Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Fall 9-16-1988

Volume 24 - Issue 4 - Friday, September 16, 1988

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 24 - Issue 4 - Friday, September 16, 1988" (1988). The Rose Thorn Archive. 737. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/737

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FRIDAY, SEPT. 16, 1988 Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Vol. 24. No. 4 GO ROSE GO ROSE Football Tittapir Soccer BEAT BEAT Washington Rhodes News Briefs Logan Library computerizes circulation by Jeff Valput new system will enable library us- mation will increase library This past summer, the staff of ers to check the LUIS terminal to age and make the task of finding Voter registration Sept. 22 the Logan Library installed a full see if the book they want has been book much less cumbersome than online computer circulation checked out. This is just one of the it can sometimes be. Any sugges- by Steve Ufheil man Union. system. time saving benefits of the tions or questions are welcome. The right to vote is guaran- The process is neither com- This involves barcoding the system. Just stop in the library. and ask or teed by the Constitution of the plicated or long, and it will en- books in the library and giving all The automation will enable the Jon Robson or any other library United States. Rose Students sure the students the right to library users a barcode. The new library staff to create usage data staff member, and they y% ill bi will be able to exercise that vote in November. system will be identical to the In- of the library's books by subject more than happy to listen or otter right to vote by registering. Remember, in choosing not diana State University's library areas. This will enable library assistance. Three registrars will be on to vote, you have already made system, in which all books are staff to determine who uses what Many books have not been bar the Rose-Hulman campus on a choice. checked out with a barcode I.D. and areas of heavy usage. This coded yet, but these can still be Sept. 22 to register students. and registered in the computer's will allow them to update the book checked out. They will be bar The registration, for those For more information con- memory. collection to best serve student's coded at the desk when you check eligible, will be held from 10 cerning voter registration. The new system will make it a needs, and to make the best use of them out. The automation should a.m. to 8 p.m. in either the lob- contact John Colburn, the Res- simpler task to check out books in their funds. be completed by the end (it thiC - by or music room of the Hul- ident Assistant on Deming O. the library. Upon completion. the The library staff hopes the auto- school year. Quarterly seeking contributions SMWC community orchestra announces season by Sean Salamander works such as: "The Six Most T he Quarterly, Rose- Disgusting Things on Earth," The Saint Mary-of-the-Woods son will be held on Sunday, "Star Spangled Banner" and Hulman's literary magazine, "The Essay of Life," "Per- College Community Orchestra November 6, at 3:00 p.m. in the "Your Land and Nly Land." Each is currently seeking sub- petual Torment," "A Dozen has slated a series of one evening LeFer ballroom. In honor of the selection presented will be by an missions for publication of its White Roses," "American and four Sunday afternoon con- 75th anniversary of the Con- American composer. fall issue. Baby" and "The Hippies." certs for the 1988-89 season. The servatory of Music on the Woods Women composers will be sa- Submissions can include any Subscriptions to the Quar- orchestra is composed of musi- campus, the orchestra will per- luted in the Spring Concert on Sun- written material ranging from terly are also available. The cians from the college and from form Dvorak's "Humoresque," a day. April 9. at 3:00 p.m. Entitled science fiction short stories price is three issues for $2. the surrounding communities. It composition that was played at "What Women?" the concert will and poetry to indepth essays. All submissions and sub- is under the direction of Sister the dedication of the Con- feature two works by women Artwork is also needed for the scription requests (including Carol Nolan, professor of music at servatory in 1913. composers. One-half of the pro- cover and for publication. $21 should be sent to Box 1168. the Woods. The orchestra's Christmas con- ceeds from the concert will be do- The Quarterly offers stu- Subscriptions may also be ob- The season will open with the cert will take place on Tuesday, nated to the local Council on dents and faculty as well to tained from Susan Smith in the annual "Concert in the Court," December 6, at 6:30 p.m. in the Domestic Abuse. show off their creative writing Learning Center. All sub- which will take place in the serene Owens Hall auditorium. Patrons The College Community talents in whatever area they missions and subscription re- setting of the Foley Hall center will have an opportunity to join in Orchestra rehearses on Tuesday choose. quests should include name courtyard. The concert, which the singing on Handel's "Hallelu- evenings at the Woods. The Past issues have included and campus box number. will be held on Sunday, October 2 jah Chorus." ensemble is open to all in- at 3:00 p.m., has a theme of "Pa- Sunday. February 19, will fea- strumentalists in the Wabash Val- rades and other Celebrations." ture the ensemble in an "All le y and new members are Rose-Hulman The concert will feature a number American Concert." To be held in currently being accepted. String ATO chapter of marches, including Jessel's the LeFer Ballroom at 3:00 p.m., players are especially welcome. receives national awards "Parade of the Wooden Soldiers." this concert will include favorite Interested musicians should con- The second concert of the sea- American anthems including the tact Sister Carol at 535-5212. This past summer, Alpha wins, the highest number of Tau Omega fraternity chapter wins received in this country. of Rose-Hulman was awarded Troubles plague Massachusetts the highest national award ATO of Rose also received given to an ATO chapter, the honorable mention for the True Merit Award. Community Awareness campuses in Dukakis' wake The True Merit Award, Award. This award is given to awarded at the fraternity's those chapters with outstand- by Julie Lanza bias toward private institutions, Some students, however. are national convention, is given to ing social service programs in (CPS) — If he's elected presi- by scandals that pushed several upset most by Dukakis's support the chapter demonstrating the local community. These dent in November, Gov. Michael campus presidents out of jobs and of a measure that would allow efficiency, excellence and out- programs have included ac- Dukakis will take with him educa- by Dukakis's failure to maintain schools to keep excess revenues standing achievement in pro- tive involvement in the Happi- tion policies that have left stu- adequate operations budgets for generated by tuition hikes. The grams, personal development ness Bag Community Center dents in Massachusetts with more state colleges. "tuition retention" plan, student and overall chapter opera- and Pebble Park Retirement financial aid and campuses with Jenifer, for one, said operating leaders say, encourages colleges tions. By receiving this award, Center. Also, the chapter has more buildings, but that have also budget cuts have almost para- to raise their prices. ATO of Rose-Hulman ties organized the annual ATOi gotten the state's public colleges lyzed the state higher education Vincent McGrath, president of Washington State University's Area Seven Special Olympics in deep budget troubles. system. the State College Faculty Associa- ATO chapter with sixteen Track Meet. This fall, for example, some Public campuses will receive tion and a Salem State College schools are turning away stu- $638 million this year, $21.3 mil- professor, said tuition increases dents, replacing teachers with lion less than last year. Current are often determined by what pri- computers and raising tuition 8.5 operating budgets are "not con- vate colleges charge,even though percent — a higher price hike than ducive to maintaining pro- private schools "can't keep their the national average of 4 percent grams,'' Jenifer said. own costs down." Hallympics Standings — to cope with deep budget cuts. Fitchberg State President Vin- McGrath also thinks Dukakis In general, the Dukakis admin- cent Mara called the reductions tends to bow to the traditional istration has been both a boon and the most severe blow to public in- dominance of private -colleges in Speed Hall 28 a bust for colleges and universi- stitutions since the state's fiscal Massachusetts. ties. crisis during Dukakis's first term "We aren't California. we're Baur-Sames-Bogart Hall ... 22 The boons have been consider- in 1975. not Texas and we're not Michi- able: since beginning his second Several schools say they'll ac- gan," Dukakis said during a 1986 term in 1982, after a four-year ab- cept fewer students this year be- Boston Globe interview. "We do Deming Hall 20 sence from the governor's office cause of financial woes. To save happen to have some of the finest and a stint of teaching at Harvard, money, they'll cut back on teach- ( private) institutions in the world. Dukakis has raised student aid, ing assistants, freeze faculty hir- And I don't think it makes sense Mees Hall 19 faculty salaries and the budgets of ing and tap maintenance funds to for us to duplicate that (by build- the programs on public campuses try to provide the same level of ing up public colleges I." to promote his high tech agenda services as last year. The remark infuriated many Blumberg Hall 9 for the state's economy. The University of Massachu- educators and students. Stanley setts at Ainherst, the state's flag- Rosenberg, a Democratic state As the federal government re- ship public university with more representative from Arnherst. Scharpenberg Hall 4 duced aid to students,the Dukakis than 20,000 undergraduates, is said the U-Mass community still administration picked up the charging students a special one- feels betrayed. Skinner Hall 1 slack: since 1983 the state's time $230 fee to raise emergency But in a letter circulated to fel- scholarship fund, for example, cash. low educators and published in jumped from $19 million to $84 the Chronicle of Higher Education million. Many University of Lowell stu- earlier this year, Wesleyan Uni- dents will receive instruction versity Prof. Robert Wood. a long- Earlier in 1988, moreover, from computers, instead of fac- time Dukakis foe, credits the Dukakis signed legislation to ini- ulty members, in order to cut Massachusetts legislature alone Inside this issue... tiate more than $400 million in costs. Those students will have to with providing real support for massive construction, mainte- pay a $100 fee to use computer higher education in t he Bay State. nance and repair projects on labs. And critics, including the Bush Opinions & Columns 2 several campuses, a bill that was "Without the faculty we have to campaign, have noted a certain a top priority for education offi- do something," said President "sleaze factor" on the state's pub- cials. William T. Hogan. lic campuses. "I think we were treated rea- It could get worse. State cam- While former Dukakis educa- Sports 3 sonably fair," said Franklyn pus budgets, Dukakis said during tion advisor Gerard Indelicato Jenifer, chancellor of the Board of a March hearing on college sav- was sentenced in July to 30 Regents of Higher Education. Yet ings bonds, "cannot be expected months in prison for fraud. two Humor/Satire 4 Massachusetts students and ad- to continue to grow at anything Westfield State College presi- ministrators maintain they're like the rate they have over the dents have fallen to scandals in frustrated by what they see as a past few years." the last three years FRIDAY, SEPT. 16, 1988 PAGE 2 ROSE THORN Opinion and Columns Profile: Christian ogi?0'-`Araftmg Campus Ministry by Paul Kimmerle elude a Wednesday night study If you're looking for an easy )7:00 p.m.) that is lighter in na- titm.b. you're at the wrong school: ture.. We currently are watching if you're looking for a great taste. and discussing a film series called to McDonalds, but if you're Holy Sweat. The eseries con- looking for Christian fellowship centrates on spiritual fitness. .cid a place to worship, then For the Early Birds, every Fri- SCAMPS is the place for you. day morning at 6:30 a.m. there is Scamps tofficially titled as Chris- an evangelistic Bible study fol- tian Campus Ministry ) is led by lowed by breakfast. Don't worry, campus ministers Mark Gallagh- there is plenty of time to make er and David Anderson and is lo- class. cati.‘d at the corner of Spruce and Less serious in nature,there are 8th Street. periodic recreational activities which help to deter stress from is But you ask. "what mounds of homework, papers, SCAMPS'!" SCAMPS is a minis- and generalized reading that are all try based on the beliefs that customary to all Rose students. that Christ men have sinned. and Some of these activities include might have died so that sinners pizza parties, hayrides, retreats, eternal life. movies nights and sports activi- In keeping with the habits of the ties. REDFORD kND NiUMAN disciples, we meet on Sundays at Aside from the above reasons, 9:30 a.m. for the purpose of sing- the Christian Campus Ministry is ing praises to God. praying, a great place to find friends that studying his word. and partaking you'll have for life - and beyond! at the box office of communion. Other meetings in- Come and join us. Record-setting summer -UPI- The "official" movie box- Holding down third place was $58.4 million, 8 weeks office summer season, May 20th the John Cleese-Jamie Lee Curtis- 5. "Who Framed Roger Rab- through Labor Day, set a record Kevin Kline comedy "A Fish bit," $4.4 million,$130.6 million, 11 A Career For You .. . this year with a gross of one point Called Wanda" with a tally of five weeks seven billion dollars, passing last million dollars. 6. "Cocktail," $4.3 million, $57.3 ILLINOIS POWER COMPANY year's record one point six billion. Number Four was "Die Hard" million, 5 weeks The five pace setters for the featuring Bruce Willis, which 7. "Young Guns," $4.1 million, summer of '88 were "Who grossed almost five million. $28.9 million, 4 weeks ,,Amek,) Framed Roger Rabbit,- w; The summer's champion box- 8. "Married to the Mob," $3.4 "Coming to America" with 117 office attraction, "Who Framed million, $12 million. 3 weeks OCTOBER 10, 1988 million, "Crocodile Dundee Two" Roger Rabbit," ranked number 9. "Big," $2.4 million, $97.8 mil- at 107 million, "Big" with 98 mil- five pulling in four and a half mil- lion, 14 weeks lion and "Die Hard" at 58 million. lion in its 11th week. 10. "Tucker," $2.3 million, $14.4 1141.NURING Looking at last week's box of- Number six was "Cocktail," a million. 3 weeks DA.11.1l. t.1,41.1.10 fice figures, "A Nightmare on love story starring Tom Cruise. It Elm Street Four" led the pack for raked in just over four million dol- WINO. POWS. COMPANY the third straight week with its lars. gross of six and one half million The top 10, last week's gross, dollars in 1800 theaters. It was total gross, weeks in release are The boys down at the down only eight percent from the below. docks were discussing a previous week. 1. "Nightmare on Elm Street Running in the number two spot 4," $6.4 million, $34.2 million, 3 local politician the for the second straight week was weeks other day and all "Betrayed." the Costa-Gavras 2. "Betrayed," $5.4 million, agreed that he was born view of American racism and the $13.2 million, 2 weeks poor and honest but FBI starring Tom Berenger and 3. "A Fish Called Wanda." $5 Debra Winger. It grossed five million. $37.7 million, 8 weeks managed to overcome point four million. 4. "Die Hard," $4.7 million, both difficulties.

Music charts for the past week

-UPI-Top 20 pop singles, based on Billboard's Top 20 albums, based on Billboard's survey of survey of broadcast play: sales and broadcast play: THORN STAFF 1. Sweet Child 0' Mine - Guns N' Roses 1. Hysteria - Def Leppard 2. Simply Irresistible - Robert Palmer 2. Appetite For Destruction - Guns N' Roses The Rose Thorn is published weekly at Rose-Hulman 3. Perfect World - Huey Lewis & The News 3. Tracy Chapman - Tracy Chapman - Bobby McFerrin 4. Roll with It - Steve Winwood Institute of Technology, Box 170, 5500 Wabash Ave., 4. Don't Worry, Be Happy 5. I'll Always Love You - Taylor Dayne 5. He's the D.J.,I'm the Rapper - D.J. Jazzy Jeff Terre Haute, IN 47803. Phone 812 877-1511 ext. 255. 6. When It's Love - Van Halen & The Fresh Prince New Edition 6. Faith - George Michael Editor Steve Ufheil 7. If It Isn't Love - 8. Nobody's Fool - Kenny Loggins 7. OU812 - Van Halen News Editor P.J. Hinton 9. Love Bites - Def Leppard 8. Open Up and Say Ahh! - Poison 10. It Would Take a Strong Strong Man - Rick 9. Richard Marx - Richard Marx Sports Editor Clark Pentico Astley 10. Long Cold Winter - Cinderella 11. One Good Woman - Peter Cetera 11. Small World - Huey Lewis & The News Humor Editor Ron Dippold 12. Another Part of Me - Michael Jackson 12. Cocktail - Soundtrack Photo Editor Christian Schuler 13. Monkey - George Michael 13. Heavy Nova - Robert Palmer 14. I Hate Myself For Loving You - Joan Jett and 14. Dirty Dancing - Soundtrack Advertising Steve Ufheil the Blackhearts 15. Kick - INXS 15. Don't Be Cruel - Cheap Trick 16. Let it Loose - Gloria Estafan & Miami Sound Business Manager Scott Kirkpatrick 16. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman Machine - Cheap Trick Reporters P.J. Hinton, 17. A Nightmare On My Street - D.J. Jazzy Jeff 17. Lap of Luxury & The Fresh Prince 18. Heart Break - New Edition Jeff Valput, Keith Miller, Ray Urbanic, Craig Stucky 18. Please Don't Go Girl - New Kids on the Block 19. Reg Strikes Back - Elton John Red Wine - UB40 20. Simple Pleasures - Bobby McFerrin Ron Dippold 19. Red. Columnist 20. Don't Be Cruel - Bobby Brown Sportswriters Dan Braker, Cary Gerber, Ray Urbanic Tim Mulzer Photographers COUPON! • OPEN TIL 9 Chris Sloffer, Joe Forler, Matt Morris, Tim Marling THE HAIR JUNCTION 1 Style Cut Layout The Editors 1737 N. 3rd • Amada Plaza Layer & Feathered Piker 232-7375 Adviser David '5.50 S600 REG. $6.50 The Rose Thorn welcomes letters or comments from HAIR CUTS... Zrij Expires 9-30-88 readers. Articles. ideas. and announcements are also we reserve the -.:- His N Hers desired. In view of length constraints. :'.444811 (Reg. S34.95 & Up) right to limit the lengths of comments and use excerpts PERMS Hairstyling World from letters. All submitted material must be signed. All 1140 S. 25th 232-0631 64 ALSO STUDENT DISCOUNTS Minutes from Campus material should be submitted at least one week prior to ON ALL OTHER SERVICES Ne match all tan ads - bring them in publication. exclusiveiy 41! Tans S2.75 per session COUPON PAGE 3 FRIDAY, SEPT. 16,1988 ROSE THORN Sports Engineers outplay Hanover

by Ray Urbanic game to junior split end Brian What began as an offensive bat- Bartley. Another favorite target tle ended in a defensive struggle for Duff was flanker Ed Huonder, last Saturday as the Rosd-Hulman who grabbed eight passes for 108 football team defeated stubborn yards. By the end of the first half, Hanover, 33-27. The win not only the score was tied at 24-24. was the Engineers' first of the 1988 season, but also reestab- In the second half, the En- lished the confidence of the entire gineers'defense kicked in, allow- team. ing Hanover only three points the rest of the game. Pat Speth, the "We knew that the Hanover sophomore defensive back for game would be a test of our team's Rose. led the defensive effort with character," commented Coach 13 tackles (11 unassisted), one Scott Duncan. "The fact that we sack, and two of the five intercep- came from behind four times and tions the Engineers had overall. won the game proves this team does not take winning for The most impressive defensive granted." series for the Engineers came after a 14-yard touchdown run by The game was especially fullback Neal Rumsey. giving memorable for Jason Duff, the Rose a six-point lead with 1:39 Engineers' senior quarterback, remaining in the game. Hanover who reached the 4,000 yard mile- managed to drive down to Rose's stone for career yards passing own 8-yard line, but were stuffed with an outstanding performance. when trying to convert a three- Duff completed 27 of 43 passes for yard fourth down play, giving the 333 yards, including two touch- Engineers the win. down tosses for 12 and 34 yards. This increases Duff's career to- Coach Duncan had this to say past 4,000 career passing yards. tals to 4,283 passing yards, 360 about the Engineers' defense: Jason Duff leads the offense and takes himself pass completions. 663 pass "Our defense played well against attempts, and 34 touchdown a team that is known for being passes (all school records). among the nation's leaders each gineers will play during the 19138 year offensively. In the second regular season. The Engineers were able to half we held them to a 35-yard score consistantly throughout the field goal. But the big factor was The largest problem Rose will Sign up first half, keeping pace with we made them earn every score." face when playing against Hanover's explosive offense, Washington is the expansive ranked one of the best among Rose-Hulman will meet offense the Bears tend to play. September 20 or 21 NCAA Division IT teams. An im- Washington University of St. Coach Duncan comments, portant factor in Rose's offense Louis for the first home game of "Washington University uses was the reestablished running the season at 1:30 p.m. at Phil more different offensive forma- to talk game, with tailback Tony Broad- Brown Field. The Engineers are tions than any team we'll play this nax gaining 71 of Rose's 120 total riding on a six-home game win- year. It's unusual to see a team Instruments rushing yards on 16 carries. Duff ning streak, not losing since the use the option and the pass as with Texas took his usual leading role behind 1986 season against Olivet Col- much as they do." the line, throwing both of his lege. Saturday's game will be only technical managers. touchdown passes early in the one of three home games the En- Have a Happy Day! rrexas Instruments technical managers want to 1 see you. They want to tell you at)out the job Harriers win invitational opportunities with our Defense Systems & Elec- tronics Group. by Dan Braker of 22:00, Frank Visingardi, ninth addition to senior Marty Kirk- Rose-Hulman's harriers came in 22:11, and Brian Moench, tenth wood, who sat out the past year Technological Leadership Texas Instruments is a away with a victory over eight in 22:11. but was a stong runner as a sopho- world leader in military electronics. We design, teams in the Bellarmine Invite. Coach Welch had some positive more. Rose will have two weeks to develop and produce complex defense electronics The cross country team competed statements about the meet. "It is prepare for the meet, which in the four mile race on the cam- very good to have a win. The 4th promises to be very close and equipment and systems, covering a broad spec- pus of Bellarmine College in competitive. trum of technological and manufacturing capabili- Louisville, Kentucky on Saturday Team Results ties. We're committed to a variety of programs that September 10. Rose-Hulman 1. Rose-Hulman 31, 2. Bel- stretch into the 1990s and beyond. scored 31 points with the top five Coach Welch, "It's larmine 70, 3. Northern Kentucky runners on the team placing in the very good to have a 70, Vincennes No. 1 103, Hanover Campus Interviews That's why our managers will top ten in the meet. Bellarmine 114, Wilmington 164, Vincennes be at Rose-Hulman conducting interviews on College placed second with 70 win." No. 2 181, Franklin 208. points and Northern Kentucky October 4 and 5. We're looking for talented individ- University was third with 71 uals to join us in our commitment. This is your points. team are doing opportunity to talk with key engineers and man- Rose freshman Chris Wilson and 5th men on the gap." came away with an individual vic- a better job of closing the agers about programs in: freshman tory with a time of 21:09.6. Wilson Welch stated about the pleased that • Mis.sile Guidance Systems ran the entire race in a heated on the team, "I am contributing dual with Dennis Jessie of Bel- they are already •Advanced Radar Systems larmine College, finally pulling strongly to the team." • Electro-optks .S:vstems away with the win in the last 200 • Communk-atiOns, Navigatkoi and InPlhgence meters. On September 24 the harriers Sy.stems Other top runners for Rose- run against their long time rival Hulman were Jason Lueking, Wabash College at Wabash. •Electronk . Warfare fourth overall with a time of 21:51. Wabash will be bringing back •Advanced Conwonent. Sensor Processing and Greg Dixson, seventh with a time seven runners from last year, in Software Development

Sign u,p for Interviews If you're looking for a ltlal - Soccer wins one, drops two lenging opportunity where you can work at Mc forefront of tociay's innovative techn()logies be by Cary Gerber final score read 1-0. )ctobui This past week proved to be a The following day,coach Ruark sure to sign up September 20 or 21 tor an ( busy one for Rose in soccer. On and team had another IIAC match 4 or 5 interview with Texa.s Instruments Wednesday, September 7, De- at Blackburn. Rose shut down the A Man's Gotta Do Pauw came here for an Illinois- Blackburn team. One goal was What A Man's For more information, contact your campus Place- Indiana Athletic Conference made, by Dan Palazzolo, assisted ment Office. Or, you may write our College slatting match. Rose, playing against the by Willie Daffron. The shutout Gotta Do Manager at: PO. Box 660246 M.S. 3186-RH 1)allas third placed team in the midwest was recorded by freshman Tom Texa.s 75266. region, lost 1-7. Our goal was Brown of Terre Haute. In the end, All young men have made by Dan Palazzolo, who was the scoreboard read 1-0, in Rose's one responsibility in An Equal Opportunity assisted by Jeremy Steele. favor. common. They have to Empkwer M F.' V H On Saturday, September 10, Rose's record stands at 1-4, Rose left for MacMurray College three games being IIAC matches. register with Selcctivu for another IIAC match. Our soc- The next game is at Rhodes Col- Scrvice 30 LlAys cer team kept MacMurray at bay lege on Saturday, September 17. 18111 birthday // 's until the fith minute of play, when Just to let you ALL know out thcir TEXAS MacMurray made their one and there, the next home game is on quick. 11's eas.v .111(111'.c only point. Unfortunately, Rose Friday, September 23 against Mc Icily. was unable to make a goal. Principia College at 3:30 p.m. Let INSTRUMENTS Throughout the game neither us show our support by going to publit- ,c1 team generated any offenses. The the games! •,:lck live k e PAGE 4 ROSE THORN FRIDAY, SEPT. 16, 1988

Humor

Scientific breakthrough BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed PRF7Y IN5IPERt HUOTIC PECIPC HOW 86-5'TE HANOI,'" ht9W gar TH45: Wt." THE 6155 OtSP 771EIP CAN!, - APPEAL 7 THE mATURITY Science was made last week at Rosem-Hosem as the OPTE'5 P.95, PRI?'" IIVIIPANCE 0, THE AMERCAN VOTER — — Ri/9 AP91?655 77k, 1,55VE" WITH Chemistry department, under heavy funding from SBA, OKAY THCA. wE LIE PAWNING managed to isolate and completely define the structure Of5rOPT kar 7HROK' GAHM, . of the most elusive of the elements: women. Research &Mt:" was begun after it was discovered that 60`A of all fresh- men at Rosem were not aware of the existence of this element. ,p 88 - CHEM111 Sun Sep 10, 1988 8:22 PM Subject: Chemical Analysis of Women cti.^acc YES f3ILL JOINEr THE CANA- DIAN NRTIOVAL Avasc MOW11E5- WHY, THERE WERE R5 ANOTHER orar Element: Woman IN 196A ARE MG 5o6,66517NE, M905E ENEM/E5 ALL WARRIOR ONCE 5410, Symbol: Wo 71-1A7 rH,,5 WAS A HYPOCR177CAL AROf./M7 NCI M005E WE MR:, ge Acr FOR F HAWKISH COMMIE MOOSE WR5.. PEEP PX-000 Discovered by: Adam RIGHT-WINGER r YOU KNOW _

1. Atomic Weight: r a) Average expected at 118 but there are known iso- topes ranging from 100 to 160, with highly radioac- tive occurrences at 250 and better (Caution: Avoid N<.`", at all costs, may be fatal). 2. Occurrence: a ) Surplus quantities in all urban areas. 3. Chemical Properties: If, THERE ANYTY/N6 WE a) Possesses a considerable affinity for Gold, Silver, 5,ILL L/STEN' OVERLOOKE9 THR7- Platinum, precious and semi-precious gems and ; ARE 'THERE ANY MoRE WOULD KEEP YOU ( 5ffaeroN5 YOUR: AD," BE/16 RN minerals. ::LOSE7 ERAEC77VE b) Capable of absorbing great quantities of costly ArESIOEiVr substances. c ) Insoluable in liquids, but activity greatly in- creases with saturation in Ethanol. d) Yields to pressure if applied correctly. 4. Physical Properties: a) Surface very smooth with many interesting irregularities usually selectively covered with colorful films. 'RONALP ANN KNOW5 b) Boils at nothing. F BETTER YEAR 15 WOW, HOPE c) Freezes for no reason. THE CORNER %CRUSE" HARMONY. /r5 LW THE- wfivr HAPPINE55.. d) Melts if treated properly. LIKE PETRUME HERRING HEAPS e) Bitter if treated incorrectly. L f) Found in various states in nature, ranging from virgin metal to common ore. g) Driving habits may be hazardous to public proper- ties. h) Selective specimens have pleasant aroma. i) Warm to the touch. Capable of warming other ob- ject if held close. Caution: Beware over-heating! 5. Uses: a) Highly ornamental. b) Most powerful reducing agent of currency known. 604IE WHAr',5 71/ERP', f c) Can aid in relaxation. 41/WE YOU FEEL CORSE Z.,07-st YegiH FEE— wr 4904/7" THAN THINGS LIKE BETT6R KNOW HOK d) Some compounds capable of brightening the day. !..10URSEL.1 SMELLING LIKE WORSE: 74A7- 6. Tests: HERROIC- OP1/,' WHR77 5MEL—S PONT a) Pure specimens turn red when discovered in their HEAPS P WE r natural state. r— b) Turns bright green if placed beside a better specimen. c) Becomes coy when confronted with the truth. ) 7. Cautions: a) Highly dangerous in inexperienced hands. b) Highly dangerous to possess more than one at a W5.116- ICARP THR.- THERE HERE 77-1/5 111/5E r time. AR.E 605/f/ifferr,‘ baht, 1f2t./ MERV LIKE. BENIN, c) Spontaneous outbursts may cause ear damage. Ps it, HOGIE WC* 77Ele WALLf 02z,;-- I1NOLVE AN ANIMAL BEING RNOsvIN5. 7 d) Known for rendering telephones into melted slag. rre.mar 1..5`` NA"' 144'05515LE ) 7.-T e) Affinity for rolling pins. - 41/./GL' GO PRY ;

' TA. 1

jpk, PASS ALONG AN HEIRLOOM MORE VALUAI3LE THAN GOLO. kv`tik-.4v Lt SOT LIFE. • .77 .RESEARL.*H When you Make be- REIVL'aTVN,4..?1 NO' .'.:,..7-77-PRE APE SE1r1,'; 7H:7-GSA— rE5 LAE.: quest to thc American - WHAT ARE , r' (NPERAR,- wr'LL'L Rf voc 90INC- 441: , Af 50:/t.7.— • 7,0E., Se, 47.7r 5/41i.Ar Ileart Association, 1' IN ME E1'7RA..7. gi PPM/EP A7tOe' 5.5iVe'rsf) you're passing along 1 ,54SEMEr 7 61.7"16 5/&407:044.7.7. RRON A :A— FEL-I4E SWEA- precious legacy. The • gift of life. That's because your contribution supports reseamh that could SAW. your - ' descendants from 'America's • .‘• • number one killer. , •

'lb learn more about the Planned Giving

Program, C411 us today. It's the first step in ee.5 making a memory that lasts beyond a lifetime. ISI gWER77NG ,

WE'RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE Th4. V American Heart Association

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