The Report Committee for Wayne Poh Kiat Cheong Certifies That This Is the Approved Version of the Following Master Report

The Report Committee for Wayne Poh Kiat Cheong Certifies that this is the approved version of the following master report:

Finding Your Inner Villain: The Evolution of Muhahaha

APPROVED BY SUPERVISING COMMITTEE:

Supervisor: ______Richard Lewis ______Andrew Garrison

Finding Your Inner Villain: The Evolution of Muhahaha

Wayne Poh Kiat Cheong, B.A.

Report

Presented to the Faculty of the Graduate School of The University of Texas at Austin in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of

Master of Fine Arts

The University of Texas at Austin December 2009

Finding Your Inner Villain: The Evolution of Muhahaha

Wayne Poh Kiat Cheong, MFA The University of Texas at Austin, 2009

SUPERVISOR: Richard Lewis

In this thesis report traces I detail the process from the conception of the idea through the arduous development and finally the final product of Wayne Poh Kiat Cheong’s narrative screenplay. Also included are the numerous revisions that have resulted from his involvement in this project.

iii

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1: Introduction………………………………………………………1 Chapter 2: Where Do You Get Your Ideas?...... 3 Chapter 3: The Process..…………...…………....….………..…………..7 Research……………………………………………………………..10 Characters…………………………………………………………..12 Revision, Revision, Revision….…………………………….17 Chapter 4: The UT Experience………………………………..………….35 Chapter 5: Personal History…………………...……………..………....38 Chapter 6: What Now?...... 41 Bibliography…………………………...…………………….………...…….....43 Vita…………………………………..….……………………………….…………..45

iv CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION “Now, this is a story all about how, my life got flipped- turned upside down. And I like to take a minute. Just sit right there I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air.” William Smith

There’s something about the art of storytelling that I’m attracted to. A writer, whose name I’ve forgotten, once remarked that the currency of the world was stories. Our ancestors would trade tales around the fire. It was an oral tradition, verbal history passed from elders to the next generation, a remembrance of the past preserved in words. I remembered my father reading to me The Wind In The Willows when I was a child and ever so often I would ask him questions like what is whitewash or what does “marsh” mean? Some of these words and ideas were foreign to my father that he provided more hemming and hawing than explanations. In the end, he feigned exhaustion and cut short our story. That was the first and last time he ever read to me. So, I took it upon myself to read and that habit carried throughout my life. I am a voracious reader and there was little doubt that I would eventually settle into some aspect of writing. But I didn’t think I could be a writer. There was always the underlying fear that I could never be as great as the

1 authors whose work I read. So, I chose the next best alternative - I graduated with a Mass Communication degree with an interest in copywriting. My mother wasn’t surprised. She once told me that when I was a wee lad, no taller than her knee, I would often pay more attention to the commercials than the actual programming itself. But I was interested in copywriting because it’s another form of storytelling. The ads that I’m often drawn to are the ones that had a beginning, middle and end so not only does the ad have to persuade the consumer to buy the product, it also had to tell a story within a 30-second spot. Eventually, I landed up at the University of Texas at Austin’s film program. I wanted to be a director but the only resources available to me within budget were a pirated copy of Final Draft, scrap paper and a pen. Screenwriting was a cheaper option. And that eventually lead to writing Muhahaha.

CHAPTER 2: WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR IDEAS? “You want ideas? You want dreams? You want stories? Then ideas you will have. Ideas in abundance.” Dream from The Sandman, Calliope

D.C. comics have an adult imprint called Vertigo and it was geared towards the mature readers who tire from muscled superheroes beating up the bad guys and long for a more sophisticate reading fare. One of Vertigo’s more popular series was Sandman written by Neil Gaiman. There was a story arc about Murdoc, a writer, who captured Calliope, one of the seven Muses, to inspire him. After writing several bestsellers, Murdoc is visited by Morpheus, a dream deity, who was also Calliope’s ex-lover. Because of certain rules, Morpheus is unable to free Calliope; she has to be release at Murdoc’s whim. Murdoc tells Morpheus that he cannot do so because he needs the ideas. Morpeheus, who ruled the Dreamscapes and all the imaginings within, grants him his wish and ideas come at him in torrents. It got so bad that when Murdoc ran out of ink to record his ideas, he used his own blood. In the end, the flow of ideas renders him an insomniac and Murdoc became a shell of a human being. I’m intrigued as to how writers come up with their own ideas for books. I used to maintain a blog where I ask writers this one simple question – where do you get your ideas?

3 Answers ranged from scholarly essays to simple tongue- in-cheek quips. But basically what I gathered from all the responses is that ideas can be found anywhere. It’s that simple. Interact with the world long enough and you start to see a story in the random pattern of things. I have a Moleskine that I record every idea for a story to write. This habit formed after an episode when I woke up with an idea but put off writing it. Morning arrived and when I tried to jot down the idea, I could not remember it. To this day, I have no recollection of what it was and it still bugs me to this day. One of the biggest wellsprings I drink from for inspiration is the Internet. I surf the Internet a lot. I tell people it’s for research purposes but I usually spend hours trolling for LOL cats and torrents. Needless to say, my productivity has been found wanting at best. Then one day, during one of my surfing session, I came across this Craig’s List gem. Here is a transcription.

I’ve been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I’m 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings [sic] missing. I feel like I’m old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I’m willing to pay $350 up front and $350 after six months for you [sic]

4 services as an arch enemy. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im [sic] running to catch the Go train and occasionaly [sic] whisper in my ear, “Ahha, we meet again”. That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous [sic] pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

This struck me as an amusing Internet distraction and I didn’t think any more of it but a month later, during Richard Lewis’ Writing For Film & Electronic Media class, we were supposed to come up with several premises for the script we’re to write. During my term in grad school, I made it a point to try and write films of different genres and for Richard’s class; I wanted to write something that’s commercial, something that I can sell. I fielded several ideas that would make good commercial movies and settled on a premise of a serial killer who kills other serial killer. It didn’t dawn on me that the concept was similar to the TV series, Dexter. After two weeks of trying to mold the idea into something I can work with, I gave up. The story wasn’t

5 working and I panicked. I didn’t want to write something for the next three month that I don’t have my heart set on. And out of the blue, the Craig’s List ad came to the rescue. It was very unusual in the fact that this was a rare moment where the idea already had a shape to it. I knew what needed to be in there; the idea immediately opened all sorts of possibilities and I was able to tap into my inner comic book geek into shaping the story. And I wasn’t the only one to think that this idea could be worth a price of a movie admission ticket – the rest of the workshop agreed. It was high-concept and the premise was fertile ground for humor. What could possibly hinder me?

CHAPTER 3: THE PROCESS “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” Mel Brooks

I’ve never written a comedy. I’ve done stand-up back in my college days in Oklahoma City University but writing a 90- minute punchline wasn’t going to cut it. Also, I’ve eclectic tastes in what I find funny. I like Jackass. I think what they do is so beyond lowbrow that it’s considered an art form. Without fail, I would always laugh at Blake Edwards’ The Party, with Peter Sellers uttering, “birdie num num” and retrieving his shoe and staring helplessly at an unspooling toilet roll. Other things I find hilarious fall along the lines of British humor. Because of my taste in humor, there’s this underlying fear that people won’t laugh because either they don’t get it or they think it’s in poor taste and having people tell you that you’re not funny is a far worse death than people telling you they hate you. I felt that this would be harder in making a commercial film as it’s supposed to have broad appeal and not only be accessible to a niche. Given that I do not find 90% of mainstream comedy films to be funny, my finger may not be on the beating pulse of the public. On further inspection, I find that my comedy mostly derive from dialogue. I have a Moleskine where I record down

7 one-liners or witticism just so I can avoid an l'esprit d'escalier (The Spirit of the Staircase) moment. If I’m met with a taunt, I would always have a retort at hand but then, the script almost felt like a radio show. It needed to have elements of slapstick to really take advantage of the visual medium. This meant revisiting Peter Sellers movies for research, which I have no problems with. Another problem is to fine-tune the story. The broad idea is that the protagonist hires an archenemy to add some spice in his life. Now I needed to distill it. I wanted to move away from the original Craig’s List idea and push in on the idea that someone needed to be tormented for inspiration. Pain is funny. That’s why Jackass appeals to me. That’s why the waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin elicit laughs. This should be a cakewalk but I needed to find the gags to inspire Seth, so that he’ll create. And the whole hurt-to-inspire concept seemed abstract because how does one visually portray inspiration? Easy – infuse the comic book world into the real world. When Seth gets tormented, he goes to work and we, the audience, get to see it play out. Now this solution comes with its own set or problems. If were to introduce a comic book world, it needs to already be established, therefore I needed to create a comic book world from the ground up (or at least the broad basic foundation of he comic book world). Looks like I have my work cut out for me. This is how I usually write a screenplay. I plot it out in my head; write down a brief synopsis then I pad it with other

8 details and moments until I have a rough outline. At this point, I already know how the story would go so without more tweaking on the outline, I quickly move to writing the script. In fact, some times, I would drafting out the screenplay at the same time I’, writing out the outline. Without a solid outline, this meant that revisions down the line are painfully laborious. Another concern I had with writing this was to highlight the sophistication of comic books but without being preachy. I’ve a personal attachment to the script (see Personal History) and thought it would be a good opportunity for me to get on my soapbox and extol the virtues of comic book reading. There was a scene where Seth confronts someone about comic books as serious literature and even though it was a scaled-back version, it still felt like propaganda so I took it out.

RESEARCH Even though the premise may seem fantastical, I wanted to ground this in reality as much as possible; after all, Jacob retreats into his fantasy world to escape his travails of the real world. So, I needed to see how far could Jacob actually terrorize Seth before it’s considered actual… well, terrorism. See, because of his secret identity as Seth’s archenemy, there needed to be a change in Jacob’s personality from a shy nerd to a confident rabble-rouser and because of that at some point that would get him into trouble. I planned for Jacob to be suspended from high school or arrested or both but it needed to be something felonious that would warrant that. One of the ideas I threw out was that because of Jacob’s personality shift, he was suspected of planning to shoot up the school. It was supposed to be a rumor (not an actuality) that gets him suspended but my peers didn’t think that would be very tasteful. Oh well, back to the drawing board… I had to find out about the Comic-Con. I had never been to Comic-Con and only knew of it as a stereotype of a convention filled with the unwashed virgin nerd masses. I looked up the history and the people that usually frequent the joint but it was hard finding some other “positive” ways to portray Comic-Con other than it’s a geek convention. For Jacob’s terrorizing, I reviewed the entire series of Jackass for plausible pranks. In this case, this is good research material. People laugh at Jackass because it’s a

10 bunch of (usually) drunk guys hurting themselves (remember pain equals to comedy formula?). Seth will be pulled through the wringer and I wanted it to be other than cliché nut shots. It needed to be casual - Jacob’s pranks affect Seth’s imagination and he draws out a scene of the Evening Sentinel that’s based (loosely) on the actual terrorizing. I also dive into the world of Rube Goldberg, especially the language of how they would describe the mechanics without being too verbose.

CHARACTERS “… His name is Robert Paulson.” Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Like most things, it starts with a name. Michael Chabon, author of The Amazing Kavalier and Clay and The Yiddish Policemen’s Union wrote an essay in The Washington Post Book World positing the connection between novels and golems (in Jewish folklore, golems are inanimated clay beings brought to life by being fed with incantation on a parchment. While the crux of the essay is about the author’s fears that whatever he writes will often be misconstrued as a reflection on his character, my interpretation of the essay was that words give things life. When I came up with Muhahaha for the title, I already know the tone of the movie. Having that title before the story helped write the story. So, in a roundabout way, my characters aren’t truly whole unless I have a name for them and in turn the very appellation is also what shapes them. My protagonist is Seth Fishell. He was named after a real-life comic book illustrator, Seth Fisher, who died after a seventh-storey fall off a roof in Osaka, Japan. For the purpose of the script, I had Seth also be a writer along with his writing hat. Here is an early description –

Fisher writes and draws comic books, or as he always calls it, graphic novels. He has written

12 several books, mostly about superheroes, one of which, is adapted into a movie. Fisher is considered a man child – a fully- functioning adult, who still revels in the adolescent pastime of video games and lazing around, while shirking more important responsibilities. He coasts on his newfound fame as a graphic novelist. But lately his work has been lacking. He knows it, his critics know it, his fans know it. Fisher is suddenly the whipping boy, the “guy who lost it.” At his 35th birthday party, Fisher realized he hasn’t gained any accolades just profits. He wants to make some sense of it all. So now, Fisher wants to return to the throne, he also wants the respect from other “serious” writers of novels. He wants to write the next American (graphic) novel. But that creativity is impeded by a serious case of writer’s block.

Initially, because of a mid-life crisis, Seth wanted to regain respect in the literary world by writing his magnum opus but that felt contrived. Also, it makes the protagonist seem old. I made him be in his mid-thirties. Jacob was a little easier to write. There might be a little bit of myself in him but not much, if you’re trying to read something into his character about me. Stop psychoanalyzing.

13 I gave him the last name Moriarty, after Sherlock Holmes’ greatest nemesis, and made him into a social outcast at his high school. Here’s my description of him.

Nebbish, a comic book aficionado. He rather poke his nose into a 4-panel page than focus on other things that a teenager his age would be interested in (ie. boobs). He does all right in school. He has his own clique, the unpopular kind, but still, he’s surrounded by his own peers. Jacob also has a crush on this Goth girl, who works in a comic book store. Ah, young love. Jacob, often retreats into his imagination, as a super-villain, which is caused by the constant haranguing by the local bullies and head shaking from his teachers for his vivid imaginings. But not even his surname can add credibility to his super villainy.

The one thing about Jacob is that he’s poured from the same mold as every other awkward teenager from every teenage film. It’s a cliché and I hate falling into that pitfall. In later drafts of Jacob’s character, I had him turn to comic books as a refuge to flee his bullied life in high school. Comic books are a source of escapism for him and it makes it easier for us to believe when Jacob sympathizes with the villain instead of the hero. In comic books, the villains are often portrayed as social misfits who turned to a life of crime. In better comic books, the villains are imbued with a humanity

14 that Jacob can relate to. These villains are not broad caricatures but individuals with depths. That’s why Jacob is a fan of Seth’s work because Seth doesn’t fall prey to common comic book trope. Now we come to the romantic interests. Seth’s love life was complicated. I wanted him to be romantically linked, but because of his obsession with the graphic novel, his relationship dissolves and he fights to get back his girl. I also know that if Seth was a famous comic book creator, he needed a manager / agent. I wanted to make that person a woman because you don’t get to see much female manager / agent types. Here’s where it got complicated. Some people in the workshop suggested making Gemma the manager a love interest for Seth. I really resisted the idea because… well, I’m not sure why. I already had a love interest for Seth already and her name is Rebecca (later named Mel in subsequent revisions). But my cohorts were right. Gemma was a stronger personality than Rebecca and it made sense to have her be Seth’s romantic interest. The Goth Girl was supposed to be a minor role, thus the appellation “Goth Girl” but after fleshing her out, she deserved a name – Pandora Nightshade – and her own storyline. As the snarky one, Pandora was also the Voice of Reason to Jacob. I also had to come up with new characters for the comic book world. Starting with The Evening Sentinel who is chosen by the City to be its champion against darkness. I wanted to parody him as Christian Bale’s Batman – no powers, just

15 awesome athleticism and always shouting. Note that his moniker, The Evening Sentinel, can be mistaken for a newspaper. It was supposed to be a satirical take on groan- inducing superhero names from the comic books. In the end, I made The Evening Sentinel a sympathetic hero who tires from doing the same job over and over again. But Richard wanted to see actual superpowers and for a moment I was stuck. I don’t know what kind of cool powers to give him. After playing around with a few abilities, I settled on some weird symbiosis of shadow manipulation and a healing factor. Now I need a worthy adversary for The Evening Sentinel. Remembering the adage, “the hero is only as good as the villain,” I had to create someone worthy. I settled on Dr. Opprobrious, a mad scientist. His steampunk aesthetic and attitude was loosely inspired by Warren Ellis’ Dr. Sleepless. I also needed one more opponent for The Evening Sentinel that was able to hold his own. This was also supposed to be Seth’s inspiration from all the terrorizing from his own personal Nemesis. This comic book version of Nemesis needed to be hip and slicker. I had him don Dr. Opprobrious’ airship goggles and in later drafts, was able to have him draw sigils to retrieve any weapons he needs.

REVISION, REVISION, REVISION “The wastebasket is the writer’s best friend.” Isaac Singer

This script underwent… oh, I don’t know. I lost count how many revisions it went through but let’s count the ways, shall we? This is how the initial outline of the script went, typos and all. Caution: it is very bad. Readers of a delicate constitution, skip it. Kids, you’re better off watching an R- rated flick. Pregnant women might want to reconsider.

Act 1 1) Open with a trailer for the movie adaptation of a superhero graphic novel. We pull out to reveal SETH FISHER, 35, crying in the bathroom. He greets the rabid fanboy audience at Comic-Con. Later at a signing, he gets into an altercation with a fan, who presses him about when he is going the next book. 2) We focus on a day in the life of JACOB MORIATY – social misfit, picked upon by the bullies and his teachers. His only respite is going to the comic book store every Wednesday because of the latest solicitations. Also, the cute Goth chick who works there.

17 3) Fisher has lunch with his agent, GEMMA TOSH. They talk about his work or lack thereof. He cites writer’s block. Tosh asks if he’s excited for his upcoming birthday. He’s not. He is confronted with how old he is and has nothing to show for. He wishes he had a little excitement in his life. Tosh suggest spicing up the love life. 4) Fisher tries to spice things up with his girlfriend, MELANIE. It doesn’t go well. 5) Jacob is in the office of the school counselor. We find out through the exchange how Jacob would rather be in a comic book world or something. Jacob also mentions how he identifies with Dr. Iniquitous, a supervillain in a Fisher’s comic book. 6) Fisher works on the treadmill at the gym. Tosh also exercises with him. He tells Tosh that her idea about spicing up the love life is a horrible idea. He has broken up with Mel. Tosh says she’ll make it up to him. 7) Somehow this leads to Tosh interviewing candidates to be Fisher’s supervillian. This is meant to be Fisher’s birthday gift. After many interviewees, she settles on Jacob. 8) Fisher tries to write, he can’t. He decides to go to the local writer’s workshop to help him. He meets REBECCA ROOKER. He’s smitten but she thinks him working in comic books isn’t an attractive quality. He sets out to prove her wrong.

18 9) Fisher goes to his car; surprised to see a paper underneath his windshield wiper. The note reads, “BEHOLD YOUR TIME IS NIGH.” It’s signed Dr. Iniquitous. Fisher looks around, oblivious that Tosh and Jacob are watching him from their car many feet away.

Act 2 10) A montage of the misfortunes inflicted on Fisher. Small things like a flat tire or a mailbox filled with advertisements for a penis enlargement and mail order brides. 11) While Fisher is puzzled by the recent spate of occurrences, he’s able to write. He starts on the first few pages of his graphic novel. His relationship with Rebecca improves. He gets to impress her with his prose; she gets to impress him with her knowledge of British comedy. 12) By his villainous actions, Jacob’s confidence goes up as well. With his new identity, Jacob is able to stand up to the bullies but he’s unable to get the attention of he Goth girl at the comic book store. 13) Tosh introduce Jacob to Fisher under the cover that Jacob is to assist Fisher in the work of his new graphic novel but unbeknownst to Fisher, this is all part of Jacob’s plan. 14) The supervillainy upon Fisher continues but it keeps him on his toes. He takes Jacob out for a meal. They talk. Jacob confides in Fisher about the

19 Goth girl and Fisher confides in Jacob about his fears of not achieving anything great in life. 15) Fisher and Rebecca go on a date. They talk. They discover more about each other. 16) The next night, Fisher accidentally discovers Jacob TPing his house. Fisher puts 2 and 2 together and accepts that’s probably for the best. 17) The schtick continues until Fisher spots the Goth girl at the mall and talks to her about Jacob. She’s friendly with him and Jacob, who’s spying from afar mistakes this as Fisher cockblocking him. 18) The gloves are off and Jacob inflicts worst things on him – bees in his room, taking out the brakes of his car (shit, I just wrote Rushmore). Fisher tells him to stop with the shenanigans but do you think Jacob would listen? Noooo. So, Fisher now retaliates. This goes back and forth, no one gets the upper hand. Finally, Fisher calls Jacob’s principal about a possible school shooting. They find plans in Jacob’s house (plans meant for Fisher) and mistake his anti-social behavior as a probable Columbine-wannabe. 19) But Jacob has the last laugh. While working for Fisher, he manages to steer him into creating a graphic novel that’s similar to another small-press graphic novel. Fisher discovers this ruse before it hits the printer but this means that he has wasted

20 7 months. His publisher drops him for the lack of work.

Act 3 20) The two men’s lives are shit and they are not speaking to one another. Tosh decides to cheer Fisher up, plays villain to him but ends up killing his cat. 21) At this point, Fisher (with the aid of Rebecca) has an epiphany – he’s much happier when he had Jacob as a friend. 22) He looks for Jacob but finds out he is in a mental institute for observation. Even by telling the proper authorities that Jacob isn’t the high school terrorist, Jacob still needs to be placed under observation. 23) He sees Jacob and they talked about – ugh – their feelings or something. Fisher vows to free him. 24) Later that week, Fisher literally breaks him out but they got caught and Fisher is thrown in jail. He finds out that Jacob’s internment at the mental institute is actually by Jacob’s request because that’s where most comic book supervillain eventually ends up. Tosh bails Fisher out. He sees Jacob waiting outside for him. 25) The two men talk and reconcile. 26) Fisher works on a new graphic novel and has it independently printed. The graphic novel is

21 dedicated to Jacob, who manages to gain confidence and asks the Goth girl out.

Still here? Great. If the outline above doesn’t give you a clear picture of the story, that’s roughly how everybody felt when I revealed the outline. One of the many glaring problems is the lack of an escalation in Jacob’s terrorizing on Seth. I mentioned that he started small but as the movie drags on, the actions were still miniscule. There’s never thing of worth at stake. It felt needlessly complicated. I needed to streamline the story. I drew from Rushmore the battle scene between Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray. It was supposed to be a subtle homage but once I had Seth going after Jacob’s Goth Girl, it as almost a step away from plagiarism. There was also the issue of killing the cat. Apparently cruelty to animals is a no-no but cruelty to humans is all right. Go figure. Richard said something that stuck with me – “a hero is only as good as his villain” and I realized that I was going about this the wrong-way. This needed to be about Seth being inspired not because he has a mid-life crisis. It also made Seth a little whiney. The following is just a small staple of Seth’s constant “woe-is-me” polemics:

INT. LE-BOWL-SKI ALLEY - DAY Seth nurses a WHITE RUSSIAN at the counter. He’s red-faced and smashed. In the b.g. TWO MEN bowl.

SETH I’m thirty-five and what do I have to show? A comic book that everybody hates. GEMMA Not everyone hates it. SETH My life’s monotonous. It’s the same day in, day out. I need excitement. Maybe bungee jumping or... or unprotected sex...

Expositional, no? Just by this scene alone, I hated Seth and his crybaby mentality. In later revision, that was changed. There are inside jokes in my script like Mr. Pink’s Taco, based on Steve Buscemi’s Mr. Pink character going into the dining business; Le-Bowl-Ski Alley, based on The Big Lebowski and Walken Roll, a Honky Tonk bar with all music sung in Christopher Walken’s fashion. While funny, they were too distracting and I took them out. Anyway, I took all the feedback from the workshop and took another crack at the outline and this was what I came up with. It’s slightly better than the last one but still not up to snuff. Here’s the next outline, typos and all.

23 Act 1 1) Open with the dark city skyline and The Evening Sentinel fighting with Dr. Opprobrious. 2) We pull back to realize it’s a comic book panel. We’re introduced to the readers - JACOB MORIATY and SHINZO, rabid fans of The Evening Sentinel. PANDORA, who works at the comic book store, thinks otherwise. 3) Cut to Seth, who has trouble writing the new Evening Sentinel. His agent, GEMMA TOSH comes to his house tells him what’s what and cautions him to get to work soon. He doesn’t. 4) Jacob and Shizo are victims to Big Ron’s bullying. 5) Jacob, Shinzo and Pandora gatecrash Seth’s birthday party. They drink and an inebriated Jacob tells Seth that the Evening Sentinel series used to be good but now it’s shit, 6) Next day at school, a hung over Jacob laments at telling his hero off. Shinzo cheers him up by taking him to the comic book store where they expect the latest Evening Sentinel to go on sale. 7) Cut to a comic book of The Evening Sentinel chasing down Dr. Opprobrious and then the rest of the comic book is filled with empty speech balloons. 8) Cut to a speechless Gemma, who had just read the monstrosity. She goes to find Seth at a

24 bowling alley drowning his sorrows in beer. She consoles him. He wants some excitement in his life and proceeds to shit on the bowling lane. He’s knocked out by an errant ball from one of the players. 9) After this comic book debacle, Shinzo swears off the Evening Sentinel while Jacob sticks with it. He decides to terrorize Seth to help him. 10) Jacob throws a rock through Seth’s window. The note attached to the rock reads, “BEHOLD YOUR TIME IS NIGH.” It’s signed Nemesis. The gauntlet has been thrown.

Act 2 11) A montage of the misfortunes inflicted on Seth. Small things like a flat tire or a mailbox filled with advertisements for a penis enlargement and mail order brides. 12) While Seth is puzzled by the recent spate of occurrences, he’s able to write. He starts on the first few pages of his graphic novel. He meets MEL CASTLE at a writer’s workshop and finds out she scoffs at comic book as serious literature. Seth vows to change her mind by finishing his graphic novel in order to win her heart and respect. 13) By his villainous actions, Jacob’s confidence goes up as well. With his new identity, Jacob is able to stand up to the bullies but he’s unable to get the attention of Pandora.

25 14) Jacob take Pandora out on one of his stakeouts on Seth. Pandora discovers what Jacob is doing and is smitten with him, because she’s into bad boys. They make out. 15) Seth finds out who has been terrorizing him when he finds Jacob trespassing on his property. Instead of reporting him to the police, he decides to hire him as his arch nemesis. 16) A montage of escalated terrorizing. 17) After several days of working, Seth wants to get away with Mel. 18) Seth takes Mel to an amusement park where he’s taunted by the mascot (hired by Jacob). Things get worse when Mel is hurt in an airbag prank. 19) Seth confronts Jacob, tells him that hurting Mel was crossing the line. Heated words were exchanged and there’s a declaration of war. 20) The gloves are off and the two men trade pranks on each other. Jacob sets off fireworks in Seth’s house and Seth sets the police n Jacob for vandalism. 21) Jacob is held by the police. His mother is disappointed in him. 22) Without Jacob, Seth’s inspiration has plummeted to nada. 23) Even though he’s under house arrest, Jacob sill wants to help Seth. He escapes.

Act 3 24) Seth tries to inspire himself by hiring a life coach. This life coach is crazy and almost kills Seth. 25) Jacob kidnaps Mel and steals the unfinished manuscript. He asks Seth to come alone to the school gym. 26) Seth makes it, sees an elaborate Rube Goldberg contraption. On one end Mel tied to a chair, at the other end his unfinished manuscript. Seth must choose who to save. 27) The Rube Goldberg contraption goes live. Seth chooses Mel and watches his work go up in flames. 28) Jacob tells Seth that that wasn’t the real manuscript. In fact, this entire contraption was for Seth’s benefit, to inspire him. Seth laughs maniacally. He finally knows how to end the series. 29) A year later. We see a live-action Evening Sentinel movie that was based on Seth’s new graphic novel. 30) Seth and Jacob meet once more at Comic- Con. This time Jacob has opened a business of being other people’s archnemesis. Seth thinks it’s a bad idea. 31) Later, during a TV interview someone asked Seth, what’s with the delay of the next Evening

27 Sentinel installment? Seth doesn’t answer but someone shout, is it writer’s block? Seth laughs nervously while Jacob in the crowd laughs maniacally.

The workshop found this draft much better than the last but still have issues with the stakes, the escalation of the terrorizing and Seth’s romance. It seemed that the bulk of the problems lies with Seth and his love life. It took much hair- pulling to actually come to terms with making Gemma the girlfriend and taking Mel out entirely. When I did that, Gemma was still Seth’s manager and even though she was his moll, she was more manager than girlfriend material. I needed to scale back the manager side or take it out entirely. In the latest draft, I made the non- managing Gemma as Seth’s girlfriend. Then, there’s the issue of tone. Alisha Brophy always gives me grief whenever I have scatological jokes in my scripts. I’m not sure if it’s because of her X-Chromosomes or that she has good taste. I bowdlerize the more explicit version to this:

INT. LE-BOWL-SKI ALLEY - DAY Seth stands, almost falls over. Gemma helps him up.

SETH (CONT’D) I’m gonna do something wild and cuh- razy.

28 (beat) I’m gonna take a shit on the bowling lane.

GEMMA Eh? Seth stumbles toward the only active bowling lane. He fumbles with his BELT. He interrupts the two men’s game. MEN 1 Hey! Whatcha doing?

Gemma tries to halt Seth as he stops in the middle of the lane. He unzips. Gemma lunges at him, pushes him. Seth slips, falls and knock himself unconscious. Gemma checks on him.

MEN 2 (O.S.) Is he okay?

MEN 1 (O.S.) Should have worn regulation shoes.

Even with this version, Brophy still wasn’t satisfied. In future drafts, I took out the entire scene because on hindsight, she might have been right. It always pains me to take out stuff that I had found funny, which brings me to this…

29 “Murder your darlings.” Arthur Quiller-Couch

Or “kill your darlings” or “kill your babies.” Writers hear it all the time – if certain beloved elements aren’t working within the context of the story, have courage and take it out. I had to kill so many of my beloved children that I was feeling a little like King Herod. In the first draft, after Seth fires Jacob as his archenemy, he’s stuck creatively, with no idea how to proceed with his work. Seth attempts several methods for inspiration. I wanted these actions to be a feeble copy to Jacob’s menacing, to Jacob’s methods and among the He enlisted the help of a life coach and there was a sequence where the life coach (Alex) torments Seth by trapping him in a burlap sack and kicking him into the water.

INT. SETH’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER A disgruntled Seth is in a BURLAP SACK, his head, the only appendage that pops out. Alex finishes writing the word womb on the sack.

ALEX Excellent! Now your journey begins with a step as the wilt bamboo be cleaved even.

SETH

30 You do know what you just said isn’t technically a sentence.

ALEX Ha-ha! Creativity stems from chaos. Birth and creation is synonymous, thus we need to reenact your violent coming into the world.

SETH This... this is stupid. Why is my head popping out of the -- (looks down at the sack) -- “womb” to begin with? Shouldn’t the whole of the baby be inside the- Alex pushes Seth’s head into the sack.

ALEX Good idea. Remember the howling wind doesn’t placate the playful kitten.

Alex ties up the sack and drags it out the front door.

EXT. SETH’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Alex lifts the struggling sack into the trunk of HIS

31 CAR.

EXT. STREETS - CONTINUOUS Alex drives through traffic.

INT. PUBLIC POOL - LATER Alex stands before the upright still struggling sack near the pool.

ALEX I will help you achieve your personal goal!

Alex kicks the sack into the water. He raises his arms.

ALEX (CONT’D) Now emerge.

The sack sinks to the bottom. Bubbles break the surface. Silence stretches out.

Alex was a hit with the workshop but his presence wasn’t gelling with the rest of the script. There was also a major plot hole - if Seth derives inspiration from being hurt, wouldn’t Alex be helping him? Jacob was supposed to be the only salvation to Seth’s predicament. Alex helping Jacob isn’t helping the script’s direction.

32 I also had to get rid of Shinzo in later revisions. Originally, Shinzo was supposed to be the Igor to Jacob’s villain personae but with Pandora in the picture, her personality seem to overshadows Shinzo’s (again with the overpowering characters). Now, most of the time, my revision of the script is wholly dependent on feedback from workshop but recently, I realized that there’s another method to editing…

“The way I write is that I’ll actually have a conversation out loud with myself.” Zach Braff Muhahaha was selected for the Radio-Television-Film department’s inaugural Hollywood Screenwriter Showcase. This meant that I had to pitch Muhahaha to veterans in the film industry. I’ve never pitched- no, scratch that. I did pitched and it was such a disaster that it took a lot of patching to my deflated ego for me to even look anyone in the eye. See, we heard about the next year screenwriters pitching to industry people that Stuart Kelban had brought in. We were bitching as to why we were not afforded the same courtesy as well? We had never pitched and it was a requisite in Hollywood. So, Richard brought in his writing partner, UT grad and former Screen Gems producer Chad Keller to hear our pitches. Seeing Matt Dunn go before me and shot down so

33 badly that my nerves got the better of me and I was the next to bite the dust. I sucked at pitching. It cast doubt on whether or not I even had a grasp on the story but with a little help from my friends, I managed to pull off an immaculate pitch session for the Hollywood Showcase. I practiced and practiced and practiced to a point where I’m ready for Carnegie Hall. And here’s what I stumbled upon – in pitching, one had to reduce a 90-plus page script down to a five-minute pitch. This means, only the bare essential is needed. Doing so, means having to cut off the extraneous parts and because of that I had to alter the story. And what do you know? The story in the pitch flowed much smoother and was better than the script itself. And once more, I revised the script. I whittled my screenplay down from 116 pages to 96 pages and by then, I felt that it’s ready to be read by industry professionals. It doesn’t reek of inadequacy. It was somewhat decent. I recommend recitation of the pitch out loud just to hear yourself describe the premises and the beats of the story. If it sounds well, it should read well. Who knew that practicing to pitch would yield this much quality from my screenplay? Looking back, the journey for Muhahaha to get to this point was long and hard. My journey at UT was much longer and harder.

34 CHAPTER 3: THE UT EXPERIENCE It was 2005 and I graduated with a Mass Communications degree from Oklahoma City University. I rushed headlong into a short-lived career as an adman in Washington, D.C. So, ill-equipped and out of my element, I had to work in a Safeway delicatessen to pay my rent. That was a very long year. At the time, I decided to write my first screenplay. I finished a narrative feature within a month and a half to meet the Nicholl’s Fellowship deadline. I also sent out a query letter with my screenplay to various agencies and production companies, something you’re not supposed to do but I was young and youth is always pitted with follies. But someone did reply to my query letter. Gina Duncan, an assistant to a literary agent, came across my screenplay and complemented it. She also urged me to attend a graduate school to hone my writing. At the time, I had already written several screenplays and I sent in my application and I was accepted and here I am, writing this report on the eleventh hour in my final semester of my Screenwriting program.

“’Begin at the beginning,’ the King said, very gravely, ‘and go on till you come to the end: then stop.’” Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

When I first started the first year of grad school in screenwriting, it was with certain trepidation. I was quiet and

35 I was sizing up my fellow classmates. There’s this nagging fear at the back of my noggin, what if I fail at this? See, I suspect that the reason it took this long for me to go into writing is that I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid to discover that I suck at writing. By put off my writing career, I wouldn’t have to face the horrible truth. But I quickly got into the groove of things and I was, dare I say it, excited by the unknown that the screenwriting program would offer me. It was Alex Smith’s class and we were supposed to come up with several ideas and funnel them down to one story to write. I had several and just for fun toss out this ludicrous idea, never expecting it to resonate among my peers. Soon, I was writing a screenplay about two pedophiles falling in love with each other. And it’s a comedy. Holy hell. Can you say fallout? Because ever since I’m embarked on this storyline, every week during workshop, I keep getting grief that this was an unfilmable script. I’m inclined to agree. I mean, how does one make light of a situation such as pedophilia and yet maintain the gravitas of it? This would only work in the hands of a veteran writer and I’m no veteran writer. And that was how I wasted two semesters writing a pedophile script that I eventually junked. If there was ever a costly mistake to learn from, that was it. I could have been writing something of worth but instead I’m saddled with something that I should have had the stones to refuse. Things got a little better with TV writing but the best was being a Teaching Assistant. I always harbored

36 aspirations to torture, I mean… teach. It was nerve-racking at first but I had to show no fear on the first day. Maybe you can tell how nervous I was in the straining of my voice but who can really tell under that accent? I’m going to fish from the cliché pond but teaching people about screenwriting also taught me new lessons in screenwriting. When I prepare my lesson plan, I would sit down and dissect what’s in front of me and then reintegrate it so that the students would understand. This is turn helps me to see screenwriting in a new light. Take the lesson of exposition, for instance. Granted that every first-time screenwriter would fall victim to exposition but I tried to get that across by showing the BBC pilot of Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace. Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace is actually a satire of the old horror TV shows so the dialogue and actions were purposely written terribly. Loads of exposition and non- sequiter made it hilarious and in my experience, people tend to absorb more if the lesson is funny. I’ve learned a lot from my two years at UT. It’s an invaluable learning experience that I can use in a teaching capacity if this screenwriting doesn’t pan out. Now I’m interning at two production houses and making contacts. I’ve traveled halfway across the world and I’m not wasting this opportunity. I’m determined to succeed.

37 CHAPTER 4: PERSONAL HISTORY “I despise the comic industry, but I will always love the comic medium.” Alan Moore I read my first comic book when I was hospitalized for low white palettes count. This ailment was dire because it meant that if I were to be cut, I would BLEED TO DEATH! At that time, I read a lot on the condition and boy, the European monarchy really had it bad with hemophilia. I was confined to bed rest, the safest place one can be without getting sliced by sharp corners and wayward syringes. I was bored, bored, Chairman of the Bored. To pass the time, I read the comic books that my father left for me. I still remember that issue of Wonder Woman where she had to contend with the villainous Dr. Psycho. I had no idea why Wonder Woman was dressed like somebody’s S&M fantasy made real or why anyone would grant a doctorate to someone with the last name Psycho, but I was caught up in the story and the artwork. I even read comic books even past curfew when it was lights out at the hospital. It explains why I wear contact lenses. I began reading more comics, mostly your superhero staple. I had a comic book store that I would frequent every Thursday in Singapore when the latest shipment arrived. It was around this time that I stupidly joined the ranks of people buying up limited edition comic book variants. I would place these comic books in polyethylene bag with an

38 acid-free cardboard and shelve them away into boxes like a dragon would hoard its gold. The joy of reading comic books was snuffed out. I bought comic books as an investment and it was a piss-poor investment as the collector bubble burst and the interest in comic books waned. After that I didn’t read any more comic book let alone step into a comic book store. It was a costly endeavor and I didn’t have the funds for it. Part of the decision was also because I discovered girls. I think it was a year or two later when I returned to comic books. I discovered comic books that weren’t your superhero fare. Alan Moore, a doyen in comic book writing, subverted the superhero genre and crafted a story of what lies behind the cape and cowl. He delved into the psychology of why someone would dress up in a costume and battle crime. He explored issues regarding the superhero complex, whether these spandex gods who were faster than a speeding bullet and able to leap tall buildings in a single jump are also as human as the people they were trying to save. From Moore, I read other works by Neil Gaiman, Grant Morrison, Warren Ellis and Brian K. Vaughan. These were masters at their craft. Storytellers in a four-color paneled world. But they were attached to mainstream giants like Marvel and D.C. There were other comic books out there, alternative presses like Robert Crumb and Harvey Pekar that I haven’t tuned to yet. I still read superhero comics but since then, my horizons have been broaden and now I’ve also taken a shine for independent press comics like Jeffrey Brown’s teenage

39 angst-driven Girlfriend Trilogy and Chris Ware’s leitmotif of flawed human beings, Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid On Earth. I have a better appreciation for the comic book medium and I don’t shy away from it being serious literature. If the Japanese can embrace their comic books (manga) why can’t the Americans? There’s always a stigma that comic books are juvenile and I attempt to refute that every chance I get. I feel that comic book medium is the perfect synergy of images and words, the in-between of films and books. Moore sees potential in the medium so much so that he created Watchmen with illustrator Dave Gibbons that fully utilizes the medium. The fact, that someone had the audacity to faithfully adapt Watchmen into a movie shows how much of a point they missed. Man, even in this thesis report, the heart on my sleeve is showing. Writing Muhahaha allows me a chance to finally write a story that showcase comic books and its faithful consumers in a new and better light. I often seen comic book aficionados portrayed as pathetic losers on the big screen and I want to bring out the positive aspects of the culture. If anything, Muhahaha is a love letter to the comic book movement.

40 CHAPTER 6: What Now? Man, I ask that question every day since moving out to L.A. Right. So Muhahaha was selected for the Radio- Television-Film department’s Hollywood Screenwriter Showcase. This allow me an opportunity to meet with two film producers / managers / agents and pitched my script to them. The response from the first meeting with the manager was lukewarm but the second meeting with Shannon Gaulding, Senior VP of Productions at Screen Gems, went much better. I was a little leery when I first stepped into her office but that feeling passed as I went into the pitch. She responded well to the comedic beats of the story. She never broke her attention from the pitch. I had her every step of the way. After all was said and done, she told me to send her the script once I’m finished with it. I gestured to the brown paper bag containing the finished script on my lap and said that I already did. There was a brief look of surprise on her face. “Really?” she said as she nodded to the paper bag, “I thought you came from the comic book store.” She took the script and said she’ll read it over the weekend. She handed me her name card and told me to send her any other scripts I might have. Two weeks later, I e-mailed her if she has read the script and wondering if she had any notes for me. A week later, she replied that she liked it and asked if I mind if she could send

41 the script to an agent friend at ICM. “She isn’t looking but it wouldn’t hurt,” she wrote. I wrote back something along the lines of “hell yes.” Okay. So, I don’t have a representation. Yet. But for an international student who hasn’t graduated and yet has already a mover and shaker like Shannon Gaulding in his contact list isn’t too shabby. I don’t envision the road to being a paid writer to get any easier soon but with the support of my parents and cohorts, it would do them a great disservice if I threw in the towel after coming this far. Bear with me but I’m actually on the last few pages of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. I heard about it before but I’ve never gotten around to reading it until recently. It’s very odd. I’m never affected by literature but I’m actually identifying more and more with the protagonist Howard Roark for his obstinate worldview and unwavering principle of what art is. I think I’m an Objectivist. Well, a light Objectivist, which is the same as a light vegetarian since I’ve also taken up Meatless Monday. But I digress. The way I see it, there are other screenwriters like me in L.A. and a good majority of them are not represented. They are probably like me, transplants from elsewhere, who suddenly think their ticket to fame is to write for the big screen. With odds like this, statistically, my chance for getting noticed is almost zero but with hard work and dogged resolve like Roark, I believe I can rise above.

42 BIBLIOGRAPHY Books: Moore, Alan and Gibbons, Dave. 1995. Watchmen. New York: DC Comics Palahniuk, Chuck. 1996. Fight Club. New York: W. W. Norton Carroll, Lewis. 1865. Alice In Wonderland. England: Macmillan. Grahame, Kenneth. 1908. The Wind In The Willows. England: Mehuen. Rand, Ayn. 1943. The Fountainhead. Indianapolis: Bobbs Merrill.

Films: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Created by Andy and Susan Borowitz, NBC, 1990 Jackass Created by Johnny Knoxville, Spike Jonze and Jeff Tremaine. MTV, 2000 The Party Directed by Blake Edwards. United Artists, 1968 The Dark Knight Directed by Christopher Nolan. Warner Bros., 2008 Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace Created by Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade. Channel 4, 2004

43 Internet: Craig’s List (http://www.craigslist.com) Growing Pleasures and Pains from New York Press (http://www.nypress.com/article-13741-growing-pleasures- and-pains.html) Contact Music’s Interview with Zach Braff (http://www.contactmusic.com/new/home.nsf/interviewee/zb raff)

VITA Wayne Cheong was born in Singapore to Donald Cheong and Christina Lim. He was a sergeant in the Singapore army, won a writing competition that led to his work being published and was one of the few left awake at a three-day movie marathon. He received his Mass Communication degree from Oklahoma City University. During his stint as a columnist for the college newspaper, he won first place at the Oklahoma Collegiate Press Association two years in a row. He currently interns at two production houses – Traction Media, that produced Hard Candy and Half Nelson and Idealogy, Inc. that produced Matchstick Men; Gone, Baby, Gone and the upcoming Tron Legacy. He continues to write and hopes to one day be paid for doing so.

Attention must be paid that Wayne is older than he looks and sometimes would write in the third person.

Permanent Address: 10603 Mackenzie Dr. Houston, Texas 77086

This report was typed by the writer.