Are You an Introvert?

You! You! You! girls think carefully before they speak, your thought-out business development so their arguments tend to be more strategy. And, says Susan, “One new reasoned. What’s more, introverts ask lots honest-to-goodness relationship is worth Famous of questions – and actually listen to the ten fistfuls of business cards.” Introverts answers – so they come armed to Forming A a meeting with stacks of vital info their more talkative Genius Idea Hey, colleagues might have There’s no doubt that in modern business Jessica Alba missed. And don’t be the playing field is tipped in favour of fooled by a shy girl’s the extroverts (think open-plan offices quiet speaking style: and an increased value on team work her mild manners and people skills). And in a group prefer people in allow her to take a brainstorm situation, for example, it’s Ismall numbers strong bargaining easy to overlook an introvert. They’re and controlled doses,” position in a business not comfortable blurting out half-baked It’s claims self-confessed negotiation, without ideas and would rather think an idea introvert Kristen Stewart. Leona Lewis coming off as aggressive. through fully in private before sharing And she’s not alone. One in with a group. Whereas an extrovert tends three of us fall into the introvert Making to have a more scatter gun approach – category: people who enjoy time alone, Good Friends firing out fragments of ideas in the hope are uncomfortable in the spotlight, are While on the face of it, an extrovert is that something sticks. But don’t mistake sensitive, thoughtful, gentle and calm. likely to be more popular (at a party, she’s assertiveness for eloquence, warns Susan. Okay But in a world that seems to favour those the girl surrounded by admirers) when Introverts might not be the first to speak with look-at-me confidence who put it comes to forging genuine friendships, up, but they are the people who can think themselves out there (Kim Kardashian, introverts triumph. The extrovert needs deeply, strategise and solve complex anyone?), where does that leave the constant stimulation, so likes nothing problems – it’s just that they prefer to solve wallflowers among us? better than meeting new people, but when the problems in private before sharing. In a pretty powerful place, actually, the novelty wears off, she’s on to the next “Some of our greatest ideas, art, and if you play your cards right. Granted, you crowd. But an introvert would rather skip inventions –from the theory of evolution to won’t be bagging your own reality show a group activity to spend quality time the Van Gogh’s Sunflowers to the personal To Be anytime soon, but you can still shake the sipping cocktails and thrashing out a computer – came from people who knew world – albeit a bit more subtly. You see, problem with just one close friend. how to tune in to their inner worlds and while the extroverts are schmoozing with Look at Kristen Stewart’s the treasures to be found there,” reveals the masses and dancing on the bar, shy extroverted co-star Nikki Reed: now that Susan. So channel that quiet power. ■ girls are quietly forging strong friendships the final Twilight movie has wrapped, she and leaving the party early to get an has publically cut ties with the co-stars she amazing idea down on paper (step forward once described as “family”, while Kristen J.K. Rowling and the Olsen twins, all has walked away from the franchise with a famously introverted and all millionaires). new BFF in Taylor Lautner. You see, when Are You “Why can’t quiet be strong?” argues an introvert makes a friend, she makes Susan Cain, negotiation consultant and a friend for life. “Introverts devote their An Introvert? author of Quiet (The Power Of Introverts social energies to close friends and family,” If more than seven of these statements In A World That Can’t Stop Talking). explains Susan. “They listen more than apply to you, you’re a shy girl. Shy! “The secret is to put yourself in the they talk, and enjoy deep conversations.” ✔ I prefer one-on-one right lighting. For some it’s a Broadway Networking conversations to group activities. Sure, the loudmouths, show-offs and spotlight for others, a lamplit desk.” ✔ I dislike small talk but I prefer talking attention-seekers might hog the limelight Susan adds, “I see first-hand how difficult At A Party in depth about topics that matter to me. it is for introverts to take stock of their There’s no doubt about it: a party isn’t a ✔ People tell me I’m a good listener. IMAGES most of the time (and where would we be Y own talents and how powerful it is when party without the extroverts. They are the ✔ I like to celebrate birthdays with without the Jersey Shore crew?) but there they finally do,” Here, Susan reveals four ones who laugh loudly and generously and only one or two close friends. amazing ways shy girls can rock. who can fill any awkward silence with chit ✔ I tend to think before I speak. are instances when it’s really the quiet chat. But while the thought of making Wowing In ✔ I prefer a weekend with nothing to do girls who secretly hold all the aces The Boardroom small talk at an office do fills an introvert than have too many activities scheduled. with fear, they still have a lot to offer in ✔ I often let calls go through Extroverts might be aces at thinking the networking stakes. Yes, you’ll be out of to voice mail. on the spot and talking themselves up, your element palm-pressing with a bunch ✔ I dislike conflict. but introverts have their own unique of strangers, but you could be the person ✔ I do my best work on my own. skills when it comes to blowing the boss’ having a quiet deep and meaningful in AOIFE STUART-MADGE. PHOTOGRAPHS GETT Y B sock off, says Susan. For starters, shy the corner that one key player, relaying 114 ✤ COSMOPOLITAN MARCH 2012 ✤ Are you following us on Twitter? @CosmoMiddleEast ✤ COSMOPOLITAN MARCH 2012 ✤ 115.

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