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Ad Pages Template HAIL UNTO THE MASTER OF BATTLE SINCE 1992 VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 28 | JULY 9-15, 2015 | FREE [2] WEEKLY ALIBI JULY 9-15 , 2015 JULY 9-15 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] CRIB NOTES alibi BY AUGUST MARCH Crib Notes: July 9, 2015 VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 28 | JULY 9-15 , 2015 EDITORIAL 1 Potential plans for the future of Burque’s FILM EDITOR: BioPark have been submitted to city Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected] officials for legislative guidance. The report MUSIC EDITOR : on improving the zoo is _______________ pages August March (ext. 245) FOOD EDITOR : long. Ty Bannerman (ext. 260) [email protected] CALENDARS EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: a)108; a number with mystic associations Mark Lopez (ext. 239) [email protected] b)3; because the animals are being STAFF WRITER /SOCIAL MEDIA GURU : released into the Bosque in 2022; how Amelia Olson (ext. 224) [email protected] hard can that be? CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: c)10,000; mostly descriptions of demands Cecil Adams, Sam Adams, Steven Robert Allen, Captain by the primates for more bananas America, Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny, Shawna Brown, Suzanne Buck, Eric Castillo, David Correia, Mark d)0; there is no BioPark; it’s really a prison Fischer, Ari LeVaux, Mark Lopez, August March, for cute and cuddly animals. Genevieve Mueller, Geoffrey Plant, Benjamin Radford, Jeremy Shattuck, Holly von Winckel During the summer raccoons and other PRODUCTION 2 urban wildlife like coyotes are a thing in the ART DIRECTOR: Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) [email protected] Duke City. What order of mammals do the PRODUCTION MANAGER : rascally but sometimes vicious little Archie Archuleta (ext. 240) [email protected] rapscallions belong to? EDITORIAL DESIGNER/ GRAPHIC DESIGNER : a)Artiodactyla Tasha Lujan (ext. 254) [email protected] ILLUSTRATOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER : b)Hyracoidea Robert Maestas (ext.254) [email protected] c)Carnivora STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: d)Pholidata Eric Williams [email protected] CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: Ben Adams, Eva Avenue, Cutty Bage, Max Cannon, A forward-thinking UNM alum on the Michael Ellis, Adam Hansen, Jodie Herrera, KAZ, Jack 3 Larson, Tom Nayder, Ryan North cutting edge of medicine recently opened this city’s first _______________________ practice. SALES SALES DIRECTOR: a)Brain-to-computer download Sarah Bonneau (ext. 235) [email protected] b) Limb regeneration SENIOR DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: John Hankinson (ext. 265) [email protected] c)Age reversal ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: d)Cryotherapy Rudy Carrillo (ext. 245) [email protected] Valerie Hollingsworth (ext. 263) [email protected] Dawn Lytle (ext. 258) [email protected] Local teevee news reports recently revealed Tierna Unruh-Enos (ext. 248) [email protected] 4 the City of Albuquerque sent employees on ADMINISTRATION an all-expenses-paid trip to check out CONTROLLER: ____________________. Molly Lindsay (ext. 257) [email protected] ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE : a)The Raccoon County Music Festival Courtney Foster (ext. 233) [email protected] b)The Zooropa Tour FRONT DESK: c)The Futuristic Medical Practices Constance Moss (ext. 221) [email protected] Renee Chavez (ext. 221) [email protected] Association Convention EDITOR AND PUBLISHER: d)The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Carl Petersen (ext. 228) [email protected] Festival SYSTEMS MANAGER: Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) [email protected] WEB MONKEY: 5 A summertime study commissioned by John Millington (ext. 238) [email protected] county government reckons the city ought OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: to have twice as many _______________________ Christopher Johnson and Daniel Scott as it currently does. CIRCULATION CIRCULATION MANAGER : a)cement ponds Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) [email protected] b)double-naught agents INFORMATION c) crafty chimpanzee sidekicks PRINTER: d)smoked crawdads The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Eric Answers: Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: 1) A. The report is 108 mystical pages long. Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) [email protected] Implementation of much of the suggested improvements NATIONAL ADVERTISING: would require increased taxation over a period of several VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 years. www.vmgadvertising.com 2) C.Those razor-sharp little teeth and piercing eyes give NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. it away: Raccoons are meat-eaters. 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI 3) D.Cryotherapy uses sub-zero temperatures generated PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 by stuff like liquid nitrogen to ameliorate inflammation and Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content of this issue is Copyright © 2014 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be lesions, say advocates. Jarrin Soloman’s clinic will be the reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county first of its type in town. residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly 4) D.The government-funded trip was meant to improve subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and event services here in Albuquerque, but at least one city manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. councilor is aghast about the expense of it all. 5) A. The city needs more swimming pools. Whoever Association figured that out needs to get a hat on—that dang brain of Alternative Newsmedia needs protectin’. a [4] WEEKLY ALIBI JULY 9-15 , 2015 Email letters, including author’s name, mailing address and daytime phone number to [email protected]. Letters can also be mailed to 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, N.M., or faxed to (505) 256-9651. Letters—including comments posted on alibi.com—may be published in any medium and edited for length and clarity; owing to the volume of correspondence, we regrettably can’t respond to every letter. Letters can also be submitted as comments on alibi.com—on the very Weekly Alibi content you’re responding to—using your Facebook, Hotmail, Yahoo! or AOL account. parent God who would rescue all who in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” This one time at Slayer ... Where is God? fervently prayed for help from war, If Jesus actually lived, and if he said these Dear Alibi , starvation, cancer, addiction, tornadoes, verses, he was sadly deluded about God and Dear Alibi, Would a loving human parent slam and lock drought, drunk drivers, rape, family violence, reality. I saw Slayer open for Judas Priest at Irvine the door forever against a son or daughter blindness, false charges, drones, torture and Well-meaning or not, he was not Meadows in California, like 25 years ago. My regardless of what evil they have done? much more! Hundreds of millions of people speaking the truth. Talk about politicians’ husband at the time thought you were so good Would a loving parent God sentence billions throughout human history have prayed lies and companies’ false advertising to sell he bought your CD and went to the parking of people, or even one person, to never- desperately to God the best they knew how, products! These verses are false advertising lot to listen to you. He didn’t even listen to ending torture with no pardon, no parole? and received no help. for God. Judas Priest play. I also saw you play when To all who believe in God, do you believe in Did Jesus of Nazareth actually live? If he I am humbled to realize I swallowed and Anthrax opened for you. What a trip you are going to be in ABQ—totally awesome! hell? I would never want to spend eternity did, did the writers of Matthew, Mark, Luke spread this false advertising for God for —Dory Dyer with such a cruel monster God! and John in the Bible accurately tell Jesus’ many years. I was a sincere Christian I have never met anyone—no matter how teachings and actions? In centuries since, did preacher in the 1960s. I had not yet learned much better parenting, brain chemistry and those people who copied and translated the to question the Bible deeply and to reject its nutrition, no matter how much love, time original writings do a good job and make no bullshit. I thank many who helped me open Re: This one time at Slayer and truth—that can say for sure would important mistakes? Huge questions! Who my eyes! ... forever refuse to wake up and choose good knows for sure? —Don Schrader instead of evil. The Bible says Jesus spoke often about Dear Dory, Would a loving, all-powerful parent God God as a loving Father who would answer Hope you were able to make it to the show! —Weekly Alibi refuse to help millions of people in war zones prayers and give what we ask for. Mutual feelings who pray desperately to keep them and their Matthew 7:11, “If you then, who are evil, Dear Alibi, families safe, but are massacred despite all know how to give good gifts to your I love the Alibi newspaper. I can �crossword� again! their anguished prayers? Massacred often by children, how much more will your Father —Greg Howard Dear Alibi, soldiers who claim to be religious—even who is in heaven give good gifts to those Thank you for bringing the crossword back Christian. Soldiers on both sides praying to who ask him.” Re: Mutual feelings to it’s original size. God while they kill each other. Soldiers on Matthew 18:19, “Again I say to you, if I can finally read the numbers again! Not both sides believing their noble, patriotic two of you agree on earth about anything Dear Greg, your doing? Thanks anyway.
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