VOLUME LXXXVIII NUMBER 20 PASADENA, CALIFORNIA FRIDAY 6 MARCH 1987 Optional Dental Plan Coming to Institute; Local Dentists Available toOay IS by Steve Gomez it could have been done for $28 in questions on the matter. Since I am Starting first term next year (or school. If anyone has questions, not always there, leave a message third term this year if details are they can contact me, Steve Gomez, at the tone and I will get back to worked out soon enough), all at x3762. I will try to answer your you. Ta Ta. ORopOay Caltech undergraduate and gradu­ ate students will be eligible to sign up for the Safeguard Prepaid Den­ tal Program. The plan is optional, but is such a deal that those already insured should take advantage ofit. It costs $34 a year for an eligible member, and $68/year for a member and one dependent. Once signed up, the member chooses a local dentist who belongs to the program. There are three dental offices, with a total ofeight dentists, that belong to the program and are close to Caltech. Free benefits of the program include cleaning once every six months, oral examinations and diagnosis, .office visits, full-mouth X-rays, and preventative dental education. Other services and treatments will require co-payment, including topical fluoride treatments ($5.00), emergency treatment ($15.00), broken appointment change (i.e., less than 24 hours notice-$1O.(0), fillings (ranging from $10-$25 depending on the number of teeth involved), extractions ($25-$55 plus $20 anesthesia, depending on the condition of the teeth), etc. For those already covered by some dental insurance, your pre­ >­ sent insurance should pick up the .D cost of the co-payment depending £ o on the type ofinsurance you carry. .c The best idea is to take care ofyour Cl. dental problems while in school The Van Is Back-Jeff "Larry" Flint, the new ASCIT upperc ass Director-at-Large presents the freshly repaired ASCIT van. The van is available to ASCIT now (when the insurance plan members who have good driving reputations. For information, or to reserve the van, contact Flint at Syndicate Alley (room 110, x3774). starts) while it is dirt cheap. You might not appreciate paying $160 to have a tooth remoyed later when What Happened to Dingo Boingo by Adam Siovik many more entries. We had until ing to be on tour, we might have Haymans of Flintridge "Why haven't we .had the Oingo Friday at five. to wait until June. Great! concert?" Since our entrance into We fIlled out (all the houses ex­ We started talking about the . the 'back to school' (Oingo Boingo cept Page participating at this size of the stage, the dre.ssing Concert) sweepstakes, it seems the point) 52,000 entries and drove rooms, security, lights, insurance, Donate New Chair whole campus is filled with ques­ them to KROQ. Kathleen seemed etc. Several weeks later I got a call tions. Perhaps this article can shed optimistic about our chances. Now saying that Mark is sorry but we [CNB] - Caltech has received a gift is needed to endow a professorship light on the situation. the waiting started. can no longer have a concert. The from Mr. and Mrs. Richard L. at Caltech. Brian Daniels and I were told band did not want to give two con­ Hayman of Flintridge to establish The Haymans' previous gifts to of this contest without many The long wait..• certs for one contest. Why should the Dotty and Dick Hayman Pro­ the Institute were the Richard L. details. After many phonecalls, they have to pay for what they felt fessorship of Engineering. and Dorothy M. Hayman Pro­ some to New York, I reached Every Monday and Friday I was KROQ's mistake? He tried Caltech President Marvin L. fessorship in Mechanical Engineer­ someone who knew what was go­ called Kathleen at KROQ and was everything he could but it ain't go­ Goldberger said that one of ing held by Frank E. Marble, and ing on. This was on a Tuesday. told that nothing was new as to the ing to happen. That's it. Caltech's most eminent professors the Hayman Lounge in Caltech's She said that she would send winner and to call back. After I called Kathleen from KROQ will be selected to hold the endow­ Athenaeum, in memory of Mr. out the official rules in the mail, but several weeks, and constant nagg­ (remember her?) and yelled my ed chair. "Professorships are Hayman's brother, Earl S. that we had to handwrite on an in­ ing by the CIT community, I call­ head off. She said that whether or among the most important gifts our Hayman, a 1924 Caltech graduate. dex card our name and school and ed Honda-the sponsor. Pam Dean not our entries entitled us to a con­ friends can contribute, since they The Haymans have also contri­ get it validated at a Honda dealer told me the winner would be an­ cert or not and whether or not she enable us to recognize outstanding buted generously to the Caltech and send it to New York to be nounced in three days and that if had the right to tell us what she did faculty as well as providing vital Alumni Fund, The Caltech Associ­ received by Monday. we weren't told yet (the winner was was irrelevant. endowment funds that strengthen ates, and the Summer Undergrad­ Brian and I went to all the to be told before the rest of the All that in mind, they still pro­ Caltech's financial base. We are uate Research Fellowship (SURF) houses asking for monetary support world) we probably hadn't won. mised us a concert and she was. go­ deeply grateful to Dick and Dotty program. for the cards and stamps as well as The next day Clea came to me, ing to hold them to that promise. Hayman for their foresight and Hayman, who studied mechan­ labor to fIll ourthese cards. All the telling me that the public events of­ The next day - "there isn't much generosity." A gift of $1.5 million ical engineering at Caltech, worked houses except Lloyd (and ofcourse fice got a phone call and referred that I can do ..." at Lockheed from 1936 to 1945 Fleming) refused money, saying it to her. She gave me the name and At this point I went to our before founding his own company, that their houses were not en­ phone number for Mark Shimmel. friendly Deans and we set up a Haskel, Inc. (Burbank, California), thusiastic. Lloyd and Fleming I immediately called him and he meeting with the Institute lawyer. which produces compressed air decided to go on, knowing that all verified that we won. I was told The lawyer. thought that the 20 Budget (and gas) driven pumps, and spe­ the houses would gain if we won, that there was a problem with our tickets offered to us in compensa­ cial purpose valves, and metal even if they put no effort in. entries not being validated but tion for the whole affair was flange seals for general industry We bought and filled out as because ofour great enthusiasm we ridiculous. How about 800 tickets and defense. He is also chairman many cards as we could afford to would be given a concert as well for all the undergrads, maybe 1600 Meeting ofHaskel Energy Systems, Ltd., in send to New York. as the next school with less - but for the grad students as well, or England, a foreign subsidiary ofhis validated- entries. maybe even 2000 to include some company. staff. The budget meeting for the Mr. and Mrs. Hayman are ac­ More cards Problems arise The CIT lawyer together with '87-'88 fiscal year is scheduled at tive members ofThe Associates, a our public relations office (a direct 7:00PM next Tuesday, March 10th Caltech support group. They are On Friday morning, hearing a After talking with many people line to the press) are going to try in the Millikan Board Room. All contributing Life Members and promotion for this contest on in the administration and with con­ to convince Honda and whoever clubs and organizations should pick members·of the President's CCir­ KROQ, I called, to be told by cert halls and more, Mark Shim­ else that it is in their best interest up a budget request form from Thu cle. Mr. Hayman has just com­ Kathleen Riely that we could mel called to say that the concert to satisfy us. Le, Ruddock House, and return pleted a two-year term as president deliver our entries to the station would be on December 23. I said As it stands now, a concert is them by 5:00 pm. today. Please of The Associates. He is also a rather than send them to New that would be unacceptable, seeing impossible. A reasonable number mail them to Thu Le, mail code member of the Caltech Alumni York. Without the cost of the that many students go home for of tickets to a show in 1-55. No extensions granted. Association. stamps we could afford to send Christmas. Since the band was go- L.A....we'll see. 2THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRI DAY 6 MARCH 1987 11------0PIN 10N------1 Frosh In PICK THE Thoughts About BOC The editorship feels that with such may have the honor system and a major controversy on hand, we community in mind while trying Trouble @ too should make our own com­ such cases. Do they realize the im­ ments concerning the BOC. pact they have on the student's To the Editors: As a part ofthe student govern­ future when they pass judgment By now, most ofthe undergrad­ ment system the BOC allows us as and reprimand the offender with uates of Caltech are at least students to playa major role in our forced leave or expulsion? somewhat aware of the recent ac­ community. We govern ourselves The Caltech community may tions of the BOC concerning the and we interpret and suggest understand well enough, but will three freshmen Shubber Ali, Thor reprimands for our peers. The the rest of the world understand Clark, and Chris Edgington, (who honor system and its enforcement that taking "unfair advantage" (and have all initiated public discussion by the BOC give us freedom and its interpretations) ofothers is such of their cases per article VII, sec­ a maturity found on few campuses. a disastrous wrong? tion 2.(i) ofthe ASCIT By-Laws). However, we may be inex­ The BOC allows us to live with Also by now there has been much perienced with the power and each other as we do but it may, in spreading ofinformation and mis- -;0 responsibility that goes with such its zeal for justice, ignore the more information and discussion, both .~ a position. The Board of Control basic realities of life. -J.L. constructive and not so construc- ~ tive, between the students. My pur- :0 idea is ludicrous. Therefore, it pose here is to consolidate what is ~ must be construed that the recom­ THE CALIFORNIA TECH known about the facts in general E mendation was made not upon events which occurred in the past, Volume LXXXVIII • Number 20 and to express my sentiments as to c: 6 March 1987 what appears to be a serious error .~ but rather upon the BOC's estima­ in judgment. Unfortunately, public ~ tion of what Chris mightor might information is quite limited in these ~ •• • • • •••• •• • • • •• • • • • • • •••• not do in the future. In effect, Chris ILLUSTRIOUS POTENTATES matters. It is sadly ironic that the Edgington is being sentenced for Ken Haynes • Michael Keating Jennifer Low truth is so hard to find in a place cases. Shubber and Thor were not value to Lloyd. However, the crimes not committed, for advan­ . where it is supposed to set one free. questioned as extensively along BOC's decision in no way, shape, tages not taken- he has been ENTERTAINMENT DEMIURGE As with most aspects of life, one these lines. or form compensated Lloyd for the judged to be guilty in the future, an Jens Peter Alfke must make do with what is avail­ 7) After long deliberations, the value ofits loss offurniture for this incorrigible violator. This decision PHOTO DEMIURGE able and make the best judgment BOC made the following recom­ time period- although rents were was not based upon a prior record, Joey Francis based upon those facts. mendations: Thor and Shubber paid, no wear and tear charges but upon the collective opinion of SPORTS DEMIURGE Here is a short summary of should be put on probation; Chris were assessed, and no public ser­ the BOC of Chris's character as a Steve Bard what is public knowledge at this Edgington should be expelled from vice to Lloyd was recommended. human being. I do not believe that ANNOUNCEMENTS EXARCH time: school. Instead, Lloyd got back some us­ this type of judgment belongs at Josh Kurutz 8) Chris was told that the re­ ed furniture and the three offenders Caltech or even within the confines DAEMONS 1) The two freshmen Thor and commendation in his case was were handed recommendations to ofa free society. In some respects Huy Cao • Steve Gomez Chris stole a couch from Lloyd based upon the BOC's interpreta­ hopefully prevent future violations it is reminiscent of McCarthyism. Rob Grothe. John Haba House first term and kept it in their tion ofhis attitude toward the honor by them. I am afraid that the rela­ Civil liberties are certainly being Amanda Heaton. Maneesh Jain room for several weeks. system- the BOC felt that his con­ tionship between the advantage violated. Mark D. Looper. Kevin Nelson 2) Early second term Thor and tinued presence would be a threat taken and recommendations given However, descriptive name­ Glenn Tesler • Marty Zimmerman Chris took another couch from to the Caltech community under the is not unlike that between apples calling' and angry flailing will not PHOTO LIEGEMEN Lloyd and then Shubber and Thor rules of the honor system. and oranges. bring a resolution ofpositive value Shubber Ali • Steve Bard took a third couch. 9) The final verdict is awaiting The second fundamental ques­ to this subject. It istime we take Joey Francis • Glenn Tesler 3) At this point Lloyd realized the Dean's decision. tion, the basis upon which mem­ a serious look at the society we BRAHMAN what was going on and demanded bers of our community should be have created and work together to Sandip Biswal return of the couches. The couches The events outlined above bring judged by the BOC, merits much better it for all. I invite all who TIlE INSIDE WORLD were returned and Lloyd decided two fundamental questions to my thought and rational discussion have constructive comments about Blacker: Alex Wei to bring the matter before the BOC mind: Is the BOC's primary func­ among us. No one believes for a in­ this subject to express them to the Dabney: Al Petterson via the usual channels. tion, that ofnullification ofadvan­ stant that Chris Edgington was re­ community, especially those who Fleming: Ed Zanelli 4) For reasons unknown the tage, being properly served here, commended for expulsion because have served or are presently serv- Lloyd: Keith Owens, Brian Patterson and John Wiltse hearing was delayed until approx­ and should the BOC's decisions be he stole a couch from Lloyd-this continued on page 3 Page: James Ibbeison imately one week ago, at which based upon past events or future and Dean Wilber time the three freshmen were ques­ expectations? ~~ 21na It MIchael @L ~ Ricketts: Lisa LePome tioned separately in a rotating If the BOC's primary function ~~ ~ and Gary Ludlam fashion (first one, second one, third is to nullify advantage, and I am HAIR DESIGN .•• Ruddock: Betsy Andrews one, first one, etc.) under the impression that this is so, Specializing in Unisex ' --~-'1.. Haircuts, Perms, 5) All three were questioned I do not believe that the recommen­ and Color CAPfAINS OF INDUSTRY extensively upon the issues sur­ dations handed down by the BOC 20% off to David Goldreich rounding the stealing of the are justified. In this case, the three Caltech community Gavin Claypool couches. freshmen took advantage of the Walk·ins and' 6) Chris Edgington was ques­ members of Lloyd House by de­ Appointments .J 991 E. Green Street PRODUCTION VASSALS tioned extensively upon his under­ priving them of their couches for • Pasadena, California Nick Smith • Glenn Tesler standing of the honor system. His an extended time period. This ob­ ~\~ Parkingon ~~ --~108 ~ questioning included hypothetical viously was worth something of · .... S. Catalina PEON AMONG TIlE RANK AND Ii1LE 793-2243 or 449-4436 Jay Lieske

TIlE CALIFORNIA TECH Greg Susca SELF-SERVICE visit our new location! 107-51 Winnett Student Center California Institute of Technology Painting and Wallcovering COPIES Kinko's Pasadena, California 91125 Glendale Phone: [818] 356-6154 Interior and Exterior Published weekly except during ex­ amination and vacation periods by the I 5C I 441 N. Brand Blvd. Associated Students ofthe California Glendale Institute of Technology, Inc. (but (818) 249-5646 klnko's copies (818) 500-1811 primarily by the Editors). The opin­ License #456757 ions expressed herein are strictly Open 24 Hours those of the authors and do not Special discounts to Caltech community NOW OPENI necessarily reflect those of the SEVEN DAYS A WEEK (but not 24 hours) Editors. Letters and announcements are welcome. All contributions should in­ THEASCIT~OVIE Copies beyond belief from state-of-the-art elude the author's name and phone Xerox copiers for great-looking flyers, newsletters, number and the intended date of publication. The Editors reserve the TONIGHT at 7:30 and 10:00 brochures, theses, reports, and resumes. right to abridge and edit letters for ex­ Print quality and incredible speed at prices pediency, literacy, or for any other damn reason they feel like. So there. that will astound you! Turn in copy (preferably on an ffiM­ compatible, WordStar-formatted floppy disk) to the Tech office 2001 mailbox, room 107 Winnett. The deadline for copy is Wednesday at 5PM; for announcements, Tuesday at A SPACE ODYSSEY 5PM. Late copy may not be printed kinko·s unless prior arrangements have been made with the editors. Subscription requests should be directed to the atten­ 827 E. Colorado Blvd. tion of the business manager. Rates are $3.00 per tenn, Next Week - Beverly Hills Cop $8.00 per annum (three terms), $100 per life (many Pasadena terms). in Baxter Lecture Hall Printed by News-Type Service, Glendale, California $1 ASCIT members $1.50 all others (818) 793-6336 ISSN 0008-1582 TH E CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 6 MARCH 19873 1------OPINION------,--3 ing on the BOC. In general, I be­ else and will therefore use extreme may not be completely without . repeat offenders, or certain other ly illogical decision. You might lieve a better informed communi­ care when trying possible violators bias; in other words, the Dean may kinds of violators, I do not believe have endorsed a petition which ty will cooperate better and make ofthe system? How, too, will such be unwittingly basing his decision that students will abide by the BOC would prevent the BOC from mak­ better decisions. Hopefully, the individuals be able to keep per­ on a recommendation that he statement that one should turn in ing such a decision. I ask you to truth will set us free in the end after sonal, or even house, bias from assumed, out of past experience one's friends without first giving reconsider, and to objectively think all. entering in their decision concern­ with the BOC, was merited. Even them the chance to correct their about what I have to say. -Frank Vasquez, Jr. ing a student violation ofthe code? if a student appeals the BOC's own digressions. Or, on the even The students on the BOC have Fleming House V. P. It is possible that the schism bet­ recommendation, the Dean does more absurd end of the violation difficult decisions to make, and ween the personalities of the in­ not have access to the unedited ver- spectrum, what should you do if probably do not make them lightly dividual houses reflects on the sion ofthe minutes ofthe case, and you know that someone is using or without considering all of the Control representatives of such houses; is therefore can only base his decision another student's soap in the facts. Consequently, when they it not therefore possible, or even on his conversations with both the shower without that student's per­ make a decision which is obvious­ probable that a BOC vote could be BOC chairman and the student in- mission. Should you first tell the ly harsher than the supposed infrac­ Questioned biased for or against a student volved. The lack of access to the victimized student and let her solve tion, I submit that they are basing To the Editors, depending on which house he is minutes by anybody other than the the problem on her own, or should their decision on additional infor­ Recently, certain actions of the from, and how the different BOC hinders the possibility ofthe you immediately turn the violator mation of which we are not aware. Board of Control (BOC) have led representatives feel about that Dean to make a decision based on in to the BOC? One can instantly I would like to point out that the a number of students to question house, or more importantly, about all of the facts presented at the recognize the foolishness in doing BOC is merely an advisory com­ the the amount ofpower which has that student? As any intelligent per­ hearing; unless he conducts his such a thing, but as the board has mittee which submits its recom­ been delegated to the BOC, and son realizes, it is impossible to own formal investigation, he is stated it, the letter ofthe law must mendations to the Dean, who whether new guidelines governing keep even the smallest amount of relying mainly on what he hears. be obeyed. This system ofinform­ makes the final decision. You the procedure and actions of the personal bias, good or bad, from Even the accused student may not ing on everybody else for even the might say, "But the Dean just BOC should be instituted. entering into one's hopefully objec­ know specifically why he or she smallest thing is reminiscent of rubber-stamps the BOe's decisions The Board of Control was tive decision. may be recommended for a certain another system that was eventual­ anyway."I present instead the pro­ originally created to maintain the A possible solution to this pro­ punishment, because the BOC ly similar to this. It existed in Ger­ bability that the BOC makes re­ integrity of the Honor System at blem is to change the procedure for never informed him or her of the many in the 1930's and 40's and commendations which are for the Caltech. It was endowed with cer­ the picking of representatives for specific violation. How, too, can even involved children informing most part fair, and need not be tain powers in order to help it do the BOC. Instead of each house the BOC make a decision to recom- on their own families. Many altered by the Dean. And even if just that. The BOC was (and is) having one representative, wouldn't mend a student for expulsion or students, including myself, con­ this in not the case, do you think composed ofnine voting members­ it be better to have the entire stu­ forced leave on the basis of one sider Caltech to be a family. I that the Dean would just "rubber­ one representative from each dent body determine who should night's questioning? And, in such would seriously regret to seeing the stamp" the very serious recommen­ house, and two reps at large- as represent it at the BOC? This an extreme case as expulsion or same thing happen here. dation of suspension or expulsion, well as a chairman and secretary. would actually increase the forced leave, which usually results -Shubber Ali especially if it seemed way out of These representatives were to be possibility ofgetting more qualified in the same outcome (Le., a student 1-57 proportion to the offense commit­ elected by the student body on the people on the BOC, because an in­ permanently leaving the Institute), ted? I think that the Dean would qualification that they had the In­ terested student would have abet­ should not the accused be allowed consider such a recommendation stitute's best interests in mind, and ter chance of being elected if he to at least be completely informed very seriously, and would consult would uphold the Honor System. was running for one ofseven spots, ofthe exact reasoning upon which Support with others ifhe had any doubts in At least, this was the original as opposed to running for simply the decision is based? That is cur­ the matter. theory upon which the formation of one spot. It would also generate rently not the policy of the BOC. Even if the Dean approves the the BOC was based. Since its crea­ more interest in the BOC because Last, but certainly most impor­ For Board BOe's recommendation, the affect­ tion, though, students and faculty students would be concerned about tantly, it appears the Honor System To the Editors: ed party can appeal his case for­ have come to question just how having too many people from one has a flaw in it which is possibly One of the greatest benefits of a mally to the Grievance Committee, beneficial the existence of the house in control of the board. the source for the problems concer­ society such as ours is that people and informally to the Vice Presi­ BOC, in its present form, is. A second, more important issue ning the BOC. A hypothetical case can participate in the decisions of dent of Student Affairs, the Pro­ The first problem with the is the amount of power the BOC raised by the BOC was as follows: the government. But it is not al­ vost, and the President. I think it modern day BOC is actually caus­ currently wields. Under current If you caught a close friend of ways practical or advisable for is very unlikely that a truly unfair ed by the students themselves. The policy, the BOC's actions, if any, yours cheating on a test, what everyone to be involved with cer­ decision which could affect a per­ representatives from certain houses take the form ofrecommendations would you do? While the majority tain decisions, such as national son so much would make it past all have sometimes become reps only to the Dean of Students. The pro­ of students I asked this answered defense, or whether or not a per­ of these checks and balances. because nobody was willing to run ceedings ofthe BOC are kept under that they would first ask the student son is guilty of a certain offense With these facts in mind, I think for the job, and only after being lock and key and are available on­ what caused him to do this, would and what his punishment should be. that the BOC would not, even if asked did someone finally agree to ly to the BOe. The administration he cover it up, would he turn So we select a group of people to only for its own interest, submit a do it. This brings forth an impor­ has no access to these records (lit­ himself in, would he do it again­ learn the facts and make the deci­ recommendation which it did not tant question: do such represen­ tle t, 86-87). On the surface, this and ifthe friend was not willing to sions for us. Often the decisions truly believe was justifiable and tatives really have the upholding of seems to present no problems, but turn himself in or planned to do it which these people make are un­ proportional to the offense the Honor System as their main when. one looks more closely at just again, then the student would turn popular or seem illogical. But it is committed. motivation, or do they just consider what this means in terms ofchecks him in - the BOC believes that the foolish for us to react every time Arbitrarily restricting the being a BOC rep just another job and balances, one realizes that student is not a liberty to make the by passing a law preventing them capabilities of the BOC is un­ they have to do, without consider­ there is a serious imbalance caus­ decision to question their friend. from making such a decision. We necessary and unwarranted, espe­ ing the full implications of what ed by this. Although it is true that Instead, they should immediately must acknowledge the fact that in cially ifthe decision is being made they are getting into? Also, if such the BOC only makes a recommen­ turn in their friend - in fact, they many cases we probably do not without knowledge of all of the a 'representative' doesn't really dation to the Dean, it is a matter should actually turn in any violator know all of the relevant informa­ facts. Putting limitations on the represent the opinions ofthe house of Institute history that the Dean ofthe Honor System, no matter the tion and therefore cannot make an reasons for suspension and expul­ which elected him, how can such respects and usually abides by the crime, because that is why the informed decision. sion is not only inappropriate, but a person be considered as a part of decision of the BOC. This, in BOC was created- to deal with I would like to extend this into could prevent the BOC from tak­ a group ofour peers who have been itself, is fine. The problem arises violators. an analogy ofour student body and ing such an action in a situation selected on the basis that they will when one realizes that the BOC While I can agree with their the function ofthe BOC. There are which cannot be foreseen. There hold the Honor System above all that is making the recommendation statement in regards to vandals, or reasons why honor system viola­ are ample safety checks in the sys­ tions are not brought before the en­ tem; let's not overreact out of ig­ tire student body, and it is the norance of the facts. If there is a BOe's duty to represent us in these decision to be made, it should be cases. carefully thought out after all the BUY YOUR Many ofyou were recently pre­ details are known. CALTECH CARD sented with one side ofsuch a case, David Lipin BURGlER AND SAVE in which the BOC made a seeming- President, Ricketts House CONIIlNlENIAl earc for "COMPUTER STUFF?" 91le ~atu~e: . ALWAYS 10% OFF WITH YOUR • CHICKEN TAVOUK KEBAB CALTECH ID :::: ·la'· • FRESH SEAFOOD SPECIALS S~CS199°o PROUD PROVIDERS . Ready to Assemble . • GOURMET GIANT HAMBURGERS OF CALTECH'S "''fl...... Reg...... 5231 00 . FOOD SERVICES ., • DAILY SPECIALS ON THE BOARD • REFILLS ON SOFT DRINKS AND SALAD BAR at! at ~easonab!e and affo~dab!e p~ices at! include g~ench f~ie5 o~ ~ice pilaf, infinite salad, peta b~ead and butte~

FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF MARCH I SALE.S· 818' 449-1590 A FREE ROOT BEER FLOAT TO ALL JUNIORS, SENIORS AND GRADS 2341 E. Foothill Blvd. Pasadena FACULTY, GRAD STUDENTS, ATTEND! 535 SOUTH LAKE AVENUE 1 block West of Sierra Madre MONDAYS & TUESDAYS ARE BEER DAYS. HALF PRICE ON BEER. V2 BLOCK NORTH OF CALIFORNIA Computer Furniture &Accessories Home-Office 4TH E CALIFORNIA TECH FRI DAY 6 MARCH 1987 It---OPINION The Inside World agreements ot any kind with the To the Editors: Blacker: This week is Yuppie Week. For Yuppies, every week is Yuppie Week. Soviet Union. In her letter [California Tech, Yuppies try to concentrate on the qualities that distinguish them as Yuppies during Arms Talk. It will be interesting to see the 27 February 1987] attempting to Yuppie Week. One of these qualities is to talk about yourself and things that are im­ portant to you. So this week I'm going to talk about myself. administration's reaction to Gor­ portray the Sandanistas as the Fri., 2/27. My birthday. It seems like everyone's birthday is in February. We all bachev's latest proposal to remove defenders ofdemocracy in Central go out to Edokko and pig out on sushi. We also go to the TACIT play. It was very Deceptive medium range missiles from Eu­ America, Ann Terese Heil men­ good, but I got scared when Lisa LePome started taking off her clothes on stage. We rope: an idea that seems identical tions as a side point that the go back and open my presents. A 1O-cup coffee machine, a bag of Java Estate, Dr. Ruth's Guide to Good Sex, and the GQ 1987 Desk Diary. Tracey and Irene also baked To the Editors: to the much touted "zero-option" Popular Front for the Liberation a Happy Dick cake for me and Tim, and we played Zar till late late. Thank you, State department representative that Reagan advocated several for Palestine [PFLP] "simply wants everyone. Mike Stafford's talk here (the Tech, years ago. As usual the first state­ to negotiate with our friend Israel Sat., 2/28, Tim's birthday, officially. February is over. I trolled. Tim slept. Later, 27 February) was accurate and ments have been of the "take a to get a place to live." In the future, Ed Zanelli comes by all dressed up and takes Irene away. I never saw them come back. closer look" and "what about verifi­ I really respect Ed for the way he dresses. I wish I could dress like that. precise, but completely obscured Ms. Heil would be well advised to Sun., 3/1. More trolling. Chris Hurwitz makes a fool of himself in Vatican. Tim the basic facts-that the Reagan ad­ cation" type. find out the facts before making a and I debate on the effects ofBlacker House's gradual takeover by Yuppies. Tim decides ministration has no interest in arms -Ann Terese Hei! public display of her ignorance. to form YEC (Yuppie Extermination Corps) and insults me by calling me a preppie. control. 206-41 The PFLP is perhaps the most I make a note to put Tim on my hit list in my new GQ Desk Diary. Later that night me and other Yuppies meet in the Midnite Cafe and discuss the rising cost of coffee Stafford painted a picture ofad­ Grad Student, ChE radical terrorist group associated pastries, among other things. ministration negotiatiors making with the Palestine Liberation Mon., 3/2. I'm not feeling well, probably because I drank too much coffee this great progress towards an arms Organization [PLO]. They have past week. My sensitivity to light and noise amplified many times. I go to sleep early, control agreement, coming much Defense proudly claimed responsibility for but someone wakes me up. I try taking something to help me go to sleep but end up falling on the floor and hallucinating. closer to an agreement than we had numerous acts ofterrorism against Tues" 3/3. I feel much better. People in Vatican report hearing me talk in my been two years ago. However, with civilians around the world, in­ sleep, like "No, no, come back." I recall dreaming about someone packing her suit­ arms control you either have an cluding the 1970 mid-air explosion case and leaving, but I don't remember any faces. That evening two things happened: agreement, or you don't. Close Polls Out ofa Swissair jetliner that killed 47 the Black Hand came and took away some bad frosh, and then Lloydies came and counts in nuclear weapons, but it To the Editors: passengers and crew members. showered Moles. I don't know why. I decided to protect Chris Chu and asked them A "Caltech Poll on Defense Is­ to do their showering in Cannes. Chris and I reminisced about family life. Mark put doesn't in nuclear arms treaties. Dr. George Habash, leader of in another 3 hours ofcomputer work. We now have 17 hours total for this pay period. And all Stafford's talk is worthless sues" has been circulated to 600 the PFLP said, "There is a mini­ Wed., 3/4. Scott does his annual cleaning and burning right before lunch. I think if there is no treaty to back it up. Caltech students. The poll has been mal Palestinian national position. Scott is a funny boy. People attack me as I sun myself on the courtyard couch and What Stafford didn't talk about is put together by members ofthe So­ This minimum is the rejection of throw french fries at me. Tracey decides to ignore my attempts to serenade her. I decide cial Science department (mostly to skip Ch 21 today because it is too nice to sit in class. I trip on my way over to that his direct boss-chief U.S. any recognition of the Zionist en­ the Tech office. negotiator Fred Nitze- has con­ me) with input from other students tity ...our rejection of any settle­ -Arex sistently opposed every arms con­ to try to measure how much stu­ ment based on the continued ex­ Dabney: Picture- dents here know about certain the future, ca. 2010 A.D. trol agreement ever sighed. So istence ofthis foreign entity." This We drive up to the gate. A sign proclaims (in large, friendly letters): when Stafford and Nitze say they defense issues, and what they think does not sound like an appeal for WELCOME TO DABNIFARMS™ WORLD HEADQUARTERS! are "close," why should we believe about them. Despite assurances of negotiations as Ms. Heil would that they ever intend to cross the anonymity (and the offering of have us believe. And also (in slightly smaller and rather unfriendly letters): finish line? prizes) we have only received - David Goldreich Please have your identification ready. Stafford claims that we are responses from about 400 people. 1-55 And also (in letters that are even smaller still, but which return to the level of con­ "closer" to an agreement because We've also received many com­ geniality set by the first line): the U.S.S.R. had dropped its de­ plaints ofbeing "unscientific". We "EVERYTHING'S BETTER WHEN IT'S GROWN BY A DARB™!'' will be happy to discuss these com­ And finally (in positively tiny, menacingly neutral letters lurking in the lower left mand that non-intercontinental Illustration· corner): delivery systems be included in the plaints (many people have raised valid points) after we get all ofthe "We:re DabniCorpTJl:" 50% reduction envisioned in the The checkpoint looms ahead. Turbines whine as our driver brings our luxurious START talks. How close is an polls back. However, nothing will Plagiarism? 2008 Cornf-E-Ryder™ to a halt. The driver collects our Personal Registry-issue Universal agreement if the Soviets absolute­ make our responses more "unscien­ IDs and our Temporary Restricted DabniCorp passes, lowers the window, and hands ly refuse to limit their intercon­ tific" than if we only get back polls To the Editors: them to the machine waiting outside. There is a short pause as the Personal Informa­ from some ofthe people we mailed tion files in Geneva are accessed, another as the machine scans our faces, and then tinental offensive weapons as long I noticed a very distinct simila­ our plastic souls are handed back to us. As the steel barrier in front of us slides back, as the U. S. refuses to limit Star them to: specifically, only polls rity between the drawing by San­ we catch a glimpse of an expressionless sentry shouldering a pulsed plasma rifle and Wars, and the Reagan administra­ from the people who care about, or dip Biswal on the first page of last one of the newest products of DabniGene'sTM canine laboratories passing us without tion refuses to limit Star Wars? Not have thought about, the questions week's Tech ("America's Cup a glance. Our driver revs the turbines and we glide out of the checkpoint. being asked. That's why we would We proceed slowly down the well-maintained plascrete roadway, silently marvell­ close. Fever") and a drawing by Warren ing as the huge compound unfolds before us. We pass imposing irrigation stations, Stafford claims that the reason like the remaining 200 or so peo­ Miller on page 25 ofthe 19 January many complicated machines of obscure purpose, and, above all, green-wherever we negotiations for a comprehensive ple who have received polls to issue of The New Yorker. In fact, look-green. test ban haven't started are because please return them. Our sense is this seems to be a case of blatant Up ahead, a building is fast approaching. It is built in the pseudo-modem style that many people are not returning that has almost become the trademark of dei Construction, Inc. As we pull up, a man of disagreement over the name of plagiarism. I hope steps are taken steps out. the negotiations. How close is a the poll because respondents are to correct this problem. "Hi," he says as we step out of the car. "Name's Russell May. But just call me comprehensive test ban if it is asked to put their name on the poll. -David Nice Russ." We slowly look him over. His disaffecting manner barely even hints at the Reagan administration policy that The only reason for the name is so Ricketts House awesome power he commands as general manager of DabniFarms, Inc. He extends a verifiable test ban is not that we know who has not return­ You're wrong. It wasnl blatant. a hand in the age-old ritual of welcome, while taking a large bite out of the apple in ed the poll, and can try and track the other hand. The apple is held calmally, almost covering the carefully-engineered desirable? How close is a com­ Biswal drew a rendition ofa car­ letters reading "dei". He is also wearing a rather ugly tie tack. prehensive test ban if the Reagan them down. When we get the polls toon which Dr. Clauser presented Hands are shaken all around as we introduce ourselves. Then, almost offhandedly, administration claims it would on­ we rip the names from the re­ in his slide show. We thank Mr. the questions start. "Just what do you grow at this site, Mr. Ma-ah, Russ?" ly agree to a CTB after drastic sponses (and use the names to draw Nice for identifying the original. "Okra," he replies. for prizes). Iffor some reason this "Okra?" one of us repeats. reductions in nuclear forces? Not "Yes, okra," he says, "It's a fine crop. This entire site is dedicated to okra." close: Finally, how close is Ronald does not offer you quite enough "Hmmf," another of us says, "Too bad I don't like okra." Reagan to being within the law, if security, please rip the name off We stiffen in shock, mentally clawing the air as if to recall the damning words. the limited test ban treaty of yourself, and send it and the com­ May's eyes widen in revelation. pleted poll in separate envelopes. "You dirty pigs! You're from FEIF Industries, aren't you? Confess! Confess!!f' 1963 - rattified by the Senate and We say nothing. His eyes narrow. "Very well," he says softly. "You've forced my hence the law of the land- states If a reasonable number of the 200 hand. Jenkins-" that the signers "seek to achieve the outstanding respondents do this, A hulking block of a man appea{s. discontinuance of all test explo- your anonymity will be assured. If "Play the Vogon poetry for these nice people." He purses his lips. "In the comfy even this is not good enough, chairs." . Stafford claimed that "Salt II -Name please send in the poll without a Fleming: Last Saturday was Wine and Candlelight and as usual master chef Mark would have allowed doubling of name on it. And ifyou simply don't current levels of weaponry, and Eggleston did an outstanding job. The rest of the crew was great too, especially Jim want to answer the poll, please let "Dish Pan Hands" Burleigh. Anyway, somebody did actually end up sitting next to took an inordinate amount of time us know so that we do not hound Daniels, but it wasn't me. There were lots ofdrunk people, and, surprisingly enough, to negotiate." What would have you any further for a response. lots of people acting drunk. Sarapata thought he and Donna came together but she happened without Salt II? Tripling Any questions can be directed to was only faking it. continued on page 5 of weaponry? Quadrupling of wea­ me (Jonathan Nagler) at x4699, in ponry? Now that the Reagan ad­ Baxter, Room 350, or mail code ministration has broken the Salt II 228 - 77. When all the results are limits that both sides had abided in and tabulated, they'll be written by, we may have a chance to find COMPUTER PROGRAMMER up in the Tech. Ed Finds a Date-Ed Z. finally scores out. Is there any doubt that the day -Jonathan Nagler the U.S. broke the limit, some on the night ofWine and Candlelight. Grad Student, Social Science His date remains anonymous. FULL OR PART TIME general in the Soviet military went to Gorbachev and claimed that the only appropriate Soviet response Beverly Hills ba"sed management consulting could be a buildup in offensive firm seeks computer programmer with ex­ systems? And what twists of logic are required to conclude that perience in either of the following languages: because a treaty took a long time to negotiate, we should abrogate it? ESQUIRE COLORADO C, dBase, Basic, Pascal Stafford's talk was a public rela­ 2588 E. Colorado Blvd. tions move by an administration 2670 E. Colorado Blvd. (preferably C) that gives lip service to arms con­ (818) 793-6149 (818) 796-9704 trol in order to appease the public ------and make sure that the Congress We are willing to pay above average market does not see the light and act on its 8 Oscar Nominations 7 Oscar Nominations own. I think it is very clear that the hourly rates. Flexible hours. Incentive offered Woody Allen's administration's negotiating posture ROOM WITH A VIEW for early completion of project. in Geneva is not designed to pro­ plus duce any sort of agreement. Rea­ HANNAH AND gan has appointed men to negotiate 2 Oscar Nominations HER SISTERS Please call Julian (213) 278-8000 to arrange who have been on record for over 25 years as opposing arms control ROUND MIDNIGHT for an appointment. THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRI DAY 6 MARCH 19875 More Inside World from page 4 On Sunday, the well-hung, God-awesome Fleming basketball team beat the lame, limp-dick Lloydies in strong fashion to set up this week's softball showdown with the Spuds. Especially impn,ssive was Brian Calder's around-the-back, through-the-legs, in-the-gym-shorts-and-out, double pump reverse slam, or maybe it was a layup, to seal the victory. Volleyball is going as expected, with the Big Red Machine coasting to an inevitable first place finish. This Saturday is another bob-bitchin' party with the Moles & Rudds. Jim sez, "I promise to get you drunk or laid." Don'!drink, then wait in Jim's room (44) for some great action (must be over 13 years of age). Watch your attitude, because the BOC is watching you. -Boy Wonder Lloyd: Ya know, in days of old when a Techer got finished with his homework and found himself with time on his hands he might go to a movie with his or her pals or seek the opposite sex at another college, or perhaps do something worthy enough to be printed years later in that fine novel, Legends of Caltech. But sadly, these days are behind us. Now ya know what he does? That's right, heads straight for the Geekbox room and punches up "Hack." It is this epidemic problem which has prompted us to follow the example of the American Lung Association's "National Smokeout Week" with our own "National Geekout Week." We thus offer up this challenge to Techers everywhere: Just go from Sunday March 8 to Saturday March 14 without playing ONE SINGLE COMPUTER GAME. Come on, it won't be that hard. It's only a week. And as inspiration, Lloyd will serve as a "Model House" during the week. To further promote National Geekout Week we also suggest you leave the calculator watch in your room for this week, not ask ridiculous questions in class, not look like an idiot by taping your pink slips to the door, and if anyone out there (God help you) still has thick glasses fixed with tape, Get Contacts!! Well, you get the idea. Instead of wasting your life at Rogue, why not drop by the bar and try our fine Drink 0' the Week, which this week is the AntiChrist. One part Vodka, one part Gin, and one part Creme de Cacao. Now isn't that more exciting than killing a Demon on level 42? Remember...if you can do without it for a week, you can do without it forever. -Skeeter & Jethro Ruddock: Stardom went straight to Betsy's head (and Betsy went straight to Mike's head), so she thinks that she's too good to write the Inside World now. However, she still finds time to go to the pantry three or four times a week. Anyway, if you missed her performance as a showgirl in the play, just wait for the movie. Speaking ofmovies, I understand that the movie of the week is Purple Rain. The Lloydies had a fun Friday of sitting on toilets without seats. But the question is: How many Lloydies does it take to shower one Rudd girl? The world may never know, because they couldn't. They dickmunchingly retaliated with an all expense paid trip to the beach for Wayne, but why does it take three carloads of Lloydies to ocean one Rudd? The enraged mov retaliated by thrashing Lloyd House and supplying Fleming and Dabney with some new furniture. We tried three times to get the Lloydies to play, but they didn't want to, so we wasted them anyway. By the way, why were you runn­ ing away, Haba? I went to a Siamese cat show l~st weekend, and guess how many Rudds I saw. Shall I name names? But ofcourse! Let's see, there was Chaji, Shu, Vic'n Dave, George, Pink Lloyd, and Nik "the Quick, but not with the Dick." By the way, Joe, did you get your wineglasses back? I just wanted to make sure, since I heard that Nik hastily bailed to San Diego. Quote ofthe week: Charles Tsai says, "I don't want to say anything bad about Thu because she'll get all her little friends to beat me up." But Charles, we wouldn't say that Eddie's all that little, but then he'd be too "busy" to come beat you up. Speaking ofEddie, he's the lead singer for the new group P.W.D. with their smash single "Tied to the Whipping Post." Band members iclude guitarist Mikey "Can't Pull No Bitches" Warren and Eric "The Rod" Scharin, bassist and backup singer Ed "Ho}\' Nice, Got My Balls in a Vice" Callaway, and on percussion, that mad -Hawaiian John "Reach Out and Touch Someone but Get the Receiver Out of Your Pants" Kubodera. On a more moderate level, congratulations to Ed Mao, the newest Rudd Ath Man. Upcoming events: Frosh Party with Blacker and Fleming Saturday at 8:09 in the court­ yard. Things to watch for: Can Z keep his feet to himself on the dance floor? Will it be Wayne or Hungse with a date? Then it's softball with the Phlegms bright and early Sunday morning, and Interhouse volleyball on Monday, Tuesday, and Thurs­ day. Also, look out for the soon-to-be-released swimsuit edition of the BFD. Dabney Drink of the Week: Kool-Aid. FREE DELIVERY - Bets the Thespian (but ofcourse)

Page: In the interest of public safety and for OUT own personal satisfaction, the A.B.F.L. (Anti-Butt _king League) has fonned a coali­ tion with the Brotherhood of Whitenoses. As a result, the members of Lower Arlington are pleased to announce that nol only is the alley a non-rear-entry zone, but is also now (metaphorically speaking) a 100% brown-Rose-free zone, apparently the first on campus. The alley management wishes to extend its severe apologies to Laura H., R.A.C., Dabney. at least three-quarters of the SOC, Bill Cross and.Kenny H?meman. Brain Damage (see what ~ns when you bu-fu), and any anyone else who feels blatantly and purposely discriminated Happy Hour agalOst. PartIcular condolences to Shubber Ah, who unfortunately seems to be a brown-nose by birth. That's life kiddies. This week's A.8.F.L. "~hauvinist of the Week" award goes to Quantum for his continued harassment of Cheesedip. Keep up the good work, brother. The Big Dick (see Lloyd for details) is watching YOU. Theme for the week: Don't take me seriously. fm not worth it. Beer on draft and wine -Bruce Ih price Free refills on soft drinks 18th Annual Classical Keyboard Improvisation and Live Electronic Music Concert ITALIAN FEAST FOR TWO Grayson Small Cheese Pizza PIZZA 2 Dinner Salads 2 Spaghetti $6.99 18

Richard Grayson, Pianist CALL 792-5984 Clark Spangler, Guest Synthesi Friday, March 6, 1987 524 S. LAKE AVE. PASADENA 8:15 p.m., Thorne Hall Just north of California Occidental College General $5.00 ALL You CAN EAT SPAGHETTI AND GARLIC BREAD $2.99 NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER SPECIAL OFFER Students $2.00 Information: (213) 259-2737 ._._._._._._._._._._._._._------_._-_._._._._._._.-._._._._._._._._.- i i $2.00 FREE i $3.00 6-Pack Soda i i OFF with minimum i OFF any 16" pizza i $8.00 order any 16" pizza or i minimum of 3 toppings NOT VALID WITH ANY i NOT VALID ON ANY SPECIALS OR $1.00 off' any 12" OTHER COUPON OFFER. .i WITH ANY OTHER COUPON OFFER. . • ONE COUPON PER PIZZA. ONE COUPON PER PIZZA. I ONE COUPON PER PIZZA. I !_._._._._._._._._._-_._._._-_._._._._-_._-_._._._._-_._._._._._._._._-_.COUPON EXPIRES 3-20-87 COUPON EXPIRES 3-20-87 i COUPON EXPIRES 3-20- 87 i 6THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 6 MARCH 1987 I ENTERTAINMENT-----J another genre ofhorror entirely, in Actually, Shapes is pretty good a sequence that I remember fondly for what it is, a horror novel aim­ Horror In Space Better Suited as Alien Meets Jaws. At that point ed at people that expect schlock. It we learn that the alien entity reads well (if you don't ask too follows quite literally the concept, many questions about the motiva­ For Cinema Than Foolscap "You are what you eat." It can tions ofthe human characters), and become a duplicate of anything really would make a pretty good by Nick Smith has turned his hand to writing. "Hey, wait a minute! That's not whose DNA it has consumed, and horror movie. By the end of the Shapes With co-author Richard Delap right!" when something fails the to a great extent learn from the liv­ book, the alien entity is almost by Richard Delap and Walt Lee (previously known as a reviewer of test of logic. ing brain (if any) of what it is sympathetic. I mean, if it weren't Charter Paperback, $3.95 SF material), Lee has turned out a In any case, Shapes is about a eating. for all ofthose casualties he'd caus­ gory piece of SF/horror called very dangerous extraterrestrial en­ As the book goes on, we find ed, and his long-range plans ...no, As some of you may know, Shapes. tity that takes over and wrecks the out that the entity is not entirely a I won't give those away, either. Caltech has turned out a few well­ Shapes is not for the squeamish spaceship that had captured it as a bad guy. He just wants to settle Suffice it to say that the goals of known science fiction writers or susceptible. Ifit were made in- biological specimen. The ship is down, raise a family, and take over the alien are notjust to eat his way (Larry Niven, L. Sprague to a movie, it would be heavily R- destroyed, leaving the creature the world. By that time, ofcourse, through mankind. deCamp, David Brin) as well as a rated for violence of an especially hurtling through space. (Sound he is at his most dangerous, hav­ Shapes is worth reading if you fair number of lesser-known SF disgusting type. In fact, it reads as familiar so far? Don't worry, it's ing access to the dominant like horror movies or especially and fantasy writers. Some turned it if had been written to be made not that alien creature.) The characteristics of a Great White paranoiac SF. (You know, the kind to writing immediately, others into a movie. Its very style is creature, still in its specimen con­ Shark and an American an­ whose premise is "The bad news waited many years. Well, another cinematic, complete with cuts and tainer, falls to a nearby cute little thropologist. Of course, he does is - we are not alone in the long-lost Techer has popped up. fades that work better in a genre planet: Earth. Now. have a few weaknesses ...ah, but universe.") Ifyou're more into ALF Walt Lee was an undergrad in where the viewer is given no time The book then borrows from that would be telling. and E. T., you won't like it. the early 1950's, reportedly a to ask questions. This does not Mole. Since that time he has work­ work as well in a book, since the ed in technical fields, but recently reader has time to sit back and say, CALTECH MOVIE CALENDAR Sensible Wisdom Day Date Time Class Movie location Mon. 3-9 7:30PM H 131 The Good Fight Baxter Lecture Hall Tue. 3-10 8-11 :OOAM Lit 11 Macbeth (Orson Welles) 125 Baxter Tue. 3-10 7:30PM Hum 103 The Shining 125 Baxter Makes Good Quotes Thu. 3-12 9-11 :OOAM Psy 112 One Flew Over the Cucoo's Nest 25 Baxter by Huy Cao behave like pigs, but because the Uncommon Sense: The World's sanitation department is. inefficient. Fullest Compendium of Wisdom If marriages break up, that proves READ THIS AD Joseph Telushkin that marriage is a bad institution." (PLEASE) Shapolsky Publishers, 1987 Some of the best insights are If you think that what many also the funniest. Woody Allen: "It people call "common sense" isn't so seems the world was divided into sensible, then you'll like Telush­ good and bad people. The good kin's Uncommon Sense. This col­ ones slept better ... while the bad lection of quotes is unlike most ones seemed to enjoy the waking SHOWCASE hours much more." Phyllis Diller fDNI? others in that most ofits quotes are provocative and insightful, not gives practical advice: "Never go boring. to bed mad. Stay up and fight." The purpose ofthe book accor­ Francis Cardinal Spellman on old ding to Telushkin is partly to age: "There are three ages ofman: HELLO AGAIN ... challenge common sense cliches youth, middle age, and 'you're with what he believes is real looking terrific.'" Groucho Marx JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, WE ARE STILL ALIVE wisdom. That's a big task to try to adds that "a man is only as old as AND WELL IN SUNNY(?) PASADENA. SINCE OUR LAST AD, LOT'S OF accomplish, but I think he suc­ the woman he feels." NEW THINGS HAVE ARRIVED. THERE ARE TWO NEW DIGITAL TV/ ceeds. In addition to the lines that Here's an alleged exchange bet­ MONITORS BY NEC AND MITSUBISHI AS WELL AS NEW VCR'S WHICH he quotes, Telushkin's own com­ ween Lady Astor and Winston INCORPORATE A DIGITAL FILTER IN THE PLAYBACK SYSTEM TO GET mentary binds the quotes together. Churchill: RID OF ALMOST ALL VIDEO NOISE CAUSE BY SPIKES, RFI, OR JUST The quotations are divided in­ "If you were my husband I'd RANDOM GARBAGE USUALLY FOUND ON MOST RENTAL TAPES. THE NEC to four pretty profound categories: poison your tea." DX-1000 IS NOW ON SALE FOR ONLY $429 TO THE CAL TECH "Between Man and Man," "Be­ "Ifyou were my wife, I'd drink COMMUNITY UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH (WHICH IS SATURDAY FOR tween Man and God," "Between it." THOSE NOT KEEPING TRACK). Man and Himself," and "Between ALSO NEW ARE 4 NEW MODELS OF CD PLAYERS BY ASSORTED Man and the World." Telushkin likes quotes that re­ MANUFACTURERS. THE MOST IMPRESSIVE OF THESE ARE THE Within each ofthose categories veal irony. George Bernard Shaw CALIFORNIA AUDIO LABS PLAYERS. IF YOU'RE UNFAMILIAR WITH are further divisions. For example, departing from the Soviet Union in THIS N&~, THEY ARE A REASONABLY NEW COMPANY WHICH HAS within "Between Man and Man," 1931 said, "Tomorrow I leave this DEVELOPED THE FIRST ALL ANALOG TUBE PLAYERS. 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Confucius replied, "Then love. I do not despair of Hitler's WILL BE RELEASING 3 NEW MODELS AT ASSORTED PRICE RANGES. what are you going to repay kind­ responding to human suffering NEWS ON THEM AS THEY ARRIVE! IF, BY THE WAY YOU HAVE THE ness with? Repay kindness with even though caused by him." In IMPRESSION WE ONLY SELL OUTRAGEOUSLY PRICED EQUIPMENT--NOT kindness but repay evil with 1946 Gandhi said, "Hitler killed TRUE. OUR CD PLAYERS START AT ONLY $209 (CAL-TECH PRICE!). justice." five million Jews. It is the greatest WE ARE CONSTANTLY BEING ASKED ABOUT "DAT" (DIGITAL The "ultimate issues" about hu­ crime of our time. But the Jews AUDIO TAPE) AND AS TO THE PROGRESS AN FEASIBILITY OF THIS mans are the main focus of the should have offered themselves to NEW AND EXCITING FORMAT. AT THE CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW book. Dwight Morrow's observa­ the butcher's knife. They should (CES) IN LAS VEGAS LAST MONTH, ONLY A FEW COMPANIES SHOWED tion, that "we judge ourselves by have thrown themselves into the PROTOTYPES AND NOBODY WAS MAKING ANY PROMISES AS TO our motives and others by their ac­ sea from cliffs ... that would have REALISTIC ETA'S. THE ONE THING VERY CLEAR ABOUT DAT WAS tions," is absolutely true I think. been heroism." THAT THERE WERE ONLY A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE THAT HAD EVEN THE Arthur Schopenhauer opines some­ There's a wonderful irony to REMOTEST CLUE AS TO WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON AND STILL, THAT this, by Hitler: "The great masses WASN'T VERY MUCH. THE PLOT THICKENS ... RECENTLY THERE HAS what pessimistically that "the world BEEN A RUMOR CIRCULATING THAT A CLASS ACTION SUIT WAS FILED is hell, and men are on the one of the people will fall more easily hand the tormented souls and on victim to a big lie than to a small AGAINST THE PROPONENTS OF DAT BY THE RECORD COMPANIES WHICH one. " COULD DELAY THE ACTUAL ARRIVAL OF DAT BY 5 OR MORE YEARS! the other the devils in it." Freud is (SIGH)OH WELL! STAY TUNED ... frank about what he thinks ofpeo­ It's apparent from reading the OK, OK. NOW FOR THE STUFF THAT'S ON SPECIAL 1 ple: "I think ... most men are book that Telushkin has a very clear and uncommonly sensible EVERYTHING IN THE STORE IS ON SALE THIS WEEK FOR AN trash." ADDITIONAL 5% OF YOUR ALREADY SPECIAL PRICING. SPEAKERS AND One ofTelushkin's basic beliefs picture oflife. He says, "The phil­ osophy of life and religion that I SPECIFICALLY SALE-PRICED MERCHANDISE IS EXCLUDED FROM THE is that man is responsible for what ADDITIONAL 5% OFF, BUT THESE ARE USUALLY ALREADY CHEAPER he does, good or bad. If he does hold, and which determined the contents ofthis book, was in large ANYWAY! something bad, he cannot blame BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN LATELY, OUR STORE God or institutions. The conse­ measure worked out at 3AM with Dennis Prager." If only all of us DOES LOOK QUITE DIFFERENT. HOWEVER, BAREFEET (FOR THOSE SO quences of this belief binds the INCLINED) IS STILL ALLOWED! ! ! whole book, ifthere is any binding could work out our philosophy of life at 3AM with Dennis Prager! UNTIL NEXT WEEK ... thesis in a book about everything. (OR THE NEXT TIME I GET AROUND TO WRITING AN AD!) On blaming institutions for Some ofthe sayings are funny, things going wrong and thus deny­ some provocative, others insiring. ing responsibility, Charles Issawi But all are insightful, and that is GNP HOURS: M-F 11-7 SIS 11-5 comments, "Ifgarbage piles in the why I strongly recommend Un­ streets, that is not because people common Sense. THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRI DAY 6 MARCH Dodd Science Peps Up Swimmers

by R. Brown their side. Better than that-Dodd realized corollary, The Differential As the swimmers filed into the science was on their side. Heat-Flow Inequality!" tiny classroom, one question "Come on in here and put your "What's that?" This was ob­ burned in their tiny minds: How thinking caps on," said Coach viously a person who was could they defend their third-place Dodd, sitting in front of a chalk­ impressed by long, important­ conference standing against Oxy? smeared blackboard. sounding names. N 0... Although the Batdin' Beavers "Coach, I knew you taught "Our warm bodies can swim '" .D'5 held a 9 - 3 season record and had specialized math, but are you real­ faster than their warm bodies." o already beaten Oxy once, they ly qualified to teach science," asked Dodd was beaming. "In order to c:r: >­ knew that Oxy's coach would stop a nameless frosh. win we can't just complete, we .D o at nothing to avoid the embarrass­ "Well, now," answered Dodd, must compete. Repeat after me: "0 ..c ment of losing to Caltech again. "since my methods in nearly every Don't complete- compete. Q. Oxy's swimmers had a size advan­ subject are so different from the Don't complete-compete. tage over Caltech, but Caltech had norm, I am, in fact, the only Don't complete- compete ..." The Tricky Spin. Carol Choy warms up for her tennis match against something better- science was on qualified person to teach these Picture a small room full of La Verne's number one player. The Wednesday match was a close one for Caltech, but the result was La Verne 6, Caltech 3. methods. I can teach every soggy people becoming very ex­ CAl.:IECH discipline except English. They cited by this chant. ~tttJUip took away my credentials on that "Enough," commanded Dodd. one because my new syntax was "That is my Christmas wisdom, my Tech Track's Tricks just too radical." No-"L" message for you." RIVERBOAT REVUE COMES The tired senior in the back row "Sir, that is a terrible pun, and by Bum Runner of the hurdles tackled him. TO BECKMAN AUDITORIUM asked, "What are you teaching it's out of season." The Caltech track team made a John Beck once again raced to TIDS WEEKEND today?" "True, but I never got it out of very good accounting of itself last two season's bests in the 1500m Mississippi Jambalaya, an all­ "I thought I'd begin with the my system because this is the first Saturday at Pomona-Pitzer's NEW and 800m recording a 1500m time singing, all-dancing, all-American theory of Thermo-Fluid Mechan­ and only swimming article of the BLUE TRACK, making some serious of 4:08.4s and. 800m time of revue comes to Beckman Auditorium ics," began Dodd. "The theory year." efforts and improving performan­ 2:00.51s. states that if Caltech can find "Well, do you think we'll be ces over the past two weeks. Andrew Stevens took second in Saturday night at 8 p.m. This intrigu­ enough warm bodies to fill all the able to do it? Will all this help us In a meet that featured twelve his heat of the 100m in 12.20 ing show combines New Orleans swimming events, it can beat Oxy beat Oxy?" Everyone was on the teams of NCAA Division III despite being hampered by muscle jazz, Memphis Blues, St. Louis at the SCIAC championships. edge of his seat for the answer. caliber from the western region, spasms in his back. Ray Hu Ragtime and Dixieland jazz with Red However, there is a thermal limit, "I already know that Caltech there was plenty of top level com­ established himself as an 800m Hot Mamas, Riverboat Gamblers and that is that all the warm bodies will crush Oxy, Redlands and petition to be found. Caltech's runner at this meet as he first and dancing floozies to capture the in the world won't help you beat Whittier by at least 60 points each gung-ho athletes did not shrink lowered his best steeplechase time spirit and roots of Americana Pomona or Claremont." for two reasons. from the challenge but instead to 10:59.40, then came back to run CIT student prices to this show "Sounds great! Let's go do "One: this article was written welcomed it. a personal record: 800m in are $10.00-8.75-7.50; CIT rush it ..." Swimmers were halfway out after the meet, and two: I did the Randy Ralph cleared 6'2" in the 2:05.39s. That's a tough double! tickets go on sale the day ofthe show the door. scoring at the meet. But the mists high jump to claim fourth place. He Speaking of tough doubles, for $6.00. CIT faculty and staff Dodd stopped them. "There's oftime are thick and certain details was a hair away from cleanly mak­ John Gehring ran 10,000 meters in prices are $18.00-15.50-13.00; onJ.y one problem," he said. "The are hard to make out. For instance, ing 6'4". Chris Schofeild won his 34:23.4s and also came back later how did RandyTM reserve all eight to run the 800m in 2:07.04s. The TECHTIX for the same price as CIT Occidental swimmers have read heat of the 400m in 56.35s with my paper on this subject and will lanes for himself for his race, and Ted Rogers hot on his heels at 10K time is John's best time either student tickets go on sale today bet­ bring their own warm bodies. what is the meaning of the 56.60s. Rogers later attempted the on the road or on the track. The ween noon and 4:30 p.m. Which brings us to the newly- mysterious 'Very Large Array'?" 400m intermediate hurdles but one rubber is still burning! Steven Traugh and Supercus­ Chandra Raman represented sion return to Beckman Auditorium the team in the triple jump while on Sunday with a concert at 2 p.m. WEEKLY SPORTS eALENDAR Dave Gates rested his ailing ankle. This superb band lights up the stage Raman jumped 33'6 1/z". with an exotic array ofvoices, brass, Day Date Time Sport Opponent Location Eric Smith not only pole synthesizers and percussion woven Fri. 3-6 3:00PM Tennis (M) Fort Lewis College Caltech vaulted 12'6" to a personal record, into an Afro-Latin beat. Designed Fri. 3-6 ALL DAY Fencing Men's NCAA West. Regional Cal State Fullerton but also ran a season's best of Fri. 3-6 ALL DAY Golf S.c. Intercollegiate Tournament Torrey Pines especially for children, this show Sat. 3-7 ALL DAY Golf S.c. Intercollegiate Tournament Torrey Pines 62.93s in the 400m intermediate opens Caltech Public Events' "Family Sat. 3-7 ALL DAY Fencing Men's NCAA West. Regional Cal State Fullerton hurdles. He wanted to run that race Faire" series. Sat. 3-7 11:00AM Track La Verne, Whittier, Masters, ChristCaltech so badly that he somehow managed Sat. 3-7 11:00AM Tennis (W) Redlands Caltech CIT student prices to this con­ to miss three times at 13' in the Sat. 3-7 12 NOON Baseball Pac. Coast Baptist Bible College Caltech (2) vault so he would have plenty of cert are $4.00. CIT faculty and staff Sat. 3-7 1:30PM Tennis (M) Christ College Christ College time to warm up for his event. price is $6.00; TECHTIX for the Sun. 3-8 ALL DAY Fencing Men's NCAA West. Regional Cal State Fullerson Sun. 3-8 3:00PM Women's Soccer TNT Caltech Garry Bloomberg used a strong same price as CIT student tickets go Mon. 3-9 1:00PM Golf Whittier Occidental finishing kick over the last eight on sale today between noon and 4:30 Tue. 3-10 3:00PM Baseball La Verne ]V Caltech hundred meters of the 5000m to p.m. Tue. 3-10 3:00PM Tennis (M) Redlands Caltech Wed. 3-11 1:00PM Golf Pomona-Pitzer La Verne record his fastest time ever. He Tonight don't miss "My Wed. 3-11 3:00PM Tennis (W) Christ College Caltech clocked 17:09.7s. Darin Acosta Switzerland," an Armchair Adven­ Wed. 3-11 9:45PM Ice Hockey U.S.c. Pasadena Ice Center also ran the 5K and finished in tures travel film personally narrated Thu. 3-12 All Day Swimming (W) NCAA Div. 3 Nationals Canton, Ohio 17:23s after having earlier run Fri. 3-13 All Day Swimming (W) NCAA Div. 3 Nationals Canton, Ohio by Kenneth Richter. This presenta­ 1500m in 4:29s. tion will be held in Beckman Sean Hillyard ran his best ever Auditorium beginning at 8 p.m. CIT 1500m with a Jim Ryun-type kick students' price for this fIlm is $6.00. on the last lap, overtaking several CIT faculty and staff prices are runners in the process to clock $7.50-6.00. 4:26.9s. Meanwhile, the sprinters were The Premiat Trio will give a blazing the track. Konstantin free Dabney Lounge Chamber Music Othmer ran the 200m in 24.32s, Concert Sunday at 3:30 p.m. Includ­ while Tom Tetzlaff clocked ed in their program will be the works 24.84s. Additionally, we unveiled of Beethoven, Loeillet and Ravel. two new sprinters in Will Evans Next Wednesday Dr. Jeremy and Randy Ralph who blazed Mould, associate professor of PATIO RESTAURANT respectable times of 25.06s and Astronomy, will give a free Watson 25.34s. lecture entitled "Hubble's Constant: "A unique restaurant with great food at Dee Morrison threw the discus How Fast is the Universe Expan­ 88'51fz", the javelin 68'Vz", and the ding?" The presentation will begin a reasonable price. " shot 27'1" for a truly Earth­ at 8 p.m. in Beckman Auditorium. -Elmer Dills, KABC TV shattering triple. Admission is free. The final event ofthe meet was "Has a nice comfortable patio and the 1600m relay in which the Next Friday, March 13, guitarist Caltech team equalled its best time Liona Boyd will perform in inexpensive cuisine. " of the year in spite of missing an Beckman Auditorium at 8 p.m. In­ - Paul Wallach, Westways Magazine important cog in the wheel. Since cluded in her program will be selec­ Famous for our Swedish pancakes, Alex Athanasopoulos was hurting, tions from Satie, Fortin, Albeniz, we substituted Tom Tetzlaff to Torres, Bustamante, Lara and Boyd. open-faced sandwiches, fantastic omelets compliment Konstantin Othmer, CIT student prices to this show and delicious cakes and pastries Andrew Stevens, and John Beck. are $8.75-7.50-6.25; CIT rush The result was a fourth place finish Open to serve you Monday thru Saturday 7: 30 am-5 pm tickets go on sale the day ofthe show of 3:31.96. for $6.00. CIT faculty and staff This weekend is a home meet prices are $15.50-13.00-10.50; Join us Sundays on our new Fox STANTON TRACK. TECHTIX for the same price as CIT We are hosting the teams from student tickets go on sale Friday, 8am-4pm Whittier, La Verne, Chapman, UCSD, Christ College, and March 13 between noon and 4:30 Masters College. All fans are p.m. 2S years in pasadena welcome and this week only there For further information about Reservations accepted • Me ~Visa atCepted is no admission fee. But get there the exciting Public Events scheduled early to reserve a seat in the for this season, call campus exten­ .. 230 S. Lake Ave., Pasadena, 81 -8044 bleachers. Field events start at sion 4652. acres offree parkin$ .. 11AM, running events at 12:20PM. See you there! 8THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 6 MARCH 1987 I------WHAT GOES ON-----'------I St. Patrick's Celebration Announcements for What Goes On must Boarders Missing S.W.E. Scholarships Come celebrate St. Patrick's Day with The MIT hockey team will be coming The Southern California sections of the be submitted on an announcement form the Master's Office, Friday, March 13 at A small black cat with white fur under out to SoCal during spring break to play its neck and on its paws, (i.e., Oreo), has Society ofWomen Engineers is sponsoring (available outside 107 Winnett) or on a 5: 15 pm. Enjoy pipers and drummers Caltech and other college teams. Ifyou can been missing since last weekend. It was last several $1,000 scholarships for 1987-88. plain piece of paper. Please indicate the parading down the Olive Walk, followed by date(s) you want the announcement to put up a player or two from Saturday, 21 seen looking very confused near the Millikan Applicants must have high academic abili­ music and dancing. Eat, drink, dance, be March to Saturday, 28 March, please call ty, participate in technical organizations, and run. Send announcements to 107-51, or merry-be Irish! pond. The cat recently underwent surgery put them in the mail slot in the door of Haj Sano at JPL ext. 40995 or 797-5995. and it is imperative that it be found so that show leadership. Application material must 107 Winnett. Attention Hungry People it can be taken to the vet to have the stitches be postmarked by 15 March 1987. More in­ Announcements must be received by the removed. If you see it wandering around formation is available from the Financial Aid The Red Door Cafe's staff is happy to Fast Digits Office, 12-63. Tuesday prior to publication. announce that the Cafe will now be open on The nimble fingers of Jessica Madow campus, please bring it to me, Shubber Ali, in room 7 in Fleming. A reward of $15 is Saturdays from 12 to 5 pm to serve its tradi­ tickle the ivories in music by Bach, Kodak Scholarship being offered. Thank you. One Kodak scholarship will be award­ tional fresh coffee, teas, espresso, juices, Beethoven, Chopin, Faure, Griffes and ed to a sophomore in Electrical Engineer­ Letter Jackets and delicious baked goods and bulbous Liszt. The concert is Thursday, March 12 ing. The scholarship will be made on the An order will be put in for Caltech Let­ bagels. An expanded menu-designed ac­ at 8:00 pm in Dabney Hall Lounge, and is More Holes In Your Head Ear piercing is now available (for basis ofacademic and personal excellence, terman Jackets within the next few weeks. cording to the expressed desires of our open to the public, free of charge. If you are interested in ordering a jacket, Saturday visitors - will be available before students only) at the Health Center. This ser­ without regard to financial need. The please contact Chris Schofield at 795-4760. third term begins. So come bring your ap­ All-Mozart Concert vice is offered on Monday, Tuesday, Thurs­ amount of the annual scholarship will be * day and Friday evenings by appointment on­ petites and ideas to the Red Door Cafe. An all-Mozart concert featuring the of tuition. Applications and additional in­ Iy. To schedule an appointment please con­ AT&T Awards Caltech Chamber Singers, student soloists formation are available in the Financial Aid tact Linda Pinson, L.V.N., after 5:30 pm Office, 515 S.. Wilson Ave. (12-63). Ap­ On Thursday, February 19th, the third from Music 101 and Canadian concert Attention Fishermen (except Wednesday) at x6393. The cost (in­ plication deadline is March 27, 1987. AT&T Research and Development Awards Beginners fly casting lessons may be pianist Wendy Caldwell will be presented cluding earrings) is $5. of$500 each were presented to three Caltech starting third term. This would be a begin­ at 8 pm on Saturday, March 7 in Dabney SSSSP Summer Jobs undergraduates. AT&T donated this money ners class open to all students, faculty and Hall Lounge. The concert is free. Become a Zoo Docent Lee F. Browne, Director of Secondary to recognize juniors in Electrical Engineer­ staff. A limited number of rods and reels Works to be performed include Missa Los Angeles Zoo Docents provide tours School Relations, needs 12 teachers and 15 ing or Computer Science for academic ex­ will be available. Basic fly casting techni­ Brevis, K 192; bass arias from The Magic to students, teach youth and adult workshops counselors for this year's SSSSP program. cellence. The awards were presented over ques will be stressed. Those of you in­ Flute and The Marriage ofFigaro, sung by in the zoo, and present classroom programs Counselors will be living in the student dinner at the Athenaeum by Mr. Alex Gillon terested, please contact Tom Perry on cam­ junior Doug Roberts; the adagio from Violin in Los Angeles area schools. Applications houses with the SSSSPers, and 3 people each of AT&T to: Jinane Abounadi, Ignacio pus, x4705. Concerto #5, performed by senior John are now available for the Fall 1987 Provi­ are needed to help the high-schoolers with: McQuirk and Masahiro Sayano. Simpson; the rondo finale of the Clarinet sional Class scheduled for Tuesdays Chemistry, Molecular Biology, Physics Soviet Ecology Tour Concerto played by senior Nancy Drehw­ 9:30-2:30 beginning October 6, or the Satur­ (with Calculus), and Physics (with Trig). Dissent in the Church An ecological tour of the Soviet Union ing; and the complete Piano Concerto #21, day class beginning October 10. Deadline Undergrads interested should call x6207 or On Saturday, March 14th at 8:00 pm in will be conducted this August by invitation in A major, K 488. The program will be for applications is May I. Interested men go to the Secondary School Relations Of­ the Millikan Board Room, Dr. William E. of the Soviet government and coordinated conducted by Dr. Donald Caldwell and will and women should call the Greater Los fice at 515 S. Wilson and talk to Lee Browne May (Catholic University ofAmerica) will by Source Media. It appears that more con­ feature a full orchestra and organ. Angeles Zoo Association at (213) 664-1100. or his secretary Virginia. address the theme "Dissent in the Church". sideration and latitude than conventional Leadership America Conference sponsored by the Newman tourist groups can be anticipated; this should Gay/Lesbian Discussion Group The International Leadership Center is Center at Caltech. All members of the lead to free interchanges and perhaps the for­ The Chess Club Is Alive! An ongoing discussion group on seeking applicants for its summer-long Caltech community are welcome. mation of lasting personal relationshiops The chess Club will be starting at the Gay/Lesbian topics is held every Tuesday leadership development program. Fifty with Soviet citizens and scientists. The beginning of third term. We will be spon­ evening from7:30-9:45PM at the Archibald outstanding men and women from campuses GM Scholarships group is prepared to accept up to 15 addi­ soring many activities, including a General Motors is offering scholarships Young Health Center. All members of the across the country will be selected to spend tional members with ecological interests, as simultaneous exhibition, tournament, and for 1987-88. Students who are currently Caltech community are welcome. 10 weeks strengthening their leadership long as they are in good health and condi­ regular playing session. So if you'd like to sophomores, have a minimum 3.2 GPA, and Refreshments are provided. For further in­ skills. The program takes place between tion to undertake the planned field trips. Pro­ be involved in any of these activities, you are U.S. citizens or permanent residents are formation please contact Bruce Kahl, x6393. June 12, 1987 and August 22, 1987. bably because ofthe anticipated benefits of can get further information by sending your eligible to apply. The scholarship covers tui­ Leadership America includes one week this information exchange mission, the name and mail code t6 Huy Cao at I-54 Women's Water Polo tion, those fees directly related to course in North Carolina, one week in the Rocky unusually low price of $2850 has been set or by calling 578-9294. Will there be a team this year? Contact work, and an annual book allowance of Mountains and three weeks in Dallas, by the Soviet Union in spite ofthe devalued me, Randy Brown, at 578-9562, Fleming $200. Applications and further information Texas. It also includes a four-week intern­ dollar. For further information contact: Room 48, if you're interested. Leave a are available in the Financial Aid Office, ship in business, government, or community Source Media, Box 1143, Canoga Park, CA message with my personal secretary, Jim 12-63. Deadline is March 25. Fight, Meeting and Meal service followed by a closing session in 91304. Phone (818) 992-4526. The Caltech Medieval/Renaissance Burleigh, if I'm not in. Washington, D.C. Society will be holding a fighting practice Students incur few expenses in Leader­ ACADEMY LDSSA Guest Speaker (medieval-style armored combat) outside Rotary Foundation $$$ ship America since most costs are under­ The Caltech Latter- Day Saint Student Winnett Student Center this Sunday (March Talented young people with an interest written by corporate sponsors. In fact, par­ BARBER SHOP Association (LDSSA) is sponsoring a guest 8) at 1:00 pm. At 3:00 pm there will be the in international study are invited to apply ticipants receive a $3,000 stipend which off­ 27 No. Catalina, Pasadena speaker and open discussion on ''The Logic regular monthly meeting in Clubroom I of for the Rotar International Scholarship. sets any expenses as well as their loss of in­ Open Tues.-Sat., 8 A.M.-5 P.M. of Mormonism" in the Winnett Lounge, Winnett, along with a potluck dinner (bring Forms are obtainable from the Career come during the summer. Wednesday March 11 at 7: 30PM. All food!) and a costuming workshop after the Development Center and the deadline is To be eligible for selection to Leader­ 449-1681 members of the Caltech Community business meeting. For more information, March 16, 1987. There are five different ship America, a student must be currently welcome. call Amy at 794-2612. types of scholarships: Graduate, enrolled and have completed the junior year Undergraduate, Vocational, Teacher ofthe of studies by June 12, 1987. The primary ~l]~~1r~ Handicapped, and Journalism. criterion for selection is that the student have Donald S. Goldstein, an "outstanding potential for leadership". - -_~L-t-t·~ t~~._j., 1-T~--t-T-:rfFt+l'~:i~+-1 Selection will be completed by May 1. For I+'I-\-i-:-"-L'+~-HL'~~il:.t1'lhttITILrLi M.A., MFCT additional information, contact Jeanne Noda in the Deans' Office, 102 Parsons-Gates. Don't be fooled by the name 49 NORTH ALTADENA DRIVE Psychotherapy PRIVATE INSTRUCTION Application Deadline is March ZOo PASADENA UN'.~7\\t'OltCd Individual - Couple - Group Therapy cbi~~i,,·,,~fl{.• (818) 793-2582 PIANO • ORGAN • GUITAR st~-'."~·. Motivational Therapy Break Procastination Habits Popular & Classical r------ALTERATIONS ~ RagTime I Buy 1 Get 1 Free RESTYLING Serving Los Angeles and San Gabriel Valley Area Kemp-Blair Music Studio • On Green. with this ad TAILORING since 1960 • RESALE CLOTHING ~ Validated parking INVISIBLE REWEAVING (818) 281-9286 (818) 449-6196 • for • Union & Fair Oaks structure. Special rates for Caltech/ JPL community State License M12643 Alhambra • WOMEN.. 1405 San Marino Avenue eM-Thurs. 10-5., F-Sat 10-3 • San Marino, California 91108 4 (818) 796-9924 • ~ ] 136 E. Green St., Pasadena ~ PASADENA SCIENTIFIC .------." PARIAN TRAVEL I TECHNICAL BOOIS Caltech Officially Approved W, Stock Sebo/,,/,I 'ro('SS;ORl/ Books ;n: Most courteous, economical and efficient service CLASSIFIED ENGINEERING· HANDBOOKS· SCIENCES· MATH for your official and personal travel needs. AEROSPACE· COMPUTERS· BUS.INESS • CODES Free service to yOU. NURSING· PSYCHOLOGY· ARCHITECTURE· DESIGN HELP WANTED- For an introductory offer a complimentary $50.00 DONORS NEEDED for off-campus sperm - We Specialize in: worth of fine dining checks will be offered with the bank. Earn up to $105 Iwk. For info. call FAST DELIVERY • SPECIAL ORDERS purchase of min. $100.00 travel tickets (one per family). (213) 553-3270. PHONE ORDERS (818) 577-8200 EXCELLENT INCOME for part time home 468 S. Sierra Madre Boulevard, Pasadena assembly work. For info. call M-Thur. 9-6 Fri. 9-5 C!C 504-641-8003 Ext. 8738. Saturday 10-4 =194-4499 HOUSING- 1388 E. WASHINGTON BL. - PASADENA CALTECH FEMALE PROF. looking for roommate to find and share a 2 bdrm. house, nice area PASADENA, CA 91125 near campus. Prefer femalegrad/faculty. USC graduate, clean. (818) 504-9502 1/3 OFF SERVICES- INSURANCE WAR! We'll beat anyone's prices or don't want your business. STUDENTS Sports cars, multiple tickets, good-driver discounts. Request "Caltech Plan." (818) 992-6966 or (213) 873-3303. Shampoo, Style Cut CAL TECH BOOKSTORE- POCKET TV, FITS IN YOUR HAND. Just MEN Reg. $18.00 NOW $12.00 right for office, beach, or lab. Receives all regular vhf & uhf channels. Battery WOMEN Reg. $22.00 NOW $15.00 operated. CALTECH BOOKSTORE. RATES ...... $2.50 for first 25 words; ... 10¢ for each additional word. 449-6967 Send written ad with payment to 107-51. The California Tech is published weekly except during examination and vacation No charge for on-campus lost & found. 1009 E. COLORADO • PASADENA periods by Associated Students of the California Institute of Technology, Inc.