Lonne Sterling and Christine Michaels, Licensed Mental Health Counselors (LMHC) and Certified Employee Assistance Professionals (CEAP) and the co-founders of the Center for Change of Florida, have Second worked in the mental health, employee assistance and substance abuse fields for over 25 years. Their Lonne L. Center provides clients with outpatient counseling Thoughts? Sterling LMHC, CEAP and area businesses with Employee Assistance Pro- gram (EAP) services. Together they have established a reputationreputation asas dynamicdynamic professionals,professionals, eacheach bringingbringing unique and varied experiences to their practice. The Center services a diverse client population hances are, buying your first dealing with a broad range of mental health issues, C or “dream” home is the single such as mood disorders, relationship and family most exciting purchase you have or will problems,problems, angeranger andand stressstress management,management, griefgrief andand ever make in your life. The excitement Christine loss,loss, addictions,addictions, eatingeating disordersdisorders andand relapserelapse preven-preven- Michaels tion.tion. TheThe Center’sCenter’s staffstaff isis highlyhighly skilled,skilled, utilizingutilizing a starts even before stepping into the first LMHC, CEAP brief,brief, solution-focused,solution-focused, therapeutictherapeutic approachapproach andand house—viewing home buyer magazines techniquestechniques suchsuch asas EMDREMDR andand Hypnotherapy.Hypnotherapy. with those fantastic pictures of properties with great views, large living spaces and close proximity to the beach. Maybe you then browse the Internet to check list- ings before actually cruising the neigh- borhoods and frequenting open houses. Next comes the really fun stuff—you meet with a realtor and begin seriously looking at homes. Full of imagination relinquishing control and being forced to you are unable to secure financing, the and optimism, the excitement mounts. step outside their comfort zone. Psycho- house does not appraise at a price at or Mentally, you are already envisioning logically, to compensate for these feelings above the sales price, home inspections where to place the furniture and hang the of uncertainty, buyers try to mentally uncover more repairs than you are will- pictures. Miraculously, you eventually undo the event by talking themselves out ing to assume or the title search uncovers find the perfect place to live, the home of of the purchase. some questionable encumbrances. your dreams and more. Some factors that trigger or contrib- So, what is the antidote to Buyer’s You make the offer, you sign the ute to Buyer’s Remorse are:are: Remorse? agreement and the deal closes. You break Discussions with families and Prevention. Prior to buying your out the Champagne in celebration and friends. Although they mean well, friends home, educate yourself about current then, without warning, it strikes; logic des- and family can give you the jitters by market values and then logically make erts you and worry takes over. Doubtful peppering you with questions about your a list of all the possible advantages and thoughts intrude. You may find yourself choice, the purchase price, the neighbor- disadvantages of home purchase. Put the lying awake at night, tossing and turning, hood, the resale value or whether it is list aside for safekeeping and when Buy- wondering if you made the right decision. “good enough” or “too good” for you. er’s Remorse hits,hits, taketake outout thethe listlist andand “Did I buy the right house?” “What if I act- Continuing to look at houses. You review. This will not totally alleviate the ed too quickly and a better house comes might see this as validating your wise de- stress but it will help lower your anxiety. on the market tomorrow?” “I wonder if I cision when instead it causes you to sec- Right Sizing. Feelings are not facts. paid too much?” “Will I be able to afford ond guess yourself. Don’t assign more significance to your the monthly payments?” “What if I don’t Working with an inexperienced anxious feelings than is warranted. Just like the neighborhood?” “Is it the right or neglectful agent. Agents who do not because you’re questioning your decision time?” “Should I have waited?” “What if I guide their buyers through the closing doesn’t mean it isn’t a good one. lose my job or the market tanks?” Anxiety process or are unavailable for questions Normalizing. The fear of making a and stress has set in. You now have the cause doubt and insecurity for the buyer. commitment coupled with the fear of the “disease” of Buyer’s Remorse. Your own fears. We tend to think unknown can give rise to feelings of un- Because for most of us, home buying about the uncertainties of life when certainty. This is a natural response and is one of the most expensive purchases making a long term commitment. Our in most cases will pass. Fear is really just we will ever make, it is also probably one anxiety and fear cause us to dwell on the Future Events Appearing Real. of the most frightening. Buyer’s Remorse negatives, the “what ifs” and the “should If you need help in dealing with is an emotional response to the buying haves” instead of looking at the positives. the feelings associated with Buyer’s Re- experience that often triggers feelings of Sometimes, however, our concerns morse, please contact us for relief. anxiety, regret, fear and/or depression. are valid. For example, there are times Remember, even though Buyer’s For some buyers, these feelings may re- that purchases should be halted, such as Remorse c canan b bee a ann u unpleasantnpleasant e experi-xperi- late to the uncertainty associated with when you are overextending your budget, ence, it is rarely fatal. page 46 scene magazine