LET YOUR HAIR DOWN, RAPUNZEL by KAREN BOETTCHER-TATE Music and Lyrics by SCOTT Deturk CAST of CHARACTERS (In Order of Appearance) # of Lines WALT SHWARTZBUCKLE

LET YOUR HAIR DOWN, RAPUNZEL By KAREN BOETTCHER-TATE Music and Lyrics by SCOTT DeTURK CAST OF CHARACTERS (In Order of Appearance) # of lines WALT SHWARTZBUCKLE...... father of Rapunzel, a nice guy 83 RENE SHWARTZBUCKLE...... his perky wife 61 THE GLUMPWARTS...... the witch’s diabolical henchmen, 23 weird, slimy and disgusting WITCH IZWITCH ...... a typical old crone, mean and 63 nasty KING ZEEK FURADAY...... friendly and competent 42 QUEEN PETUNIA FURADAY....his wife, a bit scatterbrained 21 PRINCE BUMPUS...... their son, a Mr. Universe wannabe 9 PRINCE MARKIE...... another son, a financial wizard 6 PRINCE LLEWELLYN...... their myopic nerdy son with a 58 genius for science RAPUNZEL SHWARTZBUCKLE...... beautiful but feisty 73 PARSLEY...... one of three sages. Goofy- 11 looking, brilliant, not practical ROSEMARY...... another 9 THYME...... another 11 SIR SQUASHLY...... one of three knights. Handsome, 5 brave and true, but lacking intelligence SIR NORT...... another 5 SIR NASEUM...... another 4 SAM...... one of three jesters. Completely 12 cuckoo CRAM...... another 10 SPAM...... another 13 OPTIONAL EXTRAS...... attendants SYNOPSIS OF SCENES Scene One: Home of Walter and Rene Shwartzbuckle Scene Two: Castle of King and Queen Furaday. Eighteen years later Scene Three: Home of Walter and Rene Shwartzbuckle Scene Four: Castle of King and Queen Furaday Scene Five: Deep, dark forest SEQUENCE OF MUSICAL NUMBERS MC 1 Let Your Hair Down...... Company MC 2 When You Gotta Have It...... Rene, Walt MC 2a When You Gotta Have It (Reprise)...... Witch, Glumpwarts MC3 The Royal Family...... King Queen, Bumpus, Markie, Llewellyn MC 4 Sweet Sixteen...... Walt, Rene, Rapunzel MC 4a When You Gotta Have It (Reprise)...... Witch, Glumpwarts MC 5 I Always Dreamed...... Llewellyn, Sages, Knights, Jesters MC 5a I Always Dreamed...... Instrumental MC 6 Love at First Sight...... Llewellyn, Rapunzel MC 7 I’m a Nut...... Jesters MC 8 Just Because You’re Different...... Rapunzel, Llewellyn, Witch, Glumpwarts MC 8a Let Your Hair Down (Reprise)...... Company

For preview only LET YOUR HAIR DOWN, RAPUNZEL Scene One TIME: Anytime—past, present or future. PLACE: The Kingdom of Ain’t, at the home of WALT and RENE SHWARTZBUCKLE. AT RISE: The COMPANY is arrayed across the apron in front of the grand drape. If there is no curtain, it may be played before the tower set, which is masked. WALT, RENE and RAPUNZEL are STAGE RIGHT. The KING, QUEEN and PRINCES are STAGE CENTER and the KNIGHTS, SAGES, JESTERS, WITCH, and GLUMPWARTS are STAGE LEFT. A small stool is behind the COMPANY STAGE RIGHT. On the stool is the kingdom’s daily newspaper, the “Ain’t Right.” MUSIC CUE 1: “Let Your Hair Down.” JESTERS: (Sing.) You can be a joker. KING: (Sings.) You can be a king. RENE/QUEEN: (Sing.) You can be the mother of a difficult, young thing. KNIGHTS: (Sing.) You can be a hero. LEW: (Sings.) You can be a nerd. SAGES: (Sing.) You can give the best advice the world has ever heard. WALT/RENE/RAPUNZEL: (Sing.) But when your life gets too serious, COMPANY: (Sings) Oooh. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) The smallest task is a chore. COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. KING/QUEEN/PRINCES: (Sing.) All the stress makes you delirious. COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. KNIGHTS/SAGES/JESTERS: (Sing.) Suddenly you’ve become a bore. COMPANY: (Sings.) It’s time to let your hair down, Have a little fun, Put a smile on your face, Chase the blues on the run. Let your hair down, Kickin’ up your heels, Nothin’ like a good laugh, (ALL laugh.) You’re gonna love how it feels. RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) You can be a beauty. For preview only GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) You can be a troll. WALT: (Sings.) You can be a father who has dug himself a hole. BUMPUS: (Sings.) You can have the muscle. MARKIE: (Sings.) You can have the brain. WITCH: (Sings.) You can have the power to drive someone else insane. WALT/RENE/RAPUNZEL: (Sing.) But when your life gets too serious, COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) One little glitch and you scream. (ALL scream.) KING/QUEEN/PRINCES: (Sing.) Before you know it, you’re furious, COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. KNIGHTS/SAGES/JESTERS: (Sing.) And your life is one big, bad dream. COMPANY: (Sings.) It’s time to let your hair down, Have a little fun, Put a smile on your face, Chase the blues on the run. Let your hair down, Kickin’ up your heels, Get a little silly, Nothin’ else appeals, Nothin’ like a good laugh, (ALL laugh.) You’re gonna love how it feels. (ALL EXIT DOWN RIGHT and DOWN LEFT except for WALT and RENE. WALT moves to the stool, picks up the newspaper, sits and reads it. His wife, RENE, paces back and forth, slightly UPSTAGE and to the LEFT of him. She sighs on occasion, moans, wrings her hands and generally looks distraught. WALT notices the audience and folds up the newspaper.) WALT: (At end of song.) Oh, hello! Nice to see you. Welcome to our home. My name is Walter Shwartzbuckle, and that’s my wife, Rene. (RENE moans loudly. She’s very agitated.) Just a minute... (He snaps his fingers, and RENE freezes.) There, that’s better! You can do that kind of stuff in a fairy tale, you know! See, I’ll show you. (He snaps his fingers, and RENE comes to life, moans, etc., then he snaps them again and she freezes.) Neat, huh? Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, we’re the Shwartzbuckles, and this is the Kingdom of Ain’t. Actually, it’s Isn’t, not Ain’t, but that’s another story, isn’t it? It’s a beautiful kingdom, ruled by King Furaday and Queen Furaday. We are For preview only quite prosperous here. Crops are good, great schools, stocks are up. Yep, everything is about as good as it gets... well, except for one little tiny thing... the old hag... I mean, old bat... I mean... witch who lives next door. But, enough of this. You’ll find out in a bit. Let’s get on with the story! (He snaps his fingers, action resumes, RENE paces. He goes back to his newspaper.) RENE: Oh, my! Oh, dear! Oh, woe is me! Oh, remorse and agitation! WALT: (Looking up from his newspaper.) Rene Shwartzbuckle, what on earth is the matter? RENE: (Looking OFF LEFT.) Oh, lackaday, I can see the witch’s garden. WALT: And? RENE: I can’t stand it. I shall go mad. WALT: Then don’t look. The weeds aren’t that bad. RENE: No, husband, no. It’s... it’s... the rampion! WALT: The who? RENE: Rampion! Beautiful succulent rampion! I must have some! I must! I must! WALT: What the devil is rampion? RENE: Rapunzel. WALT: Huh? RENE: It’s also called rapunzel. I have to have some! I have to! WALT: What’s rapunzel? RENE: It’s like turnips, you booby. Ohhh, ohhh, I can’t stand it. I have to have it! WALT: Settle down. Have some lettuce instead. There’s plenty of that in our garden. RENE: No! I have to have rampion. I must! WALT: (Putting away his newspaper.) I’ll tell you what. I’ll hotfoot it down to the market and pick up some for you. RENE: (Crosses to her husband, grabs him by the shirt front, begins to shake him.) You don’t understand! The witch has a corner on the market. It’s the only rampion growing in the entire kingdom. I have to have some! WALT: I can’t ask her for it. Nobody hangs around with her. I’ve heard some pretty scary stories about her. Just relax. RENE: I can’t relax. I’m obsessed. (MUSIC CUE 2: “When You Gotta Have It.” Sings.) Sometimes when you gotta have it, You gotta have it. For preview only Nothing else will do. Sometimes when you really need it, You really need it, It takes hold of you. Sometimes when you really crave it, You really crave it, You become possessed Until you hold it, touch it, squeeze it, feel it, rub it, smell it, taste it Your mind will never rest. Sometimes when you gotta have it, WALT: (Sings.) You gotta have it? RENE: (Sings.) You can lose control. WALT: (Speaks.) What’s going on here? RENE: (Sings.) Something can be an obsession. WALT: (Sings.) It’s an obsession? RENE: (Sings.) You’d almost sell your soul. WALT: (Speaks.) Don’t say things like that. RENE: (Sings.) Sometimes when it’s so important. WALT: (Sings.) It’s that important? RENE: (Sings.) You can’t get through the day Until you hold it, touch it, squeeze it, feel it, rub it, smell it, taste it You’d throw your life away. WALT: (Sings.) You seem like a total stranger I’ve never met before. Something has deranged your personality. When I look into your eyes now I really can’t ignore Someone kind of crazy staring back at me. Sometimes when you gotta do it, RENE: (Sings.) You gotta do it. WALT: (Sings.) There’s no other choice. Something tells you to get to it. RENE: (Sings.) You must get to it. WALT: (Sings.) It’s like another voice. Isn’t there a substitution? RENE: (Sings.) No substitution Can ever take its place. Until I hold it, touch it, squeeze it, feel it, rub it, smell it, taste it, I’ll be a basket case. (At end of song. Speaks.) Oooo, oooo... (Starts to faint, staggers around, makes odd noises.) For preview only WALT: What is it? RENE: Oh, no. I’m going to faint and drool. I’m going to faint and drool. WALT: What? RENE: I said that I’m going to faint and drool. Faint and drool! WALT: No, no! Anything but that. Don’t faint and drool. Don’t! I’ll go... “borrow” some rampion. Anything so that you don’t faint and drool. It’s so disgusting when you do that. RENE: (Comes to.) Really? You will? Oh, goody, goody! You are wonderful! (She hugs him wildly.) WALT: (Tries to untangle himself from RENE.) I’m sure Ms. Witch won’t mind. I mean... there seems to be so much. And she isn’t around. Just go splash some cold water on your face and I’ll be back in a minute. RENE: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, my knight in shining armor, my little cutie—ootie, my little snookie-ookie, my— WALT: (Shoves her OFFSTAGE RIGHT.) I’ll be back. (RENE EXITS STAGE RIGHT, striking stool OFF RIGHT. LIGHTS DIM.) I hope I don’t regret this. Nobody seems to be around. (He steels himself and tiptoes STAGE LEFT. As he starts to cross, rampion is shoved ONSTAGE, either under the curtain, or from STAGE LEFT, in a container. WALT looks around nervously, perhaps hears EERIE NOISES from OFFSTAGE LEFT. He reaches the rampion, looks around to see that no one is looking, picks it up and sneaks back STAGE RIGHT with it. The LIGHTS COME UP. RENE runs ON from STAGE RIGHT.) RENE: You did it! You did it! Oh, you sweet thing, you! (She jumps up and down, squealing with glee.) WALT: Don’t overact. Here! (He hands her the rampion, and she races OFFSTAGE RIGHT with it, babbling and laughing.) Wow! Doesn’t take much to keep her happy, does it? At least I didn’t have to watch her faint and drool. Well, that wasn’t so bad. Now, maybe life will get back to normal around here. RENE: (Races IN from STAGE RIGHT, wiping her mouth. She is a dynamo of energy, effusive, a “blur,” jumping around.) Oh, Walter Shwartzbuckle, you are the most amazing man in the entire Kingdom of Ain’t, and I ain’t kidding! WALT: It should be Isn’t. RENE: I “isn’t” kidding? That doesn’t sound right. But I must have some more! WALT: You ate it? Already? For preview only RENE: I have an insatiable appetite for rampion. I love it! I adore it! It is my passion! WALT: But I just got you some. Hey, how about some collard greens instead? RENE: I don’t want anything else. I want some more. I have to have some! I demand some! (She falls to the floor and drums her heels. WALT tries to ignore her. When she sees that he is not responding, she gets up, assumes exaggerated pose.) If you don’t get me some more rampion, I’ll... I’ll... I’ll faint and drool. I mean it! Eeeek, ooo, ahhh, I feel a drool coming on. WALT: (Clutches his heart.) No, no! Anything but a faint and drool. Don’t! I’ll get you some more. Pull yourself together. Stop it! RENE: (Suddenly composed.) Oh, you are so sweet. Thank you, thank you, my little sweetie pie. Hurry up! (She violently pushes WALT toward STAGE LEFT, then EXITS STAGE RIGHT.) WALT: (To audience.) Ah, what’s a guy to do? She has this one little fault. But I don’t feel right about sneaking into somebody’s garden and just taking what I want. That isn’t right, even if she is an old witch. (Pause.) I know! I’ll leave an I.O.U. or put it on my Visa card or something. Yes! That way it won’t be stealing. All right! I’ll do it! (The LIGHTS DIM, WALT sneaks STAGE LEFT to WITCH’S garden. At the same time, the GLUMPWARTS begin to ENTER from various points. They are horrid looking critters. They wear strange clothes with tight-fitting hoods. SPOOKY MUSIC can be played for effect. WALT, of course, does not see them. He turns one way, the GLUMPWARTS hide etc. Finally, WALT reaches the rampion, which has been shoved ONSTAGE again. The GLUMPWARTS freeze to see what he will do. To audience.) Well, I guess the coast is clear. I’ll just leave this little I.O.U. (Takes out piece of paper and pen, writes I.O.U., places it near the rampion, then picks up the rampion. No sooner has he done so than the GLUMPWARTS descend upon him. WALT screams.) No, no! You’ve got it all wrong! I’m paying for it! Fair market price! I left my I.O.U.! GLUMPWART 1: Sooo you be a thief! GLUMPWART 2: A weasel! GLUMPWART 3: A ferret! GLUMPWART 4: An ick! WALT: No, you’ve got it wrong. I’m not stealing. I’ll pay. GLUMPWART 1: Can’t pay fer whatcha steal. WALT: I didn’t. My wife... she’ll faint and drool. GLUMPWART 3: We loves drool. For preview only GLUMPWART 2: The more drooly the better. GLUMPWARTS 1 & 4: Eeeeeewwwwe! Yummy! WALT: Please, don’t hurt me! Please! GLUMPWARTS: (Sing-song.) We don’t hear youse. (The GLUMPWARTS begin slow advance on WALT. He is terrified, shaking.) WITCH: (Sweeps ON from STAGE LEFT. She is a very strange witch indeed. She wears a very tight hood, almost like a bathing cap. She snaps her fingers and the scene freezes. She lets out a wonderful cackle. To audience.) Don’tcha jes’ love how that trick works? I could do it ferever an’ never git tired. (She snaps her fingers, the sounds of fear and the movement resume, then snaps them again, and they freeze. Repeats. She laughs crazily.) Don’t take much ta made me happy. Oh, I almost fergot. I’m Witch Izwitch. I own this here rampion patch. In fact, I gots the only rampion in the whole kingdom. (Suddenly very evil.) An’ this here booby will pay. Nobody crosses Izwitch. Nobody! There was this prince who thought he was tougher than me. All I got to say is, seen any frogs around lately? (She laughs insanely.) Now, let’s get back to this little situation. Ready? (She snaps her fingers. Scene resumes. WITCH bellows.) Knock it off, Glumpwarts! (Snaps fingers, action freezes. To audience.) Oh, fergot ta tell ya. Them is me nasty henchmen, the Dread Glumpwarts. Cute little critters, ain’t they? (Snaps fingers, action resumes with GLUMPWARTS closing in on WALT.) I said, knock it off! (GLUMPWARTS stop pursuit.) WALT: Who are you? WITCH: Izwitch is the name. Witch Izwitch. WALT: I don’t know. WITCH: Huh? WALT: Which is which? WITCH: No, no, you noodle noggin’. I’m Witch Izwitch! WALT: You is which? WITCH: Enough! WALT: Sorry. WITCH: So, you’re determined to cop me rampion, huh? WALT: No, I wasn’t going to steal. My wife... you see... she said she’d faint and— (GLUMPWARTS clap and cheer. Shouts of “We love drool,” “Yeah for drool,” etc.) WITCH: Looks like you was stealin’ ta me.

For preview only WALT: No! I left an I.O.U. I’ll be glad to pay. Nobody was around and I— WITCH: Button yer lip, sucker! So, you decided to defy the law, cowboy, an’ git yerself some cheap rampion. WALT: I told you. It was for my wife. She’s really a very nice person, but sometimes she gets a little carried away. She saw your beautiful garden, and something just snapped. She was obsessed with the rampion. Uh... you’re a very good gardener. WITCH: (Suddenly very sweet and congenial.) Hey, you knows a good thing when ya sees it. Well, well, well. Maybe I could spare a little bit. In fact, seems ta me, you is so honest, I mean with yer I.O.U. an’ all, that I is gonna give you as much rampion as ya want. WALT: Really? I’ll be more than happy to pay for— WITCH: Nope! Don’t have ta pay. It’ll be free... fer as long as ya wants it. (GLUMPWARTS begin to make rumblings. WITCH turns on them.) Button it up! (GLUMPWARTS are silent.) So, go on, take as much as ya want. What did ya say yer name was? WALT: I didn’t. It’s Walter. Walter Shwartzbuckle. WITCH: Shwartzbuckle? Geez, and I thought Izwitch was bad. Well, Walt, help yourself. Anytime. Anytime at all. WALT: Really? WITCH: I ain’t foolin’. It’s yers. Fer life! WALT: Gosh, I don’t believe it! Everybody said that you were a horrible old... (He catches himself.) WITCH: Yesssssss? WALT: A... a really nice gal! WITCH: Well, whatcha waitin’ fer? Git on home with it. WALT: I’ll... I’ll make this up to you. I mean it. We’ll have you over for hamburgers or something. Honest. (He picks up the rampion.) Thanks. Thanks a million. (WALT starts to EXIT STAGE RIGHT.) WITCH: Oh! Jes’ one thing. WALT: Sure, anything. WITCH: You kin fergit about yer I.O.U. I’ll take somethin’ a little further down the line. WALT: (Happy.) You just name it. It’s a done deal. WITCH: In payment fer the rampion here... jes’ a little favor. I want yer first-born daughter when she’s sixteen! WALT: Huh? No, no, I don’t think so. How about ten bucks?

For preview only WITCH: That’s the deal, snookie. Yer first-born daughter. When she grows ta 16. WALT: That’s just plain stupid. Nobody would do such a thing. Nobody would— (The GLUMPWARTS advance on WALT. They are terrifying. WALT is a mess. His life is on the line.) Okay! Okay! Just call off your ghouls. WITCH: Back off, Glumpwarts! (They do.) Now don’t fergit. I never fergit. WALT: Sure, sure. I— (WITCH snaps her fingers and WALT freezes. MUSIC CUE 2a: “When You Gotta Have It—Reprise.”) WITCH: (Sings.) Sometimes when you gotta have it, GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) You gotta have it. WITCH: (Sings.) You can lose control. Something can be an obsession. GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) It’s an obsession. WITCH: (Sings.) You’d almost sell your soul. Sometimes when it’s so important, GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) It’s that important. WITCH: (Sings.) You can’t get through the day Until you hold it, touch it, squeeze it, feel it, rub it, smell it, taste it. You’d throw your life away. (At end of song. WITCH snaps her fingers and WALT comes out of freeze. WITCH and GLUMPWARTS disappear OFFSTAGE in various directions. LIGHTS FLASH. THUNDER. WALT cowers. LIGHTS COME UP and WALT continues STAGE RIGHT with rampion. To audience.) You know, that was pretty terrifying. But I don’t think she meant it. Well, I can’t worry about that now. (He moves STAGE RIGHT.) Rene! Mrs. Shwartzbuckle! Wife! Hello! I got it! RENE: (Races ON STAGE RIGHT. She is very excited.) Husband, husband, Walty-poo, did you get it? WALT: Yes, my love. Here it is. RENE: I love it! I love you. I’ll go eat it right now. (RENE takes rampion, and starts to EXIT STAGE RIGHT.) WALT: Just one minute, my little cupcake. RENE: What? WALT: I tried to pay for it, but the witch wouldn’t take any money. RENE: Really? WALT: And she said that we could have as much as we wanted for the rest of our lives. For preview only RENE: (Jumping up and down.) Goody, goody! Oh, Walty, Walty, Walty! You make me so happy! (She starts to EXIT STAGE RIGHT.) WALT: Wait! There’s a little catch. RENE: What do you mean? WALT: She said we could have all we want, free of charge, but... but... RENE: But what? WALT: We have to give her our first-born daughter when she reaches the age of 16. RENE: What? WALT: I had to say okay, or they would have smooshed me. RENE: We don’t even have a daughter! WALT: I know. RENE: Then it’s okay. Besides, 16 years is a long time. Nobody will even remember. (RENE skips toward STAGE RIGHT.) In the meantime we’ll have all the rampion we could ever dream of. Oh, joy and rapture. I will never faint and drool again. (She EXITS STAGE RIGHT.) WALT: (To audience.) Why do I feel something awful is going to happen? Oh, well. Guess we’re having rampion for dinner. And no faint or drool in sight. That’s the best part. Hey, see you later. I think the plot is developing. (BLACKOUT.) End of Scene One Scene Two TIME: 18 years later. PLACE: The castle of KING and QUEEN FURADAY. LIGHTS UP: KING and QUEEN ENTER from HOUSE, UP AISLE CENTER, and onto apron. They wave, shake hands with subjects in the audience. They are your basic, run-of-the-mill royalty, gracious, regal, if a bit cuckoo. Their three sons, BUMPUS, MARKIE and LLEWELLYN, ENTER from STAGE LEFT and engage in their various activities. BUMPUS and MARKIE move STAGE RIGHT; LEW seats himself on LEFT side of apron. BUMPUS is quite handsome and is a body builder. He works out with a barbell weighing “1000 lbs.” MARKIE is the financial genius. He carries papers, a pen and a cellular phone, and his pockets bulge with money. LLEWELLYN is the nerd of the group and also the brightest. He sits on the edge of the stage, working on his latest scientific project, growing hair on an egg. He wears huge glasses and is the For preview only picture of concentration. MUSIC CUE 3: “The Royal Family.” As the KING and QUEEN approach the apron, QUEEN crosses to BUMPUS and MARKIE STAGE RIGHT and hugs them. LEW stands, ready to greet his mother, but she ignores him. LEW tries to get her attention to no avail. ROYAL FAMILY: (Sings.) We are the royal family. A very loving clan you see. Related to the heads of state In kingdoms far and near. We are the royal family, Society’s anomaly, We’re bonded by a bloodline Getting thicker by the year. KING: (Sings.) My wife’s also my aunt. Sister to Father’s seventh bride, Which makes our sons her nephews And my cousins on her side. QUEEN: (Sings.) To some it seems confusing But it’s done to simplify. It cuts in half the shopping For the gifts we all must buy. (Speaks to BUMPUS.) So, Bumpus, what did you give your handsome cousin for his birthday? BUMPUS: (Speaks.) Well, I bought him, who is actually me, this beautiful tie. Don’t you just love it, Auntie Mum? ROYAL FAMILY: (Sings.) We are the royal family. We’re passing down our lunacy. With every generation growing Stranger than the last. We are the royal family, A legacy of oddity. With each idiosyncrasy Our weirdness unsurpassed. BUMPUS: (Sings.) There’s Uncle Duke Outlandish, Loves to gamble, truth or dare, He’s always losing, now he’s Ruling in his underwear. MARKIE: (Sings.) And then there’s Cousin Dipsy, Baroness of County Loon, She loves her hound so She’s been found, low, howling at the moon. (On hands and knees, howls like a dog.) For preview only KING: (Sings.) We’re born outrageous, QUEEN: (Sings.) It’s contagious, KING/QUEEN: (Sing.) Screwy through and through. BUMPUS: (Sings.) We’re all frenetic, MARKIE: (Sings.) It’s genetic, ROYAL FAMILY: (Sings.) It’s what we nobility do. We are the royal family. We’ve carved our niche in history. The most bizarre gentility To ever take the throne. We are the royal family With one unanswered mystery— How do we keep our crowns When we’re all crazy to the bone? KING: (At end of song. QUEEN stands next to BUMPUS and MARKIE, chattering happily. LEW sits with his project on the left side of the apron. To audience.) Hello, I’m King Zeek Furaday, and I want to welcome you to... (Annoyed by QUEEN’S chatter.) Just a minute. (Snaps his fingers, and the action freezes.) I’m always amazed at how well that works. Let’s see, where was I... oh, right, I’m King Furaday. No, not just for a day. “Furaday,” that’s my name. You can call me King. Well, 18 years have passed since Walt Shwartzbuckle stole into Witch Izwitch’s rampion garden. Doesn’t time pass quickly when you’re having fun? My wife, Petunia, and I have been ruling the Kingdom of Ain’t for a long time now. Actually it should be Isn’t, but, let’s not go into that right now. Petunia and I have some fine sons, Bumpus and Markie... oh, and Llewellyn... Lew for short. Now, Bumpus and Markie will amount to something. Llewellyn, well, let’s just say that he’s a plank short of a floor. (Snaps his fingers, the action resumes. KING turns and crosses STAGE RIGHT to QUEEN, BUMPUS and MARKIE.) Well, well, well, looks like you boys are busy today! BUMPUS: (All the time lifting his barbell.) Right, Pops, got to get in shape for the Mr. Universe contest. QUEEN: Oh, Bumpus, your muscles positively bulge. (BUMPUS sets down barbell and poses. In fact, BUMPUS is always posing, no matter what he does.) KING: Lookin’ good, son. (BUMPUS goes back to pumping iron.) MARKIE: (Speaks into cellular phone, writes down figures.) Right! No, 76,000 shares! Buy, buy, buy! QUEEN: Markie is in the middle of a very big deal. For preview only KING: What’s up? QUEEN: He’s just cornered the market on aglets. KING: Aglets? What the devil are aglets? QUEEN: You know, those hard little plastic whatsits on the end of shoelaces. I’m so proud! KING: Well, I’ll be! Makes you stop and think, doesn’t it? (A moment of silence as all freeze, pose, think. Action resumes. To audience.) So, that’s about it. My sons. You’ll be seeing more of them. LEW: (Tries to get KING’S attention.) Uh, Father... Father... I— KING: Let’s get on with the story. LEW: Mother, Father... excuse me. KING: (Notices LEW.) Huh? Oh! I almost forgot. This is my youngest son, Llewellyn. LEW: (Acknowledges audience.) How do you do? Nice to meet you. KING: (Crosses to LEW STAGE LEFT.) What have you been up to, son? LEW: Actually, I’ve been conducting a fascinating experiment. KING: Really? QUEEN: (Crosses STAGE LEFT to KING and LEW.) What is it, dear? LEW: I’ve concocted a formula that might prove beneficial to mankind, womankind, and perhaps even extend to our four- footed friends who are in the throes of mange. QUEEN: Excuse me? LEW: I have been growing hair on an egg! See? (LEW holds up a hairy egg. KING and QUEEN look at each other and roll their eyes.) Isn’t this remarkable? KING: It’s something all right. QUEEN: Sweet. KING: Only one problem, as I see it. Won’t it shed? I’d hate to get egg hair in my teeth every time I ate breakfast. QUEEN: It’s very, uh, cute, dear. LEW: But, you see— BUMPUS: (Crosses with MARKIE STAGE LEFT. To LEW.) Hey, bro, think you better get back down to the dungeon and come up with something else. LEW: But—

For preview only QUEEN: Now, Bumpus, you know perfectly well we don’t have a dungeon anymore. They went out of style a long time ago. It’s Llewellyn’s lab now. MARKIE: (Smirks.) Looks like something I could make a bundle on. BUMPUS: (Plays along.) You really should invest in it, Markie. LEW: Really? You see, I have all sorts of— BUMPUS: Hey, maybe you could grow hair on my barbells. State of the art. LEW: I don’t think that would— KING: Perhaps you should try something else, Lew. I keep thinking of hairy omelets and hairy custards, not to mention hairy Easter eggs. LEW: But, Father, it’s not exactly a— QUEEN: Enough of this chatter. Come, King. Come, children. It’s time for our spaghettios! Oh, and Lew, dear, take off your glasses. They really don’t do anything for you. You must try to look more princely, my love. LEW: But Mother, I can’t see without— QUEEN: Come, everyone. KING: (Laughs.) No hairy eggs for lunch, I hope. (ALL except LEW start to EXIT STAGE LEFT, laughing about the hairy egg and shaking their heads.) LEW: (Dejected.) They just don’t understand. They never will. Oh, well. (LEW puts egg away and turns to EXIT.) QUEEN’S VOICE: (OFF LEFT.) Lew, dear, the glasses! (LEW sighs, takes off his glasses, gropes his way OFFSTAGE LEFT. BLACKOUT.) End of Scene Two Scene Three TIME: A few days later. PLACE: The home of WALT and RENE SHWARTZBUCKLE. LIGHTS UP: MUSIC CUE 4: “Sweet Sixteen.” RENE ENTERS from STAGE RIGHT, followed by WALT. She is very excited. RENE: (Speaks over music.) Oh, I’m so excited! Our little girl will be 16 years old today. I have planned such a wonderful party. WALT: (Speaks over music.) Doesn’t seem possible, does it? RENE: (Speaks over music.) I think half the kingdom will be here for the party. King and Queen Furaday will be here, and their sons too. WALT: (Speaks over music.) Prince Bumpus and Prince Markie? For preview only RENE: (Speaks over music.) Mmm hmm. Oh, and the other one too. I forget his name. The weird one. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. WALT: (Speaks over music.) What a gal! Yep, yep, yep... it’s going to be a fine celebration! (Sings.) Sweet sixteen, it’s that magical age Turning the page from a girl to a woman. Childhood is past, how’d it happen so fast? Seems like yesterday, she was just a baby. RENE: (Sings.) Sweet sixteen with a mind of her own. Oh, how she’s grown, it’s been something amazing! Sharing the years through her laughter and tears. She’s a bundle of joy, then she’s dating a boy. Where’d the time go in between? Sweet sixteen. (Speaks.) Here she comes now. Oooo, my little sweetie! WALT: (Speaks.) Congratulations, Rapunzel. Happy sweet 16! RAPUNZEL: (ENTERS from RIGHT. She is very pretty and has beautiful hair. She wears large glasses. She is very excited. Speaks.) Thanks. (Sings.) It’s so exciting, my dream’s coming true. A pretty new dress and the perfect hairdo. The party of parties, I’ve lived for this date. I am so eager for that first knock at the door. Please don’t anyone come too late… I can’t wait! WALT/RENE/RAPUNZEL: (Sing.) Sweet sixteen, it is finally here. This is the year, seems like everything’s changing. RENE: (Sings.) Lovely and tall. WALT: (Sings.) She’s my belle of the ball. RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) No more climbing in trees, No more skinning my knees. WALT/RENE/RAPUNZEL: (Sing.) Just the perfect beauty queen. Sweet sixteen. RENE: (At end of song.) You look beautiful! Just beautiful! Oh, but darling, you mustn’t wear those glasses. They just don’t go with the outfit. RAPUNZEL: But, Mom, I can’t see without them. RENE: I know, dear, but they detract. Now, let’s just take these off. (She takes off RAPUNZEL’S glasses, gives them to her.) Much better! Who knows, you might catch the eye of one of the princes tonight. (RAPUNZEL is blind as a bat without her For preview only glasses. She starts forward, as if to walk off the edge of the stage.) WALT: (Catches her before she does.) Oops! You just hang onto my arm. I won’t let you walk into anything. RAPUNZEL: Yes, Daddy. RENE: I have the most scrumptious banquet planned. Everything is about ready. RAPUNZEL: What are we having? RENE: Rampion soup, rampion salad, rampion burgers and a huge chocolate rampion cake for dessert. WALT: Your mother’s done it again. RAPUNZEL: Mom, I’m sure it will be wonderful, but couldn’t we have something other than rampion for a change? I mean, fish and chips would be nice. RENE: Oh, it wouldn’t be me! I’m known for my rampion dishes all over the kingdom. It’s my passion. That’s why I named you Rapunzel... another name for rampion, don’t you know. RAPUNZEL: I know, I know. But, sometimes I wish you had named me something else... Susie, or Helen, or even Ralph. Nobody is going to look twice at a girl named Rapunzel Shwartzbuckle. (She starts to put her glasses on again.) RENE: Nonsense. Nobody cares what your name is, especially if they see those beautiful eyes of yours. (RENE removes RAPUNZEL’S glasses once more.) RAPUNZEL: (Sighs.) Yes, Mama. WALT: Our guests will be arriving soon. Let’s see if everything is ready. (They begin to EXIT RIGHT, but, with a FLASH OF LIGHT and a CLAP OF THUNDER, WITCH IZWITCH and the GLUMPWARTS swoop ONTO the stage from STAGE LEFT. The SHWARTZBUCKLES are stunned. WITCH and GLUMPWARTS move toward RAPUNZEL. They admire her hair, her clothes. Hiss and giggle.) RENE: Who are you? WALT: It’s... it’s... WITCH: Happy sweet 16, kid! Heard it was yer birthday. Nice duds. Nice hair. Yer havin’ a good hair day. (WITCH and GLUMPWARTS gurgle and laugh.) RAPUNZEL: (Strains to see them without her glasses.) Excuse me? I… I don’t think we’ve met. WITCH: Yer papa knows us real good, don’tcha, Pops? RENE: Walter, who is this? For preview only WITCH: Izwitch is the name. Witch Izwitch. RENE: I don’t know which is which, that’s what I’m asking you. WALT: No, no, my dear. This is Witch Izwitch... the old bat... I mean, the lady that has been providing you with rampion all these years. RENE: Really? RAPUNZEL: Excuse me, I— (She puts on her glasses, sees the GLUMPWARTS and WITCH for the first time and gives a little shriek. The GLUMPWARTS move in closer. They are fascinated by her hair, touch it, examine it. RAPUNZEL is obviously ill at ease.) GLUMPWART 1: You sure gots beeeeooootiful hairs. GLUMPWART 2: Makes me wanna drool a whole bunch. GLUMPWART 3: I likes you. GLUMPWART 4: Me too. WITCH: Back off, Glumps. Now, what I wants ta know is why I didn’t get me an invite to this here shindig youse is havin’ fer the kid. GLUMPWARTS: Right! RENE: (Flustered, but trying her best.) I didn’t, I mean, I would have, but, I love the rampion, it would be... I forgot. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: Forgot? RENE: I’m terribly sorry. With all the excitement... you know how it goes. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: We do? RENE: Please stay. There will be hundreds of people here. I’m really very sorry. WITCH: Aw, that’s okay. I understand. Things git busy. Ya jes’ fergot. RENE: It’s very kind of you to be so understanding. WALT: (Edges RENE STAGE RIGHT, hissing at her.) Bring Rapunzel. Let’s get out of here. RENE: (Annoyed.) Walter, pleeeeease. Be polite. WALT: You don’t understand. (Grabs RAPUNZEL, tries to pull her OFFSTAGE RIGHT.) Let’s go! (The GLUMPWARTS growl and surround RAPUNZEL, pull her STAGE LEFT.) RAPUNZEL: Let go of me, you lizards! WITCH: Fiesty, ain’t she? RENE: What’s going on? WALT: Let go of Rapunzel this instant! (GLUMPWARTS instantly surround WALT and RENE, threatening them with growls and hisses. They are terrified.) For preview only WITCH: Ain’t you fergittin’ something? RENE: What are you talking about? WITCH: A little deal me an’ yer hubby made... oh, about 18 years ago. RAPUNZEL: What deal? WALT: You can’t expect us to give you our daughter! RENE/RAPUNZEL: What? WITCH: Yes, I can! GLUMPWARTS: She can! WALT: The rampion... don’t you remember? In exchange for the lifetime supply of rampion, we promised her our first-born daughter when she turned 16. RENE: That’s ridiculous! WITCH: Nope, ain’t ridiculous at all, toots. An’ if ya don’t come through with the kid, me Glumpwarts here will smoosh you into a thousand atoms. WALT: (Taking a fighter’s stance.) No! I won’t give you Rapunzel! I’ll punch the daylights out of you, I’ll—(MUSIC CUE 4a: “When You Gotta Have It—Reprise.) WITCH: (Snaps her fingers. Action freezes. Sings.) Sometimes when you gotta have it, GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) You gotta have it. WITCH: (Sings.) You can lose control. Something can be an obsession. GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) It’s an obsession. WITCH: (Sings.) You’d almost sell your soul. Sometimes when it’s so important, GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) It’s that important. WITCH: (Sings.) You can’t get through the day Until you hold it, touch it, squeeze it, feel it, smell it, taste it. You’d throw your life away. ( At end of song. To audience.) I sure hope this guy changes his mind. Me Glumpwarts is tough. This ain’t gonna be a pretty picture. (Snaps fingers. Resume action. GLUMPWARTS advance on WALT, hissing and growling. WALT and RENE are terrified, but stand their ground.) I is takin’ the kid to me tower in the deep, dark forest. You won’t never find her. WALT: (Continuing his ridiculous boxing stance.) I’m warning you! WITCH: Go fer it, Glumps! (GLUMPWARTS move in.)

For preview only RAPUNZEL: Wait! Daddy, don’t be silly. You’ll get hurt. I’ll go with the old bat. I’ll find a way out of this mess. WITCH: Now yer talkin’, kid. Okay, Glumps, leave ’em be. It’s back to the ol’ plantation. Saddle up. (They swirl around the stage, then EXIT STAGE LEFT with RAPUNZEL.) RAPUNZEL: (On EXIT.) Don’t worry! (Sound of THUNDER and LIGHTNING.) RENE: (With WALT, cowers STAGE RIGHT.) My baby! What will we do? We have to rescue her. WALT: The King and Queen! They’ll help us! Hurry! (They race OUT CENTER AISLE, through HOUSE.) Don’t worry, Rapunzel! We’ll save you! (BLACKOUT.) End of Scene Three Scene Four TIME: A bit later. PLACE: Inside the Castle of KING and QUEEN FURADAY. LIGHTS UP: Two thrones are pushed on and placed CENTER. Three KNIGHTS—SIR SQUASHLY, SIR NORT and SIR NASEUM— ENTER STAGE RIGHT and pose on RIGHT side of apron. Three JESTERS—SAM, CRAM and SPAM—ENTER from HOUSE, interacting with the audience. They loll on the front of the apron. Three SAGES—PARSLEY, ROSEMARY and THYME—ENTER from STAGE LEFT and stand on LEFT side of apron. After JESTERS, SAGES and KNIGHTS are in place, the PRINCES ENTER from STAGE RIGHT. BUMPUS and MARKIE stand to the RIGHT of thrones, LEW, wearing his glasses, stands to the LEFT. KING and QUEEN ENTER from HOUSE, CENTER AISLE. They wave to audience, perhaps say a few words to them. As they ENTER, JESTERS rise and move to the LEFT side of apron. KING and QUEEN reach the stage, the QUEEN sits, KING remains standing in front of his throne. KING: I declare this session of the audience with King and Queen Furaday—that’s us—in the Kingdom of Ain’t—should be Isn’t— open... tra, la! Let’s get rollin’ here so we can all go to the Shwartzbuckle’s shindig. ALL: Right! QUEEN: (To LEW.) Lew, dear, the glasses. Pssst, look princely. LEW: Yes, Mother. (Takes them off.) KING: On behalf of my wife, Petunia, and my sons, Bumpus and Markie— (They wave.) I would like to— For preview only LEW: Pssst, Father! Dad! King! KING: (Does not notice him.) Welcome you to our humble abode. Now— LEW: (Snaps his fingers. Action freezes. To audience.) I’m here too. He tends to forget about me. Oh, well. Just wanted to say hi. Hi! (He waves, snaps his fingers and the action resumes.) KING: Let’s get on with it. (Commotion from the back of the HOUSE. WALT and RENE tear up the aisle, CENTER.) RENE: Help! Help! WALT: She took her! You’ve got to help us! KING: Hey, Walt and Rene! Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the big whoopteedo? RENE: It’s our little girl, Rapunzel! KING: Sweet 16 today! Can’t wait for the party. WALT: No, no! You don’t understand! It’s Witch Izwitch! QUEEN: We don’t know which is which. We thought you did. RENE: The witch! The witch with the rampion patch. She took Rapunzel... she... she... (RENE faints, and WALT fans her with RAPUNZEL’S picture. RENE comes to. LEW helps her STAGE LEFT, where he seats her on the edge of stage and pats her hand. The OTHERS buzz with excitement.) KING: The witch kidnapped Rapunzel? WALT: Yes! And she’s locking her up in a tower in the deep, dark forest. ALL: Ooooooo! WALT: And she had a pack of Glumpwarts with her too. ALL: Ooooooo! WALT: We thought you’d know what to do. KING: This is an outrage! Never, in the history of the kingdom, has such a crime been perpetrated. She just swooped in and nabbed her? RENE: (Crosses to the KING.) It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t been such a pig about the rampion. Ohhhh. (She crosses shakily STAGE LEFT and faints again.) ALL: Oooooooo! WALT: No, it was my fault. ALL: Ooooooo! KING: You can tell me later. This is an emergency! I need some volunteers. WALT: Here! It’s her picture. For preview only KING: (Takes picture, looks at it.) Oooo, now I really am steamed! (He passes the picture around. It ends up with LEW. He puts on his glasses, looks at the picture. Love at first sight.) All right! Who’s going to help? LEW: I’ll go, Father. KING: Who is brave enough to undertake this formidable mission? QUEEN: Bumpus will go. He’s so strong and handsome. BUMPUS: Who, me? KING: Good going, son! You can do it! ALL: Hurrah! LEW: I’ll go, Father. BUMPUS: But I can’t miss my workout. The Mr. Universe contest is next month. I can’t let you all down. ALL: Awwww. QUEEN: I know! Markie will go. He’s so smart that he’ll just... just... “intelligence” that old witch to death. MARKIE: Who, me? KING: That’s my boy! LEW: I’ll go, Father. MARKIE: No! I mean, I have this really big deal in the works. I’ve just sunk a bundle into... uh... uh... automatic cherry pitters. Big deal. Can’t go. ALL: Awwww. LEW: Dad! I said I’ll go! (MUSIC CUE 5: “I Always Dreamed.” Snaps his fingers and action freezes. To audience. Speaks.) I just looked at Rapunzel’s picture and have fallen head over heels, madly and passionately in love. I’m not going to wait for permission. I’m going to save her. (Sings.) I always dreamed someday I’d be a hero. I’d be the one to come and save the day. I knew someday I must embrace my fear and go Ahead to face the dragon anyway. No one ever thinks of me as cunning, No one ever looks at me as brave. Everyone expects to see me running away, But I swear that’s not the way I will behave. I fin’lly get the chance to be a hero, To rescue that sweet damsel in distress. Although I’m off into a new frontier I know I will succeed upon my steed With weapon drawn and with God’s speed, For preview only I’ll take her in my arms and she will be… My princess. (MUSIC PAUSES. Speaks.) Hold on, Rapunzel! I’m coming! (Races UP CENTER AISLE. The action is still frozen. He stops halfway UP aisle, races back ON, snaps his fingers and action resumes. MUSIC RESUMES.) QUEEN: (Speaks.) Prince Llewellyn, the glasses! Look princely, dear. Don’t be nerdish. (LEW takes off glasses and stumbles OFF. EVERYONE speaks at once.) KING: (Speaks.) Silence! We have to get together a search party. We have to find that tower. SAGES: (Come forward and Sing. ) We’ve heard your dire need to find a hero. Well, Sire, we have come to heed the call. Our mammoth brains are known both far and near. We’ll show you we’re the most intelligent of all. KING: (Speaks.) Please introduce yourselves. PARSLEY: (Speaks.) I am the Sage Parsley. ROSEMARY: (Speaks.) I am Rosemary. THYME: (Speaks.) I am Thyme. KING: (Speaks.) Aha! Sages Parsley, Rosemary and Thyme. I’ve heard of you. You are the wisest of all people in the kingdom... next to moi... right? SAGES: (Speak.) Right! PARSLEY: (Speaks.) We have concluded that our particular mental gymnastics will be able to decipher the means whereby we shall be able to penetrate the tower and extricate the fair young damsel. THYME: (Speaks.) In other words, for you who do not posess the capabilities to understand our modus operandi, we will devise a plan to extract same from the clutches of that nefarious crone. ALL: (Speak.) Huh? SAGES: (Speak.) We’ll save her! KING: (Speaks.) Wonderful! (SAGES step LEFT.) It’s settled. We shall outfit you for your quest. KNIGHTS: (Step forward.) Wait! (Sing.) We’ve each trained all our life to be the hero, Perfecting every skill of martial art. With bow and arrow, sword and shield or spear we’ll go to battle, Holding chivalry at heart. QUEEN: (Speaks.) These knights are awfully manly, Zeek. For preview only SIR SQUASHLY: (Speaks.) Thank you, we are, thou fair Queen. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Sir Squashly. It was I that was responsible for slaying the eight-headed bandicoot several years ago. These are my compatriots. SIR NORT: (Speaks.) I am Sir Nort, graduate of the Knight School of Fine and Performing Arts. I am at thy service, King Furaday. NASEUM: (Speaks.) And I am Sir Naseum, head of the International Association of Knightmares, mounted division. SIR NORT: (Speaks.) It is our intent to rescue the fair damsel. SAGES: (Speak.) We asked first! SIR SQUASHLY: (Speaks.) These sages are incompetent boobies! SAGES: (Speak indignantly.) We resent that remark! JESTERS: (Speak.) Hold it! (They start running about, doing slapstick sight gags and pratfalls. Sing.) We wanna get in on the fun. We’ll have that “Bitty” on the run. SPAM: (Sings.) She won’t know “witch” end’s up and “witch” end’s down. (Speaks.) Get it? CRAM: (Sings.) We’ll have that old hag laughing so. SAM: (Sings.) She’ll turn to jelly, head to toe. JESTERS: (Sing.) Before you know, she’ll let Rapunzel go. SPAM: (Sings.) We won’t maim her. CRAM: (Sings.) We’ll just tame her. SAM: (Sings.) We’re such good eggs, when we take aim The “yolk” will be on her! (EVERYBODY groans, the JESTERS laugh wildly. Speaks.) Get it? Egg? Yolk? I’m so funny I can’t stand myself. WALT: (Speaks.) Who are these idiots? KING: (Speaks.) Sam, Cram and Spam, the court jesters. We’re trying them out. (To the JESTERS.) Not now, fellas. Let’s go! CRAM: (Speaks.) Let us come, oh, please, please, pretty please with sugar on it? KING: (Speaks.) Oh, all right, we’re wasting time. Let’s all go! SAGES/KNIGHTS/JESTERS: (Sing.) It’s time for each of us to be a hero. We can’t afford one moment of delay. We’ll comb the kingdom, starting now, and here so Thorough… SAGES: (Sing.) We’ll use our intellect so bright, KNIGHTS: (Sing.) We’ll use our skills with all our might, For preview only JESTERS: (Sing.) We’ll have Rapunzel laughing with delight… SAGES/KNIGHTS/JESTERS: (Sing.) We’ll save the day! KING: (At end of song.) We’re wasting time. Let’s go! To the Map Room! Let’s find that tower! (MUSIC CUE 5a: “I Always Dreamed.” ALL EXIT DOWN AISLE CENTER, chattering about the rescue. KING and QUEEN EXIT first, followed by BUMPUS and MARKIE, RENE and WALT, JESTERS, KNIGHTS and SAGES. ATTENDANTS push thrones OFFSTAGE LEFT. MUSIC OUT. BLACKOUT.) End of Scene Four Scene Five TIME: A few days later. PLACE: A spooky part of the deep, dark forest, where the WITCH has built her secret tower. AT RISE: The CURTAIN OPENS to reveal a desolate tower (See PRODUCTION NOTES.) at CENTER STAGE. There is one window at the top of the tower, and RAPUNZEL looks out. She is very unhappy. RAPUNZEL: Oh, woe and phooey! I hate and loathe this place! I wish I was anywhere else. It’s only been three days since Witch Izwitch mewed me up in this blasted tower, and it feels like three years. (Notices audience.) Oh, hello down there. Isn’t this a fine mess? I’ve simply got to figure out some way of escaping. I keep wishing that my mom hadn’t loved rampion so much... but, that was a long time ago. Nobody thought the old witch would follow through on her threat. And I simply couldn’t stand by and watch those scaley little lizards smoosh my dad. Sometimes a girl simply has to act. I’ve always been resourceful. I’ll just have to come up with a plan. (LEW ENTERS from HOUSE CENTER, sneaking along, asking audience members to hide him. He hears her speaking, but can’t really see her because he’s not wearing his glasses. His progress up the aisle is hindered by this.) LEW: Ah, I hear the voice of an angel. It must be Rapunzel. Is it? I can’t tell. (Audience reaction.) I thought so. Where is she? (Audience reaction.) In that tower? I’m on my way. (WITCH and GLUMPWARTS ENTER from LEFT and RIGHT, cackling and carrying on.) Oh, no! I think it’s the witch! I’d better hide. (LEW scurries UP ONTO STAGE and hides himself STAGE RIGHT to watch the proceedings.) WITCH: Ah, my little Rapunzel. You been takin’ yer vitamin E? For preview only RAPUNZEL: Yes! Quit bugging me about it. WITCH: If ya takes the E, yer hair will really grow. RAPUNZEL: What does that matter? WITCH: What does it matter?! Unless your hair reaches the ground, you will always remain a prisoner! RAPUNZEL: I can’t do anything about how fast it grows. WITCH: Well, think it long, toots. RAPUNZEL: I don’t understand. GLUMPWART 1: Dooooo it. GLUMPWART 2: Loooong hair... GLUMPWART 3: Silky... GLUMPWART 4: Mag-nu-ficent hairs. GLUMPWART 1: Go hair, go hair, go! RAPUNZEL: I’m growing as fast as I can. WITCH: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let’s see your long hair. RAPUNZEL: Okay, okay... here! Satisfied? (She shows her hair. It is about waist length at this point. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.] WITCH and GLUMPWARTS drool at its beauty.) You are a very mean individual. WITCH: Thanks, kid. RAPUNZEL: You’ll get yours, Izwitch. What goes around, comes around. Just remember that. GLUMPWART 4: Start growin’ them hairs. GLUMPWART 3: Mmmmmmm. WITCH: An’ don’t even be thinkin’ about tryin’ to escape. There ain’t no way out of that tower. RAPUNZEL: You know what I say to that? WITCH /GLUMPWARTS: What? RAPUNZEL: I say... I say... WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: Yesssss? RAPUNZEL: Oh, go away, and let me grow my hair in peace! WITCH: I think it’s gonna rain. Beeoootiful day for a picnic at the swamp. Come on, boys. We’re outta here. Oh, take off them glasses, kid. Don’t do a thing fer ya. (GLUMPWARTS chatter as they ooze OFFSTAGE LEFT with WITCH. LEW sneaks to base of the tower. RAPUNZEL takes off glasses.) RAPUNZEL: I’ve got to find a way out of here. This is really boring. LEW: Psst, psst, Rapunzel. RAPUNZEL: Who’s there? For preview only LEW: It’s me, Prince Llewellyn Furaday. RAPUNZEL: Who? LEW: Prince Llewellyn. I’ve come to rescue you. RAPUNZEL: Just a minute, I have to put on my glasses. LEW: You wear glasses? RAPUNZEL: It’s not the end of the world. LEW: I know. I know! (Both put on their glasses at the same time, turning away from each other as they do so. When they turn back, it is mutual—love at first sight. They both stagger a bit and clutch their chests. They positively take each other’s breath away.) LEW/RAPUNZEL: Wow! RAPUNZEL: You’re going to rescue me? LEW: Mmm hmmm. RAPUNZEL: There’s no way to get into the tower. No door, no stairs, nada, zip. She said she won’t let me out until my hair grows long enough to touch the ground. LEW: I heard. (MUSIC CUE 6: “Love at First Sight.” RAPUNZEL and LEW remove their glasses again. Speaks.) We have to come up with something. Let me think for a moment. (Goes into “thinking” pose, silent for a moment. Snaps his fingers and RAPUNZEL freezes. Speaks.) She’s even prettier than her picture. I have to make her mine. (Sings.) I never believed in love at first sight. No, not ’til it happened to me. I’m not a “Prince Charming,” I’m not a white knight And I’m not here out of duty. And “happily ever after” is so corny to say, And yet here I sit ’neath this cold-hearted tower Most willing to wait for her Forever and a day. (Snaps his fingers and RAPUNZEL comes to life. He keeps pacing. MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER.) RAPUNZEL: (Speaks.) Well, any ideas? LEW: (Speaks.) Not yet. RAPUNZEL: (Snaps her fingers and LEW freezes. Speaks.) He’s very handsome when he thinks. I think I’m in love. Oh, sigh. (Sings.) I never believed in love at first sight. I think it just happened to me. That dumb Cinderella, that silly Snow White And what about Sleeping Beauty? For preview only I never believed that life could really happen that way. And now here I sit in this cold-hearted tower, A prince at my beck and call And me locked up to stay. (Snaps her fingers and LEW comes back to life.) LEW: (Sings.) There has to be an answer, RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) An answer, LEW: (Sings.) Some magic we can play. RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) Today. RAPUNZEL/LEW: (Sing.) I can’t believe that you’re so close and yet so far away. RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) There has to be an answer, LEW: (Sings.) An answer, RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) A way to set me free, LEW: (Sings.) To me. RAPUNZEL/LEW: (Sing.) It’s somewhere right beneath our noses. We have to solve this mystery. If only we could see. (They both put their glasses back on. Sing in cannon. Snap.) I never believed in love at first sight. I never believed in love at first sight. No, not ‘till it happened to me. No, not ‘till it happened to me. (Sing together.) I’m caught in this fairytale, trying to write An ending to truly suit thee. Now “happily ever after” is so easy to say But here we both sit with this cold-hearted tower, So big and so high and so strong Standing in our way. LEW: ( At end of song. Shouts.) I’ve got it! RAPUNZEL: (Force of his words startles RAPUNZEL. She almost falls.) What? LEW: (Takes bottle out of his lab coat.) Is there any way I can get this up to you? RAPUNZEL: I’d say throw it, but I was never any good at catching. It would probably get smashed. LEW: Can’t risk it. One of a kind. RAPUNZEL: I know! Witch Izwitch sends my food up in this little bucket. Put it in here. (She lets fall a bucket on a rope.) LEW: (To audience.) She’s smart too! (He places bottle in bucket, RAPUNZEL pulls it up.) For preview only RAPUNZEL: (Examines bottle.) What is this stuff? LEW: A new lotion I’ve been working on. It grows hair on eggs. RAPUNZEL: Why would anyone want to eat a hairy egg? LEW: I don’t know. I just figured that if I could grow hair on an egg, I could get it to grow just about anywhere. RAPUNZEL: Do you mean what I think you mean? LEW: Just rub it on your head. I’m sure it will grow. Then, you can let down your hair, I’ll use it for a rope ladder, climb up and rescue you. RAPUNZEL: Wow! This stuff really stinks! LEW: Sorry. RAPUNZEL: Here goes nothing. Hope it works. (Leaves window to apply lotion. Commotion from back of HOUSE. SAGES ENTER and move to stage via CENTER AISLE. LEW hides STAGE RIGHT.) PARSLEY: This way, sages, this way. According to our calculations, the tower should be precisely... where it is! ROSEMARY: We are quite remarkable. I perceive that we are the solitary souls who have identified the site of the tragic en- mewment. THYME: We have the most exceptional brainwaves in the entire universe. PARSLEY: Correct! Now, let us dis-entower said beauty from her lofty prison. ROSEMARY/THYME: Indubitably! (SAGES take one step toward the tower at the same time, then stop. They look at each other, then, single file, walk around the tower, and return to their original positions.) PARSLEY: There are no doors. ROSEMARY: You have correctly assessed the situation. THYME: I concur. PARSLEY: And I concur with your concurring. THYME: Sages, let us put our heads together. (They form a circle and, literally, put their heads together. In the meantime, the KNIGHTS have begun to ENTER from various points, LEFT and RIGHT. They don’t notice the SAGES, who rather resemble an abstract work of art. The KNIGHTS have their swords drawn and are stealthily looking for the enemy. They dodge, turn, stab at shadows, cross closer and closer toward the SAGES. Suddenly, ALL THREE spot the SAGES at once, and they leap forward to confront them.) For preview only SAGES: Eeeek! KNIGHTS: Eeeek! (ALL run OFF in various directions screaming.) LEW: (Pops out of his hiding place. To audience.) Well, that lowered the level. (MUSIC CUE 7: “I’m a Nut.” Speaks.) Oh, no, more visitors. (He hides again. JESTERS ENTER UP CENTER AISLE, sneakily.) SAM: (Sings.) I’m a little filbert round, CRAM: (Sings.) And I never make a sound. SPAM: (Sings.) I am very shy, pray tell, SAM/CRAM/SPAM: (Sing.) Until I come out of my shell. I’m a nut, I’m a nut, I’m a nut! Whoopee! I’m a nut, I’m a nut, I’m a nut! SAM: (MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER. Speaks.) Hey, hey, hey! There’s the tower! CRAM: (Speaks.) Don’t see any witchy-poo-pee-poo. SPAM: (Speaks.) Hey! Why did the witch tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? CRAM/SAM: (Speak.) Why? SPAM: (Speaks.) She didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills! (JESTERS completely crack up at the joke. LEW sticks his head out from his hiding place, make a face at the audience, holds his nose and goes back into hiding.) SAM: (Speaks.) I got one! I got one! How do you keep a witch from smelling? CRAM/SPAM: (Speak.) How? SAM: (Speaks.) Cut off her nose! (Again, the JESTERS are beside themselves with laughter and fall all over each other. LEW again makes an appropriate face.) SAM/CRAM/SPAM: (Sing.) There’s nothin’ half as fun As laughin’ at a pun. The general rule of thumb is The dumber the better! CRAM: (Speaks.) Did you hear the one about the optometrist who fell into the lens grinder? SAM/SPAM: (Speak.) What happened? CRAM: (Speaks.) He made a spectacle of himself! (Wild laughter and acrobatics.) SPAM: (Speaks.) I just thought of something. CRAM/SAM: (Speak.) What?

For preview only SPAM: (Speaks.) If the witch isn’t here, we can’t charm her to death with our funny stories. (ALL three laugh as if this is a tremendous joke.) CRAM/SAM: (Speak.) You’re right! SPAM: (Speaks.) Let’s go home. (The JESTERS laugh their way OUT through the HOUSE. Sings.) I’m a little acorn brown, CRAM: (Sings.) Lying on the cold, cold ground. SAM: (Sings.) People never step on me, ’Cause I’m already cracked you see. SAM/CRAM/SPAM: (Sing.) I’m a nut, I’m a nut, I’m a nut! Whoopee! I’m a nut, I’m a nut, I’m a nut! LEW: (At end of song. Comes out of hiding. To audience.) Those were the sorriest bunch of jokes I’ve ever heard. Where does the king find these people? (He approaches tower.) Rapunzel? Rapunzel? Did it work? RAPUNZEL’S VOICE: (From OFFSTAGE UP CENTER.) This stuff is amazing! Prince Llewellyn, you are brilliant! And cute, too! LEW: Aww. RAPUNZEL: (Appears in window.) My hair must have grown an inch a second! LEW: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair. RAPUNZEL: That is so cute. (RAPUNZEL drops her braids over the side of the tower. They reach to the floor. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.]) LEW: Wow! RAPUNZEL: Okay, come on. Climb up. Rescue me. LEW: (Taking hold of braids.) Here goes. (He pulls on braids, but with every tug, RAPUNZEL lets out a little squeak, an “ouch,” “ooo,” “yikes.”) This will never work. I’m hurting you. RAPUNZEL: It’s okay. I’m tough. LEW: Wait a minute. I’ve got it! I’ll just use this ladder over here. (He races STAGE RIGHT, gets ladder, sets it up in front of the tower. He begins to climb. WITCH and GLUMPWARTS ENTER from STAGE LEFT.) WITCH: (Spots LEW.) Stop! (LEW freezes.) Get him, boys! (GLUMPWARTS slowly move in on LEW, hissing and growling.) LEW: (Tries desperately to freeze the action by snapping his fingers. Nothing works. He keeps trying.) Why won’t this work? WITCH: You mean like this? (She snaps her fingers, action freezes. To audience.) Heh, heh, heh! Never know what’s gonna happen in a fairy tale, do you? (Snaps her fingers and action resumes. For preview only GLUMPWARTS pull LEW down off ladder and move him STAGE LEFT.) Well, well, well. Look at this here beeeoootiful hair. Oh, ah, eee! Me is in ecstasy. Boys, look at this here hair. (GLUMPWARTS leave LEW, cross to examine hair. They are beside themselves with glee. WITCH quickly climbs ladder, takes huge pair of scissors from her pocket and snips off the braids. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.] The GLUMPWARTS pick up braids and scurry with them DOWN STAGE LEFT. WITCH climbs down.) Aha! Me first crop. Wonderful! That vitamin E does the trick. (Crosses to GLUMPWARTS and examines braids.) I love it! I love it! Now, hair, grow some more. RAPUNZEL: (Indignant.) You said you’d let me go when my hair reached the ground. WITCH: I lied. RAPUNZEL: You two-faced, double-crossing skunk! I’ll get even with you! (WITCH and GLUMPWARTS are busy drooling over the hair and don’t notice LEW, who climbs the ladder and extracts RAPUNZEL from the tower. They start out STAGE RIGHT, but just as they are about to make their escape, WITCH spots them.) WITCH: Hold it, losers! (GLUMPWARTS race STAGE RIGHT, surround the pair, prevent them from exiting. WITCH crosses STAGE RIGHT to them.) No, you don’t! Back in the tower, toots! LEW: Take me instead! RAPUNZEL: Oh, Prince Llewellyn! WITCH: Sorry, you don’t got the hair. RAPUNZEL: Listen, I am fed up to here... (Points to her hair.) with this hair nonsense. You said all I had to do was grow my hair long enough to reach the ground. I did that. Why won’t you let me go? Why do you have such a thing for hair? What are you, bald or something? (An incredible reaction from WITCH and GLUMPWARTS. They sputter, growl, hiss, go through some very intricate contortions.) WITCH: Who told you? LEW: You are bald! WITCH: Don’t rub it in. LEW: But, there’s nothing wrong with being bald. It’s the same thing as wearing glasses or using a cane... lots of things. WITCH: Then why don’t nobody like us? RAPUNZEL: The Glumpwarts are bald too? GLUMPWART 1: You gots hair. We wants it. For preview only GLUMPWART 2: You gots too much hairs. GLUMPWARTS: We is gonna stick it on our heads. GLUMPWART 3: Stick it on with Super Glue. GLUMPWART 4: Nobody likes us ’cause we is bald. RAPUNZEL: (MUSIC CUE 8: “Just Because You’re Different.” Speaks.) Nobody likes you because you are mean. I didn’t even know you were bald with those deely-boppers on your heads. WITCH: (Softening. Speaks.) You didn’t? RAPUNZEL: (Speaks.) No, I didn’t! All you have to do is give people a chance. (Sings.) Just because you’re different from somebody else Doesn’t mean you have to act like a fool. Just because you’re different from somebody else You don’t have the right to be so cruel. LEW: (Sings.) Why should we care ’cause someone’s lost all their hair Or they’ve spiked it green all over their head? Why should we stew over some weird tatoo And let someone like you fill our lives with dread? WITCH: (Sings.) Just because we’re different from somebody else Doesn’t mean we have to make such a scene. GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) Just because we’re different from somebody else We don’t have the right to be so mean. LEW/(MALE) GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) Why should we point or get our nose outta joint ’Cause we’re wearin’ pants and they’re in a skirt? WITCH/RAPUNZEL/(FEMALE) GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) We get so uptight, it’s all so black and white. WITCH: (Sings.) We always think we’re right. RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) But it sure can hurt. ALL: (Sing.) Just because we’re different from somebody else We don’t treat ‘em like they’re some kinda ghoul. Just because we’re different from somebody else Always remember the golden rule. RAPUNZEL: (At end of song.) Good grief, Ms. Witch, how would you like it if somebody locked you in a tower and stuffed you full of vitamin E? WITCH: (Shyly.) You kin call me Izzy. RAPUNZEL: Izzy, I was wondering... would you like to try Prince Llewellyn’s new invention? For preview only GLUMPWARTS/WITCH: Invention? LEW: Well, you see, it really wasn’t the vitamin E that did it. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: It wasn’t? RAPUNZEL: No, it was Prince Llewellyn’s incredible hair tonic. That’s what made my hair grow so fast. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: Ooooo! RAPUNZEL: (Taking lotion out of her pocket.) Here you go. (She hands the lotion to WITCH.) LEW: I don’t know if it will work, but it does grow hair on eggs. WITCH: Why would anyone want to eat a hairy egg? RAPUNZEL: Just try it. What have you got to lose? WITCH: You’d do this fer me, after all the mean stuff I did ta you? RAPUNZEL: Hey, let’s just start over, okay? I’ll forgive you, if you can forgive me for calling you a two-faced, double-crossing skunk. Besides you really do have a lot going for you. I’ve never met such a wonderful gardener in my life. Your rampion is the best in the world... even though I am a little tired of it. WITCH: (Touched by her words.) That’s all I ever really wanted to do... be a gardener. And, me Glumpwarts, they is the ones that teached me. (GLUMPWARTS blush and giggle.) RAPUNZEL: There, you see? There are lots of people that would flock to buy your vegetables. Lots of people that would benefit from your advice. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: You mean it? LEW: Of course she does. RAPUNZEL: It doesn’t matter if you’re bald, green or polka-dotted. Just let folks get to know you. Go on. Try the lotion. You don’t have anything to lose. LEW: Go on, Izzy. Even if it doesn’t work, you’re still going to be a very important person in this kingdom. WITCH: (Overcome with their kindness.) You is jes’ the bestest friends an ol’ hag ever had. (Bellows.) Come on, Glumps! Let’s go try this stuff! (GLUMPS cheer. WITCH and GLUMPWARTS EXIT STAGE LEFT. RAPUNZEL and LEW turn to each other. Suddenly, they are both very shy.) LEW: I, uh... I’d... would... you... my... like... forever? RAPUNZEL: Yes! LEW: You would? RAPUNZEL: Mmm hmmm! (They slowly move in, as if to kiss, but are interrupted by shouts from the HOUSE. KING, QUEEN, For preview only MARKIE, BUMPUS, RENE, WALT, SAGES, KNIGHTS and JESTERS race UP CENTER AISLE. They race ONTO the STAGE, divide equally on each side.) KING: We’ve found her! WALT: (Moving with RENE to embrace RAPUNZEL.) My little girl! RENE: My baby! KING: We couldn’t stand by and wait. Our subjects told us of their harrowing adventures. We are going to stomp that witch and her dastardly cohorts. QUEEN: Oh, Zeek, you are so masterful! KING: Prince Llewellyn, what were you thinking of? You had no business trying to rescue this girl. We love you, but... well, you’re a nerd. BUMPUS: Right! He’s not as pretty as me. MARKIE: And he doesn’t have as much money as I do. RAPUNZEL: He rescued me! He was the only one that persevered. ALL: You’re kidding! KING: Prince Lew, I don’t know what to say. This can’t be true! I say, let’s go hunt Witch Izwitch down right now. She’ll pay. LEW: Stop! Izzy isn’t a threat to anyone. OTHERS: Izzy?! RAPUNZEL: The Glumpwarts won’t hurt anyone either. LEW: They’ve changed. Well, not really “changed,” just realized that their behavior was the reason why nobody liked them. You see, they thought because they were bald— ALL: Bald?! RAPUNZEL: It’s a long story. You see... (A commotion as WITCH and GLUMPWARTS race in from STAGE LEFT. They are transformed. No longer do they wear hoods, but each is sprouting the most fantastical crop of hair imaginable.) WITCH: Prince Llewellyn, ya dood it! Ya dood it! We ain’t bald. We is fully hairy. We is beeeooootiful! We is gonna have the biggest rampion farm in the kingdom! In the world! An’ it’s all ’cause a you! KING: Prince Llewellyn, is this true? RAPUNZEL: You’re darn tootin’ it’s true. LEW: Father, I... that is... you see... when I saw Rapunzel’s picture, I... that is... I mean... she... she said— RAPUNZEL: I said yes! ALL: Yes?! For preview only RAPUNZEL: That’s right! I’m going to be Mrs. Furaday! ALL: Say, what? LEW: (Blushes.) That is, if you and Mother and Mr. and Mrs. Shwartzbuckle will give your blessings. WALT/RENE/KING/QUEEN: You’ve got it! RENE/PETUNIA: Psst, dear, take off your glasses. LEW/RAPUNZEL: No way! (Cheers. WITCH and GLUMPWARTS dance around in wild glee. The others watch in amazement.) KING: Silence! (Quiet.) I realize that this is a very exciting day, but Witch Izwitch and you Glumpwarts are really acting like a bunch of goons. SAM: Well, you know what they say. ALL: No, what do they say? JESTERS: Hair today, goon tomorrow! (ALL groan.) KING: See me tomorrow. JESTERS: You got it. KING: In the meantime, I proclaim this day shall go down in history as one of the greatest. Let’s all go back to the castle and celebrate. (Cheers. The KING snaps his fingers. The action freezes.) Oh, and by the way, everybody lived... (Snaps his fingers. Action resumes.) happily ever after! (MUSIC CUE 8a: “Let Your Hair Down—Reprise.”) JESTERS: (Sing.) You can be a joker. KING: (Sings.) You can be a king. RENE/QUEEN: (Sing.) You can be the mother of a difficult, young thing. KNIGHTS: (Sing.) You can be a hero. LEW: (Sings.) You can be a nerd. SAGES: (Sing.) You can give the best advice the world has ever heard. WALT/RENE/RAPUNZEL: (Sing.) But when your life gets too serious, COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) The smallest task is a chore. COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. KING/QUEEN/PRINCES: (Sing.) All the stress makes you delirious. COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. KNIGHTS/SAGES/JESTERS: (Sing.) Suddenly you’ve become a bore. For preview only COMPANY: (Sings.) It’s time to let your hair down, Have a little fun, Put a smile on your face, Chase the blues on the run. Let you hair down Kickin’ up your heels, Nothin’ like a good laugh, (ALL laugh.) You’re gonna love how it feels. RAPUNZEL: (Sings.) You can be a beauty. GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) You can be a troll. WALT: (Sings.) You can be a father who’s dug himself a hole. BUMPUS: (Sings.) You can have the muscle. MARKIE: (Sings.) You can have the brain. WITCH: (Sings.) You can have the power to drive someone else insane. WALT/RENE/RAPUNZEL: (Sing.) But when your life gets too serious, COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. WITCH/GLUMPWARTS: (Sing.) One little glitch and you scream. (ALL scream.) KING/QUEEN/PRINCES: (Sing.) Before you know it, you’re furious, COMPANY: (Sings.) Oooh. KNIGHT/SAGES/JESTERS: (Sing.) And your life is one big, bad dream. COMPANY: (Sings.) It’s time to let your hair down, Have a little fun, Put a smile on your face, Chase the blues on the run. Let your hair down, Kickin’ up your heels, Get a little silly, Nothin’ else appeals. Nothin’ like a good laugh, (ALL laugh.) You’re gonna love how it feels. (MUSIC OUT. BLACKOUT.) END OF PLAY

For preview only PRODUCTION NOTES PROPERTIES ON STAGE, Scene One: Small stool, newspaper entitled “Ain’t It.” BROUGHT ON, Scene One: Two containers of rampion pushed onstage, paper and pen (WALT). BROUGHT ON, Scene Two: Barbell labeled “1000 lbs.” (BUMPUS); cellular phone, money, clipboard, paper, pen (MARKIE); glasses, hairy egg (LEW). BROUGHT ON, Scene Three: Pair of glasses (RAPUNZEL). ON STAGE, Scene Four: Two thrones. BROUGHT ON, Scene Four: Picture of Rapunzel (WALT). ON STAGE, Scene Five: Tower, step ladder. BROUGHT ON, Scene Five: Glasses, bottle of hair lotion (LEW); glasses, long braids, bucket with rope (RAPUNZEL); huge pair of fake scissors (WITCH); long hair (WITCH, GLUMPWARTS). THE TOWER The tower may be constructed of painted flats or cardboard. Appliance cartons, stacked and securely fastened together and anchored to Rapunzel’s platform, are also a possibility. The tower needn’t be particularly high, and can be made to look higher than it really is by using forced perspective. The platform behind it should be large enough so that Rapunzel can move around without danger of falling. Choir risers or two large tables anchored on top of each other might be used. The tower window should be low enough so that Rapunzel can step over the sill and onto the ladder with ease. Cardboard silhouettes of trees may also add to the setting. COSTUMES The play can be set in any period in history or a combination of many different periods. Some suggestions follow: KING and QUEEN: crowns and traditional robes over modern dress. BUMPUS: sweats, princely cape, crown. MARKIE: business suit, princely cape, crown. LLEWELLYN: short pants, lab coat, wild tie, princely cape, crown, large glasses. SAGES: long flowing robes, perhaps with herbs on them. KNIGHTS: tights, tunics, hoods, swords, regulation “knight” gear. For preview only JESTERS: anything goes, as colorful and crazy as possible. GLUMPWARTS: These creatures haven’t been seen in a while, but report is they are disgusting. Whatever their costumes, they should have tight fitting hoods that completely conceal hair. WITCH: Traditional, or wild and wacky. Witch also needs tight fitting hood to conceal hair. RAPUNZEL: There are three different stages of hair growth. In Scene Three, her braids are about shoulder-length. In the first part of Scene Five, they fall to her waist. After she has applied the hair tonic, her hair falls to the ground. The braids may be made of yarn and attached to a cap. The longest braids need to be easily separated from the cap or from a shorter section of the braid. Velcro would allow the witch to remove the longer portion of the braids as she “cuts” them. When the prince tries to climb the braids, Rapunzel holds the braids tightly, just below their separation point. She also wears large glasses. STAGING The scenes at the Shwartzbuckles, the Witch’s Garden and inside the Castle can all be played on the apron if desired. This allows the tower to be hidden behind the grand drape and facilitates quick transitions between locales.

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