Discordianism Brochure
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
Sink Joining the A Game for Discordians and All Discordian Society Discordianism Sink is a game for Discordians and people of The Un-Religion much ilk. Please fill out the following: PURPOSE: To sink an object or a thing... in Name: _________________________________ Did you know that God is a crazy woman? water or mud or otherwise. Holy Name:_____________________________ The Greeks called her Eris, and the Romans RULES: Sinking is allowed in any manner. Hair:______ Eyes:______Brain:____________ called her Discordia, but you can call her what- Rocks work nicely. Sticks and feathers are a Hat:______ Moustache:___________________ ever you want. challenge. Ponds and lakes are the best element, Why ever do you want to be a member of She has come to tell you that you are free. though a puddle or an ocean is just as well. the Discordian Society? ___________________ She is chaos. She is the substance from which TURNS are taken by any person who gets the What kind of freak are you? _______________ artists and scientists build rythyms. She is the stuff up in the air. Is your name Matthew J. Wood? (Yes/No) spirit that with which children and clown laugh DUTY: It is the duty of all players, upon Do you want to be a Discordian? (Yes/No/Other) in happy anarchy. She is chaos. She is alive sinking, to find more stuff to sink. and she has come to tell you that you are free. UPON SINKING: The sinker should say, “I Now, total up the number of correct answers and There is no tyranny in the state of confu- sank it!” or something like that. divide by five. Multiply by 23 and subtract 6. This sion. There are no laws in the Discordian So- NAMING OF OBJECTS provides an advanced will be your membership number. DO NOT FORGET ciety. version. The sinker then names the sunk. For IT! Make five copies of this. Send two to the proper What is The Discordian Society? instance, “I sunk Ocean City, New Jersey!” authorities. Nail one to a post. Make one into a paper The Discordian Society has no defintion. boat and Sink it. Bury the other one. Our underground It has been called a disorganization of Eris agents will contact you. freaks. It has been called a geurilla mind the- atre. Episkopos Randomfactor prefers, “The HAIL ERIS! ALL HAIL DISCORDIA! World’s Greatest Asscociation of Whatever it brought to you by the Discordian Society, a non-prophet disorganization. Power to the people. Ban the fucking bomb. is we are.” But all of us agree that we don’t (K) No one 1997 All rights reversed. know what we are. Something that THEY won’t tell you is that every man,woman and otherwise on earth is a genuine and authorized Pope. DISEMBRACE Take advantage of your postition. Declare something already. What’s the Catch? THE Well,actually, there isn’t one. This is the sacred chao. Study it well. The Pentagon is Order. The Golden Apple of Discord Discordianism doesn’t have sins, taboos, or is Disorder. Both are elements of the chao, a damnation. If you like being whatever it is single unit of chaos. This means something, I tell GREYFACE you are, you’ll like Discordianism. you! This is important! And find happiness in a contented chao... The Inside Scoop! How do I get in on The Discordian Society? A Sermon on Ethics and Love One day, Malaclypse the Younger asked the Discordianism’s central dogma states that There are several divisions of the Discordian Soci- messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the there is no Discordian dogma. It is our firm be- ety. One is POEE, the Paratheo-anametamystickhood Goddess and request her presence for some des- lief not to hold firm beliefs. of Eris Esoteric. It was founded by one of the founders perate advice. Shortly thereafter, a radio came By that token, we have the Pentabarf, of Discordianism, Malaclypse the Younger. on by itself, and an ethereal female voice said, Discordianism’s Five Commandments. The Discordian Society is also made up of Cabals - “YES?” I. There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is small groups of Discordians.However, an Episkopos “O Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but of The Discordian Society is one who prefers au- Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Con- the Erisian Movement and it is your Erisian tonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as the fusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a Movement. Goddess sees fit. He speaks for himself and those that heavy burden from my heart!” II. A Discordian shall always use the Official like what he says. Also,there isthe Legionnaire, who “What bothers you Mal? You don’t sound well.” Discordian Numbering system. prefers not to create his own sect. “I am bother with fear an torment with terrible III. A Discordian is required during his early If you want in on the Discordian Society, then de- visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously clare yourself what you wish, do what you like, and one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, of a Hot Dog on a Friday. This devotive Cer- tell us about it, or, if you prefer, don’t. whole societies plunder groups of their own emony is to Remonstrate against the Popular Tell me more about This Discordian Stuff.. people, mothers imprison sons, children perish Pagainisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom while brothers war. O, woe.” (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Alright then. Allow me to tell you how Goddess “What is the matter with that, if it is what you pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of beef), of speaks to us. In the back of our brains is the pineal want to do?” Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of gland, a conical little organ that has no known func- “But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it!” Discordians (no hot dog buns). tion. However, Discordians know it to be the organ “Oh. Well, then stop.” IV. A Discordian shall partake of No Hot Dog through which Goddess communicates to us. Con- At which point She turned Herself into an as- Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess sult your pineal gland and be enlightened. pirin commercial and left the Polyfather stranded when She was Confronted with The Original Unfortunately, it seems that as we Discordians be- alone with his species. Snub. come enlightened, we make less and less sense. Such V. A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What is the nature of enlightenment, though. Therefore, if What’s all that about? she Reads. any of this has made sense to you, you might be next Not much. But I’ll tell you what it is all about. SO IT IS WRITTEN! SO BE IT! HAIL in line for Illumination. Afterall, this may be total Discordians are apt to party, and that’s perhaps DISCORDIA! PROSECUTERS SHALL BE bullshit, but bullshit makes the flowes grow, and that’s what we do best. Therefore, if you want in on TRANSGRESSICUTED! beautiful. Discordianism, I recommend having as many And all that. Anyway, that’s the gist of the The Search for the Truth can be tiring and futile. parties as you can. Pentabarf. Why Five Commandments? I’m so Discordians regard Truth as an interpretation, and no Consult your pineal gland. Remember that ev- glad you asked! more. Reality is the original Rorshach. As the great eryone else has one too. Remind them of that. You see, among the other Erisian Mysterees is Polyfather Malaclypse the younger said, Above all, do whatever it is that you do, and be- the Law of Fives. The Law of Fives States: come whatever it is that you are. All things happen in fives, or are divisible by “Everything is true, even false things.” or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly “But how can that be?” or indirectly appropriate to five. “I don’t know man, I didn’t do it.” The Law of Fives is never wrong..