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An Ellora’s Cave Romantica Publication

www.ellorascave.com

Heavenly Hijinks

ISBN # 1-4199-0534-1

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Heavenly Hijinks Copyright© 2006 Ashley Ladd Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Edited by Heather Osborn.

Cover art by Lissa Waitley & Syneca.

Electronic book Publication: August 2006

This book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the publisher, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.®1056 Home Avenue,AkronOH44310-3502 .

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

Warning:

The following material contains graphic sexual content meant for mature readers. This story has been rated S-ensuous by a minimum of three independent reviewers.

Ellora’s Cave Publishing offers three levels of Romantica™ reading entertainment: S (S-ensuous), E (E-rotic), and X (X-treme).

S-ensuouslove scenes are explicit and leave nothing to the imagination.

E-roticlove scenes are explicit, leave nothing to the imagination, and are high in volume per the overall word count. In addition, some E-rated titles might contain fantasy material that some readers find objectionable, such as bondage, submission, same sex encounters, forced seductions, and so forth. E-rated titles are the most graphic titles we carry; it is common, for instance, for an author to use words such as “fucking”, “cock”, “pussy”, and such within their work of literature.

X-tremetitles differ from E-rated titles only in plot premise and storyline execution. Unlike E-rated titles, stories designated with the letter X tend to contain controversial subject matter not for the faint of heart.

HEAVENLYHIJINKS

Ashley Ladd

Trademarks Acknowledgment

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

Armani: GA Modefine S.A.

Barbie: Mattel, Inc. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Bewitched: Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc.

Blue Tooth:ICA .USA . G&S

Calgon: Calgon Corporation

Calvin Kline: Phillips–Van Heusen Corporation

Chippendales: Chippendales USA, Inc.

Evian: Societe Anonyme des Eaux Minerales d’Evian

George of the Jungle: Disney Enterprises, Inc.

Google: Google, Inc.

Gucci: Gucci America, Inc.

Harley–Davidson Motorcycles: H-D Michigan, Inc.

Sun Signs: Linda Goodman, Bantam

Manolo Blahniks: Blahnik, Manolo Individual

Prada: Prefel S.A. Corporation

Prozac: Eli Lilly and Company Corporation

Tarzan: Edgar Rice Burroughs, Inc.

Heavenly Hijinks

Chapter One

As nonchalantly as he could, Leo glanced to his right and then his left. The Gemini twins were knitting. Knitting ! Scorpio was chasing some tail—his own. And Pisces…Pisces was swimming—in circles. Surely they must perish from the tedium.

Daughter of Cronus, what had his zodiac family come to? It was his birthday and he didn’t want to spend it with these sticks-in-the-mud.

Last year the dorks had thrown a party in his honor. And what a party—punch and cookies. Not even spiked punch. Not one burnt sacrifice had been offered. Worst of all, Sagittarius had thought it’d be fun to pin the tail—on him.

Brooding and deep in thought, a growl rumbled deep and low in Leo’s chest as he peered down from the heavens at all his little mortal Leos scurrying about on the planet below. On the whole, his charges were well and happy. No one overly misbehaved. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Meanwhile, the stars were losing their twinkle. Bored out of his skull, he surfed a moonbeam over to his good buddy Cancer. “What’s up, dude? How about you and me hit the cosmos and find a couple of hot babes?”

Cancer picked at something in his craw and grunted. “Can’t today. I got a little something hot planned with Virgo.”

Leo shrugged and flipped his waist-length hair behind his shoulders. If Virgo was in Cancer’s house, so be it. He seriously doubted the teasing virgin would let him go beyond second base, no matter how smooth his friend’s golden tongue. “Okay. Later, dude.”

He jumped aboard a shooting star and rode it to Cassiopeia. He let his appreciative gaze roam her delicious curves. “Hey, baby. How ‘bout you and me celebrate my birthday in style?”

Cassiopeia’s ethereal gown shimmied as she sashayed toward him. She planted her fists on her hips and her arctic gaze froze him out. “Aren’t you a bit old for these shenanigans?”

What shenanigans?

Bristling, he took a step away from her majesty, the ice princess. “Old? I’m 3500 yearsyoung .” He had at least five hundred more years ‘til he became an old coot.

She raised a finely arched brow and folded her arms across her chest. “Get lost. Go sniff around elsewhere.”

He’d be damned if he’d tuck his tail between his legs and slink off. Instead, he roared and stood tall and proud.

“Grow up.” She turned to her friend Pisces, and they laughed together.

5 Ashley Ladd

His pride wounded, Leo flicked his tail and jutted his chin in the air. “Just wait until it’syourbirthday. See if I care.” Like it was so bad to have a threesome? Would she have been more receptive if it had been with another man?

Cassiopeia flicked her wrist with disdain. “Whatever.”

He thought he heard her mutter, “Insolent braggart.” Her tinkling laughter grated on his sensitive ears. He kicked himself for wasting his time with these losers. “Who needs you anyway,” he mumbled.

A sudden, uncontrollable urge to leave his house and feast elsewhere consumed him. The planet below sparkled. In fact, it didn’t just sparkle—it glowed. Mischief brewed in his soul and suddenly he knew he had to lose himself amongst the mortals, to go where he was revered as a god, where he wouldn’t crash and burn with the babes. “Hasta la vista, baby.” He caught an earthbound comet and escaped the unheavenly heavens.

* * * * *

Clestie Williams gaped at her aunt’s little shop of horrors—herlittle shop of horrors. Groaning, her hands splayed wide, she turned to her cousin and best friend, Elizabeth Lombard. “What was Aunt Petunia Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

thinking, leaving an occult shop to us, and in particular tome ? You’re an accountant. I’m a professional dancer, not a soothsayer.” At least, shehoped the injury to her leg would heal, permitting her to return to the dance world.

Clestie flicked her gaze over the innumerable jars of frogs’ tongues, dried locusts, witches’ wart and even more horrendous stuff that lined the walls, and shivered. Whoever thought dried bug guts was an aphrodisiac was nuts, and she didn’t want to meet them. “Bless her soul, but Aunt Petunia was a little off her rocker.” Oy! Now she sounded like her dad. He’d never liked Petunia, had even tried to keep Clestie away from her “demonic” influence.

Elizabethchuckled. She had Petunia’s coloring, unlike Clestie who favored her father’s side of the family, with her rich chestnut hair and short, chubby figure, her sweet, velvety chocolate eyes and pug nose. And most particularly with her dowdy, nondescript dress. She definitely wasn’t the fashionista Clestie prided herself on being. “Aunt Petunia was a certified sweetie. And dancer or not, it won’t hurt you to own a business.”

Clestie’s eyes crossed at the jars labeled “dried camel testicles” and “Druid’s Fantasy”—this was something she’d never seen on Broadway. Not evenoff ,off Broadway. “Oh yeah, she was a sweetie. Aninsane sweetie.”

“That’syour dad talking.Good old Uncle Henry .”Elizabeth picked up the business ledgers from the nearby desk and narrowed her accountant’s shrewd eyes. She turned one of the books around and placed her fingernail under the bottom line. “She was also one heck of anastute insane sweetie. Apparently, this occult stuff is a booming business. Half my clients would kill for books this far in the black.”

6 Heavenly Hijinks

Clestie looked over the top of her reading glasses at the dingy little shop and then peered at the bottom line and whistled long and low under her breath. She perused the shop again, shaking her head at a jar labeled “flies’ wings”. “Seems there are a lot of nuts running loose out there that like this stuff.” And she was scared witless to meet them, too.

Elizabethsnapped the records shut with a tsk-tsk. “Looks like our clientelelovethis stuff, and we’re not going to keep them calling them names.”

“Ourclientele? You don’t seriously expect us to run this place, do you? Count me out. Oh no, no, no. You can have it or put it up on the auction block if you don’t want it.”

Elizabethstood with a sigh. “And disappoint Aunt Petunia? She entrusted her baby to us, and she wants us to carry on her legacy. We’re all that’s left of the family.”

Loyalty to her father and love for her dear old batty aunt warred in Clestie’s heart. Petunia had been such a godsend after her mother’s early death. She pointed a shaky finger at her cousin. “That’s blackmail.”

“No. I’m just speaking what’s already in your heart.”Elizabeth rounded the table set up to display sparkling crystal balls and gave Clestie a hug.

Warmth flowed through Clestie and sudden tears stung her eyes. The tears she’d been holding back since their aunt’s death broke through her dam of resolve and she sobbed on her cousin’s shoulder for Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

several moments.

Elizabethpatted her back. “There, there. Aunt Petunia wouldn’t want you to be sad.”

Clestie tried to smile past the haze of tears and finally a tremulous smile broke through. “She wouldn’t.” But she couldn’t stop the tears.

When the waterfall slowed to a trickle, she gazed around the shop again, more daunted than ever. Her gaze landed on the séance table, and uneasy chills seeped into her bones. As much as she’d adored her great-aunt, she’d never understood her penchant for the occult. Her fanatically religious father had deemed anything occult to be demonic. Stuck between the two ideologies, Clestie had gone her own way, down a safer middle path, avoiding both extremes—until now, when she was being forced to choose. “I don’t know the first thing about this New Age stuff. I don’t have one whit of ESP.”

Elizabethclucked her tongue and tapped her foot. “Maybe you do. You’ve just never given it a chance.”

Clestie stared down her nose at her very practical, very logical cousin who’d obviously lost her ever-loving mind. “You really think so?”

“I don’t know. But it certainly is fascinating.”Elizabeth bent low and peered into the crystal ball that seemed to swirl with mist the closer she moved toward it. “It’s your business. You’ll learn. Besides, our aunt employed a couple of very capable helpers. Surely they’ll want to keep their jobs.”

7 Ashley Ladd

“Oh yeah. Sun and Moon.” WhenElizabeth ’s brow rose, Clestie continued, “At least that’s what Aunt Petunia always called them. God, I hope that’s not their real names.”

Elizabethnodded. “I hope not.” She flipped through the pages of their aunt’s little black book. “Aha! Here’s their phone numbers. Call them and see if they’ll stay on.” She handed a cell phone to Clestie with one of the numbers punched in.

The bell over the shop’s front door tinkled and Clestie’s head snapped up. She squinted at the flustered older woman with spiked neon hair and eyes lined with thick, clumpy eye-liner who breezed through the door.

“We’re closed.” Annoyed, Clestie swore at herself for not dead-bolting the door and boarding up the place.

The woman’s face pinched and panic flooded her heavily rouged face. “Good lordy, no! You have to help me. Where’s Petunia? This is an emergency.”

Clestie murmured an aside to her cousin, “Only boys in white suits can help her.”

Elizabethjabbed her in the ribs. With clenched teeth like a ventriloquist, she whispered in a sing-song voice, “Don’t insult the client.”

Clestie cleared her throat. “Our great-aunt Petunia recently passed away. We’ve inherited her shop.”

The woman slumped and clutched the counter as her cheeks paled beneath her paint. “Oh my Lord. How awful. Where’s Sun?” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“We’ve not talked to the staff yet. We don’t know if they’ll be returning,”Elizabeth said with an appropriately subdued tone as she primly folded her hands.

The woman took a deep gulp and then put an inhaler to her mouth and dragged several deep puffs into her lungs, hacking between each inhalation. “I hope she’s not had the baby yet. I’m desperate.” She sucked on the inhaler again.

Baby?Desperate ?

Cash cow or not, Clestie didn’t know if she could take such drama. She removed her reading glasses and plunked them on top of her head. “I’m really very sorry. We’re just not set up yet. Can we get you a cup of coffee? Tea?”

Vodka,straight up ?

The woman invaded her personal space, her fishy breath overpowering Clestie.

Her hands stroked Clestie’s face making her shiver, and she had the urge to smack them away. Instead, she backed up quickly.

Still, the spooky would-be client peered closely at her. “Who are you? You look like Petunia.”

“I do?” Clestie gulped. “Petunia is—was—my mother’s aunt.” She’d really been more of a grandmother to her.

Relief flooded the woman’s gray eyes and a spot of natural color returned to her cheeks. “Then you’ll have inherited her gifts. You can help me.”

8 Heavenly Hijinks

Before Clestie could sneak in a protest, the woman broke into raucous sobs and squeezed the breath from her. “Thank the gods, we’re saved.”

The gods?

Clestie desperately needed a puff on the woman’s inhaler. Her pulse raced and her lungs were about to explode. She tried to extricate herself from the death grip but couldn’t budge. “I-I don’t have any gifts.”

Elizabethpinched her arm and glared. She mouthed, “Fake it.”

Clestie gulped. Over the woman’s shoulder, she mouthed back, “I don’t know enough to fake it.” She was a complete occult virgin. She’d successfully resisted her aunt’s many attempts to indoctrinate her in this weird world out of respect for her father.

The woman cackled insanely. “Oh, I’m sure it flows through you. How could it not when it was so very strong in Petunia?”

What part of no did the daffy woman not understand? “I’ll call Sun and see if she can help you.” She tilted her head atElizabeth . “Call her,” she mouthed as she passed her the cell phone. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

A couple minutes laterElizabeth returned with a frown. She pulled Clestie to a private corner and whispered, “Sun’s in labor. And she’s taking at least a three-month maternity leave,if she returns at all.”

Clestie stifled a moan and massaged her aching forehead. “Great. Just great. What else can go wrong?”

The bell tinkled again and Clestie slumped against the counter and breathed a sigh of inordinate relief. “Hallelujah! She left.”

Then a duet of voices interrupted the blessed silence, and Clestie’s heart skipped a beat. She clawed atElizabeth ’s wrist. “Hurry. Lock the door. They’re multiplying.” Like an invasion of locusts and all the other frightening biblical stuff in Revelations.

Her cousin rolled her eyes and shook off her death grip. “Our aunt was revered.”

Clestie could go for a little mediocrity about now. “Do I have to go out there?” She’d rather face a swarm of locusts.

“Afraid so.”Elizabeth patted her back.

She wishedElizabeth had a canister of oxygen as well. She might have to purchase an inhaler of her own. Truly, she’d have to practice her deep breathing exercises as soon as she could get a few minutes to herself. The way things were going, she’d have to lock herself in the bathroom to get any private time. “Save me.”

Her cousin cracked a smile. “Welcome to the joys of entrepreneurship.”

Clestie checked her watch and almost groaned when it only emphasized how many hours of daylight were left. “You mean theheadaches .”

The bell tinkled again…and again. By the time Clestie ran to the front, a mini mob had formed. She dragged in several deep, cleansing breaths. “I’m sorry, but we’re not open for business.”

9 Ashley Ladd

“But we’re lost. We need guidance.” They started chanting, “Sun. Moon. Sun. Moon.”

A tall blond man with golden tresses cascading down his back pushed through the crowd. And he was only wearing a loincloth! But he moved oh-so sensually, with leonine grace and assured strides, that he could be forgiven anything. “Perhaps I can lend assistance. I am a master of reading the zodiacal charts and prophesying fortunes. I also read the tarot.”

Really needing that oxygen desperately now, Clestie was about to hyperventilate as her gaze took in the nearly naked Tarzan. Mesmerized by the man’s godlike beauty, Clestie’s skin tingled in decadently scandalous ways and she prayed that mind-reading wasn’t another one of his many talents. Her respiration shallowed and perspiration beaded heavily on her brow, threatening to run into her eyes. She dabbed at the tiny droplets with her fingers as she searched for her voice. After several muffled attempts, she finally croaked out, “You can?”

Elizabethhissed, “Mr. Chippendales is stealing our business. Kick him out.”

Ignoring her cousin, Clestie stepped forward, trying not to ogle the man’s hunky bod. But his rippling Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

muscles and shimmering hair made her pussy clench and her nipples peak so tightly that she was about to orgasm without anyone touching her. His intensely golden eyes and sparkling smile stole her breath. “Are you applying for a job?”

10 Heavenly Hijinks

Chapter Two

Leo flashed his killer smile down at the diminutive mortal. Indeed, the beautiful Petunia of Petunia’s Mystic Sensations was a prize of rare perfection, one to rival the beauty of his sisters, Aphrodite and Athena. Although there was a hint of desperation in her musky scent, she wasn’t one of his out-of-control Leos. He detected a small trace of Leo in the lovely woman, but not enough to dominate her. If she was overwhelmed by something, he couldn’t take the blame. “Yes, my fair lady. I very much wish to help.”

The blonde beauty looked as if she was about to fling herself at his feet and plead to be the mother of his offspring, but then seemed to think better of it.

Pity.

He’d gladly take a suckle of those pert nipples, bury his cock deep inside her velvety folds and lose himself in her amazing eyes the color of the deep cerulean waves of the vast ocean. He longed to bury his nose in her flowery scented ash-blonde curls. But he had to stick to his agenda. He required Petunia’s aid to return home to the cosmos before Zeus, his father, demonstrated his legendary lack of patience. He sensed magic oozing from her small frame and could not afford to let her slip from his paws.

“You’re hired. Can you start now? This minute?” Hope flared in her eyes. And pleading.

Her voice chimed like sweet music upon his ears. He had to tear his gaze from her and then let his glance take in all his little Leos that clamored around him. The hope in their eyes made his heart contract with love—and guilt. They shouldn’t have to suffer for the naughtiness of his heart. Vowing to help, he turned up the voltage on his smile and tried to ignore the swelling cock that was following its own agenda, one that had everything to do with the luscious beauty. “My pleasure. Point me to a table.”

“Oh bless you.” The beauty reached for his arm but then indecision flashed across her lovely eyes and she let her hand drop to her side.

The mortal befuddled his senses like no other, and a strong need to touch her overwhelmed him. He had traveled far and wide these past couple of weeks, keeping to the beach or the shadows until he found someone to help him, and he lifted prayers of thanksgiving to Aphrodite that she had heeded his entreaties. Laying claim to his prize, he tucked her hand through his arm and pulled her close to his side. “No. Blessyou , my dear.”

He’d pull a star down from the heavens just to keep that delicious smile on his passionflower’s lips, except stars were already twinkling in her eyes. He whispered in her ear and his breath blew her wispy hair about her exquisite cheeks, “’Tis a grave sin

11 Ashley Ladd

for your beauty to be earthbound. It should be displayed in the cosmos for all to worship.” Indeed, she should be exalted toMt.Olympus . Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Her laughter fell sweeter than drops of honey to his ears and warmed his glowing heart. What a refreshing change from the ice-maidens Virgo and Cassiopeia. He could very easily become accustomed to this.

The shop owner squeezed his arm and gazed with longing into his eyes. “You’re going to do well here.”

The beauty’s plump brunette handmaiden held out her hand in greeting. “Welcome aboard.”

He winked at the comely wench and offered a small grin. He bet that one was an Aquarius. Or a Gemini.

His new clients crowded around. One maid well-worn with age stroked his locks. As if defying the coming of years, she wore her bright orange hair short and spiky. A long white gauzy skirt swished against her calves and was topped by a funky t-shirt depicting the galaxy. Her ears were studded with six pairs of gold earrings and several tattoos decorated her flesh. “Are you a romance cover model?” she crooned.

Warmed by the compliment, he bestowed a smile upon her. “No. I’m the real deal.” He refrained from admitting that a couple of very famous cover models were created in his image, including but not limited to their glorious waist-length blond manes. Or that both were Leos.

When Petunia frowned, he added, “I’m Leo.” He mourned the mortals of old. In ancient times, women had passed out at his feet at the discovery that they had a demi-god in their midst. From his rueful observations, a good deal of contemporary mortals felt as if they themselves were godlike and thus didn’t revere any god. Very few were left like the fabled Petunia that he’d been told about at several occult shops.

Petunia released his arm and held out her hand to shake his. “Nice to meet you, Leo. I’m Clestie Williams, the new co-owner of Mystic Sensations.”

Her friendly handmaiden beamed at him and shook his hand. “I’m Elizabeth Lombard, Clestie’s cousin and co-owner. Petunia was our aunt.”

Everyone else tripped over each other to pay homage and introduce themselves.

Leo’s head spun.Clestie and Elizabeth,not Petunia ? When the last mortal finished pumping his hand, he separated himself from the crowd and held up his hand for silence. When all gazes were fully upon him, he announced, “I amthe Leo. TheNemean Lion. The god of the zodiac constellation.”

Clestie’s brows knit together. Disbelief, anger and then finally pity washed across Clestie’s flawless features. She exchanged troubled glances with her colleague.

Dismay flickered in Elizabeth’s eyes.

Telling himself he should have known better, Leo stifled a sigh. The knowledge that the world had changed, that mortals were blasé, didn’t make him feel better. Even now,

12 Heavenly Hijinks

if he’d said he was his half-brother Hercules, they’d likely be swooning.Hercules—the despised name grated on his nerves and raised his hackles. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Frustrated, a growl rumbling in his chest, Leo thought of a way to impress them. Under his breath so that only the shop owners could hear, he asked, “What if I show you my tail?” The wearisome thing tickled his rear as he barely resisted the urge to shapeshift into the figure of the handsome Nemean lion. If his transformation was truly needed, he’d much rather do so in a private audience for Petunia’s nieces, especially the beautiful, blonde Clestie.

Clestie gulped and her gaze dropped to his groin. The human cleared her throat. “I—uh—everyone, it’s time to leave…”

Good. He longed for a private audience.

“You too, Mr. Lion,” Clestie said when he didn’t follow the rest of the group to the door.

“But the readings.”Their private audience . Leo scowled. His charges waited in desperate need.

Clestie closed the gap between them and lowered her voice. “I’m sure you’re in need of help, Mr.…uh…Leo, but we’re not equipped to deal with this specialized kind of assistance. I’m afraid we won’t be able to use your…uh…special…services after all.”

But his people cried out for aid! And he needed help—her help in particular—to get home. He shot his most calculated-to-charm smile at the mortal and flashed what he hoped was a hypnotizing sparkle of teeth. He took her hands in his and squeezed. “I urgently need your help.”

Her brows pinched and distrust lit her eyes.

He gazed deeply into her heavenly eyes. “I’m pleading with you. I have nowhere else to turn.”

The woman tried to pull away from his clasp. “You must have me mistaken for someone else.”

He was most certain of the address. The nymphs had led him to her, even if they’d had her name wrong. They’d sworn Petunia was the only one who could help. Now that he was here, he could feel the power vibrating through her, so much so that the magical electricity of it almost felled him to his knees. Unable to stop himself, drawn to the supernatural current pulsating in her, he rubbed a strand of her silky hair between his fingers. It was silky enough to be a lion’s mane. “’Tis no mistake. I was led here by an inimitable power.”

Heartache flickered in the woman’s eyes. “Our great-aunt had thepower .” She lowered her voice to little more than a whisper. “We don’t have a clue about this psychic stuff.”

Stuff? He couldn’t hold back a smile. Little did she know. “It’s very real. I’m proof.”

13 Ashley Ladd

“Uh-huh.” With an indrawn hiss, she yanked away from him. “Look, you. You’re scaring me. I don’t know what institution you escaped from, but you need to leavenow.”

Panic pounded heavy in his chest. He harbored no wish to leave and did not know where to find another with her powerful abilities. He followed close on her heels. “You have to help me.”

She drew a cell phone from her pocket with shaky fingers. “I don’t have to do anything except call the Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

cops.” Her gaze dropped to the cloth covering him. “The minute they catch sight of you in that, uh, getup, they’ll haul your tail off to the pokey. So if you don’t want to be caged like a lion,Leo , you best split.”

He glanced outside at the shimmering sun that drenched the horizon in its glowing rays. Soon enough darkness would overshadow the land and his constellation would be found mysteriously missing—as it had for the past few weeks. It had taken the nymphs some time to locate the mortal. A small detail like her unwillingness, even her hostility, would not deter him. One glance at his charges run amok convinced him of the dire necessity to stay and persuade her. “I have nowhere else to go. No one else to whom I can turn.”

The delicious Clestie licked her lips. “Look, we’re not a halfway house for…for…” She fumbled, shrugged her shoulders and glanced at her cousin.

Elizabeth shrugged prettily and held out her hands palms up. “Delusional hotties?”

Clestie scowled. “Look, mister. I don’t want to cause you any trouble, but we’re not equipped to help you deal with your, uh, issues.”

The orange-haired woman stepped forward and curled her fingers around his upper arm exposing a colorful tattoo of a gryphon on her wrist. “Don’t you fret none, honey. You can come home with Karly and bunk with me until you get back on your feet.” She held out her hand laden with gaudy rings on every finger. “My brother’s about your size. You come home with me tonight, sugar, and I’ll get you some warm duds so you don’t freeze your toches off.”

Not that he was cold—he was used to minus 270 degrees Celsius up in the stars. But he sensed their censure of his dress and he wished to please Clestie even if that meant donning the mortals’ irritating coverings. “Thank you.”

Karly crooked her pudgy finger at him. “Come along now, darlin’. It’s just down yonder a hop, skip and a jump.”

He let himself be led away by Karly, her adulation giving balm to his badly bruised spirit. With every step, he vowed to win over the siren-like Clestie. Beneath that ice lurked a boiling-hot woman.

* * * * *

14 Heavenly Hijinks

Clestie wiggled her fingers at the retreating entourage. “Ta-ta.” She had the strangest desire to add “Y’all come back now”, but she bit her tongue until she tasted blood.

After the last would-be patron left, she dead-bolted the door, leaned against it and slid down to the floor. Giving into her exhaustion, she sighed before gazing up at her cousin. “If that’s a taste of running Aunt Petunia’s shop, count me out. I’d rather dig ditches in my Manolos.”

Elizabeth sauntered over and held out her hand to help Clestie stand. “They weren’tthatbad. Just a little hyper at seeing the shop occupied again.”

Clestie stole a glance out the glass door but the crazy man and his crazier groupies had disappeared from view. Sunlight glistened on the cracked city pavement. From the look of it, this wasn’t the best neighborhood in Fort Lauderdale, but at least every window wasn’t covered by bars like the majority of Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Miami. “They were going into heat over George of the Jungle.”

Elizabeth guffawed and wiped imaginary perspiration from her brow. “Like we all weren’t going into nuclear meltdown? Especially you.”

Clestie gasped. “I was not! I’ll have you know I don’t go for that type.”

Elizabeth seemed to be holding back a smirk. “Drop-dead gorgeous?”

“Long-haired. Full of himself,” Clestie sparred, but despite her normal preferences, a vision of herself very naked and aroused, rolling around on a mattress swathed with that glorious mane—uh, hair—blindsided her. “You know I like my men to be polished. Cultured. Like Richard.”

Elizabeth scrunched up her face and stuck out her tongue. “You mean stick-up-his-ass, revolting Richard?”

“I mean rich, handsome,civilized Richard. You’d never see him swinging through a jungle on a vine wearing just a loincloth.” An unauthorized smile escaped at the delicious thought of Leo’s teeny-tiny scrap of material that must cover his very large, very exciting…

Sanity reasserted itself and she stomped her foot. She had been dating Richard for months and they had an understanding of sorts. “Stop that!”

Elizabeth spread her hands over her heart. “What’d I do?”

Clestie’s hands balled into fists and she strangled on a rising scream. She leapt to her feet and paced the old wooden floor that creaked every third or fourth board. Vaguely, she wondered why Aunt Petunia hadn’t fixed it. “I am not going to waste another thought on that lunatic.”

“Hot lunatic.”

Clestie stopped dead in her tracks and whirled on the demon that’d possessed her cousin. “You think he’s so hot,you seduce him. Just do me a favor and keep him out of my sight and off my premises. I don’t need a SWAT team camped out here when he freaks out.”

15 Ashley Ladd

“That guy?” Elizabeth waved her hand in the air. “The most he’d do is stage a love-in.”

A love-in… Despite herself, sizzling desire strafed her when she imagined Leo fucking her from behind surrounded by a crowd of chanting hippies. And then she broke out in a fit of giggles when the mystic shop’s clientele horned in with all their naked un-glory.

Elizabeth poked her arm. “Give. What’s so funny?”

Clestie was about to roll around on the floor howling and hooting. “I just imagined all those old biddies naked, rolling around the floor in your love-in.”

Elizabeth’s lips curved way down. “Blech! That’s not my idea of humor.”

Clestie pushed the ridiculous images from her mind. Forcing herself to sober, she strolled around her Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

shop, trailing her finger over those items that didn’t seem too gross or dangerous. “And this is not my idea of entertaining. What am I going to do? I don’t want to let Petunia down, but we’re inway over our head.”

Elizabeth crossed the room and picked up a jar labeled “dragonfly wings”. She held it up to her face and peered cross-eyed through the smoky glass. “When starting any new business venture, you have to give it at least one year. If it works, we’ll keep it going. If not, we’ll sell. That way, we won’t be too hasty and regret anything later.”

Gulp. One year? An eternity!

“How about we try it for one month? I don’t think I can commit to being away so long. How long can you be away from your job? And what about Richard, all on his lonesome down in Miami?”

“Seriously, I don’t know what you see in Richard…” Elizabeth clamped her lips into a thin line when Clestie lifted her hand in warning about the taboo subject. “Richard the prick aside, one month isn’t long enough to get a real feel for any business. We have to invest time to tell. I’ve already taken a leave of absence.”

“But ayear ?” Clestie felt like she was suffocating in this business, and they’d only been here a few hours. But truth be told, despite her doubts about running the shop, she appreciated a respite from Richard’s over-possessiveness even if she did miss the dance troupe. However, this unscheduled interlude would give her time to think things over, to search her heart from this bit of distance.

“That’s what any good accountant would advise you. You’re lucky. As your cousin and better yet, as your business partner, you get that advice free.”

“Thanks.” Clestie swiped a couple stray strands of hair away from her eyes. This swampy South Florida weather was making her melt the same way it had since the first day she’d moved to the area almost eight years ago. When the strands refused to stay put, she blew them off her forehead. Okay, not only did she have to have new floors laid, but the AC unit needed to be checked if she was going to stay any amount of time. It’d make the resale value of the place better even if they changed their mind.

16 Heavenly Hijinks

“Okay, for the sake of argument, let’s say we give this business a year. But unless we find Moon, it’s all moot anyway. I can’t do readings and, last time I checked, you can’t either. I have no clue what to do with any of this stuff.” Clestie dinged a fingernail against one of the jars. “Do they have college courses to learn this junk?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Beats me. I think it’s self-study and on-the-job training.”

“What? We just pick up a tarot deck or open Linda Goodman’s Sun Sign book and take off running? It’s imperative we get Moon back. Or some other knowledgeable person.”

Elizabeth scowled and tsk-tsked. “You’re going to talk yourself right out of a viable business with such defeatist thinking. Our aunt gave us a fantastic gift. Let’s accept it with arms wide open and run with it.”

Clestie had no doubt her aunt had good intentions, but if she’d left behind a falling-down house with the best of intentions, would she still have to accept it with wide-open arms? Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

To prove her point, Clestie set a jar of dried camel testicles in front of her cousin with a clang. “Do you have any clue how to use this? What it’s for?”

She went down the line of shelves behind the checkout counter. “Do you know what any of these are for? I can’t even guess.” She shuddered. Well, she could guess but she was sure she would be wrong. “And what if some of this stuff is combustible? Deadly?”

Elizabeth tapped her chin. “So find out. Google it.”

Clestie chortled. “And which of the gazillion websites do we believe? Every website claims to be an expert. At least half are amateurs that don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Elizabeth brightened. “We could hire that Leo guy.”

Clestie blinked. “But you said he’d steal our clientele, and we should get rid of him.”

Her cousin gave her a look. “I’ve had time to rethink. Tie him to a contract first. Then if he takes off with our business, we sue his tail off.”

Clestie still wasn’t convinced and wished she’d stop using that word. “Tail” conjured up erotic images she had no business envisioning. She stared at the sun and moon hovering over the Fort Lauderdale skyline as daylight waned and wondered where Leo’s constellation should appear. Not a zodiac aficionado, she didn’t know what part of the sky the constellation should occupy although she presumed it should resemble a lion. At least vaguely.

“You’re not pining for Reptilian Richard, are you?”

Clestie jerked up straight.Shouldshe be pining for Reptil—uh—Richard? Richard sure didn’t seem very exciting compared to Jungle Guy. “Yeah. You caught me.”

17 Ashley Ladd

“He’s notrightfor you. He’s too boring. Too straightlaced. Too controlling. He’ll put you on a short leash, dress you up like a Doctor’s Wife Barbie and parade you around.”

Clestie tore her gaze from the heavens and schooled her expression, not wanting to reveal her doubts to Elizabeth yet, at least not any more than her cousin had already surmised. Later when Elizabeth wasn’t breathing down her neck, she’d google the star charts to see where the lion should be in the sky. “Richard’s handsome and well-heeled. He’s a responsible man with a good, steady job.”

Elizabeth pretended to yawn and patted her mouth. “Borrrring. And he creeps me out. You don’t have to snag a man just because he’s a good provider. You’re going to be a successful businesswoman thanks to Aunt Petunia. You won’t have to worry about money every time your dance troupe takes a hiatus.”

Clestie was tired of arguing about Richard or the shop. She was so ready to slip into a warm tub and let Calgon take her away. “Okay, let’s see if I got this right.If we can find this Leo person andif he wants anything to do with us after the way we threatened to have him thrown in the pokey, andif we honestly think he’s harmless, we’ll offer him a job?”

18 Heavenly Hijinks Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Chapter Three

Thunderbolts heaped calamity down from a sky filled with puffy, white clouds onto the deserted residential street populated by yards filled with pastel-colored stucco houses and at least one obligatory palm tree each. Leo cringed as he dodged the bright golden spears that erupted into small fireballs when they spattered against the concrete bathed in early morning sunlight. Swearing under his breath, he raised his palms high and muttered to the apparitions of his father and stepmother hovering overhead, “Yes, Father. I acted immaturely when I fled the heavens.”

Still seething from past wrongs done to him by his sire, Leo added sarcastically, “Why not just send Hercules after me again? Your go-to boy got the job done before.”

Zeus’ voice boomed thunderously in his ears. “How many times do I have to apologize for that? Did I not exalt you to the heavens? You’re beloved! Revered as if you were a god.” Zeus mumbled under his breath, “Sometimes I think you’re more beloved than I, the god of all gods.” He added with more assertion, “You’ll be remembered throughout the eternities. But you have lessons to learn, my boy. This latest foolhardiness proves it only too well.”

Yeah,right . If only his dear old dad were truly remorseful.

Considering his half-brother Hercules had brutally murdered him, ripped his beautiful pelt off with his own claws and then used it as his shield, Zeus should keep making apologies on bended knee ‘til the end of eternity.

“But you stripped me of the power I had to lift myself back to the heavens. If you want me back so bad, why don’t you return me to the heavens?You possess the power. Or why not returnmy powers?”

“But where would the lesson be in that, my dear boy? Use your considerable charms on that delectable mortal to bring about your return. Better yet, engage your head and your heart. Look deep inside to find the answer of how to resume your rightful place. You must prove yourself worthy before you may return. The mortals can fend for themselves for a while. They scraped by well enough before we arrived on the scene.”

A huge sigh whooshed from Leo’s chest. Even if he possessed his father’s full charm, he couldn’t propel him back to his rightful place in the heavens, where he could put his Leos’ universe back to proper order and alleviate the mass chaos that was brewing because Leos were losing their senses without his celestial guidance. Indeed, this situation could threaten the mortal world if his Leos got too far out of line. He wondered why his father didn’t care more about the mortals seeing as how so many of his own offspring had been born to mortal mothers.

19 Ashley Ladd

Hera’s face reddened against the white fluffy clouds as she chimed in. “Don’t encourage the lad to abuse his charms like you, dear husband. You’re in enough eternal hot water.”

Leo really didn’t want to get involved with the problems of his father’s rocky marriage, and he definitely didn’t want to be in his stepmother’s line of fire. Zeus’ lightning bolts looked like sunbeams in comparison to her bitter jealousy.

“I’m working on it,” Leo mumbled, uncomfortably aware of passersby staring at him as he spoke into the sky. He had forgotten they could not see Zeus and Hera as he could. A few observant souls sniffed at Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

the whiffs of smoke still permeating the air from Zeus’ fireballs. Leo smiled and waved. Looking down at his feet, he gritted his teeth and tried not to move his lips. “Grant me a little more time. I’ve found someone capable of helping.”

“Just don’t let that infamous pride of yours get in your way,” Hera said, looking disdainfully down her perfect Grecian nose.

“In other words, Son, use your dick, don’t be one.”

Leo’s head snapped up and he craned his neck so he could see his father’s image in the clouds.

Hera sighed and whacked her husband in the back of his head. “Don’t be so crass. The god of all gods should know to be more circumspect.”

Zeus moved behind his wife and mouthed her words while Leo tried his hardest not to burst out laughing.

Hera whirled around and caught her hubby in the act. She scowled deeply and poked a finger in his chest. “No wonder your son is so irreverent.”

Zeus rolled his eyes. Then he sobered. “Seriously, Son, this is in your hands. I will not assist you and I have forbidden your brothers and sisters to interfere. You got yourself into this mess, and by Cronus, you have to get yourself out. It’s time to grow up. For heaven’s sake, you’re 3500 years old!”

“Yes, Father.” Embarrassed and remorseful, Leo vowed to mend his ways. He could even feel himself maturing, perhaps more than his sire. The yoke of his awesome responsibility had weighed like a boulder around his neck since he’d first let down his Leo-born babies by leaving his very important post. “I rue the day I was robbed of my senses and let down my Leos. I’ll make amends.”

“I know you’re up to this, Son. Make me proud.”

Leo’s chest puffed out. No matter how much fury his father infused in his soul, his praise always made him glow. “Yes, Father.”

“Who in tarnation are you talking to?” Karly, his benefactress from the previous evening who had kept him from sleeping on the beach yet again, wandered up to him, her gaze roaming about and her brow furrowing. This morning, she wore a long and flowing gauzy dress that bedazzled him with glitter. The soft material swayed gently about her feet adorned with jeweled sandals and rings that encircled every toe. One of

20 Heavenly Hijinks

her many tattoos, a pastel-colored hummingbird, peeked out from under the material gaping on her shoulder.

She craned her neck and peered into the clouds. “Are there aliens up there? I can’t see a danged thing.”

Startled, Leo’s heart thumped wildly against his ribs. He’d not seen Karly approach. He pretended to remove an earplug from his ear and stuff it in the pocket of the shirt Karly had let him borrow from her brother. Since he’d been on Earth, he’d seen countless mortals using contraptions as if they were talking into thin air. At first, he too thought they were talking to the gods before he’d noticed the shiny metal Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

things sticking out of their ears. He made a note himself to acquire one as soon as possible to use as a prop in future when speaking to his father. “I was talking on one of those cordless phones.”

Karly nodded. “Wish more people used those Blue Tooth ear thingies, especially when they get behind the wheel of a car.”

Glad she’d easily accepted his excuse, Leo nodded. When the mortal turned her back, he mouthed up at the heavens, “Later.”

His hostess rounded on him and tugged at his plaid shirt sleeve and then critically examined the matching shorts. “I really thought you were Hugh’s size.” She pinched his cheeks. “You’re such a big handsome boy. We’ll have to rustle you up some appropriate duds.”

Leo suppressed the growl rumbling deep in his belly. Why did everyone insist on calling him a “boy”? Or stuffing him into stuffy clothing? Soon as he could, he would change back into his loincloth. By Jove, he was a grown man—he’d just passed his 3500thbirthday!

As far as clothing went, he much preferred his loincloth. The itchy elastic waistband of the shorts chafed and the material made him break out in a rash. He tore himself away from Karly’s too-tight grip and loosed his charm. “Dearest lady, would you kindly guide me back to Petunia’s Mystic Sensations?”

Karly’s graying brows crinkled. “But you’ve been banned. I know of another much friendlier psychic shop. I’ll take you there.”

Panic roiled in his gut. He needed Clestie. He not only needed her for business purposes, he longed to see her for much more personal reasons. His groin ached and his cock strained against the too-tight shorts. He longed to shapeshift so he didn’t have to worry about these ridiculous mortal clothes.

He realized Karly was rattling on and he tried to focus on the immediate need. He cut off her rambling. “Although I deeply appreciate your concern, I have need to return to Petunia’s shop.”

Karly frowned. “That blonde niece ain’t a bit like Petunia, god bless her. I bet she was adopted. She’s all sleek and fancied up like those snobby bitches on that City Sex show. I don’t like her superior, hoity-toity manners, like she’s too good for the likes of us mere mortals.”

21 Ashley Ladd

Leo wondered at her boldness of speech and his patience wore thin. “Nevertheless, I have honest and dire need to return.”

Karly wrinkled her nose. “Well, if I can’t dissuade you, I’ll point you in the right direction, but I ain’t stepping one foot inside that woman’s place. That blonde’s a real cold fish.”

No. She wasn’t a Pisces. Of that much, he was certain. And his assessment of her temperature was definitely hot. He just had to get her cooking, and he was a master chef.

Standing shoulder to shoulder with him, Karly pointed down the street. “When you reach that busy boulevard you turn right and travel two blocks past the bowling lanes, the pool hall and Stan’s Watering Hole. You’ll cross the road at the corner by the grocery store and head two blocks further west.”

It sounded like Sumerian to him so he gave her a blank stare. He’d lived in the same neighborhood for Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

the past 3500 years, so his navigational skills had dulled.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake. For such a hunk, you sure are missing a few brain cells. I’ll guide you.” She stepped from her driveway onto the sidewalk in front of her yard.

Wishing he didn’t sound so ignorant, Leo batted his lashes and crooned as he began to follow her, “I’m from out of town. I’ll be forever grateful for your kindness.” He studied her closely. “Your birthday is on July twenty-seventh.”

Karly stopped dead and pivoted around. Her hooded eyes popped open wide and she glared. “How’d you know that? Were you peeking around in my private papers?”

“I would never be so presumptuous. I have a gift for knowing Leos.”

The woman’s bristling subsided and she patted his arm. “God compensates.”

“Oh! You know Zeus?”

Karly blinked. “Zeus?” After a moment, her features untwisted. “You meant do I knowofZeus? Well, of course. That was part of eighth-grade literature for all the middle-school kids.”

Leo nodded. Finally, after almost getting mowed down by several cars, they were in front of Petunia’s Mystic Sensations.

To his chagrin, the door was locked and the lights dimmed. Then he heard rustling around inside so he pressed his nose to the glass. After his vision adjusted, he amended his former assessment of the woman inside. Her beauty didn’t just rival that of Aphrodite, it exceeded it.

The exquisite Clestie was gyrating, high-kicking and performing gymnastics in the center of the shop. She’d pushed the crystal ball table to the side and had stretched a blue foam mat on the floor.

Dressed in a white tank top and white cotton pants, she showed more of her body than the previous day. Bright pink toenails peeked out from under the pants’ cuffs. The cottony material of her tank top clung beguilingly to her large chest and then sunk against her flat tummy. All she needed now was for a fine young buck to meet her

22 Heavenly Hijinks

thrust for thrust and to lick her gleaming skin from head to toe. As luck would have it, he was available and more than willing.

Karly cupped her hands about her eyes and gazed inside. “What’s that she’s doing in there? Modern dance? Petunia’ll be rolling over in her grave at what she’s doing to her beautiful shop.”

Leo couldn’t stand by and let the woman be insulted. “Looks like a good way to maintain her maidenly physique.”

The woman glanced down at herself with a grimace. “I ain’t saying exercise ain’t good, but there’s a time and a place.” She wrinkled her nose at the shop. “That ain’t it.”

He was glad to be in this place at this time—until the young woman stopped suddenly and seemed to Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

peer at them with x-ray vision.

At first, the rosy heat in her cheeks fled, leaving her pasty white. Then anger clouded her ocean-blue eyes. Finally recognition flashed, followed by a joyous relief.

Joy?

Relief?

He’d expected fury and rage. Instead a pretty pink blossomed high in her cheekbones and her nipples beaded and pushed out invitingly against the cotton of her tank top. Wings seemed to sprout from her feet as she ran to the door.

Karly snorted in disbelief. “Did you cast some kind of love spell on that poor woman? Yesterday she was foaming at the mouth and today she’s drooling with lust.”

The young woman fumbled with the door and finally flung it wide open. “Leo! I was afraid I’d scared you off. We need to talk.”

Karly snorted. “I’ll be moseying along now.” She spun around on her heel and scuttled away in and out of the shadows down the cracked sidewalk.

He’d catch up with Karly later and try to help her. But he wasn’t capable of giving a decent reading or advice right now with the beautiful Clestie in front of him.

23 Ashley Ladd

Chapter Four

Heat flooded Clestie’s neck and rolled up into her cheeks. Having just finished an excellent workout, she was one large sweat gland. A dancer, she was used to people watching her, even ogling her. But Leo had caught her unaware.

“I’m all yours,” Leo said, smiling.

If possible, he looked more ridiculous strutting around downtown Fort Lauderdale in his loud plaid outfit than he’d looked in a loincloth, and it took tremendous effort to bite back a laugh. To cover her discomfiture, she peered around the corner at where her aunt’s former customer had recently disappeared in a huff. “Odd little bird, isn’t she? Reminds me of an egret with her head bobbing in and out like that.”

Leo’s gaze followed hers. “She does not hold a high opinion of you either.”

Like she cared. She reared her head back to get a wider perspective of the Lion King. Had she called the Karly woman an odd bird? This guy was one hundred times stranger. The newly charged AC whooshed on her and she shivered. Glancing down at her soaked tank top, she grimaced. The outline of her bra clearly showed through. Way worse, the dusky areolas of her nipples were visible.

She gulped and crossed her arms over her chest. Slowly, she retreated and then turned away. “Make yourself at home.” She pointed to twin coffeepots, one filled with mountain blend and one with steaming water. “Pour yourself a drink and take a load off. Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Without waiting for a reply, she moved up the curved iron staircase with as much grace as she could muster, while every muscle screamed “run”.

Elizabeth passed her on the way down, and her brow lifted askance.

Clestie clamped her arms tighter about herself and tilted her head at their visitor. “Please play hostess while I change.”

Elizabeth patted her hair and squared her shoulders. “You want me to baby-sit Mr. Hunka-Hunka-Burning-Love?”

Clestie kept a smile glued to her lips in case their guest was watching. “You’re such a dead woman.”

When she reached the top of the stairs she slipped into the apartment and ran for the bedroom. If she stayed, all Petunia’s beads and Sixties paraphernalia were getting boxed away, most to give to the local homeless shelter. She felt she’d been sucked into a Sixties sitcom.

All musky and smelly, she turned on the shower and stepped under the cool spray. She rubbed herself down with a loofah and melon body wash until she’d scoured away the sweat and grime. She washed the sweat from her hair, ran a razor down her legs,

24 Heavenly Hijinks

and winced at the burning sensation. “Serves me right for not using shaving gel.” As a dancer she always used gel to shave her best assets. She winced at the thought that razor rash would mar them.

She wondered if the dreamy man downstairs could hear the water running and if it turned him on to picture her naked, soaped up and pleasuring herself, imagining his hands in place of hers?

Her nipples beaded and her pussy quivered. “Youaresome kind of wacky. The guy’s probably an escapee from an insane asylum.”

But her traitorous body only cared about his glorious blond hair, dreamy bedroom eyes and leonine grace. Her lips only cared that his were soft and pliant, yet chiseled. That they quirked into ready, if slightly superior, smiles. Her pussy only cared that his cock matched the rest of his yummy muscles, big and strong and most of all, powerful. No, most of all, she cared howwell he wielded his big, rock-hard cock.

Moaning, she rubbed her nipples between her fingers. She slipped one finger, and then two, inside her aching pussy. She massaged her clit with her thumb, taking special care to pleasure it. Closing her eyes, she pretended Leo was making love to her, enjoying her sleek dancer’s body and sliding his soapy frame down her length.

The real deal waited downstairs—she hoped he’d not given up on her while she daydreamed about impossible things up here.

When she climbed out of the shower, she scolded herself. She knew nothing about the stranger except that he was very handsome and extremely sexy. She wrapped her hair in a big fluffy towel she had found in the linen closet, and prowled into the bedroom looking for an outfit. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Wanting to appear nonchalant, she went straight to the blue jeans in her suitcase. She put on a pair of deceptively simple wonders by Calvin. They fit perfectly, accentuating her curves and drawing appreciative gazes to her behind. She topped it off with a hot pink tank top rimmed with sequins.

She slid her feet into matching hot pink Manolo Blahnik sandals. Then she clasped a silver tennis bracelet around her ankle, painted cotton candy pink lip gloss across her lips and combed her wet hair.

Trying to loosen up, she took a deep breath, rolled her shoulders and shook her legs out. Not having been given time for a proper cooldown, she hoped she wouldn’t get a charley horse.

Feeling like a modern-day Grace Kelly, she started to float down the stairs. She imagined Leo waiting at the foot of the ornate staircase, gazing up at her raptly with adoration etched on his handsome face.

She trailed a regal hand along the railing and thrust her chest out and her shoulders back.

“We thought you’d drowned,” Elizabeth said dryly as she sat too close to Leo, sipping coffee.

25 Ashley Ladd

Clestie forced a light laugh. “I merely sluiced off the remnants of my workout.”

Leo rose and bowed and then he captured her hand in his and kissed it. “Ah, my lady, but your beauty rivals that of the fair Helen herself. Aphrodite would be jealous. Don’t worry on my account, your handmaiden saw to my every whim.”

Elizabeth’s eyes darkened with rage. She scooted back and glared at the Adonis. “Handmaiden? I’m her cousin and co-owner of the shop, not a servant.”

Clestie girded herself for nuclear fallout. A highly liberated, professional woman, her cousin didn’t take lightly to what she considered belittlement. She still flew Gloria Steinem’s flag higher than anyone else Clestie knew.

Not that Clestie didn’t believe in equality, but she wasn’t so militant. In the dance world, she had to put up with a certain amount of leering and catcalls. If she decked every sexist haggler that stepped out of line, her career would’ve stalled before it began.

Leo kept hold of her hand longer than necessary and gazed down into her eyes. “Tell me how I can be of assistance. Why you’re so happy I returned.”

If she could get past the awful outfit, he’d make a great bed ornament.

She bit her tongue. She hadnotjust thought such a blatantly sexist thought. Oh God, but she had! Mentally, she slapped her hand and promised to behave. She was never this way, but this man had a very naughty effect on her.

She licked her suddenly dry lips. “We want to offer you a job.” She crossed the room to where she’d stashed the pad of employment applications she’d bought the previous evening, along with a cache of other office supplies, since the shop had been woefully ill-stocked. She ripped off the top sheet and slid it across the table with an uncapped ballpoint pen. “Please fill this out.”

He gave it a blank stare and then lifted his gaze back to her. “What is it?” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She flicked her wrist. “Oh, just a necessary formality. It’s an employment application. Just follow the instructions.”

Leo sat down and squinted at it. Then he turned it over and perused the back side without a glimmer of comprehension in his eyes.

Elizabeth leaned forward and said kindly, “Did you forget your glasses?”

Leo nodded. “I didn’t know I’d be in need of them.”

Elizabeth underlined the blanks with her finger. “Name here.” She paused while he scribbled.

Then she proceeded to read each line, waiting until his pen stopped moving before she continued. When he finished, Elizabeth brought it to her with a frown. “It’s Greek,” she whispered with a note of awe.

“So he has sloppy writing. So do I.”

Her cousin stuck the paper under Clestie’s nose and shook it. “No!” she hissed. “It’s honest-to-god Greek.”

26 Heavenly Hijinks

Clestie just gaped. “Maybe he’s an illegal alien. We can’t hire him if he doesn’t have papers.”

Elizabeth rose and whispered in her ear. “He shouldn’t even be in here if he is.”

Clestie chewed on her lower lip. She dug her nails into her palms and curled her toes into her sandals.

Elizabeth’s hands gesticulated wildly in the air. “We’d be aiding and abetting a criminal. We could go to jail.”

They both turned and stared at the gorgeous man. To Clestie’s acute consternation, chemistry ignited when her gaze slid over the man’s blond perfection. Without volition, her hand patted her damp hair.

“Put your tongue back in your mouth,” Elizabeth drawled, making a winding motion with her finger.

Clestie twisted her lips at her cousin. “So what do we do?”

“Before we go borrowing trouble, see if he has papers. A driver’s license. Social security card.”

Clestie had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. With her run of bad luck, of course he wouldn’t have legal documents.

* * * * *

Leo’s ears perked up. Strange happenings were being reported by the little people trapped in the small black box sitting on the shop’s counter. Warily, he touched his fingertip to the hard, shiny casing. Its warmth startled him. Tiny lights shot out the back through several slits, almost like the light that emanated from Zeus’ fingers just before lightning shot out. And the sound seemed much too large in proportion to the tiny people who were caught inside. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Had Petunia ensnared the unfortunate people with black magic? If so, he was in awe of her powerful wizardry. He’d been led to the right place for help. Or had one of the gods shrunk the poor souls in a fit of pique and imprisoned them in the box?

Intrigued and yet conversely dread-filled by these contemporary mortal gadgets, he stepped closer. He’d not seen one up close until this Earthly visit. He’d not paid much attention to the silly mortal gadgets but now that he had a better look, he wasn’t sure he liked them. Could this be another Trojan Horse? Were warriors about to pop out of its belly?

“Clestie.” He marched over to her and curled his fingers around her upper arm. Tugging on her, doing his best to ignore the sizzle of acute sexual awareness that zinged up his arm, he dragged her over to the alarming black box with the shrunken people running across its front. “Look at this. You must prepare for eminent attack.”

Clestie tore away from him and rushed to the beast. “Attack? I don’t see an emergency broadcast warning on the television. Who’s attacking?” Her gaze wild, she turned up the sound and stared at the demonic container.

27 Ashley Ladd

He pointed at the evil-looking television. “Don’t you see the warriors hiding in there? Preparing to pop out?”

Clestie’s brows knitted together. “Why? Is the governor calling out the National Guard?”

She watched for a few moments more and shook her head. “They’re not talking about war or attack. Just some lunatics going around licking themselves in public and exhibiting outrageous behavior. Bizarre but nothing to worry about.” A snort escaped her mesmerizing lips.

He felt stupid, just like the Trojans, trusting in something that had looked so benign from afar. Frustrated that she didn’t believe that eminent danger lurked, Leo felt like the cursed Cassandra. Fear roiling through his veins, he grabbed the box off the counter. “We have to destroy this before they murder us all.” The bloody massacre at Troy still haunted him, fresh as if it had happened yesterday. He smashed the enemy vessel to the floor and immense relief flooded him. If only he’d been able to avert the tragedy at Troy so easily, he’d be more of a hero than that steal-all-the-glory half-brother of his, Hercules.

Shock and disbelief flashed across Clestie’s face. “Why’d you break the TV?” She wound her fingers through her hair.

When she knelt down close to the fire-breathing, hissing beast, he dragged her back behind him.

By Cronus! These poor people he saw inside the box Clestie called “television” were caught in the midst of the fire and he wouldn’t let it get her, too. If there were any remains, he’d build a funeral pyre and send their precious spirits to the Elysian Fields.

“Stay back, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster and save my beloved Leos.”

Clestie shook off his hand and put her hands on her hips. “What monster? What Leos?”

Her cheeks paler than a ghost’s, Elizabeth waved her cell phone in the air. “Should I call for help?” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie held her palm out flat and then looked back at him. “What in the devil are you talking about?”

Leo looked about for a weapon. He spied a broom and jogged across the room, grabbed it, and returned on swift foot. “Fear not, fair lady. The fire seems to have consumed the enemy.”

Clestie rubbed her forehead and tilted her head. “Whatenemy? What Leos?”

Leo jabbed at the beast’s mangled body and batted it across the floor away from the women. “We shall not fall for your vile tricks again.”

“Tricks? Again? Are you insane?” Clestie glared at him as if he was the vile enemy.

Amazement overcame him and he blinked at her. “Surely you know the sad story of the Trojan Horse? I can assure you, ‘tis real.” Many of his close friends and relatives had fought there. Alas, several had perished.

28 Heavenly Hijinks

Clestie’s head bobbed. “Oh, yes.” She held up a finger and winked. “Will you give us a moment alone?”

He bowed regally. “Of course. I will ensure no breath remains in the beast’s body.”

A wide grin spread across the woman’s comeliness but the glitter didn’t reach her eyes. “You do that, Leo.”

He swept the beast’s entrails onto the far side of the room, including a long black tail that hissed and sparked when pulled from the wall. He paused every few seconds to poke and prod to ensure no further trickery.

Clestie and Elizabeth returned. Clestie took the lead. “Here’s the deal. Aside from the fact you murdered our poor, innocent TV, think you’rethe Leo, write Greek and dress funny, we like you. We’d like to ask for a sample astrological reading before we hire you, however. Are you willing to show us what you can do?”

Leo stood and nodded sagely. He couldn’t wait to show herall he could do for her. “But of course. I would do the same in your circumstance, as you profess not to know of me and my talents.”

Relief flooded Clestie now that they had found someone qualified to do the readings. “Good. Let’s get started. What do you need to begin?”

Leo regarded her with great interest and finally said, “A subject. Let me read your chart.” He motioned to the table and held out a chair for her. “Please sit here with me and I will collect the necessary information.”

When Leo’s fingers accidentally brushed against her back, delicious shivers ran up her spine and she straightened jerkily to avoid another touch. She tilted her head. “Do you need a laptop?”

Leo stared down at his lap and frowned. “No, thank you. I already have a lap.”

Clestie tried to swallow her bubbling laughter. “I meant a portable computer.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“Computer?”

Oh yeah…he’d probably think it was another evil TV. She wasn’t allowing him near her precious laptop.

She folded her hands before her and dug her fingernails into her palms to remind herself not to unleash her sarcastic tongue. “Paper and pen? You will have to write down my responses and your answers, won’t you?”

Leo nodded. “Yes, please.”

She gestured to her cousin to fetch the necessary items and asked, “Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea…”Me ?

She kicked herself and plodded on. “Soda?”

“Water would be most welcome.”

She excused herself and brought back two Evian waters. Pen and paper were positioned at his side by the time she returned. After she set his bottle next to him, she

29 Ashley Ladd

twisted the cap off hers and took a dainty, refreshing sip, extremely aware of his intense gaze on her lips.

She folded herself into her chair and faced the enigmatic man. “Shoot. What do you need to know?”

He smiled reassuringly at her. “Birth date. Birth place. Time of birth.”

“Is that all?” This didn’t sound too painful or intrusive. “I was born November 21, 1975, in Cincinnati, Ohio at 9:30 a.m.”

“Ah, a Scorpio born on the cusp of Sagittarius. That explains much.”

Was that good or bad? “Can you truly read much about me with such a tiny amount of information?”

His smile widened as he scribbled on his paper. “Yes. This will reveal much.”

She rested her chin on her hands and gazed deeply into his tawny eyes. “So, tell me all about myself.”

He rocked back in his chair and laughed. “I need time to consult the stars before I can tell you more.”

“How much time?” If he was really a god, couldn’t he tell her with a snap of his fingers? Wouldn’t he have already known all this without her having to reveal anything about herself? Gods were omniscient, right?

“A few hours up to a couple days.”

She blinked.Days? Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“This is very precise, intensive work. You will want an accurate, in-depth analysis, no?”

“Of course.” She pursed her lips. She was not a patient person, and didn’t want to wait days. She wanted the analysisyesterday .

“So, you’ll return with your findings when you’ve finished?” She poured water down her clogged throat, hoping to wash away the frustration.

“Most definitely.”

Clestie rose and held out her hand in dismissal. When he rose beside her, she shook his hand as professionally as possible, trying to ignore the troublesome frisson of awareness tingling in her veins, and failing dismally. “I look forward to your analysis.”

“It will be my pleasure, dear lady.” Clutching the paper in his hands, he made his way to the door. “I shall return as soon as I have completed your reading.”

Clestie hoped that would be soon as she already missed his sunny presence. Conversely, she hoped he’d disappear and never return so that she would regain her equilibrium. She was having enough trouble figuring out her feelings about Richard. If nothing else, this time away from Richard and Miami was giving her time to mull over their relationship.

She started to unlock the door and then paused. Whether she hired Leo or not, she would owe him for the reading. “How much do you charge for a reading?”

30 Heavenly Hijinks

He frowned. “I do not know the going rate, but I would not think of charging you.” Then his features shifted and he seemed to regroup. “Rather, I would ask for your favor in return, for your help in returning me to my rightful place as soon as you find your powers.”

Not that again. How could she promise something she didn’t possess? “If I’m able. But as I told you, I have no magical, mystical powers…”

He winked and captured her hand. Dragging it to his lips, he kissed her hand with feathery, provocative softness. “Ah, but youdo and I will do my utmost to help you locate them.”

So far, all he’d helped her to find was a surprisingly heightened sexual awareness that was totally off-limits, and shame at such forbidden lust. Not trusting herself to say anything else lest she thoroughly embarrass herself, she opened the door and waved goodbye. She watched him strut down the road until he disappeared from view around a far corner.

“Whew!” How was she ever going to keep her mind on business with such a hottie in close proximity daily?

She’d forgotten Elizabeth’s presence until her cousin asked, “I wonder if he screws as pretty as he walks?”

31 Ashley Ladd

Chapter Five Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo returned to Karly’s place and poured over the star charts, struggling to convert the calendar from his comfortable Athenian calendar to the Julian calendar with which modern-day mortals would be familiar. He checked, double-checked and simplified Clestie’s analysis so that she would understand.

He was very pleased to find some Leo in her chart, even if it was in her moon and not in her sun. It explained much about her blatant sexuality, her extreme beauty and pride.

With great interest he read that the parting of ways with partners and friends seemed most likely during this time. Unusual people or opportunities would enter her life. Ambitions, success, change in circumstances, travels, stimulating experiences, emotional awareness and clairvoyant experiences were all to be part of this time. An important man would enter her life, or a romantic encounter could develop. Requests for help from someone in distress would occur and she would find the compassion to help.

“Good, good.” The stars were talking, revealing his presence. He was the one in distress requiring her help. Despite her contrary assertions thus far, it seemed she was destined to lend him assistance.

She had a most important period that began the twenty-second of July of this year and would continue through the second of December. Certain dates and periods stood out very strongly during this astrological configuration. The third and sixth of September were two particularly important dates.

The end of the period would also be significant, as it would be at this time that she should put her plans and actions firmly in place and start to feel the positive impacts of the period.

This interlude would be intense and beneficial, allowing her to really take off and make great strides. He chuckled.But of course . She was taking over her aunt’s business and she was about to find her very special inner power.

It would mark a moment of victory for her on a professional level. He could have told her this without aid of the stars, but it was excellent confirmation as he sensed she did not believe taking over the shop would be a prudent move. This project would greatly evolve despite her grievous misgivings.

This powerful time would allow her to reach a turning point in her career on many different levels, and it was extremely important that she be fully active and ready for changes. He could see that this all had a lot to do with new cultures, and that she should be ready to adapt herself to another way of life.

32 Heavenly Hijinks

Again, he could have told her this without aid of the stars. Surely he represented the different culture and heralded her awakening to a new life, one her aunt had set into motion by willing her half of the magic shop.

Thoughtfully, he rubbed his chin. Clestie was already encountering these concerns, doubting her abilities, fighting against her role as shop proprietor and her role in helping him return to his rightful place. If only Zeus wasn’t so hardhearted, Leo wouldn’t need Clestie’s help. But then he wouldn’t have met her, and he was beginning to think that fate had preordained their meeting.

He shook his head to clear his mind of personal thoughts. This reading was about Clestie. He forced his concentration back to the job at hand.

A very important encounter would be vital to begin the evolution between the thirtieth of July and twelfth Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

of September, and she should be ready to seize any opportunity that came her way. Her planets would guide her in the right direction.

He frowned. There seemed to have been a single element which prevented her from entering into the higher spheres of power before, and he could see that she had been relegated to the ranks of the forgotten for some time, but here was a chance for her to show her worth.

He took this to mean an inattentive or undeserving man in her life. Or perhaps one who tried to hold her under his thumb. He didn’t like the sound of this and wanted more information.

She had been living under a very unfavorable aspect, but this was all set to change after this period. The planets were preparing to smile upon her.

“Ah, good. Very good.” A smile curved his lips. The connection he felt with Clestie grew deeper as he learned more about her.

Confused and exhausted, Leo needed to sleep on this wealth of information so he could provide as much guidance as possible to Clestie. So he placed the reading on the nightstand and rolled over. He hoped to awake with a clearer vision of what the reading meant.

* * * * *

“Thank you.” Clestie accepted her astrological analysis from Leo with fascinated dread. She had to read it to see if it appeared genuine. Of course, not being familiar with these things, she wasn’t really a good judge. She’d have to take it to another reader and ask their opinion.

“I went over this very carefully and I am sure this is correct. I hope the old man who did the translation to your language was as diligent and talented as he claimed. It contains directions—and some warnings that would be most beneficial for you to be aware of.”

“Warnings?” She didn’t like the sound of that one little bit. The thick sheaf of papers crinkled in her hand as she clutched them tighter. “What warnings?”

33 Ashley Ladd

He pointed to the reading. “They are all in there. Read it carefully and then I will be happy to provide clarification. However, much of it will be a great deal clearer to you and your circumstances than it could be to me. I do not know all the nuances in your life. You are your own expert.”

Perplexed, she stared down at the reading. “But I thought this was a complete analysis. That you could see all.”

An amused smile lit Leo’s face. “Not at all. I can only see and interpret to a certain degree. Only you can apply the guidance to your life. Only you can make the decision which direction to take. I am merely your guide and counsel if you so wish.”

What kind of psychic double-talk was this?

“Okay, this will take some time to read. Check back with me tomorrow about this time and I’ll give you an answer.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo shook her hand and let himself out. He stood in the crook of the open door, sunshine dancing upon his glorious mane. “I look forward to your answer. I hope it will be favorable for both of us.”

She waved the sheaf in the air. “I’m sure it will be. This is just a formality.”

He bowed regally. “Until tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow.” God, but she couldn’t wait until tomorrow.Brazen hussy…

She filled a glass full of ice and poured a diet cola, grabbed a bowl full of grapes and strawberries and took the booty to the privacy of her bedroom. She curled up under her covers, pulling them off her feet so that the soft breeze from the ceiling fan would cool them. Then she hunkered down to her reading.

First, she was curious to see if the character analysis was on target or if it was generic dribble like fortune cookie sayings that could apply to just about anyone.

She looked down and began to read the chart with great interest.

You will find that the interpretation of your chart is written in simple language,uncluttered by astrological jargon .If a statement appears to contradict another statement ,then you exhibit these opposite qualities at different times in your life .For example ,a statement that you are highly sociable and gregarious and a statement that you prefer solitude seemingly contradict each other , but this means that you vacillate ,and need both sociability and solitude at different times .

Clestie shook her head to clear it and bit back a smile. These formal, astute words had come out of that charming man’s head? He looked to be more interested in his glorious blond mane than his brain. Obviously, she’d not given him enough credit.

Cautious,prudent and rather self-contained ,you are a person who approaches life realistically and who is not inclined to take foolish chances or get carried away by the overly optimistic or idealistic schemes of starry-eyed dreamers .In fact ,you frequently have a jaundiced

34 Heavenly Hijinks

view of such things.You are rather worldly-wise at a fairly young age ,even something of a cynic .

She chuckled. Maybe this wasn’tall fiction, as she had presumed. Or maybe he’d gotten lucky or had better perception than she’d given him credit for.

She found her place and started reading again.

Often the world doesn’t seem like a safe,friendly place to you ,and you tend to approach life in a guarded ,conservative manner .You are generally calculating and careful ,and are rarely spontaneous ,fluid ,open or childlike .You are pragmatic ,shrewd and an excellent strategist , carefully planning your moves for maximum effectiveness and advantage .You are willing to work long and persistently for what you want and you often do things the hard way .To others you seem mature ,serious ,quiet ,reflective and emotionally detached .You dislike sloppy sentimentality and won ’t openly display your feelings,especially the softer ones .You like to always appear poised and in control and hate to show any weakness or vulnerability .

You respect tradition and the time-honored way of doing things,and you feel there is much to be Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

gained from studying history and also by learning from older ,more experienced people .A wise mentor or father is often your guide in life ,and you in turn develop a great deal of hard-earned wisdom which you like to impart to younger people .

You have a stern,authoritarian ,no-nonsense aspect to your personality .You expect much from yourself and may not give yourself enough room to experiment and make mistakes .

You also have a powerful need for deep emotional involvement and you form very intense love bonds and attachments.When you commit yourself to someone or something ,you are wholeheartedly devoted and expect complete loyalty in return .You merge with or “marry”the person you love at a very deep level and therefore separations are extremely painful for you ,and often stormy and nasty .

Clestie winced at the reference to stormy and nasty breakups. She hated that and had worked very hard to overcome that part of her personality. She’d thought she’d done quite well in turning the other cheek, of being more mature. She hated that Leo saw this aspect in her personality, however deeply buried. She vowed to bury it forever and never let it be resurrected. She popped a grape in her mouth and read on.

Whatever you do,you do with passion and fervor ,and you often go to extremes .You are hot or cold ,never lukewarm about anything .You have a fanatical streak .You are also immensely strong-willed and your tenacity in pursuing your objectives often borders on being obsessive . Fierce pride ,courage and emotional strength are yours in abundance .

Clestie scowled again and shook her head. Dancing, or anything worthwhile, necessitated total focus, drive and ambition. One hundred and ten percent was called

35 Ashley Ladd

for or she might as well give up before even starting. That was only common sense, not just a Scorpio’s domain.

This was becoming increasingly difficult to read, mainly to due with the fact that it was surprisingly and shockingly true. She pushed her reading glasses further back on her nose and tried to refocus on the words.

You love mysteries and are deeply attracted to the hidden,dark ,secret side of life .You never take things at face value and are always probing beneath the surface of people and situations to discover what is really going on .You tend to be more of a cynic than an idealist .

You are warm-hearted,kind ,generous and very popular ,especially with the opposite sex .Your happy feelings rub off on others and everyone enjoys being with you .Due to a protective and encouraging upbringing ,your relations with your parents are good .

Clestie tried to sniff away tears. Her relationship had been wonderful with her family for the short time she’d been blessed with them—even with her conservative father. Her mother had died young and her father only a few years later. Now even her beloved aunt. Only Elizabeth and Richard remained.

Clestie blinked. Her moon was in Leo. Ah, so she wasn’t a full Scorpio.

You are likely to be known for your drive,energy ,ambition and competitive spirit .A successful career based on your ability to take initiative ,be a leader or excel in physical strength and Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

prowess is likely .You most definitely want to be a winner and will work hard to achieve that .

You have many artistic talents as well as the ability and creative energy to express them.You also are quite passionate and enjoy physical activity .

Wow! So dead-on. She couldn’t wait to return to her dancing and get her career back on track. It was so intense as to be almost a physical hurt.

Patience is your ally.

A growl rose in her throat. Patience hadnever been her ally. She wasn’t a patient person. Every day she couldn’t dance, she chafed unbearably.

Reading on, she popped a strawberry into her mouth, delighted when its sweet juice squirted into her throat.

Whatever your choice of profession,you are apt to pursue it with great zeal and intensity .

So true.

36 Heavenly Hijinks

You are capable of hard work and persistent labor,but you may lack joyfulness and the ability to play .You often feel burdened by life ’s demands and responsibilities,and may envy those who seem to attract what they want in life without a great deal of personal effort .You may be rather confused about your place in the world .

Just like she’d felt overburdened and confused when Petunia’s will had revealed her inheritance, herduty .

She reread her chart three times and pondered it. She dreamed about it that night.

When Leo walked into her shop the following afternoon, she greeted him with a welcoming smile. “We’d like for you to come work for us.”

Elizabeth stepped forward and pointed at Clestie’s reading. “I thought you didn’t know English?”

Leo said matter-of-factly, “I had it translated.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Did you find your driver’s license, social security card, green card? If not, I have a friend who can help with that.”

He smiled and nodded. “Yes. My sister Aphrodite provided those. But should our father Zeus find out, we shall be dodging lightning bolts.”

“Aphrodite? Zeus?” Clestie and Elizabeth exchanged worried glances.

“I told you I would explain. I feel now is the time.” He motioned to the table and pulled out a chair and held it for Clestie.

Oh brother! “I’m all ears.” Clestie took a seat and folded her hands atop the table. Intrigue mixed with a Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

good dose of trepidation bubbled up in her. “Zeusas in the head god, right?”

Leo nodded, completely sober, without a hint of mischief lurking in his brilliant golden eyes. “My father. He overthrew his sire Cronus to take charge.”

Clestie’s eyes widened. “So that makes you a god?”

Leo snorted. “Not precisely. I’ve known death.”

Clestie’s gaze raked over him. “You don’t look like a ghost.”Not in the least .

“I was immortalized after Hercules murdered me.”

“Just why are you here?” Clestie held her arms wide. “You said only Petunia or I can help you. But how? If you’re a god, can’t you just blink your eyes or wave your hands or think yourself wherever you want?”

He reached across the table and captured her hand in his. He stroked the back of her hand and held her gaze fast. “It’s not that easy. I might be what you’d consider a demi-god—a half-god. But I don’t possess the full range of godly powers—and Zeus has stripped me of those I did possess. You have innate power—magic—flowing

37 Ashley Ladd

through your blood. You have the kind of magic that can transport me back to the stars, to my rightful place in the heavens.”

Clestie tried to recall if even Samantha inBewitchedhad put a constellation in the night sky. “For the sake of argument, let’s pretend I do possess such powers—”

His thumb moved hypnotically over her knuckles. “You do.”

She ran the tip of her tongue over her suddenly dry lips and cleared a lump in her throat. “Uh, if I do, I have no idea how to use them. Petunia’s gone and we don’t know anyone else who knows magic.”

Elizabeth tapped her chin and looked heavenward. Then dawning lit her eyes. “Surely we can find help on the web.”

Clestie shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t trust the internet.”

After a few seconds, Elizabeth said, “You need to move into the twenty-first century, cuz. In the meantime, why don’t you look in the phone book?”

Clestie nodded as desperation coiled in her stomach.

Elizabeth’s cell phone rang. She pulled it off her waistband and peered at the caller ID. “I need to take this in the other room.” She jabbed a finger at Leo. “Behave. The police station’s on speed dial and I know tae kwon do.”

Leo spread his hand over his heart. “On my honor, dear lady, I would never do anything to cause harm.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“I’ll have my eye on you.”

“You are a loyal friend.”

Clestie liked the rich timbre of Leo’s voice even more than the quiet but powerful ripple of his muscles—if that was possible. She found herself getting lost in it, could easily let it lull her into a dangerous complacency…

She shook herself.Stop it ! She reclaimed her seat and tried to focus on his eyes. As his almost-employer, she had no business ogling his awesome pecs, or firm, sensual lips, or those large, powerful hands… Just the eyes. They were safe.

Safe?

With their thick, sooty lashes and their dreamy sensual depths, they were anything but safe. So she lowered her gaze to his nose. What could be dangerous about a nose?

Nothing—if it was a normal, ordinary nose. But his was a long, perfect, aristocratic nose. It crinkled ever so slightly in amusement.

Dang! Was no part of the man safe to look at?

Focus,focus ,focus , she ordered silently. She steepled her fingers on the table. Reminding herself she was a business owner—his potential employer—she forced a professional tone to her voice. “So tell me your story. Start at the beginning.”

38 Heavenly Hijinks

“Zeus had his eye on my mother, Selena, a comely mortal. They had my three older sisters and then me. Then she fell madly in love with Endymion and gave birth to his daughters—all fifty of them—while he lay in a deep slumber.”

Although she hadn’t meant for him to impart his genealogy, she was fascinated nonetheless. Not that he could possibly be telling the truth.

“…then Hercules, my half-brother, murdered me and split my beautiful pelt with my own claws.” He held his clenched fist to his face and gazed woefully at his nails.

“How horrible. I’d always thought of Hercules as a hero.” Her fingers itched to sign on to the internet and look up this story. She’d only learned a bit of mythology in school. She preferred tangible things that she could see, touch and control, like her dancing.Shecould work out.She could practice.She could study.She could diet.

She barely acknowledged that she was a Scorpio beyond finding it mildly amusing that she was supposed to be the bitchy hard-ass of the zodiac, the sultry sex goddess.

Well, she was sexy when she danced. And Scorpios were creative.

Under Leo’s intense gaze she felt ultra-sexy, like a goddess, and she wasn’t even dancing. She shook herself. His insanity was obviously catching. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She made up her mind and cleared her throat. “If we hire you, will you promise not to attack any more defenseless TVs?”

Frowning, Leo leaned forward and the sway of his silky hair brushed his lean cheek. “Please explain, what is this TV? I’ve only seen them from afar.”

Clestie stared at him long and hard, seeking a trace of mirth or something to tell her he was joking. But she saw no snippet of guile in his clear tawny eyes. “TV is short for television.”

God help her, she couldn’t believe she was doing this. Didn’t everyone know about TV? “It’s an electronic device that transmits signals—pictures—from one central place like a studio, to a lot of other places.”

At a loss and feeling especially inarticulate, she splayed her hands wide. Okay, she needed the internet to look up an explanation. But she was scared he’d hack up her laptop as well. Then she’d have to kill him.

Okay, that wouldn’t work. She would keep her laptop hidden. The baby had cost almost two grand and had all the newest bells and whistles.

“There’s no chance someone willpop out .”

Clestie passed a hand over her hair and stole a glance at their gorgeous new employee.His sensual voice .His dreamy eyes .His sexy smile .

Elizabeth lowered her lashes and snuck another peek at Mr. Universe. “Petuniaknew what she was doing.”

Clestie’s nerves jumped. “Let’s hopehe does, too.” She looked at their new associate and about swallowed her tongue. He was licking his hand and then brushing it over his

39 Ashley Ladd

hair. “Maybe this isn’t such a grand idea.” The sensual sweep of his long pink tongue sent serious heat coursing through her pussy and she shivered. “Bizarre.”Erotic…

“Turn up the air conditioning, honey.” Elizabeth fanned herself. “Whew! I hope there’s lots of cold water for the shower.”

A sensual, primitive beat seeped through the walls from the tae kwon do studio next door. The exotic sound was a perfect rhythm for a little mattress mambo, and Leo’s well-honed body looked made for lots of mattress mambo.

Clestie girded herself and ventured back to the lion’s den. She deliberately smacked her sandals on the floor to give warning of her approach. Then she sat down across from him as if everything was normal and picked up the application. “When can you start?”

“Right away. The sooner I can get home, the better.”

Home? She leaned forward and frowned. “Why do you want a job here if you’re anxious to leave?” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

He took her hand in his and covered it with his other one. “Dear lady, I needyour help and I’m willing to reciprocate. I will teach you the art of reading the zodiac.”

She wanted to throw up her hands in exasperation. She pointed at the next area of concern on his application. “Where do you live?” The address section lay starkly blank.

He shifted in his seat and averted his gaze. Finally he said, “I don’t have anywhere to stay. I’ve been sleeping by the shore since my arrival a few weeks ago, except for the last two nights when I was offered a warm bed.”

“So you’re homeless?” She perused him again. He didn’t look underfed or ravaged by the elements, even if he wasn’t exactly a fashion statement. Just the opposite, he looked shiny and polished, and he glowed as if he’d been waited on hand and foot all his life.

There was absolutely no way she could let him sleep on the beach or under the I-95 overpass. “We have an extra room in the apartment upstairs. You can stay here until you earn enough to afford your own place.”

Across the room, a glass jar shattered with a ferocity that made Clestie jump and clutch her throat. To her horror, some unnamed animal’s innards spewed onto the floor in a sticky greenish puddle.

Elizabeth glared at her. “Sorry. I’ll clean it up.” She mouthed, “Are you nuts?”

Maybe.

She turned her attention back to the golden vision before her and tried not to make eyes at him. It took every ounce of her poise to appear aloof and professional.

She scraped her chair back and rose to her feet. “I’ll take you to your room. We’ll air it out before you move in.” As she led him up the curvy staircase, she was intensely aware of how closely he followed behind her.

When she showed him into the small room Petunia used to put her in when she visited, she gulped at the thought of him on her old bed, wrapping himself up in her

40 Heavenly Hijinks

old sheets. It looked too frilly, too pink, to house all his scrumptious masculinity. She inventoried the room quickly, vowing to replace the unicorn lamp, the bed ruffles and the festooned bottles of flowery-scented perfume her aunt had stashed on top of the fairy-stenciled dressers. She murmured apologetically, “I’ll get more appropriate bedding tomorrow.” She’d also look into the cost of hiring a painter to cover the magenta walls with a nice, soothing white.

An amused smile curved his lips as he gazed at the lacy bedspread. “That would be most appreciated, but please do not put yourself out on my behalf.”

“It’ll be my pleasure.” And she truly meant it. All her latent homemaking instincts clamored to pamper this man. Funny, she’d always been perfectly content to let Richard fend for himself and had never felt the desire to tidy his apartment or make home-cooked meals for him.

She pushed the unwelcome thought aside. She didn’t want to think about Richard, didn’t like feeling Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

guilty about him when she wasn’t even engaged. Was it her fault he’d been dragging his heels in the proposal area? The longer he delayed, the less sure she was that she wanted him to propose.

But it wasn’t like Leo was husband material. Richard was a doctor and he came from good, solid stock. And he was well acquainted with Armani, Prada and Gucci. Speaking of clothes, she couldn’t very well let her new employee work in his loincloth. And no one would take him seriously in his horrible plaid outfit.

“Uh, do you have any other clothes you can wear for work?” She didn’t hold out much hope, since she doubted he kept a wardrobe stashed under the breakers at the beach.

He held out the tail of his tartan shirt. “This isn’t a proper outfit?”

She bit her tongue to hold back a laugh and shook her head. “Not precisely career apparel.” Not that a psychic or astrologer would work in an Armani. She envisioned her aunt in her free-flowing dresses with fresh flowers in her hair. Daisies had been her favorite. But did her competition dress so retro?

“What do you usually wear to work?”

“When I minister to my charges?” A wicked grin spread across his to-die-for face. “My loincloth…sometimes.”

She about choked on her tongue and started to cough. Her eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Idiot that she was, she’d had to ask…

“Okay, it’s shopping time.” Her favorite time. Well, next to dancing. “Time to outfit you.”

A flush crept into Leo’s cheeks. “I don’t have any silver or gold with which to pay.”

With a smile she waved off his reticence. “Don’t worry. I have plenty of plastic.”

He turned and gazed at her beneath his drawn brows. “Plastic?”

He really was a babe in the woods. She waved an example before his face. “Credit cards.”

41 Ashley Ladd

His muscles tensed and he stood straight and tall. Proudly he thrust out his chin. “I appreciate your generous hospitality, but I cannot accept so much charity.”

Oh no, had she bruised his male ego? She was tired of tiptoeing around Richard—she didn’t want to have to tiptoe around another overly sensitive man. “Employers often provide their staff with uniforms. It’s one of the perks. If you need anything else, consider it an advance on your wages.”

His expression cleared and he nodded. “Very well. Thank you.”

She inclined her head. “Come on.”

42 Heavenly Hijinks

Chapter Six Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie slung her purse over her shoulder, freshened her lipstick, fluffed her hair and squared her shoulders. She likely needed an entire bottle of Prozac before facing the Galleria Mall on the weekend.

Thinking about the crowded mall, she sucked in several deep breaths as she did before a performance. She rejoined Leo. “Are you ready?”

She stifled a chuckle at the nerdy outfit. He looked as if he should be wearing a matching beanie complete with a propeller. “Follow me.”

“To the ends of the Earth.” Leo bowed slightly.

His warm voice vibrated down her spine and tingles started in her toes and worked their way up her legs to her pussy. His voice filled her with impossible, forbidden longings.

Passionate longings.

Well, she was a passionate Scorpio, as he kept reminding her with every heated glance, every sensual smile. Unable to stop herself, she swept the tip of her tongue over her lips, tasting the waxiness of her lipstick.

“Do you have a favorite store? Brand?” Her gaze drifted to his groin. “What size are you?”

Probably an extra large…

“Size?” Leo looked down at himself. “Brand?”

She did her best to control her naughty thoughts and tamp down her escalating estrogen. “Size thirty waist?”And hubba -hubba shoulders.

She ticked off Richard’s favorite designers on her fingers. “Armani? Klein? Gucci?”

“Cassandra makes my robes. When I wear clothes.”

Gulp. The earth quaked under her feet. “You live in a nudist colony?”

“My fur keeps me warm.”

“Oh yeah,” she murmured.

She clicked her SUV’s keyless entry unlocking the doors. Leo’s image slid across the glossy shine of her vehicle as he moved quickly to open her door.

Quickly, she stepped away, afraid of blazing into a raging inferno. She tripped and pushed her door wide into the street. An oncoming truck blasted his horn and veered sharply as Leo grabbed her to his chest.

“’Tis dangerous on your paths. They’re much traveled.”

43 Ashley Ladd Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Her heart thumped so hard it was deafening to her ears. She tried to shake off her annoying ultra-awareness of him but ended up sighing against his warm chest. “Just wait ‘til you see the mall.”

As she slid into the driver’s seat, she caught a glimpse into the neighboring tae kwon do studio, and froze. The tae kwon do master was almost as beautiful and graceful as Leo, but whereas her lion possessed a golden beauty, the instructor had swarthy good looks. He catapulted into the air, flipped twice and made a perfect landing. Then he cartwheeled across the mat, putting her dancing to shame. She might have to invest in some martial arts sessions.

Leo’s gaze followed hers and he frowned. He pulled his door closed with extra emphasis. “A friend of yours?”

Turning away from the shop, Clestie shook her head as she turned the ignition and the engine purred to life. “We’ve not met. I was just admiring the way he moves.”

Leo’s frown deepened and his forehead creased. His eyes lost their glow as they narrowed. When his nostrils flared, she could almost smell the animal muskiness of him.

“I’m a dancer. I’m a sucker for well-honed bodies that know how to move.”

Leo’s expression softened and he relaxed back against his seat. His breathing slowed and he flipped his hair behind his shoulders.

Beams of sunlight bounced off that glorious hair like spun gold. Clestie just wanted to wrap herself up in its decadent silkiness and lose herself.

Yikes! She gave herself a mental slap.

She tore her glance from Leo and checked oncoming traffic. As she eased into a gap left by a metro bus slowing to pick up a passenger, she mumbled, “Besides, my boyfriend might get jealous if I ogled another man.”

Like she hadn’t almost devoured Leo several times over, imagined hot sex with him and had his scent engraved onto her pheromones?

Infatuation. It was just a minor case of short-lived, non-lethal infatuation. As long as Richard didn’t get wind of it…

Like he wouldn’t with Leo under the same roof, in the room next door?

She felt rather than heard a growl rip from Leo’s lips. When she could safely take her gaze off the heavy traffic for a second, she snuck a glance at her passenger and recoiled. He looked ready to pounce.

“You’re spoken for?” His voice was much more refined than his glare.

Or was she only imagining his glare?

She put a brake on her thoughts and her foot twitched and slammed on the SUV’s brakes with a screech. Whining, screaming brakes shrilled behind her and then several horns blared, she looked in her rearview mirror, a dark-haired man waved a fist at her. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

44 Heavenly Hijinks

She mouthed, “Sorry,” and resumed a normal speed. Once she had caught her breath and her heart was functioning again, she ventured, “We’re not officially engaged, if that’s what you mean, but he’s hinted he’s going to ask me to marry him.”

Leo’s steady stare bored into her. “You don’t sound very happy. Is it an arranged betrothal?”

“No. No. I l-love Richard.” But was she in love with him? All-out giddy, rock-your-world, crazy in love?

Had sheeverbeen in love with Richard?

If she was, then why did every ounce of her flesh long to linger against Leo’s? Why did the oxygen in the car feel so depleted just because he was sharing it? And why did her cells feel like imploding every time he touched her?

She didn’t want to dwell on it. So he was amazing-looking—okay, he had the best body she’d ever seen, and coupled with that hair?Whew !

Her temperature catapulted one hundred percent. She cranked up the AC and turned the vent toward her face. Now she just needed chill air to blow on the rest of her superheated body.

Even though it was less than a twenty-minute ride to the Galleria, it felt as if she was trapped inside the vehicle with him for at least two hours.

She pinned her armor in place and climbed out of the SUV. Leo was immediately at her side, closing her door and being attentive, so that she couldn’t get her equilibrium. She had never been so aware of any man, of her own femininity, and it took every iota of her strength not to lean into the man and lift her lips for his kiss.

Crazy…

“What’s crazy?”

Her eyes flew wide open. She’d voiced that?Eek ! “Uh, th-the crowds are always crazy here. See? Even the parking garage is a zoo.”

She’d have to padlock her tongue!

In her super-shopper mode, she headed to her favorite department store, passing by other beloved stores even though sales signs almost blinded her.

She ran her fingers lightly over the men’s clothes that were a tactile delight of cotton blends, denim and polyesters. She selected several pieces in what she guessed to be his size and held them against him.

“My, you have slim hips.”And broad shoulders .

Leo’s gaze flickered appreciatively across her hips. “Your hips are wide and beautiful, perfect to bear a pride.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She blinked. “What?” She bristled as she hid hergargantuan hips behind the clothing rack.

Immediate chagrin crossed Leo’s eyes and he held out a hand to her. “I didn’t mean any offense. You’re perfect.”

45 Ashley Ladd

Perfect? Sunlight glowed in her soul.

No one had ever called her perfect before. Only Aunt Petunia. But doting great-aunts didn’t count. Richard was normally super-critical. When they’d started dating, she’d put it down to necessary perfectionism of being a surgeon. She wasn’t so sure any more.

She laughed lightly. “Leo, you are a real charmer.”

Leo captured her hand and kissed it, letting his lips linger on her knuckles. Against her flesh, he murmured, “I don’t flatter casually. I am most sincere.”

She almost melted. She longed to lean into him, soak up his sexiness and ravage his lips. The edges of reality faded and everything except Leo became a blur. Conversely, he shimmered brightly, as if he was the only star in her universe.

“Can I help you?” an unwelcome voice broke through her rapture.

Leo released her hand and stood tall. He flicked his hair behind his shoulders and held up a stack of clothing. “I’d like to see if these fit.”

Clestie shivered from the chill of losing Leo’s warmth. A hiss rose in her throat and she felt like pouncing on the young woman who dared tear Leo away from her. She wanted to rip the other woman to shreds.

Shreds?

Clestie shook her head and fisted her hands at her side. Oh god, was this the legendary Scorpio jealousy rearing its ugly head? But she felt primitive, animalistic sensations—like a lioness.

“Get a grip, girlfriend,” she hissed at herself.

Minutes later, Leo wandered out of the dressing room in hip-hugging blue jeans that wouldn’t button. He tugged at the gaping sides. “Can you help me?”

Clestie gulped and her panties became damp. “Help you?” God help her! She wanted to help him out of those duds.

“Help me button them.” Mirth and challenge gleamed in his eyes.

“Uh, those are too tight. Take them off and I’ll find a larger size.”

About to hyperventilate, she pivoted quickly on her squeaky soles. It didn’t pay to be a Good Samaritan.

She jumped and almost screamed when his hand dropped on her shoulder. It was all she could do to Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

turn around casually.

“Clestie, are you okay?”

“Perfectly fine. Never better.”

A group of women started to gather around them. They ogled Leo, their hot, hungry gazes glued to the gaping fly of his jeans.

The teasing glimpse of his white underwear peeking out, the trail of golden hair disappearing into the waistband… Jealousy blazed down her veins and her tailbone twitched. Her ears flattened against her skull. She stepped in front of Leo, turned him

46 Heavenly Hijinks

and marched him back to the dressing room. “Can I go in with him?” Without waiting for the open-mouthed salesgirl’s reply, she said, “Good!” Clestie dragged Leo into the small cubicle and locked the door behind them.

Swallowing hard, she turned her back to him and closed her eyes. “Go ahead and change. Let me know when you’re decent.”

Hangers clicked and the whoosh of sliding material sounded through the cubicle. The heavy denim material grazed her hand and she longed to sneak a peek. But she clung to her pride and squeezed her eyes shut even tighter.

“Okay, I’m decent. You can look,” Leo practically purred.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she opened her eyes—and froze. A very naked, verylargeLeo stood beside her in the mirror. Her gaze devoured his beautiful and impressive cock thrusting out through the glorious waves of his golden hair.

“Oh god.” She covered her eyes with her hands. “I thought you said you were decent.”

His large, warm paws turned her slowly and deliberately around. He slid a finger beneath her chin and said, “Look at me, Clestie. Am I not to your liking? Be truthful.”

Without opening her eyes, she managed to strangle out through very parched lips, “Y-yes. Y-you’re very beautiful. But this isn’t r-right.”

Then why did it feel so incredible? So tempting? So naughtily decadent?

“What if they have security cameras videotaping all this?” What if they weren’t the only ones in the dressing rooms?

“What if?” Leo dragged her roughly against his length, crushing her lips beneath his. He ground against her stomach and then lifted her off the ground so that his cock nestled against her pussy.

She parted her lips and drank deeply of his ambrosia, losing herself in him. When he plundered her lips, she moaned deeply. When he set her back on her feet, she groaned in protest of losing his heat. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“Helen and Aphrodite would be jealous of your exquisite beauty.”

“You’re the beautiful one,” she murmured, tingling all over.

“We’re a match.”

She recalled a bit of her astrology. “But Leos and Scorpios aren’t a match made in heaven.” Richard, a Cancer, was supposed to be her perfect match.

Leo grimaced and lowered his head to lick her cleavage with a long, sensual sweep of his tongue. “Believe me, those that rule the heavens aren’t always right. Leos and Scorpios both possess great passion and zest for life. I sense great passion in you.”

For the first time in her life, so did she. For this man.

He buried himself deeper in the valley of her breasts, dipping his tongue under the rim of her tank top.

47 Ashley Ladd

She clung to him lest her knees buckle. She reveled in the soft tickling caress of his silky cascading hair. Flinging her head back, she gave him free access to her breasts as he shoved aside the suffocating material and suckled a beaded nipple.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” she said halfheartedly as she pushed herself deeper into his mouth. “Here,” she added. “We’ll be the store detective’s porno flick.” But the thought of having an illicit audience only fueled her ardor and she squirmed. Richard would never dream of indulging in so much as a kiss in public.

Leo murmured against her breast, his breath hot and sultry. “Then where?” His hand slid under the edge of her pants and he cupped her pussy. The pad of his thumb circled her clit. He delved two long, talented fingers inside and explored her most private cave.

He released her nipple and plundered her lips. Against them, he murmured, “’Tis too late to stop this tide—for either of us.”

She nodded and squirmed against his hand. She shoved at her own pants, no longer caring about anything, except knowing this man completely. She yearned to possess and be possessed, to learn every secret of his flesh, heart and soul.

“Here is good,” she whispered.Anywhere was heavenly.

He backed her against the wall and plunged his cock into her pussy.

The flimsy wall shook with the force of his strokes. He pounded into her and caught her moans in his mouth.

It was all she could do not to scream out her rapture. She clutched at his back, clawed his flesh and wound his glorious hair around her. Her temperature skyrocketed as she met him thrust for exquisite thrust.

Loud knocking broke into her reverie. “Are you okay in there? We’re going to use the key and come Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

in.”

“No!” Leo growled and slammed his hand against the door. “Give us a minute.”

Mortified, Clestie tried to tear herself away, but he held her tight as his release flooded into her and ran down her legs. She hissed, “Let me go.”

“Not until you’ve had your pleasure,” he murmured against the pulsing vein in her neck and as he ground his cock deeper into her pussy.

Oh, but she had! Moans escaped her lips as his heavenly gyrations set her on fire. She was so close that she quivered uncontrollably. Her heart pounded heavily against her ribs and she couldn’t catch her breath. Needing him more than she’d ever needed any man, she impaled herself on his luscious cock until the earth quaked beneath her feet.

“Your beauty takes my breath away.” Reverently, he swept her wild and damp hair away from her face. “The goddesses are surely jealous.”

She’d never felt so precious, so special, or so giddy. Ecstatic, she writhed against him and flung back her head. Pressing her lips to his throat, she murmured with a smile, “You’re a strange man, Leo the Lion.”Strange but wonderful .

48 Heavenly Hijinks

Renewed pounding on the door startled her. Fear surged through her heart. She was about to be a new business owneranda jailbird. She tried to pull away. “We’re out of time. We have to go.”

He savored her lips and then murmured against them, “We’re not finished.”

Thrilled and yet apprehensive, she trembled and pulled away this time.

He grazed his knuckles along her cheek. “I mean it.”

She hopped around as she tugged up her slacks. “Oh god. I can’t believe we did that.”

Leo leaned against the pounding door and tugged up his pants before leisurely buttoned his shirt. “Believe me, we’re not the first to use these premises such.”

Eh. He was probably right. She giggled and then laughed outright.

“Come out now or we’re calling security,” a peevish feminine voice warned.

Leo grabbed Clestie’s hand and with a sly smile, quickly moved clear of the door.

The door burst open and the sales clerk tumbled onto the floor. “Get out and don’t come back.”

“Guess we’ll take our business elsewhere.” Clestie turned up her nose. “Pity. We were going to spend a bundle. Oh well…the quality’s substandard anyway.”

Leo paused and offered a hand up to the young woman who tried to scramble to her feet. “Are you all right?” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

The woman scowled and brushed away his hand. “I’m fine. Please just go.”

Clestie tugged Leo behind her, in a hurry to leave. “Let’s get some pizza. I’m starved.”

“Pizza?” Leo’s brows puckered.

Clestie stopped dead and stared at him. “Are you putting me on? Have you truly never tasted pizza?”

Leo shook his head. “Never.”

“Oh, you’re in for a real treat. It’s pure ambrosia.”

“Then I must try it.”

She sniffed, followed the wonderful smell of the pepperoni. Her nose led her to the bustling, noisy food court where at least two hundred tables crowded into a tiny space.

She spied a couple vacating one of the tables and made a beeline for it. Soon as they cleared off their trays, she said, “Sit here and wait for me. I’ll be right back with some food. Regular cola okay?”

He stretched out on the chair and his hair fanned around him, earning him several appreciative looks from women of all ages.

Missing his touch, afraid he’d wander off, Clestie hurried. A few minutes later she balanced a tray with two sodas and four slices of pizza, two plain cheese and two pepperoni.

49 Ashley Ladd

When she spied Leo amidst a swarm of women, she misstepped and almost dropped the tray. Transfixed, a sliver of jealousy catching her off-guard, she watched the melee for several moments before approaching.

The women took turns sitting with Leo, talking in earnest and then leaving with wide grins and flirtatious winks. A few stroked his hair and hung all over him.

Was this what life with Leo would be like? Good thing he wasn’t her man or she’d have to claw out their eyes. But it would be dynamite for business if he pulled in customers so easily.

Who cares about the business? the little devil on her shoulder hissed.

Her stomach clenched.

Go break it up, the devil said on a snarl.

Clestie squared her shoulders and marched over to the crowd. “I see you’ve been kept well entertained so I won’t worry you missed me.” She glared at the goth girl in her chair and narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me, but you’re sitting in my seat.”

The young woman scrunched her nose in protest but rose. “He’s not done…” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

A collective sigh went up from the growing crowd. “But he’s not helped us yet.”

Clestie didn’t know whether to groan or shout for joy. She wished she had cards to pass out and bring official business the shop’s way. She put that on the top of her to-do list.

Or did she have to? She pasted her most professional smile on and stood. “Leo will be available for astrological readings beginning tomorrow at Petunia’s Mystic Sensations.” She gave the address, phone number and shop hours.

“What’s your email address? Your website? Can we get online readings?” a young man asked as he pushed toward the front of the crowd, his pen busily jotting down the information Clestie imparted.

Clestie’s mind went blank. She didn’t know if Petunia had moved into the internet age, but if she hadn’t, she’d have to hire a website designer. “That’s to be announced soon,” she said with a slight shrug.

Her mind clicked ahead three miles a minute. Online astrological readings… She’d run across several online psychics in her astrological searches. This could be a gold mine.

She repeated the information several times for those in the back who couldn’t hear or write quickly enough. But the crowd continued to linger, their gazes worshipping the sexy blond as the pizza grew cold and the ice melted in their drinks.

She scowled. “Let me get warm food for you.”

Leo clamped a forestalling hand on Clestie’s forearm. “This will be fine.” He stood and smiled to the crowd. “If you’ll pardon us while we dine, I will be most happy to meet with each of you individually should you decide to visit our shop.”

50 Heavenly Hijinks

Clestie nodded and nibbled on a piece of pepperoni that was sliding off the side of her slice. Even cool pizza beat warm veggies. She savored the sauce clinging to the thin round of meat as Leo bit into his slice, and she anticipated his pleasure.

Rapture lit his divine features and he quickly gobbled up the wedge. “The gods don’t know what they’ve been missing.”

She laughed lightly. “So what’s your favorite food?”

Leo stroked his chin and stared into the distance. Then he brought his gaze back to hers. “Until I returned to Earth a few days ago, I’d not eaten mortal food in centuries, but I do believe it was lamb something-or-other.”

She had to give him credit for being consistent with his story. As it was easier to humor him than express doubt, she said, “I don’t think I could live without eating. It’s one of my favorite pleasures.”

“I can see I’ve been missing out on a lot of things.” Leo’s appreciative gaze devoured Clestie.

Wildfire licked her veins and she almost choked on the cheese sliding down her throat. Coughing and spluttering, she quickly took a sip of the lukewarm soda. When she could speak again, she averted her gaze. “Well, you look great, not at all deprived.” Except fashion-wise. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She wiped off her mouth, loaded her trash onto the tray and pushed her chair back. Standing, she looked at her companion. “Time to finish shopping. I have a premonition that you’re going to have a very busy opening day tomorrow.”

Leo stood and pushed in his chair. He took her tray and placed it on top of the trash receptacle. He waved at his many fans as if he was a rock star.

She spied a kiss being blown to him by one amorous woman and several winks by others. Jealous, she linked her arm through his and pulled him close against her. When he looked down at her, she mumbled, “I don’t want to get separated from you in this crowd.”

The crowd looked ready to mow her down in their hot, single-minded pursuit of Leo. Would she have to hire security guards to keep peace at the shop?

Leo placed his other hand on her arm and whispered, “Don’t worry. I have no intention of being pulled from your side. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Clestie almost melted at his feet but managed to hold herself together. Barely. She gazed up into the most soulful, beautiful eyes she’d ever seen and almost lost herself. “But you have to get back to the heavens.”

A small frown tugged at his chiseled lips. “Ah, that I must, but that is not mydesire.” He pulled his arm away from hers.

An immediate chill shivered down her spine and she missed his touch. God, she had to get a grip.

He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, dropping a light kiss on her cheek.

51 Ashley Ladd

Her head spun and butterflies somersaulted in her stomach. She leaned closer into him and inhaled his scent, quickly becoming intoxicated. “What is your desire?” She dare not examine her own desires.

He stopped and turned her gently but inexorably toward him. “To spend my days and nights left on Earth with you.”

Nights?

She gulped and it felt as though the earth quaked beneath her feet. As sweet as it was, she couldn’t let herself continue with this forbidden, impossible fantasy, so she pulled away from him and dredged up a fake smile. “We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow, so we need to find you some better clothes.” She glanced down at his ratty sandals. “And shoes.”

* * * * *

Leo imprinted Clestie’s scent on his heart. If only she wasn’t a mortal, a Scorpio with only Leo in her moon…

Fire and water couldn’t mix. Her water would douse his flames… But it hadn’t so far. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Although he was vaguely aware that several women gazed upon him flirtatiously, some with downright lust, they were out of focus. Only Clestie shined brightly, outshining the brightest stars in his constellation.

He couldn’t care less about acquiring new clothes or shoes—he found them stuffy and annoying, nor did his Leos seem to care what he wore, only who he was and how he could help them. But if getting new clothes made Clestie happy, if it meant he could have her undivided attention, he’d take home all the clothes in the mall. If changing his looks meant winning her approval and hopefully her heart, he’d escort her to wherever her heart desired.

Despite his initial disinterest in the new clothing, he marveled at the zippers modern man used to fasten their clothing. But he balked when Clestie tried to put closed-toe shoes on him. He folded his arms and stood firmly. “I prefer sandals.”

Clestie tsk-tsked and shook her head. “You need decent dress shoes and gym shoes as well as sandals.”

“I’ll end up owing you the whole of my wages should you buy so many things for me.”

She waved away his worries with a nonchalant flick of her wrist. “Let me worry about that.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and squared his shoulders. “Sandals only.”

Clestie looked down at his feet and crossed her eyes. Her foot tapped rapidly, making a series of dull thuds on the carpeted floor. “I suppose the beach bum look is more in keeping with the whole zodiac thing.”

52 Heavenly Hijinks

Not liking the sound of that, he narrowed his eyes. “I can assure you the zodiac is quite reputable.”

Chagrin flashed across Clestie’s beautiful face and her brows drew together. “I didn’t mean any insult. I just have trouble believing in it.”

If only he could take her to the stars…

He tilted his head and looked up toward his father. Would Zeus consider exalting her to the heavens?

Thunder shook the building, and several shoes and purses fell off their racks. People jumped and clutched at their bags, each other and anything near them.

Clestie looked up at the ceiling. “Heavens, what was that? It was sunny when we came in here.”

She was right about the heavens part, only his father’s undeniable “no” was not very heavenly. He took Clestie’s hand in his and pulled her out of the store. He eyed the many shopping bags swinging from their arms, filled with all manner of work and play clothes. “Are we through?”

Clestie’s gaze followed his and she laughed lightly. “Is the mall making you claustrophobic?”

He was pleased that she didn’t pull away from him and even curled her fingers around his. He squeezed her hand and murmured against the tantalizing lobe of her ear, “I’d much prefer to have you all to myself.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She shivered against him and linked her fingers more securely through his. She stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss across his lips. “That sounds divine.”

He returned the kiss with an equally light one, wishing he could deepen it. Soon as they were alone in the dark confines of her vessel, he gathered her into his arms and drank deeply of her lips. He stroked her hair away from her lovely face and memorized her delicate bone structure.

She returned his kisses with equal and growing fervor. She snuggled against him and wound her fingers through his hair.

The windows steamed and he was so intoxicated he forgot they were in a semi-public place until a horn blasted nearby and raucous laughter scorched his ears. When the angel in his arms pulled back, he mourned the loss of her warmth, the light caress of her fingers, her lips.

Clestie smoothed her hair and tried to put it back in order, but wisps escaped in charming tendrils around her heart-shaped face. Her eyes were wide and shimmering in the dark car. “I don’t know what’s come over me.”

He growled and released her reluctantly, wanting nothing more than to ravage her and make her his. “Don’t apologize.”

No woman had ever regretted being with him, being worshipped by him, and he most definitely didn’t want this one to feel such.

53 Ashley Ladd

He drank in her loveliness and his groin tightened unbearably. He grazed his knuckles down her closest arm and didn’t miss the fact her flesh goose-pimpled. “The gods kissed you the day you were born.”

A becoming blush stained the apple of her cheeks and she slid a shy glance at him. “Do you slay all the girls with lines like that?”

Slay? He frowned. “I assure you I have never harmed a woman and I would never hurt you.”

Clestie started the car then spun the wheel and then let it slide through her loose fingers as the SUV made a sharp turn to the right. “I mean, do you flatter a lot of women with such flowery words? How many fall for those lines?”

“I was being most honest. I’ve never beheld a more beautiful mortal. Even Helen pales in comparison.”

“Helen as in Helen of Troy?” Awe laced her voice and a humble joy lit her face.

He nodded. “None other.”

The traffic grew horrendous and she gave her attention over to it.

Almost half an hour later, she pulled over to the curb, turned off the vehicle and turned to him. “Thank you.”

He lifted her hand to his lips and caressed it. Tingles shot up his spine and he longed to taste her lips. “I am sure you receive many such compliments.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie grimaced and shadows crossed her eyes. “Not many.”

“Then your man is not worthy of being a man. You deserve to be cherished and revered. I would never let you forget how beautiful you are.”

“But you won’t be staying, will you?” Her lips twisted.

Leo could swear pain and longing clouded her eyes, awakening similar emotions in him. He would never willingly hurt this special woman. He pulled her across the seat and enveloped her in a hug. “I cannot. I must return to help my charges. They have lost their way and need me.”

Her lips parted as if to speak and then she tightly pursed them.

He slid a finger beneath her chin and lifted her face so he could better see into her soul. The typical Scorpio passion blazed out at him.

“I am slave to my responsibilities.” He remembered his father’s thunderbolt. “And my family.”

Ruefully, she glanced over at the shop and nodded. “I understand family loyalty.” The closed sign still dangled askew on the front door beneath the silvery wind chimes. He could barely make out the counter and vague outlines of racks.

“’Tis not a bad thing.” He wouldn’t have met her, however, if not for his streak of disloyalty.

54 Heavenly Hijinks

His hands couldn’t get enough of her softness, nor his gaze her intoxicating beauty. He feathered kisses over her eyelids and down her cheek to the long creamy column of her throat.

“Umm, you’re scrumptious.”

He hadn’t been so affected by a woman since… He thoughtfully rubbed his chin. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever been so captivated.

He had to be with her again before he returned to the stars, before he could think straight, before he could get on with the business of helping all his mortal Leos. He gave way to his clamoring senses and buried his face in her floral-scented hair. It reminded him of jasmine and wildflowers.

He longed to free her inhibitions, to restore her to the wildly passionate, erotic Scorpio that still sizzled inside. Deep down, her passions simmered and he would bring them out as his gift to her before he left, for all that she would do for him and his charges.

“Don’t ever let anyone take you for granted. If someone does, he doesn’t deserve you.” He nibbled on her ear, and then kissed his way to the corner of her mouth.

Confusion and passion warred in her eyes. She shifted slightly, just enough to press her lips to his, to steal his breath.

Her lips moved gently over his and parted in invitation. Her tongue pushed against his teeth and when he opened his lips it mated with his, tangling in a heated dance. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

The tips of her breasts teased his chest and he dragged her against him, molding her curves against his rising heat. He had to feel their silkiness and he slid his hand under her gaping shirt. He savored her moan as he kneaded her nipple between his fingers.

Lost in her, he pushed aside the offending material of her top, loosing her breast to his hungry gaze. She spread her hands over his chest and he cursed the material keeping their flesh apart.

With a low curse, she shoved him away and fumbled at putting her shirt back in its place and then sat up. “Oh my god! It’s early evening and we’re sitting under a streetlight! There’s a class of kids in that tae kwon do studio. We can’t do this here.”

He twisted in his seat and glanced at the neighboring business meeting the owner’s disapproving glower. He sent a friendly, apologetic wave to the master and took several deep breaths trying to restore his equilibrium without much success. His heart still hammered away a thousand beats per second. His cock still raged and meant to have her.

He wound his fingers through hers and pulled her across the seat and out the door. Without a missed step, he rushed her inside the shop and into his arms. Gazing down into her eyes, he pulled her hips to his groin and let his fingers caress the small of her back. “I hope your cousin isn’t here. I want you all to myself.”

Clestie wet her lips with the tip of her pink tongue and nodded. Her glance stole over his head to the second floor. “Elizabeth?”

55 Ashley Ladd

He listened intently for telltale signs, a rustling of material, a footfall, a heavy breath, but he didn’t hear so much as an insect scuttle across the old floors. “Good. She doesn’t appear to be here.” Without awaiting further reply, he scooped his angel into his arms and mounted the winding staircase, taking it two stairs at a time. Eager to share her bed, to show her how very precious she was, he fairly flew up the stairwell.

“Hurry, before she comes home.”

He had no intention of hurrying their lovemaking. Every particle of his being longed to love and cherish her all night. Then perhaps once he had his fill, he could think straight and help her to find that magical part of herself that could send him home.

Home.

To the stars. The heavens. His family.

Why did that thought feel so cold and bereft?So lifeless ?

This mortal woman had breathed new life into his soul from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. She’d filled his heart with a joy he’d long forgotten existed. He no longer felt bored and restless, anxious to conquer new frontiers and explore new roads to fun. The only goals he cared about were to help his charges, and most of all, to unite with this special woman.

Tucked against his heart, Clestie nuzzled his neck with her warm lips. Squirming against him, she set fires to blaze in his veins. He increased the length of his strides, eager to begin his exploration of her, eager to Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

lose himself in her wonder.

She wound her arms around his neck and snuggled deeply into his arms. She slid his shirt free and shoved it over and off, then eagerly licked and nipped and kissed his chest.

Quivers shot down his body in an almost physical ache and his cock flexed. What seemed an eternity later, he lowered her onto the mattress. He joined her on the bed and gathered her against his heart. “I will show you just how you should be cherished.” He would spoil her for any other.

A moment of guilt flickered in Leo’s conscience for he knew he couldn’t stay, couldn’t make her forever his, but his base desire drove him on. He trailed hot, wet kisses from her swollen lips to the base of her throat where he found her rapidly fluttering pulse. He kissed it as he kneaded the soft mounds of her breasts.

She writhed beside him, lifting her hips off the bed in an invitation he knew well and yet one that had never before excited him as it did now. Her fingertips lightly caressed the trail of hair that slipped beneath his slacks and then she dipped two fingers beneath his waistband.

He sucked in a long breath as his muscles tensed, awaiting her deepening exploration. He willed Clestie’s passion to blaze fully forth, to loose her inhibitions, to be his perfect bedmate.

56 Heavenly Hijinks

She pushed her hand deeper inside his slacks and then inside his underwear, finding the source of his heat. She curled her fingers around his girth and stroked lightly.

He moaned and, rolling over, pinned her to the bed. This night she was his—if only for this night. With a primitive growl, he pushed the hindering material off his legs and kicked it across the room. He reveled in the magical feel of her hands stroking him, the long sensual sweep of her tongue as she swirled it around first one burgeoning nipple and then its twin.

She pushed him onto his back and lavished kisses over his chest, working her way from his nipples to his navel. Her tongue dipped inside and then followed the trail of his hair south. She teased him, running her fingers through his wiry curls, chasing them with her tongue, around his cock, and then around his heavy testicles, but not touching them.

Blood pulsed through his cock and it curved from its heavy weight. He grew impatient for the sweep of her tongue to cool the fire that raged through his shaft and he shifted toward her so that it grazed her face.

She laughed lightly, the silvery tinkle washing over him. “You must be the god of love.”

He arched his head deeper into the fluffy pillow and roared out his pleasure, pushing his cock closer to her succulent lips. “’Tis my sister who is the goddess of love.”

Clestie rolled her eyes as she trailed a fingertip along the length of his feverish cock. “Learn to take a compliment.” With a long, luscious sweep of her tongue, she licked his cock. “Has anyone told you how yummy you are?”

Several. But she was special. He lifted his head off the pillow and smiled up at her. “No one as yummy as you.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

That earned a dazzling smile which made his gut clench and his cock flex. By Cronus, but she was adorable!

Moaning and writhing, Leo pushed the tip of his cock against her teeth, seeking entrance into her wet mouth. He wondered if her boyfriend would like her high praise of him. Then a growl rumbled up from the depths of his soul. He would rip that so-called boyfriend to shreds and leave his sorry carcass for the marauders if he dared come near Clestie again. He was laying claim to her! She was too precious for any mere mortal.

With a saucy smile, she moved away from the tip of his cock, and sucked the loose flesh on the underside of his cock into her mouth. Then her fingers curled around the base of his shaft and she gently pumped.

Her curls tickled his highly sensitized flesh and he squirmed. Reaching down, he wound his fingers in her golden locks and captured her head lest she even dream of bringing an end to her rapturous movements.

57 Ashley Ladd

She licked and nipped her way up his cock and then kissed its tip reverently. Then she opened her mouth wide and took him deeper into her mouth, inch by thunderous inch.

In a heaven that was more heavenly than his celestial home, Leo closed his eyes and drowned in rapture. As spasms racked his body, he pumped harder into her mouth. Creaking and groaning, the bed banged against the wall in rhythm to his primitive thrusts, matching his conquering mood.

Clestie milked his seed until he was satiated. He tapped the top of her head and then pulled her up beside him. The glitter of his come on her swollen lips renewed his desire. When the tip of her tongue peeked between her lips and tasted his juices, he watched, mesmerized.

His cock swelling back to life, he rolled her onto her back and, hungering for more of her intoxicating touch, he swung his leg over lushness, straddling her. Towering over the lovely woman for several moments, he drank in her glorious beauty. Counting his many blessings, he listed her as number one. Did his Leos really need him as much as this mortal? Or as much as he needed, wanted and yearned for her?

Embers of something he dreaded to name warmed his heart and soul. Gentleness and possession warred in him every time he gazed upon the loveliness beneath him. “Your beauty graces this world.”

Crimson stole prettily into her cheeks and a smile tugged at one corner of her lips. “Shameless flatterer.”

“Only absolute truth passes my lips.” Another absolute truth made itself clear. His desire for this nymph was insatiable. He had to have her again.

Unable to wait a moment longer, he kneed her legs wide and plunged into her moist, quivering pussy.

With passion turning her eyes bluer than the Mediterranean Ocean, she tightened her legs about his girth and lifted her hips high. Perspiration beaded against her glistening flesh like precious pearls.

He held her tightly against his swiftly beating heart and she perfectly molded to him. Her pert nipples tickled and teased his chest, further igniting the wildfire rapidly spreading out of control. Feeling like a pirate of old, he plundered the treasure of her lips and drank deeply. Then their tongues mated until he could breathe no more. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

His thrusts became deeper and harder. Ragged breaths escaped his lips.

Murmuring too low for her to hear, he implored, “Great Zeus, kind and loving father,”he hoped, “grant me this woman for my own.”

Clestie writhed and screamed as her gaze glazed over with rapture. As her body spasmed with a powerful orgasm, she ground against him in a frantic fury, milking him of his seed.

Brilliant arrays of fireworks exploded in his mind as his seed spewed forth.

58 Heavenly Hijinks

Cradling her as close to his heart as he could, he showered her with kisses. He cherished this rare find and still marveled at his discovery. He was most assured fate had guided his steps.

Smoothing the damp tendrils of her hair away from her flushed face, he gazed deeply into her darkened eyes, so like shining blue sapphires. “That was perfect.”

Mischief danced around the edges of her lips and she snuggled against him. “Better than perfect.” Then her heavy lids drooped and her breathing evened out.

Before the sun peeked over the horizon the following morning, Leo awoke and his gaze devoured the pretty woman whose blonde tresses curled erratically about her cheeks as she lay under the rumpled covers. Bliss lit Clestie’s exquisite features. In the glow coming from the high bedroom window, she shimmered like a nymph.

Still in awe of her loveliness, he inhaled deeply of her floral scent. Her aura was so strong it pulsed with a silvery glow. He admired her truly powerful energy, much brighter than that of ordinary mortals.

He stared at her for several long moments in silence as golden sunbeams danced their way across her covers to sparkle in her hair and then alight on her high cheekbones, finally teasing her eyes until the intense light would no longer let her slumber.

She cracked open one eye and groggily looked around. When she spied him sitting cross-legged beside her feet, both eyes flew wide open and she jerked up in the bed. Her covers pooled around her waist, exposing her very naked, beautifully pert breasts.

He couldn’t help but crack a smile when she gasped, dove for the sheet and tugged it over her lush form. He didn’t let on that he could see the imprint of her dusky areolas through the thin cotton or how the erotic sight affected him.

She stuck out her lower lip and blew her stray curls away from her eyes. “So it wasn’t a nightmare?”

No one had ever thought him a nightmare before. He fought a frown and gazed steadily at her. “Most certainly not. ‘Twas a most memorable, satisfying night.”

Clestie hunkered down deeper into her covers and pulled them over her head. “Richard will kill me.”

“So don’t tell Richard.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She yanked the covers off her face and glared at him. “We don’t keep secrets from each other. I don’t intend to start our life together that way.”

He scowled and bit back a snarl. “Then you lie. You’re keeping a very big secret from him.” He paused to let his words sink in and take root.

Suspicion edged out the anger in her eyes. “What secret?”

His gaze dueled with hers. “You don’t love him. He’s not the right man for you.”

Her nostrils flared and she propped herself up higher on her elbows. “And who is? You?”

59 Ashley Ladd

He didn’t like the sarcastic tinge to her voice. “You know it can’t be me, as I have to return to my rightful place. But the fact that you welcomed me so willingly into your bed proves you’re not in love with the man.”

“Ooh! How dare you!” She grabbed her pillow and flung it with a mighty fierceness at his head.

He ducked as a loud crash sounded behind him. A lamp lay on the floor amidst a shower of broken glass. “I only dare tell the truth.”

He pushed himself off the bed and began to pick up the mess. “Would you rather I lie to you and assure you how deliriously happy you’ll be with the wrong man?”

A shadow fell across him and suddenly the room vibrated with increased negative energy. The bed creaked loudly and a strangled gasp sounded behind him.

“The wrong man? I hope you don’t mean me.” A suave man wearing a coat and a paisley ascot around his neck ambled into the room as if he had every right to be there.

Leo narrowed his gaze at the intruder and didn’t miss the fact that Clestie’s formerly flushed face had paled to a ghostly white. The hair on the back of his neck bristled and he rose to his full height to square off against his rival.

The wrong man pivoted on a highly polished loafer and raised a finely arched brow at Leo. “Would you care to explain why there is a naked man in your bedroom, Clestie?” He turned back to Clestie and haughtily regarded her down the long line of his pronounced nose. “And why are you lying there when he’s in the room?”

Clestie’s lips worked soundlessly for several seconds as her fingers clutched the sheet to her chin. “I, uh, can explain.”

The man’s finely manicured hands delved deep into his pockets. He rocked back and forth on his heels. “Well?” He glanced over his shoulder at Leo. “It certainly doesn’t look good. And to think, I came to ask you to marry me.”

Clestie gulped and looked from the man to Leo and back. “Marry you?” Her voice was barely a whisper, no discernable trace of glee coloring it. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

The man turned to Leo and held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Richard Hyatt. And you are…?”

“Leo.” He ignored the man’s proffered hand.

Clestie scooted up higher in the bed, still keeping a death grip on her sheet. “He’s our new employee, our astrological reader.”

Richard’s expression grew more supercilious as he swaggered to her side. His glance bounced from Clestie to Leo. “So you’re a psychic? You can read astrological charts?” He laughed outright. “Tell me, Leo, what sign am I?”

Every muscle in Leo’s body tensed and he longed to leap at the enemy and rip him to shreds. But he held himself in check, maintaining his civilized veneer for the woman’s sake. “Without knowing your birth date, I cannot possibly know.” Although as surly and patronizing as the man was, he’d guess Cancer. Praise Zeus, he didn’t sense any Leo in him.

60 Heavenly Hijinks

“You’re not a very adept psychic then, are you?”

“What are you?” Clestie glowered at the man. “The acknowledged expert of the astrological world?”

Richard bestowed upon her a very condescending glare. “I’m just saying…he doesn’t know his stuff. Psychics are supposed to be able to read minds.”

Leo grew weary of the man’s tiresome snit. “Psychics aren’t all mind readers.”

“My birthday is June 23.”

“Ah, a Cancer.” Supposedly, he was a perfect match for Clestie, but this time the stars were dead wrong.

“If you will both excuse me, I need a few moments of privacy.” Clestie waved her hand, shooing them away. “Battle it out in the hall if you must. If you break anything, you’ll have to clean it up.”

“Is there anything for me to fight over?” Richard said looking at his fisted hand. “And what about my proposal?”

Clestie seemed to look inward for several seconds. “May I have a little time to think it over? You surprised me.”

“I thought you’d see it as a happy surprise. And you should have known it was coming.”

She averted her gaze and veiled her long lashes over her eyes. She murmured, “Yes, I was expecting it, but I still need time to think.”

Richard’s face purpled and mottled. His lips tightened into a thin, almost invisible line. “Fine.” He delivered a stinging slap across Clestie’s cheek, knocking her back against the bed. He tossed a blue velvet box onto the bed that landed with a small thump beside Clestie’s elbow. “Pardon me if I forgot to go down on one knee.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie’s hand flew to her bruised cheek and she glared up at Richard. She hissed, “Get out.”

Aphrodite save me. Leo’s blood boiled and his claws wanted to emerge. Bristling, Leo squared his shoulders and loomed over the man. He growled and shoved the man out of the bedroom. Following close behind, he landed a punch in the man’s midsection so that he doubled over. “No one strikes a lady in my presence. Apologize.”

Richard held his stomach and glared up at Leo with snarling hatred. “And who’s going to make me?”

Leo’s chest puffed out and his fist tingled to deck the man again, this time in the jaw. “I will.”

Aphrodite shimmered to life behind the unpleasant man. “You rang, brother? Is this little bug of a mortal bothering you?”

Between gritted teeth, Leo said, “Yes. Worse, he’s bothering a lady.”

Aphrodite waved her hand high in the air and Richard shrank and turned into a snapping alligator. The only accoutrement remaining to identify him as the annoying

61 Ashley Ladd

Richard was his royal blue paisley ascot which still hung about his neck. The goddess clapped her hands. “Okay. Problem solved.” She glanced heavenward and whispered, “Don’t tell father about this. I’ve been forbidden to help you.”

Aphrodite turned around and waved a hand over Clestie’s eyes. “You will not remember what you just saw.” Shrugging she turned to Leo and then inclined her head at the other woman. “’Tis better for her this way. And you.”

The goddess winked out of sight.

With loathing and revenge in its beady eyes, the alligator sprang at Leo, snapping its huge maw not an inch from his legs.

62 Heavenly Hijinks

Chapter Seven

The line of clients waiting for Leo’s astrological readings wound around the block. Some stood patiently playing games on their cell phones or conversing with their neighbors. Others hopped from foot to foot and complained long and loudly about the wait. Leo and Clestie still lay abed, enjoying their last free minutes of the long day.

Ever since Leo had chased Richard the alligator off the premises hours before, he hadn’t caught his scent or heard so much as a primitive grunt or claws scrabbling against the hardwood floor. He hoped the reptile had joined his true kind in the swamp to the west or been caught and put on display in a zoo.

To Leo’s extreme relief and pleasure, Clestie had not questioned him about the man’s whereabouts. But then of course, Aphrodite had hidden those memories.

To his knowledge, no one had come around to ask about Richard. He presumed the man wasn’t any Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

more popular with his own kind than with him. And he wasn’t about to muddy Clestie’s thoughts or feelings with the man’s name or evil deeds.

Leo ached for Clestie, so he gathered her to him and feathered kisses over her face and down the column of her creamy throat to her lushly tempting breasts. The more he tasted of her, the more intense his desire raged. Unable to resist, he leaned over and suckled her nipple while he kneaded its twin.

“Um. That feels wonderful.” Moaning in ecstasy, she rolled onto her back and curled her arm around his neck as her fingertips massaged his scalp.

“Um. You taste like ambrosia.” As warmth flooded him, he moved to the other breast, and gently bit the nipple.

She jumped and yelped. Then she tossed him a mock angry glance.

He bit back a smile and then muttered in a thick voice, “Stroke my cock.” Bringing her hand to his staff, he showed her how he wished to be pleasured.

Squirming and writhing, she stroked his cock at first reverently, and then with more fervor. Her heavenly fingers worked their divine magic and soon moans were ripped from his depths.

Hungering for more, he cupped the triangle between her legs, then dipped a finger inside her moist warmth. When she shuddered against him, he took joy in her delight.

Her thumb massaged the tip of his shaft, lubricating the silky head with his juices.

On fire, he throbbed in her hand.

Releasing her nipple, he lay atop her, capturing her lips, stroking her tongue with his. Her breasts, crushed beneath his chest, tickled him. His full erection nestled between her legs, and he couldn’t wait a moment longer.

63 Ashley Ladd

Rising high above her, he plunged into her tight, moist heat as her muscles clenched and unclenched hypnotically. “You make me so hot.”

“You make me hot, too.”

Her words were garbled and raspy, but nonetheless filled him with irrepressible joy. She wantonly ground her hips against him, in the primitive dance that hadn’t changed in Leo’s 3500 years.

She massaged his back and then his shoulders until finally her hands came to curl about his waist. Her softness squeezed around him tightly, and she groaned into his mouth as he feasted on her lips.

Screams tore from Clestie’s lips as she met him for one final, excruciating thrust and clung to him. They quivered and quaked and their release seemed to last forever as they drank deeply of one another.

* * * * *

Clestie eyed the hyperactive crowd with worry in her heart. The one that worried her the most was her Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

neighbor, the tae kwon do master. He cartwheeled back and forth. He practiced unbelievably high kicks. He jogged in place for hours at a time. He could do anything except stand still. His neighbors gave him wide berth. Some clapped when he flipped in the air. Others groaned and jumped back.

Clestie watched with growing dismay as they prepared to open the doors. She feared the mob would stampede the store.

Elizabeth checked the cash register and grunted her approval. Then she turned her worried gaze on the melee. “Call the police station and see if we can get a couple off-duty officers to guard us. And we need to limit the number of customers inside to five at a time.”

Clestie stapled business cards to advertising fliers they had hurriedly printed out on Aunt Petunia’s old printer. “Already done. They promised to send them right over. I hope that’s enough.” She looked over at Leo who was standing on his head, meditating, his glorious hair tumbling over his face. Judging how long it had taken him to produce her astrological profile, she worried he wouldn’t be able to service even half the people waiting, even if he worked nonstop ‘til midnight. Not to mention the time needed to translate his words to English.

“We need more readers,” she said under her breath. “They’re going to riot when they realize we only have one.”

Elizabeth applied a coat of her favorite chili-colored lipstick and then smacked her lips over a tissue. Then she snapped shut her compact mirror. “Call a temp agency and have them send over two or three.”

Clestie rolled her eyes heavenward, feeling like she was in a weird sitcom. “Like there’s an agency for psychics?”

64 Heavenly Hijinks

“You never know. Google it.” Elizabeth gave her pat answer for everything. “Absolutely no installment plans. Cash, credit cards we can immediately verify and money orders only. It’ll be good to give a ten percent discount for cash payment. Incentive.”

Clestie suspected that her cousin must be a major stockholder in Google. If not, she should be. She thought about buying several shares for Elizabeth’s Christmas gift and a few for herself as well. She’d start looking into it.

Elizabeth scribbled out a sign and slid it down the counter. “Real quick, run upstairs and type this up. Print out a few copies and post them on the windows and Leo’s table.”

Her nerves zinging, Clestie took the stairs two at a time. She darted to the computer and pecked at the keyboard until the payment sign was entered. She highlighted the words, blew up the font to thirty-six and bold-faced it.

Once she finished that, she Googled local temp agencies. None specialized in mystical anything, but she crossed her fingers and called the nearest one. She instilled confidence into her voice when she placed her order, “I need two astrological readers immediately, today if at all possible.”

The woman erupted into riotous laughter in her ear. “You want what? Try calling the gypsies.”

Clestie bent her head and massaged her temple. If only she knew where to find gypsies in Fort Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Lauderdale…

She swallowed hard and said goodbye to her pride, reminding herself that she was just a disembodied voice over a telephone. “Do you know where I’d find readers?” She paused and the final word slipped off her tongue, “Gypsies?”

“Look, we don’t have time for crank calls.” The line went dead with a loud snap.

“Thanks for nothing!” Clestie opened a new Excel spreadsheet and started two lists. In big, bold lettering she put the temp agency at the top of the do-not-contact-ever-again list. For good measure, she highlighted it in glaring yellow.

She really didn’t want to go through such a humiliating experience again, but it paled at the thought of the potentially dangerous crowd getting antsy on her sidewalk. So she picked up the phone with unsteady fingers and dialed the second agency. “Good morning. I need to see if you have any astrological readers.” Oh lord, was that their official job title?

“You want what? Would you repeat that? I couldn’t hear you.”

Clestie leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling. She extended her legs and crossed them at her ankles. Very succinctly, she repeated her request, “I need to hire two astrological readers immediately, this morning if at all possible.”

“We specialize in office personnel—administrative assistants, bookkeepers and clerical workers. We also screen our employers and it takes longer than ten minutes on the phone.”

65 Ashley Ladd

“Well, thank you anyway.” Clestie dropped the phone on its hook and rotated her feet in small circles. She added the no-go to her list of do not contact again.

Quickly she opened a new window in the search engine and searched through astrological websites.

After six unproductive, embarrassing calls, Clestie was about to call the psychic hotline and beg the person who answered to come and work for her. She gave it one last shot.

“Hello. I need, uh, rather unusual job skills. I realize you probably don’t specialize in this type of employees, but if you could check your database and see if anyone has ever done this…”

“Done what, ma’am?”

“Oh, nothing illegal or immoral, I assure you. Just not exactly an office skill.” Clestie bit her nails, a nervous habit she thought she’d broken twenty years before.

“We can’t help you, ma’am, unless you tell us what you need.”

Clestie forced her fingers away from her mouth. “No, of course not. I need at least one astrological reader. Two would be better.”

“Is this for a TV or internet hotline?” The woman’s voice remained professional without a hint of the censure highly evident in all the others. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Bless her.

Clestie crossed her fingers again. “No. We inherited a psychic shop and have customers lined up for several blocks. We only have one reader. We’re desperate. Can you please help?”

“If only we were all so desperate. I wish my business was so good.” There was a pause. “What happened to your other readers? Surely the former owner employed more than one.”

Hope grew in Clestie’s heart and she typed the agency’s name onto the top of her to-work-with list. Even if they couldn’t help her today, they were professional and trying to be helpful. She tucked the phone between her ear and shoulder and gathered the new signs into a neat pile.

“I’ll input your criteria into our search engine and see if we come up with any matches. Sometimes people have many talents and hobbies.”

Clestie prayed they’d find good help quickly. She couldn’t keep the doors locked all day and she’d already been on the phone for half hour as she fended off Elizabeth’s increasingly irritated queries.

“What rate are you willing to pay? Before you decide, please know that our agency calculates a third of the salary as our profit, so you’ll need to adjust your figures. For instance, if you pay your staff fifteen dollars hourly, we collect five dollars as our share, so you’d be paying us twenty dollars total an hour.”

She nodded. Fair enough. Right now, she’d pay out her teeth for a competent reader.

66 Heavenly Hijinks

“And we’ll need a contract that if you hire this person permanently before the end of six months, our agency will receive a three thousand dollar early termination penalty.”

Clestie paused. As long as Leo stayed, business would be good. The clients seemed to be coming specifically to see him. So would they even work with a different reader?

What about when he left? Then what? Would all this business evaporate? She drummed her nails on the desk. Leo couldn’t handle so many people by his lonesome. And she’d need Leo to train his replacements if the new hires weren’t already expert.

She hoped like crazy she wasn’t being foolish. She inhaled deeply. “Can we interview them first before we hire them?” She’d have Leo test them, give the yea or nay.

“Of course. Just let me run a quick computer search for any matches.”

Clestie nodded vigorously, as if the woman could see her head bob. She tapped the signs against the desk to straighten the already neat pile.

Ten seconds doubled into twenty and then multiplied into sixty. God, it felt like an eternity. She started to type out, “Help Wanted. Experienced Only. Apply Inside.”

“Jackpot! I found one.”

Clestie slumped with relief and they made the arrangements. She just prayed the person was still Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

available.

Panic lined Elizabeth’s face and she pounced on Clestie when she descended the bottom stair. “I thought you deserted us. I was about to send the National Guard after you.” She tilted her head at the irritated crowd outside. “The natives are getting restless.”

Someone banged loudly on the window and Clestie jumped, throwing the signs to the floor. A chant arose. “We want Leo. Give us Leo.”

“Have the security guards arrived yet?” She could barely hear herself. She knelt down on one knee and gathered the papers and handed them to her cousin.

“Not yet. We can’t stall them forever, but I’m scared they’ll storm in if we open without him.”

Leo said from behind her, his voice deep and soothing, “I’ll talk to them. Those who want readings and to speak to me can come in one at a time. Those who desire other wares can enter five at a time.”

Clestie prayed the crowd would listen. She glanced at Elizabeth. “You ready? Should we go for it?”

“Better do it now before I lose my nerve.” Elizabeth picked up the papers and strolled toward the door.

Puffing out his chest, Leo halted her. “I’d best go first.”

Elizabeth held out her hand with a chuckle. “Be my guest.”

67 Ashley Ladd

As they approached the door, an ear-splitting roar arose and thunderous clapping ensued. Clestie sucked in a ragged breath. “We can still run and hide. Call for air rescue to land on the roof.”

Elizabeth eyed the shelves of strange ingredients. “Or turn them into toads.”

Clestie had to chuckle and cracked her first grin of the morning. “Remind me not to piss you off.”

Clestie clutched the key in her hand and glanced at her cohorts. “One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go! Here goes nothing.” She inserted the key and turned it.

As soon as they opened the door an inch, the mob tried to crowd in. The line disappeared into a wall of seething, writhing humanity, pushing and shoving.

“Close the door! Hurry!” Clestie turned and pushed with her back.

When Leo added his brute strength and the door clicked, she hurriedly locked it.

He frowned. “They’re thick as locusts.”

Duh! “You think?” She hugged herself. When someone banged on the glass door, she jumped and her heart raced.

“I know!” Elizabeth pointed at the stairs. “Lean out the upstairs window and lay out the terms.” She gave Leo a nudge. “Go now.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie trudged up the steps behind him, and flung open her bedroom window that looked over the street. “Do it now before they tear down the building.”

When he leaned out the window, Clestie choked back a laugh. With his long and flowing golden locks cascading out the window, he looked like Rapunzel.

“Please be quiet and listen.” Leo cupped his hands about his mouth like a megaphone and projected his voice.

Clestie sidled up to Leo and took in the scene below with mounting dread. From up high, the situation looked worse. The entire block was filled up. “God, it looks like Times Square on New Year’s Eve.”

Although the hum died down, an angry voice yelled, “What’s taking you people so long? Open up now!”

The chanting started again, louder and angrier. “We want Leo! Give us Leo!”

Clestie’s heart fell to her feet. “This won’t work. Who are we kidding?”

Leo yelled, “We won’t open until everyone is quiet and orderly. Form two single-file lines. One for those who want a reading. The other for people who only want to buy other wares.”

People shoved and pushed. Fistfights broke out.

Clestie regarded Leo with awe. What was it about him that inspired such strong emotions? Aunt Petunia had never been swamped with business like this, at least not during her visits.

68 Heavenly Hijinks

She heard a voice ring out with supreme authority. “Do as the gentleman says now.”

Clestie leaned out the window with curiosity and looked for the source of the voice. She spied their neighbor, the tae kwon do master, standing tall and proud in the center of the crowd.

A bug-eyed, paunchy man with a tuft of blond hair combed back over a shiny bald spot got up in the master’s face. “Why? So you can butt in line? I’ve been standing out here since eight a.m.”

The soft-spoken tae kwon do master folded his muscular arms over his chest. “Please keep your distance, sir.”

Snarling, the aggressor moved forward and shoved the master. “Or you’ll do what?”

“This.” The master grabbed the man’s arm, twisted it behind him and put him in a joint lock hold. Then the master forced his blond assailant to the ground and looked around at the rest of the crowd, who had begun to cheer. “Would anyone else like to take me on?”

Clestie clapped and whistled. “Thank you,” she murmured under her breath. She would definitely sign up to learn self-defense as soon as she found a free moment.

The master lifted his head and his gaze met hers. “Why don’t you pass out numbers? Or appointment Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

times?”

Clestie nodded. Turning to Leo, she asked, “About how long does it take you to do a reading?”

Leo looked thoughtful and then said, “The initial gathering of information takes only about ten minutes. Another ten minutes for me to talk to them to get a feel for the individual. The actual charting can take several hours. In-depth readings take days.”

Hours?Days ? Clestie gulped. She counted at least a couple hundred would-be patrons. “How can we ever service all of them? It’ll take months!”

“Have them fill out their information before they meet with me.”

“Someone will have to translate for you.” Her fingers itched to dial the employment agency back to order a secretary fluent in Greek. “We are so unprepared. Who are we kidding?”

Leo took her hands in his and gazed down at her. “Trust me. I can help them. We can do this together.”

His energy vibrated through her and seeped into her bones.

“But you’re only one man.”

He smiled his flittering, heart-stopping smile. “I’m Leo, son of Zeus.”

“If you’re truly the son of a god, why are you stuck with us?” She let her gaze roam over the anxious people. “With all this?”

69 Ashley Ladd

* * * * *

At the end of the longest day in history, Clestie plopped onto her bed. Totally spent, her mind blown, her feet aching, her fingers numb, she stared at her ceiling. Faces blurred in her memory. Her stomach growled and she couldn’t remember when she’d last eaten or if she had put any food in her mouth since breakfast.

As exhausted as she was, as much as her muscles ached and groaned with each minute movement, she couldn’t sleep. Finally giving up on the elusive sandman, she crawled out of bed, shrugged into a dumpy terrycloth robe. She still reeled that Richard had turned out to be such a jerk. She wondered what she had ever seen in him.Good riddance !

She spied Leo’s tarot deck abandoned on her nightstand. It seemed to vibrate and call out to her, so after several moments, she picked it up and turned it over in her hands. Then she slipped it into her pocket.

Moonlight filtered in through the softly fluttering curtains, drawing Clestie’s gaze outside. She wondered where Leo the constellation was and how it should look.

Duh!Like a lion …

But exactly like a lion? Or just a vague resemblance using a lot of imagination? Clestie chewed her lower Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

lip, wondering how to recognize it and where to begin.

Her curiosity waking her up more, she turned on the computer and Googled a picture of the constellation. Not only did she find that, but also several panicked reports that the constellation seemed to be missing from the sky.

She read several frantic articles from everybody from scared grandmothers to pimple-faced teenage boys to bona fide scientists.

It couldn’t be… Her heart banged loudly against her ribs.

Frantically now, she clicked from one website to another. Each predicted doomsday, longer and louder than the last. The Leo constellation had disappeared. Even the official NASA website verified the strange phenomena. But no one knew what to make of it except that it seemed those unfortunate individuals ruled by the sun sign were running amok and felt lost and alone.

She printed out a star chart of Leo and tucked it into her pocket. Then she stole onto the roof.

She dusted off the old lounge chair Petunia had used to sun herself, and stretched out on it. Then she gazed up into the starlit night. The heavens seemed dim and dreary, especially for a Florida summer evening. Hoping that all the astrologers and doomsayers were wrong, or maybe just having a bad joke at public expense, she unfolded the star chart.

Not that she was an expert, but she couldn’t make out Leo in the heavens. Fright fluttered in her heart and her breathing became scant. Was she dreaming? Stressing out? What in the world—in the heavens—was going on?

This was too bizarre.

70 Heavenly Hijinks

Clestie started to hyperventilate and tried to calm herself with logic. The Greek gods weren’t real. They were just an entertaining myth to keep middle school kids and movie audiences entertained. They couldn’t be real gods. There was only one god and he reigned on high.

According to her father, only misguided souls sought guidance from the zodiac. No logical adult truly believed this nonsense. She snorted out a laugh. Obviously, her father would think a lot of illogical, misguided adults lived in her neighborhood and were all trying to get a piece of her Leo.

HerLeo?

She shook herself and sat up. She crossed her legs beneath her Indian style, and then she shuffled the cards, once, twice and a third time. She searched her tarot basics book and the various layouts and their purposes.

“Okay,” she murmured, trying to block out the memory of her father’s voice as he preached about the wickedness of such occult evils. “Keep it simple, stupid.” She started with the most basic, a simple three-card spread.

She settled the book facedown on the lounge and shuffled the cards one more time. She took one card off the top of the deck. Then she cut the deck about a third of the way down and took another card. She Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

laid it next to the first. And then she cut the deck almost at the bottom of the stack.

She frowned when she realized she wasn’t sure what to do next. So she flipped through the book and found a section entitled “What Question to Ask”. With interest she read,Ask any question that is important to you …what is closest to your heart.

She looked deep into herself to pick the question uppermost in her heart. First and foremost, if Leo could be the man for her.

She groaned aloud. It sounded so trite to ask about her love life, reminding her of when she was a precocious nine-year-old asking the Ouija board who she was going to marry. Truth be told, she’d always pushed the stylus to spell out Perry Mathews, a schoolmate she’d had a crush on throughout her elementary school years.

She didn’t believe in the Ouija board back then or she would have trusted it to move itself. Just like she didn’t believe in the tarot now, any more than she did in Leo’s astrology nonsense.

She stared at the three cards so long, her eyes crossed and the stars on the back of the cards started to spin.

“Oh, what the hell.” At least she didn’t believe, as her father had, that the cards embodied evil.

Officially, she asked her question aloud, “Am I meant to be with Leo?”

You hope it says yes, the little voice in the back of her mind niggled at her. She scrunched her nose and turned the number one card face up.

Okay, now she was more confused than before. As she did previously, she reread the explanation and found a glimmer of understanding. How did this relate to Leo?

71 Ashley Ladd

She tried to pull the main ideas out of all three cards to see if, as a whole, they answered her query. She massaged her sore neck and then rolled her head first to the right and then to the left. This was supposed to be fun? Enlightening?

So far, she showed none of the psychic spark Leo swore she possessed.

The roof door squeaked open and Clestie’s heart jolted. She bolted upright and grabbed the lapels of her robe to her throat. “What are you doing up here?”

“I heard someone moving about on the roof and thought I’d check it out.” Without awaiting invitation, Leo joined her and perched on the side of her lounger. His muscular thigh grazed hers and his hair swung out in a silky wave, caressing her arm.

The touch of his hot flesh scorched her and she sucked in a quick breath and scooted to the far side of the lounger, away from his mesmerizing touch. Trying to ignore the man beside her, she craned her neck and gazed at the heavens. “I can’t find Leo. Where should he be?”

The man chuckled ruefully in her ear. “I told you.I’mLeo and I’m here with you.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She slanted a glance at him. Could he really be on the level? She’d never heard anything crazier, but things pointed to the fact that it could be true.

She shook herself—hard. She couldn’t possibly for the teensiest, tiniest second think that a man could be a constellation and that said constellation could fall from the heavens into her bed.

She leveled a steady gaze on him. “What proof do you have?”

He pointed to the skies. “The lion constellation is gone and I’m here.”

“I’m here too, but that doesn’t mean I’m Leo.” She tried not to gaze at his very muscular, very naked chest or the swirls of golden hair around his nipples. But looking into his bright amber gaze was no less fraught with danger. His eyes captured her, sucked her in and tried to stake their claim on her.

Dang it! She wasn’t a lioness to be added to some pride with a bunch of other lionesses. And she wasn’t prey. At least noteasy prey…

“You’ve always been here. You belong here,” he answered her earlier statement.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and narrowed her eyes. “How do you know? I only took over ownership of this shop a short time before you arrived. Maybe I came from Alpha Centauri. The moon. Middle Earth.”

He grasped the hand closest to him and pulled it onto his lap and then turned her palm so that it faced upward. Then he stroked it and held it up to the moonlight. “You have a long life line, but it terminates, unlike that of a god’s.”

She snatched her hand back, not liking to be reminded of her mortality, no matter how far into the future it might be. Talk of death creeped her out.

He held his hand out to her in a nonthreatening manner. “Look at my hand. There are no lines.”

She was afraid to look so she averted her glance to look down over the now quiet, almost eerie street below. Long, shifting shadows loomed like gothic monsters and she

72 Heavenly Hijinks

shivered. Hugging herself, she rocked back and forth in her seat as visions of several horror flicks rampaged through her mind. “I’m not familiar with anatomy and physiology, so I wouldn’t know what to look for.” For all she knew, maybe he was Death on holiday and she was his next victim. That would make just about as much sense as his beingtheLeo.

“Don’t be afraid. Look.” He pushed his hand nearer to her nose.

She bit down on her lower lip and chanced a glance. When she saw a perfectly smooth, unlined hand, she gasped.

“See?”

She groped for explanation. “Maybe you were burned or had plastic surgery. Maybe it’s a genetic mutation.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo sighed and pulled back his hand. “Modern mortals are certainly a lot tougher audience than your primitive ancestors.”

“If you truly want to prove you’re a god, perform a miracle.” Parting the Red Sea would help convince her. Or parting the ocean on the Fort Lauderdale shores would do the trick.

He laughed dryly. “Zeus has stripped my powers. He wants to teach me a lesson. Besides, I don’t do miracles on command.” Negative energy vibrated from his every pore.

Refusing to show chagrin, Clestie held her chin high. “Then I guess we’re at an impasse.”

Shaking off her feelings of anger and suspicion, she gathered together the tarot cards and held them out to him. “I hope you don’t mind, but you left these in my room. I thought I’d try to learn how to read them.” When he didn’t respond, his eyes glittering like faceted topaz, she continued, “The customers may want us to read them and you can’t do everything at once.”

His expression softened a mite.

“Please teach me.” Hopeful, she pushed the deck closer to him.

His fingers slid against hers when he took the cards. “You have to believe they possess magical powers in order for them to work. Do you believe?”

A soft breeze kissed her cheeks as she looked deep inside herself and only found a tiny spark of faith. Did magic really exist? If it did, could it be found in mere cards? But for the sake of the business, to make an honest go of her aunt’s store, she needed the knowledge. “I want to. But there’s so much I can’t even begin to understand. How is astrology related to the tarot?”

She felt like she’d been sucked into a different reality. Her mind whirled with the alien thinking, reminding her of childhood visits with Petunia.

Leo drew a picture of the solar system on her notepad and colored in Earth. He turned it around to face her and tapped the paper. “They complement each other. Astrology expresses the basic aspects of your character and propensity, as illustrated by

73 Ashley Ladd

the celestial placements at the time of your birth.” He looked up at her and then drew a crude box and placed a stick figure inside. “The tarot shows your blueprint, the meaning and archetypes to which these placements predispose you, how your planets design your purpose and your passageway.”

Leo then removed the cards and quickly looked through them. He removed one and handed it to her. “This is the card associated with Scorpio.”

She turned it over and gulped. She stared at it several long seconds, morbid thoughts racing through her mind before she finally rasped, “The death card?”

Leo took it from her hand and held it up. “It’s not what you think. It doesn’t mean death as in the end of life.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She breathed a small sigh of relief. “So what does it mean?”

“You’re thinking of death as in departure from this plane of existence. But we experience many little deaths along our path.”

“We do?” Perplexed, she spread her hands wide.

“Not death of the body, but the end of one phase of our life or the end of a project. The purpose is to teach us how to let go and go on. The Death card is a reminder to release what no longer serves your purpose.”

Although she’d never thought of change and renewal asdeath, his explanation made sense. “Okay.”

“We have to change to be stable. This is the secret of life mortals need to accept in order to evolve. Unfortunately, change is not a human favorite.”

Mortals? Would she ever get used to his strange manner of thought and speech? Sometimes she found it charming, but this rubbed her the wrong way and she bristled.

He looked her squarely in the eye. “Youare fighting change. You must change in order to survive, to thrive. You must learn new things and endure the trials sent your way. You must learn to be flexible as the pine tree and strong as the rock. A Scorpio’s work is to release yourself from stagnant relationships.”

Did he mean Richard? If so, he must know that was long dead and buried. Or did he mean her dance career which had come to a blinding, excruciating halt?

He placed the card face up on the lounge between them and clasped her hands in his. “You must reflect on what needs to be changed in your life. You must find the strength to implement the change if you wish to be happy. Perhaps it will help if you remember that death is a vital, inescapable part of life.”

He picked up the full deck and shuffled it. He held the cards for a few moments and then shuffled them again. “I can feel power emanating from them. I draw from it and it from me. Readings bring comfort and provides clarity when I am clouded with confusion.”

In awe, she stared at his hands, at the roughly curling golden hair on his fingers, at how gently he cradled the cards. Tarot cards shouldn’t look so at home in such masculine hands, but they did.

74 Heavenly Hijinks

He looked up at her with eyes such a clear amber she felt as if she gazed into the noonday sun. “Through meditation the ability to access the guiding voice of your intuition becomes stronger and the constant flow of messages and images becomes clearer and easier to understand. As you work more and more with the cards, you will develop your own special relationship with them.”

“Uh-huh.” She regarded the cards with suspicion. “Is this fortune-telling?”

“No. It’s an ancient form of counseling. Readings capture the essence of the moment as experienced by the client. It picks up on influences—lessons from their past—showing possibilities for the future. Tarot reading must be treated with respect and absolute humility.”

He gazed up at the heavens and sadness misted his eyes. “The majority of people consult the cards in Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

times of confusion or distress which puts great responsibility on a reader’s shoulders. Right now, I can feel the pain and anguish of all my charges. They’re calling out to me for help, but other than the few I can touch through your shop, I find myself helpless to ease their suffering.”

She moved closer, and folded her hand over his with a gentle squeeze. She tried to ignore the frisson of awareness that shot up her arm this time, and every time, they chanced to touch.

“Let me explain a few basics you will need to know before you begin your journey of interpreting the tarot.” He proceeded to go into a lengthy, involved explanation.

Her head spun with the information dump. She gazed at him with glazed eyes. “I don’t know if I can remember all this.”

“Okay. That’s a lot to remember for the first lesson. The best way to learn is to watch a couple of times and then just jump in and do it. But let me show you a more powerful spread than the three card layout you were using. It’s called the Celtic Cross.”

“Okay…” Clestie felt as if she needed a tape recorder. She’d check the internet, and if all else failed, she’d visit the public library to check out more instruction books on the tarot.

“To get a good reading, you will need to gather information similar to that needed for an astrological reading—sex, date of birth, astrological sign, favorite color and favorite season.”

Perplexed, Clestie screwed up her nose and then wished she hadn’t when his gaze intensified on her movement. “What do color and season have to do with it?”

“First, tell me your favorite color, before I cloud your judgment with their meanings.” He flexed his magnificent shoulders.

Hardly able to breathe when he moved with such grace and power, she peered up at the beautiful nighttime sky, midnight blue with lighter shades of aqua and violet streaming through it. “Violet.”

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“Color’s very important.” He smiled softly. “Violet indicates artistic talent, creativity, hypersensitivity, alienation and the highest wisdom. Violet also meansloveand kindness.”

The sexy way he emphasizedlove made her pussy tingle and she tried to suppress her squirming. She cursed the full moon’s brightness for showing her every tiny movement and also probably highlighting her mortified expression.

“Okay, let me do a reading for you.” He turned toward her and crossed his legs Indian style on the end of the lounge. His powerful thighs brushed hers.

Tingling from the contact, she scooted back to give him room to lay out the cards. Then she tucked her own legs beneath her and rested her arms on her knees as the night breeze provided a bit of relief from her sudden rise in temperature.

He saucily winked at her and ran a gentle finger along the length of her jaw. “Take a few moments to reflect on the issues you want to explore before I perform your reading. Frame questions in a clear, simple and unambiguous way. If you have two questions, such as two different paths to follow, ask two Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

separate questions and I’ll do two individual readings. Then we’ll compare the results.”

Shivering now, and not from any cool night breeze, Clestie gulped. She’d been trying to get back on a professional footing with him, but he was making it impossible.

“Remember, it’s counterproductive to address the same issue or question with more than one reading. In actual fact it is always your first reading for any issue that will be the most accurate.”

Okay, so that would save time with the customers.

“You’re at a crucial crossroads,” Leo whispered huskily, as he leaned forward and teased her lips in a light, breathy kiss. Then he lay on top of her on the lounger, scattering the cards.

She could barely move, her breath escaping in tiny puffs. His hair fanned out about her as if ensnaring her in his web. It gleamed silver under the nighttime sky as if spun by the moon.

His musky scent filled her, made her dizzy, and despite his weight on top her, she felt as if she was floating among the wispy clouds meandering overhead.

A card dug into her back, keeping her from fully slipping off the edge of reality. She squirmed and tried to lift her hips enough to remove it. “Isn’t it bad luck to lie on the cards?” They were probably bent and wrinkled by now.

Leo nibbled her lower lip and sucked it into his mouth. Then he murmured huskily as his cock flexed against her stomach, “Oh, I don’t know. I feel pretty lucky right now. I’m here with you…like this.”

But he rolled off and knelt beside her. When she sat up, he gathered the cards, and reverently returned them to their case. Then he rose before her, his shadow sliding over her, enveloping her as if he was consuming her soul.

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She shivered, but it was a warm and welcome shudder. When he held out a hand to her, she slipped hers into it without reservation. It felt so small, yet so vibrant and alive in his. Energy crackled and sizzled in their touch, and skipped up her arm, to her heart and down into her pussy.

He cupped her face between his hands and tilted it up. He gazed down into her eyes with a burning intensity as the rugged pads of his thumbs traced her jawline and then the curve of her lips. Lowering his lips until they were a hairsbreadth away, he murmured, “You’re so very breathtaking. So sweet.” He pulled her to him and tucked her against his heart. “Addictive.”

She parted her lips and sucked in his breath, savoring it, memorizing his taste. She leaned closer and closed the gap between them. Pressing her lips to his, she licked and teased. She swayed with him as if part of the sultry breeze and when his tongue met hers, she opened wide.

Softly, sensually, they moved together, their tongues mating and their hips grinding to the distant music of the crashing surf. The city lights twinkled like candlelight.

When he loosened the belt of her robe she stretched her arms high and let him push the thick covering to the ground. Their kiss deepened and she rubbed provocatively against his cock. Moaning into his mouth, she wound her fingers through his glorious hair. Against his moist lips, she murmured, “What have you Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

done to me, Leo? Did you and Aunt Petunia conspire to turn my life upside down?”

Leo’s large hands kneaded her waist, leaving a hot trail of desire in their wake. Her silky gown crinkled in his hands as he stepped back and grabbed a fistful of material and pulled the filmy garment over her head, freeing her breasts to his ravenous gaze.

Her nipples beaded into little buds and he caught her about her waist. When he lowered his mouth and nipped one, it became a conduit of exquisite energy. She arched back and pushed her breast deeper into his mouth.

He pulled back and bathed her breast with long, languorous sweeps of his tongue under the heavy globe, then up and around her nipple, but avoiding the most pleasurable point.

He cupped her pussy and kneaded, ripping a gasp from her. The earth rumbled and she writhed against his hand. She pulled his head closer and held it captive.

Off balance in so many ways, she easily tipped back onto the lounger when he leaned into her. Eager to be one with him body and soul, she pushed down his pajama bottoms and was gratified when his cock sprung out and nestled into her pussy, pushing insistently against her clit.

Wonderful sensations shot through her.

She slid her fingers around his cock and ran the pad of her thumb over the large head.

His seed seeped out and she massaged it into his already silky flesh. She rubbed the loose velvety folds between her fingers as his wiry curls tickled her wrist.

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Leo feathered kisses on her forehead, down to the tip of her nose and then teased her lips. “Are you sure you’re not a goddess?”

She was no longer sure of anything. Wrapped in the ecstasy of his arms, she felt like a celestial being. She soared past the clouds, into the heavens and beyond. Against his lips she murmured, “I don’t know anything anymore.”

“If not a goddess, then a nymph. Most assuredly a siren.” He pushed himself up from her, his powerful arms straining. The tip of his cock just grazed her pussy. His searching gaze probed her eyes. “What exactly don’t you know?”

It was impossible to think straight when her entire body had morphed into one gigantic hormone, when she quaked with ragged desire.

A hard, driving beat permeated the night and surrounded them, the same beat that shook her walls from early morning ‘til late evening, but never before so late at night. It was much lower in volume and yet the vibrations were just as insidious. She doubted her neighbor was holding midnight class…unless it was a veryprivateclass. A grin curving her lips, she chuckled. “I don’t think we’re the only ones enjoying the night.”

Leo flashed a dazzling, knowing smile toward the source of the sound. “I hope not. ‘Tis a night for love and lovers. We’re in a house of romance.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

When she frowned, he continued, “Leo is full of romance.”

And she would have blamed it on the gorgeous, almost full summer moon. Her skepticism rolled off her tongue, “Do Leos have a monopoly on love?”

“We embrace love, cherish it and never take it for granted. To us, it is far more than mere passion.” He lowered himself onto her and his cock nestled against her pussy, stroking her clit once again.

“Since I’m a passionate Scorpio, I have no romance in my soul? I’m not a match for a Leo? Sexually maybe, but nothing deeper?”

The thought poured over her like ice water. Then she chided herself. She didn’t believe in this zodiac or tarot nonsense. Leo wasn’t her star-crossed soul mate. Leo didn’t mean anything to her.

Liar!

The angel on her shoulder shook a shameful finger at her.

Suddenly not a big fan of angels, Clestie grimaced.Shush ! So she didn’t want Leo to mean anything to her. By his own admission, he’d soon be just a sweet, steamy memory. That didn’t mean her feelings were real.

Leo wrapped his arms tighter about her and rocked with her gently. “Ah, but you are not pure Scorpio. True, Scorpio ‘tis your sun sign, but you have Leo in your moon. Be assured, romance burns in your soul. It just needs to be awakened.” He punctuated his final words with kisses.

Writhing, she stretched her legs wider. She tilted her hips and hugged his cock between her thighs. She moved to the music, willing him to join her.

“My passionate little Scorpio is eager.”

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Ravenous—verging on desperate—she ground her hips against his in unmistakable invitation. A primitive growl rumbled in her throat. “We might only have tonight. Let’s not ruin it arguing over our signs.”

“Ah, but weareour signs—and so very much more.”

With a powerful thrust of his hips, he drove so deeply into her she cried out and clung to him. They fell into rhythm with the hard pounding beat next door and she was truly transported to another world.

She clawed at his shoulders, her fingers sliding against his sweat-slicked flesh. Her hips pounded the lounge.

She buried her face against his furry chest and surfed the crashing waves of desire. They slammed against her ribs, swelled in her heart and threatened to drown her in their tumultuous fury. Quaking, on the brink of crashing over the edge of oblivion, she pushed harder, gasping and moaning.

He began to stroke faster than the beat, and the tidal wave consumed her. Her scream of pure ecstasy ripped through the night, ignored by the placid moon. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Out of breath, panting, wave after wave of glorious pleasure rippled through her pussy, making it clench and unclench hungrily around his cock.

Leo plundered her lips and drank deeply as he pounded furiously into her.

He thrust deeper and deeper until she was sure their souls were one and their hearts united. Then with one final plunge, he erupted and clung to her, shivering. He cradled her to his chest, his breathing as raw and ragged as hers.

Soft raindrops splattered on Clestie’s arm and she opened her eyes wide to find the moon obscured by cloudy, threatening skies. More drops of water plopped on them and she let out a mew of protest, not wishing to leave Leo’s warm arms.

She nudged him. “We’re about to get drenched. It’s time to go inside.”

Leo lifted a brow and chuckled. “Are you scared of a little rain?”

“We have to get up early. We have another big day ahead of us.”

He rolled to his side, forcing her to do the same on the small space. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently. “I can face anything with you by my side.”

Her heart melted and a sugar rush went to her head.Shoot ! He was much too sweet and charming for her good. Why was he making her fall in love with him when he knew he couldn’t stay?

It was a recipe for heartbreak. No wonder she’d never liked to cook.

* * * * *

Each day brought a new group of clients seeking Leo’s guidance. Clestie and Elizabeth started secretly rating them as if they were on a reality TV show, grading them on originality, sincerity and the “crazy factor”. With each new day, the insanity level increased.

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Clestie awoke in fits and spurts beside Leo and rubbed the sleep from her eyes and her day-old mascara onto her fists. She frowned at the makeup she’d forgotten to remove when Leo had taken her so forcefully to his bed. She couldn’t help but smile at the luscious memory.

He snoozed so peacefully, she hated to wake him, so she rolled out of bed as quietly as possible. She tiptoed to the shower down the hall off her bedroom and forced herself awake with a cold shower.

Daily, Leo taught Clestie more about the science of astrology and the art of interpreting the tarot. She sat close by his side when he analyzed star charts and soaked in as much knowledge as her brain would hold. She found it difficult not to feather kisses across his shoulders, up his neck and over his face in the many hours patrons filled the shop. Sometimes she rubbed her leg against his under the table or slipped off her shoes and played footsie with him.

Today, when Elizabeth opened the door the crowd smashed in. She stumbled against the counter, rattling several of the glass jars lining the shelves above her. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

A jar toppled off the high shelf over Elizabeth’s head and with her heart in her throat, Clestie pointed at the deadly missile and yelled, “Watch out! Incoming!”

Elizabeth ducked and closed her eyes. She covered her head and then winced when the jar shattered. She shook her head and muttered, “I swear I’m going to glue the suckers down.”

The swell of humanity almost suffocated Clestie, but she tried to focus on the individuals and how she could help them. As she got to know them, they seemed like family. She honestly began to care for them.

She was most intrigued by a svelte professionally dressed woman who called herself Deborah, who held her head regally and smiled with calm reassurance. They’d assigned her a nine and a half, their highest rating yet. Only a small tic by Deborah’s right eye belied her agitation.

This morning Deborah stood patiently, second in line. She frowned down at her watch and shifted her weight on her high-heeled feet several times as she always did when she was afraid she’d be late to work.

Clestie whispered in Leo’s ear, allowing herself a little nip of his lobe with a little grin, “Deborah’s in a hurry. Can you rush?”

Leo turned a stern gaze on her and whispered back. “Every person deserves my undivided attention. Deborah will get her turn as soon as I’ve finished helping Mr. Borsh.”

Okay, so Leo was right, but she also knew Mr. Borsh was happily retired and could wait ‘til later in the day for his daily advice. His pay didn’t depend on the nine-to-five world, but came in a fat pension check. So she tossed a rueful smile at the working woman.

Clestie focused on Leo’s treatment of Mr. Borsch, learning all she could. In between taking Leo’s dictation, she jotted down meticulous notes to use the day Leo left her

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employ. Her heart ached at the constant reminder of his imminent departure, and she prayed he’d change his mind and stay with her. But her realistic Scorpio nature demanded she be ready for all eventualities.

Leo turned to her and paused. “What do you make of this?”

She leaned forward and squinted at the King of Cups. “May I use my book?” Her goal was to memorize every tarot card meaning, to memorize everything about each zodiac sign and then to learn the nuances, but she had a long way to reach that proficiency level.

Leo shook his head. “Try to remember. Use your gut instinct.”

Fear pulsed in her heart as she stared at the card. It was the King of Cups. What did she know about kings? Sovereign rulers, they were in charge. They led their people. But they were still men with very real emotions and feelings.

Emotions and feelings… Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Bingo! Her memory flashed back in spurts.

“The nature of the cups is to experience feelings and emotions. It represents water and feelings.” She drummed her fingers on the table, trying to remember more and growing frustrated when the new knowledge eluded her.

Leo cast a charitable smile her way and came to her rescue. “The King of Cups represents a person who is repressing their feelings and is experiencing conflicting emotions. He or she dreams of being able to succeed in the world. They want closeness but fear being contained by the commitment that comes with it. Thus they often remain detached from anything but their own feelings. They dream big, but they have a lot of drive and ambition. They’re very intelligent.”

Mr. Borsch jutted out his jaw and sat up very straight. He puffed out his chest and flashed his new shiny veneers.

“He is very concerned with worldly accomplishments—too much so.” Leo peered down his nose at the man.

Two bright spots of color flared in Mr. Borsh’s cheeks and he averted his eyes. His chest sunk in and his shoulders drooped. “I—uh—have been pretty obsessed with my new Harley. The missus has been on my case about ignoring her.”

Leo nodded. “So you’ve been emotionally distant with your wife?”

Mr. Borsh hung his head. “Guess so. Not too good of me, is it?”

Leo shook his head. “Now that you realize this, you can fix it. What are you going to do?”

Mr. Borsh tugged and twisted his dangling skull earring. “Guess I could get her ringside tickets to the big wrestling match she’s been dying to catch. Maybe I could take her for a spin on my hog.”

Impressed, Clestie listened intently. Leo seemed more like a counselor than a fortune-teller.

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Mr. Borsh fiercely pumped Leo’s hand and then Clestie’s. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow and letting you know how it went.”

Clestie stood and followed the elderly biker to the front door. “Did you know we sell tarot cards? You could read your own.”

The man stopped and turned to her. He peered down and wiggled his wiry salt-and-pepper brows. “You trying to get rid of me?”

Aghast, Clestie felt heat creep up her neck and settle in her cheeks. “Of course not.” She lowered her voice. “I thought it might save you a bit of money. And provide a bit of fun.”

“Pshaw! I get my fun by coming here and gazing at your pretty face. Seeing you and that young buck pretending you don’t have the hots for each other. Reminds me of me and the missus when were young and hot to trot.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie almost swallowed her tongue as her cheeks blazed. She couldn’t help but glance over at Leo and found him sneaking a glance at her.

The man chuckled. “Yep. Just like I said. If I were younger, I’d fight him for you.” He patted the bald spot on his shiny head and then his rotund stomach pushing out his black leather biker’s jacket. “But I done lost all my handsome hair and put on a few pounds. I blame all them donuts the missus makes me buy.”

Clestie leaned forward and planted a kiss on Mr. Borsh’s weathered cheek. His thick white whiskers scratched her lips and she smiled at the tickle. “You’re adorable. Don’t stop coming to visit us—ever.”

Mr. Borsh giggled and a cherry-red stain infused his pale cheeks. “If the missus don’t go locking me up for spending so much time here.”

“Bring her with you.” Clestie wondered what Mr. Borsh’s match would look like? Short and stout like a cute little set of salt and pepper shakers? Or tall and svelte, like the opposite of Jack Sprat and his wife?

He clucked his tongue. “If she ever wakes before noon. She stays up all night on that internet of hers playing spelling games online or chatting with her friends in Australia.”

Leo crooked his finger for her to return and then pointed at his watch as Deborah smoothed her linen skirt beneath her and folded herself into the chair across from him. The early morning sun danced in his hair and lent a golden sheen to his skin.

Her nerves zinged into overdrive and Clestie wished she could boot everybody out and lock the doors so she could ravish him. She counted the impossibly long hours until the end of the business day. She felt like pouring a glass of ice water over her head to keep from combusting every time she looked at, thought about, or touched Leo. Heck, maybe she should strap a fire extinguisher to her back.

“We’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning then.” She wiggled her fingers in a ta-ta motion.

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Elizabeth stuffed the rest of her powdered donut into her mouth. Through a mouthful of the goo, she yelled as she jumped up from her chair and waved her sign. “Wait! If you’re a Leo, you get a free donut for your birthday.”

Clestie’s forehead furrowed and she mouthed from behind Mr. Borsh, “What are you doing?”

Mr. Borsh stroked his bushy beard and meandered closer. He jerked a thumb behind him at Leo. “Leo there been talking out of turn?”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “He wouldn’t tell me your private business. I’m just asking everybody. Now, if you’re a Leo and you want a donut, I’ll need to see proof of your birthday.”

Mr. Borsch peered down his nose at her but dug in his jacket pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flashed his license and pointed at the date. “Lookie there. See, I was born August second, nineteen hundred and…never mind.”

Elizabeth coyly batted her lashes. “I sawnothing.” She held the donut box up under his nose. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

The birthday boy prodded around and finally grabbed a cream-filled pastry. “The missus never buys this type. Says they’ll clog my arteries.” He harrumphed. “All donuts clog arteries. While she’s on that internet of hers, she should look up dieting and health instead of yakking all the night long while her muscles atrophy from disuse.”

Elizabeth waggled her white sugary fingers. “See you tomorrow!”

When the door closed firmly behind Mr. Borsh, Clestie hissed, “What’s all this?”

“Bait. I’m taking inventory of our clients. I’ll bet you at least ninety percent are Leos.”

“That’s crazy!”

Elizabeth tapped the end of her fountain pen on her tick sheet. “You’ll see. I’m keeping track. Something fishy’s going on.”

Clestie darted sidelong glances around the room. “Keep me informed.”

Aware that Leo watched her every move, Clestie sashayed back to her chair and sat across from their client. She did her best to focus on Deborah and admonished her nerves to stop zipping and zapping about every time Leo made the smallest twitch. All he had to do was breathe to get her excited all over again. What if she was sitting next to a bona fide god?

Deborah unfolded her astrological reading and held it out to Clestie. “I don’t understand. This doesn’t seem to fit my situation. I’d like clarification.”

Clestie accepted the papers and looked from them to her client. “Any section in particular?” The reading was several pages thick and she only vaguely recalled the gist.

Small creases dented Deborah’s forehead, ruining her flawlessly made-up face. She leaned over and tapped the pages with a finger. “The section about my career. I’ve turned down the corner of the page.”

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Clestie flipped the pages and skimmed the verbiage. Then she read it aloud for Leo’s benefit. “You may find yourself in an environment that demands an extreme effort, possibly pushing you to your limits. Unfortunately, the drive to produce high volume may be detrimental to the quality of your work. Take a careful look and refuse to let yourself be guilted into doing too much. Your health may be at risk. Don’t sacrifice quality for quantity.”

In general, the advice sounded solid, so Clestie tried to read between the lines. That advice could apply to her as well.

Leo leaned back in his chair and regarded Deborah at length. Finally he sat up straight and folded his hands atop the table. Like a psychologist, he asked, “What doyoumake of it?”

Deborah sighed and swiped at an imaginary stray hair even though she had a perfectly coiled chignon. “It sounds like it came out of someone else’s fortune cookie.” She leaned forward and her eyes darkened. “I’m up for a very big promotion. I have to show that I can put in the hours and hard work. I have to produce now more than ever if I want a shot. I can’t pull back, and that’s whatthis ,” she angrily batted the pages as fire flashed from her normally placid eyes, “seems to be telling me to do.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo frowned and looked at Clestie. “Please read it aloud again for me.” He leaned back in his chair and linked his hands behind his head. Staring sightlessly at the ceiling, he listened intently as Clestie did so. When she’d finished, he pursed his lips for several moments. Finally, he said in a reverberating voice, “’Tis quite clear. You are going after something that is not to your benefit and is most probably to your detriment, however much you may desire it. Should you stay in pursuit, you risk your health.”

Deborah paled and her hands clenched. She glared long and hard at Leo. After several pregnant moments, she massaged her neck and asked, “How can you be sure? Maybe this just means I shouldn’t exercise so hard, that I should cut out my night classes. Maybe I should put that time toward work.”

Leo bristled and brought his chair down with a resounding bang. “It speaks of work and quality of work. I strongly advise against working harder. ‘Tis time to let go and pull back.”

Deborah scraped her chair back and stood suddenly, her breath coming in short, violent gasps. “Excuse me if I don’t agree. My career is everything to me. I’ve worked my fingers to the bone to get this chance and I’m not going to blow it now.”

Leo stood and Clestie wanted to pull him down, but she remained seated. She also wanted to know how Leo could be so sure. “I am merely interpreting the chart…”

“Perhaps your analysis is off.” Deborah slung her purse over her shoulder and clutched the straps. “We will have to agree to disagree.”

Leo bowed even as his forehead puckered. “I do not offer this advice lightly. I am here to help you, and this is a clear and precise warning.”

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Clestie’s heart thudded. This was getting out of hand. She stood and smiled at the pair facing off. “Leo, may I have a word with you?In private,please .” She glanced at their client. “Will you excuse us for a sec?”

Deborah checked her watch and frowned. “If I don’t leave now, I’ll be late for work.”

Clestie stepped forward and shook the woman’s hand. “Please accept our apologies. There’s no fee for today.”

Deborah nodded and marched out with her head held high.

Leo turned on Clestie and raked his fingers through his hair. Anger flashed in his topaz eyes. His voice boomed out, “Why did you undermine me? Now she will not take my advice seriously.”

The hairs on the back of Clestie’s neck stood on end as she angrily fisted her hands on her hips. “Maybe if you remembered that it’s onlyadvice , there wouldn’t be a problem. Instead, you act like your word is law, like you prophesy the god’s honest truth.”

Thunder flashed in his eyes and he swept his hair away from his face with a grand gesture. His voice reverberated through the tiny shop as if it boomed down from Mt. Olympus. “Iam agod !”

Brimming over with frustrated fury, Clestie jabbed her finger into Leo’s chest and poked him until he Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

backed against the wall. “Well, that’s the problem. You’re being a big obnoxious bully. Even if you are the real Leo, give us mere imperfect little mortals some breathing space, a little room to run our own lives. We’ve been doing pretty well these past few thousand years since you left.”

Leo snorted and his nostrils flared. The skies darkened outside, the light filtering through the windows dimmed and the shop grew eerier than usual. Lightning flashed and thunder shook the ground so fiercely that the jars rattled and clinked as they skipped toward the lip of their shelves. “You call your civilization good ? Open your pretty little eyes and look around.” He swept his arms far and wide. “You’ve polluted your world. You’re cynical, sarcastic and exhausted from overwork because of the pursuit of success. You worship the almighty dollar instead of the higher deities. You don’t believe in yourselves, yet you don’t believe in the gods so you’re floundering.”

Clestie digested his harsh words, but couldn’t deny the ring of truth. Still, all his wisdom and conceit didn’t make him an almighty, know-it-all being. “Okay, so we’re not perfect like you.” She took her turn to harrumph and took another step closer. “You’re soperfect that you were sleeping on the beach using a rock for a pillow. We should all be soperfect .”

Some of the fury seemed to ooze out of him as his shoulders drooped and his voice lost its furious edge. “I already explained, I made a serious error and Zeus is punishing me…”

“Gods can make mistakes? I thought you wereperfect ?”

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A self-deprecating chuckle escaped his lips and he tucked his hair behind his ears. Simultaneously, the black clouds rolled back from the skies so that the sun burned bright and clear overhead, illuminating the shop with a rainbow of brilliant colors. “No one ever called Zeus perfect—behind his back.”

The skies clouded again and a lightning bolt came through the ceiling and exploded at Leo’s feet.

Frightened, her heart banging so furiously it felt as though it was about to burst, Clestie jumped back and fell into the crowd huddled behind her as if she could save them from the immortals. Then she slid onto her derriere.

Several people helped her to her feet, shaky as she still was. Many others gaped open-mouthed.

Leo stomped out the fire and then shook his fist in the air. “Well, it’s true, Father, and you know it.” Then he swaggered over to Clestie, examined her closely, and dusted her off. “Well, do you believe me now?”

Clestie swallowed hard and stared at the tendrils of smoke still rising from the charred floor. “It’s all true, isn’t it? Everything you’ve told us.”

Leo flung his hands high in the air and stomped off, muttering, “Finally!”

The next person in the long, ragged line gasped and ran after Leo pleading, “I believe in you, too. Don’t desert us. We need you.”

Reeling from the realization, Clestie staggered to the front door and whispered to her cousin, “I need some fresh air. You’re in charge.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Elizabeth jumped off her stool and raced to the door. “You can’t go out there with all that lightning! Florida’s the deadliest place in the world for lethal lightning strikes.”

Clestie turned and pointed to the evidence of the inside strike. “One, Florida’s only the second place now, and two, I’m not any safer inside than out.” Oh god, she’d been pissing off the head god. Was there anyplace safe to hide?

She feared not in this universe or the next.

She grabbed one of Elizabeth’s donuts and stuffed it in her mouth. Through the food she muttered, “Don’t choke on all the testosterone flying around in here. Don’t let him bully you too much.”

As she tried to push past the crowd largely comprised of tae kwon do students from the studio next door, her way was blocked by a giant, horribly stinky camel. The creature ambled clumsily forward and as if not seeing her or not caring that she blocked its path, pushed her back inside, then sneezed wetly in her face.

Disgusted, Clestie blinked and recoiled. She swiped the snot off and wiped her hands down the length of her jeans. “What’s going on now?”

Karly stepped around the animal and wrapped several lengths of its leather leash tighter around her hand. She crowded their way inside the shop, forcing Clestie to back up. “Where’s Leo?”

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Clestie’s blood boiled and she screamed to her cousin, “Call the cops.” To the lunatic woman, she said breathlessly, “You can’t bring that animal in here.” Curiosity made her add, “Where’d you get it?”

Several kids dressed in their tae kwon do uniforms trailed in behind the camel and circled around. They patted its face and touched its hump with awe on their faces. One little guy exclaimed, “Awesome!”

Karly chortled and led the huffing, snorting humpbacked steed into the center of the store and motioned the children to stay back. Then she narrowed her gaze on Clestie. “From where do you think? The zoo.” The woman snorted. “Like camels roam around the streets of Fort Lauderdale.”

Elizabeth approached warily, staying a good foot behind Clestie. “Whydid you steal the camel?”

Karly treated them to a haughty, deadly glare. “Iborrowed Pamela here. That’s if shewants to go back to that stuffy, smelly confinement.”

Pamela? Was that the creature’s real name? She didn’t look like aPamela .

Clestie echoed, “Why?” Under her breath, through clenched teeth, she muttered in an aside to her cousin, “Get Leo.”

Elizabeth scuttled away, giving wide berth to the long-legged beast. With a worried frown she glanced over her shoulder several times.

Karly stroked Pamela’s long nose. “Because I need her milk. Don’t you know that camel’s milk is the elixir of youth? When I smooth it on my face, I’ll look thirty years younger.” Karly peered closely at Clestie. “You could use some yourself, sister.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie’s hand fisted and ached to repay the compliment. “I’ve never heard of that.” And if it was miraculously true, she didn’t think a mere thirty years would begin to help Karly. “So why bring Pamela here? Why do you want Leo?”

Karly rolled her heavily lined eyes. “For his blessing, of course. Don’t you knowanything ?”

Clestie twisted her lips. “What do I know? I’m just an imperfect mortal.”

Leo joined her. He whispered in her ear, “Enough of that. We’ll talk in more depth after this is dealt with.” He raised his gaze to Karly’s. “How may I help?”

Karly bowed low as if worshipping the man in front of her. “Oh, most exalted Leo, please bless me and Pamela, that her milk may restore my youthful beauty.”

Leo lifted one brow and bent to help the woman up. “Rise, my dear lady. I have not the power you seek.”

Karly’s jaw dropped and tears welled in her eyes. “But you’re Leo, god of beauty and pride, youth and glory.”

Leo put gentle hands on Karly’s shoulders and gazed intently into her eyes. “And what makes you think you’re not beautiful? Not worthy?”

Karly’s eyes widened and her lips parted without sound. After several moments, a tear splashed onto her cheek and she touched her weathered flesh. “All these no-good

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wrinkles, for one.” Then she underlined her eyes with her fingertip. “And these big puffy bags under my eyes.” Lastly she fingered her hair. “Underneath all this goop and dye is a head full of gray hair. I’m drying up and turning into a pillar of salt.That’swhy.”

Leo released her shoulders and slid a finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. “You have a grand beauty that comes with wisdom and years of knowing love. Let it shine forth. ‘Tis worth far more than the superficial beauty you seek.”

Karly blinked rapidly and swiped away the tears hovering on her lashes. “Are you for real?”

Leo nodded and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “I never lie. I only say what I mean.”

Clestie’s heart melted as she watched Leo deal with Karly, and she was ready to forgive him his earlier bossiness. She stepped up and laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. She smiled warmly up at him and whispered, “That was wonderful. Thank you.”

Leo squeezed her hand and kept it tightly inside his own. He rubbed her knuckles with the pad of his thumb. “Let me help you return Pamela to her home.”

Karly nodded and turned to the camel with new tears brimming in her eyes. “I’m going to miss you, girl. You and me made a powerful connection.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

The animal blew a gentle breath in Karly’s face and made a soft mewing sound.

The kids oohed and ahhed and Clestie joined them.

A commotion broke loose outside and her patrons parted as if they were the Red Sea. The door rattled and the bells tinkled ominously overhead.

Clestie glanced toward the door and moaned as her hand rose to clutch her throat. “What now?”

A wild-eyed man in a zookeeper’s uniform rushed in. He whipped out a tranquilizer gun that looked as if it would put an elephant to sleep, and squarely placed Karly in his sights. His spiky hair stood on end and his face glowed a bright scarlet. “Freeze! Put your hands high in the air. You’re all under citizen’s arrest.”

The martial arts students all raised their hands high in the air. Their eyes widened into round saucers. The littlest boy’s lips trembled and his body shook.

Clestie’s heart went out to the kids even as she bristled at the nerve of the man. “You’re crazy! They’re just children.”

The zookeeper swung around so that she was now in his sights. Sweat beaded on his brow. “Be quiet and don’t move or I’ll shoot.”

Pamela spit and snapped at the zookeeper who cocked his weapon.

Leo stepped in front of Clestie, and put out his hand. “What do you think you’re doing?” In an aside to her, Leo muttered, “The longer I’m out of control, the more insane my Leo-born babies are growing.” He cocked his head at the totally out-of-control officer. “Point proven.”

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“My job. This suspect,” he pointed at Karly, “heisted that camel from the zoo and you’re all accomplices. I’ve called the cops and they’ll be here any moment. I’m putting you under citizen’s arrest.”

“I was just going to help her return the camel.” Leo puffed out his chest and held Clestie’s hand so tight he almost broke the delicate bones in her fingers.

In acute pain, Clestie tried to pull away and peep around Leo’s biceps. “She wandered in here about fifteen minutes ago and the kids were just curious. We called the police for help, too, so how are we accomplices?” Behind him she spied the tae kwon do master peering through the window with a huge frown.

“He just admitted he was going to help her.” The zookeeper held his gun with one hand and pulled out a set of handcuffs with the other. “Hold out your hands—slowly. And no funny business.”

When Karly and the kids complied shakily the zookeeper cuffed the smallest child first.

Clestie’s muscles tensed and she spat out in disbelief, “He’s just a kid. You are nuts!”

Elizabeth drawled laconically, “I betcha anything he’s a Leo.” She smiled prettily at the zookeeper. “When’s your birthday?” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“Huh?” The man looked at Elizabeth as if she’d grown three heads as he cuffed the camel’s legs to the bar beneath the counter.

“When were you born?”

Leo looked the man up and down and with a wince, he said, “He’s one of mine. His birthday is August thirteenth.”

Clestie stared from Leo to the zookeeper whose jaw dropped wide. Not very long ago, she’d been in denial about Leo, so she sympathized. “How’d you know?”

Leo glanced down at Clestie and gave her a small, sure smile. “I have my ways.”

Karly piped up. “He’s Leo. He knows everything.”

Elizabeth muttered, “Except how to get himself home.”

Leo shot a surly glare to her cousin.

Elizabeth shrugged prettily and murmured, “Well, it’s true.”

Clestie almost swallowed her tongue when the tae kwon do master pushed the door open very slowly, very quietly and slipped inside. She nodded almost imperceptibly when her neighbor put a shushing finger to his lips. Hope warred with dread in her heart. If the crazed zookeeper saw the newcomer first, it could trigger chaos. But if someone didn’t intervene, a massacre could surely ensue.

Clestie nudged Leo in the ribs and whispered without moving her lips, “Keep him distracted.”

Leo’s glance slid to the side and he nodded with a friendly, reassuring smile. Then he used his best measured counselor voice, “I have a talent for knowing birthdays. No

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funny stuff involved.” Leo took a small step forward and held out his hand. “I can feel your pain. Permit me to assist.”

Clestie’s heart banged against her ribs with fright and she wanted to yell at Leo to stop and to pull him back. But she dare not worsen the volatile situation. She tried not to look in the tae kwon do master’s direction lest she give away his presence, but she couldn’t help but glance with her peripheral vision.

“You stay away from me. Not another step forward or I’ll shoot. I’m not in pain. I’m just doing my job.”

“Then release the women and children. They’re no threat to the town or to you.” Leo motioned to the kids decked out in the white tae kwon do uniforms with various colors of belts. “They’re just children.”

The man looked confused and he started to drop his weapon when the camel spit in his face and tried to rear up. Intense color flooded the zookeeper’s face and he squeezed the trigger. A flash of light and whiff of sulfur exploded from the weapon as a dart whizzed by Clestie’s face.

Pandemonium broke loose as the camel tried with more fervor to bite the zookeeper, the kids screamed Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

and cried, and the tae kwon do master cartwheeled across the room and kicked the gun from the crazed man’s hands. The weapon exploded a second time knocking into several jars propped against the far wall. The contents spilled out with a smell to rival the camel’s malodorous scent.

Leo pulled away from Clestie and wrestled the zookeeper to the ground. He straddled him and pinned him to the floor, holding the man’s hands high above his head.

The tae kwon do master grabbed the keeper’s keys and uncuffed his student. Then he cuffed the zookeeper and released the camel. “Take this poor animal outside away from the crowd. Try to find it some water,” he said to Karly as he handed the reins to her. Then he turned to a couple of his second-degree black belt students. “Take the younger students back to the studio and ask Mrs. Chang to call their parents to come pick them up.”

The boy and girl bowed slightly and chimed in unison, “Yes, Mr. Chang.”

Elizabeth picked herself up from the floor where she had flattened herself. She stared uncertainly at the zookeeper. “Should I call the police again to come and get this guy? I wonder why they’re taking so long?”

Mr. Chang shook his head. “No. It will be safer if I take him to the station. According to the radio, the whole city’s going nuts. They have their hands full.”

“They’ll lock you up and throw away the key,” the zookeeper screamed, writhing, trying to pull out of the cuffs.

“I’ll come with you,” Leo said as he helped haul the man to his feet and propel him to the door. “We need to get that camel back to the zoo.”

Mr. Chang nodded. “We’d better do that first.”

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“Guess I’ll clean up the mess.” Bile bubbled in Clestie’s throat as she gazed at the gooey puddles on the floor.

“I’ll help,” Elizabeth said as she grabbed the broom.

Clestie turned to the rest of her customers and with an apologetic look announced, “Sorry, but we’re closing for the day.”

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Chapter Eight

“I’ll say it again, you’re a very strange and wonderful man,” Clestie murmured against Leo’s chest as she snuggled up to him later that night after they were finally alone.

Leo laughed and rolled to his side, gathering her closer against his heart. He lifted her face so that he gazed deeply down into her eyes. He dropped a kiss on her lips as he murmured, “I’m not the strange one. ‘Tis your clients, indeed your so-called modern civilization, that is strange.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Delightful quivers running rampant through her, she tapped his chin, wondering why she never saw a five o’clock shadow, why there wasn’t a hint of stubble. “Is it true that you always tell the truth? Like Superman?”

“Who is thisSuperman ?”

Clestie blinked and propped herself up on her elbow. “How can you not know about Superman or Bewitched ? Have you been living in a cave?”

Leo tugged gently at her ear. “Have you not been listening?” He pointed at the ceiling. “I’m from up there. This is the first time I’ve been down here since—”

“Hercules and the Trojan Horse.” Clestie fell onto her back with a plop. She turned her head against the fluffy pillow. “I believe you and yet it seems so…so surreal.”

“If I had grown up in your circumstances, I feel sure I would feel the same.” Love gleamed in his eyes.

Shivering, she smoothed a strand of his glorious silky mane between her fingers. She rolled over and wrapped herself in his waves. Her breasts tingled when she molded herself to his furry chest. But she sucked in a breath and forced herself to ask the question nagging her mind. “I got a call from Richard’s sister yesterday. He’s been missing for over two weeks. You and I are supposedly the last people who saw him.” She squinted at him. “You wouldn’t know where he is, would you?”

Taken aback by the unexpected question, Leo narrowed his eyes and tried to pull back but was trapped by his own hair. “Why are you still concerned with him? I thought he was ancient history. You’re with me now.”

She frowned. Was that an answer? “Just because I’m here with you now, doesn’t mean I’m not concerned. His family’s ready to file a missing person’s report.”

Leo remained silent and stoic too long.

Clestie untangled herself from his golden mane and sat up. She turned around and shot him a piercing gaze. “So? Do you know what happened to Richard? You do, don’t you?”

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Finally, Leo sighed and bolstered himself up on both elbows. He looked her square in the eyes. “I do.”

Clestie was ready to scream in frustration at having to pull the words from his mouth. “So tell me where he is! What’s happened to him?” she roared, ready to pummel the truth from him.

“Aphrodite turned him into an alligator.”

Clestie froze. Then she burst out laughing and rolled around the bed in her merriment, kicking her feet, mussing the covers. After the joke wore off, she wiped the tears from her eyes and whacked Leo’s upper arm. “Good one. Now, tell the truth. Where is he?”

Very sober and somber, Leo repeated, “He’s an alligator.”

Clestie tilted her head. “An alligator alligator?” She held her arms out before her and opened and closed Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

them like an alligator’s maw. “An alligator alligatoralligator?”

Leo crossed his heart, pursed his lips, and nodded. “Yes.”

“Aphrodite turned him into an…alligator.” She felt like she was speaking to a naughty child caught in a lie. Only the naked hottie in her bed looked nothing like a child in any way, shape, or form.

“Yes. Right before your eyes.”

Her head pounded. Perplexed, she gazed at Leo. “Then why don’t I remember that? It’s not as if it’s something I see every day.Why ?”

“Because I asked her to. The way he struck you was unconscionable and she was also aghast. You don’t remember the grievous occasion because she made you forget.”

The way the gods played with lives worried her. Like they were just dolls.

Leo shifted and slanted his gaze. “’Tis my family’s way. They’re not happy unless they’re in the midst of everything, making decisions for their subjects.”

“And you, too?” She held her breath for the extremely important reply.

A crooked smile lit Leo’s face. “I’m only half a god. Besides, dealing with all my Leos is more than enough to keep me busy—usually.” He grimaced and pushed his hair behind his shoulder. Then he gazed deeply into her eyes. “Do you still love Richard?”

Her forehead furrowed as another headache began to pound. “How can you ask that? I’m in bed with you. Naked.” She crawled on all fours and draped herself over him, heart to heart. She ground her pussy against his groin, trapped his burgeoning cock between her legs and squeezed until he moaned.

“This only proves you’re in lust with me.”

She swept her tongue languorously down the sensual column of his throat to his chest. Then she dipped her head and nibbled on his peaked nipple. “Then you don’t know me very well.”

Leo lifted her up and sat her astraddle him as he sat up. “So, does this mean you loveme ?”

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Clestie gulped, not ready to confess such feelings to someone who professed to be deserting her any day. She countered, “Do you love me? Aren’t you planning to go back to where you came from at the earliest opportunity?”

Leo cupped her face between his large hands and kissed her tenderly. “I have to go back. However, the longer I’m here, the less I wish to return.”

Her heart skipped several beats and she could hardly breathe. Did that mean? Could it mean? “You love me?”

“More than my Leos. More than the stars in the heavens.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Melting inside, she hugged him fiercely.

* * * * *

Frantic screaming chilled Clestie to the bone. Primitive grunts iced over her blood. She dropped the star chart she was working on and dashed to the door.

A man decked out in a purple velvet Robin Hood outfit, traipsed backward toward her shop. He dangled a fishing pole baited with raw meat before a long orderly line of snapping alligators.

Her customers scattered, stumbling over one another. Mr. Borsh scrabbled into an alley on his hands and knees. Karly hopped away like a chicken on hot coals. Deborah kicked off her Italian high heels and sprinted away in her stockinged feet.

Clestie gasped and jumped back. She tried to slam the door and bolt it but the pied piper of alligators shoved her rudely out of the way. She stumbled back and hit her head on the counter. Blood trickled from her temple. “You can’t bring those monsters in here!”

Wild-eyed, the pied piper looked around and scowled. “Where’s Leo? Get Leo out here.”

“He’s making a house call.” Clestie flipped open her cell phone and speed-dialed Mr. Chang at the tae kwon do studio. But the line just rang and rang. She cursed the sun just rising to the noon hour. The tae kwon do studio wasn’t open yet. No Leo, no Chang, not even a mini green belt in sight.

“Call him back,now . Or I’ll loose my army and that won’t be a pretty sight.” The crazy man jerked his bait toward her.

The movement drew her gaze to the front alligator—the one wearing a paisley ascot.

Ascot?

She gulped and stared at it, her mouth going bone dry. That wasn’t just any ascot. That looked just like the birthday present she’d given to—

“Richard!”

Her heart skipped several beats and her gaze locked with the alligator’s.

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The animal’s gaze flashed with intelligence and anger, sarcasm and angst. “It can’t be.”

I never lie… Leo’s words reverberated mockingly in her mind.

“Leo! You are soooooo dead.”

Elizabeth hissed from a hidden corner of the shop until Clestie looked around and tilted her head. When their gazes clashed, she tapped her cell phone and mouthed, “I called the police.”

Clestie prayed their rescuers would arrive before they all became alligator bait. She looked straight into the pied piper’s eyes. “Why’d you bring the alligators here? Why are you putting all these innocent Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

people in danger?”

Incredulity lit the man’s eyes as he chortled without mirth. “Innocent? Who’s innocent? You’re all guilty. Especially Leo and that cheating, lying hussy.”

Clestie frowned and tried not to breathe in the musky alligator odors. Dread filled her. “What did Leo do? What hussy?”

“That hussyClestie . The one that cheated on poor Richard with the pretty boy Leo.”

Clestie’s heart twisted and she peered closer at the man. Still no recognition came. How did he know her? Or of her? Goose bumps popped out on her arms and she rubbed them briskly as she hugged herself. “Who are you and how do you know about Leo and the huss—Clestie?”

“I’m the great swami Anjali Gumbhir and I speak to the animals. Richard told me his heartbreaking tale of woe and we’re here to exact revenge.”

Revenge? Clestie almost choked. “Clestie’s not here. She—uh—went on a vacation—a verylong vacation out of the country. To—to, uh, Nepal. She won’t be back for at least a couple of months. I’m herbrand-new ,innocent employee , Priscilla Logan.”

Elizabeth puckered her lips and with her finger, drew a circle in the air next to her ear.

Clestie tried to ignore her cousin and stammered on, “Leo’s not here and Clestie’s not here, so there’s not any reason to hang around and wait for her.”

The ascot-wearing alligator exposed its razor-sharp teeth and exhaled in a long hiss. After a short pause, it breathed in with a much lower intensity. Its belly inflated and it twitched its tail and scratched the floor with its claws.

The pied piper cocked his ear to the reptile and pursed his lips as the animal continued to grunt and hiss. He nodded and muttered, “Uh-huh. Yep. Gotcha, buddy.”

Then the man turned to Clestie with hatred-filled eyes. “Richard tells meyou ’rethe no-good, cheating hussy.”

Scared witless, barely able to breathe, Clestie’s feet were glued to the floor. Her tongue pasted itself to the roof of her mouth. Finally, she choked out, “Who are you talking to? Where is Richard?”

The pied piper jerked his thumb at the ascot-wearing alligator. “Richard the alligator. Well, he wasn’t an alligator until that dastardly Leo had him turned into one.”

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Clestie felt anger shoot through her veins. “Leo’s putting me on, isn’t he?” She pivoted on the balls of her feet and waved her hands in the air. “Okay, Leo. Time to come out and fess up to your rotten joke. And get these prehistoric monsters and this idiot out of my shop!”

Bellowing, the alligator stood up and angled its head toward her. It lunged and snapped its huge maw not two inches from her face. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

A frightened, raspy yelp was yanked from Clestie’s throat as she bounded back from the danger. She tried to run, but the alligators trapped her in a vicious circle. Unable to exhale, she began to hyperventilate.

Suddenly helicopter propellers split the air overhead, drowning out the grunts of the hungry beasts. A male voice boomed through a bullhorn, “By order of the police, remove the alligators. Put away the raw meat.”

Clestie almost fainted with relief as she clutched her throat. She dared not move, dared not collapse into one of the hungry jaws of death.

Gasping, the ascot-wearing beast shuffled around and looked to the rear, then scampered into the shadows out of her sight. Hissing, the other fiends pressed forward.

Her life flashing before her eyes, Clestie stood on tiptoe trying to distance herself an inch more from the monsters. She cursed at the pied piper who just laughed at her danger.

A uniformed, gas-masked SWAT team burst into the shop with high-powered telescopic rifles drawn. They threw cylindrical black canisters into the far reaches of the store that rolled and then sizzled open. Smoke curled up and tickled her nostrils as she felt herself falling onto her attackers.

* * * * *

The sound of gigantic, furious wasps rent the summer air. Scowling, Leo searched the sunny afternoon sky. Huge metal birds flapped their silvery wings high above as they hovered over the magic store.

Sniffing the sickly sweet scent of danger, Leo lifted his nose. The stink of musty animals and moldy swamp water roiled in his gut and he almost lurched. It brought back unwelcome memories of the horrible stench of his own pelt being ripped from his shoulders by that brute Hercules, and bile rose in his throat.

People burst from his street sobbing and muttering, praying and chanting. Some ran, pushing and shoving, tripping over their own feet. Others ambled past slowly as if in ghostlike trances.

Deborah passed by clutching her rosary to her throat and rubbing her thumbs over the smooth red beads. Wild wisps of hair spiked out from her normally perfect chignon. Mud caked her red linen power suit. She stumbled about drunkenly on feet covered only by her ripped hose.

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Mr. Borsh crawled by on his belly, tearing holes in his new leather jacket. His pierced tongue lolled out the side of his mouth. His biker’s chains clanged as they dragged along the broken pavement.

Karly stared sightlessly into the distance as she shredded her fingernails.

By Cronus! Had Zeus or Hera gone berserk and flung lightning bolts on Clestie’s shop? On her head?

His heart pounding frantically, Leo quickened his pace. Reaching Deborah first, he clutched her shoulders as gently as his worry would permit. “What’s going on?”

Deborah stared blankly at him, her pupils dilated. Her lips moved aimlessly but no sound was emitted. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

He shook her gently to awaken her from her stupor. “What happened? Is it Mystic Sensations? Is Clestie all right?”

Deborah twisted in his arms and lifted a limp arm in a sorry attempt at pointing. Her finger stuck out toward the shop. “Alligators. A whole gaggle of wild, horrid alligators.”

Panic boiling inside, he roared, “Where?”

“At the magic shop. Inside and out. All over.” Her teeth chattered and she quivered. “They’re everywhere. Some crazy man’s looking for you and he says they’re his army.”

Leo couldn’t breathe. Hard as he tried to drag in air, his lungs refused to cooperate. “For me? Do you know why?”

Deborah woodenly shook her head. “I wasn’t inside the shop, thank god, or I would’ve been trapped with those monsters alongside Clestie.” She swiped at perspiration dripping into her eyes and smeared grime on her face. “Oh, sorry.”

His heart ready to burst, Leo released Deborah so quickly she almost fell. “By Cronus, I have to free her!” He’d die—again—if anything happened to Clestie. Wings seemed to sprout from Leo’s feet as he ran to the magic shop. How he wished he could pull down a comet from the heavens and ride its tail to the shop. Travel by foot was so clunky and slow. His heart pounded heavier with every footfall that smacked the pavement, every breath that rasped from his aching lungs.

When he finally rounded the corner to the shop’s street and saw a small army of policemen carting away the alligators, he lifted praises of thanksgiving to Zeus.

Panting, Elizabeth stumbled out of the shop. Glassy-eyed, she grimaced at the prehistoric creatures. Then her gaze focused on Leo and a bounce entered her step as she changed direction on a path to him. “Thank god.”

Zeus was here? He looked around but there was no sign of his sire. Unless she meant him. Only he wasn’t a full-fledged god. He sprinted to her, closing the gap. Circling his fingers around her upper arm, he was reminded how frail, how mortal these women were and his worry escalated again. “Where’s Clestie? She’s not been taken prisoner, has she?”

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Elizabeth dragged in several gulps of the smoggy city air. The color in her cheeks soared to a bright apple red. She pointed at the propped open door. “In there, giving a statement to the cops.”

Leo gave Elizabeth a brotherly squeeze. “So she’s safe?”

She nodded and added with a hint of her normal mischief rekindling in her chestnut eyes, “Minus a heart attack or two,we’llbe fine.”

Leo winked and tapped her cheek. “If you’ll excuse me, I must go and check on my lady.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened with mock surprise. “Ooh! So that’s the lay of the land. That lucky devil.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo frowned. His Clestie was an angel, a marvel. “She’s not a devil.”

Elizabeth chortled and shook her head. “No, silly. I meant she’s lucky.”

Something alien touched his heart and he shook his head back and forth. “No, I’m the blessed one.”

Elizabeth sighed and fluffed her silky locks with her fingers. “Do you have a brother?”

Yes. A no-good, murderous brother…

A growl rose to his lips and his heart accelerated. His muscles tensed into fighting mode. He tried to remain civil but his lips stretched tightly across his teeth and he snarled. “Not one good enough for a maiden as comely as yourself.” Besides, Hercules had turned to ash eons ago.

Elizabeth batted her lashes. “You, kind sir, should save your flattery for your lady.” She inclined her head at the shop. “She needs you.”

Leo’s pulse raced and without further ado, he pivoted and shouldered his way past several brawny uniformed men into the ravaged store. He paused for a moment while his eyes grew accustomed to the dim light and he homed in on Clestie’s sweet voice.

He gathered Clestie into his arms and trailed kisses across her face while cradling her against his swiftly beating heart. “What is this outrageous tale tumbling off everyone’s lips?” He took a step back and ran his hands up and down her arms and let his gaze search for any signs of injury. When he spied no contusions and no scratches, he breathed in a sigh of relief and tried to gather her to him again.

Clestie pulled back and crossed her arms over her chest. She shook her finger at him. “Not so fast, mister. A crazy man dressed all in purple velvet led an army of alligators in here and—” She broke off and slid a glance to the raptly listening policeman waiting at her side. “Later,” she mouthed.

Louder, she said, “Let me just finish up here and then we’ll talk.”

Leo chafed and dug his hands deep into his pants pockets. Frowning at the deep claw marks in the wooden floor, he paced. He bent on one knee and fit his fingers inside one gash. The aura wasn’t good, not at all. It was human, an extremely furious human, and that meant…

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His gaze shot to Clestie and he wondered how much she’d discerned. Did she believe him about Richard’s fate?

As soon as the policemen left, Clestie whirled on him. “You need to change Richard back!” Accusation rang clear in Clestie’s voice.

Trying to breach her angry feminine citadel, he shook his head. “No. Aphrodite did it, remember?”

Her face a bright, angry red, Clestie shook her head and backed away from him. “Then Aphrodite has to turn him back. Call her!”

A loud “no” exploded from his depths. Even if he had the power, he still would have refused. “Any man who strikes a woman deserves to slither on his belly throughout eternity.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“Change him back, right now. I can’t believe this! How can you call yourself a god?”

“You’re obviously not familiar with the gods’ history,” he said dryly. Or the fact that he wasn’t a full-fledged god.

“Oh yes,” she drawled. “You have a very vengeful family…and sister.”

That he couldn’t argue. His muscles tensed and he stood taller. “I was protecting you.”

A snort exploded from her lips and her low, husky voice vibrated with anger. “Punching him out, filing an attack report—are protection.” She leaned closer and lowered her voice to a hoarse, incredulous whisper. “But changing him into analligator…”

“I didn’t do the deed.” He had little control over his all-powerful sister. “Aphrodite selected the punishment.”

Clestie waved away his justification with a nonchalant hand. “Semantics. Nothing’s ever your fault, is it?” She clucked her tongue. “You weren’t the tiniest bit jealous? Wanted to get the competition out of the way?”

Gravely insulted, the blood in his veins turned to ice. “I do not need to stoop to such dishonorable methods to make a woman fall in love with me.”

“Your father Zeus did all the time. Like father, like son.”

“I amnothing like my father.” Uncaring if he was heaping eternal damnation on his head, he cursed his family.

“Like your sisters?”

“No.”

“Too bad you’re not like your brother, the hero.”

“Hercules?” He drew a ragged breath as though he’d suffered a stunning blow to his gut. “As I previously mentioned, he was less than heroic.” Seething, he stepped back and bowed low, his elbows out, his hands stiff at his sides. “I can see I am most unwelcome here.”

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Clestie remained an impenetrable wall. “You’re no better than Richard.” She paused. “Worse!”

Leo turned to depart and came face-to-face with a tail-thrashing alligator—wearing a paisley ascot. Razor-sharp teeth snapped at his ankle as a ferocious growl ripped from the depth of the animal’s soul.

Clestie screamed, “Watch out!”

Swearing, Leo jumped back. Panting, he yelled, “Sword!”

Clestie looked about wildly. She climbed atop the table and scuttled over it. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Richard bared his teeth and lunged at Leo.

Leo turned and ran but Richard stayed on his heels.

“Leo! Catch!” Clestie tossed a broom to him. “Use this!”

Leo caught the stick and stared down his nose, crossing his eyes. “A blunt stick is the only weapon you have for me?”

Snapping jaws broke the wooden handle in two, flinging the splintered halves across the room. One skewered the wall not more than five inches from where Clestie stood staring in disbelief.

Yelping, Clestie hopped back. “Holy…”

An evil smirk crossed Richard’s alligator face. He hissed and gnashed his teeth.

“Leave us alone!” Clestie flung glass jars at the creature’s head as fast as she could grab them off the wall. Glass bounced off the reptile’s leathery hide as ineffectually as a piece of foam. The containers shattered on the floor and the creature crushed the contents under its heavy club feet.

Leo girded his loins, grabbed the thrashing tail and heaved with all his terrible might. He pounded his fist in the air and cheered when the villain crashed against the wall and slid down the smooth surface into a heap.

He closed the gap to Clestie and gathered her in his arms. Stroking her hair, he murmured endearments against her soft cheek. “’Tis my fault, but he’ll never bother you again.”

Clestie trembled against him but removed herself from his embrace. She darted to Richard’s side and bent on one knee. She felt around for a pulse and then shook the limp body. “Richard! Are you alive? Speak to me!”

Fearing that the monster would awaken and take off her head, Leo tried to pull back the suicidal wench. “Foolish woman! Why do you invite death?”

Pulling back, she fended him off. “Don’t touch me! Look what you’ve done. Is he dead?”

Bouncing on his haunches, Leo raked unsteady fingers through his hair. “I doubt he’s passed through the gates of the next world.” His luck had not been so good of late. “The damage can be reversed.” Not that the brute deserved it, terrorizing innocent women.

100 Heavenly Hijinks

Was that how the Greeks and Hercules had seenhim? Brutalizing and terrorizing innocents? Doubt settled like a lump in Leo’s throat. Was he no better than Hercules? Was Richard no worse than himself?

Hope chased away the anger in Clestie’s eyes, although two red spots still flared in her cheeks. Again she shook the sleeping animal. “Please wake up.”

With a gentler touch, Leo coaxed Clestie away from the danger. “You do not wish him to awaken with you in eating distance. He has the instincts of a predator.” He didn’t add that Richard always had. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

When they were across the room, Clestie gazed up at him with an inscrutable expression. Briskly, she rubbed her arms and stared from him to the unconscious beast and back. “If that thing is truly Richard, why haven’t you called Aphrodite to change him back?”

“You wish repentance from a god?” These contemporary mortals were unbelievably bold and full of themselves. They would never survive Zeus. Lucky for her he was a lot mellower as well as a lot less powerful. “You forgive what that man did to you?” Leo glared at Richard.

“No, not repentance. But how about mercy?” She rubbed the back of her neck and then looked from Richard to Leo. “Don’t worry. I have no intention of taking him back or condoning his actions. But that doesn’t mean he should remain an alligator, either.”

Zeus would probably ignore her pleas, but he wasn’t Zeus. Nor was he horrible like Richard. Lifting his hands wide to the heavens, stretching back his neck until the tips of his hair tickled the small of his back, he implored, “Oh great and wondrous Aphrodite, I implore thee to come and bestow your mercy on this wretched creature.”

A cloud of dust shimmered before them and Aphrodite slowly materialized in all her splendorous beauty. Her ethereal gown of blue threaded with silver swished at her bare ankles. Rings of gold and silver sparkled on her dainty toes. Her glorious raven hair twisted and fell in riotous curls to the lush curve of her hips. A naughty but indulgent smile played on her full lips. She held herself regally and lifted her chin a notch. Her gaze raked Clestie admiringly and she nodded her approval and winked saucily. “What is it I can do for my favorite little brother?”

Clestie’s jaw dropped wide and she stared unabashedly.

Kneeling before her in supplication, he lifted grateful, pleading eyes to his sister. “I must beg your help once again, oh great one.”

Aphrodite reached down and slid a finger under his chin and lifted his gaze to meet hers. Love shone brightly in her eyes. “Brother, you do not need to stand on ceremony with me. Leave the pomp and circumstance to our dear step-mama. What is it I can do for you?”

He pointed at the stirring creature against the far wall. “Clestie wishes for the alligator to be turned back into a man.”

Outright curiosity flickered in Aphrodite’s cerulean blue eyes and she fluttered her fingers in the air at Clestie. “Come here, my dear. Let me take a closer look.”

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Clestie looked to be in a trance. “You’re real? I’m not delusional, am I?”

Leo winced and hoped his sister took no offense lest Clestie be reunited with Richard in his reptilian form.

To his immense relief, Aphrodite smiled and chuckled. “You may touch me, my dear, to ascertain my authenticity. I am as real as you.”

Clestie started to stretch out her hand, but then let it hover in midair. “I never dreamed I’d meet you.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

She glanced at Leo. “Any of you.”

His sister turned to him with a furrowed brow. “She’s beautiful. I see why you are so besotted, dear brother.”

Gazing at the lovely woman beside him, Leo nodded and beamed with pride. “Yes, indeed.”

Clestie blushed and veiled her eyes with her lush lashes. She shuffled her feet and seemed to be in complete awe.

The beautiful goddess bestowed a warm smile on Clestie, “Really, you may touch. I promise not to turn you into a toad.”

“Have you ever done that?” Clestie bit her lip hard until she tasted the saltiness of her blood.

Aphrodite’s raven curls bounced around her sylphlike frame when she glanced over her shoulder at the alligator. “Did I not turn that vile creature into a reptile?”

“I suppose so.” She splayed her hands. “I didn’t see you do it. I only know that Richard is missing and he wore an ascot exactly like that one over there. I gave it to him for his birthday.”

Aphrodite heaved such a huge sigh her breasts almost spilled out of her tight bustier. “I don’t think he’s learned his lesson, yet. Are you sure you want me to return this mortal to his former self?”

Clestie swallowed hard and nodded.

Leo touched his sister’s arm. “Please turn the beast back into a man.”

Aphrodite looked at the brute and then at Clestie. “I shall do it for you, but mark my words, it will still be a beast. As the goddess of love, you’ll do well to heed my advice. You do not want a swine of a man brutalizing you like that one will. Steer clear of him if you want a happy marriage bed and strong, fine sons.”

Heat flooded Clestie’s torso and she couldn’t look Leo in the eye.Marriage bed? She only wanted Leo in her marriage bed. Well, maybe not now, after the macho schmuck had run amok. Confident she wouldn’t spill out of her sensible buttoned-up blouse she clamped down hard on her wayward emotions and thrust out her chest. “I have no intention of taking back any man who struck me. He was history the moment he showed his true colors. But neither does he deserve this fate.”

With a flick of her bejeweled wrist, Aphrodite said, “Revert to your true form, human.”

102 Heavenly Hijinks

Within the space of a ragged breath, Richard stood befuddled before them, naked except for the ascot dangling about his neck.

Richard quickly covered his private parts with his hands and sprinted behind her counter. Hatred brimmed in his darkened eyes and he spat out, “What did you people do to me? No one turns me into an alligator and gets away with it. I’ll have you all arrested!”

Amazement throbbing through her, Clestie let her gaze ping-pong from Richard to Aphrodite to Leo. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“It’strue.”

Aphrodite nodded. “Yes, my child. ‘Tis true.”

Clestie hardly noticed the goddess or Richard. Despair filled her as she turned to Leo. “So you’re leaving.”

Leo pulled himself up to his full height and he held himself rigid. “Have you not wished it so?”

Clestie’s emotions fluctuated dizzily and she truly didn’t know what she wished. She wished for him to stay forever, and conversely, she wished for him to hurry up and leave to ease the pain slashing her to ribbons. “I-I don’t know.” She hung her head for several seconds and shuffled her feet. And then on a ragged sigh, she looked up and met his steady gaze. “Does it matter what I want? You have to go whether I want you to stay or not, so what’s the purpose of me baring my heart?”

Leo cursed under his breath and pulled her into his arms. He cradled her against his heart and gently rocked back and forth. “Shush. Love is never wasted.”

She wished she’d never heard of love. “Lovestinks !”

Richard snorted. “Yeah. Tell me about it.”

As one they turned to Richard and shouted, “Who asked you?”

Aphrodite glared at the naked intruder. She lifted her delicate hand and snapped her fingers in the air. “I can turn you back into an alligator—or better yet, a slithering snake—this fast. What, pray tell, are you still doing in my presence?”

Richard tucked his chin against his chest and dashed out of the store.

Aphrodite drawled, “Don’t come back now. You hear?” She turned to Clestie and shook a finger at her. “I hope you’ll do the right thing.” She paused and gazed adoringly at her brother and pinched his cheek. Then she sobered and turned her somber gaze on Clestie. “Just like you harassed me into doing.”

Clestie’s heart sank like a stone. “I have to help Leo return home.”

Aphrodite looked extremely serious. “Yes. Before the world stops spinning.”

Clestie gulped. How little and insignificant she suddenly felt. Her eyes widened, and she asked huskily, “Really?”

A sunny smile erupted on the deity’s face and she tittered aloud. “No, not really. But it’s good to know you mortals can still be so gullible. All hope isn’t lost.”

If only…

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Shrugging, Clestie spread her hands wide before her. “But how? I’m only just learning how to read the tarot and make astrological charts. I don’t know any spells or incantations.” Nor, to her ultimate frustration, did anything out of the ordinary happen when she wiggled her nose or blinked. Not even the Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

“boink” sound effect that always accompanied magic gone awry on all the old TV shows.

Aphrodite spread her suddenly shimmering palm over Clestie’s heart. The glow seemed to reach inside Clestie’s soul and awaken a dormant magic.

Hot and cold chills assaulted Clestie and she shivered uncontrollably. “What’s happening to me?”

Leo slid his arm around her waist and lent his strength to her when she wobbled. “She’s helping you to tap into your magic…so you can help me.” He gazed down into her eyes with love.

Shaken to the depths of her being, Clestie could only nod. Her voice was playing hooky and refused to come out of hiding. Finally it decided to cooperate and she squeaked out, “So I really do have the power? But what do I do?”

Aphrodite glanced over her shoulder and then up at the heavens. She lowered her voice to an almost inaudible hush. “Officially, I’m not allowed to help Leo.”

Leo lowered his voice as well. “Technically speaking, you’re helping Clestie—and then she’ll help me.”

Aphrodite’s luminescence dimmed and her smile faded. “I doubt Father or our dear step-mama will see it our way. But I can’t stand to see lovers fighting. Divorce is at an all-time high.”

“’Tis very sad,” Leo agreed.

They couldn’t possibly be sadder than her. Sniffing, Clestie tried to check her tears. She reprimanded herself for being so foolishly selfish. This wastheLeo, the zodiac constellation. He didn’t belong solely to her. He never could, even if he wished to.

They were asking her to give up her happiness for the greater good—and so she must. But pain slashed her apart and she couldn’t breathe for the thought of never seeing him again—except as lights in the night sky. She tried to joke and ended up sounding flippantly cavalier. “So do I just say abracadabra and wave my magic wand?”

Aphrodite quickly shrank to thimble size and perched on Clestie’s earlobe. She hid herself beneath Clestie’s curls and whispered, “Put your hands in Leo’s and concentrate hard. Close your eyes and with all your being, wish him to go home.”

Clestie twitched where the goddess tickled her and chills coursed down her spine.

Aphrodite crooned in her ear, “Now say, ‘Go home, Leo.’”

Clestie couldn’t let Leo go without one last final kiss of farewell. “May we have a moment alone?”

“I wish I could suspend this moment in time just for you, for you truly touch my heart, but I must implore you lovebirds to make it quick. No telling when daddy-dearest will pop up. He has eyes everywhere.”

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Clestie tried to drag in air but couldn’t fill her lungs. Too many words wanted to tumble from her lips, too many emotions rioted in her heart and too many unsaid things clamored to get out. But her tongue refused to work and her eyes stung with the force of bitter tears. So she lifted her tremulous lips and Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

stood on tiptoe until they touched Leo’s.

Leo gazed down at her with heartbreaking pathos. He cupped her cheeks and caressed her lips with his. His thumbs traced the line of her jaw. “I have never met a woman so precious, so special, and my heart will always belong to you.”

“And I’ll never forget you, you big lug.” Playfully, Clestie punched his shoulder, failing dismally in her mission to appear blasé. The punch turned into a floppy slap, barely a graze of her knuckles against him.

Don’t break down and cry.Don ’t you dare break down and cry.

She was a tough, self-possessed Scorpio, and she wanted him to remember her with her head held high. She pushed out her breasts and squared her shoulders. She wanted Leo to remember her for all eternity, long after she had returned to the dust of the earth. In this small way, she would be immortalized—and she did not want to be immortalized as a crybaby.

Against her lips he murmured as he sensually ground his groin against hers. “Are you going to stay and help run Petunia’s shop?”

She nodded. There was nowhere elseon Earth she would rather be. Only she no longer wished to be on Earth,alone . Not wanting him to know how her heart was breaking, she faked a happy smile. “Of course.”

Aphrodite popped back on her ear. “No nookie, now. Wind it up. Trust me, you donot want to experience the wrath of Zeus.”

Did it really matter what Zeus did to her? But Clestie didn’t want anything untoward to happen to Leo or Aphrodite.

Clestie tried to be flip, to hide behind her abysmal sense of humor. “It’s been nice knowing you.”

Eek! Could she be a bigger dork? At least she could’ve mimicked some classic romantic movie and stolen some poignant parting line to save face. But she was a dancer, not an actor, so she gave herself a tiny break.

“I’ll never forget you,” Leo murmured huskily against her ear. “I wish it could be different.”

So did she. Briefly, she thought that if he truly loved her, he’d give up the universe, his godship, his duties. But then she felt horribly, wickedly selfish even thinking such a thing for so much as a split second.

“Ding ding ding. Time’s up. Maybe I can arrange a conjugal visit if you’re a good boy and girl.”

Leo grimaced. “I don’t want to go back to prison. I didn’t realize how trapped I was in heaven.”

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Clestie shook her head in awe. “It doesn’t sound like prison.” So even heaven could be lonely without love.

“Say itnow. I think I smell some of Zeus’ dirty ratfinks. We can’t risk wasting any more time.” To Leo, Aphrodite hissed, “Bid her adieu. Tell her you’ll love her forever and all that mushy, gooey stuff.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo cast a questioning look to his sister. Then he turned a gentler, loving gaze on Clestie. “I’ll love you forever.”

“Ditto,” Clestie said spurning the traitorous word. Love had turned out to be just another four-letter word. Like Zeus. And Hera. So this was the death the tarot had spoken of. The end of her time with Leo. The death of her newfound love.

Aphrodite pinched Clestie so hard on the ear that she yelped. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“Say it! Do I have to cast a spell on you? Or threaten to give you fat legs with ugly clubfeet?”

“Okay, okay.” Clestie was quite attached to her legs just the way they were, thank you very much, although if she could trade them for another day with Leo, she wouldn’t hesitate. Seeing how that wasn’t a choice, she would let the goddess think she’d won. A burning need to say the words assailed her and pushed their way past her throat. “I love you.”

Leo flashed a brilliant, blinding smile down at her. “I know.”

Clestie rolled her eyes. “I think you love yourself more than I could possibly ever love you.” And she loved the prideful, beautiful lion more than anything in the universe.

“Impossible. I love you more than any man has ever,will ever, love any woman.”

Aphrodite sighed and flew between them and extended her palms flat out to their faces. “While this is all very romantic and heart-melting, we really must be going.” She turned to Clestie. “Now say it!” she roared, shaking the building.

Leo grabbed Clestie to him and crushed her lips with his searing kiss until her knees buckled and she was clinging to him for support. When he finally released her, her pulse pounded so loudly in her ears she was sure she’d go deaf.

She had to do the deed now before she found herself incapable. She couldn’t bear to drag this out any more. “Go home, Leo.”

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Chapter Nine

Leo and Aphrodite shimmered away even as his name still echoed on Clestie’s lips. Swiping away stinging, unwelcome tears, she added, “Go ahead, get outta here.”

“Oops, did I interrupt something?” Elizabeth said as she entered the shop. She pointed to the apartment. “I’ll just go and hide until you’re in a better mood.”

Clestie looked up at the only other living member of her family, her only anchor left in this world, and ordered, “Get your butt over here. And you’re not interrupting anything. There’s nothing left to interrupt.”

“What’s that cryptic remark supposed to mean?” She looked around. “Where’s blondie?”

The tears threatened to overcome Clestie again and she paused until she could get them under control. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Flippantly, she waved her arm toward the sky. “Oh, blondie’s gone to his eternal resting place in the sky.”

All color drained from Elizabeth’s face and she gasped. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Do you mean he’s—he’s—dea—”

Aghast that she had scared her cousin, Clestie rushed to clarify. “Oh god, no. I didn’t mean that. I sent him back to where he belongs.”

Elizabeth slumped and heaved a sigh. “Whew! You had me going. I thought one of those gators got him.”

“Almost.” Clestie shuddered at the memory of Richard trying to swallow Leo whole.

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she clutched Clestie’s wrist and dragged her to a chair. “Huh? I take a little nap to get over all the excitement and instead I miss the best part.”

Clestie scowled. “Believe me, you missed the worst part. I found the magic within me and I sent him back to the heavens.”

Elizabeth just stared at Clestie as if she’d lost her mind. “Uh-huh. I see.”

“No, you don’t see, but don’t take my word for it. Look up in the heavens tonight and you’ll see that Leo is back in his rightful place. Take notes on all your Leo-born babies and see if they’re acting normal again. Go on the web and check the Leo message boards.”

“You believe what you’re saying, don’t you?” Elizabeth dug in her pocket and withdrew her phone. She flipped it open and searched for a number. “I know this friend of a friend of a friend that I think we should speak to.”

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Recoiling with disgust, Clestie scraped her chair back and jumped up. “I don’t need a shrink. I saw Aphrodite change an alligator into Richard. And I saw her and Leo shimmer away.”

Elizabeth followed her and wrapped her arms around her. “Oh, precious. You’ll get over Leo. You don’t have to pretend—”

Clestie broke loose and whirled on her cousin. “I’mnotcrazy and I’mnot making this up.”

“I’m happy for you—I think.” Confusion laced Elizabeth’s brown eyes, making them a darker shade than usual. Then she wrinkled her nose and added, “I mean, I’m not happy that Leo’s flown the coop. I meant, congratulations about your life getting back on track. Ooh! I’m messing this all up.”

Clestie took pity on her cousin and hugged her. “I know what you mean. Stop stressing. I’ll survive.” Heck! She might even learn to be happy again some day way into the future. She snorted so hard moisture sprayed from her nose. Mortified, she covered her face and turned away. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

Elizabeth laughed infectiously and Clestie caught the bug. Together, they fell to the floor giggling. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

* * * * *

Twinges of sadness niggled at Clestie when she placed the “Help Wanted” sign in the front window. She didn’t want to examine it too closely as she tried hard not to feel anything for anyone, to be like an unemotional, unfeeling rock.

The bells above the door jangled as a welcome summer breeze was let into the shop. Mr. Chang took the sign from her hand, quirked a brow, and read it aloud. “Help Wanted.” Then he studied her. “What’s this? Are you thinking of leaving us?”

Clestie shrugged nonchalantly. “Thinking about it. I’m really a dancer and I’m eager to get back to my troupe. Some big auditions are coming up and I need to get back in shape. I’ve been getting soft lounging around here. My cousin will need the help.”

Mr. Chang handed the sign to her and regarded her closely. “You don’t sound very excited.”

What could she say? “It’s what I’ve always wanted.” Again, excitement was notably missing from her voice.

Mr. Chang pursed his lips and sagely nodded. “Ahh.” He linked his hands behind his back and looked down at his feet. Then he looked up into her eyes. “Sometimes our dreams change. We realize something else holds more value.”

With a sigh, Clestie sank onto the closest chair. Folding her hands between her knees, she rocked back and forth over them. “Dance isn’t that different than tae kwon do. You work hard, practice for years and put your whole heart and soul into it.”

108 Heavenly Hijinks

The tae kwon do master bobbed his head and light reflected off his raven-black hair. “True.”

“So am I lazy, or maybe just crazy, to even think of turning down this chance when it’s finally within my grasp?” She twiddled her thumbs and stared at her twitching toes.

Shoot! The sparkly pink polish was chipping off her big toe. She’d never let herself get so frumpy before. Not a good sign.

A self-deprecating laugh bubbled off her lips.Did she really care ?

She considered it for a split second. Nope.

Hunkering down by her side, Mr. Chang bounced on his haunches. “I’m still passionate about my mission.”

“Aah, so, Iam falling apart.”

The tae kwon do master sifted his fingers through his short, thick hair. “No. Try not to become a person of success, but rather to become a person of value. We all travel different paths. We’re all given different choices.”

“How very zen of you,” she drawled. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Mr. Chang dropped his hand to her shoulder and squeezed. “Caution is good. Courage is better.”

She stared up at him, trying to match his sage advice to her situation. Was she being a coward? Was she running away?

“So what should I do?” she muttered, more to herself than to him, as she studied her toes. Her mind’s eye superimposed an ethereal image of Leo’s face watching down on her from the clouds.

The tae kwon do master tapped her cheek with his finger. “Can anything be sadder than work unfinished?”

Truly perplexed now, she had to seek clarification. “Which work? My dancing? Or this shop?”

He spread his hand over his heart and tapped it with the other. “Don’t take anyone else’s definition of success as your own.”

She recalled one of the inspirational quotes hanging on the wall of his studio that had stuck in her memory. Repeating it aloud, she asked, “‘Whatever you are by nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent.’ Isn’t my talent my dancing?”

“Petunia possessed a wondrous talent. Many say you possess that same talent.” He touched her heart. “Only you can decide where your greatest talent lies. What your calling is.”

She stared up at him for several silent moments as her emotions wavered and her jumbled thoughts ran the gamut from the love of dance to the need to help the people that sought her guidance, and there had been many. Her new mission was more of a ministry than a job. Much more than merely a career.

When peace settled in her heart she knew she’d found her answer.

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Standing and facing her new friend, she smiled her first real, heartfelt smile since Leo’s departure. She gratefully pumped his hand. “I’m needed here.”

Then she sent a grateful thought to Leo for showing her the way to her new life. She spoke aloud, “I miss him.”

Mr. Chang followed her gaze and saluted smartly to the sky as if he knew Leo resided there and watched down upon them. “The greatest test of courage is to bear defeat without losing heart. In other words, don’t be afraid to grieve. Don’t be afraid to love.”

She nodded and translated, “Keep on keepin’ on.” Not that she could ever love anyone else like she’d loved Leo.

Stop it! She and Leo weren’t meant to be, just like Leo’s mother and father hadn’t truly been meant to be together for eternity. They’d had their moment in time—brilliant, sparkling, but doomed to fizzle out like the tail of a comet.

The bells tinkled again and Karly pushed through the door followed by an entourage of Clestie’s new family. Karly sported a new tattoo on her shoulder, a sexy, winking camel with long, flirty lashes. Her Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

spiky hair was damp from the especially humid day and she lifted her face to the whoosh of cool air oozing from the high vent on the wall. Then she marched up to Clestie. “What’s this we hear about you deserting us? You can’t do that.”

“I’m no—”

Burrowing herself into Clestie’s arms, Karly smothered her in a giant bear hug. “We need you. We love you. You’re family.”

Clestie opened her mouth to speak again. “I—”

The others joined the hug, trapping Clestie in the middle. She was about to drown in all this love and tried to drag in some air, barely managing to get a gulp. How could she leave this? Now she saw at least one reason Petunia had loved it so much. This was a family. “I’m not leaving.”

The huddle broke apart. Karly poked her finger around in her ear and peered closely. “Come again?”

Calmness spread through Clestie and she felt at ease. “I was thinking about returning to my dancing. I thought you’d be happy if I left.”

Karly plopped down on the chair Clestie had just vacated. She stroked her hair. “You’re not as bad as I first thought.”

Clestie’s heart swelled. She knew she was where she was supposed to be.

* * * * *

Leo moped. He sighed and rested his chin on his hand and stared blankly out at the cosmos. Life was boring without Clestie and all the mortals he’d come to call friends.

“What’s eating you, Son?”

110 Heavenly Hijinks

Although Zeus’ voice boomed loudly in his ears, Leo didn’t make any response. He just kept staring into the lackluster distance.

Zeus stepped around to his front and bid him to rise. “You’re not still hankering for that little mortal, are you?”

Leo’s dander rose and he stretched to his full height. “She’s not a little mortal. And I love her, Father.”

Zeus shook his head and looked up. “Son, son, son. Mortals are a star a dozen. How about I send you on a little vacation and give you a dozen comely maidens? That should rouse your manly spirits.”

Leo twisted his lips. His cock didn’t twitch. His heart didn’t leap. “Thanks, but no thanks.” He looked squarely into his sire’s face. “I thought I was desperately needed here to ride herd on all my little Leos?”

Zeus scowled. “Like you’re much good, the way you’ve been moping around since your return.”

Hera shimmered into existence next to Zeus. “So give the boy the mortal wench his heart desires.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Surprise lit Zeus’ dark eyes. “Here?” He spread his arms wide. “In our heavens? But she’s not even a nymph.”

Leo’s heart leapt at the thought. “Yes, Father. You have a wife. Am I not permitted the pleasure?”

Zeus arched his eyebrow. “But you’re not the marrying kind.” In a barely audible aside, Zeus muttered for Leo’s ears alone, “Whatpleasure?”

Hera tugged on Zeus’ beard. “Give the lad a break. Can’t you see he’s in love?”

Zeus yanked back with a yowl and treated his wife to a dirty glare. “Have mercy, woman. The lad’s merely in lust.”

Glaring back, Hera folded her arms across her heaving bosom. Her brows lifted and her nostrils flared. She tapped her sandaled foot. “So, men can onlylust after women? They can’t love their wives? Is that why you constantly cheat on me, dear husband?”

Leo inched out of the line of fire and checked his peripheral vision for any passing stars on which he could hitch a ride.

Zeus’ Adam’s apple protruded and he looked about to swallow his tongue. “Of course not, my dear.” He glanced at Leo as if asking for help.

Like he had any pull with his dear step-mom. Leo just shrugged and shook his head.

“I thought you didn’t like my illegitimate offspring. Why are you being so nice to him? What do you want this time, wife?”

Hera stepped back as if slapped. “Nothing more than to help our beloved Leo. I’m hurt that you would suspect anything devious or untoward of me, dear husband.”

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Shocked, Leo blinked.Hera wanted to help him? He was just as skeptical as his dear old dad. Maybe more. It was a well-known fact that Hera despised her stepchildren, him included. He wondered where the poison apple lay.

Desperately missing his Clestie, Leo decided he’d worry about Hera’s motives later. Now, he’d take any help he could get. “I am the marrying kind—if I have the right woman—and Clestie’s the right woman.” He glanced slyly at the beautiful older, well-preserved woman. “Just like dear Hera isyour soul mate.”

Zeus started to cough and then tears rolled down his cheeks. He held his mouth over his hand and finally said, “It’s getting deep out here.”

Hera threw a lightning bolt at Zeus that singed his beard. She laughed as Zeus hopped up and down, trying to extinguish the fire. “Watch your step, dear husband, or next time, I’ll put something more important than your beard on fire.” Pointedly, she let her gaze travel south.

Zeus and Leo gulped. If this is what it would be like to be married to a goddess, he’d take a mortal any Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

day. He blessed the decidedly unshrewish Clestie. Bowing low and deferentially to his sire, he pleaded, “Please grant me my heart’s desire and I will pledge my eternal allegiance.”

Zeus gazed shrewdly. “I already have your eternal allegiance. What other bargaining chips do you have?”

Leo got down on bended knee. “Only the truth. Clestie has proven herself worthy of being exalted. She showed godly courage and love. She sacrificed her happiness for the good of mankind. She’s earned her place amongst us in the heavens—by my side. What more could you ask for in a daughter-in-law? What better woman to bear you strong, fine grandsons?”

Zeus patted his beard and tweaked out a smoldering ember. Then he leveled a very sober gaze on Leo. “Will you settle down and stop being such a party animal?”

Leo put his palm to his heart. Nodding sagely, he promised, “I swear. If you bestow me this, my most fervent desire, I will make you proud.”

Leo squared his shoulders and faced off against Zeus. He tossed his mane behind him and narrowed his eyes. “I have reached a decision. I would rather be mortal and finish my days on Earth with Clestie, however short a time it may be, than remain here for eternity, if that is the only choice I’m given.”

Zeus scowled. “Oh, all right.”

Hera cried with joy and hugged her husband. “I knew there was a reason I loved you so much.”

Zeus studied him for several moments. Then a huge grin crossed his lips and he heartily slapped Leo on his back. “About time you grew a backbone.”

Hera cleared her throat and daggers shot from her eyes at her husband. A brisk wind whipped up about her feet, blowing her skirt about her ankles.

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Zeus gulped and hurriedly said, “I mean, I’m so pleased to see what a fine man you have become, my son.” He glanced sideways at his wife as if to ask if that was better.

Hera smiled and nodded.

With a humbleness and gratitude long missing in his demeanor, Leo bowed low. “Thank you, Father.” He turned to his stepmother and kissed her hand. “Thank you, Hera.”

“What are you waiting for?” Zeus’ voice boomed, shaking the heavens so that Leo was knocked off his feet. “Bring your comely lass home to meet the parents.”

Leo groaned. No one deserved such a fate.

Questions burned in his soul. “What will Clestie do here? Do you not have to make her a goddess first?”

Zeus stroked his long white beard as he regarded Leo. “That might help her to survive the lack of atmosphere.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo tried to swallow back a smile but failed. It spread across his face just as supreme joy flooded his soul. “It just might.”

Zeus shimmered and with a wink, called out, “Last one there’s a rotten egg.”

Leo shook his head and clamped his hands on his hips. Since when had his sire ever played fair? Zeus knew Leo was only a demi-god, lacking in transport powers.

“Never you fear,” Hera said on a twinkling laugh. She waved her hand at him and as he felt himself transported across the cosmos, he heard her add, “My beloved husband will not win this time.”

* * * * *

A chilly breeze made Clestie shudder and she briskly rubbed her arms. Goose bumps pimpled against her palms as if a ghost had walked across her grave and she glanced over her shoulder half expecting to encounter a specter.

Nothing.

She was imagining things again. Ever since Leo had convinced her she was psychic, she thought her powers were in the on position at all times.

“Crazy. Crazy. Crazy,” she mumbled beneath her breath. She’d probably just heard Elizabeth moving around upstairs. Or maybe one of the tae kwon do students had banged the adjoining wall too hard.

When she turned back around, Leo and a white-bearded man in long, flowing robes faced her. Her heart stopped and her blood froze in her veins. She tripped over her feet and stumbled forward.

Leo caught her before she slammed into the ground. “My dearest love. Please don’t die of fear before you’re immortalized.”

Joy warred with fear, happiness with disbelief, and she froze in shock.

Immortalized?

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She parted her lips to speak but only an embarrassing croak emerged. Mortified, she tried again to formulate at least a halfway articulate response. “Hello.”

Cripes. A first grader could write a better speech.

The older man with Leo cracked an amused smile. “My dear, is that the most fervent greeting you can give to the god of all gods?”

More frogs croaked in her throat. Finally, she spit out, “Y-you’re Zeus?”

Leo said dryly, “Guilty.” He nodded toward the white-bearded man. “I want you to meet my dear old pop, the revered god-head, the—”

Zeus winked saucily at her and whispered in an aside. “What he really means is his old royal pain in the Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

toches.” Zeus pulled a mock frown at his son. “He’s always been a suck-up.”

Leo frowned. “Not true. I’m the rebel.”

Zeus just chortled and turned back to Clestie. “You must be all agog and wondering why you have the blessed pleasure of my audience. Why Leo has returned.”

Clestie’s heart hammered a suffocating tattoo so hard against her ribs it was a wonder they didn’t shatter. Rushes of joy overcame her. Nervous, she wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. “Leo’s returning to Earth?”To me ?

Leo shook his head and the late afternoon sunlight filtering through the windows danced off his gently swaying locks like spun gold. He gathered her hands in his and caressed her knuckles with his thumbs. “Not quite.”

Clestie’s heart shriveled and dropped. But she thrust her chin high and refused to show her heartbreak. She racked her brain for reasons they would seek her out and fell short. “You need my assistance again?” She puckered her brows and looked to Zeus. “Since you’re here together I can only presume you’ve mended your rift and Leo no longer requires a mere mortal’s help?”

Leo’s frown matched hers and he tightened his grip. “I don’t need your help. I needyou .”

A ragged gasp tore from Clestie’s throat and she replayed his words in her mind in case she’d put her own spin on them. She searched his eyes for any hint of godly mischief and found only flickering passion, hope and pleading.

Still, she hesitated and pulled back. Her infamous Scorpio skepticism made her ask, “What do you need me for this time?” She was extremely aware of Zeus’ electrifying presence not three feet distant, of him unabashedly hanging onto every word. “Surely your all-powerful father can provide for all yourneeds .”

Leo dragged her to him as if she offered no resistance. He plundered her lips with his drugging kisses. He caressed her hair and her face as he murmured, “I love you. I can’t live without you. Not even the gods can manufacture love.”

The air whooshed out of her chest and delicious tingles ran up her spine. She snuggled close and molded herself to him as she murmured against his chiseled lips. “I’ve missed you so very much. I love you.”

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They drank deeply of each other’s lips and all the pent-up passion spilled over to their caresses.

Zeus loudly cleared his throat and rematerialized behind them. “No demonstrations, please. I well know how part A and part B fit together.”

Oh god! All the blood drained to Clestie’s feet and she tried to yank back from Leo. She’d completely forgotten the god’s presence. Leo’s fingers clamped like a vise grip around hers, not allowing her to budge. Wryly he said, “How true. Since when are you a prude?”

Zeus rolled his eyes. “I don’t get any respect. I miss the good old days.”

Clestie had to laugh and some of her tension seeped out. “You’re not half the boogieman I’d expected.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Leo’s stomach shook with laughter and he snorted. “Don’t believe that for a second. The only one with a more formidable lightning bolt is Hera.”

Miniature lightning bolts exploded in a circle around Leo and Clestie. Then a beautiful woman in a gossamer gown and long, flowing dark hair shimmered into existence beside Zeus. “Did I hear my name taken in vain?”

Leo released himself from Clestie and bowed courteously. “No, dear stepmother. I only spoke the truth. Since when do I do anything other?”

Hera glared down her long Grecian nose at Leo. “Sometimes I wish you were a little less honest. Like when you blurted my age out to all and sundry—and my weight.”

A mischievous smile played about Leo’s lips. “But one hundred thirty-six pounds is nothing to be ashamed of for a woman of 5022 years.”

More lightning bolts flew from Hera’s fingertips, this time at Leo’s feet.

“See what I mean?” Leo released Clestie so suddenly she almost stumbled into the line of fire as he did a quick dance.

Righting herself, Clestie stepped forward and extended her hand in greeting. “I’m so very pleased to meet you.” And this was extremely weird. She dug her nails into her palm to ensure she wasn’t dreaming. The little pinch of pain lent assurance she dwelled in a waking reality.

Clestie’s curiosity was about to choke her and looking back at Leo who was dusting himself off as his loincloth came dangerously close to exposing his private parts, she blushed. Heat burst in her pussy and spread to her limbs, all the way to her fingertips. Turning back to Zeus and Hera she tried not to squirm but blurted out, “I’m thrilled,”I think , “but what am I to be thrilled about?”

Surprise flooded Hera’s face and she shook her head. Sharply she elbowed her husband in the ribs. “Didn’t these two tell you?”

Reverent or not, Clestie itched to drag the words off their sluggish tongues but she forced herself to remain still and deferential. “No!” she roared, and then bit her tongue hoping they wouldn’t turn her into a scorpion or something worse. She added in much more controlled tones, “No. I’ve yet to be enlightened.”

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Hera closed the gap between them and clasped Clestie’s hands. Immediately, bright white light showered out from between their palms and she felt a radiant glow tingle deep in her soul. “Then allow me, my dear. For your valiant sacrifice, we are elevating you to the heavens as a demi-god to rule by our dear Leo’s side.”

Leo’s thigh brushed hers as he entered the circle of light and he put his hands over theirs. Gazing deeply down into Clestie’s eyes, he said, “You shall rule beside me—as my wife.” He bent before her on one knee and gazed up. “If you’ll have me.”

Clestie’s jaw dropped open and she gaped at the blond vision for several silent, heart-stopping Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

moments.

“Well?” Zeus leaned close. “Are you going to keep the lad waiting all day? Not that there’s any doubt what you’ll say.”

Leo glared at his father. “Do you mind?” When Zeus didn’t move, Leo added through gritted teeth, “A little privacy, please?”

Hera grabbed Zeus by the ear and tugged. “I swear you’re the nosiest deity. Come, dear husband.”

Zeus batted his wife’s hand away. “Oh, okay.” He looked sternly at Clestie. “Don’t disappoint my son.”

Clestie whispered to Leo. “Are they always like this?”

“Worse,” he said. “But you’ll get used to it.”

A warm glow enveloped her and she nodded. She missed what little family she’d had and would cherish a large and boisterous one, even if she had to put up with the inescapable family squabbles.

“Don’t take too long on your honeymoon, Son. As you keep telling me, your Leo babies can’t stand another long hiatus so soon. All you get is one week.”

Embarrassing warmth crawled up Clestie’s neck but Zeus and Hera were gone before it settled in her cheeks. She blinked. “Guess I’m going to have to get used to that.”

Leo looked nervous and lifted her hand to his lips. “Does that mean you’ll accept my proposal of marriage? That you will leave everything here and come to the heavens and rule the Leos by my side?”

“Yes!” She jumped into his arms and grappled him to the floor. They rolled over and over until she victoriously straddled his very fascinating, burgeoning cock. Then, she paused as a horrible thought washed over her. “But I’m a Scorpio.” She grimaced down at her very Scorpio body. “Won’t that be a hindrance?” How could a Scorpio rule with a Leo? According to the stars, Scorpios and Leos shouldn’t be a love match.

Leo put slight pressure on her shoulders and dragged her down so that the tips of her breasts rubbed against his naked chest and her lips were within kissing distance. “ThisLeo andthis Scorpio are a perfect match.”

Gasping, she bit her tongue. She’d said that aloud? Or did he read minds?

116 Heavenly Hijinks

His thumbs traced the outline of her breasts and then drew inward until they played with her nipples. “Of course, you have Leo in your moon.”

Moaning, she ground her pussy against him. Her juices began to flow and she squirmed. Huskily she whispered, “Let’s take this somewhere private.”

A lazy, sultry smile curved Leo’s lips. “Take me to the heavens.”

The heavens… Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Elizabeth.

Panicked, she pulled back and looked up at the apartment. Pain slashed through her happiness. Couldn’t anything be easy? Black and white? Cut and dried? Did she have to choose between the love of her life and her cousin, the only family she had left in the world? The death theme had reared its head again and she finally understood all the nuances of her astrological readings. The end of one life, one purpose, and the beginning of a new glorious one—except for leaving her beloved cousin and business partner. “I can’t just disappear without saying goodbye to my cousin.”

She let her gaze roam Petunia’s shop—her shop. “What do I do with Petunia’s shop? I can’t just abandon it.”

Leo sat up and pushed his mussed hair from his eyes. With a sigh, he curled his arms around her waist and held her tight when she tried to slide off his lap. “Leave it in Elizabeth’s capable hands.”

Clestie pondered his excellent suggestion. Elizabeth had practically been managing the shop. But she was only on sabbatical and soon planned to return to her accounting position. “I can’t ask her to give up her career to run a musty old magic shop.”

“You were going to hire a manager anyway. She doesn’t have to be here for the day-to-day management,” Leo said, leaning his forehead against hers and gazing deeply into her eyes.

Clestie felt her eyes crossing and blinked. “How did you know?”

Leo stole a quick, dizzying kiss from her lips. “I’ve been watching you, of course. I also know you’ve been avoiding looking at the nighttime heavens—at me.”

Clestie nodded and swallowed a lump. “I-I couldn’t bear to see you so far away. To know I’d never see you up close again. Never touch you…kiss you…” She punctuated her words with kisses.

Leo lifted her off him and gave her a swat on her tingling bottom. “You’d better hurry up and find Elizabeth or I won’t be able to pull back.”

Clestie tried to sidle up to her new fiancé as he rose to his feet, but he held her at arm’s length. “Once I start making love to you, dearest one, I don’t plan to stop for the entire week of our honeymoon.”

Quivers raced through Clestie. Stretching up, she slashed a kiss across Leo’s mesmerizing lips. The soft kiss grew feverish and his hands roamed her back. His moans sounded a red alarm in her mind and she tugged fiercely away lest they go off to

117 Ashley Ladd

never-never land and she never see her cousin again. She couldn’t go and let Elizabeth worry on her account.

She held her forefinger up and said breathily, “Hold that thought. I’ll be back in a jiff.” She dashed up the stairs, taking them two and three at a time. Her fingers barely skimmed the iron railing but her furiously pounding feet made it sound like a herd of elephants had invaded the shop.

Elizabeth emerged from her bedroom, groggily rubbing her eyes and yawning wide. Her dark hair stuck Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

out in clumps around her ears, accentuating the paleness of her face washed clean of her foundation and blush. “What’s all the ruckus? Can’t a person sleep in the middle of the afternoon without all the hullabaloo?”

Clestie ran to her cousin and folded her in her arms. Making a special memory, she sniffed in her scent of wildflowers.

Elizabeth pulled back and eyed her suspiciously. “What are you doing?”

Brimming over with happiness, she could barely keep from bouncing up and down like every nerve ending in her body. “Saying goodbye. Leo’s come back for me and I’m going with him.”

“Going with himwhere?” Elizabeth inclined her head toward the ceiling and beyond. “Upthere ?”

Giddy, Clestie nodded. “We’ll rule the Leos together.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she seemed to snap out of her daze as her gaze sharpened. “Do you know how crazy that sounds?”

Clestie hugged herself and twirled around like she was a little girl again. “I know. Isn’t it awesome?”

Elizabeth’s eyes clouded and she swiped at a tear. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“You were all for me going back to my dancing.”

“This is different. I only had to drive a bit to see you.” Elizabeth finger-combed her hair back, but it still looked like straw. “I can’t very well catch a spaceship to your star.”

Leo’s voice reverberated behind them. “I promise you she’ll be very happy and performing a great service for your fellow mortals.” He rested his chin on her head and snaked his arms around her waist. “Perhaps if Zeus is in a cheerful mood, he’ll permit us to visit on our anniversary. One day a year, at least.”

One day a year wasn’t nearly enough! Clestie leaned back into her man and gloried in his warmth as she soaked in the vision of her cousin, emblazing it in her memory. She touched her heart. “I’ll take you with me. I’ll never let you go.”

Tears streamed down Elizabeth’s cheeks and Clestie felt a suspicious sting attack the back of her eyes. She left Leo’s warmth and hugged her cousin to her heart. “I’ll visit as often as I can. I’ll be watching over you.Promise .” She pulled back and crossed her heart.

Elizabeth swallowed a lump in her throat. Her gaze roamed about them. “What about the shop? What will you do with it?”

118 Heavenly Hijinks

She took her cousin’s hand and squeezed it. “Will you take it over? I mean, you can hire a manager for the day-to-day stuff. I know you have your own career waiting for you, but it will provide security for you, and that way it will stay in the family.”

“I’d be honored.” Elizabeth glanced down toward the shop proper. “This place has grown on me.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Clestie didn’t try to bite back her smile. “Yeah, me, too. Petunia’s place is very magical.”Miraculous. She glanced back at her very magical almost-husband and quivered.

“Will you be my bridesmaid? Alongside Aphrodite?” She couldn’t believe she was saying this, but then she was marrying Leo, the constellation demi-god, brother to Aphrodite.

Elizabeth gulped and panic pooled in her eyes. “TheAphrodite?”

“None other,” Leo said as he dropped his hands to Clestie’s shoulders and squeezed. “Just worship her, show complete reverence and respect and you won’t have a problem.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she said in a small voice, “Good. I’ll remember that. I’ll just practice up on how to speak frog.”

Clestie couldn’t help but laugh until she remembered Richard the alligator. “Just curtsy a few times. You’ll be fine. Aren’t you the one who told me it’s good to have friends in high places?”

Elizabeth moaned. “I never dreamed this high.”

Clestie shrugged and spread her hands wide. “We’re just blessed. What can I say?”

Leo murmured, “I’m the one who is blessed.”

His sweetness melted her heart and she turned and pressed a kiss to his lips. Her heart swelled when he pulled her against him and deepened the caress. When his hands kneaded her breasts, she moaned into his mouth and moisture dampened her panties.

Elizabeth cleared her throat and looked away. “Guys. Get a room.” She tiptoed away over creaking boards, mumbling, “Exit, stage left.”

Leo lifted his lips and gazed down into her eyes. “Zeus, we’re ready to go home.”

Home.

Petunia’s shop had been home—when Petunia was here, and more recently when she, Elizabeth and Leo had settled in. What washome now?

A smile illuminated her soul.Home was where her heart dwelt—and it dwelt securely in Leo’s arms, within the sanctity of his heart. His first reading for her had been more right than either of them had ever imagined possible. She’d not merely moved from one town to another, or even from her country to another, but she’d traveled all the way to the stars.

An odd shimmering tingled at the depths of her being and before she knew it, she was floating in Leo’s arms, surrounded by twinkling stars, a silvery moon and gloriously colorful nebulas of flickering blues, purples and greens.

119 Ashley Ladd

Leo released her for a moment and spread his arms wide. “Welcome home, dearest.” Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Wondrous awe struck her and she had to ask, “This is real? I’m not dreaming?” On a mischievous smile, she added, “Is the moon really made of cheese?”

“Minx,” he teased with his lips pressed against hers. “You modern mortals need so much proof. Isn’t this enough?”

Clestie snuggled close to Leo and wound herself in his intoxicating locks. She nibbled and kissed the golden flesh of his shoulders, down his chest, and skirted the rim of his loincloth. “You’ve made a believer of me.”

The loincloth tented provocatively and she blew on it, hoping the slight breeze would provide her a peek of the treasures that lay beneath.

Leo laughed huskily and sifted his fingers through her hair. “Naughty little minx.”

She delved her hand under the teasing cloth and found his gems. Small tremors shook her as if she curled her fingers around the velvety length of his cock. “Since you’ve been in my life.”

Leo’s hips thrust higher with each stroke of her hand. “Ah, you can’t blame your basic Scorpio nature on me.”

She smiled so sweetly she felt as though she was about to go into sugar shock.

Leo growled and his eyes flashed fire.

Ignoring his almost suffocating but adorable Leo pride, Clestie let her little devil come out to play. She lifted his loincloth and peeked beneath. “Ooh.” His cock was so ready for her, pulsing and throbbing. She enjoyed playing peekaboo so she dropped the cloth.

Leo’s forehead puckered and he supported himself on his elbows. “Do I not please?”

She edged the material away again and blood rushed to her pussy. She allowed her gaze to caress his beautiful cock and the powerful thighs. “You most definitely please.”Mouthwateringly so .

He lifted her offending clothes over her head and dropped it by their sides. Then he pulled the tie on his loincloth so that it puddled atop the heap. With a wickedly delicious come-hither grin, he laid back and crooked his finger. “Then allow me.”

With a saucy shake of her tush, she stretched her leg across his hips and hovered just above the tip of his cock. She couldn’t get over how she could stay stationary without floating away or falling, how she could breathe without air. She licked her lips as she smiled into his dream-filled eyes.

“Can people see us with a telescope from Earth?” Not that such a tiny nuisance would stop her from loving her man.

She stroked his cock with her clit and moaned when ecstasy flooded her. Eternity wouldn’t be long enough to enjoy her god.

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Leo clamped his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down onto his cock until his full length was Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

sheathed in her sleek warmth. “Only as twinkling stars. Their telescopes aren’t high-powered enough to view us in such intimate detail.”

She clutched his magnificent cock with her vaginal walls and slid up and down.

He thumbed her clit until only ragged breaths burst from her throat, until she was so feverish she was about to burst into a raging inferno.

In between gulps of air, she asked “What about your…family? The other…constellations?”

Thrusting deeper, Leo rocked her harder. “Have no fear. We’re cloaked by the nebula.”

“Fear?” Silvery laughter tinkled off her lips. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. “What fear could I have with you by my side?”

Bells chimed and sirens flashed making Clestie jump and her heart almost explode. “What’s that?”

“By Cronus!” exploded from Leo’s lips.

“What?” Alarm threatened to choke her. What could threaten gods in heaven?

Satan and his devils, of course…

She tried to climb off Leo but his hands clamped around her waist as he pounded harder in rhythm to his ragged pants. “One of our Leos is in distress.”

“Shouldn’t we help?”

“Patience, dear one. Give him a chance to figure it out. We’ll monitor the situation—as soon as we’re finished—and I’m in no mood to rush.”

When Clestie hesitated, Leo added, “Was it was not you who taught me to give mortals more credit? More autonomy?”

A sly smile played about his sexy lips. “Not to be so overbearing and in charge all the time to quote you?”

She digested the lesson and relaxed. She was about to quip “now you listen”, but since it benefited her supremely well, she held her tongue. “Yes, my love.”

She tuned out the bells and rode him hard. Bronco-busting felt so much better than peekaboo. She squeezed her thighs against his flanks and rode like the wind.

Sweet, soul-shattering shudders shook her to her core and she screamed in ecstasy. She squeezed his cock inside her, milking his seed.

Leo pulled out all the way to the tip of his penis and then rammed in to the hilt.

Their souls entwined, they clung to one another and rolled over and over. Kissing deeply, they crossed the Milky Way before the euphoria subsided to a satisfied glow. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Against her lips, Leo murmured, “I’m finally, truly in heaven.”

Clestie smoothed his glorious golden hair from his flushed cheeks and dropped a kiss on the tip of his nose. “I’ve been in heaven since the very first time we met.”

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About the Author

Whether it’s strolling through the worst slums of the Third World to serve the poor in her day job, marching in the Mardi Gras parade representing the US Air Force, falling off horses in the middle of riding competitions (while she’s trying to impress a really handsome real-life hero), or spending unforgettable romantic afternoons on the sun-kissed Biloxi beaches, Ashley Ladd lives for romance and adventure.

Wanting it all, Ashley is not content to sit back and watch life pass her by. Her lifelong quest is to find the perfect hero, run faster than a speeding locomotive, stop speeding bullets, fly through the heavens— oops, that’s herreally top top secret identity. Like herself, her heroines often do crazy things like fall off horses at the worst possible moment leaving no choice but to laugh at themselves as they blunder their way through this, or far-distant, crazy mixed-up worlds. In the end, dreams come true, the handsome hero falls madly in love with the heroine, and all is right with the universe, crazy as it may be.

Ashley invites you to come sit a spell at her cyber home, read her oh-so-scintillating blog, and find out the latest news about her books, awards, and contests at www.ashleyladd.com.

Ashley welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.

Also by Ashley Ladd

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And Lady Makes Threeanthology

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Civil Affairs

Make-Believe Lover

Price of Fame

Purrfect Justice Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

Sex Kittensanthology

Discover for yourself why readers can’t get enough of the multiple award-winning publisher Ellora’s Cave. Whether you prefer e-books or paperbacks, be sure to visit EC on the web at www.ellorascave.com for an erotic reading experience that will leave you breathless.

www.ellorascave.com