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Cooperative Extension Service Department of Home Economics College of Agriculure Cooperative Extension Service Department of Home Economics College of Agriculure January-February 1996 Ben Silliman, Family Life Specialist, Editor THE TOUGHEST JOB Parents who thrive need support from ROUNDUP ON THIS EDITION friends and family, agencies and YOU'LL EVER LOVE Topic Page organizations, workplaces and communities: recognition of their A few years ago, this motto was used Specialist Adventures Schedule 2 efforts, room (such as flextime) to do to sell the challenge of Peace Corps Gopher Hole 2 well, and resources ranging beyond work. It may not be Third World Cut to the Chase: Priorities 2 parenting classes to parks, children's conditions, but PARENTS, USA find TheoryBase 2 teaching hygeine to the uninitiated, museums, daycare and respite care. Then...they need "how to" classes or scheduling the disorganized, coaching STATS and FACTS: telephone helplines to learn about the uncoordinated, and mediating Parents and Children 3 sibling squabbles challenge enough child development, communication, nutrition, teaching science or art. for one day.Across the globe, parents It is Your Business: Effective programs help moms and display generativity-- nurturance, Single Parents Keep Balance 4 dads embrace challenges joyfully, productivity, and creativity-- in ways 4-H Families rather than protecting or lecturing. which become occasions for growth 4-H Projects: The P-C Challenge 4 and satisfaction to both generations. Perhaps our best cue for how to help A tape we received at our daughter's Smorgasbord: comes from what parents say: birth, "Earth Mother Lullabies from Popular Programs 5 *We can read more to know, but we Around the World" (Pamala & Tim Extension Programs 5 Ballingham, Earth Mother Prod., learn as you go...most of us are doing the best we can, so give us credit and Inc., 1984) illustrates the universal Encouraging Competent Kids help us learn from (and for) our wisdom of cuddling, rocking, and What Parents Can Do 6 experience with kids; singing to infants that child Activities to Build Competency 6 development experts find critical to *Please believe that my kids don't have frogs in their beds or lice in their emotional attachment, language Positive Parenting in at-Risk Settings hair every day...we don't act this development, and even physiological Taking the Parent Role 7 stressed (or maybe we do) all the wellness. Giving Parents a Head Start 7 time; The Nurturing Program 7 Children who thrive-- regardless of *Just about the time you learn what works, it doesn't...children change in culture, class, or family type-- get two RETHINK: Anger Mgt. for Parents 8 gifts from parents: warmth, or each stage and situation; empathize and help us find our way again; affection and affirmation, and Resources for Programs, *Not all families are the same...so discipline, or logical limits and Continuing Education 9 respect our uniqueness as a single nurturing of talents. Parents who Public Policy Issues 9 support the child's self-esteem and parent, stepfamily, or intact couple; self-discipline tend to gain the best *We don't do it your way, but it PARADOXES: A PARTING THOUGHT works for us...maybe something from results with the least stress. Don't Go Off the Deep Ends 10 our culture could help the group; *I know my kid...skip the advice; just ---------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------- appreciate how his personality/her Children who thrive...get two To nourish children and raise them friends/etc. drive me nuts and I'm against odds is in any time, any gifts from parents: warmth... halfway to making it better already. and discipline place, more valuable than to fix bolts ---------------------------------------------- or design nuclear weapons. --Marilyn French ---------------------------------------------- Wyoming Extension Family Life Newsletter January-February 1995 2 FAMILY LIFE SPECIALIST ADVENTURES "Cut to the Chase" PROGRAMMING PRIORITIES FOR PARENTS 1/2-6 Community Action Planning Training, Billings "Learning the ropes" of the successful Oregon model to be Help Parents Help Themselves/Each Other: Use natural available as support and facilitator in Wyoming. helping networks (clubs, PTAs, teams, churches, neighbors) 1/17 Right from the Start: Marriage Preparation to launch formal or informal parent discussion/support. Train Programs & Opportunities, Wheatland hospital, school, etc. staff to support and pass on information 1/23-25 Subject Matter/RETHINK Training, Laramie that helps parents help their kids/themselves. Train-the-Teacher/Introduction for Educators interested in Lend a Hand to Distressed Parents: Offer emotional and conflict resolution skills to apply in practice or teach. practical support, low-cost housing, financial assistance, 2/10 TOOLS for Creating Community Connections for mentoring, and other special services to families most in Families Workshop, Sheridan. (see 3/16 also) need. Emphasize coordinated efforts among agencies. Hands-on-workshop co-sponsored w/ Parent Information Create a Supportive Climate: Guide workplaces, schools, Center, Buffalo, for families on ways to build strengths. businesses, churches, law enforcement, and agencies in 2/21-25 RETHINK Train-the-Trainer, Ft.Collins/Denver. looking at how they can make minor and major changes Training for community collaborators in WY and CO and (scheduling, communication, day care) which offer parents Extension educators from 4 states via Resiliency Network. additional flexibility and low-cost resources to support a 3/4-6 Consulting on Youth/Family in Park & Big Horn Co child's development. Note how such changes build a climate 3/7-9 Resiliency Network Curriculum Comm./Nashville. which is more cooperative and productive. National planning/resource group compiling available materials on parenting, youth violence, and teen sexuality TheoryBase: The Logic Behind the Programs 3/16 TOOLS Conference, Douglas. (see 2/10) Parent education has a long history of theory-grounded GOPHER HOLE "Gopher" is a (although often weakly tested) models to explain and change popular name for electronic files accessed via Internet. Both Extension and 4-H children's growth and interaction with their elders. (CYFERNET) offer "gophers," as well as Psychoanalytic approaches identify key tasks/problems of universities, government agencies, and each stage and ego/ID conflicts (Freud, Erikson), responding private organizations. Newsletters, to motivations behind children's actions (Adler), or working program information, research, and statistical reports, grant announcements, through personality differences (Jung. Myers-Briggs). and much other info appear on menus. Behavioral models stress reinforcement of positive and extinction of negative behaviors by systematic external modification (chart & reward: Skinner), modeling and THE NATIONAL NETWORK ON FAMILY RESILIENCY GOPHER structured interaction (social learning: Patterson), or thinking (VIA EXTENSION SERVICE-USDA/CYFERNET) LISTS AMONG skills for problem solving in everyday situations. ITS RESOURCES THE 1994 NATIONAL PARENT EDUCATION Humanistic models of parenting encourage building a child's MODEL CREATED BY FOUR SPECIALISTS TO GUIDE PROGRAM autonomy, self-esteem, and skills for communication, PLANNING AND EVALUATION . KEY PRACTICES OF THE MODEL , problem-solving, and conflict resolution. Understanding of FEATURED IN A MAY '95 UW COMPRESSED VIDEO TRAINING , the child and high levels of interaction are prominent. INCLUDE: Systemic programs key on understanding and changing dynamics of power, affection, roles, values, problem-solving, CARE FOR SELF--MANAGING STRESS, FAMILY RESOURCES; etc. to facilitate positive development and interaction among GIVING & RECEIVING SUPPORT; KNOWING STRENGTHS & family members and family support within the community. GOALS AS A PARENT; COOPERATING WITH PARTNER Feminist curricula offer insight on consequences of gender UNDERSTAND--CAREFUL OBSERVATION OF CHILDREN 'S and class inequity, models and skills for mutuality and change DEVELOPMENT & INTERACTION WITH THEIR ENVIRONMENT in communication, family roles, and community. GUIDE--MODELING DESIRED BEHAVIOR ; MAINTAINING LIMITS & VALUES; TEACHING RESPONSIBILITY & PROBLEM-SOLVING; Parent educators need to become familiar with theories as a MONITORING A CHILD'S CONTACTS way to present a coherent (vs. topic-by-topic) approach to parenting. Also, it is important to compare theoretical NURTURE--EXPRESSING AFFECTION, COMPASSION; FOSTER- frameworks to one's own philosophy of parenting and the ING SELF-RESPECT, HOPE, KINDNESS; PROVIDE FOR BASIC specific needs of audiences. NEEDS; CELEBRATING; SHARING CULTURAL HERITAGE MOTIVATE--TEACHING CHILDREN ABOUT SELF , OTHERS, THE Further insight on how theories fit is offered in Morgaine's WORLD; STIMULATING CURIOSITY , LOVE OF LEARNING; discussion of paradigms for family life education in Feb. HELPING CHILDREN PROCESS INFORMATION 1993 Family Relations, 41, (1), 12-17 (reviewed in the ADVOCATE--FIND, USE, & CREATE COMMUNITY RESOURCES ; Summit edition of Chinook, June, 1994) PROMOTE SUPPORTIVE CLIMATES ; BUILD TIES WITH FAMILY, NEIGHBORHOOD, COMMUNITY -A NEPEM MANUAL IS $10 FROM KSU (913/532-6969)- Wyoming Extension Family Life Newsletter January-February 1995 3 STATS AND FACTS Two-thirds of Americans say their own family life is "very" From the Mass Mutual Study of Family Values... or "extremely" satisfying, yet 57% say American family life is "fair" or "poor"...Eighty-six percent of Americans say parents should have the most influence on values, but only Most Important
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