The Lotus Dream Letter to Ishtar From: Normandy France To: Buddhist Meditation Retreat Centre Gaïa House West Ogwell Newton Abbot, Devon TQ126EW UK August and [September] 2016 Hello M. F. N. O., [Hello my Dearest Flourishing Lotus Dream] I want to call you by another name ("Ishtar") and I hope it pleases you to allow me to do so. My name is Pat H. and I was born in Paris France in 1963. [Maybe you could give me another name too, and we will having fun changing our names, our faces, our costumes and our stories, "so(we)", our spirits, bodies, hearts and speeches, can experience some true love with some true intimacy...] [When a lie is known as a lie before it is said, it is not a lie any more, it becomes a theatre play, a figure of style, a representation of the art of life, an indirect picture of a living world. So I can now express officially that all this text is a true fiction fabricated in my mind, invented and imagined by a simple shaman for a blue green meditating sister, to better reflect the illusion of a shared reality and to illustrate what might be a Buddhist Love Affair: The Lotus Dream.] Letter to Ishtar : The Lotus Dream, page 1/91 http://hautrive.wordpress.com I have to write to you so I tell you how I feel, so I ask you how do you feel, and so ªI(we)º can sleep in peace again [and think about something else than you you you always you, me me me always me and us]. [The truth is that the purpose of these writings are to awake us to some joyful freedom of love. I have been sleeping very much less, today Thursday, awaking very early this morning, listening to my brain who is inviting me to get up from bed and quickly go write again the new plans elaborated during the night, for some new truths to be revealed. That is the duty of the writer, who has to follow the inspiration on time, being present for the shining flow of light, when it comes, arises and enlighten the consciousness. Some other times, when I have spare time, I just practice ªsleeping mindfulnessº like sheeps in a field of opium would count the leaves falling from the trees, for hours or days, just to really rest under the blue sky in the peacefulness of the stillness of the night.] [The higher truth is that I write to tell me how I feel, how "I(we)" feels about all this, to tell me how do you feel, and so I can still be with you, and respond to the feelings of you(rs) that I recreate in my memory. The higher higher truth is that you write to me, in this text you are me and I am you. The real truth is that I write to clean, clear, calm, ease, pacify and purify those moments that we shared together at Gaïa House, to flush and freshen our present and to invite a better future, because I know that all our present is known as it was decided for us to be.] [Today Sunday, I listen to the French Radio France Culture, and it is hard to concentrate on writing as they talk beautifully, eloquently and with erudition on some old painting that was sold to a Scottish man, ªThe death of S.º, and while the world here too tells me about our love, while I write more and more, I can see how the picture I see tell, changes, grows, floats and flies.] In all I do I do with a loving enlightening mind Letter to Ishtar : The Lotus Dream, page 2/91 http://hautrive.wordpress.com Things have been going wrong since we first met and talk, and I am sorry for this is not right and partly our responsibility. [I hope you are feeling good and that your practise is fruitful for you. I hope Gaïa House is good too. May the lights of Autumn and of Winter be great to see feel.] [F**k, this is dam true, I wouldn©t be writing, colouring and dreaming, if you weren©t meditating on the other side of the world, or if I was there too by your same side in a cool peaceful bliss.] [I need to be more me if I want to be more with you] [And what about if we just could allow ourselves to say, that things have never been better, so good and so promising. Maybe it takes to really go down to push our way up again. Maybe we needed this just little soft tiny place of dissatisfaction to give rise to our willingness to improve a situation. Maybe our light is much more seen when there is some darkness around it. Maybe this soup is tastier with some salad and toasts on the side. Maybe we want pepper with the salt, making the spicy chutney contrast an indisputable evidence of clarity that will rejoice and relax the neuronal functions of our guts with its smoothering and charming colourful simplicity.] Maybe, you too wonder like I do, if [or when] we would ever meet again, and have the chance to know and enjoy each other a little more. [Maybe it is better to let go of anything that is neither green, nor blue. But before I start I want to send to you some loving thoughts. You had your meditation cushion reserved and I had to leave as my time was over there. We both preferred to comply and hide behind the retreat rules of silence, nobody made a single move to break through our sorrow. Love requires some courage and some joyful simplicity to be. Who ever wants to share the price of a victory, must spare the willingness, the risk and the generosity of an engagement.] [I didn©t say goodbye, just a flower to the Buddha. Misery of an ever gone past.] [There are no rules but there is no love without lovers] Letter to Ishtar : The Lotus Dream, page 3/91 http://hautrive.wordpress.com [Today Sunday, I made some very very so slow walking meditation by the lake, and I realised how a little change can lead to a big change. Inspired by some little sweet angel, they have been growing nice dark kale here on the garden areas and some colourful rainbow chard too near the city centre, and some lovely white cosmos flower by the green dinosaur dragon, I thought you would enjoy to hear that, as it sounds almost like the Gaïa Garden, just across the channel.] [Sometimes, things happen all the times, and since my return in France, I have been wandering all the time around you. When I tried not to bother at all, my mind always come back to you. Have we lived what we tried to shared together, just for nothing ? Have we known each other enough already that there is nothing more to say, to see, to be ? Have we settled our minds, buried our case, to leave another abandoned script on the shelf of our memory ? Have the big curtains dropped down on the stage for the people, the musicians and the actors to go home ?] May it be like it is May it be like this always May it be how it should be for us May it be how we want it to be for us May we be happy for the life we all choose During the month of August, we have been crossing, meeting and being with each other so many times and in so many places in Gaïa©s House, looking, wondering, feeling, smiling, following, exchanging subtle communications, that it became for us a real story, or just a dream for me : [Gosh it is September now.] [We weren©t on a retreat, we were on the tracking of ourselves. I make stories, but we did lived something together. Those subtle real events that happened between us have to be addressed, because it would make us indifferent people, if we kept silence and acted as nothing had ever happened. Our heart and spirit would be very much damaged, our lives would be changed for ever, if we would allow ourselves to disregard love, to abandon loving kindness, to look down on shared feelings and pridefully depreciate other©s emotions towards oneself. Love is so rare and precious in this world, it would be cruel and crazy not to look at it, to see it not, to give it not a chance. So rare, to reveal itself, invite oneself, happen to call souls on a journey.] [Detachment with equanimity is very much different from systematic refusal, prudishly dignity, opposition and stoicism or sadism are very far away from Buddhism, because it lacks the Ethics of a community, as well as the loving kindness and the compassionate right attitude which is at the core of Buddhism, and ªthe golden ruleº of any spiritual practice in any religion of the world.] [Yeah, yeah, yeah my lovely sweet heart, nobody is talking about God yet, [only in privacy] we are just talking about being better human beings, being happier, more at ease and more in peace, so relax, enjoy the ride, and learn a little something about our own spinning empty spirit.] Letter to Ishtar : The Lotus Dream, page 4/91 http://hautrive.wordpress.com [In a Buddhist understanding, it would not be very skilful, to let go such feelings of kindness, love and compassion, as they are very useful for helping us to change and progress in our spiritual practice and daily experience.