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The Languages of Love Are Too Many to Count

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The Languages of Love Are Too Many to Count IN 2017, CELEBRATING 25 YEARS IN PUBLICATION Enlighten Up! with The Aquarian WINTER 2016 Volume 24 • Issue 4 INSIDE FEATURES CONNECTING Only 5 love languages? .................1 A lifetime with turmeric...............4 The sacred sound of singing bowls .........................................6 ‘Chakradance’ with your soul ..10 Balance your personality with astrology ........................11 OPINION It’s not easy being vegan ............3 COLUMNS EarthTalk: Autism and pollution link? ...........................................1 Growing up trans .........................7 Winter solstice: Here comes the sun ...........................................12 Lakser: You don’t have to be whole to be lovable...............13 Cassiopeia - Winterpeg wonderland............ ............... 18 Speaking the languages of love BOOKS 'Chakradance' with your soul Inside your dog’s head ..............14 You don't have to be whole to hook up The Languages of Love E – The Environmental Magazine are too Many to Count Autism: How I discovered Gary Chapman’s “5 Love Languages” is a crock Environmental By MEG CRANE My partner and I were together for three years before calling it quits. Less Causes? ow do we love than two years later, we’re Hsomeone when giving it another go, but Dear EarthTalk: What is the latest thinking we don’t know how to having some problems. on the environmental causes (if any) love them? This wasn’t Image by mmstudiodesign We’ve realized the issues a question I ever asked boiled down to each of autism? I hear so much conflicting myself until a few of us not feeling loved, information I don’t know what to believe. months ago when a yet thinking we were – Bill Stribling, Austin, TX friend asked me which frequently expressing love language I speak. I our love to one another. I n the 1980s, about one in 2,000 American kids didn’t have a clue what thought Chapman could Iwas diagnosed with autism. Today the number is he was talking about. help as we dealt with this around one in 68, according to estimates from the U.S. What he was referring communication problem. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Autism to was Gary Chapman’s In his book, Chapman and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring Network. book series on “The 5 goes over many examples This disconcerting increase has led to intensified Love Languages.” We of couples who have investigation into which environmental factors may chatted about it a bit, but effectively fixed their I wanted to know more, play a role in the disorder’s development. A wide range relationships by figuring of exposures have been scientifically linked to autism, so I picked up one of his out what their love audio books from the languages are. In many including air pollutants, phthalates and other endocrine library. cases, people show love in the way that they want to disruptors, pesticides such as Chlorpyrifos, and many Essentially, Chapman has a theory that there are five receive love, not knowing their actions don’t translate more. Vaccines were considered a leading culprit, but love languages: acts of service, physical touch, quality to love for their partner. more recent research has proven this connection wrong time, presents and affirming words. Everyone has one Once someone’s love language is identified, their – although the subject still engenders much debate. primary love language. When the people we love do partner can consult Chapman’s list of suggestions for A 2014 study by researchers at the Harvard School of things that speak our language, we truly feel their love. how to show love in that way, or they can brainstorm Public Health found a strong link between autism and When they do acts that don’t speak to us, we might a list of their own. For people who need quality time, in utero exposure to air pollution: the risk of autism was not understand someone is trying to show us love, according to Chapman. See LOVE on page 17 See AUTISM on page 18 2 Winter 2016 ~ Enlighten Up! www.aquarianonline.com www.aquarianonline.com Winter 2016 ~ Enlighten Up! 3 Grace Under Pressure Being Vegan in an ‘Omni’ World By ROBIN SMYTH to an unenlightened server can be so daunting, a (to ensure I get adequately fed), it gets immediately person almost wants to head home and just fry up a hoovered up by everyone else at the table, with here is something about the vegan lifestyle that block of tofu already. everyone looking wildly surprised and making “I Teither mystifies or angers the rest of the earth’s My favourite server-related experience was being can’t believe it’s so yummy!” noises. Sigh. human population. In secret, some vegans may offered chicken as a vegetable option while a table The most uncomfortable thing about being vegan call this meat and dairy consuming demographic full of my non-vegan friends collapsed with laughter. by far is having to explain my choice to others and “carnies,” as in carnivore, or “omnis,” for omnivore. I had their sympathy, and they could not believe being put in a place where I am meant to defend From personal and shared experience, the vegan any functioning person thought that a chicken was myself. consensus, in this city at least, is that most Pass. Thanks for asking, though. non-vegan people don’t really understand Most vegans are nonconfrontational and why we chose veganism or what it is that we would choose not to escalate a discussion sometimes have to tolerate. into a raging debate on whether or not plants Holding one’s head up in the face of have feelings. It’s incredibly inappropriate judgment and insensitivity takes a modicum to expect a person to detail and defend a of grace and restraint; it’s definitely not personal life choice, and it’s not a very always easy to feel targeted for making comfortable place to be, trust me. choices based on compassion. Speaking for Yes, we have all seen the rabid, picketing, myself and in a general sense, vegans are placard-wearing, bucket-of-blood-throwing only too willing to (kindly) share insight activists in the media. I want to state honestly and recipes in the most non-judgmental and that they are not a true depiction of the vast welcoming way possible. majority of vegans and their behaviour. I have bitten back retorts to incredibly For every group of true believers, there are mean and hurtful comments at work, while always a few extremists. Unfortunately, dining in public and on social media. I have these are the people that will inevitably be dreaded, left or declined events based on how featured on the evening news or in your I have been treated by others in attendance. Dale Image by Ron Facebook feed. Without getting into an explicit rant about Most of the vegans I know are truly gentle cruelty to animals and detailing exactly souls who wouldn’t dream of telling another what speciesism is and why it should be person how to live their lives. Myself eradicated, I’d far rather stick to observing included. Would we like to see the world some of the challenges that vegans face as a go vegan? Absolutely and for many reasons. minority in an omnivorous society. The best advice I can give on lifestyle First of all, even though product selection choices, if indeed my advice is welcome, is has vastly improved in recent years, shopping for grown in a garden. I ended up having a very large to do some research on what the documented and vegan items is an Olympic event-sized challenge. order of french fries for dinner as I could not trust verifiable impacts of your choices are on you, your It can be described as a treasure hunt, with vegan the “deer in the headlights” head-tilting server to family, other living creatures and our planet. chocolate cake as a big fat prize at the finale for bring me foods that didn’t have parents. Without The decision to live compassionately, gently and finding cruelty-free hair colour and lotion in under my friend the potato, I would have gone hungry on graciously then is yours to make. six hours without using the Internet or the “call a many such dinner dates. vegan friend” option. Family dinners can sometimes feel like a slow An avid animal activist and supporter of A massive thank you goes out to local eateries for descent into a flaming hot pit of despair, wherein human rights, Robin Smyth credits her updating their menus and approach to vegan cuisine, the vegan option is generally a tossed salad with beloved dog Lacie as her inspiration for because we, as a collective, also enjoy dining out no dressing and a glass of water with an organic pivotal life changes, including her vegan on occasion. Every now and again, though, the lemon wedge jauntily garnishing the rim. When I lifestyle. Twitter: @RobinDS3. Website: ponderous task of explaining meat and dairy-free have brought my own meatless, dairy-free entrée robindsmyth.weebly.com. Advertise with The Aquarian We're more affordable than you think! [email protected] aquarianonline.com/inprint-advertise FREE online events calendar - submit your events today! 4 Winter 2016 ~ Enlighten Up! www.aquarianonline.com Turmeric is as Good as Gold, Only Better My lifetime of experience with the trendy Western superfood that is a staple of my Indo-Guyanese heritage By SANDRA SUHKAN live, he decided that he would use turmeric every day, properties that a simple search on the Internet can cooked in dhall, which, in our Guyanese tradition, is provide. Nor will I make authoritative health claims. e’ve all heard about the benefits of turmeric, a soup made from yellow split peas.
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