nobody else around. For 6 grueling years you’ve dragged your mugs to P5 for the best small batch, peaty, throat burning, creamy, dark liquor. Again, this year we will be bringing a wide selection of America's finest spirit. Since the 18th century our ancestors have been imbibing in this delectable treat and we intend to carry the tradition forward and sail through the skies to Kentucky. Everyone is encouraged to bring their favorite bottle of bourbon to share with your fellow participants. The more, the merrier we will get. Please try to remember to bring a cup. We look forward to tipping a few back with you!

Goblin Market and the Astral Apothecary will be open at various afternoon-like times to tend to the desires of the eye and the needs of the psyche. Once enraptured by our goods and services, the treasures and wisdoms of Goblinfolk, we will help you understand decommodification by rejecting your filthy human currency in lieu of your golden memories, silvery songs, and bronzed baby shoes. Remember to sign the Consent to Treatment, have High Tea with the Queen(s), and stop in at Karl and Charlie's Kitchen Commissary to have a bite of whatever's coming out of their Hot Place. Limited Time Offer, Terms and Conditions May Apply. Goblins are not Liable for Events. Your Fun May Vary, Ours Is More Reliable. Members GFL-CIG, Local #54.

!14 don't ask about the "special spice") and we may or may not have other hot delights for you to sample. Feel free to BYO-anything-you-want-to-cook-over-the-fire, and come prepared to play some Very Important Games.

Middle Finger Face-Off 4:00 PM Priority5 We've all flipped off the asshole driver, the person talking shit across the street, and some have even been lucky enough to shove a middle finger right in someone's face. No matter the reason you gave 'em the bird, DAMN does it feel good. Bring your most powerful, creative, and otherwise absurd middle finger gestures to the annual Middle Finger Face-Off at Priority5! Contestants will be paired off and give each other the best middle finger they can fathom. Mob rule will dictate the winner as votes are cast by cheers. Rise to the top or fall short and forever be disgraced. See if you have what it takes to gain ultimate Frostburn Finger Fame!

Fire Conclave Safety Meeting 4:30 PM sharp The Effigy Field Meet up with the fire conclave team to talk logistics about organization, perimeter, designating safeties to be on standby with blankets, location for the fuel dump, and all that good safe stuff before we dazzle the people.

Fire Perimeter Safety Meeting 5:00 PM sharp The Effigy Field Interested in standing the line for safety perimeter at the effigy burn? Then please attend this brief meeting and learn what's involved. No experience required. All adult humans welcome.

The Effigy Burn with Fire Conclave ~9:00 PM The Effigy Field Gather together for a fire-spinning show and to burn the snowman down.

!15 1st (Maybe Only) Annual Burning Burning Bison Tournament After the effigy burns Great Northern Effigy Builders Have you lost your marbles? We have some here. They might be a bit warm, but that's probably good when it's cold at night. Grab your bison by the horns (well, handle, unless you've got Nomex gloves) and see who is the greediest marble muncher at Frostburn 2019.

!16 Sunday Events

Polar Plunge! 11:00 AM The pond near the greeter’s station Long a part of Frostburn lore, the Polar Plunge will live on again this year. Just because this is listed as an event in the What Where When is not an indication that it's a good idea. Use good sense and radical self reliance, including a way to preserve your appendages and get warm quickly afterwards.

The Sunday Paper ~12:00 PM ish Find Shawn/By Burly Ten Pint Men/All Porta-johns Help restock portajohns. TP provided.

Mr. Rogers Naked Sing-a-long 12:00 PM Habitat for Insanity Porch A beloved Frostburn tradition returns to the tundra. Created and hosted by Phat Mandee for several burns, now returns. We'll provide the song books, you bring your voice and as little clothing as you dare. Be there or be square.

Bottomless Mimosas and K-sadillas 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM Priority5 We're doing brunch proper at P5 on Sunday. Take your pants off and enjoy our hand crafted Mimosas. We'll have Bloody Marys too and be whipping up some grilled cheese to go with em. Hop in line for a quesadilla and enjoy the brunch house tunes as we all get weird! Feel free to bring over food to cook up and drinks to share. See you there!

Cat Poetry 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM Death Café Do you love your cat? Do you need a new vehicle to expound that love? We have several books by canonical authors so! Got your own poem? Read it. Not into that? Read one of ours!

!17 Grilled Whatevers Clever 12:40 until gone Rabbit Fires Grillé We're pulling out all the stops for this shindig you just come and see.

Easter Bunny Redux 2:00 PM Roaming And on the third day, the Easter Bunny will rise from his frosty tomb to spread more holiday confusion and hop his way into your hearts (or maybe just into your tents or igloos).

Giant Kickball Game (Potential Rescheduled Raindate Only) 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM The Effigy Field behind Phart Camp It's kickball, but giant! Bring your crew and we'll bring ours. Inter-theme camp games encouraged. Will happen if it's snowing, but let’s be real, no one wants to play sports in the cold rain.

Champagne Tower Toast 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM The BEST Camp You have almost made it through Frostburn so congratulate yourself with a drink and a toast at our annual champagne tower.

!18 The Temple Burn: The Flamingos 6:30 PM - 7:30 PM The Effigy Field As night falls, these fabulously friendly feathered friends will flock in formation on the open tundra. In all their excellent glory they will say goodbye as they bring the spirit of Frostburn to the skies as we send them off in flames.

!19 Monday Events

Exodus 2:00 PM All of Frostburn You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here! Please plan to be off Marvin’s Mountaintop by 2:00 PM on Monday.

That’s all for this year’s edition of the Frostburn What?! Where?! When?! See you next year!

!20