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An Ellora's Cave Romantica Publication Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html An Ellora’s Cave Romantica Publication www.ellorascave.com Heavenly Hijinks ISBN # 1-4199-0534-1 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Heavenly Hijinks Copyright© 2006 Ashley Ladd Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Edited by Heather Osborn. Cover art by Lissa Waitley & Syneca. Electronic book Publication: August 2006 This book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the publisher, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.®1056 Home Avenue,AkronOH44310-3502 . This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously. Warning: The following material contains graphic sexual content meant for mature readers. This story has been rated S-ensuous by a minimum of three independent reviewers. Ellora’s Cave Publishing offers three levels of Romantica™ reading entertainment: S (S-ensuous), E (E-rotic), and X (X-treme). S-ensuouslove scenes are explicit and leave nothing to the imagination. E-roticlove scenes are explicit, leave nothing to the imagination, and are high in volume per the overall word count. In addition, some E-rated titles might contain fantasy material that some readers find objectionable, such as bondage, submission, same sex encounters, forced seductions, and so forth. E-rated titles are the most graphic titles we carry; it is common, for instance, for an author to use words such as “fucking”, “cock”, “pussy”, and such within their work of literature. X-tremetitles differ from E-rated titles only in plot premise and storyline execution. Unlike E-rated titles, stories designated with the letter X tend to contain controversial subject matter not for the faint of heart. HEAVENLYHIJINKS Ashley Ladd Trademarks Acknowledgment The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction: Armani: GA Modefine S.A. Barbie: Mattel, Inc. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Bewitched: Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. Blue Tooth:ICA .USA . G&S Calgon: Calgon Corporation Calvin Kline: Phillips–Van Heusen Corporation Chippendales: Chippendales USA, Inc. Evian: Societe Anonyme des Eaux Minerales d’Evian George of the Jungle: Disney Enterprises, Inc. Google: Google, Inc. Gucci: Gucci America, Inc. Harley–Davidson Motorcycles: H-D Michigan, Inc. Sun Signs: Linda Goodman, Bantam Manolo Blahniks: Blahnik, Manolo Individual Prada: Prefel S.A. Corporation Prozac: Eli Lilly and Company Corporation Tarzan: Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc. Heavenly Hijinks Chapter One As nonchalantly as he could, Leo glanced to his right and then his left. The Gemini twins were knitting. Knitting ! Scorpio was chasing some tail—his own. And Pisces…Pisces was swimming—in circles. Surely they must perish from the tedium. Daughter of Cronus, what had his zodiac family come to? It was his birthday and he didn’t want to spend it with these sticks-in-the-mud. Last year the dorks had thrown a party in his honor. And what a party—punch and cookies. Not even spiked punch. Not one burnt sacrifice had been offered. Worst of all, Sagittarius had thought it’d be fun to pin the tail—on him. Brooding and deep in thought, a growl rumbled deep and low in Leo’s chest as he peered down from the heavens at all his little mortal Leos scurrying about on the planet below. On the whole, his charges were well and happy. No one overly misbehaved. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Meanwhile, the stars were losing their twinkle. Bored out of his skull, he surfed a moonbeam over to his good buddy Cancer. “What’s up, dude? How about you and me hit the cosmos and find a couple of hot babes?” Cancer picked at something in his craw and grunted. “Can’t today. I got a little something hot planned with Virgo.” Leo shrugged and flipped his waist-length hair behind his shoulders. If Virgo was in Cancer’s house, so be it. He seriously doubted the teasing virgin would let him go beyond second base, no matter how smooth his friend’s golden tongue. “Okay. Later, dude.” He jumped aboard a shooting star and rode it to Cassiopeia. He let his appreciative gaze roam her delicious curves. “Hey, baby. How ‘bout you and me celebrate my birthday in style?” Cassiopeia’s ethereal gown shimmied as she sashayed toward him. She planted her fists on her hips and her arctic gaze froze him out. “Aren’t you a bit old for these shenanigans?” What shenanigans? Bristling, he took a step away from her majesty, the ice princess. “Old? I’m 3500 yearsyoung .” He had at least five hundred more years ‘til he became an old coot. She raised a finely arched brow and folded her arms across her chest. “Get lost. Go sniff around elsewhere.” He’d be damned if he’d tuck his tail between his legs and slink off. Instead, he roared and stood tall and proud. “Grow up.” She turned to her friend Pisces, and they laughed together. 5 Ashley Ladd His pride wounded, Leo flicked his tail and jutted his chin in the air. “Just wait until it’syourbirthday. See if I care.” Like it was so bad to have a threesome? Would she have been more receptive if it had been with another man? Cassiopeia flicked her wrist with disdain. “Whatever.” He thought he heard her mutter, “Insolent braggart.” Her tinkling laughter grated on his sensitive ears. He kicked himself for wasting his time with these losers. “Who needs you anyway,” he mumbled. A sudden, uncontrollable urge to leave his house and feast elsewhere consumed him. The planet below sparkled. In fact, it didn’t just sparkle—it glowed. Mischief brewed in his soul and suddenly he knew he had to lose himself amongst the mortals, to go where he was revered as a god, where he wouldn’t crash and burn with the babes. “Hasta la vista, baby.” He caught an earthbound comet and escaped the unheavenly heavens. * * * * * Clestie Williams gaped at her aunt’s little shop of horrors—herlittle shop of horrors. Groaning, her hands splayed wide, she turned to her cousin and best friend, Elizabeth Lombard. “What was Aunt Petunia Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html thinking, leaving an occult shop to us, and in particular tome ? You’re an accountant. I’m a professional dancer, not a soothsayer.” At least, shehoped the injury to her leg would heal, permitting her to return to the dance world. Clestie flicked her gaze over the innumerable jars of frogs’ tongues, dried locusts, witches’ wart and even more horrendous stuff that lined the walls, and shivered. Whoever thought dried bug guts was an aphrodisiac was nuts, and she didn’t want to meet them. “Bless her soul, but Aunt Petunia was a little off her rocker.” Oy! Now she sounded like her dad. He’d never liked Petunia, had even tried to keep Clestie away from her “demonic” influence. Elizabethchuckled. She had Petunia’s coloring, unlike Clestie who favored her father’s side of the family, with her rich chestnut hair and short, chubby figure, her sweet, velvety chocolate eyes and pug nose. And most particularly with her dowdy, nondescript dress. She definitely wasn’t the fashionista Clestie prided herself on being. “Aunt Petunia was a certified sweetie. And dancer or not, it won’t hurt you to own a business.” Clestie’s eyes crossed at the jars labeled “dried camel testicles” and “Druid’s Fantasy”—this was something she’d never seen on Broadway. Not evenoff ,off Broadway. “Oh yeah, she was a sweetie. Aninsane sweetie.” “That’syour dad talking.Good old Uncle Henry .”Elizabeth picked up the business ledgers from the nearby desk and narrowed her accountant’s shrewd eyes. She turned one of the books around and placed her fingernail under the bottom line. “She was also one heck of anastute insane sweetie. Apparently, this occult stuff is a booming business. Half my clients would kill for books this far in the black.” 6 Heavenly Hijinks Clestie looked over the top of her reading glasses at the dingy little shop and then peered at the bottom line and whistled long and low under her breath. She perused the shop again, shaking her head at a jar labeled “flies’ wings”. “Seems there are a lot of nuts running loose out there that like this stuff.” And she was scared witless to meet them, too. Elizabethsnapped the records shut with a tsk-tsk. “Looks like our clientelelovethis stuff, and we’re not going to keep them calling them names.” “Ourclientele? You don’t seriously expect us to run this place, do you? Count me out. Oh no, no, no. You can have it or put it up on the auction block if you don’t want it.” Elizabethstood with a sigh. “And disappoint Aunt Petunia? She entrusted her baby to us, and she wants us to carry on her legacy. We’re all that’s left of the family.” Loyalty to her father and love for her dear old batty aunt warred in Clestie’s heart. Petunia had been such a godsend after her mother’s early death. She pointed a shaky finger at her cousin. “That’s blackmail.” “No. I’m just speaking what’s already in your heart.”Elizabeth rounded the table set up to display sparkling crystal balls and gave Clestie a hug.
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