1St Year of Publishing the Bônau Cabbage Romans to Hold Handy Though If You Wrote Your Name and Is Lamma’S Patch

EDITORIAL [email protected] LAMMA’S MOONSTONE

DAY – 1 st We are patting ourselves on Any photographs we use are first scanned This is the birthstone st and then the originals are returned to their August the back as this edition (the 21 ) for June, and was th rightful owners so don’t be shy or fearful in marks the beginning of our 6 believed by the sending us your photographs. It would be August 1st year of publishing The Bônau Cabbage Romans to hold handy though if you wrote your name and is Lamma’s Patch. We have to share the success with captured beams of address on the back of the photo (in pencil) Day, and you because without your contributions of was Thanksgiving time (Harvest time) in moonlight. or you attached one of those ‘post-it-notes’. photographs, news and articles the Britain. The name comes from an Anglo- In India it is considered a sacred gemstone, magazine would have died a long time ago. Saxon word “Hlafmaesse” which means a symbol of the Third Eye that brings good Please keep sending them in for inclusion DATES FOR YOUR Loaf Mass. The festival of Lammas marks fortune and helps promote spiritual in the magazine. Thanks. - Ed DIARY the beginning of the harvest, when people enlightenment. go to church to give thanks for the first corn This form of feldspar has a beautiful pearly to be cut. This celebration predates our THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS Christian harvest festival. lustre, reminiscent of moonlight. Its iridescent effect - comes in many colours 2nd June Coronation Day th On Lammas Day farmers made loaves of from translucent, pink, yellow, green, We would like to welcome our new 14 June Queen’s Official Birthday th bread from the new wheat crop and gave rainbow, gold and silver. sponsors to the magazine and hope that 15 June Fathers Day th them to their local church. They were then our association will be a long and enjoyable 20 June Summer Begins Sometimes moonstones are carved to th used as the Communion bread during a one. 24 June Midsummer’s Day show a man-in-the-moon face. Moonstone's th special mass thanking God for the harvest. energies are soothing, nurturing and We would also like to express our thanks 15 July St Swithin’s Day st The custom ended when Henry VIII broke feminine in nature. They can help bring and gratitude to all our sponsors without 1 August Lamma’s Day th away from the Catholic Church, and calm, balancing yin/yang emotions and help whose generous contributions this edition 4 August Holiday in Scotland th nowadays we have harvest festivals at the 25 August Late Summer Holiday us to become sensitive and loving. of the magazine would not have been end of the season. Michaelmas Day possible. (September 29) is traditionally the last day

We ask our readers to patronise our of the harvest season. A person who graduated sponsors whenever possible and please yesterday and stops studying mention the Bônau Cabbage Patch when WHAT SOME KIDS SAY Lammas Day used to be a time for today is uneducated tomorrow. you make your purchases. foretelling marriages and trying out partners. Two young people would agree to hen Caesar was assassinated, he is W a "trial marriage" lasting the period of the reported to have said, “Me too, Brutus!” fair (usually 11 days) to see whether they DID YOU KNOW BÔNAU DEADLINES were really suited for wedlock. At the end of If anyone should faint put her head the fair, if they didn't get on, the couple The tradition of a diamond he deadline for the autumn edition of The between the knees of the nearest medical T could part. engagement ring started in 1477 th man. Bônau Cabbage Patch is 25 July for your th when Archduke Maximillian of articles or reports or 20 July for any As he walked through his room he heard Lammas was also the time for farmers to Austria gave a diamond ring to Mary of amendments to your advert. the sound of heavy breeding. give their farm workers a present of a pair Burgundy. The modern tradition is the of gloves. In some parts of the country, a The Jews were a proud people, but always result of a clever advertising campaign large white glove was put on the end of a had trouble with unsympathetic genitals. designed by N.W.Ayer in the 1940s. The CONTACTING US long pole which was decorated with flowers fact is that diamonds have little resale or An armadillo is an ornamental shrub. and held on high to let people know that the investment value. To contact The Bônau Cabbage Patch or merriment of Lammas Fair was beginning. All teachers at our school are certified. The Pwll Action Committee please call In Ibsen’s Ghosts, Oswald died of Lammas Superstition: To bring good luck, 755665 or 755260 or 777420 or drop your The average person thinks he congenital syphilis. farmers would let the first corn bread go articles or reports through our letterboxes at stale and then crumble it over the corners isn't. 43 or 53 or 81 Pwll Road or you can send Britain has a temporary climate. of their barns. us an e-mail at:

THE LION THE GARDENING CLUB SOME SILLY In the UK a pregnant woman can legally KING FOREIGN LAWS relieve herself anywhere she wants, AN APPLE A DAY including in a policeman's helmet. n Ohio, it is illegal Simba is the I The head of any dead whale found on the only son of Easy on the digestion, to get a fish drunk. British coast automatically becomes the Mufasa, the apples contain malic and tartaric acids that In Indonesia, the property of the King, and the tail of the King of the inhibit fermentation in the intestines. Their penalty for masturbation is decapitation. Queen. Pride Lands high fibre content adds bulk that aids the and ruler of Pride Rock. His mother is the digestive process, making elimination A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything Queen Sarabi, and he is the nephew of the natural and comfortable. Apples contain a woman’s privates in the reflection of you do not want him to know, but legal not King's brother Scar, who sees a political pectin, a soluble fibre that encourages the a mirror. to tell him information you do not mind him knowing. opportunity in the young cub's trust in him. growth of beneficial bacteria in the digestive In Switzerland, a man may not relieve Working to his disadvantage as well as tract. It is illegal to enter the Houses of himself standing up after 10pm. defining his character is Simba's Parliament wearing a suit of armour Apples contain antioxidants that improve It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a mischievous, adventuresome spirit, which immune function and prevent heart disease vehicle in Alabama. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the he indulges at every chance with his friend and some cancers. Green apples act as a ancient city walls of York, but only if he is Nala, often getting into trouble from which In Florida, unmarried women who liver and gall bladder cleanser and may aid carrying a bow and arrow. the King's majordomo Zazu is charged with parachute on a Sunday could be jailed. in softening gallstones. rescuing him. Women in Vermont must obtain written Because of their high water content, apples Blamed for his father's death in a disastrous permission from their husbands to wear Have you ever noticed the are cooling and moistening and aid in people who tell you to calm wildebeest stampede engineered by Scar reducing fever. Simply grate them and false teeth. and the Hyenas, and exiled to the jungle far down . . . are the ones that serve them to feverish patients. Steamed In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at from Pride Rock, Simba is befriended by got you mad in the first place. apples sweetened with honey are beneficial all times, except during funerals or hospital Timon and Pumbaa, the unlikely pair of for a dry cough and may help to remove visits. outcasts living the easy life in the land of mucous from the lungs. crystal waterfalls and tasty bugs. He'd be In France, it is illegal to name a pig perfectly happy to live there forever, if not Hippocrates (circa 400 BC), the Greek Napoleon. DID YOU KNOW for a chance meeting with Nala that calls physician considered the father of fter being forced to state in him back home to face his destiny. medicine, was a proponent of nutritional We wouldn’t have such silly A healing. His favourite remedies were laws in this country would public that the earth does not apples, dates, and barley mush. we? Wouldn’t we? Well, just rotate, Galileo is said to have muttered under his breath, "But NAVAL WATCHES Today medical practitioners are beginning read these, which are still on the statute books. .... it does move." to recognize that the apple's abundant The Naval Watches: On a clear day with blue skies, quantity of pectin is an aid in reducing high

cholesterol as well as blood sugar, a It is illegal to die in the Houses of lightning can jump outside of its parent wonder food for people with coronary artery Parliament cloud and travel for more than five miles 00:00 – 04:00 Middle Watch disease and diabetes. through clear air. This is called the "bolt 04:00 – 08:00 Morning Watch It is an act of treason to place a postage from the blue" phenomenon. The study of 08:00 – 12:00 Forenoon Watch If these aren't enough reasons to "eat an stamp bearing the British king or queen's lightning is called keraunopathology. 12:00 – 16:00 Afternoon Watch apple a day," there's more. Eating raw image upside-down. 16:00 – 18:00 First Dog Watch London's Millennium Dome, the largest of apples gives the gums a healthy massage It is illegal for a woman to be topless in 18:00 – 20:00 Last Dog Watch its kind in the world, is over one kilometer in and cleans the teeth. This popular fruit is Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish 20:00 – 00:00 First Watch circumference and covers over 80,000 said to have properties that are a muscle store. tonic and diuretic, laxative and square meters. antidiarrheal. It is also an agent to improve Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is the appetite and digestion and helps to banned. True friendship comes when silence alleviate rheumatism. God makes the animals . . . Man between two friends is comfortable. If someone knocks on your door in makes himself. Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter.

TELEVISION in this slice of history when truly everything CHARLES DICKENS NOSTALGIA did stop at 4 o’clock. harles Dickens' characters are some of (Kent Walton died on 24 th August 2003, aged 86) C Four o’clock on a the most memorable and certainly some of Saturday afternoon, the most unique in fiction. Characters such feet up in front of a DRIVING PENALTY POINTS as Sweedlepipe , Honeythunder , Bumble , roaring coal fire, Pumblechook , and M'Choakumchild are television on, and How long do the penalty points stay on recognizable as Dickensian even by those Kent Walton introducing Wrestling on ITV. your driving licence? unfamiliar with his stories. The wife of a duke is a dukky.

What memories! What nostalgia! - A It depends on the type of offence. For more Sometimes his characters were based on Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music combination of pantomime and farce with serious offences the endorsement starts on people that he knew: is the part you better not try to sing. heroes and villains that enthralled the the date of conviction, and for others on the Wilkins Micawber and Victims of the Black Death grew boobs on nation every Saturday afternoon. William Dorrit (both based date of the offence. their necks.

At its peak (in the 1970’s) it attracted an on his father), Mrs. Nickleby Endorsements will be shown on your audience of 12 million viewers and amongst (his mother). In a few King John ground the people down under licence for the following period of time for instances Dickens based heavy taxes. its fans were The Queen, the Duke of committing the following offences:- the character too closely on the original and Edinburgh, The Queen Mother and Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from Margaret Thatcher. Kent Walton was the 11 years for : got into trouble, as in the case of Harold burning trees and cows. commentator – a job he did for 33 years Skimpole in Bleak House , based on Leigh - Drinking/drugs & driving th from 1955 to 1988. Here are some of the Hunt, and Miss Mowcher in David The 19 -century was when people stopped - Causing death by careless driving wrestlers. Do you remember them? Are Copperfield , based on his wife's dwarf reproducing by hand and started whilst under the influence of reproducing by machine. there any we’ve left out? chiropodist. drink/drugs Adrian Street, Bert Royal, Big Bruno, Big - Causing death by careless driving, Some characters such as Scrooge (miserly) The seventh commandment is “thou shall Daddy (Shirley Crabtree), Billy Torontos, then failing to provide a specimen and Pecksniff (hypocritically affecting not admit adultery”. Billy Two Rivers, Bobby Barnes, ‘Bomber’ for analysis benevolence) became defining terms in King Solomon had 300 wives and 700 Pat Roach, Bull Pratt, Catweazle, Dave Boy everyday vernacular. In all Dickens created cucumbers. 4 years for: Smith (later to be known in the United 989 named characters during his writing To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in States as The British Bulldog he made his - Dangerous driving career. the cow. first appearance as the skinny 15 year old - Offences resulting in Marsupials are poached animals. tag team partner to Big Daddy), Dr Death disqualification. (Steve Williams), Fit Finley, George Kidd, - Disqualified from holding a Full If you cross XY and XX chromosomes you Giant Haystacks (Martin Ruane), Gorgeous Licence until a driving test has UNITED KINGDOM POPULATION: get XX (female), YY (male) and XY George, Honey Boy Zimba, Ian Campbell, been passed. (undecided). - Other less serious endorsable The mid-2006 population of the constituent Jackie ‘Mr TV’ Pallo, John DaSilva, John The headmaster caned me only on rear offences (speeding, vehicle countries of the United Kingdom is Quinn, Johnny Czeslaw, Johnny Eagles, occasions. Johnny Kincaid, Johnny Saint, Johnnie defects etc). estimated as follows: In the rocks there are to be found the fossil Kwango, Jon Cortez, ‘Judo’ Al Hayes, Totting Up England 50.8 millions 83.8% Kendo Nagasaki, King Kong Kirk, Kung Fu, footprints of fishes. Wales 3.0 millions 4.9% Leon Arris (the great late actor Brian If you get 12 or more points within a period Scotland 5.1 millions 8.4% Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway, but Glover) , Les Kellet, Mark ‘Rollerball’ Rocco, of 3 years, you'll be disqualified under the N. Ireland 1.7 millions 2.9% he mostly lived at Windsor with his merry Masambula, Mick McManus, Mighty John Totting Up system and at the end of Total: 60.6 millions 100% wives. This is quite usual with actors. Quinn, Mike Marino, Mississippi Mauler, disqualification the points accrued in that Pete Curry, Quasimodo, Ricki Starr, Ringo three years are normally cleared from your Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships licence. After the relevant period, if you with her face. Rigby, Rocky Moran, Steve Logan, ‘Tally Ho’ Kaye, Tokyo Joe, Tony St Clair, Vic wish, you may apply for a new counterpart The difference between fiction and The adder is a poisonous snack. Faulkner, Zoltan Boscik. licence that will not have any record of the reality? Fiction has to make sense. points on it. “Will we ever see their like again?” Kent WHAT SOME KIDS SAY & WRITE Walton once asked. No we won’t, so revel PWLL W.I. The popular Charities Fayre did not take Y GEMAU OLYMPAIDD yn bwysig, felly weithiau roedd

The members of Pwll place during the month of May; however miwsig hefyd! W.I. have enjoyed arrangements will be made to hold an yma rifyn yr haf o’r varied and interesting Autumn Fayre instead. The members of D Doedd y merched ddim yn cael mynd i meetings during the last Pwll W.I. would like to thank the County Bonau Cabbage ac mewn mewn i’r gemau o gwbwl achos roedd y few months. In January Councillors and the Llanelli Rural dim bydd sylw’r byd yn Councillors for their kind donations. dynion yn cystadlu’n borcyn!! Ond dyma a member from Five troi at y Gemau Roads W.I. Rosemarie un stori Olympaidd yn Beijing, Morris gave a very creative demonstration ddiddorol on flower arranging. Some members were ond oeddech chi’n gwybod iawn! able to take the arrangements and enjoy WYNNE’S EASTER QUIZ bod y gemau cyntaf wedi them in their own home. eu cynnal yn 776CC yn Roedd Wynne’s Easter Quiz and Olympia Gwlad Groeg? Peisirodos yn Raffle held at the Collier’s focsiwr da Arms on Easter Sunday Roedd Olympia’n lle iawn ac roedd raised £84 for charity. The arbennig iawn achos yma ei fam eisiau charity chosen by Carlos and the Jackals – roedd pobl yn dod i addoli Zeus, brenin y Cerflun o Zeus yn y the winning team - was The Llanelli ei weld yn duwiau. bocsio. Felly, deml yn Olympia Hospice. un diwrnod, A big thanks to everyone who supported Roedd y gemau’n para am bum diwrnod. the quiz and bought raffle tickets and a Dyma rai o’r pethau oedd yn digwydd. gwisgodd hi fel un o’r hyfforddwyr ac special thanks to Babs and Stan for the • Diwrnod 1 - seremoni agor y aeth hi i’r gemau i weld ei mab yn bocsio. usual superb buffet. Aeth Peisirodos i focsio ac enillodd e. gemau, rasys bechgyn, reslo, The main prize in the raffle was won by Roedd ei fam mor hapus, neidiodd hi dros In February we celebrated our 24th bocsio, gweddïo ac aberthu, Warren. Birthday with a Fish and Chip supper. Sue siarad â’r oraclau, beirdd a y bariau at ei mab, ond aeth ei dillad yn

Hamil from the Women’s Archives Wales sownd yn y bariau. Nawr roedd pawb yn haneswyr yn darllen eu gwaith, also gave a very detailed presentation on teithiau o gwmpas y coed gallu gweld nad dyn oedd yr ‘hyfforddwr’ the project she is now involved in. Archif DID YOU KNOW olewydd sanctaidd yn Olympia. yma! Ond buodd yr ‘hyfforddwr’ yn lwcus Menywod Cymru / Women's Archive of There are 18 species of penguins. The achos fel arfer os oedd merch yn mynd i’r Wales exists to promote the study, and to Diwrnod 3 – seremoni arbennig i Zeus, largest of these is the Emperor penguin. rescue and preserve the sources, of aberthu anifeiliaid. gemau roedd y dynion yn ei thaflu hi dros Male Emperor penguins grow up to 1,2m (4 women's history in Wales. y graig. Roedd gŵr a mab yr ‘hyfforddwr’ ft) tall and can dive down to depths of 265m Dyma rai o’r cystadlaethau: In April Sue Freeman gave a demonstration (870 ft). Their bodies are kept warm by a yn dda iawn am focsio, felly • Rhedeg rasys o 192 metr i 4608 on T-bag folding, a technique used to make thick layer of fat but to increase body heat penderfynodd y bobl beidio â’i thaflu home made cards and other decorations. In they comb their feathers to trap air in them. metr. dros y graig. Ond, o’r diwrnod yna, roedd • the same month members attended the All species of penguins live south of the Rhedeg mewn arfwisg – roedden rhaid i’r hyfforddwyr hefyd ddod i’r ever popular Spring Council meeting held in Equator, but only six live in Antarctica. nhw’n gwisgo helmedau ac arfau. gemau’n borcyn, fel y cystadleuwyr! St Peter’s Civic Hall Carmarthen. The guest There are no penguins in the North Pole Roedden nhw’n cario tariannau ac speaker Debra Griffiths of the Coalhouse and, contrary to popular belief, the name yn rhedeg i lawr y trac. series gave a humorous and inspiring talk ‘penguin’ does not derive from Welsh. • about her family’s experiences spent in Y naid hir - doedden nhw ddim yn

Stack Square, Blaenavon. In May several rhedeg cyn neidio ac roedden members travelled to Illfracombe for an Each friend represents a world in nhw’n cario tua 4 kg o bwysau ym enjoyable weekend. Other activities If at first you don't succeed, destroy us, a world not born until they mhob llaw. Roedden nhw’n members can be involved in are trips to see all evidence that you tried. arrive, and it is only by this meeting swingio’u breichiau ac roedd y Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in Cardiff, and also that a new world is born. to Castell Coch and St Fagan’s Museum. pwysau’n gwneud iddyn nhw neidio’n bellach. Roedd y rhythm THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for WHAT’S ON IN THE AREA LETTER TO THE EDITOR the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all he Hippocratic Oath is ello Peter, T intentional injustice, of all mischief and in Sunday June 8 th - Home Start Dinefwr are H an oath traditionally particular of sexual relations with both organising a car boot sale in Co-op car park Mrs Penny Harries (nee Williams) living in taken by physicians female and male persons, be they free or in Ammanford to help raise much needed Natal, South Africa read with interest the pertaining to the ethical slaves. funds for their charity. Free Admission. (£5 article in the Winter 2007 edition about a practice of medicine. It is What I may see or hear in the course of the per car if selling). Time: 9:00 – 12:00 black-headed weaver being spotted in a widely believed that the treatment or even outside of the treatment Pwll garden. She has sent this photograph oath was written by th in regard to the life of men, which on no Saturday June 14 - "Under Milk Wood" (below), taken in her neighbour's garden, of Hippocrates, the father account one must spread abroad, I will Vehicle Road Run - At 11am around 200 a black headed weaver's nest. Small world! of medicine, in the 4th keep to myself, holding such things classic vehicles will leave Mumbles near century BC… shameful to be spoken about. Swansea for the annual road run to Jane I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius Laugharne. Vehicles of all shapes and If I fulfil this oath and do not violate it, may it and Hygeia and Panaceia and all the gods sizes take part and can be seen on the be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being and goddesses, making them my A484, A40 while travelling to Laugharne. In honoured with fame among all men for all witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my the past we have had London buses, time to come; if I transgress it and swear ability and judgment this oath and this vintage cars and classic trucks and falsely, may the opposite of all this be my covenant: 2008 should see even more variety. Time: lot. 12:30 onwards. To hold him who has taught me this art as Several parts of the oath have been equal to my parents and to live my life in removed or re-shaped over the years in Saturday June 21 st - Carmarthenshire partnership with him, and if he is in need of various countries, schools, and societies as money to give him a share of mine, and to County Show - Annual Agricultural and the social, religious, and political regard his offspring as equal to my brothers Horticultural Show at The Showground. importance of medicine has changed. Most in male lineage and to teach them this art - Classes for: Horses, Sheep, Cattle, Pigs, schools administer some form of oath, but if they desire to learn it - without fee and Goats, Dog Show. Various trade stands, the great majority no longer use the ancient covenant; to give a share of precepts and crafts and food hall. A day out for the whole version, which praised Greek deities, oral instruction and all the other learning to family. advocated teaching of men, and forbade my sons and to the sons of him who has Trust in God - but lock your car! general practitioners from surgery, rd instructed me and to pupils who have Sunday August 3 - Ladies Driving abortion,and euthanasia. Also missing from signed the covenant and have taken an Challenge - Ladies get into gear in aid of the ancient Oath and from many modern oath according to the medical law, but no Marie Curie Cancer Care. This is your versions are the complex ethical issues that THE HEART one else. chance to get behind the wheel of some face the modern physician. exciting vehicles from Fire Engines to The heart is a grapefruit-sized pump that I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit JCB’s and put an end to those woman weighs about 300 grams. of the sick according to my ability and driver jokes! Over a lifetime the judgment; I will keep them from harm and BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP injustice. Experienced drivers will help you get to average heart will beat (As it was originally written) grips with some of the most 2,700,000,000 time at I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody Baa, baa, black sheep, unusual and challenging vehicles you will between 60 – 160 beats who asked for it, nor will I make a ever drive. per minute. It pumps Have you any wool? suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not 9,000 litres of blood Yes, marry, have I, Grab your gear stick, floor the accelerator give to a woman an abortive remedy. In around the body every day. Three bags full; and show the men in your life purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art. what you’re made of!

One for my master, Time: 10:00 – 17:00 - Pembrey Racing I will not use the knife, not even on One for my dame, Circuit. £10 Registration Fee & £100 sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in But none for the little boy Sponsor Money The only thing wron g with a perfect favour of such men as are engaged in this Who cries in the lane. drive to work is that you end up at work. work.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

I’VE LEARNED… CHRISTIAN AID WALK ON THE WILD vengeance, and on the morning of the SIDE 6th April was like a winter wonderland Thank you for your support and with approximately an inch and a half of I’ve learned… donations during the Christian January turned out to be a lying snow. For all you lazy bone

Aid United Service held at very wet month, we actually individuals that day you did miss the only Libanus on Monday, 12 th May …That life is like a roll of only experienced 5 complete dry days! snow fall of last winter as it thawed very 2008. Then what a contrast - a really pleasant rapidly. Another year without building a toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end February - according to the Met Office the snowman, drat and blast! the faster it goes. This year the Service followed Whit Sunday and the theme of the Pentecost sunniest since 1929. During this month one … That we should be glad God doesn’t give That famous song continued. We celebrated the coming of lucky resident of Elgin Road viewed a red “singing in the rain`` us everything we ask for. kite flying over the Graig. In the Holy Spirit to a needy world and well we had chiffchaffs … That money doesn’t buy class. celebrated the many ways Christian Aid’s future years the sighting of singing in the snow a these birds are going to be … That it’s those small daily happenings work empowers people in poor bit unusual for our communities around the world. We heard more common as they summer migrants don’t that make life so spectacular. continue to spread around stories about how campaigning and you think. Some continuous sharp frosty … That under everyone’s hard shell is development work are making a difference the region. mornings caused a major headache for someone who wants to be associated and in Ghana and Bangladesh, and how some Early sightings of butterflies were common gardeners and growers with those early loved. of the world’s most vulnerable people are with many reports of red admirals around, little shoots of plants being subjected to … That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. now on the frontline in facing the effects of (never seen one in February before), in fact the elements and possible damage, poor What makes me think I can? climate change. last year was the worse breeding season spuds!

Thanks to all the House-to-House for butterflies in 25years. … That to ignore the facts does not change A swan has been sitting for some time on th the facts. collectors, it is not easy knocking doors, During a ramble around the lake I came its nest and on the 17 of April an egg but the response of the village residents upon a half eaten flatfish. I probably appeared by the side of the great mass of … That when you plan to get even with has been as positive as ever. Thank you disturbed something having its afternoon vegetation. I thought at first maybe a someone you are only letting that person so very much for the contributions we tea, and wondered could it have been a cygnet had hatched but after venturing continue to hurt you. receive and the courtesy shown to our mink or maybe that other elusive creature … That love, not time, heals all wounds. collectors. the otter? I should imagine the flounder

must have weighed at least two pounds in … That one should keep his words both One voice speaking out the truth can weight, a sizeable fish indeed that some soft and tender, because tomorrow he may change a community. Many voices local anglers would be pleased to catch. have to eat them. speaking out the truth in unity can change the world. During my early escapades many many … That the less time I have to work, the years ago, flatfish were present in the river more things I get done. I’m sorry we were unable to collect your Dulais half way up behind Stepney road White Elephant goods for the Charities … That a smile is an inexpensive way to and perhaps had ventured further upstream Fayre. Despite strenuous efforts by the improve your looks. favouring the fresh water rather than their W.I. Committee to hold the event, the usual salty conditions. … That no one is perfect until you fall in Fayre unfortunately had to be postponed. out to the nest I could see that perhaps it love with them. could have been infertile or maybe a For further information on Christian Aid … That I wish I could have told those I please contact any member of the predator had caught them of guard as cared about that I love them one more time committee or telephone. Contact Nos. you could see the contents of the egg on before they pass away. 01554 758023 or 01554 772441 the platform nearby. Oh well try again next year. … That when you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere. After high March winds and April showers My mind works like lightning. One brilliant are we going to be in for a flaming June? … That everyone you meet deserves to be flash and it is gone. Let us hope so. Surely we can not have a greeted with a smile. repeat performance of last year so I hope

(Article submitted by Pat Lewis, Aelybryn) everybody enjoys the summer and I’ll see When many of us thought that winter was you in the autumn. well behind us, but it returned with a

PWLL PRIMARY Our visit to the Botanical Gardens. Saint David’s Day. During the last week of the spring term we SCHOOL st had a book week. We had lots of fun On March 1 , Saint We left school very excited and ready to activities about books. David’s Day, we wore our Dear Everyone go on to the coach for our trip to the Welsh costumes and had On Tuesday 18th March Linda Strachan Botanical Gardens with our teddy bears. a concert in school. Our came and read us some Hamish McHaggis When we got there we went to the big glass As some of the children’s articles mention, class performed a little dance called books and she did a bit of work with us. house. Inside, we are having a big push in school to improve ‘Troed yn Taro’. The children who took Linda is an author and lives in Scotland. It we saw lots of the Junior Playground. Modern children part in the dance were, Daniel Lara, was very interesting to meet Linda and different plants require opportunities to be physically and Brandon, Hannah, Dominic, Lowri, Jordan, learn about her work. and flowers with mentally challenged whilst in a safe Carys, Lloyd and Katie. They all danced pretty petals. One day all the teachers had to tell us what environment. We are hoping to provide the on the stage whilst the other children sang Best of all we their favourite book was and why they like children with climbing facilities, along with an and played the tambourines. We also saw some gold and silver fish swimming in it. Mrs Collins told us a story about a area to play sports. In addition to this, there sang about ‘Cawl Cennin’ and we had our the pond. After the glass house we went to vegetarian dragon. On the last day of term will be places for quieter activities and own chief called Jordan. He had a the Adventure Playground it was fun but we had a dressing up competion and opportunities for children to grow plants and wooden spoon, a chief’s hat and an apron vegetables too. very muddy. We went for a little walk Bethan won and he looked just like a chief especially around and saw some vegetables then it By Lara - Year 3 with his big pot. He cooked cawl for all of The children are entering a competition to win was time for dinner. After dinner we went funding so they are researching what children us. We helped him make it because some on an adventure in the woods with Tedwen. would like in the playground and how much of us had parts to say and then we had put We are collecting ‘Box tops for books’ We helped her find her friends Larry the everything will cost. This activity has certainly the vegetables in the pot. At the end of tokens. These tokens can be found on all lamb, Harry the hedgehog and Freddy the captured their imagination and we have future the concert the boys bowed and the girls Nestle cereal boxes. We will be happy if frog. We also found some food for our researchers, event managers, administrators curtsied we all had fun. you could collect theses tokens so that we and accountants in the making! teddies to eat and made them shelters from Bradley Year 1 Daniel and Brandon Year 2 can have more books in school. We will

twigs. We made little clay cups and filled also be happy if you could collect Tesco As you can imagine, the total cost of them with water for teddies to drink. After Book Week vouchers so that we can have a new renovation for the entire playground will the adventure we went to the theatre to see require around £25,000 (and this doesn’t computer. Thank you. a film called “Planet of the Plants”. It was By Erin, Maya and Emily- Year 4 include the swimming pool and individual In our school we very clever because when we sat down the quad bikes that some pupils have requested!) had a children’s screen moved forward and all around us author come and In order to realise some of the children’s there were other screens and it looked like talk to us about we were flying through the forest. It was dreams of the perfect playground, we are some of the th commencing fundraising. We have a ticket to very interesting because we learnt a lot books she wrote, her name was Linda O n Monday 7 play golf at the Wales National Golf Course at about different types of plants and planets Strachan. She’s Scottish. She was born in April a football the Vale Hotel, Golf and Spa available for there were lots of colourful flowers which the Eastern General Hospital, which used to trainer came in to raffle. The raffle tickets will be on sale were really pretty. Once the film had be just on the outskirts of Edinburgh. The school. He was throughout June and you may find members finished we knew it was time to go home first two schools she went to closed down. called Phil. He of staff knocking on your door asking if you’d we were quite sad to leave, as we had such My first school was in Edinburgh and I had to showed us some like to purchase tickets. get two buses there every morning . She has football skills and a good time. We enjoyed so much we would love to go again soon. 3 children, who are all grown up now. Linda played games with us. My favourite was a We are also hoping to have the tickets for sale has written over 50 books of all sorts, for all in the businesses around Pwll. Alternatively, if game called ‘Pirates’. Jordan and Hannah Year 2 ages. Her main illustrator is Sally J. Collins. you would like to buy a ticket, please pop up One of the books she wrote was Grey Friars The children in year 3 and 4 have had the to the school (around 10am is the best time). Bobby. It’s about a dog’s master dies and his chance to join an after school football club I have this nagging fear tha t Yours faithfully dog Bobby lays on the grave until the dog to learn some more skills. After the course everyone is out to make me dies . has finished we will be playing in a football Mrs A Collins paranoid. By Sean James and Josh Williams tournament.

Headteacher Pwll Primary School By Tristan - Year 3

Most of you will have known him much Pen Pals We also read a fun story called The Fish BRITAIN’S MOST HATED better than me. But I knew him well Who Could Wish. We wrote our own FOOD enough to speak of his gifts; most wishes – some of the girls wished to be Year five and six are supremely as a gifted communicator and hairdressers and cowgirls while the boys writing to a school in preacher (not just with the aid of Charlie the preferred to be cowboys, rock stars or Basingstoke Hampshire 1 Tripe Monkey!) and as a priest who had the gift police men. Will our wishes come true? called Oakridge junior 2 Jellied Eels and the knowledge of how to be alongside school. There are 33 children in their 3 Deep fried Mars bar people especially in times of hardship and class, same as ours. We have been 4 Brawn suffering. emailing the teacher to find out about the 5 Black Pudding school. We will be in pairs and will be 6 Tapioca Personally, I experienced David as a model talking to each other and finding out about Junior Road Safety 7 Faggots predecessor. In retiring to Burry Port, the what they look like? What it is like in Club 8 Marmite place of his ministry for 21 years, he never England? What their interests are? 9 Semolina interfered with parish matters following 10 Beetroot in vinegar retirement but was always on hand to offer There are four road (Mmm…that’s funny…. I quite like 6 of these – Ed) me encouragement, support and a listening

safety officers, Alfie, ear together with tea, chocolate biscuits

Natasha, Shannon f and of course the latest jokes whenever I Tennis and Ieuan w. called

th We have two folders I know you all join me in expressing our On Wednesday 9 April we had to sign a form heartfelt sympathy and the assurance of we had tennis lessons to confer our road our continued support to Yvonne, Mark, with Ian. First of all we safety permission. EGLWYS Y Bethan and all the family; in thanking God had to learn the grip of We get to give prizes for road safety DRINDOD for David and for his long and faithful the racket. After that we had to find a competitions. SANCTAIDD ministry in the Church in Wales and to this partner and hit it back and forth and then We haven’t done any competitions yet but HOLY TRINITY parish; and in praying that he may rest in we swapped partners after five goes each. we will start soon. We might do a seatbelt peace and rise in glory. The last game we had was when we had CHURCH survey. ‘Da was da a ffyddlon’. to hit it over the net and get it through the goals (two cones). We really hope that Ian Some of the prizes are ruler a pencil a pen The Reverend Canon Gwilym David comes back soon. Thank you Ian. and road safety booklets and posters and Harries BA: 1941-2008 rubbers. Vicar of Burry Port with Pwll 1984 - 2005

By Lewis J Elliot E Bradley D One of the most difficult tasks that I have faced in my short ministry in this parish was Reception Class to preside at the funeral of my predecessor, David Harries, on 15 March. David’s GLOBAL ENGLISH untimely death saddened us all. His illness Holy Trinity Church Dates for the Diary Last week we English is spoken as a followed a brief retirement and cut short the 2008:

listened to the story first language by more than 300 million time that he had been looking forward to Saturday 17 May @ 14.30 - St Mary’s, The Very Hungry people throughout the world, and used as spend with Yvonne and the family. Caterpillar and have made caterpillars Burry Port Church Fete a second language by many millions more. And yet whilst the sadness at his funeral from egg boxes. We are going to sow One in five of the world's population was tangible, the sense of celebration for Saturday 28 June @ 14.00 – Summer Fete cress seeds in them next week to make speaks English with a good level of his life and faith made us all feel proud to in Church Grounds them hairy! competence, and within the next few years have known him. St Mary’s was packed by Saturday July 12 @ 14.30 – Sponsored This week we enjoyed the story of Jack the number of people speaking English as colleagues, friends and parishioners from Walk and the Beanstalk. We dressed up and a second language will exceed the number this diocese and beyond, paying respect to acted out the story. We will grow our own of native speakers. a special friend and gifted priest who in 43 Saturday 9 August @ 17.00 – BBQ at 11 beanstalks. We hope to climb to the top years ministry touched the lives of so many. Tirwaun and find a giant called Morgan! A CASE OF DOUBLE THE PWLL SOCCER GLOUCESTER MILLENNIUM

STADIUM Great news for the Due to the unavailability The Millennium Football Club as both of steam train 6024 ‘King teams will be playing Edward I’ (the fast Stadium has a e congratulate Margaret Howells on top flight football next W potato) for the 5 th May excursion to Milford capacity of 74,500 being appointed as Branch Leader of Pwll seats on three tiers. season, as predicted Haven, locomotive 71000 ‘Duke of in the last edition of Mothers’ Union and Eiryl Williams as Gloucester’ (which passed through Pwll Assistant Leader. Both were enrolled by the Lower Tier 23,500 the magazine, the relegation spots would two days earlier) replaced duties for that be taken by either Trallwm, Gorseinon, Revd Bryan Witt, St Davids Diocesan day. The same steam locomotive in two Middle Tier 18,000 Chaplain to the Mothers’ Union at a special Upper Tier 33,000 Pwll or Hendy. Trallwm fell away while days! You could have called it a case of Hendy forged ahead, leaving Pwll to pip service in St Mary’s Church, Burry Port on ‘Double Gloucester’ that weekend. Monday 14 April at 19.30 which was To cater for all these sports fans the Gorseinon, by going on a 3 match followed by fellowship and refreshments. All stadium has: unbeaten run beating Camford and are welcome at meetings of the Mothers’ drawing with Trostre and Evans & Union which usually meets on the first 12 Escalators Williams. Meanwhile Pwll reserve team’s Monday of the month. Further details from 7 Lifts form at the latter end of the season has Margaret Howells on 750025 6 Restaurants been nothing short of phenomenal. In the last edition Pwll had only picked up 4 15 Public Bars 23 Food and beverage outlets points in the first half of the season, and Holy Trinity has 13 Programming and merchandise now with only two games left, the team is started holding Outlets safe after going on an eight game Children’s Service Above: The Duke of Gloucester 13 Parenting Rooms unbeaten run winning 6 and drawing 2 by Kevin Sullivan © 2007 every other month 17 First Aid Rooms games.

110 Pitch Flood Lights on the Fourth The club can now celebrate its Sunday at 4.00pm. We had a lively service THE KNIGHTS OF 760 Toilet Pans achievements at the Ashburnham Hotel on in January when we dedicated the new 640 Wash Hand Basins th THE ROUND TABLE Saturday 7 June, while looking forward to “Noah’s Ark” Children’s Corner and a 2500 Sprinkler Heads the new season with a more positive and special celebration in March on Mothering Many of the Knights of 1512 Public Address Speakers confident outlook. Sunday. The next service will be on 15 1650 Heat/Smoke Detectors the Round Table only play While building for the future the committee June when we will be marking Father’s 6 Flame detectors within the bowl. a minor role in the are putting forward plans to bring back Day. So do come along (specially children 1131 Doors legends. King Arthur jjunior football to the village and further and fathers) for a short celebration of Dads! himself obviously information can be obtained from New children are always welcome to join The Pitch comprises: presided. Some of his knights were: chairman, Gordon Billings or secretary Sunday School which meets on Sundays 120m x 79m (9480 metres square) Mark Aitken. The teams formed will from 10.30 – 12.00. More details from Bors, Ban, Balan, Balin, Bedivere, 7412 pallets (each 1.3 metres square) depend on numbers available for any age Helen Davies. Bellinore, Cador, Clegis, Culwych, 188 articulated lorry loads group under the age of 16. Dodinas le Savage, Donard, Ector Ector, Ector de Maris, Gaheris, Galahad. Gareth, To make sure everything runs smoothly To view the league tables go to Geraint, Gawain, Griflet le Fise de Dieu, and safely on match days the following are www.westwalessport.com employed: Harry le Fise Lake, Hervis de Revel, Heylan, Kay, La Cote Mal Taile, Lamorak Safety Offices (2), Senior Stewards (6), Aluminium Cans de Gales, Lancelot, Lionel, Steward Teams (34), Stewards (750), If a man thinks it is impossible to be We continue to save aluminium Lohot, Lucan the Butler, Meleagant, Catering Staff (500), First Aid (120), Police wrong ALL the time, then he has cans to raise money for the church funds, Marhuas, Ozanna le Cure Hardy, (50), Fire Stewards (12), Control Room (17) never been married. since we started we have raised over £800. Palomides, Pelleas, Pelinore Pellinor, By the way it took 10,000 litres of Vinyl Silk If you have any we would be very grateful, Percival, Safer, Urien of Gore, Valadon, Emulsion Paint to cover the walls. please speak to Elaine Unsted on 750209. Yvain ( Owain), Tristan.

EGLWYS LIBANUS Bydd y casgliad nesaf ar 8 Mehefin 2008 - MEET YOUR NEW COUNTY Rhondda (The banks of the Rhondda), and CHAPEL dillad i ferched, dynion a phlant y tro hwn, COUNCIL COUNCILLORS gave rise to the tradition that the tune had hefyd dillad gweli a blancedi ond dim come to him as he walked on the bank of Oedfa ar fore Sul am duvets os gwelwch yn dda. Bydd Festri Siân Ciaich (Plaid Cymru) the River Rhondda. His father, Evan 10 o’r gloch. Libanus ar agor rhwng 11 a 12 o’r gloch ar James, wrote the lyrics that eventually Oedfa Gymun unwaith y Sul, 8 Mehefin, 2008 , i dderbyn eich became the words of the Welsh national mis a’r Suliau yn amrywio. cyfraniadau. Diolch o galon. Rhifau ffon anthem. Ysgol Sul y Plant yn ystod yr Oedfa. - 01554 758023 a 01554 810201 Mae croeso cynnes i eraill i ymuno, dewch i’r oedfa neu cysylltwch a’r ysgrifennydd. The most important trip you Y Gymdeithas - ‘Rydym wedi gorffen am may take in life is meeting y tymor ar ol mwynhau nosweithiau people halfway. diddorol tuhwnt. SUPPORT FOR ROMANIA I orffen y cyfarfodydd trefnwyd cinio i bawb, gan wahodd yr Eglwys gyfan. Cawsom Thank you so very much for BIRDS DO THE STRANGEST ginio blasus a chwmni difir yng Ngwesty’r the donations and gifts we THINGS Mari Lyn Davies (Plaid Cymru) Stradey Park. received to enable us to send Diolch yn fawr i Deryth am drefnu’r cyfan. 700 Easter Eggs to needy Y Dosbarth Llenyddiaeth . - Hwn hefyd children and orphanages. We Back in January, on a ramble around the wedi gorffen am y tro a phawb wedi received a very large quantity of shoes of ponds, I was suddenly amazed at what I mwynhau’r gymdeithas a thrafod all types, medical aid and so many saw. Two swans feeding close to the llenyddiaeth dan arweiniad Bethan. unwanted spectacles. We are also railway track. I wondered what was wrong Bu cyfarfodydd y prynhawn yn llwyddiannus indebted to two local Opticians - Messrs. with the vegetation around the ponds or did iawn. Michael Morgan of Burry Port and Evan they prefer the diesel fumed grass!, or Cymorth Cristnogol - Jones, Llanelli, who added considerably to maybe perhaps they were waiting for a Trefnwyd Oedfa Undebol Wythnos Cymorth the quantity of spectacles we received. Swan -sea to Carmarthen train! Cristnogol ar nos Lun, 12 Mai 2008, yn Some of our Canadian readers disbelieve Libanus eleni. A sincere thank you for supporting us. some tales, but as you can see this is Clywsom am ddigwyddiadau yn Ghana a Seven lorry loads of goods left on Sunday, th actual footage and not digital enhanced Bangladesh a thynnwyd ein sylw at ein 13 April, from Cardiff. Prior to leaving a photography, cyfrifoldeb i ofalu am yr hinsawdd. Daeth short Service was held at Ararat Baptist “Time's fun when you're having cynrychiolaeth dda ac aelodau’r dair Church, Whitchurch, and we ask for your flies.” - Kermit the Frog Eglwys yn cymryd rhan. prayers for the whole group throughout the journey. Gwerthwyd nwyddau Traidcraft yn y festri wedi’r Oedfa. Diolch i bawb am eu Your generosity is very much appreciated. cyfraniad a’u haelioni. The next venture will be later in June when

Support for Romania - Gair o ddiolch am we will be collecting clothes for men, yr holl gefnogaeth fel bod plant bach tlawd women and children. These do not have to HEN WLAD FY y wlad yn cael Wy Pasg. Casglwyd dros be new but have plenty of wear left in them. NHADAU 700 o wyau; esgidiau o bob math; nwyddau You would assist us greatly if they were ames James meddygol a hen sbectol. sorted into the three types. We will also J Roedd nifer y sbectol yn anhygoel, diolch accept blankets and sheets (but no duvet (1833 – 1902) was a yn fawr i bawb ac hefyd i ddau Obtegydd covers please) and medical aid. harpist and musician lleol, - Michael Morgan, Porth Tywyn ac from Pontypridd Rhondda Cynon Taf. He We will be collecting these items on Evan Jones, Llanelli, am ei cyfraniad hwy. composed the tune of the Welsh national Sunday, 8th June, between 11am and anthem Hen Wlad fy Nhadau . Mae saith lori wedi gadael ar 13 Ebrill yn llawn nwyddau gan gynnwys 25,000 o noon at Libanus Vestry or please contact 01554 758023 or 01554 810201 James James composed the melody which wyau Pasg. Gofynnir am eich gweddiau was later known as Hen Wlad fy Nhadau in The only prize much cared for by dros bawb sydd yn teithio gydol y daith os Thank you for your continued support January 1856. At first it was known as Glan the powerful is power. gwelwch yn dda. CAPEL Some locals call it the River Bassett but its BETHLEHEM official name is Avon Dulais, which runs PWLL OF YESTERYEAR – VICTORY PARADE 1945 CHAPEL under the main road close to the Spar shop in Bassett Terrace. Welsh services every Sunday at 3.30pm - EXCEPT - During early April, hundreds of brown trout

ENGLISH and SUNDAY SCHOOL service were seen dead in the river, and after

3rd Sunday of each month. contacting the Environment Agency to

Croeso i'n gwasanaethau. report the situation they informed me that the reason was that slurry had entered the CHWAEROLIAETH / SISTERHOOD - Bore river from a chicken farm further upstream. Mawrth 10.30 yn y festry./ Tuesday A total disaster for the ecolife of the river! I mornings 10.30 in the vestry. woner how long it will take to return to

SUNDAY SCHOOL - held during the normality?

ENGLISH service 3rd Sunday of the month.

Easter was celebrated with both great joy Difficulty is not an obstacle; it is and sadness. merely an attribute.

New Deacons

Croeso cynnes i 'n deaconiaid newydd sef

Mr. Meilyr Hughes, Miss Gwyneth Jones a

Mrs Lydia Williams. PWLL NEIGHBOURHOOD POLICING Members and Friends of Bethlehem TEAM Cofiwn amdanynt yn ein gweddiau. Can you name all the children here? The STRAWBERRY TEA has been The priorities of the team are: cancelled. 1. Anti-social motorbike riding in the

Any information required regarding Maengwynne area services, baptisms, weddings and funerals 2. Anti-social motorbike riding in Pwll CALLING ALL I WISH I HADN’T SAID THAT! please contact our Minister Rev Carys and on the coastal path LADIES Awen Jones 01554 771252. 3. Traffic issues and speeding in Furnace and Maengwynne • In 1978 a man charged with murder escaped from the custody Are you interested in playing Ladies of the Irish police. The Garda They hold regular meetings in the Pwll Darts? Press Office, issued a statement Pavilion so that the public can meet them DID YOU KNOW The Colliers Arms Ladies Darts Team is to the effect that, `He is no more and discuss their problems and concerns. looking for lady players to join their well dangerous than any other Meetings have been arranged on the In 1492 when western European established darts team. League Games are murderer.' countries started their occupation following dates: played most Tuesday nights. No • We apologise for the late running of the Americas, more than 50 Friday 20 June experience necessary. Come and enjoy of this train. This is due to us million Indians were living there. Friday 18 July yourself! following a train that is in front of Friday 29 August Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he Interested? Please contact Anne Williams us. - British Rail Guard Friday 26 September on 01554 773429 or any of the team. was nine. His parents thought he might be • “I can accept the theory of retarded. The meetings start at 7 pm and are open to everyone. No appointment is necessary. relativity as little as I can accept George Eastman, inventor of the Kodak Friends who think they're perfect the existence of atoms and other camera, hated having his picture taken. are very annoying to those of us such dogmas” - Ernst Mach (1838- Achilles was a heel! who really are. 1916), professor of physics at the University of Vienna. RIVER DULAIS POLLUTED

with the opening of the Mustard Shop in COLEMAN’S MUSTARD PWLL OF YESTERYEAR Norwich. It is now a tourist attraction. In 1814, Jeremiah Colman Two teams which took part in a seven-a-side match to mark the opening MOST POPULAR NAMES 2007 first advertised his mustard of the King George V Playing Fields (pictures from Jane Evans). in the Norwich Chronicle. Boys: Girls: He made his mustard at a st 1 Jack Grace water mill just south of nd 2 Thomas Ruby Norwich, and in keeping rd 3 Joshua Olivia with the day, the business th 4 Oliver Emily was family-run. 5th Harry Jessica

The Colman family's pioneering (National Statistics Office)

achievements in social welfare are part

of Norwich's history. In 1857 a school The easiest way to find was opened for the employees' children, while in 1864 the firm something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. employed a nurse to help sick members of staff - a social revolution at the time.

DID YOU KNOW In 1866 the distinctive red and yellow livery was introduced to the label. That Seven people in every thousand in

England and Wales gave their religion as same year, the ultimate seal of 'Jedi' in the 2001 Census. Just over approval came when the company was 390,000 of the 52,000,000 people in Back Row: Alan Lewis, Roy Evans, Mervyn Oliver, Glyn Daniels, Robert Thomas, granted the Royal Warrant as England and Wales wrote in 'Jedi' on their Vivian Davies, and Alan Richards. Front Row: John Edwards, Alan Edwards. manufacturers to Queen Victoria. The census form. Warrant can still be seen on all

Colman's products today. In 2005, 63 per cent of women and 81 per

cent of men in Great Britain held a full car In 1903, Colman's purchased a rival mustard manufacturer that was originally driving licence. This compares with 29 per cent of women and 69 per cent of men in known as Keen & Son. The manufacturer had made their mustard a household name 1976.

and spawned the well-known saying 'keen as mustard'. In 1995, Unilever bought the Plant-eating dinosaurs did not eat grass, company. because there wasn't any - so it is thought.

From 1880 to 1939, Colman's issued During the Mesozoic Era, when the

special pictorial tins every year. For special dinosaurs lived, conifers - cone-bearing

occasions additional issues were made, trees and shrubs - dominated the

including ones in July 1902 to landscape. They included redwoods, yews,

commemorate the Coronation of King pines, palms, cypress and the monkey

Edward VII and Queen Alexandra. puzzle tree. Flowering plants and grass

Jeremiah Colman's original site at Stoke evolved only later.

Mill still stands today, and is now a

restaurant with a display of Colman's

memorabilia. Marriage is a relationship in

In 1973 Colman's celebrated 150 years of which one person is always right; Back Row: George Edwards, Vivian Davies, Bernard Ford, Mervyn Oliver, and Ian Thompson. Front Row: Clive Rees, Alan Hopkins, Jeffrey Collins, Jan Daniels. business, commemorating the occasion the other is a husband.

OLYMPIA winner's name by the herald, a Hellanodikis pulley. Fortunately by this time I had (Greek judge) would place a palm branch in This is a bricklayer's regained my presence of mind and was his hands, while the spectators cheered accident actual able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of and threw flowers to him. Red ribbons were (verbatim) report, beginning to experience a great deal of tied on his head and hands as a mark of which was printed in pain. At approximately the same time, victory. the newsletter of the Australian equivalent however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground The official award ceremony would take of the Workers' Compensation board. This and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now place on the last day of the Games, at the apparently is a true story. devoid of the weight of the bricks, that elevated vestibule of the temple of Zeus. In barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer a loud voice, the herald would announce Dear Sir you again to my weight.

lympia, the site of the ancient Olympic O the name of the Olympic winner, his father's Games, is in the western part of the "I am writing in response to your request for As you can imagine, I began a rapid name, and his homeland. Then, the additional information in Block 3 of the descent, down the side of the building. In Peloponnese which, according to Greek Hellanodikis placed the sacred olive tree mythology, is the island of "Pelops", the accident report form. I put "poor planning" the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel wreath, or kotinos, on the winner's head. as the cause of my accident. You asked for coming up. This accounts for the two founder of the Olympic Games. Imposing temples, votive buildings, elaborate shrines a fuller explanation and I trust the following fractured ankles, broken tooth and several details will be sufficient. lacerations of my legs and lower body. and ancient sporting facilities were The hardness of the butter is Here my luck began to change slightly. The combined in a site of unique natural and proportional to the softness of the I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of encounter with the barrel seemed to slow mystical beauty. bread. the accident, I was working alone on the me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell Olympia functioned as a meeting place for roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some into the pile of bricks and fortunately only worship and other religious and political three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to practices as early as the 10th century B.C. bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 report, however, as I lay there on the pile of The central part of Olympia was dominated SOME bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost by the majestic temple of Zeus, with the lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by HYBRID hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by my composure and presence of mind and temple of Hera parallel to it. The ancient FRUITS let go of the rope and I lay there watching stadium in Olympia could accommodate using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. the empty barrel begin its journey back more than 40,000 spectators, while in the down on to me, this explains the two surrounding area there were auxiliary Securing the rope at ground level, I went up Fruit Is a cross between: to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded broken legs. buildings, which developed gradually up until the 4th century B.C. and were used as the bricks into it. I hope this answers your inquiry. Aprium apricot + plum training sites for the athletes or to house Then I went down and untied the rope, the judges of the Games. Boysenberry raspberry + blackberry + holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of loganberry the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the

THE GAMES AND RELIGION Grapefruit pomelo + sweet orange accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. The Olympic Games were closely linked to Due to my surprise at being jerked off the WHAT SOME KIDS the religious festivals of the cult of Zeus, Jostaberry blackcurrant + ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of WRITE but were not an integral part of a rite. gooseberry mind and forgot to let go of the rope

Indeed, they had a secular character and Loganberry raspberry + blackberry Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate aimed to show the physical qualities and up the side of the building. In the vicinity of Nectaplum nectarine + plum Magna Carta provided that no man could evolution of the performances the third floor, I met the barrel which was accomplished by young people, as well as now proceeding downward at an equal, be hanged twice for the same offence. Peacotum peach + apricot + plum encouraging good relations between the impressive speed. Handel was half German, half Italian and Pluot plum + apricot cities of Greece. According to specialists, This explained the fractured skull, minor half English. the Olympic Games owed their purity and Tangelo tangerine + grapefruit abrasions and the broken collar bone, as President Carter faced the “Iran Hostess importance to religion. Tayberry raspberry + blackberry listed in section 3 of the accident report Crisis”. form. VICTORY CEREMONIES Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid A phlegmatic person is one who has The Olympic victor received his first awards immediately after the competition. The graveyards are full of ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my chronic bronchitis. BRICKLAYERS REPORT Following the announcement of the indispensable men. right hand were two knuckles deep into the HOSPITAL REGULATIONS MOST EXPENSIVE COFFEE BÔNAU HUMOUR

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I Hospital regulations Real Notes to British have a baby two months old and did not require a wheel chair for Milkmen (Allegedly) know about it until a neighbour told me. patients being discharged.

However, while working as a Please send me details about cheap milk student nurse, I found an as I am stagnant. elderly gentleman already Coffee grows in dozens of countries Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please dressed and sitting on the around the world. Some varieties have leave another one. bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted Milk is needed for the baby. Father is earned a special reputation, often based on he didn't need my help to leave the unable to supply it. a combination of rarity, unusual Please leave an extra pint of paralysed hospital. After a chat about rules being circumstances and particularly good milk. rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the flavour. But perhaps no coffee in the world From now on please leave two pints every elevator. On the way down I asked him if is in such short supply, has such unique Cancel one pint after the day after today. other day and one pint on the days in his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he flavours and an interesting background as said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom between, except Wednesdays and Kopi Luwak . And no coffee even comes Please don't leave any more milk. All they changing out of her hospital gown." Saturdays when I don't want any milk. close in price: Kopi Luwak sells for £15 per do is drink it.

50grammes. Milkman, please close the gate behind you Kopi (the Indonesian word for coffee) The average woman would rather because the birds keep pecking the tops off Luwak comes from the islands of Sumatra, have beauty than brains, because the milk. Java and Sulawesi, which are part of the the average man can see better Indonesian Archipelago’s 13,677 islands. than he can think. Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not But it's not strictly the exotic location that bread today. makes these beans worth their weight in

silver. It's how they're "processed." Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming MEDICAL On these Indonesian islands, there's a into the house but two sons on the dole. PHYSICAL small marsupial called the paradoxurus , a tree-dwelling animal that is part of the sibet Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but family. Long regarded by the natives as Morris, an 82-year my wife had a baby and I've been carrying pests, they climb among the coffee trees it around in my pocket for weeks. old gentleman, went My back door is open. Please put milk in eating only the ripest, reddest coffee to the doctor to get a 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and cherries. Who knows who first thought of it, Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean physical. A few days leave change on kitchen table in pence, or how or why, but what these animals eat one egg and a dozen pints, but the other later, the doctor saw they must also digest and eventually way round. because we want to play bingo tonight. Morris walking down the street with a excrete. Some brazen or desperate - or gorgeous young woman on his arm. A simply lazy - local gathered the beans, When you leave my milk knock on my Please leave no milk today. When I say couple of days later the doctor spoke to which come through the digestion process bedroom window and wake me because I Morris and said, "You're really doing great, today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this fairly intact, still wrapped in layers of the want you to give me a hand to turn the aren't you?" Morris replied, "just doing what note yesterday. cherries' mucilage. The enzymes in the mattress. you said Doc: ' Get a hot mamma and be animals' stomachs, though, appear to add cheerful'." The doctor said, "I didn't say something unique to the coffee's flavour Please knock. My TV's broken down and I When you leave the milk please put the that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be through fermentation. missed last night's Coronation Street. If you coal on the boiler, let dog out and put careful'." saw it, will you tell me what happened over newspaper inside the screen door. PS. What started as, presumably, a way for the a cup of tea? Don't leave any milk. natives to get coffee without climbing the The darkest hour is the one just trees has since evolved into the world's before dawn. My daughter says she wants a milkshake. priciest specialty coffee. Japan buys the No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 Do you do it before you deliver? or do I bulk of Kopi Luwak. The total annual crop is either as he is dead until further notice. have to shake the bottle? less than 250 Kgs.