* Groceries Picked JlllfCi» & Delivered * Small Packages mIVUQ Fast Food

- -10 Monday Thursday 10 a.m. p.m. ot- Beer & Liquor Deliveries . 10 -11 Friday Sunday a.m. p.m. L.C.8.0. the -Opening December 1, 1995- cord fgISH y43°(SI7(D)

Union gets out the guns

KATHY CAWSEY, camera with the full intention of releasing the trary action. It would allow them to target ful. "The students have sufficient influence,"

AND like." said. "The students will have hand SABRINA SACCOCCIO minutes at a future date." individuals they just don't he a in

of LLONELLA GILBERT The minutes, which have not as yet been Nichols, however, pointed out that restrict- determining the destiny the new code by

Cord News at the Board of Governors' ratified by the BOD, make it clear that from ing Laurier's off-campus jurisdiction could participating nego-

The Students' Union kicked off an awareness the start the Union was unwilling to accept have negative effects for the students. "I would tiations on December5."

two campaign this week to inform students about any code that gave the University off-campus not like to lose my involvement whereby I can signs

the Code of Conduct. stu- ard of the the proposal for new jurisdiction. go off campus for | part

the "The both sides dents and them Union's Since the Administration's release of immovable point for is save Students' expanded code last week, the proposal has clearly over off-campus jurisdiction," said from a possible criminal awareness fire the Union ultra- of Students Fred Nichols. he come under by as being Dean However, record," said, citing campaign.

and Nichols called for the sides resolve "less which he conservative reactionary. two to cases in inter-

"We're not going to let this die," said Scott sticky" Issues in the Code of Conduct. vened for students and

McCormick, President of WLUSU. "[The uni- "I will be disappointed if sometime before asked that the university

- if versity] will know we're upset they'll face Dec. 5 we don't sit down and talk with the discipline them rather

5,000 angry students." Students' Union and the Adminstration," he than the courts.

The Union plans to raise awareness said. "We need to sit and talk - try to exhaust However, Nichols also through posters, "table-talkers," newspaper all efforts to compromise on other issues. Once admitted the code had

and e-mail and letter talk- faults. "1 advertisements, petitions tilings get turned over to lawyers we stop thought it was

started media drafted writing campaigns. They also a ing." being for clarity," campaign, sending news releases to local In their petitions, the Students' Union he said. "But in the view of

and local claimed the code students it's less newspapers, the CBC, Maclean's is "unconstitutional." many even

local the members of parliament. However, according to a lawyer, clear."

non-violent demonstration is that the code is unconstitutional "The Administration As well, a argument only made the planned. won't hold up in court. Code of Conduct

"This is why we're here," McCormick said. "I don't think they can use the constitution- clearer as to how they could

"We have the right to challenge the legitimacy al argument," said Hal Mattson, a lawyer who punish students," commented of All the students in criminal "But the any legislation.... informed specializes law. they might Julie Boyer, a Director of so far have been outraged." have a jurisdictional argument - that the Students' Union. "They did not

The Administration does not doesn't have to control what for university University the power change we wished believe the campaign reflects the opinions of the actions oftheir students." them to change." the entire student Wilfrid population. However, Because Laurier University is a Participants aren't hopeful Arthur of Stephen, Vice President University corporation, it does not fall under the rulings the issue will be resolved soon.

Relations 'The students have the said, right to of the Charter of Rights or the Canadian "I don't think [the awareness stand and in Constitution. up for themselves, are justified Furthermore, the code would campaignj will affect the execu- participating in the negotiations. [The negotia- likely have to be challenged in a specific court tive," McCormick said. "They're

will tions] definitely turn into an interesting case for it to be ruled as not legitimate. pretty entrenched." and heated debate." "I wouldn't have my kid go [to Laurier]," Nichols agreed. "The onl) The Union also released the minutes of the commented Mattson. "This code is unbeliev- way this issue will ever be in held camera meetings over the past four able. According to this [the Administration] finally resolved is if [the code] months. "We're to inform do well is in trying our con- can pretty anything. ever tested court,"he stituents," said Kevin MacDonald, "The scariest he "is it's said. secretary thing," added, so for the Board of Directors. "The Board went in broad, so vague, it basically allows for arbi- Stephens was more hope-

A holiday reading list

who too exhaustive, and should serve as the intent seems to be to stimulate all liberally injected with his we never really understand

JASON KALRA that much needed breather the reader, to inspire some abstract unmatched quality of sardonic, these people are, or what they're

words. Cord Entertainment (remember when reading was... speculation on the nature of time. A acidic humour. Look for the story dying to say with their This

the During the break 1 fully plan on fun?}. However, even if you're not brilliant, poetic offering, and an entitled "Chekov and Zulu", which is does not alienate reader; rather,

claks much of these reviews ideal those tale about surface confusion makes the catching up on assigned read- a reader, Christmas gift for on a tragically amusing this

even the Christmas list who dabble in the odd. Indian and their all the more exquisite, for ings, perhaps removing might assist you in shop- your Diplomats preoccu- dialogue

from of Books Salman Rushdie with Star Trek. each word harbor so protective wrapper some ping. make absolutely fantas- East, West by: pation seems to textbooks. tic Christmas A collection of nine The Matisse S. much and Still, ray gills (somewhat per- (Knopf, 1994). Stories, by: A. intensity purpose. Yet tells that BASY short that this lies experience me sonal, relatively inexpensive, stories are split up into Byatt(Chatto & Windus, 1995), Byatt beyond fascinating concept instead of such 1 TO three the excellence of the scholarly pursuits, WRAP), categories, each having par- offers three exquisitely written short true trilogy, die will in fact ticular characteristics: spend most of my holiday Einstein's Dreams, by: Alan Eastern, stories, but with an interesting hook; artwork which adorns the postcards front sitting in of my television in a (Warner, This book Western and (surprise!) both each in some relates to a that are sent back and forth. Not Lightman 1993). , way Count damp towel, eating Chocula offers a myriad of very short per- Eastern and Western. There is an Matisse painting. These influences only is the art itself simply gorgeous, Wee it was the elixir life, alternat- time. theme of alienation but the that of ceptions on 1 say perceptions; underlying to range from direct to subtle, yet, one you get Impression between ing Christmas cartoons instead of 'theories' because this these stories, yet what makes this doesn't have to know, like, or care there is a second layer of meaning and hockey, occasionally offering book is not scientific at all {I was book so wonderful Is that Rushdie about Matisse in order to enjoy contained within this artwork- clues

the odd to grunt those around me nauseated when some friends criti- allows each story to be read inde- these stones. Elegantly, Byatt opens which might ultimately explain the

(lest think I'm die this and they inanimate and cized book for not being scientif- pendent of the others; they are all an abstract discussion to tile possi- dynamics of unique pas-

to off - fact Baniock's try vacuum me}. On the ic enough the very that it isn't self-contained, and can be read on a bility that art, to some degree, has sionate relationship. mag-

chance that is some of you readers is what makes it so unique and purely entertaining level, or a deep- an effect on our perceptions. nificent fusion of text and art decide take for to - a break from study- charming). For example, one sec- er moral level, or both you decide. The Gnffin and Sabine Trilogy by: sometlting you'll have to see

tog. here is a smattering of book tion describes a universe where a East, West is a wonderful demon- Nick Bantock (Raincoast, 1992) This yourself to truly understand and reviews from the archives. In of lifetime is another stration of Rushdie's It'll light a day long, while astounding stunning trilogy documents the cor- appreciate. probably get a big the fact that still describes where individu- Christmas, you have that section a world ability to turn the ordinary into respondence between two display in bookstores at attractive Anthro to and effect are erratic. These fantastical and the als. This look. monograph cause something com- Is no ordinary correspon- so take a read, I've chosen books that aren't aren't vivid but rather into - dence with, Continued on 18 descriptions, monplace something exciting by any means. To begin page

News 3* Opinion 7 • Classifieds 9* Feature 10* Sports 12 • Entertainment 15*NSK 19

The tie that binds since 1926" • VOLUME XXXVI • ISSUE SIXTEEN • WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 1995 • WLU STUDENT PUBLICATIONS lADVERTISEMENTI

Judge, Jury

E

'

On December sth, the WLU Board Of Governors

plans to pass a new Code of Conduct.

This Code is unfair and unlawful and gives the

behav- University vast powers to regulate your iour both on- and off-campus. Please read a

Union to this copy and join your Students' fight injustice.

- Scott McCormick, WLUSU President

Copies of the code are

available in the

Students 1 union Offices.

■•J §\ \ V

WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY NEWS VP takestrip despitedisputed vote

KATHERINE HARDING WLUSU is running $35,000 over

Cord News budget. This is due mainly to

such How did a 8-7 BOD "reallocation of unforeseen occurrences, as

two-thirds lost due to the fluids" vote pass, when a unexpected revenue

of majority is required on budget delay from construction opening

issues? profit centres. Dorland said

their This question was raised after Directors were told to "monitor

Affairs Brad VP: University Ross was expenditures more closely" prior to

National vote to allowed to go to The the reallocate funds.

Conference On Student Services in 'Hie conference cost about $600;

however, had Washington D.C. November 18-21. Ross enough money

Ross went to the conference even left in his own budget to cover part

to though a motion which would real- of the cost. He wanted reallocate

locate Students' Union funds clearly $200 from Scott McCoi-micks bud-

failed in a vote at last week's Board get to cover the rest. meeting. The vote, taken on Ross said the $200 reallocation HENSEL

November 16, resulted in a count of of funds to help finance the trip was

Ross'. "investment the future" and 9-7. One of those votes was an in MARION allowed to can't forward unless The vote was pass added, "you go

do because BOD chairman Russ Qarke you things differently." failed to recognize this specific vote The Washington conference is PICTURE:

two-thirds The considered Ross as "the confer- required a majority. by

failed call North Brad Ross went to a conference in this week in of a vote on his Board as a whole also to ence to go to in America" to Washington spite disputed funding.

the chairman on the mistake. The gather information on student ser-

from who on who "It is to take a effort obtained the UVV delegate mistake was not recognized until vices. Ross stated, "I voted behalf Stewart Wong, a Director going group

of what shouldn't make the is in also the conference. after the meeting had adjourned. I felt was in the best interest voted no, said, "[Ross] to sure corporation was attending

Chairman made he He also said that it "was it The issue became even more of the students." have gone, the an good shape," added. lucky

that "it said that it was discussed wasn't a lot of involved, complex when Bruce Dorland, Ross's department of University error" and went on to say Wong money"

chairman of the Finance and Affairs is the only department in sets a bad precedent for reallocating during the meeting that second- since the BOD is responsible for a

Building committee, confirmed YVLUSU that Is under budget. funds." hand information could have been $3.8 million operating budget.

BU 155 on the chopping block

DYSIEVICK students have had to here to learn Shawn 3rd business students who feel need to learn LORI year exposure computer skills; they Harvey, a year they

Cord News offices and the the business don't the relevance of student. "Half the class is bored, software skills the to do way see learning opportunity

while the other half is lost." The onus would be on indi- On December 11th, the Senate of community uses computer systems. about information systems." so. put

frustrated vidual first students to learn the Wilfrid Laurier University School "The practical aspect of the Harris agreed that students have Students were also year

of and commented been for time because did the rele- the about the information Business Economics (SBE) course was helpful," complaining a long they not see systems and software skills will need for will decide whether to continue Scott Stinson, a fourth-year business about BU 155. "Part of the problem vance of the programs. they

don't the 2nd and 3rd courses. offering Business 155: Data student. "But the theory was use- might have been the description in "Students see use in the year trek and Information less." the she said. "The about a can Business students used to Processing course calendar," learning system they

Cancellation of the function of the because to Waterloo to take computer Systems. course "We are not teaching how to use course was to bring use to design payroll they over has been the said students of have learned about courses that were not already approved by software," one teaching assis- different backgrounds not yet anything programming

Board for SBE. tant. "The took infor- the level." As Harris offered at WLU. Faculty course on an up to same a result, payroll," explained.

BU 155 is the only mandatory mation system focus and discusses students who already had good Therefore, teaching the skills in a In 1986, WLU's current Assistant

for information and informa- skills often fourth information Dean of Ron and computer course business stu- systems computer were disap- year systems Business, Craig,

Frank Anatol created BU 155 to dents until fourth year. Many people tion technology issues." pointed. course seemed to make more sense.

worried that business students If the decision to BU 155 offer first business students an are "There have been many student "Some students have a lot of cancel year and software won't have adequate knowledge complaints [about BU 155]," Anatol experience with computers and is passed by the Senate, however, information systems about intends to offer skills course. the computer programs they admitted. "Students feel thev are some of them don't have any," said the administration will need to use during the four

of if the Senate years university can- cels the course.

"Students will go into a 4th year

information with- technology course Culture Shock out any previous information tech-

nology exposure," commented one

BU 155 teaching assistant, who

asked to remain anonymous.

is increased and the The this like "There an focus on ERIC HENRY athletes. people in game in class may seem a

information infor- technology and Cord News Commentary department are not to aiming for breeze, but phys. ed. students have

mation in the Before fieldwork NFL commentators. to back their and systems workplace, so doing my among careers as up predictions

why are we cutting back on infor- the students of Physical Education, 1 Instead, they study the theoretical conclusions with solid reasoning. mation could about and the sci- technology courses?" expected to find themin the Athletic aspects of coaching. Fewer varsity athletes are in coaching

Last BU 155 A deal of time is out- ed. than would behind the It's to summer, was Complex, on the gym floor, in the great spent phys. one expect. ence sport. scary

revised result recommenda- dumb is think that old as a of pool or pumping iron in the weight side of class on activities the rest of The jock stereotype dis- your grizzled high

tions made in routine to believe don't have the students ed. teacher a examination room. Contrary these presump- us we time for. pelled by actual pre- school phys. probably of SBE curriculum. tions, I found them in the library. Coaching in the community and the sent. wouldhave been lost on how to deal

Ruth The According to Harris, No, they weren't playing rac- practical application of what is Nutrition and fitness are empha- with a sports injury. phys. ed. Assistant of the and Professor SBE, rec- - muscles quetball among the stacks they learned is stressed. Most of it is vol- sized over bulging program is turning out a generation

ommendation of the review in ed. coaches, trainers and team were attending a class on sports unteering, which looks good on a thick skulls. Being phys. of smarter

was to make senior As I but hard the cash flow. of You to the a computing injuries. recall, actually doing resume is on means taking care your body. sports administrators replace

course (BU there. 415) required, and to work in high school physical educa- AD of this, I'm told, begins about have toeat healthy even when chips uneducated health gurus out

eliminate BU 155. tion meant the health third and out because merely odd year, with a sudden onslaught beer are easier (albeit more Watch Tony Little,

Frank who class. But to that Anatol, has taught phys. ed. students at of time commitments and work. As expensive) prepare. Not the they're after you.

the for 10 revised the Laurier be diet dominat- ed. students to deal course years, have to concerned with well, quarter credit courses have ofphys. ed. students is Phys. have

course over the to all of the with the "one one" in summer give theory behindathletics. the work of a one year course con- ed by carrot sticks or anything, but on aspect

morefocus to information The science into I attention to what (heir trade. The student is systems. ofsports begins with densed a few months. And they do pay they learning

I would like to Extensive instruction in I I think bell but "Ideally, see the the body. thought that was always busy! are eating. that a Second Cup evaluated, not by a curve,

course offered in second third is in succeed the or anatomy required, and quite hon- For everyone who thinks people the A.C. would fail miserably as by how they against

year or to have smaller classes," couldn't of ed. for would of the real world. estly, I keep track the go into phys. an excuse to most phys. ed. students challenges They Anatol said, that coffee. themselves to commenting many various carpels and knee joints that play football every day, the class- choose skim milk over are struggling against students do their not see the relevance of were reviewed. The focus in phys. room is where much of their time is The goals of the students I talked improve performance and the course in first year. Few first- ed. seems to be on both athletics spent. Analyzing the Vanier Cup to were to learn as much as they their knowledge.

theCord November29,l99s 3 (News) The trials and

tribulations of OSAP

KATIE PALMER Loans Under the Program. new sys- Canadian Federation of Students dents like students. 'I hey're treating

News Cord tem, the Federal Government would (CFS) cites the case of Stewart them like bad investors," said

Students are that mix- the 5% the discovering pay banks of loans up Weinstein. Weinstein is an MBA Heather Bishop of CFS. "We get i

over OSAP can give them bad front, and in return would not take from the three calls week ups graduate University of approximately a j

credit ratings. The new loan system responsibility for the collection of Windsor. He claims that in the shuf- from students who need advice J

has banks, and not the government, these loans. fle, the Toronto Dominion Bank mis- with their loans." I

the - The banks were entided to his and also at controlling repayment process opt placed papers, as a result, Julie Simmons suffered m

and the banks aren't as for- out of this As Weinstein missed his always new system. a result, payments. He the hands of OSAP. She had been J| the loans then transferred has bad fee giving as government. many were now a credit rating, and will paying a monthly that was M

Last Chartered to other banks, in be from July, nationally resulting mix-ups likely ineligible to receive person- deducted automatically her |§|

Banks were the of and loans. given option par- misunderstandings. al bank account. When the new |_j ticipating in the Canada Student A media advisory put out by the "The banks aren't treating stu- changes occurred, CIBC sent her if

a letter stating that her payments Line of Credit," a

were on hold due to the backup of under which they administer the

paperwork on current and new loans themselves up to the amount

loans. Simmons waited to hear from of $5,000. The interest on this loan

them. the In meantime, no money is offered at 1% above prime, and is

taken her collected from was from account. The monthly the account.

next correspondence she received This may be an alternative for some,

from CIBC was a letter stating that but students often need more to pay

her for payments were delinquent and their education. Considering that

bank of education the wanted all the missed a university can cost up to

the Bank of payments at once. $10,000 a year,

"It's not that I didn't have the Montreal loan not may go far.

money," she said. "It's that I was Under the new system, six

under the assumption that they months after a student graduates,

would take from account the bank will start to collect student it my

when it was needed. Suddenly I had OSAP loans whether the student has

to amount all at once." obtained not. pay a large employment or

She also worries ill this CFS advises students to make at error may

affect her ability to be granted sure they fully understand their

future loans house. when LAM SELECTIONSW for a car or a responsibilities applying for a The Bank of Montreal chose to loan. "Take much as time as you £fSPu KING ST. N WAT* 884-7376 opt out of the Canada Student Loans need to go over documents and ask v Program. Instead, they initiated questions," Bishop advised. "Don't (BETWEEN HARVEY'S AND BURGER KING) their own system called "Student be pushed out the door." STANLEY PARK MALL 748-0912

Don't know what I

BillAllLvArl Him I How about a

the I Sum of

for or

I Manager's Signature Expires April 30, 1995

4 November 29, 1995 theCord -(News) Bag o' crime legality .Advice from Legal Re^m^

enforce and this does. If student has include thefts of such and JASON BILODEAU AND is to the law some- WRP a a prior handles personal as personal injury occur,

then with and certain wooden chairs, also the of STEVEN HUNWICKS times means charging an offender, record, a run-in Security property are responsibility

often deal with would reveal it. The of mischief such to You can see that Cord News warnings are used to probably type as causing damage Security. Security's

the If the not shared includes war- violations, and role of WLU, its students, This column follows exploits of situations. warnings are information gate-arms, liquor protecting

Landlord, heeded, then will have to rants for arrest and fines. intoxication in a public place. and staff involves far more than Terry Tenant and Larry Security unpaid

the VVLU student Common incidents that serious cases tickets. and is intended to answer common step up pressure. A Security Infrequently, more issuing parking

rele- 'break' and be referred to questions on legal issues of may get a WLU. The the DAC, the Dean's vance to students at Advisory

no intended Council, which kind of advice given is in way acts as a

legal court for students. But as a substitute for professional system ques-

advice. tionable actions of a serious nature,

After a little three-week "vaca- or involving a non-WLU individual,

favourite column is back! usually give Security little option but tion," your to At the end of the last article, we arrest the person.

about laid promised we'd talk a bit spe- Charges are commonly

cific issues that WLU Security has to under the Trespass to Property Act

basis. So WLU deal with on a regular for remaining on campus after

do start? being told to leave, or under the mis- where we Terry suggests Residence last week's Bag o' Crime, which has chief sections of the Criminal Code.

of to fines and criminal a veritable smorgasbord things Hefty reprimands result. talk about. may

we're the Theft Under $1000: This year, it Assault: Now into big-

stuff. seems more students are becoming time Assault, while fortunately

not incident familiar with this expression. a frequent on campus,

treated with Accommodation Incidents of (lie theft of items such is not warnings. Where

and the harm life is as jackets, wallets, purses, bodily or threatened,

takes the off. Assault like are increasing on campus. Security gloves

unattend- is Criminal Code which Often, the goods were left a offense can

ed in public places (such as the lead to a fine or imprisonment, and

criminal record conviction. - to Library) an open invitation a upon ■HffffWßElil Available The that break thieves. Unfortunately, there are minor disputes out in

beer doesn't usually no suspects, and Security the Turret over a spilt

to can do little more than record the typically lead an assault charge,

incident. but deliberately causing injury to

(Well, actually, they can do a little someone leads to more severe con-

advise more, and that is people not sequences. A limited number of are In the last to leave any personal belongings Warrants: article, we spaces

unattended. As Deep Throatwarned cliscusscd the role of Security as a

function, often while he was spitting up blood on policing acting on available in traditional residence behalf of Waterloo Police Agent Scully, "trust no one.") Regional

and Causing a Disturbance (WRP) on campus. This relationship Trespass: Fans of "Bag 0' Crime" means that Security has access to & Bricker will the about that apartment style. know that while Security's role same information you

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theCord November 29, 1995 5 Santa sells out

Be it resolved Christmas these is about days just money

CONOR MCCREERY if I see Santa's Likeness one more November. September, just a month at the end pactor. Cord news Commentary time, I'll take an an It used be that Christinas dec- of the when Christmas AK-47, itchy to year means When December first rolls

it - That's find me an elf! Yeah, one finger, and medieval in a orations were saved until the latter trigger go something special. around, by all means, cram of those hatted bastards. I'm Kmail. half of November, which I could live You it's not the Christmas pointy see, just commer- down my throat. take him and his gonna snap spine My friend Deanna says, "Have a with. Now I'm picking some hot cialism that bothers it's the fact However, I'm up me; warning you don't try

over knee. On Donner, on heart, it's the Christmas season for for a labour weekend my dogs day BBQ that by moving Christmas forward a it in November. I'm not going to be Blitzen, Comet, into on right on the goodness sake!" Wrong! You see, and I have to a month, one so sick and I'm not to fight my way past every gets merry, going be jolly, what

meat - 'cause I'm veni- Christmas isn't until Dec. 25th freak in a tired I factory having candy-cane costume. of the whole thing. mean by I am going to be is bitter. Christmas

son for dinner. there is in there about Nov. How times the time It's has nothing many have you heard a Wonderful Life is supposed to be a special time, not

Don't me 1 love 18th (The date of it get wrong; this year's KAV someone complain about how each come on for the 31st time, Isn't. a time of fake sentiments and

Christmas. For a month we Santa Gaus parade). This Ls some- it seems Xmas starts in Christmas go year How can we really enjoy Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. I around and treat each other like the retail October? If stand united if we've been it for thing sector seems to have we as one living two can't really enjoy Christmas until it human load actual beings. We up on missed in their scrambling pursuit group we can beat Christmas back months? The holiday season is is Chj-istmas, and I don'tunderstand

food, (i.e. and we of the dollar. I am sick into December, where it No stressful at the best of and how else mistake good egg-nog) get almighty just belongs. times, anyone can high

to time with who mat- and tired of about of spend people hearing more Santa Claus parades in July, two months it is enough to crush pressure sales tactics and a media

us. said Christmas in the middle of Christmas like trash ter to However, having that. no more specials in anyone an egg in a com- landslide as the real tiling.

CONNIE and culture. and about HAWKINS viciually as a gifts making people I care Cord news Commentary Take the Charlie Brown cartoon happy. The fact that the decorations O'Crime When if Christmas' Didn't know earlier that I considering as an example. you are going up mean get Bag

over-commerciality is a truly nega- exactly what I was talking about the wonderful feeling that much

tive thing, an image I consider is when I mentioned the cartoon? longer. If only people could get the

in Snoopy's dog house "Merry Didn't it bring back great memories Christmas spririt and care about

Christmas Charlie Brown." of Christmases others the Noise gone by? Even my as long as marketing Complaint is under investigation.

Remember how Snoopy's over- mother remembers this cartoon campaigns last. 0205 hrs Mon 20 Nov 95

decoration of his house from her with The of Christmas has A dog causes childhood, along sev- over-selling Conrad resident complained about Trespass

Charlie Brown to lament how eral other hauled out made Christmas to com- jems every the holidays more loud music in lot #3 adjacent 2255 hrsTue 21 Nov 95

mercial has become? around this time than Christian celebration - it An Christmas year (did anyone just a Willison Field. officer attended A non-WLU male was charged with

Now that have that childhood else catch last week? I has cultur- and the music you "Rudolph" brought us together as a requested stop. All trespassing after he was found in

In in memory firmly in place, try and thought so!). an age where elec- al entity Canada. One thing that involved, complied. one of the computer labs. This indi-

remember a little further along in tronic media is increasingly isolating Canada prides itself on is its reli- vidual had been previously warned.

the show when the entire Peanuts people, the Christmas TV specials gious diversity, and the strength that Mischief

to cheer Charlie bond. Christmas has hrs 95 Mischief gang comes up give people a common diversity brings. 1615 Mon 20 Nov fixture bus Brown. To fix up the pitiful tree that It does seem that the Christmas become such a in our cul- An unknown individual removed one 2320 Wed 22 Nov 95

Charlie all take the decorations earlier all have WIU bought, they go up every year. ture, we something in com- of the parking signs at St Michael's While on patrol, a officer found

I this time of excess trimmings from Snoopy's actually saw some in August. I mon during year. Church lot. that person(s) unknown had set Fire

house and make the tree beautiful. must admit that my first impulse is Christmas has become an idea for to an advertisement on the wall of

for is the for cultural and That, me, a positive way to to get angry at store trying to everyone, bridging reli- Theft Under $5000 the stairwell in the Peters Building.

look how Christmas cash the differences. at is now mar- in on holiday spirit. gious 2315 hrs Man 20 Nov 95 The fire was already out and left a

keted You look at Then started to how Christmas so vigorously. can I consider Although is very com- The security department received a small scorch mark on the wall. The

the of Christmas it feels to find that all learn the food matter under selling as being good a gift you mercial, we can from report ofthe theft of some and a is investigation.

know will make Peanuts and small of from manipulated by big business, or you someone really gang turn a conse- amount money a stu- the can take this overkill and look at the happy. I feel really good about being quence of our capitalistic culture dent studying in a classroom in Suspicious Person. effects has hrsThu positive it had on us indi- able to start planning my Christmas into sharing and caring. Peters Building. The victim left her 0340 23 Nov 95

belongings unattended for a short Two residents erf* Conrad Hall report- indi- period of time when the theft ed seeing a suspicious-looking

occurred. A suspect was apprehend- vidual loitering in the area of the

inves- ed in a classroom close by. Conrad Hall Quad, After some

tigation & because of the freshly fall-

Personating Peace Officer en snow, footprints were followed to

0240 hrs Tue 21 Nov 95 an off campus apartment. Ihe mat-

The parents of a YVLU student ter is still under investigation.

received a call from a male identify-

ing himself as a police officer. The Dangerous Driving

culprit told the parents that their son 0155 hrs Sat 25 Nov 95

been arrested for A in lot #7 had trafficking in vehicle was pulled over

drugs. On checking the whereabout because of erratic driving. 'Ihe driver

of the student in question he was was cautioned & warned about his

found asleep in his room. The matter driving habits.

WLUSP Director resigns

SCOTT STINSON for his resignation, and a committ-

Cord News mentto schoolwork.

WLUSP Garman's spot on the

via election Earlier this month. Director Harvey BOD will not be filled or

Garman of the WLU Student appointment. five Publications Board of Directors ten- Instead, the remaining

divided the duties dered his resignation, effective Directors have up immediately. ofthe vacated Director position.

Garman cited personal reasons II ft" a u r \\\ i I I 1 AT THSTURRET! 888-0411 I I I(ITS YOUR LAST CHANCC

* * * * eyeglasses contact lenses repairs sunglasses

Ask about our student package pricing

OH fashion eyewear

— *dONI MISS ROAD ftPPLK W&>., NOV, 29* Z55 King St. (at University) WATERLOO

6 November 29, 1995 theCord OPINION

the Editorial

cord Proposed Code a product of shifty dealings

First things first. I'm not about to rail at length about November 16th. The real ugly part is that the Code will

for final the WLU administration's proposed Code of Conduct. go before the Board of Governors approval on

The Students' Union is frantically decrying it every the sth of December.

I'll let them So what does all this mean? the administra- chance they get (see page 2) so worry about Clearly,

tion inch their the awareness campaign. never planned to budge an regarding

here has to do with whether Fine. should have said No, my point nothing or jurisdiction off-campus. They

that months when the not the proposed Code is fair, legal, or ethical. It does, two ago "negotiation" process

the which Then WLUSU could their however, have everything to do with way in began. have explored legal A Laurier StudentPublication Wilfrid University Code the that time. the administration has presented the new to options at

short for the Students' Union. If the students of this University. Now, time is very 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 to To be blunt, have them. Code is passed by the Board of Governors, it'll go (519) 884-0710 ext. 3564 they completely ignored of Fax: (519) 884-7723 Shortly after the Ezra Street Party last spring, the print in the 1996/97 Undergraduate Calendar. End

Advertising: (519) 0710 ext. 3566 administration began disciplinary proceedings against story.

Administration: (519) 0710ext. 3558 WLUSU will still be able those Laurier students who were arrested or charged Sure, to pursue legal action,

by the police in connection with the events of April but the Code will be there in black and white. It's much "...freedom of belief, and thought, opinion, expres- 22nd. harder to change something that already officially exists freedom of the and other media sion, including press Almost immediately, The Students' Union and their thanit is to change a proposal.

Union lost valu- of communication..." lawyers publicly condemned those proceedings as The fact remains that the Students'

— Canadian Charter of and Freedoms undemocratic. After the handed able and valuable student in a Rights punishments were time, money, bogus

down, the Union discussed the possibility of challenging negotiation with an administration that never intended

the decisons in court. to concede anything. WLU President Dr. Marsden said it Editorial Board the Union decided against court action herself in last week's Cord, noting that "we haven't Editor-in-Chief Scott Stinson Eventually, pending negotiations between their lawyers and those changed the code," and that "there's absolutely nothing News Editor Kathy Cawsey of the administration. The of the negotiations new in it at all." Associate News Editor Tom Hrubes purpose

I'll the administration this - off was to settle on a clearly defined Code of Conduct, one give they've pulled a Entertainment Editor Melanie Seal that both sides would find reasonable. Seemed like the smooth piece of poilitics by buying time until December Assistant Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter smart idea at the time. with two months ofuseless negotiations. Sports Editor Pete Robinson Sadly, the Union made the crucial mistake of believ- Andby pulling a fast one on the Students' Union, the Assistant Sports Editor Libbi Hood ing the negotiations would be carried out in good faith. elected representatives of the students, they've turned a Features Editor David Popovich their deaf student here. Instead, the administration wrote own proposed ear to Production Manager Jeremy Kerr every than that. Code, releasing it to the attorneys afterward, on I thought they were better

CordStaff Editorial by Scott Stinson, Editor-in-Chief Production Assistants Barnard Megan in The opinions expressed this editorial are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of the CordStaff, the edito-

CoUeen Nicholson rial board or WilfridLaurier University StudentPublications. Tina Tam

Classified Coordinator Christine Romeo

Circulation and Filing Tony Tsai number of basic human rights. The simple fact that Copy Editors Ameena Ahsan such legislation was drafted without prior Student- Natalie Haines any

Administration negotiation and ratification is alone a International Coordinator Lilian Schaer

need for concern.

As YVLUSU 1 Student Publications Staff a student representative on the BOD,

am writing this letter to voice the collective views of Photo Manager Marion Hensel Laurier students regarding the University Photo Technicians Phill Kinzinger LettersTo the Editor Administration's lack of for student Steve Williams recognition concerns not only pertaining to the proposed Student Code of Jenny Wong Conduct but also for a number of other issues in Art Director Andrew White my

four at Laurier such as the premature move Systems Administrator Neil Weber past years Feeling unappreciated of the Business Office, Registrar's Office and Student Public Relations Manager Carla D Annibale Awards to 202 Regina, the prices in the Food Court and Advertising Manager Tracey Bowers Dear Editor, the Administration's to the Ezra Street inci- Ad Sales Representative Rob Hornick response served and with Foot I dent. Owen Roszell After having a year a half Patrol the decided to retire from services as of last week. 1 I have tried to remain impartial to Erin Taylor my to students involved in decided to only work the first semester of this year due Administration's punishments Ad Production Manager Dave Kerth however the fails is Ad Production Assistants Danielle Chartrand to my involvement with Laurier Live and of course my Ezra, a point University to recognize

school work. retire- that students mature adults who will assume Shannon Douds However, to my surprise, upon my are young

mentI was informed of Foot Patrol responsibility for their actions under the Criminal Code Treasurer Jamie Hill by the coordinator the and that I would no longer be invited to a volunteer appreci- of Canada without University's interference

hosted infliction The proposed Code Board of Directors ation evening by WLUSU, on the fifth of of additional punishment.

December. of Conduct broad for an Administration President Susan Barry appears very initial reaction was one of indifference: I was a that relies on its students to keep its business running Directors Karen Bula My that lack the volunteer with Radio Laurier, so I would be attending It simply shows of trust Steve Groenveld David Janzen effectively. and the level of sub- the evening's events As the week progressed, University has for its students very Laurie Legault Shayne Lidkea anyway. the implications of what was said infuriated me. After ordination students are at under an Administration that

The the hours that I volunteered this semester in to be domineering, authoritative and more con- Cord will that is racist, sexist, or staff many long appears not print anything homophobic in nature, as deemed by the as a voting body. The Cord will not anything in violation of its' Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution.Cord told cerned with than fairness. the print the rain, in the snow and in the cold, I was being positive press Impressing rates $15.00 subscription are per term for addresses within Canada, and $18.00 for outside the country. The Cord is that 1 wasn't be hold a for the CanWeb The Cord is a member of Canadian Press. All is the going to appreciated. public seems to higher priority University printed by Printing. University commentary strictly the writer and not opinion of does necessarily reflect those of the Cora staff, the editorial board, or WLU When I contacted Darryl McKenzie of student ser- Administration than impressing its clientele: the stu- Publications. Copyright © 1994 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario N2L vices I was simply told that the reason why I couldn't be dents.

Foot I That's appreciated by Patrol was because quit. Enforcing such a prejudicial and discriminatory Contributors:. Ann-Marie Smith, Sabrina Saccoccio, Llonella Gilbert, Eric Henry, absurd! In the business of life, students Code of Conduct allows the Administration the authority Katherine Harding, Brandon Watson, Sean Moore, Conor McCreery, Simon Isbister, university many Mike Vencel, Joel "Santa' Jeff "Elf' Scott don't bother the volunteer their immature school Cheryl Spcncer, Lynn, Anderson, Cullen, finding time to time at to treat students as high teenagers Jim Donnelly, Celeste Burkitt, Kelly Westlake, Scott McKay, Connie Hawkins, Steve face the all. Whether a student volunteers one hour or 50 hours who will detention, essay writing, strap, a call Hunwicks, Jason Bilodeau, Lori Dysievick, Jason Kalra, Karrie Whitmore, Jamie for disobedience. of their time, they should be appreciated. And so I home, or suspension as punishment Hill, Greg Chownyk, small facist regimes. would like to ask the Students' Union, and the people WLU students deserve to be treated better than such.

who claim to appreciate their volunteers to re-evaluate Criminal Codes offer sufficient punishment as well as

their and is Letters definitions of "volunteer" "appreciation". the Dean's Advisory Council. There simply no need for Policy the President to hold over students. Lynn Barry disciplinary power

• All letters must be signed and submitted with Hie author's name,student What happens off-campus at non-University sanctioned identification number and telephone number. events should be placed in the hands of the police. • AH letters will be with die author's name. Letters can be Code too The bad Laurier received because of the Ezra printed printed arbitrary press without the author's ofthe Street incident the Administration nameonly by permission Fditor-in-Chief. was unjustified and

• Letters must be received at for Dear have Laurier by Tuesday noon publication in that Editor, should recognized that. was not the only week's issue in e-mail [email protected] print, on disk, orvia to: As a student of WLU who has never acted to the detri- school present at the incident and the University should

• letters that ment the of the that does not are submitted on disk or via e-mail must be accompanied by of reputation the University, I am writing to have attempted to tell press blame and

a signed hard to rest the shoulders of Laurier students. copy. you express my concerns regarding the new pro- should solely on

• Letters must be double and exceed 500 words. within such close typed, spaced, cannot posed Student Code of Conduct. At first glance it Because the incident occurred prox-

• The Cord reserves the to edit and will to be number who to WLU students and WLU students right any letter. Spelling grammar appears a of things but fair. As one imity Laurier, only

not be corrected. both tries to see sides of the story, I find it hard not to were found guilty by association as deemed so by the

• The Cord the letter in whole in that the and the reserves right to reject any or part, is support Students' Union's efforts. The new Student local police, press even University in violation of existing Cord policies. Code of Conduct is arbitrarily offensive to students at Administration.

WLU, insulting and most importantly in violation of a Continued on page 8

theCord November 29,1995 7 (Opinion}

Letters to the editor

Continued from page 7

Editorial on BOD cannot the Board's I think I for the simply judge debate, speak rest of guitar slinger extraordinaire for the Students of Laurier are not irra- actions at meetings. Alot is the Board in that the only saying $35,000 Fab T-Birds, wringing each and tional animals who need to be outside accomplished of decrease in bottom line is note out of his one-sided meetings surplus every Strat with true restricted codes, rules and by regu- that and other students do not that most you something was likely physical effort, bring the crowd lations. The Administration's work- Dear Editor, Joel see. anticipated. clearly outlined deeper and deeper into the show ing relationship with the Students' In to editorial "Your Second, response your although some Directors legitimate reasons as to this with lick. why fig- every well-placed And on Union does not seem to have been Now WLUSU BOD: are not office hours such Controversy- attending or ure is as (the biggest one being the right, we have Colin "where's used in the effectively now nor past. Free", I feel that honestly make meetings (and probably for legiti- the office foul with you Registrar's up my pick" Linden. Strumming the

It is now time for the to valid University some points. However, as a mate reasons) there are numbers of how many projected many same four boring chords all night, do with and face stu- Director away lawyers new on the WLUSU BOD I who do. There students will be Laurier he (including myself) attending managed to bore not just me, but dents and their concerns in an open would like to clarify some of the are Directors who this The Board is of are contributing fall). fully aware everyone in attendance. Well done forum. The Administration must invalid make. time students points you their to and they Joel's competence and debating the sir. You're really good.

negotiate a new less offensive First, although I lack the should be As for decrease would be futile the may acknowledged. given On the left, we have Kim Wilson. Student Code of Conduct with these experience, past two months those who do not send a clear for it. However, the bottom you reasons Blues-harp crown prince, singer of YVLUSU and YVLUGSA and show the have been a real for me. to them to off their line is that the eye opener message get $35,000 is gone and wide repute, front man of the

University community that it is not I have time butts. As spent my being elected representatives for unforeseen, unbudgeted rea- Fabulous Thunderbirds since Stevie

as authoritarian as it now informed as to what issues will be have No said had appears. they do a duty to serve office sons. one a to was budget Ray Vaughn a skinny little kid For of the of the good reputation debated and voted on. Much of this horn's. are an excellent The fact that They oppor- be on target. is the looking for gigs in Austin. Every note YVLU and its alumni and the dignity information is acquired outside of to be in students' faces and Board must deal with it he hit tunity now as a was right on the mark, be it of WLU students, it is the most board Thus meetings. questions get involved within the Union. You'd and on Joel's advice for my group rely harped or sung. He too brought the humanistic option to resolve a con- are minimal be how much learn albeit during meetings surprised you guidance, mean cutbacks and audience to a frenzied, dancing, flict that has been blown because have been clarified extremely they outside of office not too meetings during rebudgeting. singing peak; easy to do I out of before when are for- hours. the proportion. meetings they Fourth, on meeting that was might add - just ask Colin "I fucking Adrian De Silva BOD. mally presented to the You Third, in terms of sparking held on October 26th (not the 25th), suck" Linden.

the task of reviewing and revising My point is this: The T-Birds

the ÜBES constitution is something have been around a long time,

that could have been done as the easily because, (here comes cliche)

outlined. The task involved their rock and roll will lITRAVELCUrS as you style of never with ÜBES and then debat- and knew meeting grow old, everyone there

ing and clarifying problem clauses exactly that. iTiere were times dur-

(which the the were many). However, ing performance when I sswear

debate alone would have taken it could have been 1959, and the

hours. COD had already decided music sounds as good now as I

that the constitution could not be know it must have sounded back

fixed in time without a directive then. Those grinding suffles and from the BOD especially during a straight-eight rock and roll boogies

time when of COD many us on were are truly timeless, and I am afraid

in the middle ofmidterms. 3rd Floor Revising Colin "oh, so that's how you do it" the constitution seemed futile at that linden just didn't have anything in

time that students had not his arsenal given yet to compare. Your Student Union Building confirmed their support for the con- reporter came to the conclusion that itself. cept "the real treat was Colin Linden."

It is such thatI feel edito- Yeah and resembles Wilfrid Laurier University as your right, my ass a rial is one-sided. tennis shoe. The next send Although your time you

is blues purpose to spark debate and light someone to review a show,

under it be send fires people s butts, must someone knowledgeable, or at

understood the 1995/96 BOD is least 886-8228 that orthologically impotent, so we

doing a fine job given its inexperi- won't have to read this kind of igno-

However this Ahhh. ence. one thing year's rant reporting again. You

BOD can be proud of is their team know, 1 feel much better.

spirit which is less than past boards Ted Bezner

can take pride in. GO TEAM!!!

Adrian De Silva

WLUSU BOD A I WHOLESALERS I 1995/96 message from the T-Birds better past

Dear Editor,

than Linden So, it has been a whole semester

at the and what have you people up

Dear Editor, Cord been doing?

I felt compelled to write after I saw A great job.

and the entertainment column regard- The paper reads really well,

ing the Fabulous Thunderbirds despite the smaller size, you seem to

show at Lulu's last be to out Roadhouse maximizing your space put

Saturday. I must take issue with the a lot of solid issues. (And of course,

statement made by P.M. Kinzinger those awesome football photos...!)

shoes - that "1 need to discuss the evening in And Stirison, as for those

reverse order, because frankly, the a snug fit for sure. We' 11 better than the Nielsen 112 opening acts were Ingrid

x Sharon White • Gemologist headliner." Hello. Let me knock on ~ T n

Incredible at skull to make is Savings your sure someone this Hawk taking up residence in appar- Where was

vacant ently space. Somehow, Colin "Now what could I play that would o' the Week?

be incredibly boring?" Linden was

elevated to a musical status superior Dear Editor,

to the Fabulous Thunderbirds by In Celeste Burkitt's article, "Women author she that your (apparently of works of fall to U of T", mentioned

fiction) while I was absent. Can this Charmaine Boteju's performance

be? had earned her "Hawk of the Week"

let I have been Firstly, me go on record say- honours. For as long as

ing that Mel Brown is conceivably reading the Cord there has been a

column. Last the most talented musician we are Hawk of the Week

currently privileged to honourin our week, no column. I had the good

ofT fair city, and therefore should be left fortune to attend the Laurier-U

with the 1 800-363-GEMS out of the discussion at hand. Now game and I have to agree that that's out of the let's Cord's choice. stood her way, com- "Roily" on

in the pare Colin and the T-Birds. head to stop pucks one of Brantford 214 Brant 751-3365 On the left of net- Avenue, we have King Ramos, most sensational displays

A 9 Continued on page

8 November29, 1995 theCord (Opinion)

More letters.-

Continued from page 8 remind of, is that have to The cucumber you you minding I've seen in a long time. think of how you are going to get

at With that said, where's Roily's pic- home before you go out. Here uni-

walk the ture and bio? versity we mostly to place

Mark Schmid that we are going, or we take a cab.

The reason for this of course is that

usually everything is a short dis- conspiracy Bacchus' fes- tance, and most of us donit have

cars. When we get home, most of us

worldwide sales the when it was access a most of KELLY WESTLAKE are tomato plum- Soviets, CIA; really tive wishes do have to car, and Cord Opinion while cucumber sales are the Cucumber People! You us have farther to go. As a result, meting, have must think ahead to I is that there is a see, the Cucumber People you and I So, anyway, was cutting up some soaring? My theory

for salad the other to the tomato from been fighting for a Dear Editor, ensure that we donit drink and tomatoes a day conspiracy keep desperately

drink and to You the its full Scholars, share of the produce mar- With this semester almost up, and drive, or that our friends donit I got thinking. know, reaching potential. greater

make No likes to eat cucumbers. the most and I that I donit want tomatois a versatile food. Have even WLU profs, a big ket. one exams just around corner, drive. know very yes, up

the are about the holi- to faces next ever tried washing hands of this conspiracy. They have However, Cucumber People people are thinking see any missing you your part sell their will be to at and donit with tomato? It works! the tomato an crisis. smart. They product dis- days and how good it get January here Laurier, I a really given identity

of friends Tomatoes also make a lubri- Is the tomato a fruit or a vegetable? as a pickle. Also, they've paid home. I am looking forward to see- want to be missing any my good guised

and those hush to to keep of Mends that I have because I see them a cant. As well, they're good for knows, many people ing some my already only Nobody really money tomato's And the I will be few times holi- at Not that I am who do the answer to this the identity a secret. not seen since summer. a year. Enjoy your throwing people. guard have them to the remember to take violence however; question like it's the they even sponsored polit- going out with either days, and please condoning espe- perplexing yes, the of house of and Mends. when it involves the massacre Caramilk secret. Let's face it, it's a ical assassinations in interests bar, or perhaps a party or care yourself your cially

that I know that I Moffatt of innocent tomatoes. Without inside a riddle wrapped their product. So, the next time you two. One thing Craig mystery up

like there would be in knew the are the of a must remember, and would to BACCHUSLaurier Coordinator tomatoes no an enigma. Kennedy contemplating purchase That's of Bick's, think of what the ketchup, no pasta sauce and no answer. They both did. why jar

Cucumber have and salsa. And let us not forget tomato they killed them. Luckily they never People done,

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theCord November29,l99s 9 FEATURE Stimulation

This week Cord Features takes an arousing

TTTT • T look at the perks on campus and discovers that students

are craving a lot more than a university education.

chocolate chip cookie dough to get Chocolate will always taste great shaped like Garfield. Part of the merits is howit helped the Allies win

chocolate is World Smarties and at that rich tasty chocolate. Perhaps and that one constant in the uni- pleasure in thinking War 11. M&Ms kind chocolate you've chosen the more direct verse means we can always go back about which of we were used by the British and

approach and siphoned off the to chocolate as it will never let us want, and knowing whatever choice Americans respectively to give sol-

chips, hoping in vain that no one will down. Chocolate's versatility is we make, it will be fantastic. diers a quick energy burst. While

notice if the measuring cup is almost important because of how we feel Peanut butter as well as being today we simply ponder over

when eat it. There is that of whether to suck them empty. When we get something we we are so many nutritious, something many very slowly or

HAWKINS shouldn't have, like those chocolate different kinds of chocolate; milk, us had to eat as children and now crunch them very fast, these treats

instrumental Cord Features chips, they taste that much better. dark and semi-sweet. We can be find ourselves returning to when it's were in ensuring our

assured term life is chocolate a stimulant? Chocolate becomes the stimulus to near the end of and we need a of (a little Why ____— way exaggeration

I'm that Caffeine aside, it had a profound defy our parents; perhaps the first cheap meal. What's exciting about never hurt anyone). sure

that? the taste of both of these psychological affect on people for way we do. great can-

butter has made dies also raised various reasons. From the begin- With this liistory of associations Peanut only it morale, although

far because be combined not as much as ning, our parents tell us that choco- for most people, chocolate is often this it can possibly Betty

with chocolate Peanut late is bad. It rots our teeth and you something we eat when we aren't in (Reese's Grable.

fat if eat too much. It's that the best of moods. A B- an Butter or it imitates choco- like Forrest mama told get you on Cups) Gump's

forbidden aspect of chocolate that is essay?- Hershey's chocolate bar. that whatever mood late's most popular forms (Reese's him, "Life is like a box of choco-

know that there took little fel- lates." We not know what sur- perhaps at the core of why it makes Stood up for the third time this we're in we is a Pieces). Even then, it a may

for Chocolate also low named them before will be in the but - to eat we us feel so good to have some defi- week?- Ilaagen Dazs Triple choco- chocolate us. can E.T. prises candy,

I itself to different forms - rest of did. rest assured that the chocolate ance. late chip fudge ice cream (not that lend many the us can

in One of chocolate's little known will make feel I'm sure most people have stolen speak from experience). cake, ice cream or maybe a bar, always us great.

Confessions in chocolate

about addiction until I asked that boast that the air Some it's fat- eration beneficial. my was can even reasonably cheap. say might prove

who believes those However, if decide to try choco- to write an aiticle on the stimulating smells of chocolate. Here, is a per- tening, but in you

if late call. effects of this treat. Does chocolate fect example of a place that mass myths anyway? Logically, you as a habit, give me a

Not stimulated affect me? very much. However, produces this tantalizing substance think about it, the more

I it the calories J when think about how many and the population gets to smell you are, more you

i scrumptious chocolate bars or bag day in and day out. Now, that's the burn! I

the of M&M's got me through writing life! I don't want to give you i

KARRIE I it does stimulate Another is that it's that chocolate is a WHITMORE essays, suppose advantage impression |

The suitable less than alcohol addiction for Cord Features something in me. most expensive or ciga- good everyone.!

and have for that would be of Addictions of kind be My name is Karrie I an term something rettes. Depending, course, any can

of chocolate destructive, but an exercise in mod- addiction. No, it isn't alcohol or what I'd call hypemess. Believe me, whether your source is

I drugs; it's chocolate. like my addic- it's not always a pretty sight.

to the Take for instance room- tion. Nothing can compare my poor taste of chocolate mates at tliis moment. In order M&M's, Smarties, very

I Mirage Bars, Kit Kat's... need I go to write this article thought it on? My friends have tried repeated- would be appropriate to sample Dark secrets

ly to figure out why I like this sub- some chocolate. Now, I'm feeling a

stance so much. Some think it's a bit hyper right now. That's what

1 must does. It that substitute for love. Others say chocolate gives you of usher to mind flashes with images like the caffeine. But, I can't explain rush and I wouldn'ttrade it for any- DAVID POPOVICH and it my dying lips. My

Cord Features nectar and future events. It's this strange phenomena. In fact, I thing. The black meets my sys- past, present much. I take It's taken The fade and the a it down almost too Therefore, can't even remember not liking me through boring page begins to tem with jolt as passes my the another from the goblet relishing chocolate. classes. It's been a comfort when words become a jumble ofletters as chilled throat. Suddenly, with sip

been sad and it's been I fall into of soul is in the taste of this liquid 1 was the kid who ate Count I've a means deeper the chasm of night. force a heavenly gale my magnificent from irradiated which has to me such a Chocula everyday and miraculously of bonding with friends. Nothing The silence overwhelms me while sucked back into my now come

mind drifts As the broken distance, for such a small never got a cavity. Faster was says more when you give your my helplessly away. form; re-animating once great yet moment I recall a of and tell to leave me I sud- focus becomes clearer For a brief always my favourite holiday friend a piece chocolate my spirit begins body. My as price. this life realize that electrified brain with time before I came across because that wiry Easter Bunny left them tilings are going to be okay. denly I am floating my now pulses and wonder how 1 ask whether there above theroom and below 1 can see neurons pumping saving beverage mat tasty choco- Many may over-charged disadvan- lifeless and could have survived. 1 savour my late. This was m arc any my body, vacant-eyed energy across my power-starved

dark libation, for a time wrapping when I discov- || to eating slowly sliding forward. My spirit frame. 1 live! hands The around in its' rich aroma. My ered, much to M chocolate. My begins to evaporate as I fight to hold environment me myself

like the summer firm It's no to a level feel the warmth, the horror of my 11 answer: a no. my earthly composure. good! quickly jumps beyond brace the As I do now watch the am more than a sun as I empty cup. sister who However, there are All I can is as awareness. I figure I * within the I feel I stare downinto that ceramic abyss doesn't appreci- !tagesadvantages shell I once regarded as my body, scene. as though many the last of the ebony this self over those am an intricate of it. 1 here all, I at droplets ate chocolate the way I do, ;o consuming my disintegrates part gaze and the deepest Easter sweet. Take for the books, those scribbled see all. senses are heightened to liquid contemplate that if you freeze a Cadbury example tiny dusty woodsy My far of revelations. Soon the warmth and then it on town of Pennsylvania. and that steaming That a point above mere comprehen- egg, slice it up, put Hershey, pages cup. vessel and I rest it But when it It's almost too late. I can feel sion of surroundings. It is as fades from the toast, it makes for a greatsnack! They are professionals cup! my

to chocolate. molecules into the though body has become a fine- back on the table. enough with cooking in the kitchen comes making They my saturating my of cof- it. that, tiles last ounce of tuned instrument. I Now, that was a great cup with Karrie. profit from Not only Hershey ceiling as I use my ly perceive fee! is one of the few in the world mortal strength to grasp that chalice everything. Seriously, 1 never really thought places

10 November 29, 1995 theCord -(Feature) Touchingpoetry

HILL of of decide of what then what JAMIE impatient. in the heat passion, making long, each us. As long as you to you decide, can I

"The the the better hard live with and the Cord Features longer wait passionate love, collapse into in agreement yourself say? You are acknowledging

and the reward." "Good mounds let into of "The terrible untruthfulness things come to two of heaving, sweating your experiences grow part happiness sex.

roots uncertainty of our age has its those who wait." "Fruit ripens only flesh. 'Hie darkness of the night, the

to the the vine." The world filled with of the cold in the refusal acknowledge on is danger being discovered,

of sex..."(Rilke). So those the virtue of happiness platitudes professing snow melting as they heat up their

are "But white sheets exams and assignments cramp- patience. young people err so only seem to intensify

social life? I can relate. often and so in that the effect. As he caresses her with ing your grievously they

need is to themselves at each other when she What you something ease fling an eager yet a gentle touch, can

to release the love takes the tension, something possession of them..." feel liis heart, his life through her

held with- (Rilke). We in much of bosom. The and the bottled up anxiety captive are so a rhythm rhyme

to fill needs and flow in. You needSTIMULATION! hurry our stimulate seem to like beautiful poetry

be honest. What is that the fruit Now let's a our bodies we pick from the pen of an angel. Now back

could drink 20 before it's much good stimulant? You ripe. How more to thebooks!

You could caf- could it be to I is this it? Is this the ulti- cups of coffee. ingest stimulating save our- ask, selves later? feine pills at great expense to your for Even the anticipa- mate stimulation? For some there is

could on tion of an can budget. You chomp away encounter offer the no comparison. But I dare say that until teeth fall stimulation caffeine gum your required. anticipation usually offers more

is There also out. But nothing more successful are quotations pro- than the realization of a dream.

than an the of the Unless has and at stimulating you fessing advantages pre- it purpose meaning. else. encounter with someone sent: "Carpe Diem", "There is no Sex is not bad. "The bad thing is

The and conse- time like the "He who hes- that most and greatest joy present", people misuse squan-

quently the greatest burst of energy, itates is lost." And indeed, the idea of der this experience and apply it as a

from so encounter of the FIRST KIND is stimulant the tired of their comes knowing someone an at spots of this well, so intimately, that you can gaze out world. Erotic sex has its lives and as a distraction instead of a

into their soul and see who they are. time and place and it can be a lot of rallying toward exalted

fun. the The problem occurs, however, when It's perfect distraction from moments"(Mke). However we feel,

make the mistake the of school. Two naked difficult we biggest possi- pressures sex poses a question in our PICTURE ble in become each lives. a relationship—we bodies, pressed against other How we deal with it is up to RLE Voice Box

The Question: The Boar's Head Dinaer

What of form stimulation would you like find under to your tree this Christmas?

December 4th

Steven Hansen eq*Ur' ®ome®flnB Ist Year Biology Money if HENSEL MARION

AND

Renee Degen 3rd Year Honours Economics POPOVICH One of my Accounting profs sev- ered head DAVID BY: Traditional Holiday Dinner A variety of entertainment

$15.00/ticket [Sl 0.00 can be taken off with meal card)

Tickets are available NOW! Centre Spot - Concourse - Dining Hall Lan Beard Ist Year Honours Music for info, 883-9605 A squirrel phone

theCord November 29, 1995 11 SPORTS

Zmich wins top award

national award. The OUAA win- nominees was in 1991 to one was to SCOTT STINSON trying justify why we

of Laurier's Rich Newbrough. were even ranked in the Cord Sports ner this year was Tom Arnott top ten he While the Wilfrid Laurier Golden York. So, despite not being official- Zmich figures he was given at all," notes. of the team's After Hawks have been unable to ly nominated for the national the nod because an undefeated regular

season and the engrave their name on the Vanier award, the selection committee strong showing despite huge number one rank-

the last named Zmich the winner. losses. "In the for five weeks, it's clear Cup over couple of sea- graduation presea- ing that

in etched the last time the award we were ranked the Zmich and his staif proved sons, they've out quite a Ironically, son, eighth many of conference and it seemed like name for themselves on the hard- went outside the country, every- people wrong.

ware for individual accomplish-

ments. Now-departed quarterback It's Dinos over 'Stangs in a walk Bill Kubas hauled in the CIAU's

MVP award last season, and just

their to last Friday, Head Coach Rick If laurier couldnt win the Vanler, quarter. With the Dinos up 20-7, Calgai-y was ability shut

returner Don down Western RR Sean Zmich was named the CIAU then atleast Western lost it wide receiver/punt Reade.

Blair lined the line Reade had Coach of the Year. The Mustangs were unable to up on in a a huge day against the

was sur- on third and situation. Acadia Axemen in the Atlantic MCKAY Zmich "pleasantly defend their national crown Mustang long prised" when he learned of the Saturday, suffering a 54-24 defeat Blair, the Hec Crighton award Bowl, but he was unable to get hands of the of and the MVP; blew the Dittos SCOTT news last week, noting that it's at the University winner game's rolling against strong the and front seven. Combine nice to get this sort of recognition Calgary Dinosaurs, outside blocking

for Zmich out to 7-0 lead stretched out to block Garrick Reade's ineffectiveness with your accomplishments. After jumping PICTURE: As of stresses that while the award has on a Warren Goldie touchdown Mcßride's punt if that wasn't Calgary's Surry points, and the

he the loose were forced to the his name on it, it goes out to all strike to Tom McConneil, the enough, scooped up Mustangs put

Lauder's Head Football Coach Rick Zmich find ball and trotted 26 in Not the coaches on staff. 'Stangs offence was unable to yards for ball the air. surprisingly,

was honoured as CIAU Coach of the Year the Dinos with Although not unprecedented, its i-hythm until late in the third another Calgary major. came up four last weekend's Vanier festivi- At 27-7 and all the once able during Cup the selection of Zmich was some- quarter. Unfortunately for them, momen- interceptions they were first win ties. He is the ever to of the tum with the it was to the person what unusual. Each four they were down 47-10 by that Dinos, game, key on pass. both the Hec award and the match. The loss marks Western Head Crighton top CIAU conferences gives out a point, set, and coach award. While both had Coach Havlors third loss Coach of the Year award, with the The play of the game came teams an Lairy in

winners nominated for the about ten minutes into the second abundance of talent, the key for five Vanier Cup appoarances.

Men's hockey lose three more

number of JIM DONNELLY strong breakout game, with a

Cord Sports strong rushes.

next the Ottawa Talk about having a rough week. The The Hawks' stop was

men's hockey team, which certainly has tournament, where they played back-to-

this back and had its fair share of rough weeks sea- games on Friday Saturday.

out to Laurier was son, had yet another one dished During Friday's engagement,

them last week in the form of losses to soundly thrashed by a far superior

Kindree Waterloo, Miramac College and Ottawa. Miramac College squad. Dave

In their first unfortunate affair last scored the lone Hawk goal, but unfortu-

it didn't add much Wednesday, the Hawks were simply nately up to as

demolished 8-3 by the rival Waterloo Miramac went on to victory 8-1.

Warriors. The Warriors scored 5 unan- In their game on Saturday against

swered goals in the first and second peri- Ottawa the I lawks fared a little bit better, still the Chris ods before Steve Hand responded for but the end result was same.

Laurier at the midway point of the second Fiore, the second-string goaltender, got

to make it a close 5-1. Waterloo, however, the call and responded quite well, allow-

later and 5 The that made it 6-1 just half a minute ing only goals. problem was

cruise scored 4 Chad would eventually to an easy 8-3 Laurier only by Beaupre,

win despite Laurier goals by Dave Chad Brezynskie, Brian Stevens, and Matt and Kindree and Ken Ruddick. Turek. Put those two scores together

of the result isn't This game barely resembled some very shocking.

the great battles that the neighbouring Coach Wayne Gowing was somewhat

few the horrible results of the schools have waged over the past sea- indifferent to

"I'm not with the sons. It was all Warriors. The Waterloo previous week upset

but we're players controlled the puck for most of the way we played, obviously going Waterloo first two periods, keeping mostof the play to have to play much better to be competi- Hawk netminder Geoff Schriare sprawls in vain at the tail-end of a three-on-none

tive. We've to working hard." the Warrior in the Laurier end. They also played a just got keep breakaway. Plays like this one were common in 8-3 drubbing.

Women win two over Windsor

Lancers in second shone as they regrouped and came squad. CELESTE BURKITT assisting on two others as well. the to remain and Ritna Wallace, The howev- out again in the third period, Katorjt Krog, Cord Sports Other contributors were, Lisa place. game on Sunday, strong In this of seven Venneri all assisted two goals was a different scoring four their goals. The women's varsity hockey team Venneri, Jill Paleczney, Tracy er, story. Jennifer Gsbourne, Joanne all While the of7-1 seem Turek played exceptionally game. hosted two matches against the Loucks, and Heather Warren, score may Amy and Laura Van Nes, die of in well as her totalled four Thomson, Windsor Lancers over the weekend. with assists. to say one thing, type game points goals Pounder contributed single assists. excel- off. The officiat- and two assists in the game. Cheryl The Hawks defeated their oppo- Missi Tofflemire played an many aspects was Hawks all Thomson noted that the this far from rea- Pounder, Massi, and Paleczney nents 6-2 on Saturday and 7-1 on lent game for the Hawks, refusing to ing in game was needs improvement. served 28 min- scored singles. Paleczney's goal was focus some Sunday. let the puck cross the goal line. Both sonable. 'Hie Hawks next in the This will be tested in their to two scored with five seconds left The Hawks went about their teams played a physical game utes in penalties as opposed crucial and deciding game in fourteen min- minutes served Windsor, when head coach Steve match, a business on Saturday playing a resulting penalty by despite game the defending OWIAA Tofflemire to even the win. served each The offici- Windsor's play. The Hawks Thomson pulled against strong game to take utes by team. "dirty" on at the face Guelph Gryphons Wallace seemed this also to break down in die sec- up the number of players champion Stephanie Kay and Wendy ating to be reasonable began 16 of their 28 off. Tills short-handed goal proved Wednesday. filled the net, each with two goals. game. ond period, serving to the Windsor TheHawks a solid minutes in this period alone. its point whining Jennifer Krog and Amy Massi played game penalty off character coach, not to mess with the Laurier with Massi on taking two points However, the Hawks scored a goal a piece, Saturday,

12 November29,l99s theCord {Sports) Sporting temperature readings

been to to and have not the Damon Stoudamire has turned the Cold: Pavel Bure. The Russian SCOTT CULLEN obligated go the Rose collar, given up

Bowl had there their A draft boos into cheers, Rocket has been torn Cord Sports and, they won, fight to save Browns. court day leading grounded by a

will The month of November always would have been no definitive #1 injunction has temporarily prevent- the team with over 18 points and 8 anterior cruciate ligament and

weather. team in football. A ed team Art Modell from assists be lost for the season. Bure's over- seems to bring out strange college playoff owner per game.

needs to be set that the the and Vancouver Grizzlies. reunion with linemate Sometimes it gets really cold, others system up so moving franchise, every Cold: The hyped junior

votes home in Cleveland The cousins Alexander not off to it becomes comparatively warm. year-end are a formality game now brings Raptors' expansion Mogilny was a

has the rather than the final decision slew of banners have been brutal since back-to-back with as he had This column joined on a new hurling great start to begin

with which rules football. insults Modell. the The 13 in 15 but the November spirit its own team college at wins to start season. cur- points games,

hot'n'cold buffet. Hot: Dan Marino. It has been a Cold: The Browns. While the fans rent losing streak has been discour- Canucks will miss Pavel's great

Hot: The Fiesta Bowl. The New record-breaking season for the may be fighting mad, the Browns aging for the Grizzlies, especially in speed and goal scoring when the

with it national He like have The of what the have done. around. Year will bring a Dolphins' quarterback. has look they given up. light Raptors playoffs roll

championship game in NCAA col- established all-time marks in pass- experiment with Eric "Light My" Rookie Bryant "Big Country" Reeves Hot: Scott Bailey. The Bruins

The #1 and and Zeier and has been called from their lege football. ranked ing yardage touchdowns, at quarterback was a flop, a huge disappointment up Bailey

and the #2 he still return to and classified "a Providence team Nebraska Comhuskers possesses the lightning-quick the of Vinny Testaverde is currently as pro- farm a few weeks

destined that has earned him his the has not and he has been A ranked Florida Gators are release rep- job brought any more ject". ago, outstanding.

and of the 2.32 to match up in the Fiesta Bowl, utation as one best quarter- victories. At 4-8, the Browns have Hot Mario Lemieux and Wayne goals against average, and a

backs have made there should be no dispute regard- ever. made their (probable) final season Gretzky. The old guard has regained .922 save percentage

deserves the nation- Cold: The Miami While in Cleveland less than memorable. its the elite him the of Beantown. ing which team Dolphins. place among league's toast Marino continues break Hot: The Toronto Lemieux has Cold: Blaine Lacher. The al championship. to records, Raptors. this season. scored an

The The have fallen to 6-6. the most unbelievable 16 Jinx has hit Lacher Cold: Bowl Alliance. the Dolphins A Perhaps surprising expan- 45 points in only Sophomore

that this national title which to be sion franchise recent while Gretz has 36 than have this only reason season was supposed in memory. games, points more pucks year. His

will occur is that the Michigan the swan for Don Shula, involv- The out of the and a +15 in 24 3.93 and .844 game song Raptors struggled league-best games. goals against average led Tim the bunch close last handed his Wolverines, by ing a possible trip to Super Bowl, gate, losing a of games After disappointing seasons save percentage virtually

313 has become a disaster with the fish A when Mario sat out and to Last season's heroics Biakabutuka's yards rushing, after an opening night victory. year, job Bailey.

upended the previously unbeaten now scrambling for a playoff spot. recent three-game win streak has Wayne "only" scored a point per have been forgotten, much like

it Ohio State Buckeyes. Had the Hot: Browns' fans. The brought new life to the team and the game, is good to see them back Lacher himself in the Bruins' goal-

have Cleveland fans hot under the fans. Rookie of the Year candidate where rotation. Buckeyes won, they would are they belong. tending

Another Hawk MM JB& qualifies "Ctoas the night before Christmas, ( for Olympic trials 3nd all through the bar, people mere drinking,

CHRISTMAS WISH beat in that event 98-92 but fell to Waterloo 128- , JBut pu had pur tar. Ii * TOMFUKE The record-breaking swim 72.

Cord Sports came at the annual TomFuke and Sue Miller led Bora the time comes Laurier swimmer Carolyn ()UA>VOWIAA invitational at the the team with three wins each,

Gilbert broke a meet record in University of Toronto last both Gilbert and Darrin to use pur head, the 100 metre breaststroke by Friday. Nfkolaus added two, and almost half second and She a quali- was the top swimmer Jennifer Parwickx, Jennifer So hand ooer the hep, fied for the 1996 txials with Olympic four event wins, and the Parsons and Laura King won

in both the 100 m breaststroke rest of the contributed each. Other team one event strong ©r pu man end up dead. and 100 m butterfly. excellent mid-season times. swims came from Jeff Blakham,

Gilbert's time of 1:12.55 On Saturday, the women's Laura Deer, Stephanie Taylor,

eclipsed the previous mark of team continued its success by Tom Stelmach and Adam 1:13.01, and easily eclipsed the defeating both Waterloo and Tomlinson. Make the right choice time standard of 1:13.90 Brock by respective scores of On December 2nd, the

required to attend the trials, 110-87 and 113-76. The men's Hawks play host to Brock, the this holiday season, Her re-establishes butterfly time team earned their second victo- last time they are in action

her as the CIAU don't drink and drioc. swimmer to ry of the season, topping Brock before the break for exams. please

fMlsCgSmoaSs Coirdl [RoxsO ° ffiffleSomofiDg Cotrdl [P®®0 ° (MltsOScmoDos SoiKal Kl®dk©5/ [RDOD

Rank Name Pts. Total Last Week 9 BenDurliat 232 10

1 Ben Cornwell 258 1 9 Jason Van Heerden 232 — sponsored bu: 2 Phil Adainson 250 2 11 TevorAllibon 231 8

3 Matt Gillis 248 8 11 Scott Cullen 231 13

4 Chris Campbell 242 11 11 Brad Savage 231 15

4 Rob Manger 242 6 14 Marion Hensel 226 —

4 Dave Miller 242 4 15 llrvojePeric 225 5

7 Shaun Kennedy 236 15 15 Shane Sinyard 225 13 8 Rob Crowley 235 6 15 Chris Smith 225 2

cord Top 15 i 1 fSSfM^r!) McGinnis BUFFALO SABRFS BUS TRIPS ——884-1970*35 M IUKKE M H lauriofs Stvjcient Newspap^

BUFFALO VS. TORONTO FRIDAY JANUARY 5, 1996 lii (Si) \lnJLnzl MT \o\ site 1 vry •• WATERLOO A^V| FrontRow KSol OFFICE: (519) 744-2347 ■tfMH ©FOSTER'S CELL: (519 ) 575-0196 Dial A Bottle XAXI M AUSTRALIA'S FAMOUS BEER A A JLA BkA E-MAIL [email protected]

theCord November29, 1995 13 (Sports) Leafs Talk: Evaluation time

Note to CliffFletcher: Get a solid defensemen or leave the playoffs early

for Matt Martin marks. the JASON PAUL AND a great season for both of the boys. Dmitri is have the short term is give Question Why are ushers the

hitters and he into loudest fans at the Gardens? Who ROB MCGOWAN one of the best in the league and only some ice hope turns Sylvain else

three old. skill Gill fan Lefebvre. thinks that Rick Bowness is to out Cord Sports twenty years No is a lucky get

most of ofthat in Ottawa? Is there a It's been another steady but uneventfulweek favourite or target for boos depending main- Issue 2: Forward lines. It looks like mess worse GM

comfortable on in the than Sexton? for the Leafs. They have been performing on ly on whether he's dropping the gloves or the boys are starting to get league Randy Why don't

but we see Rod Smith more on a consistent basis and they are competing coughing up the puck. set lines. Gilmour still hasn't impressed Sportsdesk?

and down the isn't in with the Red Wings (choke) for top spot but □early the need for a strong defensive Gartner's been flying up wing Why Cujo playing the NHL?

to hasn't been this like a kid and it's time before Whatever happened Rocky and there really a big spark year. only Saganuk

the Gentle Giant starts John Anderson? Who else is the Issue 1: The blueline. The outstanding per- Andreychuk scoring glad Sharks a bunches. The "French Connection" of have collapsed this year? formance of Jonnson and Murphy has over- Cteiity strong in Pro of the week. all shadowed the inconsistencies of the other Momesso, Sundin and Hogue have really tip To you young

been the star line all The Bomb defencemen out there, shoot-in, turn defencemen. Jamie Macoun is playing like a defensive year. Squad on a

towards the and not the boards. bad Brad Marsh. No defensive zone cover- has really lacked some punch though. man

and little effort. Bomber and Domi have been scrapping age, poor clearing attempts defenceman is

but been a fire under All he can be counted on for is an occasional they haven't lighting

block If anybody. Mike Craig has improved shot or a stupid slashing penalty. high on the wish Hoop but that still isn't much. some team really wants him, Qiffie, please immensely saying

The that this Wood is a high priced plugger who let him go. scariest thing is is list for coach Randy the Leafs best defensive defenceman. can eat up ice time. Hawks Dave Ellett. Davey is starting to show his Leaf Flashbacks. Free agent compensation

that the Pat Bums. Ken age on the ice as the jump graced for Gary Nylund-superstar

A red-faced John Gardens earlier in his career has clearly dis- Yaremchuk. Brophy try-

defenceman the wish list for coach Demers. A fast start appeared. No offense and no defense. We is on ing to get at Jacques grounded Come this hole is Jim Korn leads the Leafs to think often wonderifhe is even playing. Patty. playoff time gaping by they

Big Dmitri and Bobby Gill. Solid, but only going to get bigger unless the problem have a powerplay sniper. Checking special- addressed The the Leafs ist Terrion. CONOR MCCREERY injuries have plagued what could have been is soon. only hope Greg Cord Sports

While it would be an exaggeration to say that

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED A CAREER IN RADIATION THERAPY? Laurier's men's basketball program took a step

backwards after losing to the Queen's Golden

Gaels 87-70 on Sunday, the loss was definitely a at the disappointing result for the Hawks.

The Golden Gaels are in many ways like

Laurier: they are a smaller, aggressive team, that HAMILTON REGIONAL CANCER CENTRE for like relies on a perimeter game points. And also

Laurier, Queen's basketball has been something of

LONDON REGIONAL CANCER CENTRE recent looked like a laughing stock in years. So it it

should shape up as an interesting match-up, two

quick, hardworking teams that liked to bomb. ONTARIO CANCER INSTITUTE / PRINCESS MARGARET HOSPITAL

The simple answer as to why the Hawks lost

would be to look at three point accuracy: Queen's

TORONTO-SUNNYBROOK REGIONAL CANCER CENTRE shot 48 percent while the Hawks shot an embar-

look rassing nineteen percent. You could also at

overall shooting with the Gaels holding a nineteen of of health in cancer Radiation Therapists are part a dynamic team care professionals management. percent edge (55-36). The simple fact though is Radiation combines with care. The Radiation Therapy high technology compassionate patient that Laurier allowed themselves to be outplayed

of radiation and the well Therapist is responsible for administering the prescribed dose monitoring by Queen's.

The Hawks off to a good start as Stuart Tait radiation got being of the patient throughout the course of treatment. scored nine early points pacing Laurier to an early

11-6 lead. However, Queen's rode the hot hand of

will enable to work Canada as well as many other Your professional qualification you throughout Derek Richardson to a 24-16 lead (Richardson

with -15 countries. would finish 24 points on treys).

was Tony Weis, Laurier's super point guard

able to help pull the Hawks close at half by scoring PROGRAM FEATURES nine points for Laurier in the half which ended at

• accumulation of general Bachelor of Science Credits 36-32 for Queen's.

This marked the arrival of two football 24-36 month programs* game and players to the team, Andrew Scharschmidt • admission for each requirements vary program their first Jason Warren. Both men were playing

basketball Hawks it showed. games as and

of choice Scharschmidt, who scored 13 in the con- For more information, contact the centre your game, stantly overpowered the Golden Gaels' defenders

his he finished 6 of 20 from only to miss shot, as Centre Hamilton Regional Cancer Centre London Regional Cancer the field. Warren only got into 4 minutes and gath-

School of Radiation fouls for his trouble. To be School of Radiation Therapy Therapy ered a turnover and 3 will take Road fair to Scharschmidt and Warren, it some 699 Concession Street 790 Commissioners East basketball. time to get used to playing varsity Hamilton, Ontario LBV 5C2 London, Ontario N6A 4L6 The second half was something of a nightmare 6:00 For further call House: January 23, 1996, pm information, Open Tuesday, for the Hawks. Twice the Hawks trailed by more

call five, (905) 387-9711 x 3901 Pre-registration required, than 10, and twice they rallied to pull within with 3:30 (519) 685-8666 but after they made it 70-65 Queen's watched the remaining the Hawks fell apart and

shot Gaels put shot after away. brook Cancer Centre Ontario Cancer Institute/ Toronto-Sunny Regional that Weis Further bad news came from the fact unable Princess Margaret Hospital School of Radiation Therapy* hurt his ankle driving to the hoop, and was was to come back into the The bright side School of Radiation Therapy 2075 Bayview Avenue game. that backup guard Stef Barrie played a strong North Ontario M4N 3M5 610 Avenue, Room 3-914 York, well University and 5 steals, as game with 8 points, 3 assists, further call Ontario MSG 2M9 For information, the at all times. Toronto, as hustling up and down court "[Queen's] just For further information, call (416) 480-4561 Afterwards Coach Jefferies said he also played harder than we did." However, 946-2027 (416) used to reminded Laurier that the team has to get

playing with the new players.

1996 lead Tait with 14 points, Deadline for application: February 16, Laurier was by with Scharschmidt with 13 rebounds and Barrie

his 3 assists, and 5 steals. • 24 month at Students with a BSc be for the program Toronto-Sunnybrook may eligible tournament at Laurier has an exhibition

Cancer Centre season Regional Western still to come before the regular

begins.

14 November 29, 1995 theCord ENTERTAINMENT

Scorsese gambles and wins

JASON PAUL restrained, performance which "can I trust you?" When it becomes

stands of his other work he Ace is unable Cord Entertainment up to any apparent can not,

than to end the until it's too Without a doubt, the Robert De (other Raging Bull). marriage

At Niro/Martin Scorsese collaboration Scorsese has become a master late. the casino, everyone is trying

with the The to scam him, so he has to become has created some of the most spec- camera. opening

In the inner work- involved in the tacular moments in cinema. sequence presents very daily operations. the about his Casino, they have reinforced this ings of the casino and where He is always concerned

The actual As of his he notion of creative brilliance. The money really goes. image. part image

inside the casino the dresses in plot, based on a true story, revolves footage gives always expensive design- the around the rise and fall of Sam film a greater degree of realism. He er suits that are as bright as

in "Ace" Rothstein (De Niro) as boss of lights Vegas.

close a its Although they are large I Vegas casino. It exposes Director very that friends, unorthodox actions the corruption was present (but Nicky's and carefully concealed) in the gambling has taint Ace's reputation contribute Scorsese downfall. those who industry during the 19705. to his For are beware. The of The character development weak-hearted, acts become a disturb- role. violence in Casino are plays a very strong Sharon very Stone plays Ace's feisty wife, and ing and drawn out. It is shocking

her because it's difficult to believe that gives the performance of career. master with be inflicted Her plunge into drugs and alcohol is so much pain can on any the loe Pesci also co- one This movie has been very unsettling, the camera. person.

most film of the stars as the hot-headed Nicky anticipated year circles, and it is Santoro who acts more on Ills emo- among Hollywood

offers excellent of Don't allow its tions than on common sense. some examples completely justified.

would be to dismiss this how to buck the three-hour time to serve as It easy gamblers try sys- running

film carbon Goodfellas tem. the movie runs for it. It is a rivet- as a copy of Although an excuse missing

cuts and never but that would be a vast mistake. almost three hours, he the ing powerful story that

similar and lets and is out- Pesci does play a very role, scenes together magnificently up supported by

than him? allows the slow down. across the but who does it better never story to standing performances

The to in Ace's life is board. There haven't been too And no offence to Ray Liotta, but De key success many

his movies in but this is Niro gives a more passionate, yet trust. He continuously asks wife. must-see 1995,

one of them.

PICTURE Robert DeNiro gives a typically stellar performance as the slick boss of

Las casino. HLfc a Vegas

Our Lady Bitter disappoints

BRANDON WATSON It also sucks for other people who are receiving

Cord Entertainment a boot in the face from some moron. On the

The opening band, Tripping Daisy, appeared positive side, I saw only one casualty. A girl was

row after as I was ordering a Coke. It was the most removed from the front being pan-

impressive part of the evening, which began in caked.

total darkness. mixed with band show with A trippy humming a The played a relatively tight

police siren cued their entrance. Once the lights Dan, their newest acquision, replacing Chris

treated the fans their came on, the band exploded and the lead singer Eacrett on bass. They to

red dress and like pranced out in a lovely a shaggy, more popular songs "Birdman",

brunette wig. Quite funny. Tripping Daisy, from "Supersatellite", and "Naveed". During Naveed,

Dallas, was playing their second of five concerts however, there was more bitterness from lead

with Our Lady Peace on November 23rd at singer, Raine. As he finished a verse he put the

Federation Hall. microphone to the crowd anticipating the cho-

I remember trying to get into an Our Lady rus to be sung back to him, but nobody

a month tell Peace concert about ago in London. It flinched. I guess he felt it proper then to

gave me a bad feeling about the band whenthe them they were "lame". This time the fans were

line off in front of It dis- less and about middle fin- was cut right me. was passive a hundred

for almost three hours all appointing, waiting and gers saluted the band in response. In seri-

not someone's getting in. Well, I was again disappointed ousness, if you were a guest at

with but this did the band, time I get in. I hate to house, would you be rude enough to say that

either has stunk? say it, but bad manners or fame they

turned band little the this a sour. According to The show wasn't a complete failure. The

T-shirt show "a salesman, the was good one". I music was well played. Near the end of the con- would have to disagree. cert, Our Lady Peace did a wonderful rendition

It crowd was a big for Federation Hall; a of "Needle and the Damage Done" which they in sell-out fact. Lots ofpeople and lots of hype. It had recorded on a Neil Young tribute album.

show was a that was set-up, cancelled, and set- Fortunately, the end of the show became more

up again... or was it? Apparently the huge relaxed and less insulting for both the band

in Waterloo that Our and the rumour bubbling was the fans. I even found encore piece

Peace the to theband Lady was cancelling show play a "Starseed" lifting my spirits a little. As

more the prosperous one in States. On stage, retreated to their dressing room, they didn't

lead singer Raine Maida let the crowd know the smile, they didn't talk, they just walked like whole bitter story. He mentioned that a UW business men.

student had E-mailed the band and called them Bands do have bad days. I believe that

"sell-outs" for this this rumourous cancellation. November 23rd was a bad day for partic-

the is that he told the Anyway, point basically ular one. Perhaps now they wished they had

to "fuck-off'. It the of "un- guy was only beginning played in the States, far away from the

sourness. patriotic name-calling" of upset fans. The crowd managed to shrug it off and con- Nonetheless, their next show, which is to be

tinued their dances and Crowd of prances. surfing played in Toronto, may show a lighter side ISBISTER

was at an all-time which also high, got on my Our Lady Peace.

nerves. I don't how many times someone has to SIMON Raine Maida out the tunes, but fall on their head before pounds they stop climbing up. not well for the folks at Fed. enough PICTURE:

theCord November 29, 1995 15 (Entertainment)™

KAUFMAN FOOTWEAR This month's

FACTORY OUTLET t\<

Blemished Production warm & dry wisdom Overruns, Samples Discontinued Styles

CHERYL SPENCER ing drastic results. Be there WHOLESALE PRICES cA(Jf for a in CORD Entertainment friend need. Lucky days: 14, 15. SOREL winter boots Aries: (March 21-April 20) The one Unlucky days: 27, 28. for men, women and — love have hold Wellington you seems to quite a Libra: (Sept. 23-0ct.22) You have

on Watch step, be been a little worried about I you. your you may your love DEFROSTER winter § § VT7\ for Luck side life have l\ in a surprise. is on your lately. You no need to boots for men and | | Ave. lately for success in work and school. mate loves This is women | g worry- your you.

Remember not to be so frivolous best month for love. You FOAMTREAD — slippers : your will

" Vlctona for the j r with it is the reason have chance to family irfi your money, you a express your hterao BLACK DIAMOND are in debt. The moon in Mars is romantic side thus month. Don't hold

Mon.,Tues., Wed. 10 am - 5 m (KING TREAD) pm to think about back. influencing you your Lucky days; 15,16. Unlucky Fri. 10 am-8 1 workbootsand Thurs., pm "ff" future. Good idea, however make days: 1,2.

9 - rubber footwear Sat. am 4 pm 1 five reasonable. your year plan Scorpio: (0ct.23-N0v.22) You love

Lucky days: 1,2. Unlucky Days: machine. The moon in Venus is

think 16,17. causing you to about sex all the

Tauius: (April 21-May 20) Your stub- time this month. Slow down and

born side is causing conflicts lately. don't forget about school or work.

Remember to be a little bit You about more giv- are very passionate a pro- and other's ing open to suggestions, ject this month. You will prove to

Your love life is looking up these people that you are a survivor. Lucky A true about two who An Irish I Remember to show 5. BBBUe® coming-of-age, story poets days. your gen- days: 18,19. Unlucky days: 4, side Romeo Juliet Love convention in their work and erous as opposed to your cocky Sagittarius: (N0v.23-Dec.2o) You are lifflEßSifflifl & story. - ## honest with ** M side. Be yourself. Your a little rambunctious this month. ' ■8391 & "W ' will be full of Remember that laid back 'Touching T** holidays relaxing, your ways ■m dicaprio love. can cause trouble j something yoti Lucky days: 4,5. you at times. Let Competing'' Unlucky Days: 17,18, your romantic and passionate side Gemini: B S S (May 21-June 20) It appears come out this month- you may sur-

CR| MPMOVIE OF THE9OS'' ROMAINE as though you have found yourself a prise yourself. Your love life is look-

flir- B 1 good match. This is new for the ing up tills month especially towards that of tatious Gemini. Remember you the end the month. Lucky days:

hurt with flir- may get yourself your 19, 20. Unlucky days: 7, 8.

have tatious ways. School is bogging you Capricorn: (Dec.2l-Jan. 19) You

' B T** down but remember balance been have to your so busy lately! You to

extra-curricular love ffIETO^ activities. You are a learn to manage you time. Your

life this month little great communicator so help some- appears a con-

this month. at but don't one out Lucky days: 8,9. fusing times worry, you

Unlucky days: 20, 21. are doing the right thing. Remember AA_ Fri & Sat at 7:oopm ECLIPSE , Cancer 21- You have to show the love that (June July 20) ones you you 019:1 Dec 1"5 at Mo*-W«4 at fIM 7KMpa 9:lspm rated restricted had a hard time lately. Give yourself care about them. Your ambitious

a break, the holidays will bring you side encourages you to spend a little Waterloo 885-2950 King in Uplown Waterloo. jyjlljyjtllß great joy. You have been feeling a lit- more time organizing your life.

23. tle neglected by your family, they Lucky days; 22, unlucky days:

have not about in forgotten you, fact 9,10.

about lot. The they worry you a They Aquarius: (Jan.2o-Feb.lB) moon

want what makes in Venus is to be little only you happy. causing you a JF~ \ Lucky days: 9,10. Unlucky days: 22, frantic this month. Your money 23. problems will end soon. You should

have been take little time for Leo: (July 21-Aug. 21) You a more out you

this month because in need Every Sunday 9pm-lam one busy lion lately! Your giving you are to humanitarian of little Year's will nature will lead you a pampering. New

volunteer work this month. Stop be the biggest blast for you. Lucky

about love life and 24, 25. 12,13. Blackwater worrying your days: Unlucky days: concentrate You. will be the Pisces: 19- March The late on you. (Feb. 20)

star in a circle of friends at a nights you have been keeping are

Christmas gathering. Lucky days: 11, not doing well for your body or your

Draw 12. Unlucky days: 26, 27. mental health. You have to learn to and allow for Virgo: (Aug.2- Sept.22) Stop being relax a little more your

out. A loved so picky! You have a chance to show true animal side to come

side this month- knock will this your creative one definitely surprise you leave for 'em dead! You are feeling a little blue month. Your holidays will you 2 1 Don't around the relaxed- from lately. worry, fun is feeling a change your

Give little sometimes self. corner. yourself a more uptight Lucky days:

all Nachos time to study- nighters are caus- 27, 28. Unlucky days: 14,15.

Eating outfor the holidays m* Join us for a Boxing Day

JOEL LYNN AND 7. Is that the dog you are passing

party! JEFFANDERSON turkey to under the table or your

Cord Entertainment mother-in-law?

Direct from the home office in 6. Dear Lord, thanks for the food,

from friends the the rum in the Waterloo, your in our friends, and

office... WLUSUFinance egg nog... Thank for Christmas dinner 5. you mention The Top Ten Things Not to Say Mom, and did 1 forget to

that is pregnant? During Your Holiday Dinner... my girlfriend How 4. Uncle Bob to Sister Nancy:

10. could much festive table dance? Darling, you please pass for a

all lose some the stuffing and 1 want a 3. What do you say we

divorce... restrictive clothing after dinner

Gee and Twister? 9. Grandpa, is that the gravy, or play

for the holi- in the are you smelling ripe 2. These aren't lumps gravy, days? they're Grandma's teeth!

8. What do smoke love that home-made you mean I can't 1.1 just

mistletoe at the Chiistmas table? Christmas Cake!

16 November 29, 1995 theCord PARTIES ARE The latest drug

on the bar scene SUCH

for what FUN..J MIKE VENCEL cept. Soonwe were playing seemed

descent hell Cord Entertainment like forever, and my into began.

at them as stared After that night, I haven'tbeen the same. I remember laughing they

little I make lunch dates for Wilfs glassy-eyed into the distance at square don't anymore;

words I make NTN dates. I order food and it comes, boxes upon which were flashing.

it is not fun. but eaten when there is break Now I havejoined them, and it only gets a

1 is Mike Vencel and I'm a in NTN. Last Wednesday had lunch with Hi, my name If two friends and of them has not been National Trivia Network (NTN) junkie. you one yet

let it inducted into the cult NTN. As have not heard of NTN yet, me explain of we ran over

the bar friend Our favourite bar, (Wilfs) to to get our playmakers, our for you. on-campus

trivia for all to (an NTN sat down at the table. As he ' has this demonic game play. virgin) ' HI m and will there, talked in what must have Walk into Wilfs one afternoon, you sat we about I mean. Half of the TV's have sounded like to him entering see what ques- tongues

from 'What is the our Plus number and how tions on ill em ranging cap- Player's many

'What the last had. As the ital of Saskatchewan?' to is points we game began, conver-

and of painting Van Gogh painted?' To answer sation stopped the only words out our

must mouths the answer these questions, you procure a 'play- were curses as we got

tried to maker' (TM) from the bartender by handing wrong. I think our NTN virgin say

student ID free!). but was when I said, in over your (It's completely something, stopped won't allow best voice, 'Can't After entering your name (it you my Homer-esque

four- but taIk....NTN 0n....' That was the extent of our to try your lettered favourites, you I.' to conversation until our bill and left. , V^| can be creative) you're set play by pressing we paid

choices. That there is the buttons that correspond to onscreen right problem, my

that know what NTN let me friends. If NTN has the to entice us Now you is, power

to from this of like that, what would if it fell into the beg you stay away spawn happen

will not let hands evil? dictators could flash Satan. Once NTN has got you, it of Foreign

I know this: it to It subliminal onto the screen, you go. happened me. messages telling subvert and stalled out innocent enough, I experimented us to our government create

table the seri- chaos. could use the a little at a in comer. Nothing general Unlucky guys

of to dates. Advertisers could ous and hey, I could stop anytime I wanted. power NTN get

I to to their Or so I thought. Then came the clincher... use it get us buy products... Oh,

NTNed for five hours straight. No that is not wait, they're doing that now. The list goes on

reads hours. friend's and I friends, do not a typo, that fwe It was a on. implore you my try

finished this evil it will suck in, and birthday, and we had just dinner, so game: you you

before to the will in hell. As for we had to pass tine time going spend an eternity burning

of asked 'Do I'm oft to Wilfs to little NTN. See Tuiret. One my friends me you me, play a

NTN?' I said that I was familiar with tine con- you there.

DynamicDuo: lOTA. ' Riding offinto the smutty sunset

Dear Dynamic Duo,

Why do people find sticking on someone's toes appealing? What

can they possibly be thinking of as they shove their beloveds feet

in their mouth?

Signed,

Footloose

Dear Foot Loose,

People have often been intrigued with the concept of flossing

their teeth with their loved one's toenails. Toejam, however, is an

Ancient acquired taste that can act as an aphrodisiac for many. New Years Eve that legend states that all the human nerves run vertically, and a

will run from the the the major pulse toe up leg to groin. their Pedaeophiles are stimulated by putting throbbing, pulsing

toes in someone's mouth, and then sliding them in and out rhyth-

mically. It could also be the excitement of a velvet tongue slipping

around the ingrown toenail ofa loved one.

Dynamic Duo

Dear Dynamic Duo,

How do you guys get your ideas for answers? Signed,

Curious Dear Curious, (mmes) It's a remarkably funny thing that you should ask that Dynamic

Duo has found it is time to announce that we are going on "sab-

batical". like all good academics, a good deal of theory is built

from and of research. After three of up years years years publi- have found cation, we it necessary to go underground once more

and find some more truths. We where no one has plan to go TICKETS ON SALE THIS FRIDAY gone before. Fear not Laurler; the truth will set you free. As you

go through life, remember the age old proverb, "If you suck it, he will come." gLL 888-7663 FOR DETAILS Dynamic Duo

theCord November 29, 1995 17 (Entertainment)- A blood-suckin' video vacation

CONOR MCCREERYAND There is a total lack of control for was a hoot to but hard hell. frustrating. game play as The graphics are beautiful for except Kyle, MIKE VENCEL character. When tell he The for Kyle to run, Conor: idea the is the who doesn't have in your you game good, a face, fact almost of all Cord Entertainment will, but only after a few seconds. This is music is but the controls suck. It the very creepy, sprites seem to not have faces. Nosferatu Title: Nosferatu when have to run from became to this could have been frustrating you away increasingly frustrating play a great game, but because of Format: Platform Fighting (1 Player) an and can't, so he beats to The worst is when are enemy you you game. part you trying its absolutely insipid control it is too frustrat- SNES death System: with his own As I was to and the controls make a leg. playing fight, bad habit of ing, to be anything but (By the average. way... Seta Conor asked Company: me if I was trying to see how making it difficult to attacks off, Christmas Retailers—1 get especially Vampires, see the con-

In the game Nosferatu become Kyle, a different I could break the and kick attack. both you many ways Kyle's uppercut, spinning nection: are blood sucking ghouls). lad whose Erin has been kid- Truth be that what young girlfriend spine. told, is exactly I was (Which conveniently are the most powerful).

napped the evil Nosferatu. You I'm a little sadistic but I received The boss levels by vampire doing. Maybe are cool (although why CONOR: C must battle after your way through stage great joy watching Kyle running into walls, or Nosferatu has two gorillas on his side is MIKE: B of stage zombies, gargoyles, wolf men and jumping down three stories and hearing his beyond me) both in looks, and in the actual

abominations to find the evil Nosferatu. when he hits bottom action. Nosferatu is a and This spine snap or just plain big game gives you game can be rented at Microplay 133 to Mike: This game is fun play but also very old impaling him onto spikes. Anyway, this plenty ofchallenge. Weber St. N 888-7900. HAM ear candy ear candy

"Full On Idle". Title track "Pacer" paced don't that are going to make this band.

and Screen "Breaking the Split Barrier" Their music is the music of our generation,

also have their moments, but in about some talking sex, love, acceptance and the

weird remind of way they you past pro- future. Some of the songs are so true to life

Not diverse effort jects. quite as an as past that you might think they're singing about

Breeders albums, but still a fun little cites MTHMI Uip. you. Cancer Fish The Doors, Jane's

Sean Moore Addiction and Crowded House as their

A. ■ influences, so you can imagine how their

music sounds. You can find their first full- Sunday. Dec. 3 is GenX's B°Day.

length CD at any music store, so try it out if Come down and celebrate unth Us! The for fresh "V. \ Amps you're looking a new alternative Mourns for a buch and prizes too! Pacer band. Mike Vencel 4AD/Polygram LUin Pulp Fiction. Free Rentals or Out of the ashes of the Pixies rises yet GenX T°Shirts [cool!]. another Kim Deal machination. Apparently 1 \ \ this new album came about because Miss

K-W's Deal of besj sel£c.+i6iV\ had a lot new song material written for the Breeders, and couldn't wait for offfcretan, cull, just her sister to finish her drug rehab. The for- Cancer Fish I % J mula remains the same for about X ant me, and just every Aquarium Hard number on this quick thirty-three minute Independent

musical On first listen to I expedition. Catchy guitar melodies, my Cancer Fish, thought it videos. fuzzy harmonizing vocals, and very little was another trendy alternative band that Cord this the Kim sounded like else. On second post-production gives typical everyone my

Deal sound. Some numbers I wasn't Some of Cancer Parnh c66l interesting listen, so sure. oh«rd-;46-find include and "Hoverin" Fish's sound like alter- AARON HUNTER "Braggin Party" songs exactly every

with their +66. choppy rhythms, plus the fast native song out there, but it's the ones that Cord Entertainment mags Fe&zNcwidadfrom theHard Cord staff

1. Gordon Korman.

in Where are you, now that my life's

ruins? You traitorous bastard!

[69REGIflflST.fi.] [888®GE11X] Where are you?

Thanhs to luho made the eueryone Ist year great. 2. Good King Wenceslaus.

Teased mercilessly as a child, I'm

sure. Protect Your More Christmas fTTv & Gourmet jelly beans. Investment \[V A little bit ofbile inside a wholelot of Continued from 1 page caulking. Preferred Service For Readings The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the ALLACURAS Galaxy, by: Douglas Adams (Pan: 4. Jennifer Jason Leigh. "Your car's home from home." away 1979). I'm reviewing this for two 50.., versatile.

because FAIRVIEW 893-9000 reasons. Partly I enjoyed I this book, but because this The Central Red 112"! 2685 Kingsway Dr. mostly 5. Army hockey vj I IAA Kitchener. Ont. book interest particular baptized my tourof Ontario. Located behind Fairview Mall ■ Ride to Laurier available in reading for my own enjoyment. 'RedDawn'in Cooper pants.

Since then, reading has become so

in that dictator important keeping me sane I 6. Technology as

I Adams at the air figure owe something very Homer show: "Why jerk

The Hitch Hiker's to the neck around like when large. Guide my a goon Galaxy is simply wacky and fun to Tyranno-Vision decides what I C 5 C^t^LcrCr A It's and read. nothing more, never should watcb?"

tries It's the tale of rather #~yy\c-'L>'vLf to be. a normal Brit who finds his life devas- 7. Ben-Hun » 3F3b .gi»£ir«j tatingly changed after realizing that Before 'Die Hard* and before 'Under who the universe is infinitely more Siege', there was one man

and drive a absurd than assumed. At the center could throw a spear of of this tale is the Hitch Hiker's guide: chariot like it was going out

the ultimate encyclopedia, granting style... And it was.

often hilarious descriptions about

could everything you imagine. There a Advance Green. of are five books altogether in this The driving equivalent getting

series, the first four you can get in a 'picked first*at recess.

very inexpensive compilation put

out by Heinemann Press. The last 9. ttie Pontiac Fiero. off one is called Mostly Harmless, and The driving equivalent of falling cleverly ties everything together. the monkey bars.

it not While may be all that substan- io,ve-! infection. ctZy> T^r tial, The Hitch Hiker's Guide is a 10. Chronic sinus

lovely interlude from the academic Keep blowing that nose, Chuckles,

sludge you've been reading. or there wont be roomfor turkey.

18 November 29,1995 theCord NEUSTUDENTEN KUNST

his eye was too strained to trlct."

focus. "Well, let me enlighten you Without Feathers Anton Volcansek "I must sleep," he finally about the Rebellion of Louis be sub- R1 elI said, rasped. "The essays can sitting up.

he mitted late. This 1s a decla- "Louis Rlel was this fellow difficult to be working. Those assignments shot even though only uses It's been sleep ration of rebellion," he said, over 1n Manitoba. He rebelled. with Franz must be in on time or we lose one. the last few nights

of and In a The Canadian killed don't try a few promptly collapsed government writing our essays. He moans preci ous marks." "Why you up

I on the floor. hlm. The end. There, that's a and even bursts out "We lose?" he cried out. "We these for yourself, while get heap on occasion hi for all meln Herr? I haven't Oh, I could sense s grow- Canadian parable you. for no lose? I'm the one writing some rest, into convulsive tears That's ing dissent. Before he could I heard sobbing, and then a the bloody assignments, you slept in three days. reason. work meek Herr before seventy-two hours. My hands get ideas about a "Yes. Anton." "Aaaaaah my life, why my gi t." any have I went in with the he dragged himself back to life....aaaaaah ." I de'cided to quell this tremble. I gastric reflux, stoppage

rebellion before it and I the bleet artillery. work. "Franz, would you please threatening keep hearing "Franz," I said stern!y, This growing belligerence is it down? I'm to became impolite. bleet of the sheep I lost my keep trying Louis Riel." He "Remember Franz. with when I was thir- "Remember beginning to concern me. sieep." your job, virginity the notion of You write, I ty-seven "Who?" might get silly "Yes, sheriff Buck, you lazy sleep." ."

could hear "Get hold of "Louis Riel. You know, the himself, then where bastard son of a bitch." He stood up (I a yourself, asserting be? and Franz," I advised. Canadian legend." would my authority "Franz, did you say some- his knees crack) staggered I He stood there for a few "I'm German, meln Herr. We If it doesn't stop. may thing?" to the edge of my bed. His hair his moments. I could tell he were indoctrinated with differ- have to begin "No." stood as a tribute to Einstein, was drugging

school dls- to and both his blood- to stare me down, but ent myths in water. "Good, you are supposed eyes were trying my

There's no what's Now it can Stand to cool the scorching sun just telling

1f knew- Walls He said Then suddenly it's raging and Fallen trees may bar your path ahead but even you but what is not", Everybody has Walls life is cold and numb. and darkness hide your way "Nothing is

But life resembles nature and and this I know is true. I've been building this Wall

I'm just looking in In times like these remember the beauty it portrays. The sun may wilt your flowers, for years your cliff and fallen the rain them life She said Windows the value of a friend. Every log, may give

each and ravine But in friend- They're there your soul to swamp deep finding strength

Add the forest that's will always ease Its 9 mi 11imetres around She closed the door strengthen. On them you can beauty to ship your

her otherwise strife. Its 3/8 of an inch thick watched through Window depend. unseen.

he flew When know Jamie W.L Hill Its all broken as away down, you'll they'll

Then settled back comfortably be there to chase your blues

under the sheet When Flowers grow away.

Parker UVE in cracks Virginia When life is great they'll

share with smiles- in a Wall you your connections and they weaken the Wal 1 bright gay.

until i t Crumbles . Friendship Voice Ad On-line Not I offer you my friendship I've torn off all the Petals Changeth because I really care:

An heart I've torn out all the It's sometimes hard to handle open mind, a caring

Feathers life with all its twists and and lots of love to share. Wl-on-l 651-1921 I'm not going to look before turns. I want you to believe me for

I The sun shines warm upon your what I say is true. Talk to or I jump Phonelech corp. assumes no liability > meet fun people

meeting through this Adults (18+) face but rapidly it burns. Just ask and I will be there if only jn ugyf |Q C3l area •Free • call, long-distance charges may apply. She said The gentle breeze blows softly there's something I can do.

1 UTirnj^ißnX! inner City Wishes ait laurier IUIfInUWBWPJ students a Merry Christmas A

KEBfillfiSffißßlißlH i9fc and a Happy Hew year/!

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theCord November29,l99s 19 ■ ®0[ personal PAIR]'

M Deadline: noon! Friday December 8, 1995 at 12:00

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THURSDAY « FRIDAY • SATURDAY

The Ultimate Monster Keg Party!

7 Yes Keg Party!

___

! You ain't seen NOTHIN' like it!

• from Waterloo's newest watering hole. Take a break your studies.

In the old Yuk-Yuk's location, right next next door to Loose Change Louie's!