The student newspaper of Imperial College

Issue 1043 FELIX December 1st 1995

Charity Losers Rag Week in the Red

BY MARK BRIDGE than its organisers and potential The Royal College of Science slaves as being present in the Union's Beer Festival failed to UCH last thursday. Although make a profit this year leaving some of the regular events of the Rag Week in the red. The week, including the flannings Festival normally returns a performed by the Hit Squad, healthy amount for Rag's chari- have been popular, the Mines ties, but has fallen victim to the Dirty Disco was under-patron- dearth in interest that has blight- ised. ed Rag's efforts this year. Although Rag actually The Beer Festival itself played very little part in the caused irritation for College and actual organisation of either of Union alike as neither College the events beyond providing the Catering, Estates, nor any of the float for the Disco, and the capi- college licensees said they were tal for the Beer Festival, Rag offi- consulted about the event. cers are angry- at the Royal Further, a senior Rag source said School of Mines Union because that Simon Cooper, the organis- they will not hand over they the er, was warned that a loss was proceeds of the Miners' Dirty very likely this year, as the event Disco event. had been running into difficul- In a letter to Rag the day ties. The RCSU have agreed to after the Disco, the RSMU have run several events to try and said that they will donate the make up for the very significant proceeds of their Disco directly losses, with astonishing reports to the charity they chose. Carpet Baggers! that over half the beer was not However, after further commu- touched. nication with Rag, the RSMU Before and after: a still-unnamed Royal Holloway student can be The other events of Rag said they might supply them a seen entering the Union on the night of Wednesday 11th of Week have also been hit by low receipt from the beneficiaries of November. The security video clearly shows the students leaving attendances. The Guilds Slave the donation to allay fears that Beit Quad just minutes later, bundling the ICU doormat out of the Auction could barely count more Continued on page 2 front gate while President Sarah White and Ents DJ Luke stand by.

RCSU Homeless Hawking Lecture Proves Popular The RCSU has a new Vice The Royal Albert Hall was he had changed his mind about President, Ken Pritchard who packed last week when 5000 the possibility of time travel. He replaces Ruth Child. people came to hear a lecture by said that while subatomic parti- Completely unconnected Professor Stephen Hawking. cles may be able to travel back in with this are the problems they In the most well-attended time, quantum theory dictates have with their new temporary science lecture at the RAH since that large objects such as human offices in Biology. page 3 1933, Hawking explained why beings certainly could not. TWO . FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 NEWS continued from page one the RSMU executive taking an the miners have just walked off increasing dislike over the past with the money. few years to Rag's methods for News in brief The RSMU organisers have raising money, believing they complained bitterly that Rag did lacked any ethos. BY MARK BRIDGE ...and Last Week's not clear the customers out of Rob Park, speaking for the The man who was arrested and Da Vinci's before the event or Royal College of Science Union, Another Hall Burglary charged with attempted burglary provide a cloakroom; both of felt that more publicity would Olave Hall, one of the college in Weeks Hall last week is still in which had customarily been part not have gone amiss. "You need halls on Knightsbridge, was vis- custody. He is refusing to of Rag's responsibilities. But the publicity all the time," he said. ited by a burglar last Monday, answer any questions. acrimony between Rag and the "When I told some people about probably entering via a door that He was apprehended when RSMU goes back further, with the event [after it had hap- was left propped open. The thief a student contacted Security pened] they were interested like broke into two rooms and stole after she became suspicious of anything". over a hundred pounds of cash. his intent. He had barged into On a happier note, Austin her room and claimed he was Jones of the City and Guilds ...and Another looking for a toilet. Union said that they raised at Linstead - A man was seen leav- It is believed that the man least £200 (the figure excludes ing a room carrying a jar of tea. may be a part of a trio of thieves sums collected by Rag members He asked for some milk and left. targeting IC this year. at the event). He added, though, A small sum of cash and a watch that a greater sum may have were later reported missing by Discipline Problems been collected if the sabbaticals the occupant. This follows the A fourth year RSM student who took part in the Slave Auction. arrest of another intruder in kicked a hole in a plasterboard That is not to say, however, that Weeks Hall on the 21st. wall in the Concert Hall faced a the Sabbaticals have not been Police sources advise people Union Disciplinary earlier this getting involved, as proved by who see someone suspicious week. The Committee accepted Sarah White, who was flanned should try. and record their facial his story that he thought it was a twice during the week by the Hit features and actions and call solid brick wall and levied a £20 PHOTO: DIANA HARRISON Squad. security. fine. The door's open, but nobody's Rag officials were unable to coming in. Interest in Rag has comment on the total sum raised been fading. so far this year. Welfare Snubbed by Prof

BY ANDY SINHARAY House thought that "it was an A union official was told her insensitive reply... they [the war- Calculator Ban in Exams request for information on IC dens] are there for student wel- disciplinary proceedures 'caused fare.. I wish the warden would BY ALEX FEAKES Now, the Board of a great deal of amusement' this re-examine his views, they College Examiners have decreed Examiners have said that it is week. Whilst researching for shouldn't be put forward in such that students will no longer be unfeasible for invigilators to be Welfare Week, Julia Knight, a blunt manner." allowed to bring their own calcu- expected to check that every cal- RCSU Welfare Rep, circulated a Although Prof New was lators in to external examina- culator has been wiped, and hav- letter to Wardens for informa- unable for comment, there was tions, starting in the summer of ing every student with the same tion concerning disciplinary pro- little sympathy for Julia's letter 1996. Instead, they will be calculator will 'level the field'. cedure for offences in halls. from other quarters. College issued with a standard depart- Departments around the college Professor Geoff New of tutor Dr Gareth Jones, who ment-approved model incorpo- were consulted on their prefer- Falmouth Keogh Hall gave the deals with welfare said that Miss rating the basic scientific opera- ence for the standard machine, only reply. He said that he Knight "seems quite unaware of tions. and three calculators have been assumed her request was not the student disciplinary hand- The move to exclude stu- shortlisted for further investiga- meant to be taken seriously, but continued on next page dents own calculators was taken tion. These are the Casio fx82 that if it was she was under 'a earlier this month at a meeting of super, Casio fx85s and the Sharp total misapprehension about dis- the College Board of Examiners, EL 532gh. cipline in IC in general.' where concern over the increas- Vernon McClure, the Professor New's response ing sophistication of the Academic Registrar, stressed was considered by many stu- machines was discussed. In the that there was no need for stu- dents to be sarcastic and dismis- past, the instructions to candi- dents to purchase any of these sive, though questions have been dates sent to each student listed machines, as some will be avail- raised over whether or not Julia's a group of forbidden calculators, able for familiarisation purposes approach was justified. Miss considered too powerful for the next term. He said that the Knight said she "was very disap- exams to be fair. Other calcula- examiners decision would lead pointed" by his reply, "consider- tors with memories or programs to "parity of treatment" and ing the serious nature of my ini- had to have them wiped before maintain the "integrity of the tial request." The House entering the examination room. examination." Chairman at Bernard Sunley NEWS FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1ST 1995 . THREE RCSU Homeless

BY ANDY SINHARAY card access that the Biology The Royal College of Science department operates. There are, Union will be homeless when Stuart added, "no possibilities they leave their current site this for people wanting to buy weekend. As reported in Felix regalia, tickets, etc." Rob Park, 1042, the RCSU is soon to move their Publicity Officer, added temporarily to the Biology "We'll have to store our non- department, due to the immi- essentials in the Queen's nent demolition of their current Tower," which includes the premises in the Old Chemistry Gestetner printer used for Building. The Union is scheduled Broadsheet. The property of the to move permanently to the president, vice-president and Civil Engineering Department honorary secretary is likely to get later next term. moved to Biology, with the The RCSU Honorary remainder going into storage. Secretary, Stuart Jenkins, told As for the Biology Depart- Felix that the current office has ment accessibility problem, he to be vacated by Monday, said that this "is being investigat- PHOTO: DIANA HARRISON though the Union is hoping to be ed by the exec" with a view to The gaping hole where part of the metal-sheet covering the roof out by Saturday night. However, increasing the access, though he crawlway has fallen away on the fourth floor of the Sherfield the room in Biology set aside for did appreciate that there was a Building. Fortunately it happened early in the morning and did not them is not available until need for security. Despite the injure anyone when it fell, and these ceilings are soon to be be Wednesday. difficulties however, it is hoped replaced as part of the refurbishment of Sherfield. Further problems are that they will be able to have "a expected with the 24 hr-swipe skeleton-type service running." Matthew Parris Meets IQ continued from page 2 the task for which she had vol- book, in which disciplinary pro- unteered. Miss White added that BY BEN WILKINS conventional wisdom". Scien- cedures are spelled out." Though she had received letters of In his column in The Times tists, he says, are often perceived he did concede that the response enquiry from some of the hall last week, Matthew Parris high- to be rational, objective and free was needlessly terse "I think you wardens who had been contact- lighted the difficulties faced by thinking, belonging to the disci- could be put off... though there ed by the Welfare Rep, express- homosexuals at IC because its pline most likely to challenge is an invitation to discuss this." ing surprise at the fact that this students, mainly studying sci- authority and religion. But he At present, students receive approach was being used given ence, were more prejudiced than suggested that in reality, scientif- guidance on disciplinary policy that such information was freely at other universities. ic thinking encourages a "narrow from the college published available. Parris, the first MP to come and focussed adherence to one Freshers' Handbook, and from Miss White maintained that out as gay in a speech to the line of study". He believes it fos- the Wardens of their respective Julia should really have been House of Commons, recently ters narrowmindedness and rein- halls of residence. There are no examining topics like student visited the college to talk to forces ideas about the inferiority set punishments for certain housing rights and similar sub- Imperial Queers, IC's society for of groups including women, the offences, which are instead dealt jects under the banner of "Legal gay men, lesbians and bisexuals. mentally ill and homosexuals. with on a case-by-case basis. Matters", rather than bringing Members of IQ complained to His remarks were criticised Sarah White, ICU president, college disciplinary procedures him that their group felt it was by Sir Walter Bodmer, who has was unsympathetic, claiming under scrutiny. "I'm not amused "quite a struggle to be open produced an influential report on that Miss Knight misunderstood by it... it was a waste of people's about their sexuality at this col- the public understanding of sci- time." As for the attitude of Prof lege". Their members say they ence. When he visited Imperial New, she said "It's just his way, suffer from a lack of respect and last week, he commented, FALMOUTH KEOGH HALL he's just like that... college staff even arrogance from their fellow "clearly we still have a long way are tactless sometimes." students. On several occasions in to go". The president of Imperial However, this still leaves the past when they have put up Queers, Ashley Lumsden, also open the issue of what many posters around college, they have disagreed with his reasons for consider to be the unnecessary been torn down. IQ members the prejudice at IC, he said, "I sarcasm and rudeness on the part envy the "openness of the ethos think because its a science col- of a hall warden and college pro- in colleges where not all the stu- lege, there are are large numbers fessor. "I think it typifies the dents are studying science". of men socialising with other wardens' views of students" said In his column, Parris reflect- men. This situation creates a Pub board Chair Piers Williams, ed on the fact that scientists on 'macho' atmosphere which does "it isn't very responsible to say the whole seem "disproportion- not lead to much tolerance". things like this." ately timid and deferential to FOUR . FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 NEWS Guilds Union Hits Cool Telescope Blasts Off

BEN WILKINS "Unprecedented" Low A new space based telescope, the first of its kind, was launched BY DIPAK GHOSH "unprecedented" low in Guilds' into orbit by the European space Recent elections for City & election history, falling signifi- agency last month. It will allow Guilds College Union's three cantly short of last spring's astronomers to see planets and remaining posts on their execu- turnout by more than a factor of star systems which are invisible tive committee were marred by three according to Guildsheet, from earth. Professor Rowan- the low turnout of voters. The C&G's occasional publication. Robinson of the physics depart- lack of interest in the three posts Austin Jones of the C&G Union, ment says "This is very exciting on offer, Honorary Secretary, who proof-counted the ballot, for IC because we are involved in Entertainments Officer and said the turnout was so low one of the major projects." Publicity Officer, has been because of the "lack of interest The infrared space observa- Very chilly: ISO is one of the coldest blamed on poor publicity. and notification, and only one tory (ISO) will be looking at IR places in the universe The posts should have been person stood per post." radiation, which can penetrate really been seen." he explained. filled at the last election in When asked how they man- the fog and dust that often sur- The results from ISO are due February but no candidates came aged to cope with three vacant rounds the objects of interest. around February and should help forward at the time. Another posts, he said that everybody had Earth based observatories cannot astronomers understand how election was required to fill the helped cover the work for each detect this radiation because it is galaxies evolve. Unfortunately remaining seats. post. absorbed by our atmosphere. there is a snag with observing The candidates for the Some commentators noted Rowan-Robinson and his col- infrared radiation. The telescope Guilds' Executive were elected that the elections were hardly a leagues will have about 215 hours must be cooled to around minus on 17th November, but only 57 good result for the Constituent of 'open time' with the tele- 270 degrees Celsius With liquid engineers bothered to vote, College Unions in general, let scope. They expect to find 10- helium, making it very chilly approximately 2% of those eligi- alone the C&GU, and should 20,000 new galaxies ,"We are indeed. When all the liquid heli- ble. This turnout, though offi- cause concern for their long- hoping to observe galaxies in the um has evaporated, in around 18 cially constitutional, marks an term future. process of forming, this has never months, the mission will end.

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"Nuclear testing." from. Away from the research centre in the armament is concerned. Every time I hear these words, I remember Pacific Ocean, the 'qualified' politicians in So what shall we do? I am not sure how uncomfortable it is sometimes to be a Paris are meant to be making the appropriate whether such an incautious boycott on the French citizen. People are very often decisions. It looks like the recently elected Beaujolais Nouveau, (as an advert in last tempted to associate your ideas as an president, Mr Jaques Chirac, excels in the week's press proposed) is really a powerful individual with your government's actions. art of cultivating paradoxes. Regardless of his persuasion tool. The problem is far beyond Resolved to keep a low profile, I wish to shed troubles at home, his international that. The president must first realise that his some light on the current controversy engagements are enough to highlight these interest lies in a better international co- regarding nuclear testing. contradictions. By pretending to favour the operation. Once his credibility is lost, any Firstly, let's consider the scientist's completion of the nuclear program, he tried other involvement of the country in other arguments, as they do not pretend to carry to revive the tradition from the era when the fields will not be trustworthy. Economic out such experiments for the consequences particularly benefit of debate. It seems are far from negligible. that for research's needs, this Concerning the field of testing will help to refine the research, it seems rather existing numerical model for childish to aspire to a the explosion of nuclear better modelling of devices. Secondly, there is a devices that are already safety concern involved. In sufficiently powerful to fact, scientists argue that they kill an entire population. need to explode nuclear Is it a matter of how deep devices to assess the effect the radiation is going to that long term storage has on penetrate their bodies? them. They have to make sure How quickly a ninety- that weapons will still be safe nine kilometre long city as they get older and older. Exploding tests were previously performed. At the can be destroyed? The population is not twenty year old devices might reveal same time, he initiated and promised to sign going to survive anyway. modifications that should be made to ensure the international treaty of non-proliferation The future orientation of research safety. This seems to be one motivation for of nuclear weapons. should be towards improving safety and carrying out the tests. In parallel, the people Since Descartes, the French have been should forget about improving existing in charge are zealous professionals seen as rather logically minded, but for some weapons. I doubt the latter is absolutely performing their tasks as well as their skills reason, this time the transmission of the necessary for the security of the country, allow them to. As fundamental researchers inheritance failed. In spite of the vehement particularly at a time when the expansion of they will never accept they they are limited protests from people with the slightest worldwide communication should bring in their approach by anything other than amount of common sense, a research matter about a better understanding between their own intellectual facilities. All the same, has become the guarantee of monsier le countries. And if this doesn't happen, at least a researcher in genetics would not give trp his president's determination and independence. a better knowledge of your opponents' research on human gene alteration on the I am still wondering to what extent a motivations can be used as a basis for grounds that it could produce a degenerate government can impose its action against mediation in a crisis. creature. It's an intrinsic part of the general opposition before becoming Now that things have been explained, I dynamics of research to go beyond the limits. dictatorial. Remember that Chirac won the leave the last word to the French ambassador On the other hand, these scientists elections with a small majority and that the in Guatemala who said: "Peace is a delicate depend on their country which sponsors and greater part of people in the country are matter which ought not to be left in the controls them. That is mainly where the opposed to his measures. This is especially hands of pacifists." political interference in their work comes apparent where the future of nuclear Sabine Louet

Sabine Louet is from Brittanny, and is at IC to do a MSc in Science Communication. With a bit of luck her offering will be the first of a semi-regular Foreign Objective, looking at international issues from the perspective of IC's overseas population. We would like to hear from any Nigerians out there, or perhaps there are a few Americans who could explain Newt Gingrich to the rest of us, or Irishmen with strong views on divorce. And if there's anyone from ex-Yugoslavia, you've got a lot of explaining to do... 3 floors of festive magic TOP FLOOR 6 HOURS OF UPFRONT CLUB SOUNDS 3 COLOUR LASER SKI § FIRST FLOOR Swing,Hi|> Hop, Funk* Jungle in the UDH GROUND FLOOR PURE POP FROM POP TARTS THE REGURGITATOR DJS GYROSCOPE m WW ® TOP CLUB DECOR THROUGHOUT FRI DEC 15th. 9 - 3am. £6 /£5

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Richard Willis, ex-rag chair, holds a pint for a friend (because of course if he was actually serving anyone that would be 'irresponsi- ble').

Ents DJ Luke looking stunning as usual. (Dress £59.95, M&S. Scarf £9.95 Tammy Girl

The Mines' Dirty Disco - this is about the only printable photo, believe me. (Don't ask about Eleanor)

City & Guild's Hit Squad turn a bored student into a happy flanned student. Beer, beer, glorious beer... Nothing quite like it "RCSU President in spontaneous trouser for getting the JCR floor really sticky. falling scandal!" EIGHT . FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 FEATURE

Let's face it, everyone has problems. Fortunately there are people who can help! It doesn't take much time away from home to realise that life without parents isn't quite the easy ride you would have expected. Childhood dreams of growing up evaporate rapidly into worries about bills, the chances of your condom splitting, and the fastest possible ways of escaping from your fire-breathing landlord. These and many other issues are the prime concern of a small (but noble) team of union officers and college staff. Hence Welfare Week '95 - a time for you to learn more about a bewilderingly large range of issues and pour out your pre-Christmas bank balance worries into the caring, shar- ing ears of Union welfare.

Your aims for welfare week: Ben Short, Equal Opportunities Officer Camilla Burnett, Accomodation Officer

Meet the Welfare team at lunch on Hi, I'm the Equal Opportunities Officer for Living in hall? Got a problem? This is what Monday in the Union Ents Lounge 12.30- ICU. We can only promote equality within your friendly hall accomodation rep is for. 1.30pm i.e. free food. our College if we know about any discrimi- every so often (2-3x a term) the Union Get educated - at the various stalls dotted nation or harassment that occurs. If you Accomodation Committee meets to try and around Sherfield and the Union. have any complaints, comments or sugges- sort out problems occurring in hall (such as Remember that Friday 1 st (today) is tions, get in touch. Contact: pigeon hole in recurring fire alarms at obscure hours!). World Aids Day. Statistics show that if Union, e-mail: [email protected]. The committee consists of a rep from each you don't know someone who is dying of hall, Matt Crompton (ICU Dep Pres), Stephen Webb (Welfare Officer), Grahem AIDS yet you will within the next few Sudip Dey Chowdhury, OSC Welfare years. Maybe it's time to get prepared. Daniels (Residences Area Manager), and In the meantime get yourself to the Benefit Officer myself. Contact: pigeon hole in Union and Disco tonight - all profits are going to be I am the Overseas Student's Committee's Biology. donated to the Mildmay Mission - with any welfare representative. My job is to take willing donations clutched tight in your care of the welfare needs and problems of Martin Thomas, Union Advisor sweaty little palms. overseas students. If you have any problems I'll be happy to help you. Contact: e-mail I run the Union Advice Office, situated on [email protected], OSC Exec pigeonhole. the first floor of the Union building. I can The College Tutors, Drs Gareth Jones assist with a very broad range of problems and Margaret Goodgame including immigration, housing, debt, hard- Anne Ovens, Women's Officer Drs Jones and Goodgame are the two tutors ship, harassment etc. and also provide infor- who oversee the college tutoring system. Hi! I'm the Women's Officer in the Union, mation on other specialist voluntary organi- This seeks to fill the gaps which can some- and I'm here to represent the views of all sations. The advice service is confidential times exist between departmental personal the ladies at Imperial College on Union and non-judgmental and is open to all stu- and senior tutors and their students, both Council. If you want to contact me about dents and staff. Appointments can be made under and post graduates. In particular it any matters, my e-mail is: [email protected], via the Union Office front desk (8 594 provides a forum outside departments and I can also be pigeon-holed in the Union 8060). Contact: 8 0171 594 8067 (int where student-staff disputes can be aired. office. 48067). Students can raise any matter in confidence with the tutors, the college tutors also rep- Stephen Webb, Welfare Officer Tony Cullen, College Assistant Registrar resent tutors on a number of committees and Dr Goodgame has a particular responsi- Hi, I'm the ICU Welfare Officer. That The assistant registrar assists students having bility for women students. Dr Jones: means I to to solve your problems and rep- difficulty with fees and grants. He also Physics dept. room 525, S x47805. resent you on welfare issues. But I can only deals with student loan and access fund Dr Goodgame: Chemistry dept. room 238, do so if you communicate! Contact: Welfare applications. For an appointment 8 8 45722. Officer pigeonhole in Union, e-mail: x58008. Tony lives in room 335 in [email protected]. Sherfield. Andy Sinharay, C&GCU AAO Sue Thornett, Day Nursey Manager Will Millard, RSMU Welfare Officer Hi! As well as labouring under the grand title of City & Guilds Academic Affairs Please talk to me about your childcare My name's Will Millard and I'm the RSMU Officer, welfare comes into my job descrip- requirements for children aged from 6 Welfare Officer. I have responsibility for tion too: I liaise with ICU staff and sabbs on months to 9 years, full time and part-time. the welfare of all RSM students. If you have all the usual issues (academic or otherwise). Please note that subventions may be avail- any queries, problems or suggestions, please Contact: C&G Union Office, S x58093, able from both the College and the Union contact me in the RSMU office or Geology pigeon holes in Office or Aero 2, e-mail: to help student parents with fees. 8 pigeon hole. [email protected]. x45120 for further details and a fees list. FEATURE FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 . NINE

Sarah White - ICU President ment if he happens to be free, and is avail- Loretto O'Callaghan, Disabilities Officer One of my responsibilities as President is to able in normal office hours including During your studies and work at the college deal with all welfare matters including hard- lunchtime. S x49430, office at 15 Princes if you need help to overcome any problems ship and academic problems. I sit on all Gardens. why not come along for an informal chat. If the College Committees responsible for stu- you are unable to visit Loretto's office, she dent welfare, and many others at University is happy to visit you at South Kensington, The College Chaplaincy level. At the moment, I'm partiarlarly Paddington, Clayponds or Silwood Park. interested in getting more input from The chaplains are happy to talk over all Loretto is also interested in feedback from mature and postgradirate students, and as kinds of life problems , whatever your reli- students and staff regarding the environ- ever want to hear all of your views on stu- gion. They also provide spiritual guidance ment in which we operate. The College is dent funding and hardship. Funding of post- and anyone is free to visit for advice or active in its efforts to improve access and graduates, mature and overseas students directions to a place of worship. The chap- facilities for our disabled community so any seems often to be neglected in the national laincy is situated in the basement of 15 information and observations you can pass debate raging around us, so please, please Princes Gardens and can be contacted on on will be invaluable in this work. help us to help yoir and future students by x49600. telling us about problems you encounter and Martyn Crook - Silwood Park Welfare how these might be tackled in the future. The Health Centre If you have any problems or suggestions on The Health Centre provides 24 hour care Officer anything to do with your welfare or the wel- for NHS registered patients. If students Problems with Immigration? Passports? fare of those around you, please don't hesi- and staff of Imperial College are not regis- Visas? Police? Boyfriend ? Girlfriend? tate to contact me. S? x58061 during office tered with the Health Centre, they can still Supervisor? Finances? Silwood Bar? hours. use its facilities during the day, but should Homesick? Want to know your rights? Just call their own GP for home visits and out of want a chat? Come and see Martyn Crook. hours requests. He can act as a first point of contact or to Don Adlington, Student Counsellor The Doctors and Nurses give general med- give you details of where to go and who to Don Adlington is the Student Counsellor. ical and occupational health care. Help is see. Additionally if you have an issue you His job is to help students who run into per- available for any matter such as stress, study wish to raise within the college this can be sonal difficulties of any kind. He operates difficulties, pregnancy counselling and done through Martyn. 9 x289 or 01344 independently of the other services in health promotion. The doctors and nurses 294289, e-mail: [email protected]. College, and his work is confidential. He can help with psychological problems and a will see students by appointment - almost consultant psychiatrist also attends weekly. always the same day - or without appoint-

Sarah White Matt Stephen Webb .. .. ICU President Crompton .., ,A w . Martin Welfare Officer 4 ICU Deputy

Ben Short ICU Equal Camilla — Opportunities Burnett Accomodation Officer

Sudip Dey Chowdhury OSC Welfare Officer The Hellenic Society Presents

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Friday, 8thJPece GREAT TL&L SHEFFIELD BUILDING Tifl IMPERIAL COLLEGE £5.00 C£iiS#lffideitts) jfcotrtT.C.Choir members, or on door ophisticated machines have become commonplace in hospitals. They >in monitor patients, perform imaging and treat cancer. But imagine if you S were told the operation you were about to undergo will not be performed by a human surgeon, but by a robot. Robots at the Cutting Edge

Picture the scene. You are wheeled in under a of Surgery general anaesthetic and connected to the appro- A Robot from Imperial has recently been allowed into the priate equipment by a team of surgeons. Then a robot inserts a probe into your body and soon operating theatre. Ben Wilkins finds out what it can do afterwards, visual and ultrasound images appear on a monitor. The surgeons instandy see the problem and mark on the screen the areas which need attention. Next, the robot is instructed, step by step, to make a series of incisions using its cutting tool. Thirty minutes later, the opera- tion is complete and when you wake up you will have undergone surgery which is safer, faster, and will take you less time to recover from. No, this isn't a wild vision of the future but a reality made possible by developments in robot tech- nology at Imperial's mechanical engineering department. Dr Brian Davies and Dr Roger Hibbert have developed a robot which is capable of perform- ing prostrate surgery by itself. So far several oper- ations have been carried out at Guy's Hospital in London - this the first time a robot has been used for surgery in this way. Dr Davies, who has previously worked with robots in manufacturing and powered prosthetics such as artificial arms, got the idea for the system when he was Look no hands! Surgeons at Guy's Hospital stand back and watch the 'Probot' do its stuff. approached by the Institute of Urology in 1988. Prostate surgery is a difficult, messy business. application for robots because they are very good progress via a monitor linked to a camera system It requires lengthy taining and involves (cross at not losing their way, they are accurate and can in the endoscope. "The surgeon is always in the your legs gents) surgeons inserting an endoscope perform many repetitive cutting motions. "It loop during surgery" explained Dr Davies, "he and a hot wire cutting tool into the urethra. The seemed like an ideal area to start with" he said. build up an idea of what is safe to resect as he surgeon must look down the endoscope from an However, an initial feasibility study showed tells the robot to remove successive sections." uncomfortable angle and cut away a section of while robotic prostrate surgery was possible, it The operation can be done faster and more accu- the prostrate gland whilst urine, blood and gore was difficult to perform safely. The cutting must rately by the probot and is much less labour runs down his armpits. Another problem is that be accurate, 'otherwise, you'll make make some- intensive for the surgeons. The research team are surgeons tend to 'get lost' within the body dur- one a wetter' as he put it. currentiy making further refinements to the ing the operation and need to retract the endo- After a struggle to gain funds for the project, imaging system. scope so they can get their bearings. Dr Davies and his colleagues were eventually Dr Davies saw prostrate surgery as an ideal able to overcome this problem and develop a Dr Davies has also developed a robotic system system which was able to operate safely. The for performing total knee replacement surgery. Telesurgery Soap Opera 'probot' (prostrate robot) is mounted on a coun- Traditionally, the surgeon has to manually cut the terbalanced gantry and uses a motor gearbox knee bone surfaces to the exact shape of the new Could robot surgeons replace human surgeons encoder to manipulate the endoscope probe. prosthesis. Accuracy and alignment are crucial. in the future? One popular idea is long distance When the endoscope is first inserted into the The robotic system uses "force control" which telesurgery in which the patient is operated on patient's urethra, an ultrasound probe scans in creates an artificial restriction on where the sur- by a robot under the supervision of a surgeon 5mm sections and builds up a 3-dimensional geon can move the cutter. For instance, if a sur- who could be in a different country. Dr Davies' image of the prostrate. This image is used as a geon has to cut a groove in the bone it will only opinion is that this would be undesirable, "You basis for the cutting program. let him cut witfrin that groove. If the cutter starts need to have the skill and judgement of a sur- Next the cutting tool, called the 'vapour- to stray away from the 3-dimensional region des- geon involved in the procedure at all times, sur- trode' is fitted into the endoscope. The vapour- ignated by the robot program, the surgeon will geons must take responsibility for the operation" trode is essentially a little roller with teeth on feel a resistance force. This allows him to cut the bone faster and more accurately with less blood He pointed out that if anything went wrong which vapourises the tissue and causes less loss. It also means that means a more predictable with a robot operation, who would be responsi- bleeding. The robot's ingenious mounting sys- result, so fewer revisions are necessary. Dr ble? "There must be accepted levels of liability." tem only allows it to safely remove small conical sections of the prostrate. But before cutting Davies believes this kind of surgery will also be begins, the surgeon uses a light pen to mark the applicable to other areas such as brain surgery, area on the ultrasound image which needs to be ear surgery and kidney stone removal. xm removed. He can then watch the operation £50 CASH PRIZE

9 - 2AM. OWE POUND FfcEE B4 9 iff

1 0 MARK WORLD AIDS DAY ALL PROCEEDS J WILL GO TO AN AIDS CHARITY. IMPMHAl COiUW.IJf ION BUST-A-GUT comedy club GET STUFFED! Fri. Dec 8th The Pub Landlord Bastard Son of

ROAST TURKEY Tommy Cooper CHRISTMAS DINNER AVAILABLE Julian Barratt WEDS. 13TH & THURS 14TH DEC £2.50 /£2 (entscard) VEGETARIAN OPTION AVAILABLE A.;- ". . doors 8pm simon baker from an unexpected quarter. On Wednesday, I found myself Another week passes, which in east London, and decided to means Christmas is not that far go to the Student Funding away and, for some of us, exams debate at Goldsmiths College, are just round the corner. Tis -1 \* * at which our dear friend the season to be worried. , Ghassan Karrian was a speaker, However, in this uncertain along with Ian Moss from the world, it's nice to see some NUS and Hb Dem MP David things don't change. I refer, of IPftfljf Rendel. The NUS call for grants course, to the latest episode in at 1979 levels by putting 6.5p the Hnstead saga. After a session on income tax raised a smile, of the Spanish Inquisition, a res- fHriUf'' but it was the questioning from ident has been expelled, and the jflHflk' the floor that had me in stitches. shutters of finstead bar, which ^>;»^4^ The first wasn't a question, tak- : seem to rise and fall quicker than ing on the form of a rant from a whore's drawers, briefly closed yet again. There someone who made Dennis Skinner look like must be something in the water this year, Mussolini. It rapidly emerged that she was a because it was never like that in my day. member of the SWP, who went on and on about the evils of the Tories and suggested, nay It made a refreshing change to read in last demanded, the abolition of Trident and the week's Felix some calm, objective articles on monarchy, along with robbing the privatised util- Ecstasy, in very stark contrast to that scrawled in ities in order to pay colossal grants and every con- the tabloids recendy. E is no stranger to Imperial, ceivable benefit to students. Another, from the making it a important subject for debate. The Campaign for Free Education (?!), suggested articles by Mark Baker (no relation!) and 'Iain that students left university with debts of £15- Bailie' (I did think the unthinkable for a minute) 20,000 (answers on a postcard as to how), and rightly put the scale of the 'problem' in perspec- criticised Ian Moss for selling out. When some- tive. This is not to condemn or to condone the one describes the policy that he supports as use of E, but merely express an opinion on the 'broadly in agreement with Militant Students' basis of the facts as they are. Legalisation is only to be told he's not radical enough, you know always going to be a tricky question, but one that you're in for a giggle. I never realised that any- should be discussed rationally. The review of body was, or could be, so left-wing and so 'Ecstasy and the Dance Culture', which I have detached from reality. The wonderful irony of read myself, captured the aim of the book per- enabling more working class kids to get to uni- fecdy, to present the facts, and enable the read- versity by taxing their working class parents into er to arrive at an informed opinion. One wonders oblivion seemed lost on them. I didn't ever think if any copies have reached the Wapping area. I would find myself most closely allied to However, I would disagree with the notion that Ghassan in such a debate. Still not sure about those who are for and against E can be divided him, though. on party lines. I know of very staunch supporters of the government at Imperial who are, through Nice to see another lively article from our personal experience, able to speak on this subject men's cross-country team, but no news of the with some authority. captain 'Swiss Cottage.' As for his mysterious One thing that I've been meaning to do for a soubriquet, the only possible inferences are in while is to attend the Bust-A-Gut Comedy Club connection with a London district or an at the Union, so far to no avail. Nevertheless, this unspeakable act in a Genevan public toilet. You week has not been without the odd laugh, albeit pays your money, you takes your choice.

ICU BARS & CATERING REQUIRE STAFF GOOD RATES OF PAY. VARIABLE HOURS APPLY TO MICK (BARS) OR IAN (CATERING) Ca/SVi HE UNION IflR singles gig/intemew: built to spill reasons. If they go with a spirit of discovery then + foo fightersvik that's okay but if they just go to get angry then..." Later that evening, Built to Spill take to the Academy stage and deliver a set that's low on incident but high on accomplished playing. Doug is obviously a seasoned veteran in handling hostile crowds (although this crowd is persistent in its ness. Both are unoriginal. polite applause) and responds to shouts for Foo Fighters with, "No, sorry. We are Built to Spill. Look out tor this band. This That's Built (pause) to (pause) Spill." infectious, '80s guitar based The band leave with a parting shot to the whirl is a sure sign of great We're sitting in some far from salubrious sur- crowd of, "You've been something else." Who roundings in Brixton Academy. Built to Spill's said Americans have no sense of irony? dressing room adds a new dimension to the Thanks to the inter-band songs on the PA, I phrase, 'Back to basics'. No chairs, tables or heat- didn't have to think too hard for a written link ing here. Just a floor and a cooler box with some between Built to Spill and Foo Fighters. Gloria A jay/, influenced riff under a bottles of beer and water. Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' sums up Dave Grohl's Not that this seems to phase Built to Spill. transition from Nirvana drummer to guitar-wield- You see, they are not your typical band. They're ing frontman of the Nirvana legacy perfectly. just four ordinary guys who make music and have The eponymous debut album is packed to stumbled upon a worldwide tour supporting a the brim with uplifting songs that sound like encountered - buy the live major band. They're not even too bothered about Grohl is just glad to be alive after all the emo- that. Guitarist, vocalist and band mainstay, Doug tional turmoil of the last eighteen months. Tonight Martsch articulated his lack of enthusiasm: they are played with a reckless punk abandon that "Sometimes we like being on tour but it's a gives the anticipation-frenzied crowd the good, bit boring because we're playing the same songs clean fun that they have been salivating for. every day. I'm actually looking forward to leaving." The biggest cheers are saved for the first two A major contributing factor to this seemingly singles, 'This Is A Call' and 'I'll Stick Around', but blase attitude is the fact that Doug has his girl- the whole set, from the dreamy 'Floaty' through friend and an eighteen month old baby. He is a to the charging Good Grief (which Grohl otters lot more exuberant about that part of his life. to play "The Pixies way or the Def Leppard way" and unsurprisingly is coerced into choosing the "My son totally changed my life. My girl- Psychedelic Fur friend and I chase him round the house all day! former option), is an enthralling, energetic ride. He's really into our music. For some reason, he 'I Will Survive' may summarise Grohl's only wants to hear our CD and gets upset if any- progress to date but Til Stick Around' is more one changes the music. I think that my girlfriend than an appropriate signature tune for him and is a bit p***ed off with the album now." the band from now on. The album in question is 'There's Nothing Wrong With Love'. With its cellos, distinctly non- doesn't live up t< aggressive stance and progressive musical mean- dering you wouldn't think that it would be a fetish Starts all Sn for Foo Fighters' fans (alliteration, anyone?). like with lu Predictably, this does not seem to bother them liilllllii either, as cellist John Mahon explained: "We just hope that people are willing to lis- ten. Too many people go to shows for the wrong gig: moondog JT. mr. trout alities (and drug preferences) of each band mem- Stef Kami! Carlens is better known as the driving ber presented themseves in an intoxicatingly sub- force behind dEUS, but it is with Moondog Jr. tle way. that his creative brilliance shines through. Stef, though, was the man ranning the show, Moondog Jr. are simply incredible. On first hear- and he managed to blend raw sulphate energy ing, they can be best described as a with a near vulgar display of sincere emo- bizarre mix of Nirvana, Bob Dylan, Tom tion, in a way not seen since Cobain. He Waits, Rage Against the Machine, even carried off a truly brilliant cover of Madness, and a hefty dollop of free form "Jackie" (you know, the one where the jazz. On record they are weird, but guy wants to be for only an hour, just an strangely engaging. Live, they are breath- hour every day, if he could be for just one taking. little hour, cool, in a stupid-ass way), : ; In the normally reserved and super something which demonstrated the AAAAB -."A cool atmosphere of the Camden Jazz extreme diversity of the band. Cafe, their deliberately understated start Going home, I couldn't help tfrinking I'd A'A; somehow managed to enthrall everyone present. discovered a whole new world. Moondog Jr. will From the frightening solo blues songs to the near never be on Top of the Pops, but this is no reason mosh frenzy of the funkier numbers, the person- to ignore their obvious talent. listings: album: melissa etheridge - This is a bit "I a shame, as the re* l< musii lie produce-, is v , w, > .. ;., werthan bush + place! :pllpdec ->fa2 - you? " secret», bands such as Bon 'ovi are i huming out I I- i

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|rejg|^^^^^| - . her : ; we :.i:: rre ; ei owl; ' : i Re* k, v ith lyrics about how terriblS man (or how she Josi - d lyrics men wei women. I Iowe\ er, it v\ras soon do oi - asionally slip dangerously losi I ird: dent tha ..... : . . /v. ' y ., ; : . : . that ! w: with Xiin'ii' .in Mid,. st vci ne, - onvi itible ev i Mel kheridge is very successful in the and one can see why she is so popular in the mersmitiaardb-£15.50, U.S.A., i immies left, right and i entre, ii i i, 1 ; M :i ioes not : >,'..!. voi'v .veil known here ["'Who'" was die j her obvious songwriting ability. I - when I loki 11 '!:- about: tin: hid pulp-flake thai + cast 17 +rob album). Tin-- is despite recent appearances on bi MelissaEtheci.b-1ansand thosi i MTV I ^plugged and 'l..u. r with Fools I lolland' not afraid tolxvonn | >ait -I tha 1w -xi'O,. uial Rii,

lojave 3 This ;-s i our .a its best. 11< ic.ire Mi- wet wet wet + H;U\ nn ie.su 4, 5, del emotions, dj ni tinkling ivories and Rachel Gossard and Neil I Iassard, the creative iperb '-In le guitar, i, hnunk enough, iiK driving force behind the shoe-gazers Slowdive, images of the Mc tin vour mind. have teamed up with some new members to At one- poim form Mojave 3. Tonight, their debut gig is a show- poignant mo becaus Neil has alison itttwet 6, 7 dec ~ royal case affair for the music industry and is held at the the >.s and cool and intimate Ronnie Scott's. : i Bosnia fx-ndii gig) 6 d< Arriving on rime, Mojave 3 slip, slide and skate across our emotions, tugging at our heart dec - upstairs at 'life garage--!; strings, and evoking an ever so delicate landscape, £5 ; somewhat reminiscent ol the eerie and haunting human league (i, 7 dec Mazzy Star. One song, 'You're Beautiful', is ' ii so, sedate and not a Jot dse But i I lis is i1 ;-1 >. shep buil empire -114,50 doubtlessly a nod to Nick Drake, while 'Pictures' Iisi. a to when you're feeling m< lam holy and on the amps. 7 do. - ta2 - £7.51) sounds like The Velvet Underground at their i -. ing into wtv K-et. :\ lojave In. ith eemg nl |vopie "< dec >-wernb1oy th.sheer beauty andol theii musi. rbpstufl arena- £15 :

' '; like fee i star' and 'Things Go o o academy Wrong in- batch ol new mater- Whci I 1 entered the Camden Palace the first thing i,l - ... 'Thanx', brought the whole struck me was the sheer vastness of the crowd '.-' '' drugstore i kathy mcenrty - venut It was not the size ol venue that you asso- \:\ i there was a 1 \ oi songs 10 dec - dingwalls - £7.50 1 eiate with Mega City Four gigs in recent times, iien is', the Megas re it, brilliant ! and t his was apparent from the sparseness ol the ill mm. Thanldnlk. tl n-. plaved So', 17, s fey arena-£15 i hea * the galliano f eddi reader + "he Megas entered the stage and ripped into ny Skies' with some vehemence. I low cur, C- lefi (amnesty international eon-: il little subdut celt ii ii hum.in rights) 11 rowd were slow to pick up on their enthusi- dee - roval (estiva! hall - Soon, though, most of the fans were jump- i^hricl and blisleiinu C7SO-4 1S 3 and down to the three minute, thrash, pop curtis sligers 11 dec shep

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Here I am, sitting in a dark, stonewalled hut looking out through the holes in the walls at the bright mountain outside. My legs ache from their climb up to this place, home to shepherds who are sole summer guardians of the livestock from many villages. Now though, the sun is beginning to set, and the goats on the pasture are being herded back to their pen next door, bleating madly as though chased by some ovine nightmare. The shepherd's son comes through door grinning, his laceless Adidas trainers contrasting with his shalwar qameez and pullover. He is soon followed by the shepherd himself who has been giving the goats their last milking of the day. His daily chores discharged, he turns his attention to his guests, putting a kettle on The green and fertile pasture was quite an arrest- the fire and offering some tea. For a meal, we ing sight 4000m up in the Karakoram mountains, supplement his homemade phitti bread with especially after an exhausting eight hour climb tinned meats and cheeses of our own. Not through remorselessly barren scree and boulder. quite a cultural exchange though, as cans of The name Karakoram means 'black rock', and Heinz beans seem to have made the long lends itself well to describing the land around the journey to some of the local markets, albeit to Hunza valley, a tiny strip of life clinging to a river, serve the foreign trade. deep within northern Pakistan. Later, after some incredibly sweet tea drunk whilst reclining across their blanket against India, becoming quite animated with covered floor, the old man talks to us, the stories of his behind-the-lines action. But alternating Burushaski with halting Urdu. I am now this erstwhile soldier says that he likes to aware of the fire glowing redly to one side, get away up here during the summer, as he completing the circle of our group and finds it too hot in the valley, and there are too illuminating his face so that it stands out from many tourists. During the winter months, the darkly receeding hut. This scene seems however, he looks after one of the many micro somehow removed from everything else, as our hydro-electric plants that have sprung all along cultures meet in a fragilehu t on the side of a the valley with development aid. mountain pasture in the midst of some of the This revelation was shortly followed highest peaks in the world. by a request for some medicine for his head, in As an opening gambit, the shepherd which he had a constant pain. Assuring him declares that he is still strong enough to knock that we would send some up with his next me on my head, even though he is three times supply of foods, the evening moved on to sleep, my age. Thus satisfied that he has asserted our own heads befuddled by the heavy himself, he goes on to relate his part in the war woodsmoke trapped in the low hut until it could escape through the roof. Up on the roof, I fell asleep quickly, only to reawaken a few hours later shivering and wishing that I brought more clothes up with me. Unable to sleep, I lay staring at the incredibly bright Milky Way until the dawn chased it away, s fii&rWAy. conscious that it was something I had never really seen properly before. Alex Feakes ICU Cinema Presents... TWENTY. FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1ST 1995 DIARY

friday Saturday Sunday monday 1 2 3 4 december december december december

Rag Meeting Gliding Club Gliding Club Student Industrial Society Gliding at Lasham Airfield. (R) Gliding at Lasham Airfield 12 - 2pm. Tennis room, upstairs in 1.10pm. Ents Lounge. (R) Islamic Society Contact [email protected] Union. (R) 6.30 - 7.30pm Sports Centre. Come to Thursday meeting first. (R) Fitness Club Pakistan Society Swimming session for sisters only. Fitness Club 12.30pm. Beginners body toning 3 - 5pm. Basketball practice in the £1 members, £1.50 non-members. (45 mins) union gym. Bring trainers! Contact 2pm. Intermediate aerobics. (R) 5.30pm. Beginners aerobics Kashif, Aero II, Saturday 6.30pm. Intermediate aerobics. (R) [email protected]. (R) RCSU Barnight Ents 7.30pm. Union Bar. Yards and boat Jewish Society Tonight: SEX ON THE BEACH - a races, with Jamie from the Ferret. 12.15 - 1.15pm. Bagel Lunch. night of swing, funk, soul & hip- christmas Dramsoc SCR, Union. Info : [email protected] hop. If you've enjoyed the OSC 'In Camera' 7.30pm. Union Concert (R) events then you're going to love & Hall. ADMISSION IS FREE. adore this. So, rumpshakers, it's £1 carnival Ski Club after 9 or free if you're here before Ents 12.30 - 1.15 pm. Southside. (R) 9pm, or if you've got an entscard. Well, you may as well get your Sunday Lunch available 1.30 - 3pm. friday Christmas plans sorted early. And it Standing Room Only - Live football: is only a fortnight until the end of Wimbledon v Newcastle. 3pm ko. ArtSoc term, so we thought we'd share 12.30 - 1.30pm. Union Dining Hall. what's in Santa's Grotto, ents wise. sunday Come and sign up for our many hellenic After much deliberation (and not a trips to Musicals. (R) little sulking) we've finally Concert Band confirmed everything that will be 5.15pm. Great Hall, Sherfield. Any society going on on Friday 15th December. stoic ability. (R) The ICU CHRISTMAS

"The Greek Evening" today will CARNIVAL k1Cks off at 9pm & 12pm The Rag Week Report Cross Country take place in the Main Dining Hall. runs until 3am, with a 2am bar A review of all the happenings from 5.00pm. Circuit training. Union Greek food will be served from (subject to licence). the 1995 Rag Week plus all the gym. (R) 20:30 - 22:30, live Greek music, Weather permitting, the Quad latest news . dance and drink will be there until will contain a coconut shy, bash- 12.30pm The Cat Club Show Dramsoc 2am! Members get in for £10, non- the-rat, fun fair darts game & As a preview to this year's national 'Creation of the World and Other members for £12 (price includes gyroscope. In the Ents Lounge Cat of the year awards, a chance to Business' 7.30pm. Union Concert food and some wine). we've got live entertainment from see last year's event which includes Hall. Admission £4/£2 cones. Also today you can find the an eight piece Steel Band, & Stevie an exclusive interview with Arthur, Hellenic Society stall in the JCR Starr - the Regurgitator - an act the showbiz advertising cat. Squash Club Night from 9:00 - 17:00 as part of the definitely not for the squeamish! lpm Short, Sharp Shock 8 - 10pm. Sports Centre. (R) Overseas Week.You can learn more The first act is on stage at 10pm. Short films and bytes of about Greece, try some traditional After the acts we've got the return infotainment. This week: bungee IC 2 nd Orchestra foods, buy tickets for tonight and of Pop Tarts DJs, so if you're into jumping and beer drinking. 7 - 9pm. Great Hall. All welcome. subscribe to the society. indie, 70s & 80s pop, & party tack, 1.30pm Level 3 fR) On the 7th of December the this is the room for you. Anarchic show including 'Celebrity "Electroacoustic Acroasis '95" will UDH plays home to "Sex on Price Tags', how much celebrities ICCAG see four five bands (the Hellenic The Beach", which promises 6 cost to hire for the day, 'Wierd 8.15pm. Weeks Hall basement. Society band, the"Wild Angels", hours of the coolest swing, funk, hip Corridor', strange goings on, with a Soup run for the homeless. (R) "U.V.", and "Duality") performing hop, soul & jungle for all you generous helping of music and in styles ranging from Rock to Jazz, rumpshakers. On the second floor comedy occurrences. Ents with Greek or English lyrics. Drinks there's the ski stimulator, and the YOUR HELP NEEDED Mon 4th: Standing Room Only - and cocktails from DaVinci's. Concert Hall will be transformed Sports: 'Fit to Drop' is our regular Sheffield Wednesday v Coventry Entrance is FREE. into a banging club venue with in - sports programme. If you are your - face tunes, a 3 colour laser, interested in filming, or any aspect monday dance platforms & top light show. of producing a sports feature, come The whole venue will look nothing and see us as soon as you can. like you've ever seen it before, with Elections take place for next term's drapes, banners & lighting giving it a committee on Wednesday 13th finance whole new look. This promises to December. Positions for Archivist be a very different experience to and Technical Manager are vacant. any you've previously had at IC. If you would like to take part come society Tickets are on sale now, £6 or and see us at lpm on Wednesday in £5 if you're clever enough to have our studio on Level 3 of the Union. Presents Abn Amro Hoare Govett: brought an Entscard, but buy soon VIDEO DIARIES a day in the life of a stockbroker. 'cos we guarantee a sell out. All of If you want to make a short filmed Thursday December 7th, and J.P. this festive jollity is brought to you item about an aspect of your life, a Morgan: an exclusive talk on global with the kind assistance of STA pastime, a sporting interest or just a markets and coorporate finance on Travel, based on the Sherfield subject that you feel strongly about, Tuesday December 12th. See diary Walkway. we want to hear from you. and posters for details. DIARY FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 . TWENTY-ONE

tuesday Wednesday thursday friday 5 7 8 december december december december IC Sailing Club Yacht Club Meeting Cathsoc 12.15pm. Meet outside Southside, 12.30pm. Lecture Theatre 2, Rag Meeting Physics. (R) 12.00 pm. Sir Leon Bagritt Centre. go sailing. (R) 1.10pm Ents Lounge. (R) Islamic Society Level 1 Mech Eng. (R) Skate Society Fitness Club IC Sailing Club Friday Prayer 12.45 - 1.45pm. Southside Lounge 12.15pm. Southside Lounge. (R) 12.30pm. Die Hard circuit training lpm. Southside Gym. (R) 5.30pm. Beginners aerobics. (R) m Labour Club Fitness Club Audio Soc lpm. Senior Common Room ConSoc 5.30pm. Advanced Step Aerobics 1.00pm, Southside Lounge. Want Michael Meacher MP, Labour Debate on Europe, 12.30pm, (R) to buy cheap CDs? Interested in Employment Spokesperson. All Brown Committee Room, Union. borrowing high-end HiFis? We have welcome. (R) Dramsoc it all... (R) Gliding Club 'Creation of the World and Other Fitness Club lpm. Aero 266. (R) Business' 7.30pm. Union Concert Circus Skills 1.15pm Beginners aerobics Hall. Admission £4/£2 cones. 5 - 8pm. Come along and learn to 5.00pm Beginners step aerobics Youth Hostelling Assoc. juggle! Union Lounge. 6.00pm Intermediate aerobics (R) lpm. Southside lounge. Take a walk Ents More info : [email protected] (R) on the wild side. (R) The final BUST A GUT COMEDY IC Symphony Orchestra CLUB of the term is a triple header, Fitness Club 7 - 10pm. Great Hall. (R) Finance Society so that's 3 top acts for just £2.50 or 5.30pm. Advanced aerobics. (R) 5.30pm in Huxley building. Abn £2 with Entscards. For your final Dramsoc Amro Hoare Govett: a day in the pleasure we've got Julian Barratt, IC Bridge Club 'Creation of the World and Other life of a stockbroker. "Come and see The Bastard Son of Tommy Cooper, 6pm. Clubs Committee Room, Business' 3.00pm. Union Concert if all the myths are true." See & Super Cockney "The Pub Union Building. (R) Hall. Admission £4/£2 cones. posters for further details. Landlord" [below] - a "wonderfully warped and murderously funny" Wine Tasting Society Ents icsf comic character as featured in 6pm in the Union Dining Hall. Get some cheap food inside you in 6.15pm: Going to the Ton. Harry Hill's Pub Internationale. Plus there'll be an Open Mic slot, so Whisky tasting with Tim Stanley preparation for a solid nights This is a pub near Waterloo, where that's about 60p an act. A top value Clark. £4 members, £5 non- drinking: all the sf people from the London quality line up to finish - but watch members. (R) Sportsnight Special - DaVinci's area meet monthly. Meet at 6.15pm catering offers chillis, curries, or the in the library. out for next terms listings. And if that's not enough for you icsf - Science Fiction dish of the day for just £1 between there's a final opportunity to 7pm in STOIC Studios: X-files #4 5.30 - 8.30. Mountaineering Club "CLIMAX", this week on a top pop http:Awww.ph.ic.ac.uk/moontg/ "FROLIK!" - a night of madness and 7pm, Social, Southside Upper tip. Aid it's free for comedy goers, unnecessary partying. 8-lam. FREE. Lounge. (R) or if you're there before 9pm. £1 Imperial Queers otherwise. 7.30pm. Further Info: Wednesday Christian Union [email protected] 6.30 - 7.45pm. SCR in the Union. http://pink.doc.ic.ac.uk/IC/ (R) (Right above the bar). (R) friday

Canoe Club afro -ca rib Skate Soc 7pm. Beit Quad. All levels Night skate. Meet 9.30pm welcome, and free instruction. (R) Southside lounge. Last night skate society of the term! (R) OpSoc Rehearsal 7.30pm. Sandy Wilson's The You can now subscribe to our Dramsoc BoyFriend. UCH. (R) society list and automatically get 'In Camera' 7.30pm. Union Concert mail on forthcoming events etc. Hall. ADMISSION IS FREE. Dramsoc Send to '[email protected]' the 'Creation of the World and Other command: ICCAG Business' 7.30pm. Union Concert subscribe list name your 8.15pm. Weeks Hall basement. Hall. Admission £4/£2 cones. name Soup run for the homeless. (R) List name is 'acs-members' Ents Your name should be in forename IC Radio Earn yourself some Christmas surname format. 10 - 11pm. Mark and Dave's metal spending money at Dan's BAR Forthcoming events are: monsters. Don't miss it! TRIVIA. There will be a £75 CASH Monday 4 December: Trip to the PRIZE: it's 50p to enter and the musical Fame and meal at Los Locos Ents proceeds will go to the ivlildmay afterwards. 5pm - 11pm. The penultimate Mission aids hospice - you can't Tuesday 12 December: Christmas chance to indulge your fetish for argue with that, can you? Bring a Jam at Club Koo with UCL, LSE, cheap plastic accessories and mock pen and pit your wits against the King's, QMW. sophistication, not to mention the intellectual genius that comes with Wednesday 13: December Blind tasty drinks... ICU COCKTAIL Davinci's bar staff. date event at City University NIGHT. Please contact [email protected] tuesday for more details and where to meet. thursday TWENTY-TWO . FELIX FRIDAY NOVEMBER 24TH 1 995 DIARY

Saturday Sunday monday tuesday 9 10 11 12 december december december december

For Regulars, see Dec 2nd. For Regulars, see Dec 3rd. For Regulars, see Dec 4th. For Regulars, see Dec 5th

Dramsoc Ents Christmas icsf - Science Fiction 'In Camera' 3.000pm. UCH, free. Standing Room Only Live Football - Only thirteen dhopping days left, 7pm in STOIC Studios: Simon 'Creation of the World and Other Nottingham Forest v Aston Villa on you know. And there's all those Ings, author, talking about his work. Business' 7.30pm. £4/£2 cones. screen in Davincis. lovely Oxford street lights to see. Ents m o n d a y A special Christmas BAR TRIVIA , Saturday Sunday with extra prizes, a crate of beer, plus of course £50 CASH! straight theatre Miller delights in the you'll never be able to sleep. Imagine dram soc idea of modern man existing in a sharing this room with two other tuesday world of mythical wonder: God people; there is nowhere to hide, Strange things are afoot at Dramsoc. charmingly paternal, Lucifer a loving they see everything you do, hear your Rumours of flying snakes and sinister and analytical child, and Adam every sound...in time they will know sheep abound, while some of the supremely ignorant and infinitely you better than you know yourself. societies more flighty members were trusting. Every dirty, guilty secret; every spotted in the throws of orgasmic Out of love Eve is conceived and regret you've ever had. And this will delirium - and this outside the with her doubt and desire are go on for ever, not even death will confines of any of our noble bars, the introduced.To discover what "other allow you to escape...because you're more usual venues for such business" occurs, come and see "The already dead. Sound like hell? It is; indulgence. Creation..." in the Union Concert the hell of Jean-Paul Sartre's "In It seems the explanation for all Hall, from Monday 3rd December Camera", Dramsoc's second play this this is Arthur Miller's "The Creation (see diary for details). term. of the World and Any Other Imagine being locked in a room Admission is free (see diary for Business". His only musical is an epic with no windows and no mirrors; a dates) so please join us for an evening and colourful re-presentation of the room where the lights are always on of intense and thought-provoking creation myth. Adapted for the and no matter how tired you get, drama.

'Bxj the Sri-Lankan Soc. oj Imperial college^ KARACHI in

CRISIS

Ethnic strife, violence and killings on the streets of Karachi

Approximately 2,000 dead so far this year

Government and MQM talks deadlocked and in disarray

Is there a solution to all this?

WHERE THE HERT REVER DIES' What has gone wrong? Why does Pakistan, and in particular Karachi, find itself in such a situation? Is there a solution to all this? Come and find out.

^ s-.oOV S Tuesday 12 December 1 DEC IMPERIAL COLLEGE EXHIBITION R AT THE^UNIORSOMMONUC^M LONDOEXHIBITION SWN R7d 6.00 p.m.

TICKETS £4 AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR Mech. Eng. 220

PROCEEDINGS FROM THIS EVENT WILL BE DIRECTED TO Organised by (he Pakistan Society of Imperial College. (Nearest tube : South Kensington) A CHARITY DIARY FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 . TWENTY-THREE

mountaineering club

The trip to Swanage: a fresher's for people to climb wearing only T- perspective... shirts and shorts. After a breezy first night, some of us went to Portland for This was the first climbing trip hard bolted climbs while the rest of the season, leaving on Friday went to Swanage for some more evening for Dorset. Amongst us there adventurous traditional climbing. was a number of freshers, none of Although some of us were complete who were really sure what to expect, beginners this did not cause any but we were rewarded in a number of problems. The club had sufficient ways. equipment to go round and the more We were lucky with the weather experienced members taught us what since despite it being late October it we needed to know so that we were was still warm enough during the day able to climb safely. During the weekend we were pop along to the climbing wall, just able to do a lot of different climbs off the Sherfield Walkway, to have a ranging from exciting climbs through go. Another good way of getting sea caves to strenuous climbs up sun involved is to come to our social drenched limestone. evening every Thursday at 7.00 p.m. Some people decided that the in Southside upper lounge. water was just too tempting so they indulged in a spot of cliff jumping. As proof that students are not entirely made of money the club president finished the day's climbing with an next diary after dark abseiling epic merely to retrieve an item worth about two deadline: pints. 518 On the whole, the weekend was noon, a great success for everyone and after the following trip to the Peak December District, we're definitely going to be regulars from now on. 7th Non-members are welcome to

Imperial College Dance Club Subwarden at Clayponds

A Subwarden post has become available at Clayponds. The starting date will be towards the end of 1996 with interviews being held in early January. Clayponds is approximately 2/3 postgraduate and 1/3 con- tinuing undergraduate (we currently take no first year under- graduates). It is situated 6.5 miles from the College in Ealing (Piccadilly line to South Ealing or BR from to Ealing Broadway + bus). The job involves pastoral care, organisa- tion of social events and enforcement of general College and Hall rules. We are seeking to appoint a postgraduate student or Post Doctoral researcher with a minimum of 18 months Including a demonstration by David and Lily Barker, left at College. UK Rock and Roll and US Amateur Showdance champions No honorarium is payable but the post offers free accommo- dation which may be suitable for a couple. 9th December 1995 in the JCR Applications comprising a covering letter indicating any previous experience that may lend weight to your applica- Doors open at 7pm tion, and a curriculum vitae should be sent to Dr D.M. Segal, Bar open late LASP, Blackett Laboratory, Imperial College. The closing Cost: £7. Black tie required. date for applications is the 15th December 1995. (Late appli- cations may be considered at the Warden's discretion). Tickets available /rom committee members or in the JCR/rom 6pm to 9pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays TWENTY-FOUR . FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1 995 LETTERS

the Dr and I have to speak terse- Letters to Felix: Curry Sc Fags ly to those reprobates involved? Captain Spooner &d Dr Bot EDITED BY JEREMY TI IOMSON Dear Felix, Perhaps it is that the Well there, steady as you go Blackett Smokers Lobby have chaps, not to cast any aspersions In a Scrape I had no idea that drivers were relocated, or maybe mid-term or such like about your persons, personally liable for accidents, stresses have become too much, but pertaining to your anhumor- Dear Felix, especially third party. Call me a but I feel that I have been roused ous pseudonomic suggestion At the last Council meeting it optimist, but I thought that was to pop forth my two-penneth (suspicious alliterative?) should was decided that £300 (a reduc- what insurance policies were for. into the smoke pit. It seems that it not read, so to say, 'Dr tion from £487.03) should be £487 to repair some scratches? in the JCR it has become a new Spooner', the stablemate of the paid by myself and the Sailing They could buy new panels for and funky to display ignorance esteemed Mrs Malaprop, or is Club for the repair of several that. They probably did. and disrespect; you can practical- this this a case of 'no relation' paintwork scratches on one of the ly see the two dimensional eh? I think we should be told, newer minibuses. As the driver at Musos Nabbed thought bubbles reading "Bog off, ramble, etc. the time of the accident, the if I want a fag I'll 'ave one" float Union insurance policy makes me Whilst relaxing in the tranquillity from one end of the room to the And Now... liable for an excess payment of of Da Vinci's last Friday evening, other. The unfortunate no smok- £500 on any damage done to the in the midst of the usual collection ing signs peep dejectedly from My response to C Unwin's letter bus whilst I am responsible for it. of student and non-popstar types, behind last week's posters, hop- last week regarding student (Incidentally, this includes dam- it came to our attention that there ing beyond hope that someone grants: age by a third party). was an intruder among us. The might take notice of them. Our major competitors ask stu- Firstly, the Union staff have intruder of which we speak is not The final blow occurred dents to pay in full their living handled the matter badly in every, one of the usual brigade of door- whilst queueing for a vegetable expenses in addition to their fees. respect. The incident occurred in mat thieves or hockey players, but bargain at the curry bar. Ahead of I must emphasise again that it is June. My driver's card has been instead one of the star spangled me in the queue stood a slovenly, the people in the street; the post- on hold ever since. It has taken 5 pop crowd, who for some reason though not unattractive youth. man; the brick layers; the clean- months (and several meetings) so had chosen to grace our hallowed He purchased his box in a man- ers that are helping to pay for our far to reach this conclusion which halls. The one and only Jake. ner apparently ignorant of com- education. Never forget that we I am greatly unhappy with. Shillingford, of 'My Life Story' mon etiquette, the reason, I char- will become the high earners of Secondly, the amount I was fame, was downing a merry bevvy itably suggest was the Lambert & tomorrow- we have a responsibil- initially expected to pay was not of the Union's best. Butler King Size gently nestled ity to taxpayers, and let's not lose greatly different from the £500 I At first we thought an like a new born puppy (beagle, sight of that for one moment. would be charged if I had written impromptu gig was the order of probably) into the damp corner Geoff Boon off the bus! The point I was try- the day, only to remember that of his mouth. The ash had Vice Chairman of ConSoc ing to make at the Council was the fluffy bunnies had already reached formidable proportions that, although I accept to pay a played their last gig of the year a and threatened to free itself from What utter twaddle. 'Major reasonable excess on damage , I week earlier at the LA2. A gig that the glowing butt to parachute competitors' do not all expect feel that my signature on the bot- we would like to point out was delicately into the serving trolley students to pay their own way. If tom of that insurance policy was chuffing ace. below. If it had not been for my they did, wouldn't that ensure taken to mean "IOU £500". No We would be very grateful if desperate appetite I fear I may that university remained elitist effort at all was made to keep the powers that be could inform have passed out. and exclusive? Also, I do not repair costs down on my behalf. the world whether or not this is The point to this IS , though have a responsibility to any 'tax I hope that the Union Staff going to be the start of an amazing the JCR is designated a no smok- payer', except myself and possi- have learnt a lesson from this one trend of popsters popping in for a ing area there are a growing num- bly my dad. It is the government and make the effort to clear up pint on a Friday night or just ber of people who smoke regard- that takes the taxpayers' money future incidents quickly and pro- Mark's mate making a merry one- less. An impromptu headcount that is responsible for seeing it fessionally. off. revealed that all these people used wisely. I hardly think the taxpayer would accuse the gov- Regarding the Union's insur- With love, could quite happily fit into the ernment of wastefully squander- ance policy, it seems obvious that lake and Mark area between the JCR and the ing money on education. something should be done to pro- Senior Dining Area. However, as tect Union drivers against the Could be. Not only have 'My it seems smokers prefer, quite Grants are not gifts but excess. I urge other concerned Life Story' been seen struggling rightly, to smoke their own investments. If the government drivers to put pressure on the through sturdy swathes of smoke, they prefer to further wants to see able people excel, Union to make it more sympa- shouting sportsmen, but the their hobby in places where the then they must allow them the thetic to those of us that make unique Henry Kelly recently air is clean. But as Dr Bot so vir- means to do so. The alternative club trips possible. Don't wait reclined among the rancid rev- tuously says, they can just bog off is the age old idiocy of educating until it stings you' eller's refuse in the reputable Da and smoke in the smoking area - the affluent and having a coun- Sarah Wingrove Vinci's Bar. which has a splendid view of QT. try run by sheltered out-of-touch Mech Eng TV So I'm told. What is to be done? Will the rich fools. Ring any bells? Union take it in its stride or will LETTERS & EDITORIAL FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 . TWENTY-FIVE

Dear Rachel, ity or authority of". Not the cor- I must complain in the rect word to use in this case at strongest possible terms over all. Oh no. Felix your misrepresentation of me in FOUNDED 1949 last week's Felix. I did not say Right to Reply? (hope not) PRODUCED FOR AND ON BEHALF OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION that ConSoc 'disclaimed' the PUBLICATIONS BOARD views of its chairman, only that Dear Felix, PRINTED BY THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION PRINT UNIT his views were not necessarily Congratulations, you've BEIT QUAD PRINCE CONSORT ROAD LONDON SW7 2BB those of ConSoc and more done it again. Offended so many TELEPHONE/FAX 0171 594 8072 importantly the views of the members of ConSoc, they all EDITOR: RACHEL WALTERS Conservative Party (look in your have to write in and complain. PRINTERS: ANDY THOMPSON AND JEREMY glossary of journalistic terms, Maybe they're complaining BUSINESS MANAGER: JULIETTE DECOCK this is not the definition of a dis- because you wrote what Mr ADVERTISING MANAGER: WEI LEE claimer, which of course has Gummer said, not what the vast COPYRIGHT FELIX 1995. wider legal implications). In majorities of right wingers pre- ISSN 1040-0711 effect he was expressing his per- sent thought he said. Still, I sonal views and not acting in his hypothesise, maybe ConSoc nice people agreement that it was 'a difficult capacity of ConSoc chairman, as were right and you presented a issue' and that we were in need which I believe he still has the massively biased account of the I honestly cannot believe of a standardised policy on the strong support of ConSoc mem- proceedings. Shame they Geoff New's response to the subject. They all said then that bers, including myself, to contin- weren't organised enough to RCS letter enquiring about disci- they were working on a coherent ue. He should not, I believe have send in one complaint, you got plinary procedure. Now I know statement on the subject over therefore signed himself as the two, so they both had to be edit- the RCS have been known to be the summer and would publicise ConSoc chairman on the letter in ed. What efficiency. a little tiresome in their day, but it in Felix early in the new acad- the same way that MPs and min- It also seems that you have I am incredulous that someone emic year. You heard it here isters when writing to national detected a note of discord in appointed to their position so first. newspapers do not include their ConSoc. Maybe they are trying that they could be responsible titles on letters or articles. As to emulate their party by split- for the pastoral and social wel- photocopier press officer for ConSoc my pri- ting into so many factions it fare of students should respond mary concern is to see that party becomes impossible to credit to a letter of enquiry with 'Yeah, salesmen policy and the interests of each with the same beliefs. On I got together with my mates ConSoc as a whole are well and the other hand, maybe the 'Press and we had a jolly good laugh at More aggressive than the fairly represented both on the Officer' wishes to replace Mr your expense.' Conservatives and better at los- pages of Felix and elsewhere and Bayley. Just think, your very own I have a certain degree of ing your money than Rag, I am to advise the current member- John Redwood. sympathy with the question any- beginning to get quite fright- ship on how this can best be One final very worrying way: during those heady days of ened. Karl Strugnell, if you're done. In so doing I would prefer thought - IC ConSoc might be summer last term when people reading, I don't want to spend to work with Felix rather than our future leaders. Oh shit1.1. seemed to get caught smoking £728 a month on a Ricoh Priport against it in achieving a broad Maybe I should think about emi- dope on site every few minutes, I duplicator. Ever. range of political opinion on its grating. What - about America, endeavoured to find out what Now you know. pages... the only thing politicians argue the college policy on the subject Yours, about over there is where they was. Asking the college registrar, crimbo spesh' Mark Summers sit on aeroplanes. the senior tutors, security, the Julian Harrison Union, a random selection of Remember no Felix next What utter twaddle. Although Civ Eng wardens and subwardens and week: bumper Christmas issue editorial columns are tradition- Belgravia police station what on December 13th. ally a little glib, last week's How about malodious, they would do with a student Clubs and societies articles 'erratum' fell squarely on the Adullamite, inconcinnity, tra- found in possession of a joint and letters by next thursday accurate side of opinion. The montate or even abhorrence? gave half a dozen different would be mightily appreciated. 'Collins Concise Dictionary' replies. But there was broad defines 'disclaim' as "1. to deny I read with interest Rachel or renounce any claim or con- Walters' editorial last week, with EDITORIAL TEAM: nection etc 2. to deny the valid- its call for more left-leaning con- NEWS: ALEX FEAKES FEATURES: MARK BAKER tribution. fii: JEREMY MUSIC: VIK BANSAL CINEMA: WEI LEE | Letters may be edited for It strikes me that the Labour PHOTOGRAPHY: IVAN CHAN, DIANA HARRISON [ length. The guest editor's ; party does not need any promo- & WILLIAM LORENZ I opinions are not necessarily tion in college - Messrs Bayley SPORT: JONATHAN TROUT PUZZLES: CATFISH those of the editor. and Boon of ConSoc are doing a SCIENCE: BEN WILKINS CLUBS AND SOCIETIES: SANDALS \ Deadline for letters in Felix perfectly good job of it with their 1044: 6pm Thursday non-stop whinging and petty COLLATING LAST WEEK: I Please bring your union bickering. Good work fellas! MARK, TIM, JEREMY, ALEX, BEN, AND DAVE & RUSSELL (A BIT) \ card for identification. J Teale Chem II DELIVERIES: MARK TWENTY-SIX . FELIX FRIDAY TST DECEMBER 1995 CROSSWORD AND SMALLS

Crossword by Clansman Union Parking Permits Due to extensive construction work on the main campus the Union will be losing over half of the student parking spaces previously allocated. All students wishing to apply for a non- residents permit for Spring term '96 must complete an application form. This includes students who have previously applied whether successful or not.

Forms are available from the Union Office and must be returned there by 2pm on Friday 8th December with full docu- mentation.

Across: Down: I. In situ, a terrible country (7) 2. Discovers a French painting 8. Boosts upgrades? (8) with hieroglyphic signs first! (8) 9. The food around Northern 3. Flower in the eye? (4) Careers Information side the Careers Office a few Ireland is degrading! (6) 4. No evil can turn into a good There are three careers talks days before the interview date. 10. Insect in trifle and cream (4) feeling (2,4) over the next ten days at 1.00 - Summer Vacation Training II. Planet goddess (5) 5. Reserved format has lost final? 1.50 pm in college. opportunities are now available 12. Heavenly dress gives brief (6) Tuesday 5 December: "IT in the on the database in the Careers flashes! (6) 6. Dictator is in after salt goes City" by Ziyad Georgis, Office. Apply to UROP for 14. Stun Nelson in subway! (6) off! (6) Director, IT at Lehman Brothers research opportunities. in the Clore LT. 16. Brett just came over for 7. Lashes donkey which becomes For more information and Thursday 7 December: careers advice come to the something to talk about (7,6) ill (7) "Careers in the UK Steel Careers Office, Room 310 19. Nothing before mum is badly 8. Cramp above the shoulders is Industry" by Dr Chris Elliot, Sherfield Building, which is hit by element (6) annoying (4,2,3,4) 22. Hard skin is insensitive, we Sales manager at Piling interna- open between 10am and 13. Primary British institute just tional (British Steel), in hear (6) 5.15pm Monday to Friday. ordered ugly French jewel (5) Materials G20. 23. English queen in awkward 15. Painting London Under- Tuesday 12 December: "Second position about money-generating ground upwards is superior! (5) Interviews and Assessments" by computer! (5) 17. Indigestible food has an To Rent Sally Chalk, formerly Graduate 24. Greek character in patriot approximate lifetime (8) Room in shared home in Recruitment Manager at army (4) 18. Tally around near this Fulham, £237p.c.m. Andersen Consulting in the 26. Admire final hearing device evening? (7) (0171) 7367824 / 5948223 Clore LT. (6) 20. Deform Greek character All students are welcome to Earls Court: single room in shar- 27. Magical stunt is successful gallery! (6) attend. No need to book - just ed flat available immediately three times? (3,5) 21. Bird is magical? (6) turn up. (0171) 584 8932 28. Martyr is burnt for being hid- 22. Bond adhesive (6) "Improve your Applications and den (7) 25. Dies, unfortunately, on the 15th of March (4) Interview Skills" is an Cheerful Friendly flat-mate Interactive Workshop run on wanted! Available 31/12/95, a Wednesday 6th December from small single room in a modern lABflASllAiB 2 - 4 pm in Huxley Room 344. Chelsea flat. All mod cons. Non IlSlliliM Sign up in the Careers Office. smoker student/professional li.Lobbying, l2.$cokk, U.Butt, IS.Antomette, I/.Nonplussed, Milkround Closing Date One is preferred. References required Near to public transport, shops, lllllllllfi on Friday 15 December. Hand in your applications on the day amenities, river, etc. £400pcm lififfH by 4pm. Details of interviews neg + bills/council tax. Please are call Jane on 0171 594 illillillllR 5723/0171 376 4328 llllilllM put up on the notice board out SPORT FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 . TWENTY-SEVEN

IC Ladies Rugby, affectionately FURTHER SUCCESS FOR known as the "IC Virgins", is Virginal Hopes Dashed IC KARATE TEAMS proud to be part of the fastest growing sport in the country. The BUSA Grade Regional Over the past few years we Championships were held in have blossomed into a very suc- High Wycombe on Sunday. cessful team. Last year's excel- The _ULU team consisting lent season ended in a victorious of Richard George and Richard tour of Ireland, which was Webster of UCL, and Imperial's enjoyed by everyone (particular- Chris Leach and Richard ly Mr Arthur Guinness). Tompkins were in the under-65 Ladies Rugby isn't purely kg category. Unfortunately, due about mud, beer and men, it's a to there being few others from great opportunity to keep fit and the Southern region, an amalga- have some fun, and to meet mation with a lower weight cat- other women; something of a egory ensued. Everyone qualified rarity at IC. Yes, we do get (excepting George, due to ill- muddy, and occasionally bruised PHOTO: WILLIAM tORENZ ness) to go on to the BUSA but mainly wc just have lots of IC Virgins' hopes to build on larly in the lineout which was finals in March, and the London fun both on and off the pitch. promising performances were once again exemplary. The backs boys took three of the top four If any women out there are brought heavily down to earth in ran poor lines and apart from a placings. interested in playing rugby, losing to the Royal Vets by 40-0, late charge by fly-half Sarah STOP PRESS don't be shy! Come along to any and this was largely self-inflict- Corneille at no time looked like Ladies' Hockey II 2 UMDS 1 of our training sessions. See the ed. With Catharine taking over scoring. This complete lack of (Hannah & Basil scoring) club notice board for details. If the captaincy, things went imagination and commitment is KCL II 4 IC SquashV 0 you'd like to meet us socially, downhill after conceding two simply not good enough and our The result could have been so then come along to our video soft tries on the wing due to an obvious regression in terms of different; it seemed that each night in Southside Disco Lounge absence of three-quarter tack- skill is embarrassing. player started well but managed on Tuesday 5th December, ling. Virgins need to recover their to choke fairly drastically. 7.30pm. For more info contact This aspect of the game is hunger and killer instinct if they Perhaps the newly appointed us via [email protected] or in most disappointing given the are to play the standard of rugby psychologist will renew their her Geology PG pigeon hole. efforts of the forwards, particu- they are well capable of. desire to win.

10 10 Nothing less than a great deal more

We are the world's largest business and technology consultancy. To build on our success we must continue to set the standards that others must follow - in the quality of our thinking, the quality of our service and the quality of our people. That is why, when we recruit graduates, we recruit only those who can deliver a great deal more than most in terms of performance and potential.

In return, individuals who match our high standards can expect nothing less than the very best: exceptional training; outstanding rewards and benefits; exciting prospects for career development to Partner level within a demanding and meritocratic organisation.

We would like to remind you that applications should be submitted to the Careers Service by Friday 15 December 1995 in order to be considered for an interview when we visit Imperial on Tuesday 16 lanuary 1996. ANDERSEN CONSULTING TWENTY-EIGHT . FELIX FRIDAY DECEMBER 1 ST 1995 SPORT

Specky FELIX SPORT Twat Twats Beer Random Soccer Matches Monster Last Saturday RSM, despite rewarded by an equaliser in the ously underrated Simon scoring Like lambs to the slaughter we a 'donkey' keeper, managed an shape of Si's delicate chip over his fourth goal in three games. got 'em and we got 'em good. easy win over Goldsmiths III on the keeper. The second half saw After having all the play in the Their attack, defence and mid- Saturday, crushing them 6-1 QMW resurgent, yet IC coped first half, and most of it in the field fell apart. Unlucky!!!! away from home. It was the pre- well with their continual pres- second, the "Donkey" came However, our skills were vious week's result, though, that sure, until the 70th minute when good and preserved his first silky and the hockey of a Mrjet grabbed the eye more. a quick break presented Hamish clean sheet of the season to safe- character. All goals were, of For all true sports fans out with a simple finish. The last 20 guard a 1 -0 win. course, Ferdinand-esque and the there, it was the upset of the sea- minutes saw QMW camped in Also playing this Wednesday Oxford reject scored a stunna son. The Premier League leaders IC's half. With only seconds were the RSM second team, who (reverse stick flick from the top QMW were coming to face remaining, a cross came into the spent their afternoon scoring lots of the D, for those who are Third Division team RSM. box to be met by the QMW cap- goals and being denied many interested). In their desperation The scoring was opened, tain who headed home only to more. they resorted to violence: surprisingly, by the RSM cap- discover the ref had blown for To say that the Royal Vet's Beermonster was whacked by tain, with his first for the club. full time.3-2! goalkeeper was the man of the the Specky Twat and was thus However two soft goals in quick Their most recent match match after conceding seven transformed into "Rhino succession gave QMW the lead, this Wednesday saw their sixth goals gives you some idea of the Woman". IC 7(Seven)-l but IC fought back, and were consecutive win, with the previ- utter walkover RSM II enjoyed. UMDS INDOOR HELL AT Rugby Teams Sort It Out ROWING? IMPERIAL

Imperial College Rugby finally SOAS running, but after On Sunday the 26th of Sixteen of ICs finest took up the got itself sorted out when they regrouping, Imperial's players November, members of IC challenge to become the recorded a seven-nil victory showed their superiority, with Boat Club participated in the College's Doom 2(the classic against Wye College in the first dominant forward play, swift British Indoor Rowing PC shoot 'em up) champion. round of the Gutteridge Cup. hands in the backs and a few Championships, held this year The quarter finals went with A superb first half display 'howitzers' from stand-off Welsh in Reading. IC's main strength seeding, leaving only 6 competi- resulted in an opportunist try for Git. was in the under-23 section, tors. The semi-finals were a captain Ian Oldham, which Kate A 'well rehearsed' back traditionally a student event. complete shock with the 2 high- (or is it Claudia) Mayes duly con- move then resulted in their new In the heats, IC finished est seeds being knocked out, verted. IC pressure after half fullback Giles 'Ladies Man' Gale with six rowers in the the top though David Ruescas had time saw Tom Salter stopped crashing over under the posts. ten. The fastest time for the admittedly set his configuration just short of the line after some Unfortunately he was not quite 2500 metre race was set by our wrong. The final between slick back play. so outstanding in the bar after- own Louis Attrill, finishing in P.Blakerman and C.Marston was The referee then seemed wards . an outstanding 5 mins 57 sees. one sided with Marston winning unduly keen to redress the bal- With the score 10-3 at the The U23 final included by a resounding 26 kills (or ance, awarding several dubious break, SOAS began to come back many GB internationals and frags) to 13. penalties against Imperial, with into the game in the second half, top athletes from this year's Sport? Hmm. Eric Cantona eventually taking but a well worked forward effort Cambridge University Boat TENNIS offence. Imperial though, held from Captain Courageous him- Race Squad. In the final, Louis firm, and solid form from John self allowed RCS to keep in Attrill finished first in 6.01, ELBOWED Esser, Captain Oz and Chopper front. four seconds ahead of Crossman helped to record an The last ten minutes were Sebastien Dawson-Bowling, IC Tennis II headed up to outstanding victory, where tense, with a series of 'out- CUBC's 6'9" monster. Sherburn, Yorkshire confident Imperial shone as a team and landish' penalties forcing RCS In the open final, the that their sublime talent would fully deserved their win. back; SOAS, however, managed German Ergo World carry them to success. In the Another men's rugby team to knock-on as they were cross- Champion Matthias Siejorvski event, things did not quite go to was also in action this week, the ing the line to the relief by the beat Greg Searle of GB by four plan, with IC beaten 71-37, but Royal College of Science, (RCS) scientists' entire team. seconds, in a time of 5.46. That it was at least a good effort. In who beat SOAS by 15-8. RCS This win was the best way to result put Louis third overall in summary: "We were miles bet- were absolutely bombarded in get avenge their loss of four the whole competition, beating ter, and they had all the luck." the first ten minutes by powerful weeks ago. many top Senior Rowers! Hmm. ADVICE OFFICE NEWSLETTER

December 95 UNION LEGAL

Welcome to the second ADVICE COUNCIL TAX newsletter from the Union SCHEME advice office.

Welfare Week begins on The Union now has a legal INTERNATIONAL advice scheme operating on STUDENTS & COUNCIL making sure that someone Wednesday evenings between TAX pays 75% of the full bill. ii, r '!'.''. 5 and 6pm. The visiting They Would get a 25% solicitors are specialists in International students are either housing or immigra- reminded that if they are cur- discount as only one non- i -n t , tion. The service is available rently paying 75% council tax exempted person lives there. Also, students living in par- ',i ' ; v; to students and staff. Those because their non-British ticular types of housing may , -i- I 1 ' 1 I: ' ' , > who are eligible for legal aid spouse has joined them, they , > ";,,.,.!< i i. 1 ' (on grounds of low income) may be eligible for full also have to pay council tax will be asked to sign a legal exemption following a via their rent (as the landlord will be charged directly). s|&|;;wfel|K|::;*Si Apt :ifi;'i; A &A aid green form. If you are not change in the regulations eligible for legal aid you will recently. If a non-EEA Anyone moving into different 11 - ' t ..,.,«, 1 .A' n still be given free advice. spouse is either prohibited accomodation should find out from working or forbidden to what their council tax >>'« , I ,', , . ,' Any subsequent legal work claim public funds, then the situation is before they do so. ' ' 1 >i(' V >i required will not be provided exemtion may apply. Contact liliPiPllllill free unless you qualify for the Union Adviser for further INTERNATIONAL , .' ; i i - legal aid. details. STUDENTS & CHILD 1 BENEFIT 'mi' -I : ^y:£\JP^£:y^i.. £§^£§MThe sessio n operates on a STUDENTS & International students with 'first-come, first served' COUNCIL TAX children are reminded that '1 i ' I).in i < <.* iv . > basis. You are recommended Students who share accomo- they can and should claim to check in before 5pm as dation with non-students may child benefit and help with i'. -' .>< only a limited number of peo- find themselves jointly and NHS charges. Child benefit is severally liable for council not regarded as 'recourse to AAs s , 11. i. , BlSti'SglS ple can be seen. If you want ,,,.,!', ',-..]..' to find out who is attending in tax. For example, 3 students public funds'.

!,...,,,'.',<.,!.,.. a specific week or require fur- living with 1 non-student

,.',.,!- , : ther details, please contact the would each be responsible for ' . - 'If ! ', Union Adviser. 6CSTRSV...?

caused by dehydration and Ecstacy is a class A drug so , ,.nf, -i^t: c-. i Recent tragedies concerning other adverse reactions to tak- manufacture, possession and il r 1 1' 'i '* i .-.,iit ecstacy, the "love drug" have proved it to be potentially as ing the drug, the causes of supply is illegal. It is also ' i .' . ' 1 .1 - .. l 5& A|lf1 which are not yet fully under- illegal to drive under A"l< CO !' ilOU ,(',i lethal as any other. Many known problems stem from stood. Taken over the longer its influence. Anyone needing impurities (and even poisons) term, it is thought that it may advice or counselling on any being mixed with the pure lead to psychological depen- drug-related matter should i',: '(ii^'ii; un drug in order to save money dance and possible physical contact Release on 0171 603 > I, ! A '. for the supplier. Added to this and neurological damage. 8654. are risks of overheating This Advice newsletter was bought to you by ICU & is just one of the services provided by your Student Union HOUSING MATTERS

Many enquiries have come you could take legal adyice. A. Your landlord may be strict confidence. The above into the advice office con- concerned that you are going scenarios may be familiar to cerning housing matters. Q. I signed a tenancy agree- to 'sub-let' to other people some but their inclusion does Some of the questions most ment for a year but I'd like to (i.e. charge someone for not refer to specific cases. commonly asked are set out move in with some friends. sleeping on your sofa etc). below. The Union produced My landlord says she will bill However, he cannot charge "Housing Rights Guide" me for the whole of the peri- you for having friends stay over unless it was part of your should be available again od. Is this allowed? from reception very soon. initial agreement. Even if he was certain that you were A. A fixed term contract is sub-letting would have to take Q. My landlord keeps calling supposed to give both parties legal steps to end the tenancy. A WIDE &ANGE' round and letting himself in to a degree of security. Your liiiiiSpli^plllillll make sure I haven't destroyed landlady could sue for rent his flat. He lives across the she loses but would have to Q. There is a leaking pipe in road and this is annoying me. show that she has tried to mit- my kitchen which has led to What can I do? igate her losses by re-letting mould and slugs appearing. your accomodation first. My landlord does not seem A. Your landlord is harrassing Always try and be sure you keen to fix it. What can I do? you and this is a criminal want to live somewhere offence. An implied clause in before you sign an agreement. A. Contact your local envi- UNION. any tenancy agreement is that ronmental health office and one is entitled to "quiet enjoy- Q. My landlord says I have to ask them to inspect the prop- ment" of the property. Try pay him extra if I have any erty. They can serve a notice talking to your landlord and if friends staying over in my forcing the landlord to carry that fails, your local tenancy flat. I have an assured short- out repairs. relations officer should be hold tenancy and this isn't in able to intervene. Failing that my agreement. Is it fair? All enquiries are dealt with in THE MONEY PROBLEM

Graduating without amassing students to borrow from any- ging" your bank for mercy. or no help with their funding. large amounts of debt is virtu- where, realistically, student They are there to help you ally impossible, particularly loans are (apart from free (and to subsequently make There is some financial help for London Students. overdrafts) the most sensible money of course). available from the college in way to borrow. The interest the shape of the access and Given that rent alone is likely rates are low and should you Credit cards are to be avoided hardship funds and externally to eat up your entire student fail to be employed at the end at all costs and if you are cur- there are trusts and grant grant (if you get one), it is of your course, you can defer rently propping up a credit making bodies who distribute important to budget your repayment. card debt or any other loan monies to specific target expenditure over the year. you should consult the Union groups. Any students experi- Setting aside part of your Also, it is crucial to keep your adviser on how to go about encing financial difficulties termly income to cover the bank informed if you are hav- reducing the repayments if should contact the Union essentials (boring things like ing financial difficulty. Banks you find yourself in dire hard- Adviser for further informa- tion. Managing what you rent, food, travel, gas etc.) tend to get upset when stu- ship. With a little reasonable have might still not see you will give you a better idea of dents take it for granted that negotiation it is sometimes through to the end of your what you can and can't afford spend beyond their limits possible to suspend interest course without extra help but to buy. without permission. This can payments as well (although it will certainly make a big lead to painful bank charges you will have to pay the debt difference. If you have to take out a and withdrawal of some ser- off at some point). student loan (and are eligi- vices (such as switch cards). ble), take it in termly install- It is basically a question of Post-graduate and overseas ments. While the College good manners and you should students face equally hard would not wish to encourage not feel like you are "beg- times and often receive little BEWARE BOGUS AUCTIONS AND MAIL 1. You buy a CD player and it develops a fault and you want Answers: ORDER breaks down after 2 weeks. it repaired. The seller tells 1) No. Under the Supply and The retailer repairs it but it you that you will have to con- Sale of Goods Act 1994, OFFERS tact the manufacturer whose accepting a repair does not breaks down again. You ask Sadly, there are people who factory is several hundred mean acceptance of the for your money back but are make a living by deceiving miles away because "he just goods. told you can't have it because others into parting with their sells them and doesn't know 2) No. As long as the car is as you accepted a repair and so money, and students unfamil- described and is "roadwor- can only have it repaired how to fix them." Do you iar with their methods are thy" (i.e. not dangerous) then again. Is this right? have to approach the manu- likely to be vulnerable. Two you have no recourse. You a) Yes facturer for a repair? examples of these are high would have more rights had b) No a) Yes street "auction houses" the seller been a trader. b) No which appear to be selling 2. You buy a used car off a 3) No. Your contract is with top quality goods at silly private advertiser in the news- 4. You receive a large surprise the seller. He should arrange prices and mail order sales paper. It was described as parcel. It contains a complete for repair. offers suggesting the recipi "Red, Ford, R-Reg. as seen set of dictionaries. Naturally 4) No. As unsolicited goods ent has virtually won a major £150". It's OK on a brief test you are delighted. However, you have two options. Either prize, and requesting some drive but it breaks down on two weeks later you receive a write to the supplier explain- sort of response (usually the way home. The seller says bill for £2,000. You'd like to ing when and how he can financial). Both these it's "too bad". Can you get send them back but can't collect the goods or alterna- schemes do operate within your money back ? afford the postage. If you tively do nothing. If they are the law but are both to be a) Yes keep them do you have to uncollected after 30 days or 6 avoided. Generally speaking, b) No pay? months (respectively) then if something appears to be a) Yes they are your property. too good to be true it 3. Your new washing machine b) No probably is. Buyer beware!

WGKLD AIDS DAE ^BtffflOW "HOUSING ^

Friday December 1st is For example; World Aids Day. The idea is * Services need to be main- 3 not just to promote preventi- tained and developed for peo- tive practices such as safe sex ple with HIV and AIDS. * Prejudice and discriminato- but to demonstrate support 0 and concern for people infect- ry practices against those ed with HIV and AIDS and to either infected or affected D educate people in order to must be fought. o fight prejudice. * More must be learnt about the experiences of other coun- The red ribbon is the interna- tries. tional symbol of aids aware- * HIVprevention must be ness, and was first worn in given a higher national priori- Britain in November 1991 by ty- 70,000 fans at the Freddie Information on AIDS, HIV Mercury Memorial concert at and related issues such as safe Wembley Stadium. It was ICU ADVICE CENTRE sex and drug abuse will be conceived in 1991 by a small DO YOU NEED FREE & CONFIDENTIAL available during Welfare charity called visual AIDS, Week. Further information is ADVICE ? based in New York. Wearing available from the IC Union FOR ADVICE ON ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE a ribbon will show your support but is only the first or by contacting the organisa- CONTACT THE ADVICE CENTRE. step in the fight against AIDS, tions on the back page. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT BY PHONING much more needs to be done. 0171 594 8060 LIST OF USEFUL Legal Action for Women LESBIAN AND GAY Terrence Higgins Trust Kings Cross Women's Centre CONTACTS HARASSMENT Helpline 0171 242 1010 71 Tonbridge Street Legal Line 0171 405 2381 WC1H9DZ GENERAL Lesbian & Gay Admin. 0171 831 0330 0171 837 7509 Employment Rights (Specific legal advice for women Martin Thomson, Union 21 Old Ford Street Positively Women on issues including domestic E2 9LP 5 Sebastian Street Adviser. violence, rape, racism etc.) (DEALS WITH ALL TYPES 0171 704 6066 EC13 0HE 0171 490 5515 OF ENQUIRIES) Rights of Women ICU Advice Office Lesbian & Gay (Assists women with 52 - 54 Featherstone Street Beit Quad Switchboard HIV/AIDS) EC1Y 8RT 0171 594 8060 (int. 48060) to 0171 837 7314 0171 251 6577 make appointments. (Info., counselling, & referral Blackliners (Free legal advice) 0171 594 8067 (int. 48067) service) 0171 738 5274 direct - answerphone when inter- (Assists black people with Women Against Sexual viewing. Gay & Lesbian Legal HIV/AIDS) Harrasment Advice 312 The Chandlery Union Sabbatical Officers 57 - 59 Cowcross Street DRUGS 50 Westminster Bridge Road ICU, Beit Quad. EC1N 6BP SE1 7QY 0171 594 8060 (int. 48060) The Hungerford Project 0171 721 7593 0171 253 2043 or in person at Union Office. (Advice, assistance on legal 32A Wardour Street (Free legal advice & support problems) W1V3HJ group) Health Centre 0171 437 3523 Princes Garden int. 49375 PACE (Information & Drop - in Women's Advice & 0171 263 6200 Centre) Counselling Disabilities Officer (Counselling for gay & lesbian 0181 692 6268 Loretto O'Callaghan people) Release - National Drugs Room 324, Sherfield int.48935 Helpline Women's Therapy Centre PEOPLE WITH 0171 603 8654 0171 263 6200 Nightline (6pm - 8am) DISABILITIES 0171 436 5561 Drugs Helpline London Women's Centre SKILL : National Bureau 0800 776600 ULU Advice Office 0171 831 1492 for Students with (Advice, info., activities) 0171 580 9551 ext. 225 Disabilities. SCODA 336 Brixton Road (Standing Conference on Drug RACIAL Citizens Advice Bureau SW9 7AA Abuse) Old Town Hall HARRASMENT 0171 274 0565 0171 636 7866 Kings Road Chelsea SW3 Commission for Racial Disability Law Service Drinkline 0171 351 2114 / 351 0487 Equality 16 Princeton Street 0171 332 0202 (Tel. 0171 251 2000 for Elliot House WC1R4BB details of nearest Bureau) 10 -12 Allington Street 0171 831 8031 VIOLENCE/SEXUAL SW1E5EH (Legal Advice & info.) ASSAULT Central London Law Centre 0181 828 7022 47 Charing Cross Road RADAR London Women's Aid City Centre 0171 437 5854 (Royal Association for Disablity 0171 251 6537 (Tel. 0171 387 8570 for Sophia House & Rehabilitation) details of nearest Law Centre) 32 - 35 Featherstone Strret 0171 250 3222 0171 608 1339 Everyman Centre 0171 793 0155 WOMEN PEOPLE WITH (Help for violent men) Minority Rights Group Ltd HIV / AIDS 379 Brixton Road London Rape Crisis Centre London SW9 7DE Victim Support London Lighthouse PO Box 69 0171 978 9498 0171 735 9166 London WC1X 9N.I 111 - 117 Lancaster Road (Securing justice for minority 0171 837 1600 Wll 1QT groups) (Support & counselling for 0171 792 1200 women who have been raped) (Counselling, support, drop-in Law Centre Centre) (Check directory for nearest Survivors (7 - 9pm) centre) This newsletter was bought 0171 833 3737 Aidslink to you by ICU Advice (Support for women who have 0483 300150 Centre. been raped) Design by Mamba Designs. National Aids Helpline With Thanks to Andy T. 0800 567 123