24

^THEUBYSSEYca

YOUR STUDENT NEWSPAPER IS PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY THROUGHOUT AUGUST • VOLUME 2.6, NUMBER I • ROOM 24, STUDENT UNION BUILDING • [email protected] 2/UBYSSEY.CA/EVENTS/2009.08.24

AUGUST 24™, 2009 VOLUME XVI, N° I EDITORIAL 4 7 COORDINATING EDITOR EVENTS Paul Bucci: [email protected] NEWS EDITOR 4 6 5 2 8 Samantha Jung: [email protected] If you have an event you want listed CULTURE EDITORS here, e-mail us at [email protected]. Kate Barbaria & Trevor Record: culture@ 3 9 ubyssey. ca SPORTS EDITOR Keegan Bursaw : sports @ubyssey.cza 2 6 1 August 24 against local rivals SFU. Wear IDEAS EDITOR blue! Be noisy! • August29 @ Trevor Melanson : [email protected] Final Destination Movie 2-4:30pm, Location: Thunderbird PHOTO EDITOR 1 3 Marathon • A marathon of the Stadium, $10. adults, $5 youth, $2 Gerald Deo : photos @ubyssey.ca first three Final Destination films in students. PRODUCTION MANAGER preparation for the release of Final Kyrstin Bain :[email protected] 9 5 1 Destination 3D. • August 24 @ Dan Mangan with Meatdraw * COPY EDITOR 6:30pm, The Norm Theatre, SUB. The second night of Dan Mangan's Katarina Grgic: [email protected] Free Admission. CD release party for his album, Nice, Nice, Very Nice. • August 29 @ MULTIMEDIA EDITOR 6 7 August 25 7:30pm, Location: The Cultch, 1895 Tara Martellaro : multimedia@ubysseyca Venables Street, $18. Room 24, Student Union Building 6138 Student Union Boulevard Linking E-Learning with the 7 5 6 1 9 August 30 Vancouver, BCV6T lZl e-Library • Hands-on workshop tel: 604-822-2301 where you can learn how to easily fax: 604-822-9279 and conveniently link from your Rent • Last night of Fighting web: www.uhyssey.ca 5 8 WebCT Vista course directly to Chance Productions' musical resource material from the UBC e-mail: feedback @ubyssey. ca adventure • August 30 @ 8pm, ibrary. Bring your own citation lists Location: Presentation House The­ BUSINESS HARD #66 and/or reading lists. • August25 atre, 333 Chesterfield Ave, North Room 23, Student Union Building @ l-3pm, Location: Room 460, Van., $25. advertising: 604-822-1654 Irving K. Barber Learning Centre. business office: 604-822-6681 SU do ku Ongoing Events fax:604-822-1658 © Puzzle s by Pappocom August 26 e-mail: advertising@ubysseyca Malcolm Lowry Exhibition * A BUSINESS MANAGER : Fernie Per-eira How International Norms are showcase of one of BC's most fa­ AD TRAFFIC : Sabrina Marchand Built, Maintained and Destroyed: mous writers. Lowry was a British AD DESIGN : Isabel Ferreras The Case of Torture • Special poet and novelist and best known LEGAL Green College lecture by UBC for his novel Under the Volcano The Ubyssey isthe official student newspaper of the University President Stephen Toope; to kick Curated by UBC Ph.D. Student of British Columbia. It is published every Monday and Thursday off 2009/2010 academic year Mark Diotte. • July 20-September by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous, democratically run student organization, and all students are Wine and cheese reception to 30, Location: Rare Books and Spe­ encouraged to participate. follow. • August 26 @ 5-6:30pm, cial Collections, Irving K. Barber Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They Location: Coach House, Green Learning Centre. are the expressed opinion ofthe staff, and do not necessarily College, 6201 Cecil Green Park reflect the views of The U byssey Publications Society or the Road. Free admission. University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing TATAU: Samoan Tattooing and in The U byssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained Global Culture • Contemporary herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written Xwi7xwa Library Summer Films significance of Samoan tattoo permission ofThe Ubyssey Publications Society. • Three films for the Xwi7xwa's traditions in what the Museum The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University final film event of the summer of Anthropology is calling an "in­ Press (CUP) and adheres to CUP's guiding principles. Letters to the editor m ust be under 300 words. Please Showing: Indigenous Plant Diva, sightful and provocative exhibit." include your phone number, student number and signature Teachings of the Tree People, and Features over 40 photos by Mark (not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with all a people's choice. • August 26 @ Adams, New Zealand artist. • July submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the editorial office of The U byssey; otherwise verification 1:15-4:15pm, Location: Xwi7xwa 29-September 30, Location: Mu­ will be done by phone. "Perspectives" are opinion pieces over Library Seminar Room 205, 1985 seum of Anthropology. $11 adults, 300 words but under 750 words and are run according to West Mall. free for UBC students, faculty and space. "Freestyles" are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff staff with ID. members. Priority will be given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unlessthe latter istime sensitive. Opinion August 27 pieces will not be run until the identity of the writer has been verified. The U byssey reserves the right to edit submissions Jump Start • Provides new for length and clarity. All letters must be received by 12 noon Spectral Theatre's Late-Night nternational students with a the day before intended publication. Letters received after this Double Feature • A hapless scien­ two-week academic preparation point will be published in the following issue unless there is for university life. Comprised of an urgent time restriction or other matter deemed relevant by tist's attempt to develop a secret the Ubyssey staff. weapon in the fight against crime lectures, classes, workshops, socia It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified goes horribly awry and he un­ and cultural activities. • August advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to 19-September 1. publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the leashes a terror beyond imagina­ liability of the UPS will not be greater than the price paid for tion upon an unsuspecting world the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes or Madness and musical numbers Campus for Christ • Weekly meet- typographical errors that do not lessen the value or the impact unfold in From Beyond and Gigan- ofthe ad. ng of UBC's Campus for Christ ticle • August 27-29 @ 9: 30pm, for worship time, scripture and CONTRIBUTORS Location: 350 Powell St, $ 10. discussion.* Thursdays @ 5-7pm, Last Friday Gerald Deo, Keegan Bursaw and Samantha Jung Location: SUB 2147216. Free. went to see District 9, a newly-released art-house flick. Sarah Chung, Cynthia Khoo, Kyrstin Bain and Justin McElroy, followed The Class • An innovative teacher by a less-than-pleased Kathy Yan Li, took issue with their attempts to use his methods on UBC Power Walking Club • Power abrupt departure.Tara Martellaro (who did not watch films), a mixed race class in an inner-city unch walks every Friday, rain or Katarina Grgic,Trevor Melanson and Kasha Chang decided to school in Paris. • August 27-30 @ devote the evening to drinking instead. To spite the rest ofthe shine. Just 30 minutes of brisk clan Steve King, Caroline Harris, Kai Green, Ricardo Bortolon, 7:30pm, Location: The Norm The­ walking a day can produce mul­ Brendan Albano, Cel Rince and Trevor Record drove to Alberta atre, SUB, $4 general admission, tiple health benefits. Open to UBC packed like sardines into Paul Bucci's Nissan Micra (which had $2 for members. staff and faculty only. • August 28 been reinsured). Kate Barbaria and Craig Mewis had the best weekend of them all. @ 12- 12:30pm. August 28 Anime Club Summer Informal Dan Mangan with Aidan Knight Showings • Anime showings, pos­ sibly cute girls in seifuku. • Fridays GERALD DEO PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY • One of two CD release parties for Dan Mangan's new album, @ 5-1 Opm, Location: Woodward Living dead walk the streets of Vancouver Nice, Nice, Very Nice. • August 28 6. @ 7:30pm, Location: The Cultch, The streets of Vancouver were daubed a sticky, chemical red as 1895 Venables Street, $18. Christianity Explored • An infor­ hordes of the staggering undead moaned and stumbled their way mal course for people who would across the city on Saturday, August 15. From the initial five hundred August 29 ike to investigate Christianity or writhing, limping bodies that kick-started the zombie invasion in brush up on basics. No previous 2005, more and more have been infected with the zombie spirit knowledge of the Bible required, UBC Football vs. SFU Clan • as over two thousand participants came together for Vancouver's coffee and snacks required. • Sat­ Come support your UBC Thun­ urdays @ 9-11am, Location: SUB annual Zombie Walk. derbirds with their season opener 113, Free. Mcditcrra Ubyssey love campus. SUB LOWER LEVEL • (604) 221-4044

Come write for us. We're in Fresh Mediterranean Food SUB 24. You can also e-mail • GREEK SALAD • PASTA SALAD Canada Post Sales us at: [email protected]. Agreement •GYRO/DONAR PLATTER Number 0040878022 • FALAFEL V •BAKLAVA Canadian printed on^100s% University 'reeycledpaper Press \!_\Q Healthy Mediterranean Food

4/UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/2009.08.24

There will always be women in rubber flirting with me! Give me a break! % —Maureen Johnson, Rent Culture

• • PLAYING @ THE Hiking Vancouver NORM

THE CLASS/COURTESY SONY PICTURES The Class

TREVOR RECORD culture@ubyssey. ca Just when you thought you'd es­ caped the petty frustrations of high school, they get dragged into your university. The Class, known as En­ tre les Murs (between the walls) in France, will be playing in the Norm from August 27-30 at 7:30. Why did the UBC Film Society elect to screen it? Probably because it took the Palme d'Or at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival, in addition to several other awards and nominations. Of GERALD DEO GRAPHIC/THE UBYSSEY course, that alone shouldn't indi­ cate that you will want to watch it. The film takes place at an ethni­ A beginner s guide to the best Lower Mainland treks cally diverse inner-city Parisian school. Francois Begaudeau, who CRAIG MEWIS dominant throughout this Alpine The rough undulating trail makes especially if it's wet. Cotton socks plays himself (and also wrote the Contributor climb, but also for the incredible you work hard while providing get wet easily, and once they are, novel the film is based on), teaches amenities that are available to little incentives to continue. The they will feel like sandpaper while a class of 14-15 year-olds. His Summer's almost over and the list the over-night camping crowd: a trail is beautiful at first, providing you hike. Go for a synthetic or teaching method is flexible and of things you had planned to do but heated cabin. That's right, for only views of the coastal islands, but wool sock to avoid painful feet that tolerant, and he works hard to en­ didn't is bringing shame to your $ 10 a night you can stay in a lake­ quickly becomes rooty, muddy and will distract you from the beauty gage his class. However, as the year family. At the top ofthe didn't do's: side cabin where you can swim or tiring as it ascends the summits of you're there for. goes on a series of conflicts with his getting out for some fresh air and explore nearby features like Opal St. Marks and Unnecessary. After students challenges him to make exercise. But don't worry, you still Cone and the Gargoyles in rela­ Unnecessary, the trail becomes 2 Not enough water tough disciplinary decisions. have a few more weeks before class tive luxury. The cabin has "beds" quite challenging as it approaches It's important to have enough The majority of the film takes starts. So why not try going on a for 34 sleepers (bring your own the Lions. when you start out; plan on drink­ place when Frangois is struggling hike? The Ubyssey has compiled a mattress and bag!) and provides ing one-third of a litre for each to keep his students attention, of­ short list of some of the good and stoves, lights and a heater to en­ 2 The Grind hour on the trail, more if it's hot ten leading to heated exchanges. bad hikes in the area, as well as sure a comfortable stay. Popular Probably Vancouver's most pop­ and sunny. Bring a water filter, or But these conflicts feel surpris­ some things to keep in mind. with back country skiers in the ular trail, as well as the most over­ purifying pills, make re-filling on ingly real, even tame compared to winter and hikers in the summer, rated. Because it is so accessible, the train easy and safe. However, the sort of breakdowns that occur THE GOOD expect this place to be busy! it is climbed by thousands every trails like The Lions don't provide in many high school class rooms. year, which detracts somewhat hikers with many opportunities to The students aren't inner city cari­ 1 Garibaldi Lake 3 The Lions from that whole 'being in the great refill their water bottles, so plan catures, they are normal students Easy round trip: 16km/'6 hours Hard round trip: 15km/7 hours outdoors' feeling. The trail, while accordingly. living in the city. One of the best maintained trails On a sunny day these two well-maintained, is crowded and This tameness makes the class in South Western BC, the route to bumps, affectionately known as never quite escapes the ambient 3 Dying a bit slow, even dull to some, but Garibaldi Lake can be enjoyed as a "The Lions" stare down on Van­ city noise. Unless you're hammer­ Some of these trails are dif­ it also sets The Class apart. In day hike, or as a way to get deeper couver and define the northern ing out a lap mid-week to prepare ficult. The scramble to the peaks premise it is strikingly similar to into the wilderness. The trail from skyline. They're known to the for a weekend spent hiking real of the Lions and the Black Tusk is the 1988 American film Stand and the Rubble Creek parking lot be­ Aboriginals as the "Chiefs Daugh­ mountains, it's probably not worth dangerous, and a fall could mean Deliver. But while Stand and Deliver gins in the woods, but after 8km ters", after a pair who obtained your time. The gondola ride down serious injury or death. If you had the hardworking, innovative it opens up into beautiful alpine the privilege of being turned into is a pretty neat feature, though. don't feel comfortable, you prob­ teacher's efforts rewarded with meadows, picturesque glaciers geological features by inviting ably shouldn't hike it. Use caution a universal and extreme student and mountains. There are many warring tribes to their birthday 3 The Squaw at all times in the wilderness and turnaround, Frangois' victories are campsites along the trail, and the party, which lead to peace on the The trail has been described in be aware that wildlife may try to modest. His failures bring a level area contains some of BC's best coast. The Binkert trail starts from hiking guides as a "unkempt", so eat you. Use common sense when of realism to the film, without the hiking and scrambling. A camp­ Lions Bay and gains over 1500m don't expect virgin beauty. Located hiking, and don't go without a extreme violence or consequences site at this beautiful lake provides over the 7.5km journey to the next to Squamish, it is longer and map or knowledge of the area. Get that a similar film might employ a great base for exploring nearby peak. Even those who don't elect more challenging than the Chief directions to these trails and some for easy melodrama. features like the Black Tusk and to climb/scramble to the very top trail, from which this branches words of advice by Googling some Anyone looking for a flashback Panorama Ridge, both just around can enjoy the breath-taking view off of. Your efforts would be better reviews before you go—vancouver- to some of their more uncomfort­ 5km away. Panorama Ridge is of Vancouver from the look-out. spent exploring the three peaks of hiking.tripod.com is a great place able moments in education will as beautiful as its name implies, It's Highly recommended, but be the Chief, or the multitude of trails to start, fl definitely want to check out the and the Black Tusk is a difficult prepared to work hard if you want that surround Squamish. film. It effectively takes viewers scramble for those who appreciate to reach the top. back into the classroom—akin to a challenge. THE UGLY war veterans watching fireworks, at THE BAD *In order to reach the Lions, it wastimes . But those looking for a night 2 Elfin Lakes 1 Cotton Socks at one time necessary to cross Un­ of easy entertainment, or even a Medium round trip: 22km/8 hours 1 Howe Sound Crest Cotton socks cause blisters. This necessary Mountain, a requirement feel-good story about inner city This trail is popular not only for Unless you're using this trail is especially important on over­ which was resented by early climb­ youth overcoming their difficulties the spectacular views of the Tanta­ to reach Unnecessary Mountain*, night trips, but day hikers may ers. It is no longer necessary to go are probably better off sitting out lus range near Squamish that are it's probably better left alone. benefit from this advice as well, over Unnecessary Mountain. this session of The Class. ^ 2009.08.24/UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/5

• •CD REVIEWS

FALCAO AND MONASHEE: Lead singer Matt "Matty" Lyall Bohemia lives again (SELF TITLED) turns these songs into something more than the sum of their parts, Vancouver production of Rent captivates crowds with vocal alchemy reminiscent of B. Flowers, he who made the KATHY YAN LI Killers' three-minute schlock club- kyanli@ubyssey. ca rock a better-than-guilty pleasure. His voice is quite literally jaw- They have been selling out almost dropping, the sort of big trumpet­ every night, and they've held the ing baritone to melt the hearts and show over for an extra week due to minds of 99 per cent of shrieking incredibly high demand. They've hipster girls (and ten per cent of made over $2000 selling buttons shrieking hipster boys). to raise money for the Jonathan Unfortunately, this is where Larson Foundation for AIDS walks. Islomania falls flat—without that There weren't enough programs "Him & her" local act Falcao And transformative voice, the Racoons to go around. It was a warm, stuffy Monashee used the tried-and-true lose a lot of their get-up-and-dance theatre filled with the chatter of back to the woods approach for inspirational power. It's tinny, excited patrons. Everything indi­ this self-titled album—camping it's disappointing, and it draws cated Rent would bea great show— out on an island in some cabin your attention to things you might and it did not disappoint at all. to make some music. Hence their not have noticed in the midst of Rent would sell even with me­ use of birdsong (barely forgiv­ live music delirium—like how diocre actors, but what made it so able), and the overwhelming they haven't left the high school delightful was the amazing cast. feeling of intrusion when listen­ level of lyric-writing. Live, they're The intricate, heart-warming story ing to their self-titled efforts. Not swoonworthy magic; from your of a group of New Yorkers rough­ an album for parties or large headphones, less so. We offer ing it with empty wallets, drugs, groups, it should be enjoyed alone condolences to bandmates Jeff disease and love was brought to with a responsible serving of the Mitchelmore, Murray Mckenzie life by the stellar cast performanc­ capacity-reducing substance of and Alex Bodman. Despite being es. Jacqueline Breakwall wowed your choice. Their quiet, layered regulation scruffy hipster hotties, the crowd as Maureen with her en­ compositions and fuzzy lyrics are you will never get as much action gaging and powerful monologue, a dish best served in the dark and as your frontman. tickling the audience with her quiet—where it doesn't matter that outright sassiness. Christine Quin- they have never so much as heard tana, a second-year in UBC's BFA of consonants. BIDINIBAND Theatre program, gave a very con­ Minor annoyances aside, each THE LAND IS WILD ' ] vincing performance of Mimi, an Maureen (Jacqueline Breakwell) and Mark (Anton Lipovetsky) in Rent. song is esoterically wonderful. exotic dancer who contracts HIV. DEVIN KARRINGTEN PHOTO/COURTESY OF FIGHTING CHANCE PRODUCTIONS "Secret Agent" is the soundtrack Her highlight was the awkward co­ to an arthouse film about former medic timing with Craig DeCarlo, A medium-sized and energetic also made some ofthe group scenes spies, retired to the coast but playing Roger the rocker, during orchestra played all the tunes in cluttered, and the choreography about to be embroiled in politi­ their first meeting over a candle. the musical, including background static. It took a while for the cast to cal intrigue once again—maybe. Cesar Erba, playing Angel, was a music and sound effects. Hidden adopt and commit to their charac­ "Parasocial," the first song on this pint-sized powerhouse who blew at the balcony on stage, they were ters' lives and stories. Once they did, album to feature even vaguely the house away with her vocals. a delight, with the guitars and it was a dynamic and moving perfor­ enunciated words, is also the One of the most touching scenes pianos finding the delicate mix mance. On a bigger stage with a big­ creepiest: trilling keyboards with was the support group meeting. required for a rock musical. ger budget, director Ryan Mooney's a steady, unnerving beat. Hip for The song carrying the scene was There was a slight lack of cohe­ production of Rent—the first ever in your Halloween party, or any time BIDINIBAND: THE LAND IS "No Day But Today," a stunning sion during the first half, with the Vancouver—would be wowing the you feel a sense of looming disas­ WILD group performance. There was a orchestra often overpowering the city and playing for months. But ter. The real keeper of the album Our rating: Four maple leaves out touch of intimacy in the harmony vocals, making it difficult to appre­ even without that, it's still a quality is "Starlight," nearly five minutes of five non-innuendo beavers. and openness of the actors as they ciate the nuances of the characters. show with infectious enthusiasm. of Monashee's gorgeous translu­ One good thing has come from faced the audiences in chairs—one The small space the actors had to Rent is playing at North Vancou­ cent voice doing what can only be the disbanding of seminal Cana­ of the very few times where they use at Presentation House made the ver's Presentation House Theatre described as "pretty high things," dian group the Rheostatics, and connect with the audience. performances more intimate, but it until August 30. tJ plus judicious use of xylophone. I that is Dave Bidini's freedom reserve high praise for a song that to indulge his sense of whimsy. not only uses esoteric instruments How whimsical, you ask, is this but can get you laid (no, seriously). album? If we compare The Land The focus of the album moves Is Wild to the human body, from small ("Teleportation," whimsy is oxygen—necessary for "Plot") to large; from earthly to survival, permeating every tiny upwards ("All Terrain," "Starlight," particle of life. "Heaven," and finally "Strange Between songs about burnout Universe"). Tragically, Falcao & hockey players and lesbian school­ Monashee's fantastic sense of teachers, however, are points of mood and mystery is offset by real interest and pathos. Smokers cheap symbolism that only an will rejoice to hear "Last Good Cig­ English major could enjoy. Nev­ arette," a sing-along ode to slowly Edmonton-based band The Heard blows away a full house at the Bourbon, GERALD DEO PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY ertheless, Falcao & Monashee are poisoning yourself in the face of wholly listenable, alternately ter­ the crushing weight of the modern rifying and soothing. They give us world. Olio Festival gets a passing grade a mean ambient soundtrack that What makes The Land Is Wild grows better with repetition. (occasionally) a joy to listen to crowd would come out to each manage to pack in fair-sized crowds is the contrast between Dave TREVOR RECORD stage, supporting the lesser-known (though they may have been people Bidini's clear, total, utter and acts who were filling the same bill there for the music later on). Those absolute love for all things Cana­ '.ca as well as ensuring that passholders present for the comedy represented dian and his overwhelming need The first Olio Festival took place would move around from night to a different audience than Olio's hip to take the piss out of it. "The at bars and art galleries across the night. The music was consistently music mainstay crowd. Ongoing Saga of Canadiana and city from August 13-16. Combining good, especially for those who knew Overall, the comedy and musical Canadiandy" is so full of literal visual arts, stand-up comedy and what they wanted. aspects of the festival complement­ Canadiana (also jibes at America music, the organizers claim that Inevitably there were a number ed one another. Unfortunately, the and cussing) that the question over 3000 people attended the vari­ of problems with the first-timefesti ­ festival's art didn't attain the same is not where the references but ous venues. The festival was orga­ val, including some minor technical level of symbiosis. When included where they aren't. nized quickly; at this time last year problems. The main problem was in in a venue hosting music and com­ Nearly every song on this album it was naught but a vague glimmer the scheduling. The first two nights edy, the visual arts were generally sounds incredibly gleeful. Even in the hearts of those who set it up. had seven venues, offering a variety ignored. The art show at Grace Gal­ revolutionary ballad "How Zeke But they had a number of partners, of music. But by the third night, lery (which was going on without THE RACOONS : ISLOMANIA Roberts Died" seems more like a including UBC's radio station, CiTR, there were only four venues, two of music) seemed disconnected from Formerly Victoria-based quartet campfire song than an earnest de­ who climbed the ramparts of Van­ which had live music. The Railway the rest of the festival. the Racoons—now in new Kitsilano piction of, y'know, wartime atroci­ couver to spread the word. Was it Club faced an overwhelmingly long Olio organizer Jason Sulyma said digs, if we can believe their social ties. When Bidiniband starts tak­ any good? For a festival's first time, queue as a result. the festival has plans to get bigger media—clearly miss their home­ ing turns singing lines, you know yes. At least enough that it'll be ex­ Of course, music wasn't the only every year. This year, a few were town. Why else would their new you're in for eight minutes (EIGHT citing to see what they can throw thing going on at Olio. A healthy grumbling that Olio was Music EP be titled Islomania? MINUTES?!) of mild discomfort. together next year. variety of local comedians took the Waste, only $10 more. At $25 per "Rise & Fall" and "No, it Meant Why, indeed, can't God save the The festival's music was their big­ stage, providing improv, sketch pass it wasn't breaking anyone's Nothing" are representative of people? Why does God harm gest draw. Venues were arranged by teams and stand-ups. Unfortunately, bank, but since entrance to most this album—a catchy chorus with the best? And why the hell, Dave musical themes; the Astoria hosted they didn't all get a lot of laughs, venues was $10 or less, the pass synth/keyboard riffs over the sort Bidini, have you set this theophi- punk and metal bands on Friday and only a handful had a refined wasn't a deal. But if Olio grows of straightforward rising guitar we losophical crisis to a chirpy four- while the Anza Club showcased sense of timing. Unless you're into much larger, next year the pass will all cut our inspirational rock teeth four beat? indie rock from local studio Mint heckling, there isn't much to be said be a must-have. In a decade, it might on. Good, sure, but not seminal; re­ Don't answer that. It would ruin Records. A number of well-known for comedy when it doesn't get to become a must-have for just about peated listenings hold no additional the magic, tl Vancouver acts ensured that a you. However, the comedians did anyone living in the city. \J benefits—save the joy of familiarity. —Kai Green 6/UBYSSEY.CA/IDEAS/2 0 09.0 8.2 4

Happiness is the longing for repetition. vv vv —Kundera Milan

SEX COLUMN

KASHA CHANG TOO SEXY toosexy@ubyssey ca Hello beautiful readers, and wel­ Hi CAPTOR. There are a lot of in­ they're accompanied by sex or come to Too Sexy, The Ubyssey's teresting issues to unpack. Let's not. Emotional bonds with dif­ brand-spanking, shiny new sex start by debunking any lingering ferent people can coexist; having and relationship advice column. myths about what guys are "sup­ more than one doesn't mean you We're a crack team of sexonauts posed" to want sexually. As a guy, "don't need" the others. In any engaged bi-weekly to answer your your desires are your own; they're case, if this makes you nervous, burning questions and satisfy your not dictated by your physiologi­ you and your partner should talk curiousities. We'll illuminate is­ cal sex or any happenstance of about the possibility of being sues you think the population at biology. Rest assured, you're not physically open but emotionally large ought to know more about, a clueless asshole for wanting exclusive in your relationship. using all the resources at our dis­ to have monogamous sex with We think you'll be able to posal and every iota of cunning we just one woman. There's nothing work things out with a little possess. But we can't do it alone. weird or lame about that, and you communication. We need your letters. So, if there's don't have to justify that desire to Love, a question you want to ask, or an anyone. Too Sexy issue in sex politics you'd like to As for the rest of your ques­ see unpacked, or if you just want tion, although you profess a MY FACEBOOK CRUSH to see your letter in print, don't be reluctance to discuss the issue shy. Here's your chance. You can with your girl, in this situation Some pictures from a friend's contact us at toosexy@ubyssey. that really is the best course of album came up in my mini TREVOR MELANSON ca. Please know that your privacy action. If you attempt to sup­ feed recently and in one of the is important to us and the confi­ press the doubts you're feeling, pictures was one of the most dentiality of your identity will be you run the risk of losing what beautiful girls I had ever seen in • • EDITORIAL respected. you have with this girl through my life. I went to her profile to Now, let's dive right in. Here mutual misunderstanding. You'll see if she was in any of the same are our first letters. become resentful of being in a networks as me, but she unfortu­ situation that makes you uncom­ nately lives on the other side of HELP WITH MY OPEN fortable. Any relationship relies the world. What would you do in The Newbyssey? RELATIONSHIP on emotional honesty to func­ my position? Neither of us know tion, but this is especially true each other, but I am compelled to Every year, The Ubyssey strives to become a better paper. All summer, I recently started dating a girl of open, non-exclusive arrange­ add her despite this; otherwise, I while our campus is warm and quiet, we prepare for our annual face­ I've been wanting for over a year. ments. If she truly cares for you feel that I will regret not ever fol­ lift. This time around, however, we've cut particularly deep with our She's witty, sexy, and charming; as she should and you're willing lowing up on an ambition. scalpel of change. In short, this ain't yo grandma's Ubyssey. a complete package and I'm find­ to sit down with her and divulge —Anonymous What we've tried to create is a paper for you. All of you. Even those of ing myself more and more in love exactly the qualms you expressed you who don't really care about us, this campus, or anything that goes with her everyday. When we start­ in your letter, she should be Keeping in mind you don't know on within its perimeters. We hope that even the perpetually apathetic ed dating, she told me she wanted happy to talk the issue over and this girl and have no basis for student, dulled by video games and sex on TV, will find something of to be in an open relationship and reassure you. Moreover, it's like­ attraction to her save her appear­ value in this paper. (excited to get this ball rolling) I ly she'll be able to put your fears ance in some photos, it might Now look up. Look waaaaaaaaaay up. That's the flag for the new agreed. There's a problem though: of losing her to rest with a few be a good idea to try to find out Ideas section, which is replacing our old Features and Editorial sec­ the more I think about this, the simple words. It sounds like you more about her if you're really tions. It's going to be sexy, sassy and awesome. We want you to write more it starts to freak me out. two haven't really talked about set on pursuing this. Can you ac­ in and tell us what you think. We want you to throw down the paper in I've always been monogamous her philosophy behind openness cess her profile? Do you share fury. We want to make you laugh. We want to make you cry. We want to (to the best of my abilities) and in the relationship, and what any interests, and could you use sweet talk you in the corner of a party and tell you that we're not like sex for me is tied to love. What each of your needs are, which is any of these interests to strike up other papers, that we're different, and we're not going to leave you for scares me about an open relation­ an essential conversation. a conversation? Does your friend some cheap whore like your asshole newspaper back home. ship is the idea that she'll become Finally, please know that open know her and can they provide Speaking of sex and relationships, check our our new column by emotionally tied to someone else, relationships can and often do any information? resident Dan Savage-wannabes Kasha Chang and Austin Holm. They and she won't need me anymore. work, so long as both partners Here at Too Sexy, we believe will do the best to answer your questions on the intricacies of human I know it's lame, but right now I are willing to be honest and that compatibility is more than interaction, penetration and masturbation—as well as a little bedroom can't even imagine sleeping with discuss potential problems im­ just physical attraction. That flagellation (testify!). anyone else (guys are supposed to mediately and frankly. After said, we also firmly believe in If a porno were to be made about our News, Sports, and Culture want sex all the time from many all, there are many kinds of Facebook stalking and blind sections, it would be "The Ubyssey Does UBC". We want full-on, no- women, right?). emotional bond, and lots of rea­ leaps onto dubious turf. So we holds-barred, pants-off coverage of campus. Every raunchy, booze-filled So here's my question: how do sons to want to have sex with think you should add her. corner of it. Plus the Olympics. We're totally on the Olympics. I get over (or at least stop think­ someone. Friendship is a kind of Happy hunting. Last, we'd like you to know that, above all else, we want to be your ing about) this fear? I don't want emotional bond, but people are Love, campus newspaper. So come on down, check us out, and have your to talk to her about it and run the rarely afraid of their significant Too Sexy way with us. vl risk of losing what we have (she other's friendships. It's healthy seems to really believe in the open for a person to have a variety of E-mail your sexy questions—or, relationship thing). emotional relationships in their if you'd like, detailed descrip­ —Clueless Asshole Pertaining Tolife , and these relationships are tions of your wet dreams—to us at Open Relationship nothing to be afraid of whether toosexy ©ubyssey.ca

ISAY ANYTHING We are looking for

Why iS it impOSSible to find some food on campus at 4am? We realize that the people running the University Endowment Lands, on PHP experts... which our university resides, want to maintain a goddamn hermetic bub­ ble for all the residents clinging onto a mediocre middle-class lifestyle...... with free time but at the expense of profits? Charge a 24-hour place quadruple for a damn business licence—they'll make a killing regardless. Hell, a slaughter after Pit nights. And why hasn't UBC gotten on top of this? To hell with please email what the RCMP might think—they don't have a vote, so fuck those guys. The Naam certainly hasn't been a gateway to hell, so what are people so feedback@ubysseyca worried about? Time to experiment and make some money UBC. —Ricardo Bortolon 2 0 09.0 8.24/UBYSSEY.CA/IDEAS/7

Z;V%0 ..... •• .-.V-^>-,---*N*A.-. •-• UP!*.- »'.•

UBC graduate publishes dystopian science fiction

the website, posthumannovel. STEVE KING com, and it will be hosted on Contributor other places, and YouTube obvi­ ously will be the major one, since UBC alumnus David Simpson has that's where almost everyone recently published his first nov­ goes for online videos," he said. el, Post-Human. Post-Human is a In Simpson's story, tiny micro­ science fiction action-adventure, scopic robots called nans (slang set in a future Vancouver that for nanotechnology) manage the is populated by technologically- future world. The nans have in­ advanced cyborgs known as post- corporated themselves into every George Or­ humans. Simpson has a MA in aspect of post-human lives. Nans well's li English from UBC, and he works keep post-humans perpetually and Aldous Hux­ as an educator. young and healthy. Simpson de­ ley's Brave New World Simpson published his novel scribed a post-human as "a much are two novels commonly with iuniverse.com, an assisted exaggerated version of the mod­ considered to be dystopian publishing service. ern human that we see today... fictions. "There is a process where you more and more you see people Baxter was glad to hear that' submit [the book], and it's vet­ carrying an iPhone around with her popular speculative fiction ted and it's edited, and it has them. Sometimes we see people class was influential to Simp­ to be a certain quality. You also with the little Bluetooth head­ son's book. "I'm delighted to see pay them money up front, and sets walking around. More and it because David is one of my that covers the publishing cost. more information technology is former students and I supervised And then once the book goes becoming synthesized with our his graduating honours essay." live, that's really when they start bodies. And in Post-Human, that Simpson has also used his story contacting you about marketing. is taken to a whole new level." to explore philosophical and reli­ • z,*.*Yzvn? The marketing opportunities are Simpson said that a dysto­ gious concepts. "I am very aware pretty great, and I've learned a pian literature class taught by that the novel has existential ele­ '*>&W&%_&* lot from them, but I passed on Dr Gisele Baxter at UBC was ments. And I am also very aware MPr ..'•v'\:'~v^'^/ . • .. most of them because they were influential for him when writing that it has Nietzschean elements *. ir-'-«A things that I thought I could prob­ Post-Human. According to Baxter, too. And with existentialism, ^'-v^v"-.:' ' ably do myself." "the term dystopia simply means while a lot of people look at it as Simpson has produced his 'bad place.' That's something that being beliefs, more than anything own book trailer that he hopes you're going to interpret in a num­ else it's a philosophy about taking will go viral. "Almost every shot ber of different ways. I tend to ap­ control of your own life." in the trailer has heavy special ef­ proach it as fictiontha t represents Simpson described protago­ fects, and the quality is outstand­ a vision of either the future or nist James Keats as "a Christ-like ing. And the idea is to have it on some sort of alternate present." figure, which is completely unin­ Christian, or if I've switched to the world of Star Trek from the tentional, but it is true that he is Buddhism, or if I'm an atheist. general landscape of dystopian referred to as being at the same [I want] people to be able to read fiction." time both a father and a son to the novel and wonder what my It could be argued that this If [robots] are capable of the same characters—completely view is, because I'm hopeful that fear of artificial life in dysto­ accidental. And when people I was able to give more than one pian fiction can be traced back to making these sorts of cog­ read the book, I think they will side to the debate." Frankenstein, in which Dr Fran­ see there are even more similari­ Dr Baxter clarified the differ­ kenstein's creation turns against nitive leaps, then they can, ties between his narrative and ence between dystopian and Uto­ him. the narrative of Christ. All of it is pian science fiction. "Star Trek Simpson hopes his book will be like those machines in The completely unintentional, which always ultimately takes a positive influential, and that his method I find as the writer very inter­ view of the capacity of human of publishing and marketing will Matrix, come up with an esting. It's so fascinating to see beings. I think in dystopian fic­ persuade people to see things dif­ your subconscious at work, and, I tion, this would be regarded as ferently. "I think that in a lot of idea of turning us all into suppose, to see how the superego something to fear. If [robots] are ways, the book itself is part ofthe influences what you write." capable of making these sorts story—I mean everything is about battery acid. Simpson, who grew up going of cognitive leaps, then they alternatives and doing things a to Catholic schools, and who was can, like those machines in The different way. And that is maybe —Dr Gisele Baxter a former altar boy, does not want Matrix, come up with an idea of the message I'd like people to get to divulge his own views on reli­ turning us all into battery acid. I from Post-Human....See alterna­ UBC Professor gion. "I don't want to give away think this is fundamentally the tives. See things differently, and whether or not I am a devout attitude difference that separates see outside the box." tl 8/UBYSSEY.CA/SPORTS/2009.08.24

ANOTHER WORLD RECORD FOR PIERSE! After setting a short course world record in the 200 metre breaststroke in March, UBC Thunderbird Annamay Pierse set the world record for the long course 200 metre breaststroke last month at the semi-finals of the 2009 Swimming World Champi­ onships in Rome with a time 2:20:12. Unfortunately, Pierse had to settle for the silver medal in the finals. KEEGAN BURSAW FILE PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY Sports Thunderbirds season preview: Football After tough 2008 season, young team looks to rebound

2008 RECAP FINAL RECORD: 2-6

STANDING: 7th in Con

SHRUM BOWL RESULT: SFU 20, UBC 19

ON OFFENCE: 14.6 points scored per game (7th in Canada West)

ON DEFENCE: 20.0 points al­ lowed per game (4th in Canada West)

KEY STAT: UBC out-scored their opponents 76-72 in the first half of games, but in the second half were out-scored 41-88.

2009 PREVIEW RETURNING STARTERS: Offence 8/12, Defence 5/12

OFFENSIVE STAR: Wide Receiver Spencer Betts. As a rookie last year, the lightning-quick UBC football coach Ted Goveia outlines his hopes for the 2009 Thunderbirds squad, GERALD DEO PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY receiver scored 3 touchdowns (most on the team), including a whatever reason, at certain times Doug Goldsby was signed by the sophomore Billy Greene, a high- 98 yard punt return, and an 84 JUSTIN MCELROY of the game, other teams made Montreal Alouettes. Beyond that, school star from Surrey who won yard reception. sports @ubyssey ca plays we didn't..in this sport it wide receiver Blaine Kruger, who the BC AAA MVP in 2007, took over always comes down to a couple of led the team in catches last year, the starting quarterback position DEFENSIVE STAR: Defensive As another year of football begins, plays, and we didn't make them." was signed by the Calgary Stam- at the end of last year, and is set Back Tyler Codron. The Canada the UBC Thunderbirds were push­ So it was last year for UBC: the peders. And with the graduation of to start against the SFU Clan this West all-star had 21.5 tackles, ing their bodies to the limit in... Thunderbirds surprised many all-star Shawn Mclssac, the T-Birds Saturday at UBC's home opener. 1 interception, and 2 fumble Kamloops? Yes, with Warped Tour early on with two wins in their first will have to find a new punter and "I think Billy, while he made some recoveries in 2008. at Thunderbird Stadium making three games. However, in the sec­ field goal kicker. Goveia is realistic mistakes last year, like any fresh­ the campus inhospitable to any­ ond half of the season, everything about the losses. man would, did some good things, SCHEDULE: one with good taste in music, the that could go wrong—inconsistent "We can sit here and wish that and he's improved a ton," said August 29 vs SFU, 2pm Thunderbirds football team spent quarterbacking, injuries to key all those guys were coming back. Goveia. September 4 @ Alberta, 6pm their first week of training camp at players, losses on the last play of We lost some great players on The T-Birds are a young team. September 19 @ Manitoba, 12pm Thompson Rivers University. Over the game—did, and UBC ended the the defensive line, and in order They're a group with talent, but September 26 vs Regina, 2pm a hundred UBC students practiced year on a five-game losing streak. to make up for that, we're going they will need good health, great October 3 vs Calgary, 2pm for more than ten hours a day in Now, after two years out of the to need guys to play behind them performances, and some luck October 9 vs Saskatchewan, 6pm hopes of making the team, and Canada West playoffs, Goveia and well, we need to be better on of­ to succeed in the tough Canada October 17 @ SFU, 1pm* head coach Ted Goveia hopes to his team are looking to bounce fence to take the pressure of the West conference. Yet despite the October 23 vs Manitoba, 7pm improve on last year's last place back. It won't be easy. defence, we're going to be stron­ challenges, Goveia and the team standing in the Canada West UBC's defence, the strength of ger on the back end and linebacker are optimistic: "I anticipate that Game times Pacific; available conference. the team last year, has been hit core, and we're going to be more we're going to be in the hunt for on CiTR "I think lastyear was tough for a hard with the loss of sack machine creative to get sacks." a playoff spot, and we could fin­ lot of people because we were pretty Scott McCuaig, defensive end UBC's hopes may well ride, as ish third or second no problem. good on defence," he said. "We had Tommy Buchmann and halfback they often do in football, on the And hell, if you can finish third * Shrum Bowl some good guys on offence, but for Alex Betts to graduation. Safety arm of its quarterback. Second-year or second, you can finish first." Don't cry for Thunderbirds in Argentina

Head coach Hash Kanjee said ing methods and game strategies. going to have a really good time off, then continue playing wom­ KATHY YAN LI the goal ofthe trip is to "jump start The team hopes the tour will and by the end of the time, I think en's league games until March." kyanli@ubyssey. ca the field hockey season by training allow the Thunderbirds to estab­ we're going to have a pretty strong She thinks the lack of rest will be and playing as much field hockey lish much need groundwork for idea of how we want to play this a "rude awakening at the begin­ The start of school may bring against some of the best field the CIS season, which kicks off season," he said. ning," but is confident the team the start of a lot of sporting sea­ hockey players in the world and September 19 against the Univer­ Even after the rather intensive will pull through it all. sons, but most student athletes to learn as much as we can from sity of Calgary, and runs through training schedule at Argentina, Seven of the team mem­ at UBC have been training all them," adding that the athletes to the national championships there's no slack for the young stu­ bers—who have yet to sit in a summer long to prepare for the gain "athletically, academically, in Victoria from November 5 to dent athletes. "We come back and first-year class—are excited to 2009 season. What better way socially, and culturally from the 8. Anthony Wright, a men's field maybe get a week off training, travel with the rest of the team to do so than by taking a trip to tour." hockey alumnus and member of then we play a tournament at the to Argentina."I'm finally coming Argentina? It's where the UBC UBC will spend their time in the 2008 Canadian Olympic team, women's league, then the next here and making this my new Thunderbirds Women's Field Buenos Aires and Rosario during is accompanying the women's weekend is our first [Canada West school," said Poonam Sandhu, Hockey team is right now, as they the trip, and play against nine dif­ team as a trainer, and feels the conference] game," said Samantha incoming first-year. "There are a face some of the top club teams ferent club teams. The T-Birds will tour is a "nice opportunity to get Smith, an Arts student going into lot of new girls, like myself. But in South America during a three- have access to guest coaches, gain­ some games in before the season." her fifth year with the team. "We we really click...all the girls are week tour of the country. ing insight into international train­ "We're going to get into it, we're usually get the rest of November really great." tl