TO WORLDS BEYOND Tales of the Future By RoBERT SILVERBERG. Foreword. by ISAAC AsiMOV. A great· master of S-F shows ua our-descendants in action among the stars, in provocative stories that pose truch questions as: Can we out-invent in­ telligent aliens? What i• the definition ol a zeoo-and who belont• behind the ban, we or they? $3.95 INVISIBLE HORIZONS True Mysteries of the Sea By VINCENT GADDIS. Mystifying atoriet of disappearing ships . . . of vessels like the Mary Cela.te found sailing with crewa of dead men ... and many other strange doinga at sea. Most of them defy our cur­ rently accepted scientific belief. - but they are all baaed on absolutely authori­ tative sources, and many are backed up with photC)Iraphic evidence. $4.25 THE QUEST A Report on Extr"terrestrial Life By ToM ALLEN. Scientista are now seri• ou.ly inveatigating the poasibility of life on other worlda. Much amazing evidence ha~ already been found - IUch aa unex-· plained radio aignala, and foaail-like ahapea in meteora. Here ia everything we lmow now, or hope to learn aoon-in the tint book to brine it aU together. $4.95 AGENT OF THE TEHRAN EMPIRE By POUL ANDEIIISON. A two-time winner of the "Hugo" Award for aciecce-fiction writing introducea Sir Dominic Flandry­ Captain in Earth' a Imperial Naval IntelU· gence Corps and the "Agent 007" of the future. Here are .waahbuckling battlea galore aa Flandry fighta hia way through a clutch of enemiea - human and non­ human. $3.95 FUNDRY OF TERRA By POUL ANDERSON. Captain Flandry mana the ramparta of the univerae once again in theae awift-paced adventurea. Thia time he is up againat a hundred-foot­ long enemy agent, a catlike beauty, and a ruthlaw acientific tyranny. $3.95 Now at your boobtore CIILTOI IOOQ, 127 lo. lUI at., PWL, Pa. 11101 Including Y enture Science Picliofl ...-. ....

• • • And Call Me Conrad (1st of 2 fJMts) ROGER ZELAZNY 5 Mirror, Mirror AVllAM DAVIDSON 58 Cartoon GAHAN WILSON 61 The Future, Its Promoters and False Prophets (article) E. BRANDIS and V. DMITRBVSKIY 62 Replies ISAAC ASIMOV, POUL ANDERSON, MACK REYNOLDS, RAY BRADBURY 64 No Jokes On Mars JAMES BLISH 71 The Glorious Fourth JACK SHARKEY 78 Books JUDITH MERRIL 92 Minutes Of A Meeting At The Mitre ROBERT P. YOUNG 99 Science: The Land Of Mu ISAAC ASIMOV 104 Something Else ROBHT J• TILLEY 114 P&SP Marketpl.ce 129 Cover by Chesley Bonestell (see page 98)

Joseph W. FtrmtJn, EDITOR AND PUm.ISBD lsatJc A.simcru, SCIENCE EDITOR Ted Whitt, ASSISTANT EDITOR Edward L. Ferman, MANAGING EDITOR Judith Mtrril, BOOK EDITOR Robert P. Mills, CONSULTING EDITOR

The Magatliftll of F•t~tasy •"d Scietu:11 Fictitm, Vol•""' Z9, No. 4, Who/11 No. J13, Oct. 1965. Published mot~thly loy Mft'cury Press, lt~c., at 50' a c"'Y· A,.,.,.,, s•bscri#imt $5.00; $S.SO in CaiiiJdtJ arul the Pa11 American UnifJn, $6.00 in all other cou11tries. Publi· cati011 office, JO Ferry Street, Co11cord, N. H. Editorial and ge11eral mail should H sent tfJ 347 East Hrd St. New Yori N. Y. JOOZZ. Sectmd Class ,ostage ,aid at C011cord, N.H. Printed in U.S.A. C 1965 l!:y Mercury Press, Inc. All rights, including tr•flslatiDM itdo othn' u~~&guages, reserved. Sul>musitm.r m•n be IJCCOffl,aflied loy namf!ed, sel/..,ddress•d entJelo,es; the PuloHsher assumu fiD res,onsibilit:y for rnurn of •Moltcited ma11uscri,U. In the relatively short time that Roger Zelazny has b8€n writing science fiction, he has gone from talented newcomer to one of the most exciting writers in the field. His first story for F&SF (A ROSE FOR ECCLESIASTES, Nov., 1963) appeared less than two years ago. Perhaps you have occasionally paused with a good story in your lap, closed your eyes and sensed the characters about you -felt as if you could reach out and touch a tear or steady a trem­ bling hand. At a later pause, you may have felt the heat of battle, heard the crackle of a weapon. And, if you were truly fortunate, caught yourself further along in the narrative smiling, or laugh- · ing out loud. This is the sort of story you are about to read-full of compassion and humor and stunning action; about a ruined Earth, dying, but not yet dead, and of the dreatn3 and struggles of man and mutant and alien for its legacy.

• • • AND CALL ME CONRAD by Roger Zelazny

"You ARE A KALLIKANZAROS," likanzaroi blood," she said, "and she announced suddenly. you once told me that your birth­ I turned onto my left side and day ..." smiled through the darkness. "AU right!" "I left my hooves and my horns It had struck me that she was at the Office." only half-joking. Knowing some of "You've heard the story!" the things one occasionally meets "The name is 'Nomikos'." in the Old Places, the Hot Places, I reached for her, found her. you can almost believe in myths "Are you going to destroy the without extra effort-such as the world this time around?" story of those Pan-like sprites who I laughed and drew her to me. gather together every spring to "I'll think about it. If that's the spend ten days sawing at the Tree way the Earth crumbles-" of the World, only to be dispersed "You know that children born at the last moment by the ringing here on Christmas are of the kal- of the Easter bells. (Ring-a-ding, 5 6 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION the bells, gnash, gnash, the teeth, But there are fewer bells every clackety-clack, the hooves, etcet­ year, and it is not always desire era.) Cassandra and I were not in that matters. I have this feeling the habit of discussing religion, that you will change things, some­ politics, or Aegaean folklore in how. Perhaps-" bed-but, me having been born in "You are wrong, Cassandra." these parts, the memories are still "And I am afraid, and cold-" somehow alive. And she was lovely in the dark- "I am hurt," I said, only half- ness, so I held her in my arms to joking. sort of keep her from the foggy "You're hurting me, too • .. foggy dew. "Sorry." I relaxed again. In attempting to reconstruct the After a time I explained : affairs of these past six months, "Back when I was a brat, the I realize now that as we willed other brats used to push me walls of passion around our Octo­ around, called me 'Konstantin ber and the isle of Kos, the Earth Kallikanzaros'. When I got bigger had already fallen into the hands and uglier they stopped doing it. of those powers which smash all At least, they didn't say it to my Octobers. Marshalled from within face-" and without, the forces of final dis­ " 'Konstantin'? That was your ruption were even then goose­ name? I've wondered . . ." stepping amidst the ruins-face­ "It's 'Conrad' now, so forget it." less, ineluctable, arms upraised. ""But I like it. I'd rather call you Cort Myshtigo had landed at Port­ 'Konstantin' than 'Conrad'." au-Prince in the antique Sol-Bus "If it makes you happy ..•" Nine, which had borne him in The moon pushed her ravaged from Titan along with a load of face up over the windowsill to shirts and shoes, underwear, sox, mock me. I couldn't reach the assorted wines, medical supplies, moon, or even the window, so I and the latest tapes from civiliza­ looked away. The night was cold, tion. A wealthy and influential was damp, was misty as it always galacto-journalist, he. Just how is here. wealthy, we were not to learn for "The Commissioner of Arts, many weeks; just how influential, Monuments and Archives for the I found out only five days ago. And planet Earth is hardly out to chop the long-dormant Radpol was stir­ down the Tree of the World," I ring again, but I did not know o£ rasped. it until several days later. "My kallikanzaros," she said The Radpol. The old Radpol too quickly, "I did not say that. • • • AND CALL ME CONilAD 7 Once chief among the stirrers the hieroglyph-prints of the her­ of disruption, the Radpol had ring-gulls, there on the wet sands lapsed into a long quiescence. of the beaches of Kos, we were After the departure of its sinister burning time while waiting for a half-man founder, Karaghiosis the ransom which could not come, killer (who strangely resembled which should never, really, have me, a very few old timers have said been expected. -tut!), the Radpol had weakened, Cassandra's hair is the color of had slept. Katamara olives, and shiny. Her It had done its necessary troub­ hands are soft, the fingers short, ling, however, over half a century delicately webbed. Her eyes are ago, and the Vegans stayed stale­ very dark. She is only about four mated. inches shorter than me, which But Vega could buy the Earth­ makes her gracefulness something office-which runs this blamed of an achievement, me being well world-and sell it many times over six feet. Of course, any woman over for kicks from out of the Petty looks graceful, precise and hand­ Cash drawer-because Earthgov some when walking at my side, be­ Absentia lives off Vegan droppings. cause I am none of these things: Vega hadn't been too eager to try my left cheek is a map of Africa it, though. done up in varying purples, be­ Not since the Radpol led the cause of that mutant fungus I Returnist Rebellion, melted Mada­ picked up from a moldy canvas­ gascar, and showed them that they back when I was disinterring the cared. Earthgov had been busy Guggenheim for the New York selling pieces of real estate, to Ve­ Tour; my hairline peaks to within gans; this, via the Office, Earthgov's a fingerbreadth of my brow; my civil service infection here among eyes are mismatched. (I glare at the isles of the world. people through the cold blue one All sales ceased, Vega withdrew, on the right side when I want to and the Radpol dozed, dreaming intimidate them; the brown one is its Big Dream-of the return of for Glances Sincere and Honest.) men to Earth. I wear a reinforced boot because of The Office went on administer­ my short right leg. ing. The days of Karaghiosis had Cassandra doesn't require con­ passed. trasting, though. She's beautiful. I met her by accident, pursued As we wandered among the her with desperation, married her olive groves gone wild, picked our against my will. (The last part was way through the ruins of the Frank­ her idea.) I wasn't really thinking ish castle, or mixed our tracks with about it, myself-even on that day 8 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION when I brought my caique into the plain about being overworked." harbor and saw her-there, sunning "I can complain-and I will. herself like a mermaid beside the My job is supposed to be a sine­ plane tree of Hippocrates, and de­ cure." cided that I wanted her. Kallikan­ "Why?" zaroi have never been much the "Mainly because I made it that family sort. I just sort of slipped way. I worked hard for twenty up, again. years to make Arts, Monuments It was a clean morning. It was and Archives what it is, and ten starting our third month together. years ago I got it to the point where It was my last day on Kos-be­ my staff could handle just about cause of a call I'd received the eve­ everything. So I got me turned out ning before. Everything was still to pasture, I got me told to come moist from the night's rain, and we back occasionally to sign papers sat out on the patio drinking Tur­ and to do whatever I damn pleased kish coffee and eating oranges. Day in the meantime. Now this-this was starting to lever its way into bootlicking gesture--having a the world. The breeze was inter­ commissioner take a Vegan scrib­ mittent, was damp, goosepimpled bler on a tour any staff guide could us beneath the black bulk of our conduct! Vegans aren't gods!" sweaters, skimmed the steam off "Wait a minute," she said, the top of the coffee. "please ... Twenty years? Ten "I feel crummy," I said. years?" "I know," she said. "Don't." Sinking feeling. "Can't help it. Got to go away "You're not even thirty years and leave you, and that's crummy." old." .. "It may only be a few weeks. I sank further. I waited. I rose You said so yourself. Then you'll be again. back." "Uh-there's something I, well, ". . . Hope so," I said. "If it in my own reticent way, sort of takes any longer though, I'll send never quite got around to mention­ for you. Dunno where all I'll be, ing to you . . . How old are you yet." anyway, Cassandra?" "Who is Cort Myshtigo?" "Twenty." "Vegan actor, journalist. Im­ "Uh-huh. Well . . . I'm around portant one. Wants to write about four times your age." what's left of Earth. So I've got to "I don't understand." show it to him. Me. Personally. "Neither do I. Or the doctors. I Damn!" just sort of stopped, somewhere be­ "Anybody who takes ten-month tween twenty and thirty, and I vacations to go sailing can't com- stayed that way. I guess that's a • • • AND CALL ME COJUAD 9 sort of, well-a part of my particu­ So I said: lar mutation, I guess. Does it make "Look, you have a touch of the any difference?" Hot Stuff in you, too. It took me "I don't know . . . Yes." forty years to realize I wasn't forty "You don't mind my limp, or my years old. Maybe you're the same excessive shagginess, or even my way. I'm just a neighborhood kid face. Why should my age bother " you? I am young, for all necessary "Do you know of any other cases purposes." like your own?" "It's just that it's not the same," "Well .••" she said with an unarguable final­ ''No, you don't." ity. "What if you never grow old?" ''No. I don't." I bit my lip, when I wanted to I waited until she had stopped be biting hers. crying and I could feel her eyes '1'm bound to, sooner or later." on me again. Then I waited some '"And if it's later? I Jove you. I more. don't want to out-age you." 'Well?" I asked, finally. ''You'll live to be a hundred and "Pretty weU, thanks." fifty. There are the S-S treatments. I found and held her passive You'IJ have them." hand, raised it to my lips. ''Rodos "But. they won't keep me young dactylos," I breathed, and she said, -like you." "Maybe it's a good idea-your "I'm not reaDy young. I was going away-for awhile any­ hom old." how . . . " and the breeze that That one didn't work either. She skimmed the steam came again, started to cry. was damp, goosepimpled us, and "That's years and years away," I made either her hand or my hand told her. "Who knows what will shake-l'm not sure which. It happen in the meantime?'' shook the leaves too, and they emp­ That only made her cry more. tied over our heads. I've always been impulsive. My "Did you exaggerate your age to thinking is usuaUy pretty good, but me?" she asked. "Even a little bit?" I always seem to do it after I do my Her tone of voice suggested that talking-by which time I've gen­ agreement would be the wisest re­ eraUy destroyed aU basis for fur­ ply. ther conversation. So, ''Yes," I said, truthfully. Which is one of the reasons I She smiled back then, somewhat have a competent staff, a good reassured of my humanity. radio, and am out to pasture most Hal of the time. But there are some So we sat there, holding hands things you just can't delegate. and watching the morning. After 10 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION awhile she began humming. It was into the sky, and after a time there a sad song, centuries old. A ballad. came a sound of hammering from It told the story of a young wrestler the yard of old Aldones, the coffin­ named Themocles, a wrestler who maker. The cyclamen had come had never been beaten. He even­ awake, and the breezes carried tually came to consider himseH the their fragrance to us from across greatest wrestler alive. Finally, he the fields. High overhead, like a called out his challenge from a dark omen, a spiderbat glided mountaintop, and that being too across the sky toward the main­ near home the gods acted fast: The land. I ached to wrap my fingers following day a crippled boy rode around the stock of a thirty-oh-six, into the town, on the plated back make loud noises, and watch it of a huge wild dog. They wrestled faD. The only firearms I knew of for three days and three nights, were aboard my ship, the Vanitie Themocles and the boy, and on the though, so I just watched it vanish fourth day the boy broke his back from sigllt. and left him there in &he field. "They say that they're not really Wherever his blood fell, there native to Earth," she told me, sprang up the strige-Beur, as Em­ watching it go, "and that they were met calls it, the bJood-drillking brought here from Titan, for zoos Bower that creeps rootless at night, and things like that." seeking the lost spirit of the faDen "That's right." champion in the blood of its vic­ ". . . And that they got loose tims. But Themocles' spirit is gone during the Three Days and went from the Earth, so they must creep, wild, and that they grow bigger seeking, forever. Simpler than Aes­ here than tltey ever did on their chylus, but then we're a simpler own world." people than we once were, espe­ "One time I saw one with a cially the Mainlanders. Besides, thirty-two foot wingspread." that's not the way it really hap­ "My great-uncle once told me a pened. story he had heard in Athens," she "Why are yon weeping'?" she :recalled, "about a man killing one asked me suddenly. without any weapons. It snatched "I am thinking of the pictures him up from off the dock he was on Achilleus' shield," I said, "and standing on-at Piraeus-and the of what a terrible thing it is to be man broke its neck with his hands. an educated beast-and I am not They fell about a hundred feet into weeping. The leaves are dripping the bay. The man lived." on me." "That was a long time ago," I ''I'll make some more coffee." remembered, "back before the Of­ The sun wandered up higher fice started its campaign to exter- • • • AND CALL ME COmAD 11 JBi:nate the things. There were a "Yon know it, but I can't." lot more around, and they were The Skimmer settled and its bolder in those days. They shy away side slid open. The goggled pilot from cities now." turned his head. "The man's name was Konstan­ ,.I have a feeling," she said, "that tin, as I recall the story. Could it you are heading into some sort of have been you?" danger.'" "His last name was Karaghiosis." "I doubt it, Cassandra.'' "Are you Karaghiosis?" Nor pressure, nor osmosis will "If you want me to be. Why?" restore Adam's lost rib, thank God. "Because he later helped to "Good-bye, Cassandra." found the Returnist Radpol in "Good-bye, my kallikanzaros." Athens, and you have very strong And I got mto the Skimmer and bands." jumPed into the sky, breathing a "Are you a Returnist ?" prayer to Aphrodite. Below me, "Yes. Are you?" Cassandra waved. Behind me, the "I work for the Office. I don't sun tightened its net of light. We have any political opinions." sped westward, and this is the "Karaghiosis bombed resorts." plaee for a smooth transition, but "So he did." there kn't any. From Kos to Port­ "Are you sorry he bombed au-Prince was four hours, gi'ay wa­ them?" ter, pale stars, and me mad. Watch "No." the eolored lights . • • "I don't really know mueh about you, do I?" The haft was lousy with people, "You know anything about me. a big tropieal moon was shining fit Just ask. I'm really quite simple. to bust, and the reason I could see -My air taxi is comingnow.'' both was because I'd finally rna­ "I don't hear anything.'' aged to lure Ellen Emmet out onto "You will." the balcony and the doors were After a moment it came sliding mag-pegged open. down the sky toward Kos, homing "Back from the dead agai:n," site in on the beacon I had set up at the had greeted me, smiling slightly. end of the patio. I stood and drew "Gone almost a year, and not so her to her feet as it buzzed in low much as a Get Well Card from -a Radson Skimmer: a twenty­ Ceylon." foot cockleshell of reflection and 'Were you ill?" transparency; Bat-bottomed, blunt­ "I could have been.'" nosed. She was small and, h"ke all day­ ,. Anything you want to take with haters, creamy somewhere under you?" she asked. her 5imicolor. She reminded me of 12 FANTAST AND SCIENCE FJC'110N an elaborate action-don with a I shrugged. "A mermaid, maybe. faulty mechanism-cold grace, Why?" and a propensity to kick people in She shrugged. "Just curious. the shins when ·they least expected What do you tell people I'm like?" it; and she had lots and lots of "I don't tell people you're like orangebrown hair, woven into a anything." Gordian knot of a coif that frus­ "I'm insulted. I must be like trated me as I worked at untying it, something, unless I'm unique.'' mentally; her eyes were of what­ "That's it, you're unique.'' ever color it pleased the god of her "Then why didn't you take me choice on that particular day-1 away with you last year?" forget now, but they're always blue "Because you're a People person somewhere deep deep down inside. and you require a city around you. Whatever she was wearing was You could only be happy here at browngreen, and there was enough the Port.'' of it to go around a couple times "You know," she said after a and make her look like a shapeless time, "you're so damned ugly you're weed, which was a dressmaker's lie attractive. That must be it." if there ever was one, unless she I stopped in mid-reach, a cou­ was pregnant again, which I ple inches from her shoulder. doubted. · "You know," she continued, her 'Well, get well," I said, "if you voice flat, emptied of emotion, need to. I didn't make Ceylon. I "you're a nightmare that walks like was in the Mediterranean most of a man." the time." I dropped my hand, chuckled Ellen leaned back on the railing. inside a tight chest. "I hear you're somewhat married "I know," I said. "Pleasant these days." dreams." "True," I agreed, "also some­ I start~d to tum away and she what harried. Why did they caD me caught my sleeve. back?" "Wait!" a Ask your boss.'' I looked down at her hand, up "I did. He said I'm going to be at her eyes, then back down at her a guide. What I want to know hand. She let go. though is why?-The real reason. "You know I never tell the I've been thinking about it and it's truth," she said. Then she laughed grown more puzzling." her little brittle laugh. "So how should I know?" H • •• And I have thought of "You know everything." something you ought to know about "You overestimate me, dear. this trip. Donald Dos Santos is What's she like?" here, and I think he's going along.'' • • • AND CALL ME CONRAD 13 ''DosSantos? That's ridiculous." think he gets some kind of sexual "He's up in the library now, with pleasure out of watching them George and some big Arab." swarm around in those tanks. I I looked past her and down into don't know what else-" the harbor section, watching the I turned away and looked inside shadows, like my thoughts, move the hall then, because her face was along dim streets, dark and slow. no longer her face. When I heard "Big Arab?" I said, after a time. her laugh a moment later I turned "Scarred hands? Yellow eyes?­ back and squeezed her shoulder. Name of Hasan?" "Okay, I know more than I knew ''Yes, that's right. Have you met before. Thanks. I'll see you some­ him?" time soon." "He's done some work for me in "Should I wait?" the past," I acknowledged. "No. Good night." So I smiled, even though my "Good night, Conrad. H blood was refrigerating, because I And I was away. don't like people to know what I'm thinking. Crossing a room can be a tick­ ''You're smiling," she said. lish a9d time-consuming business : "What are you thinking?" if it's full of people, if the people She's like that. all know 1ou, if the people are all "I'm thinking how is George­ holding glasses, if you have even a and how is his bug collection thes..; slight tendency to limp. days?" It was, they did and they were, She sort of smiled. andldo. So .•. "Growing," she replied, "by Thinking very inconspicuous leaps and bounds. Buzzes and thoughts, I edged my way along crawls too-and some of those the wall just at the periphery of crawlies are radioactive. I say to humanity. This, for about twenty him, 'George, why don't you run feet, until I reached Phil Graber­ around with other women instead and the enclave of young ladies the of spending all your time with old celibate always has hovering those bugs?' But he just shakes his about him. Chinless, near-lipless, head and looks dedicated. Then I going hairless, the expression that say, 'George, one day one of those once lived in that flesh which cov­ uglies is going to bite you and ers his skull had long ago retreated make you impotent. What'll you do into the darkness of his eyes, and then?' Then he explains that that the eyes had it as they caught me­ can't happen, and he lectures me the smile of imminent outrage. on insect toxins. Maybe he's really "Phil," said I, nodding, "not a big bug himself, in disguise. I everybody ~an write a masque like 14 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION that. I've heard it said that it's a We started across the room, ne­ dying art, but now I know better." gotiating alleys of people. High "You're still alive," he said, in overhead, the chandeliers drifted a voice seventy years younger than and turned like facetted satellites the rest of bini, "and late again, as of ice. The thelinstra was an in­ usual." telligent Aeolain harp, tossing its "I abase myself in my contri­ shards of song into the air-pieces tion," I told him, "but I was de­ of colored glass. The people buzzed tained at a birthday party for a and drifted like certain of George lady aged seven, at the home of an Emmet's insects, and we avoided old friend." (Which was true, but their swarms by putting one foot in it has nothing to do with this front of another without pause and story.) making noises of our own. We "All your friends are old friends, didn't step on anybody who ~en't they?" he asked, and that was squashed. hitting below the belt, just because "I hear Dos Santos is here," I I had once known his barely-re­ said. membered parents, and had taken "Soheis." them around to the south side of "Why?" the Erechtheum in order to show "I don't really know, or care." them the Porch of the Maidens and "Tsk and tsk. What happened point out what Lord Elgin had to your wonderful political con­ done with the rest, all the while sciousness? The Department of Lit­ carrying their bright-eyed young­ erary Criticism used to praise you ster on my shoulders and telling for it." him tales that were old when the "At my age, the smell of death place was built. becomes more and more unsettling ". . .And I need your help," I each time that it is encountered." added, ignoring the jibe and gently "And DosSantos smells?" pushing my way through the soft, "He tends to reek." pungent circle of femininity. "It'll "I have heard that he's employed take me all night to cross this hall a former associate of ours-from to where Sands is holding court the days of the Madagascar Affair." with the Vegan and I don't have Phil cocked his head to one side, all night. So how about it? Get me shot me a quizzical look. from here to there in a minimum "You hear things quite quickly. of time in your typical courtier­ But then, you're a friend of Ellen's. like fashion, with a running con­ Yes, Hasan is here. He's upstairs versation that no one would dare with Don." interrupt. Okay? Let's run." "Whose karmic burden is he He nodded brusquely. likely to help lighten?" • • • AND CALL ME. CONRAD 15 "As I said before, I don't reaDy the most intelligent man on Earth. know or care about any of this." He is my boss. He is also one of the I squinted at him, and then, as best friends I have. he turned away, I followed the di­ Beside him sat Cort Myshtigo. I rection of his gaze toward the easy could almost feel Phil hating him chairs set in the alcove formed by -from the pale blue soles of his the northeast comer of the room on six-toed feet to the pink upper­ two sides and the bulk of the the­ caste dye of his temple-to-temple linstra on the third. The thelinstra­ hairstrip. Not hating him so much player was an old lady with dreamy because he was him, but hating eyes. Earthdirector Lorel Sands him, I was sure, because he was the was smoking his pipe . . . closest available relative-grand­ Now, the pipe is one of the more son-of Tatram Yshtigo, who forty interesting facets of Lorel's person­ years beiore had commenced to ality. It's a real Meerschaum, and demonstrate that the greatest liv­ there aren't too many of them left ing writer in the English language in the world. As for the rest of him, was a Vegan. The old gent is still his function is rather like that of at it, and I don't believe Phil has an anti-computer: you feed him all ever forgiven him. kinds of carefully garnered facts, Out of the corner of my eye (the figures, and statistics and he trans­ blue one) I saw Ellen ascending lates them into garbage. Keen dark the big, ornate stairway on the -eyes, and a slow, rumbly way of other side of the hall. Out of the speaking while he holds you with other comer of my other eye I saw them; rarely given to gestures, but Lorellooking in my direction. then very deliberate as he saws the "I," said I, "have been spotted, air with a wide right hand or pokes and I must go now to pay my re­ imaginary ladies with his pipe; spects to the William Seabrook of white at the temples and dark Taler. Come along?" above; he is high of cheekbone, has Well ... Very well: said Phil, a complexion that matches his "suffering is good for the sow.• tweeds (he assiduously avoids We moved on to the alcove, stood Dress Blacks), and he constantly before the two chairs, between the strives to push his jaw an inch music and the noise, there in the higher and further forward than place of power. Lorel stood slowly. seems comfortable. He is a politi­ shook hands. Myshtigo stood more cal appointee, by the Earthgov on slowly, did not shake hands; he Taler, and he ·takes his work quite stared, amber-eyed, as we were in­ seriously, even to the extent of troduced, his face expressionless. demonstrating his dedication with His loose-hanging orange shirt But­ periodic attacks of ulcers. He is not tered constantly as his chambered 16 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION lungs forced their peq:»etual exha­ "I started by checking the Vite­ lation out the anterior nostrils at Stats Register for Earth when I first the base of his wide ribcage. He conceived of this project-just for nodded briefly, repeated my name. general human data-then, after Then he turned to Phil with some­ I'd turned up an interesting item, thing like a smile. I tried the Earthoffice Personnel "Would you care to have me Banks-" translate your masque into Eng­ "Um-hm," I said. lish?" he asked, his voice sounding "-and I was more impressed by like a dying-down tuning fork. what they did not say of you than Phil turned on his heel and by what they said." walked away. I shrugged. "According to your personnel Then I thought the Vegan was record, you're seventy-seven years ill for a second, until I recollected old. According to Vite-Stats, you're that a Vegan laugh sounds some­ either a hundred-eleven or a hun­ thing like a billy goat choking. I dred-thirty." try to stay away from Vegans by "I fibbed about my age to get the avoiding the resorts. job. There was a Depression going "Sit down," said Lorel, looking on. " uncomfortable behind his pipe. "-So I made up a Nomikos­ I drew up a chair and set it profile, which is a kind of distinc­ across from them. tive thing, and I set Vite-Stats to "Okay." hunting down .001 physical ana­ "Cort is going to write a book," logues in all of its banks, including said Lorel. the closed ones." "So you've said." "Some people collect old coins, "About the Earth." other people build model rockets." I nodded. ". . . And I found that you "He expressed a desire that you could have been three or four or be his guide on a tour of certain of five other persons, all of them the Old Places. . ." Greeks, and one of them truly "I am honored," I said rather amazing. But, of course, Konstan­ stiffiy. "Also, I am curious what tin Korones, one of the older ones, determined his selection of me as was born two hundred thirty-four guide." years ago. On Christmas. Blue eye, "-and even more curious as to brown eye. Game right leg. Same what he may know about you, eh?" hairline, at age twenty-three. Same interrupted the Vegan. height, and same Bertillion scales." "Yes, I am," I agreed, "by a cou­ "Same fingerprints? Same retinal ple hundred percent." patterns?" ••• AND CALL MB CONLW 17 "These were not included fn questions, impressed me Into your many of the older Registry files. service on a whim-" Maybe they were sloppier in those "-exploited your countrymen, days? I don't know. More careless, turned your world into a brothel, perhaps, as to who had access to and demonstrated the utter provin­ public records . . ." ciality of the human race, as com­ "You are aware that there are pared to a galactic culture eons over four million persons on this older ..." planet right now. By searching "I'm not talking your race-my back through the past three or four race. I'm talking personal talk. centuries I daresay you could find And I repeat, you insulted my doubles, or even triples, for quite a friend, asked me impertinent ques­ few of them. So what?" tions, impressed me into your serv­ "It serves to make you somewhat ice on a whim." intriguing, that's all, almost like a '1Billy goat snuflle]l to all spirit of place-and you are as three l-It is an insult to the curiously ruined as this place is. shades of Homer and Dante to have Doubtless, I shall never achieve that man sing for the human race your age, whatever it may be, and • I was curious as to the sort of sensi­ "-At the moment, he's the best bilities a human might cultivate, we've got." given so much time-especially in "-In which case, you should view of your position as a master of do without." your world's history and art. "You behave like a Royal Repre­ "So, that is why I asked for your sentative in a Crown Colony: I services," he concluded. decided, pronouncing the capitals, "Now that you've met me, ruined "and I don't like it. I've read all and ali, can I go home?" your books. I've also read your "Conradi" The pipe attacked me. granddad's-like, his Earthwhore's "No, Mister Nomikos, there are Lament-and you'll never be the practical considerations also. This man he is. He has a thing called is a tough world, and you have a compa.;sion. You don't. Anything high survival potential. I want you you feel about old Phil goes double with me because I want to survive. • for you, in my book." I shrugged again. "Well, that's That part about grandpa must settled. What now?" have touched on a sore spot, be­ He chuckled. "I perceive that cause he flinched when my blue you dislike me." gaze hit him. 'Whatever gave you that idea? "So kiss my elbow, • I added, or Just because you insulted a friend something like that, in Vegan. of mine, asked me impertinent Sands doesn't speak enough 18 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Veggy to have caught it, but he brary. He was sitting straight and made conciliatory noises immedi­ sipping lemonade. ately, looking about the while to be Eighty or ninety or more, looiE­ sure we were not being overheard. ing about forty, he could still act "Conrad, please find your pro­ thirty. The Sprung-Samser treat­ fessional attitude and put it back ments had found highly responsive on.-Srin Shtigo, why dou't we get material. It's not often that way. on with the planning?" Almost never, in fact. They put Myshtigo smiled his bluegreen some people into accelerated ana­ smile. phylactic shock for no apparent "And minimize our differ­ reason, and even an intracardial ences?" he asked. "All right." blast of adrenalin won't haul them "Then let's adjourn to the library back; others, most others, they -where it's quieter-and we can freeze at five or six decades. But use the map-screen." some rare ones actually grow "Fine." younger when they take the series I felt a bit reinforced as we rose -about one in a hundred thou­ to go, because Don Dos Santos was sand. up there and he hates Vegans, and It struck me as odd that in des­ wherever Dos Santos is, there is al­ tiny's big shooting gallery this one ways Diane, the girl with the red should make it, in such a way. wig, and she hates everybody; and It had been over fifty years since I knew George Emmet was up­ the Madagascar Affair in which stairs, and Ellen, too-and George Hasan had been employed by the is a real cold fish around strangers Radpol in their vendetta against (friends too, for that matter); and the Talerites. He had been in the perhaps Phil would wander in pay of (Rest in Peace) the big K. J:ter and fire on Fort Sumter; and in Athens, who had sent him to then there was Hasan-he doesn't polish off the Earthgov Realty say much, he just sits there and Company. He did it, too. And smokes his weeds and looks opaque well. With one tiny fission de­ -and if you stood too near him vice. Pow. Instant urban renewal. and took a couple deep breaths you Called Hasan the Assassin by the wouldn't care what the hell you Few, he is the last mercenary on said to Vegans, or people either. Earth. Also, besides Phil (who had not I had hoped that Hasan's mem­ always been a wielder of the blade­ ory would be on the rocks, or else less sword without a hilt), Hasan up there somewhere among the was one of the Very Few who could clouds. remember old Karaghios. ·Hope died as we entered the Ji- So, chin up and fungus forward, , , • AND CALL ME CONL\D 19 I tried to cloud his mind with IDJ wondered about that scar, some­ first glance. Either there were an­ times as I lay at anchor staring up cient and mysterious powers afoot, at parts of constellations through which I doubted, or he was higher clouds, or when I unearthed dam­ than I'd thought, which was possi­ aged statues. Purple lips-tat­ ble, or he had forgotten my face­ tooed, I think-and I've never which could have been possible, seen them smile; her jaw muscles though not real likely-or he was are always raised cords because her exercising a professional ethic or a teeth are always clenched; and low animal cunning. (He pos­ there's a little upside-down "v" sessed both of the latter, in varying between her eyes, from all that degrees, but the accent was on the frowning; and her chin is slight, l.a.c.) He made no sign as we were held high-defiant? She barely introduced. moves her mouth when she speaks "My bodyguard, Hasan," said in that tight, choppy way of hers. Dos Santos, Bashing his magne­ I couldn't really guess at her age. sium-Rare smile as I shook the Over thirty, that's all. hand that once had shaken the She and Don make an interest­ world, so to speak. ing pair. He is dark, loquacious, It was still a very strong hand. always s'lloking, unable to sit still "Conrad Nomikos," said HasaD, for more than two minutes. She is squinting as though he were read­ taller by about five inches, burns ing it from off a scroll. . without Bickering. I still don~t I knew everyone else in the know all of her story. I guess I room, so I hastened to the chair never will. farthest from Hasan, and I kept my She came over and stood beside second drink in front of my face my chair while Lorel was introduc­ most of the time, just to be safe. ing Cart to Dos Santos. Diane of the Red Wig stood "You will conduct the tonr." near. She spoke. She said, "Good "Everybody knows all about it morning, Mister Nomikos." but me," said I. '1 don't suppose I nodded my drink. you could spare me a little of your "Good evening, Diane." knowledge on the matter?" Tall, slim, wearing mostly "No knowledge," she said, "yet. white, she stood beside Dos Santos Ask Don." like a candle. I know it's a wig she "Will," said I. wears, because I've seen it slip up­ Did,. too. Later though. And I wards on occasion, revealing part wasn't disappointed, inasmuch as of an interesting and ugly scar I expected nothing. which is hidden by the low hair­ But, as I sat trying as hard as I line she normally keeps. I've often could to eavesdrop, there was sud- 20 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION denly a sight-vision overlay, of the stamping away from him, "who is sort a shrink had once classified for that?" me as a pseudotelepathic wish-ful­ 'That," said we, "is Ellen Em­ fillment. It works like this- met, the wife of George Emmett, I want to know what's going on the Director of the Wildlife Con­ somewhere. I have almost-suffi­ servation Department." cient information to guess. There­ '"What is her price?" fore, I do. Only it comes on as '1 don't know that she's quoted though I am seeing it and hearing one recentlv." it through the eyes and ears of one "Well, what did it used to be?" of the parties involved. It's not real "There never was one." telepathy, though, I don't think, "Everything on Earth has a because it can sometimes be wrong. price." It sure seems real, though. "In that case, I suppose you'll The shrink could tell me every­ have to find out for yourself." thing about it but why. '1 will." he said. Which is how I Earth femmes have always held was standing in the middle of an odd attraction for Vegans. A the room, Veggy once told me that they make was staring at Myshtigo, him feel rather like a zoophilist. was Dos Santos, Which is interesting, because a was saying: pleasure girl at the Cote d'Or Re­ ". . . Will be going along for sort told me, with a giggle, that your protection. Not as Radpol Vegans made her feel rather like Secretary, just a private citizen." une zoophiliste. I guess those jets "I did not solicit your pro­ of air must tickle or something tection," the Vegan was saying, and arouse both beasts. "however, I thank you. I will ac..­ "By the way," we said, "have cept your offer to circumvent my you stopped beating your wife death at the hands of your com­ latelv?" rades," and he smiled as he said it, "Which one?" asked Myshtigo. "if they should seek it during my Fadeout, and me back in my travels. I doubt that they will but chair. I should be a fool to refuse the "... What," George Emmet was shield of DosSantos." saying, "do you think of that?" "You are wise," we said, bowing I stared at him. He hadn't been slightly. there a second ago. He had come "Quite," said Cort. "Now tell up suddenly and perched himself me," he nodded toward Ellen, on the wide wing of my chair. who had just finished arguing with "Come again, please. I was George about anything and was dozing." • • • AND CALL ME. COmAD 21 "I said, we've beaten the spider­ just spiderbats. They discriminate bat. What do you think of that?" against people. People would poi­ "It rhymes," I observed. "So tell son my slishi." (He said "my me how we've beaten the spider­ slishi" very possessively.) ''Their bat." host has to have a copper, rather But he was laughing. He's one than an iron-based metabolism," of those guys with whom laughter he explained, "and spiderbats fall is an unpredictable thing. He'D into that category. That's why I go around looking sour for days, want to go with you on this trip. and then some little thing will set The slishi multiply quite rapidly him off giggling. He sort of gasps under Earth conditions, if they're when he laughs, like a baby, and given the proper host, and they that impression is reinforced by should be extremely contagious if his pink flaccidity and thinning we could get them started· at the hair. So I waited. Ellen was off right time of year. What I had in insulting Lorel now, and Diane mind was the late southwestern had turned to read the titles on spiderbat mating season. It will the bookshelves. begin in six to eight weeks in the Finally, "I've developed a new territory of California, in an Old strain of slishi," he panted confi­ Place-not real hot anymore, dentially. though-called Capistrano. I un­ "Say, that's really greatl" derstand that your tour will take Then, "What are slishi?" I you out that way at about that asked softly. time. When the spiderbats return "The slish is a Bakabian para­ to Capistrano I want to be wait­ site," he explained, "rather like a ing for them with the slishi. Also, large tick. Mine are about three­ I could use a vacation." eighths of an inch long." he said "Mm-hm. Have you talked this proudly, "and they burrow deep over with Lorel?" into the flesh and give off a highly ''Yes, and he thinks it's a fine poisonous waste product." idea. In fact, he wants to meet us "Fatal?" out there and take pictures. There "Mine are." may not be too many more oppor­ "Could you lend me one?" I tunities to see them-darkening asked him. the sky with their flight, nesting "Why?" about the ruins the way they do, "I want to drop it down some­ eating the wild pigs, leaving their one's back. -On second thought, green droppings in the streets­ make it a couple dozen. I have it's rather beautiful, you know." lots of friends." Lorel made apologetic sounds "Mine won't bother people, deep in his throat about then. He 22 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION stood beside the big desk in the ''Nothing," said Myshtigo, "ex­ middle of the room, before which cept that it's mainly mud and the broad viewscreen was slowly sand and hot, and has nothing lowering itself. It was a thick to do with what I'm after." depth-transparer, so nobody had What are you after?" to move around after a better "A story." seat. He pressed a button on the ''What kind of story?" side of the desk and the upper ''I'll send you an autographed part of Africa and most of the copy." Mediterranean countries appeared. "Thanks." The lights dimmed and "Your pleasure." Myshtigo moved to the desk. He "When do you wish to leave?" looked at the map, and then at I asked him. nobody in particular. "Day after tomorrow," he said. "I want to visit certain key "Okay." sites which, for one reason or an­ "I've had detailed maps of the other, are important in the his­ specific sites made up for you. tory of your world," he said. "I'd Lorel tells me they were deliv­ like to start with Egypt, Greece ered to your office this after- and Rome. Then I'd like to move noon. " on quickly through Madrid, Paris "Okay again. But there is and London." The maps shifted something of which you may not as he talked, not fast enough be fully cognizant. It involves the though, to keep up with him. fact that everything you've named '7hen I want to backtrack to so far is mainlandish. We're pret­ Berlin, hit Brussels, visit St. Pe­ ty much an island culture these tersburg and Moscow, skip back days, and for very good reasons. over the Atlantic and stop at Bos­ During the Three Days the Main .. ton, New York, DeeCee, Chica­ land got a good juicing, and most go," (Lorel was working up a of the places you've named are sweat by then), "drop down to still inclined to be somewhat hot. Yucatan, and jump back up to the This, though, is not the only rea­ California territory." son ,they--are considered unsafe "In that order?" I asked. . . . "Pretty much so," he said. "I am not unfamiliar with your "What's wrong with India and history and I am aware of the the Middle East-or the Far East, radiation precautions," he inter­ for that matter?" asked a voice rupted. • Also, I am aware of the which I recognized as Phil's. He variety of mutated life forms had come in after the lights went which inhabit Old Places. I am down low. concerned, but not worried." • • • AND CALL ME CONllAD 23 I shrugged in the artificial and I didn't see any real harm be­ twilight. ing done, no matter what. "It's okay by me .•." So, "Okay," said I, "I'll take you As the screen was sucked up­ to one. Tonight, if you like." ward behind him, Myshtigo He agreed, thanked me, and asked me: went off after a Coke. George, who "Is it true that you are ac­ had not strayed from the ann of quainted with several mambos my chair, leaned toward me and and houngans here at the Port?" observed that it would be very in­ "Why, yes," said I. "Why?" teresting to dissect a Vegan. I "I understand," he said conver­ agreed with him. sationally, "that voodoo, or vou­ When Myshtigo returned, Dos doun, has survived pretty much Santos was at his side. unchanged over the centuries. I "What is this about you taking should like very much to witness Mister Myshtigo to a pagan cere­ a real ceremony. If I were to at­ mony?" he asked, nostrils flared tend one with someone who was and quivering. not a stranger to the participants, "That's right," I said, "I am." perhaps then I could obtain the "Not without a bodyguard you genuine thing." are not." . "Why should you want to? I turned both palms upward. Morbid curiosity concerning bar­ "I am capable of handling any­ baric customs?" thing which might arise." "No. I am a student of com­ "Hasan and I will accompany parative religions." you." I studied his face, couldn't tell I was about to protest when anything from it. Ellen insinuated herself between It had been awhile since I'd them. visited with Mama Julie and Papa "I want to go, too," she said. Joe or any of the others, and the "I've never been to one." hounfor wasn't that far away, but I shrugged. If Dos Santos went, I didn't know how they'd take to then Diane would go, too, which me bringing a Vegan around. made for quite a few of us. They'd never objected when I'd So one more wouldn't matter, brought people, of course. shouldn't matter. It was ruined "Well . . ." I began. before it got started. '1 just want to watch," he said. "I'll stay out of the way. They'll The hounfor was located down hardly know I'm there." in the harbor section, possibly I mumbled a bit and finally gave because it was dedicated to Ague in. I knew Mama Julie pretty well Woyo, god of the sea. More likely 24 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION though, it was because Mama Ju­ place beside the altar and said, lie's people had always been har­ "Erzulie was kind." bor people. Ague Woyo is not a I nodded. jealous god, so lots of other dei­ "She likes you, Nomiko. You ties are commemorated upon the live long, you travel much, and walls in brilliant colors. There you come back." are more elaborate hounfors fur­ "Always," I said. ther inland, but they tend to be "Those people . . . ?" somewhat commercial. She indicated my companions Ague's big blazeboat was blue with a flick of her dark eyes. and orange and green and yellow "Friends. They would be no and black, and it looked to be bother ..." somewhat unseaworthy. Damballa She laughed as I said it. So did Wedo, crimson, writhed and I. coiled his length across most of "I will keep them out of your the opposite wall. Several big way if you let us remain. We will rada drums were being stroked stay in the shadows at the sides rhythmically by Papa Joe, for­ of the room. If you tell me to take ward and to the right of the door them away, I will. I see that you through which we entered-the have already danced much, emp­ only door. The small altar bore tied many bottles . . ." numerous bottles of alcoholic bev­ "Stay," she said. "Come talk erages, gourds, sacred vessels for with me during daylight some­ the spirits of the loa, charms, time." pipes, flags, depth photos of un­ "I will." known persons and, among other She moved away then and they things, a pack of cigarettes for made room for her in the circle Papa Legba. of dancers. She was quite large, A service was in progress when though her voice was a small we were led in by a young hounsi thing. She moved like a huge rub­ named Luis. The room was about ber doll, not without grace, step­ eight meters long and five wide, ping to the monotonous thunder had a high ceiling, a dirt floor. of Papa Joe's drumming. After a Dancers moved about the central time this sound filled everything pole with slow, strutting steps. -my head, the earth, the air­ Their flesh was dark and it glis­ like maybe the whale's heartbeat tened in the dim light of the an­ had seemed to half-digested Jo­ tique kerosene lamps. With our nah. I watched the dancers. I entry the room became crowded. watched those who watched the Mama Julie took my hand and dancers. smiled. She led me back to a I drank a pint of rum in an ef- • • • AND CALL ME CONRAD fort to catch up, but I couldn't. was leaning back agafnst the waD Myshtigo kept taking sips of Coke and I guess my eyes had been from a bottle he had brought along closed for a minute or two. with him. No one noticed that he The sound came from an unex­ was blue, but then we had gotten pected quarter. there rather late and things were Hasan screamed. pretty well along the way to It was a long, wailing thing wherever they were going. that brought me forward, thm Red Wig stood in a corner dizzily off balance, then back to looking supercilious and fright­ the wall again, with a thump. ened. She was holding a bottle at The drumming continued, not her side, but that's where it stayed. missing a single beat. Some of the Myshtigo was holding Ellen at dancers stopped though, staring. his side, and that's where she Hasan had gotten to his feet. stayed. Dos Santos stood beside the His teeth were bared and his eyes door, watched everybody-even were slits, and his face bore the me. Hasan, crouched against the ridges and valleys of exertion be­ righthand wall, was smoking a neath its sheen of sweat. long-stemmed pipe with a small His beard was a fireshot spear­ bowl. He appeared to be at peace. head. Mama Julie, I guess it was, be­ His cloak, caught high against gan to sing. Other voices picked it some wall decoration, was black up: wings. Papa Legba, ouvri bayel His hands, in a hypnosis of Papa Legba, Attibcm Leg'ba, slow motion, were strangling a ouvri baye pou nou passel non-existent man. Papa Le.gba . . . Animal sounds came from his This went on, and on and on. I throat. began to feel drowsy. I drank He continued to choke nobody. more rum and felt thirstier and Finally, he chuckled and his drank more rum. hands sprang open. I'm not sure how long we had Dos Santos was at his side al­ been there when it happened. The most immediately, talking to him, dancers had been kissing the pole but they inhabited two different and singing and rattling gourds worlds. and pouring out waters, and a One of the dancers began to couple of the hounsi were acting moan softly. Another ·joined him possessed and talking incoherent­ -and others. ly, and the meal-design on the Mama Julie detac.~ed herself floor was all blurred, and there from the circle and came toward was lots of smoke in the air, and I me-just as Hasan started the 26 FAN'UIJY AM> SCIENCE FICTION whole thing over again, this time wrists. He tried to pull his hands with more elaborate 'histrionics. apart, but-well, try bending the The drum continued its steady, bars of your cage sometime and earthdance pronouncement. you11 get the picture. Papa Joe did not even look up. I crossed the room, as did sev­ "A bad sign," said Mama Julie. eral of the others. This proved for­ ''What do you know of this man?" tunate, because Hasan had finally "Plenty," said I, forcing my noticed that someone was stand­ head clear by an act of will. ing ill front of him and dropped "Angelsou," said she. his hands, freeing them. Then he "What?" produced a long-bladed stilleto "Angelsou," she repeated. "He from under his cloak. is a dark god-one to be feared. Wltether or not he woHid ac­ Your friend is possessed by An­ tuaRy hne osed it on Don or any­ gelsou." body else is a moot point, be­ "Explain, please." cause at that moment Myshtigo "He comes seldom to our houn­ stoppered his Coke bottle with his for. He is not wanted 'here. Those thumb and hit him behind the ear be possesses become murderers." with it. Hasan fell forward and "I think Hasan was trying a Don eaught him, and I pried the new pipe mixture-mutant rag­ blade from between the &ngers. weed or something." "Interesting ceremony," ob­ "Angelsou," she said it again. sened the Vegan, "I would never "Your friend will become a killer, have suspected that big fellow of for Angelsou is a deathgod, and harboring such strong religious he only visits with his own." feelings ... "Mama Julie," said I, "Hasan is '1t just goes to show that you a killer. If you had a piece of gum can never be too sure, doesn't it?" for every man he's killed and you Aher fd apologized and said tried to chew it all, you'd look good-night, I picked up Hasan. like a chipmunk. He is a profes­ He was out cold and I was the sional killer-within the limits only one big enough to carry him. of the law, usually. Since the The street was deserted except Code Duello prevails on the for us, and Ague Woyo's big Mainland, he does most of his blazeboat was cutting the waves work there. It has been rumored somewhere just under the eastern that he does an illegal killing on edge of the world and splashing occasion, but this thing has never the sky with all his favorite colors. been proved." Hasan moaned just then and Dos Santos then, trying to stop 8exed his muscles and I felt a the show, seized both Hasan's sharp paill in my shoulder. ••• AND CALL ME CONRAD 11 I set him down on a doorstep the hotmfor. Actually now, what and shook him down. I found two I wanted was a chance to talk to throwing knives, another stilleto, Hasan and find out how much, if a very neat gravity knife, a saw­ anything, he'd be willing to tell edged Bowie, strangling wires, me about his latest employment. and a small metal case contain­ So Phil and I walked it. It ing various powders and vials of wasn't far from the Office com­ liquids which I did not care to pound to the Royal. About seven inspect too closely. I liked the minutes, ambling. gravity knife, so I kept it for my­ 'Why are you suddenly con­ self. It was a Coricama, and very cerned with the Radpol again?" neat. he asked. "'t's been a lorig time since yoa left." Late the next day-call it eve­ "I left at the proper time, and ning-I shanghaied old Phil, de­ aD I'm conc:emed with is whether termined to use him as the price it's coming alive again-like in of admission to Dos Santos' suite the old days. Hasan comes high at the Royal. The Radpol still re­ because he always delivers, and I veres Phil as a sort of Returnist want to know what's in the pack­ Tom Paine, even though he began age." pleading innocent to that about "Are yoa wonied they've found half a century ago, back when he you out?" began getting mysticism and re­ "No. It might be uncomforta­ spectability. While his CaU of ble, but I doubt it would be in­ Earth probably is the best thing capacitating." he'd ever written, he also drafted The Royal loomed before us the Articles of Return, which and we entered. We went directly helped to start the trouble I'd to the suite. As we walked up the wanted started. He may do much padded hallway, Phil, in a fit of disavowing these days, but he was perception, observed: "I'm run­ a troublemaker then, and I'm sure ning interference again." he still files away all the fawning "That about says it." gazes and bright words it con­ "Okay. One'll get you ten you tinues to bring him, takes them find out nothing." out every now and then, dusts "' won't take you up on that. them off, and regards them with You're probably right." something like pleasure. I knocked on the darkwood Besides Phil, I took along a door. pretext-that I wanted to see how "Come in, come in." Hasan was feeling after the la­ It took me ten minutes to tum mentable bash he'd received at the aJilftnation to the lamenta- 28 FANTASY AND SCIENCE PJCTIOJf ble bashing of the Bedouin, as 'Where is he?" Red Wig was there distracting me "Up the hall, left. Games by being there and being dis­ Room." tracting. "I believe I'll go render him "Good morning," she said. my sympathy. Excuse me?'' "Good evening," I said. "Excused," she said, nodding, "Anything new happenillg in and she went away to listen to Arts?" Dos Santos talk at Phil. Phil, of "No." course, welcomed the addition. "Monuments?" Neither looked up as I left. "No." The Games Room was at the "Archives?" other end of the long hallway. As 1'No." I approached, I heard a thunlc "What interesting work you followed by a silence, followed must dol" by another thunk. "Oh, it's been overpublicized I opened the door and looked oMnd glamorized all out of shape inside. by a few romanticists in the In­ He was the only one there. His formation Office. Actually, all we back was to me, but he heard the do is locate, restore, and preserve door open and turned quickly. He the records and artifacts mankind was wearing a long purple dress­ has left lying about the Earth." ing gown and was balancing a "Sort of like cultural garbage knife in his right hand. There collectors?" was a big wad of plastage on the "Mm, yes. I think that's prop- back of his head. erly put." "Good evening, Hasan." "WeU, why?" A tray of knives stood at his "Why what?" side, and he had set a target upon "Why do you do it?" the opposite wall. Two blades "Someone has to, because it's were sticking into the target­ cultural garbage. That makes it one in the center and one about worth collecting. I know my gar­ six inches off, at nine o'clock. bage better than anyone else on "Good evening," he said slowly. Earth." Then, after thinking it over, "You're dedicated, as well as "How are you?" being modest. That's good, too." "Oh, fine. I came to ask you "Yeah. How is Hasan progress­ that same question. How is your ing? The last time I saw him he head?" had stopped entirely." "The pain is great, but it shaD "Up, around. Big lump. Thick pass." skull. No harm." I closed the door behind me. • • • AND CALL ME CONRAD 29 "You must have been having ''You are his bodyguard, eh ?" quite a daydream last night." "That is right. I also guard the "Yes. Mister Dos Santos tells blue one." me I fought with ghosts. I do not "Don says he fears an attempt remember." on M yshtigo's life. Is there an ac­ "You weren't smoking what the tual threat, or is he just being fat Doctor Emmet would call safe?" Cannabis sativa, that's for sure." "It is possible either way, Ka­ "No, Karagee. I smoked a ragee. I do not know. He pays me strige-fleur which had drunk hu­ only to guard." man blood. I found it near the "If I paid you more, would you Old Place of Constantinople and tell me whom you've been hired to dried its blossoms carefully. An kill?" old woman told me it would give "I have only been hired to me sight into the future. She guard, but I would not tell you lied." even if it were otherwise." "... And the vampire-bloom "I didn't think so. Let's go get incites to violence? Well, that's a the knives." new one to write down. By the We crossed and drew the blades way, you just called me Karagee. from the target. I wish you wouldn't. My name is "Now, if it happens to be me­ Nomikos, Conrad Nomikos." which is possible" I offered, "why ''Yes, Karagee. I was surprised don't we settle it right now? We to see you. I had thought you died are each holding two blades. The long ago, when your blazeboat man who leaves this room will say broke up in the bay." that the other attacked him and "Karagee did die then. You that it was a matter of self-de­ have not mentioned to anyone fense. There are no witnesses. We that I resemble him, have you?" were both seen drunk or disorder­ "No, I do not make idle talk." ly last night." "That is a good habit." "No, Karagee." I crossed the room, selected a "No, what? No, it isn't me? Or knife, weighed it, threw it and no, you don't want to do it that laid it about ten inches to the way?" right of center. "Have you been "I could say no, it is not you. working for Mister DosSantos very But you would not know whether long?" I asked him. I spoke the truth or not." "For about the period of a "That is true." month," he replied. "I could say I do not want to He threw his knife. It struck do it that way." five inches below the center. "Is that true?" 30 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "I do not say. But to give you blood. He tried to make it run the satisfaction of an answer, into your eyes, and you kept shak­ what I will say is this: If I ing your head. I was fifteen then wished to kill you, I would not at­ and had only killed three men tempt it with a knife in my hand, myself and I thought that you nor would I box nor wrestle with were going to die because you had you." not even touched him. And then "Why is that?" your right hand crossed to him "Because many years ago when like a thrown hammer, so fast! I was a boy I worked at the Re­ You struck him in the center of sort of Kerch, attending at the_ ta­ that double bone the blue ones bles of the wealthy Vegans. You have in their chests-and they are did not know me then. I had just tougher there than we-and you come up from the places of Pa­ crushed him like an egg. I could mir. You and your friend the poet never have done that, I am sure­ came to Kerch." and that is why I fear your hands "I remember now. Yes ... Phil's and your arms. Later, I learned parents had died that year-they that you had also broken a spider­ were good friends of mine_:_and bat. -No, Karagee, I would kill I was going to take Phil to the you from a distance." university. But there was a Vegan "That was so long . . . I did who had taken his first woman not think anyone remembered." from him, taken her to Kerch. "You won the girl." Yes, the entertainer-! forget his "Yes. I forget her name." name." "But you did not give her back "He was Thrilpai Ligo, the to the poet. You kept her for your­ shajadpa-boxer, and he looked self. That is why he probably hates like a mountain at the end of a you." great plain-high, immovable. "Phil? That girl? I've even for­ He boxed with the Vegan cesti­ gotten what she looked like." the leather straps with the ten "He has never forgotten. That sharpened studs that go all the is why I think he hates you. I can way around the hand-open­ smell hate, sniff out its sources. handed." You took away his first woman. I "Yes, I remember . . ." was there." "You had never boxed shajadpa "It was her idea." before, but you fought with him "... And he grows old and you for the girl. A great crowd came, stay young. It is sad, Karagee, of the Vegans and the Earth girls, when a friend has reason to hate -a and I stood on a table to watch. friend." After a minute your head was all "Yes." • • • AND CALL ME CONllAD 31 "And I do not answer your at the target. I closed the door and questions." moved back up the corridor. As I "It is possible that you were went, I heard another thunk and hired to kill the Vegan." it sounded much closer than the "It is possible." first ones had. It echoed all "Why?" around me, there in the hallway. "I said only that it i9 possible, not that it is fact." "' "' "' "Then I will ask you one more question only and be done with As the six big Skimmers fled it.-What good would come of across the oceans towards Egypt I the Vegan's death? His book could turned my thoughts first to Kos be a very good thing in the way of and Cassandra and then dragged Vegan-human relations." them ba~k with some difficulty "I do not know what good or and s.!nt them on ahead to the bad would come of it, Karagee. Let land of sand, the Nile, mutated us throw more knives." crocs, and some dead Pharaohs We did. I picked up the range whom one of my most current and the balance and put two right projects was then disturbing in the center of the target. Then ("Death comes on swift wings to Hasan squeezed two in beside he who defiles ..." etc.), and I them, the last one giving out the thought then of humanity, rough­ sharp pain-cry of metal as it vi­ ly ensconced on the Titan way­ brated against one of mine. station, working in the Earthof­ "I will tell you a thing," I said, fice, abasing itself on Taler and as we drew them again. "I am Bakab, getting by on Mars, and head of the tour and responsible doing so-so on Rylpah, Divbah, for the safety of its members. I Litan, and a couple dozen other too, will guard the Vegan." worlds in the Vegan Combine. "That will be a very good thing, Then I thought about the Vegans. Karagee. He needs protecting." The blueskinned folk with the I placed the knives back in the funny names and the dimples like tray and moved to the door. pock-marks had taken us in when "We will be leaving at nine to­ we were cold, fed us when we morrow morning, you know. I'll were hungry. Yeah. They appre­ have a convoy of Skimmers at the ciated the fact that our Martian first field in the Office compound." and Titanian colonies had suf­ "Yes. Good night, Karagee." fered from nearly a century of ". . . And call me Conrad." sudden self-sufficiency-after the "Yes." Three Days incident-before a He had a knife ready to throw workable interstellar vehicle had 32 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION been developed. Like the boll but appreciable revenue every Ve­ weevil (Emmet tells me) we were gan fiscal year. That is why-the just looking. for a home, because Office, Lorel, George, Phil and we'd used up the one we had. Did all that. the Vegans reach for the insecti­ Far below, the ocean was a cide? No. Wise elder race that bluegray rug beit]g pulled out they are, they permitted us to set­ from beneath us. The dark conti­ tle among their worlds, to live nent replaced it. We raced on to­ and work in their land cities, ward New Cairo. their seacities. For even a culture We set down outside the city. as advanced as the Vegans' has There's no real airstrip. We just some need for hand labor of the dropped aJI six Skimmers down opposing ~umb variety. Good do­ in an empty field we used as one, mestic servants cannot be re­ and we posted George as a guard. placed by machines, nor can ma­ Old Cairo is still radioactively chine monitors, good gardeners, hot, but the people with whom salt sea fisherfolk, subterranean one can do business live mainly and subaquean hazard workers, in New Cairo so things were and ethnic entertainers of the pretty much okay for the tour. alien variety. Admitted, the pres­ Myshtigo did want to see the ence of human dwelling places mosque of Kait Bey in the City of lowers the value of adjacent Ve­ the Dead, which had survived the gan properties, but then humans Three Days; he settled though, for themselves compensate for it by me taking him up in my Skim­ contributing to the greater wel­ mer and flying in low, slow cir­ fare. Which thought brought me cles about it while he took photo­ back to Earth. The Vegans had graphs and did some peering. In never seen a completely devas­ the way of monuments, it was tated civilization before, so they really the pyramids and Luxor, are fascinated by our home plan­ Karnak, and the Valley of Kings et. Fascinated enough to tolerate and the Valley of Queens that he our absentee government on Tal­ wanted to see. er. Enough to buy Earthtour tick­ It was well that we viewed the ets to view the ruins. Even enough mosque from the air. Dark shapes to buy property here and set up scurried below us, stopping only resorts. There is a certain kind of to hurl rocks up toward the ship. fascination to a planet that is run "What are they?" asked like a museum. (What was it Myshtigo. James Joyce said about Rome?) "Hot Ones," said I. "Sort of hu­ Anyhow, dead Earth still brings man. They vary in size, shape its living grandchiJdren a small and meanness." • • • AND CALL ME CONJtAD 33 After circling for a time he "Good," said I, somewhat was satisfied, and we returned to pleased that no one had asked me the field. what "the work" was. I wanted to So, landing again beneath a surprise them. glaring sun, we secured the final "How is your wife, and tlte Skimmer and disembarked, mov­ children . . . ?" ing across equal proportions of 'They are fine," he stated. sand and broken pavement-two ". . . The new one?" temporary tour assistants, me, "He has survived-and without Myshtigo, Dos Santos and Red defect," he said proudly. "I sent Wig, Ellen, Hasan. Ellen had de my wife to Corsica until he was cided at the last minute to accom­ delivered. Here is his pictnre." pany her husband on the journey. I pretended to study it, mak­ There were fields of high, shiny ing the expected appreciative sugar cane on both sides of the noises. Then, "Speaking of pic­ road. In a moment we had left tures," I said "do you need any them behind and were passing the more equipment for the filming'?" low outbuildings of the city. The "No, we are well-stocked. All road widened. Here and there a goes well. When do you wish to palm tree cast some shade. Two view the work?" great-eyed, brown-eyed children "Just as soon as we have some­ looked up as we passed. They had thing to eat." been watching a weary, six-legged "Are you a Moslem?" interrupt­ cow tum a great sakieh wheel, in ed Myshtigo. much the same way as cows have "I am of the Coptic faith," re­ always turned great sakieh wheels plied Rameses, not smiling. hereabouts, only this one left "Oh, really? That was the more hoofprints. Monophysite heresy, was it not?" My area supervisor, Rameses 'We do not consider ourselves Smith, met us at the inn. He was heretics." big, his golden face tightly con­ "About your book, Srin Shtigo tained within a fine net of wrin­ ••."I interrupted. kles; and he had the typical sad My use of the honorific stopped eyes, but his constant chuckle him. quickly offset them. "Yes?" he answered. We sat sipping beer in the main "My impression," said I, "is hall of the inn while we waited that you do not wish to discuss it for George. Local guards had at any length at this time. I respect been sent to relieve him. this feeling of course, but it "The work is progressing well," places me in a slightly awkward Rameses told me. position as head of this tour." We 34 FANTAsY AND SCIENCE FICTION both knew I should have asked ent generation have never even him in private, especially after his seen the Earth, except on tapes­ reply to Phil at the reception, but and you must admit that they are I was feeling cantankerous and hardly the most encouraging doc.. wanted to let him know it, as well uments." as to rechannel the talk. So, "I'm "I disagree with you," said Dos curious," I said, "whether it will Santos, "and I find your attitude be primarily a travelogue of the dreadfully patrician." places we visit, or if you would "That is as it should be," re­ like assistance in directing your plied M yshtigo. attention to special local condi­ tions of any sort-say, political, High sun, short shadows, hot­ or current cultural items." that's how it was. I didn't want "I am primarily interested in any sand-cars or Skimmers spoil­ writing a descriptive travel-book " ing the scene, so I made everybody he said, "but I will appreciate hike it. It wasn't that far, and I your comments as we go along. I took a slightly roundabout way in thought that was your job, any­ order to achieve the calculated way. As it is, I do have a general effect. awareness of Earth traditions and We walked a crooked mile, current affairs, and I'm not very climbing some, dipping some. I much concerned with them." confiscated George's butterfly net Dos Santos, who was pacing so as to prevent any annoying and smoking as our meal was be­ pauses as we passed by the several ing prepared, stopped iD mid­ clover fields which lay along our stride and said : route. "Srin Shtigo, what are your Walking backwards through feelings toward the Returnist time, that's how it was-with movement? Are you sympathetic bright birds flashing by (clare/ with our aims? -Or do you con­ cltuel), and a couple camels ap­ sider it a dead issue?" pearing against the far horizon "Yes," he replied, "to the latter. whenever we topped a small rise, I believe that when one is dead Ellen, moist already, kept fanning one's only obligation then is to herself with a big green feather satisfy the consumer. I respect triangle; Red Wig walked tall, your aims but I do not see how tiny beads of perspiration season­ you can possibly hope to re­ ing her upper lip, eyes hidden be­ alize them. Why should your peo­ hind sunshades which had dark­ ple give up the security they now ened themselves as much as they possess to return to this place? could. Finally, we were there. We Most of the members of the pres- climbed the last, low hill. • • • AND CAU.. ME CONL\D 35 "Behold," said Rameses. Myshtigo turned to me, his am­ "Madre de Diosl" said Dos ber eyes glowing strangely. Santos. "You!" he said. Hasan grunted. "I," I acknowledged, "am Com­ Red Wig turned toward me missioner thereof-that is cor­ quickly then, then turned away. rect." I couldn't read her expression I» "Why has no one else heard of cause of the shades. this action of yours?" "What are they doing?" asked "Because very few people come Myshtigo. It was the first time I here anymore," I explained. had seen him genuinely surprised. "-Which is another good reason "Why, they are dismantling the for dismantling the thing. It does­ great pyramid of Cheops," said I. n't even get looked at much these After a time Red Wig asked it. days." "Why?" she asked. "I came here from another world "Well now," I told her, "they're to see it!" kind of short on building materi­ "Well, take a quick look then," als hereabouts, the stuff from Old I told him. "It's going away fast." Cairo being radio-active-so He turned and stared. they're obtaining it by knocking "You obviously have no concep­ apart that old piece of solid geom­ tion of its intrinsic value. Or if etry out there." youdo .••" "They are desecrating a monu­ "On the contrary, I know exact­ ment to the past glories of the hu­ ly what it's worth." man race!" she exclaimed. ". . . And those unfortunate "Nothing is cheaper than past creatures you have working down glories," I observed. "It's the pres­ there," his voice rose as he studied ent that we are concerned with, the scene, "under the hot ravs of and they need building materials your ugly sun-they're lab~ring now." under the most primitive condi­ "For how long has this been go­ tions! Haven't you ever heard of ing on?" asked Myshtigo, his words moving machinery?" rushing together. "Of course. It's expensive." "It was three .days ago " said "And your foremen are carrymg Rameses, "that we began the dis­ whips! How can you treat viJur mantling." own people that way? It's per­ "What gives you the right to do verse!" a thing like that?" "All those men volunteered for "It was authorized by the Earth­ the job, at token salaries-and office Department of Arts, Monu­ Actors' Equity won't let us use the ments and Archives, Srin." whips, eYen though the men ar- 36 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION gued in favor of it. All we're al· "It might be easier than you lowed to do is crack them in the think." air near them." "We'll see." "Actors' Equity?" "We may." "Their union. -Want to see We turned again toward the some machinery?" I gestured. great 90 percent pyramid of Chc­ "Look up on that hill." ops/Khufu. Myshtigo began tak­ He did. ing notes once more. "\Vhat's going on there?" "I'd rather you viewed it from "We're recording it on view­ here, for now," I said. "Our pres­ tape." ence would waste valuable foot­ "To what end?" age. \Ve're anachronisms. We can "\Vhen we're finished we're go­ go down during coffee break." ing to edit it down to viewable "I agree," said Myshtigo, "and I length and run it backwards. 'The am certain I know an anachron­ Building of the Great Pyramid,' ism when I see one. But I have we're going to call it. Should be seen all that I care to here. Let us good for some laughs-also mon­ go back to the inn. I wish to talk ey. Your historians have been con­ with the locals." jecturing as to exactly how we put Then, "I'll see Sakkara ahead it together ever since the day they of schedule, then," he mused. heard about it. This may make "You haven't began dismantling them somewhat happier. I decided all the monuments of Luxor, Kar­ a BFMI operation would go over nak, and the Valley of Kings yet best." have you?" "B.F.M.I.?" "Not yet, no." "Brute Force and Massive Ig­ "Good. Then we'll visit them norance. Look at them hamming ahead of time." it up, will you?-following the "Do you really mean everything camera, lying down and standing you say?" asked Diane as we up quickly when it swings in their walked back. direction. They'll be collapsing "In my fashion." all over the place in the finished "How do you think of such product. But then, this is the first things?" Earthfilm in years. They're real "In Greek, of course. Then I excited." translate them into English. I'm Myshtigo laughed. real good at it." "You are tougher than I "Who are you?" thought Nomikos," he observed. "Ozymandias. Look on my "But you are not indispensable." works ye mighty and despair." "Try having a civil servant fired." ''I'm not mighty." , , , AND CALL ME CONRAD 37 "I wonder . . ." I said, and I guard, renting the felucca for our left the part of her face that I trip-which paralleled the King­ could see wearing a rather funny God's journey from Karnak to expression as we walked along. Luxor. Myshtigo had wanted it that way. Nights, Hasan would The next six days were rather either practice with the assagai eventful and somewhat unforget­ he had bartered from a big N u­ table, extremely active, and sort of bian or he would strip to the ugly-beautiful-in the way that a waist and wrestle for hours with ftower can be, with its petals all his tireless robot-golem. A worthy intact and a dark and runny rot­ opponent was the rolem. Hasan spot in the center. Here's how ... had it programmed at twice the M yshtigo must have inter­ statistically-averaged strength of viewed every stone ram along the a man and had upped its reflex­ four miles of the Way to Karnak. time by fifty percent. Its "mem­ Both in the blaze of day and by ory" contained hundreds of wres­ torchlight we navigated the ruins, tling holds, and its governor theo­ disturbing bats, rats, snakes and retically prevented it from killing insects, listening to the Vegan's or maiming its opponent-all monotonous note-taking in his through a series of chemelectrical monotonous language. At night afferent nerve-analogues which we camped on the sands, setting permitted it to gauge to an ounce up a two hundred meter electrical the amount of pressure necessary warning perimeter and posting to snap a bone or tear a tendon. two guards. The boadile has a Rolem was about five feet, six head something like a croc's, only inches in height and weighed bigger. Around forty feet long. around two hundred fifty pounds; Able to roll itself into a big beach­ manufactured on Bakab, he was ball with teeth. Fast on land or quite expensive, was dough-col­ in water. But the boadile is cold­ ored and caricature-featured, and blooded and the nights were chill. his brains were located somewhere So there was relatively little dan­ below where his navel would be­ ger from without. if golems had navels-to protect Huge campfires lighted the his thinkstuff from Greco-Roman nights, all about the areas we shocks. Even as it is, accidents chose, because the Vegan wanted can happen. People have been things primitive-for purposes of killed by the things, when some­ atmosphere, I guessed. Our Skim­ thing goes amok in the brains or mers were further south. We had some of the afferents, or just be­ Rown them to a place I knew of cause the people themselves and left them there under Office slipped or tried to jerk away, sup- 38 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION plying the necessary extra ounces. you remember a passing country­ I'd had one once for almost a year, side you might have seen through programmed for boxing. I used to a late summer evening storm-as spend fifteen minutes or so with it a series of isolated lightning-filled every afternoon. Got to thinking still-shots . . . of it as a person almost. Then one Having spoken with Cassandra day it fouled me and I pounded it for the better part of an hour, I for over an hour and finally concluded the transmission with knocked its head off. The thing a promise to cop a Skimmer the kept right on boxing, and I following afternoon and spend the stopped thinking of it as a friendly next night on Kos. I recall our last sparring partner right then. It's a words. weird feeling, boxing with a head­ ". . . Take care Konstantin. less golem, you know? -Sort of I have been dreaming bad like waking from a pleasant dream dreams." and finding a nightmare crouched "Bosh, Cassandra. Good night." at the foot of your bed. It doesn't And who knows but that her really "see" its opponent with dreams might have been the result those eye-things it has; it's all of a temporal shockwave moving sheathed about with piezoelectric backwards from a 9.6 Richter radar mesentery, and it "watches" reading? from all its surfaces. Still, the A certain cruel gleam filling death of an illusion tends to dis­ his eyes, Dos Santos applauded as concert. I turned mine off and Hasan hurled Rolem to the ground never turned it back on again. with a thunderous crash. That Sold it to a camel trader for a particular earthshaker continued, pretty good price. Don't know if however, long after the golem had he ever got the head back on. But climbed back to his feet and got­ he was a Turk, so who cares? ten into another· crouch, his arms Anywhich-Hasan would tan­ doing serpent-things in the Arab's gle with Rolem, both of them direction. The ground shook and gleaming in the firelight and we'd shook. all sit on blankets and watch, and 'What power! Still do I feel it!" bats would swoop low occasion­ cried DosSantos. "Ole!" ally, like big, fast ashes, and ema­ "It is a seismic disturbance," ciated clouds would cover the said George. "Even though I'm not moon, veil-like, and then move on a geologist-" again. It was that way on that "Earthquake!" yelled his wife, third night, that third night, when dropping an unpasturized date she I went mad. had been feeding Myshtigo. I remember it only in the way There was no reason to run, no • • • AND CALL ME CONitAD 39 ·place to run to. There was nothing "Several of the Aegaean islands nearby that could fall on us. The were no longer present in the pic­ ground was level and pretty bar­ tures it transmitted ..." ren. So we just sat there and were "No," I said. thrown about, even knocked flat a ''I'm afraid that Kos was one of few times. The fires did amazing them." things. "No" I said. Rolem's time was up and he ''I'm sorry," he told me, "but went stiff then, and Hasan came that is the way it shows. I don't and sat with George and myself. know what else to say . . ." The tremors lasted the better part 'That's enough," I said. "That's of an hour, and they came again, all. That's it. Goodbye. We'll talk more weakly, many times during more later. No! I guess- No!" that night. After the first bad "Wait! Conradi" shock had run its course, we got in I went mad. touch with the Port. The instru­ Bats, shaken loose from the ments there showed that the cen­ night, were swooping about me. I ter of the thing lay a good distance struck out with my right hand and to the north of us. killed one as it flashed in my di­ A bad distance, really. rection. I waited a few seconds . . • In the Mediterranean. and killed another. Then I picked The Aegaean, to be more spe- up a big rock with both hands and cific. was about to smash the radio when I felt sick, and suddenly I was. George laid a hand on my shoul­ I tried to put through a call to der, and I dropped the rock and h:os. knocked his hand away and back­ Nothing. handed him across the mouth. I My Cassandra, my lovely lady don't know what became of him my princess . . • .Where was then, but as I stooped to raise the she? For two hours I tried to find rock once more I heard the sound out. Then the Port called me. of footfalls behind me. I dropped It was Lorel's voice, not just to one knee and pivotted on it, some lob watch operator's. scooping up a handful of sand to "Uh-Conrad, I don't know throw in someone's eyes. They how to tell you, exactly, what hap- were all of them there: Myshtigo pened .• .'' . and Red Wig and Dos Santos, "Just talk," I said, "and stop Rameses, Ellen, three local civil when you're finished." servants, and Hasan-approach­ "An observe-satellite passed ing in a group. Someone yelled your way about twelve minutes "Scatter!" when they saw my face, ago," he crackled across the bands. and they fanned out. 40 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Then they were everyone I'd someone with my fist. I shook my· ever hated-I could feel it. I saw self. My galabieh was tom and other faces, heard other voices. dirty, so I tore it the rest of the Everyone I'd ever known, hated, way off and threw it away. wanted to smash, had smashed, I looked around. They had stood there resurrected before the stopped coming at me, and it was­ fire, and only the whites of their n't fair-it wasn't fair that they teeth were showing through the should stop then when I wanted so shadows that crossed over their badly to see things breaking. So I faces as they smiled and came to­ raised up the man at my feet and ward me, bearing various dooms slapped him down again. Then I in their hands, and soft, persuas­ raised him up again and someone ive words on their lips-so I yelled "Ehl Karaghiosis!" and be­ threw the sand at the foremost gan calling me names in broken and rushed him. Greek. I let the man fall back to My uppercut knocked him over the ground and turned. backwards, then two Egyptians There, before the fire-there were on me from both sides. were two of them: one tall and I shook them loose, and in the beared, the other squat and heavy comer of my colder eye saw there and hairless and molded out of a a great Arab with something like a mixture of putty and earth. black avocado in his hand. He "My friend says he will break was swinging it toward my head, you, Greek!" called out the tall so I dropped down. He had been one, as he did something to the coming in my direction and I other's back. managed to give his stomach more I moved toward them and the than just a shove, so he sat down man of putty and mud sprang at suddenly. Then the two men I me. had thrown away were back on me He tripped me, but I came up again. A woman was screaming, again fast and caught him be­ somewhere in the distance, but I neath the armpits and threw him couldn't see any women. off to the side. But he recovered I tore my right arm free and his footing as rapidly as I had, and batted someone with it, and the he came back again and caught man went down and another took me behind the neck with one his place. From straight ahead a hand. I did the same to him, also blue man threw a rock which seizing his elbow-and we locked struck me on the shoulder and together there, and he was strong. only made me madder. I raised a Because he was strong, I kept kicking body into the air and changing holds, testing his threw it against another, then I hit strength. He was also fast, accom- • • • AND CALL ME CONRAD 41 modating every move I made al­ My arms shot up over my head most as soon as I thought of it. and he fell backward. I threw my arms up between It should have broken a man's his, hard, and stepped back on my neck, the force of that big snap reinforced leg. Freed for a mo­ that came when my hands struck ment, we orbited each other, seek­ his chin and he got a look at his ing another opening. heels from the backside. I kept my arms low and I was But he sprang up immediately, bent well forward because of his ani I knew then that he was no shortness. For a moment, my arms mortal wrestler, but one of those were too near my sides and he creatures born not of woman; moved in faster than I had seen rather, I knew, he had been tom anyone move before, ever, and he Antaeus-like from the womb of caught me in a body lock that the Earth herself. squeezed the big flat flowers of I brought my hands down hard moisture out of my pores and on his shoulders and he dropped caused a great pain in my sides. to his knees. I caught him across Still his arms tightened, and I the throat then and stepped to his knew that it would not be long be­ right side and got my left knee fore he broke me unless I could under the lower part of his back. I break his hold. leaned forward, bearing down on I doubled my hands into fists his thighs and shoulders, trying to and got them against his belly break him. and pushed. His grip tightened. I But I couldn't. He just kept stepped backwards and heaved bending until his head touched forward with both arms. My the ground and I couldn't push hands went up higher between us him any further. and I got my right fist against the No one's back bends like that palm of my left hand and began to and doesn't snap, but his did. push them together and lift with Then I heaved up with my my arms. My head swam as my knee and let go, and he was on me arms came up higher, and my kid­ again-that fast. neys were on fire. Then I tight­ So I tried to strangle him. My ened all the muscles in my back arms were much longer than his. I and my shoulders and felt the caught him by the throat with strength flow down through my both hands, my thumbs pressing arms and come together in my against what should have been his hands, and I smashed them up to­ windpipe. He got his arms across ward the sky and his chin hap­ mine though, at the elbows and pened to be in the way, but it inside, and began to pull down­ didn't stop them. ward and out. I kept squeezing, 42 FANTASY AND SCMNCI FICTION - waiting for his face to darken, his I released my choke, seeing that eyes to bug out. My elbows began it wasn't working, and I placed to bend under his downward pres­ the palm of my left hand beneath sure. Then his arms came across his right elbow. Then I reached and caught me by the throat. across the top of his arms and And we stood there and choked seized his right wrist with my one another. Only he wouldn't be other hand, and I crouched as strangled. low as I could and pushed up on His thumbs were like two spikes his elbow and pulled up on his pressing into the muscles in my wrist. neck. I felt my face Bush. My As he went off balance to his temples began to throb. left and the grip was broken I kept Off in the distance, I beard a hold of the wrist, twisting it so scream: that the elbow was exposed up­ "Stop it, Hasan! It's not sup­ wards. I stiffened my left hand, posed to do that!" snapped it up beside my ear, and It sounded like Red Wig's brought it down across the elbow voice. Anyhow, that's the name joint. that came into my head: Red Wig. Nothing. There was no snap­ Which meant that Donald Dos ping sound. The arm just gave Santos was somewhere nearby. way bending backwards at an un­ And she had said "Hasan," a name natural angle. written on another picture that I released the wrist and he fell came suddenly clear. to one knee. Then he stood again, Which meant that I was Con­ quickly, and as he did so the arm rad and that I was in Egypt, and straightened itself and then bent that the expressionless face swim­ forward again into a normal posi­ ming before me was therefore that tion. of the golem-wrestler, Rolem, a If I knew Hasan's mind, then creature which could be set for Rolem's timer had been set for five times the strength of a hu­ maximum-two hours. Which man being and probably was so was a pretty long time, all things set, a creature which could be considered. given the reflexes of an adrenal­ But this time around I knew ized cat, and doubtless had them who I was and what I was doing. in full operation. Also, I knew what went into the Only a golem wasn't supposed structuring of a golem. This one to kill, except by accident, and was a wrestling golem. Therefore, Rolem was trying to kill me. it could not box. Which meant that his governor I cast a quick look back over my wasn't functioning. shoulder, to the place where I had • • • AIJfD CAU. ME CONRAD 4J been standing when the whole as I landed a right below the belt, thing had started-over by the hoping to jar his brains a bit. radio tent. It was about fifty feet Then we were there and I saw away. what I wanted-the big rock I'd He almost had me then. Just intended to use on the radio. I during that split second while I feinted with my left, then seized had turned my attention to the rear him, shoulder-and-thigh, and he had reached out and seized me raised him high up over my behind the neck with one hand head. and caught me beneath the chin I bent backwards, I tightened with the other. up my muscles, and then I hurled He might have broken my neck, him down upon the rock. had he been able to follow It caught him in the stomach. through, but there came another He began to rise again, but more temblor at that moment-a severe slowly than he had before, and I one, which cast us both to the kicked him in· the stomach, three ground-and I broke this hold, times, with my great reinforced also. right boot, and I watched him I scrambled to my feet seconds sink back down; later, and the earth was still shak­ A strange whirring sound had ing. Rolem was up too, though, begun in his midsection. and facing me again. The ground shook again. Rolem We were like two drunken sail­ crumpled, stretched out, and the ors fighting on a storm-tossed ship only sign of motion was in the fin· gers of his left hand. They kept He came at me and I gave clenching and unclenching-re­ ground. minding me, oddly, of Hasan's I hit him with a left jab, and hands that night back at the houn- while he snatched at my arm I for. punched him in the stomach. Then I turned slowly and they Then I backed off. were all standing there: Myshtigo He came on again and I kept and Ellen, and Dos Santos with a throwing punches. Boxing was to puffed-up cheek, Red Wig, him what the fourth dimension Is George, Rameses and Hasan, and to me-he just couldn't see it. He the three plastaged Egyptians. I kept advancing, shaking off my took a step toward them then and punches, and I kept retreating in they began to fan out again, their the direction of the radio tent, and faces filling with fear. But I shook the ground kept shaking, and my head. somewhere a woman was scream­ "No, I'm all right now," I said, ing, and I heard a shouted "Olef" ''but leave me alone. I'm going 44 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION down to the river to bathe •" case, then the question was why? and I took seven steps and then I wondered whether his employer someone must have pulled out the knew that I had once been Kara­ plug, because I gurgled, every­ ghiosis. If he did though, why thing swirled, and the world ran should he want to kill the founder away down the drain. and first Secretary of his own Party?-the man who had sworn The days that followed were that he would not see the Earth ashes and the nights were iron. sold out from under him and The spirit that had been tom from turned into a sporting house by a my soul was buried deeper than pack of blue aliens--not see it any mummy that lay mouldering without fighting, anyhow-and beneath those sands. It is said had organized about himself a ca­ that the dead forget the dead in bal which systematically lowered the house of Hades, Cassandra, the value of all Vegan-owned Ter­ but I hoped it was not so. I went ran property to zero, and even through the motions of conduct­ went so far as to raze the Talerites' ing a tour, and Lorel su~gcsted lush realty office on Madagascar­ that I appoint someone else and the man whose ideals he allegedly take a leave of absence myself. espoused, though they were cur­ I couldn't. rently being channeled into more What would I do then? -Sit peaceful, legalistic modes of prop­ and brood in some Old Place, erty-defense-why should he want cadging drinks from unwary trav­ that man dead? elers? No. Some kind of motion is -Therefore, he had either sold always essential at such times; its out the Party or he didn't know forms eventually generate a con­ who I was and had had some other tent for their empty insides. So I end in mind when he instructed went on with the tour and turned Hasan to kill me. my attention to the small myster­ Or else Hasan was acting under ies it contained. someone else's orders. I took Rolem apart and studied But who else could there be? his governor. It had been broken, And again why? I had no answer. I of course-which meant that decided I wanted one. either I had done it during the early stages of our conflict, or The first condolence had been Hasan had done it as he was George's. souping him up to take the fight "I'm sorry, Conrad," he'd said, out of me. If Hasan had done it, looking past my elbow, and then then he did not just want me down at the sand, and then glanc­ beaten, but dead. If such was the ing up quickly into my face. • • • AND CALL ME CONRAD 45 Saying human things upset EDen herself, while she is cap­ him, and made him want to go able of intense feelings, is ever the away. I could tell. It is doubtful faulty windup doll. Something that the parade consisting of El­ always goes sprong before she can len and myself, which had passed take action on her feelings and by that previous summer, had occu­ the next day she feels as strongly pied much of his attention. His about something else. Her condol­ passions stopped outside the bio­ ence went something like this: logical laboratory. I remember "Conrad, you just don't know when he'd dissected the last dog how sorry I am! Really. Even on Earth. After four years of though I never met her, I knaw scratching his ears and combing how you must feel," and her voice the fleas from his tail and listen­ went up and down the scale, and ing to him bark, George had called I knew she believed what she was Rolf to him one day. Rolf had saying, and I thanked her too. trotted in, bringing along the old Hasan, though, came up beside dishrag they'd always played ll.t me while I was standing there, tug-of-war with, and George staring out over the suddenly tugged him real close and gave swollen and muddy Nile. We him a hypo and then opened him stood together for a time and then up. He wanted to get him while he said, "Your woman is gone and he was still in his prime. Has the your heart is heavy. Words will skeleton mounted in his lab. He not lighten the weight, and what also wanted to raise his kids­ is written is written. But let it also Mark and Dorothy and Jim-in be put down that I grieve with Skinner Boxes, but Ellen had put you." Then we stood there awhile her foot down each time (like longer and he walked away. bangl bangl bang/) in post-preg­ I didn't wonder about him. He nancy seizures of motherhood was the one person who could be which lasted just long enough to dismissed, even though his hand spoil the initial stimuli-balances had set the machine in motion. George had wanted to establish. So He never held grudges; he never I couldn't really see him as having killed for free. He had no per­ much desire to take my measure sonal motive to kill me. That his for a wooden sleeping bag of the condolences were genuine, I was underground sort. If he'd wanted certain. Killing me would have me dead, it would probably have nothing to do with the sincerity of been subtle, fast, and exotic­ his feelings in a matter like this. with something like Divban rab­ A true professional must respect bit-venom. But no, he didn't care some sort of boundary between that much. I was sure. self and task. 46 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION M ysh.tigo said no words of sym­ "And there is something I must pathy. It would have been alien to ask you. Not now though. Later." his nature. Among the Vegans, "Sure," I said, and I returned to death is a time of rejoicing. On watching the river after they left, the spiritual level it means sagl­ and I thought about those last completion---the fragmentation two. They had sounded as sorry as of the psyche into little pleasure­ everyone else, but it seemed they sensing pinpricks, which are scat­ had to be mixed up in the golem tered all over the place to partici­ business, somehow. I was sure, pate in the great universal orgasm; though, that it was Diane who and on the material plane it is had screamed while Rolem was represented by ansakundabad't­ choking me, screamed for Hasan ceremonial auditing of most of the to stop him. That left Don, and I deceased's personal possessions, had by then come to entertain the reading of his distribution-de­ strong doubts that he ever did any­ sire and the division of his wealth, thing without first consulting her. accompanied by much feasting, Which left nobody. singing, and drinking. And there was no real motive Dos Santos said to me : "It is a apparent ... sad thing that has happened to And it could all have been an you, my friend. It is to lose the accident .. . blood of one's own veins to lose But .. . one's woman. Your sorrow is great But I had this feeling-down and you cannot be comforted. It there around the stomach, where is like a smouldering fire that will feelings come from-I had this not die out, and it is a sad and feeling that someone wanted to terrible thing. kill me. I knew that Hasan was "Death is cruel and it is dark " not above taking two jobs at the he finished, and his eyes were same time, and for different em­ moist-for be it Gypsy, Jew, ployers, if there was no conflict of Moor, or what have you, a victim interests. is a victim to a Spaniard, a thing And this made me happy. to be appreciated on one of those It gave me a purpose, some­ mystically obscure levels which I thingtodo. lack. There's really nothing quite Then Red Wig came up beside like someone's wanting you dead me and said, "Dreadful . . • to make you want to go on living. Sorry. Nothing else to say, to do, I would find him, find out why, but sorry." and stop him. I nodded. "Thanks." Death's. second pass was fast, • • • AND CALL ME CONRAD 47 and as much as I would have liked So I made a dash, but by the to have pinned it on an human time I got there it had two coils agent, I couldn't. It was just one around him and he was about of those diddles of dumb destiny two shades bluer, and those teeth which sometimes come like unin­ were closing in on him. vited guests at dinnertime. Its fi­ Now, there is one way to make nale, however, left me quite puz­ any kind of constrictor loosen up, zled and gave me some new con­ at least for a moment. I grabbed fusing thoughts to think. for its high head, which had It came like this . • • slowed down just a bit as it con­ Down by the river, that great templated its breakfast, and I fertile flooder, that eraser of managed to catch my fingers un­ boundaries and father of plane der the scalcy ridges at the sides geometry, sat the Vegan, making of that head. sketches of the opposite bank. I I dug my thumbs into its eyes suppose had he been on that bank as hard as I could. he would have been sketching the Then a spastic giant hit me one he sat upon, but this is cyni­ with a graygreen whip. cal conjecture. What bothered I picked myself up and I was me was the fact that he had come about ten feet from where I had off alone, down to this warm, been standing. M yshtigo had been marshy spot, had not told anyone thrown further up the bank. He where he was going, and had was recovering his feet just as it brought along nothing more lethal attacked again. than a No. 2 pencil. It reared up about eight feet off It happened. the ground and toppled toward An old, mottled log which had me. I threw myself to the side and been drifting in near the shore that big, flat head missed me by suddenly ceased being an old, inches, its impact showering me mottled log. A long, serpentine with dirt and pebbles. back end whipped skyward, a I rolled further and started to bushel full of teeth appeared at rise, but the tail came around and the other end, and lots of little knocked me down again. Then I legs found solid ground and start­ scrambled backwards but was too ed acting like wheels. late to avoid the coil it threw. It I yelled and snatched at my caught me low around the hips belt. and I fell again. .M yshtigo dropped his pad and Then a pair of blue arms bolted. wrapped themselves around the It was on him though, and I body above the coil, but they C'ouldn't fire then. couldn't hold on for more than a 48 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION few seconds. Then we were both us too tightly to give it the neces­ tied up in knots. sary footage. I struggled, but how do you So it unwound a little, straight­ fight a thick, slippery armored ening some, and pulling back its cable with messes of little legs head. I gained a kneeling posi­ that keep tearing at you? My right tion. Myshtigo was in a sagging arm was pinned to my side by crouch about six feet away from then, and I couldn't reach . far me. enough with my left hand to do My right hand slipped some any more gouging. The coils tight­ more, almost to the point where I ened. The head moved toward me would lose all my leverage. and I tore at the body. I beat at it Then I heard a great cry. and I clawed it, and I finally The shudder came almost si­ managed to tear my right arm free, multaneously. I snapped my arms giving up some skin in the proc­ free as I felt the thing's strength ess. wane for a second. There was a I blocked with my right hand as dreadful clicking of teeth and a the head descended. My hand final constriction. I blacked out came up beneath its lower jaw, for a moment. caught it, and held it there, keep­ Then I was fighting free, un­ ing the head back. The big coil tangling myself. The smooth tightened around my waist, more wooden shaft which had skewered powerful than even the grip of the the boadile was taking the life golem had been. Then it shook its from it, and . its movements sud­ head sidewards, away from my denly became spasmodic rather hand, and the head came down than aggressive. and the jaws opened wide. I was knocked down twice by Myshtigo's struggles must have all its lashing about, but I got irritated it and slowed it some, Myshtigo free, and we got about giving me time for my last de­ fifty feet away and watched it die. fense. This took quite awhile. I thrust my hands up into its Hasan stood there, expression­ mouth and held its jaws apart. less. The assagai he had spent so The roof of its mouth was slimy much time practicing with had and my palm began to slip along done its work. When George dis­ it, slowly. I pressed down harder sected the creature later we on the lower jaw, as hard as I learned that the shaft had lodged could. The mouth opened another within two inches of its heart, half foot and seemed locked there. severing the big artery. It had two It tried to draw back then, to dozen legs. make me let go, but its coils bound Dos Santos stood beside Hasan • • • AND CALL ME CONRAD 49 and Diane stood beside Dos San­ from the Port, and Rameses called tos. Everyone else from the camp me into the radio tent. was there. "Yeah?" said I, to the radio. "Good show," I said, "fine shot. "Conrad, this is Phil. I am fly­ Thanks." ing to Athens this afternoon. I "It was nothing," Hasan re­ should like to join you on this leg plied. of your tour, if it is all right with It was nothing, he had said. you." Nothing but the death blow to my "Surely," I replied. "May I ask notion that he had gimmicked the why, though?" golem. If Hasan had tried to kill "I have decided that I want to me then, why should he have saved see Greece once more. Since you me from the boadile? are going to be there it might make -Unless what he said back at it seem a little more like the old the Port was the overriding truth days. I'd like to take a last look at -the fact that he had been hired some of the Old Places." to protect the Vegan. If that was "You make it sound rather fi- his main job and killing me was n al . " only secondary, then he would "Well . . . I've pushed the have had to save me as a by-prod­ S-S series about as far as it will uct of keeping Myshtigo alive. go. I fancy I can feel the main­ -Unless I was just a suspi­ spring running down now. Maybe cious old man and Rolem had it will take a few more windings been damaged some other way. and maybe it won't. At any rate, I But those golems are built to want to see Greece again and I last. They're designed to take feel as if this is my last chance." shocks. '1'm sure you're wrong, but Butthen .•. we'll all be dining at the Garden Oh hell. Forget it. Altar tomorrow evening, around I threw a stone as far as I could, eight." and another. Our Skimmers would "Fine. 111 see you then." be flown up to our campsite the "Check." following day and we would take "Good-bye, Conrad." off for Athens, stopping only to "Good-bye." drop Rameses and the three others at New Cairo. I was glad I was Late that evening, I armed my­ leaving Egypt, with its must and self and went looking for some dust and its dead, half-animal dei­ fresh air. ties. I was already sick of the I heard voices as I neared the place. eastern end of the warning perim­ Then Phil's call came through eter, so I sat down in darkness, 50 PANTASY AND SCIBNCII! PICTION resting my back against a largish not like this place. There are no rock, and tried to eavesdrop. I'd deserts. The entire world is land­ recognized the vibrant diminu­ scaped. But . . . Let me take endoes of Myshtigo's voice, and I that Bower from your hair. There. wanted to hear what he was say­ Look at it. What do you see?" ing. "A pretty white flower. That's I couldn't though. why I picked it and put it in my They were a little too far away, hair." and desert acoustics are not al­ "But it is not a pretty white ways the finest in the world. I sat Bower. Not to me, anyhow. Your there straining with that part of eyes perceive light with wave­ me which listens, and it happened lengths between about 4000 and as it sometimes does: 7200 angstrom units. The eyes of I was seated on a blanket be­ a Vegan look deeper into the ul­ side Ellen and my arm was around traviolet, for one thing, down to her shoulders. My blue arm ..• around 3000. We are blind to The whole thing faded as I re­ what you refer to as 'red', but on coiled from the notion of being a this 'white' flower I see two colors Vegan, even in a pseudotelepathic for which there are no words in wish-fulfillment, and I was back your language. My body is covered beside my rock once again. with patterns you cannot see, but I was lonesome though, and they are close enough to those of Ellen had seemed softer than the the others in my family so that rock, and I was still curious. another Vegan, familiar with the So I found mvself back there Shtigo-gens, could tell my family once more, observi~g . . . and province on our first meeting. ". . . Can't see it from here," Some of our paintings look garish he/I/we(?) was/were saying "but to Earth eyes, or even seem to be Vega is a star of the first magni­ all of one color-blue, usually­ tude, located in what your people because the subtleties are invisible call the constellation Lyra." to them. Much of our music would 'What's it like on Taler?" asked seem to you to contain big gaps of Ellen. silence, gaps which are actually There was a long pause. Then: filled with melody. Our cities are "Meaningful things are often the clean and logically disposed. They things people are least able to de­ catch the light of day and hold it scribe. Sometimes though, it is a long into the night. They are problem in communicating some­ places of slow movement, pleasant thing for which there is no corres­ sounds. This means much to me, ponding element in the person to but I do not know how to describe wh.om you are speaking. Taler is it to a-human." • • • AND CALL ME CONltAD 51 "But people-Earth people, I "It is an interesting place." mean-live on your worlds ...• "Glad you like it." "But they do not really see them "It is an interest, not a preoc­ or hear them or feel them the way cupation of mine." we do. There is a gulf we can ap­ "I realize that." preciate and understand, but we "Was the man called Conrad cannot really cross it. That is why really your lover?" I cannot tell you what Taler is I recoiled at the suddenness of like. It would be a different world the question. to you than the world it is to me." "It's none of your blue busi­ ''I'd like to see it, though. Very ness," she said, "but the answer much. I think I'd even like to live is 'yes'." there." "I can see why," he said, and I "I do not believe you would be felt uncomfortable and maybe happy there." something like a voyeur, or-sub­ "Why not?" tlety of subtleties-one who "Because non-Vegan immi­ watches a voyeur watching. grants are non-Vegan immigrants. 'Why?" she asked. You are not of a low caste here. I "Because you want the strange, know you do not use that term, but the powerful, the exotic, because that is what it amounts to. Your you are never happy being where Office personnel and their fami­ you are, what you are." lies are the highest caste on this "That's not true ... Maybe it planet. Wealthy non-Office per­ is. Yes, he once said something sons come next, then those who like that to me. Perhaps it is true." work for the wealthy non-Office I felt very sorry for her at that persons, followed by those who moment. Then without realizing make their own living from the it, as I wanted to console her in land; then, at the bottom, are some way, I reached out and took those unfortunates who inhabit her hand. Only it was Myshtigo's the Old Places. You are at the top hand that moved, and he had not here. On Taler you would be at willed it to move. I had. the bottom." I was afraid suddenly. So was "Why must it be that way?'' slw: he, though. I could feel it. asked. There was a great drunk-like, "Because you see a white flow­ room-swimming feeling, as I felt er." He handed it back. that he felt occupied, as if he had There was a long silence and a sensed another presence within cool breeze. his mind. "Anyhow, I'm happy you came I wanted away quickly then, here," she said. and I was back there beside my 52 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION rock, but not before she'd dropped see you. I don't like to have people the flower and I heard her say, standing behind me." "Hold mel" "All right-there. So?" Damn those pseudotelepathic "So what?" wish-fulfillments! Some day I'll "So try 'Karaghiosis'.'' stop believing that that's all they "Why should I?" are. "Because it means something. I had seen two colors in that At least, it did once." flower, colors for which I have no "Karaghiosis was a figure in the words . . . old Greek shadow shows, sort of I walked back toward the camp. like Punch in the European Punch I passed through the camp and and Judy plays. He was a slob, he kept on going. I reached the other was a buffoon." end of the warning perimeter, sat "He was Greek, he was subtle." down on the ground, lit a cigarette. "Ha! He was half-coward, and The night was cool and dark. he was greasy." Two cigarettes later I heard a "He was also half-hero.-Cun- voice behind me, but I did not ing. Somewhat gross. Sense of hu­ turn. mor. He'd tear down a pyramid. " 'In the Great House and in the Also, he was strong, when he House of Fire, on that Great Day wanted to be." when all the days and years are "Where is he now?" numbered, oh let my name be ''I'd like to know." given back to me,' "it said. "Why ask me?" "Good for you,'' I said softly, "Because that is the name Hasan "appropriate quote. I recognize the called you on the night you fought Book of the Dead when I hear it the golem." taken in vain." "Oh ... I see. Well, it was just "I wasn't taking it in vain, just an expletive, a generic term, a syn- -as you said-appropriately." onym for fool, a nickname-like "Good for you." if I were to call you 'Red'.-And "On that great day when all the · now that I think of it, I wonder days and years are numbered, if how you look to Myshtigo, any­ they do give you back your name, how? Vegans are blind to the color then what name will it be?" of your hair, you know?" "They won't. I plan on being "I don't really care how I look late. And what's in a name, any- to Vegans. Wonder how you look, how?" though. I understand that Myshti­ "Depends on the name. So try go's file on you is quite thick. Says 'Karaghiosis' ." something about you being several "Try sitting down where I can centuries old." , , • AND CALL MB CONL\0 53 "Doubtless an exaggeration. Bat bang, but a checkbook. The Vegan you seem to know a lot about must die. There is no alternative. it. How thick is your file on M ys­ Help us stop him." htigo?" "What do you want of me?" "Not very, not yet." "Let Hasan destroy him." "It seems that you hate him more "No." than you hate everyone else. Is that "Why not? What is he to you?" true?" "Nothing, re.ally. In fact, I dis- "Yes." like him very much. But what is he "Why?" to you?" "He's a Vegan." "Our destroyer." "No, there's more." "Then tell me why, and how, "You said it, not me." and perhaps I'll give you a better "Okay, I said it. True though, answer." isn't it?" "I can't." "True.-You're quite strong, "Why not?" you know?" "Because I don't know." "I know." "Then good night. That's all." "In fact, you're the strongest hu­ "Wait! I really do not know- man being I've ever seen. Strong but the word has come down from enough to break the neck of a Taler, from the Radpol liason spiderbat, then fall into the bay at there: He must die. His book is not Piraeus and swim ashore and have a book, his self is not a self, but breakfast." many. I do not know what this "Odd example you've chosen." means, but our agents have never "Not so, not really. Did you?" lied before. You've lived on Taler, "Sorry." you've lived on Bakab and a dozen "Sorry is not good enough. Talk other worlds. You are Karaghiosis. more." You know that our agents do not "Said all." lie, because you are Karaghiosis "No. We need Karaghiosis.• and you established the spy-circuit "Who's 'we'?" yourself. Now you hear their words "The Radpol. Me." and you do not heed them. I tell you "Why, again?" that they say he must die. He repre­ "Hasan is half as old as Time. sents the end of everything we've Karaghiosis is older. Hasan knew fought for. They say he is a sur­ him, remembered, called you 'Kar­ veyor who must not be permitted to aghiosis'. You are Karaghiosis, the survey. You know the code. Money killer, the defender of Earth-and against Earth. More Vegan exploi­ we need you now. Very badly. tation. They could not specify be­ Armageddon has come, not with a yond that point." 54 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION "I will not countenance his de­ ''I'm afraid so." struction without a just and spe­ "That is very unfortunate, my cific cause. Thus far, vou have dear, because I will not permit it." shown me nothing." "You will not stop him. Neither "That's all I have." will we call him off. Even though "Then good night." you are Karaghiosis, and hurt, and "Wait. Please." my sorrow for you overflows the "Hasan tried to kill me." horizons, Hasan will not be "Yes," she said, "He must have stopped by you or by me. He is thought it easier to kill you than Hasan the Assassin. He has never to try keeping you out of the way. failed." After all, he knows more about you "Neither have I." than we do." "Yes, you have. You have just "Then why did he save me from failed the Radpol and the Earth, the boadile today, along with My­ and everything that means any­ shtigo?" thing." ''I'd rather not say." "I keep my own counsel, girl. "Then forget it." Go your ways." "No, I will tell you.-The as­ "I am old enough to be anyone's sag~~i was the only thing handy. He grandmother but yours, so do not is not yet proficient with it. He was call me 'girl'. Do you know that my not aiming to hit the boadile." hair is a wig?" "Oh." "Ye.s." "But he was not aiming at you "Do you know that I once con­ either. The beast was writhing too tracted a Vegan disease-and that much. He wanted to kill the Vegan, that is why I must wear a wig?" and he would simply have said that "No, I am very sorry." he had tried to save you both, by "When I was young, long ago, I the only means at hand-and that worked at a Vegan resort. I was a there had been a terrible accident. pleasure girl. I have never forgot­ Unfortunately, there was no terri­ ten the puffing of their horrid ble accident. He missed his target." lungs against my body, nor the "Why did he not just let the touch of their corpse-colored flesh. boadile kill him?" I hate them, Karaghiosis, in ways "Because you had already got­ that only one such as you could ten your hands upon the beast. He understand-one who has hated feared you might still save him. He all the great hates." fears your hands." "I am sorry, Diane. I am so sorry "That's nice to know. Will he that it hurts you still. But I am continue trying, even if I refuse to not yet ready to move. Do not push cooperate?" me. " , •• AND CALL ME CONltAD 55 ''You are Karaghiosis?" After a minute he said, "You "Yes." know that on my world there are "Then I am satisfied-some- several systems of mental disci­ what." pline, systems which occasionally "But the Vegan will live." produce extrasensory abilities . • ." "\Ve shall see." "So I've heard," I said. "Yes, we shall. Good night." "Most Vegans, at sometime or "Good night, Conrad." other, are exposed to it. Some have And I rose, and I left her there, an aptitude along these lines. and I returned to my tent. Later Many do not. Just about all of us that night she came to me. There though, possess a feeling for it, a was a rustling of the tent flap and recognition of its operations . • ." the bedclothes, and she was there. "Yes?" And when I have forgotten every­ ·"I am not telepathic myself, but thing else about her-the redness I am aware that you possess this of her wig and the little upside­ ability because you used it on me down "v" between her eyes, and the last night. I could feel it. It is quite tightness of her jaws, and her uncommon among your people, so clipped talk, and aU her little I had not anticipated this and I mannerisms of gesture, and her had taken no precautions to pre­ body warm as the heart of a star, vent it. Also, you hit me at about and her strange indictment of the the perfect moment. As a result, man I once might have been, I will my mind was opened to you. I remember this-that she came to have to know how much· you me when I needed her, that she learned." was warm, soft, and that she came So there apparently was some­ tome ... thing extrasensory connected with those sight-vision overlays. All After breakfast the following they usually contained were what morning I was going to seek Mys­ seemed the immediate perceptions htigo, but he found me first. I was of the subject, plus a peek at the down by the river, talking with the thoughts and feelings that went men who would be taking charge into the words he made-and of the felucca. sometimes I got them wrong. Mys­ "Conrad," he said softly, "may I htigo's question indicated that he speak with you?" did not know how far mine went, I nodded and gestured toward a and I had heard that some profes­ gully. sional Veggy psyche-stirrers could "Let's walk up this way. I've fin­ even elbow their way into the un­ ished here." conscious. So I decided to bluff. We walked. "I gather that you are not writ- 56 fANTASY AND SCIENCE fiCTION ing a simple travel book," I said. "Okay then, blue boy, you're go­ He said nothing. ing to have to trust me. You can "Unfortunately, I am not the start by telling me more about this only one who is aware of this," I survey-" continued, "which places you in a "No! I do not know how much bit of danger." you know and how much you do "Why?" he asked suddenly. not know. It is obvious that you are "Perhaps they misunderstand," trying to elicit more information, I ventured. so I do not think you know very He shook his head. much. What I am doing is still "Who are they?" confidential." "Sorry." "I am trying to protect you," I "But I need to know." said, "therefore, I want as much "Sorry again. If you want out, I information as I can get." can get you back to the Port today." "Then protect my body and let "No, I can't do that. I must go me worry about my motives and my on. What am I to do?" thoughts. My mind will be closed "Tell me a little more about it, to you in the future, so you needn't and I'll make suggestions." waste your time trying to probe it." "No, you know too much al­ I handed him an automatic. ready ... "I suggest you carry a weapon "Then that must be the real rea­ for the duration of the tour-to son Donald Dos Santos is here,'' he protect your motives." said quickly. "He is a moderate. "Very well." The activist wing of the Radpol And, "Go get ready," said I, must have learned something of "we11 be leaving soon." this and, as you say-misunder­ stood. He must know of the danger. As I walked back toward the Perhaps I should go to him. . ." camp, via another route, I ana­ "No,'' I said quickly, "I don't lyzed my own motives. A book, think you should. It really alone, could not make or break wouldn't change anything. What the Earth, the Radpol, Returnism. would you tell him, anyhow?" Even Phil's Call of Earth had not A pause. Then, "I see what you done that, not really. But this mean. The thought has also oc­ thing of Myshtigo's was to be more curred to me that he might not be than just a book. A survey?-What as moderate as I have believed could it be? A push in what direc­ . . . If that is the case, then-" tion? I did not know and I had to "Yeah," I said. "Want to go know. For Myshtigo could not be back?" pennitted to live if it would de­ '1can't." stroy us-and yet, I could not per- • • • AND CALL Nil CONL\D 57 mit his destruction if the thing "Then he must be told to hold might be of any help at all. And it off until we know for sure." might. "Very well." Therefore, someone had to call "You will tell him?" time out until we could be sure. "He will be told." The leash had been tugged. I "Good enough." followed. I turned away. ". . . And when the message "Diane," said I, as we stood in comes back," she said, "If it should the shade of her Skimmer, "you say say the same thing as before­ that I mean something to you, as whatthen?" me, as Karaghiosis." "We'll see," I said, not turning. "That would seem to follow." I left her there beside her Skim­ "Then hear me. I believe that mer and returned to my own. you may be wrong about the Ve­ When the message did come gan. I am not sure, but if you are back, saying what I thought it wrong it would be a very big mis­ would say, I knew that I would take to kill him. For this reason, I have more trouble on my hands. cannot permit it. Hold off on any­ This was because I had already thing you've planned until· we made my decision. reach Athens. Then request a clar­ Far to the south and east of us, ification of that message from the parts of Madagascar still deafened Radpol." the geigs with radioactive pain­ She stared me in both eyes, then cries-a tribute to the skill of one said, "All right." of us. "Then what of Hasan?" Hasan, I felt certain, could still "He waits." face any barrier without blinking "He makes his own choice as to those sun-drenched, death-accus­ time and place, does he not? He tomed, yellow eyes . . . awaits only the opportunity to He might be hard to stop. strike." '"Yes." (to be concluded next month) For Hank llaymond-who had difficulties gaining lhe attentions of woman and puffing off those of men-life was a totaUy unsatis­ factory affair. As a reader of A. Merritt, Hank thought he had his finger on the one way to place things in their proper perspective. But stepping through mirrors into di9erent worlds can be a tricky business •••

MIRROR, MIRROR

by Avram Davidson

HANK RAYMOND HAD BEEN A But almost so. great reader of A. Merritt, and It was Hank's fortune or mis­ long after that pneumatic prose fortune that while women ap­ and antedeluvian rhetoric had pealed to him, he did not much ceased to charm him, the effect appeal to women. The question, still lingered. It would not be al­ "Has anyone ever told you that together correct to say that Hank you are a very good-looking young haunted old curiosity shops in man?" lost all of its savor when it hopes of finding one or more mir­ was asked only by another very rors made of a singular and pol­ good-looking young man-or, as ished green stone like and yet un­ often or even more often, by a not like jade and through which he very good-looking middle-aged could step into a distant different man. In this connection we might world peopled principally by a make mention of Mr. Gavin well-stacked princess or priestess Greenshaw, his immediate supe· with blonde hair and violet eyes, rior in the design department of not to mention ill-favored and ill­ the textile firm by whom he was intentioned busybodies of the employed. How to avoid both this male sex, from whose menacing gentleman's ill will and his fre· conspiracies Hank would save her, quent invitations to Cherry Grove after which they would hold court were problems which much exer• together in an old stone palace on cised Hank Raymond, though not the shores of the Sea of Brazen as much as his search of and for Stones (as it might be called)­ old curiosity shops. not altogether correct. The old curiosity shops whence 58 MIIUtOR, MIIUtOa 59 he half-hopefully sought his mir· One night, after a hard day at ror were usually not so damned the office, followed by a fruitless old, anyway, and mostly most un­ evening casing old curiosity shops, satisfactory in the way of curiosi· and having failed to meet the re· ties, having a tendency to shade quirements of a lady named Doris off on the one hand into gifte (or, perhaps, Gladys) whose rent shoppes presided over by gentl~ was due and whose kindness short, ladies of a certain age who kept Hank Raymond was further un­ their hats on, and on the other into fortunate enough to be seen on his interior decorator suppliers' esta~ way home by his superior, Mr. lishments often bearing the sign Gavin Greenshaw, as the latter TO THE TRADE ONLY-a emerged from a notorious bar and phrase capable of more than one grill. Worse yet, the latter was not meaning, as Hank off and on alone, being accompanied by a found out. There was a third hand, sullenly gregarious weight lifter though often called second, and and photographer's model known these shops were sometimes old as the Butcher Boy. They hailed enough and more than dirty him, and although he feigned not enough, but his desire for dusty to have heard or seen them, and framed oleographs of President hastened his steps, it was with a Benjamin Harrison and Cabinet hopeless feeling and a sinking was small, and even less for sets of heart, for he believed that his ad· unmatched chipped gravy-boats dress was known to Mr. Green· and well-inhabited badly-sprung shaw at least, and he distrusted sofas smelling strongly of many this man's intentions as much as years in unventilated railroad flats. he feared his attentions. Needless to say that he never His dismay was all to well found anything of an A. Merritt justified, for scarcely had he en· nature in his visitations, and so, tered his on~room apartment not infrequently, fatigued and dis-­ when he heard simultaneously pirited, he used to drop into a bar their voices in the foyer and the decorated in white and black and ring of the doorbell. Hank stood pink and buy some woman a drink staring at his face in the dull bu· or two or three and then have an reau mirror, too discouraged even adventure of a sordid type. But not to pull down the window shade. very frequently, either, his salary The neon lights were reflected in being but barely adequate to his the glass as they flashed on and off needs, and his tiny private income in the street-yellow on, yellow just large enough to attract the off, red on, red off, blue on, blue ravenous attentions of the revenue off, yellow on . . • service.' The bell rang again . . • 60 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION And then a most curious thing "Er-" happened. The yellow remained "You are being held captive, on, the red never came on, then the aren't you?You are being pursued?" blue did. Blue and yellow mingled Young Mr. Raymond nodded, in the mirror, which turned an un­ though in a somewhat dumb­ earthly shade of green as it seemed foundered fashion. The woman to whirl before his eyes. smacked her hand upon her thigh. And a woman came through it. "I knew it!" she exclaimed. "Just Awkwardly, feet first, back­ like a Gnorf. Tbrackel story!" ward, wiggling, wriggling, rump "Er-Gnorf Thrackel'?" before wrists: a woman. She "No, no. Gnorf. Tbrackel. The turned and looked at Hank Ray­ letter gnorf. Askel, blubba, ceska, mond over her shoulder, then drordel, enkel, gnorf. Short for­ dropped to the floor. She was not what was his first name? Gnor­ quite the girl of his dreams. For one fluskans, I think. Anyway, I used thing, she had violet hair; for an­ to love to read all of his stories other, she had blonde eyes. and even after I stopped I used to The bell rang again, and again, think, wouldn't it be wonderful quite impatiently; and the note of if I could find a quicksilver paint­ unnatural gaiety in Mr. Green­ ing with a glass back and step shaw's voice commenced to tum a through it into another world?" bit peevish, while the disgruntled "Hey-!" drone of the Butcher Boy grew "One with only one sun and loud and angry. one' moon-and rescue a hand­ She cried, "How close are they? some young priest or prince with Are they quite close?" brown hair and eyes. Ohl"

FUNNY FOTOS \. 25~ / MIRROR, MIRROR 61 'Well, I'm not a-" And over his head seven moons But even while his mouth was circled a sky dimly lit by one set­ about to deny either royal or hier­ ting and one rising sun • • • archial affiliation, the bell rang and the voices called and she The name of his rescuer is seized his wrist with a grip like Sarna Sarnis; she holds the rank iron. "Come!" she said. "There is of a Third Warrior in the Matri­ no time to lose. We must hasten!" archy. She and Hank Raymond She half-hoisted, half-flung him were at first exquisitely happy to the top of the bureau, where, in there, in the old stone palace by the mirror, the neon yellow and the Shore of the Sea of Brazen blue still whirled in a mad green Stones. But, alas, not being exempt flux. Then she hoved him through from the common course of human and clambered after him. events, his youth and his beauty Hank, in one last half-look over have alike long fled with the ad­ his shoulder, saw the door to his vent of six or seven children, in apartment yield its defective whose care he is incesfantly occu­ latch, saw it open upon the offi­ pied while Sarna Sarnis gads off to cious Greenshaw and the brute­ foreign wars. It is rare for him to like Butcher Boy, observed their have so much as a single free hour, shocked and unbelieving faces­ but when he has he hastens at once and then there was nothing be­ to the nearest city, whose old curi­ hind him but the back of a shabby osity shops he haunts in the hopes old mirror, which shattered to of finding another quicksilver dust. painting with a glass back. The realism of science fiction is its intense concern with and criti­ cism of 20th Century man and his social and political institutions. If SF takes sides and offers answers with a bit more vigor and confidence than would please some, be thankful that it usually does so in the framework of an equally vigorous Story-a story with involvement and action and plot-qualities which seem alien to much mainstream fiction. F&SFs primary concern in these pages is the publication of good stories, not discussion of the ideas therein. However, the following article should interest our readers if only as an indication of how far the provocative arm of SF can reach. It is a critique of American science fiction by two Soviet writers. It appeared in Kommunist, the organ of the Central Com­ mittee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. We are grate­ ful to Theodore Guerchon for bringing it to our attention; as we are to Isaac Asimov, Poul Anderson, Ma.ck Reynolds, and Ray Bradbury for their reactions-which immediately follow the article. ·-'· THE FUTURE, ITS PROMOTERS AND FALSE PROPHETS by E. Brandis and V. Dmitrevskiy (translated by Theodore Guerchon)

IN THE WEsT, AND IN THE USA and Science Fiction, and others). in particular, science fiction serves The most striking feature of the as one of the means of ideological social prophecies of the American indoctrination of the broad masses and English fantasy writers is that of the people. Currently several they are not based on any concept specialized magazines (science of the progressive development of fiction) enjoy mass circulation- in society, but involve regression, de­ the United States (Galaxy, Amaz- cline, degeneracy, backwardness ing Stories, Fantastic Universe, and the destruction of mankind. Astounding Science Fiction-re- Modern \Vestem science fiction cently renamed Analog, Fantasy writes of an anti-Utopia, and it is 62 THli FUTURE, ITS PROMOTERS AJI<"D FALSE PROPHETS 63 significant that bourgeois critics by the wolfish laws of plunder and and writers themselves use this profit. term in speaking of social science The results of a technocratic re­ fiction. gime are made plain in the novel In the story "Progress" (1962), "Speakeasy" by Mack Reynolds, Poul Anderson describes life on which was published in the J anu- earth several centuries after an . ary 1963 issue of Fantasy and Sci­ atomic war which, by a fluke, has ence Fiction. The story is set in spared the aborigines of New Zea­ America, in the Twenty-first Cen­ land-the Maoris. They, and pos­ tury. Capitalist society has been sibly the author too, feel that man put on a functional basis . . . can achieve his welfare and happi­ when a group of otherwise inclined ness by making use of sail boats, people attempt to bring about re­ windmills and electric stations in­ forms to rescue the state from stag­ herited from the past. These dark nation, the deputy chief of police prophecies are perfectly consistent • • . esablishes a "strong personal­ with the pessimistic views of many ity" dictatorship. bourgeois scientists and writers Our readers are familiar with who do not believe that the nations modem Western science fiction can forestall universal suicide. Fol­ from the collection of American lowing in the footsteps of the phi­ stories published by the Foreign losophers and sociologists, the Literature Publishing House and bourgeois writers preach relativ­ individual stories which have ap­ ism, the helplessness of the mind peared from time to time in Soviet against the mysterious and un­ periodicals. Judging solely from knowable universe, and the illusory these translations, one might get nature of social progress. They re­ the erroneous impression that bour­ gard history as a never-ending cy­ geois science fiction writing is now cle: what has been will be again. for the most part nonpolitical and The characteristic aspect of quite harmless . . • contemporary science fiction by Ray Bradbury, the talented Anglo-American bourgeois writers American writer, is the most popu­ is the projection into the future of lar (foreign science fiction writer) present state relations, social prob­ in our country. He carries the dark lems, and events and conflicts in­ aspects of the contemporary capital­ herent in modem capitalism. ist world to the point of grotesque These writers transfer imperialist satire. The humanistic trend in contradictions to imaginary space Bradbury's work is plain. But he worlds, supposing that they \Viii be believes that the main evil lies not dominated by the old master-serv­ in the social structure of bourgeois ant relations, by colonialism and society, but in the stormy develop- 64 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION mcnt of science and technology, It is true· tltat after this mon­ which is crushing the individual. strous assertion Asimov says: "I The well-known biochemist do not believe this, however. A Isaac Asimov, who is also one of more reasonable supposition is the most serious of the American that the stories are indeed among science fiction writers, has written those written for Soviet consump­ a preface to a collection of Soviet tion but are carefully selected and science fiction stories published in are, therefore, not representative. NewYorkin 1962. To check on that, one would have He noted the important fact to obtain. Soviet science fiction that Soviet writers take as a basic magazines or the equivalent and premise the fact that "if this (the see what the general run of on­ communist society) goes on, man's selected material is like." goodness and nobility will be free . . . We can assure Mr. Asi­ to develop and people will live un­ mov that the humanism he has der the reign of love. I suppose," found in the several stories "very writes Asimov, "if one were suffi­ carefully selected" is inherent in ciently skeptical, one might sup­ and typical of Soviet science fic­ pose these stories were written tion and Soviet literature as a strictly for American consumption whole. Asimov's ideas only show and are published only in order to that even the honest American in­ confuse us and weaken our will; tellectuals are so blinded by the that the Soviet citizen is not al­ unofficial anticommunist propa­ lowed to see them, but is fed on ganda that they often cannot tell pure hate." black from white.

ISAAC ASIMOV r@pli@s

I THINK MESSRS. BRANDIS AND Dmitrevskiy are being a little harsh with me. They themselves, in referring to American science fiction stories published in the Soviet Union say: "Judging solely from these translations, one might get the erroneous impression that bourgeois science fiction writing is now for the most part nonpolitical and quite hannless . . ." In other words, they say that what the Soviets see of American science fiction is not representative of the whole and is deliber­ ately selected to be "nonpolitical and quite harmless ... They ought, then, to hold me fairly blameless if the same thought had occurred THB FUTURE, ITS PllOMOTERS AND FALSE PllOPHE.TS 65 to me about Soviet science fiction published in the United States. Brandis and Dmitrevskiy had the opportunity, apparently, to read other American science fiction and satisfy themselves that the translated material was really unrepresentative. When I wrote my prefaces to the eleven stories in SOVIET SCIENCE FICTION and MORE SOVIET SCIENCE FICTION, I was less fortunate for I had no access· to Soviet science fiction gener­ ally. But I took that into account and carefully mentioned this lack of representivity only as a "supposition." I wish they had continued to quote the final lines of my in­ troduction; lines that followed immediately after the passage they did quote. Those last lines read: "On the whole, though, what I would like to believe is that the Soviet citizen would really like to see the coming of a reign of love when 'nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.' "Why, after all, should he not? "If only we could believe it is what they really want, and if only they could believe it is what we really want, then perhaps things would yet end well.'' -IsAAc AsiMOV

POVL ANIJEBSON replies

CoMMUNISM EMBODIEs A NOBLE idea: that man and man's lot are improvable and it is the duty of every individual to help in making that improvement. Whether or not the idea is true, or even meaningful, makes little difference here. The fact remains that through a long span of history, some people have acted on it. Unfortunately, Communism-more accurately, Marxism-Len­ inism-makes human improvability a dogma rather than a theory, hypothesis, or pious wish. Then Communism adds the further dogma that there is one and only one correct way to achieve im· provement, and it has already been discovered. From this, the con­ clusion follows logically that men who know that way are duty bound to make their fellow men carry out the indicated measures. Of course, one prefers to persuade them, by reason and example; 66 PANT.U1' AND SCIBNCB PICTION but if this fails, then coerdoa. is not only permissible but im­ perative. · The effect of the dogmas on philosophy and literature is to make optimism compulsory. Or to put the matter differently: while the Communist admits that death and suffering occur, and that even in a Socialist country there can be grave injustices done, he never­ theless lacks all sense of tragedy. Furthermore, because of the dogmatism imposed oa it, his ideal is in iDherent conflict with the (at least equally) noble ideal of freedom. He talks of freedom, yes, but to him the reins of com­ pulsion cannot be dropped until the individual is so thoroughly conditioned as to be unable to defy the Communist schema. It does not occur to him, in the fullest sense, that the individual may be entitled to freedom now, a freedom limited only by the re­ straints necessary to keep society functioning, restraints which are physical but do not invade the ultimate privacy of the mind. I am oversimplifying, I know. Americans are not really that free, have never been and probably never will be. Nor are people behind the Iron Curtain that much enslaved. What I am trying to get across is merely the contrast between the orientations, the final values and goals, of the two societies. Since literature is nec­ essarily an oversimplification of life, the conflict is easier to see there than in the muddled and ever-changing realm of actual poli­ tics. For iDstance, it would be treason to the Communist cause to suggest that man is an ignoble, doomed ape, that what we call "good" is rare and unnatural to him while what we call "evil" is his norm. But in the West, such an idea can be entertained. I don't say it is a true idea-l don't believe it is, myself-but I do say that to advance it fOI' consideration does not hurt a free society any more than the advancement of any other idea does. Litewise, I don't believe a total nuclear war is inevitable, and hope as sincerely as Messrs. Brandis and DmitreYskiy that no such thing ever comes to pass. Still, I feel free to deal in fiction with this as a possibility, and with the possible consequences. "Progress" was actually an optimistic story. It suggested that man can sunive almost aoythiog, e.eu a nuclear war, and rebuild and 6'1 know happiness again. It also suggested that perhaps our preseDt machine culture is not the optimum one for the human animal.' I don't know if this is really so or not; but I don't believe anyone does, either. It seems to me profoundly unscientific to maintain that history has had one certain character and will in the future take one cer­ tain course. True, Marx and Lenin (as weii as Stalin and Mao!) have made some very interesting observations about history. But to insist that these were the most basic observations that will ever be made is to go far beyond the data we possess. Science fiction in the West operates in the area of what man does not yet Imow and has not yet experienced. In the nature of the case, these things are unknowable before they come to pass. Therefore our sdence fiction, unconJined by dogma, treats of many conceivable situations, some pleasant, SOJile unpleasant. It has no more ideological significance than that. In conclusion, I have known and argued with a number of Communists. When the arguments were conducted in a civilized manner, as a mutual search for understanding rather than a con­ test in abuse, we always arrived at some insights. Thus, for ex­ ample, I have seen that one of our root differences is that they have somewhat more faith in human rationality than I do. Some­ day, perhaps, scientific psychology will prove which attitude is more nearly right. Meanwhile, they are entitled to their belief; So am I entitled to mine. Totalitarianism consists in denying any­ one, anyone at all, the right to his private beliefs and his private exploration of reality.-PouL ANDEllSOM

IHACI BEYNOLDS replies

ACTUALLY, I FIND A CERTAIN amount of validity in this brief article on Western science fiction. Perhaps there would have beeu more had the authors been able to dig further into their subject. Certain it is that when sf writers extrapolate in the field of political economy they are more apt to wind up with an and­ Utopia, rather than aR upbeat society of the future. For every 68 PANTASY AND SCIENCB PICTION Bellamy's Looleing BtiC'InwmJ there are several Orwell's 1984. And possibly one of the reasons for this is that a majority of our writers are convinced that our present social institutions are so superior that any change must be of a negative nature. Personally, I don't agree. I am of the opinion that the socio­ economic institutions of the world-including those of the Soviet Union-are in a con

BAY BBAIIBEJBY replies

MY ONE REACTION TO THE comment" of Brandis and Dmitrevskiy is sadness. I have always felt that it is science-fiction's business to teach us, while entertaining us, about our old foolishness, our pres­ ent foolishness, and our future foolishness. We spray each other with words and insist on misunderstanding what could be under­ stood if we got in a room together and saw each other's faces and knew our mutual humanity. Any future destruction will be brought about not by one group of poor fools, but by two groups blincDy moving in the dark and pulling back from the warm touch of 70 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION recognition. I happen to be one who believes we will not destroy each other but that, fools though we be, we will move closer to­ gether. Russia is being perverted by her increased technologies and industrializations, so that she begins to resemble the United States, even as the United States, out of mass demands and needs, moves closer to resembling certain aspects of Russian society. This, like it or not, will go on happening, regardless of what each country pretends to want or be, until one is the mirror image of the other. Those of us who watched, saw it coming many years ago. All of mankind will benefit from it. Russia will be "spoiled" even as America has been spoiled, by her material goods, which will relax her even more, and make the need for war or aggrandizement unnecessary. We will then conjoined, face the problem of making outlaw China an inlaw. Mutually, we will seek to "spoil" China with technological riches. Anything we s-f writers can do to illus­ trate this immense irony, this comedy of power and willfulness, will be of benefit to readers in both countries. We must get to know each other, it is as simple and needful as that. Where tyranny or constriction exists, each country must look to find it and elim­ inate it. I sincerely hope that we can read one another's works as honestly as possible and accept them as valid stories done by people sincerely wishing to present a point of view. Fools we all most certainly are, but Fools we do not have to remain. -RAY BRADBUBY

COlfJING NEXT lfJONTB We had hoped to include in this issue a new story by JOHN CHRISTOPHER (PLANET IN PERIL, NO BLADE OF GRASS, THE LONG WINTER). For various reasons, this was impossible, but Mr. Christopher will make one of his rare magazine appearances in next month's issue, with A FEW KINDRED SPIRITS. The conclusion to ROGER ZELAZNY's ••. AND CALL ME CONRAD will also appear in the November issue. You won't want to miss it. So far the only chip in the veneer of our iUustrious corps of astronauts is Lieutenant Commander John W. Youngs action in sneaking a corned beef sandwich aboard his Gemini spacecraft. This was repOrled by the press along with NASA director James Webb's testimony before a House Appropriations subcommittee that "this was not an adequate performance by an astronaut." Comdr. Young has not yet been drummed out of the corps, but it is unlikely that he wiU be making any future flights. Which stem reaction leads us to wonder what would happen if astronaut or astronauts became involved in underhanded dealings of a more

serious nature. Or would that news eoer reach us . o o ?

NO JOKES ON MARS

by James Blish

THR SKIMMRR SOARRD RASILY porter in a year and a half she had through a noon sky as blue-black rated nothing less than the execu­ as freshly spilled washable ink. tive officer of Port Ares-had al­ On Mars, the gravity was so low ready shown signs of believing that almost anything could be that Karen's weight was distrib­ made to fly, given power to spare; uted quite well, no matter on Earth, the skimmer would have what it was. That was pleasant, been about as airworthy as a flat too. stone. "This is the true desert we're On Earth, Karen had never felt going over now-the real Mars," very airworthy either, but here on he was saying, his voice muffled Mars she weighed only forty-nine by his oxygen mask. "That orange­ pounds and was soaring nicely. red sand is hematite, a kind of She wished she could keep the iron ore. Like most rusts, it's got a Martian weight when she got little water in it, and the Martian home, but she knew well enough lichens r.an get it out. Also it can that the loss was only a loan. blow up a fi.ne sandstorm." The official strapped in on her Karen took no notes; she had right-as the first Earthside re- known that much before she'd left 71 72 . FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Cape Kennedy. Besides, perhaps wanted the taxpayer to think any­ perversely, she was more in- . body found anything funny about terested in Joe Kendricks, the Mars. skimmer's civilian pilot. Col. Kendricks banked the skimmer Margolis was all right: young, sharply and pointed down. "Cat," hard-muscled, highly trained, he said, to nobody in particular. with that modest but dedicated "Oho.': Col. Margolis picked up look cultivated by the Astronaut his binoculars. Karen fol1owed Corps. Like most of the AC com­ suit. The glasses were difficult to plement here, he also looked as look into through the eyepieces of though he had spent most of his her oxygen mask, and even more hitch at Port Ares under glass. difficult to focus with the heavy Kendricks, on the other hand, gloves; but suddenly the big dune­ looked weathered. cat sprang to life in front of her. Joe Kendricks showed not the It was beautiful. The dune-cat, faintest sign of returning her in­ as an encyclopedias note, is the terest. At the moment, his atten­ largest animal on Mars, usually tion was totally on the skimmer measuring about four feet from and on the desert. He too was a nose to base of spine (it has no reporter, representing a broadcast­ tail). The eyes, slitted and with ing-wire service pool, but since he an extra membrane against the had been on Mars since the sec­ flying sand, give it a vaguely cat­ ond landing, he had suffered the like appearance, as does the calico usual fate of the local leg man : he pelt (orange, marbled with blue­ had first become familiar, then in­ green which is actual1y a para­ visible. Perhaps for this reason, or sitic one-cel1ed plant which helps perhaps from simple staleness, or supply its oxygen); but it is not a loneliness; or a combination of cat. Though it has an abdominal these and still other reasons, his pouch like a kangaroo or a 'pos­ copy lately had been showing sum, it is not a marsupial either. signs of cynicism about the whole Some of the encyclopedias-the Mars venture. cheaper and more sensational ones Maybe that had been inevita­ -suggest that it may be descend­ ble. All the same, when he had ed from the long-extinct Canal­ taken to slugging his weekly col­ Masons of Mars, but since the umn "JoKe's on Mars," the home Masons left behind neither pic­ office emitted only one dutiful tures nor bones, this is at best chuckle and sent Karen across only a wild guess. forty-eight million miles of ex­ It loped graceful1y over the pensive space to trouble-shoot. rusty dunes, heading in nearly a Neither the press nor the AC straight line, probably for tile NO JOKES ON MARS 13 nearest oasis. Joe Kendricks fol­ binoculars. Karen was just as glad, lowed it easily. Evidently it had­ for the two that she could see n't yet spotted the skimmer, which clearly were quite bad enough. was nearly noiseless in the Ever­ They were each about a foot est-thin air. long, and looked like a nightmare "A real break, Miss Chandler," combination of centipede and Col. Margolis was saying. 'We scorpion. And where tbe other don't see much action on Mars, crawlers were all headed mind­ but a eat's always good for a show. lessly toward the water-stain, these JoKe, have you got a spare canteen had sensed that their first target you can throw him?" had to be the dune-cat. The leg man nodded and set his The cat fought with silent fury, machine to wheeling in a wide arc with great flat blows of one open over the cat, while Karen tried to paw; in the other, something me­ puzzle out what Col Margolis tallic flashed in the weak harsh could be talking about. Action? sunlight. It paid no heed to the The only encyclopedia entry she creatures' claws, though it sus­ recalled at all well said that the tained several bloody nips from dune-cat was "quick and strong, them in the first few seconds; it but aloof and harmless to man." was their stings it was wary of. Nobody, the entry added, knew Karen was instantly certain that what it ate. they were venomous. Joe Kendricks produced a flat She was beginning to think the can of water, loosened the pull­ men in the skimmer were, too. tab slightly, and to Karen's aston­ The struggle seemed to last for­ ishment-for water was worth ever, but it was actually only a more than fine gold on Mars­ moment before the cat had neatly threw it over the side of the skim­ amputated one sting, and had mer. It fell with dream-like slow­ smashed the other horror halfway ness in the weak gravity, but the into the sand. From there it was weakened pull-tab burst open upon the burst canteen with a when it struck, just ahead of the single bound, and tossing back cat. whatever trickle of liquid gold it Instantly, the sands all around might still hold. the cat were aswarm with crea­ Then, without a single upward tures. They came running and glance, it was running like a dust­ wriggling toward the rapidly evap­ devil for the near horizon. Noth­ orating stain of water from as far ing was left to see below but the as fifteen feet away. smaller critters, some of which Most of them were too small to were now becoming aware of the make out clearly, even through the two losers of the battle. 74 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION Karen discovered that she was the rise and saw the man, but af­ breathing again-and that she ter a glance aloft at the skimmer, had forgotten to take pictures. it did not try to run away. The Col. Margolis pounded Joe· Ken­ colonel had his gun out now, but dricks excitedly on one shoulder. he was not pointing it anywhere. "After him!" the AC officel' "I should very much like to crowed. "Let's not drop the ball know," Karen said in her quietest now, JoKe. Give her the gunf" and most dangerous voice, "just Even beneath the oxygen mask exactly what is going on here." there was something cold and "A little quiet poaching," Ken­ withdrawn about the set of Ken­ dricks said, his eyes on the ground. dricks' ·expression, but the skim­ "The cat carries a thing in his mer nevertheless leapt obediently pouch. Our hero down there is after the vanished dune-cat. The going to rob him of it." cat was fast, but the chase was no "But-what is it? Is it valu­ contest. able?" "Set me down about a mile "Valuable to the cat, but valu­ ahead of him," the colonel said. able enough to the colonel. Ever He loosened his pistol in its hol­ seen a Martian pomander?" ster.- Karen had indeed seen several; "Colonel," Karen said. "Are you they had been the ultimate In -are you going to kill the cat? gifts from swains for several years. Even after the fight it put up?" It was a fuzzy sphere about the "No indeed," Col. Margolis said size of a grape, which, when sus­ heartily. "Just collect our little fee pended and warmed between the for the water we gave it. Over be­ breasts, surrounded the wearer hind that dune looks about right, with a sweet and literal1y un­ JoKe.'• earthly musk. Karen had tried one "It isn't legal," Kendricks said only once, for the perfume, though unexpectedly. "You know that.'' light, also had a faint narcotic "The law's an anachronism," quality which encouraged a lady the colonel said in an even voice. to say "Maybe" when what she had "Hasn't been enforced for years.'' meant was "No.'' "You should know," Kendricks "The pomander-it's part of the said. "You enforce 'em. All right, cat? Or a charm or treasure or hop out. I'll cover you." something like that?" The AC officer jumped from "Well, that's hard to say. The the hovering skimmer to the rusty experts call it his hibernation or­ sand, and Kendricks took the ma­ gan-he won't get through next chine aloft again, circling him. winter without it. It isn't attached The cat stopped when it topped to him in any way, but the cats NO JOKES ON MARS always act as though they can't wrote all over every brick they come by another one-or grow laid. The cat could have picked another, whichever it is." that one up right where he's stand­ Karen clenched her fists. "Joe­ ing. Nobody's ever been able to put me down." read a line of the stuff, anyhow. He darted a quick sidewise No connection to Earthly lan­ glance at her. '1 wouldn't advise guages." it. There's nothing you can do­ The cat saw them now; it and I know. I've tried." turned slightly and held out its "Joe Kendricks, I don't know fragment of stone toward Joe Ken­ what else you'd call what's going dricks. Col. Margolis looked at on down there, but there's one them over his shoulder with a thing you know it is, as well as I start of annoyance. do. It's a story-and I want it." ''No good, cat," he said harshly, "You'll never get it off the plan­ "It's me you're dickering with. et," he said. "But-all right, all, And I don't want your rock. Emp­ right. Down we go." ty the pouch." He could not possibly have ex­ As they trudged closer, the eat, pected t!te dune-cat to understand erect, seemed to be holding out his words--but the situation, and something toward the colonel, a brusque eviscerating gesture of who had his back to them. Be­ both his hands, obviously had al­ cause it was closer to the crest of ready conveyed more than enough. the dune than the man, the cat Another slight movement, and did not seem to be any shorter. slanted eyes like twin sapphires After a moment, Col. Margolis blazed into Karen's own out of the threw back his head and laughed. tigerish mask. In a gnarled voice At this distance the air failed to that carried human speech only carry the sound. with pain, the dune-cat said: ''Not the pomander," Joe Ken­ "Missessss Earsssman, buy?" dricks muttered without waiting It held out the worthless bit of for Karen's question. "It's trying brick it offered for its life. Its to buy its life with a shard. They stare was proud, and its outthrust always do." paw absolutely steady. "What's-?" "I'll be glad to buy," Karen said, 'A stone with Canai-M&SOD in­ and reached out. "And, Col. Mar­ iCI'iptians on it." golis-the Lord and the Astronaut "But Joe! Surely that's valu­ Corps help you if you break my able?" bargain." ''Not worth a dime; the planet's Gloved hand touched orange littered with them. The Masons paw. The Martian looked at her a 76 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION moment longer, and then was But the colonel only smiled gone. gently. "I don't mind being a vil­ lain, if the colony needs one," he Col. Margolis remained silent said. "You can hang me by my during the whole of the trip ~ck thumbs if you like. I'd be interest­ to Port Ares, but once there, he ed to see how many people back lost no time in having them both home take your word against mine, on the carpet-in, of course, his though." own office. He was obviously also "I've never pilloried anybody in in a pet; in part, Karen was al­ my life, and my editors know it," most sure, for having made up to Karen said. "But that's a long way her in the first place. Well, that's from the point. It isn't just one the way the world wags, Colonel; story. It's the pomander trade as actions have consequences . . . a whole that's the scandal." even on Mars. The colonel abruptly turned his "It won't be possible for me to back and looked out of the win­ behave as if this hadn't hap­ dow at the domed colony-a spec­ pened," he said, in a voice intend­ tacle of struggle against a terrible ed to convey good will. "The cats world, a vast planetary desert are smart enough to spread the about which Karen knew she knew word, and it'll take months to very little. He said: "All right, I pound home to them that your be­ tried. Now it's your turn, JoKe. havior doesn't mean anything. But Set her straight." if I can have your promise ·not to "Don't call me that," Kendricks say anything further about it, at growled. Then: "But Miss Chand­ least I won't be forced to have you ler, the Corps isn't going to let you shipped home by the next rocket." stop the pomander trade-don't "Five months from now," Joe you know that? It's supposed to be Kendricks added helpfully. immune even from petty graft. "It had better mean something, And this is far from petty. If the and it'd better be just the begin­ law's been broken-and God ning," Karen said. "Do you think knows it has-haH the men in women· would go on using these Port Ares have a slice of the profits. pomanders if they knew what they It can't be stopped now." were-and what they cost? "All the worse," Karen said. This story's going to be told." "But we can stop it. Joe, you can There was a brief silence. Then help me. They can't ship both of Kendricks said : "One story does­ us home." n't make a scandal;" "Don't you think I've tried to "Not even with the base com­ get this story off Mars before?" mander in the middle of it?" Kendricks said angrily. "The NO JOKES ON MAllS 7J Corps 'reviews' every line that right great? This is one of human­ leaves the planet. After this inci­ ity's greatest outposts. Why soil it dent, the colonel here will read my for the sake of a sensation? Why copy himself-" not just live and let live?" "You bet," Col. Margolis said, "Because that's just what you're with a certain relish. not doing," Karen said. "You told me "-and I've got to live with this that you weren't going to kill the cat crew, the year around." After a this afternoon, but you didn't tell moment, Kendricks added, "Six me it would die later, in the winter, hundred and sixty-eight days a when you were through stealing year." from it. It's the Spaniards and the "That's just why they can't kill Incas all over again! Are we the story in the long run," Karen spending billions to reach the said eagerly. "If they're censoring planets, just to export the same old you, you can slip the word to me crimes against the natives?" somehow, sooner or later. I know "Now, calm down a minute, how to read between the lines-­ please, Miss Chandler. The cats and you know how to write be­ are only animals. You're exagger­ tween them. The censor doesn't ating a good deal, you know." exist who's awake every second!" "I don't think she is," Joe Ken­ "They can kill me," Joe Ken­ dricks said in a low voice. "The dricks said stolidly. "Both of us, if dune-cats are intelligent. Killing they have to. The next ship home is them off is criminal-l've always five months away, and people get thought so, and so does the law. killed on Mars all the time." Karen, I'll try to get the dope out Karen let By an unladylike to you, but the Corps has the man­ snort. "JoKe, you're scared. Do you power here to stop me if it really think a Corps commandant would tries. I may have to bring the rest kill the only two reporters on Mars? of the story back to Earth with How would that look in his record, me, instead-a matter of years. no matter how careful he was?" Can you wait that long?" Col. Margolis turned back to They looked at each other for a glare at them. But when he spoke, long moment. His expression was his voice was remarkably neutral. much changed. "Look, let's be reasonable," he Karen said : ''You bet I'D wait." said. 'Why so much fuss over one He drew a deep breath. "You're small irregularity, when there's sure you mean that." • so much being accomplished on "Dead sure, Joe," Karen said. Mars that's positive, that's down- -rhe jokes are over." ~ It was an enormous park of a world, a place of green forest and sprawling meadows and sparkling blue lakes. The fiery rocket thrust of the Terran ship was perhaps the first scar inflicted upon Vega IV. It was a planet seemingly unfamiliar with death ... as we know it.

THE GLORIOUS FOURTH

by Jack Sharkey

THEY ORBITED FIVE TIMES BE­ site painfully difficult. No matter fore landing, crisscrossing the where they chose to set the ship, blue-green orb in non-repetitive the searing fires would mar that circles, high above the faint sil­ pristine surface with an ugly blot ver haze where the atmosphere be­ of crisp, smoking char. gan. It was a beautiful planet, far In deference to the undisturbed exceeding the expectations of any beauty of the planet, Captain Alan of the three-man crew. The taped Bochner turned on the CO.-noz­ reports from the exploratory rock­ zles a full minute before touch­ ets-automatic in function, steel­ down. Designed to smother any hearted, hungry only for cold fires ignited by the ferocious rock· physichemical fact-had not done et-thrust, the nozzles were gener· the newfound world justice. ally not used until the ship was An oceanless planet, with an resting solidly upon its tailfins; eccentric rotation that let every then only did the thirty-foot portion of its surface slide through plumes of frigid white flakes the should-have-been equatorial spurt outward in a rimey ring belt once in every two light-to­ about the ship. Bochner knew his dark cycles, its surface was uni­ gesture was meaningless, for all formly warm and suitable for liv­ practical purposes. A dose of the ing. At an unvarying 75-82 de­ incredibly cold carbon-dioxide grees Fahrenheit, it was an enor­ snow would do the grasses and mous park of a world, a place of foliage no more good than expo­ green forest and sprawling mead­ sure to the tailfires themselves. ows and sparkling blue lakes. It But the frost would at least allow made the selection of a landing- the dead plants to remain green. 78 THE GLORIOUS FOURTH 79 Settling ponderously through a had brought back to Earth. A boiling cloud of steam as the very planet of such enviable climate ground beneath the ship was des­ was a godsend to a rapidly over­ iccated of its last drop of moisture populating Terran Empire, al­ in that hellish heat, the towering ready uncomfortably packed in the vessel came to rest. As Bochner confines of its home planet, neigh­ flipped the cutoff switch, the si­ boring Mars, and the largest of lence was shattering. Outside the Jupiter's moons. But there were smoke-tarnished hull, trickles and tests to be made, things to discover threads of vapor wound slowly which the best of the sensitive in­ upward, and were dissipated in struments aboard the automatic minutes by a gentle updraft of the rockets could not ascertain. To overheated air surrounding the make absolutely certain the planet ship. Bochner ran his practiced was habitable by Man, Man had fingers over the control-panel, to land there and see for himself. stopping the gyros, the radar-alti­ "It should be cool enough to go meter, the air- and water-recla­ out, now," said Bochner, at the mation machinery. For a time, door of the airlock. "I gave it a now, there would be moist, clean little extra CO. as we came down." planetary air to breathe, water to McKenna, consulting a gauge drink; the three men aboard the beside the massive portal, said, ship anticipated with relish their "Air-pressure's only fractionally respite from the stale, tasteless, an­ higher than Earth-normal. We tiseptic products of the ship. Boch­ won't need the lock." ner re-checked the panel once Harker, the junior member of more, then unstrapped himself the crew-while a Lieutenant from the padded contour-cradle. like McKenna, he lacked the oth­ From similar resting-places, his er man's seniority-nodded, and lieutenants, Ed Harker and Bill twirled the unsealing wheel. The McKenna, were rising, stretching three men stepped inside the lock­ their thrust-sore muscles and grate­ chamber, and Harker opened the fully removing their cumbersome outer door. For a moment, the three spacesuits. Boots, shorts and blous­ just stood where they were and es would be the lightweight uni­ breathed. Air, air like the first form of their sojourn upon Vega breeze of the first warm spring day, IV. Discovered on Independence flooded their nostrils and lungs. Day, three years earlier, it had Bochner chuckled ruefully. •"we been nicknamed "The Glorious haven't even set foot on the ground, Fourth" by the men examining the and already I know I'm going to three-dimensional color photos hate to leave when our two months which the exploratory robot-rockets areup.H 80. FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION They descended the metal lad­ said laconically, staring around der to the ground. Beneath the them at the distant dappled rim of ship, the grass had simply van­ the forest which ringed their broad ished. Cracked black soil showed green landing-site. "Use it." but the first scar Man would vent Harker sighed and secured the upon Vega IV if the tests of this final buckle. three-man crew gave a waiting em­ "You know-" said McKenna, pire the colonial go-ahead. A door peering across the meadow in a low upon the vertical hull, which hopeful squint, then assisting his Harker now unbolted, gave them vision with binoculars, "-1 think access to their equipment. Storing that's an orchard over there, sir!" it there was simpler than having to "No kidding?!" remarked Boch­ lug it down the ladder from the ner, using his own binoculars to gaping port thirty yards over­ view the far-off copse. "Damned if ground. From the cubicle thus ex­ I don't think you're right, Bill. But posed, they removed-with brisk what kind of fruit is that?" teamwork, not a motion wasted­ "Where?" asked Ed Harker, the portable shelters, medical sup­ sweeping the horizon with his own plies, canisters of seeds, bulbs and glasses, then suddenly focusing on cuttings (to sow familiar Earth­ the heavy-laden boughs. "Hey, crops which the primal wave of yeah! Why don't we take a walk colonists could then reap), vari­ over there and see?" ous devices for testing plant and "There's work to be done, first," animal life, and weapons. These said Bochner. "Let's get the shel­ last were hand-guns in which Ter­ ters up before dark. The tapes in­ ran technology had modified the dicated an almost nightly rainfall. common laser-beam into a deadly, Once we're sure the equipment is piercing sword of raw power. With going to stay dry, we can take a one such weapon, a lone man hike across this meadow to look. could puncture, slash and even de­ Not before. And," he turned his capitate an oncoming horde of en­ serene blue eyes upon Harker, emy troops in seconds. "when we do get there, no one eats "I hate these damned things," anything that hasn't been tested said Harker, strapping the holster first." His gaze appended, "and to his belt. "I'm always afraid I'm that means you, Mister/" going to trip and accidentally de­ Bridling beneath the other man's press the firing-stud. I don't much implication of foolhardy insubor­ enjoy the prospect of ramming a dination, Harker managed a taut quarter-inch hole through my foot smile, and just said, "Naturally, -or drilling an instant oil-well." sir," then turned and proceeded to "There's a safety-lock," Bochner his work. TID GLORIOUS FOtnt'IR 81 The roaring cacophony of the • An excellent specimen," said landing had frightened off the re­ the Captain, bending and hefting gional fauna, of course, but within the limp body by its hind legs. "I'll an hour of touchdown, they saw see what the analyzer makes of it." their first birds, brightly colored, Without another word, he proceed­ long-winged birds that glided and ed with the smaU, silent body to circled in the manner of gulls the silvery device that stood just above the meadow. Then, at twi­ within the flap of the nearer shel­ light, as they were settling down ter, and popped it into the open­ to a supper of food-concentrates, ing at its forefront. The analyzer there was a rustling in the long would disintegrate the animal, lay­ grass, and a smaU furry creature­ er by layer, checking out its meta­ somewhere between a bear-cub and bolic processes, listing its protein a lynx in appearance-came snuf­ structures, chemical components, fling along toward them, showing probable lifespan and ecological no fear, nor menace, only timid relationship to its environment. He curiosity. It had golden fur and closed the door of the device, large yellow-brown eyes. It drew sealed it, and turned it on. near Harker's chair and-the first Back at the table, Harker had moment any of the men had no­ neither moved nor spoken. He just ticed its presence-sat up on its stared at the sweat-stained back of haunches and gave a friendly yip. Captain Alan Bochner's blouse, Harker almost jumped out of his the bit of food-concentrate still boots. Then seeing the smaU crea­ held between his fingers. McKen­ ture which had so startled him, he na reached over and wordlessly laughed, and tossed a chunk of his took hold of Harker's forearm, giv­ food-concentrate to it. "Hi there, ing it a sympathetic squeeze which feHa," he said. The creature snort­ was also a warning. Harker turned ed, champed at the small mouthful blank eyes to his fellow-lieutenant, of nourishment with its head back, his mouth partiaUy open, then he then swaHowed it and immediate­ blinked and shook his head, bring­ ly began to nuzzle Harker's thigh, ing the world back into focus. He obviously interested in more. suddenly spun his head about to Harker laughed again, and look at the oblivious Bochner once turned to his plate to break off an­ more, and his throat-muscles other piece. He heard the short worked. crackling hum with disbelieving ". . • Don't • • • f" Bill Mc­ ears, and spun back. The creature kenna said in a fierce whisper. lay sprawled upon the grass. When Harker stared at him. "But-" Harker looked up, Bochner was "Don't/" Bill repeated softly. "1 just reholstering his laser. know, Ed, I know how you feel. 82 PANTAST AND SCIBNCII. :FICTION But just don't. Bochner won't Harker hesitated, then nodded. stand for it. I've Sown with him The two men went to the under­ a lot longer than you have." side of the ship and stared in be­ "But- Two months, Bill!" musement at the light green blades sighed Harker. 'We're going to be that were burgeoning there. "Fun­ here for two months( Did he have ny," Harker murmured after a mo­ to start tonight? Like that? Right ment. "That earth should be baked while that thing was-" harder than ceramic pottery. But "Forget it!" grated McKenna, it's soft beneath my feet." keeping his voice low. "You'll be "Uh-h-uh," McKenna agreed, all right in a minute. Take a deep pressing a toe into the near-elastic breath. Drink some water." He let surface of the earth. "What do you his fingers slip away from Harker's make of it?" forearm as Bochner returned to the Harker scratched his head be­ table. When the Captain sat down hind one ear. "Damned if I know, again, the two men, eyes lowered, Bill . . . Some sort of life-force, were concentrating on their meal. I'd guess. I mean, grass tends to Bochner took a bite or two, then regenerate no matter how badly it's straightened up. "Did you notice treated, if the soil is good- But the grass?" he said, tilting his head this soil wasn't, a little while ago. toward the ship, a tapering shadow Maybe this planet isn't familiar against the star-filled night sky. with death-" His voice choked "The grass?" Harker echoed off, and he shut his eyes. blankly. McKenna looked from "Easy-" Bill McKenna cau­ their superior to the ship and tionedhim. back, with equal incomprehension. A yell from behind them made "It's re-growing already," Boch­ the two men tum and rush back to ner remarked. "Two hours ago, I the shelter which housed the an­ would have sworn nothing would alyzer. A ruffied Alan Bochner grow there again for the next few was sprawled upon the grass, there, years. But the ground right under trying to maintain some vestiges the firing-tubes is turning fuzzy of dignity as he clambered to his already. Damnedest thing. But feet. His blouse was ripped with good for the crops, if the planetary long diagonal gaps, and a faint soil will take kindly to them when tracing of pink scratches paral­ we plant." leled the rips upon the 8esh be­ "That is strange," said McKen­ neath, looking painful but not seri­ na, glad of any opportunity to pull ous. The door of the analyzer lay Harker's mind from its dismal in­ open, and the interior was empty. trospections. "Let's hne a look at "It jumped me!" he blurted, it, Ed, huh?" somewhat shaken from his wonted THE CLOIUOUS POUUH 83 serenity of mien. '1 heard the an­ er spoke. The only sound' was the alyzer click off, and came back to soft swish-and-clump of their pas­ look, and when I opened the door, sage. Abruptly, McKenna paused that damned little beast attacked and laid a hand upon Harker's arm. mel" He looked around him, sud­ "You're going the wrong way, denly, but there was no animal in Ed . . ."he said. "That rustle was sight. Off in the distance, fainter headed more to your right, I than the night wind, the three men think." could hear a fading rustle in the "Seemed to me more like this long grass. way," said Harker, freeing his arm Harker thought of pointing out, from the other man's grasp. He "Well, you attacked itl", but his started forward again. erstwhile rancor had been replaced "The orchard!" snapped McKen­ by a kind of warmly soothing joy, na. "I knew there was something and he let the remark remain un­ -I Ed, are you out of your mind?l" spoken. He hurried to keep pace with H81" "How could any creature get ker, but when he attempted to pierced by one of those beams and grab him again, Harker struck his be up and kicking in the next five hand away with a stinging slap minutes?" mumbled Alan Bochner, that sent the Bashlight spinning vainly trying to smooth his shred­ off into the tall grass. "Hey-1" eduniform. McKenna yelled in rising anger. "Shall we go look for it, sir?" Then a hard fist drove itself into Harker said abruptly. the side of his jaw, and the ground McKenna's head snapped up, seemed to leap up jarringly against and he gazed through the near­ his chest and tace. darkness at Harker's face, but When he pushed himself up found it unreadable. Bochner, in­ from the earth, shaking his head volved with the futile smoothing groggily, there was no sign of Ed of his ruined garb, only glanced Harker. He located his fallen Bash­ up for a moment. "Good idea," he light by its steady blue-white glow said. "I want to examine that thing in the depths of the grass, and thoroughly. You'd better take Bash­ stood in the middle of the open lights. I'll turn on the magnetic meadow, hesitantly. By rights, he homing beam. This is too big a should head directly back to Boch­ world to get lost on." ner, with a full report of the inci­ McKenna, feeling unaccounta­ dent. Striking a fellow-officer, at bly uneasy, got two Bashlights least, did not carry the death-pen­ from the shelter, then he and Har­ alty, as striking Bochner would ker started across the grassy mead­ have. But Harker would be broken; ow toward the distant tree5. Neith- surely, and dishonorably dis- 84 PANT ASY AND SCIBNell PICTION charged from the service. McKen­ "I guess it can survive anything-• na, regulations or not, did not His thought broke off as the circle want the responsibility for ruin­ of light fell upon Harker. The man ing another's life and career. Not looked up with a lazy grin, and while there was a chance of cov­ waved a hand at McKenna. His ering up. other hand held a globular dull red He reached up and tenderly felt piece of fruit, with a pulpy orange the swollen, aching spot on his interior. It was half-devoured, jaw where Harker's fist had con­ and streaks of syrupy juice drib­ nected. If he could find the other bled onto his blouse from his chin. man, they'd have to cook up a story "You damned fool!" said McKen­ to account for it. When but two na, lashing out with his boot and men were patroling alone a kicking the fruit right out of Har­ staunch refusal to name an antag­ ker's hand. It plopped wetly in the onist was ridiculous. With even darkness. three, there was an element of Harker only shrugged. "There's doubt as to an assailant's identity. more where that came from." He But Bochner already had shown brushed the juice from his fingers ·signs of dissatisfaction with Har­ onto his thighs, and got to his feet. ker. He would enjoy the opportu­ McKenna warily took a backward nity of having to discipline him. step, his hand hesitating just over And that, McKenna realized, he the blunt grip of his laser at his didn't want to be a party to. He belt. Harker saw the incompleted began to run, then, toward the motion and laughed. "What now, black wall in the gathering ni~t old friend? You and Bochner plan that was the entrance to that alien to analyze my corpse?" orchard. "You stupid nut," said McKen­ "Harker?" he called softly, from na, almost sobbing his rage. "You the first copse of trees at the onset could be brought back to Earth in of the area, keeping his voice as irons for this! I ought to pistol­ low as possible. There was no re­ whip some sense into you-" ply, the beam turned toward the For answer, Harker rose on tip­ ground to hide any tel1tale glow toe, reached up into the foliage from being seen back at the ship, overhead, and plucked another suc­ he moved forward into the orchard. culent piece of the dull red fruit. The ground here, strangely, was "You should try some," he said. "It as grassy as that of the open field, tastes like Persian melon with just though the shade of the broad, a touch of lime juice." squat trees should have impeded McKenna felt his arms and its growth. "If it can survive the shoulders trembling, and got con­ rocket-fires," he mused to himself, trol of himself. "Listen-" he said THE GLORIOUS FOURTH 85 desperately, his rage submerged demeath, he's probably as soft as beneath genuine panic for his either of us." friend's future, "Ed-let's go "Thanks for your kind words, back, now. Please. Wash that junk Lieutenant," came a cold, flat voice off your face and hands and come out of the darkness behind McKen­ with me to the ship. I can say I na. Then Captain Bochner was en­ tripped over a root or something tering the orchard, flicking on the and bashed my jaw against a tree­ flashlight he had left dark during trunk ..." his approach. "I rather thought Harker's air of amused insolence Harker was up to something when softened, and he let the fruit fall he offered to chase that cub-thing. into the grass, then. "Thanks," he It's not in him to volunteer for any said to McKenna. "I don't know extra work. Then, when I saw the why I'm taking out my feelings lights coming over this way, to­ about Bochner on you, Bill. 1-1 ward the orchard, I knew he was think he frustrates me, more than -" Bochner broke off as his eyes anything. . . . I don't mean his fell upon the swollen purple bruise lordly attitude. I mean his blind­ upon McKenna's jaw. He smiled, ness{ How any man can look then, with a grimness that chilled around at a paradise like Vega McKenna's blood. "So?" he said. IV and think of nothing but "As if just desertion wasn't enough, analyzing it for the Terran scien­ Harker, you had to-" tists-!" "Sir," interrupted McKenna, "it "I know, I know," sighed Mc­ wasn't desertion-" Kenna. "But that's the way he is. "Shut up, Mister!" snapped It's probably why he's the captain, Bochner. "There's no other name and we're the crew. I couldn't see for it. And the penalty is quite anything worthwhile getting ac­ clearly stated in the manual." His complished if a pair of esthetes like laser was out and its muzzle point­ you and me were running things, ed at Harker's stomach in an in­ could you?" stant. Harker shook his head and gave "You can-t-1" blurted McKen­ an unhappy chuckle. "No. No, I na, his hand flashing out to grab guess I can't. . . . Maybe I'm be­ the Captain's wrist. The weapon ing too hard on the guy, at that. crackled and hummed, its beam He did put on the CO. early­ lancing hotly upward, deflected And made that remark about prob­ into the foilage of the overhanging ably hating to leave when we fin­ tree. With a curse, Bochner jerked ished up.... " his arm free, and then he and Mc­ "Sure," said McKenna. "It's just Kenna fell beneath a shower of that his job gets in the way. Un- sliced-off branches, thick leaves 86 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION and gibbous red fruit. When they workload on the two remaining had pried the tangled debris away men was greater by half, now, and and regained their feet, Harker -finished or not-they would was gone. Bochner stolidly hol­ have to take off at the end of their stered his laser, eyes deadly with two-month sojourn, or wait anoth­ a promise of vengeance. er eighteen months for Vega IV to ''That's going on your record, be in a favorable relationship to Mister," he said to McKenna. Earth. True, they had the fuel to "I hope so!" spat his lieutenant. cruise the necessary semicircular "So far, this trip, it's the only thing orbit about the blazing star when I have to be proud of!" He turned it would lie between them and the on his heel and started back Solar System, but it would leave through the dark meadow toward them with no reserve in case of an the ship. Bochner stared after him, emergency. They could save their nostrils dilated with suppressed power, besides, by utilizing the fury, but said nothing. One man planet's orbital velocity to aug­ alone could not safely pilot a ment their own. spaceship back to Earth. Even the Leaves and fruits and grasses two of them, if Harker were not proved to be not greatly different found, would have a rough time of in structure from T erran cousins. it. He was going to need McKenna. But the fauna of Vega IV seemed He'd already lost one man; anoth­ to avoid them deliberately. Since er good flareup of tempers could that first night, they had seen­ cost him the other. With icy con­ save at a great distance-no other trol, Bochner bent, retrieved his living creature. Even the birds had fallen light, and started back over stopped flying over the meadow in the meadow after McKenna. which the spaceship stood. Their rainbow forms could be glimpsed The next five days passed une­ soaring over the wooded areas, and ventfully. There was no sign of their melodious trillings heard Harker, although-on McKenna's when the two men passed through insistence that the other man was the forest in search of specimens, mentally disturbed and needed but they were never near enough help-Bochner had consented to to kill or capture. McKenna, de­ join him in a search of the area for spite their assigned mission, took a one day. At the far end of the fruit kind of perverse, serves-him-right orchard, they located a few prints delight in Bochner's subsequent of his boot-soles. Nothing more. discomfiture. Bochner sensed this Even McKenna was forced to irrational contentment in his sub­ agree that no more time than that ordinate, but gave no sign. He could be wasted on Harker. The dreaded the outcome of a battle lliE GLORIOUS FOUJ.lli with his only remaining aide, and one. It was not the act, the two as the days wore on even regretted knew without mentioning the fact his harsh attitude toward Harker. aloud, of a rational human being. Something about Vega IV fright­ They'd taken their bark-samplings ened him. He did not Jet himself with many a sudden glance over­ dwell on the thought of being sud­ the-shoulder into the surrounding denly alone there. shrubbery, and had been glad to For things kept disappearing. return to the sunlit breadth of the None-thank heaven-of the meadow once more. Earth-brought things. But the "We've got to get specimens of samplings of botanical life, after the living creatures to analyze, analysis, would aU at once not be Bill," said Bochner, toward the found where they had been stored. finish of their final week on Vega Bochner didn't like it at aU. He IV. As the day moved inexorably began imagining things, his mind by, a mutual sense of uneasiness peopling the ubiquitous taU gras­ had thrown them into a first-name ses with tiny creatures like pack­ relationship. It made the alien rats, animals that lurked about un­ night-noises less disquieting, seen until his back was turned, somehow. "As it is, we're going to then rescued their ravished bits of be disbelieved by quite a few folks leaf and stem from the hands of back on Earth when we tell our the "aliens". It was an act too near disappearing-plant stories. The en­ to intelligence to be comfortable. tire trip wiii be wasted if we don't If that was what was happening to get something more." the specimens. Bochner refused to ''I'm game, Alan," McKenna consider any other possibility. shrugged unhappily. "If I .could At the end of the second week, . get close enough to one of these on a foray into the woods for bark­ creatures to shoot-!" samples from a somewhat scab­ Bochner gave a dismal nod of rous pink vine they had noted dur­ understanding. "I think Harker ing a previous trip, they found may have been right about the life­ Harker's clothing. It was untorn, force of this place. It's not, unfor­ so that precluded any theory of at­ tunately, a factor which the analy­ tack by a wild beast. Boots, blouse, zer makes any note of. But there's thick woolen socks, shorts, hol­ something, some intense vitality­ stered laser and underclothing a sort of eternal springtime gush of were scattered along a more-or-less will-to-survive-that inhabits ev­ regular line through the trees, as erything • on this planet. Just though Harker had grown un­ watching the grasses grow makes comfortable in them as he strolled, me feel positively decrepit., and had doffed the items one by "Maybe nothing ever died here 88 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION before we came," suggested Mc­ ner turned too quickly and Kenna, somberly. "We're a threat sprawled face-down into the tang­ such as Vega IV has never known led bushes, but when McKenna before. It's no wonder the animals turned to assist him, the man avoid us." waved him off. "Still and aU," muttered Boch­ ''I'm all right! Get going! Don't ner, "if that first-and-only animal lose sight of it!" could recover its viability within McKenna bobbed his head in minutes of being struck down, I quick acquiescence, and began to should think they'd have nothing run toward the last spot where he to fear from us." had glimpsed the creature. Be­ "Except the pain," said McKen­ hind him, he heard Bochner re­ na. "You're Christian enough to gain his feet and start to follow. understand that, Alan. No matter As he ran, McKenna saw the thing how strong one's guarantee of im­ again. A dim, chalk-white flash of mortality, it's no fun taking that motion, it was before him, then one-time plunge. . . ." gone again. He jabbed the stud of He paused, then, as Bochner his laser, and sent the beam in a stood up. The senior officer was sweep that felled a score of ancient slowly raising an arm, pointing off trees before him. He couldn't be toward the distant fringe of trees certain if he had struck the crea­ at the rim of the meadow. "Bill­ ture itself with the beam, but amid There's something over there. the brutal crashing of those rough •.." Bochner said. "I barely trunks and limbs, he heard a short, caught a glimpse of it, through the anguished cry. "Come on I" he trees,. , but it's there. Something yelled back to the pursuing Boch­ bI g. ner. "Overthisway-1" McKenna's laser was unhol­ McKenna almost stumbled over stered even before he reached his the brink of a short precipice, but feet. "Let's go after it, then," he saved himself by grabbing at the said. "You lead the way." smooth-topped stump of one of the Together, in a steady jog, they beam-truncated trees. A narrow, traversed the meadow to the for­ shallow valley lay just before him, ested area, and plunged unhesi­ its bottom cluttered with fallen tatingly into the green shadows of plant life. In the midst of the rust­ the underbrush. Up ahead, Mc­ ling green mass, something white Kenna saw a flicker of white, a was wriggling, pushing its deter­ darting blur between the thick mined way up through the leaves. boles of the lowslung trees. "There . . . McKenna saw a bit of the -1" he shouted, crashing off in creature then-it seemed to be the direction of the creature. Boch- covered from head to foot with THE GLORIOUS JIOUII.nl 89 velvet-soh white lather- No, down. Where the cartilaginous fun­ those were feathers, curly white nels of his outer ears had once mounded feathers. A 8eeting no­ stood, yet another pair of wings tion that they had captured some 8apped and rustled as the thing ungainly land bird-a ratite, that had been Ed Harker attempted 8ightless bird like the emu or cas­ to free itself. Without a second's sowary-crossed his mind. But thought, Bochner's laser was point­ then he saw the face of the crea­ ing toward the monstrous sight, his ture and turned away, retching, stomach churning with nausea as from the sight. Bochner, just burst­ he made a natural man's automat­ ing through the shrubbery behind ic attempt to destroy anything so McKenna, nearly collided with warped and unnatural. him. Seeing his face, he said, Then Harker called out. "Wait "What is it, Bill?" -1 Captain, don't!", and Boch­ "It's Harker," McKenna ner's weapon-hand faltered. ''You groaned. "Dear God in heaven, don't understand, sir!" cried Har­ it's Harker/" He buried his face in ker, keeping his gaze locked upon his hands. the other man's eyes, half-mesmer­ Bochner pressed past him, then, izing him into immobility as he and looked with horror at the writhed to loosen the twisted vines thing emerging from the green tan­ and limbs that yet impeded his es­ gle below the lip of the precipice. cape. "I'm all right! I'm what I The lieutenant was hideously w~mt to be! It's freedom, sir, don't transfigured. you see? From the moment I ate Save for his eyes, nose, lips and that fruit, I felt the change com­ cheeks, he was totally covered with ing upon me." soft white down. His very eye­ "You- You knew this was hap­ lashes were fluttery soft tendrils, pening?" choked out Bochner, the sort which used to be made in­ fighting his rising gorge. "And you to feather boas. From his shoulder­ let it?" Behind him, an ashen­ blades jutted short stubby wing­ faced McKenna had finally nerved lets, no larger than a robin's. himseU to tum and see the sight Thrusting laterally from his kid­ that would forever haunt his neys were two larger wings, long dreams. and narrow like those of an alba­ "Haven't you ever yearned to 8y, tross. His ankles sprouted buzzing sir?" pleaded Harker, his down-sur­ small pinions, like a humming­ rounded face twisted With emo­ bird's, like the talaria of the an­ tion. "Not in a plane, or a space­ cient god Mercury. From wrist to ship- But of your own self, like thigh, a fragile webbing stretched, the birds! I can, now! I dol" He nubbly with the chalky white gestured upward, helplessly. "I 90 FANTASY AND SCIENCE PICTION was coming to this glade when their hummingbird-wings strug­ McKenna's beam struck. I could­ gling to uphold them, all the long n't get airborne back there in the way down. Arms and hands wafted woods-" He was suddenly free tom webbing futilely in the air of the leafy encumberances, and to bear away the chest and shoul­ sprang lightly to the side of the ders, while the kidney-wings tried steep slope, a flash of white mo­ to glide away with the remainder tion the eye could hardly follow. of the trunk. Bochner doubled up But Bochner stood above him, an and vomited. In a few minutes, unmoving menace to escape, the the last life-mad segment of the laser still clenched in a white­ mutated Ed Harker had crashed knuckled fist. "Sir, if you'D only and flopped and floundered and hear me out-!" begged the thing finally lain still. that had once been a man. "Please Wiping his stained mouth on don't kill me-" the back of his wrist, Alan Boch­ Bochner hesitated, his weapon ner turned to Lieutenant McKen­ dipping. na. "Help me gather him up," he Then Harker, with a howling wheezed, sick and miserable. cry of triumph, soared upward past "We'll take him back with us." To­ ·the faces of the two men like an gether, they began to seek out the embodied hurricane, the air pieces of that travesty of a human screaming at the swiftness of his being. passage, and-many yards higher When they blasted away from than the surrounding treetops­ the planetary surface, that night, be looped backward, bead over only a nagging sense of duty-or heels, arched his terrible feathered possibly neatness-made Bochner body, and swooped toward the utilize the CO.-nozzles at all. He freedom of the forest on the far side would just as soon have watched of the valley. the entire planet bum. In the It was the beam from McKen­ freezing-locker of the ship's food­ na's weapon that cut him in half, storage compartment, they kept high in the sunlit air of Vega IV. what remained of Harker. By tacit . . . agreement, each segment had been And then, horror piling upon tightly wrapped in metal foil and horror, his sundered body broke in­ canvas, and kept separate from the to even lesser parts. The slack­ others. They didn't want to chance jawed head, its ear-pinions Railing, seeing what would occur should arced and looped mindlessly in the parts be left free to recombine. the blizzard of broken feathers Back upon Earth would be time that the laser-beam had caused. enough for that. It would be a task The feet skied across the clearing, for the Terran scientists. Neither mE GLOJUOUS FOURnJ 91 Bochner nor McKenna wanted "That's about the size of it," any part of it. nodded Bochner. "Well? What do we do, Bill?" Earth was al... ·udy swimming in­ "We don't have much choice," to view on the telescreen when said his lieutenant, quietly. McKenna discovered the freezer The two men strapped them­ was empty. Canvas and foil, still selves into the contour-cradles. fastened, lay tenantless. A frantic Bochner adjusted the setting on search of the ship showed them no the panel, then cut the rockets on sign of Harker's body, living or full, until their course had turned dead, not so much as a feather's at right-angles to its original di­ worth. rection, and the telescreen showed "He must have just-evaporat­ only the stark white gleam of Po­ ed . . ." McKenna said, when laris. He let the rockets run until the two men met, defeated, in the all the fuel was depleted. Then, control room. "Perhaps it explains beyond the ability to obey a coun­ what became of those bits of grass termand by his own superiors, he and leaf.... " radioed his report to Earth. When "I know," said Bochner. "Evap­ it was finished, he disconnected the orated. In a spaceship, Bill. A microphone. closed system. Air and water con­ Then Bochner and McKenna stantly being reclaimed. ADd then got out the chessboard and began used. By us." to play an unhurried game, wait­ McKenna stared at him, then ing for the malevolence of the looked at the twinkling blue-green "Glorious Fourth" to begin its work orb growing upon the telescreen. upon them. As it turned out, they "We're infected, I suppose," he had three days remaining to them said softly. "And, sooner or later. before the horrors began. "

------Mercury Press, Inc., 347 East 53 Street, New York, N.Y. 10022 F-10 Send me The Magazine of FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. I enclose 0 $5.00 for one year 0 $9.00 for two years. 0 $12.50 for three years. Name•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••...... Add~ ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• City • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • State . • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Zip # ...... BOOKS

SOME MONTHS AGO, I MET A the program, and stemmed from gentleman. His name is Chard some of Clarke's comments on sci- Powers Smith, and he is a writer 6. The burden of the speech was, of repute in fields remote from as nearly as I can paraphrase at science fiction. He is a New Eng­ this distance in time: lander, both by passionate attach­ Man needs myth. We are not ment and by inteiJectual-literary able to live with raw truths. The personality, and he has been a Judaeo-Christian mythology nur­ New Englander long enough so tured our civilization, and has sus­ that he could teiJ me (and did, at tained it for two millenia; now it a delightful dinner, the day after appears to be no longer appropri­ I sought out his acquaintance) ate to the needs of modern man. charming stories of coJJege days at Science fiction seems _to be serving in some ways as a makeshift, Yale at the time when every young patchup mythology to those most gentleman kept a drawer-fuJJ of conscious of the realities of our white gloves, to be worn once only burgeoning scientific culture. Is it and discarded. possible that a new myth of ade­ I did not know such details as quate scope and significance will this when I first heard him speak, emerge from s-f? And if not, where of course-bot his appearance, will it come from? accent, and rhetoric conveyed a If I have misinterpreted, or total impression quite in keeping mis-stated his intentions, or per­ with the image I have tried to pre­ haps added unconsciously, too sent with trifling detail here. The much of my own thinking to his occasion was a rather impressively actual words, I hope Mr. Smith respectable literary gathering of will correct me; I will in turn pass the sort I seldom attend; this time on the correction. But I believe my I had gone to hear Arthur Clarke paraphrase is reasonably accu­ speak on the putative "two cul­ rate; in any case, it is the way l tures." Mr. Smitl1's five-minute ad­ remember the statement, and close dress to the group occurred during enough to the original to make the discussion period foJJowing clear my astonishment when I 92 BOOKS 93 heard it delivered in the unmis­ erature at Montana State Univer­ takeable accents of literary Ver­ sity, with one previous book to his mont. credit, the 1963 novel, TIUAL AT Since then, I have ceased to be BANNOCK. startled at the sources of new in­ sights into s-f, or new insights Let's start with Cordwainer through the use of it. This month, Smith •, because he starts with a not entirely by happenstance, I prologue to his book which speaks, am in a position to spread out a to some extent, for all these writ­ sampling of the variety of style, ers: and diversity of origin, of some of This is science fiction, yes. But the best new work being done in is comes from your own time, your the way of modern myth-making. own world, even your own past. Some of it is what even the hard­ All I can do is work the symbols. est-shelled buffs would call "real The magic and the beauty will science fiction;" some is wildly sur­ come of our own past, your pres­ ent, your hopes, your experience. realistic fantasy. (Most, I think, This may look alien, but it is really contains aspects of both.) Of the as close to you as your own fingers. six authors involved, only two are Some people will like this very "genre writers," whose names much. Many will not understand it would ordinarily be associated -and push it aside. That is their with the s-f fieJU : Cordwainer loss, reader, not yours, not mine. Smith and Ray Bradbury. The We two have this story between others are an Argentinian author us ••• weJI-known in this country pri­ Or more accurately, five stories, marily in esoteric literary- circles, all novelettes, four from Galaxy Jorge Luis Borges; a Spanish au­ ("Mother Hitton's Littul Kittons," thor, Jose Maria Gironella, known "The Dead Lady of Clown Town," here before this time only for his "The Ba1lad of Lost C'mell," and (officially approved, Catholic­ "A Planet Named Shayol"), and award-winning) historical novels "Drunkboat," from Amazing. of the Spanish Civil War; a Pol­ You may have read some of ish-born Frenchman, whose faint­ these before, even if you are not a ly fantasy-flavored work had al­ regular reader of either magazine; ready won a wide readership here, two have appeared in my own an­ before his current best-seller, THE thologies ("Shayol" and "Drunk­ sKI BUMs-Romain Gary; and boat," in the 6th and 9th "SF" An­ Jesse Bier, a young American au­ nuals), and I think "C'mell," at thor, a professor of American lit- least, was reprinted elsewhere (A

•sPACE LORDS, Cordwainer Smith; Pyramid, 1965; 50¢; 206 pp. 94 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION

GALAXY READER?); but it won't editor Don Bensen, (who might matter-they take re-reading very consider giving a course for other well. And (unless you are one of book editors on "How to read sci­ those who 'push it aside' -and ence fiction"); but it is even more there are those who do), the unfortunate than usual that en­ chances are that when you have re­ trenched mainstream snobbishness read once, you wiiJ do so again. will thus deprive the collection of Perhaps it would be more to the the critical attention it should point to say- that they don't need have, and might attain if it did not rereading? Of the five, three came have both paperback and category back to me from the depths of strikes against it. The stories, in memory, as soon as I read the first any case, will outlast the binding, page again-came back, not as and perhaps they will find their plots or memories of something way meantime into more durable learned, but with all the color and covers. sensation of personal experience. (Two are obvious: ''Clown Town" The two Bradbury volumes"' at was the third.) I reread these, too hand are reprints, and would not -as one listens again to well­ ordinarily be reported on here, loved music, or looks again at a since both were reviewed at the favorite painting, for the renewed time of original publication ritual of the experience, not for re­ (F&SF, May,. 1963, and July, freshment of the mind. 1964 ). But in a discussion of this I suppose it is in the nature of sort, two freshly available vol­ myth (or fable, or poetic prophecy umes of Bradbury short stories can -or any other operative 'symbol hardly be ignored. working') that it not only im­ Ray Bradbury is probably the proves on acquaintance, but can­ world's best-known s-f short story not be fully savored until it has writer; to many people outside the become completely familiar: only field, he almost identifies 'science­ when the plot and characters are fiction'; inside s-f, he is a contro­ transparent with use, do the un­ versial figure, much admired and derlying meanings and insights much rejected by those of the show through clearly. True Faith. The publication of SPACE I myself have very varied reac­ LORDS as a Pyramid Science Fic­ tions to Bradbury-but then he is tion paperback marks another a varied man. I have at times point in the already high score of railed against Bradbury as an

0 R IS FOR ROCKET, and THE MACHINERIES OF JOY, Ray Bradbury; Bantam re­ prints, 1965; 5~ and 60¢; 184 pp and 213 pp. BOOKS 95 anti-science-fiction writer. I find ers' in the business-and the busi­ his sentimentality intolerably ness he is in is myth-and-magic sticky at times; his nostalgias are making: the application of the not mine; the world of my child­ quality of wonder in the human hood was so remote from his-or mind to the natural wonder of the from his fantasies of it-that I am universe and the mysterious won­ compelled (you see) to question der of life itself, and of man as a whether that midwestern boyhood precious, special case of life. ever was or could be, except in the Jose Maria Gironella's tripar­ world of the American Dream tite collection • is a curious and (circa 1900). Bradbury-the-writer fascinating book, not readily class­ seems to step in and out of his ifiable in any way. The opening own dreamy attic, onto the main 40-page narrative, "Twilight," con­ street of the world I know. But tains a detailed, powerful, and when he does step out on the street, sometimes sickening, account of he does it with style, with integ­ the author's two-year experience rity, and with the magic of that of an acute state of melancholia, attic still inside him. (This attic­ accompanied by vivid hallucina­ image, but the way, is not mine, tions, visions, and 'psychic experi­ but Bradbury's; I lifted it· out of ences;' the 16-page closing sec­ an interview with him in Shaw tion, "'Fugitives," is a sort of scrap­ last year-a remarkably readable book-compilation of sentences and and solidly meaningful statement, paragraphs of writing produced about himself, his work, and his during the illness. Between these, views on s-f. The "attic," which he are eight short stories comprising spoke of figuratively, was the stor­ the section, "Phantoms," all derived age place for the accumulated from the same visionary experi­ experiences and enrichments of ences. the past.) The other-world reality of the It may be, then, precisely be­ stories is compelling; the closest cause he is looking at the world I parallel that comes to mind is Poe. know through eyes adjusted to the And as with Poe, the symbols on light of his own private world, which Gironella hangs his fanta­ that Bradbury at his best can show sies cover the whole range from me such startling and sometimes religious and supernatural phe­ beautiful new aspects of my own nomena to the traditional appa­ 'realities.' In any event, he is one ratus of science fiction. of the most skillful 'symbol work- In "The Death of the Sea," he

0 PHANTOMS AND FUCITIVES, Jose Maria Gironella; Sheed &: Ward, 1964; $3.95, 177 pp; translated by Terry Broch Fontsere. 96 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION uses the same frightening figure of hairs (four pages, to be exact), not finality Kurt Vonnegut manipu­ a reprint, but an "augmented edi­ lated so successfully in eAT's tion" of the 1962 title published CRADLE-but there is nothing in boards by New Directions. (One else in common between the two. story, "The God's Script," has The Red Egg is the adventure story been added-as well as some of of a cancer cell seeking its nesting the end-of-the-book informational place; but it is neither a drama­ material.) Again, there are three tized essay nor a horror story. sections to the book: Fictions, Es­ "Miracle in the Village" makes use says, and Parables-and I cannot of the familiar idea of a man liv­ say in this case which I found ing backwards in time, to tell a most exciting. There is no room, tender love story. in a 'roundup' of this sort, to dis­ The other stories use devices cuss the variety and significance more familiar to outright fantasy, of Borges' work; I prefer to wait, but in all of them, the use of the in any case, till I have in hand symbols is somehow pure-un­ his other recent volume, DREAM­ tainted, as it were, by any efforts TIGERS. I do not know whether at rationale or even relevancy to Borges is as familiar with standard the usual world. s-f writing as s-f readers have Gironella is, from the evidence been, mostly, unfamiliar with his of this book, a man of intense in­ work; if not, the man seems to tellectual interests, and probing have invented for himself virtu­ curiosity. He is also a profoundly ally every major concept the field religious Catholic, and presum­ as a whole has produced in half a ably a Franco-patriot. His real century-and they are all here, world is remote enough from mine tightly packed, sometimes only so that his perceptions of mutual outlined, occasionally written in realities might, in any case, bring full emotional depth. me new insights. But these stories But whether he casts the work sprang from a vastly remote in­ in the form of short story, parable, terior universe that might as well or essay, and whether he sketches have been in an entirely different or paints in full color, the man space-time-or indeed, actually combines, on every page, so much was. intellectual ferment and such im­ pactful symbolism, that it is only LABYRINTHS • is, by a few afterwards one realizes the star-

•LABYRINTHS, Jorge Luis Borges, edited by Donald A. Yates and James E. lrby; New Directions, 1964 (NDP #186); $1.90; 251 pp. plus Chronology, Bibliography, Introduction, & Preface by Andre Maurois. BOOItS fJ] tling quality of the prose itse1f. (If ful?) end-of-the-world (or begin­ this seems strong statement, it is ning?) surreality, having to do stronger than you thought: the with man's return to the seas. quality of the language seeps Jesse Bier, • whose work I have through half a dozen different not read before, emerges as an­ translators with almost equal ef­ other writer of intense awareness, fectiveness.) though (not yet at least) with There will be more on this in a Gary's sophistication and stylistic month or two. Meantime, there re­ skills. Again there are two stories main two volumes to discuss, with outright elements of (in this which are not primarily s-f collec­ case) fantasy: "Father and Son," tions, but deserve mention here and "Migdone." "Father and Son" not only for the handful of genre is a what-if about the end of World stories, but for some of the others· War II in Germany; but don't in each book which are infonned think you've read it before. Its by the same spirit, while adhering proposition is different and terri­ to a dilferent code of letters. fying; its resolution somewhat dis­ appointing-maybe necessarily so? Romain Gary's work has always I think there is no answer yet displayed a remarkable apprehen­ to the ethical questions involved in sion of the essential wonder of our punishment for genocide. "Mig­ times-the constant startlement, done" is the story of a man with a fear, awe, magnificence, which mote in his eye; or you can read it are implicit in this Age of Change as a ghost story, or if you prefer, (to what, we know not, but the as a psychiatric study. Its mood change is constant and cumula­ was evocative for me of a story I tive). HISSING TALES._ contains think possibly the best instance of two outright s-f stories. "Deca­ modern-gothic-Leiber's "Smoke dence" might be described a con­ Ghost." temporary Goya etching, portray­ And, as with Gary's collection, ing a Syndicate Boss caught in the much of the other work lies only toils of Art, caught in tum in the marginally across the borderline talons of the Organization Peo­ between fantastic and realistic ple; or you could call it a charm­ literature; the title story, in par­ ing sophisticated farce on Labor, ticular, has all the elements of Crime, Art, and assorted hangers­ good s-f-except of course the es­ on. "New Frontiers" is a quietly sential one of extrapolation. horrible (or perhaps slyly delight- -JuDITH MBRlUL

•HISSING TALEs, Romain Gary; Harper & Row, 1964; $4.95, 186 pp.

• A HOLE IN THE LEAD URON, Jesse Bier; Harcourt, 1964; $4.50, 248 pp. 98 FANTAST AND SCIENC11 PICI'ION

POEMS, by C. S. Lewis, edited by ment, his most memorable lines, Walter Hooper, Harcourt, $4.50. can be found elsewhere in the body of his work, as in THAT HIDEOUS C. S. Lewis published forth poe­ STRENGTH, the diabolically clever try in many diverse places for SCREWTAPE LETTERS, and TILL fifty years, all of it creditable. WE HAVE FACES. Yet, with this Some of it is noble, beautiful and reservatios, it is not inordinate exact. It is frequently amused and, praise to say that the occa­ as often as he means it to be, sional poems of a man so skilled amusing. The man was a literary in the arts of language and historian and critic, professor of theology are far better reading mediaeval and Renaissance Eng­ than a great deal that passes for lish at Cambridge, and one of poetry nowadays. There is a hand­ those tough and resilient grapplers ful of poems of specifically sci­ with religion who had left the ence-fictional interest: but Pre­ church and returned to it in the lude to Space, Science-Fiction middle of his life with great con­ Cradlesong, and An Expostulation viction. All of these qualities can will not particularly please the be seen in all his work, and I do hard-core science-fiction fan­ not believe he knew how to do a but in all likelihood neither does thing badly. Yet, while this post­ the great trilogy. For those who en­ humous volume is a eontinuous joy his novels, the POBMS of C. S. delight, the mantle of the poet is Lewis will be a lesser joy, but a one that he wore, I think, only in joy, throughout. odd moments. His greater achieve- -VIRGINIA KmD

THIS MONTH's coVER by Chesley BonesteD pictures three space ships spiralling out from Mars for the return trip to Earth. The ion powered engines (which give off the characteristic blue glow) provide a low thrust and acceleration, and the ships must spiral out at a greater and greater velocity until they reach escape velocity. The prominent dark feature on Mars is Syrtis Major, and the southern polar cap appears to the lower left. Thoth is the curved feature extending from the gray area toward the north pole. This painting appears in BEYOND THE SOLAR SYSTEM by Chesley BonesteU and Willy Ley, Viking Prus, 1964.

Fun color prim& of Chis month's cover without overprinting are lmlilable at $1.00 each. Send Nllli&tanee to MerCUQ' Press, 347 E. 53 Street, New York, N. Y. 10022. 'It is Samuel Johnson the coooersationalilt that we remember, not Johnson the writer. .. A tavern chair," he said, "is the throne of human felicity'" -and during the last third of his life, he sat enthroned, talking. His faithful recorder was ]ames BosweU, and in the story below, Robert F. Young draws upon one of their first meetings to give us another fine variation on a classic fantasy theme.

MINUTES OF A MEETING AT THE MITRE

by Robert F. Young

TBB ORIGINAL OF THE FOLLOW· Dr. Dickens had not-. specified ex­ ing literary fragment was among actly what kind of immortality he the batch of Boswelliana recently had in mind; (2) that Boswell found in the west tower of the simultaneously realized that there castle of Cernach, County Cork, was a quality about Dr. Johnson's Ireland, and every indication role in the affair that did not quite points to its having been included meet the eye; and (3) that Bos­ in an earlier version of The Life of well concluded it would be better Samuel Johnson. Although the bi­ for all parties concerned if the ographer's reasons for excluding it public were to consider Johnson as from the final manuscript were owing that to a Biographer, which buried with him and cannot be Providence had enabled him to dug up again, we are, nevertheless, obtain for himself. justified in drawing the following Connaught on the Snithe tentative conclusions: (I) that January 17, 1988 upon rereading the passage in question, Boswell realized that On Saturday, the 2nd of July, 99 100 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION 1763, I again supped at the duced a good supper, of which Mitre with Dr. Johnson and Dr. Johnson partook as enonnously as Goldsmith. It happening to be a he did of the wine which fol­ very rainy night, with a pro­ lowed. Gradually, the veins nounced chill in the air, we chose which, during the repast, had a table next to the hearth, wherein swelled out on his forehead, sub­ a small fire was being maintained sided; and the perspiration, which on the grate for the physickal com­ the intensity of his appetite had fort of the patrons, few of which, brought into being, dwindled to a owing to the unfavourable dispo­ faint film of moisture. A tall, sition of the weather, were pres­ grey-suited man of indetenninate ent. age, narrow of countenance, pale As he had done on the preced­ of skin, and with dark, glowing ing evening, Dr. Goldsmith at­ eyes, had in the meantime taken tempted to maintain that knowl­ up a position before the hearth. edge was undesirable on its own He apologized for his proximity, account because it i~ frequently a saying that he was extremely sus­ source of unhappiness. Johnson, ceptible to the chill and was seek­ who, as we have already seen, dis­ ing to ward it off by the only dained this attitude, countered means available. He introduced with a smile of ridicule. "Sir (said himself as Dr. Dickens, where­ he), is it your contention that the upon Johnson bade him join us at scullery maid who plucks the our table. chicken is less happy than the JOHNSON (after our guest cook who prepares it for the table had seated himself): "Sir, the in­ because the cook is better ac­ fluence of a moist atmosphere quainted with the fowl's physickal upon the human frame is much properties?" GOlDSMITH: "No, overemphasized in the world. sir, I do not contend such to be the London is not the worse for its truth, for unhappiness resulting climate, but the better.'' DICK­ from knowledge comes only in the ENS: "In that, I fear I cannot higher spheres, where knowledge concur.'' JOHNSON: "London, elevates the traveller to lofty pla­ sir, is a state of mind.'' DICK­ teaus from which he views the ENS: "A most melancholy one.'' world in all its petty imperfec­ Johnson ordered the serving tions. Faust was not a happy man.'' maid to bring more wine. Dr. JOHNSON: "He was unhappy Dickens, however, declined a glass not because of his lore, but be­ when it was proffered him, al­ cause of the manner in which he though he of all those present came by it.'' seemed most in need of it. In­ This preliminary parley intro- deed, there was an intense pallor MINUTES OF A. MEETING A.T TH!. MITilE lOi present in his face, a pallor made ability to repress it. BOSWELL: to seem all the more acute by the "Sir, how dare you address Dr. thinness of his cheeks and the Johnson in so disrespectful a man­ burning quality of his eyes. I ner?" GOLDSMITH: "How dare could not forbear commenting, you, sir, indeed!" DICKENS: however indirectly, upon his un­ "I both dare to and have done healthy appearance. "Can it be, so." sir (said I), that you are used to a Johnson blew out his breath warmer and more consistent clim­ like a whale and swallowed three ate and have not as yet become glasses of port. "Sir (said he), I accustomed · to the idiosyncrasies perceive you are a vile Whig." of London weather?" DICKENS; Sir, I am more than "I shall never become accus­ that: I am the first Whig." JOHN­ tomed to the . idiosyncrasies of SON: "Then, sir, you are the London weather (said he), no Devil." DICKENS: "Precisely." more than I shall ever become ac­ Johnson blinked one of his customed to the idiosyncrasies of eyes. Then, unexpectedly, he London lexicographers." smiled. "Can it be then, sir (said Although it was toward myself he), that you have come to bargain that this observation was. ad­ for my soul? If so, have you not dressed, it was toward Dr. John­ presumed too much? I did not in­ son that the pale man's burning voke you." DICKENS: "You in­ gaze was directed. Johnson re­ voked me deliberately, and you turned the gaze, if not in kind, know it, when you imputed Faust's then in spirit. ''Why, sir (said Weltschmerz to the pact he made he), I consider the idiosyncrasies with me. But that would not have of both to be beyond reproach; been sufficient, per se, to have but, although you endeavoured to caused me to forsake my warm and cloak your scurrilous remark in cheerful fireside for this dismal ambiguity, I perceive that I alone fog bank you call London and this inspired it; and I must conclude, wretched grotto of gluttony you therefore, that I am the lexicog­ call the Mitre. Only because your rapher to whom you specifically re­ remark culminated your affronts fer." DICKENS: "There is none to me was I forced to come. I other to whom I could be referring, overlooked your writing 'Hell' off there being in the British Isles at in your spiteful lexicon as 'the this time none of comparable re­ place into which the taylor throws known or of comparable asinin­ his shreds' and I overlooked your ity." writing me off in the same out­ My indignation was of such rageous lucubration as 'a ludicrous magnitude that it was beyond my term for mischief. But I cannot 102 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION and I will not overlook three ex­ document, turned sideways so that amples of your cynical asperity in his massive shoulder intervened a row. Yes: I have come to bargain between my eyes and the page. for your soul, sir; and you are go­ "Sir (said I), might it not be the ing to sell it to me." JOHNSON: better part of wisdom to permit me "And what shall I receive in re­ to act as your representative in turn?" DICKENS: "Immortality, this matter?" JOHNSON (signing of course." JOHNSON (with a his name with a flurish): "No, no, smile of triumph): "Very well, sir, Boswell. Let us be rid of this I will sell it to you. And afterward, blockhead once and for all. What sir, I suggest that you do myself court of law would ever uphold and ~y companions the courtesy such a ludicrous negotiation?" of unburdening our good company DICKENS: "Oneofmine." with your uncivil presence." I did not like the expression of From the interior of his grey self-satisfaction on the man's coat, Dickens produced a docu­ countenance; but Dr. Johnson was ment with a bright-red border and right, and he had signed his name spread it out on the table before for no other reason than to get rid Dr. Johnson. He next called the of this demented dolt who fancied serving maid, and bade her bring himself to be none other than Old quill and ink. JOHNSON (with Nick himself; and as for the con­ a roar of mocking laughter) : tract, Johnson was right about that "What-you do not want it signed too: no court of law would ever in blood?" DICKENS: "Sir, uphold such a ridiculous agree­ you would do well to pay less at­ ment; and even were a court to do tention to old wives' tales and so, the paradox inherent in the more to the world around you. terms would invalidate them, for a When signed in ink, one of my man who has been rendered im­ contracts is as binding as one of mortal retains his soul forever, yours is. That line right there at and could not part with it even if the bottom, please. Where it says he wanted to. 'signature of litterateur'." Dickens, seemingly divining Both my legal instincts and my my thoughts, had fixed me with a awareness of Dr. Johnson's no­ gaze of such intensity that when I toriously poor eyesight caused me met his burning eyes, my mind to lean forward in an attempt to reeled. I felt as though hot, invis­ discern what was written on the ible fingers were digging into my paper. In this, I was thwarted by brain, arranging this pattern of none other than Johnson himself, thought and re-arranging that. who, almost as though he did not The sensation did not last long want me to see the contents of the (indeed, in retrospect, I am not JdlNUTES OF A. MElTING A.T THE MIRE 103 certain that I experienced it at too indolent to write it down?" all), and after a moment, Dickens JOHNSON: "The wise man sees to lowered his gaze, returned the it that it is written down." document to the interior of his It was shortly following this coat, and stood up. He stepped meeting at the Mitre that my mind over to the hearth and resumed his began to be impregnated with position before the grate, and what I have already referred to, when next I looked, he was gone. for lack of a more scientifick term, Dr. Johnson, meanwhile, had as the Johnsonian aether, and soon resumed his conversation with afterward I began committing to Goldsmith, who, as usual, was en­ paper the exuberant variety of Dr. deavouring to shine. JOHNSON: Johnson's wisdom and wit. I have "Why, sir, in making such a prog­ since had no cause to regret my nostication, you are assuming assiduoumess in this matter, for it, Fielding to have been a literary together with the various letters, giant. This is manifestly untrue." papers, &:c. which I have collect­ GOLDSMITH: "But in Tom ed, has enabled me to execute Jcmes he penned a masterpiece my labors with a facility which that virtually ensures his immor­ would otherwise have been impos­ tality." JOHNSON: "Pish. It is sible. not for what they write during On Sunday, the 3rd of July, it their lifetimes that literary men was my pleasure to attend one of are remembered by posterity, but the levees for which Dr. Johnson for what they say." GOLD­ was so famous at the time. I found SMITH: "But sir, who will ever him sur- know what they said if they were (Here the fragment ends.)

CHANGING YOUR ADDRESS? The Magazine of FANTASY and SCIENCE FICTION will follow you anywhere providing you let us know six weeks in advance. Please be sure to give us your old address as well as the new one, and add the ZIP number. (If convenient, send the address label from the wrapper of the next copy of F&SF you receive.) Subscription Service MERCURY PUBLICATIONS 34 7 East 53 Street New York, N.Y. 10022. SCIENCE

THE LAND OF MU

by Isaac Asimov

WHEN I WAS IN MY EARLY TEENS, I found a book in the public library that seemed fascinating. It was "The Lost Continent of Mu" by James Churchward and I took it out exultantly. The disappointment was keen. I may have been young, but I wasn't so young as not to recognize nonsense. This was my first encounter with the "serious" literature spawned by the Atlantis legend (as opposed to hon­ est science fiction) and I needed no second. If you want to know more about the Atlantis myth, about Lemuria and Mu, and so on, don't look for it here. I refer you to an amusing and interesting book by a gentleman with the highest rationality quotient I have ever met: "Lost Continents" by L. Sprague de Camp (Gnome Press, 1954). For myself, I will go no further into the subject except to say that the Land of Mu was a hypothetical continent that filled the Pacific Ocean and that, like Atlantis, allegedly sank beneath the waves, after having supposedly harbored a high civilization. Utter bilge, of course, and yet there is a queer coincidence that crops up. Churchward could not have known, when he wrote his first book on Mu in 1926, that the time would come when the word "Mu" would gain a certain significance in science. This significance rests chiefly in the problems that have arisen in connection with "Mu". These problems, far from being solved, or even moving toward solution, have, in the last quarter-century, grown steadily more puzzling and intense until now, in the mid-sixties, the daintiest and most succulent enigmas of the nu­ clear physicist rest right on "Mu." There is a land of Mu, in a manner of speaking, and it is far more 104 THE LAND OF MU 105 fascinating and mysterious than the murky lost continent of Church­ ward's fog-ridden imagination. Let me tell you about the real Land of Mu, Gentle Readers-

As usual, I will start at the beginning; and the beginning, in this case, is my article BEHIND THE TEACHER'S BACK printed only two months ago in the August, 196 5 issue of this estimable periodical. In that article, I described the efforts made to account for the existence of atomic nuclei despite the strong mutual repulsion of the protons con­ tained in those nuclei. To allow the nucleus to exist, the Japanese physicist, Hideki Yukawa, had found it necessary to postulate the existence of a particle intermedi­ ate in mass between the proton and the electron. In 1936, such a parti­ cle was found and was promptly named the "mesotron" from the Greek word "mesos" meaning "in the middle" or "intermediate." A syllable was saved by shortening this name to "meson." Unfortunately, there were two flaws to this happy discovery. The first was that the meson was just a little on the light side. This, however, might not be serious. It might easily tum out that there were factors Yukawa hadn't correctly taken into account in his reasoning. The second flaw was less easily dismissed. The whole point of the meson was that if it were to serve as the "cement" of the atomic nucleus, it would have to interact very rapidly with the protons and neutrons within that nucleus. It should, indeed, react with a proton, for instance, in not much more than a trillionth of a trillionth of a second. A stream of mesons striking a group of nuclei ought to be gulped up at once. But this didn't happen. A stream of mesons, shooting forward at great energies, can pass through inches of lead. In doing so, the mesons must carom off vast numbers of atomic nuclei and not be absorbed by them. For a dozen years, that irritated physicists. A particle had been pre­ dicted; it was found; and it proved not to be the particle that was pre­ dicted. Fortunately, in 1948, a second meson was found, a little more massive than the first, and it did react virtually instantaneously with nuclei. The second meson checked out perfectly as Yukawa's predicted particle and physicists have had no cause to question that conclusion since. It was now necessary to distinguish between the two mesons by name, and one good way was to make use of Greek letter prefixes, a common habit in science."' • I keep planning to write an article on tM Greel: alpfulbet atul fts use in science and somehow I don't get around to it. 106 PANTASY AND SCDNCB FICTION For instance, the first meson had precedence to the right to have the prefix "m" for "meson". The Greek letter-equivalent of "m" is p. which, in English, is called "mu". t Therefore, the first meson, the one which is not Yukawa's particle, was named the "mu-meson" and that is more and more frequently being abbreviated to "muon." The second meson, which is Yukawa's particle, was first discovered among the products of cosmic ray bombardment (the "primary radia­ tion") of the upper atmosphere. It therefore should have the initial "p" for "primary." The Greek letter-equivalent of "p" is r which, in Eng­ lish, is called "pi." Therefore, Yukawa's particle became the "pi-meson" or"pion." Suppose, now, we set the mass of the electron at 1, and consider the masses of the two mesons and of the proton and neutron:

electron 1 muon 206.77 pion 273.2 proton 1836.12 neutron 1838.65

If we look at this group of particles, we can say that the atom is made up of a nucleus, containing protons and neutrons held together by pions, and that outside that nucleus are to be found electrons. Here are four different particles, all essential to atomic structure. But that leaves the muon; the mu-meson; the particle which we can name, if we are feeling romantic enough, the physicists' "Land of Mu." What does it do? What function does it serve? Do you know that it is just about thirty years now since the muon was discovered and physicists still don't know what it does or what function it serves. This puzzle-the first of the Land of Mu-is not as acute as it might be. In the 1950's and 1960's, other particles were discovered by the dozens. There then arose the question of accounting for the existence and fm1ction of a large number of particles and not the muon only. There is the feeling now that what is needed is a general theory cover­ ing subatomic particles as a whole. Indeed such general theories are now being advanced, but this essay is not the place to discuss them. tThe continent of Mu, concerning which Churchward wrote, has no connection lit all with the Greek letter, mu, but I am building this article on the coincidence all the umte. THE LAND OP MU 107 However, other problems arose in connection with the muon that ap­ ply strictly to the muon and to no other particle; and concerning which physicists haven't yet the foggiest beginning of an answer.

Suppose we compare the muon and the electron, for instance. Item 1 : The electron carries a negative electric charge, arbitrarily set equal to unit-size, so that its charge is described as -I. It has a positively charged twin, the positron (charge, +I). There is, however, no such thing as a "neutral electron" (charge, 0). Should there be? Well, there is a "neutral proton" (charge, 0) which we call a neutron, which is a trifle more massive than a proton (charge, +I ) or its twin, the anti-proton (charge, -I). There is a neutral pion (charge, 0), which is a trifle less massive than the positive pion (charge, +I) or its twin the negative pion (charge, -I). Nevertheless, although the proton and pion can exist in uncharged form, the electron apparently cannot. At least a neutral electron has never been detected and there is no theoretical reason to suspect that it might exist. Now the muon. There is a negative muon (charge, -1) and a posi­ tive muon (charge, +I) but there is no neutral muon. Indeed, in May, I965 (three days ago, as I write this) the results of an experiment were announced in which streams of muons and of elec­ trons were bounced off protons. From the nature of the scattering one could calculate the volume over which the electric charge of a muon and of an electron were spread. No difference could be detected in the two particles. We can conclude then that in terms of nature and distribution of charge, the muon and electron are indistinguishable. Item 2: Subatomic particles have a property which can be most eas­ ily described as spin about an axis. The spin of an electron (or positron) can be expressed as either +lh or -'h. The spin of a muon (either negative or positive) can also be expressed as either +lh or -lh. In terms of spin, then, the muon and electron are indistinguishable. Item 3: The spin of the electron (or positron) sets up a magnetic field whose strength can be expressed as l.OOII60 Bohr magnetons. The spin of the muon (either negative or positive) sets up a magnetic field of strength equal to I.OO I I 62 Bohr magnetons. The difference is quite unimportant and in terms of magnetism, too, then, the muon and electron are just about indistinguishable. Item 4: The electron and muon can take part (or fail to take part) in certain interactions with other particles. For instance: a) A pion is an unstable particle which, left to itself, breaks down in 108 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION a couple of hundredths of a microsecond."' When it breaks down, it may produce a muon and a neutrino; or it may produce an electron and a neutrino. t In brief, either an electron or a negative muon can be pro­ duced by the breakdown of a negative pion; either a positron or a positive muon can be produced by the breakdown of a positive pion. b) An electron has very little tendency to interact with atomic nu· clei; it tends to remain outside the nucleus. A muon has very little tend· ency to interact with atomic nuclei; it tends to remain outside the nu­ cleus. In fact, negative muons can replace electrons in their orbits about nuclei, producing what are called "mesonic atoms." No doubt, positive muons could replace positrons in their orbits about the nuclei of anti­ matter to produce "anti-mesonic atoms." c) It is possible for an electron and its positively-charged twin, the positron, to circle each other for short intervals of time, making up a neutral system called "positronium." It is also possible for the electron to circle a positive muon in place of the positron, to form "muonium." Undoubtedly, a positron can circle a negative muon to form "anti­ muonium", and a negative muon can circle a positive muon to form something for which, as far as I know, no name has yet been coined ("mumuonium"?) We can conclude then that as far as the nature of particle interactions in which electrons and muons can take part is concerned, the two are in­ distinguishable. In fact, as physicists examined the muon more and more thoroughly through the 1950's, it began to dawn upon them that the muon and elec­ tron were identical. Well, abnost identical. There remained two important points of dif­ ference.

The first involves the matter of stability. The electron and positron are each stable. An electron or a positron, alone in the universe, will never (as far as we know) alter its nature and become anything else. The muon, however, is unstable. Even if alone in the universe, it will break down, after an average lifetime of 2.2 microseconds. The negative muon will break down to an electron and a couple of neutrinos, while a positive muon will break down to a positron and a couple of neutrinos. This certainly seems to be a tremendous distinction between electron and muon, but, oddly enough, it isn't. A microsecond is a brief interval of time on the human scale but not on the subatomic scale. On the sub- • A microsecond is equal to a millionth of a second, or 1 0_, seconds. tl'U lulve something to say about neutrinos later In the article. THE LAND OF MU 109 atomic scale there are reactions and breakdowns that take place in 1 0"23 seconds. The pion interactions that serve to hold an atomic mucleus to­ gether take place in such an interval of time. If we take I 0·23 seconds as a normal interval of time on the subatomic scale; short but not extraordinarily short; we might compare it to 1 sec­ ond on the human scale. In that case 1 o-6 seconds, which is a hundred quadril1ion times as long as I o-21 seconds, would be the equivalent of three billion years on the human scale. If we consider the muon from the viewpoint of the subatomic world, it lasts bil1ions of years and surely that is "practically forever." The difference between an electron that lasts forever and a muon that lasts practically forever is not great enough to bother a physicist. You yourself may, however, feel more hard-headed than a physicist. "Practically forever" is not "forever" you may exclaim, and six billion years is not eternity. In that case, look at it another way. When subatomic particles break down, the tendency is to form a lighter particle, provided none of the rules of the game are broken. Thus, when a negative muon breaks down it forms the negatively-charged, but lighter electron. The mass decreases but the electric charge remains, for the rules of the game decree that electric charge may not vanish. The electron, however, cannot break down for there is no particle less massive than itself that carries an electric charge. The charge must re­ main and therefore the electron, willy-nilly, must remain. The positron remains stable, too, because there is no particle less massive than itself that carries a positive electric charge. (Of course, an electron and a positron can undergo mutual annihila­ tion, for the negative charge of the first cancels the positive charge of the second. The total charge of the two particles before annihilation is + 1 plus -1, or 0, so that no net charge is destroyed.) In short, the fact that the electron lasts forever and the negative muon lasts only practically forever is entirely a matter of the difference in mass. We can ignore the difference in stability, then, as a purely deriva­ tive matter and pass on to the difference in mass, which seems essential. The negative muon is 206.77 times as massive as the electron; the positive muon is 206.77 times as massive as the positron. Up through I962, all other differences between these two sets of particles seemed to stem directly from this difference in mass. The case of stability versus instability is a case in point. Here is an­ other. When a meson replaces an electron in its orbit about an atomic nucleus, to form a mesonic atom, the meson must have the same angular 110 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICnON momentum as the electron. The angular momentum increases with mass and also with distance from the center of rotation. Since the meson is over 200 times as massive as the electron, it must make up for that in­ creased mass by decreasing its distance from the center of rotation (the nucleus) correspondingly. In very massive atoms, which ordinarily draw their innermost electrons into close quarters indeed, the meson drawn closer still, actually circles within the nucleus's outer perimeter. The fact that the muon can circle freely within the nucleus shows how small the tendency is for the muon to interact with protons or neutrons. (It also raises puzzling questions as to the nature of the inner structure of the nucleus.) In addition, the electrons of an atom in shifting from energy level to energy level, typically emit or absorb photons of visible light. The more massive meson shifts over energy gaps that are correspondingly greater. The photons such atoms emit or absorb are over 200 times as energetic as those of visible light and are in the x-ray region. . The peculiar structure of a mesonic atoms and its ability to emit or absorb x-rays can thus be seen to be merely another consequence of the great mass of the muon. Here is still another example. A pion, in breaking down, can form either a muon or an electron. One might think that, if the muon and electron were exactly alike, each ought to form with equal probability and as many electrons as muons ought to be formed. This, however, is not so. For every electron formed, 7000 muons are formed. Why is that? According to the theory of such interactions, the probability with which a muon or an electron is formed depends on how far short of the speed of light, the speed of the particle formed happens to be. The elec­ tron is a very light particle and at the moment of formation is fired out at almost the speed of light. Its speed is only slightly less than the speed of light and the probability of its formation is correspondingly small. The muon, however, is over 200 times as massive as the electron and is therefore considerably more sluggish. Its velocity, when formed, is quite a bit less than the speed of light and the probability of its formation rises correspondingly. The difference between the quantity of muons formed in pion breakdown and the quantity of electrons again boils down to a consequence of the difference in mass. Physicists have therefore taken to looking at the negative muon as nothing more than a "massive electron" and at the positive muon as a "massive positron." And that is the second puzzle from the physicists' Land of Mu. Why THE. LAND OF MU 111 should the muon be so much more massive than the electron? And just 206.77 times as massive, no more or less? No one knows. For that matter, why should this huge difference in mass make so little difference in respect to charge, spin, magnetic field, and type of inter­ actions undergone? No one knows.

And even yet we are not done. l'v.e saved the most recent and most tantalizing puzzle for last. There are certain massless, chargeless particles called neutrinos which have, as their twins, anti-neutrinos. (They are opposite in terms of the direction of their magnetic fields.) These particles, which are dis­ cussed in a bit of detail in my article HOT STUFF (F &: SF, July 1962) are particularly associated with electrons and positrons. When an electron is formed in the course of a particle breakdown, an anti-neutrino is formed along with it. When a positron is formed, a neutrino is formed along with it. When a negative muon is formed in the course of a particle break­ down, an anti-neutrino is formed along with it, too. And, of course, when a positive muon is formed, there comes the neutrino. At first it was thought that since the muon was more massive than the electron, the neutrino produced along with muons ought to be more mas­ sive than those produced along with electrons. Consequently, physicists distinguished among them by speaking of a "neutretto" as being associ­ ated with muons. However, the closer they looked at the "neutretto", the less massive it seemed to be until, finally, they decided the "neutretto" was mass­ less. But the only difference between muon and electron was mass, and if that difference was wiped out between the neutretto of one and the neutrino of the other, there was no difference left. Both were neutrinos (and anti-neutrinos). Physicists decided then that the muon's neutrino (and anti-neutrino) and the electron's neu­ trino (and anti-neutrino) were the same particle in every respect. This seemed but another example of how the electron and muon could not be distinguished except by mass and mass-derived properties. Yet one problem remained. When a negative muon broke down, it formed an electron and two neutrinos. From theoretical considerations, it was necessary to consider one of those neutrinos a neutrino and the other an anti-neutrino. But a neutrino and an anti-neutrino should be able to annihilate each other and leave nothing behind but electromagnetic radiation. 112 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION In that case, a negative muon should break down to form an electron as the only particle. And a positive muon should break down to form a positron as the only particle. At least, this should be observed once in a while. However, it was never observed. The neutrino and anti-neutrino were always formed in the breakdown of either the negative or positive muon and never annihilated each other. Physicists began to wonder if perhaps the neutrino and anti-neutrino didn't annihilate each other because they couldn't annihilate each other. Perhaps there were two kinds of neutrinos and two kinds of anti-neutrinos after all, one set associated with electrons and one with muons, and perhaps the neu­ trino of one set could not annihilate the anti-neutrino of the other. Could it be then that a negative muon broke down to form 1) an electron, 2) an electron-anti-neutrino, and 3) a muon-neutrino? And could a positive muon break down to form I ) a positron, 2) an elec­ tron-neutrino, and 3) a muon-anti-neutrino? If so, that would explain the facts of muon breakdown. Neverthe­ less, the possibility of two kinds of neutrinos seemed too much to swallow without additional evidence.

In 1962, therefore, at Broo](Jlaven, Long Island, a "two-neutrino experiment" was set up and carried out. High-energy protons were smashed into a bervllium target under conditions that formed a high­ energy stream of positive and negative pions. These broke down almost at once to positive and negative muons. The positive muons, when formed, were accompanied by muon-neutrinos, while the negative muons, when formed, were accompanied by muon-anti-neutrinos. Before the muons had a chance to break down, the stream struck a wall of armor plate about 4 5 feet thick. All pions and muons were stopped, but the muon-neutrinos and muon-anti-neutrinos went right on through. (Neutrinos can pass through light-years of solid matter without being stopped.) On the other side of the armor plate, the neutrinos and anti-neu­ trinos had a chance to interact with particles. They did this only very rarely, but every once in a while one of them did. A neutrino (charge, O) could strike a neutron (charge, 0), for instance, and form a proton (charge, +I). The rules of the game, however, say that you can't form a positive electric charge out of nothing. If one is formed, then a particle with a negative electric charge must be formed simultaneously so as to keep the total charge zero. THE LAND OF MU 113 Therefore when a neutrino and neutron combine to form a proton, they also form either an electron or a negative muon, since either of them can supply the necess~ry charge of -1 to balance the proton's +I. All the neutrinos in question were formed along with muons and are therefore muon-neutrinos. If the muon-neutrinos were indeed differ­ ent from electron-neutrinos, then only muons should be formed. If the muon-neutrinos were identical with electron-neutrinos, then the neu­ trinos could be considered as associated with either, and some of each ought to be formed. They might not be formed in equal numbers, for the mass difference might apply, but they ought to be formed. However, in the first experiment and in all that followed, muons, and muons only, have been formed. Electrons have never been ob­ served. The conclusion is that there are indeed two different neutrino/anti­ neutrino pairs; one pair associated with electrons and positrons, and one pair associated with negative and positive muons. And there is the third puzzle from the physicists' Land of Mu. What in blazes is the difference between a muon-neutrino and an electron­ neutrino? Both are massless. Both are chargeless. Both have a spin of lh . Put each in isolation and the physicist cannot imagine how to distinguish one from the other. But the neutron can tell. It will interact with one of them to form a proton and a muon, and with the other to form a proton and an electron. And how does the neutron tell the two neutrinos apart when we can't? No one knows.

There you have the physicists' Land ol Mu. Compare all this with Churchward's Land of Mu which could produce nothing more than the imaginary sinking of a mythical continent, and tell me where the true romance lies. Jazz and science fiction shar_e 1eoeral characteristics, among which are a freedom from inhibition and a penchant for sur­ prise. There is a good deal about jazz in this poignant story by Robert]. Tilley, but you will not have to recognize the tunes to appreciate an unusually fine performance-one which says more about communication and alienation than any story we have read in a long time.

SOMETHING ELSE

by Robert J. Tilley

THE EQUATORIAL REGION OF colored and highly attractive flora, the planet that the 'Cosmos Queen' backed by a picturesquely purple crashed on was liberally decorated range of hills. Dr. Williams shud­ with mountains, one of which it dered, hastily turned his back, and missed by a relative hairsbreadth rooted feverishly among the bits before disintegrating noisily in a and pieces until he found the sub­ wide clearing that separated the wave transmitter, a tangle of wires forest from its stolid granite foot. and dented casing that even his The dust and wreckage took some inexperienced eye told him was time to settle, and it was several out of order. He kicked it, yelped, minutes after that that Dr. Sidney then limped across to a seat that Williams, having surmised cor­ projected miraculously upright rectly that he was the sole sur­ among the debris. Slumped on it, vivor, emerged from the only sec­ he glowered at the landscape tion of the ship that had remained again. in one piece. He gazed forlornly at He mistrusted nature in the the alien landscape. raw. His first experience of its Locally, this consisted of multi- treachery had included being 114 SOY1II'IIIII& .. 115 stung by a wasp, blundering inno­ The ship hadn't even got baH­ cently into a bed of nettles and way to its destination. Due to being chased by a cow. The result some virtually unheard of me­ of this encounter, a supposed treat chanical mishap, they had been that had been provided by his forced back into normal space on parents when he was six years old, the outskirts of a small and ob­ had been to instil a deep loathing scure planetary system, short of of all things green and insect-rid­ fuel and in dire need of emer­ den. Concrete, plastic and the gency repairs. It had been decided metallic hubbub of urban exist­ that these could be tackled more ance formed his natural habitat, effectively on the ground, an un­ and he was unhappy away from it. fortunate choice in view of the The travelling necessitated by his resultant situation. lecturing chores was a nuisance, Dr. Williams got up and wan­ but he simply stuffed himself with dered about the wreckage, kicking tranquillizers and kept his eyes bits out of the way as he went. He firmly closed most of the time be­ didn't· know whether to cut his tween cities. throat then or wait until later, but His undertaking of a tour of the in the meantime he didn't want to Alphard system had been occa­ sit looking at the surroundings sioned by sheer financial neces­ any longer than he had to. They sity. Unrelenting pressure from both depressed and terrified him. his wife for the benefits to be de­ He could feel the ominous prox­ rived from a further step up the imity of greenery and smell its un­ professional and social scale, disguised, unfiltered presence, coupled with the recent unearth­ hear its gentle stirring and rus­ ing in Singapore of a reputedly tling at the perimeter of the clear­ complete collection of the prolific ing, see its fragmentary movement Fletcher Henderson band's origi­ from the corner of his eye as he nal 7 8 rpm recordings for which a moved, head down, among the mere cr. 5000 was being asked, forlorn remains of the ship. had coincided with the offer from What did it conceal? Life? It the Department of Cultural His­ had to, he supposed. What sort of tory (Colonial Division). Follow­ life? Peaceful? Threatening? A ing reassurances that accidents . timid, herbivorous creature that were nowadays virtually unheard was shyly concealing itself, or a of and that unlimited sedation prowling, slavering carnivore that facilities were available, he signed watched him leeringly from the the agreement with a shaking green darkness, savoring his obvi­ hand, packed his personal belong­ ous defenselessness, waiting only ings and equipment and left. until his fear was sweet enough in 116 FANTAil" AND SCIENCE FICTION its nostrils and then emerging to opened it. Excellent insulation take him in its claws (tentacles?), had ensured that the contents had preparatory to rending and de­ remained firmly in place, but that vouring him . . . in itself was no guarantee against He· swallowed, and looked havoc having been wreaked at any around for something sharp. A one of several vital points. He mustard-colored, familiar shape licked his lips, said a brief silent caught his eye, protruding from prayer, and eased the machine up beneath a crumpled section of and out of the box. panelling. Nothing tinkled. He held his Dr. Williams croaked an ejac­ breath, and shook it by his ear, ulation of relief, partially occa­ very gently. Still nothing. Dr. sioned by the reorientation gained Williams placed it on the ground, from finding something familiar and stared at it hopefully. and also because it appeared at As far as he could tell without first glance to be undamaged. He actually trying it, it was undam­ dropped to his knees and eased the aged. Had he been a man of me­ panelling to one side, his mouth chanical aptitude, Dr. Williams dry with excitement, crooning would no doubt have carried out softly and trying to keep his hands at least a cursory inspection as a steady. precautionary measure before The case itself was thick with switching it on, but he was not. dust, but intact. The contents, All he knew about its workings was though- He swallowed again. that it was mercifully battery op­ He wasn't worried overmuch about erated and that it carried a two his clarinet, snugly cushioned on year guarantee covering mechani­ all sides in its special compart­ cal failure. ment, and it was doubtful that He wondered how many mil­ anything had happened to the lion miles away the nearest au­ spools themselves, but their play­ thorised repair agency was, and ing apparatus was another matter. laughed, hysterically. If the ma­ Although it was almost completely chine was broken, it at least meant transistorised it inevitahlv con­ that further procrastination re­ tained a minimal number of mov­ garding his future would be quite ing parts, and despite their being pointless. Operative, it could at made to withstand moderately least save him from going insane rough handling they had recently as long as the batteries lasted (the been subjected to rather more than case held several spares); also, it they could be reasonably expected would almost certainly distract to survive. any marauding locals, if not ex­ He unlocked the lid, and actly deter them. It was also pos- SOMETHING ELSE. 117 sible, he was reluctantly forced to among the debris. He had been concede, that it would actually spared. It meant only a brief res­ attract them, but that was a pite, it was true; weeks, a month chance he would simply have to or two possibly, but with the pick take. With the solace that he of his life's researching to sustain could derive from it, life would be him, his final days would be made tolerable for at least a brief while; tolerable, perhaps in a bitter-sweet without it, unthinkable. way even happy. He would smoth­ With a fixed and slightly er his loneliness with the greatest demented smile on his face, Dr. performances of the archaic musi­ Williams picked out a spool at cal form that he loved and which random, fitted it, and pressed the had been his life's work, seeking 'ON' button. There was a click, a out each nuance, each subtle har­ faint whisper of irremovable sur­ monic and rhythmic coloration, face wear from the original re­ so that when the time came, when cording that he had always found the batteries were finally exhaust­ an endearingly essential part of ed, then he would take his leave the performance, and Duke El­ smilingly and with a full heart, lington's Ko Ko racketed into the grateful for the opportunity that stillness of the alien afternoon. Fate had seen fit to . . . Dr. Williams sat cross-legged Some distance away, the open­ in front of the machine and ing bars of Duke Ellington's Ko laughed, deliriously and uncon­ Ko grunted springily into being trollably. Eyes closed, he im­ beyond the muffiing barrier of the mersed himself thankfully in the trees. brassily percussive clamor that Dr. Williams leaped to his feet, now drove back his darkly threat­ a galvanized reflex that toppled ening surroundings, warming him again immediately as his legs himself at the blessed fire of its were still crossed. Slightly familiarity. He roared ecstatic en­ stunned by his fall, he sprawled couragement to the ensemble, amid the wreckage, listening with whooped maniacally at the brief a mixture of disbelief, puzzlement solo passages, and accompanied and sheer terror to the unmistak­ the final chorus with frenzied able (and yet oddly different) El­ palm-slapping of his knees. lingtonian voicing of brass and The performance crashed to a reeds that blared from the sur­ close, but Dr. Williams' cackling rounding forest. laugh still held the sombre clutter Despite his confusion, a small of the forest at bay as he switched comer of Dr. Williams' mind an­ off the machine with a triumph­ alytically considered the possible ant forefinger, and sprawled back causes of this phenomenon. His 118 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION initial wild guess, that the con­ blackly at the foot of the nearby struction of the local terrain pro­ cliff. Without pausing to consider duced some sort of freak echo that it might be inhabited, Dr. effect, was hastily rejected. He William lurchingly covered the was no geologist, but he was pret­ fifty yards that seperated him from ty certain that an echo that took it, and dived inside. approximately four minutes to be­ It was a small, round cave, lit­ come activated was quite beyond tle bigger than a telephone booth, credence. and mercifully empty. He hud­ That seemed to leave two pos­ dled as far back from the entrance sibilities, the first of which was as he could, clutching the machine tenuous to the point of invisibil­ protectively in front of him, and ity, the second simply distasteful. peered squintingly out into the Either (I ) another castaway such clearing. as himself, coincidentally equipped Beyond the wreckage of the with identical machinery and re­ ship, he saw the greenery part. To cordings, had chosen to respond in the accompaniment of shouting kind upon hearing Dr. Williams' trumpets and thrusting saxo­ announcement of his presence, or phones, a figure emerged into the (2) he was already crazy. open. It was approximately the The music, he realised, was be­ size of a full-grown elephant, coming louder. It was now accom­ bright cerise, and the upper part panied by other sounds; the crash­ of its unpleasantly lumpy body ing of displaced undergrowth, a was surrounded by a sinuously mufHed thunder that could have weaving pattern of tendrils that been the tread of heavy feet. He ended in fringed, cup-like open­ felt the ground vibrate beneath ings. It was apparently headless, him, a gigantic pulse-beat that but two eyes, nostrils and a gener­ was, he was suddenly and sickly ous mouth were visible behind the aware, in rhythmic sympathy with threshing fronds. Four squat legs the performance, matching per­ supported its enormous bulk, each fectly the churning swing of gui­ the diameter of a fair sized tree. tar, bass and drums. It was rather, Dr. Williams Giddily, he pushed himself to sweatingly concluded, like a cross his feet. Whatever it was, delusion between an outsized potato sack or nightmare reality, he had to get and an octopus, but whatever it away. was one thing was abundantly and He bundled the machine back deafeningly certain. It was the into its container, and glared source of the music that now rang wildly around him. An opening about the clearing in unshielded, the size of a manhole cover showed cacophonus triumph, uproarious SOMETHING ELSE 119 accompaniment to the creature's after all, were all there; his lone ground-shaking gait. survival, the grotesquely impossi­ It trotted cumbrously round the ble musical performance and its wreckage, blaring as it went. As it equally ludicrous perpetrator that passed Dr. Williams' hiding place, now lurked outside his place of it fendered a creditable imitation shelter, his . . • of the initial statement by double­ Ko Ko pumped its way into bass, muscular strumming that existence again, this time contain­ came to an abrupt and sinister halt ing a distinctly alien added qual­ as it passed out of his sight. ity. Instead of its customary He shrank into a near-fetal po­ animal-like elation, it sounded sition as one of the cup-like ob­ positively plaintive. jects thrust its way through the en­ Dr. Williams listened for a trance. It hesitated in front of brief awe-struck period, then him, then ·pounced, an exuberant smeared the sweat from his eyes movement that strangely reminded with a wobbling hand and tried to the almost fainting Dr. Williams think. of a small dog that he had once Accepting purely for the sake of owned. argument that the situation was The cup explored him, the in­ real, what for pity's sake was the dividual serrations on its edge creature that now sat outside the prodding and stroking like inde­ cave making noises like the long­ pendent, curious fingers. Another dead Duke Ellington band in full entered the cave and joined in the cry? He laboriously reviewed its inspection. Their touch was warm, actions, trying to build up some dry, and not unpleasant, and they sort of composite picture that gave off a mildly lemon-like odor. would give him a clue as to its na­ After what seemed an eternity, ture and purpose. they retreated. Dr. Williams The conclusions that he even­ steeled himself for the next move, tually drew, while outside the fifth fervently wishing that he'd cut his straight rendition of 'Ko Ko' thun­ throat when he had the opportu­ dered towards its conclusion, were nity. None of this, of course, was absurd but inescapable. Somehow, real. He must still be on the ship, in some multidexterous way that delirious-possibly even dying­ was quite beyond his imagining, it from the effects of the crash. Per­ was capable of memorising or re­ haps they hadn't crashed at all. cording what it heard and then Perhaps this was simply some atro­ repeating it in minute detail, even cious nightmare engendered by his to the extent of approximately fear of travel and its imagined simulating the individual timbres consequences. The ingredients, necessary to achieve the final col- 120 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION lective sound. This was sheer lu­ Beyond the cave entrance, he nacy, of course, but Dr. Williams could detect signs of excited move­ doggedly faced up to the fact that ment. A tentacle tip appeared, on the present evidence there was jigging solemnly, shortly to be no other possible explanation. Sec­ joined by others. ondly, it was either quite young Dr. Williams took a deep or relatively stupid. Its attitude breath, said yet another silent but was clearly that of a dog or small fervent prayer, and crawled out­ child that wanted to play, the side with the machine blaring un­ unmistakably plaintive note now der one arm. having talcen on a whining quality The greeting that he received, that grated unpleasantly on his al­ he had no doubt, was friendly. ready highly strung nerves. Tendrils patted, smoothed and His experience of both dogs and tidded him from all angles, some­ children had been limited of late times clumsily, but all with a years, a situation largely dictated marked absence of animosity. Dr. by his wife who had no interest in Williams clung grimly to the still either, but he knew that both had performing machine and bore the a tendency to sulk when denied buffeting with as much equinimity their immediate interest. Disci­ as he could muster, flinching only pline, of course, was the correct occasionally. treatment, but he couldn't see how The music chirruped to a close, he was going to apply any under provoking obvious consternation the existing circumstances. All and an abrupt halt to the amia­ things considered, co-operation bly excited pawing. This recom­ seemed the better part of valor, a menced, briefly, as the caustic vir­ decision aided by the fact that ab­ tuosity of Charlie Parker's saxo­ sence of anything that could be re­ phone scurried from the speaker, motely construed as aggressive in­ then ceased altogether as the crea­ tent had at last permitted Dr. Wil­ ture carefully lowered itself to liams' curiosity to at least par­ a squatting position, its tendrils tially overcome his fear. now moving in gently bobbing He opened the container, placed patterns that made Dr. Williams the machine on the floor of the think light-headedly of dancing cave, selected and fitted another flowers. Gingerly, and wearing a spool, and pressed the 'ON' button fatuously polite smile, he joined it again. 'Potato Head Blues' by the on the ground, offering thanks for Louis Armstrong Hot Seven clat­ the apparently safe opportunity to tered from the speaker, well-nigh do so before his legs gave way of deafening him until he made their own accord. hasty adjustments to the controls. The spool took some twenty SOMETHING ELSE 121 minutes to run its course. During fuDy between and around its fami­ that time they were regaled by the liar ruminations. Other instru­ thickly textured sonorities of Cole­ ments joined in for the final col­ man Hawkins, a brace of roaring lective chorus, and Dr. Williams pieces from the Woody Herman went with them, piping plaintive and Count Basie bands, an Art Ta­ comments that were interspersed tum solo and several sourly elated with the occasional squeak brought numbers by an Eddie Condon about by nervousness and lack of group. Apart from a cautiously practice and listening with one twitching foot Dr. Williams sat eagerly attentive ear to the now motionless, eyeing his incredible more frequent and brassily stated companion and its movements interjections supplied by the ex­ with wary fascination. Occasion­ traordinary figure before him. ally and startlingly the creature The performance sank to a would counterpoint tht. current muted close. There was a brief, ensemble or solo with a phrase of solemn silence, and then the crea­ its own, intrusions that initially ture began to make music of its did little to aid the subsidence of own, single-voiced and softly at Dr. Williams state of tension, but first, but swelling gradually to a which he eventually came to await richly textured fortissimo; jagged, with eager anticipation. These em­ dissonant sounds that caused the bellishments took a variety of hairs at the nape of Dr. Williams' forms, each displaying an aston­ neck to lift ecstatically and his foot ishing degree of sympathy with the to match its insistent pulse. performance. It was some minutes before he The final number on the spool fully realised what was happen­ commenced, a dryly dragging per­ ing. The music contained passages formance of the blues. With a cer­ that he found vaguely familiar, tain stiff embarrassment, Dr. Wil­ but recognition, when it came, liams got to his feet, returned to still startled him. A chromatic his former place of refuge, and passage that was nothing more nor procured the component parts of less than pure Tatum or Hawkins his clarinet. He assembled it with would be followed immediately hands that now shook only slight­ by the creature's own variations, ly, religiously moistened the reed, spine-tingling patterns that meshed then returned to sit in his former perfectly with the rambling yet position. oddly coherent structure of the He joined in cautiously at first, music. adding a muttered, almost apolo­ Dr. Williams became dimly getic embroidery to the trombone aware that at some point in the solo, inserting his phrases care- proceedings he had joined in 122 FANTASY AND SCIENOB FICTION again, contributing strangely an­ unabashed swagger. No, by God, it gular phrases that he would never hadn't been half bad. normally have been capable of He glanced briefly at the crea­ conceiving, let alone attempting ture, placed his clarinet back in to perform. He ducked and bobbed his mouth, tapped his foot briskly and weaved with the music, in­ four times, then blew. stinctively following the tantalis­ Some little time after that, the ing zig-zag of modulations, some­ strains of an exuberant and quite how seeking out the right note, the unique performance of "Tea for apt harmonic aside. Two", played by an extraordinary At long last, it faded and died. collection of instruments that in­ Dr. Williams twiddled a startling­ cluded bassoon-like croakings and ly intervalled and totally fitting something that sounded vaguely coda, then sat in deep reverie, like a plunger-muted sousaphone inexpressibly content. The skies racketed raspingly through the might fall, he could be stricken slowly darkening forest. with some dread and unheard of disease that was beyond his cur­ Despite his occasional recourse ing, he might even suddenly find to prayer in times of stress, Dr. himself viewed in a rather more Williams was not a religious man edible light by the odd and now and correspondingly had little silent and motionless figure that faith in miracles, but he couldn't sat not eight feet away from him, help feeling that his finding him­ but nothing could destroy the hap­ self in his present surroundings piness that he felt at that moment. constituted something closely akin In the past he had added his not to such a happening. But whatever altogether unaccomplished embel­ the cause, he existed in a place of lishments to countless recorded earth and rock and water, bounti­ performances, but absence of will­ fully equipped with fruit and veg­ ing fellow participants had always etables that cautious experiment ensured that these were solitary soon proved tastily edible, abun­ intrusions onto already familiar dant shelter, a total absence of any ground. Now, for the very first other life-form larger than a rab­ time, the crutch of foreknowledge bit, and its immediate region had been removed, leaving him otherwise populated solely by him­ dependent entirely on his own im­ self and the brightly hued being agination, his own abilities. that had become his constant com­ And it hadn't been half bad, panion and sharer of endless mus­ Dr. Williams thought. He felt a ical excursions that soon left him muffied surge of vanity, then let it with a lip like iron and an in­ come jauntily through in all its strumental technique that he had SONB.niiMG I!.LSB 123 never dreamed could possibly be lived. Musically, they daily his. reached a degree of rapport that There were minor inconven­ spoke effortlessly of universal feel­ iences, it was true. Insects were ings and reactions, an emotional frequently present in both variety link that invoked his own immedi­ and abundance, but while they ate responses and from which he were an undoubted nuisance, he derived enormous comfort. was, oddly, never bitten. Also, it If there was a happier man any­ rained, not often but torrentially where in the universe, Dr. Wil­ when it did happen. Dr. Williams liams would have laughed with found these things moderately un­ uproarious disbelief on being in­ pleasant, but readily acknowl­ formed of his existence. He still edged that they were a remarkably found it beyond him to fully ac­ small price to pay when viewing cept that his present circum­ the picture in toto. stances were anything other than During the early days of his a dream, but since he was a think­ relationship with the creature, ing man and therefore one who understandably excited by what had frequently pondered on the seemed to him to be the perfectly true nature of reality, he was not reasonable possibility of establish­ unduly perturbed. Perhaps this ing verbal contact, he attempted was reality and the man-made simple conversational training, clutter of plastic, steel and con­ but it soon became apparent that crete that he had suddenly and as­ his efforts in this direction were to tonishingly come to loathe was the be in vain. It obligingly aped his dream, a nightmare peopled with carefully enunciated phrases-al­ uncaring, uncomprehending indi­ ways, disconcertingly, mimicking viduals with whom he had never his own light baritone-but there really communicated and whose it ended. It was plain that this ac­ idly uniform acceptance of the tivity was simply regarded as some multi-sensory exercises that now inexplicable diversion on his own constituted their staple entertain­ part which it was willing to hu­ ment he scorned with the fervor of mor, and Dr. Williams was forced the true purist. Occasionally he to the reluctant conclusion that its thought about his wife, and shud­ own mode of communication took dered. Was it possible that such a some entirely different course to person really existed, that such a that of his own species. Possibly bizarre liason had been formed I it was telepathic, an achievement At such times he would hastily as­ that still remained little more than semble his clarinet, and then im­ a dream in the minds of men. merse himself in a positive fury But his disappointment was short- of invention that successfully, if 124 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICfiON only temporarily, dispelled such advanced but cruel species who horrifying shadows. had, for reasons that would almost The pattern of his new exist­ certainly remain unexplained ence was soon formed. During the (plague?), deserted them, fleeing days they would wander through the forests to seek the shelter and the placid confines of the forest, assistance to be found in their ci­ Dr. Williams engaged in desul­ ties. Dr. Williams hoped with tory exploration, his companion grim fervency that these were ei­ plainly content to let itself be ther several thousand miles away led by its new-found friend. Oc­ or preferably on another planet al­ casionally, they came across evi­ together. dence of a civilization, oddly de­ Each evening, as they rested in serted machinery that lay rusting the darkening shadows, he would and overgrown in the green shad­ produce the machine, solemnly ows, always without any hint of its select a spool, and for a while the nature or clue to its ownership. At brassy effervescence or sadly de­ such times the creature would clamatory strains of jazz, perfor­ lurk at a distance, its customary mances that spanned the ninety exuberance stilled, only returning brief years of its existence as an when they moved on and the cor­ entity, would stir the stillness of roded enigma was well behind the sleeping forest. Then, when them. Once, they came to a vil­ the final blast or sigh had died and lage, a bleakly regimented block of the rhythmic pulse was stilled, the impractically pyramidal buildings recital would begin again, and he that squatted silent and deserted would listen, head bowed, to the among the encroaching fronds. patterns of simulated brass and Dr. Williams entered one, and reed that hummed and chortled in found its walls and floor liberally the darkness, marvelling at the decorated with huge and rusting now hair-fine accuracy of the copy, shackles. They departed, hastily, yet always conscious of the min­ his companion tooting its obvious utely subtle _differences that la­ relief and his own ethnological belled it as such. suspicions further confirmed by For Dr. Williams understood what he had seen. his chosen music well, and his The creature's amiable lack of knowledge that in its moments of intelligence, coupled with its par­ greatness it became a highly per­ ticular musical capabilities, was sonal means of statement he found the key. Clearly, it was a member, both heartening and sad. It meant, possibly the sole survivor, of a sub­ simply, that when the last of the ject race; slaves and entertainers, batteries had been used, access to the playthings of a technically the music in its true form would SOMETHING ELSE 125 be gone forever. Yet might this not of an interweaving complexity be­ be, he reflected, in some ways for yond anything that he had ever re­ the best? He was living a new life motely envisaged. The barrier be­ in a new world, and nostalgia tween them, composed of space could all too easily imprison him and environment, was shredding, in a cocoon of memories, only par­ and they were moving inexorably tially aware of the truths of his towards a blending of musical miraculously compatible existence. thought and tradition that he Weeks later, a spool faltered for sensed would be the greater both the last time. Sadly but firmly, as for its fusion and the inevitable though unable to bear the death discarding of parts of both. agonies of a dear friend, Dr. Wil­ This hitherto untrod plateau liams pressed the switch, cutting was reached one sultry afternoon Chu Berry off in uncharacter­ some weeks later. Dr. Williams lay istically faltering mid-solo. He beneath a tree at the edge of a large packed machine and spools neatly clearing, drowsily contemplating in their case, and when morning the profuse and picturesque green­ carne scooped a hole at the base of ery in the near distance, while a tree and buried them. The crea­ his companion wandered close by, ture stood some little distance . droning a pleasant but seemingly away, respectfully silent, its pos­ aimless pattern of sound that ture one of sadness and cornrnis­ played softly and at first soothingly. seration. Dr. Williams marked the A sudden and unexpected mod­ tree with the five lines of the stave, ulation occurred, a tonal and har­ carefully carved the notations of monic obliquity that caused Dr. the flatted third and fifth in the Williams to stiffen abruptly and key of Bb, then turned and walked twist his head towards the now still away without a backward glance. figure that faced him from the cen­ The effects of his loss soon tre of the clearing. The creature passed. It still echoed in their own sang on, sounds that built gradu­ musical forays, sudden glaring re­ ally to a complex of timbres that he minders of lifelong idols and had never heard before yet which favorite performances that he flicked tantalisingly against his learned to accept with equinirnity mind, stimulating areas of reac­ and use as harmonic springboards tion that were contradictorily both to creations of their own. Each new and hauntingly familiar. passing day found him increasing­ Something boiled sharply inside ly aware of the understanding that his consciousness and as suddenly integrated their musical concep­ subsided, an abruptly cleansing tion, something that had existed explosion that left him shaking from the beginning but was now with unfulfilled awareness. 126 FANTASY AND SCIENCB FICTION He sat up, removed the sections swelling intrusion that bored im· of his clarinet from his haversack, placably into this emotional nar­ and assembled them with a trance· cosis. Vaguely, he wondered if he like deliberateness. Still seated be­ had suddenly become acceptable neath the tree he began to play, to the native insect population, probing low-register adornments perhaps about to pay a symbolic that added harmonic sinew to the toll that marked his physical as bubbling search, shepherding the well as spiritual acceptance into other's inventions firmly towards his new world. He flapped a tern· the ultimate cohesion that he knew porarily unoccupied hand by his had come at last, and suddenly, ear. The buzzing persisted, loudly like an exultant shout, the pattern now, a pointless, jarring obbligato was resolved into a sustained sonic to the music which flooded about tapestry that rang about the clear· him, its creator seemingly lost in ing, dissolving their surroundings an ecstasy of sound and movement and the very ground beneath them; that grew in intensity as it pro· timeless, placeless sound that gressed. seemed to radiate out to the farth· His inability to ever fully ac· est reaches of infinity. Eyes closed, cept the reality of his surroundings Dr. Williams let his now unbid­ had been a natural precaution on den fingers seek out the ingredients Dr. Williams' part, an instinctive­ that were his contribution to this ly erected barrier against the pos· miracle, never faltering in their sible presence of insanity that he search, surely predestined in the had only lowered completely min· unhesitating rightness of their utes before. Now, suddenly, as the choice. He soared and plummetted dark pool of shadow swept across in a vast sea of sound of which he the clearing and the huge and was an integral part, filled with a writhing figure that faced him, it sense of completeness that he had was as though it had snapped back never known or dreamed could into place of its own volition, in· possibly be. Time was without sulating him, so that he watched meaning, space a boundless vista what followed in a detached way, that echoed the triumph of their warily waiting for its completion empathy. Weeping and unresist· before committing himself to ac­ ing, Dr. Williams let himself be cept it as fact. reborn. The shadow passed on, yet Soft and distant at first, so faint somehow it had remained, a whis­ that he at first accepted it as a not pily fringed darkness that now yet integrated part of this happen· dulled the customarily bright body ing, an oddly discordant note infil· of his friend. Dr. Williams trated his awareness, a gradually watched stiffiy as its movements SOMETHING ELSE 127 accelerated explosively from a "We had a hell of a job finding graceful weaving pattern to gro­ you", one face said. ''The auto­ tesque and terrifying frenzy. Simu­ matic signal got through all right, taneously, the music dissolved into so we didn't have any trouble with screaming clamor. the co-ordinates, but this place is The creature's collapse was all trees. You must be best part of a slow. To Dr. Williams' disbeliev­ hundred miles from the ship. Why ing eyes it seemed to shrink upon didn't you stay close to it?" There itself, movement that was blurred was a pause. After a moment, the by the thickening haze of smoke other face said, "It's lucky for you around it and which now touched you were out in the open when we his nostrils, acrid and sickening. did find you. We couldn't have He watched its tendrils aimlessly happened along at a better time if collide and intertwine, still blar­ we'd rehearsed it. What was that ing their dissonant agony but thing, anyway?" weaker by the second, a dying fall Dr. Williams found that he was of sound that slid jerkingly down still unexpectedly holding his dar­ in deathly accompaniment to the inet. He shook his head, focussed movements of its maker. squintingly, gras~d it with both Its final fall was punctuated by hands, and swung it like a club at various unpleasant sounds. It lay the nearest face. There was a star­ before him, a charred and convul­ tled ejaculation, a blur of move­ sively deflating thing that bubbled ment, and he was thrown face offensively at irregular intervals. down onto the ground. Someone Otherwise, it was quite silent. straddled him, and he felt moist From the comer of his eye, Dr. coldness dabbing on his arm. Williams saw other movement. He - "Poor guy", a panting voice turned his head to watch the small said. "He must have really taken scout ship that had just landed and off. If anybody saved me from a disgorged two men who now made thing like that, the last thing I'd do their way hurriedly towards him. would be to try and brain them." As they passed the still smoking There was a prick that he hardly mound they produced weapons felt, and the voice faded, abruptly. and fired them in its direction. And then Dr. Williams slept How pointless, he thought. Any­ and dreamed dreams that were full one can see that it's dead. of huge shadows and burning men They reached him and assisted in blue uniforms who screamed him to his feet, sudden movement and sang mad songs while they that made him feel violently ill. danced and died. He watched He stared at them, serious faces their fuming gyrations critically, above blue uniforms. applauding as they disintegrated 128 FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION into ashes at his feet. Occasionally persisted in his mind. He was also it seemed to him that they loomed reunited with his wife, whose tear­ close, smiling down at him and ful solicitude was quite genuine talking to him in soothing voices, and which lasted for all of three and then he in tum would scream weeks before being replaced by the at them until they were momen­ verbal prodding that he somehow tarily snuffed out, reappearing found rather less bearable now. through the diffusing pall of Following a period of convales­ smoke, once more singing their tor­ cence, Dr. Williams resumed his tured and incoherent songs and professional acth·ities, lecturing to performing their burning dance bored or faintly amused audiences against the darkness beyond. on campuses and in sparsely filled When the ship reached Earth he halls, only rarely encountering a was immediately rushed to a place flicker of genuine interest or un­ where doctors and machines were derstanding. He had grown ac-cus­ waiting to seal off the nightmares tomed to this a long time before, forever behind impregnable doors, but now, at times, he somehow and after a time they succeeded. shared their apathy. The music Under treatment, his experiences still stirred him with its brassy shrank and grew misty in his mind melancholy, but there were occa­ until they finally winked feebly sions when it seemed that its vitals out, pushed firmly and efficiently had been suddenly and inexplica­ beyond the boundaries of recall. bly removed, leaving behind a thin He still knew-because he was and empty shell of sound that rang told-that he had been involved hollowly on his ear. When this in an accident of some kind, but happened, Dr. Williams would the doctors prudently fabricated a feel something that was inescapa­ suitable story as to its supposed na­ bly buried inside him stir faintly, ture and whereabouts. Knowledge a dim and fading cadence that of the truth was the key to memory sounded far beyond his remember­ and possible disaster, and the treat­ ing but which briefly moved him to ment was an expensive business wonderment and an intangible that the insurance people were re­ longing. luctant to pay for more than once And at night he would stare up per claimant. Consequently, he at the sky, never knowing why, was encouraged to believe that he seeking something that he could had been the victim of a piece of not name among the distant and careless driving on the part of an glittering stars, the dying echo unapprehended jetster, and was of a song that had once (and only indignantly content to accept this once) been sung, and which would as the cause of the blank spot that never now be sung again. ~ *****'''''''''*''*******~ ~ MARKET PLACE ~ • * •************************* * Can I Trust My Bible? $3.50; Twilight of ~volu· BOOKS-MAGAZINES lion, $1.50; Philosophf of Science and Belief In God, $1.50; Campbel -Owen Debate on Chris· tianity, $3.50. Christian Evidence League, Mal· SCARCE BOOKS LOCATED! $4. Minimum. Ash­ verne, N.Y. 11565. land, P. 0. Box 424, New Paltz, New York 12561. INTERESTED IN SCIENCE? Rush $1.00 for three SF Bargains. Uot free. Werewolf Bookshap, illustrated booklets on Radios, Electricity, and Verona 4G, Pa. Rockets. Ralph Cole, Mainstee, Michigan.

SCIENCE FICTION REVIEW contains concise, Why buy books? Send 1()f: for information and timely reviews of books, magazines, and paper­ catalog to: Science Fiction Circulating Library, backs. Includes articles by von Vogt, Norton, P. 0. Box 1308, Sa. San Gabriel, Calif. Anderson, Laumer, etc. Send for free sample copy. Box 1568, San Diego, California 92112. locate any bookl Caribbean Magic Bookhunters, Box 15070-C, Orlando, Fla. BOOKPLATES FREE CATALOGUE-Many beautiful designs. FREE BOOK "990 Successful, Little-Known Busl• Special designing too. Address BOOKPLATES, nesses." Work Hamel Plymouth-8FS, Brooklyn Yellow Springs 4, Ohio. 18, New York. HYPNOTISM Inventory Clearance. Send $1. for seven mystery packet books-Mercury Mysteries, Bestseller Free Illustrated, Hypnotism Catalogue. Write Mysteries, Jonathan Press Mysteries-in good con• Powers, 8721 Suset, Hollywood, California 90069. dition. Maximum order, 21 books for $3. Send order and remittance to: Mercury Press, Box 271, FREE Hypnotism, Self-Hypnosis, Sleep learning Rockville Centre, N. Y. 11571. Catalog! Drawer G.COO, Ruidoso, New Mexico 88345.

DIANETICS, THE ORIGINAL THESIS by L Ron LEARN WHILE ASLEEP, HyfH:!otlze with your Hubbard. This small 101 page hard-cover book recorder, phonograph. Astonishing details, sen· is the original work by L. Ran Hubbard In his sational catalog free. Sleep-learning Research successful search far the answers ta why Man is Association, Box 24-FS, Olympia, Washington. like he is, culminating in Scientology (Applied Philosophy), a science of the mind, based on Scientific truths, for Mankind today. The original Quit smoking subconsciously-conditioning record Thesis contains the primary axioms, detailed $5.95. Fletch, 2-407 Catherina, Dallas, Texas descriptions of Engrams and how they impose 75211. their forces to aberrate individuals. Only $3, Distribution Center, Inc., Dept. FSF, Box 242, Silver Spring, Maryland, 20907. PERSONAL

STRANGE UNIQUE ltema catalog 1()f:. Black Bookloven, IHken- only_ 25~. Ivory Tower, Magic Shop, Dept. R. Box 5664. Mlnneapali.. Journal, 444-FS, Fort lee, New Jersey 07024.. Minnesota 55417.

Do you lla"e sometlllng to ad.,ertlse to sf readers? loolrs, magazines, typewriters, telescopes, computers, space-dri.,es, or misc. Use tile f&Sf Marlret Place at tllese low, low rates: $3.00 for minimum of ten (10) words, plus 30tll for eacll addltlo-1 word. Send copy and remittance to: Ad.,. Dept., fantasy aacl Science fiction, 347 fast 53 Stroot, Now Y'orlr, N.Y. 10022 129 CURIOUS? - Strange, weird, Unusual Surprise WANTED ~ckage from Hawaii. $3. Mature adults anlyl ; ,.. 3503, Honolulu, Hawaii • Mercury, Silver, Gold, Platinum1 Ores assayed ..{;.;g.,£ Vietnam, Cuba, Caza, Cyprus, Algeria. , , • Wholesale Terminal, Norwood, Mass. For eftective peace system for 100 persons plua -send $1.00 to Pax, c/o Vinberg, Rarstrandsg. 56 B Ill, Sthlm, Va, Sweden. MISCELLANEOUS GOOD LUCK NOW comes in packages! Genuine FOUR LEAF CLOVER, in clear cellophane enve• lope, only $1.00. DIMENSION, 160 Broadway, FOREIGN EDITIONS of Fantasy and Science Fie· Dept. 17, New York City, 10038. tion Limited offer-Send $1. for any 3 foreign ROCKETS - New space science hobby. Learn as edition copies of F&SF (usually 50~ each)-French, you build & fly. Illustrated catalog 259:. Single German, Italian, Japanese, Spanish, or British and multiste~ge kits, cones, engines, launchers, Venture SF. Mercury Press, Box 271, Rockville trackers, technical information. fast service. Centre, N.Y. 11571. Estes Industries, Penrose 24, Colorado.

YOUR MARKET PLACE

A market is people-alert, intelligent, active people. Here you can reach 180,000 people (averaging three readers per copy --60,000 paid circulation). Many of them are enthusiastic hobbyists­ collecting books, magazines, stamps, coins, model rockets, etc.-actively interested in photography, music, astronomy, painting, sculpture, elec­ tronics. If you have a product or service of merit, tell them about it. The price is right: $3.00 for a minimum of ten (10) words, plus 30¢ for each additional word. To keep the rate this low, we must request remittance with the order.

Advertising Dept., Fantasy & Science Fiction 347 East 53 SL, New York, N. Y. 10021 130 READ THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION

Stars of the entertainment world ... notables in the news . . . distinguished authors and editors -all owe much of their success to imagination. So when they want relaxation or stimulation in read­ ing, they turn naturally to the finest works of imagination; tales of science fiction. And they find such stories-exciting, fast-paced and ex­ ceedingly well written-in THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. Here they find curre'lt top·notchers such as Robert Hein­ lein, Arthur C. Clarke, Theodore Sturgeon and Isaac Asimov; plus unexpected fantasies from writers famous in other fields, such as Stuar• Palmer and Mark Van Doren. As a bonus, F&SF has a unique record of finding stimulating new talents-such fine writers as Mildred Clingerman, Richard Matheson and Chad Oliver first appeared in these pages. . .. In a word, here is the best of fantasy and science fiction.

at better newsstands every month 50c By subscription $5.00 a year 347 East 53 Street READ THE MAGAZINE OF FANIASY AND. SCIENGE F.:ICTION .

Stars af the entertainment world . .. notables in the news ... distinguished authors and editors -all owe much of their success Ia imagination. So when they want relaxation or stimulation in read­ ing, they turn naturally to the finest works of imagination; tales af science fiction. And they find such stories-exciting, fast-paced and ex· ceedingly well written-in THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. Here they find curre~t top-notchers such as Robert Hein· lein, Arthur C. Clarke, Theodore Sturgeon and Isaac Asimav; plus unexpected fantasies from writers famous in ather fields, such as Stuart. Palmer and Mark Van Doren. As a bonus, F&SF has a unique record of finding stimulating new talents-such fine writers as Mildred Clingerman, Richard Matheson and Chad Oliver first appeared in these pages . ... In a word, here is the best of fantasy and science fiction .

at better newsstands every month 50c By subscription $5.00 a year 347 East 53 Street