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Declaration of Self-Esteem”, 5-27-04

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Declaration of Self-Esteem”, 5-27-04 PAGE 1 DuPage County Juvenile Detention Center 420 N. County Farm Road Wheaton, IL 60187 630.407.2500 April 2003 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This is the first edition workbook for a gender responsive group especially created for girls in detention by Juvenile Detention Officer Sharon Goddard. The credit for this book starts with the Gender Responsive Committee of DuPage County Probation & Court Services Department which began three years ago to address the ladies we service. National speaker, Paula Schaeffer gave us direction. This committee led the way for the development of gender specific programming for girls in detention with a girls group. A pilot girl’s group was created and run by probation officer Tracy P and detention officer Sharon G in the detention center. This workbook was adapted and created from this group, and with help from detention and probation staff. Thanks to Stacy C, Kathy S, Sarah S, and Tracy P for feedback, input, editing and support; Lora B for enthusiastic editing, formatting, graphic selections and layout; to the brave, talented ladies of J Pod for the input, gifts of the heart poetry, and inspiration – Michele B, Michele B2 , Jennifer A, Nicole F, Jeanette C, Melissa C, Estella R, Holly B, Laura G, Jasmine C, Jessica P and Margarita D. Topic ideas for this program was adapted from several sources, and changed to fit the needs of our ladies. 1) Girls Circle: Promoting Resiliency and Self Esteem in Adolescent Girls. Tides/girls’ Circle Association, 327 golden Gate Ave., Pt. Richmond, CA. Copyright 1997. 2) ABC Curriculum created by Jan Johncox and Barb Bauer. 3) Dynamics of Relations – 7th Edition, by Patricia Kramer, 1988 Equal Partners. 4) Boundaries – Where You End & I Begin, by Anne Katherine, 1991 Hazelden. 5) www.msa.edu/~hought20/phenomenal.html/. Maya Angelou, “Phenomenal Woman”, 5-27-04 6) www.lenon.com/satir.htm. Virginia Satir, “I Am Me” and “Declaration of Self-Esteem”, 5-27-04. 7) Keenan, Shelia, Scholastic Encyclopedia of Women in U.S. NY: Scholastic, 2002 8) Quotable Women, Philadelphia, Pa.: Running Press, 1991. 9) Dee, Catherine, Girl’s Book of Wisdom. NY: Little, Brown, Co., 1999. PAGE 2 T rue Life of a Child M y heart is like A fragile child W aiting in the cold A sking herself, “H ow A m I staying so very strong and bold?” Everyday she w onders W hy nobody stayed around B ut she know s for sure T hey w ould have been proud S ooner or later she’ll Com e to see that S he is special in every w hich w ay. M ichele B . PAGE 3 PAGE 4 THE QUESTIONS OF LIFE CONTENTS What's This All About? 7 Why Do I Do What I Do? 9 Who Am I? 12 How Would I Defend Myself? 17 What's Out There? 19 Who's That Girl? 24 What Am I Made of.. Sugar & Spice? 38 What Do I Believe In? 47 What Pushes My Button? 54 Where Do I Come From? 60 Who Do I Hang With? 71 What's Love Gotta Do With It? 75 Where Am I Going? 83 PAGE 5 PAGE 6 What‘s This? This is a book for you, about you, and in some ways, by you. This book is dedicated to all the young ladies who have passed through the doors of this center and to all the ones yet to come. Girls are different from boys. Well, duh?! However, the justice system hasn‘t always acted on this fact. Many programs and services are geared to those who started in the system years ago-males. Right now, female populations in locked facilities are increasing. These populations have distinct needs. You have distinct needs. There aren‘t many places that attempt to address those needs, but we will here. What do you need? Research states that girls have specific needs to prevent them from re-offending and staying in the system. Those needs are: 1. Learn about healthy relationships 2. Increase self-esteem 3. Increase pro-social skills/values 4. Learn healthy boundaries 5. Learn about healthy, positive family environments 6. Learn about positive sexual development 7. Increase positive minority and gender identity PAGE 7 Included in this book are facts and information to start you thinking about the world and your behavoirs. There are exercises to help you sort out your thoughts and plans. Quotes from famous women are scattered throughout to illustrate points. Also there are biographies of famous women to inspire you to build on your strengths and make changes. One last feature is poetry written by you - girls in detention. These are the most crucial element in some ways as it is girls like you, girls who sometimes have lived through your pain and see the world through your eyes. These will possibly be the most influential in your making changes. Feel free to write poems in this book as well. You can share them with the group or for later groups to help them out. Pass on the wisdom. As relationships are central to your development of yourself as a female, the entire book is organized around relationships. We will focus on your relationship with yourself, with friends, with dating, and with family. This curriculum is separated into parts by answering some crucial questions, —Who are you?“ —What do you believe in?“ "Where do you come from?“ PAGE 8 WHY DO I DO WHAT I DO? Relationships are key components in your lives as women. Research indicates that the central aspect of women‘s functioning in the world is the depth of relationships she has with those around her, the human connections. *How important are relationships to you in your day to day life? *What are the important relationships in your life? The definition of relationship is —the connection, state of affairs existing among people related to or dealing with one another.“ There are different types and levels of relationships. *Name the different types of relationships you can think of. PAGE 9 Relationships vary depending on who you have a relationship with, how deep the relationship is, how much interaction you have with the person. The basis for all relationships is the relationship we have with ourselves. The most important person we can have a relationship with is ourselves. As the Restorative Justice model discusses, this relationship plays a large part in our behaviors. If we don‘t know who we are or like who we are then it makes it difficult to connect socially with another. Part of this program will work on assisting you to get a clear idea of who you are, what you believe in, and building on your strengths to reduce the risk of you being unsuccessful. • What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Are you happy with yourself? How do you show it? The Restorative Justice model also identifies several other people we can have relationships with under the general listing of community. This can be further divided into family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, teachers, significant others, spiritual being, and society. Parts of this program will focus on identifying who you have relationships with, assessing how helpful these relationships are to you and your success, developing the skills to determine healthy relationships and boundaries, and how your interactions with others can play a part in your success. • What are some of the relationships you have in your life? • What are some relationships you would like to have in your life? PAGE 10 “With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” Eleanor Roosevelt Throughout this program we will be asking you to look at things in different ways. We will look at how you can change the way you relate with yourself and others. If what you discover isn’t what you’d like it to be, we will give you ideas on changing it. But only you can change. The first step with any change is dissatisfaction. You must be unhappy, uncomfortable or bored with things the way they are in order for you to want to change them. Change can be very scary. We become comfortable with the way our lives are. Even if our lives are not all that attractive looking to others, we feel a sense of comfort in “knowing” what to expect. This is not always healthy and seldom productive. Without change we would never grow up, the world would stand still, and we would all be living in caves. Change is very natural and on going. It is all around us. This program was created to assist you in that sometimes-painful process. We will give you the information and tools you need to recognize that a change may be beneficial, inspire you with famous strong women who have made some significant changes, and help start you on your own change journey. Come along with us. Women who rock Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was born into an affluent and political family in 1884. She wed her fifth cousin, Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1905. She became the First Lady of the United States when Franklin D. Roosevelt took the office of President. As he held this office for four successive terms, she was the longest running First Lady in U.S. histroy-16 years. Both before and after her marriage she was an advocate of social reform. She focused on the poor and disadvantaged. As her husband had limited ability to move around due to polio, she became very visible. She performed her tasks as First Lady as well as representing him at many PAGE 11 functions.
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